The Weekend 21 March 2014 by Weekend-BristolPost

Weekend The

FROM 7, 2014 ISSUE 94 WHAt tOFRIDAY, DO WItHMARCH YOUR tIME AnD MOnEY

FROM FRIDAY, MARCH 21, 2014 ISSUE 96

Holy Metronomy! The band of the hour delivers love letters to Bristol

LEARn tO WALK nORDIC StYLE

RIvER COttAgE REvISItED

WE’RE ALL OFF tO ARCADIA

DAYS OUt OvER tHE BRIDgE

IDEAS

If you see one show

Take a

trip

Arcadia to

If you’re looking for inspiration on how to make the most of your free time... this is the place to start

Competition Two family tickets to the Fleet Air Arm Museum to be won

��

If you try one gadget

Augment your

Reality �� ’� ��

�� ’� �� ’�� ‘��’ �� ’� ��

��’� � ��’� ��

If you need a laugh

Gentle

giant

��’� �� ’� � ��

If you go to one gig

Crowning ��

��

glory

�� ’� ��

If you see one film

If you’re shopping

Starred Spring! �� NpstB Xhnl <9

�� ’�� ’ �� [ovwwpunB Xhnl >

If you’re on a budget

A peek inside

Ethel’s

Case

�� ’� �� ’� �� [ovwwpunB Xhnlz </=

If you’re getting in shape

Walk this way �� Plhs{o/Np{ulzzB Xhnlz 98/99

Ideas weekend for the

and the

If you need to put your feet up

week ahead

Robot

servant �� Ohknl{zB Xhnl 9>

If you try one day out The land

beyond

bridge the

If you go out for lunch

Grounded �� ’� �� Mh{pun W|{B Xhnl :8

If you’re staying in

Louis’ LA �� \^B Xhnl >=

�� – �� Lh z W|{B Xhnlz 9@/9A ��

SHOPPING AS

GOOD AS NEW Independent of the week Natalie Banyard takes a peek at the pre-owned treasures inside Ethel’s Case

hen Diana Zikking was searching for inspiration for the name of her new shop, little did she know she would find it at her grandmother’s funeral. Diana, who opened her second hand children’s clothes shop in Clevedon last October, was at her grandmother Ethel’s funeral last year when family members revealed the 94-year-old used to sell second hand clothes as a child. Ethel, who was one of seven children, used to work with her mum selling the clothes – some of which were hers and her brother’s and sister’s – out of a suitcase on the streets of East London. “This was the inspiration I needed for the name of the shop,” smiles Diana, “and Ethel’s Case was born.” For Diana, who worked in retail before she had her two children, now 10 and 14, it was a lifelong dream to open her own shop. She says: “When I decided to return to the retail industry, I wanted to do something for myself rather than work for

someone else, which is why the idea for Ethel’s Case came about. “I saw a gap in the market and grasped it – there isn’t anywhere else in Clevedon that caters for children, offering good-quality clothes at affordable prices.” The shop sells second hand and new children’s clothes for one to 13-year-olds and it’s already proving a hit with locals. It’s no surprise given that children’s clothes can cost almost as much as adults’ and they grow out of them within a matter of weeks! About two thirds of Ethel’s Case is devoted to pre-owned boys and girls clothing from labels such as Next, Gap, Monsoon and Clarks. The constantly updated stock includes everything from pretty party dresses and smart shirts for special occasions to jeans and tracksuits for rough and tumble in the garden. There’s also a selection of quality shoes, trainers and sandals. A smaller area of the store is devoted to new, but cheap, clothing including jumpers, T-shirts and trousers. “These are last season and end-of-line clothes which means the cost is kept right down,”

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

explains Diana. “It’s stuff that kids can wear to the park, to nursery or keep at nan and grandad’s house.” And it’s not just clothing. There’s a range of new accessories, including children’s hats, purses and jewellery as well as a selection of fancy dress costumes at the rear of the store. “The fancy dress section is proving really popular,” says Diana, “and I’ve started getting bits in for ballet lessons, which is snapped up as quickly as it comes in.” But the shop isn’t just

convenient for those who are buying clothes on a budget – they can also be sold. People can take in their unwanted, good quality clothes for Diana to sell and, in turn, receive 50 per cent of the price. The clothes need to be freshly ironed and laundered and free from stains or notable wear. Diana rarely accepts budget and supermarket brands and clothing must be seasonal. The clothes are then placed in the shop for up to four weeks, at the end of which you can collect your proceeds, or your unsold

top buys �� ’� ��

��

2 �� ’� ��

3 4

items. If clothes are not collected, they will be donated to charity. “As well as the fact that Ethel’s Case is the only dedicated children’s clothes shop in Clevedon, we are also offering a way for people to recycle their unwanted children’s clothes and get something back for them,” says Diana. “Recycling is more and more popular and the shop also gives people a chance to buy items from some of the more expensive retailers, which perhaps they couldn’t normally

afford in the current economic climate. “It’s nice for people who have children’s clothes they’ve never or barely worn to be able to get something back for them, and great for those wanting to buy good quality stuff for their little ones without it costing the earth. “I think my grandmother would be chuffed by Ethel’s Case!”

��’� ��

5 6

��

PUT A SPRING IN THEIR STEP It’s time to ditch the scarves and jumpers and add a touch of spring to your little one’s wardrobe.

�’�� [|ym \5zopy{ U/[4 myvt ô>

�� Phww \5zopy{ Vl {4 myvt ô>6=8

��’�� [rpy{ U/[4 myvt ô9>

�’�� alssv~ Pp5\vwz Vl {4 myvt ô9;

�� Ny|np Zl}lyzpisl Xpuhmvyl Lylzz Rvou Tl~pz4 ô:>

��’�� Xpur Opunoht [ovlz [ovlbvul4 ôA6AA

6 Weekend From Friday, March 21, 2014

(" " "

) $ + ++

" & " " ) & " % " * " % ) ) " #

''' % Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

BRIGHT IDEAS Spring has officially sprung. Bring some of that lovely sunshine into your home with these bright and beautiful accessories.

�� Vl~nh{l [wypun _h{ly _hss Ksvjr Rvou Tl~pz4 ô>8

�� ’� �� Zhiip{ Thtw Olvynl h{ I[LI4 ô:=

�� alssv~ K|zopvu Olvynl h{ I[LI4 ô?

�� Xov{v Kopjr U|n U/[4 ô>

8 Weekend From Friday, March 21, 2014

�� Xhpu{lys Zvzl / Jpn [wv{ [{vyhnl Jv lz Kh{o Spkz{vu4 ô:8

�� Sup{{lk Xvk Vl {4 ô?8

$ $ $ &% * &! $ &+

- ( + %- &( % & % ) (- & + % )( ) & ) ( & ( &( % % - & %( ( )%& # % $ # &( ( ) % $ ) (%- & , & ( )( ) % & % & & (( ! % ()% & % ( " )& % + ( % ) & ( % % ' '

ĂŹ ()% (% + % ( % ĂŹ , (&$ % & % &( ( ( % & % ĂŹ + & ( ( %

ĂŹ )%& % ) (%- &( ( ) % ) (%- ( % & % & ĂŹ & %+ & ( )% %

+& ! + % %% +!* % , & * +& ))) ) $ $ ( " ! + & !&* "" %! # !+ . &! % ! * ! # ! !* % "%!, %&$ % & . , %.# " % * . - % * %! !* ! & * # ' ' # % & % " % " %&! & ! *-! & % # + * *! , *.#

&+"" *& "" .# % & ! * ! & "" .# & &+"" %& % " * ! ! !% # .!+ % &"! * ! . &+"" % ! !% . ! * * .!+ - * ! %&(& %, & * * . ! * % &*# & , .!+% ! !% * & .!+ - & *! % , &+ ! %& . !% # - !* , .!+% * & *! !* % ! " & - * !+* .!+% " % && ! #

The Bathroom Destination Store for the West of England

scan the image to see more

4000 sq feet of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;real lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; bathroom displays OfďŹ cial supplier of the major bathroom brands Design, supply and installation service available

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t invest in your new bathroom without seeing us ďŹ rst! Bathrooms 365 Ltd, Units 14 and 15, Walker Way, Thornbury Industrial Estate, Thornbury, Bristol, BS35 3US www.bathrooms365.com | 01454 417111 Nyvt NypkhÂ&#x20AC;4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

HEALTH&FITNESS

Zvz Qunsli huk ^pjr _lszo6 Xpj{|ylzB Lh}l Jl{{z

NO WALK IN THE PARK Health&Fitness People who like to keep very fit might be dismissive of ordinary walking. They should try Nordic walking, says Kate Edser, who joins a group in Bristol for a jaunt that’s tougher than it looks.

t’s one of those activities that, from a fitness perspective, you might not take seriously – until you try it. And after about ten minutes you’ll realise, while puffing and sweating mildly, that Nordic walking is a very decent workout indeed. In fact, it involves more than 90 per cent of the skeletal muscle system and, once you get into the swing of it, you can apparently burn 46 per cent more calories than ordinary walking. Judging from my own recent experience, that’s entirely believable. This is partly because the Nordic version

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

is generally faster than ordinary walking (perhaps 4.5mph) and partly because the purposeful use of poles to propel the body forward engages the upper body and core too. You’ll notice how if you give it a try it with any old stick: hold it so your forearm is parallel to the ground, push down and feel those belly muscles tightening. In our city, the only organised group sessions are run by Bristol Nordic Walking, whose directors, Vicky Welsh and Ros Ingleby, both have backgrounds as fitness instructors and personal trainers. So there’s no dawdling. At all.

I join one of their regular groups on an hour’s jaunt around beautiful Ashton Court Estate. We meet in the top car park, near the golf course and just beyond the Suspension Bridge, where a café provides pre-walk loos and post-walk tea and cake. With the sun out and the city vista spread before us, we set off purposefully, and the chat starts straight away – there’s no mistaking this is also a social occasion. As we stride over the brow of a hill, a herd of red deer raise regal heads and ponder our existence before deigning to shift nonchalantly off the rough path. We drop

��

down into the valley (soft knees, leaning back into the poles) before turning upwards once more and circling back to the car park. Brimming with enthusiasm and with an air of jolly, but friendly authority, Vicky and Ros mingle constantly, giving route markers and tips on technique. Vicky says the basic principle is that the better your technique, the more your body works. “You’ll pick up the technique within six sessions, but what happens after three months is that the body has processed the technique and it integrates it, so it becomes natural. “The people who pick it up the quickest are not the very sporty types, but people who love walking and want to take walking to another level.” Though commonplace in Europe, where it has become a competitive sport, Nordic walking is relatively fresh into the UK, where it is still a leisure activity. Vicky explains: “It started in Finland in the 1930s – the cross-country ski team wanted to do summer training. Nordic walking poles are lower, so you’re not starting from such a high point, but the whole action comes from cross-country skiing and it is based entirely

�� ’�� “��” �� ~~~6iypz{vsuvykpj~hsrpun6jv6|r� �� ~~~6mhjlivvr6jvt 7Jypz{vsVvykpj_hsrpun�

on your normal walking gait and that is why it naturally suits our bodies. And, if you’ve seen cross-country skiing you can see how vigorous it can be. “We have a fitness group, a fast walking group and a mixed-ability group. Normal walking is about 3mph, with the mixed ability group I like to get to 4mph and with the fast walkers I like to get to 4.5mph. “It’s one of the few sports which keeps your chest open, because you plant the poles behind you and push back, which also means your engage your tummy muscles. So it’s good for people with back problems, or tension in the neck.” Several people in the group tell me their previous back, neck or shoulder problems have lessened or disappeared altogether since they took up Nordic walking. Meanwhile, pilates instructor Faith has had so many enquiries from fellow Nordic walkers that she’s devised a class specifically for them. So we know it’s great exercise, it’s fun and sociable, but is it cool? At present, Bristol Nordic Walking is attracting a clientele comprising mostly women aged from their mid-thirties, and lots who are retired, though not necessarily in their sixties. More men are joining, but a couple of ladies I speak to say their mostly grown-up children gently snigger at the thought of striding about the countryside with a pair of poles – until they try it and realise what hard work it can be. Vicky is also keen to cite Nordic walking as a valuable form of rehab from sickness or injury, which is what drew her to the sport in the first place. She explains: “The mother of a child at my daughter’s school was diagnosed with cancer. As a fitness instructor it bothered me and I felt I should be able to do something to help her because I knew that fitness was very important for cancer, both during treatment and after. “I researched what I thought I could do with her and came up with Nordic walking. I got very excited when I found it – I thought ‘this is amazing’, so I trained to be a Nordic walking instructor and contacted her. Independently, she had already started Nordic walking and she still does today. “There are also a couple of GPs who walk with us who refer patients to us.” Vicky also runs classes in Nordic walking at a Bristol-based cancer charity. “I work at Penny Brohn Cancer Care, so I’m working with people in a deconditioned, vulnerable state. If they’ve got two poles like walking sticks it gives support and confidence, and it holds your posture completely accurately, whether you’re going uphill or downhill.” Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

& -4!.!&

!&) !) " ! ! "& * )& ! " * !, !& (# & ! (- & *% * *)* %* & % % &) & & & + %. ) ) , % % , ) %& % % ) ) & + % & % . )% &) %)& ) . & , % * .& ) & #

)! ! ) " ì )&$ ) % & + %. & ), & % ), ì %&) && % ) %) ) ì ) * %)& ' & ! %)* " % ! % " %) ! %)* " %* ! " ì - ) & %+ % )) ) + % , ì % ) % ) & ) % ) * % * & ì ) % ) ) ) & & ì &* % % % &). & ) %) ) ì % ) + * &) & %& ì , % % &*% ) &

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

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

MY DAY ON A PLATE Plhs{o huk mp{ulzz Qu {ol mpyz{ vm h ul~ zlyplz vm mlh{|ylz4 ~l zwlhr {v zvtl ~lss5ruv~u mhjlz hiv|{ {olpy kpl{ huk mp{ulzz ylnptlz6 VhtlB ZW[MIVVI 0ZW[QM1 NZI[KWVI � �� InlB �� IkkylzzB �� XyvmlzzpvuB �� Pv~ ~v|sk v| klzjypil v|y kpl{G �� Lv v| oh}l hu zwljpmpj u|{yp{pvuhs ylx|pyltlu{zG �’� �� _oh{ kv v| kv i ~h vm l lyjpzlG �� ’� �� ’�� Jylhrmhz{B �� T|ujoB �� LpuulyB �� [uhjrz huk zpuzB �� ’�� ’�� ’�� ’��

VhtlB KTIQZM ZWOMZ[ �� InlB �� IkkylzzB �� XyvmlzzpvuB �� Pv~ ~v|sk v| klzjypil v|y kpl{G � �� Lv v| oh}l hu zwljpmpj u|{yp{pvuhs ylx|pyltlu{zG �� _oh{ kv v| kv i ~h vm l lyjpzlG � �� Jylhrmhz{B �� T|ujo huk kpuulyB �� [uhjrz huk zpuzB �� – �� – �� ’� �� Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

GADGETS

Cheaper drive

�� ’� �� ’� �� {pu |ys6jvt7t<k@i~:

Get the hype

Fighting to protect the web we want [{vy vm {ol ~llr \ol ~li pz := lhyz vsk4 huk |ukly {oylh{6 \ol thu ~ov pu}lu{lk p{4 \pt Jlyulyz5Tll4 pz ~vyyplk hiv|{ p{z m|{|yl6 Xlyohwz v| jhu olsw6

wenty-five years ago, Tim Berners-Lee invented something new for the internet: a technology he originally called “Mesh”, but we know today as the web (www.w3.org/People/BernersLee/). It’s important to know the difference between internet and web. The internet is the global network of networks, linking computers of all sorts together across phone lines then, and fibre optic cables now. The web is a layer that sits on top. A simpler way to publish, edit and navigate. Its simplicity was its greatest asset. Anyone could use it, so everyone did. The early web was an open web; and Berners-Lee is worried we’re about to lose it (info.cern.ch/Proposal.html). That’s why he’s backing something called The Web We Want (www.webwewant.org) – a campaign to support the open web. The web that’s decentralised, neutral, and affordable for everyone. It comes at just the right time. Big

companies are taking over the web, trying to maximise the money they can make from it. In the US, the idea of “net neutrality” is at risk – that is, the idea that the infrastructure, the wires and cables and wifi nodes, remains open to all web traffic, regardless of who publishes it. Some big corporates want to change that. They want to remake the web like subscription TV. You’d get a small handful of websites for free, then have to pay for

add-ons or bundles of extra content. Want Facebook? You’d have to shell out for the Social Media bundle. Like online newspapers? Another News bundle. And so on. That’s not the web Tim Berners-Lee imagined, and not the web future generations can learn from and build upon. Remember the message he posted at the London Olympics opening ceremony: “This is for everyone.” That’s the web we want.

\ol vypnpuhs thjopul vu ~opjo [py \pt Jlyulyz5 Tll4 puzl{ hiv}l4 klzpnulk {ol _vysk _pkl _li6 \vw4 h tlzzhnl {v {ol ~vysk h{ {ol Tvukvu Ws twpjz

�� o wlt6jvt�

Play 2048

�� ’� �� “�” �� “�” �� “�”� �� “�”� �� “��” �� ’� �� nhiyplsljpy|ssp6 np{o|i6pv7:8<@7 ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

CLEAN MACHINES That spring clean is upon us once again, so as the nation dons its Marigolds, digs out its feather dusters and gives its homes a good going over, perhaps these useful gadgets can automate some of the more tedious chores.

�� ’� �� ’�� [htz|un Vh}piv{ KvyulyKslhu ô>;<6AA myvt hth vu6jv6|r

�� ’�� ^pslkh Mhz _ypun zl{ 0pujs|klz tpjyvmpiyl tvw huk i|jrl{1 ô:96A8 myvt hth vu6jv6|r

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

�� ’�� \ohul P:8 `= ô?A6AA myvt {ohulkpylj{6jv6|r

�� L zvu LK=A hupths ô;<A6AA myvt k zvu6jv6|r

�� \|yiv Jy|zo ô9<6AA myvt qtskpylj{6jvt

�� L|z{ Uvw zspwwlyz ô;6AA myvt mpuktlhnpm{6jv6|r

��

% 5 +## )! " 4) 6'4, !2 $- ',

'4, 4%5 %2 4,%!24, % # 2,! #- % #) 4- 2 " !%-2 ,2 !- - * '## 2 ## -',2- ' !2 $-

*! .\ .\ / ' .\ # $-. .\ $p $i. .#$)" ( #$) .\ !-$ " . ( '' ' /-$ ' $/ (. ( . *).*' .\ * &$)" ./ /$*).

'' *- **& *)'$) / *', *4"0 '## 2!'% 7 (. &7( $!%-2 , 7 (. 7/(3 !% -5''

' . *)i/ $. ++*$)/ $! 3 - 1) ' /* +/ $/ (. !*- - .*). *! . ! /5 *- ,1 '$/5

" "& $ ! )& ! ! " ! & ! ! * !" " + * !+ ! & " !& ) & (, ' ! "& ! ! &+ " (( # & ,' ($

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

DAYS OUT

THERE’S LOVELY Cardiff special Steve Mellen looks across the Severn for a selection of days out ideas in the Welsh capital

here can you ride white water rapids, shop until you drop, be chased by a Dalek, walk in beautiful parklands in the heart of a capital city and try abseiling and whisky tasting? The answer is just across the Severn Bridge from Bristol. You’d expect there to be plenty to do in Cardiff – it is a capital city after all – but you might not realise how much is going on “over there”. The Welsh have been busy, particularly in Cardiff Bay, which now bristles with top-class attractions, while elsewhere in the city centre you might not realise what you

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

can do for free. You can divide the city on rudimentary lines as castle, centre, stadium and bay. Cardiff Castle is hard to avoid, its imposing walls stare down on the city centre, adding to the look and feel of the city. It’s 2,000 years old and is one of the country’s leading attractions. If you don’t want to pay the admission charge, but you’re in the area, then there is something next door that you can enjoy without spending a penny. Bute Park is a Cardiff’s green lung. Its 56 hectares of mature parkland is flanked by the River Taff, Sophia Gardens, Pontcanna Fields and the castle. It is one of the largest urban parks in

Wales, and is the size of 75 football pitches. If the weather’s nice, there isn’t anywhere in the city better for a wander, or a picnic. The Millennium Stadium is a great place to be if there’s a major sporting event on, particularly when Six Nations rugby union is in town, but even when the pitch is empty you can still enjoy stadium tours. It’s hard to miss the stadium even if you aren’t visiting it, as it dominates the skyline from most angles. You might be surprised to hear that Cardiff is rated very highly for its shops – the sixth best destination for shoppers in the UK no less. As well as modern centres such as St David’s and Capitol Shopping Centre, there

OM\\QVO \PMZMB ��

Cardiff for free

��

�� are also six Edwardian or Victorian arcades that have been preserved as the city has developed around them. It’s hard to know where to begin with Cardiff Bay. Perhaps the most impressive of the newer developments is the Cardiff International White Water Centre. You can either take on these man-made rapids in a dinghy with an instructor to help, or by canoe. The centre is part of the Cardiff International Sports Village, which is also home to the city’s ice arena, and its international standard swimming pool. The Doctor Who Experience has also found a home in the bay, in a futuristic-looking building where you can wiggle the levers inside a full-scale Tardis, be given instructions by the Doctor himself and encounter his most feared opponent, the Daleks. One for the kids (and those who are still big kids at heart). There are also seven golf clubs in Cardiff, a karting arena with 400m of track, cycle trails and the Wales Coast Path. In truth, more than you can fit into a day – but you can always visit again. You can find information on all of the above, and more, at www.visitcardiff.com.

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’�� ’ ��

�� ’� �� Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

EATING OUT Lunch with the family Country pub in safe hands \ol Olvynl 9:= Nhyslpno Zvhk4 Jhjr~lss4 Jypz{vs4 J[<@ ;XO6 \lsB 89:?= <>:??86

Lunch on a budget Gaining Ground in Bedminster Oyv|uklk >>5>@ Jlktpuz{ly Xhyhkl4 Jlktpuz{ly4 Jypz{vs4 J[; <PT6 \lsB 899? A:; 98886

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

Reviews by Mark Taylor

�� ’� ��

�� – � ��

�� ’� �� ’ ��

�� ’� �� – � ��

Verdict Kvtmvy{pun ihy5yvvt jshzzpjz huk ~lss5wylzlu{lk ylz{h|yhu{ zwljphsz4 \ol Olvynl z{yprlz {ol jvyylj{ ihshujl mvy h mhtps 5mypluks 4 v|{5vm5{v~u nhz{yvw|i6

Verdict I ~pkl5yhunpun tlu| vm mhtpsphy4 wvw|shy kpzolz h{ zluzpisl wypjl wvpu{z {v z|p{ hss i|knl{z4 Oyv|uklk pz kvpun l hj{s ~oh{ h ulpnoiv|yovvk jhm° zov|sk6

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

Dinner for grown-ups Underwhelming and overpriced Zp}ly Kv{{hnl Khu{llu �� ’� ��

New opening One for the chilli-lovers out there ��’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� – �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� � �� ’� �� – � �� – �� – �� ’� ��

�� ’� �� – ��

�� – � �� “�� ” �� ’� � �� – �� ’� ��

� �� ’� �� ’� �� – �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� � ��

Verdict ��

Verdict �� ’� ��

Food diary ��

��

Pub of the week Sportsmans [wvy{zthuz <8 Kvsz{vu [{yll{4 Jypz{vs4 J[9 =IM6 \lsB 899? A:? ;=;<6

�� ’� �� “�� ” �� – �� – �� ’� � �� ’� �� ’� ��

�� – �� ’� �� – �� ’� ��

��

� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� ��

��

Wine of the week Torres Salmos Priorat 2011

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’ �� ’� �� ’ ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

EATING IN Spring lamb is perfect for a warming stew

anish chef Trine Hahnemann is often hailed as Denmark’s answer to Delia Smith and her books have confirmed her as the authority on Nordic cuisine. Hahnemann, who splits her time between Copenhagen and London, has written five cookbooks in her native Denmark and also three in English, including The Scandinavian Cookbook. This compact and attractively priced hardback features 100 seasonal recipes from Denmark, Norway and Sweden, representing the essence of Scandinavian cooking, with an emphasis on simple, healthy ingredients, which reflect today’s desire to eat lighter food without sacrificing look or flavour. Each chapter showcases Lars Ranek’s stunning and evocative photography of both the food and the stark and icy Scandinavian landscapes. Recipes for spring include mint, apricot and celery stuffed lamb with spinach and minted roast potatoes; baked sea trout with new potatoes and smoked-cheese cream; and rhubarb trifle. This delicious recipe for lamb stew is perfect for this time of the year between late winter and early spring, when the days are getting longer and warmer, but there is still a nip in the air and the prospect of April showers. “The quality of Scandinavian lamb is high,” says Hahnemann. “Our sheep live on hillsides, meadows or marshes – all places where the winter weather in particular can be rather rough, with high winds, rain and even snow. The lambs are exercised as they move around, following the low ebb and the high tide, and so their meat is very tender. This stew is especially nice when the weather is wet and chilly.”

