The Weekend 27 December 2013 by Weekend-BristolPost

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FROM FRIDAY, DECEM DECEMBER DECE MBE BER R 27, 2013 ISSUE ISSUE 84

GERTCHA LUSH Chas and Dave. Back to their roots and back in Bristol. YOUR NEW YEAR COURSES GUIDE

YOUR NEW YEAR FILM & TV GUIDE

GET THE PERFECT PARTY LOOK

REINVENTING BRISTOL’S LOGO

IDEAS

If you see one TV programme

Death

defying

If you’re looking for inspiration on how to make the most of your free time... this is the place to start

Competition: Win a VIP Bath Abbey Tower Tour for you and your friends! Worth £120 – plus a free bottle of champagne

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SHOPPING

WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN Independent of the week Natalie Banyard visits Chaplins, the essential preparation for any fancy dress party

ove them or loathe them, there’s always a fancy dress party at this time of year. If you’ve been invited to join the frenzy, but don’t know what to wear, take a trip to Chaplins. Situated on the Centre, a couple of doors down from The Bristol Hippodrome, Chaplins is a one-stop-shop for fun. The rear of the jam-packed store is devoted to a huge selection of fancy dress costumes, wigs and accessories, while the front displays a great range of greetings cards, games and jokes, including the mandatory rubber chickens and Whoopie Cushions! “We opened in 1991, selling wacky and original gifts,” says owner David Gaze, pictured. “The fancy dress operation was just an added bonus to begin with, but over time it’s become the biggest thing we do.” From the amazing Latex Spiderman costume in Chaplins’ window display, to the fun and funky Disco Fever number, there’s an unrivalled range of costumes to suit any party. You can look out of this world in a silver spaceman costume, rock out in Seventies gear, go wild in cowboys and Indian

get-up, or be at the top of your game with a Super Mario suit. You can find freaky wigs, rock star wigs, spiky wigs and spicy wigs, along with false beards and moustaches, plastic noses and glasses. For a more classy affair, there are flapper dresses, top hats and feather boas. Chaplins also constantly updates its stock, so if an Austin Powers film comes out, they’ll stock Sixties gear, if a superhero film is released, they’ll get new “caped crusader” costumes in. “We want to be – and have to be – contemporary, relevant and up-to-date,” says David. “We have all the latest costumes and accessories. “Fancy dress parties are a bit of a competition. People really want to push the boat out and put in a lot of effort.” Over the past couple of weeks, Chaplins has been welcoming plenty of Christmas revellers, and they’re expecting this weekend to be busy as New Year’s Eve approaches. David has some good advice for those still umming and aahing about what to wear. “If you’re looking for a costume for a New Year’s Eve party, I’d suggest opting for something relatively simple because you’ll be in crowded

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rooms and will want to be able to relax, enjoy a few drinks and have a laugh. “Unlike most fancy dress parties, this won’t be a best dressed competition. “Pop in and take a look at our collection – we’re sure to have something here for you.” In addition to its costumes, the store also stocks a rib-tickling array of gifts and

novelty items. The indoor fireworks are proving to be a top seller at the moment, as are the UV and neon rave make-up range. But the old classics are still a hit, with the fart machines, plastic poo and duck whistles flying off the shelves! Chaplins’ wide range of ever-changing products, upbeat atmosphere and excellent

top buys Kohwspuz

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customer service keeps the customers flowing. “People like Chaplins,” says David. “We have lots of different groups of shoppers. “There are those who always come here to get their greetings cards, then there are the students, who descend upon us at Halloween. “We have the tourists, looking to pick up a few souvenir items,

and the party-goers, who love a fancy dress event. “We get to meet people from all walks of life and get to know some great characters,” continues David. “Our aim is to raise a smile and give people a laugh, and so far we’re succeeding.”

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BLACK AND GOLD MAGIC Chic, stylish and bang on trend, fashion-conscious revellers will be donning black and gold for their New Year’s Eve bash.

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TOP TABLE Whether you’re having an intimate meal or catering for the 5,000, create a stylish table setting for your New Year’s Eve dinner party at home.

