Time to let the Romantic out of the cage History and OPRF

Singing something yet unfound, though I have diligently sought it, many a long year;

Singing the true song of the Soul, fitful, at random …

It is the song of Romantic longing. Each of us is a confederacy of internal voices, roughly corresponding to Freud’s model of a triad psyche: What Freud called the Ego, I call the Realist. His Superego is my Idealist. And the Romantic is more or less the Id. More, I think. More elevated. The Realist rules, or tries to. The Idealist pipes up from time to time, hoping to serve as the Realist’s conscience. And the Romantic is generally under ar rest, considered untrustworthy, though I’m not so sure. The Romantic is irrational, but not entirely. Its mission, as the poet Rilke wrote, is to “go to the limits of your longing.”

An unequal triangle is not, my Idealist contends, ideal for mental and spiritual health.

Everyone is different. When the Realist, the Idealist and the Romantic are at war with one another you end up with Elon Musk. When each is strong and relatively in balance, the result is Michelle Obama.

There’s a place for all three voices, and when harmonious balance is achieved, human beings are magnificent creatures indeed. But when we smother the romantic, we suf focate joy and misplace passion. That diminishes us. Valentine’s Day is a good excuse to let the romantic out on parole to get some exercise.

And it’s healthy all-year-round to let the romantic out of the cage on occasion. You wouldn’t want it taking over the wheel of the ship permanently, but it will definitely remind you why you’ re taking the voyage

Setting free the Romantic means “waltzing in the wonder of why we’re here” as one songwriter wrote.

Dancing in the dark

Till the tune ends

We’re dancing in the dark

And it soon ends …

Or, as a friend said long ago at colle ge graduation, before I never saw him again:

“If you can’t romance your own life, how are you going to romance anyone else?”

The thing is you can’t fake romance. You have to feel it. But if it’s real, the Romantic deserves equal footing in the governing council of the psyche.

For that to happen, you have to set it free once in a while.

If you do, the central person in your life will benefit.

SHRUB TO WN by Marc Stopeck