Xpj{|ylB Thyz Zhulr

Thti z{l~ ~p{o yvzlthy thzo [ly}lz > � ��

I \ol [jhukpuh}phu Kvvrivvr i \ypul Phoulthuu4 w|ispzolk i Y|hkypssl4 ô9:6AA

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

��

� � ��é ��

� ��

��

ADVERTISING FEATURE

The home-from-home cruise that departs from your doorstep

t’s the time of year when people begin to plan and look forward to their holidays for the months ahead. With travelling through airports stressful and difficult, more and more people are choosing to cruise from the UK, avoiding all the hassle, restrictions (and for some, the fear) of flying. Plus you get to visit a string of diverse destinations in one trip – you can see why 1.8 million Britons took a cruise last year. For years, the luxury of cruising from a local port has been reserved for those who live near to Southampton. For 2014, however, as part of a brand new programme of sailings from Fred. Olsen Cruise Lines, its classically-styled ship, Boudicca, will offer a range of sailings from Avonmouth, Bristol. It is anticipated that people will be drawn to sail from Bristol from a wide area, bringing more business to the region, though it is local

holidaymakers who are likely to benefit the most. Along with just 800 other guests, you can hop on board Fred. Olsen’s ship and cruise to some fascinating destinations, including the Canary Islands and Lisbon; Dubrovnik, Venice, Athens; and Reykjavik, Olden, Bergen and Flåm in Norway. Sailings depart from late April to mid June, covering durations from six nights to nearly a month. While cruising is often seen as expensive and luxurious, it can be a very inexpensive way to holiday. On its cruises from Bristol, Fred. Olsen includes all meals, live entertainment and shows, daytime activities and, of course, en suite accommodation too, with prices from £71 per person, per night. Drinks on board cost about the same as a local pub back home too, so you won’t need to loosen the purse strings as much as you’d think, or you can take Fred. Olsen’s offer to

Above and top, Fred. Olsen Cruise Lines’ classically-styled ship, Boudicca, which will be sailing out of Avonmouth this year go all inclusive with a package priced at just £10 per person per night. With cruising becoming more popular with a wider audience, there are different types of ships to meet the needs of different types of holidaymakers. New gigantic mega-ships are being launched all the time, with ever more facilities and on-board options, making the ship as

much of a destination as the places you’ll cruise to. Other lines, such as those sailing from Bristol, have smaller, more traditionally-styled ships, which offer a more intimate, relaxed style of travelling, with the emphasis on good service and a home-from-home atmosphere. If that appeals, you’ll find cruises departing from your doorstep this year.

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

TRAVEL

GREAT BRITTANY World travel Tim Davey heads for Brittany’s fascinating Gulf of Morbihan and discovers a pre-history lesson on the doorstep of his picture postcard holiday home.

magine you could drive into Bath to see its Roman and Georgian relics and park for free. Or head into Bristol to check out the ss Great Britain and do the same. Or Stonehenge. Or anywhere with a sliver of sand that’s brazen enough to call itself a beach. One thing you can be certain of is that none of the above would be possible. Someone would either be demanding payment to park or you’d be pushing coins into a pay and display machine. The French have always impressed me by, in the main, doing things very differently.

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

Take Carnac as an example. Many thousands of happy Brit families know it as a great place to take a seaside vacation on the south coast of Brittany. But there’s more to Carnac than that. It’s world famous for its prehistoric remains. Think versions of the stones found at places like Stonehenge and Avebury, only smaller in stature. Then think hundreds and hundreds of them, standing like an army to attention, in regimented lines across acres and acres of countryside. They are visually stunning and, yes, there’s a shop and visitor centre and viewing

platform, too, alongside the start of this spectacle just on the outskirts of the town. But what there is not is any charge for parking. This amazing attraction is free, gratis, libre. Such an approach is so refreshing and is one we found repeated often on our stay in Locmariaquer, not too far distant from Carnac, at the gateway to what is known as the Gulf of Morbihan. For this fascinating piece of the French coast, more like an inland sea, actually, is not only dotted with many islands large and small, but also boasts a plethora of

NIK\NQTM pt Lh}l {yh}lsslk v}lyupno{ i jhy {v Nyhujl ~p{o Jyp{{hu Nlyyplz myvt Xs tv|{o {v Zvzjvmm6 \ol zopwz oh}l }hypv|z zp l jhipuz4 ~p{o lu z|p{l mhjpsp{plz4 huk mvy |w {v kh{l mhylz huk vmmlyz v| jhu joljr v|{ {ol ~lizp{l ~~~6iyp{{hu mlyyplz6jvt6 Plyl4 v| jhu hszv ivvr vuspul4 vy jhss 8@?9 :<< 9<886 Jyp{{hu Nlyyplz jhu hszv hyyhunl ov{ls huk ovspkh hjjvttvkh{pvu pu [whpu4 ~p{o h ~pkl jovpjl vm ov{lsz4 Xhyhkvyz4 jv{{hnlz huk jhtwzp{lz6 Nvy tvyl pumvyth{pvu4 }pzp{ ~~~6iyp{{hu mlyyplz6jvt7ovspkh z4 vy jhss 8@?9 :<< 9<<<6

pre-history. They are so prolific that sometimes it seems that every little village has a burial chamber or tumulus in its midst. They pop up on the gulf islands, too, and are liberally sprinkled along the coastal edge. There’s no charge and you can just duck down inside, taking care to mind your head, and marvel at the memorials, some with carvings on the inner chamber walls. None, however, come close to “the big one” located up an unassuming rural lane just outside our chosen resort destination, the little water’s edge town of Locmariaquer. This comprises the huge Er-Grah tumulus, another structure known as the Table des Marchand and then, on the same site, is what is dubbed “The Broken Menhir of Er Grah”. Forget Stonehenge, this massive block of stone is said to be the largest to have ever been transported and erected by Neolithic man. Now, OK, I confess there is a charge here but a modest one, given that you get a film show, which explains in layman’s terms all about the site adjacent. It’s five euros for adults, all under-18s are free, though, and if you are under 25 and live in the EU it’s also free admission. This is mightily impressive and dignified

as prehistory places go, but personally I have a liking for the ones which pop up as you meander along the coastal paths next to the beaches. They certainly knew where to build them. Location, location, location is what it was all about. The beaches here are lovely, too, on the edge of Locmariaquer itself you can park up easily (and freely) and enjoy a vast curving expanse of sandy beach. There are lots of little coves, too. The coastal path is a good one and runs for miles to other communities. Locmariaquer has other attributes, countless dozens of them, in fact. Of course, I’m talking oysters and traces of this maritime industry are all around in the clear waters which lap the bay. There really is nothing finer, if you enjoy these molluscs, than eating them al fresco just an empty shell’s throw from the place from where they have been harvested by the local producer, complete with bread, accompaniments and a glass of nicely chilled Muscadet. Our accommodation was selected on the internet through homeaway.co.uk and was a lovely old fisherman’s cottage, with a tiny front garden. At the end of the gate was the coastal path. Ahead of that stretched the Gulf of Morbihan. We were less than a few paces away from it. In fact, a friend who visited used to just run out of the gate (avoiding any passing walkers) and jump straight in at high tide as we had the privilege of being there in a phenomenal heatwave. This special little abode was picture postcard and regarded with great affection by the family who owned it, a number of whom lived in the town, too. These relatives ensured we were settled in, comfortably. Inside it was, like many French holiday homes, an unassuming place, but contained everything you needed. Outside, its photogenic appearance meant it was constantly being photographed by other visitors passing by along the footpath which nudged the water’s edge at the end of the garden. Our week here was a really lazy one in the main, tempered by the arrival of the exceptional weather. Highlight of the day was, as it is in France, just ambling along the quay to the cafes and restaurants less than 150 yards away. Having said that, we did stir ourselves to catch a boat trip around the myriad islands of the gulf. And as the day drew to a close we sat in our tiny garden and watched some spectacular sunsets – with a little glass of something in our hands, of course. Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

ADVERTISING FEATURE

Cycle Route: your path to the best bikes, equipment and advice

ristol is a cycle-friendly city with one of the largest two-wheeled commuter populations in the country. Alongside this, Bristol has an excellent network of leisure and social riding designated cycle routes backed up by some great off-road riding locations. Cycle Route in Downend is a new shop that has been opened to meet the needs of this growing cycling community. Though it’s a new and independent business, Cycle Route has taken over the premises of a former bike store in Downend and opened afresh just before Christmas last year. The shop is managed by Lewis Hillyard, who, like all the staff, lives locally and is a cycling enthusiast. His team know the area, the cycling scene, and their products, very well. The staff are friendly and provide a professional service, with informed advice, whether you visit the shop, or call on the telephone. Lewis is very excited about the new store and wants it to become a hub for the local cycling community. He says: “With more than 25 years experience between us of the bicycle industry in the UK and

worldwide, we are knowledgeable and versatile in our approach, and aim to provide a top quality service. All our staff ride daily, so we really have our finger on the pulse of the local cycling scene. “Customers can only benefit from our knowledgeable and expert advice, while our fully equipped workshop and qualified mechanics will service and maintain bikes, while giving advice about ongoing maintenance. “The spacious new store caters for the needs of the whole cycling community, stocking the best bikes and products from leading brands, including Whyte, Focus, Roux, Willier, Ridgeback, GT, GoCycle, Charge, Bickerton, Montague, Pashley and Land Rover. “With the choice of more than 30 major bike brands to choose from, we have selected products that we feel offer ISO-accredited build quality, state-of-the-art technology and – very importantly – outstanding value. “It doesn’t matter whether your requirement is a hub-geared, belt-driven low-maintenance commuting bike, like the Roux G8, a £2,500 full carbon ICU-approved road bike, like the Focus Izalco Team SL 4.0 (as used by the AG2R La Mondiale team), a full suspension mountain bike, like

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

the Whyte T129S (trail bike of the year), an electrically-assisted bike, such as the GOCycle, a child’s first bike, a folding bike, a touring bike, or a no-frills, £250, do-it-all bike – we have stock that will fit the bill. “We also strive to stock a wide selection of genuinely useful cycling equipment and have a comprehensive clothing section featuring gents and ladies wear for all seasons, and a changing room for trying on. “In short, we look at our customers as part of the family – we want to be able to supply each person with bicycles and accessories which offer reliability, comfort, style, value for money and above all, are appropriate for each individual’s needs.” Finally, Cycle Route Downend is a Cycle To Work Scheme

accredited partner, so if you are thinking of purchasing a bike on the Government-backed scheme, which is aimed at cycling commuters, pop in for advice on how the scheme works, from a quote and payment plan, right through to supply and aftercare.

FACT FILE IkkylzzB ]up{ >4 \ol _pssv~z [ovwwpun Klu{yl4 Lv~uluk4 Jypz{vs4 J[9> =]R \lsB 899? A=? 8<=8 Wwlupun {ptlzB Uvukh {v [h{|ykh 4 Aht {v =6;8wt MthpsB j jslyv|{lkv~uluk Hv|{svvr6jvt _liB ~~~6j jslyv|{l5|r6jvtC Nhjlivvr6jvt7 j jslyv|{lkv~uluk

Disney magic lights up family-friendly cruises _vysk {yh}ls �� ’� ��

s someone whose childhood did not involve a lot of Disney, those Mickey ears are a constant source of amazement. It starts on the coach ride to the port of Barcelona, when a collective shriek goes up as soon as they appear in sight. Disney certainly knows a thing or two about what children like, and the big black ears take pride of place on the top deck of the Disney Magic, the elegant art deco-style ship on which we are to spend a week cruising the Mediterranean. The Magic, the first Disney ship to launch in 1998, has recently undergone a major refit. The prospect of being invited on board, to see what Disney Cruising is all about, made the heads of my four-year-old and two-year-old spin. Both children have slightly maniacal grins on their faces, while I’m giving thanks for the Perspex-lined railings making it

near impossible for even the most agile toddler to disembark ahead of schedule. Most of the restaurants have had a makeover, and it is the ship’s food that is the real revelation. While Disney may not have always made this a priority at their parks, dining on board is a real pleasure. I dined on sea bass, lamb cutlets, tiger prawns and, on the final night, baked lobster tails. But that’s not what we’re here for, obviously. Our days promptly become a whirl of kids’ clubs, half-day excursions to Nice and Pompeii, swimming, eating and meet-and-greets with Disney characters. It’s worth noting that every single staff member was extraordinarily happy to chat to children. It must be an exhausting job, but the legendary Disney service apparently extends to their youngest guests, and the confidence it gave my children to wholeheartedly greet the staff and hold a conversation with them was lovely to see.

The kids’ clubs, divided into age groups with staff on hand to facilitate activities, are a focus of the refurbishment, with Marvel’s Avengers Academy providing an area where children can “unleash their inner superheroes”. Next door is Pixie Hollow, home to Tinker Bell and her friends, where children can immerse themselves in art and craft activities. While the children are honing their new talents, a refurbished spa offers adults everything from teeth whitening to barbershop services, while the Chill Spa provides treatments for teens aged 13 to 17. Despite the full days followed by dinner, and on one occasion a spot of rock’n’roll dancing with 50 or so other toddlers who crashed the dancefloor en route to their cabins, the absolute highlight for my children was the evening show. The performance on the final night, the West End-standard Disney Dreams, featured Tinker Bell lighting up the theatre with

fireworks and some cracking song and dance routines. After bubbles and snowflakes rained down from the ceiling, a screen showed Tinker Bell spreading a little pixie dust over the bow of the ship as thousands of fairy lights lit up the theatre. As my daughter breathlessly said on her return home: “Tinker Bell was there and she lit up the whole ship. She magicked the whole ship.”

Nhj{mpsl vzpl Kshyrl ~hz h n|lz{ vm ^pynpu Pvspkh z Ky|pzlz 0~~~6}pynpuovspkh z jy|pzlz6jv6|rC 8@<< =?; <;A@1 ~opjo vmmlyz h zl}lu5upno{ Lpzul Uhnpj Ulk Ky|pzl myvt ôA<A wly hk|s{ huk ô>AA wly jopsk6 Llwhy{z myvt Jhyjlsvuh4 jhsspun h{ ^psslmyhujol 0mvy Vpjl4 Nyhujl14 Xpzh4 Zvtl huk Vhwslz4 pujs|kpun mspno{z myvt Tvukvu Oh{~pjr huk {yhuzmlyz6 Xypjlz hyl ihzlk vu {~v hk|s{z huk {~v jopskylu {yh}lsspun huk zohypun hu puzpkl jhipu vu h m|ss5ivhyk ihzpz6 Jhzlk vu h klwhy{|yl vu I|n|z{ ;84 :89<6

��

MUSIC

OQO WN \PM _MMS Sh{oy u _pssphtz \ol Thu{lyu4 Kvsz{vu Phss4 Uhyjo :96 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

Album sees Kathryn ‘at peace’ and happy with her lot

amed after the power company that employed the young Elvis Presley as a delivery truck driver until he got the call to record his first session at Sun Studios, Crown Electric is also the title of the tenth album from Liverpool-born, Newcastle-based singersongwriter Kathryn Williams. “As soon as I said it, the words in my mouth felt lovely,” she says. “It felt exciting and fresh, but it also had the sound of a classic album. It has a strength to it. It’s steadfast. “I feel strangely giddy about this record,” she says. “I feel like I’ve hit a point in my writing where I don’t feel apologetic.” She mentions the opening line from Tequila: “‘Be brave enough to be yourself’. That’s what I’m trying to do with this record,” she says. “To feel all the doubts and do it anyway. It’s about

coming to terms with where you are and what matters and being happy with your lot. Being able to look back and know that you can be proud of what you’ve done. I think I’m just at peace.” When Williams released her 1999 debut Dog Leap Stairs, which she recorded for just £80, she told one interviewer that she wanted to have a career that lasted long enough for her to develop her craft and move through different phases. Fourteen years later, she’s certainly achieved that. Little Black Numbers (2000) earned a well-deserved Mercury Prize nomination and led to two albums for EastWest: Old Low Light (2002) and the wonderful covers album Relations (2004). After three albums on her own Caw label, she moved to One Little Indian with The Quickening (2010). After that, she enjoyed what she calls a “busman’s holiday”. A conversation with a musician

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

friend, Anna Spencer, about the dreadful quality of songs for children led the pair to form The Crayonettes and release the charmingly surreal Playing Out: Songs for Children and Robots. She then formed experimental folk trio The Pond with Simon Edwards and Ginny Clee, whose eponymous debut was produced by Portishead’s Adrian Utley. Kathryn has hit a prolific streak. With the help of producer Neill MacColl, who previously worked with Kathryn on Two and The Quickening, Crown Electric was narrowed down from a pool of 60 songs. There’s one she’s had on the back burner for years and another that she wrote in an hour. Some grew out of solitude, others crackled into life during two collaborative songwriting retreats organised by Chris Difford of Squeeze. What unites them is confidence, precision, grace and an eye for the small details that illuminate large ideas. “It’s about having a

complex idea and then working out how to explain that simply,” she says. Themes of work and time recur throughout the record. “When you become a mum your time becomes constrained just at the point when you feel most creative and have a massive drive to work,” she explains. “This record is all about how time matters. It’s the most precious thing we have. “Songwriting is an addiction in a way,” she says. “When I sit down and write a song it just makes sense. A lot of singer-songwriters use thousands of words and it’s all vanity. It doesn’t have the ring of truth. I don’t want to use clever words, I just want the listener to get an image. I want it to have physical impact. When I get a lovely image I get a warm feeling inside. That’s the magic. Where did that come from? How brilliant is that?” David Marks

Metronomy deliver a masterpiece with Love Letters ��’� �� W: Ijhklt 4 Uhyjo :<4 zll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

ince they burst onto the scene in the mid-Noughties, Devonian electro-popsters Metronomy have risen through the ranks to become one of Britain’s biggest bands, thanks to singles like Heartbreaker, The Look and Everything Goes My Way. Earlier this month, Metronomy released Love Letters, their fourth album and the first since The English Riviera, their Mercurynominated album of 2011, which went on to rack up 250,000 sales worldwide. Love Letters features the singles I’m Aquarius and the title track, which was recently named Zane Lowe’s “hottest record in the world”. Recorded at London’s Toe Rag studios – an analogue studio best known for rock ’n’ roll acts like White Stripes, who recorded Elephant there – Love Letters is already being hailed as the band’s masterpiece, thanks to the strength of charismatic frontman Joe Mount’s songs, the sweeping choruses and a sound that encompasses synth-pop, Motown, funk and psychedelia. Love Letters has a title that speaks volumes about sensations and modes of

communication, about things that have always been there and will always be here, and the band wanted to produce a record that is timeless. In its execution, Love Letters tries to do fresh things in an old-fashioned way. It takes richer methods of recording and injects them with the shock of the new – of tight electronics, and experiments in sound. Mindful of the back-to-basics sound of Toe Rag studios, Mount and the band took with them their passion for Sixties bands like The Zombies and Love, but also their enthusiasm for the Seventies funk of Sly and the Family Stone. Mount is already well known for writing great songs, crafting his lyrics with care, and pushing pop melodies into fabulous shapes. Synthesisers and computers have been his primary tools in the past, but at Toe Rag he felt he could push them to higher places. It helps, of course, that Metronomy have had an incredible few years. The English Riviera, in 2011, took a West Coast sunshine spirit to Britain’s South West and gained many plaudits, including a Mercury nomination. They also sold out

the Royal Albert Hall and toured Europe and North America extensively. Mount never wanted to rest on his laurels as a writer, either. Instead, he wanted a new challenge, and to learn discipline. It helped that something was coming along to focus him naturally – the birth of his first child. For him, the pram in the hall wasn’t the enemy of art, it was his enabler. As Mount knuckled down to work on Love Letters, the idea of using Toe Rag kicked in. Instead of constructing his music on computers, he would use classic, slower techniques that would force him to take time in the best possible sense. By recording onto tape, he would also be forced to think about his music more purely, construct it with more finesse, and enjoy exploring its possibilities. As a result, Metronomy’s new songs are bold and ambitious, but the sweet spirit they’ve always been known for still lingers within them. Melancholy still lurks in those hooks; loneliness still gleams along their edges. These are songs that carry you up and down in tides of feeling. They also inject modern

situations with timeless sentiments. The Upsetter is about having no reception when you want to send a message to someone special, for instance, and about the memory of listening to music when you were young. Monstrous is about holding on tight to everything you love, in a world you don’t understand. Reservoir is about a place near where Mount’s parents live, where glittering keyboards mimic “heartbeats drifting together”. Month Of Sundays shimmers its emotions through bright, shining guitars. New musical spirits inhabit this album, too. The single I’m Aquarius was inspired by Diana Ross and The Supremes’ 1969 album, Let The Sunshine In, full of psychedelic atmospheres, and gorgeous backing vocal shoop-shoops. Mount nearly left the song behind because he thought it didn’t sound like him, before he realised his style was naturally growing and changing. These songs go places Metronomy never have before, and they do so spectacularly. Love Letters marks the beginning of the next chapter for the band and their return to Bristol is highly anticipated.

NyvtFriday, Nypkh 4March Uhyjo21, :942014 :89< From

Weekend31 31

Friday ��

��

Don’t miss O’Hooley & Tidow

�� ’�� “�� ”�

��

�� ’�� ’� �� ’�� Nvsr Pv|zl4 Uhyjo :94 zll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

�� ’� �� ’��

�� ’� ��

��

�� – �� – �� – �� – ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

�� “�� ” ��

��

Saturday ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� ��

��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

Saturday (continued) ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� – � �� – ��

��

Sunday �� ‘��’ ��

��

Don’t miss Salsa Celtica

��

�� “��” ��

��

�� ’ ��

��

�� ’� ��

��’� ��

��

�� “�� ” ��

��

�� “�� ” �� ’� �� [hszh Kls{pjh �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

�� é ��

��

Monday ��

��

Tuesday ��’� ��

��

Don’t miss Lloyd Cole

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

Wednesday

Tsv k Kvsl \ol Thu{lyu4 Kvsz{vu Phss4 Uhyjo :<4 zll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� “�� ”� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

Thursday ��

��

�� “�� ”� ��

��

�� ’ �� ’� �� ’� ��

��

� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

�� é ��

�� ’� ��

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

�� ’� ��

Clubbing ��

��

� �� ’� ��

�� ’� ��

��

�� °��'

��

Don’t miss Rhyme & Reason

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� Zo tl / Zlhzvu Uv{pvu4 I}vu [{yll{4 Jypz{vs vu [h{ :: Uhy4 A6;8wt5;ht4 ~~~6tv{pvuiypz{vs6jvt6

��

��’� ��

� ��

��

�� ’� ��

�� – �� – �� ‘��’� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

�� ’� �� ’� ��

Classical ��

�� – ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

� �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� ��

��

�� – ��

��

Don’t miss Bristol Bach Choir: Tavener/Rachmaninov

�� – �� ’� �� – �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

�� “��” �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� Jypz{vs Jhjo KovpyB \h}luly7 Zhjothupuv} [h{|ykh 4 Uhyjo ::4 Jypz{vs Kh{olkyhs6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� � ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� � �� ’� �� ’� ��

��

“…�� – �� ”�

��

�� ’� ��

“�� ” � �� ’� ��

�� ’� ��

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

�� – ��

�� ’� ��

�� ’ � ��

,* :"8$ 2 $

:92 .2&( 7:@ <

;* :!8$ ? 7-+/!@ <

:58$ 2 $ 7:-/5@ < = 2 3 ,;2 :@-"

$; :"8$ .2&( 7:@ <

0# .&% *0! &..

.. + #

2& :@8$ ;* 7-5/!@ <

0 ,? ( (,, 0 &2 < 3

2& :!8$ .2&( 7:@ <

!% +

%0$

.+&%&$4

%. +(&# ) $(# ,

#" #!% +!&

$; :48$ 2 $ 7:9 <

.+ % # +,

2& :* ?

& % 0.# + +!&

8 :+8$ 2 $ 7- /!@ <

.! !..# !% +,

8 92 ? 7-+/!@ <

055 & ", 0 *8&% ,=$ 2

;* 9@8$ 2 $ 7-! <

!# ,.,

#; 0 ),2

48$ ? 7:! <

$; 92 .2&( 7-" <

:!8$ ;*

0+ ,,! $; 92 ;(? 7 <

% 4 &+ % 2& "8$ ;(? 7-- <

$4. ,

&(,!%

&0# ( 2 8&*# :! ?23

+8$ ;(? 7- <

, 9 8 &#$ &3&*#

8 !8$ .2&( 7:9/!@ <

+&("! " 0+( 4,

; -98$ ? 7-+/!@ <

8 -+8$ ;(? 7-:/!@ <

&4 &+

$ +

!1 % &% +.

-"8$ ? 7-5/!@ <

;* 58$ .2&( 7:! <

.!&% +&%,&%

&4 1 %0

$; -!8$ ? 7-5/!@ <

; 8$ .2&( 7-" <

. !% %.

+8$ .2&( 7:@ <

8 -48$ ? 7-:/!@ < -@.) % " ) ,< 2 - 3 ,*(?

# ,.&+$

!# +.,

+ +0 . 8 *2 (

8 -:8$ .2&( 7-:/!@ < -@.) % " ) ,< 2 - 3 ,*(?