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HEALTH&BEAUTY

THE EYES HAVE IT Beauty City of Bristol College lecturers Kate Dowle and Shenene Gilbert give their tips for glamming up that New Year’s Eve party outfit with false lashes and a touch of sparkle

ew Year’s Eve is often the last party night of the festive season, so you’ll want to make the most of it – and that includes paying careful attention to your make-up for the big night. If you’ve never tried false lashes before, there’s no better occasion to give them a first outing than a special occasion, when they will create the illusion of bigger, wider and more defined eyes and add a touch of glamour to the most simple look. �� – �� Before you begin applying the false lashes, ensure you have lined the eye with a smudged kohl, or “winged out” dark liner which will act as a guideline when positioning the lashes. Also, if you make a mistake with glue, the dark colour will help to disguise a multitude of sins. �� If you want to achieve a professional lashes look, you must always coat your natural lashes with two to three fine layers of mascara before adding

“falsies”. This gives the false lashes something to rest upon and helps to blend them to your own. �� – �� If you ever feel that the lashes are uncomfortable, it may be because they are too long for your eyes. In this case, we suggest taking a rounded C-shaped lash and cutting it in half. Use the two halves on the outer corner of each eye for a more comfortable feel and a subtle “flare”. For a full false eyelash application, wrap the eyelashes around the handle of a make-up brush prior to application. This helps to soften the spine and curve the lashes for a snug and comfy fit. �� Standard lashes are designed to fit all eye shapes and sizes so you may find you have to trim them. Lashes should always be fitted from the inner corner of the eye to the outside, so if you find they are too big, trim the excess only from the outside of the eye. �� – �� You must always ensure the glue is tacky before you apply the

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2 lashes to ensure good adhesion, so the lashes don’t slide or pop off! Spread the eyelash glue on to the back of your hand and leave for two or three minutes until the glue develops a skin. Next, take the tip of a make-up brush, or the back of a pair of tweezers, scoop up the tacky

glue and run it along the spine of the lashes, making sure you don’t touch the lash fibres. �� – �� With your tweezers, hold the lashes in the centre. Set a mirror on the table or surface below your face. You will find that you have to look down into the

For a more natural look

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4 mirror, which means your eye is positioned perfectly for application, without you having to stretch the skin. �� – �� Rest the false lash on your natural lashes and begin to stick them down, starting from the inner corner, using the tweezers.

Work your way along to the centre, then towards the outer corner of the eye. Next, gently clamp the false and natural lashes together with tweezers to ensures they blend in for a realistic look. Finish with an additional coat of mascara to lift and define.

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Santa’s Lapland is offering a fantastic two-night family trip (2 adults and 2 children) to Lapland in December 2014. The winning family will experience all the delights of Lapland, including a snowmobile search for Santa, husky ride, sleigh ride and a private family meeting with Santa himself! TO ENTER all you need to do is ﬁnd the hidden elf in the Bristol Post or Western Daily Press who will be carrying a secret code for that day. Log on to www.bristolpost.co.uk/lapland and enter the code for a chance to win. A different code will be published in each issue until the 4th January 2014, so be sure to enter each day to maximise your chances of winning!

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Terms and Conditions: The holiday must be taken from 30 November 2014 -24 December 2014 and is subject to availability. The prize includes return economy ﬂights to Ivalo Airport from Bristol airport, subject to availability, with allocated seats, one piece of hold luggage per passenger (up to a maximum weight of 20kg per bag) and transfers from the airport to the hotel. Snow mobile search for Santa’s log cabin including lunch and refreshments, meet and greet with Santa, a gift for children aged 13 or under, husky sled drive/ride, reindeer sleigh ride, snow and ice activities, souvenir ‘driving licence’, Arctic circle certiﬁcate, and a gala dinner. For full terms and conditions visit www.bristolpost.co.uk/lapland.

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GAMES Ll}ps Uh Ky

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t’s been a big year for computer games, as the latest Call of Duty release saw fans queuing overnight for a piece of the action. But there have been some other gems released too. Here is our pick of some of the gaming highlights of the year. Devil May Cry (Xbox 360, £13.99) has been a fantastically successful series over the years, and it was great to get a reboot of this franchise in 2013. This time out, you join Dante in a super-stylish action experience, where the chaining together of multiple combos has never been so satisfying, nor executed with such flair. Animal Crossing: New Leaf (Nintendo 3DS, £24.99) brings

the world of Animal Crossing calling once again, supercharged with more super-cute characters and quaint quests than you can imagine. This time, as mayor of your village, you’ll be able to build it from the ground up. With no points or levels, just a myriad of sights and sounds, places and activities, it’s up to you how your New Leaf life plays out – and hundreds of hours later there’s likely to still be so much left you want to achieve. FIFA 14 (Xbox 360, £29.99) shows how the FIFA series is constantly looking to push the boundaries of what’s possible in sports simulation. Subtle tweaks deliver a much enhanced gameplay experience, offering more verve, pace and precision to your attacks, and a more free-flowing rhythm to each

match. Two other gameplay additions, Pure Shot and Real Ball Physics, ensure you get as close as possible to understanding what it feels like to strike the perfect pinger. Tomb Raider (Xbox 360, £14.99) is a reinvigoration of Lara’s adventurous life, going right back to where it all began, proved to be a revelation. Tomb Raider nailed the perfect balance of old and new, offering up a wealth of action and exploration that sheds new light on the series – and the central character – through a beautifully realised exotic world and a tightly-knitted storyline. Combat has been finely tuned, whether you’re attacking from afar with your bow or steaming in all guns blazing, and the traditional ‘tomb raiding’ is as deliciously dank, dark and relic-ridden as it’s ever been.

