watermark's
Rainbow
Family Guide - 2020 -
Family (fam-uh-lee), noun A social unit consisting of one or more adults together with the children they care for.
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watermark's
Rainbow Family Guide Watermark's Rainbow Family Guide is published by Watermark publishing Group
Contents Introduction 7
Owner & Publisher
Rick Claggett
"As They Are" 9
Business Manager
Kathleen Sadler Tampa Bay Bureau Chief
"Loving Homes" 15
Ryan Williams-Jent CEntral Florida Bureau Chief
Family-Friendly Activities
20
Jeremy Williams Editorial Intern
"Family Fun" 21
Edward Segarra Contributing Writer
Steve Blanchard CReative
Dylan Todd
"Finding Fatherhood" 25 "Between the Shades of Blue and Pink"
26
Sales Director
Danny Garcia Senior Tampa Bay Account Manager
Business Directory 30
Russ Martin Senior Orlando Account Manager
Sam Callahan Founder and Guiding Light
Tom Dyer Š Watermark Publishing Group Phone:
ORL: 407-481-2243 TB: 813-655-9890
editor@WatermarkOnline.com WatermarkOnline.com
Contents of this Rainbow Family Guide 2020 are protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the permission of the publishers. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles, advertising, or listing is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or members or organizations. Watermark Publishing Group cannot accept responsibility for claims made by advertisers.
7
Being Seen
LGBTQ family information and resources for all colors of the rainbow
A
Edward Segarra
s someone in my early 20s and a member of the LGBTQ community, I have enough proximity to my earlier youth to recall the emotional through line of this period of my life
with ease. A gnawing craving for acceptance always sat at the pit of my stomach. What I wanted more than anything was the warm reassurance that who I am was perfectly fine. In October 2017, I stumbled upon an episode
platform was healing for my inner child.
of the Disney Channel series “Andi Mack.” I
It gave me immense hope for the LGBTQ
had heard some buzz about the show online
youth of today.
because reportedly one of its episodes was
I think diverse media representation
going to feature a coming-out scene. Out of
can be extremely impactful in creating a
curiosity, I decided to tune in. It turned out that
more LGBTQ-inclusive world for younger
one of the characters on the show, Cyrus, had a
generations. To see yourself reflected
crush on his best friend’s love interest, Jonah.
in some aspect of popular culture
Sitting in the middle of a diner, Cyrus confided
that you revere is validating because
in his other best friend, Buffy, about this recent
it provides an instant feeling of
development.
recognition: a powerful message
After making his confession, with eyes
that says “we see you and there’s a
cast downward, Cyrus expressed a sense
place for you here.” So, when I see a
of uneasiness.
television show like Nickelodeon’s
“Buffy, I feel weird … different,” Cyrus
“The Loud House” which features
said. Grabbing his hands, Buffy quickly
a character with same-sex
reassured him.
parents or hear alternative pop
“Cyrus, you’ve always been weird, but you’re no different,” she responded. This scene lasted a total of two minutes and
singer Halsey singing openly about her bisexuality on Top 40 radio, it makes me
10 seconds but somehow managed to make
feel like the future is
my heart swell with an emotional relief I had
in better hands than
never experienced before while watching
it once was. I know
television. Like many of my generation, I
these things might
grew up with the stories and characters of the
seem fleeting and
Disney Channel. To see a younger character
inconsequential
mirror my queerness with such a purity and
to some, but
to see emotions I had experienced in my
they are also
early adolescence represented with such
a signal that
sensitivity and compassion on a mainstream
the narratives within society are gradually expanding. Those voices and that representation is what we tried to collect in this, Watermark’s inaugural Rainbow Family Guide. In these pages, we have pulled together stories, resources and activities to understand and express yourself, no matter your age. In this guide, you will find Central Florida and Tampa Bay resources for LGBTQ youth, advice for same-sex parents looking into adoption or foster care, a feature on early gender identity and a list of activities for kids with local family-friendly events. From Watermark's rainbow family to yours, we hope you find this resource useful and enjoy the guide.
“If we want our children to move mountains, we first have to let them get out of their chairs.” – Nicolette Sowder
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9
As They Are Parenting LGBTQ youth with love
HRC released the first in a series of reports entitled “Growing Up LGBT in America” in 2018. The organization
ALSOYouth.org | 941-951-2576
LGBTQ youth ages 13-17 from
Sarasota’s LGBTQ youth-focused organization, which has merged with Prism Youth Initiative in Mantatee County, 941-357-0111, PrismYouth.org.