;* - 8$ ? 7:5/!@ <

& 0%%4$ %

28 ;( , # 2 0 88 ) ),*8 0 ; ' 8 ),2

,* -+8$ ? 7:" <

; -!8$ .2&( 7:@ <

$; ::* ? 7- /!@ <

0 ( ' ; ) 2&*

+ .!&%

&( ! ##!, 3.&+

&0+.% 4 &1

+& ,,&+ + %

8 -+8$ .2&( 7:4/!@ <

!. " ,.!1 #

8 :"8$ ? 7:@ <

2 * = 0 < 3 $ ? 0 ),2

%,# 0 . :@8$ ;#;38 7:! <

!$$4 #! ;* 9-38 ;#;38 7-:/!@ <

&+ + 2& !8$ .8 7-- <

0%,/ &, , . ##! #& 2& :"8$ 8 7-5 <

.4 ; "8$ ,< 7-5/!@ <

,"!% # 3 % +! ; :!8$ ,< 7- /!@ < ,. ;*'13 ,8

&. .& &. ,.!1 #

2 &0% #&+4

0 $ & *&#$8 38 0 ,;28* ? 2* 88 ) *? ),2

0 $ 8,2? , 2 0 * ? 283 0 *(? &< (3

/ $4 +!,.&# +& $&+ .+ . +!,.&# '

*; ,> , ,. *&*# $,;23

,* % 8 -:.) % ".) , ,,,'&*# ,* 3$ 82 *3 8&,*3 8& ' 8= / ,/;' 3 8& ' 83/ ,) #&# *8& / ,) 8& ' 8) 38 2/ ,/;'

,: )? 2&38,(/ ,/;'

2 $ :@-"

+" 4 1 + ! ($,0(& $$ +",0($ &$

! -) 3.333 * 3 33 3.333,* 3 33 111' %( )-(2' %0'/!+"/)

5 - ) 55 1 !+ (0$"& ,

5 5 5 -) )' ((# &$"&

0" # 0% ,0 +* (*2# , 0" # 0,* (% ( ) #- , 2, (( # " # ( ) #- 2 (( # " #1 - , # , - # - #

+ ( " " $* (%

+ %2," .+ + 2,(&%2,"

4 ++ & % &0 3"0!

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

FILM Zl}pl~zB Lhtvu [tp{o

Audiences will be seduced by this passionate drama Zl}pl~ Thivy Lh 09:I4 999 tpuz1

he heat of unexpected passion scorches two lost souls in Jason Reitman’s handsome adaptation of the novel by Joyce Maynard. Embellished with a present-day voiceover that harks back to events of one sweltering summer in 1987, Labor Day woos us with stirring performances, Eric Steelberg’s sun-dappled cinematography and Rolfe Kent’s elegiac orchestral score. Scenes between Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin as the doomed lovers simmer with eroticism, including a glorious set-piece with a homemade peach pie that makes our pulses quicken and mouths water. Fifteen-year-old rising star Gattlin Griffith is equally compelling as the painfully shy teenage son, who witnesses this mending of broken hearts in impossible circumstances. Yet for all of its impressive qualities – and they are bountiful – Labor Day isn’t quite the sum of its parts. The condensed timeframe of the central romance strains credibility and some of the subplots feel undernourished. Reitman’s mosaic of flashbacks and reminiscence creates a fractured chronology that hampers

40 Weekend From Friday, March 21, 2014

dramatic momentum, dissipating the sense of dread and longing that should permeate every impeccably crafted frame. “It was just the two of us after my father left,” explains 13-year-old Henry Wheeler (Griffith). So the youngster nervously takes on the mantle of man of the house, tending to his depressed mother Adele (Winslet). Once a month, they venture out for supplies but for the most part, Adele remains indoors, haunted by ghosts of her failed marriage. During a visit to the local Pricemart with his mother, Henry encounters a bloodied stranger called Frank Chambers (Brolin). Under duress, Adele and her son take Frank into their home and tend to his wounds. That night, a television news report reveals the intimidating man is an escaped prisoner serving 18 years for the murder of his girlfriend (Maika Monroe). “It didn’t happen that way,” growls Frank. The fugitive lays low at the Wheeler homestead and adopts the role of surrogate father, teaching Henry how to pitch a baseball and lavishing Adele with tenderness. “I could feel her loneliness and longing before I had a name for it,” notes Henry as he

becomes a silent observer to the strengthening of bonds between Frank and his mother into a second chance at happiness. Labor Day hinges on the screen chemistry between Winslet and Brolin and we believe in their emotional connection, although the film skirts perilously close to melodrama when Frank tells Adele, “I’d take 20 more years [in jail] just to spend another three days with you.” Griffith is mesmerising in a demanding role and he wrings out tears beautifully and convincingly at a critical juncture. A coda, set in the present day, feels cheap and unnecessary. The heart wants what it wants and according to Reitman, our hearts want to feel warm as we leave the cinema.

Verdict Llzwp{l nylh{ wlymvythujlz huk ilpun ilh|{pm|ss zov{4 Thivy Lh pz sl{ kv~u i tlsvkyhth{pj {v|jolz huk h {ptlmyhtl {oh{ z{yhpuz jylkpipsp{ 6 >798

Cold-blooded prison drama pulls no punches Npst vm {ol ~llr [{hyylk ]w 09@4 98> tpuz1

he sins of a jailbird father are revisited upon an embittered son in David Mackenzie’s gritty drama. Based on screenwriter Jonathan Asser’s experiences as a prison therapist, Starred Up pulls few punches in its depiction of life behind bars, delivering a flurry of beatings as characters jostle for supremacy inside crumbling walls where everyone can hear you scream. Squeamish audiences are sentenced to their worst nightmare: a journey into an unforgiving world where disputes are settled with a slash from a makeshift shank fashioned from a toothbrush and razor blade. Prison officers are almost as cold-blooded as the offenders in their care, meting out violence to keep troublesome inmates in line. If all else fails, ringleaders are strung up from the bars of cells – their deaths falsely attributed to suicide. Belfast’s disused Crumlin Road Gaol provides a suitably claustrophobic setting and Mackenzie’s cameras explore every nook and cranny, capturing a vicious assault in the showers that leaves us wincing in horror.

At the centre of the madness is 19-year-old repeat offender Eric (Jack O’Connell), who swaggers into his first adult prison as if he owns the joint. “Get your kit off – come out when you’re ready,” barks one of the guards, who conducts a humiliating body search. Clothed in a regulation grey tracksuit, Eric is escorted to his cell where he expertly constructs then conceals a shank. An altercation with prison guards leads to a spell in solitary confinement and Eric is ushered before lifer Spencer (Peter Ferdinando), who rules the roost. “No more silliness. I want a nice quiet wing,” Spencer tells Eric with an air of menace. It transpires that Eric’s father Neville (Ben Mendelsohn) is at the same facility and operates as one of Spencer’s underlings. Their reunion after 14 miserable years of estrangement is far from happy. While Eric exorcises ghosts of the past, the lad also attends anger management sessions led by a volunteer called Oliver (Rupert Friend), whose personal involvement with inmates is a source of frustration for sadistic Governor Hayes (Sam Spruell).

Punctuated by explosions of unsettling and graphic violence, Starred Up is reminiscent of Alan Clarke’s seminal 1979 film Scum, which chronicled one young man’s journey through incarceration. Mackenzie’s film is almost as suffocating, anchored by a no-holds-barred performance from O’Connell that’s a far cry from his formative years on ground-breaking Channel 4 teen drama Skins. The 23-year-old Derbyshire actor electrifies every frame, offering glimpses of fear behind Eric’s cocksure facade as he rages against an imperfect system. Friend and Mendelsohn are compelling in support and Asser’s script steadfastly refuses to indulge in sentimentality. For these characters, the milk of human kindness is always sour and they have no choice but to swig and swallow.

Verdict �� ’�� @798

From Friday, March 21, 2014

Weekend 41

NOW SHOWING ARNOLFINI ��

CURZON ��

CINEMA DE LUX ��

ODEON ��

CINEWORLD �� THE CUBE ��

ORPHEUS ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

��

SHOWCASE �� ’� �� VUE ��

��

�� ’ ��

Suicide pact story doesn’t end well Zl}pl~ I Tvun _h Lv~u 09=4 A> tpuz1

�� – �� – �� ’ �� – �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� ��

�� \PM ZIQT_Ia UIV 09=1 �� OZI^Q\a ;L 09:I1 �� \PM TMOW UW^QM ;L 0]1 �� VMML NWZ [XMML ;L 09:I1 �� \PM OZIVL J]LIXM[\ PW\MT 09=1 �� VMML[ NWZ [XMML 09:I1 �� \PM [\IO 09=1 ��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� ��

�� ;88 ZQ[M WN IV MUXQZM 09=1 �� ;88 ZQ[M WN IV MUXQZM ;L 09=1 �� M[KIXM NZWU XTIVM\ MIZ\P 0]1 �� \PM JWWS \PQMN 09:I1 �� ZQLM ITWVO 09:I1 �� VWV [\WX 09:I1 ��

�� \PM TMOW UW^QM 0]1 �� \QVSMZJMTT IVL \PM XQZI\M NIQZa 0]1 �� UZ XMIJWLa IVL [PMZUIV 0]1 �� 9: aMIZ[ I [TI^M 09=1 �� NZWbMV 0XO1 �� [MVQWZ[B \PM ZIQT_Ia UIV 09=1 �� SQL[B UW[PQ UWV[\MZ[ 0]1 ��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� � ��

Verdict ]usprl {ol ivvr4 {ol johyhj{lyz ihyls johunl v}ly {ol jv|yzl vm {ol mpst huk {ol |s{yh5ulh{ lukpun zlltz {v thrl {yp{l vm {ol pzz|l vm z|pjpkl6 =798

SQL[B XMZKa RIKS[WV [MI WN UWV[\MZ[ ;L 0XO1 �� WATERSHED ��’� �� \PM OZIVL J]LIXM[\ PW\MT 09=1 �� ]VLMZ \PM [SQV 09=1 �� [IT^W 09:I1 �� RWKMTaV XWWSB \PM OZMI\

JMI]\a 09=1 �� KQVMJIJQM[B [IT^W 09:I1 �� [KW\\ IVLMZ[WV 5 TI_ZMVKM QV IZIJQI �� WOTTON ELECTRIC PICTURE HOUSE �� \PM UWV]UMV\[ UMV 09:I1 �� \QVSMZJMTT IVL \PM XQZI\M NIQZa :L 0]1 �� \PM QV^Q[QJTM _WUIV 09:I1 ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

THEATRE \olh{yl i Vh{hspl Jhu hyk

Stoppard’s masterpiece fizzes with wit and emotion XQKS WN \PM _MMS Iyjhkph \o|yzkh 4 Uhyjo :? {v [h{|ykh 4 Uh ;4 \vihjjv Nhj{vy \olh{ylz6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

hakespeare at the Tobacco Factory’s (SATTF) production of As You Like It is garnering rave reviews for its clarity, humour and passion. Now the company embarks on the second half of its double bill with Tom Stoppard’s contemporary classic, Arcadia. Currently celebrating its 15th anniversary, SATTF has built an incredible reputation for its unique and enriching productions, attracting audiences from throughout the UK and beyond. Thanks to year upon year of astounding interpretations of The Bard’s timeless works, SATTF’s annual pair of productions are Bristol’s hot tickets and crowds flock to Southville for an unique in the round theatrical experience. In recent years, the company has successfully experimented with stagings of other playwrights’ work, including Middleton & Rowley’s The Changeling and two classics by Anton Checkhov. For their anniversary year, SATTF has chosen to perform Arcadia by Sir Tom Stoppard, the former Bristol-based journalist who has strong ties with the city and its theatre community. Skilfully interweaving events at a fictional country house in the early 19th century and the present day, Arcadia caused a sensation when it was first performed at The National in 1993. In 1809, desire, passion, and literary rivalry seize the inhabitants of Sidley Park as it is reconstructed in the newly popular “picturesque” style. Meanwhile, precocious teenager Thomasina Coverly is making a scientific discovery that will change the way people understand the world. In the present day, another scholarly row builds as academics Bernard and Hannah unpick the illicit secrets of the

Ultilyz vm {ol jhz{ pu ylolhyzhsz mvy Iyjhkph6 Xpj{|ylz i Oyhoht J|yrl estate, all under the derisive eye of the current occupant, a young mathematician. Crossing the centuries, this rich recipe for mystery, sex, mayhem and tragedy has been acclaimed as Stoppard’s finest work by critics and theatregoers alike. SATTF’s artistic director Andrew Hilton said: “Arcadia by Tom Stoppard caused something of a sensation when it was premiered at the National because it has all the fizzing wit and range of reference that you expect from Stoppard, but also a powerful emotional charge.” A giant in British contemporary film and theatre writing, Sir Tom left school at 17 and soon found work as a journalist at The Western Daily

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

Press in Bristol. He remained there until 1958, when he was offered a position as a feature writer, columnist and drama critic on the Bristol Evening World, later the Bristol Evening Post. It was thanks to this job that he became friendly with director John Boorman and the young Peter O’Toole, whose performances at Bristol Old Vic were already beginning to set him apart as a ferocious and mould-breaking acting talent. Indeed, it was Stoppard’s relationship with Boorman and O’Toole that convinced him to try his hand at writing. And the rest, as they say, is history. In addition to Arcadia, Stoppard’s best known work for the theatre include Rosencrantz

and Guildenstern Are Dead (1996) and The Real Inspector Hound (1969). In the world of film, he co-wrote Brazil with Terry Gilliam and Charles McKeown, and penned Shakespeare in Love, for which he won an Oscar. He also adapted novels The Russia House and Anna Karenina for the big screen. Mr Hilton said: “SATTF is proud to present Arcadia as its first production of a play from our contemporary theatre. “Stoppard has a long association with Bristol – he worked as a journalist here before he turned playwright. So we feel we’re bringing him home, and we very much hope to see him here at some point during the season.”

The Bathroom Destination Store for the West of England

scan the image to see more

4000 sq feet of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;real lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; bathroom displays OfďŹ cial supplier of the major bathroom brands Design, supply and installation service available

LISTINGS ��

�� ’� ��

�� – ��

��

� ��

��

�� ’� �� … �� ’�� ’� ��

��

��’� �� ’� �� – �� – �� ’� ��

� ��

�� ’�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� ’� �� – �� ’� �� – ��

��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

��’� ��

Don’t miss Gloriator

� �� – �� ’�� … �� Osvyph{vy \|lzkh 4 Uhyjo := {v \o|yzkh 4 Uhyjo :?4 Jypz{vs Wsk ^pj [{|kpv4 Spun [{yll{6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� � ��

��

\olh{yl spz{punz jvu{pu|l v}ly {ol whnl666

! + " " " "" !% ) ( # *

!% ) * # !% )

%* '' '&

Theatre listings continued... ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

� �� ’� ��

Don’t miss Current Location

�� “�� ”� �� “�� ”� �� ’� �� K|yylu{ Tvjh{pvu Uvukh 4 Uhyjo :< {v Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :@4 \ol _hykyvil \olh{yl hiv}l \ol _op{l Jlhy4 Jypz{vs6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

��

�� ’� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� � ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� “�� ” �� “�� ”� ��

��

Don’t miss Hopelessly Devoted

�� ’� �� ’� �� ’� ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

��

�� ’�� Pvwlslzzs Ll}v{lk \|lzkh 4 Uhyjo := {v [h{|ykh 4 Iwyps = h{ \vihjjv Nhj{vy \olh{ylz6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

ART Iy{ huk jvtlk ��

Antlers takes over former harbour gas works XQKS WN \PM _MMS Oyh}p{hz ��

ristol’s Antlers Gallery has been two things in its three-and-a-half year lifespan to date: captivating and peripatetic. Antlers has staged its remarkable, intriguing run of contemporary art exhibitions at a variety of temporary homes around Bristol, ranging from an empty shop unit at the bottom of Park Street to the elegantly tiled Victorian former public loos at the foot of Woodland Road. At these inviting temporary homes, visitors have been treated to a smorgasbord of adventurous, elegant and thought-provoking modern art by some of the finest artists working in Bristol and beyond. This month, Antlers marks the start of a new six-month tenure at Purifier House, an old gas purifying station overlooking the harbour in Hotwells. Until August, the gallery will curate a programme of exhibitions and events at this atmospheric site: and the first is an exhibition by two high-profile Bristol artists, both interested in the continual and complex relationships between human and animal. Responding to Antlers’ impressive new home (and in keeping with an interest in the natural world that has run through Antlers’ programming thus far), Abigail Reed and Dorcas Casey convey the power and weight of the animal form in relation to human scale via, respectively, large monochrome oil on canvas paintings and life-sized fabric sculptures. “Abigail’s paintings feature animals bursting out of the canvases, while Dorcas’ sculptures are awkwardly juxtaposed with seemingly fragile furniture,” enthuses Antlers’ Gallery manager Juliet Burke. “In both cases the animal subjects have a sense of stature – but their relationship to human objects also evokes an air of vulnerability.”

� �� ’� ��

��

Over the next few months Antlers will be programming various events at the site, which is owned by Linden Homes and will be transformed into luxury apartments after the gallery’s tenure. “Linden Homes first approached us about using Purifier House,” Juliet reveals. “They had been to a number of our shows in and around Bristol and liked what we were doing – both in terms of animating and bringing energy to unused spaces, and supporting the thriving Bristol art scene through the sale of artworks.” Juliet’s very happy with the gallery’s new home. “It’s a fantastic site, and not only because of its idyllic spot overlooking the water. The space itself is perfect for an art gallery, with high ceilings and big windows letting in wonderful natural light. The building itself was part of the former gasworks, so there is some fascinating history here too. We’re very happy to be part of the building’s transformation into its new role.” Further ahead, Antlers’ second show at Purifier House will bring together three emerging artists all at exciting points in their career. For Exploration (25 Apr-7 June), Karin Krommes, Geoff Diego Litherland and Jemma Appleby will examine the links between our idealised views of landscape and the technology that we have imposed upon it, from Modernist architecture to the Higgs Boson Collider. Antlers will complete its Hotwells residency, meanwhile, with the display of an extraordinary, five-metre-long concertina book by the popular Bristol artist Tim Lane. Anima Mundi explores myth in its widest sense, bringing together icons and motifs from different world mythologies to create an enigmatic, open-ended narrative. Alongside these three exhibitions, Juliet and the team will also use their new home to programme other events such as dinners, film screenings, artist talks and private events. “This area of Hotwells has such a great setting, and we want to bring this place alive throughout the summer. Antlers is a friendly and approachable art gallery where you can see and buy great work by emerging artists.”

LISTINGS ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� “��”� �� ’� ��

�� ’� ��

��

Don’t miss Renewal

�� ’ �� ’ �� “� �� ”� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� �� ’� �� “�� ” �� Zlul~hs [h{|ykh 4 Uhyjo :: {v [h{|ykh 4 Iwyps 9:4 O|psk Ohssly 4 Jypz{vs6 [ll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

��

�� “� ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

Iy{ spz{punz jvu{pu|l v}ly {ol whnl666

LISTINGS �� ” ��

��

�� – ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

��’� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� – �� – ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

Don’t miss Talk: Henri Matisse: the Cutouts

� �� ’� �� ’ �� ’� �� “�� ” \hsrB Pluyp Uh{pzzlB {ol K|{v|{z Uvukh 4 Uhyjo :<4 Jypz{vs U|zl|t / Iy{ Ohssly 6 [ll spz{punz6

Don’t miss Trappings for the Solitary Man

�� ’� �� “�� ” �� “� �� ” \yhwwpunz mvy {ol [vsp{hy Uhu {v \o|yzkh 4 Uhyjo :?4 Klu{ylzwhjl4 Jypz{vs6 [ll spz{punz6

��

�� “��” – �� ’ �� ’� �� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

Enjoy your home, enhance your lifestyle

A comfortable lounge area

One room, many uses A conservatory can offer you the space to relax, entertain or provide the additional room that a young family needs to grow. Designed to fit in with your lifestyle a conservatory can provide the additional space you are looking for - without the turmoil and expense of moving house.

A refined dining room

Your local manufacturer and installer being the only company in the whole of the South West to hold four BRITISH KITEMARKS AND SECURED BY DESIGN. Ourr ac Ou accr cred cr edit ed itat it atio at ions io ns ar aree yo your ur guar gu aran ar ante an teee of th te thee qu qual ality al ty an and th the stan st anda an dard da rdss we ac rd achi hiev hi evee fr ev from om co conc ncep nc ept ep to co comp mple mp leti le tion ti on

A space for the whole family to enjoy

A light and airy garden room

SHOWROOM Unit 6, Bridge Rd Ind Est, Bridge Rd, Kingswood, BS15 4TA TEL 0117 9061180 / 01225 738606 | FREEPHONE 0800 0133122 HOURS Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm. Sat 9am - 1pm | VISIT US ONLINE www.crwindows.co.uk

COMEDY Don’t miss The Best in UK Stand Up with Ian Stone and Co

The big, friendly giant XQKS WN \PM _MMS Rptlvpu [h{|ykh 4 Uhyjo ::4 Kvsz{vu Phss4 Kvsz{vu [{4 Jypz{vs4 ?6;8wt4 ô9@6@9 pujs ivvrpun mll6 8@<< @@? 9=887~~~6jvsz{vuohss6vyn6

�� ’� �� “� �� ”� �� – �� ’� ��

�� ’� �� ’� �� – �� ’� �� ’� � �� ’� �� – �� “�� ” �� ’� ��

�� RWVOTM]Z[ KWUMLa KT]J

\ol K|ihu4 ]up{ :4 J|pskpun 994 Khuvuz _h 4 Phyiv|yzpkl4 Jypz{vs4 Awt7kvvyz ?wt7shz{ lu{y @wt4 ô9:7ô9A6=8 ~p{o thpu tlhs7ô:: thpu tlhs / klzzly{6 8@?88 999 A>87 ~~~6qvunsl|yz6jvt

�� –

�� ’� ��

��

RWVOTM]Z[ KWUMLa KT]J

\ol K|ihu4 ]up{ :4 J|pskpun 994 Khuvuz _h 4 Phyiv|yzpkl4 Jypz{vs4 Awt7kvvyz ?wt7shz{ lu{y @wt4 ô9=7ô::6=8 ~p{o thpu tlhs7ô:= thpu tlhs / klzzly{6 8@?88 999 A>87 ~~~6qvunsl|yz6jvt

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

\ol Jlz{ pu ]S [{huk ]w ~p{o Qhu [{vul huk Kv [h{|ykh 4 Uhyjo ::4 \ol Thu{lyu4 Kvsz{vu Phss4 Jypz{vs4 @6;8wt4 ô9;6A@ pujs ivvrpun mll6 8@<< @@? 9=887 ~~~6jvsz{vuohss6vyn6

Don’t miss Matt Richardson: Hometown Hero

�� – ��

��

I UIV _ITS[ QV\W I JIZ

\ol Th Lvn w|i4 99: Izosl Lv~u Zk4 Jypz{vs4 ?6;8wt4 ô:6 899? A:< <@8A7 ~~~6iypz{vsw|ujospul6jvt

��

�� ’� �� – �� Uh{{ ZpjohykzvuB Pvtl{v~u Plyv \o|yzkh 4 Uhyjo :?4 Kvtlk Jv h{ {ol Plu / Kopjrlu4 Vvy{o [{4 [v|{o}pssl4 Jypz{vs4 @6;8wt7kvvyz ?6<=wt4 ô986 899? A8: 8;<<7 ~~~6{oljvtlk iv 6jv6|r6

COMING SOON

Ol{ v|y {pjrl{z x|pjr mvy {olzl ov{ zov~z

Blood Brothers

Ll Th [v|s _lkulzkh 4 Uh ?4 Jypz{vs W: Ijhklt

The return of De La Soul

� �� ’� ��

�� ’� �� ’��

�� – �� – �� ’��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� “��’� ��”� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� ’� ��

��

�� – ��

�� – �� ’� �� ’� �� Jsvvk Jyv{olyz pz h{ \ol Jypz{vs Ppwwvkyvtl myvt Uvukh 4 Iwyps 9< {v [h{|ykh 4 Iwyps 9A6 \pjrl{z jvz{ ô98 {v ô<96<86 8@<< @?9 ;89:7 ~~~6iypz{vsopwwvkyvtl6vyn6|r

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

BOOKS

Polar Nights

Wul vm {ol pss|z{yh{pvuz i Tv|pzl Jv|s{ly

Inspired by the fragile workings of our minds

ristol-based Judy Darley will release her debut short story collection Remember Me To The Bees on March 31. Though she’s been writing fiction “for a long time”, Judy has only recently dared to send her stories out into the world, but, in 2011, Never Seen The Sea made it into an anthology from micro-press Scopophilia. Later that year, she was asked to produce a collection of short stories and Remember Me To The Bees is the result. Explain how her work has evolved, Judy says: “When I started looking through stories I’d already written, I began to realise that I have a preoccupation with the things that set us apart, in good ways and bad, and the ways we deal with traumatic or troubling events. “Nature plays a role in much of my fiction, with bees often featuring, so I decided to make

that a common thread. “The result is that every story in the collection features a bee or something bee-related, often just in the background where you might barely notice them. It’s my way of saying, we’re all different, and perhaps in that way we’re all the same. “I wanted to make the collection a bit of a puzzle; each story stands independently, but adds up to a cohesive whole, exploring my characters’ thought processes and

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

vulnerabilities.” Inspired by “travel, family and the fragile inner workings of our minds”, characters include a small boy grappling with fears both real and imaginary and a married woman who is ardently pursued by a man who seems able to read her deepest thoughts. Each of the 20 stories is accompanied by bespoke artwork from illustrator Louise Boulter, who also designed the book’s cover image.