Rayman Legends’ (PS3, £16.99) The narrative follows on from Rayman Origins, after our heroes awake from a 100-year nap. During this extended snooze, nightmares have been allowed to infest the Glade of Dreams and, once Rayman has risen from his mysterious slumber, he must set off on a new adventure with his friends to restore order in the universe. Travelling between five different worlds, Ubisoft delivers an awesome single and multiplayer platform adventure, where you must defeat legendary enemies to save the Teenies from villains. From traditional Rayman platforming action to new music rhythm-based stages, the innovative action never lets up, all presented in the crisp cartoon-style that we’ve come to know and love from this modern-day Mario.

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RESOLUTION READY So the time for New Year’s resolutions is looming. If you want to make 2014 the year you actually achieve something, rather than just talk about it, you’ll need some forward-planning, some dedication – and perhaps one of these handy gadgets...

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DAYS OUT i Vh{hspl Jhu hyk

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ore than a few of us will be feeling lazy and stodgy by the time New Year’s Day arrives, as the gluttonous behaviour of the previous week takes effect.

If the weather’s kind, or you’ve got a decent set of waterproofs and a bright disposition, there’s plenty of opportunity to stretch those legs and catch a few city sights at the same time. For details of several walking routes in and around the city,

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visit www.travelwest.info and click on “walk”. Here, you’ll find several routes that you can download, print out and pop in a knapsack, with a bottle of water and a turkey sandwich, or take a few quid for a pub lunch. Walking routes include: ��’� �� A city centre walk exploring some of Isambard Kingdom Brunel’s engineering projects in Bristol from 1829 to 1850, following a linear route from Temple Meads to the Clifton Suspension Bridge, including the docks and the cross-harbour ferry to the ss Great Britain. ��’� �� Covering the squares of Hotwells, Clifton and central Bristol, this walk also refers to the major and minor celebrities who have lived in them. �� From Sea Mills railway station, follow a series of footpaths along the River Trym and climb up to Durdham Down along little-used paths, returning along a footpath by the River Avon. The walk can also start at the water tower on Durdham Down.

�� This circular walk is from St Werburgh’s to Stapleton and back, taking in some of the past and living history and complemented by Narroways Nature Reserve, panoramic views from Purdown and some light thrown on to the darker side of the area’s murky past. �� Starting in inner Bristol, this route runs along urban paths that lead into open countryside, with fine views of Bristol and distant countryside. �� The walk follows a series of footpaths along the River Trym and through the delightful Penpole Wood, Kings Weston Down and Blaise Castle Estate, with superb views over Bristol and Shirehampton. For convenience, the walk is presumed to start at Blaise Castle House. �� A short, steep walk taking in the blue plaques and history around the Centre, up St Michael’s Hill and the Christmas Steps, where many of the older parts of the

Further afield Clevedon Swim

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city are on show. Zv h{l Ppss On this route, you’ll take in two urban cemeteries, an elegant park, ancient hedged paths, a hummocky hill and a panoramic view of south Bristol. [j|sw{|yl \yhps This fascinating tour showcases 30 public statues and sculptures, many of them hidden from public view. Starting in the city centre, you’ll travel through Queen’s Square to Castle Park, along the harbour to Millennium Square and on to College Green before returning to the centre. [v|{o Jypz{vs Xhyrz Another circular walk, this one covers six parks on a hard surface with only one lengthy climb and one flight of steps. [v|{o Jypz{vs Kpyj|shy For the hardcore walker, there’s a 23-mile walk devised by the Bristol Ramblers’ Association that offers wonderful views across the city centre, Avon Valley, Dundry Hill and Ashton Court. The route is available on the national ramblers website www.ramblers.org.uk.

