The Weekend 17 January 2014 by Weekend-BristolPost

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FROM FRIDAY, FRIDA DAY, DA Y, JANUARY JANU JA NUAR ARY 17, AR 7, 2014 ISSUE IS ISSUE 87

ONE MAN AND HIS PENGUINS Sean Hughes talks life, family, careers and... penguins

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If you’re looking for inspiration on how to make the most of your free time... this is the place to start

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SHOPPING

THE BUZZ OF THE BUSY BEE Independent of the week Opening a co-operative craft centre is a dream come true for Hazel Golding. Kate Edser visits this eclectic shop-cum-café in community-conscious Staple Hill

ince college days, it was Hazel Golding’s dream to open a co-operative craft shop. Now, more than two decades later, she has realised that aim and opened Busy Bee, at Staple Hill’s Burley Grove shopping parade. While her own area of expertise is leaded glass, it’s been an all-consuming effort to set up the shop, which opened early in September, so Hazel hasn’t had time to create anything herself. But there are, it seems, plenty of talented people in the locality whose wares pack the Busy Bee’s reclaimed shelves. Hazel is clear that her outlet should be a showcase for local skills, and a place where like-minded folk can gather to create, learn and talk. She explains: “All the merchandise you see has been made and brought in by local people because the shop is all about neighbourhood, community and enjoying the fact that there are people with skills in the Staple Hill and Downend area.

“Creative people around here found me through word of mouth, even before I started to advertise. I picked this spot due to its reputation for community. “What I am building here is for people to use, to enjoy, to be inspired by; a place where they can come and do craft sessions, and if they want to put their things in the shop, there is always that possibility. “I sell on a commission basis and I take 30 per cent.” Hazel spent six months transforming the former chemist into a bright store, plus a café and workshop, all with a traditional feel. Among the eclectic and colourful stock, for adults and children alike, is a wide range of textiles, knitted and crocheted items, cushions, plaques, small items of furniture, fabric-covered door stops, decorations, printed cotton aprons and bags, toys, jewellery, candles, hand cream, scarves, quilts, cards, book covers, wooden jewellery boxes, and even hand-painted flying ducks, which have become quite a talking point. Hazel, who lives in Whitehall

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with her 14-year-old son, has been a prison-based careers advisor in recent years, but “a series of events in life” led her to take the plunge this year and open the shop. It’s an idea that’s been brewing since she left college in the early Nineties. She says: “I remember asking myself what was I doing with this arty stuff because I’d never be able to make a living. I thought back then that the only way to make it work would be to form a co-operative, a communal workshop and shop where everyone splits the bills. “Nobody at that time was interested, but I never completely shelved the idea. ” Twenty-five years later, Busy Bee was born. Besides attracting

craftspeople and shoppers, it is also a meeting place for local groups, including Bromley Heath WI and newly formed Knit and Natter. Which brings me to the café, which fits seemlessly with the ethos of the shop and helps turn a profit. Hazel makes the salads and cakes herself; many of the latter are free from gluten and/or sugar free, and she also produces gluten-free bread. Food is served on a plethora of vintage-style crockery of the sort your granny had. All second-hand, the tables and chairs are a mismatched bunch that sit together well, complemented by a huge mirror over the fireplace, and old-fashioned dressers. The only hints at modernity

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are the fridges and the coffee machine. Open six days a week (not Saturday), the shop is attracting a steady stream of customers, who can browse a range of reasonably priced items, starting from just £1, up to pieces of furniture, the most expensive of which is a 1930s wooden sewing box for £73. In between, there are pieces of jewellery made with semi-precious stones or glass for about the £20 mark. Among the suppliers is a Downend couple who keep bees in a small orchard and produce cider, candles and hand cream, with honey to come next spring, and Hazel is also in discussion with a local wood-turner, whose creations she hopes to have in stock soon.

At the moment, Busy Bee is an ever-changing story, which suits Hazel just fine. “Every day something new happens, and that’s what keeps me going. Someone will come and inspire me; people with skills. It is delightful when people bring in what they have made. I know how frustrating it is when you’re creative and skilled and you’re limited to craft fairs, and people beat you down on price like they’re at a car boot fair, but people come here and appreciate what I do, and it sells.” Busy Bee is at 174 Burley Grove, Downend, BS16 5QQ. The shop is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm, and on Sunday 10am-4pm, but shut on Saturday.

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BOLD IS BEAUTIFUL It’s time to put the tired old year behind you and welcome the new year in big, bright style. Follow the latest trend in interior design, and go bold.

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WINTER BLUES If you can’t beat the January blues, join them. Whether it’s navy, duck-egg, powder or colbalt, blue is the ‘in’ colour this season.

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HEALTH&BEAUTY

LIVING WITH LIVER DISEASE Heath and fitness Liver disease isn’t confined to heavy drinkers, as 29-year-old Marina Barlow knows only too well. She tells Kate Edser that such a life-changing diagnosis needn’t be an entirely negative experience

ut of the blue, Marina Barlow developed a yellow hue to her skin – jaundice – and found herself in the Bristol Royal Infirmary for a week where doctors diagnosed auto-immune hepatitis, for which there is no cure. So Marina, who is 29 and lives in Filton, is stuck with the condition for life and, although she’s lucky that the disease is well-managed with medication, the worst-case scenario is that her liver deteriorates to the point where a transplant is the only way forward. The sudden onset of such a potentially serious illness was a bit of a shock, but Marina has determined that negativity will not do. Indeed, although it’s been a life-changing experience, there are many positives to emerge and celebrate. Two-and-a-half years on, she is feeling well and says: “My outlook on life has completely

changed. You learn who your friends are and you learn to appreciate the people in your life; you look at what’s important and your priorities change. I have a great support network and life is good.” In fact Marina, who works in procurement for the Environment Agency in Bristol, has been feeling so good that she has recently embarked on a charity trek. Through Charity Challenges, she undertook a five-day, 45-mile hike through the mountains of Cuba, raising £3,000 in the process for the British Liver Trust. She has also taken up running and has completed a couple of 10km races. “I wouldn’t have done Cuba or the 10ks if I hadn’t become ill. It’s been a real learning experience and a good one too. “Whatever you have to face, you have to get something positive out of it – that’s really important. “When it got to the first anniversary of being ill, which

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Liver health

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Love Your Liver Pop-up Clinic Take the three-step challenge to good liver health with the British Liver Trust’s UK-wide tour, which stops in Bristol on Wednesday, January 22. The trust will be offering free expert advice, the chance to undergo a non-invasive Fibroscan liver test and glasses of Eisberg alcohol-free mulled wine at a one-day clinic at Morrisons supermarket car park, The Mall, Cribbs Causeway. For more information, visit www.loveyourliver.org.uk.

was July 2011, I thought I really wanted to mark it in some way. I didn’t know what to do, so I contacted the British Liver Trust because they have a page of events you can get involved in to raise money. “I thought it would be good to do something out of my comfort zone and to raise money for the trust, so they can raise awareness of non-alcoholic liver disease as well as research into cures. “It was one of the best things I have ever done and I would definitely do something like it again.” Though the cause of her disease is largely unknown, specialists can keep a watchful eye on it with regular blood tests, scans and an occasional

biopsy. Until very recently, Marina’s been taking steroids – and enduring their unpleasant side-effects – but her liver has improved to the point where such drugs are no longer necessary, although she will take immune system suppressants for the rest of her life. This means, of course, that Marina is particularly susceptible to infections, so even coughs and colds can be serious, but she maintains a healthy lifestyle to give herself the best chance of staying well. Although auto-immune hepatitis is one of several liver diseases that cannot be attributed to excess boozing, cutting down the amount she drinks is key to continued

good health. Marina says: “My liver has steadily improved over time and I actually came off the steroids early in December. “I’m generally quite healthy, but my alcohol intake is now next to nothing; I have the odd glass of wine here and there, but I can’t buy a bottle of wine for the weekend any more. “But I’m in a better position than a lot of people with the same condition as me. “One message I’d like to get out is that liver disease isn’t just associated with alcoholics. “You only get one liver, it does so much and you have to look after it – and there is no guarantee of a liver transplant. “I have no sympathy with alcoholics.”

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f you feel like a spare part in the gym, sprint back to the sanctuary of your bathroom. The beauty world has some seriously heavyweight products to keep your face and body fit for 2014 – no gym membership or sweat required. Whip slack skin and lazy complexions back into shape with these beauty boosters.

NIKM TQN\QVO There are plenty of toning and weight exercises designed for your body, but don’t let your face miss out on the action. When it comes to the face, encouraging plumpness is key to diminishing fine lines so give your complexion a workout with Bliss’ Firm, Baby Firm. The dual-action serum gets to work firming up the delicate eye zone

and improving elasticity in the chin area, £55 (www.blissworld.co.uk). To encourage some youthful bounce, try Clinique’s Repairwear Uplifting Firming Cream. A skin personal trainer in a pot, it visibly tightens, lifts and firms the face and neck, £52 (0870 034 2566/ www.clinique.co.uk).

UI[[IOM Facial gyms haven’t been invented yet so engage in the next best thing – massage. Self-massage in the mirror allows oxygenated blood to flow freely, releasing toxins and alleviating festive puffiness. Celebrity facialist Sarah Chapman makes uplifting massages easier with her Facialift device. The massager features eight heads and 48 nodules to lift and sculpt the face and aid lymphatic drainage, £25 (www.sarahchapman.net). Massage as you cleanse with Magnitone’s Pulsar Daily Skin

Cleansing & Toning System For Face And Body. The 15,000 rotational oscillations per minute not only remove deep impurities but noticeably firms and tightens skin as it polishes, £129.99 (Boots).

JWLa [K]TX\WZ[ Stay dedicated to a 30-second massage routine for 30 days straight with Mio’s Get Waisted Sculpting Body Shaper. Dubbed “rehab for abs”, it vows to increase natural fat burning for smoother, firmer, tauter skin around the waist and tummy, £35 (www.mioskincare.co.uk). If you don’t fancy the scary chest press contraption at the gym, try This Works’ Perfect Cleavage Firming Lotion. This nourishing lotion that plumps and enhances your decolletage, £38 (www.thisworks.com).

TQUJ5MZ ]X Fear sleeveless tops no more, when armed with Soap & Glory’s The Firminator Targeted Arm Firming & Toning Formula. It not only tones but exfoliates, to blur away the imperfections we’ve been hiding away in woolly jumpers, £12 (Boots). Wave goodbye to sagging skin for 2014 using Pupa’s Inner Arm Shaping Cream. To maximise results, apply to the inner arms in an energetic massage motion from the elbow to the shoulder, twice a day for eight weeks to maximise tightening, £42 (www.escentual.com).

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GADGETS

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f you had to build a brand new way to search the internet, starting from scratch, where would you start? What would you build? Those were the questions Biz Stone and Ben Finkel asked themselves while taking a walk through San Francisco. It occurred to them that the search engines we’re used to, including market leader Google, were all designed in the days when desktop computers ruled the internet. For today’s young people, those days are ancient history. Their computers don’t sit on desks, they move around. Very often, they don’t use “computers” at all, but tablets and mobile phones. So Stone and Finkel decided they needed to build a search that takes advantage of this mobile technology, and the constant interconnectedness that comes with it. The result is Jelly (www.jelly.co) and at first glance it’s, well, a bit odd. Its creators say it’s a way for

you to ask your friends about stuff you encounter. Snap a picture, share it with friends, and ask them “What is this thing?” or “How do I fix this?” Your friends can supply their own answers, or forward your question to other people they think might be able to help. Yes, you can already do this with a simple email. Or even a Tweet. That’s partly why Jelly will seem odd. But install it on your smartphone and give it a try.

Although it’s very early days, there’s something compelling about flicking through the conversations happening there. Similar conversations could never happen by email, because everyone hates email and you’d be accused of spamming, and they wouldn’t happen on Twitter because they’d be too long. Jelly might be strange, but perhaps Stone and Finkel are on to something. After all, strange worked pretty well for Twitter, and dozens of others.

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APPS GET PHYSICAL An appcessory is an app that combines with an actual, real thing, giving you the best of the virtual and physical worlds. Leading appcessory expert Chris Ilett, of appcessorise.com, says there will be “an explosion in offerings” in 2014. With this in mind, Peter Jenkinson rounds up six of the current best.

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f you’re looking to get in shape without slogging it out on the treadmill within the four grey walls of a sweaty gym, then head out to the stunning surrounds of Ashton Court Estate. Join like-minded people for Ashton Court’s Parkrun every Saturday at 9am. It’s free to join, but you are asked to register before your first run. And don’t forget to bring a printed copy of your barcode – if you forget it, you

won’t get a time. The popular park run covers a 5km route in the estate’s picturesque grounds. The course has been accurately measured with a professional measuring wheel and consists of Tarmac and stone/gravel paths, which provide a good year-round running surface. The park run starts and finishes on the main service road, 250m beyond the mansion, and following well-made paths to a turning point close to the

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Ashton Court quarry. From the start to the turning point there is an ascent of around 100m. This is mostly a steady climb, although two short stretches are quite steep. Organisers say that nobody should be put off by this (there is no shame in walking the steep bits!) and the tough climbs are always followed by some respite. You will also be rewarded with fantastic views over Bristol and the surrounding countryside, and the promise of a 2.5km downhill stretch to the finish.

The course will be signposted and, subject to available volunteers, there will be marshals midway and at the turning point. At the end of the run, just take your barcode and position token to the registration area to record your details. This isn’t a competition. Beginners and regular runners are both invited along to enjoy the event. For more information, visit www.parkrun.org.uk/ashton-court

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Reviews by Mark Taylor

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EATING IN Soup up your office lunches with this spicy little treat

ored of the same old overpriced at-the-desk sandwich or pre-pay day panini? If so, the new book by Caroline Craig and Sophie Missing is guaranteed to inject some joy into your lunchtime routine and save money at the same time. From wholesome and healthy lunches to money-saving snacks created using cupboard staples, this wonderful little book is packed with great ideas for packed lunches, whether you work in an office or simply need some fresh inspiration for your children’s school lunchbox. At work, lunch easily gets overlooked and if you only have an hour it’s easy to just grab an overpriced soggy sandwich from the nearest shop. And then there’s the cost. In January, when money is tighter than at other times of year, it’s not unusual to spend £6 a day on the most basic sandwich and soft drink or takeaway cup of coffee. Even with the most conservative estimate, that’s £30 a week, or more than £100 a month, when you can make far more exciting food at home for a lot less. The Little Book of Lunch is filled with delicious and simple recipes for the office worker’s packed lunch that won’t break the bank. With clever approaches to classics, making them easy for transportation between your kitchen and workplace, the book features quickly assembled dishes for when you barely have five minutes in the morning, as well as useful weekly meal planners and shopping lists to make your life easier. The book includes a number of innovative sandwiches, soups, salads and meals that can be cooked in advance and which taste great at room temperature. There are even recipes for sweet treats to bribe work colleagues, such as salted caramel brownies. This recipe comes from the chapter extolling the virtues of taking a flask to work, whether it’s for tea, coffee or “al desko” soup.

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TRAVEL

BUCCOLIC BRANSCOMBE UK travel A thatched inn and cottages, a lovely beach, and a village with a real feel-good factor. That’s Branscombe, says Tim Davey.

he nice thing about taking a break at home rather than abroad is that often, unexpectedly, you find yourself somewhere delightfully picture postcard in appearance and so quintessentially British. Step forward Branscombe in East Devon, a place undoubtedly known to many, but off my personal radar until we plumped to spend a couple of nights there last summer. Look on a map and it reveals this village to be not too far in one direction from the

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popular fishing village of Beer and along the coast a bit from Sidmouth and Seaton. But it outshone them all so far as my wife and I were concerned and that can mainly be attributed to three things; the National Trust, an evident community spirit and an absolutely fabulous pub and hotel, the Masons’ Arms. Our trip here coincided with one of those exceptional bursts of summertime with which our nation is occasionally blessed. So we set off down the A37, switching to the A303, heading for the coast. Branscombe’s about 80 miles from Bristol

if you go this way and, en route, we popped into Georgian Sidmouth, a nice, genteel, place to stroll and with loads of eateries to grab some lunch. Then it was just a short drive on to Branscombe itself. Be warned, though, the road is not the widest in places and a bit of cautious motoring won’t be out of place. Soon we were entering the village, though Branscombe’s rather strung out, running hither and thither up various small valleys. But as we drove through we noticed the thatched blacksmith’s forge – still working – and signs for the old bakery, now a tea shop.

Both were sights that whetted the appetite, but a bit further down the road, when the Masons’ Arms hove into view, we knew we’d picked somewhere special. The pub-cum-hotel dates back to 1350, when it established itself courtesy of the custom provided by the masons working on cutting stone nearby for use on Exeter Cathedral. Our room for the next couple of nights was something else. It wasn’t in the main building, but to one side and atop a bank within a charming row of thatched cottages. Outside (and there was a seating area by each entrance) were some lovely tiered cottage gardens. Our vast room and generous en suite was on the first floor beneath the thatch. It was delightful. By now it was late afternoon and the sun was shining. What to do? Well, have a drink and sit outside the pub overlooking Branscombe’s main street, that’s what. The place is now owned by St Austell Brewery, which knows how to run things properly, as anyone who has ever ventured into any of its premises in its homeland further into the South West will know. We were dining there that night so could

really unwind and, after a leisurely drink, we decided to amble down to the beach around ten minutes away. Now the nice thing about this is that village folk have created a really clever route to the beach skirting the fields and avoiding the narrow lanes and vehicles. The beach itself is shingle, but was a hive of activity nevertheless. It’s a stunning location and not sullied by over-commercialisation. There’s a café, thatched, of course, called the Sea Shanty Beach Café serving traditional fare such as cakes and cream teas. Meanwhile, rising to the east of the beach is the formidablelooking walking challenge of Beer Head. Back at the pub for the first of two nights’ dining and, once again, the ancient character of this place was in evidence. There was a really lovely atmosphere – and the food and service was jolly good, too, the award-winning menu featuring fish specialities, including locally caught lobster and crab. Next morning, as the sun blazed down, we decided that our car, parked up in the hotel car park, would be staying there. We were enjoying our stay in Branscombe so much

that we agreed to spend our time ambling around its environs exploring the place thoroughly. It was great: there was a school fete, a wonderful private garden open to the public, a working water mill, the blacksmith’s forge and that old baker-turned-tea room, to mention a few of the highlights. We lazed on the beach, too, having abandoned plans to trek over the cliff to Beer in a heat wave. We left after breakfast on the following morning and, before driving home, decided to pop along to nearby Lyme Regis, another place on this coastline we love. But, do you know, after Branscombe it seemed just too crowded...