Zltltily Ul \v \ol Jllz i R|k Lhysl 4 w|ispzolk i [jvwvwopsph wypjlk ô>6AA6

vshy Vpno{z �� [|ukh \ptlz�

Unlucky 13

�� ’� �� ]us|jr 9;� �� ’� �� ’� ��

+ ,1%!*, + ,1 4+# 14+ 1%+

!!6 7 1+ 1 " #,1 + + ,1%! 2 ! 8&&- $.. $3 2 # % ' + 4+# , +,( %(4 666(' + 4+# , +,( %(4 ' # %# 4 , 1 $(28 " (28'" 4+, + 4#1 ! '" 4# 7 !%,

+ 4+# , +, + ! + # , %#1 #4 1 ", !%%+ "% !, # # % ! # '+% 4 1, 1% " 6 7 %+ # 6 + # ,( 5 +7 1 " , # + 4 # '+ 1% ! +( 1 " #, 7%4 1 1 , " + 4+# , +, )4 ! 17 1 # 4#+ ' 1 ! '+ ( 14+ , %+ !!4,1+ 1 %# '4+'%, , %#!7 !%%+ "% ! , ! 1 +/ + ,'! 1(

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

PROPERTY

PLOT WITH POTENTIAL Property of the week The Nest, Whitchurch

uilt in 2007, this house is bright and modern, with pale walls, oak floors or beige carpets, sleek white sanitary ware and half an acre of rear garden ripe for development. There’s also a large loft space, which could be converted to two more bedrooms. A wooden floor has already been laid in here, and lighting and electric sockets installed too. The house is within the Chew Valley School catchment area and is offered for sale with no onward chain. There’s double glazing and heating is via an oil-fired boiler and period-style radiators. Off the hall, with its oak staircase, is a cloakroom and toilet with ceramic flooring. There are two reception rooms, each with oak flooring, and one is open via a square arch to the kitchen/breakfast room. This is bright space thanks to both a window and patio doors opening to the garden. Pale, Shaker-style units area complemented by oak work surfaces. There is space for a gas range cooker, and already

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

fitted is a fridge, freezer and dishwasher. Space for a washing machine is in the utility room. All the bedrooms are upstairs, the master with a walk-in dressing room, fitted with rails, spotlights and touch lighting, plus an alcove perfect for a dressing table. There’s also an en suite bath/shower room that’s wired for surround sound linked to the lounge. The three remaining bedrooms share another smart bath/shower room. A paved driveway at the front of the house sits alongside a lawn, but most of the plot is to the rear, with a patio, a long lawn and side path leading to a gravelled area with wooden storage buildings and a bar. Drawings have been made for outbuildings similar to what has been developed next door and which might make an office or gym.

�� £��

# '

! ! % & $ & & & "

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

6$/( 12: 21 6$/( 1 2: 21 &DVVLD %L IROG :KLWH

ZDV

QRZ %HWWD ZD\V WR 3D\

'HSRVLW RQ DOO EHGURRPV

PRQWKO\ UHSD\PHQWV RI

6$9(

SHU PRQWK 5HSUHVHQWDWLYH $35 /RDQ DPRXQW 7RWDO DPRXQW SD\DEOH EDVHG RQ JXLGH OD\RXW RQ ERWWRP RI SDJH H[FOXGHV ÀWWLQJ DQG VXUYH\

SOXV DQ H[WUD

RQ WKH GHVLJQHU FROOHFWLRQ ,GHDO VW\OH IRU HYHU\ KRPH IRU OHVV %ULQJLQJ \RX WKH YHU\ EHVW LQ LQWHULRU GHVLJQ VW\OH %HWWD /LYLQJ KDYH WKH SHUIHFW ORRN IRU HYHU\ KRPH $QG WR FHOHEUDWH WKLV \HDU·V ,GHDO +RPH VKRZ ZH·UH RIIHULQJ DQ H[WUD GLVFRXQW RQ WKH LGHDO FROOHFWLRQ WKURXJKRXW WKH HYHQW &DQ·W PDNH WKH HYHQW" 'RQW·W ZRUU\ \RX FDQ VWLOO WDNH DGYDQWDJH RI WKLV JUHDW RIIHU

7R ERRN \RXU IUHH KRPH GHVLJQ DSSRLQWPHQW YLVLW EHWWDOLYLQJ FR XN

$UUDQJH \RXU )5(( KRPH GHVLJQ YLVLW FDOO 5HSUHVHQWDWLYH $35 60

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

3OHDVH WDNH D PRPHQW WR UHDG RXU WHUPV DQG FRQGLWLRQV ([WUD XS WR UHODWHV WR 'HVLJQHU &ROOHFWLRQ %HGURRPV PLQ VSHQG RI DSSOLHV *XLGH /D\RXW [ PP VLQJOH ZDUGUREHV [ PP EHGVLGH FXSERDUGV [ PP VLQJOH FXSERDUGV [ PP NQHHKROH SHOPHW 8S WR RI IUHH EDWKURRP WLOHV VXEMHFW WR PLQLPXP VSHQG RI 6SHQG XQGHU UHFHLYH VSHQG RYHU UHFHLYH $OO GLVFRXQWV SULFHV DSSO\ WR IXUQLWXUH RQO\ H[FOXGHV DSSOLDQFHV DFFHVVRULHV DQG ÀWWLQJ $XWKRULVHG DQG UHJXODWHG E\ WKH )LQDQFLDO &RQGXFW $XWKRULW\ 7KDQN \RX

6$9(

21 7+( '(6,*1(5 &2//(&7,21

6$/( 1 2: 21

3DVDGHQD &UHDP

ZDV

QRZ %HWWD ZD\V WR 3D\

'HSRVLW RQ DOO EHGURRPV

PRQWKO\ UHSD\PHQWV RI

SHU PRQWK

6$9(

5HSUHVHQWDWLYH $35 /RDQ DPRXQW 7RWDO DPRXQW SD\DEOH EDVHG RQ JXLGH OD\RXW RQ ERWWRP RI SDJH H[FOXGHV ÀWWLQJ DQG VXUYH\

SOXV DQ H[WUD

XS WR

RQ WKH GHVLJQHU FROOHFWLRQ

IUHH 1()) DSSOLDQFHV

ZLWK DOO VDOH NLWFKHQV VXEMHFW WR PLQ VSHQG 6HH EHORZ IRU IXOO EUHDNGRZQ

%ULVWRO 6KRZURRP /RQJZHOO *UHHQ 7UDGH 3DUN %ULVWRO %6 (5 0RQ WR 6DW DP SP 6XQ DP SP EHWWDOLYLQJ FR XN

$UUDQJH \RXU )5(( KRPH GHVLJQ YLVLW FDOO 5HSUHVHQWDWLYH $35

3OHDVH WDNH D PRPHQW WR UHDG RXU WHUPV DQG FRQGLWLRQV $OO GLVFRXQWV SULFHV DSSO\ WR IXUQLWXUH RQO\ H[FOXGLQJ ÀWWLQJ VXUYH\ DSSOLDQFHV DQG DFFHVVRULHV ([WUD UHODWHV WR 'HVLJQHU FROOHFWLRQ NLWFKHQV PLQ VSHQG RI DSSOLHV .LWFKHQ OD\RXW FRQVLVWV RI [ PP EDVH FXSERDUGV [ PP ZDOO FXSERDUGV [ EXLOW XQGHU RYHQ KRXVLQJ [ PP FRUQHU EDVH FXSERDUG [ PP LQWR ZDOO FXSERDUG ZRUN WRS $SSOLDQFH RIIHU 6SHQG IRU ZRUWK RI IUHH DSSOLDQFHV 6SHQG IRU IUHH DSSOLDQFHV IRU IRU DQG IRU $XWKRULVHG DQG UHJXODWHG E\ WKH )LQDQFLDO &RQGXFW $XWKRULW\

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

OPEN HOUSE Looking for some deals to spruce up your home? Alison Cork, from HomesAndBargains.co.uk, has put together these latest offers.

��

�� “��” – � �� “��” �� hspzvuh{ovtl6jvt7lkusv|z� ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

�� lklu}lyhukhz6jv6|r ��

�� ’� �� o|ny|n6jv6|r� ��

�� – �� zs|tilyzs|tily6jvt7hlyvilk� ��

Practical and beautiful, a potager has the best of both Ohyklupun �� ’� ��

he word “potager” originates from the French “jardin potager” meaning a garden providing vegetables for the pot, and is now used to describe an ornamental kitchen garden. In medieval Europe, peasants enjoyed pottering in their potager gardens, while abbeys and monasteries fed communities from similar spaces. Later in the 16th and 17th centuries, the great French chateaux of Villandry and Versailles adopted this formal ornamental style of gardening. However, even with a small gardens, it is possible to plant your own potager. Start by carefully choosing a site. A dry, sunny area with good drainage will give crops a flying start. Avoid the shade of overhanging trees, and keep away from dry areas under hedging. Be prepared to spend some time on soil preparation. A good friable soil with the addition of home-made compost will encourage crops to thrive; if you have sticky clay soil, dig in lots of mushroom compost and pea gravel. You should aim for a consistency not unlike the

topping on an apple crumble. The potager style uses formal, geometric beds divided by narrow paths for easy access. Mix triangles, squares and L-shapes to make best use of your space, but keep the beds as large as possible for maximum growing potential. Raised beds will help keep off the majority of slugs and snails, and are easier on your back, too. Traditional materials such as wood and woven willow will create a natural feel to your potager; for a more contemporary look, use blockwork painted in bright colours. If space allows, aim to create four main cropping areas, so that you can practice crop rotation between roots, legumes, brassicas and other plants. This enables crops to make best use of the soil nutrients. The main planting elements to consider are colour, texture and shape. Group plants in colour blocks or rows, such as purples with oranges and yellows with greens. Alternate low-growing and tall, willowy plants and consider flowering and fruiting seasons. You can easily download pictures from the

internet, creating a collage to see how your final planting scheme will work. Choose edible flowers for colour and to add to salads in summer; these will also attract beneficial insects to help control unwanted pests. Plant crops in rows or blocks for dramatic visual effect, placing contrasting colours next to each other. Edge beds with clipped box, lavender, chives or alpine strawberries. Or, for a more fruitful edging, choose stepover apples or pears. And don’t forget to use the vertical space: obelisks dripping with scented sweet peas, archways supporting miniature pumpkins, herbs spilling out of old chimney pots, or peas climbing over willow wigwams will all add an extra dimension. Herbs are a useful addition to the potager. Choose garlic chives, with white, edible flowers, beloved of butterflies and bees; fresh scented lemon verbena makes a delicious herbal tea; basil “Purple Ruffles” will add a splash of colour and a strong scent, while the statuesque flower heads of angelica archangelica will add height. For more permanent

herb planting, add bay, which can be clipped into formal shapes for structure. To achieve a softer look, choose lilac-flowering rosemary “Miss Jessopp’s Upright”. Flowers are an essential part of the quintessential potager garden and will add colour throughout the seasons. The scent of sweet pea, is heavenly in the heat of summer, while allium “Globemaster” and dahlia “Bishop’s Children” will add height to your beds. And the rich mahogany shades of rudbeckia “Capucinno” will shine out in the low autumn sun. So get planning and planting, and in no time at all you will have a potager to be proud of. For inspiration, local potager-style gardens include: Barnsley House, Cirencester, Glos, www.barnsleyhouse.com; Mill Dene Garden, Blockley, Moreton-in -Marsh, Glos, www.milldenegarden.co.uk; Barley Wood Walled Garden, Wrington, Somerset, www.walledgarden.co.uk; Yeo Valley Organic Garden, Blagdon, Somerset, www.yeovalley.co.uk. Contact Sue on 0117 944 2432, or email sue_oakey@hotmail.co.uk.

��

*$5',1(5 +$6.,16 '$< &22.6+23 (9(17 )5,

6$9( $1

(;75$

6WHOODU +DUG $QRGLVHG 3LHFH 1RQ 6WLFN &RRNZDUH 6HW FP PLON SDQ DQG FP VDXFHSDQV FP IU\LQJ SDQ

VDYHU SULFH QRZ

2))

(;,67,1* 6$9(5 35,&(6 ,1 285 &22.6+23 '(3$570(17

VDYHU SULFH QRZ

-XGJH FP 7LHU 6WHDPHU VWDLQOHVV VWHHO 9HQWHG JODVV OLG +; 553

6$7 0$5 QG

021 0$5 WK 681 0$5 UG

0$5 VW

6WHOODU 3LHFH 1RQ 6WLFN &RRNZDUH 6HW FP PLON SDQ DQG FP VDXFHSDQV FP IU\LQJ SDQ DYDLODEOH LQ 5HG 9DQLOOD %ODFN

VDYHU SULFH QRZ

-XGJH 9LVWD 3LHFH 6WDLQOHVV 6WHHO &RRNZDUH 6HW DQG FP 6DXFHSDQV FRPSOHWH ZLWK GUDLQLQJ OLGV - $

VDYHU SULFH QRZ

-XVW D IHZ H[DPSOHV IURP RXU KXJH UDQJH RI *ODVVZDUH &KLQDZDUH :RRGZDUH %DNHZDUH *DGJHWV &RRNZDUH &XWOHU\ .QLYHV 8WHQVLOV 6WRUDJH %LQV 7DEOHZDUH 2YHQZDUH *LIWZDUH DQG &DQGOHV

6WHOODU 5RFKHVWHU 0DWW 3LHFH &XWOHU\ 6HW HDFK RI WKH IROORZLQJ WDEOH NQLYHV DQG IRUNV GHVVHUW NQLYHV IRUNV DQG VSRRQV VRXS VSRRQV WHDVSRRQV DQG VHUYLQJ VSRRQV

VDYHU SULFH QRZ

-DPLH 2OLYHU 3LHFH &RORXUHG .QLIH 6HW 1RQ VWLFN FRDWLQJ FP &KHI NQLIH FP VHUUDWHG SDULQJ NQLIH FP SDULQJ NQLIH 553

0(*$ '($/6

VDYHU SULFH QRZ

-RVHSK -RVHSK (OHYDWH 3LHFH 8WHQVLO 6HW :KHQ WKH (OHYDWH XWHQVLOV DUH SODFHG GRZQ WKH KHDGV DUH DOZD\V UDLVHG RI WKH ZRUN VXUIDFH

VDYHU SULFH QRZ

'HQE\ &RRN DQG 'LQH 7DEOHZDUH 'LQQHU SODWH VDYHU SULFH 6DODG SODWH VDYHU SULFH &HUHDO ERZO VDYHU SULFH &RIIHH EHDNHU VDYHU SULFH

0(*$ '($/6 0(*$ '($/6 6$9( 83 72

1HII 7RXFK &RQWURO &HUDPLF +RE (OHFWURQLF FRQWURO /(' GLVSOD\ WLPHU \HDU JXDUDQWHH 7 % ; ZDV 0HJD 'HDO 3OXV )UHH 1HII 3LHFH 3DQ 6HW ZRUWK

RQ VHOHFWHG VPDOO NLWFKHQ DSSOLDQFHV

ZZZ JDUGLQHUKDVNLQV FR XN

%$&21 6$86$*( )5,(' (** +$6+ %52:1 $1' %$.(' %($16 6(59(' :,7+ $ 6/,&( 2) 72$67

(

$ )(

1RUPDO 3ULFH d ( ==

%URDG 3ODLQ %ULVWRO %6 -3 7+,6 681'$< (1-2< $ 35,&( 7HOHSKRQH +$/) ,7(0 %5($.)$67

5XVVHOO +REEV 2[IRUG %UXVKHG 6WDLQOHVV 6WHHO )DVW %RLO .HWWOH ZDV 0HJD 'HDO

&2))(

KRPHFHQWUH

5XVVHOO +REEV &ODVVLF %UXVKHG 6WDLQOHVV 6WHHO 6OLFH 7RDVWHU ZDV 0HJD 'HDO

5DQJHPDVWHU /LPLWHG (GLWLRQ 'XDO )XHO 5DQJH &RRNHU %ODFN DQG &KURPH EXUQHU JDV KRE LQFOXGLQJ ZRN EXUQHU 2QH FRQYHQWLRQDO RYHQ DQG RQH IDQ RYHQ 6HSDUDWH JULOO 3URJUDPPDEOH PDLQ RYHQ ZDV 0HJD 'HDO

*DUGLQHU +DVNLQV

QRZ QRZ QRZ QRZ

6+ 2 3

12: 21/< $YDLODEOH 6XQGD\V DP DP

VHH 6KRSSLQJ KRXUV 0RQGD\ )ULGD\ DP SP WDULII ERDUG 6DWXUGD\V DP SP 6XQGD\V DP SP $35 3/($6( $6. ,1 6725( )25 '(7$,/6 $OO RXU SULFHV LQFOXGH 9$7 $// RIIHUV VXEMHFW WR DYDLODELOLW\ 6RPH µ6DYH XS WR¶ GLVFRXQWV UHIHU WR PDQXIDFWXUHUV UHFRPPHQGHG SULFHV

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

)5(( &86720(5 3$5.,1*

,17(5(67 )5(( &5(',7 $9$,/$%/(

TELEVISION

Film highlight �� 0[|ukh 4 Kohuuls <4 Awt1 �� ’� �� 0[|ukh 4 JJK:4 Awt1

It’s a dog’s life for Louis on streets of LA

�� ’� �� ’�� ’� �� ’� ��

�� ’� ��

��

�� 0Kohuuls <4 98wt1 �� 0JJK 94 Awt1

��’� �� 0Awt4 Kohuuls <1 �� 0Kohuuls <4 Awt1 �� ’� ��

Daily picks �� 0JJK:4 Awt1 �� ’� �� Thtipun Tp}l 0JJK:4 @wt1 �� ’� �� 0Kohuuls =4 Awt1

Soap highlight �� 0JJK91 ��’� �� ’� �� – ��

Documentary highlight �� 0Kohuuls =4_lkulzkh 4 @wt1 ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

TV PICKS

THE VOICE UK 6.45pm, BBC1

Emma Willis and Marvin Humes present the first live round of the singing contest, in which the 12 remaining acts perform for a place in the semi-final.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts (S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 1.45 Escape to the Country (R,S). 2.45 Davina: Beyond Breaking Point (R,S,HD). 3.45 Reflex (S,HD). 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.10 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 5.25 Sport Relief: The Best Bits (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

STEWART LEE’S COMEDY VEHICLE 10.15pm, BBC2

The comedian explores more themes in standup routines filmed at the Mildmay Club in Stoke Newington, north London. The performances are interspersed with clips of script editor Chris Morris grilling the comedian about his ideas and the episode ends with a short film.

BBC2

6.15 Tom Kerridge’s Proper Pub Food 6.45 Sport Relief’s Top Dog 9.15 Life on Earth 10.10 The Nature of Britain 11.00 Fred Dibnah’s Made in Britain 11.30 Great British Railway Journeys 12.00 James Martin: Home Comforts 12.30 Mary Berry Cooks 1.00 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 1.05 Gregory Peck: Talking Pictures 1.35 Film: Spellbound (S) (1945). ●●● 3.25 Ingrid Bergman: Talking Pictures 4.00 Film: Notorious (S) (1946). ●●●●● 5.40 Flog It! Trade Secrets

THE AMERICANS 9.25pm, ITV

Elizabeth receives a distress signal, and Philip tries to work out what the consequences of their last operation will be for their family. Starring Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Dinner Date (R,S). 10.25 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 11.20 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 12.00 The Chase (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Unforgettable Noele Gordon (R,S). 1.30 Midsomer Murders (R,S). 3.30 Film: Kindergarten Cop (S,HD) (1990). Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. ●● 5.35 ITV News West Country (S). 5.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

LIVE INTERNATIONAL BOXING 9.30pm, Channel 5

Kid Galahad v Sergio Prado, plus the two remaining quarter-finals in the Maxi Nutrition Knockout, all from Ponds Forge in Sheffield. Local fighter Galahad is the star attraction on the night as he faces the unbeaten Spaniard for the vacant European Super Bantamweight title.

Channel 4

6.00 Close. 6.10 The Hoobs (R,S). 7.00 Trans World Sport (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD). 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.25 Frasier (R,S). 9.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10.45 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 11.45 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.40 Undercover Boss USA (R,S,HD). 1.40 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD). Live coverage from Newbury, Lingfield Park and Kelso. 4.10 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.30 It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief (R,S,HD). 11.30 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 12.30 Ice Road Truckers (R,S,HD). 1.30 Film: The Bridge at Remagen (S) (1969). Second World War adventure, starring George Segal. ●●● 3.45 Film: Stone Cold (S,HD) (2005). Detective drama, starring Tom Selleck. ●●● 5.30 Film: Columbo: Old Fashioned Murder (S) (1976). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. ●●●

after

Channel 4 Racing, 1.40pm

Longmire, 6.50pm

▼

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! A-Z of Animals (S). An alphabetical look at videos from the animal kingdom.

6.15 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). Boe Olaleye hosts the final dinner party in north London. 6.45 Channel 4 News (S).

6.50 Longmire (S,HD). 1/10. New series. Crime drama, starring Robert Taylor.

▼

Iesher, Jamie, Jermain, Lee, Rachael, Sally and Sophie May perform for a place in the semifinal. See Choices Above.

7.30 Dad’s Army (R,S). 5/14. Walker is accused of treason.

7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway (S,HD). 5/7. The duo welcome presenter Christine Bleakley, and are assisted in their duties by guest announcers the Muppets.

7.05 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 12/22. Students at SHIELD’s academy of science and technology are attacked.

7.40 NCIS (R,S). 22/24. A blind man unwittingly photographs evidence of a murder.

▼

8.40 The National Lottery Live (S,HD). Kate Garraway reveals the results. 8.50 The Voice UK Results (S,HD). 12/14. The coaches lose one act each.

8.00 The Perfect Morecambe & Wise (S). 4/9. Glenda Jackson dons a ballgown to bring a touch of class to proceedings. 8.30 The Plantagenets (R,S,HD). 1/3. Robert Bartlett tells the story of England’s longestruling royal dynasty.

8.25 The Cube (S,HD). 4/8. A personal trainer tackles a series of tough challenges, from agility tests to skills trials, aiming to win a jackpot of £250,000. Phillip Schofield hosts.

8.00 Hostages (S,HD). 11/15. See Choices Above.

8.35 NCIS (R,S). 23/24. A man is found dead in a taxi.

▼

The Cube, 8.25pm

6.40 Don’t Panic! The Dad’s Army Story (R,S). Victoria Wood celebrates the comedy.

9.25 Casualty (S,HD). 30/48. Ethan is compromised by a pair of environmental activists.

9.30 QI XL (S,HD). 8/16. Extended edition. With Jo Brand, John Sessions and Dara O Briain.

9.25 The Americans (S,HD). 2/13. See Choices Above.

9.00 Rush Hour 3 (S,HD) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●

10.15 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.30 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights of the latest Premier League clashes, including Chelsea v Arsenal at Stamford Bridge and Cardiff City v Liverpool at the Cardiff City Stadium. Followed by National Lottery Update.

9.25 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 9.30 Live International Boxing (S). Kid Galahad v Sergio Prado, plus the two remaining quarterfinals in the Maxi Nutrition Knockout, all from Ponds Forge in Sheffield. Local fighter Galahad is the star attraction on the night as he faces the unbeaten Spaniard for the vacant European Super Bantamweight title. Meanwhile, the lightheavyweight tournament that began last week in Reading continues with Danny McIntosh v Travis Dickinson and Matty Clarkson v Lee Duncan, with the former bout also seeing the vacant English title up for grabs. Presented by Mark Pougatch, with commentary and analysis from Dave Farrar, Al Bernstein and Richie Woodhall. See Choices Above.

10.15 Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle (S,HD). 4/6. See Choices Above. 10.45 Glasgow: Big Night Out (R,S,HD). Stanley Baxter narrates a documentary looking at Glasgow through the eyes of acts who have performed there. 11.45 Savage Grace (S) (2007). See Choices Above. ●●●

▼

The Plantagenets, 8.30pm

6.45 The Voice UK (S,HD). 12/14. Emma Willis and Marvin Humes present the first live round of the singing contest, in which the 12 remaining acts - Bizzi, Chris, Christina, Emily, Georgia,

▼

6 7 8 9

Casualty, 9.25pm

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

12.05 The Football League Show (S). Including highlights of Middlesbrough v Queens Park Rangers. 1.25 Weatherview (S). 1.30 BBC News (S,HD).