across the country, the largest known sampling of its type. The survey measured key factors impacting their respondents had heard antiLGBTQ messaging from elected officials and 92% had heard it from sources like school, where they are twice as likely than their heterosexual peers to be harassed. “The deck is stacked against young people growing up lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender in America,” HRC’s report reads. “It is critical that we get a better understanding
“I
of the experiences, needs and concerns of LGBT youth.” Nine in 10 LGBTQ youth
Ryan Williams-Jent
t’s you I like. It’s not the things you
reported that they had come out to close friends, sharing their sexual orientation or gender
wear; it’s not the way you do your
identity even when they hadn’t
hair. But it’s you I like, the way you are
those friendships matter, HRC
right now – the way down deep inside you; not These words were first
shared with children in 1971 by beloved television personality
exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” That’s why he shared with youth that it was “you I like,
them for years while welcoming
every part of you. Your skin, your
viewers into “Mister Rogers’
eyes, your feelings; whether
Neighborhood” for 31 seasons.
old or new. I hope that you remember even when you’re
Presidential Medal of Freedom
feeling blue, that it’s you I like;
in 2002, shared a number of
it’s you yourself, it’s you.”
lessons applicable to parenting
stressed, so does the role of the parent. heading towards greater
Fred Rogers. The host reiterated
Rogers, who was awarded the
done so with their parents. While
“While these youth are
the things that hide you.”
That kind of support is critical
then and now. “Love isn’t a
for youth, the Human Rights
state of perfect caring,” he
Campaign (HRC) says. As the
explained. “It is an active noun
nation’s largest LGBTQ-focused
like ‘struggle.’ To love someone
equality organization, they are
is to strive to accept that person
often the first point-of-contact
ALSO Youth
surveyed 10,000 self-identified
lives. It found that 68% of
Photo courtesy Metro Inclusive Health
PARENTING LGBTQ YOUTH RESOURCES
independence, parents still shape and influence their feelings of safety and well– being,” the organization says. “Your words and actions are being watched. Stand up for your children if they are harassed or abused due to their identity.” Information about how best to do that is available from a number of sources – including PFLAG, the nation’s first family and ally organization. Founded in 1972, it has grown into the nation’s largest support network
American Academy of Pediatrics AAP.org | 866-843-2271
Association of pediatricians, offering resources on LGBTQ youth at HealthyChildren.org.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention CDC.gov | 800-232-4636
The nation’s health protection agency, offering resources on LGBTQ youth at CDC.gov/LGBTHealth.
Equality Florida EQFL.org | 813-870-3735
The state’s largest LGBTQ advocacy group and political lobbying organization.
Human Rights Campaign HRC.org | 202-628-4160
The nation’s largest LGBTQ advocacy group and political lobbying organization.
Lambda Legal LambdaLegal.org | 212-809-8585
The nation’s largest legal organization dedicated to LGBTQ equality.
Metro Inclusive Health MetroTampaBay.org | 727-321-3854
Tampa Bay’s LGBTQ-inclusive health and wellness center, with offices in Clearwater, 727-220-0550; New Port Richey, 727-494-7625; Tampa, 813-232-3808 and headquarters in St. Petersburg.
for young LGBTQ people. Continued on pg. 12 | uu |
Continued on pg. 12 | uu |
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The organization adds that
| uu | Parenting LGBTQ
Youth Resources Cont. from pg.9
National Center for Transgender Equality TransEquality.org 202-642-4542
The nation’s leading social justice advocacy organization for transgender people.
Orlando Youth Alliance OrlandoYouthAlliance.org 407-244-1222
Orlando’s LGBTQ youthfocused organization, with chapters in Seminole, SeminoleYouthAlliance.org and Lakeland, LakelandYouthAlliance.org.
PFLAG PFLAG.org | 202-467-8180
The nation’s largest organization uniting families with the LGBTQ community. Chapters include Dunedin, 727-279-0449, PFLAGDunedin.org; Lakeland/Polk County, PFLAGOfPolkCounty.org; Orlando, 321-286-5350, PFLAGOrlando.org; Melbourne, 321-750-4141; New Smyrna Beach/Volusia, 386-957-4479, PFLAG.org/Chapter/PFLAGNew-Smyrna-BeachVolusia; Sarasota, PFLAGSarasota.org; St. Petersburg, 727-490-9044, PFLAGStPete.org; Tampa, 863-535-5239; PFLAGTampa.org and Wesley Chapel/Pasco, 443-606-0993; PFLAGWCPasco.org
The Trevor Project TheTrevorProject.org | 866-488-7386
The nation’s leading LGBTQ youth suicide prevention organization.
