hard tales test

Pre-Season 2009 Issue 28

Your Source For Rider Events, Schedules, Tips and Tales of the Road

Here’s some proof

Look inside for more reasons to get ready to ride in 2009

Motorcycles Supplies & Repairs

Airbrushing by Sandy www.airbrushingbysandy.com www.scardecals.com 717-941-0126

Task Productions 7616 Mud St. RR1 Grassie, Ontario L0R1M0 (905) 945-5372 www.taskproductions.ca

Hotshots Powder Coating 6246 Southwestern Bvld Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 627-2766

Tri-Cycles 2255 W. Becker Road Gowanda, NY 14070 (716) 532-9121

Hog Farm 721 Mineral Springs Road West Seneca, NY 14224 (716) 822-3227 Fax: (716) 822-0479 www.thehogfarm.com

Bertʼs Motorsports 4550 Southwestern Bvld Orchard Park, NY 14127 (716) 646-0028

Value Teck 13337 Maple Ridge Drive Alden, NY 14004 (716)-860-9388 www.valueteck.com

Left Hand liquids 17 Walnut Street Lackawanna NY 14218 716-563-3618 hey, thatʼs new... jkostoff@lefthandliquids.com

Big Edʼs 1225 Ridge Road Lackawanna, NY 14218 (716) 822-4948

Food & Drink

The Bar Bill 185 Main Street East Aurora NY 14052 716-652-7959

Ray Laks Motorsports 4304 Walden Avenue Lancaster, NY 14086 (716) 206-2400 www.raylaks.com

Buffalo Harley-Davidson South Towns 140 Mid County Road Orchard Park, NY 14127 (716) 972-1556

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World Discounts 1635 Elmwood Avenue Buffalo, NY 14207 716) 447-9066

Powered Illusions Power Coating 5972 Lakeview Terrace Lakeview, NY 14085 (716) 627-0067

Buffalo Harley-Davidson 4220 Bailey Avenue Amherst, NY 14226 (716) 832-7159 www.buffaloharley.com

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V-Twin Cycles 6929 Willams Rd. Niagara Falls, NY 14304 716-279-1444

Performance Fabrication 801 Olden Road West Falls, NY 14170

Bob Weaver MotorSports 3400 Niagara Boulevard North Tonawanda, NY 14120 (716) 693-1500 www.weaverfever.com

Cycle Dungeon 138 Miller Street North Tonawanda, NY 14120 (716) 743-8788 www.cycledungeon.com

Voz Cycle 2578 Niagara Falls Boulevard Niagara Falls, NY 14304 (716) 731-2953

Northern Lites 4845 Clifton Parkway Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 627-5760

Big Vʼs Cycle Supply 1447 Electric Avenue Lackawanna, NY 14218 (716) 826-4644

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Steveʼs Custom Cycle 6095 Robinson Road Lockport, NY 14094 (716) 625-4372

Hamburg Honda 5133 Camp Road Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 649-7669 www.hamburghonda.com

Battery Post, Inc. 4109 Saint Francis Drive Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 824-1987 Fax: (716) 834-1989

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Southside Trailers 250 Two Mile Creek Road Tonawanda, NY 14150 (716) 874-3381

Gowanda Harley Davidson 2535 Gowanda Zoar Rd. Gowanda, NY 14070 (716) 532-4584 Fax: (716) 532-5737

Amsoil Jeff Kasper 3228 Lockport Road Sanbord, NY 14132 716-216-4045 wnysynthetics@aol.com

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South Side Kustoms 146 Barnard St Buffalo, NY 14206 716-823-6279 or 1-800-675-3191 Fax: 716-823-6279

First Place Finishes 1303 Pontiac Road Evans, NY 14006 (716) 549-1544

American Harley-Davidson 1149 Erie Avenue N. Tonawanda, NY 14120 (716) 692-7200 Fax: (716) 692-6602 www.americanharleydavidson.com

Biker Tramp Wear 6888 Erie Road (Rt.5) Derby NY 14047 1-866-787-2531

South End Cycle 201 24th Street Niagara Falls, NY 14303 (716) 284-4919 (888) 324-4919

DE Twincam Performance 4170 Broadway Depew, NY 14043 (716) 684-2696 www.detwincam.com

Bubble's Q Sauce PO BOX 321 Buffalo NY 14209 716-882-1691 www.bubblesqsauce.com

Recreation parts & accessories 3662 South Park Ave. Blasdell NY 14219 716-825-744 (866) 657-5708

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SIC Choppers 1724 Military Road Tonawanda, NY 14217 (716) 352-1397

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Chef's Restaurant 291 Seneca Street Buffalo, NY 14204 (716) 856-9187

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Food & Drink

D'Arcy McGees 257 Franklin Street Buffalo, NY 14202 (716) 853-3600 www.Darcymcgeesonline.com

Roman Cafe' 797 Payne Avenue North Tonawanda, NY 14120 (716) 692-7048

Double Diamond Bar & Grill 26 Monroe Street Ellicottville, NY 14731 (716) 699-8990

Allstate Michael Dearing 2120 Niagara Falls Blvd.

Tonawanda NY 14150 716-694-9400

Varysburg Hotel 2486 Main Street Varysburg, NY 14167 (585) 535-7692

Metzgers Pub and Restaurant 4135 Seneca Street West Seneca, NY 14224 (716) 674-9897 www.mymetzgerspub.com

Tattooing

Carlʼs Tattooing Service 312 Oliver Street Tonawanda, NY 14120 (716) 695-8900

Water Valley Inn S-6656 Gowanda State Rd Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 649-9691

The Warehouse 4360 Milestrip Rd Blasdell NY 14219 (716) 823-5000

Milliganʼs Pub 3864 Abbott Road Orchard Park, NY 14127 (716) 648-9017

Buckinʼ Buffalo Saloon 294 Franklin Street Buffalo, NY 14202 (716) 653-4400 www.buckinbuffalo.com

Pop's Sports Bar & Grill 42 Carolina St. Springville, NY 14141 716-592-7676 www.popssportsbar.com

Jeffʼs Tattooing 2632 Seneca Street West Seneca, NY 14224 (716) 823-3014 www.jeffstattooing.com

Club Chit-Chat 1048 Clinton Street Buffalo, NY 14206 (716) 842-0698

Peter Kʼs Restaurant 2709 Harlem Road Cheektowaga, NY 14225 (716) 893-9229

hey, thatʼs new...

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Express Yourself Tattoos 1101 Ridge Road Lackawanna, NY 14218 (716) 822-5358 www.expressyourselftattoos.com

Clubs

Pearl Street Grill 76 Pearl Street Buffalo, NY 14202 (716) 856-2337

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Able Insurance Company 9 Area Locations (716) 634-4190 (877) 244-4190

The Pour House 23 South Buffalo Street Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 646-5011

JJʼs Grill 10806 Sisson Highway, Route 75 North Collins, NY 14111 (716) 337-2002

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Insurance

The Gray Fox Pub 246 Main Street Arcade, NY 14009 (585) 492-1483

Jimmies Pizza 43 Buffalo Street Hamburg NY14075 716-648-5017

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Nashville South Calle 5, Ave.1 y 3 San Jose, Costa Rica 506-221-7374

Tadoras Ristorante 3720 Lakeshore Road Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 822-1216 www.tadoras.com

Heenanʼs Pub 39 East Main Street Ferdonia, NY 14063 (716) 672-8777

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Mohawk Place 47 East Mohawk Place Buffalo, NY 14203 (716) 855-3931

St. James place 1531 Military Road Kenmore, NY 14217 716- 874-4122

Four Aces 3314 Lakeshore Road Blasdell, NY 14219 (716) 824-1111

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Full Throttle Saloon Sturgis, South Dakota www.fullthrottlesaloon.com

Root Five Waterfront Restaurant S-4914 Lake Shore Road Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 627-5551 Fax: (716) 627-7161

Duff's 3090 Orchard Park Road West Seneca NY 14224 716-674-7212 www.duffsfamouswings.ca

Rhinos 3700 Southwestern Blvd Orchard Park NY 14127

Club W 199 Delaware Avenue Buffalo NY 14202 (716) 840-9552 www.checkoutthew.com

Rileyʼs Street Station 27 Riley Street East Aurora, NY 14052 (716) 655-4948

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Stylin Tattooʼs 3445 Harlem Road Cheektowaga, NY 14226 (716) 836-3530

Colonie Lounge 1795 Hertel Avenue Buffalo, NY 14216 (716) 862-0987

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Attorneys

Motorcycle Riders Foundation PO Box 1808 Washington, DC 20013 (202) 546-0983 www.mrf.org

Cellino & Barnes Buffalo Office **New Address 2500 Main Place Tower 350 Main Street Buffalo, New York 14202-3725 716-854-2020 716-854-6291

Ride With Pride 6361 Meadville Road Middleport, NY 14105 (716) 542-3808

Advanced Auto Electronics 4207 Southwestern Blvd.

Hamburg, NY 14075 716-648-1358

Big D Tireʼs 107 River Road N. Tonawanda, NY 14120 716-695-8613 S-3718 Southwestern Blvd. Orchard Park, NY 14127 716-662-3038

Chiacchia & Fleming, LLP. 5113 South Park Avenue Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 648-3030 www.cf-legal.com

Color Xpress 1 Main Street Hamburg NY 14075 716-648-5478 cxpress@verizin.net

Kantor and Godwin, PLLC 5800 Main Street Williamsville, NY 14221 (716) 626-0404 (877) 752-6867 www.kantorgodwin.com

DJ Rockʼn Roll Rescue 11507 Snyder Road Springville, NY 14141 (716) 592-5166

Motor CycleRights and Safety Organizations

Niagara Motorcycle Raceway Welland County Motorcycle Club 603 Netherby Road Welland, Ontario L3B 5N7 (905) 835-2754 www.wellandmotorcycleclub.com

EB Iron Art 70 Tonawanda Street Buffalo, NY 14207 (800) 563-1794 www.ebironart.com

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Exxxtremely HOT Magazine Exxxtremelyhot.com

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Fat Jakeʼs Cigar Parlor 14 South Buffalo Street Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 646-6336

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McKinley Mall 3701 McKinley Parkway Buffalo NY 14219 (716)-824-0462

New York Rider Magazine P.O. Box 455 Central Square, NY 13036 (800) 976-0327 Newyorkrider@twcny.rr.com

Dunn Tire Raceway Park 57 Gunnville Road Lancaster, NY (716) 759-6818

American Motorcyclist Association 13515 Yarmouth Drive Pickerington, Ohio 43147 (800) 262-5646 www.AMAJoin.com

Jony James Band Rod 716-366-6254

Native Pride Smokeshop 11359 Southwestern Boulevard (RT 20) Irving, NY 14081 (716) 934-5130

Donʼs Auto Tech Service 2617 Elmwood Ave. Kenmore, NY 14217 716-874-8785

ABATE of NY, Inc. PO Box 300 Walker Valley, NY 12588 www.abateny.org Buffalo-Erie Chapter: (716) 655-6473 Monroe County Chapter: (585) 234-0895 www.abatenymonroe.org Niagara County: (716) 510-1233 www.niagara-abate.org

Impact Promotions 27 Pine Street Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 649-2128

Motorcycle Supershow Toronto International Center SUPERSHOW Events 52 Shieldmark Cres.

Thornhill, ON L3T 3T5 (905) 771-0132 Fax: (905) 771-1812

Council Opticians 5999 South Park Avenue Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 648-5761

Peter T. Juliano, Esq. North Park Building 1438 Hertel Avenue Buffalo, New York 14216 (716) 400-2082 Fax: (716)838-5525

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Hydroponics of Buffalo 1469 Hertel Avenue Buffalo, NY 14216 (716) 838-3545

Blues Bikes & Tattoos Joe “D” (Dagustine) 3559 Northcreek Run North Tonawanda, NY 14120 (716) 695-3415

Rochester Office 16 West Main Street Powers Building, Suite 600 Rochester, NY 14614 (585) 454-2020 Fax: (585) 454-3279

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Hollywood Theater P.O. Box 164 Gowanda, NY 14070 (716)-532-6103 www.hollywoodtheater.info

Misc.

Long Island Office 68 South Service Road Melville, New York 11747 Nassau County (516) 293-6060 Suffolk County (631) 293-6060 Toll Free (800) 483-2050

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Hamburg Fireplace, Inc. S-4670 Camp Road Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 649-3473 www.hamburgfireplace.com

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Misc.Continued..

PRO 2 3586 California Road Orchard Park, NY 14127 Mr. Gorham 716-667-9600 cgorham862@aol.com

Peter Kʼs Auto Sales 4438 Southwestern Boulevard Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 649-9900

Point Breeze RV Resort 9456 Lake Shore Road Angola, NY 14006 (716) 549-8917

Seneca Manufacturing 155 Rochester Street Salamanca, NY 14779 (716) 945-4401

Seneca Niagara Casino & Hotel 310 Fourth Street Niagara Falls NY 14303 716-299-1100

Seneca One Stop 11150 Route 20 Irving NY 14081 716-934-2900

Storage King 9000 Hillview Drive Clarence, NY 14013 716-983-6713

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Sticker Tech www.wnygetauto.com Alan 716-683- 6112

Six Flags Darien Lake 9993 Allegheny Rd Darien Center NY 14040 585-599-5119

Smitty's Stump Removal 716-875-0793

Southtownʼs Fireplace 4307 Camp Road Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 627-5211 Style ʻNʼ Eyes 2205 Kensington Avenue Snyder, NY 14226 (716) 632-0778

The Tax Wizard 5893 Camp Road Hamburg, NY 14075 (716) 648-2288

Thru-Air Trailers, LLC 3180 Transit Road West Seneca, NY 14224 (716) 668-4000

WM E. Forsman Tax Services 34 E. Main Street Hamburg, NY 14075 716-646-0433 txmanbill@aol.com

Soles Unlimited 26 West Main Street Gowanda, NY 14070 (716) 532-4701

Wolfʼs Run Smokeshop 12795 Rt. 438 Irving, NY 14081 (716) 532-1737

The Button Factory 2653 Ferndale Ave. Hamburg, NY 14075 716-627-5925 Voice/ Fax ButtonLady@roadrunner.com

Willey Well Drilling, Inc 12780 Schutt Road, Sardinia, NY 14134 716-492-3930 art@willeywelldrilling.com

Ta Rico Brotherʼs Construction 2660 Seneca Street West Seneca, NY 14224 (716) 828-2227

Work At Home United www.reachinggoals.org Toll Free 877-216-1940 leave code Hamburg

FLASHBACK...

Hard Tales Magazine

TM

© 2006 All rights reserved P.O. BOX 664 HAMBURG NEW YORK 14075 716-725-2745 716-648-3509

WWW.HARDTALESMAG.COM Contact HT Mag: hardtalesmag@aol.com 716-725-2745 716-648-3509 Hard Tales is a local publication dedicated to bikers, their needs and lifestyles.

Our advertisers support will keep this magazine free to the reader.

We ask our readers to patronize the Bike Friendly Businesses who advertise in Hard Tales Magazine.

All content, including but not limited to ads, graphics and editorial contained in this magazine is copyright © Hard Tales Magazine 2008.

Usage of this material, including advertisement created by Hard Tales Magazine graphics department or itʼs partners in any other publication without prior written permission is strictly prohibited.

PUBLICATION DATES Pre Season / February 1 Spring / May 1 Summer / June 15 eXpo / August 10 Fall / October 1 Christmas / November 25

Directory Daws Life Peopleʼs Choice Awards Eden High School Hogs Against Hunger Road Less Traveled Hog Farm Porn, Porn and More Porn Bell Legend Jessie James Future Events Are You a Biker?