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Chris bares his rock ’n’ roll soul with high octane tour OQO WN \PM _MMS Koypz \5\ huk \ol Pvvkyh{z \olrsh4 Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy 9?6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

or more than a decade, Brighton-based writer and musician Chris T-T has been one of the most consistently acclaimed artists in British underground music and a key influence for a generation of songwriters. Since 1999, Chris (the T-T stands for his surname Thorpe-Tracey) has released nine albums, including a trilogy about London and a political protest album. As well as being a prolific recording artist who tours frequently, he has written extensively for magazines and newspapers, including the Huffington Post, and for almost five years he wrote a regular arts column in The Morning Star. Alongside writing and touring, he also speaks regularly at conferences and runs seminars

and workshops. He leads seminars for all ages and abilities, working with schools, universities and songwriter groups across the UK. Emerging from the late Nineties lo-fi and psych-folk scene, Chris first gained acclaim for his wry, city-obsessed urban folk. More recently he has developed his style, crossing barriers between punk, psych-pop and English folk, inspiring a generation of successful home-grown artists. Over the past 15 years, Chris has played shows around the world with artists as diverse as Ben Folds, Elbow, The National, Divine Comedy, British Sea Power, Arab Strap, Carter USM and Robyn Hitchcock. He has also played piano for a number of singers including Tom Robinson and Frank Turner. Away from his own songwriting and touring, Chris has enjoyed a varied career.

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He performed on the fourth plinth at Trafalgar Square for artist Anthony Gormley’s One & Other project; re-soundtracked live cult Japanese film Battle Royale for Soho’s Other Cinema and composed music on commission for the Natural History Museum and the World Health Organisation. In 2011, Chris took his one-man show Disobedience to Edinburgh Fringe Festival, singing new musical versions of AA Milne’s 1920s childrens’ poems. Last October saw the release of Chris T-T’s ninth album, The Bear, recorded with his band The Hoodrats. The album will be followed by the new single, Bury Me With a Scarab, which is out on February 10 and includes a cover of Low’s Laser Beam. Chris T-T is back on the road this month for a full headline tour with The Hoodrats. Having just completed a run of intimate solo shows supporting

Emily Barker and The Red Clay Halo, he says these new dates X will be “rock-ya-face-off full-band assaults bringing the full sonic magnitude of The Bear to the fore”. The Bear is Chris’s third album for Xtra Mile Recordings. Recorded with The Hoodrats, he has departed from the pared-down introspection of 2010’s Love Is Not Rescue and instead created a full-on psych rock record with hints of Sebadoh and early Hold Steady, with a nod to Sixties garage and bands like The Faces and Animals. Channelling these influences, Chris and his band taped the album close to live, completing songs in three or four takes just as those bands would have done back then. The result is an excitingly fresh sounding record and some of his best work to date. David Marks

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hosts of the past haunt a former British Army officer in Jonathan Teplitzky’s respectful and polished drama. Based on the bestselling autobiography of Eric Lomax, The Railway Man uses a patchwork of flashbacks to recount the writer’s treatment at the hands of the Imperial Japanese Army after the fall of Singapore. Director Jonathan Teplitzky doesn’t shy away from the most harrowing episodes of Lomax’s story, including a torture sequence which depicts Japanese officers using water-boarding to extract information from their prisoner. Another scene, much closer to home at a Scottish train station, is equally chilling. While Teplitzky’s picture lands

a flurry of punches, it doesn’t quite deliver a knockout blow, even in the final act when Lomax attempts to confront a Japanese officer he holds responsible for the war raging inside his head. Like the smartly dressed man at the story’s centre, the deepest emotions remain tightly buttoned. When we first meet ardent train enthusiast Eric (Colin Firth), he is safely ensconced in a first-class carriage, casting nervous glances at the lady sitting opposite. Eventually he strikes up a conversation with Patricia Wallace (Nicole Kidman) and learns she is visiting the north of England based on recommendations from a friend. “With all due respect to your friend, if all he’s mentioned is vodka, he’s only scratched the surface of Warrington,” sweetly blusters Eric. He engineers another meeting

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with Patti further up the line and they fall in love and marry. It quickly becomes clear to Patti that there is something in Eric’s past which is troubling him, but her efforts to help are swatted aside. “You will never again attempt to discuss matters which do not concern you. There’s no objection, I hope?” Eric firmly tells his wife. So she seeks out best friend Finlay (Stellan Skarsgard), hoping he can reveal the scars of the past and ease her spouse’s suffering. “A lot of men went through something you can’t even begin to imagine,” Finlay tells her. Ultimately, he recounts to Patti, and us, the horrors faced by young Eric (Jeremy Irvine) and fellow soldiers at the Sakamoto Butai camp. The Railway Man chugs back and forth between 1940s Singapore and 1980 Berwick,

which makes Teplitzky’s film feel far more sluggish and laboured that it actually is. Thankfully, Firth and Kidman are both excellent in emotionally demanding roles. Irvine is mesmerising as the younger incarnation of Eric, who is beaten nearly to death by the Japanese after a daring attempt to construct a radio from spare parts. Direction is measured throughout and the tone suitably sombre, honouring the memory of countless young soldiers who resisted their captors, sometimes with their dying breath.

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s a visual artist, Steve McQueen ploughed his own furrow. He collected the Turner Prize in 1999, ahead of bookies’ favourite Tracey Emin, for three pieces including a video work Deadpan in which he recreated the falling house stunt from the Buster Keaton silent film Steamboat Bill Jr. In 2006, McQueen responded powerfully to the war in Iraq by representing portraits of fallen British soldiers as a sheet of stamps in Queen And Country. When he made the transition to feature-length films, McQueen was equally uncompromising. His bravura debut Hunger recounted the story of Bobby Sands (Michael Fassbender) through the eyes of fellow Irish Republican prisoners, while his incendiary follow-up, Shame, dealt candidly with sex

addiction. For his third feature, McQueen considers the slave trade from the perspective of a free black man, who was kidnapped in 1841 and suffered 12 years of abuse on the plantations of Louisiana before he was reunited with his loving family. Based on the autobiography of the same name by Solomon Northup and adapted for the screen by John Ridley, 12 Years A Slave is a masterpiece that sears into the retina with every artfully composed frame. Solomon (Chiwetel Ejiofor) lives with his wife Anne (Kelsey Scott), daughter Margaret (Quvenzhane Wallis) and son Alonzo (Cameron Zeigler). An encounter with two seemingly respectable gentlemen – Messrs Brown (Scoot McNairy) and Hamilton (Taran Killam) – changes Solomon’s life forever. He wakes up in chains and learns he has been sold into

slavery. Theophilus Freeman (Paul Giamatti) takes delivery of Solomon and ignores pleas for leniency, snarling, “My sentimentality stretches the length of a coin”. Solomon’s first master, Ford (Benedict Cumberbatch), is kind but fate delivers the lead character to sadistic Edwin Epps (Michael Fassbender). Epps takes a shine to one of the slave girls, Patsey (Lupita Nyong’o), to the chagrin of his unfeeling wife (Sarah Paulson). Solomon is caught in the crossfire, finding a means to orchestrate escape with the help of an abolitionist called Bass (Brad Pitt), who also believes that “slavery is an evil that should befall none”. 12 Years A Slave is the deserved front-runner for Best Picture at this year’s Oscars and it would be impossible to deny McQueen’s film an entire mantelpiece of gold statuettes.

Ejiofor breaks our hearts as an honest, decent man, who retains his humanity in the face of unspeakable cruelty. Nyong’o is equally eye-catching in her big screen debut, while Fassbender simmers with self-loathing. McQueen’s directorial brio comes to the fore, memorably in a horrific whipping sequence shot in a single take. It’s not a film that demands repeat viewings. Like a sledgehammer to the solar plexus, once is enough, but McQueen’s sensitive yet unflinching portrait of suffering will stay with us forever.

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“

he Fortnight exists as the first public stage of a creative process – a safe place for us to invite artists whom we think are brilliant to come and road-test their ideas.” This is Emma Bettridge, producer of Ferment, Bristol Old Vic’s artist development strand, discussing the theatre’s biannual Ferment Fortnight – in which writers, performers and companies supported by BOV showcase their latest works-in-progress. The latest Ferment Fortnight kicks off next week with, as ever, a strong leaning towards adventurous, playful and thought-provoking theatre. Highlights this time around include Ministry of Secrets (Wednesday 22, 6.30pm), Richard Marsh’s comedy about computer surveillance, billed as “Dr Strangelove meets Homeland”. “It’s a satirical take on WikiLeaks and Edward Snowden,” explains Marsh, whose play Skittles was commissioned for Radio 4 and who co-wrote and performed in

the Fringe First-winning Dirty Great Love Story. “It takes a wry swipe at our vast dependence on machines and systems most of us don’t understand, yet have to rely on – despite it being quite clear the Government is fervently reading over our shoulder.” We also like the look of The Magic Toyshop (Wednesday 29, 6.30pm), a script-in-hand reading of Invisible Ink’s adaptation of the 1967 magic-realist novel by the great Angela Carter. Carter’s sinister fairytale tells the story of Melanie, a young girl who is forced to leave her comfortable rural home to live with relatives she has never met – including Aunt Margaret, mute since her wedding day, musical Francie, and volatile Finn. Brooding over it all is Uncle Phillip, who loves only the life-sized puppets he creates in his workshop. This one is directed by the brilliant Sita Calvert-Ennals, whose CV includes the Associate Director post on Theatre Royal Bath’s memorable Ben Hur. Another local talent for whom we have a lot of time is performer/musician Sam Halmarack, who brings his latest

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work-in-progress Morris, Constance And The Phantom Zoo to Ferment on the final day (Friday 31, 6.30pm). Halmarack’s idea follows two children and their terrifying journey to a phantom zoo: audiences will be able to give their own insights into how it should develop. Elsewhere, Bristol performance duo Clerke and Joy, who describe their work as “funny and deadly serious, everyday and over-the-top, smart but not highbrow” will be introducing The Stillness Of The Storm That Never Came At All (Friday 24, 8.15pm), a piece that explores their experiences of India, where they spent a residency last year in the city of Mumbai. Salisbury performance duo Two Destination Language draw on their own experiences as, respectively, a rhythm gymnast and bantam league baseball player for Manpower (Thursday 23, 8.15pm, pictured), an enquiry into manhood, male icons, heavy machinery and more. And, fresh from speaking at the National Theatre, writer/director Lucy Kerbel will be discussing her new book 100

Great Plays For Women (Friday 24, 6.30pm). “Women buy the majority of theatre tickets, make up half the acting profession and are often the largest cohort of any youth theatre or drama club,” Lucy explains. “And yet they have traditionally been under-represented on stage. My book seeks to address this gap.” Emma concludes: “Ferment is the place where we seek to enable artists we are inspired by. This is done in various ways – we host development weeks, residencies and see pieces through to full production. “This time, as ever, we’ve scoured the South West to find the artists who are bringing the next wave of ideas to the theatrical plate – and we love what we have found. “Heading into Ferment’s fourth year, we are really pleased with how ingrained we are in the national theatre landscape. 2013 saw premieres of Ferment-developed work at the Edinburgh Fringe, on the British Council showcase and at the National Theatre. This year we start with a lovely selection of new ideas, from Ferment regulars to unfamiliar faces.”

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Joëlle Tuerlinckx WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS? Until Sunday 16 March 2014 Exhibition spaces open Tuesday–Sunday 11am – 6pm, free admission Visit arnolfini.org.uk for Christmas opening hours Arnolfini 16 Narrow Quay, Bristol BS1 4QA arnolfini.org.uk @arnolfiniarts #JoelleT (Image left) Joëlle Tuerlinckx, WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS?, Arnolfini, installation view, 2013. Photo Stuart Whipps (Image right) Joëlle Tuerlinckx: Modèle originale, 2009 Supported by

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“

was so keen to get started, I sold my bicycle to buy my first camera…” David Constantine’s interest in photography began as a teenager in the late 1970s. The adolescent David started to take pictures everywhere he went, soon developing into an accomplished amateur. These early years of experimentation enabled the Bristol snapper to establish strong foundations, which have proved invaluable in his 35 years of photography. Soon, though, came a big change to both David’s life and budding career. Following a diving accident in Australia in 1982, David was paralysed from the shoulders down and left with no grip in his hands. Unable to pick up his camera, he gave up photography for a year – but, during this enforced lay-off, realised that he was still “seeing” pictures. “I made up my mind that being in a wheelchair should not prevent me from pursuing my

passion,” David explains now. “I began to think about how I could continue – and decided that all I needed was some adaptations to my camera and wheelchair.” Exactly a year after his injury, David wrote to camera manufacturers Olympus and asked if they could help with his plans. They replied positively – and so began the next phase of David’s photographic career. “The fascinating thing was that all the problems I foresaw with my photography after becoming a wheelchair user eventually turned into advantages,” he says. “I thought I had lost so much – my spontaneity and speed, the ability to photograph people without being seen, the ability to get to difficult locations and, most importantly, to start early in the morning. “And yes, I am now slower and more obvious to my subjects… and I need help with my gear and chair. Rather than a hindrance, though, these changes have simply forced me

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to develop different skills.” David uses both conventional film and digital formats – film for his more personal work, digital for the images he produces on his travels for the Bristol-based charity Motivation, which supports people with mobility disabilities around the world. A selection of his striking, revealing images are on show at the Room 212 gallery on Gloucester Road until the end of the month, and David will be talking about his methods at the gallery on Friday, January 24 (see listings). His own work focuses mainly on people. “I tend to work mainly in the street, and often will stop and ask people for their picture. The vast majority say yes, but if they aren’t keen I just move on. I occasionally get a more forthright ‘no’, though – and I have had the odd stone thrown at me!” He rises early, favouring early mornings and evenings, when the light is at its best. “My street wanderings are completely random. I just set off

from wherever I’m staying and turn left or right depending on where the light is coming from. “My aim is to portray people sensitively in their own environment, using the light to my best advantage. I always use daylight, and I still love traditional film for its sensitivity.” In fact, David believes that his street portraiture is probably enhanced by his disability. “It means that when I approach people and sit in front of them to photograph them, they tend to stare at me. This often makes for a very engaging look in my work.” His photography has led him into many fascinating situations – and one or two difficult ones. “I often get invited into people’s houses for tea or just to talk. I have broken my leg in Mexico, up a steep hill between two villages, and I’ve been accused by the Taliban of being a journalist during the time they controlled Afghanistan and had banned photography of the human form!”

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BOOKS

The Valley of Amazement

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op Gear star Richard Hammond is backing a book launch in a bid to help youngsters better understand brain injuries and their hidden effects. The BBC presenter suffered a serious brain injury himself when he was involved in a high speed car crash. More recently, retired Formula One driver Michael Schumacher was injured in a skiing accident. Richard said he is proud to lend his support to the publications, which are now available and he has also made an exclusive audio-book to accompany one of the books. Talking about the creation of the publications, which includes a parents’ handbook and two children’s books, he said: “This is a wonderful, colourful way for families touched by brain injury to explore the issues they may face.” The children’s books are aimed at different age groups and are designed to empower children and help them in their

rehabilitation journey. They have also been designed to encourage empathy among all youngsters towards other children or siblings who may be living with a brain injury. Heads Up, Tim-Tron explains acquired brain injury to young readers of primary school age, through the story of a mischievous little robot, who bumps his head whilst playing. The book, which is accompanied by Richard’s audio-book, won the prestigious United Kingdom Acquired Brain Injury Forum innovation award and has earned enthusiastic reviews for its clever portrayal of brain injury. It was also chosen as The Book Trust’s Bookmark Book of the Month. Medikidz: What’s up with Tamara? is aimed at slightly older children and teenagers. The comic book is based around a real teenager, dealing with acquired brain injury (ABI). Readers follow superhero Tamara as she is whisked off to Mediland for an encounter with Medikidz. Acquired brain injury in

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children: a parents' handbook is aimed at parents of children who have ABI. The books have been developed by The Children’s Trust, the UK’s leading charity for children with acquired brain injury, of which Richard Hammond is Vice President. The publications have been charitably funded and are available for order for a handling charge of £3.50 for one book and £1.50 for each subsequent book from www.thechildrenstrust.org.uk/books.

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A paint-on sense of drama and history Xyvwly{ Ksl}ly |zl vm whpu{ hkkz h zluzl vm kyhth huk opz{vy {v {opz Kspm{vu zp{{pun yvvt6 Llzpnuly Opss Zpjohykzvu l wshpuz {ol {ypjrz vm {ol {yhkl6

he dark muted colours of this snug sitting room in Clifton lend a moody atmosphere inspired by the past and reminiscent of the Victorian era. I love the passionate depth of colour on the walls – a Marston & Langinger’s paint in Roman Bronze. It achieves a sort of seriousness and a warming feeling, while also providing an excellent cover for all the architectural detail in the room. The paint contains lots of green and a wealth of brown through Marston’s clever mixing and the bronzing effect adds a quality and weight to all it touches. This paint colour was integral to the design of the room because there is an awful lot of cheating and faux effects that are typical of the Victorians – and a lick of paint helps to hold the whole theatrical picture together. The walls are panelled with cost-effective timber and then

painted to match the plaster so that no one can see the join. Similarly, the built-in tall cupboards and alcove were constructed in-situ using utilitarian materials, but brought to life with final decoration. Housing a hidden TV screen behind the abstract painting, the shell, with a picture light above, has been aged with dark paint to present an antique bronze appearance too. Everything ties together, yet nothing is as it seems. The dark fire surround was salvaged and cut down to improve its proportions – for the room needed to feel snug, not overly formal. Previously, there was no fire surround, simply a Seventies hole-in-the-wall. Once covered in a typical white gloss and looking like a nasty pastiche, we decided to reuse the timber surround because of its lovely corbels. By cutting the width and so giving it height, it became a more elegant piece. To make it seem more bespoke and individual, we painted it in an Off-Black Eggshell from Farrow &

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Ball to achieve a dark slate effect that added age and history. This included the mantle shelf that was polished to become even more like stone. The dark blue pigment in the Off-Black complements the green within the Roman Bronze on the wall and so the fireplace appears to be made out of a much plusher material than painted timber. The Victorians would be rejoicing at the success of such a simple paint trick. The elaborate cornice in this room and papered ceiling were left unchanged due to the Grade II status of the building. Cleaned up and restored, then painted a simple Slipper Satin soft grey/white from Farrow & Ball, the unusual decorative cornice gives a lovely lace collar effect to the Roman Bronze walls. The furnishings, materials and fabrics were also selected to set off the paint colours. Black as an accent colour looks especially authentic as it presents an ebonised and lacquered finish typical of the

Victorian period. The cane settle, though Arts and Crafts in style, adds to the quirkiness of the interior. The red Persian rug and velvet upholstered seat and sofa soften the formality and their rich and vibrant tones lend yet more comfortable and sumptuous style to the room. The room becomes more artistic and Bohemian this way and deliciously snug. All in all, the theatrical effect of a period room is suggested through colour and the way in which that colour changes all it touches. Never underestimate a paint and finishes effect; it’s a cost-effective way of achieving interior changes. Gill Richardson is one half of Clifton-based husband and wife team, Goodchild Interiors, specialising in architectural design. For more details, visit www.goodchild interiors.net, or call 0117 927 9475.

