I am Kamla Gond

I am Kamla Bai Gond

Text by Anil Kumar Illustrations by Lucy Pepper

The Rural Changemakers gem.e.V. is a not-for-profit association based in Berlin. Its purpose is to support youth welfare, education, vocational training and cooperation in the field of development aid as well as to promote an international ethos, tolerance in all areas of cultural life, and understanding among nations.

In particular, its articles aim at the planning, execution, and supervision of interdisciplinary projects with and for children and young people in the rural areas and villages of India. www.rural-changemakers.com

1. Edition 2021 Copyright: The Rural Changemakers gem.e.V. Hauptstraße 17 10827 Berlin Germany www.rural-changemakers.com hello@rural-changemakers.com Idea and Concept: Ulrike Reinhard Text: Anil Kumar (supported by Ulrike Reinhard) Illustrations: Lucy Pepper Layout: Bea Gschwend

I am Kamla Bai Gond

Text by Anil Kumar Illustrations by Lucy Pepper

Anil Kumar is 16 years old. He is one of our Barefoot Skateboarders and takes part in the Open School Project.

Anil is homeschooling and will pass 12th grade exams next year.

Lucy Pepper is an illustrator, motion graphics designer and sometimes writer.

She illustrates, animates and writes many different kinds of things, and her work has been seen in books, newspapers, telly and a whole bunch of corporate things over the years.

Lucy is British and has lived for many years in Lisbon, Portugal. https://lucypepper.com

I am Kamla Bai Gond. I was born on January 1, 1973 in Itwakala, a remote village not too far from Janwaar where I live today. Itwakala, just like Janwaar, is located in Panna district, Madhya Pradesh. I am the oldest child of my parents – I have four younger siblings. My family was very poor and my life was pretty much like the lives of other young girls and women in rural India. I didn’t think much about it and I just did what I was supposed to do. I lived day by day.

Itwakala When I was young there were maybe a thousand houses in Itwakala. In each house lived five to seven people. It is a much bigger village than Janwaar. None of the houses was cemented – people were living in mud houses.

There was electricity in the village but not everyone could afford it. We didn’t have electricity in my home.

We had no toilets. The water we had to get from the well.

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People from different castes were living in Itwakala such as: Choudhary, Thakur, Braman, Lodhi, Dhobi, Prajapati, Yadav, Dhimar, Kori, Nai, Banskar, Dumar, Gadariya, Kushwaha and us, the tribals.

Today the village has electricity and it is reachable by bus. People have better houses and they are living happily. Yes, there are still some problems but I would say that it is much better than it was before.

My family My family was very poor, we were living hand-to-mouth.

My father’s name was Hakko. He worked at a farm.

The owner of the farm helped my father to finance his wedding. I don’t know how much money the farmer gave, but what I do remember is that my father cut a deal with him. He committed himself to work for a certain time to pay off his debt. My father was a polite person. He used to wear a Jhola and a Perdania – traditional Indian dresses that some old people still wear nowadays. Jhola is actually the Hindi word for baggy, so it means a long loose shirt. Just like a Kurta. And a Perdania is our local word for a Dhoti – these are white, baggy pants which only men wear. There are different ways of wearing 12

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them – depending how you tie the fabric. What the Sari is for the women the Jhola Perdania is for the men.

Sometimes my father brought puri, pickles and other good food from the farmer. When we spotted him in the distance carrying home food, I ran with my sisters Halki and Guddi Bai towards him to see what he had brought. The farmer’s food was special for us because we were very poor and couldn’t afford such food. Usually we only ate Makka which is roti with rice or occasionally we would have a vegetable curry.

Unlike my father, my mother Ratia Bai got angry with me when I did something wrong. She was very strict and once in a while she would even beat me because I didn’t do my house chores properly. She had a stern face. Her hair was black and her skin was very oily.

Being the oldest child it was my responsibility to take care of my three younger sisters and one little brother.

The school I only saw from the outside – I couldn’t go because I had to work at home. I would have loved to go to school and explore. I felt very bad about it. My youngest sister and brother used to go. Yet it didn’t make any difference in their later lives. My siblings neither have gotten a better job nor better husband.

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They just had more free time to study and learn when we were young. Otherwise all our lives turned out to be the same. It was actually a loss for them because they didn’t go to school to learn to do house chores and get married.

Occasionally I also worked with my parents in the fields.