Bubbles of Ruben Weekly Bike Nights All Fired Up w/Jack Regan Daytona Events Changing Times Indian Dealers Lone Mechanic Biker Wizdom Bartender Babes Jeff Rambles on Jokes from the Barbershop Bashin da Bills Biker Events Daveʼs Shovels

5-6-7-8 10 12 15-16 17 18-19 20-21 23 24 25 26 27 32 36 38 42 46 47 52 54 56 57 59 60 61-64 66

IT’S A DAWGS LIFE Naughty Dawg is a talented, high energy, and stylish group of musicians. Their common goal is to entertain music fans everywhere.

Pat Terry began the band in the hope of reaching larger audiences, through better use of commercial flare and appeal! Naughty Dawg is two bands in one. They can perform full nights of rock or full nights of country. They can even play a mix of both. They have recently become a triple danger by adding a whole set of funk/dance music to their repertoire. The band is composed of 6 musicians and singers who have been successfully entertaining audiences for years. Each member brings with them a unique talent and personality. Together they become one wild and crazy show! The band is based out of the Buffalo area and performs in Rochester, PA and throughout the WNY area. With a song list as extensive as theirs and the talent to match, you'll be sure to be entertained throughout the entire performance.

It doesn't get much better than that!

Pat Terry 668-0574

www.naughtydawgband.com Mention this ad and save something BIG!

Whisky: usefull if, say, you're trapped under a sofa for two days WEBART DESIGNS

WebArt Designs is owned by Jim Breidenstein.

For over 15 years we have been offering creative services specializing in advertising, graphic design, magazine and catalog layout as well as a full range of internet website development & hosting. We sometimes even add an ocassional misspelled word or 2 for a unique flavor in our work (of course we did it on purpose, what did ya think?).

Jim and WebArt Designs is also proud to be the creative source behind Hard Tales Magazine design and has been a publishing partner since the beginning.

This also explains some of the weird captions and comments found throughout the magazine (and of course the intentional spelling errors).

When Jim is not mispelling words and adding funny captions to peoples pictures, he is also the lead singer and guitarist for November 11th, a locally based, internationaly known group from WNY. (they must know someone in Canada).

Contact WebArt Designs through www.webartdesigns.com

...hey, this Jim guy seems strange..I like that!

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HHA ARRDD

T TA AL LE ES S

A pensioner who got trapped under his own sofa survived for two and a half days by drinking a conveniently-placed bottle of whisky.

Joe Galliott first became ensnared by his sofa when he tripped over a phone cord during a power cut, sending him tumbling onto the sofa. This made the sofa flip over, landing on top of him and trapping him underneath.

While he was unable to get out from under the furniture, and had no food or water, Galliott was fortunate enough to have knocked a bottle of whisky within reach of his sofa-prison as he fell.

He told The Sun: 'I didn't have the strength to shift anything. I never had anything to drink except from that bottle of whisky, and I sipped on that.'

The 65-year-old was finally rescued from his ordeal when his grandson paid him a visit and called for help. He spent five days in hospital recovering from his sofa hell.

MM A A G G A A Z Z I I N N E E

V VOOL L. .2 48

You might notice throughout this issue that there are some pics of HT

Publisher, Frank in an arm sling (see pic on left with Ruben). Well, you始ll never guess what happen. The story goes that he was cruising the streets in Florida one night when an unruley gang of Fla bikers came up behind him and started talking trash. Frank, being a man of great patience, tolerated the abuse for as long as he could until he finally had enough.

Frank pulled off to the side of the road and although he was vastly out numbered, he knew he could whoop any floridian scooter trash with the mere mention of NEW YORK STATE! The rest is a story for campfires and late night pickup lines.

Wait a minute...that始s not right, he fell down while playing tennis.

Now here始s a nice touchy-feely bunch of folks

Ruben Brown, Frank and the sling (sitting on big boy始s bike)

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People’s Choice Awards 2008 Voted by you…the readers of HARD TALES MAGAZINE

Even something as simple as this we were still left with hanging chads.

Buffalo Harley had the most combined votes for Best Motorcycle Dealer but some were Buffalo Harley and some Buffalo Harley South Towns. That leaves Gowanda Harley the undefeated champion! The Tap Room has been voted Best Bike Night 2008, so congratulations to The Lafayette Tap Room. Root five received several votes but as far as I know, Tuesday bike night will be relocated. It seems that Rt 5 is going in another direction but they are appreciative of our business and welcome us to stop in. Best Bike Shop goes to Ray Laks Honda for the second year in a row and two in a row for Best tattoo shop Express Yourself Tattoos. You voted for The Jony James Band as Best Biker Band and The Hog Farm is the Best Independent Bike Shop.

Best import went to the USMC bike. Pick up your award at Milliganʼs Pub across from The Ralph.

The distinct honor of Best Bike Builder goes to the all new Sic Choppers and Best Web Site is... who else but Cyberspokes!

Thanks to the thousands of readers who took the time to cast their ballots.

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Best Web Site: Cyberspokes

Best Tattoo Shop: Express Yourself Tattoos

Best Independent Bike Shop: The Hog Farm

Best Bike Shop: Ray Laks Honda

Best Motorcycle Dealer: Gowanda Harley

Most Radical: Jason

Best Bike Builder: Sic Choppers

Best Overall Bike: Rick Schwab

Thanks to Ruben Brown and all the bikers that participated in the McKinley Mall Bike show.

Best Bike Night: The Lafayette Tap Room

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EDEN CHOPPER CLASS #3

from Tonawanda Dave out at B.A. Enterprises, worked out some technical details for this yearʼs project. Dave and Grott have turned into our “go to” guys when we are in a jam or need a part or knowledge/experience quickly.

They help put out a lot of fires for us. Anyway, Baker Drivetrain builds the best driveline components in the business, hands down. They generously stepped in this year and set us up with a sweet 5-speed soft tail style tranny. They even installed one of their N1 shift drums, which puts neutral all the way down for the suicide/jockey shift crew. Canʼt wait to shift this billet monster! Later in the summer, Dale Snyder was kind enough to donate an exhibitor slot for the kids to dis-

edenchopperclass.com

Fall, 2008 A new school year means a brand new bike for my students to focus on and a whole new set of problems for them to solve. We have gotten off to a solid start.

Last year there were certainly a lot of growing pains associated with the development and fabrication of the Raider bike.

As a group the club/class members learned some real life lessons during the 2007/2008 build. I watched many of them grow as students and as young men and women into confident, smart and capable young adults. Who would ever think that something as simple as a motorcycle could inspire or help facilitate a change like that? Each of you reading this magazine-thatʼs who! The kids are simply young developing adults who are fostering their interest and passion for the two-wheeled machines we all crave.

The Raider bike saw many parts of the USA over the summer months. Promotion is a requirement with this type of educational project and it really helps to have people personally see what the kids are capable of so that they can appreciate their work and hopefully help us perpetuate this process. Even in the slowing economy, our goals from the promotional process were achieved. In May, the bike made a trip down to the Carolinas in order to promote at the Smoke Out East. The Smoke Out is an event that is hosted annually by The Horse Magazine. Itʼs an awesome rally if you are into old school, backstreet, choppers and rods. I discussed our project with a rep from Baker Drivetrain while at the Smoke Out. Since that time the kids and I, with some help

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play the Raider bike at the Seneca Niagara Bike Show. Vince Doll, the owner of Redneck Engineering spoke with the kids and agreed to fabricate a frame for this yearʼs scooter. When we got back to school the kids designed the frame and we sent a set of finished AutoCad drawings down to Liberty South Carolina, where Redneck Engineering is based.

Vince and his team built us one bad ass vintage rigid bobber frame.

In August the Raider bike made the trip out to Sturgis with the JayBrake crew.

Help does not adequately describe what JayBrake has done for my kids and this

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I watched many of them grow as students and as young men and women into confident, smart and capable young adults

project as a whole so I thought it might be better to simply list their 07/08 contributions: 1. Haul the bike out and back for Sturgis 2. Give me a place to crash/eat and live for ten days 3. Set the Raider bike up in front of their display at Black Hills Harley Davidson during the Sturgis rally and also down in Olean during the Rally in the Valley 4. Donate all the brake calipers/lines/fittings/hand controls and levers/foot controls and hydraulic clutch unit 5. Came in to school and spent the day helping the kids plumb and bleed the systems.

The crew at JayBrake is always there to support the kids, the program and what we are trying to accomplish. Like Baker Drivetrain, JayBrake is the industry leader in braking and clutch/primary components. People buy their products because of the superior quality, finish, and function each demonstrates. JayBrake does not assist us because they need more advertisement or PR, they do it because they believe the kids are learning some important life/technical skills that will help them throughout their lives. I recommend taking a serious look at their product line if you are in the market. You wonʼt be disappointed. We will be working with them again this year attempting to convert a bike that had drum brakes in itʼs stock configuration to a juice brake set up. Iʼm sure it will be an interesting engineering experience for my students.

While in Sturgis I also received donations on behalf of the class from Mikuni and No Magic Neon, Inc., who donated carb parts and trick custom LED lighting components respectively.

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EDEN CHOPPER con’t

I also want to recognize the following for donating exhibitospaces: 1. The guys out at DE Twin Cam during their annual party/show 2. Frank from Hard Tales during the bike show which was held at McKinley Mall 3. Grott for providing us with exhibition space during the events he hosts at the fairgrounds for the last year and a half.

The people/companies mentioned above have certainly helped us kick-start this yearʼs project, but the kids will be the ones making it happen. We have already put in some major hours after school and over Christmas break but still have a long way to go. The Eden Chopper Class website is functional and usually gets updated every two weeks. It has a lot of information and pictures that focus on what we are doing with this yearʼs bike. If all goes as planned, this yearʼs bike, as well as the Raider bike from last year, will be on display at the Spring Swap meet, April 11th in the Agricenter at the Fair Grounds. If you get a chance, stop by and talk to the kids about the bikes.

Get your bikes tuned for the upcoming season and thanks for the continued support.-Jones. www.edenchopperclass.com

The crew at JayBrake is always there to support the kids, the program and what we are trying to accomplish

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Donʼt make me eat you!

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Be part of THE NETWORK ADVERTISE in all 6 issues of HARD TALES this year Save $ Make $ Get results!

Off Season / February 1 Spring / May 1 Summer / June 15 eXpo / August 1 Fall / October 1 Holiday/ November 25

Businesses outside the motorcycle market have great success advertising in HTM. Motorcycle riders do everything everyone else does. Borrow money, buy real estate, get braces for their kids, send flowers etc. These riders are teachers, lawyers, doctors, factory workers and union members. They earn an average of $80,000 per year.

Distribution includes Western NY, Southern Ontario, Rochester, Erie Pa. and direct mail throughout the country. The magazine can also be viewed in its entirety on the Internet. This enables us to reach over 100,000 people per issue.Multiple ads PRINTED IN HIGH GLOSS! And include free directory listings We始ll work with you to create you始re own payment plan.

Advertising deadlines approximately thirty (30) days prior to publication date

716-725-2745 716-648-3509 hardtalesmag@aol.com www.hardtalesmag.com

Native Pride Travel Plaza presents 9th ANNUAL FOOD BANK OF WNY "CHOPPERS FOR CHARITY & HOGS AGAINST HUNGER" MOTORCYCLE RUN AND BIKE & CAR SHOW

Saturday, April 25, 2009 Donation: $10 for drivers; $5 for passengers Registration: 11:00am - Native Pride Travel Plaza, 11359 Southwestern Blvd., Irving Kickstands Up: 1:00pm - Police escorted bike run.

Benefit Party: 2:00- 7:00pm - Rhinoʼs Rock Club, 3700 Southwestern Blvd., Orchard Park

Get Flames, Get Fire. Purchase $350 in qualifying merchandise at Gowanda Harley-Davidson between March 1 and April 15, 2009 and receive a FREE Harley-Davidson custom grill set. This $75 value features a custom-molded Harley-Davidson exclusive grill, a set of tongs, spatula and fabric carrying bag. The grill and tools are made of heavyduty steel for a long life and feature the distinctive Bar and Shield logo. Hurry in! Offer good between 3/1/09 – 4/15/09 or while supplies last. Gowanda Harley-Davidson. 2535 Gowanda Zoar Rd. Gowanda, NY. (716) 532-4584 www.gowandaharley.com

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RAFFLE TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE FOR ONLY $5 EACH TO WIN A CUSTOMIZED 2009 HONDA REBEL! Bike from Hamburg Honda and customized by First Place Finishes and County Seats. Other prizes include a GPS! You may purchase tickets at the Food Bank of WNY, Native Pride, Rhino's, Hamburg Honda, or LINE-X. Also, look for us at events such as the upcoming Dream Toys Show! The customized Rebel is20displayed at Hamburg Honda. Check it out!

Special THANK YOU to our sponsors: Native Pride Travel Plaza, Rhino's Rock Club, LINE-X Spray On Bed Liners of WNY, Hamburg Honda, First Place Finishes, Custom Seats, Walmart.

This is a TOTAL BENEFIT for the Food Bank of WNY. Rain, Snow or Shine! Thank you for your support! For more information or if you'd like to be a volunteer, contact Bev at CFCHAH@aol.com or 716-445-4108.

The Food Bank of WNY distributes product to over 400 member agencies that feed the needy in Cattaraugus, Chautauqua, Erie, and Niagara counties. These include food pantries, soup kitchens, shelters, child & adult day cares, summer camps, snack programs, Kids Cafes and group homes. This is a TOTAL BENEFIT for the Food Bank , so your support is appreciated!

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Motorcycle & Car Show with Hard Tales Magazine on hand to pick a "Recognized Radical" award! Sponsor Awards for their picks.

Your support for this yearʼs Choppers For Charity & Hogs Against Hunger would be most appreciated. There are several ways in which you can do this: attend the event (tickets will be sold at the door for $10 each); purchase raffle tickets; donate an item for the raffle; sponsor the event; or set up a vendor table.

Choppers For Charity & Hogs Against Hunger (formerly known as "Cyberspokes Bike Run & Benefit Party") is one of the Food Bank of WNYʼs annual fundraisers which will be held on Saturday, April 25, 2009 (always held the last Saturday in April). Check us out at www.myspace.com/CFCHAH for current news!

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Mark your calendar, save the date! Get the day off work if you have to! Good people, cool music, hot bikes & cars, and a GREAT TIME! Free food, cash bar, 50/50, raffle prizes, vendors, and more! EVERYONE is welcome... bikes, cars, or your own two feet! One of the BEST PARTIES OF THE YEAR! You won't want to miss this event!

Live music by Blackest Red and The Mike Salerno Band!

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The Road [much] Less Traveled

20 questions for professional motorcycle adventurer Greg Frazier M.B.A. ʼ76, the man who, among other out-of-the-mainstream accomplishments, gave the world Motorcycle Sex: Freud Would Never Understand the Relationship Between Me and My Motorcycle as told to Ivey Slowoski Greg Frazier was well on his way up the corporate ladder when he decided to jump off and roll for a while.

The first person to complete four motorcycle trips around the world, Frazier is currently on his fifth global ride, taking a friend, 63-year-old Donna-Rae Polk, on the trip of a lifetime. Their itinerary takes them literally to the ends of the earth, the farthest points north and south on five continents that a motorcycle can travel: Deadhorse, Alaska; Ushuaia, Argentina; Cape Agulhaus, South Africa; and North Cape, Norway.