Zebra Coalition ZebraCoalition.org | 407-228-1446
Central Florida’s network of organizations proving services to LGBTQ youth.
| uu | As They Are from pg.9
for LGBTQ people, their parents, families and other allies. The organization now has more than 400 chapters and 200,000 members across the country, including throughout Central Florida and Tampa Bay. “It is impossible to overstate the impact of one parent or family member listening to, seeking help from and offering love and acceptance to another,” PFLAG shares. The organization seeks to create “tiny moments of truth and hope among people whose love for their LGBTQ+ family members and friends sometimes comes into conflict with established authorities in their lives.” Those conflicts can come from religious institutions, employers, educators, coaches, doctors and other family members. LGBTQ-focused organizations aren’t the only resource for parenting LGBTQ youth. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) – which represents 67,000 pediatricians – has worked to assist parents since 1930. “Coming out is a lifelong journey of understanding, acknowledging and sharing one’s gender identity and/or sexual orientation with others,” they share. “It is important for parents to remember each child is unique and will have their own experiences and feelings along the way.” Those who identify as LGBTQ are members of every community, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) adds. “They are diverse, come from all walks of life and include people of all races and ethnicities, all ages, all socioeconomic statuses and from all parts of the country.”
their creativity soar and just be
positive parenting practices
themselves in a judgment-free,
help reduce risky behaviors
safe space.”
as children grow. “Parental
Metro Inclusive Health
rejection has been linked
has served Tampa Bay’s
to depression, use of drugs
LGBTQ community in a similar
and alcohol and risky sexual
fashion since 1993, partnering
behavior,” they note.
with PFLAG and other
They also insist children
organizations ever since. Their
do not choose to be LGBTQ,
health and community services
stressing that “not withdrawing
are offered throughout
from your role as a parent
St. Petersburg, Tampa,
is probably one of the most
Clearwater and New Port Richey.
important ways to help a child
Its programming is open to
continue to feel a sense of
youth of all gender and sexual
being cared for and accepted.”
identities and orientations.
They recommend providing
“When we say ALL are welcome,
support, staying involved and
we mean it!” Metro shares.
being proactive.
“LGBTQ programs and events
Local Central Florida and
are designed as safe spaces
Tampa Bay organizations are one
for individuals to make new
of the best ways to do that. The
friends, socialize and find
Orlando Youth Alliance (OYA!)
support through similarly-
has offered support groups from
identified peers.”
facilitators for Central Florida’s
To provide inclusive
LGBTQ youth since 1990,
services that are relevant to
expanding to include chapters in
the community, Metro offers
Seminole and Lakeland because
a variety of youth-focused
“the children are our future.”
programming. It ranges from
The Zebra Coalition, a
weekly peer and parent support
network of organizations
groups to an annual LGBTQ
which also offers services in
Youth Summer Camp.
the area, provides additional
“LGBTQ+ youth don’t always
opportunities for youth. “Come
get the chance to just be kids,”
as you are and get the chance to
the organization shared this
socialize, be creative, have a new
year ahead of its fourth outing.
experience or just have some
“They have to carry the weight
fun,” they share.
of the world on their shoulders,
Each organization collaborates
always wondering when the next
with others in the area to
hardship will hit. Our Summer
empower LGBTQ youth and
Camp is a time for LGBTQ+
educate parents, including The
youth to kick back, laugh and
LGBT+ Center in Orlando. The
build lasting connections with
organization has provided a
people who understand and
safe space for LGBTQ Central
respect them.”
Floridians since 1978, expanding
HRC shares that every parent
to Kissimmee to provide health
and youth-serving professional
services and community-focused
has an obligation to identify
programming in each area.
and protect LGBTQ youth. They
Their partnerships with
also urge “we must reassure
the Center provide a space for
our youth of their value, dignity
LGBTQ youth to specifically
and future.” That can begin at
“speak openly with their peers,
home, utilizing the resources
offer each other support, let
listed here.
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Loving Homes What you need to know if you plan to become foster or adoptive parents Jeremy Williams Along with being able to marry the person
several independent companies within
you are in love with, having children and
the organization, they are able to support
starting a family seemed like unattainable
these kids through foster care, adoption,
dreams for many in the LGBTQ community.
mentoring and more.
This is due to the fact that in the U.S.,
“We welcome any person or couple who
same-sex marriage and LGBTQ people being
wants to love on our kids and give them a safe
adoptive and foster parents was illegal.
and secure home, whether it is fostering or
In Florida, marriage equality was not legal until 2015 and the ability for an LGBTQ
adoption,” Coleman says. When deciding on whether to become a
individual or same-sex couple to adopt or
foster parent or an adoptive parent, the first
foster a child was against the law until 2010.
thing you need to do is consider which one
As laws have caught up to what the community already knew — love is
you are looking to do. “There are instances where if a parent’s
love — more same-sex couples are creating
rights are terminated that a foster parent
their own modern families in these more
could potentially adopt that child, but that
progressive and open times.
is not always the final say,” Coleman says.