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SAVE ENERGY AND MONEY Advertisement feature John Lewis in Bristol is offering a new service helping customers to cut gas and electricity bills. Kate Edser talks to the store’s energy efficiency advisor, Tom Bardell

ith energy prices on an upwards spiral, we should all be concerned about the amount of gas and electricity we use in our homes and, more to the point, how we can cut our bills. While some of us will have a vague idea of the measures we can take to ensure our houses are as energy-efficient as possible, with extra insulation for example, there’s no substitute for expert advice. In Bristol, householders can now turn to the trusted name of John Lewis, whose experts can identify practical steps towards a more energy-efficient home. The branch of John Lewis at The Mall, Cribbs Causeway, is the only one in the country offering the service. It involves a survey of customers’ homes, which results in a report giving advice on energy-saving measures, what each will cost, and how much money can be saved as a result. Customers can then take advantage of

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technical design and installation services if they wish to, all managed by John Lewis experts. Alternatively, enter the store’s competition (see page 2) for a chance to win up to £2,000 worth of energy efficiency services. The man charged with carrying out the surveys is John Lewis’s energy advisor, Tom Bardell, who explains: “I carry out a home energy assessment so I can give expert and impartial advice about different things people can do to their properties. They may include installing new, more energy efficient equipment, but there might also be different ways to use your existing heating system. “Some things that I suggest might be items that John Lewis offers, such as loft and cavity wall insulation, heating systems, solar panels and smart controls for these devices, and other things might not be stocked by John Lewis, such as under-floor insulation and secondary-glazed windows. “Normally I have a tour from the home owner, so I get my bearings, then I go

outside to look from the front and the back and then I take measurements so I can measure the floor area. I do a few calculations so I can work out what we call the ‘heat loss perimeter’, which is area of wall that is exposed to the outside. “Then I’ll go around each room and look at the way the room is heated and the lights, measure the window area and look at the type of windows and see whether they are draft-proofed, and the sources of ventilation, like chimneys and extractor fans, which are all ways in which heat is lost. “I look also in the loft, to check the insulation, and I look at the heating system. My last questions are about how householders’ use energy and I would normally ask to see their energy bills for the past year too. “I can split up the energy use into lighting, appliances, heating and so on, so it gives people a breakdown about how they are using their energy. Out of that come recommendations as to what they can do

John Lewis’ energy efficiency services include: Heating and hot water: John Lewis can advise on how to make the most of the latest technology in a way that fits with your home, lifestyle and budget, from the size of radiators to a boiler and smart heating thermostats and, if required, install a full central heating system. Boilers account for around 60 per cent of annual energy bills, so efficiency is key. The latest smart heating control devices allow you to control and programme your heating and hot water from your smartphone, wherever you are. The devices know how long your home takes to warm up and cool down, so only heat it when needed. They also allow you to set different temperatures for different times of the day. Cavity wall insulation: This is the quickest and most effective way you can make your home warmer and cheaper to heat because walls typically account for about 33 per cent of lost heat. John Lewis takes care of everything from estimating to installation, which requires a series of holes to be drilled in the outside of the house and insulation material injected into the cavity, so there is no disruption inside the house. This sort of insulation should pay for itself within two-three years.

and how much they would save on their bills by having different measures installed.” It’s not just an audit of the property, but how you use energy.” Tom came to my terraced Victorian cottage in Staple Hill and arrived on time and carrying a selection of equipment. This included a ladder, which he used to inspect loft spaces, a clever laser device to measure the size of rooms and windows, and an iPad into which he entered the statistics. Friendly, informative, and quietly confident, Tom spent about an hour and a half in my two-bedroom house, though surveys of larger houses might take up to two hours. After an initial tour, I left him alone to get on with his job, his unobtrusive presence and good manners putting me entirely at ease. With obvious enthusiasm, Tom answered my questions clearly, and without jargon so I could easily understand. A couple of days later, a detailed, six-page PDF document dropped into my inbox. In it is all the technical information, which is well presented and easy to understand, and a personal statement from Tom which read: “As we discussed, the house is quite snug and warm already. Being a mid terrace, it does not lose heat to the outside as quickly as houses with more exposed external wall. “You also have a new, highly efficient heating system, which means that you only

burn the minimum amount of gas required to bring the house to temperature. “However, there are improvements you can make to improve your property further and I have included these in the report. I also recommend that you get the insulation in the rear loft rearranged as it is not laid evenly. Moreover, you could insulate and draft proof both loft hatches to minimise heat loss and draughts this way.” Tom is pleased that my radiators all have thermostatic controls and I’ve just had a new combi boiler fitted and the heating system flushed, so there’s nothing to be done on that score (thank heavens – it was quite expensive enough!). But Tom says I should invest in low-energy light bulbs at a minimal cost of £30. On a slightly larger scale, he suggests cavity wall insulation for the newer part of the house (the original part has solid walls) and points out that, although both the loft spaces are insulated, both hatches are not. He estimates that, if I follow his advice, I’ll save about £100 a year. To book an appointment with the store’s energy efficiency advisor, or find out more about the service, including the self-assessment energy efficiency calculator, visit www.johnlewis.com/energyefficiency. Alternatively, call 0117 9581 870, 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday, to talk to the advisor.

Loft insulation: A poorly insulated loft can waste up to a quarter of a home’s heat. John Lewis takes care of everything from estimating to fitting and can also clear your loft and lay insulated boards, to create more storage space, while being energy efficient. Solar panels: Also known as solar photovoltaics (PV), these panels capture the sun’s energy and convert it into electricity. John Lewis advisors will be able to tell you if solar panels are suitable for your home and, if so, arrange a full technical survey and design and manage the installation. Sunlight is free, so once you’ve paid for the initial installation your electricity costs will be reduced and you’ll be paid for the electricity you generate through the Government’s Feed-In Tariff. Low-energy lighting: There are two main alternatives – CFLs (compact fluorescents) and LEDs (light emitting diodes). The latter are the more expensive option, but save more money in the long term. The easiest way to save on lighting bills is to turn off lights when they’re not in use.

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Have your say in creating a feel-good garden Ohyklupun Jypz{vs nhyklu klzpnuly Isp [tp{o l wshpuz {oh{ {ol zljyl{ {v jylh{pun h z|jjlzzm|s v|{kvvy zwhjl pz {v ~vyr jsvzls ~p{o iv{o {ol nhyklu v~uly huk {ol uh{|yhs shukzjhwl6

o you have plans for your garden but don’t know where to begin? In my experience, the garden owner plays an important role in the design process because you live with your garden and understand it intimately. Are there particular problems to deal with, such as poor drainage, too much shade or the lack of a seating area? And does the space meet your needs? It might be that the garden suited you a few years ago, but the arrival of children – and their bikes and scooters – has changed it from a sun-bathing haven into a mud bath? When we start the design process, the most important thing is to talk to our client and really understand what is required from their outdoor space. Only then can we can begin to make solid plans.

One of the key starting points is to established the aspect; in other words, what direction does the garden face, and when during the day, and where, does sunlight fall? This will affect where seating, planting and play areas can be positioned. Another thing to consider is how to move around the garden. This is important in both practical and aesthetic senses. Paths can be laid out in a way that connects A to B, while also influencing how parts of the garden are viewed. Other important things to look at include unity – does the style of the materials, plants and colours go with, and complement, the style, period and colour of your house? Also, are there any views you would like to hide or expose? And is the garden balanced? Sometimes all the tall, or “heavy” features are gathered on one side, for example.

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy 9?4 :89<

Meanwhile, gardens of new homes can often be flat, so it makes sense to create a height dynamic, with structures like pergolas, or maybe through an investment in a semi-mature tree. A focal point can be important in drawing the eye and pulling the design together. This could be anything from a sculpture to a stand-out plant, or water feature. Finally, planting is essential to a beautiful garden and really determines the level of future maintenance. If you don’t know much about plants, then some research would be wise. The trick is to choose the right plant for each place. For example, you want to avoid creating “blobs,” where naturally large shrubs are cut to size, losing their natural form and engulfing all the other plants. Sometimes it’s best to go to a small garden centre and ask the staff for advice about the

fully-grown size of a plant before determining where to position it. The saving grace about planting is that if you don’t get it right first time, you can move things around and experiment. We have noticed that we are developing a distinct style as designers, based upon our premise that, where possible, we strive to make gardens that meet the needs of the people we are designing for and we try to work with the existing natural landscape. For instance, we find that a bank instead of a wall can often look really natural, support a change in level and cost a lot less than a retaining wall. We love to create flowing gardens that feel good to be in. If you have any questions about garden design, or other gardening issues, contact Ali at Secret Garden, via email to info@secretgardenweb.co.uk, or visit www.secretgardenweb.co.uk for more information.

Contemporary Italian dining at Filini bar & restaurant, Radisson Blu Hotel, Bristol Fresh and mouthwatering dishes from the heart of Italy and Sardinia

You’ll find Filini at Radisson Blu Hotel Broad Quay, Bristol BS1 4BY, United Kingdom tel +44 (0) 117 934 9500 www.radissonblu.com/hotel-bristol www.filinirestaurantbristol.co.uk Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy 9?4 :89<

18-19 Elton Road, Clevedon, Somerset, BS21 7EH

www.hawthornsretirement.co.uk

Retirement dreaming? Wake up to the benefits of renting at ‘The Hawthorns’ FINDING a practical solution which matches the quality of your retirement living dream may be easier said than done – and renting may not automatically spring to the top of your list of possible solutions. However, increasing numbers of UK retirees are discovering what their counterparts in America and Australia found out a few years back – that renting your retirement home offers many advantages over continued property ownership. Even more are discovering how you can continue to benefit from both! Hawthorns Retirement has brought its highly successful American formula for retirement living to the UK at Eastbourne, Clevedon and Braintree. These developments, in a nutshell, offer you continued independent living, none of the worries of home ownership and total flexibility to change your lifestyle at a month’s notice should circumstances dictate. And all this is achieved by renting your retirement home at The Hawthorns.

Call 01275 790060

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Your monthly rental includes all your many monthly expenses including all your meals and snacks, utility bills, housekeeping, maintenance – even a free mini-bus to take you to the shops and back. If you sit down and calculate what you are spending on all those items living in your own home, the rental fees appears very reasonable indeed. As well as the financial argument, life at The Hawthorns offers the added benefits of security, companionship and the flexibility of handing in just one month’s notice of your decision to leave. Whilst many residents fund this idyllic retirement lifestyle from the proceeds of the sale of their home, many others opt to rent out their own property and fund their new-found lifestyle from the rental income, maintaining their property as part of their estate. Maybe you should wake up to the benefits of renting!

or pop in and visit us at: 18-19 Elton Road, Clevedon, North Somerset, BS21 7EH

TELEVISION

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TV PICKS

THE VOICE UK 7pm, BBC1

Emma Willis and Marvin Humes front the second round of the allsinging, chair-spinning talent contest, with coaches Kylie Minogue, Tom Jones, Will.i.am and Ricky Wilson.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 The Good Cook (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Live Snooker: The Masters (S,HD). The first semi-final from Alexandra Palace, London. 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 5.35 Dynamo: Magician Impossible (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

TAKE ME OUT 8.30pm, ITV

Paddy McGuinness presents as a PE teacher from Scunthorpe, a farmer from Inverness, a Birmingham student and a Team GB taekwondo athlete disembark from the love lift in the hope of impressing 30 single women. All four will be turning on the charm to land a date on the Isle of Fernandos.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.45 Film: Sodom and Gomorrah (S) (1962). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 9.10 Life on Earth (R,S,HD). 10.05 Life on Earth (R,S,HD). 11.00 Fred Dibnahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Made in Britain (R,S). 11.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off (R,S,HD). 2.00 The A to Z of TV Cooking (S). 2.45 Film: Ensign Pulver (S) (1964). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.30 Live Snooker: The Masters (S,HD).

SPLASH! 7pm, ITV

Musician Paul Young, TOWIE star Dan Osborne, comic Patrick Monahan, model Danielle Lloyd and MP Penny Mordaunt vie for the next two semi-final spots under the tutelage of Tom Daley.

ITV

6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Dinner Date (R,S). 10.30 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 11.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.45 Show Me the Telly (R,S,HD). 12.45 Film: Columbo: The Murder of a Rock Star (S) (1991). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.45 Midsomer Murders (R,S,HD). 4.45 Regional News (S). 4.55 ITV News and Weather (S). 5.10 Film: Despicable Me (S,HD) (2010). Drama, with the voice of Steve Carell. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

QI XL 10.30pm, BBC2

Extended edition of the comedy quiz on which actress and TV and radio presenter Liza Tarbuck, comedienne Susan Calman and broadcaster Sandi Toksvig join regular panellist Alan Davies. Host Stephen Fry asks a range of questions on a kaleidoscope of topics beginning with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;kâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

Channel 4

6.15 The American Football Show: Road to the Super Bowl (R,S). 7.05 Trans World Sport (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S). 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11.25 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.25 The Taste (R,S,HD). The contestants make a prawn cocktail. 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S). Live coverage from Ascot and Haydock Park. 4.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 10.10 Power Rangers: Megaforce (S,HD). 10.45 Slugterra (R,S,HD). 11.10 Access. 11.20 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (R,S,HD). 12.40 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Worst Holiday Horrors (R,S). 1.45 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 2.45 Film: Columbo: Murder Under Glass (S) (1978). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.10 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 5.10 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). Part two of two. Mark finds himself in grave danger.

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S). 7/17. A student falls to her death. 7.45 NCIS (R,S). 5/24. The body of a lance corporal is discovered in an empty house.

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7.30 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Killer Storms (R,S,HD). Feature-length documentary-drama telling the story of five major storms that battered the nation during 2012. Each of them carried a deadly threat, from hurricaneforce winds to flash flooding, and this programme hears from people who survived them. It combines archive footage with reconstruction and satellite images to piece together how these extreme weather events were formed, what made them unique and the impact they had.

â&#x2013;ź

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 7pm 6.10 Mr & Mrs Murder (S,HD). 3/13. Charlie and Nicola investigate the murder of a fashion designer. Australian comedy drama, starring Shaun Micallef and Kat Stewart.

7.00 The Voice UK (S,HD). 2/14. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

Speed with Guy Martin, 6.30pm 6.05 News (S). 6.30 Speed with Guy Martin (R,S,HD). 2/4. The racer attempts to set the world record for riding a motorcycle on water.

8.20 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins (S,HD). 3/8. Nick Knowles hosts the game show in which two pairs of strangers compete by listing as much as they know about given subjects. Including the Lotto and Thunderball draws.

â&#x2013;ź

after

7.00 Live Snooker: The Masters (S,HD). Hazel Irvine presents coverage of the second semifinal from Alexandra Palace, London, where the line-up for the final will be confirmed. Third seed Mark Selby prevailed over 12th seed Graeme Dott with a 6-5 victory in last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s concluding semi-final, earning him a chance to claim the title in a contest against Neil Robertson. With commentary by Dennis Taylor, Ken Doherty, Stephen Hendry and John Virgo, and analysis by Steve Davis and John Parrott. Subsequent programmes subject to change.

The Jonathan Ross Show, 9.45pm

9.10 Casualty (S,HD). 21/48. New doctor Cal goes to the rescue of a girl in a limo hanging precariously off a bridge, while Ethan uncovers the truth about a student whose sight is endangered by flying glass.

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 Flog It! (R,S). 39/60. Paul Martin meets people hoping to make a profit from their antiques in Derby.

10.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.20 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights of the latest Premier League clashes, including Arsenal v Fulham at the Emirates Stadium and Liverpool v Aston Villa at Anfield. Followed by National Lottery Update.

10.30 QI XL (S,HD). 16/16. See Choices Above.

10.45 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather.

10.00 Knowing (S,HD) (2009). Widowed astrophysicist John Koestler decodes a page of numbers revealing the dates of past and future global disasters. While racing to avert a succession of catastrophes, he realises the numbers point toward a final apocalypse. Mystery thriller, starring Nicolas

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QI XL, 10.30pm

6.15 Reflex (S,HD). 2/6. Shane Richie hosts the game show in which families from Blackpool and Carlisle battle each other in a series of physical and mental challenges.

11.45 The Football League Show (S). Manish Bhasin presents highlights and all the goals from todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fixtures in the Championship, League One and League Two, including Leeds United v Leicester City.

11.15 Howl (S,HD) (2010). Fact-based drama recreating the obscenity trial of beat poet Allen Ginsberg alongside an animated adaptation of his counter-culture epic. Starring James Franco. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.00 Burn After Reading (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

Cage, Rose Byrne and Chandler Canterbury. See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Casualty, 9.10pm

1.05 Weatherview (S,HD). 1.10 BBC News (S,HD).

12.35 Snooker Extra (S,HD). Hazel Irvine presents extended highlights of the opening semi-final of the Masters at Alexandra Palace in London. With commentary by Dennis Taylor, Ken Doherty, Stephen Hendry and John Virgo, and analysis by Steve Davis and John Parrott. 2.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.45 Jackpot247 Viewers are offered the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with an entertaining mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. Featuring a variety of prizes and promotions. 3.00 Ladette to Lady: Australia (R,S). 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

7.00 Splash! (S,HD). 3/7. See Choices Above.

8.30 Take Me Out (S,HD). 3/8. See Choices Above.

9.45 The Jonathan Ross Show (S,HD). 3/10. The host is joined by comedian and actor Russell Brand, X Factor host Dermot Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Leary, Birds of a Feather star Linda Robson and musician James Blunt, who also performs in the studio.

9.00 Hostages (S,HD). 2/15. See Choices Above.

12.20 Film: Panic Room (S,HD) (2002). A mother and daughter become trapped in a specially constructed sealed room when burglars break into their home and refuse to leave. Thriller, with Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.15 Southland (R,S,HD). A gang war erupts across the city. 3.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

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8.40 NCIS (R,S). 6/24. Kidnappers strike on Halloween, wounding a marine sergeant and snatching his daughter â&#x20AC;&#x201C; leaving the team members wondering why anyone would try to extort money from someone on such a modest salary. 9.35 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 9.45 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 16/22. Highlights of the famous residentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; past 24 hours under the all-seeing eye of Big Brother, including a second chance to see Fridayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eviction.

10.45 Celebrity Big Brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bit on the Psych (HD). Rylan Clark is joined by a panel led by former celebrity housemate Carol McGiffin and Iain Lee, as well as psychologists, bodylanguage experts and celebrity fans, to analyse the behaviour of the housemates.

12.00 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Baby Face Brides (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hanaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Hanaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Helpline (R,S).