Ah, but motorcycle adventures arenʼt always wide horizons and starry skies.

Over the years Frazier says heʼs been “shot at by rebels, jailed by unfriendly authorities, bitten by snakes, run over by Pamplona bulls, and smitten by a product of Adamʼs rib.” Once, while riding through the Golden Triangle, where Burma, Laos, and Thailand all meet, he noticed snipers.

“I had been wondering why on such a perfect little road I was the only vehicle,” he says.

Often going by the moniker Dr. G, Frazier has written and photographed nine books about motorcycle travel, among them Motorcycle Sex: Freud Would Never Understand the Relationship Between Me and My Motorcycle. He regularly writes for Road Bike and Dual Sport News, and contributes to a dozen motorcycle magazines internationally. His credits include producing documentary films on traveling disparate parts of the world by motorcycle and on the vehicleʼs history.

Frazier is a Crow whose Indian name is Sun Chaser. He lives in the Big Horn Mountains of Montana on the Crow Indian reservation when heʼs not chasing the sun somewhere else. Dr. G checked in via email from a cybercafé in South America.

1. What did you do before you became a full-time motorcycle adventurer?

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I worked as a consultant, lobbyist, and corporate pooch. Suit and tie stuff, hustling $ʼs and “doing lunch.” I wrote a lot (position papers, policy analysis, and proposals).

Once sat at the cabinet table in the White House next to Jimmy Carter with seven cabinet secretaries. Couple of politicos bought me lunch downstairs afterwards.

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2. Are you able to support yourself with motorcycle adventuring?

I became a motorcycle adventurer after deciding that working in a corporate office eight to 12 hours a day was an ugly way to spend the rest of my life. While motorcycles are a hobby for many, it is my full-time profession. I eat, drink, and sleep the twowheel motorized vehicles. I am lucky to have a wide enough base in my interests in the world of motorcycles to keep my vocation from becoming boring. If I am not riding, then I can be researching, or producing a film. My motto is: I hate adventure that has anything to do with sharks or snakes.

3. What attracts you to these adventures?

The risk and my personal ability to manage risk. I would also have to throw in there that I enjoy meeting other people who share an appreciation of how movement through the environment on a motorcycle is being part of that environment, not looking at it from inside a bus or car. If it is risky, that is like adding lemon to drinking water—it gives the culture and the environment a little extra taste.

4. Does your Crow heritage have any rela-

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tionship to why you are a motorcycle adventurist?

If I had been born 100 years earlier I would be wandering North America on a horse.

Lucky for me the only thing involving horses I have to worry about is horsepower.

Every horse I have ever ridden has either tried to toss me off or take me directly back to the barn.

5. Why havenʼt more people done roundthe-world trips?

Many have, the first being an American in 1913. When I completed my first ride around the world fewer than 100 had done so. Today we estimate there are 200 on the road. Most, however, are not Americans.

As adventurers, we Americans are pretty much bunnies, afraid to go anywhere English is not spoken. And when we do, it is usually in a pack or on a group tour. I have never met another American soloing around the world while on the road, but I have met many Germans, Swiss, Australians, and British.

6. When was your first global ride?

Late 1980s. First ride off the North American continent was in 1970, when I flew to Europe and spent a month roaming around on a motorcycle.

7. How old are you?

Older than I should be, given the life I have lived.

8. How long have you been riding?

40 years, and over 1 million miles of rambling, racing, and wrenching. continues next page

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9. Do you have more than one bike?

I own several dozen motorcycles.

10. Do you have a favorite for long distance?

For long distances I like anything that does not break down, is easy to do routine maintenance on, and is comfortable. I no longer take motorcycles outside the USA that I cannot afford to lose to crashes, confiscation, or theft.

11. When did you start on the current ride with Donna-Rae and, assuming you are able to complete it, when will you finish?

Donna-Rae convinced me to come out of retirement from ʼround-the-world riding in early 2004. We made a short “test ride” to see how she and I would hold up by making a run through the Golden Triangle.

(Polk has Parkinsonʼs Disease.) We started her Riding the Dream tour in July last year by going from the Mexican border to the Arctic Ocean. From there we turned around and headed to the bottom of South America. If her physical health and my mental health hold up, we should complete our ride by June.

12. The difficulties of this trip seem legion.

Whatʼs the hardest part?

Much of the route I have covered before, however solo and faster. Where I would make 400 to 500 miles a day solo, with two of us and having to manage more weight and Donna-Raeʼs limitations, we make 250 to 300 miles for a couple of days, then rest.

The hardest part for me is accommodating the needs of my passenger. Whereas I usually skip breakfast and nibble a moving lunch, my passenger needs three meals a day for her medication. I often find myself standing around looking at the sky while she struggles with her clothing and riding gear. I also tire more easily from having to deal with the added weight on the motorcycle.

13. Where are you now?

Sunny and warm Chile, north of Santiago.

Land of good wine and lots of sand. We have been riding in one of the biggest

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deserts on the planet for days. Not sand, but rocks and small pebbles.

Nothing green and no animals. The only noise you hear at night in the desert is wind and sometimes rocks cracking or sliding. Here on the coast, I can hear waves crash all night and gulls.

14. Are the mountains in South America harder to get over than in North America , where presumably the roads are better?

There are easy rides and hard rides over both sets of mountains. In South America we have chosen the better, paved roads because our motorcycle (a 1983 Honda GL 650) is more of a road motorcycle than one made for gravel roads; the clearance is low to the ground. South America has some very good roads and some bad ones. In Bolivia, I think only 5 percent of the roads are paved. But, then, we did nearly 1,000 miles of unpaved road in Alaska, some worse than we have seen in South America.

15. Have you had trouble eating local foods?

I do not like the hot chilies, the ones that cause smoke to come out my ears. I am also not an organ eater. I was once so sick from some food in Ecuador that after three days they sent a doctor to my room. I was so weak from dehydration I could not climb off the floor and into bed. Malaria got me once and likes to return about once a year to bite me again.

16. Do you speak any languages?

Some German and Spanish, lots of Australian, New Zealander, Canadian, Bahaman, Indian (India), and British. I do know how to say “beer” and “toilet” in 24 languages. After my first trip to Germany in 1970, when very few people in Europe spoke English, I realized language would never be a barrier for me.

17. Any scary things on this trip?

A couple of times we have had to take evasive action when trucks or buses came around curves in our lane. My wallet was clipped in Cali, Colombia. I only had $10 in it, and the wallet was later found and returned, even with the credit card, which I had canceled. A pretty lady took an interest in me, nearly causing a fight. And we

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almost ran out of gas crossing the Atacama Desert, where it has not rained in about 500 years. Some bad food made me think my malaria was acting up, and bed bugs have gotten us a couple of times.

18. Are you writing a book about this ride?

No book planned. Two more already contracted in front of that possible topic.

19. Will you be doing any more global rides? How about other long-distance rides?

I will go back to places I liked, but after five rides around the world there is no reason to make a sixth. I thought I was done after four, until Donna-Rae talked me into helping her Ride the Dream.

20. Do you have a doctorate, or is Dr. Greg an honorary title?

The “Dr.” refers to a Ph.D. in economics, but I like to think I have earned an honorary degree in survival on the roads around the globe. My new book, from BowTie Press, is due out at the end of April. Titled, Riding the World: The Bikerʼs Road Map for a Seven-Continent Adventure, it is like a textbook a college prof would write on the subject in which he is an expert.

You can read more about the Riding the Dream trip as it progresses at www.ultimate globeride.com. Frazier details his other adventures as a motorcycle racer, guide, speaker, event organizer, entrepreneur, and poet at www.horizonsunlimited.com/gregfrazier.

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The Hog Farm Annual Spring Swap & Show.

Sat. April 11th 3 to 9 Agri Center Hamburg Fair For the 40th Celebration, were looking for Old - Original Choppers - Radical bikes for the Show, Were going to celebrate the 40th all Year!

Living the Lifestyle of Motorcycling

1969 • 40th Anniversary of THE HOG FARM • 2009

What are your memories (if you still have memory) from 1969?

• Scan and send your bike & hippie photos.

• Tell us your stories • Look for the 40 Year Hog Farm feature in HARD TALES Spring 2009 issue Send to info@hardtalesonline.com

New Bands Formed in 1969: Black Sabbath, Mott the Hoople, King Crimson

T.H.F. Production Events

Ride Free Guarantee. Buy a new or trade in your ʼ07, ʼ08, or ʼ09 Sportster before March 31, 2009 and we guarantee the original MSRP back on your trade-up. Special rules and restrictions apply. Visit Gowanda Harley-Davidson for complete details. 2535 Gowanda Zoar Rd. Gowanda, NY. (716) 532-4584 www.gowandaharley.com

Hog Labor Day Holiday Hogarosa

Brothers & Sister in the Wind Memorial Campout

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...um...Iʼm sorry lilʼ Ronnie but no, the elves are not Harley Davidson Certified Technicians...

Hog Farm Christmas Party Swap

“

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God. 21

NIGERIANS TAKE A STAND AGAINST NEW HELMET LAW BY WEARING FRUIT ON THEIR HEADS On January 1 of this year a new law was enacted by police in Nigeria. The law stated that everyone who drives a motorcycle, whether they are an “Okada” taxi driver or a regular biker, must wear a helmet for their safety.

Many people, like Nigerian construction workers, saw the new law as a way to make money by renting out their safety helmets for about 500 naira ($3 US) a day.

Almost everyone else thought that this new law was unfair, and they saw it as just another exercise of power executed by the corrupt Nigerian traffic police.

So what did many of these angry drivers do? Instead of buying the helmets for 800 naira (about $6 US) they put everything from pots and plates to pumpkin-sized fruit bowls known as calabashes on their heads. Apparently the Nigerian police didnʼt like people wearing fruit helmets, so they arrested 28 people in the city of Kano. The police said they gave the Nigerian public a six month heads-up to purchase helmets before the law came into play, so they are not being lenient with arrests. And they are impounding the motorcycles until the drivers purchase helmets.

But people are still refusing to buy the helmets, not only because they just canʼt afford them, but also because they believe the helmets could be laced with evil magic spells and infectious diseases.

An Old Farmer's Advice:

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Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't jus' happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen, anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

US PORN INDUSTRY SEEKS MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR BAILOUT Porn baron Larry Flynt is seeking a $5 billion bailout from Washington to rejuvenate the industry, which he says is suffering because of the economic downturn.

According to Flynt, with all this economic misery sex is the farthest thing from people's mind The Hustler magazine founder has teamed up with fellow adult entertainment mogul Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild video series, to approach Congress for the same kind of financial assistance recently approved for car manufacturers.

The pair have asked the 111th Congress, which convened on Tuesday with the economy at the top of its agenda, "to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America" with a bailout.

"Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation's most important businesses, (and) we feel we deserve the same

consideration," Francis said in a statement.

"In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment."

"The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three," Owen Moogan, a spokesman for Flynt, told CNN. "The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine." In an interview with entertainment news website TMZ, Francis admitted the move was more of a "precautionary measure" than an emergency rescue, "but as long as the government is handing out money, we want to be there to take it."

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The pair acknowledge that although DVD sales and rentals have dropped 22 per cent over the past year, online traffic has continued to grow.

"The 13-billion-dollar industry is in no fear of collapse," they say. "But why take chances?" Francis, who was last year freed from almost a year in jail after pleading no contest to child abuse and prostitution charges in a plea deal, told CNN they planned to deliver the request "to our congressmen and (Secretary of the Treasury Henry) Paulson" by the end of Wednesday.

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind," Flynt said in a statement. People were "too depressed to be sexually active", which was "very unhealthy as a nation.

Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex."

He said the only way Congress could "rejuvenate" America's sexual appetite was "by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

There was no response from Congress to the request.

“ with all this

economic misery sex is the farthest thing from people's mind �

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THE LEGEND OF THE BELL

Have you noticed that small bell on some peopleʼs bikes and wondered why it was there? Itʼs more than just a decoration, it has a specific function.

As we all know life has many mysteries that have no apparent solutions. One of these is Evil Road Sprits.

They are the gremlins that live on your bike. They LOVE to ride. Theyʼre also responsible for most of your bikeʼs problems. Sometimes your turn signals refuse to work, or the battery goes dead, the clutch needs adjustment, or any of several hundred other things go wrong. These problems are caused by Evil Road Spirits.

Road Spirits canʼt live in the presence of a bell. They get trapped in the hollow of the bell. Among other things, their hearing is supersensitive. The constant ringing of the bell and the confined space drives them insane.

They lose their grip and eventually fall to the roadway.

(Have you ever wondered how potholes are formed?)

The bell has served its purpose.

If you have picked up a bell of your own, the magic will work. But if your bell is given to you, the power of it is doubled and you know that somewhere you have a special friend helping to look after you.

So, if you have a friend that doesnʼt have a bell, why not be the person to give them one? The bell along with a good preventative maintenance program will eliminate evil road spirits.

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Want to get your poster noticed? Have a sad and injured fellow stand there while a pretty girl holds it up. (Hey you read it didnʼt ya?)

Get your business profile in the next issue of Hard Tales.

Itʼs quick, cheap and an easy way to noticed!

Contact Hard Tales for more information G

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JAMES TO RISK LIFE & LIMB IN SPIKE TV SHOW.

California - Jesse James broke two ribs, chipped his elbow and was set on fire during the filming of his new reality series "Jesse James Is a Dead Man," yet he says his wife, actress Sandra Bullock, is still supportive.

"She loves it," James told TV writers Friday. "She tells me every day to go out and a break a leg."

James, a custom motorcycle and car builder who gained notoriety with his Discovery Channel shows "Motorcycle Mania" and "Monster Garage," has teamed up with Spike TV for 10 one-hour episodes of death-defying challenges.

He'll ride a motorcycle in minus-60-degree temperatures across the Arctic's Ice Highway, flip trucks after driving them through a field of land mines and hit over 200 mph on a Nitro bike running on ultra-combustible nitromethane fuel. "Dead Man" premieres May 31.

James says one of his earliest memories as a kid was jumping off the roof of his house, pretending to be a stunt man.

"I think for some people, driving on the 405 [in Los Angeles] is like the biggest thrill they ever get in life,"

James said. "Life is only a one-lap race, so I want to do everything on that lap to see what it's like."

The 39-year-old James says he didn't expect to make it past 35, so, as he puts it, he's running on "overtime."

Though James is putting his life on the line in every episode, he swears he doesn't have a death wish - just a need for speed.

"Having a death wish is like being that guy who wants to bury himself under 10,000 pounds of dirt in a glass casket. That's just dumb. That can't be thrilling," said James.

"Being an adrenaline junkie is just racing and going fast and doing stuff that could kill you, and a lot of people get killed doing it, but here we're kind of putting the danger right out in the open."

James says the show isn't all doom and gloom.

"I'm hilarious to myself, but some people just think I'm an a-hole," he said.

"I hope it comes off lighthearted. I hate those shows like David Blaine's where it's like, 'Oh my God, he's hanging upside down.' I'd rather take something super-dangerous and make a joke about it than make a big deal out of something that isn't even a big deal."

Get your clicker finger ready, the brand new Hard Tales Magazine website is launching soon.

WWW.HARDTALESONLINE.COM sisters...but itʼs still gonna be crazy cool!

Hardtalesonline.com will feature lots of pics, videos, helpful tips, local and national events as well as news and articles submitted by you, the readers.