Further afield Welsh Grand National

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In and around Bristol Roman Empire exhibition

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Dinner: on a budget Great offers on flavoursome curry �� ?: Pvss~h Zvhk4 [{vjr~vvk4 Jypz{vs4 J[9< @XO6 \lsB 89:?= @;@;996

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Wine of the week The Co-operative Les Pionniers Vintage Champagne 2004

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fter numerous changes of management and intermittent periods of closure, The Ropewalk reopened just before Christmas with ambitious new owner Tristan Roddy

at the helm. Following a spell running pubs in London and Brighton, Tristan has arrived in Bristol, where he has family, and decided to take on the Ropewalk. He certainly has his work cut out for him, as this Bedminster pub has had more ups and downs than a funfair roller coaster over the past couple of decades. In the 1990s, The Ropewalk gained a good local reputation as a live music venue and it drew a discerning crowd of regulars. Since then, the Young’s brewery-owned pub has changed tenants several times and there have been periods when it attracted a rowdy element that was off-putting for those who simply fancied a quiet drink without the hassle. The new licensee has deep-cleaned the place and exorcised it of bad karaoke and cheap lager. Now, all he has to do is get rid of some of the stigma attached to the pub. The cleaner, fresher new look makes the most of its original features, such as exposed brick fireplace and stripped floorboards. It’s lighter, brighter and more

comfortable, thanks to button-back leather Chesterfield sofas and a generally more welcoming environment. Although Tristan is still tied to Young’s brewery to supply his beers, he aims to offer a good range of real ales if the demand is there. It will take a while for Bristol’s real ale drinkers to realise The Ropewalk is back in good hands, but the rich and fruity Winter Warmer I tried was well kept and the range of ciders includes Stowford Press and Aspall. The new-look pub plans to restart live music soon, as well as open mic and poetry nights and pub quizzes. Sunday roasts have already started and are proving popular, with organic meat supplied by Adey’s Farm in Berkeley, Gloucestershire. Options include top rump of beef, confit pork belly, or lamb shank braised in red wine, with a whole roast organic chicken carved at the table also on offer for £48 (to serve four people). The rest of the week, food includes a range of baguettes and light bites, as well as main courses, such as cheese burger with chips for £10.50 and beer-battered haddock, chips and butter puréed’ peas for £11. After years of decline, The Ropewalk has benefited from some much-needed TLC and I hope the new owner’s efforts pay off. Nyvt Nypkh 4 Lljltily :?4 :89;

EATING IN Wow your new year guests with crispy crostini

ather than buying canapés from the supermarket chill cabinets, homemade nibbles are sure to impress your guests far more at your New Year’s Eve party. Westbury-on-Trym chef Tara Hofman, who runs the catering company Tara’s Table, is used to preparing large quantities of canapés for private and corporate clients and this crostini recipe has a deliciously seasonal twist. Tara says: “Making crostini is a great way to use up old bread or baguette. They keep well for a few days in an airtight container, so you can make them in advance. “Just cut the bread to the size and shape you want, then brush with oil, sprinkle with salt and bake in the oven at 185C until golden and crisp.”

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LEAN, MEAN BEANS

ristol food writer Genevieve Taylor is passionate about all things “bean” and her latest book features more than a hundred recipes that make beans the star of the lunch or dinner table. Low in fat, high in fibre and protein and full of essential nutrients, beans are a naturally healthy food and they are also low cost, making them ideal for knocking up weekday family meals on a budget. They are also incredibly versatile and can be used in a wide range of dishes, sweet and savoury.

In this delicious party nibble, Genevieve uses butter beans, which can be bought dried and then soaked or, for extra convenience, tinned. This recipe is taken from Bean Feasts by Genevieve Taylor, which is published by Apple Press on January 2, priced, £12.99. www.genevievetaylor.co.uk.

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TRAVEL

DINING WITH A DIFFERENCE World travel It’s consistently rated as one of the world’s top culinary destinations, but what is it that makes Copenhagen such a foodie paradise? Catherine Wylie arrives hungry to find out.

s host to one of the biggest Christmas markets in Europe, Copenhagen has always been a popular winter city break destination. But thanks to a dynamic food scene and the opening of several world-class restaurants and cafés, there’s now even more reason to head to the Danish capital. When I arrive for my long weekend of culinary indulgence, I have to admit that images of sizzling bacon and sweet, sticky pastries do flash through my mind, but, as I soon discover, the Nordic table has a lot more weird and wonderful delights to offer.