1.15 Film: The Secret in Their Eyes (HD) (2009). Argentinean drama, starring Ricardo Darin. ●●●●● 3.15 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

10.20 ITV News and Weather (S); Weather. 10.35 Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (S,HD) (2004). The hapless journalist’s new romance looks set to be shortlived when she ends up serving time in a Thai prison. Comedy sequel, starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth and Hugh

10.40 Daredevil (S,HD) (2003). A blind attorney with radar-like senses leads a double life as a masked vigilante fighting evil on the streets of New York. Comic-book adventure, with Ben Affleck and Colin Farrell. ●●

Grant. ●●●

12.35 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 In Plain Sight (R,S,HD). Mary is frustrated by a witness’s refusal to testify. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

12.40 Film: Election (S,HD) (1999). Satirical comedy, starring Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon. ●●●● 2.25 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). Alicia helps her brother with his relationship problems. 3.15 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 5.15 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show.

Thinking of Fostering? Could you help children and young people rebuild their lives? Foster carers are urgently required in the South West

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.10 The Drive-By Slayers: Born to Kill? (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

Duncan locks the Sanders family in a room for the day while he and his team head to New York to eliminate the snipers targeting President Kincaid. Starring Toni Collette and Dylan McDermott.

ITV2

6.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 8.35 Coronation Street (S,HD). 11.00 The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (R,S,HD). 12.55 The Only Way Is Essex (R,S,HD). 2.25 You’ve Been Framed! Funniest 100 (R,S). 3.25 Britain’s Got More Talent: Singers & Dancers (R,S,HD). 4.25 Film: Babe: Pig in the City (S,HD) (1998). Family comedy sequel, with Magda Szubanski. ●●●

REVOLUTION 10pm, Sky1

Monroe decides the only chance of winning is to recruit more muscle, so he leads Charlie and Connor on a risky mission to find mercenaries in Las Vegas. Aaron reconnects with an old friend who has embarked on a career as a faith healer. Featuring a guest appearance by US rock star Bret Michaels.

6.25 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 10.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 5.00 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club. 9.00 Game Changers (HD). 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 WWE Superstars (HD). A round-up of all the latest wrestling news. 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S). 3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

HOSTAGES 8pm, Channel 4

SAVAGE GRACE 11.45pm, BBC2

GOLD

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 8.10 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.05 One Foot in the Grave (S). 1.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 3.00 Film: Carry On Constable (1960). Comedy, starring Sid James. ●●● 4.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 5.15 Only Fools and Horses The Trotters lose their millions. (S).

Mr Bean’s Holiday, 8.15pm

Rude Tube, 10.40pm

Revolution, 10pm

Bottom, 10pm

6.15 About a Boy (S,HD) (2002). Romantic comedy, starring Hugh Grant and Toni Collette. ●●●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/23. Leonard argues with Penny.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1/24. 6.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 6/24.

6.45 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2002. The Trotters go to France.

7.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 5/22. Barney has an unwanted admirer. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 7/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 15/22. Flanders is plagued with guilt after punching Homer. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 20/22.

8.00 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 11/22. Russell is sent on a dangerous mission that could lead to a clash between different groups of Tomorrow People.

8.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 7/12. Sports-based comedy quiz. Jamie Redknapp and Andrew Flintoff are the captains, with guest panellists Amy Williams and Jack Whitehall.

9.00 Lake Placid (S,HD) (1999). Four parties investigating a mysterious death by a lake discover a maneating 30ft crocodile with an insatiable appetite. Comedy horror, starring Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda. ●●●

9.00 Arrow (R,S,HD). 14/23. Felicity feels dejected when Sara becomes a fully fledged member of Oliver’s team, so the computer whizz is determined to prove her worth – only to put herself in immediate danger.

8.15 Mr Bean’s Holiday (S,HD) (2007). The bumbling fool wins a trip to France in the church raffle, only to cause chaos when he is accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson and Willem Dafoe. Including FYI Daily. ●●

10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.40 Rude Tube (R,S,HD). (R,S,HD). 2/10. With 4/6. Alex Zane and his Paloma Faith and Ronan talking computer Keating. showcase 50 videos found online that 10.50 Crazy Beaches feature a range of (R,S,HD). 3/8. Malia bizarre stunts, including hosts its beach festival. an unorthodox way of eating a tomato.

10.00 Revolution (S,HD). 13/20. See Choices Above.

RUSH HOUR 3 9pm, Channel 4

The true story of Barbara Daly, whose efforts to ‘cure’ her son’s homosexuality had tragic consequences. Drama, starring Julianne Moore.

8.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2003. Del and Rodney have only two weeks to find the cash they need to pay the Inland Revenue, or face losing their cherished flat in Nelson Mandela House.

An assassination attempt sets Lee and Carter off on a mission to take on Triad gangs in Paris. Action comedy sequel, starring Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.

Sky Sports 1

6.30 Ringside 7.30 Premier League Preview 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club 9.00 Game Changers 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00 FL72 Live (HD). Derby County v Nottingham Forest (Kick-off 12.15pm). 2.30 Saturday Team Talk 3.00 Soccer Saturday 5.00 Live Saturday Night Football (HD). West Ham United v Manchester United (Kick-off 5.30pm).

FL72 Live, 12pm

7.00 Great TV Mistakes (R,S). On-screen mishaps and continuity errors. 7.30 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). Vincent Van Gogh battles an alien only he can see. 8.20 Top Gear: Burma Special (R,S,HD). Part two of two. The three presenters venture into a state riven by civil war. Last in the series. 9.25 Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life (S,HD) (2003). Action adventure sequel, starring Angelina Jolie. ●● 11.10 Family Guy (R,S). 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.55 Family Guy (R,S).

12.20 Family Guy (R,S). 12.45 Uncle (R,S,HD). 1.15 Uncle (R,S,HD). 1.45 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.15 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.45 Uncle (R,S,HD). 3.15 Uncle 3.45 Kerry 8.00 SNF – Game of the Day (R,S,HD). (R,S,HD).

(HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the day’s top Premier League match.

10.00 Bottom (S). 2/6. The duo 10.00 SNF – Match Choice await the gas man. (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents extended 10.40 The Young Ones (S). highlights from the 2/6. The guys strike oil in Premier League, their basement. allowing viewers to access the latest round of top-flight fixtures, including Cardiff City v Liverpool.

11.20 Educating Joey Essex (R,S,HD). The former TOWIE regular heads to the wilds of South Africa.

11.45 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/24. Tension mounts when the gang attends a weekend science conference.

11.30 The League of 11.00 Fantastic Four (S) Gentlemen (S). 2/6. A (2005). Sci-fi comic-book new road is planned for adventure, starring Ioan Royston Vasey. Gruffudd. ●●

11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). Derby County v Nottingham Forest.

12.20 Film: The Bourne Supremacy (S,HD) (2004). Action thriller sequel, starring Matt Damon. ●●●● 2.20 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.45 Kings of Leon: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.55 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.45 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.15 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.45 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.15 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.35 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.00 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.20 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

1.05 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). With guests Frank Lampard, Jason Manford and Gabby Logan. 2.05 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 3.05 Miami SWAT (R,S,HD). 4.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD). 5.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD).

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD). 1.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 2.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 4.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 5.30 FL72 Highlights (HD).

12.10 Extras (S). Kate Winslet guest stars. 12.50 Extras (S). Les Dennis guest stars. 1.25 Bottom (S). The duo await the gas man. 1.55 The Young Ones (S). The guys strike oil in their basement. 2.30 The League of Gentlemen (S). A new road is planned for Royston Vasey. 3.00 Close

BBC3

BBC4

7.00 David Attenborough’s First Life (R,HD). Part one of two. The origins of life on Earth. 8.00 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History (R,HD). The shipwrecks of the Georgian age. 9.00 Inspector De Luca. New series. The body of a prostitute is discovered on a beach, giving Inspector De Luca a tricky case to solve. Thirties-set Italian detective drama, starring Alessandro Preziosi. 10.50 The Genius of David Bowie (R). 11.50 Lou Reed Remembered (R). 12.50 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 1.30 Sounds of the 70s 2 Disco – Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now (R). 2.00 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History (R,HD). 3.00 David Attenborough’s First Life (R,HD).

SATURDAY March 22

Flat roof’s that last for over 50 years

JANUARY SALE NOW ON! Registered Company

Before

After

• PITCHED ROOFING • CHOICE OF COLOURS • NEW ROOF TILES OR RE-USE EXISTING • REPLACEMENT FASCIAS • RE-FELT AND BATTEN • RANGE OF STYLES • GUTTERING, SOFFITS AND CLADDINGS

Southern Plasticlad

FREEPHONE 0800 542 6066 www.southernplasticlad.co.uk SHOWROOM Ramhill Business Park, Coalpit Heath, Bristol BS36 2TX Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

THE MUSKETEERS 9pm, BBC1

TV PICKS

LOUIS THEROUX’S LA STORIES 9pm, BBC2

The reporter explores different aspects of Los Angeles, beginning by meeting the characters whose lives revolve around the city’s feral dogs.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.25 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions (S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.15 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 The Sport Relief Games Show (S,HD). 3.15 Alex Against the Rock (S,HD). 3.45 Deadly on a Mission: Pole to Pole (S,HD). 4.15 Regional Programme (S,HD). 4.45 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 5.20 Pointless Celebrities (R,S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

The quartet escort the queen and her ladies-inwaiting to a tranquil forest pool renowned for its powers of fertility – unaware the king is growing tired of his young bride. When her life comes under threat from an unseen gunman, they have to spirit her away, and the group takes refuge in a fortified convent.

BBC2

6.00 Film: Angels One Five (S) (1953). ●●● 7.35 Mountain (R,S,HD). 8.35 Countryfile (R,S,HD). 9.30 Gardeners’ World (R,S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S). 11.30 James Martin: Home Comforts (R,S,HD). 12.15 Michel Roux’s Service (R,S,HD). 2.15 Ex-S (S). 2.45 Film: I Know Where I’m Going! (S,HD) (1945). Romantic drama, starring Wendy Hiller. ●●●●● 4.15 Flog It! (R,S,HD). 5.00 Collectaholics (R,S,HD).

HARRY’S SOUTH POLE HEROES 8pm, ITV

Prince Harry embarks on his expedition in the Antarctic with four injured British soldiers as part of the Walking with the Wounded South Pole Allied Challenge.

ITV

6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 10.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R). 11.25 ITV News and Weather (S). 11.35 The Unforgettable Dudley Moore (R,S). 12.05 Agatha Christie’s Marple (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 2.25 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S). 3.10 River Monsters (R,S,HD). 4.15 Film: The Spy Who Loved Me (S,HD) (1977). James Bond spy adventure, starring Roger Moore. ●●●●

THE MILLION POUND NECKLACE: INSIDE BOODLES 8pm, Channel 4

Documentary following one of Britain’s most exclusive jewellers, Boodles. The family-run business, founded more than 200 years ago, prepares to launch its most expensive collection yet – Greenfire, created from a set of rare Colombian emeralds.

Channel 4

6.10 The Hoobs (R,S). 7.00 Freesports on 4 (S). 7.30 Challenge Wanaka Triathlon (S). 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 8.30 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.35 Secret Eaters (R,S,HD). Two friends agree to have their eating habits scrutinised 24 hours a day. 1.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.35 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 3.35 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.35 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show. 5.40 Channel 4 News (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power Rangers Super Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 Access (S). 10.50 Film: Arthur and the Invisibles (S,HD) (2006). ●● 12.30 Film: Hoodwinked (S,HD) (2005). ●● 2.05 Film: Zoom (S) (2006). ●● 3.50 Film: The Witches (S) (1990). Children’s fantasy, starring Anjelica Huston. ●●●● 5.35 5 News Weekend (S,HD). 5.40 Film: The Great Escape (S,HD) (1963). See Choices Above. ●●●●●

▼ ▼

6.10 Rio (S,HD) (2011). Premiere. Animated comedy, with the voice of Jesse Eisenberg. ●●●●

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). Ellie Harrison heads to the beaches of Norfolk, which suffered its biggest storm surge in 60 years in December. Including Weather for the Week Ahead.

7.00 Wild Burma: Nature’s Lost Kingdom (R,S,HD). 3/3. The team splits up to search for tigers. Last in the series.

7.00 Catchphrase (S,HD). 2/12. Stephen Mulhern hosts the game show in which three contestants guess the familiar phrases hidden in animated clues.

▼

after

Deal or No Deal, 4.35pm

6.35 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather (S).

8.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 14/26. Fiona Bruce and the team visit Exeter Cathedral, where items include a table apparently used by Bonnie Prince Charlie and artwork painted by Edward VII as a child.

8.00 Lambing Live: Farming Families (S,HD). 1/5. New series. Kate Humble and Adam Henson revisit people featured in previous series of Lambing Live and introduce this year’s featured family, the Dykes. Continues on Tuesday.

8.00 Harry’s South Pole Heroes (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Million Pound Necklace: Inside Boodles (S). See Choices Above.

▼

You Saw Them Here First, 10.15pm

6.00 The Hairy Bikers: Restoration Road Trip (R,S,HD). 2/3. Si King and Dave Myers help rebuild an early traction engine.

9.00 The Musketeers (S,HD). 9/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 Louis Theroux’s LA Stories (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Mr Selfridge (S,HD). 10/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Tourist (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. ●●

▼

Mock the Week … 10pm

6.05 Blandings (S,HD). 6/7. Connie plays matchmaker for her new best friend. 6.35 Regional News (S,HD).

10.00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather (S,HD). 10.25 Match of the Day 2 (S,HD). Mark Chapman presents action from this afternoon’s fixtures, which were Tottenham Hotspur v Southampton and Aston Villa v Stoke City.

10.00 Mock the Week Looks Back at Royals (R,S). 9/10. Another selection of material from the show’s archives. 10.30 Line of Duty (R,S,HD). 6/6. AC-12’s investigation exposes a vicious criminal gang run from within the police. Last in the series.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather. 10.15 You Saw Them Here First (R,S,HD). 2/2. Patsy Kensit, Mark Benton, David Threlfall and Tony Robinson brave the video vaults, and Kimberley Walsh surprises Coronation Street’s Samia Ghadie with clips of her TV beginnings.

▼

6 7 8 9

Countryfile, 7pm

11.25 Butterfly on a Wheel (S) (2007). Thriller, starring Pierce Brosnan. ●●●

11.30 London River (S,HD) (2009). Drama, starring Brenda Blethyn. ●●●●

11.15 Premiership Rugby Union (HD). Highlights of the latest fixtures in English rugby’s topflight competition.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

12.55 Weatherview (S). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD).

12.55 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). The aftermath of the floods in Somerset. 1.50 Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Part two of two. Guy faces the board to answer a patient’s complaint. 2.50 Sign Zone: Silk (R,S). Martha defends a man facing extradition to America on terrorism charges. 3.50 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.15 The Store. Home shopping. 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

10.55 Dogma (S) (1999). A lapsed Catholic must stop two fallen angels returning to Heaven or it will mean the end of the world. Comedy fantasy, starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Linda Fiorentino. ●●●●

The Great Escape: Revealed, 10pm

9.00 The First Great Escape (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 The Great Escape: Revealed (R,S). 6/7. Archaeologists piece together the true story of the famous PoW breakout, taking three veterans of the escape attempt back to the remains of Stalag Luft III.

11.00 A Bridge Too Far (S) (1977). Fact-based Second World War drama, with Dirk Bogarde. ●●●●

1.20 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 2.05 The Hotel (R,S,HD). The Grosvenor manager plans to go upmarket. 3.00 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). A husband arranges a surprise for his wife. 4.00 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). Mrs Moneypenny provides more cash-saving tips. 4.55 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show. 5.50 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD).

2.25 SuperCasino. 3.10 Dangerous Drivers’ School (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

THE FIRST GREAT ESCAPE 9pm, Channel 5

To mark 70th anniversary of the breakout from Stalag Luft III, depicted in the 1963 film The Great Escape, this documentary uses original accounts to tell the story of a similar prison break that occurred during the First World War, and provided escapees in 1943 with inspiration for their own attempt.

Harry is desperate to clear his name in time for Thanksgiving, but things get worse for the retail magnate when Rose brings him bad news. Drama, starring Jeremy Piven and Frances O’Connor.

ITV2

6.00 Beauty and the Geek 6.45 James Arthur: The Hot Desk 6.55 Emmerdale 9.50 Coronation Street 12.10 Britain’s Got More Talent: Singers & Dancers 1.15 The Best of You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.15 Film: Honey (S,HD) (2003). ●● 4.10 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway (R,S,HD). 5.40 Film: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (S,HD) (2008). ●●

The Mummy … 5.40pm

7.50 Whip It (S,HD) (2009). A misfit teenager tired of her small town and pushy mother secretly takes up the fast-paced sport of roller derby. Comedy drama, starring Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

6.00 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD). 6.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.35 Charmed (R,S). 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.35 Revenge (R,S,HD). 1.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 2.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 3.30 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 4.30 Troy: Best Bits (R,S,HD). 5.35 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power (HD). 7.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 9.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S,HD). 10.00 WWE Superstars (R,HD). 11.00 WWE: Experience (HD). 12.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew (R,S,HD). 2.00 Futurama (R,S). 3.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

MR SELFRIDGE 9pm, ITV

THE TOURIST 9pm, Channel 4

GOLD

6.15 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 7.55 One Foot in the Grave (S). 10.45 Film: Carry On Constable (1960). Comedy, starring Sid James, Kenneth Williams and Kenneth Connor. ●●● 12.30 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.25 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2003. The Trotters desperately need money.

The Vicar of Dibley, 7pm

Dr Dolittle, 8pm

Hawaii Five-0, 9pm

6.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/24. 6.35 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 6/23.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22. Santa’s Little Helper disappears. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9/22.

7.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 7/23. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/23. Leonard, Raj and Howard go camping.

7.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 6/24. Gloria hires a male nanny to look after Manny. 7.30 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (R,S,HD). 7/8.

7.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3/4. Alice and Hugo’s baby is christened. 7.55 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4/4. The village suffers a water shortage.

8.00 Dr Dolittle (S,HD) (1998). The home and surgery of a doctor who can talk to animals is overrun with wildlife. Comedy, with Eddie Murphy and Ossie Davis. ●●●

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 13/22. 8.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 12/22. Bart’s dream girl Mary Spuckler comes to town.

8.45 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 1/2. It is 10 years since Geraldine Granger became the first female vicar of Dibley, and the villagers are keen to celebrate the anniversary. Rachel

9.40 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/23. Kripke plays a prank on Sheldon.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (S,HD). 10/24. The attempted murder of a Pearl Harbour veteran at a remembrance ceremony leads McGarrett and the gang to uncover an unsolved killing in a Honolulu internment camp during the war.

Hunter guest stars.

10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.10 How I Met Your (S,HD). 9/12. Reality Mother (R,S,HD). 9/22. programme following a Robin refuses to go to group of people in the mall. Essex. 10.40 My Mad Fat Diary 10.50 Party Wright Around (R,S,HD). 5/7. Rae the World (R,S,HD). 4/6. demands to be treated like an adult.

THE GREAT ESCAPE 5.40pm, Channel 5

A woman tries to trick the police into thinking a tourist is her criminal lover with his appearance surgically changed. Thriller, with Johnny Depp.

Allied prisoners held in a maximum-security detention camp plan an ingenious mass breakout. Second World War drama, starring Steve McQueen.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 8.00 Game Changers (HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). A review of yesterday’s football action. 12.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Tottenham Hotspur v Southampton (Kick-off 1.30pm). 3.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Aston Villa v Stoke City (Kick-off 4.00pm).

Live Super Sunday, 12.30pm 6.30 Spanish Football (HD). Real Betis v Atletico Madrid.

10.00 Extras (S). 3/6. Kate 10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles Winslet guest stars. (S,HD). 9/24. Deeks and Kensi go undercover at a 10.40 Extras (S). 4/6. Les rehab centre to Dennis guest stars. investigate the murder of a naval IT officer – but their personal lives threaten to take over when he admits his feelings for her.

7.30 Live Spanish Football (HD). Real Madrid v Barcelona (Kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage of the top-flight encounter between the two Spanish giants at the Bernabeu, in a match that may have an impact on the title race.

BBC3

7.00 The Voice UK (R,S,HD). The first live round of the singing contest. 8.55 The Voice UK Results (R,S,HD). The coaches lose one act each. 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). The comedian’s perspective on stories dominating the media. 10.00 Family Guy (R,S). Peter presents his own version of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. 10.45 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). A government minister visits the team. 11.15 American Dad! (R,S). 11.40 American Dad! (R,S). 12.00 Wilfred (S,HD). 12.25 Wilfred (S,HD). 12.45 Wilfred (S,HD). 1.05 Wilfred (S,HD). 1.25 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 1.55 Hair (R,S,HD). 2.55 Life and Death Row (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Magnificent Machines: The Golden Age of the British Sports Car (R). The rise of manufacturers such as Jaguar and MG. 8.00 Mark Lawson talks to Joanna Trollope (HD). An interview with the writer. 9.00 Martin Amis’ England (HD). The novelist attempts to understand the concept of Englishness. 10.00 Some Football Managers with Jokes (R,HD). 10.30 You Will Be My Son (HD) (2011). Premiere. Drama, starring Niels Arestrup. In French. ●●●● 12.05 Brothers in Arms (R). 1.05 The Rolling Stones at the BBC (R). 1.50 Magnificent Machines: The Golden Age of the British Sports Car (R). 2.50 Martin Amis’ England (R,HD).

SUNDAY 10.15 Football Special (HD). Tottenham Hotspur v Southampton and Aston Villa v Stoke City. Highlights of the Premier League matches at White Hart Lane and Villa Park respectively.

11.50 The Big Reunion 2014 (R,S,HD). 7/8. A member of 5th Story is on the edge of a breakdown.

11.45 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 10/15. Jeff realises Audrey always asks him for favours after sex.

11.00 Miami SWAT (R,S,HD). 3/5. The work of the Miami Swat team.

11.20 Nighty Night (S). 2/6. Jill continues to ignore Terry’s phone calls.

11.45 Spanish Football Gold (HD). Real Madrid v Valencia.

12.50 Mom (R,S,HD). Bonnie starts dating chef Rudy. 1.15 Mom (R,S,HD). Christy suffers an injury. 1.40 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Caroline makes a shocking confession to Elena. 2.20 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.45 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.45 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 1.15 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 1.45 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.10 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.35 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.55 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus.

12.00 Miami SWAT (R,S,HD). The work of the elite tactical unit. 1.00 Miami SWAT (R,S,HD). The work of the elite tactical unit. 2.00 Street Crime UK (R,S). 2.30 Street Crime UK (R,S). 3.00 Street Crime UK (R,S). 3.30 Street Crime UK (R,S). 4.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD). 5.00 Emergency Abroad (R,S,HD).

12.00 Getting On. Pippa receives some good news. 12.40 Rev (S). Richard E Grant guest stars. 1.20 Nighty Night (S). Jill continues to ignore Terry’s phone calls. 1.50 Getting On. Pippa receives some good news. 2.20 Rev (S). Richard E Grant guest stars. 3.00 Close

12.00 Spanish Football (HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.30 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 2.45 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 3.00 Spanish Football (HD). 4.00 Football Special (HD). 5.30 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 5.45 Spanish Football Gold (HD).

March

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

TV PICKS

THE MICHAEL MCINTYRE CHAT SHOW 10.35pm, BBC1

THE GADGET SHOW 7pm, Channel 5

The funnyman meets actress and presenter Joanna Lumley, awardwinning rapper Tinie Tempah and Richard Madeley.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Heir Hunters (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.45 Watchdog Test House (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Perfection (R,S). 3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45 More Creatures Great and Small (S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Jason Bradbury teams up with film director Philip Bloom to make a short movie using radiocontrol technology to test three leading editing packages. Former Blue Peter presenter Helen Skelton hopes that a range of gadgets can turn her into a master baker, and Ortis Deley tries out wearable cameras at SeaWorld in California.

BBC2

6.20 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.20 Mountain (R,S,HD). 8.20 Sign Zone: Wanted Down Under (R,S). 9.05 Sign Zone: The Restaurant Man (R,S). 10.05 Sign Zone: Great British Railway Journeys (R,S). 10.35 Click (R,S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Coast (R,S,HD). 1.45 The Nature of Britain (R,S). 2.35 Cagney & Lacey (R,S). 3.25 Bergerac (R,S). 4.15 ’Allo ’Allo! (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S).

REV 10pm, BBC2

Alex gives birth in dramatic circumstances, and Adam teams up with a local imam to help save a playground. Comedy, starring Tom Hollander and Olivia Colman.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With Kian Egan. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet (S,HD). Samantha tries to re-home her twin pygmy goats. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

8 OUT OF 10 CATS 10pm, Channel 4

Team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by guests Dr Christian Jessen, Lethal Bizzle, Joe Wilkinson and Aisling Bea to discuss and dissect the events that set the British public’s chins wagging over the past week. Jimmy Carr hosts the comedy panel show.