We have opportunities for you speak your views and opinions with regular blogs and stories submitted by the awesome Hard Tales Magazine readership.

It’s been a long time coming but soon the whole internet will be shaking with the thunderous roar of the newest and coolest website developed specifically for the Great American Biker!

Ok, so it might not shake the entire world and will of course also feature something for our Canadian biker brothers and H

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Let us know if you want to play an active part of this new community of writers and weʼll show E

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you how easy join in the fun.

We will also have a special money saving section that will always have a whole bunch of special offers only available to hardtalesmag.com visitors. Any advertisers who want to be part of this, contact us asap so you can be part of the Big Launch!

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future events It is important to set your event date ASAP. This will discourage the scheduling of conflicting events. New event dates are chosen based on the strength of previously scheduled events.

April 25, 2009 Ray Laks MotorsportsSpring open house- food, prizes, and give aways. For more info call 716-206-2400 May 24, 2009 - 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM American Legion Riders 2nd Annual Bike Blessing American Legion Post #362, Center St., East Aurora, NY Benefit Mercy Flight - Donation $5.00/Rider or $7.00/Rider & Passenger 716-652-9862 or LegionRidersEA@aol.com

June 28, 2009 -2nd Annual American Red Cross Bike Run 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM sign in American Red Cross Bldg on Delaware Ave After run party 716-652-7081 or LegionRidersEA@aol.com July 18, 2009 - Saturday -1st Annual Veteran's Orphaned Children Scholarship Run 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM Sign In ast Aurora American Legion Post #362 Run Route, & After-run party -716652-7081 or LegionRidersEA@aol.com

July 24, 25, 2009 Support OUR Troops Rally Hosted by: New York PGR & Sponsored by local American Legions, VFWs, AMVETS, Cuba Fire Dept, Blue Star Mothers, and others.

Cuba N.Y. - Firemanʼs Park (Rt. 86, Exit 28, west on Center St. - next to McDonalds)

FRIDAY July 24 4:00 PM Park Opens, Camping Available….(Tent or RV) Food & Refreshments, Vendors, Displays 7:00 PM - Live Music……..

Food & Refreshments Meet & Greet, “Get Together” & Camp Fire

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SATURDAY July 25 7:00 -10:00 AM Breakfast - Cuba American Legion Post # 655 (Legion is located at center of town, public parking around corner) 8:00 – 11:00 AM Registration Displays, Chinese Auction, Vendors 10:15 AM Guest Speakers 11:00 Noon Depart on Dice Run (motorcycle & legal vehicles) 4:00 PM FIRM Last arrival at Firemanʼs Park (turn in scorecard) Music (DJ Brent) Food & Refreshments, Vendors 4:30-5:00 AWARDS - Dice Run Winners, 50/50 Raffle, Door Prizes, Auction Winners, Closing Remarks Proceeds to Benefit - Returning Warriors and their Families For information on DONATING, VENDOR OPPORTUNITIES, SPONSORSHIP Please Contact: John at jlafever1@verizon.net, or 585-9683622 For information on the PGR: PGRNY.org or Patriotguard.org

August 14-16 Buffalo Niagara Thunder 6th Annual Front Park Porter Rd and NY190 National Music ActsContests Tuner, Muscle Cars, Custom Bike and tattoo Contest

August 15, 2009 - 2nd Annual East Aurora Legion Riders Fun Run Riding to Celebrate with Aging Military Veterans To Benefit the V.A. State Nursing Home in Batavia Registration 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM, Kickstands up at 12:45 PM Legion Post #362 Center St., East Aurora, NY $15/bike or $20 w/passenger - Food, music, beverages, door prizes, Chinese auction, money raffle drawing, rider pins --- Ride to Batavia and party there with the vets, then ride back and party again 652-7081 or 652-9862 or LegionRidersEA@aol.com

August 22, 2009 Springville Travelers 75th Anniversary Springville Travelers Club Houser 14340 Scoby Hill Road & Rt. 219 Starts @ 3:00 For more info call: 716-803-4009 / 597-8872

Saturday August 29, 2009 - Rock N' Blues Bike Blast 2009 - Sponsored by

DE Twincam Performance.

This is the biggest motorcycle and car show in Buffalo, LIVE music all day long. Miss Rock N' Blues 2009 up-for-grabs.

Big Money for the winner. Big Horse Power Contest on DE Twincam Performance Dyno! A portion of all proceeds to Benefit the Depew & Lancaster Boys & Girls Club. Vending is free! For more info contact David Esford at 716-684-2696 or detwincam@roadrunner.com Time: 2:00pm 11:00pm. Place: Bowen Road Grove, 3937 Bowen Road, Lancaster, New York 14086

Sept. 19 (9/19/09) Goodyear/Dunlop Tires NA Ltd. will hold our third annual "Ride for Charity" The dice run will start at the Tire Manufacturing Plant.

New this year, we will have a golf outing on the 11th and party afterwards in Sheridan Park with food, beverages, and live music. All proceeds from the two day event will be donated to Make-A-Wish of Western NY and Roswell Park Cancer Institute.

More info to come.

September 26, 2009 Ray Laks Motorsports Fall Open house at the dealership food prizes and give aways. For more info call 716-2062400

The 2009 Hard Tales eXpo Saturday September 19th Rain Date Sunday September 20th Dougʼs Dive 1111 Furman Blvd.

Buffalo NY @ The Small Boat Harbor

You know you’re a biker when‌

Your girl asks you if you can move the bike so she can watch the tv better You had to borrow a helmet to take a girl for a ride on your bike around the block from the bar and hit every bump in the road. (Remember the G string on the blonde) You ever bought saddlebags so you can carry more beer.

Your girl follows you to the party with the car so you can take more beer.

Your best friends are named after animals.

Taking your girl on a cruise means puttin down the highway.

Your best shoes have steel toes.

You quit your job to go to Daytona.

You have motorcycle parts in the dishwasher.

Your idea of jewelry is chains & barbwire You have your bike torn apart in your living room.

Sturgis is your dream vacation.

You name your bike "Shania."

The plumber won't come back to replace the heater till you roll those damn bikes to the other end of the basement & drain the gas out of them so he can weld the pipes.

You can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste of them.

You're only sunburned on the back of your hands.

You carry around a crushed beer can in the case of soft tar when you park the bike.

You know from painful experience why you don't carry your wallet in your back pocket.

You pull your bike into the motel room & use a bath towel to wipe it off.

Return home from a long run & pass right by your house.

Your girl friend has to climb over the bike to do the laundry in the basement.

You think God invented winter so you can get the bike ready for Daytona.

You know how many teeth are on your rear sprocket & how much torque to use on your head bolts.

You started a BBQ with a welding torch.

You carry a picture of your bike in your wallet.

Any day you ride is a good day.

Your other vehicle is a truck with motorcycle ramps in it.

You get hit by a Taxi in N.Y.C., slide 80 yards & ride the bike home 30 miles with a fractured hip.

You don't think its a good party till someone rides his or her bike in & does doughnuts in the living room.

Your three piece suit are Chaps, Leather Vests & a Leather Jacket.

You have a refrigerator in your garage just for beer.

You wake up next to your girl & your first thought is if your bike will start.

Your kids learn to ride on the back of your bike before they can walk.

Your garage has more square footage than your house.

Your coffee table collapses from the weight of motorcycle magazines on it.

You throw a party and more bikes show up than cars.

Your kids take a motorcycle chain to Show & Tell.

All your ashtrays are pistons from your last engine rebuild.

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New York - The confiscation provision in a City Council bill drew a backlash of protest e-mails from motorcyclists and biker advocacy groups to the City Council members sponsoring it.

The guys in the band November 11th have been busy this winter expanding their musical capability with the addition of a couple new members and seeking out a few more as well.

We are currently searching for a skilled drummer/percussionist with solid timing and a dedication to the enjoyment of the performance and not only the financial gains.

We are also considering an addition of keyboards.

November 11th is a collection of experienced musicians &

friends striving not for perfection but for musical excellence.

If you are interested, or for booking information please contact Jim @ 674-0870 or email jim@webartdesigns.com

After the Daily News published an article on the bill last month, scores of bikers complained they were being singled out for harsh punishment. Why should motorcycles be seized for making noise, while cars and trucks are not, they asked. The bikers picked up a potent ally in Councilman Leroy Comrie (D-Queens), the deputy majority leader, who pushed for changes in the legislation.

He said that most motorcyclists are law-abiding and shouldn't be penalized for the too-noisy few. Comrie and Councilman Peter Vallone Jr. (DQueens), whose Public Safety Committee has jurisdiction over the bill, said Tuesday that Council lawyers and staffers have conferred on the bill with motorcycle activists.

The bike confiscation provision is likely to be changed to make it applicable only after a third violation, rather than after a second, as in the original bill, said Vallone. A vote had been expected this week, but it has now put off until a final version of the bill is produced and another public hearing is held, according to Vallone.

Backers of the original bill said many New Yorkers are fed up with improperly muffled motorcycles that disregard the 80-decibel limit in the city's noise code.

They said current enforcement methods haven't worked because they require cops to be present to hear the noise or to monitor it with noise meters.

Also, police officials testified that chasing noisy motorcycles poses public safety problems. The bill would have allowed cops to ticket a stopped or parked motorcycle if it didn't bear a tag stating it meets noise-control standards set by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. Motorcycles made after 1986 are required to bear the appropriate EPA tags at time of sale, and replacements parts are also required to have the right EPA tags.

Bikers contend that not all manufacturers use the EPA tags.

They also assert that loud pipes help save lives - theirs and those of other motorists and pedestrians.

Love to Ride? Share the excitement by giving a GIFT CERTIFICATE! Good for any occasion and any amount. Call for Details.

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MAKE YOUR OWN AD

$50 off

any Purchase from the great folks at Fill in the information above and take it to your choice of business and give it to the clerk and say“If you had an ad in Hard Tales Magazine, Iʼd be buying something right now!”

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Right of Passage

by The Ironhorse Writer "So your a Biker? don't get uptight.

Just an 'ol man jaw'n, ain't lookin' to fight."

"If ya don't mind me sayin, that's one fancy hog.

Say, ain't it one of them, computerized jobs?"

"Fuel injection?, stereo too?

Where'd ya keep the bed?, ahhh, just messin' with you."

"'Spose it breaks down, and your all alone.

Do ya whip out a tool pouch?, or a cellular phone?"

"I used to putt, those days are through.

Now'days I wrench, gives me somethin' to do."

"That's when startin' a hog, took a good, firm kick.

When brotherhood, wasn't some fancy clique."

"Colors were somethin', you lived righteously by.

Not a fashion statement, to catch one's eye."

"Freedom wasn't a logo, that cost ya twenty grand.

It's fire-in up your very first scoot, settin' your last kickstand."

"Now'days, it's no big deal, riders everywhere you look.

I ain't sayin we blazed the trail, but we sure as hell wrote the book!"

"Hey...didn't mean to bend your ear, know ya wanna go.

Before ya split, just one more thing, somethin' ya ought to know."

"A "Bikers" not just ownin' a hog, anyone can play the part.

It comes from inside, ya live for the ride, mind, soul, heart."

"Ride safe kid."

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now hereʼs something nobodysʼ see in a while.

If you pretend you like us, we’ll pretend we like you.

If you would like to have your picture in Hard Tales Magazine, you have to show us that youʼve actually seen it and maybe even read it!

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Ya got Bubble始s...Ya got no troubles

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Ruben Brown at 2008 Hard Tales Bike Show at McKinley Mall

WEEKLY BIKE NIGHTS 2009

THURSDAY

BIKE NIGHT at CLUB W 199 Delaware Ave. Buffalo Right after Thursday in the Square!

Contests / Prizes / Drink Specials / GOOD LIVE BANDS and South Side Kustoms http://www.checkoutthew.com/

MONDAY

Rhinos Monday Bike Night is Back!

3700 Southwestern Blvd. Orchard Park NY 14127

Cigar Party Colonie Lounge every 2nd Monday of each month Smoken hot babes

Sunday

Sunday Rides leave from CLUB W 199 Delaware Ave. Buffalo

Biker Church Mondays - year 'round at 7pm. Tonawanda free Methodist Church 207 Grove St. Tonawanda, NY 14150. For more info contact Rev Tony Fischer 716-627-3213 or Don Mohr 716-695-2789 Harley Lu yaw

Milliganís Pub 3864 Abbott Road, Orchard Park, NY 716-648-9017 Bikes & Blues, 3:00 PM. Across from Bills Stadium

Metzgerís Pub and Restaurant 4135 Seneca Street West Seneca, NY 14224 10 Cent wings

Q: Why isnʼt My Bike Night Listed?

A: Because you didnʼt send it in Sent your events directly to us at info@hardtalesonline.com

The Varysburg Hotel 2486 Route 20A. Varysburg A Traditional Sunday Ride

TUESDAY

Dougʼs Dive Tuesday Bikes, Boats, Blues & Bikinis Route 5 Tuesday Bike Night lives on 1111 Furman Blvd. Buffalo @ The Small Boat Harbor The traditional Lake Erie Rt.5 bike night continues Same lake, the areaʼs Best Bands, Bike Show, Boat Show, Great Food & Bill Simms. New award categories every week: Best Paint, Chrome, import, antique bike, antique boat, biggest vessel, tallest mast, salty dog & more.

Caution: Pirate Alert Home of the 2009 Hard Tales eXop

Look for a complete list in the Spring 09 Issue (hopefully including your bike night)

WEDNESDAY

SHREDD & RAGAN CRUISE NIGHTS EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT With "Grudge Racing" (see how fast your car or bike can go down the Drag Strip!)

Est. 1890

Daily Lunch & Dinner Specials Homemade Soups & Deserts Private Parties Take-Outs Welcome

Get 10% off your total bill with this ad.

Not valid with any other offers.

Not valid on Fridays Expires 04-15-09

BIKER RUNS WELCOME

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I guess we'll start out the New Year with one of my favorite people, New York State Governor David Patterson. If you don't follow all this neat stuff from the State, let me give you a couple of tidbits. The State is basically going in the tank, and the governor is coming up with all kinds of neat, and "original" ideas to fix it up for us. Just add a couple of taxes and "fees", and everything will be all better again. A grand total of only 150 or so of these add ons. That is in addition to everything else that is already taxed. Maybe he should just come out with a list of 2 or 3 things that good 'ol NYS doesn't tax to make it easier on himself.

Then he comes up with this little diddy.

Raise the "income" for welfare, take away finger printing for welfare and Medicaid and get rid of 3,000 state workers. Cause they (the workers) cost too much. Great plan there buddy. That should keep the fraud, double dippers and people flooding into EmpireStateville for free stuff to a minimum.. You can't make this stiff up. He wants to tax regular Pepsi, 26 cents a 2 liter bottle, because it makes us fat. Diet Pepsi stays the same, cause it's good for us. Last time I checked, this is not Communist China we live in. If we want regular soda, that is our right. We don’t need Big brother telling us what to eat, when to eat it and where.

Talk about neat thinking. The Department of Environmental Conservation came up with this brainstorm. They have decided that it would be a great idea to put a $175.00 fee on every cow in the country. Yes, a tax on cows. Seems that the cow's shit emits methane gas, and with the cash they get from the already staggering farm industry, would help with the environment or whatever.

Guess that is the true meaning of the term "cash cow".

Guess horses and then you and I are next.