The fields didn’t belong to us. We weeded and cleaned up the fields, sometimes we planted nice plants. We worked as day labourers. I remember that we earned five Rupees a day – five Rupees for an entire day full of hard work! Farm work was the only work which was available for us. We didn’t go outside the village to find other work.

My parents were not able to save anything. Our overall situation was not good. We didn’t have many clothes to wear and not enough food to eat. Our family house was one small room in which all seven people, my parents, younger siblings and I, used to sleep. It was made out of mud. We only had a few blankets – all filled with holes. We also used my mom’s sari as a blanket during the monsoon season. Luckily our roof was not leaking, so we didn’t get wet inside. We had no beds. We slept on pyaar, it’s a kind of grass from the rice plants. Not 16

all villagers were as poor as us. Some were living better lives. They had bigger mud homes and more space to put their things neatly.

We had no garden around our house but we had some cows and chicken. We kept the cows in a hut and the chicken stayed inside a small square surrounded by a fence. We used to feed them rice and sometimes we took the cows to harvested fields or in the jungle for food.

From the cow milk we made tea and kheer. Kheer is a sweet dish made with hot milk, sugar and rice. We would sell the chickens, it was rare that we ate one.

500 meters from our home there was a well – from there I carried the water we needed for cooking, washing the dishes and our clothes.

My friends Despite working hard at the house I had enough time to play with my friends Mamta, Komal and Hakla Bai. They lived in the same village and we often helped each other to complete our work.

We played hide & seek, Kabaddi (a contact sport which is very popular in Indian villages) and Amma Dali. We 17

played Amma Dali under a huge mango tree. We formed a circle and one player threw a stick and all the others climbed up the tree. The one who was going after the stick had also to catch the other kids on the trees. It was a lot of fun.

I recall other funny moments with my friends. We took sugar cane from Kushwaha’s farm without asking him.

My parents told me not to do this because the farmer didn’t allow anyone to go on his farm. But it was such a lot of fun for us. So we kept doing it. We hid the sugarcane in a place where the parents and the farmer couldn’t find it, we cut it into pieces and ate them one by one.

We enjoyed its sweet taste. It was so delicious, and it tasted even better because we weren’t allowed to eat it!

It was always a secret feast. A celebration of food which we ourselves could not afford.

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My Marriage My parents married me when I was 13 years old. They selected my husband – I had no say in this. I didn’t know anything about marriage, I had no clue what was going to happen – so I was simply all excited, happy and smiling. The ceremony went on for four days and I enjoyed it very much. My sister helped me.

From the day of my engagement my body was covered with turmeric for three days – my skin was glowing and looked very fresh. All this was done to impress my future husband and his family.

On the last day of the ceremony the guests from the groom’s side arrived on a tractor. We had many guests and my parents were busy taking care of them. I was wearing a colorful lehenga choli – a long shirt and a blouse. It’s a dress most girls wear for functions. I had a silver chodi around my ankle and my wrist. On this day I saw my husband for the very first time. I didn’t feel anything. He was a 15 year old boy wearing pajamas and a shirt. He looked like a normal person to me, nothing special, nothing to be afraid of. He and his family were living in Janwaar.

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Our wedding ceremonies took place under a wooden mandap. The mandap is something central in Indian weddings. In rural areas the family of the bride would build it. It is like a huge umbrella under which the groom and the bride perform all the rituals. My parents fixed it in front of our house. Nine thick wooden pillars were holding the top. The top is made out of Mango, Jaamun (java plum & Indian blackberry) and Chhilwa leafs. The center of the mandap is made out of Bamboo and Salaiya and holds a small piece of Chhilwa wood on which a Kolam is painted. A Kolam is a geometric line drawing composed of straight lines, curves and loops, drawn around a grid pattern of dots. These designs are repeated by generation after generation.

It looked beautiful.

All this was new to me. I was standing with my husband under the mandap and we started walking seven times in a circle. Under the mandap we also received our wedding gifts.

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A Rude Awakening The celebrations were over and everyone was getting ready to go home. It came to me as a shocking surprise that I had to leave my family and village. I had no idea that I had to move to my husband’s village and live with his family. No one had told me. All the barati (people from the groom’s side) were climbing on the tractor on which they arrived. I was walking with my family towards the tractor as well and I thought we would wave them good-bye. But no! My family was walking with me to drop me off! I had no choice, I had to obey and go. I felt horrible, I was crying – I hugged everyone and we left. There I was. All alone with this new family whom I didn’t know at all. I was scared.

