infill Are you MKP or Hutch? Continuing with a couple of themes we’ve been running in the last two issues...
You know it’s been too long since you went canal digging when...
...but you start to think WRGie life may one day return when...
...you realise you haven't even tackled the annual struggle to figure out how the hell you put the WRG van's clock on to British Summer Time... and then you just think "Oh bugger it, there's no point, the clocks go back again in a month." ...you find a Santa stocking in the London WRG catering kit... in September! [Both of these are genuine experiences of the editor. And so, for that matter, are the three in the right-hand column too!]
...you stop regarding the WRG van parked outside your house as a big red bike shed for long enough to wonder if there's actually any diesel in the tank ...you finally get around refuelling said van, and think "I suppose I need to claim it back from the BCN Clean Up" ...you put your safety specs on and try to colourmatch the mud obscuring your view to decide if it was Ironbridge in March or Lichfield in February
Coming soon: the “Which well-known canal restorer are you?” quiz You remember those ‘personality’ quizzes that did the rounds on social media a couple of years back? They ask you half a dozen or more multiple choice questions, and then based on your answers they tell you which Star Wars character you are, or which English king or queen you are, or in one example I saw (yes, really!) which mid-20th century Anglican theologian you are. Well we haven’t quite got there yet, but we’re working on it... 1: The ideal backfill material for lock walls is: A Hand made bricks by the thousand B The bodies of the landowners who stood in the way of your restoration project C High spec modern concrete with bespoke designed reinforcing D Someone else’s problem 2: It’s late, the cook has texted to say dinner is nearly ready and the concrete pour is half done. Do you: A Remember that you’re all volunteers and are hungry B Hire in arc-lights C Carry on in the gathering dark (hiring lights is for wimps) D It's never going to happen as you are still waiting for the intricate reinforcing design 3: You have a couple of completely hopeless Duke of Edinburgh's Award scheme attendees on your camp. How do you help them get better? A Put them on brick cleaning duty B Inflict them on the cook to help C Send them home on day two, there’s no space for time wasters D See question 1 above: use them as backfill for the lock walls
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All we need now is someone to write the 'world-beating' computer system that turns your answers into something like: "Congratulations, you are the legendary David Hutchings of the Upper Avon Navigation. You’re happiest when using (a) long-term prisoners or (b) dynamite on your working parties. Ideally you like to combine the two, to make sure things really go with a bang!" ...or perhaps... Congratulations, you are WRG Chairman Mike Palmer. The only reason the editor is reduced to writing this rubbish is because he’s bored of waiting for your column to arrive... ...or maybe... "Commiserations, you are Martin, the Navvies editor. You would think nothing of deliberately bricklaying extra-slowly because you've got more space to fill in the next-butone issue of the magazine than the current one. Or hiring a narrow skip-loading dumper rather than the wider one you really need, because its picture fits the front cover better." Coming next time: which 18th century canal engineer are you? PS answers to last issue’s crossword in the next issue - sorry