On one of my recent TV flipping nights, I came across Jay Leno on the Tonight Show. That dialog he does, ouch. He's terrible at cue card reading. Might as well just sit at his desk, get comfortable and just read it from a sheet of paper. Now I hear he's leaving for a 10:00 time slot. I know the perfect guy for his replacement. Me. I can read

the card as well as him? Somebody out there know any big shots at NBC to put in a good word for me.

Then I came across that MMA cage stuff where two guys’ get the ring and try to basically kill each other? This stuff is legal? And I thought boxing was kinda nutty.

Speaking of nutty, What's up with Black Friday? You know, that great shopping tradition where you get to the mall at 2a.m. and stand in the snow, rain or whatever for a couple hours to get a cheap flat screen TV real cheap? Well, they had a great time in New Jersey this year. Seem the people who were waiting in line for hours, got over ran by people who didn't wait at all, and the poor guy opening up the doors got trampled and unfortunately died of his injuries. Then the idiots wouldn't leave the store, just keep on shopping. Sounds like great fun.

Was out to beautiful downtown Eden the other day with former Mayor Hermdog, and stopped in Carl's Barber shop.

A real barber shop. No uni-sex solon, man-a-cure's or any of that other b.s. Just a plain ol' barber shop where Carl cuts your hair. With sports magazines to read to boot. How cool. Rumor has it Floyd the barber from the Andy Griffith Show make's a guest appearance every other Friday.

Okay, gotta go back a little to a pair of my famous predictions. One good, the other, ahhhh. Ok, the good one first.

I said in a previous article that the Buffalo Bill's in Toronto may not really be good idea because Torontonians may just like the Miami Dolphin's better. Well, with the sight of the Dolphin players exiting the field to a legion of fans catching wrist bands from their heros, kinda gave it away. Bad idea.

My prediction those same Bill's would make the playoff's.

Well, at 4-0 then 5-1, and being a season ticket holder since 1981, I am allowed to jump on the bandwagon any time I want. And then let the Bills toss me off right on my head, again. Oh well. Always next year.

Again, ride that bad boy like you STOLE it!

I WANT ONE

Top 3 Most Expensive Motorcycles in the World.

Not all motorcycles are dirt cheap Chinese cruisers with the performance of a three wheel bicycle.

The top 3 most expensive motorcycles in world are anything but dirt cheap. If you want one of those, you better start saving now. Every single one of them cost more than $100,000.

The cheapest one in the top 3 is the MV Agusta F4 1100 CC. Lots of power, 195 mph top speed and a great design for just $135,000.

MV Agusta F4 1100 CC

MTT Turbine Superbike Second is the MTT Turbine Superbike. $185,000 will give you one of these. It comes with a RollsRoyce turbine engine that was designed to lift a helicopter. The engine gives you 300+ hp to play with and a top speed of 227 mph.

MTT Turbine Superbike

According to Guinness Word Records, the MTT Turbine Superbike is the most powerful production motorcycle ever.

It is even more powerful than the Ducati Desmosedici RR, which I believed was the fastest production motorcycle in the world.Still, I始m not sure if I will consider it a normal motorcycle or not. It is the only motorcycle I have ever seen with a turbine engine.

Dodge Tomahawk The most expensive motorcycle in the world is the Dodge Tomahawk.

Production was limited to just ten models and they retailed at $550,000 each! The Dodge Tomahawk has the honor of being the fastest motorcycle ever (419 mph), but it isn始t street legal.

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”

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield

“

Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

- Phyllis Diller By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go any where. - Billy Crystal

The 2009 Hard Tales eXpo Saturday September 19th Rain Date Sunday September 20th Dougʼs Dive 1111 Furman Blvd. Buffalo NY @ The Small Boat Harbor

Rock and Roll to the Rescue DJ and MC Sound System Providing Quality Sound and Music for over 10 years.

Playing music from the 50's-60's-70's80's-90's-Today's music.

Country-Rock-Oldies-StandardsModern We do Weddings-Parties-Events-Bike and Car Shows...and more Contact: Rick Manzone 716-240-6700 www.rockandrolltotherescue.com

www.hardtalesonline.com www.hardtalesonline.com

Hard Tales Magazine’s Official DJ Service

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New York City Council Pulls Motorcycle Noise Bill

Late last week the New York City Council Committee on Public Safety held a hearing on Introduction No. 416 A titled; "A Local Law to amend the administrative code of the city of New York, in relation to prohibiting the parking of motorcycles equipped with straight pipes on the streets of the city of New York."

This bill gives law enforcement the ability to issue fines of $1000 and temporary impoundment for the first infraction and a fine of $2500 and permanent forfeiture of motorcycles with out EPA approved or stock exhaust pipes. The committee, Chaired by council member Peter Vallone a democrat from Queens, did vote in favor of the bill which sent it on to be considered by the full council on week later.

The Motorcycle Riders Foundation is pleased to report that for now the bill has been pulled from the schedule for December 18th, when it was to be voted upon by the full council.

The MRF thanks Speaker Christine Quinn for realizing that this issue requires much more than one week worth of consideration.

"This legislation raises far more problems than it solves" said Jeff Hennie vice president of government relations for the Motorcycle Riders Foundation. "What about older bikes that predate the 1979 clean air act or motorcycles from neighboring states, just to name a few?" he added.

The Council will be entering the 4th and last year of the current 4 year session. So this bill is still live and could be considered at any point during the 2009 calendar year.

The issue of motorcycle sound can be controversial and is certainly one of the most complicated of all issues related to motorcycles.

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2009 Daytona Beach BIKE WEEK EVENTS SCHEDULE Friday February 27 to Sunday March 8

Events are listed as either “Bar” or “Non Bar”: Remember the best part of Daytona is hanging out with people and bike watching. Hardtales readers are probably not interested in most of the “Non Bar” events, and the “Bar” events you can figure out for yourself anyway. But, if you really need more details, contact the Daytona Beach Area Convention & Visitors Bureau, toll free at (866) 296-8969 or email info@Bikerbeach.com for details.

Main Street / Beachside - Central

NON BAR EVENTS: Main Street Rally - This popular biker street hosts vendors, live entertainment, food, fun and more.

Info: Main Street Merchants Entertainment (386) 252-1922 or (386) 255-9525.

Historic Pinewood Cemetery - Sale of Pinewood Cemetery t-shirts. Tour of cemetery for charity donation.

Info: (386) 255-6171. Corner of Main Street and Peninsula Drive, Daytona Beach.

Harley-Davidson Expo - 10AM to 5PM. Ocean Center Arena: New product show, Willie G. and H.O.G. & Co. merchandise, womenʼs interactive area, Ford H-D FSeries display & seminars. Ocean Center East Plaza & H-D Festival Stage: Traveling museum, Ford adventure simulator, B.O.S.S., Ball of Steel Stunt Show.

Info: (386) 254-4500. Ocean Center, 100 North Atlantic Avenue, Daytona Beach.

18th Annual Boardwalk Classic Ride-In Show - Friday March 6th - Registration from 8AM to 11AM; show begins at 11AM; awards at 4PM. Cash prizes & trophies. Enter Boardwalk from Main Street and Ocean Avenue.

Info: (386) 253-0254.

Daytona Beach Community Foundation Motorcycle Drawing - Saturday March 7th.

Official custom motorcycle drawing at approximately 3PM at the Bandshell behind the Hilton at Ocean Walk. You do not need to be present to win. Ten additional prizes valued at $200 or more will be given away.

Info: (386) 255-0981..

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Forever More Weddings - Get married at Bike Week! Marriages performed daily starting at NOON in a white tent chapel overlooking the beach. Marriage license required. If you take the good reverend up on this one, please email your wedding photos to info@hardtalesonline.com and hardtalesmag@aol.com just to be sure.

We will definitely put your wedding announcement in the mag.

Info: Rev. Carole (386) 848-6394. 831 East International Speedway Blvd. Beach Ramp, Daytona Beach.

BAR/FOOD EVENTS: Froggyʼs Saloon - Live music day and night, souvenirs and more. Open 7AM to 3AM. Info: (386) 254-8808. 800 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Dirty Harryʼs - KGB, Avarice, Kid Ridlyn, Trans-Ams will perform on the Outdoor Stage throughout the week. Contests led

by Cowboy at 2:00, 3:30, 5:00 and 7:00 PM. T-shirts, souvenirs and more. No cover.

Info: (386) 252-9877. 705 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Bank & Blues Club - Enjoy Rockabilly of the Ages with The Razorbacks headlining nightly at 10PM, including Mike Dugan & Blues Mission, all in a historic bank building. No cover.

Info: (386) 252-9877. 701 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Full Moon Saloon - Inside Stage: featuring The Trunk Band and Rebel Pride. Outside Stage: featuring Money Shot, Disposable Heroes, Trans-Ams, Sixty Watt Sun, Scott Yvonne and more. No cover.

Info: (386) 253-1944. 700 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Wise Guys Watering Hole - best view of this popular street from the balcony.

Info: (386) 253-8251. 415 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Cruisin Café - Open daily from 9AM to 2:30AM. Live bands daily, souvenirs, tshirts and more.

Info: (386) 253-5522. 2 South Atlantic Avenue, Daytona Beach

Ocean Deck Restaurant & Beach Club Reggae Beach Bash with oceanfront views. Live music nightly.

Info: (386) 253-5224. 127 South Ocean Avenue, Daytona Beach.

Beachside - South

BAR/FOOD EVENTS: Inlet Harbor Restaurant - Live music daily: 1PM to 6PM - Ruben Curatas playing New Age Flamenco & Classic Rock Guitar; 7PM to 11PM - The Bobby Friss Band. Open 11AM with biker specials, souvenirs and t-shirts.

Info: (386) 767-5590. 133 Inlet Harbor Road, Ponce Inlet.

Down The Hatch Seafood Company Llive entertainment daily and vendors on a heated deck bar over the river. Scenic views and fresh seafood.

Info: (386) 761-4831. 4894 Front Street, Ponce Inlet.

Racingʼs North Turn Beach Bar & Grille Live entertainment daily, promotional events and great oceanfront views.

Info: (386) 322-3258. 4511 South Atlantic Avenue, Ponce Inlet.

Beach Street / Mainland - Central

NON BAR EVENTS: Official Bike Week Welcome Center - Pick up the Official Pocket Guide and 2009 Bike Week poster.

Info: (386) 255-0981. Riverfront Park, Downtown, Daytona Beach.

Main Street Station Restaurant & Saloon Daily activities, food, fun and more.

Info: (386) 248-0085. 316 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Daytona Harley-Davidson Dealership Outside vendors, all motorcycle related products, leather goods, clothing, chrome, fun and more. Open 8AM to 8PM. Info: (386) 253-2453. 290 North Beach Street, Daytona Beach.

Gillyʼs Pub 44 Riverfront - Live entertainment from 11AM to 2AM. Contests, prizes and more. Right on the water.

Info: (386) 226-3000. 115 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Second Avenue Merchants Association Live entertainment, vendors, unique food, BBQ, bike show.

Info: (386) 253-1067. Mary McLeod Bethune Blvd., Historic District, Daytona Beach.

Boot Hill Saloon - Live entertainment, contests and more daily. Vendors and lots of fun.

Info: (386) 257-2007. 310 Main Street, Daytona Beach.

Barneyʼs Leather - Vendors, t-shirts and more.

Info: (386) 252-7770. 438 North Beach Street, Daytona Beach.

DAYTONA CONʼT...

Daytona International Speedway & Surrounding Area

NON BAR EVENTS: Daytona International Speedway - Test ride the latest and greatest motorcycles with free manufacturer demo rides. Vendors, manufacturer displays and free infield access to Pro Builders Row. Riders must hold a valid motorcycle driverʼs license and DOT approved helmet in order to participate in the demo rides.

Info: (800) PITSHOP. 1801 West International Speedway Blvd., Daytona Beach.

Harley-Davidson and Buell Demo Rides - 9AM to 4PM. Riders must hold a valid motorcycle driverʼs license and DOT approved helmet in order to participate in the demo rides.

Daytona International Speedway, 1801 West International Speedway Blvd., Daytona Beach. www.BikerBeach.com The 68th Daytona 200 by Honda - Friday March 6th - the prestigious season opening event to the AMA Pro Racing season and the most historic motorcycle event in America, will be held under the lights for the first time. Tickets for all races are available at the speedway box office or by calling (800) PITSHOP. 1801 West International Speedway Blvd., Daytona Beach.

Daytona Supercross by Honda - Saturday March 7th - Americaʼs toughest and most demanding Supercross event.

Tickets for all races are available at the speedway box office or by calling (800) PITSHOP. 1801 West International Speedway Blvd., Daytona Beach.

Destination Daytona / North Ormond Beach

NON BAR EVENTS: Bruce Rossmeyerʼs Daytona Harley-Davidson at Destination Daytona - More than 80 of the industryʼs top vendors and custom bike builders will be on hand. Live music daily in front of Saints & Sinners Pub. Info: (386) 671-7100. 1635 North U.S. Hwy.1, Ormond Beach.

Arlen Ness Custom Motorcycles - Outside vendors, all motorcycle related products, t-shirts, trailer sales, custom bikes & choppers and more.

Info: (386) 271-1981. 1647 North U.S. Hwy. 1, Ormond Beach.

J&P Cycles - Thousands of aftermarket parts and accessories available, vendors on site. Open 9AM to 8PM. Info: (800) 397-4844. Located at Destination Daytona, Ormond Beach.

BAR/FOOD EVENTS: The Battlegrounds - Across from Destination Daytona. Live music, vendors, contests and fun.

Info: (440) 371-0404. 1644 North U.S. Hwy. 1. Ormond Beach.

Iron Horse Saloon - Live entertainment, vendors, burn out pit, Wall of Death Thrill Show and more.

Info: (386) 677-1550. 1068 North U.S. Hwy. 1, Ormond Beach.

Broken Spokes - Live bands: 2/27 - 1PM to 6PM: Laura Lynn & Lucas Hoge, 7PM to 12AM: Anthony Wild. 2/28 1PM to 6PM: Laura Lynn & Lucas Hoge, 7PM to 12AM: Anthony Wild. 3/1 - 1PM to 6PM: Laura Lynn & Lucas Hoge, 7PM to 12AM: Tost. 3/2 - 1PM to 6PM : Joel Pingetore and the Playground of Sound, 7PM to 12AM: Laura Lynn & Lucas Hope. 3/3 - 1PM to 6PM: Joe Santana, 7PM to 12AM:Jasmine Cain. 3/4 - 11:30AM to 3PM: Blue 88, 3PM to 4:30PM: Lucky Dare Devil Thrill Show, 5:30PM to 3PM to

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DAYTONA CONʼT...9:30PM:Jasmine Cain, 10:30PM to 12AM: Aultimate Ozzy - Tribute to Ozzy Ozborne. 3/5 - 1:30AM to 3PM: Farrell Webber, 3PM to 4:30PM: Lucky Dare Devil Thrill Show, 5:30 to 9:30: Toyz, 10:30 to 12AM: Kentucky HeadHunter. 3/6 11:30AM to 3PM: Toyz, 3PM to 4:30PM: Lucky Dare Devil Thrill Show, 5:30 to 6:30PM: 7 Bridges Road - Tribute to the Eagles, 7PM to 8PM: Houses of the Holy - Tribute to Led Zeplin, 8:30PM to 9:30PM: Farrell Webber, 10:30PM to 12AM: Black Foot. 3/7 11:30AM to 3PM: Toyz, 3PM to 4:30PM: Lucky Dare Devil Thrill Show, 5:30PM to 6:30PM: 7 Bridges Road - Tribute to the Eagles, 7PM to 8PM: Houses of the Holy - Tribute to Led Zeplin, 8:30PM to 9:30PM: Farrell Webber, 10:30PM to 12AM: Aultimate Ozzy - Tribute to Ozzy Ozborne. Free bike parking. 1151 North U.S. Hwy. 1, Ormond Beach.