Equality Florida, a statewide LGBTQ
That’s because if there’s another family
organization, is a great resource for general
member,that child could potentially be sent
information on the types of adoption
to live with them, if not reunified with their
available to same-sex couples. They include
biological parents.
single adoption, in which an individual
“If that didn’t work out and let’s say the
adopts a child through a private agency or the
foster parent was an option of permanent
Florida Department of Children and Families
residency for that child then the foster parent
(DCF); joint adoption, where you and your
could adopt that child,” she continues.
spouse can legally adopt a child; step-parent
“But the goal of the foster parent is to love
adoption, in which one spouse already legally
on these kids and prepare for them to be
has a child and the other wants to protect
reunified with their parents, family members
their rights as a step-parent; and second-
or someone that’s close to them.”
parent adoption, which is similar to step-
Whether your endgame is adopting or
parent adoption where the same-sex couple
fostering, Coleman says you will begin the
is unmarried.
process on the same path, with what she calls
An individual or couple will have to figure out which type of adoption best fits for their situation. “The first step, regardless
“training classes” and one specific question: What ages are you interested in? “A lot of couples that come in, they have
of which path you are interested in, is to
this scenario in their head of a family that’s
call an agency,” says Kyraneshia Coleman, a
just starting out and they want to have
recruitment manager with Central Florida’s
babies. Unfortunately, if you tell us you want
Embrace Families.
a child ages 0-5, we don’t really have littles;
Embrace Families is an organization whose mission first and foremost is the well being of the children in their care. Through
I call them littles, we don’t really have littles in our world,” Coleman says.
“The average age of a child we deal with is 10, so a lot of times those who are available for adoption or fostering, they’re all over the age of 10, and a majority of them are teens,” she says. “We have sibling groups of two or more and we have kiddos with disabilities.” Coleman says adoptive parents who are set on adopting “littles” would have a better chance utilizing private adoption agencies in Florida. A private adoption would be one arranged without state or government involvement. Many of those agencies are religious-based and tend to be conservative, so research is encouraged. A great first step in knowing your agency’s stance on LGBTQ individuals and couples adopting is checking out which agencies actively reach out to the community. Several agencies including Embrace Families, Pinellas-Pasco Heart Gallery, Connecting Hearts and Devereux have advertised in this and other Watermark publications. Also look out for agencies that set up booths at Pride festivals and other LGBTQ events. “We work very close with organizations like Zebra Coalition and The Center Orlando holding informational sessions and community outreach to let same-sex couples know that we want them,” Coleman says. Once you have found an agency you want to work with, it’s time to go back to school. “Each agency will be a little different in their training, but with us, training classes are about 10 weeks long and you will learn about our system of care and how these kids came into our care in the first place,” Coleman says. “A lot of times what people hear about foster care or adoption is what they see on TV, so we break that down for them because we want them to be fully educated about what they’re signing up for.” Coleman says imagine you are wearing a tool belt as a new parent. What tools are you going to want in that belt to make sure you are able to be the best parent you can be? “No two children are alike, everything that you might experience is very different so we want to make sure that you can combat whatever that may look like,” she says. “Some of these topics are on sexual abuse, Continued on pg. 18 | uu |
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Modern Families Randy Lowe and Joshua Melendez (Top and Bottom L) and Melinda and Betty Potts-Cerio (Top and Bottom R) proudly show off their adopted children in their family photos. Photos courtesy Embrace Families
| uu | Loving Homes from pg.15
topics on culture, on mental health, past traumas. We talk a lot about when a child is acting out, throwing a tantrum – a lot of times what you see on the surface, there’s something else going on in there. As a foster parent or adoptive parent we want you to figure out what that ‘why’ is. Let’s get down to the root of what it is.” Once training is done, it is time for a home visit. Along with seeing where these kids will be living, background checks and interviews are done as well so the agency can make sure that kids in your care will be safe. This is where the path to foster kids and adopt kids will start to differ. Coleman says that couples and individuals looking to adopt can sometimes wait anywhere from
six months to a year before the process of a
able to get information on a child without
home study is complete.
a completed home study.
“That time frame is not set in stone, but
Her biggest piece of advice to future
we are very transparent with the adoptive
parents looking to adopt is that you have to
parents,” she says. With so many kids in
be patient, you have to be open and you have
foster care, those kids are given priority, so
to be flexible.
foster parents will tend to get through that process faster. One key thing to keep in mind, Coleman
“Remember that you are doing this to give a child a good home and to love on them,” she says. “You can be married, single, gay,
says, is that the system does not match you
straight, any race; we don’t care about those
with a child.
things. You don’t have to rich or a home
“Adoptive families need to understand we
owner or promise to take them to Disney
don’t go into this trying to match the family
every day. These kids just want someone
to the kid,” she says, “we match the kid to
who is going to love them and not give
the family. The adoptive child is placed based
up on them.”
on their need, not the couple’s need.” There are websites adoptive parents can
To get started, if you are in Orange, Osceola or Seminole Counties, visit
utilize to find kids needing to be adopted.
EmbraceFamilies.org; if you are in Pinellas or
Coleman mentions AdoptUSKids.org, but
Pasco County, visit HeartGalleryofAmerica.
says to keep in mind that you will not be
org; and for more general information, visit EQFL.org/Family_Recognition.
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Colors of Pride!