When Ellen disobeys Duncan’s orders, he threatens to kill a member of her family and the surgeon realises she cannot trust anyone – not even those employed to protect the president.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Coronation Street (HD). 9.05 Emmerdale (HD). 12.00 Film: Curly Sue (HD) (1991). ●● 2.00 Film: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (HD) (2005). Comedy drama, starring Amber Tamblyn. ●●● 4.20 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 5.20 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 5.50 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

THE MAGALUF WEEKENDER 11.35pm, ITV2

Buckinghamshire trio Ollie, Toby and Jake and Preston-based students Holly and Lauren check into the Lively Hotel, and waste no time in getting to know the reps better. Meanwhile, new girl Ali struggles to settle into her new lifestyle, resulting in a bitter war of words with head rep Imogen.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 Make It or Break It (R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 7.55 Charmed (R). 8.55 Glee (R,HD). 10.10 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 1.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 2.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.30 Film: Dragonball Evolution (HD) (2009). ●● 5.10 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 5.40 Rude(ish) Tube (R).

Sky1

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club. 9.00 Game Changers. 10.00 Soccer AM. 12.00 WWE Superstars. 1.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama (R,S,HD). 4.00 David Attenborough’s Kingdom of Plants (R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

HOSTAGES 9pm, Channel 4

BURN AFTER READING 11pm, ITV

KNOWING 10pm, Channel 4

Widowed astrophysicist John Koestler decodes a page of numbers revealing the dates of past and future global disasters. Thriller, starring Nicolas Cage.

CIA analyst Osborne Cox resigns from his job and writes a tell-all book as revenge on his former bosses. Coen brothers comedy, with Brad Pitt.

GOLD

6.15 Jeeves and Wooster 8.20 Jeeves and Wooster 9.35 Jeeves and Wooster 10.45 Jeeves and Wooster 11.55 One Foot in the Grave 12.35 One Foot in the Grave 1.15 One Foot in the Grave 1.55 One Foot in the Grave 2.35 The Vicar of Dibley 3.25 The Black Adder 4.15 The Black Adder 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 5.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

The Incredible Hulk, 6.50pm

Dragonball Evolution, 3.30pm

Jumanji, 7.55pm

Blackadder II, 7pm

6.20 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities. 6.50 The Incredible Hulk (HD) (2008). A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

6.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 6.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). Ted misses a job interview.

6.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 6.55 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Grampa revisits his days as a feared TV wrestler.

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp A song about The Bill inspired by Mary Poppins. 6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Leonard, Raj and Howard kick Sheldon off their quiz team. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

7.25 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Flanders is plagued with guilt after punching Homer. 7.55 Jumanji (1995). A man who has been trapped

7.00 Blackadder II. A bloodthirsty bishop menaces Edmund. 7.40 Blackadder II. Edmund is challenged to a drinking contest.

8.00 The Tomorrow People (R,HD). Stephen appeals for the group to help him as Ultra tries to probe his brain, but when John rebuffs the request, Cara secretly goes to his aid.

8.20 Blackadder II Edmund and Lord Melchett are kidnapped by a master of disguise, but the Queen decides to pay only one of the ransom demands. Guest starring Hugh Laurie.

9.00 The World Is Not Enough (HD) (1999). James Bond is assigned to protect the heiress of an oil dynasty after her father is killed in a bombing at MI6 headquarters. The attack is the work of an infamous terrorist who is unable to feel pain after surviving a gunshot to his head, and who now intends to destroy the world’s supply of oil. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Robert Carlyle, Sophie Marceau and Robbie Coltrane. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt. ●●●●

9.00 Top Gun (HD) (1986). An arrogant pilot’s maverick flying skills earn him a place in an elite US Navy school, where he comes into conflict with a fellow student and falls for his civilian instructor. A tragedy in the air threatens to end his military career – until an 10.00 The Kumars (R,HD). The international incident home-made family chat offers him a chance to show returns to TV after redeem himself. Aerial a seven-year break, with action adventure, aspiring star Sanjeev still starring Tom Cruise, at the helm, while Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Grandma and dad Anthony Edwards and Ashwin join in with the Tom Skerritt. ●●● questioning.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.30 Ringside (HD). 7.30 Premier League Preview (HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). 2.30 Saturday Team Talk (HD). 3.00 Soccer Saturday (S,HD). 5.00 Live Saturday Night Football (HD). Liverpool v Aston Villa (kick-off 5.30pm).

Live Football, 5pm

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes: Revenge of the Fifth (S). Blunders in Hollywood films. 7.15 Top Gear (R,S,HD). A vehicle for elderly people is designed. 8.20 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (S,HD) (2005). Fantasy adventure, starring Tilda Swinton. ●●●● 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 Family Guy (R,S).

12.05 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 Family Guy (R,S). 1.10 Family Guy (R,S). 1.35 Family Guy (R,S). 1.55 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.25 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 2.55 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 3.25 Great Movie Mistakes: 8.00 SNF – Game of the Day Revenge of the Fifth (R,S).

(HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the day’s top Premier League match.

9.00 Gremlins (1984). A teenager is given a strange, cute creature as a Christmas present by his eccentric father and warned to keep it away from water, not to feed it after midnight, or expose it to direct light. However, a chance dousing causes the furball to spawn a horde 10.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee of murderous little presents extended monsters, and their highlights from the devilish antics bring Premier League, mayhem to a small town. allowing viewers to Comedy horror, with access the latest round of Zach Galligan, Phoebe top-flight fixtures, Cates, Hoyt Axton and including Arsenal v Polly Holliday. ●●●● Fulham.

11.10 The Big Bang Theory 11.35 The Magaluf (R,HD). The arrival of Weekender (R,HD). See Sheldon’s twin sister Choices Above. causes a stir. 11.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Penny plans a party for Leonard.

11.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). The Tactical Aid Group raids a flat.

11.10 Men Behaving Badly 11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). Deborah gets passionate Leeds United v Leicester with Tony. Comedy, City. Action from the starring Neil Morrissey. Championship fixture at 11.50 Men Behaving Badly Elland Road. Tony is forced to hide in a water tank.

12.35 Film: Duplicity (HD) (2009). Two former spies with a romantic past together go head to head working in counter-intelligence for rival multi-national corporations. Thriller, with Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. Including FYI Daily. ●●● 2.55 Teleshopping 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 1.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). Following police officers in Hammersmith and Fulham. 2.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 3.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).

12.30 Film: Gremlins (1984). A teenager is given a strange, cute creature as a Christmas present by his eccentric father and warned to keep it away from water, not to feed it after midnight, or expose it to direct light. Comedy horror, with Zach Galligan. ●●●● 2.25 Men Behaving Badly

12.10 Rude Tube (R,HD). Alex Zane presents a countdown of internet stars. 1.15 My Mad Fat Diary (R,HD). 2.15 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.45 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.10 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.40 Glee (R,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

BBC3

BBC4

7.00 Wild China (R,HD). The country’s diverse wildlife. 8.00 A Very British Murder with Lucy Worsley (R,HD). The historian turns her attention to the interwar period. Last in the series. 9.00 The Bridge (HD). The investigation grows, offering up new leads. 10.00 The Bridge (HD). Another poisoning is connected to the case. 11.00 Slade at the BBC (R). Noddy Holder introduces a compilation of the band’s performances. 12.00 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 12.40 Big in America: British Hits in the USA (R). Featuring the Cure, Supertramp, Coldplay and the Dave Clark Five. 1.40 Wild China (R,HD). 2.40 A Very British Murder with Lucy Worsley (R,HD).

SATURDAY January 18

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD). A round-up of the latest football goals from the top flight, Championship, League One and League Two. 1.00 Spanish Football (HD). Real Betis v Real Madrid. 2.00 Live International Fight Night (HD). Lucian Bute v Jean Pascal. 5.30 FL72 Highlights (HD).

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Rhu|hy 9?4 :89<

TV PICKS

CALL THE MIDWIFE 8pm, BBC1

The nuns and midwives move into their new premises, Jenny is concerned about a patient’s mental state and Chummy struggles to adjust to life as a mother.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.35 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions (S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.15 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Moving On (R,S,HD). 2.00 Bargain Hunt (S). 3.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 Lifeline (S,HD). 3.55 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 4.30 Hidden Kingdoms (R,S,HD). 5.30 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

THE MUSKETEERS 9pm, BBC1

Drama set in 17th-century Paris, following the adventures of the soldiers assigned to protect king and country. Young swordsman d’Artagnan arrives in Paris seeking out the man responsible for killing his father – a quest that brings him into conflict with one of the king’s guards. Luke Pasqualino stars.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.45 Film: Blessed (S) (2008). Drama, starring James Nesbitt. ●●● 8.05 Monty Don’s French Gardens (R,S,HD). 9.05 Countryfile (R,S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 11.30 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off (R,S,HD). 12.30 The Great Sport Relief Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.30 Live Snooker: The Masters (S,HD). The opening eight frames of the final. 5.15 Ski Sunday (S). See Choices Above.

DANCING ON ICE 6.15pm, ITV

SKI SUNDAY 5.15pm, BBC2

Having progressed from the first round of performances, the 10 remaining celebrity skaters now go head to head on the ice. Presented by Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley.

ITV

6.00 Pat & Stan (R,S). 6.25 Dino Dan (R,S). 6.50 Canimals (R,S). 7.10 Om Nom Stories (R,S). 7.15 Sooty (R,S). 7.25 Om Nom Stories (R,S). 7.30 Scrambled! (S). 9.25 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 10.20 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 11.20 ITV News (S). 11.30 Inside the National Trust (S,HD). 12.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 1.25 Catchphrase (R,S,HD). 2.10 Splash! (R,S,HD). 3.40 Film: Dr No (S,HD) (1962). See Choices Above. ●●●● 5.50 News (S).

Graham Bell and Ed Leigh present action from the men’s downhill in Wengen, Switzerland, which saw Frenchman Johan Clarey become the first man to exceed 100mph in a World Cup race. Plus, Ed looks back at the life of skier and BASE jumper Shane McConkey, who died in 2009.

Channel 4

6.00 The Treacle People (R,S). 6.10 The Hoobs (R,S). 7.05 Snowdon Race (S). 8.00 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 1.25 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.55 The Simpsons (R,S). 3.55 Film: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (S,HD) (1989). Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis and Matt Frewer. ●●●● 5.45 Deal or No Deal (S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 Slugterra (R,S,HD). 11.00 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). 11.30 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 12.30 Film: The In-Laws (S,HD) (2003). ●● 2.25 Film: Something’s Gotta Give (S,HD) (2003). Romantic comedy, starring Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. ●●● 4.55 Film: Sweet Home Alabama (S,HD) (2002). Romantic comedy, starring Reese Witherspoon and Josh Lucas. ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Live Snooker: The Masters (S,HD). Hazel Irvine presents concluding coverage of the final from Alexandra Palace, London, where a maximum of 11 frames will be played to decide this year’s champion. Mark Selby claimed his third Masters title with a 10-6 victory over Neil Robertson in 2013, winning five frames to the Australian’s three in the second session. With commentary by Dennis Taylor, Ken Doherty, Stephen Hendry and John Virgo, and analysis by Steve Davis and John Parrott. Subsequent programmes subject to change.

7.45 All Star Family Fortunes (S,HD). 4/10. Birds of a Feather star Lesley Joseph and comedian Stephen K Amos team up with their families in an attempt to win money for charity.

7.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast (R,S,HD). 2/6. Sienna Miller shares her recipe for Tuscan duck ragu.

7.00 Legally Blonde (S,HD) (2001). See Choices Above. ●●●

8.30 Dancing on Ice: The Skate Off (S,HD). 3/10. The lowestscoring celebrities perform crowd-pleasing routines from their original series in a bid for survival, and one of them will be hanging up their skates for good.

8.00 Speed with Guy Martin (S). 4/4. The racing fan builds a prototype toboggan and heads to the Pyrenees, where he attempts to break the record for the world’s fastest gravitypowered sled. Last in the series.

8.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

9.00 Mr Selfridge (S,HD). 1/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Don’t Look Down (S). The death-defying new craze of urban free-climbing, where daredevils scale cranes and buildings without safety equipment and hang hundreds of feet above the ground.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 17/22. The remaining housemates embark on their final week, knowing only one of them can be crowned Celebrity Big Brother winner on Friday night.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 Birds of a Feather (R,S,HD). 3/8. Sharon makes a discovery when she tries to bed down in the loft. 10.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Neil Morrissey (R,S,HD). 3/7. The actor discusses some revealing topics.

10.00 Haywire (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. A mercenary is employed by the US government to carry out secret assignments, but on her latest mission, she is set up by one of the operatives who hired her. Action thriller, starring Gina Carano and Ewan McGregor. ●●●●

10.00 The Lake House (S,HD) (2006). Two strangers who exchange letters fall in love – but discover they are existing two years apart. Romantic fantasy, starring Sandra Bullock, Keanu Reeves and Christopher Plummer. ●●●

▼ ▼

Autopsy: Whitney … 11.55pm

7.00 Countryfile Winter Special (S,HD). The team explores the countryside during the harshest of seasons.

▼

6.40 News (S).

8.00 Call the Midwife (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

▼

after

Jamie and Jimmy’s … 7pm

6.00 ITV News and Weather (S). 6.15 Dancing on Ice (S,HD). 3/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Musketeers (S,HD). 1/10. See Choices Above.

▼

River Monsters, 11.45pm

6.00 Flog It! (R,S). 7/60. Paul Martin meets people eager to make a profit selling their valuables in Swindon, assisted by experts David Barby and Will Axon.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 10.25 Match of the Day 2 (S,HD). Mark Chapman reviews the latest Premier League action, featuring Chelsea v Manchester United at Stamford Bridge and Swansea City v Tottenham Hotspur at the Liberty Stadium.

▼

Live Snooker: The Masters, 7pm

6.00 Fake or Fortune? (S,HD). 1/4. New series. A painting that could be by French postimpressionist Edouard Vuillard.

11.25 The Revolution Will Be Televised (S,HD). 3/6. Dale Maily attends the G8 summit. 11.55 Shifty (S,HD) (2008). Drama, starring Riz Ahmed, Daniel Mays and Jason Flemyng. ●●●●

11.00 A Serious Man (S,HD) (2009). A mild-mannered professor seeks spiritual advice as a series of disasters disrupts his life. The Coen brothers’ 1960s-set black comedy, starring Michael Stuhlbarg. ●●●●

11.45 River Monsters (R,S,HD). 4/7. Jeremy Wade travels to Texas on a hunt to reveal the truth about the notorious alligator gar, a species of fish reputed to have committed a number of violent attacks on humans.

11.45 Domino (S,HD) (2005). A high society girl grows tired of her lifestyle and becomes a bounty hunter, with her exploits documented in a TV show. Thriller, with Keira Knightley and Mickey Rourke. ●●●

11.55 Autopsy: Whitney Houston’s Last Hours (R,S,HD). 2/3. Dr Richard Shepherd investigates the death of the singer in February 2012.

▼

6 7 8 9

Countryfile Winter Special, 7pm

1.20 Weatherview (S,HD). 1.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.40 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). John Craven and Helen Skelton head to Surrey, where he explores the countryside favoured by Arthur Conan Doyle and she talks to an artist with an all-consuming passion for horses. 1.35 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Jac and Jonny struggle to cope. 2.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.10 The Store Home shopping. 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside, where he invites American guests to air their differences, and dispenses his own judgment on the situation. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S).

1.55 Southland (R,S,HD). 2.40 Film: Internal Affairs (S,HD) (1990). A zealous investigator tries to bring to justice a corrupt cop whose criminal activities extend to murder. Crime thriller, starring Richard Gere and Andy Garcia. ●●●● 4.30 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.25 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.55 SuperCasino 3.05 Living with ADHD: Louis Smith (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.05 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

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After

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Rose returns from America to celebrate Selfridges’ fifth anniversary, having grown apart from Harry over the years, while Lady Mae’s husband turns up unexpectedly. Starring Aidan McArdle.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R). 6.45 Emmerdale (R,HD). 9.30 Coronation Street (R,HD). 12.00 Take Me Out (R,HD). 1.10 Dinner Date: Australia (R). 2.10 You’ve Been Framed! Top 100 Holidays (R). 3.10 Film: Free Willy (HD) (1993). ●●● 5.30 Film: The Perfect Storm (HD) (2000). Factbased disaster drama, starring George Clooney. ●●●

The Fast and the ... 10pm

8.00 You’ve Been Framed and Famous! (R). Harry Hill narrates a selection of the best celebrity lookalike clips sent in by viewers.

9.00 The Magaluf Weekender (HD). Bournemouth-based brothers Ryan and Louis head to the Lively Hotel with their best friend John, and head rep Imogen loses patience with her colleagues.

RUDE TUBE 10pm, E4

Alex Zane presents a countdown of internet A-listers – people who have achieved celebrity or infamy just by appearing on the web. The show features the so-called Simon Cowell of online songs, a man who threw a house party in a furniture shop and the Jesus lookalike who was removed from a darts tournament.

6.00 Switched (R). 6.20 Make It or Break It (R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R). 9.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R). 9.55 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 12.30 Revenge (R,HD). 1.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 3.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 4.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (R,HD). 5.00 The Tomorrow People (R,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power (HD). 7.00 Glee (R,S). 9.00 Oscar Nomination Show (HD). 9.30 Jordan & Perri’s Ultimate Block Party 10.00 WWE Superstars (R). 11.00 WWE: Experience. 12.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 1.00 Film: Jumanji (1995). ●●●● 3.05 David Attenborough’s Kingdom of Plants (R,S,HD). 4.00 Oscar Nomination Show (R,S,HD). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

MR SELFRIDGE 9pm, ITV

DR NO 3.40pm, ITV

LEGALLY BLONDE 7pm, Channel 5

James Bond investigates a criminal mastermind in the Caribbean plotting to sabotage the US space programme. Spy thriller, with Sean Connery and Ursula Andress.

GOLD

6.20 One Foot in the Grave 8.10 One Foot in the Grave 8.50 The Black Adder 9.35 The Black Adder 10.20 Outnumbered 11.00 Outnumbered 11.40 Outnumbered 12.20 Only Fools and Horses 1.40 Blackadder II 2.20 Blackadder II 3.00 Blackadder II 3.40 John Le Mesurier: It’s All Been Rather Lovely 5.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

Big Momma’s House, 8pm

Banshee, 11pm

Only Fools and Horses, 9pm

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,HD). Comedy, starring Andy Samberg. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Jordan & Perri’s Ultimate Block Party 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). With the guest voice of Liam Neeson.

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp How the soaps have celebrated Valentine’s Day. 6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon is hurt when Professor Proton contacts Leonard. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (S). Mr Burns tries to become a superhero. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Marge and Homer make plans for the future.