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED 2009: Do you like to meet people, have fun AND help out a great cause?

Are you looking for some riding buddies?

The Food Bank Motorcycle Run Committee 2009 is looking for new members NOW!

The planning and promoting for next year's event has already started and your help is desperately needed to make 2009 BIGGER and BETTER than ever before! Be part of history!

No event planning experience necessary! Reliability and honesty are more important!

Each month, 91,000 hungry Western New Yorkers turn to soup kitchens, food pantries, and other emergency food providers -- 40% are children! The Food Bank of WNY is a nonprofit clearinghouse for food solicited from the private sector. The Food Bank distributes product to approximately 500 charitable programs that feed the needy in Cattaraugus, Chautauqua, Erie and Niagara Counties. These include food pantries, soup kitchens, emergency shelters, day care centers, senior citizen programs, and residential and day programs for the handicapped, youth and those undergoing drug and alcohol rehabilitation.

For most Western New York bikers, April is the official start of the warmer Motorcycle Riding Season! Unfortunately, this year an increasing number of individuals will be standing in line at soup kitchens and food pantries instead. The Food Bank receives most of its donations during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season, so an April event like "Choppers for Charity & Hogs Against Hunger" really helps at a time when donations are traditionally at a dangerous low point If you are interested in joining the committee and/or helping out IN ANY WAY please contact Lori Stachowiak at 716-8521305 or development@foodbankwny.org.

U.S. Mail Address is: 91 Holt St Buffalo, NY 14206

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Finneganʼs Tavern - Contests and live music. Open 2PM to 11 PM daily.

Info: (386) 672-6323. 1105 North U.S. Hwy. 1, Ormond Beach.

Hang Dawg Saloon at Biker Haven - Live music, bike wash, fire show, fire dancing and bike photos daily.

Info: (386) 672-4627. 1065 North U.S. Hwy. 1, Ormond Beach.

Smileyʼs Tap Room - World famous BBQ, music, contests, vendors and nightly bon-fires. 3/1: 34th Annual Pig Roast.

Info: (386) 677-9609. 1161 North U.S. Hwy.1, Ormond Beach.

Saddle Jacks Bar & Grill - Live entertainment daily, Mechanical Bull, DJʼs and Emceeʼs, games and prizes.

Info: (386) 615-8511. 1545 U.S. Hwy. 1, Ormond Beach.

South Ormond Beach / Holly Hill

NON BAR EVENTS: Carlʼs Speed Shop - Authorized Big Dog dealer; Harley Performance Center; Computerized Dyno jet 250i dynamometer installations of power commanders. Accessories and hi-performance parts, clothing and apparel.

Info: (386) 258-3777. 1050 South Nova Road, Holly Hill.

Bikers for First Amendment Rights - Live entertainment, BBQ, bike wash and secure motorcycle parking.

Info: (386) 253-3993. 144 Ridgewood Avenue, Holly Hill.

Daytona Beach / South Daytona

NON BAR EVENTS: Motorcycles for Women. Free gourmet coffee and chair massages daily during Bike Week!

Info: (386) 255-7527. 897 Bellevue Avenue, Daytona Beach.

Millers Custom Parts - Biker specials, exhaust installation and lots of vendors/ Info: (386) 761-0858. 1863 South Ridgewood Avenue, South Daytona.

Sunshine Park Vendor Expo. - Sunshine Park Mall. Free admission. Vendors with Trikes, trailers, electronics, clothing, lights, pin-stripping, tires and more.

Info: (386) 677-6749. 2400 South Ridgewood Avenue, South Daytona.

American Legion Post 270 “Legion Riders” - Music, backyard BBQ and horseshoes. Veteranʼs social gathering, all Veterans welcome. 10AM to 12AM. Info: (386) 788-6800. 119 Howes Street, Port Orange.

DAYTONA CONʼT...American Legion Post 361 - Music and more!

Veteranʼs social gathering, all Veterans welcome. 10AM to 12AM. Info: (386) 760-3887. 2648 South Ridgewood Avenue, South Daytona.

Black Hillʼs Saloon - Live entertainment, t-shirts, contests & more.

Info: (386) 322-3234. 5005 South Ridgewood Avenue, Port Orange.

First Turn Steakhouse & Sports Lounge - Where locals meet at the Tiki bar. Live rock & roll bands. No Cover.

Info: (386) 788-5434. 5236 South Ridgewood Avenue, Port Orange.

Last Resort Bar - Music and vendors.

Info: (386) 761-5147. 5812 Ridgewood Avenue, Port Orange.

New Smyrna Beach / Edgewater

NON BAR EVENTS: Gold Wing Getaway Vendor Show - Pin stripping, air brush artists, leathers, tires, chrome, accessories and more.

Sponsored by GWRRA Daytona Beach Race Wings. Open 9AM to 5PM. Info: (386) 427-5169. New Smyrna Beach Airport, Ridgewood Avenue, New Smyrna Beach.

New Smyrna Harley-Davidson - Come party with Harley in New Smyrna! Vendors, food and fun.

Info: (386) 409-3034. 1899 State Road 44, New Smyrna Beach.

BAR/FOOD EVENTS: JBʼs Fish Camp - Rustic dining on the river with live entertainment nightly. Key West style sunsets.

Info: (386) 427-5747. 859 Pompano Avenue, New Smyrna Beach (beachside).

Gillyʼs Pub 44 - Blow out party everyday! Live bands 11AM to 2AM, including national recording artists. Vendors, contests, prizes and giveaways all day everyday. Hasta Luego Party on 3/8 with a biker breakfast from 8AM to 11AM. Info: (386) 428-6523. 1889 State Road 44, New Smyrna Beach.

Sopotnicks Cabbage Patch - Entertainment, fun and contests.

3/4: Coleslaw Wrestling.

Info: (386) 428-5459. 549 Tomoka Farms Road, Samsula.

www.cyberspokes.com

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THE TIMES, THEY ARE A CHANGIN’

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

THEN•1958- Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

NOW•2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

THEN•1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.

Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

NOW•2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.

Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

THEN•1958 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.

Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

NOW•2008 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

THEN•1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

NOW•2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.

Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.

State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused her-self and their dad goes to prison.

Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Ruben Brown Christmas shopping at the McKinley Mall (man, they got everything there donʼt they?)

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

THEN•1958 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

NOW•2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.

Car searched for drugs and weapons.

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Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

THEN•1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

THEN•2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.

Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that knowing English as a requirement for graduation is racist.

ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.

Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

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Indian Motorcycle opens first 7 dealerships.

US Nationwide - The long-anticipated introduction of the all-new 2009 Indian Chief motorcycle has arrived.

After almost five years of investment, product development, testing, and dealer development, Indian Motorcycle is pleased to announce that the first shipment of limited production 2009 Indian Chiefs has been shipped to seven dealerships across the nation.

Indian Motorcycle accessories, apparel and gifts are also available.

Founded in 1901, the legendary Indian brand remains America's first motorcycle. Chairman Stephen Julius and President Steve Heese have orchestrated the re-launch of Indian. Under General Manager Chris Bernauer, the Indian Motorcycle team has delivered a line of powerful machines that are worthy of the Indian Motorcycle name.

Stephen Julius said the following in response to this remarkable achievement "We have reached an incredible milestone in the history of Indian Motorcycle. Indian Motorcycle is once again a premium motorcycle manufacturer dedicated to engineering and styling excellence. We have assembled a dynamic team, developed an outstanding product, and are

selling motorcycles in beautifully branded Indian showrooms."

At present, Indian Motorcycle dealers are open for business in Charlotte, N.C., Paducah, Ky., Omaha, Neb., Detroit, Mich., Phoenix, Ariz., Wichita, Kan., and Pittsburgh, Pa. Many more dealerships will be opening in top markets by July of 2009. Production of the 2009 Indian Chief is limited to 750 units. You can also see the Indian Motorcycle event truck, entire line up of motorcycles, accessories, and apparel at Daytona Bike Week this spring.

For more information on the motorcycles, dealership openings, apparel, and events visit www.indianmotorcycle.com

Iʼm not gonna look...Iʼm not gonna look...Iʼm not gonna look...Iʼm not gonna look...Iʼm not gonna look...Iʼm not gonna look...

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Raise the roof for the Bills!

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Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

�

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caf feine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine

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THE JOB - URINE TEST

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their butt, doing drugs, while I work. . . .

Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could title that program, “Urine or You're Out�.

Cigar Party Colonie Lounge every 2nd Monday of each month 50

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Harleys began in 1972, when he began fooling around with them as a young auto mechanic. Since 1959, they had gained a reputation for being cheap, though hard to keep running.

Policemen were given the opportunity to buy their bikes from the department for less than $40 as the pool of roughly 2,000 Harleys at the time of the revolution slowly dwindled. Far more common were Sergio Morales working on the engine of an old Harley-Davidson the East German motorcycle in his dining room, where he does most of his restoration MZs. work. “These engines are practically immortal,” he says.

“At first, we realized we just

By JOSHUA ROBINSON Published: January 8, 2009 needed them to get around,” Mr. Morales HAVANA — Sergio Moralesʼs friends gensaid of the Harleys. “We couldnʼt buy MZs tly rib him about the dirt under his finger— you had to be a student — and we didnails and the grease that fills every line in nʼt have any dough. Then we got to liking his 58-year-old hands. The grease has them because they were tough bikes. been there so long, they tell him, that it Even without new parts, we figured out must predate Fidel Castroʼs revolution. how to make But Mr. Morales has heard all the jokes, Mr. Morales is the the old ones and not a single one makes him look up last.” last mechanic from his work.

Picking up He just shifts his cigarette from one side here making his tips from a of his mouth to the other as his fingers few old living by fixing twist and carress the tools in front of him, mechanics granting new life to one of the few Harleythem the old-fashwho had once Davidson motorcycles that remain in ioned Cuban way, worked for Cuba. Like Mr. Morales, and possibly the Harleygunk on his hands, they too predate the with homemade Davidson in 1959 revolution. parts to preserve Cuba and Mr. Morales is the last mechanic here fashioning his a nugget of making his living by fixing them the oldown spare fashioned Cuban way, with homemade Americana in the parts to preserve a nugget of Americana in parts from bits of the cheap alleys of Havana. the alleys of Havana.

CommunistHarleys are believed to have arrived in built cars around Cuba, Mr. Morales Cuba as early as the 1920s, according to Martin Jack Rosenblum, the former histori- began to learn his way around Harleys the way others learned musical instruments. an of the Harley-Davidson Motor “It must have been the only country in the Company. Durable and powerful, they became standard issue for the military and world where poor people could buy Harleys,” Mr. Morales said. the police. But after the revolution — and But the first Harley he bought was not one the United States trade embargo that foleverybody could afford. He found a 1946 lowed — the supply of Harleys and parts Knucklehead Servicar. Servicars, originally dried up. Soon, most of the bikes fell into used by repairmen for house calls, were disrepair or were smuggled out of Cuba. fitted with three wheels and a small box Today, Mr. Morales said, there are fewer on the back for carrying parts and tools. than 100 here. Cared for properly, howevMr. Morales had to have it but, because it er, the old Harleys will last seemingly forwas in excellent condition, spent not $40 ever. but $1,200, which amounted to six “These engines are practically immortal,” Mr. Morales said, adding that rebuilding an monthsʼ salary for him at the time.

“In Cuba, itʼs an entirely different relationengine takes him between one and two ship,” Mr. Rosenblum said. “Itʼs not about years, given the need to fashion his own the fine art worship of the machine as a parts. Mr. Moralesʼs own love affair with

For a Lone Mechanic, Cuba Is Still Hog Heaven Havana Journal

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rolling sculpture, but a reverence for the bike as something cool and something useful.”

There are so few 1946 Knuckleheads in working condition in the United States today, it is hard to say what one would sell for. Any surviving bikes would most likely be ensconced in a museum, Mr. Rosenblum said. Mr. Moralesʼs Knucklehead currently sits outside his house on cinder blocks — he was repairing the wheels — providing some shade for a dog. He said it would be back on the road soon, running as well as ever, with the name Super Abuela, or Super Grandmother.

Of course, Super Abuela has had a touch of cosmetic surgery. Mr. Morales once fitted the box with a pair of small benches so that he could transport his family — two in front and six in the back.

“If you did that in the U.S., my God,” Mr. Rosenblum said, laughing, “Collectors would hunt you down and flagellate you.”

Mr. Moralesʼs personal bike is a 1950 Panhead, christened El Indio, which he bought in 1986 for $1,000 after selling his 1945 Flathead. The bike, which would easily fetch $10,000 in the United States today, still carries nearly all of its original parts. The wheels, though, are borrowed from a Skoda — the Czech automobile.

Mr. Morales even fitted the bike with a sidecar, lifting the chassis from a Soviet Ural sidecar and designing a homemade copy of a Harley body.

El Indio lives in Mr. Moralesʼs dining room.

A small grease-splattered room with double doors that open directly into the street, it is where Mr. Morales does most of his work, squatting on a short stool and surrounded by parts, some original, many homemade. He wheels his bikes in and out onto the bumpy gravel outside while his wife steps over and around the nine engines around the room. “Itʼs how weʼve been living for 36 years,” she said, shrugging. On the walls, Mr. Morales has American flags, a few motorcycle association plaques and a large plate that reads, “God created the world in seven days, and on the eighth, he created HarleyDavidson.” He acquired most of the memorabilia in the last two decades, after the cold war began to thaw out. When information from the West began to trickle in around 1990, Mr. Morales was able to get his hands on a Harley-Davidson repair manual. They were the first instructions on Harley care he had ever seen in writing.

“We learned a lot of important technical things,” Mr. Morales said. “But we had already learned pretty much everything just from doing it.”

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Japanese Biker Loses Leg… and Doesnʼt Notice A Japanese biker was riding his motorcycle through a curve in the road and was unable to maintain control hitting a safety barrier.

The pain was excruciating for the 54 year-old office worker but not enough to halt his scenic ride just west of Hamamatsu, Japan.

It wasnʼt until over a mile later, when he stopped, that he realized his leg was missing below the knee. Luckily the guys friend had witnessed the accident and was able to recover the severed leg.

The injured man and his leg were taken to the hospital but the leg was badly crushed.

The New York State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Buffalo.

For the first offense, they give you two Buffalo Bills tickets.

If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Oma's Guest Haus 3691Sixth Street Woodlawn, NY 716-825-1660 www.omasguesthaus.com

Experience Oma's Guest Haus, located in the charming Woodlawn District, just minutes from the edge of Downtown Buffalo. Your Innkeepers, Denise and Karl, offer gracious accommodations and down home hospitality.

As you enter the grounds, you are surrounded by lush greenery, and welcomed onto the front porch.

Inside the main house, a muraled hallway, key doorways, spacious rooms, and fine furnishings tell you this is no ordinary house. You can enjoy relaxing in the beautiful parlor or wander the area and discover the beauty that dominates Woodlawn

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Biker Wizdom

Jeff Monhiem and Ruben Brown waiting for Santa at the McKinley Mall (I think Ruben spotted him).