No one took care of me on the tractor. I was the only woman among all the boys and men. Everyone was from Janwaar – except me. I got little support from the elder people; they asked me to stop crying but no one really made an effort to calm me down.

We drove through the jungle. It was a bumpy road so it took two and a half hours to reach Janwaar. In my village there were only small plants and trees but in 23

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Janwaar there were a lot of big trees and I didn’t know their names. I hadn’t seen anything like this before. It was so scary.

On our way we stopped at Jalai, a small village in the jungle. That was the first time we offered our prayers to receive God’s blessings. It’s part of the rituals when people get married. Everyone jumped off the tractor, including me. They all went for their prayers and they left me alone. I prayed at a Thakur Baba temple dedicated to Lord Krishna. He is honored by the people and when a new girl comes into the village then she will have to touch his feet and pray in front of him. So did I. In Janwaar we went to more temples for prayers – I prayed at Dulha Dev, Kher Mata and Durga Mata. To Devi DurgaI I prayed to give me female power, Dulha Dev makes your wishes come true. And as I’ve learned over the years we pray to Kher Mata every year for sufficient rains that will fill our lake. We need the water.

During our prayers we cover the statue with mud from the lake. Kher Mata can wash itself by the rains.

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Janwaar – my new home and life The overall situation in Janwaar was almost the same as in my village. The houses looked pretty much the same, a few were better. They were built with stones and bricks. Yet there were also poorer people living in shabby, wooden huts. The roofs were covered only with grass.

Now I was a housewife and had to run the house of my husband and his family. I didn’t know how to make good chapati. Whenever I made it, it burned. Then my mother-in-law would scold me and even beat me. She was a very strict person and easily got angry. Her face always looked angry. There was no joy in her. She wanted me to do all the work and kept on asking to do this and that. I was afraid of her and didn’t dare to argue. I just followed her commands and obeyed.

My husband was roaming around in the village with his friends. I didn’t know anything bad or good about him. All I knew was that I was married to him. He was a complete stranger to me. As time passed by he started beating me when he got drunk. I really felt unlucky and I couldn’t do anything. I was trapped. No one came 26

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to visit me. My friends also got married and left for other villages. I was all alone. It was hard to connect with my parents and siblings because there wasn’t any transportation available and we also didn’t have money to go. The only time my parents would come and visit me was during a festival.

There wasn’t much work available in Janwaar. It was a hard time. To earn a living I used to go to the jungle to collect wood and sell it in Panna. Many women do this – so sometimes we go together. We usually leave around noon and it takes us three to four hours. The wood weighs around 15 kg, sometimes more. All the women are carrying the wood on their heads. I had to learn this as well. I lean the bunch against a tree, bend and lift it on my head. It is not easy to balance it – but I got used to it. The wood needs to sit on my head equally on both sides, front and back. To protect me from injuries I put a kundi (a wad of clothes) before lifting the wood. Once the wood is balanced I start to walk slowly.

It’s all a matter of practice. When we return home in the afternoon we keep the wood in our houses. The next day, early in the morning, we will carry the wood on to Panna. We get 120-150 rupees for one pack. It is very hard work but at least we know we will get paid!

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It happened that we worked in the fields for other people and they didn’t pay us. This was tragic. The owner of the field was known for this. He sometimes paid less or even nothing to punish us for whatever invented reason.

We couldn't do anything against this because they had more power in comparison to us workers. These were the rich people of the village, the landlords who tempted us with job offers and then acted arbitrarily.

Looking back I really feel bad. It was a very tough time.

Today I am extremely happy because I really worked hard – just like all the other other women. I didn’t rest.

I faced many difficulties like I had to take care of the children, work for food, house chores etc. and it was hard to manage everything because my husband wasn’t working and still he doesn’t go to work. He only helps when we grow crops at our farm which is heavily dependent on rain. If rain doesn’t come then there would be nothing at the farm. Our farm is three km from Janwaar.

Over time I made a few friends in Janwaar Champa, Shubhda and Ramkali. They helped me when I was new in Janwaar. Champa, and Shubhda are old now and Ramkali died a couple of years ago. They laughed 29

at me when I didn’t know how to do certain things, but they also helped me. From them I learned how to make chapati and collect wood.