Channel 4

6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Coach Trip (R,S,HD). 12.35 River Cottage Veg (R,S,HD). 1.00 Film: The Man Behind the Gun (S) (1953). ●● 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Four in a Bed (S). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 Benidorm ER (R,S,HD). A holidaymaker is rushed to hospital suffering from a suspected stroke. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Ties That Bind (S,HD) (2010). See Choices Above. ●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Mary Berry Cooks, 8.30pm

The Agenda, 10.35pm

Shop Secrets … 8.30pm

The Gadget Show, 7pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/25. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Danny tries to keep Peri from revealing his secret.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). A fire breaks out. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Alex Jones and Matt Baker. 7.30 Bang Goes the Theory (S,HD). Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead (S,HD). 21/30. 6.30 The Voice: Louder on Two (S,HD). 1/10. New series. Companion show to the BBC One talent contest. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip (S,HD). 13&14/30. Anita Manning and Philip Serrell travel through the Yorkshire Dales on their search for bargains to sell at auction.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Peter and Tina are horrified to spot David during their tryst at a hotel.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.55 The Political Slot (S). Syed Kamall MEP presents on behalf of the Conservative Party.

7.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

Silk, 9pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). The repercussions of the verdict are felt far and wide. 8.30 The Great NHS Robbery – Panorama (S,HD). Allegations of fraud in and against the NHS.

8.00 University Challenge (S,HD). 35/37. The first of the semifinals. 8.30 Mary Berry Cooks (S,HD). 4/6. Recipes for a large gathering of guests.

8.00 I Never Knew That About Britain (S,HD). 4/8. The origins of the multi-tiered wedding cake. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Carla tells Michelle she is going to have an abortion.

8.00 Amanda Holden: Exposing Hospital Heartache – Channel 4 Dispatches (S). Amanda Holden looks at the effects of miscarriages and stillbirths. 8.30 Shop Secrets: Tricks of the Trade (S,HD). 2/8.

8.00 Police Interceptors (S,HD). The Operational Support Unit has to evade a guard dog during a drugs raid, Craggy has an encounter with a polecat and Dan deals with the same person twice in one shift. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Silk (S,HD). 5/6. Martha puts aside her personal feelings when asked to defend a friend on trial for a gangland killing. Solicitor-turned-supergrass Micky Joy appears looking for redemption.

9.00 The Plantagenets (S,HD). 2/3. Robert Bartlett examines how the dynasty fought to expand its power across the British Isles and win back land in France, and looks at the creation of a national parliament.

9.00 The Widower (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 One Born Every Minute (S). 5/10. A laid-back father nearly misses his new daughter’s arrival, and a former midwife has to bite her tongue and take a back seat when she is asked to be a birthing partner.

9.00 My Spiral into Debt Hell (S,HD). Four people who have suffered financial disaster, including a woman who borrowed £500 from a loan shark and ended up owing £88,000 and losing her house.

▼

10.00 Rev (S,HD). 1/6. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 ITV News West Country (S); Weather. 10.35 The Agenda (S,HD). 7/10. Tom Bradby and guests look to the week ahead.

10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats (S). 6/9. See Choices Above. 10.50 Gogglebox (R,S). 3/12. Capturing viewers’ instant reactions and lively discussions on what they are watching on TV from the comfort of their own sofas.

10.00 Slaughter on the Sunset Strip (S,HD). 4/10. Psychological profiles of Douglas Clark and Carol Bundy, who acted out their darkest desires when they embarked on a killing spree in Los Angeles in the summer of 1980.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show (S,HD). 3/6. See Choices Above.

11.20 Regional Programme (S). 11.50 Regional Programme (R,S,HD).

11.20 Louis Theroux’s LA Stories (R,S,HD). 1/3. Different aspects of Los Angeles, beginning with the city’s neglected and feral dogs.

11.10 The Secret Mediterranean with Trevor McDonald (R,S,HD). 4/4. The broadcaster visits Egypt, Cyprus and Malta. Last in the series.

11.50 Troy: Best Bits (S,HD). 6/6. Highlights from the magic show. Last in the series.

11.00 The CSI Movie: Bang-Bang (S). 23&24/24. Feature-length episode. A murder suspect takes a woman hostage in a casino.

12.35 Weatherview (S). 12.40 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: The Culture Show: ARTiculation – For the Love of Art (R,S). 12.50 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD).

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly (S,HD). A look back at the concluding last16 matches. 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 4.10 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.50 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.55 Scandal (R,S,HD). 1.45 Hostages (R,S,HD). 2.35 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 3.20 Secret Removers (R,S,HD). The team redecorates a family home. 4.15 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 4.45 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-banker game show. 5.40 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD).

12.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 The Drive-By Slayers: Born to Kill? (R,S,HD). 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (R,S).

▼

after

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

MOONE BOY 9pm, Sky1

Dessie and Fidelma’s wedding day arrives, although things get off to a disastrous start thanks to a combination of Martin, a bowl of Coco Pops and the bride’s all-important dress. And when that disaster is finally averted, a second one appears in the shape of the heavily pregnant bride’s baby.

Malcolm’s financial problems mount, leaving him under pressure and running out of ideas. He decides he would be better off with Felicity dead and plans another fatal car crash.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of New Jersey (S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

E4 6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 So You Think You’re Safe Keeping Fit? (R,S). 7.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

THE WIDOWER 9pm, ITV

AMERICAN PIE 2 10pm, ITV2

TIES THAT BIND 3.15pm, Channel 5

The teenage friends get together after their first year at college and set out to broaden their sexual horizons over the summer. Comedy sequel, with Jason Biggs.

GOLD 6.20 Waiting for God (S). 6.50 To the Manor Born (S). 7.20 Steptoe and Son (S). 8.00 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 9.10 As Time Goes By (S). 9.50 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.30 One Foot in the Grave (S). 11.10 Waiting for God (S). 11.50 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.10 To the Manor Born (S). 1.50 Steptoe and Son (S). 2.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 One Foot in the Grave (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

A woman leaves her peaceful suburban home for New York to settle the affairs of her best friend, who has been murdered. She discovers there may have been more to the killing than the official explanation suggests – and realises her own life is also in danger. Mystery, starring Kristanna Loken.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Spanish Football (HD). 10.00 Football Special (HD). 11.30 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 12.00 Spanish Football (HD). 1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.30 Spanish Football (HD). 3.30 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (S,HD). 4.30 Game Changers (HD). 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD).

Mom, 9pm

My Mad Fat Diary, 10pm

Modern Family, 8.30pm

Harry Hill’s TV Burp, 8pm

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 14/30. Elaine from Leicestershire chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/23. Leonard’s mother visits.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 16/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/24. Ned Flanders opens a shop.

6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 3/10. Truly tries to rescue Howard.

6.30 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Cute kittens and potty puppies. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring troublesome toys.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Ste realises Danny’s secret has been discovered by Peri. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10/22.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 17/22. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 1/22. Bart heads to New York to find an ex-girlfriend.

7.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 2/5. The series paying tribute to the double act continues.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 24/24. Judith goes into labour. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1/22. Charlie struggles with his feelings for ex-fiancee Mia.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 10/22. Santiago’s Thanksgiving dinner party goes awry. 8.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 14/20. Clips include a beatboxing goat.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 2/22. 8.30 Modern Family (S,HD). 7/24. A family trip to the school fair proves eventful for Phil and Claire.

8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 10/13. A quirky review of The Real Extras and Freaky Eaters. 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 12/13. Quirky TV review.

9.00 Mom (S,HD). 14/22. Christy and Bonnie discover hurtful secrets about each other. 9.30 Mom (S,HD). 15/22. Christy attempts to bond with her father.

9.00 Moone Boy (S,HD). 6/6. 9.00 Revenge (S,HD). 12/22. See Choices Above. Emily is brought to Grayson Manor to 9.30 Moone Boy: Behind recover, with Victoria the Scenes (R,S,HD). The waiting to welcome her making of the sitcom. home as soon as she awakes. Meanwhile, Daniel wants Margaux to focus on the Lydia Davis story.

9.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook (S). 3/7. Messrs Corbett and Barker reminisce about sketches including Home Rule for Ruislip, Crossed Lines and the Phantom Raspberry Blower. Lisa Stansfield guests.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Southend United v Oxford United (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the League Two encounter at Roots Hall between two sides vying for promotion to League One. The Us will be eager to avenge the 2-0 home to defeat to the Shrimpers in the reverse fixture last October, when first-half goals from Conor Clifford and Luke Prosser secured the points for Phil Brown’s side.

10.00 American Pie 2 (S,HD) (2001). See Choices Above. ●●●

12.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Judith goes into labour. 12.40 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 1.05 Dads (R,S,HD). Comedy, starring Seth Green. 1.35 Dads (R,S,HD). 1.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

10.00 Stella (R,S,HD). 9/10. A 10.00 My Mad Fat Diary fun family outing for (S,HD). 6/7. Rae loses her Stella, Michael and the patience with Chloe, kids takes a darker turn before a surprise when Katie ends up in discovery allows her to A&E, while Collette see things from her finally rumbles her friend’s perspective. husband’s affair with Comedy, starring Sharon Emma. Rooney.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.00 The Footballers’ (S). The Trotter brothers Football Show (HD). go on a lads’ day out to Dave Jones is joined by Margate, but things do guests including not turn out as expected, footballers, managers and they end up and club chairmen to stranded in the seaside discuss all the major town overnight. stories in the week’s Christmas special from football news. 1989.

11.00 How I Met Your 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles Mother (R,S,HD). 13/24. (R,S,HD). 3/24. Sam goes undercover as a bomb 11.30 How I Met Your specialist. Mother (R,S,HD). 17/24.

11.50 Men Behaving Badly (S). 4/7. Tony gets a tattoo.

11.00 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches.

12.00 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 12.30 Revenge (R,S,HD). 1.25 The Tomorrow People (R,S,HD). 2.20 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.45 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.05 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.30 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.20 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.30 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina and Patsy hit the bottle. 1.10 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina gets involved in Patsy’s magazine. 1.40 Men Behaving Badly (S). Tony gets a tattoo. 2.10 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina and Patsy hit the bottle. 3.00 Close

12.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show. 1.30 The Footballers’ Football Show (HD). 2.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 3.30 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (S,HD). 5.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). A female reporter is murdered. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). The team investigates the smuggling of passport chips. 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Border Invasion USA (R,S,HD). 4.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD).

BBC3

7.00 Hotel of Mum and Dad (R,S,HD). A fiveyear-long relationship is put to the test. 8.00 Junior Paramedics (R,S,HD). Steph attends an armed siege. 9.00 Life and Death Row (S,HD). The trial of Guy Heinze Jr. 10.15 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra (R,S,HD). Extended edition of the comedian’s topical show. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). Peter decides to become a member of the paparazzi. 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S). 12.10 Life and Death Row (R,S,HD). 1.25 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 1.55 Pramface (R,S,HD). 2.25 Bamboo (R,S,HD). 2.45 Life and Death Row (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 Horizon: Why Can’t We Predict Earthquakes? (R,HD). 9.00 Storyville: Shooting Bigfoot – America’s Monster Hunters. Documentary following three Bigfoot search parties. 10.35 Timewatch: Stonehenge (R,HD). 11.30 Fossil Wonderlands: Nature’s Hidden Treasures (R,HD). 12.30 The Walshes (R,HD). 1.00 Brushing Up On – British Woodlands (R). 1.30 Horizon: Why Can’t We Predict Earthquakes? (R,HD). 2.30 Storyville: Shooting Bigfoot – America’s Monster Hunters (R).

MONDAY March

�� ’� ��

Green Un

�� ’� ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

TV PICKS

SHETLAND 9pm, BBC1

Part one of two. Perez investigates a suspicious car accident in which an old reporter friend chasing the story of a controversial gas pipeline was killed.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Heir Hunters (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.45 Watchdog Test House (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Perfection (R,S). 3.00 Escape to the Country (S,HD). 3.45 More Creatures Great and Small (S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Excellent â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Very good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Good â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? Average â&#x2014;? Poor

RIVER MONSTERS 7.30pm, ITV

On the Canada-US border lies a vast lake that hides a dark history. For Native Americans itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a sacred site, but recently something has risen up from the depths to attack swimmers. Jeremy Wade plunges into the heart of a waterfall in the Pacific Northwest on a mission to catch the oldest river monster of his career.

BBC2

6.25 Homes Under the Hammer 7.25 Mountain 8.20 Sign Zone: Wanted Down Under 9.05 Sign Zone: Great British Garden Revival 10.05 Sign Zone: Great British Railway Journeys 10.35 HARDtalk 11.00 BBC News 11.30 BBC World News 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00 The Super League Show 1.45 Coast 1.55 South Africa Walks (R,S). 2.25 Himalaya with Michael Palin (R,S). 3.25 Cagney & Lacey (R,S). 4.15 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S).

THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE 9pm, BBC2

LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT 10pm, Channel 5

The five quarter-finalists make blouses from a 1930s pattern using vintage sewing machines, and transform menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s suits into garments for women.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With guest panellist Rebecca Adlington. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet (S,HD). Finding a new home for an African grey parrot. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Benson is visited by FBI agent Dana Lewis, who claims she has been raped while working on an undercover project, but is worried if she reports it to her superiors they would pull her off the case and everything that she had achieved would go to waste. Guest starring Marcia Gay Harden.

Channel 4

6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Coach Trip (R,S,HD). 12.35 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 12.50 Film: On the Fiddle (S) (1961). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Four in a Bed (S). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD). The Green Man Pub and Hotel in Wembley, north London. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Back to You and Me (S) (2005). Drama, starring Lisa Hartman Black. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Lambing Live, 8pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best of Both Worlds , 8pm

Law & Order â&#x20AC;Ś 10pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 4/25. Bart sells his soul to Milhouse. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Ste realises Dannyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s secret has been discovered by Peri.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Ricky is devastated after finding out about Braxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s transfer. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Live chat and topical reports. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s coffin is brought home. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead (S,HD). 22/30. 6.30 The Voice: Louder on Two (S,HD). 2/10. Zoe Ball is joined by two of the semi-finalists and their mentor. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 15&16/30. Anita Manning and Philip Serrell go head to head at an auction in Harrogate, North Yorkshire.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 7.30 River Monsters (R,S,HD). 6/7. See Choices Above.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.55 The Political Slot (S). UKIP MEP candidate Janice Atkinson visits Dagenham.

7.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun (R,S,HD). Documentary following life in the British Overseas Territory. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 7.30pm

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 24/52. Harry tries to charm the new consultant pharmacist, Arthur and Dominicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feud endangers a patient and Jac refuses to play happy families when Bonnie gives her a wedding invitation.

8.00 Lambing Live (S,HD). 2/5. Kate Humble and Adam Henson are in the Scottish Borders with the Dykes as they prepare for the arrival of the first batch of newborn lambs. Continues tomorrow.

8.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S,HD). 2/6. A barrister is killed with a lethal dose of morphine and suspicion falls on an ex-convict who has recently returned to the village where he committed murder years earlier.

8.00 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best of Both Worlds (S,HD). 5/7. Kirstie Allsopp faces an unusual challenge when she helps a couple who are still very attached to the home in southeast London they have just sold.

8.00 Benidorm ER (S,HD). A Gateshead woman arrives at the hospital after coughing up blood the previous day, and receptionist Maureen Santana retires after 24 years on the front desk. Last in the series. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Shetland (S,HD). 3/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Great British Sewing Bee (S,HD). 6/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 Food Prices: The Shocking Truth (S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. Jimmy Doherty looks at how the price of an average food basket has gone up by a quarter in six years, and the UKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trend of importing around half of its food.

9.00 The Mentalist (S,HD). 13/22. Jane joins a commune to investigate the death of a US attorney in Mexico, while Rigsby and Van Pelt try to persuade JJ LaRoche to help them find who is stalking former CBI members.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 Culture Show: Savion Glover â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Happy Feet (S,HD). A profile of the American tap dancer and choreographer. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 ITV News West Country (S); Weather. 10.35 Didier Drogba: Sports Life Stories (S,HD). 7/8. A profile of the Galatasaray and Ivory Coast striker, who is best known for his time at Chelsea, which was marked by some outstanding and controversial moments.

10.00 The Missing (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (S,HD). 8/24. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Keeping Britain Safe 24/7 (S,HD). 4/4. The unsung heroes of summer, from airport safety teams to the army of workers who clear up the mess after the Notting Hill Carnival. Last in the series. 11.35 Swansea: Living on the Streets (S). 3/3. Stevie battles his drug addiction. Last in the series.

11.20 A Very British Renaissance (R,S,HD). 1/3. The era in which Britain embraced cutting-edge art, literature, architecture and science.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). Wes nurses an ailing dingo.

11.00 Secrets of the Vatican (S). The circumstances surrounding the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI.

11.00 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 12/20. An undercover detective is murdered. 11.55 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 13/20. A woman recently acquitted of murder is discovered dead.

12.05 Weatherview (S). 12.10 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: Royal Cousins at War (R,S). 1.20 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (R,S,HD). 4.00 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Exploring the Past: Post War Britain (R,S,HD). 5.00 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Children of World War Two (R,S,HD). 5.30 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; History Hunt (R,S,HD). 5.55 Schools â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Wonders of Nature: Damselfly â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Danger/Safety (R,S,HD).

12.00 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). With guest panellist Rebecca Adlington. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.05 Poker (S). The Pokerstars.com EPT Super High Roller event in London. 1.00 KOTV Boxing Weekly (S). 1.30 Trans World Sport (R,S). 2.25 Beach Volleyball (S). 3.15 Freesports on 4 (R,S). 3.45 Challenge Wanaka Triathlon (R,S). 4.10 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.50 Police 5 (S,HD). 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.15 The Travellersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Secret Cash Stash (R,S). Paul Connolly investigates fraudsters in the Irish traveller community. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S).

â&#x2013;ź

after

% .

+% .&& % &+% 2 , ' ,, /", 000# 0 % +#+% / ) " !('! ( "(, $$ '" ! ! % "/ 2 (" ' "!! , "! % " ! ", ' $'"0 '(& ' ( 2 0 '2% $ ' , 2 1 ' , '" ", "!(* ' " 2( , % ) ) * ) #. $'", , .-. % ' ( ' $ ' $ '("! ( "! ,1" ( ' ! % / , ," 0 ,2% ! (/$$ !,( $$ 2% ' ( ! "! , "!( $$ 2% ( (/$$ '( ' ! $ ! !, " " "' % ! 2"/ ' ($"! , " 2 (/$$ ' ! " "' 2 "!, , 2"/ 1 , " '(*( '0 ( , , 2 " !, ' (,% ( 0 2"/' " "' , ( 2"/ 1 ( ," ' 0 (/ " '( 2 "' % 1 !", 0 2"/' , ( ," ", ' " $ ! ( 1 , "/, 2"/' $ ' (( "!%

Nyvt NypkhÂ&#x20AC;4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

+ $& 1 % " %+ ! -2 % -2! # "" $ % " # " " " " " " " & .% "% . & ĂŹ " $ ĂŹ "# " " $ # " ĂŹ " " # "' " "

ĂŹ " " " ĂŹ " " # " ' # $ ĂŹ # $

NEVER LEFT BRITAIN 9pm, Sky1

Documentary about a Rochdale couple who have never been abroad because of the husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fear of the unknown - until now. Cameras follow Tommy and Jeannie as they head off to Morocco, revealing whether his fear of air travel, overseas crime and high costs will be their undoing.

The stories of three families struggling to cope with the disappearance of a loved one, revealing the extraordinary lengths they go to in an effort to locate them.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 Coronation Street 7.25 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

Sky1

6.00 Rude(ish) Tube 6.25 90210 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00 Made in Chelsea 10.00 New Girl 10.30 Happy Endings 11.00 Charmed 12.00 Rules of Engagement 12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I Met Your Mother 2.00 The Big Bang Theory 3.00 Rules of Engagement 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

THE MISSING 10pm, Channel 4

ON THE FIDDLE 12.50pm, Channel 4

GOLD

6.00 So You Think Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Safe at Work? (R,S). 7.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

GREASE 8pm, E4

A black marketeer is forced to join the army and hatches a series of scams to avoid the front line. Comedy, starring Alfred Lynch and Sean Connery.

6.10 Waiting for God 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.15 Steptoe and Son 7.55 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! 9.00 As Time Goes By 9.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.20 One Foot in the Grave 11.00 Waiting for God 11.40 Last of the Summer Wine 12.20 Just a Minute. 1.00 To the Manor Born 1.40 Steptoe and Son 2.20 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! 3.30 As Time Goes By 4.10 Goodnight Sweetheart. 4.50 One Foot in the Grave 5.30 Last of the Summer Wine

A rebellious teenager falls for a shy girl â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but risks losing her by trying to act cool. Musical set in the 1950s, with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 10.00 The Footballersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Football Show (HD). 11.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 12.00 FL72 Review. 1.00 SPFL Round-Up (HD). 1.30 The Footballersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Football Show (HD). 2.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 3.30 FL72 Review. 4.30 Football Asia (S). 5.00 Premier League Review (HD).

The Vampire Diaries, 9pm

Bodyshockers â&#x20AC;Ś 10.15pm

The Smoke, 10pm

Men Behaving â&#x20AC;Ś 11.35pm

Live Football Special, 7pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 4/30. Londoner Julie Ann chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/23. Raj lusts after a girl at a party. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 18/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4/22.

6.10 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1989. The Trotters go on a day trip to Margate.

6.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). Highlights from La Liga.

7.00 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Harry Hill narrates camcorder calamities. 7.30 Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Been Framed! (R,S). Animal antics and bad hair days.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11/22. Ted and Lily have an argument.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 21/22. Otto breaks up with his new bride. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/24. The family suffers from nightmares.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 2/22. Alanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s girlfriend Melissa moves in. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 3/22. Alan tries to get closer to Judithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s baby.

8.00 Grease (S,HD) (1978). Rebellious American teenager Danny falls for innocent Australian girl Sandy during the summer holidays, but when he later finds out she is a new student at his school, he risks losing 9.00 The Vampire Diaries her love by trying to act (S,HD). 13/22. Caroline cool in front of his persuades Bonnie and friends. Romantic Elena to attend the musical set in the 1950s, Bitter Ball at Whitmore starring John Travolta, College, in the hope of Olivia Newton-John, helping everyone move Stockard Channing, Jeff on after recent traumatic Conaway, Didi Conn and events. the late Sid Caesar. See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 10/24. The attempted murder of a Pearl Harbour veteran at a remembrance ceremony leads McGarrett and the gang to uncover an unsolved killing.

8.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook (S). 3/7. Messrs Corbett and Barker reminisce about sketches including Home Rule for Ruislip, Crossed Lines and the Phantom Raspberry Blower.

9.00 Never Left Britain (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 1/13. Comic view of television. 9.30 Harry Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s TV Burp. 2/13. A dog fights a ghost.

7.00 Live Football Special (HD). Manchester United v Manchester City (Kickoff 7.45pm). Coverage of the Premier League clash from Old Trafford as the Red Devils entertain their local rivals.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.00 Footballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greatest 10.00 The Smoke (R,S,HD). 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.15 Bodyshockers: My (S). Christmas special 5/8. Dennisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reckless (R,S,HD). 2/10. With Teams (S,HD). 2/16. The Tattoo Hell (R,S,HD). from 1990. Rodney behaviour angers Mal, Paloma Faith and Ronan Manchester United team 1/4. Katie Piper explores leaves home after a fight Kev is distracted by the Keating. that won the treble in the craze for body with Cassandra and upcoming anniversary of the 1998/99 season. modification, hearing 10.50 American Pie Presents arranges a date with the Churchill estate fire confessions from people Band Camp (S,HD) 10.30 Revista De La Liga receptionist Tanya in an and the team searches a hoping to reverse what (2005). A teenager with (HD). Scott Minto effort to make his wife rundown building for a they have had done, dreams of directing presents highlights of jealous. little girl. including a man with an porn films is packed off the latest La Liga eyelid tattoo. to a summer band camp, matches in Spain. where he causes even more mischief. Comedy 11.15 The Big Bang Theory 11.35 Men Behaving Badly 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles 11.30 Football Asia (S). Soccer sequel, starring Eugene (S). 5/7. Tony and Gary (R,S,HD). 13/24. Tension (R,S,HD). 9/24. Deeks and news from the Far East. Levy and Tad go to a rave. mounts when the gang Kensi get closer when Hilgenbrinck. Including attends a weekend they go undercover at a FYI Daily. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? science conference. rehab centre. 11.45 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/24. 12.40 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.05 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Alan tries to get closer to Judithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s baby. 1.35 The Vampire Diaries (R,S,HD). Caroline, Bonnie and Elena attend a ball. 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.45 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.15 Rude Tube: WTF?!? (R,S,HD). 2.15 Bodyshockers: My Tattoo Hell (R,S,HD). 3.05 Smallville (R,S,HD). 3.50 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

' (," (, $ 33 % " 4##) !.) !!!! " &( " ' "/'( ' (," #

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). The team investigates a shoot-out at a pawn shop. 1.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hawaii Five0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD).

12.15 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father dies. 12.55 The Royle Family (S). Dave is accused of flirting. 1.30 Men Behaving Badly (S). Tony and Gary go to a rave. 2.00 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s father dies. 2.30 The Royle Family (S). Dave is accused of flirting. 3.00 Close

12.00 Football Special (HD). Manchester United v Manchester City. 1.00 The Footballersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Football Show (HD). The major stories in the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s football news. 2.00 Premier League Review (HD). 3.00 Football Special (HD). 4.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 5.00 Football Special (HD).