Ruben posing for a picture with another famous local celebrity.

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KEEP READING FREE-PLEASE SUPPORT OUR ADVERTISERS

Rules of the road, rules of thumb, whatever you want to call it, here are some bits of quotes and wisdom.

Midnight Bugs taste Best Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

Wear Heavy Boots. You can't kick things when you're wearin' sneakers NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench If you're a complainer, ride at the back of the pack so you won't contaminate the rest of the group.

Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.

The size of the PISTON don't tell you nothin' about the DEPTH of the stroke.

Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.

You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than two fingers on the front brake.

Routine maintenance should never be neglected It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.

The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

Never be afraid to slow down.

Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.

Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.

If it take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.

Anything that shows up on more than 2 bikes is a FAD. Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you rode in on.

Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.

Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.

The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.

Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.

Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.

If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals.

You may even have to shave.

Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.

Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.

Never mistake Horsepower for staying power.

A good rider has balance, judgement, and good timing. So does a good lover.

A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.

Never do less then Forty miles before breakfast.

If you don't ride in the rain-you don't ride.

A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.

Respect the person who has seen the Dark side of motorcycling and lived.

Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of wrenches, and a roll of toilet paper.

Never offer to fight an OLD geezer. If you win, there's NO glory. If you Lose, your reputation is shot.

A good wrench will let you watch without charging you for it.

Advice is free and worth every penny.

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.

Always back your scoot into the curband sit where you can see it.

Work to ride-Ride to work.

Whatever it is, its better in the wind.

Two lane blacktop isn't a highway-its an attitude.

When you look down the road, it seems to never end-but you better believe it does.

A biker can smell a party 5,000 miles away.

Winter is Natures way of telling you to polish.

A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.

People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.

More races were won in the tavern than on the track.

Never loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's.

If the bike ain't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.

Biker Wizdom

Motorcycling is a giant game of Mines Bigger than yours!

Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on seperate bikes.

Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.

Good coffee should be indistinquishable from 50 weight motor oil.

The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.

Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.

The twisties-not the superslabs-seperate the bikers from the squids.

Beware the biker whose ink peels off.

New leather don't smell right.

When you're riding lead--don't spit.

If you really want to know what's going on, watch whats happening at least 5 cars ahead.

Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.

If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.

Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.

A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.

If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.

The thicker your oil, the hotter you can

take it.

Catchin a June bug @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.

If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.

There始s something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.

You can always hear a classic open primary-it sounds like $1.34 in change is loose in the friction plates.

Hunger can make even roadkill taste good.

You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling, and dumb enough to think the games important.

Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're goin'.

If you leave without one of your group, you better hope he doesn't catch up at the next stop.

Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.

Practice wrenching on your own bike.

Everyone crashes. Some get back on.

Some don't. Some can't.

Three things can't be trusted: a fart, a cook, and a rear view mirror.

Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down.

Some bikes run on 99-octane ego.

Owning 2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.

You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike. Don't do it and she'll love you even more.

Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.

Don't lean on the horn 'til you're out of dan-

ger. Then blast it for all you're worth.

Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.

A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of gasoline.

If the countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.

If you can't get it goin with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.

If you ride like there's no tomorrow-there won't be.

Bikes parked out front mean good chickenfried steak inside.

If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain, you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.

Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.

There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. there are NO old, drunk bikers.

We don't need no steenkin' weekend warriors.

Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go down.

The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.

Always replace the cheapest parts first.

You can forget what you do for a livin when your knees are in the breeze.

No matter what marque you ride, it's all the same wind.

It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run. One is not more important than the other

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Bartend er Babes Photo by Jeff Monhiem Photography

Itʼs good to be the Photographer

Jill and Holly @ Pops

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Buckinʼ Buffalo Saloon

Jeff, and the Girls that want him!

Pam & Karen @ Tailgaters

Butterfly Bar

Hard Tails

We Need Some Hot Models that want to be Rich & Famous!

You know who you are!

Hard Tales Magazine is looking for some enthusiastic ladies to help photograph the cool custom motorcycles created by the incredible craftsmen of WNY. We are featuring many new bikes in upcoming issues and also creating posters and other Don’t y! promotions.

Be Sh This is a good opportunity to help build your portfolio (or at least, have a great time).

We will supply our professional photographer, Jeff Monheim to ensure a great shoot!

Appointments are nessasary so email Hardtalesmag@aol.com or give us call at 716725-2745 and let us know you are interested.

Meet the Photographer Jeff “Doc” Monheim is our largest contributer of photos for Hard Tales Magazine. We have a new feature called Bartender Babes and would like your help suggesting your personal favorite. Email us at hardtalesmag@aol.com and let us know where we can find your favorite and Jeff will setup a time to come and take some shots in time for our next issue. Help keep the Bartender Babe Series alive! Send in your favorite Bartender suggestions to Hardtales Magazine today.

Have your Favorite Bartender Autograph your Hardtales Magazine!!

This will nearly double the magazine’s Cover Price!

Hard Tales Photographer Jeff "Doc" Monheim, Ramblin’ On! Hello, and the how the hell are ya doin???

I am freezing my ass off as I am writing this article, as it is January 17, 2009, and the temp outside has not seen double digits on the positive side of "0" degrees F, in the last four days! Bike riding in Western NY has come to a Frozen Halt! So lets see what have I been doing to keep myself occupied since the last Issue of HardTales came out in Dec. Well going back to the end of November, Grot and Ruth from the Hog Farm had their Annual Holiday Swap at the Agra Center in the Erie County, Fair Grounds. What A Great time to catch up with all your friends before the Holiday Rush!

Then comes the seemingly never ending Christmas Party's! By the way, I did get a Great Christmas Gift this year! After I totaled my car at Watkins Glen on the Nascar Track in Sept., I as lucky enough to pick up another "Snake Skin Green" 2009 Viper (only

20 made in this color for 2009) and it showed up December 29th. THANK YOU SANTA!!

I must say we do know how to have a Great time in Western NY. I bet the Southern States don't have half the Good Times we do each winter! We celebrate our asses off with every change of the season. We move from outside parties to inside parties, we don't get bored, and loose interest, we adapt to the situation and PARTY ON.

Next, New Years comes along (again more partying to be done) and it it is now 2009. I thought 2000 was just last year!! Where does all the time go!

So now I am thinking that I need a little Motorcycle "FIX" so I headed to Toronto for the Motorcycle Super Show, almost 500,000 sq. feet of whatever you want in motorcycles, and some hot models to warm away those winter chills too! So now I am thinking what is coming up in the Near future.

You can find a listing of Future Biker Event in the back of every issue of Hardtales Magazine, and or go online with Cyberspokes.com and find

things to do there, two great sources of free info for all! Next, Super Bowl Parties will be here before this issues comes out and again with all the PARTIES! With all tis talk of parting, has anyone heard of the Liquor companies having a tough time in this economy, I think not! When times get tough, the down trodden go drinking!

If the banks are going to foreclose on your house anyway, I would not bother making another payment. Your credit is going to be shot no mater what you do now, and do you know how much alcohol you can buy with just one months mortgage payment, now that would be another great big (OK lets all say this together) "PARTY". There is no denying, that when you are TRULY, Shit Faced Drunk, you know Three Sheets to the Wind, and when you think that, Jose, and Jack and Old John Walker, are real people and they are the only friends names you can remember, you don't care if you have a house, a job or good credit.

You just kneel down, as the sun is coming up, at the porcelain alter and start praying that you NEVER sober

up enough to realize that you really screwed up AGAIN, and that you want your house, and job back. However when you do sober up you will make it through these tough times, and with your best friends to help you out, you be riding again this summer. Just one more note about parties. I heard last night at a Buffalo Jill Fund Raiser, that Jimmy Van Zant, iscoming back to, Club Paradise in February on Friday the 13th. The last time I saw him

there it as one Great Big PARTY!!!!

See you there.

Please drive or Ride Safe until I see you again, Jeff For all your Photography needs call Jeff Monheim Photography 716-861-0747 57

Looks like Rob Ray talked his way into another shot with a movie starlet.

is that Bubble始s Q Sauce? I loved that guy that in Forest Gump!

Here is Rob Ray again with another celebrity

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The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: 'd ad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away a nd leave me alone.'

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his butt.

A cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Saratoga, Wyoming. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?' The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili back into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and obser ved her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my son-in-law.'

ESTATE PLANNING Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.'

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

FACT 98% of all drivers freak out when they hit ice the other 2% are from upstate NY and the say "hold my beer and watch this!"

THE VIBRATOR As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'

Irish Alzheimer Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him.

Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

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and said, 'Murphy, ‘ I am so glad you decided to come to Mass, what made you come?'

Murphy said, ‘ I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, Imisplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn come to church every Sunday I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat.'

The priest said, 'Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?'

When in Eden Stop by Murphy said, 992-3121 ‘ well, “we trim beards” after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’ t need to steal McGlynn's hat.'

The priest gave Murphy a bigsmile and said; “after I talked about 'Thou Shall Not Steal' you decided you would rather do without your hat than Burn in Hell, right?'

Murphy shook his head and said, 'No, Father, after you talked about 'Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery’ I remembered where I left me hat.

Carl the Barberʼs

© Hard Tales Magazine

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BASHIN’ DA BILLS It’s Fun & It’s Easy!

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Buffalo Bills Q. What do the Buffalo Bills and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."

Q. How do you keep a Buffalo Bill out of your yard?

A. Put up a goal post.

Q. What do you call a Buffalo Bill with a Super Bowl ring?

A. A thief.

Q. What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many Buffalo Bills does it take to win a Super Bowl?

A. Nobody knows and we may never find out!

Q. What do the Bills and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

www.hogsonthehighseas.com

KISS THIS SPOT GOODBYE

this was a great place for your ad.

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February Motorcycle Events

Sunday February 1, 2009 - Beat The Winter Blues Swap Meet - The Antique Motorcycle Club Of America's Sandbar Chapter Presents the Beat The Winter Blues Swap Meet. Motorcycle Parts and related items. From new & shiny to old & rusty. Come find that last part you need to finish that winter project!

Food & Drink by the Ridge Fire Department. For more info contact Mudfish 631-395-5382, Charlie Bailey 631-727-5975 or Don Spence 631476-9390.

Time: 10:00am - 3:00pm Place: Ridge Fire Department 20 Francis Mooney Drive Ridge, New York Cost: $5.00 Children Under 16 FREE!

Saturday February 7, 2009 - ABATE of Buffalo Erie Newsletter Party American Bikers Aimed Toward Education. Live music! Food, drink, 50/50, door prizes and lots of fun!

More details to be announced.

Donations needed! Help support your RIGHT TO RIDE and fight cabin fever at the same time! American Bikers Aimed Toward Education - Dedicated to Freedom of The Road. ABATE is a not-for-profit corporation formed to promote and protect the interests of motorcyclists. We monitor and interact with the legislative process, enhancing the image of motorcycling, and provide educational and social opportunities for member and non-members.

For details call Roz at 716-462-8982.

Time: TBA Place: VFW Post 8113 "Chicken Coop" 299 Leydecker Road West Seneca, New York 14221 Saturday February 7, 2009 - 7th Annual Heartbreakers Ball - Bishops MC of New York presents it's 7th Annual Heartbreakers Ball.

Food, Live Music, and the time of your life! For more info call 845-2279704. Flyer

Time: 6:00pm - 10:00pm Place: Huntington Ale House 198 Route 216 Stormville, New York 12582 Cost: $20 per person or $30 a couple.

February 7-8, 2009 - Syracuse Super Cycle Swap 2009 - The Largest Motorcycle Showcase & Swap Meet under one roof in the Northeast! Featuring Flatheads & Knuckles. Door Prizes and cash awards for custom bikes. For more info call 315-472-7931 Time: Saturday - 11:00am - 6:00pm Sunday - Noon - 5:00pm Place: Progress Building New York State Fairgrounds Syracuse, New York

February 7-8, 2009 - Crotona Midnight Run 2009 - This is the original Midnight Timed Run which was started by the Crotona Motorcycle Club in 1911. 1999 was our first year hosting this event, and it was a great success. It is a simple timed run that is a major challenge due to the fact it is run at night in February. A timed run is an event that requires entrants to maintain a prescribed speed over each section of the route. Open to all riders. 91st Anniversary

February 7-9, 2009 - Easyriders 9th Annual V-Twin Expo - This annual two-wheeled trade show was created exclusively for V-Twin motorcycle dealers. Over 400 exhibitors represent the cream of the crop among manufacturers and distributors alike. The V-Twin Expo is attended by over 10,000 industry professionals and is thought of as the ultimate motorcycle trade show! VTwin industry awards of excellence are also presented by Easyriders.

Reception with cocktails, free food and the hottest party in the industry.

Register to win a $7,500 TP Engineering 121 Cubic Inch Motor!

This event is not open to the general public. You MUST be a bona fide motorcycle retailer, manufacturer, or member of the press. For more info

call 866-427-7583 or 952-443-4168.

Place: Duke Energy Center (Exhibit Hall A, B & C) 525 Elm Street Cincinnati, OH 45202

Sunday February 8, 2009 - Cabin Fever Party - Hells Angels MC, Long Island presents their annual Cabin Fever Dinner Party. Get out of the house and join them for an afternoon of Music, Food, and FUN! For more information visit http://www.hamcli.com Time: 12:00 Noon Place: Kings Club 1702 Middle Country Rd Centereach, New York Cost: $10 @ the door.

February 14-15, 2009 - Pre-Daytona Boogie Motorcycle Show & Swap Meet - New & Used Motorcycles, Parts & Accessories, Leather, Jewelry, Crafts, Tattoos, Live Music, Etc. For more info call 1-807-863-4295 or email odypro@yahoo.com Time: 11:00am - 5:00pm Place: The Washington Avenue Armory 195 Washington Avenue Albany, New York Cost: Admission is $12.00. Children 15 & Under Free

Saturday February 21, 2009 - ABATE of Niagara Snowball Bash - Bash includes includes a buffet dinner, 2-hour open bar, and live music.

The party is hosted by ABATE of New York, The Niagara Chapter. Come meet and party with the members who fight for your motorcycle rights.

Party info: Call Joe D at 716-6953415 Send check or money order to: Joe Dagustine, 3559 Northcreek Run, North Tonawanda, NY 14120 Time: 7:30pm Place: JT Wheatfields Restaurant 6935 Ward Road Niagara Falls, New York Cost: $25 per person

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Saturday February 21, 2009 Springville Travelers M.C. Open House The Springville Travelers Club was established on May 5, 1934 and continues to grow with each passing year.

Today, the club offers a variety of fun motorcycle events for everyone to enjoy. Poker Runs, Bike Shows, Field Meets, Chili Runs and more! We始re a family oriented club and we have both men and women as members. No Guns, No Drugs, No Attitudes, No Pets. For more info call the Springville Travelers MC at 716-803-4009 or 716-597-8872.

Time: 8:00pm Place: Springville Travelers Clubhouse 14340 Scoby Hill Road Springville, New York 14141 Sunday February 22, 2009 - 5th Annual Chili Cook-Off & Pool Tournament - ABATE of Onondaga presents their 5th Annual Chilli Cook-Off & Pool Tournament. Prizes for the Best Chilli!

For more info contact ABATE HQ (315) 849-5410 or (315) 455-1073 "Let Those That Ride Decide" ABATE WANTS YOU!! Fight for your motorcycle rights... before they're gone...