7.00 Outnumbered Ben shows prospective buyers around the house. Comedy, starring Hugh Dennis. 7.40 Outnumbered

8.00 Big Momma’s House (HD) (2000). A dedicated FBI agent will stop at nothing to catch a dangerous escaped convict, even if it means donning a fat suit and drag to pose as the obese old woman who lives across the road from the felon’s girlfriend. Comedy, with Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Paul Giamatti, Jascha Washington, Terrence Dashon Howard and Ella Mitchell. ●●●

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Homer must save his marriage. 8.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Groundskeeper Willie is made homeless and forced to move in with the family.

8.20 Outnumbered Sue and Pete try to resolve their differences, but Karen is unimpressed by their behaviour, and Ben decides to recreate an assault on Everest.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (S,HD). New series. McGarrett and Wo Fat narrowly escape from prison, but the NLM gunmen are not far behind, while terrorists pin down the location of Kono and Adam’s safehouse.

9.00 Only Fools and Horses The Trotter brothers are guests at a wedding, where they are intrigued to hear their dear departed mother inherited the ill-gotten gains of an East End bank robber – but nobody has ever found the loot.

A dizzy teenager enrols at Harvard to try to prove to her ex-boyfriend that she is not stupid. Comedy, with Reese Witherspoon and Luke Wilson.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 7.30 Game Changers (HD). 8.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). A review of yesterday’s football action. 12.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Swansea City v Tottenham Hotspur (Kick-off 1.30pm). 3.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Chelsea v Manchester United (Kick-off 4.00pm).

Live Super Sunday, 12.30pm

7.00 Premier League 100 Club A profile of Paul Scholes. 7.30 Live NFL (HD). The NFC Championship game (Kick-off TBA). Coverage of the contest featuring the winners of the NFC divisional play-offs, as they vie for a place in the Super Bowl.

12.00 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 12.30 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 1.30 Live at the Electric (HD). 2.00 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.30 Underage & Over the Limit (R,S,HD). 3.30 Bad Education (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 The Man Who Discovered Egypt (R,HD). 8.00 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses (R,HD). The secrets behind three of the country’s longestrunning companies. 9.00 Point Blank (1967). Crime thriller, starring Lee Marvin. ●●●● 10.30 Me and Me Dad: A Portrait of John Boorman. A profile of the film-maker by his daughter Katrine. 11.20 Nelson’s Caribbean HellHole: An Eighteenth Century Navy Graveyard Uncovered (R,HD). 12.20 The Man Who Discovered Egypt (R,HD). 1.20 Born to Be Wild (R,HD). 2.20 Alice Cooper – Brutally Live (R).

January

10.20 Best of Not the Nine 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles O’Clock News (S,HD). New series. The Highlights of the team comes to the aid of comedy show, starring Sam and Deeks, who Rowan Atkinson and have been mercilessly Mel Smith. tortured by Sidorov for information on the 10.55 Best of Not the Nine whereabouts of an O’Clock News undercover Michelle. Highlights of the sketch Starring Chris O’Donnell. show. 11.30 Harry Enfield and 11.00 Banshee (R,S). A Chums Comedy grocery store robbery sketches with the spirals into a hostage funnyman and partners situation at the school, in mirth Paul where Deva and some of Whitehouse and Kathy her friends are serving Burke. detention, overseen by the mayor’s wife.

11.00 Live NFL (HD). The AFC Championship game (Kick-off TBA).

12.10 Film: Harold & Kumar Get the Munchies (HD) (2004). Comedy adventure, starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Paula Garces and Neil Patrick Harris. Including FYI Daily. ●●● 1.55 Totally You’ve Been Framed! (R). 2.45 Teleshopping 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 The Wolf of Wall Street Special (R,S,HD). 12.30 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 1.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 2.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 3.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 4.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).

2.30 NFL – A Football Life (HD). A profile of Matt Millen, the former Oakland Raiders, San Francisco 49ers and Washington Redskins linebacker. 3.30 Premier League 100 Club (HD). A profile of Teddy Sheringham. 4.00 Football Special (HD). 5.30 Premier League 100 Club

12.10 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer The Stotts appear on This Is Your Life. 12.50 Best of Not the Nine O’Clock News Highlights of the sketch show. 1.15 Best of Not the Nine O’Clock News 1.40 Harry Enfield and Chums 2.10 The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes: Revenge of the Fifth (R,S). 7.15 The Voice UK (R,S,HD). 8.35 Monsters vs Aliens (S,HD) (2009). Animated sci-fi comedy, with the voice of Reese Witherspoon. ●●●● 10.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). The criminal who crippled Joe breaks out of jail. 10.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Lois has an image change. 10.45 Uncle (R,S,HD). Comedy, starring Nick Helm. 11.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 11.40 American Dad! (R,S,HD).

SUNDAY

10.00 The Fast and the 10.00 Rude Tube (R,HD). See Furious: Tokyo Drift Choices Above. (HD) (2006). An American teenager is sent to live with his father in Tokyo after a brush with the law, but soon becomes involved in illegal street racing. When he ends up owing money to gangsters after losing a race against a 11.00 The Big Bang Theory driver with Yakuza (R,HD). Penny becomes connections, he has to addicted to an online learn to master the game. Starring Kaley Japanese style of driving Cuoco and Jim Parsons. to win and pay back his 11.30 How I Met Your debts. Adventure, Mother (R,HD). starring Lucas Black. ●● 12.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). Marshall recommends an old friend for a job at his firm. 12.30 My Mad Fat Diary (R,HD). 1.35 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.00 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 2.25 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 3.10 Bob’s Burgers (R,HD). 3.30 Hollyoaks (R).

BBC3

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TV PICKS

THE GREAT INTERIOR DESIGN CHALLENGE 7pm, BBC2

WINTERWATCH 2014 8.30pm, BBC2

In this new series, journalist Tom Dyckhoff presents a competition searching for untapped interior design talent.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Martin Hughes-Games present a new series from their new base at Mar Lodge Estate in the Cairngorms National Park, where they’ll be following the fortunes of golden eagles, red squirrels, otters and red deer as they cope with this most challenging season.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50 Real Lives Reunited (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.05 Sign Zone: Britain and the Sea 10.05 Sign Zone: Britain’s Empty Homes 10.35 Click (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live International Bowls (S). 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

THE BLETCHLEY CIRCLE 9pm, ITV

Part one of two. When Millie is kidnapped by Soho gangster types, Alice suspects the incident could be connected to her dealings on the black market and avoids involving the police.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S). The team visits Ludlow, Shropshire. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). New series. With Paul Hollywood and Mark Benton. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

FOOD UNWRAPPED 8.30pm, Channel 4

The team travels the globe to explore the secrets behind more mass-produced food. Jimmy Doherty finds out about traditionally matured cheese, Matt Tebbutt investigates the risk of consuming reheated rice, and Kate Quilton heads to Malaysia to look at the production of vanilla extract.

Channel 4

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia (R,S). 11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). Kate finds Georgia unconscious. 2.15 NCIS (R,S). An agent’s body is found badly burned. 3.15 Film: Family Gathering (S) (2010). Drama, starring Natasha Henstridge and Harry Hamlin. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Great British Railway … 6.30pm

A Great Welsh … 8pm

Are You Addicted … 8pm

Robson’s Extreme Fishing … 7pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 106/140. Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 11/20.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 15/22. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Freddie struggles to hide a heartbreaking truth from the rest of the Roscoes.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Nate enlists Ricky and Heath to help him search for Josh. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker. 7.30 Regional Programme (S). Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 1/12. See Choices Above.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Sam suspects Declan has set Rachel up. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Hayley decides that today is to be her last.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge (S,HD). The United Arab Emirates and Oman. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

The One Show, 7pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Max confronts Jake, convinced Lauren is pregnant. 8.30 Police: Shooting to Kill? – Panorama (S,HD). The controversy surrounding police firearms units.

8.00 University Challenge (S,HD). 26/37. The second of the quarter-final matches. 8.30 Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 1/4. See Choices Above.

8.00 A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones (S,HD). 3/8. The funnyman visits Pembrokeshire. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Hayley prepares to take the lethal cocktail of drugs.

8.00 Are You Addicted to Sugar? Channel 4 Dispatches (S). The sugar content of the nation’s favourite foods. 8.30 Food Unwrapped (S). 1/5. See Choices Above.

8.00 Go Hard or Go Home (S,HD). Hannah White prepares four members of the WI to take part in a triathlon. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 New Tricks (R,S). 9/10. The team reinvestigates the 15-year-old murder of a boxer after the gun used to kill him is discovered at the scene of an armed robbery. Guest starring Maggie O’Neill (Shameless) and Chloe Howman (Casualty).

9.30 Russia on Four Wheels (S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two. Justin Rowlatt and Anita Rani set off from Sochi on separate road trips across Russia, examining whether the country has left its Cold War past behind. Concludes on Wednesday.

9.00 The Bletchley Circle (S,HD). 3/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Benefits Street (S). 3/5. Documentary following the lives of people who are heavily reliant on welfare payments, revealing the daily challenges they face in tough economic times.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 18/22. Marcus Bentley narrates another day of tears, tantrums, petty squabbles and outlandish antics, courtesy of the celebrity housemates who really ought to know better.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Accepted (S,HD) (2006). A high-school student denied a place at any of his chosen colleges resolves to set up an educational institution of his own in collaboration with slacker friends. The ingenious misfits go to great lengths to convince their parents of the college’s authenticity, despite its unorthodox curriculum. Comedy, starring Justin Long, Jonah Hill and Adam Herschman. See Choices Above. ●●●

10.00 My Baggy Body (S). The dramatic increase in weightloss surgery in the last decade has left thousands of people with large amounts of excess skin, but with the NHS restricting subsequent cosmetic procedures, many of them are unhappy in their newly slim bodies.

10.00 Helix (S,HD). 1&2/13. See Choices Above.

11.00 The American Football Show: The Road to the Super Bowl (S). Action from the Conference Championship games.

11.50 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). 12/16. Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-the-scenes insights.

12.00 Random Acts (S). Fancy footwork by the Ballet Boyz. 12.05 Speed with Guy Martin (R,S). 1.00 Hostages (R,S,HD). 1.55 World Without End (R,S,HD). 2.50 Coming Up (R,S,HD). 3.20 Dave: Loan Ranger (R,S,HD). 4.15 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.10 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.50 Campus PD (R,S). Officer Ferreira investigates an alcohol overdose victim. 1.10 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Autopsy: Whitney Houston’s Last Hours (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Have I Got Old News for You (R,S,HD). 2/9. Larger-than-life actor Brian Blessed is in the hot seat as Paul Merton and Ian Hislop poke fun at the headlines from April 2013, with the help of comedienne Bridget Christie and politician Ken Livingstone. 11.20 Who Do You Think You Are? USA (S,HD). 2/6. Singer Kelly Clarkson explores her mother’s side of the family, uncovering the story of her great-greatgreat-grandfather, who fought against slavery during the American Civil War.

11.20 Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow (R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two. An expedition through the natural wonder.

12.05 The Graham Norton Show (R,S,HD). With Michael Fassbender, talking about 12 Years a Slave, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom star Idris Elba, actress Olivia Colman and Girls creator Lena Dunham. Music by Keane. 12.50 Weatherview (S,HD). 12.55 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 International Bowls (S). The World Indoor Championships. Highlights of the World Pairs final at the Potters Leisure Resort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk. 1.20 Sign Zone: Trust Me I’m a Doctor (R,S). Michael Mosley and a team of medics investigate the truth behind health stories. 2.20 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

▼

after

12.20 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

“I think TM is the best thing I’ve done in my life … for calm and clarity and my blood-pressure!” Martin Savickas “All my road rage is gone!” Karen Savickas

For an introductory talk at the Bristol

TM Centre…

Call Patrice Gladwin on 0117 914 7127 uk.tm.org

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MAD DOGS 9pm, Sky1

A visit by a policewoman triggers a series of flashbacks, leading the four friends to slowly realise they are implicated in Alvo’s murder – and the only way out is to try to trust one another. Psychological thriller, starring Max Beesley, Philip Glenister, John Simm, Marc Warren and Ben Chaplin.

New drama series, in which a team of scientists travels to a high-tech research facility in the Arctic to investigate a virus outbreak. Sci-fi thriller, starring Billy Campbell and Jordan Hayes.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County (HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 90210 7.10 Ugly Betty 7.55 Charmed (R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea 11.00 Charmed (R). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory 3.00 Made in Chelsea 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

FILM PICKS

HELIX 10pm,Channel 5

PROJECT NIM 9pm, BBC4

GOLD

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

ACCEPTED 10.35pm, ITV

Documentary about a chimpanzee raised as a human child, an experiment that proved dangerous as the animal became stronger and more aggressive.

6.00 To the Manor Born 6.30 As Time Goes By 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 Brittas Empire 10.30 Summer Wine 11.50 Porridge 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.25 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Summer Wine

Ingenious high-school friends denied college places set up their own institution with a rather unorthodox curriculum. Comedy, starring Justin Long and Jonah Hill.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.30 Football League Gold (HD). 10.45 Football Gold (HD). 11.00 Spanish Football (HD). 12.00 International One-Day Cricket (HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.30 Spanish Football (HD). 3.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 4.00 Game Changers (HD). 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).

Fake Reaction, 11pm

Revenge, 9pm

Modern Family, 8pm

Porridge, 6.40pm

Live Football, 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). A woman from London hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon receives a prestigious prize.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Gloria plans a romantic getaway for Jay’s birthday. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. Howard allays Pearl’s natural suspicions. 6.40 Porridge

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). The antics of pink ninjas and someone in a Spider-Man costume. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). Part one of two. Ted invites an old professor to the GNB opening.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Homer receives marital advice from a movie star. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). With the guest voice of Tom Waits.

7.20 Porridge. Godber enters the prison boxing championships. He is hot favourite to win, but Fletcher is given the task of fixing the contest.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie dates Jake’s teacher. Starring Charlie Sheen and Angus T Jones. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Jake bonds with Judith’s new boyfriend.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,HD). American comedy, starring Andy Samberg and Andre Braugher. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,HD). Caroline and Max go to a trendy new restaurant.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Manny has a heart-to-heart with Claire. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Mitchell and Claire’s mother visits.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. The quirky comic reenacts the sinking of the Titanic. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Dogs compete in The Apprentice.

9.00 Mom. New series. Comedy, starring Anna Faris and Allison Janney. A former alcoholic tries to get her life back on track. 9.30 Mom. Christy and Bonnie work through a family crisis.

9.00 Revenge (HD). Emily enlists Father Paul to help persuade Conrad to confess his sins, while Victoria causes a ruckus by bringing an unexpected guest to Nolan’s lavish housewarming party.

9.00 Mad Dogs (R,S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Come Fly with Me. Airport documentary spoof, starring Matt Lucas and David Walliams. 9.40 Come Fly with Me. A wing malfunction delays passengers. Comedy, with Matt Lucas.

6.00 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches, featuring all the goals from the Championship, League One and League Two. 7.00 Live Monday Night Football (HD). West Bromwich Albion v Everton (kick-off 8.00pm). All the action from the Premier League encounter at the Hawthorns. Goals by Shane Long and Gareth McAuley gave the Baggies a 2-0 win in last season’s corresponding fixture and they also held Everton to a goalless draw at Goodison Park in this term’s reverse encounter.

10.00 The Job Lot (R,HD). Comedy set in a job centre, starring Sarah Hadland. 10.30 Plebs (R,HD). Comedy, starring Tom Rosenthal and Joel Fry.

10.00 Banshee (R,S). Carrie 10.00 What Happens in has an encounter with Kavos (R,HD). The Mr Rabbit’s right-hand documentary hears man Olek, and Proctor from girls who let their pays a visit to his hair down when they go estranged family when on holiday to the his niece Rebecca is popular Greek resort, kicked out of her home. and an alcohol-fuelled night out ends in a trip to the emergency room.

10.20 Little Britain. Emily Howard has an X-ray that uncovers her secret, Vicky Pollard ends up in court and Dennis Waterman delivers a birthday message.

11.00 Fake Reaction (R,HD). With Charlotte Crosby, Gemma Cairney, Ivo Graham and Louie Spence. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R).

11.00 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Spartacus: Vengeance 11.00 Little Britain. Andy and 11.00 FL72 Review. A roundLou buy an unusual pet. (R,HD). The friends fight (R,S,HD). The gladiator up of recent matches, Comedy, with Matt Lucas over a ring they believe spots an opportunity for featuring all the goals and David Walliams. was used in The Lord of revenge, and suspicion from the Championship, the Rings. surrounds Glaber. 11.40 Little Britain. Vicky League One and League Historical drama, Pollard finds out she is Two. 11.30 The Big Bang Theory starring Liam McIntyre. pregnant. (R,HD).

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R). Jake forms a bond with Judith’s new boyfriend, who has a boat and a pool – but things turn sour when the relationship ends. 12.45 Take Me Out (R,HD). 1.50 Life’s Funniest Moments (R). 2.10 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 The Tomorrow People (R,HD). 12.55 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (R,HD). 1.55 What Happens in Kavos (R,HD). 2.50 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.15 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 3.35 Bob’s Burgers (R,HD). 4.00 Glee (R,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.15 Spartacus: Vengeance (R,S,HD). The gladiator’s leadership skills are tested. 1.30 Nothing to Declare (R,S). The work of customs officers in Australia. 2.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S).

12.20 Come Fly with Me. Matt Lucas and David Walliams star in this spoof fly-on-the-wall documentary set in a busy airport. In the opening episode, 80-year-old Hetty Wolf takes her first flight. 1.00 Come Fly with Me 1.30 Little Britain 2.00 Little Britain 2.30 Little Britain

BBC3

7.00 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). 7.30 Snog, Marry, Avoid? (R,S,HD). Ellie Taylor visits Liverpool. 8.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). 9.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (S,HD). A ladies’ man and a mummy’s boy head to Koh Phangan. 10.00 Uncle (S,HD). Andy has a day to forget. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Max confronts Jake, convinced Lauren is pregnant. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Uncle (R,S,HD). 1.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 2.00 Underage & Over the Limit (R,S,HD). 3.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather 7.30 Elephant Diaries (R). Jonathan Scott watches the older orphans being introduced to wild elephants. 8.00 King Alfred and the AngloSaxons (R,HD). Michael Wood tells the story of King Alfred the Great. 9.00 Project Nim (HD) (2011). See Choices Above. ●●●● 10.35 Storyville: Big Brother Watching Me: Citizen Ai Weiwei (HD). The life of Chinese contemporary artist Ai Weiwei. 11.50 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses 12.50 King Alfred and the Anglo-Saxons (R,HD). 1.50 Film: Project Nim (HD) (2011). ●●●●

MONDAY January

12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show. 1.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 2.00 Live Tour Down Under Cycling (HD). 4.00 FL72 Review. 5.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 5.30 Football League Gold (HD). 5.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

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TV PICKS

THE NAKED RAMBLER 10.35pm, BBC1

DEATH IN PARADISE 9pm, BBC1

Former Royal Marine Stephen Gough attempts to walk naked more than 400 miles from Scotland to his home in Eastleigh, Hampshire.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.40 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

A zombie movie being filmed on the island ends in real-life horror when a stand-in is poisoned â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and new detective inspector Humphrey soon deduces that the unfortunate victim was not the killerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intended target. Michelle Ryan, Peter Davison and Hannah Tointon guest star.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pies & Puds 9.05 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow (R,S). 10.05 Sign Zone: Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Empty Homes (R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live International Bowls (S). 5.15 Flog It!