T
he rainbow flag was first used as an LGBTQ symbol in
1978, created by LGBTQ artist and activist Gilbert Baker. LGBTQ politician Harvey Milk commissioned him to create a flag for a Pride parade in San Francisco, California to unite the community! Initially, it
who are often
stripes – hot pink,
marginalized. His
red, orange, yellow,
Progress Pride Flag
green, turquoise,
includes white,
indigo and violet
pink and light blue
– but the flag was
– representing the
modified in 1979 to
transgender
focus on six of the
community – as well
colors, losing hot
as brown and black
pink and turquoise.
to represent LGBTQ
Each color was
people of color.
meant to symbolize
Happy Home Word Search!
P
FLAG is the nation’s largest organization dedicated to uniting parents, families and allies with people who are LGBTQ. The organization knows what it means to build a happy home,
which can start with words! “The power of language to shape our perceptions
associated with
Family can visit
these concepts.”
PFLAG.org/Glossary
Grab a marker
to read about these
of other people is
or pen to find the
and other LGBTQ-
immense,” PFLAG
inclusive terms in
inclusive words!
says. “Precise use of
the Happy Home
terms in regards to
Word Search and
gender and sexual
help complete the
orientation can have
happy home above!
a significant impact
Not sure what
on demystifying
something
many of the
means? You
misperceptions
and your Rainbow
WORD LIST: ALLY ASEXUAL BISEXUAL CISGENDER COMING OUT GAY GENDER FLUID GENDER IDENTITY GENDER PRONOUN LATINX LESBIAN LGBTQ NONBINARY PANSEXUAL QUEER QUESTIONING SEXUAL ORIENTATION TRANSGENDER BONUS: WATERMARK RAINBOW FAMILY GUIDE
the community
featured eight
Grab some
aspects of the
prideful markers to
LGBTQ movement.
mirror the Progress
Red represents
Pride Flag below
life; orange, healing;
to color your own,
yellow, sunlight;
and learn more
green, nature; blue,
about each design
serenity and purple,
at GilbertBaker.com
spirit. LGBTQ
and Quasar.Digital.
designer Daniel Quasar built upon this in recent years to be more inclusive for members of
21
Family Fun
LGBTQ events in Central Florida and Tampa Bay fun for kids of all ages
A
Jeremy Williams
s more LGBTQ couples are starting families, those annual
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) programs at OSC help kids to explore possible careers in these challenging and rewarding fields through games, experiments and fun activities. OSC offers STEM Summer Campus for various age groups ranging from pre-school to ninth grade. More information can be found at OSC.org/Learn/ Summer-Camps. The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg is the perfect place for your little ones who are future painters. The museum
getaways, vacas and holidays are starting to become trips
offers Little Surrealists Tours, one-hour
for the entire family to enjoy. Whether you are coming
amazing art and family fun. Careful, the
into Central Florida and Tampa Bay for a visit or if you are a local hoping to find something entertaining for the kids, we have a breakdown of some fun, family-friendly LGBTQ events for you to
Festivals hat better way to celebrate LGBTQ Pride then with your whole family. Pride parades and festivals are
full of openness, love and acceptance for all people of all ages. Many festivals actually include kid’s zones and family-friendly areas with games, face painting, playgrounds, bounce castles and more. Central Florida and Tampa Bay are in no short supply of Pride celebrations either with Tampa Pride kicking off in March; Kissimmee Pride, Polk Pride and St Pete Pride in June; Space Coast Pride in September; Come Out With Pride, Come Out St. Pete, Pasco Pride and Volusia Pride in October; and Sanford Pride and Venice Pride in November, just to name a few. If you have some theatre kids in the family, Orlando Fringe features Kids Fringe every year in May during its International Theatre Festival, the oldest of its kind in the U.S. Kids Fringe spotlights fun and entertaining shows safe for all audiences. They also have arts and craft areas for the kids to show off their own artistic sides. If the Fringe Festival isn’t enough fun for your little ones, Kids Fringe also hosts CampyCamp, a two-week summer camp filled
sessions for kids ages 4-11 to experience website warns you may accidentally learn a thing or two during all the fun. Find tour dates and more information at TheDali.org/ Event/Little-Surrealists-Tour.
walks, theatrical moments and more. More
W
information can be found at OrlandoFringe.
friendly every day but spending holidays at
org/KidsFringe.
the parks is next-level family fun.
check out no matter what your family’s tastes are.
W
Center at the Orlando Science Center (OSC).
with storytelling, dance parties, nature
I
Learning and Reading
Holidays at the Parks hat kids don’t love a day at the theme parks, regardless of where on the LGBTQ spectrum they identify?
For the most part, all of the parks are family-
Walt Disney World spares no expense to bring the holidays to its parks. Kids
f you have kids who love books, what better
can hang with Mickey Mouse and all his
way to introduce them to new stories
friends in October for Mickey’s Not-So-
than by having them read to you by a drag
Scary Halloween Party and in December for
queen. Drag Queen Story Hours have gained in popularity over the last few years and
Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party. Universal Studios may not be the best
Central Florida and Tampa Bay have several
place for the kiddos during Halloween
for you to choose from.