My own family My husband and I have three children, two girls and one boy. At the age of 14 I gave birth to our first child, a boy. I gave birth to all three of my children at our house in Janwaar. Champa, Shukarti, Ramkali, Subdha and Ektariya helped me. They are all members of my Janwaar family. I was lucky to have them, because I didn’t know anything about childbirth. No one spoke about such a topic.

We married our eldest daughter, Sunila, when she was 15. Just like me she hasn’t seen her husband before her wedding. It was her father who selected her future husband, our son-in-law. I wasn’t asked. Sunila knew that she was getting married. She simply accepted it. I told her that she had to leave the village and live with her new family. That was all I could do – I only knew this kind of live. There were no options. Sunila was very shy – so she didn’t say much.

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Today she is living with her family in Tekaria, 95 km from Janwaar. I only go there occasionally. For festivals she, her husband and their three kids come to Janwaar.

Earlier they used to travel by bus but now they have a motorbike. I highly appreciate when they come to Janwaar because then there is hustle and bustle at home. The kids run around and play with the local kids. The eldest grandchild is Neha and she is six years old, Mahma (Golu) is five and Bhanu is three. They are really close to me and I love them from deep down in my heart.

Govind, my son, and Asha, my youngest daughter are still single. They might get married in another two years. Govind is not married yet because he is working as an operator at Vardhman Yarns in Bhopal, the capital of Madhya Pradesh.This company is a major integrated textile producer in India. He went to work after passing 8th grade in the local government school in Janwaar.

He is contributing to the responsibilities I have at my home, which helps me a lot. He comes home for the big festivals like Holi (The Festival of Colours), Diwali (Festival of Lights) and Raksha Bandhan.Raksha means safety and bandhan means bond. Raksha Bandhan or Rakhi is an important Hindu festival, dedicated to 31

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brothers and sisters. On this auspicious day, sisters tie a thread on their brothers’ wrists and pray for his long and prosperous life.

Asha would already have been married if she had not gone to England with Ulrike, if the skatepark hadn’t come to our village. Asha talked to me and our family and finally convinced us to let her go. It was a hard time for us and a tough decision to make. All the villagers were saying bad things about her that she will get sold and so on. But I was confident and sent her so that she could see the world beyond Janwaar and learn something new. She stayed with a family, they are friends of Ulrike. Today Asha is teaching the kids in the Villa Janwaar, our community center. She is one of the directors of the Barefoot Skateboarders Organization, a charity the kids of Janwaar have founded. I am very happy to have let her go and I am proud of her.

For me it was important that my kids go to school. I wanted a better life for them, better knowledge and better understanding. I didn’t have to fight with anyone even with my husband because he agreed and we started sending our kids to the government school. We did all the work so that they were free to enjoy their 33

childhood. And yes, there is a change in their life. Looking now at them they make choices of good and bad which I had no clue of in my childhood. They are living a better life in comparison to my life and they are working to make it better as they have seen the world beyond Janwaar.

My husband and I live happily with Asha at our home.

When Asha is gone somewhere for work then we talk to her on the phone. The same we do with Govind, Sunila and our grandchildren. The house only gets crowded and lively when there is a festival. I love them a lot and it makes me really happy when I hear my kids’ names from other people for the work that they have done.

What’s next?

I am really excited about the upcoming journey to Europe. A few weeks ago I received my passport – it was a good feeling. I will travel with two other Janwaar moms - Jalsa Bai and Saiya bai. We will see what our kids have seen already. I will learn about different cultures and meet different other women there. I will see where Ulrike was born. I am sure it will be so much 34

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fun when Jalsa, Siya and I will be abroad. We are only worried about the food but we will manage... Airplanes we’ve only seen on TV and I could have never even imagined that I was going to fly one day.

The kids like you Anil, Asha and Arun who are helping the other kids and elders in many ways, are just amazing. I hope that the next generation like Kalpna, Priyanka, Poorti etc. understand and take opportunities to carry on the project. They will not only learn but they will be role models for other kids in the village and our village will automatically change. The thinking of elders like me and your mom will change. The people should allow their kids to get educated and to explore the world around them which they haven’t seen.

I wish all the best to you and to your team and of course to the upcoming generations. There will be difficulties but remember that you have the chance to drive the change in the village, not the elders.

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Thank you Lucy Pepper Bea Gschwend

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