PAUL Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;GRADYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ANIMAL ORPHANS 9pm, ITV

HOUSE OF FOOLS 10pm, BBC2

The comedian strikes up a bond with a litter of cheetah cubs, meets a black rhino calf at a rehabilitation centre and follows efforts to release a baby baboon into the wild.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Deal (S). The team visits Loughborough. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). With guest Stephen Tompkinson. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Julie entrusts Vic and Bob with the safety of her prize pork pie, which she plans to offer to Bruce Willis to persuade him to star in a film based on her best-selling novel. However, the housemates give in to temptation and eat it, so they set about stealing another from Ben Gunnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pork Emporium.

Channel 4

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia (R,S). 11.00 Sarah Beenyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Worst Holiday Horrors (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Patricia Cornwellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s At Risk (S) (2010). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). Kate decides to keep her distance from Kyle.

Operation Grand â&#x20AC;Ś 11.20pm

Weight Loss Ward, 8pm

Ramsayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun, 8pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 16/22. Bart is sent to a juvenile detention centre. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Nancy surprises Darren.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Nate tells Josh he needs to sort things out with Maddy. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Lauren realises Jake has hit the bottle again. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 107/140. Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 12/20. Michael Portillo travels through Hampshire and Berkshire. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 2/12. Transforming knocked-through sitting rooms in three homes in a Salford terrace.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). The day of Rachelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s court case arrives. 7.30 River Monsters (S). 3/7. A feared creature in Central America.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). 22/30. 7.30 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Film 2014, 11.25pm

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 15/52. Jac fails to support her daughter as she undergoes surgery, Arthur embarks on a sabotage mission against Dominic and Adele is upset when Mo pulls rank on her.

8.00 Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 2/4. The team explores the ancient Caledonian forest, which is home to squirrels, pine martens and other woodland wildlife. Chris Packham tracks an adventurous urban fox in Brighton.

8.00 Weight Loss Ward (S,HD). 3/3. At Sunderland Royal Hospitalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s obesity unit, Doreen Thomas spends her first night away from home in 37 years and the 56-year-old makes a surprising decision. Narrated by Dominic Cooper. Last in the series.

8.00 Location, Location, Location (S,HD). 3/6. In Norfolk, Phil Spencer helps a pair of pensioners find a home by the sea, and Kirstie Allsopp assists a couple who have spent more than a year searching for a rural property.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (S,HD). The second Gibraltar Music Festival takes place and events planner Monica Coumbe has to ensure stars including Emeli Sande, Olly Murs and Texas are well looked after. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Death in Paradise (S,HD). 2/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Search for Alfred the Great (S,HD). Neil Oliver follows the work of the team of historians and scientists trying to discover the final resting place of the remains of 9th-century English king Alfred the Great.

9.00 Paul Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Gradyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Animal Orphans (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Taste (S,HD). 3/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 19/22. A chance to catch up with the latest action as the celebrity contestants continue to live out their lives in front of the cameras, knowing it will all be over soon.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 House of Fools (S,HD). 2/6. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather 10.35 Chris Eubank: Sports Life Stories (S,HD). 8/8. A profile of the former boxer. Last in the series.

10.00 Ramsayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchen Nightmares USA (S). 14/16. Gordon Ramsay heads to the Prohibition Grille in Everett, Washington, where belly dancer-turned-restaurateur Rishi Brown would rather perform for customers than improve her menu.

10.00 Autopsy: Anna Nicole Smithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Last Hours (S,HD). 3/3. Forensic pathologist Dr Richard Shepherd investigates the death of the model and actress, who died in February 2007 at the age of 39 from a drug overdose. Last in the series.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Naked Rambler (S,HD). See Choices Above.

11.25 Film 2014 (S,HD). 1/7. New series. Reviews of Inside Llewyn Davis and Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. 11.55 White Mischief (S) (1987). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

11.20 Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow (R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. The re-creation of a pioneering expedition.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). A Tasmanian devil arrives at the zoo ready to settle into its new home.

11.00 The Undateables (R,S,HD). 2/4. A man with Aspergerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s syndrome panics when meeting dating agency employees and a jazz singer with Touretteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s syndrome has dates with a man and a woman.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bit on the Side (HD). 13/16. Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guestsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; thoughts on the latest developments and behind-the-scenes insights.

1.40 Weatherview (S,HD). 1.45 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 International Bowls (S). The World Indoor Championships. Highlights of the Mixed Pairs final at the Potters Leisure Resort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk. 1.20 Sign Zone: The Midwives (R,S). Mothersto-be who need additional medical support and care. 2.20 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes from BBC Two. 3.55 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). With guests Anton Du Beke and Shane Filan. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

12.00 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.05 Poker (S). Action from the Pokerstars.com European Poker Tour Barcelona. 1.00 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.30 Trans World Sport (R,S). 2.25 Beach Volleyball (S). 3.20 Snowdon Race (R,S). 4.20 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.15 Hughâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 3 Good Things: Best Bites (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 My Post-Baby Breakdown: Jennifer Ellison (R,S). The TV personality discusses post-natal depression. 1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Hens Behaving Badly (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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8 OUT OF 10 CATS UNCUT 10.55pm, E4

Team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Roisin Conaty, Alex Brooker, Joe Wilkinson and Chris Ramsey to answer questions based on opinion polls carried out around the country, finding out who best understands what is going on in Britain today. Jimmy Carr hosts.

The 11 remaining cooks try to impress the panel with comfort food and prepare a pie fit for Michelin-starred guest judge Michael Caines, before one of the contestants is eliminated.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 Coronation Street 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

E4 6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00 Glee 10.00 Made in Chelsea 11.00 Charmed 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00 Rules of Engagement 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1

FILM PICKS

THE TASTE 9pm, Channel 4

WHITE MISCHIEF 11.55pm, BBC1

PATRICIA CORNWELL’S AT RISK 3.15pm, Channel 5

A murder unsettles a colony of British aristocrats leading a hedonistic life in Kenya during the Second World War. Drama, starring Charles Dance.

GOLD

A state police detective is recruited by a district attorney to crack a 20-year-old murder case. Mystery, starring Andie MacDowell.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S).

6.10 The Brittas Empire 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 The Brittas Empire 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.55 Porridge. 12.35 Porridge 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (S,HD). 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (S,HD). 9.00 Monday Night Football (HD). 11.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.00 FL72 Review. 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 2.00 Monday Night Football (HD). 4.30 FL72 Review. 5.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 5.45 Football Gold (S).

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Jordan from Essex hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Comedy, starring Jim Parsons.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S). Claire’s plans for a family portrait do not go smoothly. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. Foggy shows off his orienteering skills. 6.40 Porridge. A midday cuppa causes a stir.

6.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (S,HD). 6.30 Premier League Review (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Featuring a dog’s encounter with a whoopee cushion. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R).

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Patrick begs Dodger not to reveal the truth about Sienna’s daughter. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). Another trilogy of Halloween-inspired stories.

7.20 Porridge. Fletcher objects to having a third cellmate foisted on him, especially as the newcomer seems to enjoy special privileges.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie dates a female version of himself. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Alan denies shoplifting as a child.

8.00 Furry Vengeance (HD) (2010). Family comedy, starring Brendan Fraser, Brooke Shields and Ken Jeong. ●●

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). McGarrett and Wo Fat narrowly escape from prison. Crime drama, with Alex O’Loughlin and Chi McBride, guest starring Henry Ian Cusick.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Comic view of the week’s television. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic view of Celebrity Big Brother.

7.30 Live Capital One Cup Football (HD). West Ham United v Manchester City (kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the opening semi-final second-leg tie at Upton Park, where the hosts trail 6-0 following the first leg. The Hammers have beaten Cheltenham Town, Burnley, Cardiff City and Tottenham Hotspur to reach this stage, but they will need to produce the best performance of any side in the country this season to prevent City from reaching the final.

9.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme 9.00 The World Is Not 9.50 Rude Tube: Total Fails 9.00 Come Fly with Me. Taaj World (S,HD). New Enough (HD) (1999). (R,HD). Alex Zane counts Manzoor bumps into series. The actor exposes James Bond is assigned down 50 internet video actor Rupert Grint. Spoof stories of crime and to protect the heiress of hits in which the documentary, starring hardship, beginning with an oil dynasty after her subjects’ attempts to Matt Lucas and David sex trafficking in India, father is killed in a perform stunts or Walliams. where young girls are bombing at MI6 demonstrate skills end in 9.40 Little Britain. Ralph taken from their families headquarters. The attack disaster, including an Patterson auditions for a and forced into is the work of an aspiring rapper who musical. prostitution. infamous terrorist who is passes out. unable to feel pain after 10.20 Little Britain. Dafydd 10.00 Premier League 10.55 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles surviving a gunshot to discovers Myfanwy’s (R,S,HD). The team Review (HD). A look (R,HD). See Choices his head, and who now secret, and Michael comes to the aid of Sam back at recent fixtures in Above. intends to destroy the meets the Italian prime and Deeks, who have the English Premier world’s supply of oil. Spy minister. Starring Matt been mercilessly League, as the season adventure, starring Lucas and David tortured by Sidorov for continued with matches Pierce Brosnan, Robert Walliams. information on the affecting both ends of Carlyle, Sophie Marceau whereabouts of an the table. and Robbie Coltrane. undercover Michelle. Including FYI Daily. Starring Chris O’Donnell. ●●●● 11.35 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie dates a female version of himself. Comedy, starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer and Angus T Jones.

11.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon competes against actor Wil Wheaton once again.

11.00 Little Britain. Emily 11.00 A League of Their Howard gets a new Own: Best Bits – Part friend. Narrated by Tom One (R,S,HD). Highlights Baker. from the third series of the comedy panel show. 11.40 Little Britain. Bubbles spends too much time under the sunbed.

11.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (S,HD). 11.30 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.45 Football Gold (S,HD). Manchester United v Chelsea from 1999/2000.

12.05 Two and a Half Men (R). Alan denies shoplifting as a child. 12.35 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,HD). 1.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,HD). 1.35 Ladette to Lady: Australia (R). 2.25 Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon tries to conceal his friendship with Penny from Leonard. 12.40 Revenge (R,HD). 1.40 Rude Tube: Total Fails (R,HD). 2.35 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut (R,HD). 3.15 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.40 Glee (R,HD). 4.25 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.00 A League of Their Own: Unseen – Part One (R,HD). 1.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 2.00 Road Wars (R,S). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). West Ham United v Manchester City. 12.55 Live International One-Day Cricket (HD). New Zealand v India. Coverage of the second contest in the five-match series, held at Seddon Park, Hamilton.

12.20 Come Fly with Me. Taaj Manzoor bumps into Harry Potter star Rupert Grint, and Great British Air’s snobbiest employee is forced to deal with passengers from the lower classes. 1.00 Little Britain. Ralph Patterson auditions for a musical. 1.30 Little Britain. 2.00 Little Britain. 2.30 Little Britain.

BBC3

7.00 Winter Wipeout (R,S). A bollard salesman, a farmer and a comedian tackle the winterthemed course. 8.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). The size of the trainees’ task begins to sink in. 9.00 Growing Up Down’s (S,HD). Documentary following a group of young actors with Down’s syndrome. 10.00 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Lauren realises Jake has hit the bottle again. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Growing Up Down’s (R,S,HD). 1.30 Tough Young Teachers 2.30 Bad Education 3.00 Growing Up Down’s (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather 7.30 Elephant Diaries (R). 8.00 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). The excavations of two vastly different Iron Age women. 9.00 Rococo: Travel, Pleasure, Madness (HD). New series. Documentary exploring the art movement. 10.00 The Man Who Discovered Egypt (R,HD). The life and work of Victorian adventurer Flinders Petrie. 11.00 Wild China (R,HD). 12.00 China in Six Easy Pieces (R,HD). 1.00 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited 2.00 The Man Who Discovered Egypt 3.00 Rococo: Travel, Pleasure, Madness (R).

TUESDAY January 21 ��’� ��

Bristol Times �� ’� ��

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TV PICKS

WATERLOO ROAD 8pm, BBC1

Gabriella continues to make more enemies than friends, Christine struggles with her emotions as Connor leaves, and Nikki prepares for a visit from her daughter Eve.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Father Brown (HD). 3.00 Perfection (HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

RUSSIA ON FOUR WHEELS 9.30pm, BBC2

Justin Rowlatt and Anita Rani conclude their separate road trips across Russia from Sochi. In St Petersburg, Anita encounters migrant workers and gay rights protesters before heading north to meet entrepreneurs harvesting caviar from sturgeon and ending her journey in Murmansk.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.00 Sheriffs Are Coming (HD). 7.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R,S). 10.00 Kangaroo Dundee (R,S). 10.30 See Hear (S). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Lifeline (R,S,HD). 1.10 Live International Bowls (S). 5.10 Flog It! 5.55 Party Political Broadcast (S,HD).

THE NATIONAL TELEVISION AWARDS 2014 7.30pm, ITV

The biggest names on the small screen gather at the O2 in London for the annual ceremony celebrating the British TV over the past 12 months. Dermot O’Leary hosts.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S). Items include a historical souvenir from York Minster. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). With Meera Syal and Mike Rutherford. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

CHILDREN ON THE FRONTLINE 10pm, Channel 4

This Dispatches documentary tells the stories of five youngsters whose lives have been changed for ever by the conflict – siblings Helen, Farah, Sara and Mohammed, whose father is a rebel commander, and Aboude, a singer and poster boy for the Syrian uprising. Narrated by James D’Arcy.

Channel 4

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia (R,S). 11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). Kidnappers strike on Halloween. 3.15 Film: Shadow on the Mesa (S,HD) (2013). Western, starring Wes Brown and Kevin Sorbo. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 Coronation Street (S,HD). The residents are left devastated by news of Hayley’s death. 7.30 The National Television Awards 2014 (S,HD). The biggest names on the small screen gather at the O2 in London for the annual ceremony celebrating the best of British TV over the past 12 months, as voted for by viewers. This year, Olivia Colman and David Tennant (Broadchurch), Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock), Idris Elba (Luther), Bradley Walsh (Law & Order: UK) and Suranne Jones (Scott & Bailey) battle it out in the new TV Detective category, and ratings hit The Great British Bake Off faces tough competition from Paul O’Grady: For the Love of Dogs, Top Gear and An Idiot Abroad to scoop the Factual Entertainment trophy. See Choices Above.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 The Town the Travellers Took Over (R,S). Paul Connolly investigates a travelling community in Co Limerick. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 The Restoration Man (S,HD). 4/7. See Choices Above.

8.00 Terror in the Skies: Scariest Flights (R,S,HD). Hair-raising aviation incidents, including a remarkable touchdown in Warsaw, a hijacking, an attempt to dislodge jammed landing gear and a nightmarish balloon ride. Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). 3/8. An 89-year-old woman is brought to King’s after a fall, a 23-year-old groom-to-be is examined following a seizure and a 57-year-old man reflects on the consequences of his actions.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (S,HD). 20/22. Emma Willis presents as the number of housemates is whittled down ahead of Friday’s final, and meets the unlucky contestant – or contestants in the event of a double eviction.

▼

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Chris returns to the cult to try to persuade Spencer to leave. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

Hens Behaving Badly, 10.30pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Patrick begs Dodger not to reveal the truth about Sienna’s daughter.

▼

24 Hours in A&E, 9pm

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Political Broadcast (R,S). By the Conservative Party. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

8.00 Waterloo Road (S,HD). 13/20. See Choices Above.

8.00 Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 3/4. The team examines how garden birds around the UK are coping with the harsh season, and Martin Hughes-Games braves the icy River Dee to explore the habitats of otters and dippers.

9.00 Crimewatch (S). Kirsty Young presents crime reports and reconstructions aimed at cracking Britain’s biggest unsolved cases and Martin Bayfield has the latest CCTV footage and wanted faces.

9.00 Winterwatch Unsprung 2014 (S,HD). A discussion on issues raised in the main programme. 9.30 Russia on Four Wheels (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Crimewatch Update (S). An update on viewers’ responses to the programme shown earlier. 10.45 A Question of Sport (S,HD). 13/36. With Geoff Parling and Fran Halsall.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.40 The Jonathan Ross Show (R,S,HD). 3/10. The host is joined by comedian and actor Russell Brand, X Factor host Dermot O’Leary, Birds of a Feather star Linda Robson and musician James Blunt, who also performs in the studio.

10.00 Children on the Frontline (S). See Choices Above.

10.30 Hens Behaving Badly (S,HD). 3/3. A bride-to-be invites her long-lost sister and future mother-in-law to go out in Manchester, while another parties in Newcastle before emigrating to Australia. Last in the series.

▼

11.15 The League Cup Show (S,HD). Highlights of the semi-final second-leg matches, featuring Manchester United v Sunderland at Old Trafford and West Ham United v Manchester City at Upton Park.

11.20 The Search for Alfred the Great (R,S,HD). A team trying to locate the remains of the 9th-century English king.

11.40 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands (R,S,HD). 2/8. The lives of a property developer and a Lady Gaga tribute act.

11.00 Benefits Street (R,S). 3/5. Documentary following the lives of people who are heavily reliant on welfare payments, revealing the daily challenges they face in tough economic times.

11.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). 14/16. Rylan Clark and his guests discuss tonight’s eviction, debating whether the public made the right decision.

12.00 Film: Color of Night (S,HD) (1994). See Choices Above. ● 1.55 Weatherview (S,HD). 2.00 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 International Bowls (S). The World Indoor Championships. Action from the Ladies’ Singles semi-finals and the Open Singles second-round matches at the Potters Leisure Resort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk. 1.20 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S). 1.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes from BBC Two. 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 Film: Columbo: Grand Deceptions (S) (1989). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. ●● 4.35 ITV Nightscreen (HD). 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD).

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Music on 4: Launched at Red Bull Studios (S,HD). 12.35 What Happens in Sunny Beach (R,S). 1.30 Film: Topaz (S,HD) (1969). See Choices Above. ●● 3.55 Amelia and Michael (R,S). 4.05 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.00 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.55 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD).

12.20 The Big Game (S,HD). Poker game in which amateurs compete against worldclass professionals. 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Botched Up Bodies (R,S,HD). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). Sprucing up a London property. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

▼

after

Coronation Street, 7pm

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 13/20. Michael Portillo travels from Wokingham to Bradford on Avon. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 3/12. Transforming the sun rooms of three art deco homes in Beckenham, south-east London.