BBC3

7.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). Jeremy Clarkson drives the Jaguar F-Type. Last in the series. 8.00 Free Speech (S,HD). Live debate from Tottenhamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Broadwater Farm housing estate. 9.00 Pramface (S,HD). Jamie is feeling stifled by Isabelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clingy demeanour. 9.30 Pramface (S,HD). Laura decides to move on, as Jamie has second thoughts about Isabel. Last in the series. 10.00 Hair (S,HD). The four remaining contestants fight for a place in the final. 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S). 12.30 Pramface (R,S,HD). 1.00 Pramface (R,S,HD). 1.30 Hair (R,S,HD). 2.30 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 3.00 Hair (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 Weird Nature (R). 8.30 Secrets of Bones (HD). 9.00 Fossil Wonderlands: Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hidden Treasures (HD). Investigating the remains of an ancient German volcanic lake. Last in the series. 10.00 The First World War (R). A fresh appraisal of the Western Front. 10.50 Grand Prix: The Killer Years (R). 11.50 Magnificent Machines: The Golden Age of the British Sports Car (R). 12.50 The Somme: Secret Tunnel Wars (R,HD). 1.50 Weird Nature (R). 2.20 Secrets of Bones (R,HD). 2.50 Fossil Wonderlands: Natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hidden Treasures (R).

TUESDAY March 25 ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝â&#x20AC;&#x2122;ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝

Bristol Times ďż˝ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝â&#x20AC;&#x2122;ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝

!- + " ! $ * &

" # '% & $ * ,) & % .

VWXIÂ´QJ 'RUVHW VPRNHG UHG FKHHVH PR]]DUHOOD

Nyvt NypkhÂ&#x20AC;4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

TV PICKS

MASTERCHEF 9pm, BBC1

John Torode and Gregg Wallace return to put more cooks to the test. The first six hopefuls begin by preparing a dish that represents them and showcases their talent.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Heir Hunters (S,HD). 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rip Off Britain: Food (S,HD). 11.45 Watchdog Test House (S,HD). 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 Perfection (R,S). 3.00 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 3.45 More Creatures Great and Small (S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! Trade Secrets (S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (S,HD).

W1A 10pm, BBC2

In the wake of Wingategate, Ian heads north to Salford to appear on Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hour and faces tough questions from Jenni Murray about ageism and sexism regarding the appointment of female presenters. Meanwhile, the Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tastiest Village team discovers at the last minute that the indisposed Clare Balding is unexpectedly available.

BBC2

6.15 Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD). 7.15 Mountain (R,S,HD). 8.15 Sign Zone: Wanted Down Under (R,S). 9.00 Sign Zone: Horizon: The Power of the Placebo (R,S). 10.00 Sign Zone: Food & Drink (R,S). 10.30 Sign Zone: See Hear (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Coast (R,S,HD). 1.05 South Africa Walks (R,S). 1.35 The Nature of Britain (R,S). 2.25 Himalaya with Michael Palin (R,S). 3.25 Cagney & Lacey (R,S). 4.15 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S). 5.55 Party Political Broadcast (S,HD).

BIG STARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LITTLE STAR 8pm, ITV

Stephen Mulhern returns with the show in which children reveal all about their famous relatives. Featuring former sports stars Ben Cohen, Denise Lewis and Neil Ruddock.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). With Carol Vorderman in the hot seat. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet (S,HD). Finding a new home for a dog called Baloo. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

NCIS 9pm, Channel 5

Teenager Lydia Wade manages to escape a gang of masked men trying to abduct her and her friend Rosie, the daughter of a Navy commander. As Lydiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Navy captain father David Wade was shot dead during the attack and her mother is overseas. Ziva offers to look after the girl.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Coach Trip (R,S,HD). 12.30 River Cottage Veg Heroes (R,S,HD). 1.00 Film: Gun Fury (S,HD) (1953). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Four in a Bed (S). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Chinese Food in Minutes (S). 3.20 Film: Murder on the 13th Floor (S,HD) (2012). Thriller, starring Tessa Thompson. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

W1A, 10pm

The Chase, 5pm

Embarrassing Bodies â&#x20AC;Ś 11pm

Castle, 10pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.55 Party Political Broadcast (R,S,HD). By the Liberal Democrats.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.25 Party Political Broadcast (R,S). By the Liberal Democrats. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/25. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Danny is given an unexpected opportunity to keep his secret under wraps.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Maddy enlists Spencer and Sashaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s help to find Harvey. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the live magazine show. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead (S,HD). 23/30. 6.30 The Voice: Louder on Two (S,HD). 3/10. Zoe Ball is joined by another two of the semifinalists and their mentor. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 17&18/30. Mark Stacey and Mark Hales search for valuable items and invest in surprising antiques as they travel from Rutland to Cambridgeshire.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Belle almost blurts out the truth to Dom. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Carla books an appointment at the abortion clinic.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.55 The Political Slot (S). With Liberal Democrat Party President Tim Farron.

7.00 Dangerous Driversâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; School (R,S,HD). The instructors assess a 70-year-old man who habitually speeds. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

Holiday Hit Squad, 8pm

8.00 Holiday Hit Squad (S,HD). 4/4. Joe Crowley checks out a Turkish hotel dubbed â&#x20AC;&#x153;the worst everâ&#x20AC;? and Angela Rippon helps a British teenager trying to sort out cover for her sick grandmother. Last in the series.

8.00 Lambing Live (S,HD). 3/5. Kate Humble discovers that performing ultrasounds on sheep can be a surprisingly dirty business, while Adam Henson goes in search of a rare and elusive wild sheep in Cyprus. Continues tomorrow.

8.00 Big Starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Star (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 Secret Eaters (S). 3/8. Two brides-to-be have their eating habits scrutinised and David Lewis carries out an experiment to discover whether sports fans consume more when their team is losing.

8.00 Killing Spree: Suffolk Strangler (S,HD). New series. Documentary examining the chain of events leading to murders carried out in rapid succession, beginning with the case of Steven Wright. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 MasterChef (S,HD). 1/24. See Choices Above.

9.00 The Greatest Knight: William Marshal (S,HD). Thomas Asbridge examines the life and times of William Marshal, an English soldier and statesman who served four kings of England in the 12th and 13th centuries.

9.00 Law & Order: UK (S,HD). 3/8. Ronnie and Joe find a skeleton that has been hidden inside the boot of a car in the River Thames, and discover the manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death dates back to the 1980s Brixton riots.

9.00 Dead Famous DNA (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 8/24. See Choices Above.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 W1A (S,HD). 2/4. See Choices Above. 10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followed by Weather.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 ITV News West Country (S); Weather. 10.35 Exposure: Inside the Diplomatic Bag (S,HD). Reporter Mark WilliamsThomas goes undercover to investigate the shocking claims of a member of embassy staff.

10.00 First Dates (S). 7/8. Dating show in which singletons meet up with possible partners at a restaurant, having selected them based solely on an internet photograph.

10.00 Castle (S,HD). 14/24. Beckett and Castle investigate when a man who won more than $100million on the Florida lottery is found shot dead, and $100,000 missing from his safe.

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 A Question of Sport (S,HD). 21/36. With Mark Webber, Chris Froome, Annabel Croft and Gary Pallister.

11.05 The Michael McIntyre Chat Show (R,S,HD). 3/6. With Joanna Lumley, Tinie Tempah and Richard Madeley. 11.50 Blandings (R,S,HD). 6/7. Connie plays matchmaker for her new best friend.

11.20 The Restaurant Man (R,S,HD). 6/6. Russell Norman helps two sisters opening a cafe in the Warwickshire village of Dunchurch. Last in the series.

11.35 Harryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s South Pole Heroes (R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two. Prince Harry embarks on his expedition to the South Pole.

11.00 Embarrassing Bodies Down Under (S,HD). 2/8. A woman with baggy excess skin caused by weight loss. 11.55 Random Acts (S,HD). Exploring angles of attack through dance.

11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S,HD). 3/22. A murder victim is found to have been kept as a sex slave. 11.55 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R,S,HD). 6/19.

12.20 Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.20 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD). 12.50 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).

12.30 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Film: Rest in Peace, Mrs Columbo (S) (1990). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk and Ian McShane. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 4.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

12.00 Film: Vicky Cristina Barcelona (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.45 Film: A Good Year (S,HD) (2006). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 3.45 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 4.00 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). Making money on the side. 4.55 Kirstieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vintage Gems (R,S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD).

12.50 True Crimes: The First 72 Hours (R,S). 1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Botched Up Bodies: Brides (R,S,HD). Women whose pre-wedding cosmetic surgery went wrong. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S). 5.35 Michaelaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wild Challenge (R,S).

â&#x2013;ź

after

( " "" /", &&& & ! ! % ( ( "(, $$ '" ! ! % "/ 2 (" ' "!! , "! % " ! ", ' $'"0 '(& ' ( 2 0 '2% $ ' , 2 1 ' , '" ", "!(* ' " 2( , % ) ) * ) #. $'", , .-. % ' ( ' $ ' $ '("! ( "! ,1" ( ' ! % / , ," 0 ,2% ! (/$$ !,( $$ 2% ' ( ! "! , "!( $$ 2% ( (/$$ '( ' ! $ ! !, " " "' % ! 2"/ ' ($"! , " 2 (/$$ ' ! " "' 2 "!, , 2"/ 1 , " '(*( '0 ( , , 2 " !, ' (,% ( 0 2"/' " "' , ( 2"/ 1 ( ," ' 0 (/ " '( 2 "' % 1 !", 0 2"/' , ( ," ", ' " $ ! ( 1 , "/, 2"/' $ ' (( "!%

Nyvt NypkhÂ&#x20AC;4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

! $ ' #( ( ! & ! $ ' " & %! $ " "$! ' !! " ! ! $) " $$ ! $ ) %! " $ %!$ ! $ " $ % !

$ ! " & $" $ $ ĂŹ $%! $! & ĂŹ $ " $ $ ! "$

$ $

$ ! "$ ! $ $ !

ĂŹ % ) $ ' $ ! " !& " $ %!$ ĂŹ & " $ $ " ! ĂŹ " !& " $ %! !

In the first episode of this new series, Scientist Mark Evans sets out to obtain genetic samples from some of history’s most important figures, hoping to extract DNA and shed new light on their lives.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.30 Britain’s Got More Talent: Singers & Dancers (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Britain’s Got More Talent: Singers & Dancers (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of New Jersey (S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

DUCK QUACKS DON’T ECHO 10.05pm, Sky1

Lee Mack hosts the comedy panel game, inviting broadcasting legend Terry Wogan, maths whizz Carol Vorderman and funnyman Jimmy Carr to come up with more amazing facts and trivia. This week they test the ageold argument – are women better than men at remembering directions?

E4 6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 So You Think You’re Safe Eating? (R,S). 7.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

DEAD FAMOUS DNA 9pm, Channel 4

A GOOD YEAR 1.45am, Channel 4

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA 12am, Channel 4

A city trader reassesses his priorities in life when he travels to France to sell off a vineyard he has inherited. Comedy drama, with Russell Crowe.

GOLD 6.15 Waiting for God (S). 6.45 To the Manor Born (S). 7.20 Steptoe and Son (S). 8.00 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 9.10 As Time Goes By (S). 9.50 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.30 One Foot in the Grave (S). 11.10 Waiting for God (S). 11.50 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 12.30 Just a Minute. 1.10 To the Manor Born (S). 1.50 Steptoe and Son (S). 2.30 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00 One Foot in the Grave (S). 5.40 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

Two American friends are drawn into a series of romantic encounters by a seductive Spanish artist. Comedy, starring Javier Bardem.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.00 Spanish Football Gold (HD). 11.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 12.00 Football Special (HD). 1.00 Revista De La Liga (HD). 2.00 The Footballers’ Football Show (HD). 3.00 Super League Backchat (HD). 3.30 Revista De La Liga (HD). 4.30 Football Special (HD). 5.30 Football Asia (S).

Party Wright … 9pm

The Big Bang Theory, 8.30pm Fantastic Four, 8pm

Bring Me … 9pm

Live Football Special, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 10/30. Katherine from Nottingham chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/23. Sheldon gets a job at a diner. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 15/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 20/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 22/22.

6.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 1990. Rodney leaves home after a fight with Cassandra.

6.00 Boots ’n’ All (HD). Super League review.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Holiday horror stories. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Blunders on the beach.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Tony prepares to ask an important question. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12/22.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 7/22. Homer befriends his cool new neighbours. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 22/22. Spoof behind-thescenes special.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 4/22. Alan starts a new job so he can move out. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 5/22. Jake moves into his mother’s house.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 7/24. Daphne reveals the truth about Marshall. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 8/24. Sheldon punishes Leonard for a past mistake.

9.00 Party Wright Around the World (S,HD). 5/6. Mark Wright visits hiphop producer Ski Beatz in New York, before transforming from skinny jean-wearing Essex lad to baggy clothed B-boy.

9.00 The Tomorrow People (S,HD). 12/22. John agrees to keep an eye on Astrid after Hillary makes veiled threats about her, and Stephen suspects there is more to his mum’s new boyfriend Peter than he first thought.

8.00 Fantastic Four (S) (2005). Five astronauts develop superhuman powers during an energy storm in space, but one puts his abilities to evil use. Sci-fi comicbook adventure, with Ioan Gruffudd and Jessica Alba. ●●

10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.00 Rude Tube: WTF?!? (S,HD). 10/12. Reality (R,S,HD). 2/6. Alex Zane programme following a presents 50 of the group of people in internet’s most Essex. extraordinary videos, from rodent 10.50 The Big Reunion 2014 toothbrushes and a (R,S,HD). 7/8. A night Swedish bear dance to out ends in chaos. an unusual method of unblocking a toilet.

8.00 The Green Green Grass (S). A festive edition of the sitcom from 2006.

9.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 3/5. A compilation of the comedy duo’s sketches, featuring some of their most famous routines alongside more obscure material.

7.00 Football’s Greatest Teams (S,HD). 11/16. 7.30 Live Football Special (HD). Liverpool v Sunderland (Kick-off 8.00pm). Coverage of the Premier League clash as the Reds take on the Black Cats at Anfield. Two goals from Luis Suarez helped Liverpool to a 3-1 win when the sides met at the Stadium of Light earlier in the season, and manager Brendan Rodgers will hope his team can continue their push for a top four finish by taking three points from this encounter against Gus Poyet’s relegation threatened outfit.

10.05 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (R,S,HD). 7/8. See Choices Above.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.15 Football Special (HD). (S). 1/8. Del grabs an West Ham United v Hull opportunity to make a City and Liverpool v quick profit and bring Sunderland. Highlights Trotters Independent of the Premier League Traders into the hi-tech matches at Upton Park world of satellite and Anfield respectively. communications.

11.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 4/22. Alan starts a new job so he can move out.

11.00 My Mad Fat Diary (R,S,HD). 6/7. Rae sees things from Chloe’s perspective.

11.05 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 7/24. A man is accused of rape and murder.

11.10 Men Behaving Badly 11.15 Football Gold (S,HD). (S). 6/7. Tony feels Liverpool v Chelsea from depressed. 1997/98. 11.50 Early Doors (S). 3/6. Ken 11.30 Football Asia (S). Soccer holds a quiz night. news from the Far East.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). Jake moves into his mother’s house. 12.50 Party Wright Around the World (R,S,HD). Mark Wright visits New York. 1.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 2.30 Teleshopping. Home shopping.

12.10 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 12.35 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.10 Rude Tube: Love Bytes (R,S,HD). 2.10 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.35 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.55 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.05 Border Invasion USA (R,S,HD). The work of Arizona’s elite police units. 1.05 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.05 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.05 Hawaii Five0 (R,S,HD). 4.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,HD).

12.30 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina, Patsy and Saffy go to Morocco. 1.10 Men Behaving Badly (S). Tony feels depressed. 1.40 Early Doors (S). Ken holds a quiz night. 2.10 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina, Patsy and Saffy go to Morocco. 3.00 Close

BBC3

7.00 Total Wipeout (R,S). A rock singer, a police officer and an air sea rescue helicopter pilot compete. 8.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). A tattoo artist plans his wedding. 9.00 Kris: Dying to Live (S,HD). Following Kris Hallenga as she promotes her breast cancer charity. 10.00 Bad Education Mr Fraser organises a guest speaker for Drugs Awareness Day. (R,S,HD). 10.30 Impractical Jokers (S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S). 12.30 Hair (R,S,HD). 1.30 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 2.00 Kris: Dying to Live (R,S,HD). 3.00 Bad Education (R,S,HD). 3.30 Pramface (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 8.00 What Do Artists Do All Day? (HD). 8.30 Secret Knowledge: Hogarth – One Man and His Pug (HD). 9.00 Could We Survive a Mega-Tsunami? (R,HD). 10.00 David Attenborough’s First Life (R,HD). 11.00 Parks and Recreation (HD). 11.20 Parks and Recreation (HD). 11.45 The Walshes (R,HD). 12.15 Shipwrecks: Britain’s Sunken History (R,HD). 1.15 Great British Railway Journeys (R,HD). 1.45 Secret Knowledge: Hogarth – One Man and His Pug (R,HD). 2.15 What Do Artists Do All Day? (R,HD). 2.45 Could We Survive a Mega-Tsunami? (R,HD).

WEDNESDAY March 26 ��’� ��

12.00 What’s the Story? (HD). Discussion show focusing on recent sports developments. 1.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). Partick Thistle v Celtic. 2.00 Football Special (HD). 3.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 4.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 5.00 Football Special (HD).

Business

Week �

�� ’� ��

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

PERSON OF INTEREST 10pm, Channel 5

The story of how John Wildey was forced to assume the controls of a small aircraft when his friend and pilot collapsed in the cockpit 1,500ft in the air.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 Coronation Street 6.55 You’ve Been Framed! 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 8.30 Dinner Date 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 10.30 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Coronation Street 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 The Real Housewives of New Jersey 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker

The crime drama returns after a mid-series break. The Machine flags up the social security number of Abby Monroe, who previously worked for a charity helping veterans returning from active duty overseas. After apparently being accused of stealing, she was dismissed – but she tells Reese a different story.

E4 6.00 Switched 6.25 90210 7.10 Ugly Betty 8.00 Charmed 9.00 Made in Chelsea 10.00 New Girl 10.30 Happy Endings 11.00 Charmed 12.00 Rules of Engagement 12.30 Hollyoaks 1.00 How I Met Your Mother 2.00 The Big Bang Theory 3.00 Rules of Engagement 4.00 New Girl 4.30 Happy Endings 5.00 How I Met Your Mother

Sky1

FILM PICKS

MAYDAY: THE PASSENGER WHO LANDED A PLANE 9pm, Channel 4

THE CROSS OF LORRAINE 12.50pm, Channel 4

French soldiers promised their freedom if they surrender in the early days of the German occupation are instead sent to a brutal prison camp. While some collaborate with their captors, one refuses to give up, inspiring the others to continue the fight. Second World War drama, directed by Tay Garnett, starring Gene Kelly, Jean-Pierre Aumont, Cedric Hardwicke, Richard Whorf, Joseph Calleia, Peter Lorre, Hume Cronyn and William Roy.

GOLD

6.00 UK Border Force (R,S,HD). 7.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

Sky Sports 1

6.10 Waiting for God 6.40 To the Manor Born 7.10 Steptoe and Son 7.50 ’Allo ’Allo! 9.00 As Time Goes By 9.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.20 One Foot in the Grave 11.00 Waiting for God 11.40 Last of the Summer Wine 1.00 To the Manor Born 1.40 Steptoe and Son 2.20 ’Allo ’Allo! 3.30 As Time Goes By 4.10 Goodnight Sweetheart. 4.50 One Foot in the Grave 5.30 Last of the Summer Wine

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD). 10.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 11.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 12.00 Football Special (HD). 1.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 2.00 What’s the Story? (HD). 3.00 Football Special (HD). 4.00 Football Gold (S). 4.30 Premier League World (S,HD). 5.00 FL72 Preview.

Celebrity Juice …10.30pm

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 9pm

Arrow, 8pm

You, Me & Them, 8pm

Live Super League, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 15/30. Tony from Leeds chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 16/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 17/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 22/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 9/22.

6.10 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 7/10. 6.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1/8.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxing magazine.

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Teenage traumas and practical jokes. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Potty pensioners and dodgy drivers.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 13/22. Ted struggles to fire his former boss.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22. With the voice of Frances McDormand. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 16/22. Moe undergoes plastic surgery.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 6/22. Charlie kicks Alan out. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 7/22. Charlie and Chelsea set a date for their wedding.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24. The group spends the Thanksgiving holiday at Mrs Wolowitz’s house. 8.30 How I Met Your Mother (S,HD). 8/24.

8.00 Arrow (S,HD). 15/23. Oliver discovers that Slade has been spotted in Starling City – and disturbingly, his friendturned-enemy has decided to visit the rest of his family.

8.00 You, Me & Them (S). 3/6. Alan gets in the way of Ed’s plans for domestic bliss. 8.40 Outnumbered (S). 6/6.

9.00 The Big Reunion 2014 (S,HD). 8/8. The pop bands step out on stage in front of thousands of fans, and for newly formed group 5th Story it will be their debut performance. Last in the series.

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 11/22. Peralta is put in charge of Holt’s security after he receives death threats. 9.30 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 4/6. The gang visits a university.

9.00 The Smoke (S,HD). 6/8. The anniversary of the Churchill estate fire proves hectic for the watch, with Mal announcing his transfer and new information coming to light that could lead Kev to the truth.

9.20 Outnumbered (S). 3/7. Sue and Pete ban TV and computers for a day.

7.00 Super League Superstars (HD). 7.30 Live Super League (HD). London Broncos v Castleford Tigers (Kickoff 8.00pm). Eddie Hemmings and Mike Stephenson present coverage of the fixture at the Hive.

10.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.15 FL72 Preview. A look 10.00 Revolution (R,S,HD). 10.30 Celebrity Juice: The 10.00 Fresh Meat (R,S,HD). (S). 2/8. An audition 13/20. Monroe leads Big Reunion Special ahead to the latest 4/8. JP and Kingsley sign gives Raquel the chance Charlie and Connor on a (S,HD). 3/10. Featuring round of fixtures in the up to a medical trial. of a lifetime – and risky mission to find some of the show’s stars. 10.55 Rude Tube: Love Bytes Championship, League perhaps more mercenaries in Las Vegas One and League Two. (R,S,HD). 5/8. Alex Zane importantly, an excuse and Neville accepts a counts down through 50 to get out of Nelson deadly assignment after internet clips of Mandela House. a meeting with the US romantic, raunchy and president. weird characters. 11.20 Dads (S,HD). 8/19. Eli questions his and Warner’s friendship. 11.50 Mom (R,S,HD). 14/22. Christy and Bonnie discover hurtful secrets about each other. 12.20 Mom (R,S,HD). Christy attempts to bond with her father. 12.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.15 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.45 Dads (R,S,HD). 2.10 James Arthur: The Hot Desk (R,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 Revenge (R,S,HD). 12.55 My Mad Fat Diary (R,S,HD). 2.00 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.25 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.45 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 3.05 Fresh Meat (R,S,HD). 3.50 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). 9/24. Sam investigates al-Qaeda activity in Sudan.

11.10 Men Behaving Badly 11.15 Super League Gold. (S). 7/7. Deborah and The 1999 Grand Final. Dorothy take a weekend 11.30 Super League Gold. break. The 1998 Grand Final. 11.50 Early Doors (S). 4/6. 11.45 Super League Gold. Gossip is rife about Ken’s The 1999 Grand Final. date with Tanya.

12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). Deeks shoots and kills an unarmed man. 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.00 Border Invasion USA (R,S,HD). 4.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S,HD). 5.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD).

12.30 You, Me & Them (S). Alan gets in the way of Ed’s plans for domestic bliss. 1.10 Outnumbered (S). Pete and Sue hold a dinner party. 1.40 Men Behaving Badly (S). Deborah and Dorothy take a weekend break. 2.10 Early Doors (S). Gossip is rife about Ken’s date with Tanya. 3.00 Close

12.00 Super League (HD). London Broncos v Castleford Tigers. 1.00 Premier League Darts (HD). Highlights of the eighth round of the season, staged at the O2 in Dublin. 4.30 ATP Tour Uncovered (HD). Tennis news. 5.00 Super League (HD). London Broncos v Castleford Tigers.

BBC3

7.00 Don’t Tell the Bride (R,S). Vu Algamaz tries to design a wedding that lives up to his fiancee’s expectations. 8.00 Hair (R,S,HD). The four remaining contestants fight for a place in the final. 9.00 Junior Paramedics (S,HD). A teenager is trapped under a car. 10.00 Bluestone 42 (S,HD). Lt Colonel persuades Towerblock to modify his vehicle. 10.30 Bluestone 42 (S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S). 12.30 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 1.00 Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD). 1.30 Junior Paramedics (R,S,HD). 2.30 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 3.00 Junior Paramedics (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 8.00 Ever Decreasing Circles (R). 8.30 Brushing Up On – Street Furniture. A look at street furniture. 9.00 How to Get Ahead: At Versailles (HD). The flamboyant court of French monarch Louis XIV. Last in the series. 10.00 The Walshes (HD). 10.30 Horizon: Why Can’t We Predict Earthquakes? (R,HD). 11.30 Timewatch: Stonehenge (R,HD). 12.25 The Other Pompeii: Life and Death in Herculaneum (R,HD). 1.25 Top of the Pops: 1979 (R). 2.00 Ever Decreasing Circles (R). 2.30 The Walshes (R,HD). 3.00 How to Get Ahead: At Versailles (R).