Time: 10:00am Sign-In. Tournament Starts at Noon Place: The Loop Grill 1114 Wolf Street Syracuse, NY Cost: $10 for Pool Tournament, $2 For Chili Contest

Feb. 27 - March 1, 2009 Dream Toys Show Dream Toys for Girls & Boys!

Featuring WWE Diva Dawn Marie, Buffalo Sabres, Buffalo Bills, Live Concerts, Swap and Flea Rooms, Wrestling Match, Classic Cars & Hot Rods, Custom Motorcycles Show & Contest, Performance Bikes & Tuner Cars, Outdoor Recreation, Hunting & Fishing, Music, Jewelry, National Leather Vendors and much much more! For more info call 716-444-2810.

Time: TBA Place: WNY Event Centre 11163 Main Street Clarence, NY

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February 27 - March 8th 2009 Daytona Bike Week - Celebrating 67 Years!! World始s Largest Motorcycle event!

March Motorcycle Events

Leathernecks Cabin Fever Party Check Back for more info

March 6-8, 2009 - 16th Annual Cavalcade of Cars & Bikes Show and Cruise News presents the 16th Annual Cavalcade of Cars along with the 7th Annual Pinstripers Convention. Rods, Customs, Classics, Motorcycles, Custom Tuners, Race Prepared, Pinstriping on the premises and Vendors. Watch some of the country's best Pinstripers, Letterers and Automotive Artists ply their skills on almost anything you can imagine. If you can carry it into the show, these guys can stripe, letter or flame it. These artists all donate their time and talents to benefit the charity.

A portion of the proceeds to benefit The Center for Handicapped Children.

Tickets available at Buffalo Harley Davidson. For more info call 716-6569734 or 716-649-3900.

Place: Agri-Center Building (Hamburg Fairgrounds )5820 South Park Avenue Hamburg, New York 14075

Saturday March 14, 2009 - ABATE of Onondaga County's Cabin Fever Party- Fun, Food, Prizes, and more!

For more info contact ABATE HQ (315) 849-5410 or (315) 455-1073 "Let Those That Ride Decide" ABATE WANTS YOU!! Fight for your motorcycle rights... before they're gone...

Time: 11:00am Place: The Loop Grill 1114 Wolf Street Syracuse, New York Cost: FREE!!

March 20-22, 2009 - Dream Toys Show - Exotic Fashion Show, Tattoo Contest. Live Music, Vendors, Beer, Food, Bikes, Muscle Cars, Hotrods and much more!!

Place: McKinley Mall 3701 McKinley Parkway Buffalo, NY 14219

Saturday March 21, 2009 - Springville Travelers M.C. Open House

March 28 - 29, 2009 - 28th Annual National Motorcycle Show - Toronto's largest springtime motorcycle show and sale returns to Exhibition Place in downtown Toronto.

Over 200 exhibitor selling tons of new and used bikes, parts, accessories, riding apparel and more at great prices. Ridering training, insurance, charity rides and fun rides - get all your information here. The Canadian National Bike Builders Showcase, where the best custom and vintage motorcycles are on display competing for over $15,000 in cash and awards.

Giant used bike lot and motorcycle auction, where privately owned bikes for sale. Auction held at 12 noon Sunday, March 29.

Time: Saturday 10:00am - 9:00pm Sunday 10:00am - 5:00pm Where: Better Living Centre Exhibition Place Lakeshore Boulavard Toronto, On.

April Motorcycle Events

April 4-5, 2009 - Toronto Spring Motorcycle Show SUPERSHOW Events presents the Toronto International Spring Motorcycle Show at the Toronto International Centre, Featuring dealer displays of new bikes, accessory vendors & superstores, clubs & associations, huge selection of Used Parts & NOS stock for American, British, European and Asian motorcycles, Used Bike Market, Stage Shows and Custom Bike Competition. Best Bike in Show wins $3,500! Shop for bargains on all your spring motorcycling needs; helmets, boots and riding apparel.

Plan your summer riding schedule by visiting the Clubs, Charity Rides and Racing displays. Learn about Rider Training & Insurance. This Show has it all! For more Info call (905)6555403 or visit www.supershowevents.com/spring/index.html

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Time - TBA Place - Toronto International Centre 6900 Airport Rd. Mississauga, ON L4V 1E8, Canada (905) 677-6131 Cost - Adults $15, Youths under 12 years $5, children under 6 years free admission. Free Parking

Saturday April 11, 2009 - Hog Farm Motorcycle Show & Swap The Hog Farm's 40th Anniversary Celebration! 1969 Choppers ForeverForever Choppers, Chop & Shop, 74 More Fore Less, Antique, Flathead, Knuckhead, Panhead, Shovelhead and Sportster. Parts, accessories, motorcycles for sale. All make and models. Get a chance to win a Captain America Rolling Chassis.

Psychedelic entertainment, Go Go Cages, Go Go Girls, Blast From The Past Contests, Best Dressed Hippie, Best Chopper. Looking for bikes from the 60's to present for display and show. Please call ASAP! For more info call 716-822-3227.

Time: 4:00pm - 9:00pm Place: Agri-Center Building (Hamburg Fairgrounds) 5820 South Park Avenue Hamburg, New York 14075 Saturday April 11, 2009 - 8th Annual Spring Breakout Motorcycles, Parts, Accessories, Jewelry, Crafts, Leather, Tattoos, Friends, Food, and Fun! For more info call 1-807-863-4295 or email odypro@yahoo.com Time: 10:30am - 5:00pm Where: Ice Time Arena 21 Lakeside Road Newburgh, NY 12552 Cost: Admission:$12. 15 and under free with an adult Saturday April 18, 2009 - 5th Annual Biker Bowling

- ABATE of Onondaga presents their 5th Annual Biker Bowling Event. Put your balls in a sack and ride with the pack - Food/Fun/Prizes. Form more info contact ABATE HQ @ (315) 8495410 or (315) 455-1073. "Let Those That Ride Decide"

ABATE WANTS YOU!! Fight for your motorcycle rights... before they're gone...

Time: Ride leaves the Loop Grill at Noon Place: The Loop Grill 1114 Wolf Street Syracuse, New York Lakeview Lanes 715 Old Liverpool Road Liverpool, New York Cost: $10 per person

Sunday April 19, 2009 - Skin and Steel Motorcycle and Tattoo Extravaganza The event features a trophy Bike Show with multiple classes and "best of show" cash award. Professional judges handle the officiating. Also included are motorcycle dealers, tattoo artists, celebrity guests, food, beer, music, organizations and over 200 vendors selling all types of goods.

Variety is the theme. The show has something for every motorcycle and/or tattoo enthusiast. Partial proceeds go to Wease Cares Children's Fund and ABATE of NY's Monroe County Chapter. For more Info call 585-234-0895 Time - 1:00pm - 6:00pm Place - The Dome Center 2695 E. Henrietta Rd. Henrietta, New York Cost - $12 - Children 12 & Under Free

Sunday April 19, 2009 - Ulster County Spring Party Details to be announced Saturday April 25, 2009 - Choppers for Charity & Hogs Against Hunger This is the 9th Annual Food Bank of WNY Motorcycle Run, Car & Motorcycle Show, and Benefit Party.

Check-in 11am at . Run leaves at 1pm SHARP to the Benefit Party 2pm-7pm Live Music by Blackest Red and The Mike Salerno Band. Hard Tales Magazine will be on hand to pick a Recognized Radical Award! Good people, cool music, hot bikes, cars, and much more! Food, cash bar, 50/50, raffle prizes, trophies, vendors, celebrity guests. EVERYONE is welcome. One of the Best Parties Of The Year. You won't want to miss this event! Limited Vendor &

Sponsorship Opportunities available.info or to join the CFC-HAH committee contact Lori Stachowiak development@foodbankwny.org or 716-852-1305. This is a TOTAL BENEFIT for the Food Bank of WNY. Rain, Snow or Shine!

Time - Run - Check in 11:00am Native Pride Travel Plaza 11359 Southwestern Blvd. (Rt. 20) Irving, New York (Map) Run leaves at 1:00pm Sharp!

Benefit Party - 2:00pm - 7:00pm Rhino's Rock Club 3700 Southwestern Blvd.

Orchard Park, New York Cost - $10 for Drivers, $5 for passengers or the equivalent in non-perishable food item donations.

Saturday April 25, 2009 - Brotherhood MC Annual Steak Dinner & Big Screen TV Raffle Join the Brotherhood MC for their Annual Steak Dinner & Big Screen TV Raffle. Raffle tickets available from all BMC Members.

Time: 3:00pm - 8:00pm Place: Six Pockets 716 E. Ridge Road Rochester, New York Cost: $13 Donation for the Best Steak Dinner in Town

Saturday April 25, 2009 - Springville Travelers M.C. Bonfire Party Join us at 8pm for our Bonfire Party immediately after The Food Bank's Choppers for Charity & Hogs Against Hunger event! EVERYONE is welcome to The Springville Travelers Clubhouse. The Springville Travelers Club was established on May 5, 1934 and continues to grow with each passing year. Today, the club offers a variety of fun motorcycle events for everyone to enjoy. Poker Runs, Bike Shows, Field Meets, Chili Runs and more! We始re a family oriented club and we have both men and women as members. No Guns, No Drugs, No Attitudes, No Pets. For more info call the Springville Travelers MC at 716803-4009 or 716-597-8872.

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Place: Pleasant Valley FireHouse 1644 Route 44 Pleasant Valley, New York Cost: $25/Rider $35/Couple

Saturday April 25, 2009 - 25th Annual Bike Blessing

- ABATE of Onondaga presents their 25th Annual Bike Blessing. This is the REAL DEAL! Meet at the Loop Grill, Ride leaves at 1:30. Must be at St Daniels Church by 2:00pm! Ride to follow after the Blessing. Be there or see ya in hell!! For more info contact ABATE HQ (315) 849-5410 or (315) 455-1073 - "Let Those That Ride Decide" ABATE WANTS YOU!!

Fight for your motorcycle rights... before they're gone...

Help support your RIGHT TO RIDE! May is Motorcycle Safety and Awareness Month! American Bikers Aimed Toward Education - Dedicated to Freedom of The Road. ABATE is a not-for-profit corporation formed to promote and protect the interests of motorcyclists. They monitor and interact with the legislative process, enhancing the image of motorcycling, and provide educational and social opportunities for member and nonmembers. More details to be announced. For info call 716-8252627 or 716-462-8982.

Place: The Loop Grill 1114 Wolf Street Syracuse, New York

St Daniels Church 3004 Court Street Syracuse, New York

All are welcome to attend our monthly meetings the third Wednesday of the month, 7:30 pm at VFW 8113 Chicken Coop 299 Leydecker Rd. West Seneca, NY 14221.

Saturday May 9, 2009 - Blue Knights NY XX Bike Blessing Ride

Sunday April 26, 2009 - The 81 Thunder Run & Chili Cook-Off Join the Long Island Hells Angels for their 11th Annual Suffolk County Party. Live Music, Food, Vendors, and more. For more information or to enter the Chilli Cook-Off visit the LI Hells Angels website at http://www.hamcli.com Rain date May 3rd.

Time: Kickstands up at 11:30am Sharp! Gates for the party open at 11:30am.

Place: Hells Angels Long Island Clubhouse 62 Henry Street Hempstead, NY Cost: $10 Donation

- Bike Blessing followed by 60-70 mile ride. Food, Music, Prizes, and FUN! For more information contact Kevin Ferrell at 845-590-4033.

Place: Christian Faith Fellowship Family Church 510 M and M Road Middletown, New York Saturday May 9, 2009 - CC Riders MC Mothers Day Food Drive, Change Run & Motorcycle Blessing

Sunday April 26, 2009 - Salt Point Fire Co. Spring Chicken Poker Run

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Time: Sign-in 10:30am - Noon

May Motorcycle Events Saturday May 2, 2009 - ABATE of Buffalo Erie Awareness Motorcycle Run

Time: Meet up @ 1:30pm - Blessing at 2:00pm Sharp!

- 50/50, Music by Joey D., Trophies, Door Prizes. For more info please contact 845 - 266 - 5177 or Adam @ 845 - 235 - 3194.

Time: Registration - 10:30am 11:30am

shine, All vehicles welcome. AMA Sanctioned. For more info call 585322-5933 or 585-493-2777.

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Support your local Wyoming County Food Bank. Trophies, door prizes, bake sale, split raffle, vendors and more! Raffle tickets $1 each for the Easy Rider Chopper Mini-bike w/50cc Lafin Engine, to be given away at the June 19th Fallen Bros Run. Rain or

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Place: C&C Cycle Shop 173 North Main Street Silver Springs, New York Cost: Entry fee is $10 or a non-perishable food item valued at $10.

Saturday May 9, 2009 - BACA 100 Mile Fight Come Join B.A.C.A Hudson Valley for there 100 mile Fight Run, to raise awareness and help fight Child Abuse. This 100 mile ride will take you threw the beautiful Hudson Valley Region. Sign up from 9:30am/11:00am at Sunoco Swarts Mart. Kick Stands up at 11:00am sharp. The ride will be ending with a party at the Huntington Ale House.

Live Bands,Vendors,BBQ,50/50.

Come Help our little wounded friends 100\% of the proceeds will go to fight Child Abuse. Sponsor: Huntington Ale House/ Duffys Biker Barn. For more info please contact bacahv@gmail.com or 845-527-8104.

Time: Sign-In 9:30am - 11:00am Kickstands up at 11:00am Sharp!

Place: Sunoco Swarts Mart 895 Route 376 Hopewell Junction, New York Huntington Ale House 98 Route 216 Stormville, New York Donation: $20/Single Rider $30/Couple

Saturday May 10 - 17, 2009 McKinley Mall Spring Bike Week Motorsports & Outdoor Adventures For more info call 716-824-0462 Place: McKinley Mall 3701 McKinley Parkway Buffalo, NY 14219 Sunday May 17, 2009 - LONELYONES MC 28th Bike Blessing - New location! McKinley Mall Front Lot For more info visit www.lonelyonesmc.com

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A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.' He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

'What are you going to do,' the homeowner asks? 'I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles with his jaw and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.'

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. 'What's the shotgun for?' asks the homeowner.

'If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog’

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!" So from that day for ward, the guy rode motorcycles, went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot. He drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up. He burped and farted whenever he wanted. and lived happily ever after.

THE END

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Dave’s Shovels These bikes belong to Dave Bleaker (Bushman/Tuna Dave) of Pinellas Park FL. The ‘74 was an Orlando Florida cop bike. It still has the old style siren that is powered from the rotation off the rear tire. The side car is easy to detach for solo riding. You won’t find a little brass bell on this bike but it has its own set of big brass balls.

The 71 Shovelhead is all powder coated and Dave built it from parts that he pilfered, I mean collected over the years.

The shovelhead engine is a type of V-twin engine that was manufactured between 1966 and 1985.

The design for the shovel head engine is an offshoot of the design of the Panhead engine; only the shovelhead engine includes more powerful cylinders and pistons as well as a slightly different look.

The shovelhead engine got its name from the distinctive look of the engine's rocker box covers.

These covers resemble the heads of coal shovels.

If the engine came with a feature called the FLH Electra-Glide Package, it was identified as a shovel head engine for police bikes. This feature was also sometimes called the Police Option as it made it easier for them to run cars off the road.

This is a skill that might be emulated by Dave himself. So if you happen to see him on the road, stay in your lane and don’t follow too closely.

Reprint from Easyriders Magazine 10/2008

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Ride Safe in 2009 We’ll See Ya On the Road!