Horror Nights, but it's happy holidays for
The LGBT+ Center in Orlando
the whole family when they roll out The
features story time with Gidget Galore
Grinchmas Who-liday Spectacular at Islands
(TheCenterOrlando.org); Momma Ashley Rose
of Adventure and Christmas in the Wizarding
and Bubblegum utilize drag to fundraise and
World of Harry Potter each December.
cultivate family-friendly LGBTQ safe spaces
Much like Universal, you may want to
in Lakeland (RoseDynastyFoundationInc.
keep the kids at home for Busch Gardens'
org); Stephanie Stuart and VynSuazion
Howl-O-Scream, but it's all kids, all day in
read to the kids thanks to events from
December when they showcase “Rudolph the
Pasco Pride (PascoPrideFestival.org);
Red-Nosed Reindeer” characters and Santa’s
and an array of queens bring the kids
House for the Christmas Town celebration.
together in St. Petersburg for Drag Queen
For little brick-builders in the family,
Story Hour Tampa Bay (Facebook.com/
LEGOLAND showcases Halloween fun with
DragQueenStroyHourTampaBay).
Brick-or-Treat each October. In December,
If you like some education in your kid’s
LEGOLAND presents the season with holiday
fun, you can’t go wrong with children’s
shows, winter-themed LEGO sculptures and
programs at local museums. One of our
meet-and-greets with LEGO Santa and LEGO
favorites in Orlando is the STEM Discovery
toy soldier.
Celebrating 30 Years of Service to LGBTQ Youth in Central Florida! A Judgement-Free Safe Space for LGBTQ+ & Straight Allies (ages 13-23). Social & recreational activities, support & mentoring, scholarships.
Orlando Youth Alliance www.OrlandoYouthAlliance.org 407-244-1222 Seminole Youth Alliance www.SeminoleYouthAlliance.org 407-244-1222 Lakeland Youth Alliance www.LakelandYouthAlliance.org info@LakelandYouthAlliance.org
FUNDED IN FULL OR IN PART BY ORANGE COUNTY GOVERNMENT, FL
W at e r m a r k ’ s R a i n b o w Fa m i ly G u i d e 2 0 2 0
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OYES provides free, dynamic and interactive workshops entertainment and activities for LGBTQ+ youth provides free, dynamic and interactive workshops young adults, and parents.
OYES entertainment and activities for LGBTQ+ youth VIRTUAL EVENTS young adults, and parents. Saturday Sessions August 26 | September 29 | October 26
VIRTUAL EVENTS For registration to orlyes.org Saturday go Sessions
August 26 | September 29 | October 26
For registration go to orlyes.org
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Finding Fatherhood
New dads reflect on parenting with pride
W
Steve Blanchard
atching his one-year-old twins begin to explore the
“She was then apologetic for assuming things and we had the sweetest conversation. She was just trying to be friendly and I was trying to educate at the same time. Our goal is to not hide our family in a closet and to show society in general that family comes in many forms. It’s all about communicating the right way.” Being a visible family bears some responsibility, something the couple never considered but welcomes. He admits that it was a difficult place to be at first, mostly because he wasn’t sure about his own abilities as a parent. “I didn’t know how to do this,” he says, recalling the couple’s first three
world led Dr. Julian Sanchez to realize how amazing
sleepless months. He turned to his sister, a
fatherhood is.
parenthood can be scary but “it’s just nature
He always knew he wanted to be a dad, but
had a plan in place, they were surprised when
assumed it wasn't possible while growing up
they got a phone call four weeks earlier than
gay in the 1980s. The idea of two men raising
expected announcing that their boys were
children was weird at the time, Sanchez says.
on the way. “We were actually with friends
But everything changed for him in June 2019
enjoying our last week of being childless,”
when he and his husband Stefan welcomed
Sanchez says.
twins Noah and Julian Peter into the world through surrogacy.
They made it in plenty of time and witnessed the arrival of the twins at a South
Sanchez and his husband had always
Florida hospital. “As soon as the babies
hoped to have twins, even in their early
were born they gave them to us,” Sanchez
stages of planning to be parents in 2016. They
recalls. “It was all just so amazing to
worked together to find both an appropriate
finally hold them.”
egg donor and a proper surrogate.