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Matt Baker and Alex Jones. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

10 11

Russia on Four Wheels, 9.30pm

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Political Broadcast (R,S,HD). By the Conservative Party.

▼

6 7 8 9

Crimewatch, 9pm

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ASHLEY BANJO’S BIG TOWN DANCE 8pm, Sky1

Ashley and his fellow Diversity members continue to teach the people of Stockton-onTees how to dance, assembling a group from the business sector. They are keen to give it their all but with everyone working around the clock, finding the time to rehearse their complex routine is proving tough.

George Clarke meets builders Ian and Jayne Hall Edwards, who want to turn a derelict Victorian school in Pencader, Carmarthenshire, into a place of business and a family home.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,HD). 6.25 Holiday Airport (R). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,HD). 9.30 Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 Real Housewives of Orange County (HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (HD). 1.00 The Cube (HD). 2.00 Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 Real Housewives of Orange County

E4 6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 (HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00 Glee (HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (HD). 3.00 Made in Chelsea (HD). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Modern Family (R,S). 8.00 All Aboard (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S).

FILM PICKS

THE RESTORATION MAN 8pm, Channel 4

COLOR OF NIGHT 12am, BBC1

TOPAZ 1.30am, Channel 4

A psychiatrist suspects someone in his patient therapy group is responsible for the murder of a close friend. Psychological thriller, with Bruce Willis.

GOLD 6.10 Brittas Empire 6.45 To the Manor Born 7.25 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 Brittas Empire 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Porridge 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.55 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine.

A CIA operative and a French secret agent investigate Soviet espionage. Alfred Hitchcock’s spy thriller, starring Frederick Stafford and Dany Robin.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Live International One-Day Cricket (HD). New Zealand v India. 9.30 Coppa Italia Football. 10.30 Revista De La Liga Special (HD). 1.30 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 2.30 Revista De La Liga Special (HD). 5.30 Football’s Greatest International Teams (S,HD). A look at some of the greatest teams in the history of the game.

Benidorm, 9pm

Rude Tube, 10pm

The Kumars, 9pm

Last of the Summer ... 6pm

Live Cup Football, 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). A man from London takes on the challenge.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Modern Family (R). Comedy following three dysfunctional households. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. Compo makes a bet. 6.40 Porridge. The inmates stage a mock trial.

6.00 Football League Gold (S,HD). 6.30 Football Gold (S). 6.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Naughty animals and crazy teenagers. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Harry Hill narrates camcorder calamities.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Patrick tries to fix his relationship with Sienna. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Mrs Krabappel looks for love. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Homer fears the apocalypse is imminent.

7.20 Porridge. The inmates decide on a wager as the parole board gathers, with Blanco odds-on favourite for release.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie and Alan throw a party for their mother. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Alan meets his dream girl.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory: Access All Areas (R,HD). A visit to the comedy’s set in Hollywood. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

8.00 Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance (S,HD). See Choices Above.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. The quirky comic gives his take on Wild at Heart. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Comic view of Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures.

9.00 Benidorm (R,HD). Liam decides he has fallen in love with Bianca, Donald and Jacqueline receive sad news about their friend Big Donna and Martin Weedon arrives at the resort for a stag do. Guest starring Nicholas Burns.

9.00 The Tomorrow People (HD). Astrid tries to revive Stephen’s social life by taking him to a party, but he becomes distracted when he realises one of his classmates is in a vulnerable state.

9.00 The Kumars (S,HD). Comedy chat show which sees the family invite three of Britain’s bestloved acting talents, Rupert Everett, Ray Winstone and Diana Rigg, into their home.

9.00 Come Fly with Me. Penny gets a visit from a member of the royal household. 9.40 Little Britain. Emily and Florence shop for wedding dresses.

7.00 Live Capital One Cup Football (HD). Manchester United v Sunderland (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the concluding semi-final second-leg tie at Old Trafford, where the lineup for the final is decided. Despite their lowly status in the Premier League, Sunderland hold a 2-1 lead from the first leg thanks to a Ryan Giggs own goal and a Fabio Borini penalty either side of Nemanja Vidic’s header, and United’s recent struggles in front of their own fans will give the Black Cats hope of progressing.

10.15 Little Britain. Emily and 10.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 10.00 The Magaluf 10.00 Rude Tube (R,HD). Alex 10.00 Karl Pilkington: The Florence go to the ballet Moaning of Life Weekender (R,HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents Zane presents popular and the Fat Fighters (R,S,HD). Karl Pilkington Bournemouth-based a discussion show online videos on the celebrate Christmas. Lou answers important life brothers Ryan and Louis focusing on recent sports theme of dumb and tries to dissuade Andy questions, beginning head to the Lively Hotel developments. dangerous, featuring from his unconventional with the relevance of with their best friend unwitting contributors choice of outfit for a marriage today, John, and head rep to their own downfall church service. exploring arranged Imogen loses patience and others seeking marriages in India and with her colleagues. internet glory. 10.55 Little Britain. Emily and ceremonies in Las Vegas. Florence play tennis. 11.00 Fake Reaction (R,HD). With Charlotte Crosby, Gemma Cairney, Ivo Graham and Louie Spence. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R).

11.00 The Inbetweeners (R). 11.00 A League of Their Carli organises a fashion Own: Unseen – Part show. One (R,HD). Host James Corden introduces 11.35 The Big Bang Theory unused footage from (R,HD). Sheldon invites a the third series of the famous physicist to the sports-based comedy flat. quiz.

11.30 Little Britain. Dafydd watches a rugby match, while Lou and Andy go to the beach. Quirky sketch show, starring David Walliams and Matt Lucas.

11.00 Football Gold (S). 11.15 Football Gold (S,HD). 11.30 Football Gold (S,HD). West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur from the 2006/07 season. 11.45 Football Gold (S,HD).

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R). 12.45 The Magaluf Weekender (R,HD). 1.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). The host takes his successful talk show stateside, where he invites American guests to air their differences. 2.25 Teleshopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 12.30 Brooklyn NineNine (R,HD). 1.00 2 Broke Girls (R,HD). 1.30 The IT Crowd (R). 2.00 The IT Crowd (R). 2.25 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.50 Rude Tube (R,HD). 3.45 Glee (R,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,HD). Guest starring singer Adele.

12.05 Come Fly with Me. 12.45 Little Britain. Emily and Florence shop for wedding dresses, and when Lou’s van is blocked in at the car park Andy is upset that he is going to miss My Hero. 1.15 Little Britain. 1.45 Little Britain. Emily and Florence go to the ballet. 2.15 Little Britain

12.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 1.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 2.00 Football League Gold (HD). 2.15 Football League Gold (HD). 2.30 Live Tour Down Under Cycling (HD). 4.30 What’s the Story? (HD). 5.30 Football League Gold (HD). 5.45 Football Gold (HD).

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). 1.00 Night Cops (R,S,HD). The work of police officers across the UK. 2.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

BBC3

7.00 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes (R,S). 7.05 Great Movie Mistakes IV: May the Fourth Be with You (R,S). 7.50 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (S,HD) (2005). Fantasy adventure, starring Tilda Swinton. ●●●● 10.00 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). Roger sells Senator Buckingham’s daughter to a drug lord. 12.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 1.30 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.00 Growing Up Down’s (R,S,HD). 3.00 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 3.30 Uncle (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Elephant Diaries (R). 8.00 Grammar Schools: A Secret History. The stories behind some of Britain’s most successful schools. 9.00 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses (HD). The work of an established regalia company. 10.00 Treasures of Ancient Egypt (R,HD). Art from one of Ancient Egypt’s most opulent eras. 11.00 Seamus Heaney – Out of the Marvellous. 12.15 Narnia’s Lost Poet: The Secret Lives and Loves of CS Lewis (R,HD). 1.15 Britain by Bike (R). 1.45 Grammar Schools: A Secret History (R). 2.45 Hidden Histories: Britain’s Oldest Family Businesses (R).

WEDNESDAY January 22 ��’� ��

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TV PICKS

SILENT WITNESS 9pm, BBC1

HIDDEN KINGDOMS 8pm, BBC1

A teenage girl’s body is found in a suitcase and the investigation takes a shocking turn when Nikki and Jack reveal the victim’s baby was cut from her womb.

Documentary following a young tree shrew as it darts through the rainforest of Borneo on the lookout for food, and a male chipmunk collecting acorns in preparation for winter. Including Hidden Kingdoms Revealed, a behind-the-scenes report on how the programme was made.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.05 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.05 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.50 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.05 Tudor Monastery Farm (R,S). 10.05 Kangaroo Dundee (R,S). 10.35 HARDtalk (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live International Bowls 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

BENIDORM 9pm, ITV

Following the stag do, best man Martin wakes up in bed with Bianca – who reveals her true age – while Kenneth has a crisis at the salon and Joyce sets up a volleyball court.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S). The team travels to Carlisle, Cumbria. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). With Richard Ward and Myleene Klass. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

BIRDS OF A FEATHER 8.30pm, ITV

Tracey, Sharon and Dorien become involved with three very different men, while Travis has romantic troubles of his own. However, everyone’s relationship hopes take a knock when Garth and Marcie organise a pop-up restaurant evening at the house to fund the refurbishment of their new pub.

Channel 4

6.20 Hugh’s 3 Good Things: Best Bites (S,HD). 6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will & Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Secret Millionaire Australia (R,S). 11.00 Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00 News (S). 12.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 2.10 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Carnal Innocence (S) (2011). See Choices Above. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD). As Gem is taken away for psychiatric evaluation, Kate drops a bombshell.

Charlie Brooker’s Weekly … 10pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

Supersize vs Superskinny, 8pm

Winter Road Rescue, 7pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22. Marge and Homer go on a second honeymoon. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Indi realises she needs to make a fresh start away from Summer Bay. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topical stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). A drunken Jake crashes his car. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 109/140. Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 14/20. Michael Portillo travels from Chippenham to Gloucester. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 4/12. Transforming the sitting rooms of neighbouring homes in a converted mill.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 7.30 The Rise of the E-Cigarette: Tonight (S,HD). The debate surrounding electronic cigarettes.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD). Documentary following snowplough teams and RAC patrols. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

Question Time, 10.35pm

8.00 Hidden Kingdoms (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

8.00 Restoration Home One Year On (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Kieran Long revisits two projects previously featured on the programme – an arts and crafts home near Dundee and a 16th-century timber-framed property in Warwickshire.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Ali confronts Jai after finding her house trashed. 8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 4/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Supersize vs Superskinny (S,HD). 3/8. A junk-food addict swaps diets with a greatgrandmother who lives on egg and toast, and Emma Woolf reports on dedicated hospital in-patient care for people with eating disorders.

8.00 World’s Worst Holiday Horrors (S,HD). A Northampton family’s amphibious tour vehicle catches fire. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 7/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Winterwatch 2014 (S,HD). 4/4. The urban foxes’ breeding season gets under way, and the team heads into the Cairngorms’ uplands, home to golden eagles, mountain hares and red grouse. Last in the series.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 4/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Undateables (S,HD). 3/4. A catch-up with contributors from previous editions, including 30-year-old Kate, who was set up on a blind date last year, and 27-year-old Michael, who is now in a relationship.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother (S,HD). 21/22. The last chance to catch up with the famous contestants’ antics before the impending final, including another chance to see their reactions to Wednesday’s eviction.

▼

10.00 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe (S,HD). 3/6. The broadcaster offers a satirical look at the latest news from politics, the media and the internet, casting a critical eye over trends in TV, cinema and social media. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Weight Loss Ward (R,S,HD). 3/3. At Sunderland Royal Hospital’s obesity unit, Doreen Thomas spends her first night away from home in 37 years and the 56-year-old makes a surprising decision. Last in the series.

10.00 What Happens in Sunny Beach (S). 3/3. Friendships are tested and blood is spilled as the relentless hedonism of the Bulgarian seaside resort takes its toll on young holidaymakers who swap sun and sea for A&E. Last in the series.

10.00 Botched Up Bodies (S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Question Time (S,HD). 17/38. David Dimbleby chairs a debate from Dundee, where a panel of guests faces topical questions from the audience.

11.35 This Week (S). Andrew Neil and guests discuss political and parliamentary developments from the past seven days.

11.20 Russia on Four Wheels (R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two. Justin Rowlatt and Anita Rani set off on road trips across Russia.

11.35 Strictly Kosher (R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two. Documentary about Manchester’s Jewish community.

11.05 24 Hours in A&E (R,S,HD). 3/8. A 23-year-old groom-to-be is examined following a seizure.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). 15/16. Emma Willis presents the CBB companion show, including celebrity guests’ thoughts on the latest developments and behind-the-scenes insights.

12.20 Skiing Weatherview (S,HD). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 International Bowls (S). 1.20 Sign Zone: Police: Shooting to Kill? – Panorama (R,S). The controversy surrounding police firearms units. 1.50 Sign Zone: Iceland Foods: Life in the Freezer Cabinet (R,S). Malcolm Walker relaunches the business. Last in the series. 2.50 This Is BBC Two (S). 3.55 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.30 Jackpot247. Viewers get the chance to participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.00 The Rise of the E-Cigarette: Tonight (R,HD). 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.05 One Born Every Minute (R,S,HD). 1.00 Random Acts (S). 1.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (R,S). 2.00 The Fat Fighters (R,S,HD). 2.55 Fat Family Tree (R,S,HD). 3.50 Food Unwrapped (R,S). 4.20 Are You Addicted to Sugar? Channel 4 Dispatches (R,S). 4.50 Health Freaks (R,S,HD). 5.15 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino. Viewers get the chance to take part in live interactive gaming, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively chat from the presenting team. 3.05 True CSI (R,S). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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after

Keukenhof Flower Festival, Holland Door2Door Holiday 3rd - 6th May 2014 Spend a day exploring the Keukenhof Gardens and watching the flower parade go by. Other days will be spent on a steam train ride from Hoorn, visiting the fishing village of Volendam and on a glass top boat trip in Amsterdam+.

Call 01454 319047 to book now

5 Days Half Boa rd

£490.00*

*Single supplement applies + Boat trip payable on the day

Holidays

The Coach Stop, 1 Hounds Rd, Chipping Sodbury. BS37 6EE | www.chauffeurhireplus.co.uk

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ROSS KEMP: EXTREME WORLD 10pm, Sky1

Surgeons help a woman who nearly died after undergoing cut-price breast surgery in Prague, and a man left bald and scarred after six attempted hair transplants. Last in the series.

ITV2 6.00 Coronation Street (R,HD). 6.25 Holiday Showdown (R). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R). 10.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County (R,HD). 12.30 Coronation Street (R,HD). 1.00 The Cube (R,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R). 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County (HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,HD).

The actor and his documentary team expose stories of crime and hardship around the world, beginning with sex trafficking in India. Ross visits the notorious red-light district of Mumbai, where secretly filmed footage reveals not only the scale of the industry but how young some of the girls trapped in it are.

E4 6.00 Switched (R). 6.25 90210 (R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,HD). 7.55 Charmed (R). 8.55 Glee 10.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother 2.00 Big Bang Theory 3.00 Made in Chelsea 4.00 Rules of Engagement 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

Sky1 6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Modern Family (R). 8.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R).

FILM PICKS

BOTCHED UP BODIES 10pm, Channel 5

CARNAL INNOCENCE 3.15pm, Channel 5

World-famous musician Caroline Waverly moves back to her quiet home town, hoping to establish a simpler life. However, her return coincides with a spate of killings, and as rumours spread that a serial killer is on the loose, she begins to worry she may be the next victim. Thriller based on Nora Roberts’ novel, starring Gabrielle Anwar, Colin Egglesfield, Pancho Demmings, Andrew W Walker, Jud Taylor, Jennifer Taylor, Drew James, Antonio D Charity.

GOLD 6.10 Brittas Empire 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 Brittas Empire 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.55 Porridge 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.30 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (S,HD). 9.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 10.00 Coppa Italia Football. 11.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 12.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 1.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 2.00 Football Gold (S). 2.15 Football Gold (S). 2.30 Live Dubai International Racing Carnival (HD).

Tricked, 9pm

2 Broke Girls, 9.30pm

Karl Pilkington … 9pm

Harry Hill’s TV Burp, 8pm

Ringside, 6pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). Gemma from Kent hopes to find love. Narrated by Charlotte Hudson.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (HD). Sheldon arranges his first-ever date.

6.00 Modern Family (R). Comedy following three dysfunctional households. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine. Compo takes Nora for a ride. 6.40 Porridge. Godber revises for an exam.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). Nancy begs Maxine for answers. 7.35 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). Ted dates a younger woman.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Homer invents a new drink. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). Bart sees into the future.

7.20 Porridge. Godber gets into a fight. Final episode of the classic comedy, starring Ronnie Barker and Richard Beckinsale.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Denise Richards guest stars. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie writes the theme song for a cartoon.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon punishes Leonard for a past mistake. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (HD). Comedy, starring Jim Parsons and Kaley Cuoco.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Phil agrees to sell the old station wagon. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). Jay’s friends examine his approach to fatherhood.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A quirky review of smallscreen highlights. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. The comic reviews Holby City and Dancing on Ice.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine, including highlights of recent bouts and interviews with the stars currently causing a stir in the ring. 7.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). Manchester United v Sunderland. 7.55 Live Copa Del Rey Football (HD). Coverage of a quarter-final firstleg encounter (Kick-off TBA), as Spain’s biggest domestic cup competition continues.

9.00 Tricked (R,HD). Former footballer Robbie Savage is in for an expensive surprise when magician Ben Hanlin messes with his £150,000 supercar, and Amy Childs has a shock.

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (HD). Jake is assigned to a minor graffiti case. American comedy, starring Andy Samberg. 9.30 2 Broke Girls (HD). Max applies to a pastry school in Manhattan. Guest starring Gilles Marini.

9.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life (R,S,HD). Karl Pilkington answers important life questions, beginning with the relevance of marriage today, exploring arranged marriages in India and ceremonies in Las Vegas.

9.00 Come Fly with Me. Guest starring Anna Friel and Germaine Greer. 9.40 Little Britain. Dafydd works as a rent boy and Vicky shows off her dancing skills, while Florence and Emily tackle their facial hair.

10.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme 10.00 Fake Reaction (HD). 10.00 The Midnight Beast World (R,S,HD). With Louis Smith, Kate (HD). New series. The See Choices Above. Nash, Alex Brooker and trio organise a birthday Bobby Mair. party. 10.50 Mom (R). Comedy, 10.30 The Inbetweeners (R). starring Anna Faris and Carli organises a fashion Allison Janney. A former show. Comedy, starring alcoholic tries to get her Emily Head, Joe Thomas, life back on track. Simon Bird and James Buckley.

10.20 Little Britain. Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan guest star, as Lou and Andy play You Say, We Pay, Sebastian serenades the prime minister, and Don and Pat visit an Indian restaurant.

10.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). Manchester United v Sunderland. Action from the concluding semi-final second-leg tie at Old Trafford, where the lineup for the final was decided.