THURSDAY March 27 ��’� ��

ignition

�� ’� ��

The biggest and best shopping destination in the South West is right on your doorstep.

www.bristolshoppingquarter.co.uk

bristolshopping

bristolshopping Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

AN AUDIENCE WITH BRUCE FORSYTH 9pm, Channel 5

Team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Holly Willoughby, Henning Wehn, Alan Davies, Nick Helm, Joe Wilkinson and Roisin Conaty. Jimmy Carr hosts.

ITV2

6.00 Union J: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.15 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.50 The Xtra Factor: Boys All-Time Best and Worst (R,S). 1.50 Film: Peter Pan (S,HD) (2003). ●●● 4.00 Film: Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (S,HD) (1977). Sci-fi adventure, with Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford. ●●●●●

The versatile veteran entertainer reveals his many talents in a feast of song, dance and humour recorded in 1997 in front of a VIP audience, who get the chance to quiz him about his remarkable career. Among those who join him on stage are Ian Wright, Ken Morley, Jimmy Hill and Matthew Pinsent.

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.10 Charmed (R,S). 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 9.00 Suburgatory (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 1.40 Come Dine with Me: Made in Chelsea Special (R,S,HD). 2.40 Lost and Found (R,S,HD). 3.10 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 3.40 Film: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (S,HD) (2009). ●● 5.25 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power. 7.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9.30 Rebecca Front’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 10.00 WWE Superstars (R). 11.00 WWE: Experience. 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle (R,S,HD). 2.00 Film: The Karate Kid (HD) (1984). Martial arts drama, starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. ●●● 4.30 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 5.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

FILM PICKS

8 OUT OF 10 CATS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 8pm, Channel 4

THE BREAK-UP 10.15pm, ITV

GOLD

6.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 8.00 Open All Hours (S). 8.40 Porridge (S). 9.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 10.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 12.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). The Trotters lose their millions. Christmas special from 2001. 1.40 You, Me & Them (S). 2.20 Open All Hours (S). 3.00 Porridge (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Shaun of the Dead, 9pm

Die Hard 2, 9pm

Mad Dogs: The Finale, 9pm

You, Me & Them, 10.20pm

6.30 Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (S,HD) (1980). Sci-fi adventure sequel, with Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford. ●●●●●

6.25 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 23/24. Part one of two. Lily goes into labour.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 14/22. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 17/22. Homer must save his marriage.

6.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2002. The Trotters go to France.

7.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12/24. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 18/22. Homer is recruited to be a deacon by the trendy new reverend. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 16/22.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/24. Leonard’s car is stolen. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/24. Sheldon is forced to work with Kripke.

8.00 Moonfleet (S,HD). 2/2. John and Elzevir set sail for a new life in France, until they realise Blackbeard’s locket could lead them to the diamond.

8.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. 4/7. More of the duo’s favourite moments, including the Mastermind sketch and more of the Phantom Raspberry Blower’s nefarious deeds.

9.00 Die Hard 2 (S,HD) (1990). A lone cop battles terrorists who have taken over an airport to force the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis and Bonnie Bedelia. ●●●

9.00 Mad Dogs: The Finale (HD). 2/2. The last ever episode sees the lads try to turn their lives around with a plan to pocket two million euros each. Max Beesley, Philip Glenister, John Simm and Marc Warren star.

9.00 Miranda (S). 4/6. A hotel stay adds excitement to Miranda’s life. 9.40 Not Going Out (S). 4/8. Lee and Tim babysit Guy’s grandson.

9.00 Shaun of the Dead (S,HD) (2004). An aimless man decides to get his life back on track just as zombies start to roam the streets of London to feast on the living. Comedy horror, with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

SHIRLEY VALENTINE 11.05pm, Channel 5

A couple’s relationship comes to an end, but neither wants to give up their home. Comedy drama, starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.

10.00 A League of Their Own: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 13/13. Festive edition of the sports-based comedy quiz, with guests Ricky Hatton and Ruth Jones. Presented by James Corden.

10.20 You, Me & Them (S). 4/6. Ed and Lauren attend a funeral.

A housewife is freed from her humdrum existence when a Greek holiday offers her the chance to experience the good life. Comedy, starring Pauline Collins.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 7.30 Game Changers (HD). 8.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). A review of yesterday’s football action. 12.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Newcastle United v Arsenal (Kick-off 1.30pm). 3.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Chelsea v Liverpool (Kick-off 4.00pm).

Live Super Sunday, 3.30pm

7.00 Live World PDC Darts Championship (HD). Coverage of the concluding two quarterfinals at the Alexandra Palace in London, where the line-up for the semifinals will be decided.

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who: The Ultimate Guide (R,S,HD). An in-depth look at the sci-fi show. 9.00 Top Gear Polar Special (R,S,HD). A land race from Canada to the North Pole. 10.05 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.35 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 11.05 Family Guy (R,S). Double-length episode. Peter tells a story spoofing Star Wars. 11.50 Starship Troopers (S) (1997). Sci-fi adventure, starring Casper Van Dien. ●●●● 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.15 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.45 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.30 Bluestone 42 Christmas Special (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 Snow Babies (R,HD). Young animals surviving in some of the coldest places on Earth. 8.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (HD). How diversity in the natural world has come from genetic mutation. 9.00 Scott of the Antarctic (1948). Fact-based drama, starring John Mills. ●●●● 10.45 Endeavour: Everest Without Oxygen (HD). 11.35 Nasa – Triumph and Tragedy (R). Part one of two. America’s leading role in the space race. 12.35 The High Art of the Low Countries (R,HD). 1.35 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (R,HD). 2.35 The Bridge (R,HD).

SUNDAY 10.30 Darts Gold (HD). Phil Taylor v Michael van Gerwen. 10.45 Darts Gold (HD). Phil Taylor v Wayne Mardle.

11.00 Pitch Black (S,HD) (2000). Sci-fi horror, starring Vin Diesel and Radha Mitchell. ●●●

11.25 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/23. Sheldon becomes obsessed with gift-giving etiquette. 11.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/23.

11.00 Banshee (R,S). 4/10. Hood steals a painting from a museum in Harrisburg.

11.00 Gimme Gimme 11.00 Football Special (HD). Gimme (S). 4/6. Linda Chelsea v Liverpool and plans Tom’s 30th Newcastle United v birthday. Arsenal. 11.40 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 8/8. Patsy is rushed to hospital.

1.05 MC Hammer’s Big Shot Academy (R,S,HD). 2.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 3.15 Film: No Reservations (S,HD) (2007). ●●● 5.00 Girlfriends (R,S,HD). 5.50 Conor Maynard: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD).

12.25 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2013 (R,S,HD). Alex Zane presents 100 memorable internet clips. 2.30 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). Cleveland and his son celebrate Black History Month. 2.55 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.15 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus.

12.15 An Idiot Abroad 3 (R,S,HD). 1.15 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2.15 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 3.30 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 4.00 Alison Steadman’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 Joanna Lumley’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 5.00 Luton Airport (R,S).

12.20 Miranda (S). A hotel stay adds excitement to Miranda’s life. 1.00 Not Going Out (S). Lee and Tim babysit Guy’s grandson. 1.30 Gimme Gimme Gimme (S). Linda plans Tom’s 30th birthday. 2.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. Lucie Silvas guests. 2.50 Rex the Runt. 3.00 Close

December

12.30 Football. Action from recent matches. 1.00 World PDC Darts Championship (HD). The concluding two quarter-finals. 4.30 Darts Gold (HD). Phil Taylor v Michael van Gerwen. 4.45 Darts Gold (HD). 5.00 Darts Gold (HD). 5.15 Darts Gold (HD). 5.30 Darts Gold (HD). 5.45 Darts Gold (HD).

bristol@stablepizza.com | www.stablepizza.com Canon’s Road, Harbourside, Bristol, BS1 5UH 0117 927 9999

�OlLow uS �� Oo� fOr AlL ��e ��T��T fA��O�.�Om/sT��Le��TaUr��S ��Ta�� sT��LePizZA

Tuck in Tuesday eV�� UeSd�� 5 - 9.30pM

Any pizza or pie with a side salad and drink for just £10. *Select half pint, glass of house wine or a soft drink.

Nyvt Nypkh 4 Lljltily :?4 :89;

TV PICKS

JOANNA LUMLEY MEETS WILL.I.AM 10.35pm, BBC1

EDGE OF HEAVEN 9pm, ITV

Alfie contemplates how to reveal his infidelity to Michelle without destroying their relationship â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but Donkey and Spanner urge him to keep it secret. Judy wonders how to tell Tandeep her true age, while Ann-Marie hears of a front-line opportunity in Afghanistan but is unsure if she can turn her back on her family.

Joanna Lumley travels to California to spend four days with the Black Eyed Peas founder and Voice UK coach.

BBC1

BBC2

7.35 Animal Park (R,S). 8.20 Sign Zone (R,S). 9.05 Sign Zone (R,S). 10.05 Sign Zone (R,S). 10.35 The Travel Show (S,HD). 11.00 BBC News (S,HD). 11.30 BBC World News (S,HD). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Coast (R,S,HD). 1.05 South Africa Walks (R,S). 1.35 The Nature of Britain (R,S). 2.25 Himalaya with Michael Palin (R,S). 3.25 Cagney & Lacey (R,S). 4.15 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Allo! (R,S). 5.15 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (S,HD).

A VERY BRITISH RENAISSANCE 9.30pm, BBC2

ICE ROAD TRUCKERS 8pm, Channel 5

The development of artistic ideas in Elizabethan England during an age obsessed with secrets, with poets writing in code and artworks and buildings concealing hidden messages.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00 Auf Wiedersehen My Pet (S,HD). 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

Alex Debogorski sets out to deliver toxic chemicals to the Cantung tungsten mine in the Northwest Territories, while Jack Jesseeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s return to the fray is hampered. Ronald â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Porkchopâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Mangum gets his chance to drive solo on the Dalton Highway, while Austin Wheeler is continuing his slow journey north.

Channel 4

6.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 6.45 Will & Grace (R,S). 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (R,S,HD). 11.00 Phil: Secret Agent Down Under (R,S,HD). 12.00 Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S). 12.05 Coach Trip (R,S,HD). 12.35 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD). 12.50 Film: The Belles of St Trinianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (S) (1954). â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 2.40 Countdown (S,HD). 3.30 Deal or No Deal (S,HD). 4.30 Four in a Bed (S). 5.00 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff (HD). 11.10 Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). 12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15 My Spiral into Debt Hell (R,S,HD). Four people who have suffered financial disaster. 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). 3.15 Film: Loveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Resounding Courage (S) (2011). Western, starring Wes Brown. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

Revenge of the Egghead, 6pm

Coronation Street, 7.30pm

Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD, 8pm

NCIS: Los Angeles, 10pm

â&#x2013;ź

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather. 6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/25. Homer puts on weight. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). A visit from the police derails Diane and Tonyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impromptu wedding.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Roo and Harvey reach a decision about their marriage. 6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hosted by Chris Evans and Alex Jones. 7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD). With Mark Webber. Followed by BBC News; Regional News.

6.00 Revenge of the Egghead (S,HD). 25/30. Spin-off from the popular quiz, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 The Voice: Louder on Two (S,HD). 5/10. 7.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 21&22/30. Thomas Plant and James Lewis set off on a road trip through the Highlands and Lowlands of Scotland.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Belle and Zak head to the police station. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Gary decides to break into Phelanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house and steal the incriminating DVD.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). Jason Bradbury teams up with film director Philip Bloom to test three editing packages. Followed by 5 News Update.

â&#x2013;ź

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 8pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Mick visits his fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flat after an SOS call. 8.30 MasterChef (S,HD). 3/24. The first four quarter-finalists recreate John Torodeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s jungle curry.

8.00 Lambing Live (S,HD). 5/5. Kate Humble learns about the dedication and attention to detail it takes to raise lambs for their meat, while Adam Henson looks at the future of breeding. Last in the series.

8.00 Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages (S,HD). 7/8. First-year trainee Graham trades drum beats for heartbeats. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Stella tells Leanne she is thinking of leaving.

8.00 Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Agents of SHIELD (S,HD). 13/22. Coulson and the teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s search for the Clairvoyant sees them boarding a mystery train that seems to be headed for certain destruction. Clark Gregg stars in the fantasy adventure.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). See Choices Above. Followed by 5 News at 9.

â&#x2013;ź

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 New Tricks (R,S). 3/10. Fresh DNA tests on an unidentified body found in 1996 reveal the victim to be an Albanian police interpreter, whose last assignment was translating for a witness in a murder trial.

9.00 Gardenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; World (S,HD). 4/31. Monty Don offers advice on dahlias. 9.30 A Very British Renaissance (S,HD). 2/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Edge of Heaven (S,HD). 6/6. See Choices Above.

9.00 Gogglebox (S). 4/12. Capturing viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; instant reactions and lively discussions on what they are watching on TV from the comfort of their own sofas. Narrated by Caroline Aherne.

9.00 Mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle (R,S,HD). Documentary investigating the reasons behind the reported disappearances of many boats and aeroplanes in the area of the north Atlantic between Florida, Puerto Rico and Bermuda.

â&#x2013;ź

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

â&#x2013;ź

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 Joanna Lumley Meets Will.i.am (S,HD). See Choices Above.

11.35 Would I Lie to You? (R,S,HD). 8/9. With Jimmy Carr, Griff Rhys Jones, Dave Myers and Susanna Reid.

11.00 Weather (S). 11.05 Thirteen Days (S,HD) (2000). Fact-based political drama, starring Kevin Costner. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

12.05 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. The repercussions of the verdict are felt far and wide. 2.30 Weatherview (S). 2.35 BBC News (S,HD).

1.20 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S,HD). With singer Mick Hucknall and Simon Wolfson, chief executive of Next. 2.20 Sign Zone: Wild Brazil (R,S). 3.20 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes. 4.55 Live Formula 1 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Malaysian Grand Prix: Third Practice (S,HD). Coverage from the Sepang International Circuit.

â&#x2013;ź

after

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 ITV News West Country (S); Weather. 10.35 Scent of a Woman (S,HD) (1992). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?

1.25 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00 Film: The Majestic (S,HD) (2001). Drama, starring Jim Carrey. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 5.30 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (S,HD). 5/24. The detectives look into the murder of a defence contractor. 10.55 Longmire (R,S,HD). 1/10. Crime drama, starring Robert Taylor.

11.05 8 Out of 10 Cats (R,S). 6/9. With Dr Christian Jessen, Lethal Bizzle, Joe Wilkinson and Aisling Bea. 11.50 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD). 11/22. Peralta is put in charge of Holtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s security.

11.55 Access. Showbiz news and gossip.

12.20 Film: Zoolander (S,HD) (2001). See Choices Above. â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;?â&#x2014;? 1.50 Random Acts (S). 1.55 The Simpsons (R,S). 2.20 Happy Endings (S,HD). 2.40 Happy Endings (S,HD). 3.00 Franklin & Bash (S,HD). 3.45 The Good Wife (R,S,HD). 4.30 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD). 4.50 Deal or No Deal (R,S,HD). 5.45 The Hoobs (R,S).

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Slaughter on the Sunset Strip (R,S,HD). Psychological profiles of Douglas Clark and Carol Bundy. 4.00 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A neglected seaside bungalow in Essex. 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S). A couple discuss their homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unsettling atmosphere. 5.10 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S). 5.35 Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Quest (R,S).

Â&#x152;x:Â&#x152;O[ Ă&#x152;Â?ÂžÂŻ xÂ?Â&#x2030;[Â&#x17E;Â&#x17E;Â&#x17E;

%%% " $

Ă&#x160;zÂşx H[:ÂžÂşzhÂžÂ&#x192;Â&#x192;Ă&#x152; x:Â&#x152;VOÂŻ:hÂş[V hÂžÂŻÂ&#x152;zÂşÂžÂŻ[T Âş:zÂ&#x192;Â?ÂŻ[V ÂşÂ? Ă&#x152;Â?ÂžÂŻ zÂ&#x152;VzĂ&#x2030;zVÂž:Â&#x192; Â˛ÂşĂ&#x152;Â&#x192;[Â&#x17E;

" " " "

" #& #& $ & #& #&

Ă?`Ă?Ă? Ă?kÂ&#x2013; `ÂťÂ?Ă? 78

10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man (S). 1/15. See Choices Above.

Nyvt NypkhÂ&#x20AC;4 Uhyjo :94 :89<

THE BIG BANG THEORY 8.30pm, E4

The host returns for another slice of light-hearted chat, comic features and music. His guests include musician Gary Barlow, who performs his new single and title track of his latest album.

Sheldon is dismayed when the group spends the Thanksgiving holiday at Mrs Wolowitz’s house, but hits it off with Bernadette’s father. Meanwhile, Penny realises she must deal with a mistake from her past when she and Leonard have an argument. Comedy, starring Jim Parsons and Kaley Cuoco.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Real Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The Real Housewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD). 11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The Real Housewives of New Jersey (S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 11.00 Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 4.30 Happy Endings (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 UK Border Force (R,S,HD). 7.00 Airline USA (R,S,HD). 8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S). 3.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD). 4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

ALAN CARR: CHATTY MAN 10pm, Channel 4

SCENT OF A WOMAN 10.35pm, ITV

ZOOLANDER 12.20am, Channel 4

A blind former soldier pays a timid college student to accompany him on a wild weekend after which he plans to kill himself. Comedy drama, starring Al Pacino.

GOLD 6.15 Waiting for God (S). 6.45 To the Manor Born (S). 7.15 Steptoe and Son (S). 7.55 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 9.05 As Time Goes By (S). 9.45 Goodnight Sweetheart. 10.25 One Foot in the Grave (S). 11.05 Waiting for God (S). 11.45 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 1.05 To the Manor Born (S). 1.40 Steptoe and Son (S). 2.20 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.30 As Time Goes By (S). 4.10 Goodnight Sweetheart. 4.50 One Foot in the Grave (S). 5.30 Last of the Summer Wine (S).

A dim male model’s career starts to decline and he fails to realise he is a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage. Ben Stiller stars.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 Masters Tennis (HD). 10.00 FL72 Preview. 11.00 Football Gold (S). 11.30 Premier League World (S,HD). 12.00 Premier League Darts (HD). Highlights of the eighth round of the season, staged at the O2 in Dublin. 3.30 Darts Gold (S,HD). 4.00 The Rugby Club (HD). 5.00 Ringside (HD).

Take Me Out, 11.10pm

Lake Placid, 9pm

Stella, 9pm

Calendar Girls, 9pm

Live Super League, 7.30pm

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 11/30. Lindsey from Merseyside chooses three blind dates.

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 18/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 19/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 24/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 10/22.

6.10 Last of the Summer Wine (S). 9/10. 6.50 Only Fools and Horses (S). 2/8. Raquel is offered an audition.

6.00 Champions League Weekly (HD). Quarterfinal preview. 6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Camcorder calamities, with Harry Hill. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Finn worries Sinead might be to blame for Katy’s declining health. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 14/22.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 3/22. Marge is forced to replace the family car. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/22. The family goes on the run.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 8/22. Chelsea’s college room-mate comes to stay. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). 9/22. Alan tries to solve his hair-loss problem.

8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 8/24. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/22. Homer and Bart transform the fortunes of a losing racehorse. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 7/24. A family trip to the school fair proves eventful.

9.00 Lake Placid (S,HD) 9.00 Stella (S,HD). 10/10. The 9.00 The Bourne (1999). Four parties nurse is dealt another Supremacy (S,HD) investigating a blow when Michael (2004). The amnesiac mysterious death by a decides to get back with assassin is framed for a lake discover a manJan. Karl returns for the botched CIA operation eating 30ft crocodile wedding – and is none and faces a fight for with an insatiable too pleased to hear survival as he tries to appetite. Comedy horror, about Emma and Marcus. uncover his past. Action starring Bill Pullman and Last in the series. thriller sequel, with Matt Bridget Fonda. ●●● Damon and Brian Cox. Including FYI Daily. 10.00 Duck Quacks Don’t 10.40 Rude Tube: Ultimate ●●●● Echo (S,HD). 8/8. Stunts (R,S,HD). 6/8. Highlights of the Alex Zane showcases 50 comedy panel game in of the most audacious which Lee Mack and his stunt videos available guests try to find the on the internet, answers to all manner of including a home-made questions. Last in the Russian bungee and a series. snowboard train jump.

8.00 Bring Me Morecambe & Wise (S). 3/5. A compilation of the comedy duo’s sketches, featuring some of their most famous routines alongside more obscure material. 9.00 Calendar Girls (2003). Members of a Yorkshire branch of the Women’s Institute cause controversy when they pose nude for a charity calendar. Fact-based comedy drama, with Helen Mirren and Julie Walters. ●●●●

7.30 Live Super League (HD). St Helens v Leeds Rhinos (Kick-off 8.00pm). Eddie Hemmings and Mike Stephenson present coverage of the topflight game at Langtree Park. Both sides have enjoyed fantastic starts to the new campaign by winning their opening three matches, and Saints will be out to avenge their 11-10 Preliminary semi-final play-off defeat to the Rhinos last October, when a Danny McGuire drop goal was the only difference between the teams.

10.15 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). John Fendley and Paul Merson present a discussion on key fantasy football issues, as well as the weekend’s Premier League matches.

11.10 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 11.50 The Midnight Beast 7/10. A fitness fanatic, a (R,S,HD). 5/6. Dru signs builder, a BMX the band to a major champion and a student record label. take part.

11.20 Men Behaving Badly 11.00 Moone Boy (R,S,HD). (S). 1/6. Dorothy and 6/6. Fidelma’s baby puts Gary decide to get in an early appearance – married. on her wedding day. Last in the series. 11.30 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 11/24.

11.15 Premier League Preview (HD). The weekend’s fixtures. 11.45 Champions League Weekly (HD). Quarterfinal preview.

12.25 Two and a Half Men (R,S,HD). Chelsea’s college roommate comes to stay. 12.55 Two and a Half Men (S,HD). 1.25 Mom (R,S,HD). 1.50 Mom (R,S,HD). 2.10 Kings of Leon: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 2.20 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.30 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD). Nell goes undercover at the Department of Defence. 1.30 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.20 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 3.10 Border Invasion USA (R,S,HD). 4.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (R,S). 5.00 Inside RAF Brize Norton (R,S,HD).

12.15 Super League (HD). 1.15 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.15 Premier League Preview (HD). 2.45 Football Gold (S,HD). 3.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 4.00 The Rugby Club (HD). 5.00 Premier League Preview (HD). 5.30 Champions League Weekly (HD).

12.25 Little Box of Horrors (R,S). 12.50 Balls of Steel Australia (R,S). 1.35 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 1.55 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.20 Bob’s Burgers (R,S,HD). 2.40 Rude Tube: Ultimate Stunts (R,S,HD). 3.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S,HD). 4.25 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 Early Doors (S). Rumours circulate about Ken quitting. 12.40 Absolutely Fabulous (S). Edina has a cash crisis. 1.20 Men Behaving Badly (S). Dorothy and Gary decide to get married. 1.55 Early Doors (S). 2.25 The Black Adder (S). Edmund meets an eligible princess. 3.00 Close

q« ¢óíĘī ßĶğī ¢ó ńØí¢óńğĉĉĉ

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes – Not in 3D (R,S). 7.25 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). The Time Lord investigates a series of disappearances. 8.10 Doctor Who (R,S,HD). Part one of two. The Time Lord investigates a mysterious prison. 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.00 Life and Death Row (R,S,HD). The trial of Guy Heinze Jr. 11.15 Family Guy (R,S). 12.00 American Dad! (R,S). 12.25 American Dad! (R,S). 12.45 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 1.15 Pramface (R,S,HD). 1.45 Pramface (R,S,HD). 2.15 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.45 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 3.15 Kerry (R,S,HD). 3.30 Bluestone 42 (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today (HD); Weather. 7.30 Darcey Bussell Dances Hollywood (R,HD). The former Royal Ballet star celebrates classic dance musicals, reinterpreting four favourite Hollywood routines and revealing the secrets behind their enduring appeal. 9.00 Robert Plant: By Myself (R). The story of the former Led Zeppelin frontman’s varied career. 10.00 The Genius of Bert Jansch: Folk, Blues & Beyond. 11.30 Fleetwood Mac – Don’t Stop (R). 12.30 BBC Four Sessions: Bert Jansch (R). 1.30 Robert Plant: By Myself (R). 2.30 The Genius of Bert Jansch: Folk, Blues & Beyond (R).

FRIDAY March 28 ��’� ��

Homes &Living �� ’� ��

ńńńĉ ěńØí¢óńğĉ óĉĶà

],Fq[FF@ eíØī ĥ ěØ¢Ë« [¢ .í¢ ğī :ØíËğńóó¢ ]úÅ Èa a < Ōúúģ îŌĥúú°Ō ([ W,FB Ō°ŌŌ Ōúĭĭúĳĳ Nyvt Nypkh 4 Uhyjo :94 :89<