Watching the boys grow has been the most
“It took us two years to line up everybody
rewarding part of the journey for the couple.
to get this started, even with the help of
“If they don’t want something, they don’t
an agency,” Sanchez reflects. “We went
want it,” Sanchez muses. “They have these
through eight egg donors before we found
little personalities ... I didn’t realize they’d
the right match. Our egg donor had to be
develop into their own so quickly."
an appropriate match both medically and
Sanchez and his husband have now
personally. Once we met our egg donor, we
carved out regular routines that include the
knew she would be perfect.”
twins, saying they have fully embraced their
Once the donor was confirmed, the eggs
new roles and have not had any negative
were fertilized and the embryos were placed
experiences with strangers noticing a family
on ice as the couple searched for a gestational
with two dads.
carrier. After several interviews, they found
“There have been conversations, of
the right woman to carry their twins. “She’s a
course, but they’ve all been positive and
lovely woman who has two kids of her own,”
educational,” Sanchez says.
Sanchez says. “She was so supportive and
He describes a time he was running in
we visited her a lot through the pregnancy.
his neighborhood with his children in
We were involved in every doctor visit either
their jogging stroller. A woman stopped
through Zoom or in person and saw every
him and began talking about the twins,
ultrasound. It was amazing.”
commenting that he’d given “their mom
The Tampa couple wanted their children to be born in South Florida to be closer to
a break for a while.” “I told her that, ‘no, I was giving the
Sanchez’s parents for support. While the men
other dad the day off,’” Sanchez explains.
right: the sanchez family, photo courtesy dr. julian sanchez
fellow parent, for advice. She advised that … you figure it out,” he recalls. It seems that his sister was right. Sanchez says that both he and his husband are very comfortable in their roles as dads and are excited to watch their sons grow. “My hope is that they will grow up in a society that accepts them and that they are never put at a disadvantage for having two dads,” Sanchez says. “I don’t ever want to be the cause of anything like that in their life," he continues. "We are grateful to have had the opportunity to have a family and are appreciative of all the help we had along the way from family, selfless donors and gestational carriers, friends, employers and medical teams. It certainly does take a village to raise – and in our case – have a child.” For a list of resources for building your own family, view our Business Directory on page 30.
W at e r m a r k ’ s R a i n b o w Fa m i ly G u i d e 2 0 2 0
Empowering LGBTQ+ youth and their allies and creating inclusive communities.
ALSO Youth is a not-for-proďŹ t organization that provides peer support, educational programs, advocacy, sensitivity and inclusion trainings, and referrals for LGBTQ+ youth ages 13 to 24, their families and friends, and the community.
ALSO Youth
Call Now to learn about recieving a Free Engagement Session!
1470 Boulevard of the Arts Sarasota, FL 34236 (941) 951-2576 www.alsoyouth.org
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29
Between the Shades of Blue and Pink Theybies help reimagine gender and parenting
I
Edward Segarra
s it a boy or a girl? This is one of the most-asked questions
socialize their children and interact with kids in general. “Raising a child gender-open … avoids the stereotypical treatment that adults often do unintentionally ([e.g.] treating those perceived as boys in a more rough-andtumble way ... while treating those perceived as girls with more gentle cuddles and affection…),” Schwartz says. When it comes to school-aged children and helping them navigate the norms and attitudes of their school environment, Schwartz says that children at this stage have often established “a consistent gender identity,” but if they haven’t, parents should seek community resources and establish a dialogue with school officials to help create mutual understanding. “Look at the school board policies for your area, draw on any human rights legislation that supports the inclusion of
someone gets when they are having a baby. However, what if
your child, talk to queer families about what
the answer wasn’t as straightforward as originally thought?
schools and what has been helpful and have
What if there was another answer choice to choose from? Gender-open parenting, according to the
they may differ from others, are not taught
online parent network Theyby Parenting, is a
to associate [their] body parts with being
parenting style in which a child is given the
a boy or girl. If no one knows a child’s sex,
opportunity to self-define their gender and
these parents theorize, the child can’t be
sex for themself.
pigeonholed into gender stereotypes.”
“A gender neutral pronoun – often
At Theyby Parenting, the online network
they/them/theirs – is used [in place] of
views gender-open parenting as facilitating
[he/him/his] or [she/her/hers], until that
an openness that can build trust between
child identifies their own gender, sex
parent and child and allow for a greater sense
and pronoun,” according to the Theyby
of personal freedom.
Parenting’s official website. A term has even been coined to describe
According to a 2016 study conducted by the UCLA School of Law Williams Institute,
children who are raised according to a
0.6% of adults living in the U.S. identify as
gender-open parenting style: “theybies.”
transgender. However, Theyby Parenting
In order to ensure their children the
cautions that statistical data may not be fully
autonomy of self-determining their gender,
accurate in reflecting the true extent of the
parents of theybies may make the decision
trans population, due to a lack of disclosure
to not disclose the biological sex of their
resulting from the exclusion of transgender
children to others, in an attempt to avoid the
people from mainstream society. They've
influence of gender norms on their children’s
also stated that a gender-open parenting
development.