11.20 Mom (R). Christy and Bonnie work through a family crisis. 11.50 Two and a Half Men (R). Denise Richards guest stars.

11.05 The IT Crowd (R). Jen introduces the guys to a social networking website. 11.35 The IT Crowd (R). Reynholm Industries unveils a nude calendar.

11.00 Hawaii Five-0 (HD). Chin 11.00 Little Britain. Fat 11.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing Fighters welcomes a awakes to find he has magazine, including celebrity addition. been kidnapped and highlights of recent transported to Halawa 11.40 Little Britain. Emily and bouts and interviews prison, where he hopes Florence hit the town for with the stars. not to be recognised by a hen night. the inmates he is partly responsible for convicting.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie writes the theme song for a cartoon based on one of Jake’s favourite comics, but the youngster does not think the music is right for the project. 12.50 Plebs (R,HD). 1.20 Tricked (R,HD). 2.15 Teleshopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.10 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Penny gets drunk and seduces Leonard. 12.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 1.05 Revenge (R,HD). 2.00 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 2.25 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 2.50 One Tree Hill (R,HD). 3.30 Glee (R,HD). 4.15 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). 1.00 Night Cops (R,S,HD). 2.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). Tracking fugitives. 4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

12.20 Come Fly with Me. Immigration officer Ian Foot pulls Taaj in for questioning and Fearghal takes desperate measures to be nominated for Steward of the Year. Anna Friel and Germaine Greer guest star. 1.00 Little Britain 1.30 Little Britain 2.00 Little Britain 2.30 Little Britain

12.00 NFL – A Football Life (HD). 1.00 Capital One Cup Football (HD). 2.00 Football Gold. 2.15 Football Gold. 2.30 Live Tour Down Under Cycling (HD). Stage four of the annual race from Adelaide. 4.30 Ringside (HD). 5.30 Football Gold (HD) 5.45 Football Gold (S).

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). 8.00 Motorway Cops (R,S). Traffic police enforce the law on Britain’s most dangerous highways. 9.00 Tough Young Teachers (S,HD). Meryl risks losing her job. 10.00 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). Rich Hall hosts the stand-up show. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). A drunken Jake crashes his car. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). Meg becomes Mayor West’s intern. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.35 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 1.30 Tough Young Teachers (R,S,HD). Meryl risks losing her job. 2.30 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 3.00 Tough Young Teachers (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). Peter Powell presents an edition from January 18, 1979. 8.00 Ever Decreasing Circles (R). Martin spots a half-naked woman in Paul’s garden. 8.30 London on Film: The West End (R). Archive footage of the city’s West End. 9.00 Treasures of Ancient Egypt (HD). 10.00 Lost Land of the Volcano (R,HD). 11.00 Stories from the Dark Earth: Meet the Ancestors Revisited (R). 12.00 Rococo: Travel, Pleasure, Madness (R,HD). 1.00 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R,HD). 1.40 Ever Decreasing Circles (R). 2.10 Lost Land of the Volcano (R,HD). 3.10 Treasures of Ancient Egypt (R,HD).

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TV PICKS

PIERS MORGAN’S LIFE STORIES: BEVERLEY CALLARD 9pm, ITV

ROOM 101 8.30pm, BBC1

The Coronation Street star, who first appeared as Liz McDonald in 1989, looks back on her acting career and turbulent personal life.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted Down Under (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (S,HD). 11.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Father Brown (R,S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Man Down’s Roisin Conaty, Pointless star Richard Osman, and beloved broadcaster Joan Bakewell hope to convince host Frank Skinner that their list of loathed subjects is banished for the first of a new run. The inaugural category is Nature, and Joan gets to pitch her first choice.

BBC2

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming (R,S,HD). 7.45 Helicopter Heroes Down Under (R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone: Paul Hollywood’s Pies & Puds (R,S). 9.00 Sign Zone: The Sacred Wonders of Britain (R,S). 10.00 Question Time (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Live International Bowls (S). The World Indoor Championships. 5.15 Flog It! (R,S).

8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES COUNTDOWN 9pm, Channel 4

Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy panel show’s version of the famous quiz, with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by Dara O Briain and Sharon Horgan.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (S). David Dickinson heads to Liverpool’s Anglican Cathedral. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). Features, music and conversation. 3.59 Regional Weather (S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

STEVE MCQUEEN: ARE YOU SITTING UNCOMFORTABLY? – A CULTURE SHOW SPECIAL 11.05pm, BBC2

In the wake of the release of Baftanominated film 12 Years a Slave, Mark Kermode examines the history and culture of slavery, while director Steve McQueen chats about the making of the movie.

Channel 4

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Celebrity Big Brother (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.20 The Mentalist (R,S). The agents arrest a hitman in connection with a murder. 3.15 Film: Murder 101: College Can Be Murder (S) (2007). Murder mystery, starring Dick Van Dyke. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Italy Unpacked, 9pm

The Americans, 10.40pm

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 11.05pm

Celebrity Big Brother’s … 10.30pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22. Homer becomes a masked vigilante. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Nancy begs Maxine for answers.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). John gets a call from the Navy about Winston and Harvey. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

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7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Chris Evans and Alex Jones. 7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD). With Geoff Parling and Fran Halsall. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Eggheads (S,HD). 110/140. Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys (S,HD). 15/20. Michael Portillo completes his journey to Wolverhampton. 7.00 The Great Interior Design Challenge (S,HD). 5/12. Transforming the kitchens of three 1960s homes in Ashtead, Surrey.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Ali forces Megan to listen as she explains how Declan set Rachel up. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Roy opens the cafe as he tries to work through his grief.

7.00 News (S).

7.00 Ultimate Police Interceptors (R,S). Highlights of the documentary programme following specialised pursuit teams in Sheffield and Essex. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Linda suggests Mick should ask his father for some cash. 8.30 Room 101 (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Mastermind (S,HD). 20/31. Specialist subjects include Pulp and Catherine the Great. 8.30 An Island Parish (S,HD). 2/6. Karen Le Mouton puts herself forward to be considered for ordination.

8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show (S,HD). 4/6. A guide to mortgages. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Maddie breaks into No 4 looking for the watch.

8.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast (S,HD). 3/6. Amanda Holden rustles up a moussaka, Jamie Oliver prepares two-way chicken and Jimmy Doherty tries his hand at DIY kebabs. Plus, a recipe for maid of honour tarts.

8.00 Road Terror: Caught on Camera (R,S,HD). A bulldozer driver runs amok. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 8/10. Part two of two. As Nikki helps the victim’s father come to terms with his daughter’s death and his missing baby granddaughter, the sole eyewitness to the murder is found dead in suspicious circumstances.

9.00 Italy Unpacked (S,HD). 3/3. Andrew Graham-Dixon and Giorgio Locatelli visit the southern regions of Campania and Calabria, exploring the food and culture of Naples, Amalfi and Paestum. Last in the series.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Beverley Callard (S,HD). 4/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (S). 4/4. See Choices Above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final (S,HD). 22/22. See Choices Above.

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6 7 8 9

The Graham Norton Show, 10.35pm

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). 14/21. Graham brings together another group of celebrity guests for a mix of light-hearted chat and music.

10.00 QI (S,HD). 17/18. First of two compilations of highlights from the K series of the quiz, which featured guests including Susan Calman, Reginald D Hunter, Jack Whitehall and Victoria Wood. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.40 The Americans (R,S,HD). 5/13. The FBI employs a revolutionary new surveillance device to try to uncover a distressed KGB agent, so the Jennings attempt to defeat the system and reach their comrade.

10.00 My Big Fat Gypsy Holiday (R,S,HD). Following members of the travelling community planning trips abroad, from a bride-to-be going to Mexico for her honeymoon, to a young girl making a religious pilgrimage to Bosnia.

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(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.25 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. Max confronts Jake, convinced Lauren is pregnant, the Carters are annoyed to discover Nancy is still seeing Wayne, and Kat needs help with a delivery.

11.00 Weather (S,HD). 11.05 Steve McQueen: Are You Sitting Uncomfortably? – A Culture Show Special (S,HD). 29/32. See Choices Above.

11.30 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 4/7. Following the stag do, best man Martin wakes up in bed with Bianca – who reveals her true age – while Kenneth has a crisis at the salon and Joyce sets up a volleyball court.

11.05 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 2/22. Jake is assigned to a minor graffiti case. 11.35 Saw III (S,HD) (2006). Horror sequel, starring Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith and Angus MacFadyen. ●●●

1.15 Weatherview (S,HD). 1.20 BBC News (S,HD).

12.05 International Bowls (S). The World Indoor Championships. Action from the Open Singles quarter-finals at the Potters Leisure Resort in Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk. 1.05 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S). Topical debate from Dundee. 2.05 Sign Zone: The Culture Show: Gaga – The Mother Monster (R,S). Miranda Sawyer chats to Lady Gaga. 2.35 This Is BBC Two

12.25 Jackpot247. 3.00 Film: Best in Show (S,HD) (2000). Seven oddball doglovers take their pampered pups to the venue of a prestigious Philadelphia dog show, where their desperation to win first prize outweighs any consideration for their fellow human competitors. Spoof documentary, starring Eugene Levy. ●●●● 4.30 ITV Nightscreen (HD).

1.30 Random Acts (S,HD). A waltz with death, created by artist filmmaker Rankin. 1.35 Film: Thirst (HD) (2009). Horror from the director of Oldboy, starring Kang-ho Song and Ok-vin Kim. ●●● 3.50 Don’t Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 (S,HD). 4.10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent (R,S,HD). 5.05 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S). 5.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

10 11

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10.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). 16/16. Rylan Clark and his guests discuss tonight’s final, inviting Emma Willis, the audience and celebrity panelists to discuss whether the public made the right decision, and chat to the new champion, the runners-up and previous evictees. Last in the series.

12.00 SuperCasino 3.05 True CSI (S). New series. A woman’s body is found in an abandoned school, and with no other evidence to follow, investigators pay close scrutiny to a shoeprint discovered at the scene. 3.55 Highland Emergency (R,S,HD). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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TOP GUN 9pm, E4

After three weeks of nominations, tasks and evictions, the moment has arrived for the finalists as Emma Willis whittles them down and announces the winner.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.55 You’ve Been Framed! 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The Real Housewives of Orange County 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

An arrogant pilot’s maverick flying skills earn him a place in an elite US Navy school, where he falls for his civilian instructor. A tragedy in the air threatens to end his military career – until an international incident offers him a chance to redeem himself. Aerial action adventure, starring Tom Cruise.

Sky1

6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 (R,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed (R). 9.00 Glee (R,HD). 10.00 Made in Chelsea 11.00 Charmed 12.00 Rules of Engagement 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). 3.00 Made in Chelsea (R,HD). 4.00 Rules of Engagement 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD).

6.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Modern Family (R). 8.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 9.00 Hawaii Five0 (R,S,HD). 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 A League of Their Own (R,S). 3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R).

FILM PICKS

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER: THE FINAL 9pm, Channel 5

SURROGATES 9pm, BBC3

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT 9pm, ITV2

An FBI agent in a future where people only interact through robot doubles ventures into the real world to catch a killer. Sci-fi thriller, with Bruce Willis.

GOLD

An American teenager living in Japan gets involved in illegal street racing. Adventure, with Lucas Black.

Sky Sports 1

6.10 The Brittas Empire 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.20 As Time Goes By 8.00 Jeeves and Wooster 9.10 Keeping Up Appearances 9.50 2point4 Children 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine 11.50 Open All Hours 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 2.10 To the Manor Born 2.50 As Time Goes By 3.25 Jeeves and Wooster 4.40 Keeping Up Appearances 5.20 Last of the Summer Wine

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Ringside (HD). 10.00 Coppa Italia Football. 11.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 12.00 Ringside (HD). 1.00 Premier League World (S,HD). 1.30 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 2.30 Football Gold (S). 2.45 Football Gold (S). 3.00 Ringside (HD). 4.00 Copa Del Rey Football (HD). 5.00 Ringside (HD).

Take Me Out, 11.10pm

How I Met Your ... 7.30pm

Stella, 9pm

Open All Hours, 6.40pm

The Fantasy ... 6.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,HD). A woman from Swansea hopes to find love.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). Sheldon tries to extend his lifespan. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD).

6.00 Modern Family (R,S). Comedy following three dysfunctional households. 6.30 The Simpsons (S).

6.00 Last of the Summer Wine 6.40 Open All Hours. Arkwright has the washday blues.

6.00 PDC Darts Awards (HD). 6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R). A cat that uses a fork to eat.

7.00 Hollyoaks (HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,HD). Marshall and Lily are concerned about Ted’s new girlfriend.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). Marge has a nervous breakdown. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). With the guest voice of Dolly Parton.

7.20 Open All Hours. The milkwoman makes a pass at Granville. Comedy, starring Ronnie Barker.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R). Charlie is humiliated online. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R). One of Alan’s old school friends visits. Jon Cryer and Marin Hinkle star.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,HD). The group spends the Thanksgiving holiday at Mrs Wolowitz’s house. 8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,HD). Max applies to a pastry school in Manhattan.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). The family attends a barbecue at Gloria and Jay’s house. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). The first day of school arrives.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic review of Life on Mars. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. Comic review of TV favourites.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Brentford v Gillingham (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the League One match at Griffin Park, between two clubs with different aspirations for the season. The Bees are challenging for automatic promotion, while the visitors are looking to move clear of the relegation zone with a surprise victory.

9.00 Top Gun (HD) (1986). An 9.00 Stella (S,HD). New series. 9.00 Come Fly with Me. 9.00 The Fast and the arrogant pilot’s maverick Comedy drama, with Furious: Tokyo Drift Omar Baba deals with a flying skills earn him a Ruth Jones. Stella decides (HD) (2006). An American staff mutiny. Guest place in an elite US Navy to focus on work and teenager is sent to live starring Dale Winton. school, where he comes family – although a with his father in Tokyo 9.40 Little Britain. Vicky into conflict with a handsome lawyer proves after a brush with the Pollard becomes a fellow student and falls distracting. Aunty law, but soon becomes babysitter. Guest starring for his civilian instructor. Brenda’s wayward involved in illegal street David Baddiel. A tragedy in the air daughter returns. racing. When he ends up threatens to end his owing money to military career – until an gangsters after losing a 10.20 Little Britain. Sir 10.00 A League of Their 10.00 The Fantasy Football international incident race against a driver with Norman Fry explains an Own (R,S,HD). James Club (HD). John Fendley offers him a chance to Yakuza connections, he embarrassing incident Corden hosts the sports and Paul Merson present redeem himself. Aerial has to learn to master with a glace cherry, quiz, with guests Jimmy a discussion on key action adventure, the Japanese style of while Vicky Pollard Carr, Olympic skeleton fantasy football issues, as starring Tom Cruise, driving to win and pay proves hopelessly inept champion Amy Williams well as the weekend’s Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, back his debts. Action in her new career as a and Dutch footballer Premier League matches. Anthony Edwards and adventure, starring Lucas babysitter. Guest starring Edgar Davids. Also featuring guests Tom Skerritt. See Choices Black, Nathalie Kelley David Baddiel. from the worlds of sport Above. ●●● and Bow Wow. See and showbiz. Choices Above. ●● 11.10 Take Me Out (R,HD). 11.10 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Road Wars (R,S,HD). A A PE teacher, a farmer, a (R,HD). criminal races through student and a Team GB 11.40 The Big Bang Theory the grounds of Milton taekwondo athlete take Keynes hospital, and an (R,HD). Sheldon searches part. Paddy McGuinness American patrol officer for an alternative to presents. is stunned when a human companionship. speeding driver claims he is blind.

11.00 Little Britain Abroad. First of two comedy specials, starring Matt Lucas and David Walliams. 11.40 Little Britain Abroad

11.00 Football’s Greatest International Teams (S,HD). A look at some of the greatest teams in the history of the game. 11.30 PDC Darts Awards (HD).

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R). 12.45 Two and a Half Men (R). 1.10 Mom (R). Comedy, starring Anna Faris and Allison Janney. 1.35 Mom (R). Christy and Bonnie work through a family crisis. 2.05 You’ve Been Framed! (R). 2.30 Teleshopping. Buying goods from home.

12.20 Come Fly with Me. Peter and Judith get involved in the dark arts of voodoo, airline owner Omar Baba deals with a staff mutiny and Tommy finally gets his interview to be a pilot. 1.00 Little Britain 1.30 Little Britain 2.00 Little Britain Abroad 2.30 Little Britain Abroad

12.00 Football League Gold 12.15 Football League Gold 12.30 Live Tour Down Under Cycling (HD). Stage five of the annual race from Adelaide. 4.30 Football League Gold 4.45 Football League Gold 5.00 Premier League Preview (HD). 5.30 PDC Darts Awards (HD).

12.05 The Midnight Beast (R). 12.40 PhoneShop (R,HD). 1.15 Cardinal Burns (R,HD). 1.45 Very Important People (R,HD). 2.15 Balls of Steel Australia (R). 2.40 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,HD). 3.05 The Cleveland Show (R,HD). 3.30 One Tree Hill (R,HD). 4.10 Glee 4.55 Ugly Betty (R,HD).

12.00 Road Wars (R,S). Police officers combat vehicle crime. 1.00 Night Cops (R,S,HD). 2.00 Brit Cops: Zero Tolerance (R,S,HD). 3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA (R,S,HD).

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who’s Greatest Moments: The Enemies (R,S). 7.30 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). New York’s statues come to life. 8.15 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). 9.00 Surrogates (S,HD) (2009). See Choices Above. ●●● 10.25 Great Movie Mistakes: Revenge of the Fifth (R,S). Blunders in Hollywood films. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S,HD). 11.45 Live at the Electric (S,HD). 12.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.40 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 Uncle (R,S,HD). 1.30 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents: Thailand (R,S,HD). 2.30 Live at the Electric (R,S,HD). 3.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 3.30 Uncle

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather 7.30 BBC Proms Chamber Music (HD). Performances of works by Benjamin Britten and John Dowland. Last in the series. 8.00 Julian Bream at the BBC (HD). The work of the English classical guitarist and lutenist. Last in the series. 9.00 Born to Be Wild (HD). The story of US rock music in the 1980s. Last in the series. 10.00 Bon Jovi in Concert (HD). A performance at the BBC Radio Theatre recorded in 2013. 11.00 Classic Albums (R). 12.00 Born to Be Wild (R,HD). 1.00 Bon Jovi in Concert (R). 2.00 Great American Rock Anthems: Turn It Up to 11 (R). 3.00 Classic Albums (R).

FRIDAY January 24 ��’� ��

Homes &Living �� ’� ��

Harry Potter Studio Tour Day Trip Saturday 8th February Come along for a behind the scenes tour at Warner Bros Studio London

Call 01454 319047 to book now spaces are limited! *Includes coach and 3 hour studio tour

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Holidays

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