style can be beneficial for cisgender
“What makes this ‘gender-open’ style of parenting stand out … is that the parents
children as well. Adinne Schwartz, a parent representative
do not reveal the sex of their children to
from Theyby Parenting, says that apart from
anyone,” Julie Compton wrote in an article
the benefits it can have for children, gender-
for NBC News. “Even the children, who
open parenting can reshape the way parents
are aware of their own body parts and how
their experiences have been like in their a conversation with school staff before your child enters school,” Schwartz says. “Be prepared to do some education.” On a societal level, gender-open parenting can pave the way for a more inclusive world that readily embraces the diversity of LGBTQ+ identity and expression. “Since our children are aware of diverse gender identities and expressions from an early age, they embrace and accept that diversity in others,” Schwartz said. “Fostering understanding and acceptance as part of the character of our kids is a great benefit to them, but also helps create a more LGBTQ-supportive society and one that embraces all gender-diverse people.” For more information on gender-open parenting and available resources, visit TheybyParenting.com.
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Business Directory
ADOPTION & FOSTER SERVICES 26Health
321-800-2922 ext. 1650 26Health.org
Connecting Hearts Adoption – Child Adoption & Home Study Services 407-733-8642 ConnectingHeartsAdoption.com
Embrace Families 321-441-2060 EmbraceFamilies.org
Pinellas – Pasco Heart Gallery 727-479-1845 HeartGalleryKids.org
ATTRACTIONS The Florida Aquarium
PFLAG – Riverview
813-833-7972 PFLAG.org/Chapter/PFLAG-Riverview
813-348-9696 AbsolutelyOptical.com
PFLAG – Sarasota
Thomas Law Firm, PLLC
PFLAG – Wesley Chapel / Pasco
FINANCIAL SERVICES
727-490-9044 PFLAGStPete.org
641-270-2022 PFLAGSarasota.org
443-606-0993 PFLAGWCPasco.org
COMMUNITY YOUTH ORGANIZATIONS ALSO Youth 941-951-2576 ALSOYouth.org
GLSEN
GLSEN.org
Lakeland Youth Alliance
BANK AND CREDIT UNION
Orlando Youth Alliance
813-871-2690 GTEFinancial.org
CAMPS Osceola Arts 407-846-6257 OsceolaArts.org
CHILDCARE Nannies Who Care 727-784-8868 NanniesWhoCare.com
COMMUNITY ORGANIZATIONS PFLAG – Orlando
LakelandYouthAlliance.org
Wealth Advisors Who Care 727-230-3800 WealthAdvisorsWhoCare.com
HEALTH AND WELLNESS 26Health 321-800-2922 26Health.org
Planned Parenthood PlannedParenthood.org
Orlando Health OrlandoHealth.com
Seminole Youth Alliance
727-360-5531 BilmarBeachResort.com
407-244-1222 OrlandoYouthAlliance.org
Zebra Coalition 407-228-146 ZebraYouth.org
CRYO BANK Cryos International Sperm and Egg Bank 407-203-1175 CryosInternational.com
EDUCATION Walden Community School
PFLAG – Tampa
EVENTS
727-279-0449 PFLAGDunedin.org
407-717-9990 ThomasLawImHere.com
HOTEL AND LODGING
407-677-8225 WaldenCommunitySchool.com
PFLAG – Dunedin
FAMILY LAW
407-244-1222 OrlandoYouthAlliance.org
321-286-5350 PFLAGOrlando.org 863-535-5239 PFLAGTampa.org
Absolutely Optical
PFLAG – St Petersburg
813-273-4000 FLAquarium.com
GTE Financial
EYEWEAR
Orlando Youth Empowerment Summit OrlYes.org
Bilmar Beach Resort
LIBRARIES Orange County Library System
PHOTOGRAPHY SERVICES
Dylan Todd Photography 727-310-1212 DylanToddPhotography.com
REAL ESTATE Green House Realty Inc. – Scott Benson 407-474-0724 ScottyTheRealtor.com
Tabi Deas, Realtor
813-758-9971 CoolestRealtorInTampaBay.com
RELIGIOUS SERVICES King of Peace MCC 727-323-5857 ChurchStPetersburg.org
Saint Andrew United Church of Christ 941-922-7595 SarasotaUCC.org
St. Lukes United Methodist Church 407-876-4991 St.Lukes.org
St Stephen Lutheran Church 407-869-0491 StStephen.org
RETAIL
407-835-7323 OCLS.info
City Furniture
MUSEUM AND GALLERIES
Tyrone Frame and Mirror
Art and History Museums-Maitland
THEATER AND VENUES
407- 539-2181 ArtAndHistory.org
Orange County Regional History Center 407-836-8500 TheHistoryCenter.org
Orlando Museum of Art 407-896-4231 OMArt.org
CityFurniture.com
727-344-1000 TyroneFrame.com
Asolo Repertory Theatre 941-351-8000 AsoloRep.org
TRAVEL AND TOURISM City of Sanford SanfordFL.gov
I-Drive Resort Area IDrivePlaycation.com
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