Arriving just in time for Europe’s largest food festival, Copenhagen Cooking, I head for a picnic on the roof of the Axelborg building overlooking the twinkling lights of Tivoli Gardens. Chef Rasmus Bo Bojesen, who hosts the restaurant at the Royal Danish Opera, is in charge of the event. It’s a six-storey climb to the top, but the journey is made less of a drag with an appetiser served on each floor. The pea soup with Danish apples and roasted pork is an explosion of freshness and tastiness, while nachos are spruced up with an unusual dill mayonnaise. Waiting for the main event, candles flicker around us, and an atmospheric soundtrack filters through

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speakers at a pleasant level. An array of exciting dishes come out of the kitchen one by one – crispy pigs’ ears on a slate, mackerel in a cute tin, indulgent chicken skin, and possibly the most tender spare ribs my mouth has had the pleasure of nuzzling. Salty potatoes are placed on the table in a brown paper bag and, to stick with the rustic theme, organic roots are served in a dish with crumpled rye made to look like soil. Artistry and imagination are offered by the bucket-load. The dessert plunges me into a sort of euphoria, as we crunch down on Bojesen’s Giant Eskimo – vanilla ice cream, blackcurrant and his own chocolate sourced from the

Amazon rainforest. As I quickly learn, eating in the city is much less about satisfying hunger and more an experience for all the senses, as well as being a social activity. Much of the buzz surrounding Copenhagen’s food scene stems from world-famous restaurant Noma, which has topped Restaurant magazine’s highly regarded World’s Best 50 Restaurants list three times (this year it was knocked off the top spot by El Celler de Can Roca). The restaurant’s co-founder Claus Meyer could be described as Denmark’s Jamie Oliver, and Noma has done a great deal to bring people back to the basics of Danish cooking. The new Nordic kitchen’s buzzwords are freshness, organic, purity, simplicity and ethics, with much importance placed on food provenance. But although Noma continues to attract crowds, locals are keen to inform the world that Copenhagen is not just a one-trick pony. In search of more standout restaurants in the city, I visit Michelin-starred Kadeau in Christianshavn – a spacious restaurant set in an old office building.

I can still taste the wonderful starter. A beautiful bright green, the bowl of blue mussels, beans, beach herbs and green strawberry wine renders me unable to focus on what is happening around me. Chicken feet and rooster hearts are also served – because at the Nordic table there is always a talking point. Copenhagen has welcomed the trend of pop-up restaurants, many of which go on to set up permanent spaces. One such place is Stedsans, a successful summer pop-up, with plans to open as a restaurant. Run by husband and wife Mette Helbak and Flemming S Hansen, the Stedsans motto is “clean, simple, local”. Hansen is among the 25 per cent of people in Copenhagen who buy organic. The city is full of great food stores and markets, including the halls of Torvehallerne, where shoppers can buy cheese, beer, cold cuts... and porridge. Lasse Andersen runs GROD, the world’s first porridge restaurant. “Porridge is a big part of our cultural identity in Denmark,” he tells me. His venture attracts a hip crowd, families and foodies, who are all keen to get a taste of what they refer to as “granny food”.

Meanwhile, over on Jaegersborggade – an up-and-coming trendy street, which was previously a haven for drug dealers, the locals relax with coffee in cafes and restaurants. Here, Relae basks in its fashionable status as one of the hot eating spots in the city – and is the world’s first certified organic Michelin-starred restaurant. Christian Puglisi, one of its founders, feels privileged to be a part of Copenhagen’s modern food movement. Pondering his restaurant’s success, he says: “You can just sit down, close your eyes, and hopefully be brought somewhere.” It’s true, the dishes on offer here can transport you to a million places, but at its heart, the food in Copenhagen is distinctly Danish and something you won’t find anywhere else.

Nhj{mpsl Catherine Wylie was a guest of VisitDenmark. For more information on the destination, visit www.visitdenmark.co.uk. Scandinavian Airlines (www.flysas.com/en/uk) fly from London Heathrow to Copenhagen from £78 one way.

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Take the plunge into a fragile underwater world _vysk {yh}ls Iz {v|ypzt jvu{pu|lz {v nyv~ pu {ol Uhskp}lz4 Phuuho [{lwoluzvu kp}lz pu{v {ol ~vysk {oh{ jvuzly}h{pvupz{z hyl {y pun {v wylzly}l

reaking off the beautiful, fragile coral, his flippers creating a cloud of debris which muddies the water, Arnie doesn’t even look up at the divers observing his wanton destruction of the reef that everyone else is trying to save. We have just been given a lesson in the dive school on the importance of not touching the coral, which provides a vital framework to the eco-balance of this part of the Indian Ocean, yet Arnie gives us a perfect display of how not to treat this stunning environment. But then Arnie is a hawksbill turtle, the largest of a group of around eight to make their home on the 300m-long house reef at Baros, a tiny, truly beautiful Robinson Crusoe-like island in the Maldives, with five-star facilities and diving to die for. It’s 40 years since Baros was created, firstly as a hang-out for divers, and later transformed into the high-end luxury paradise it is now. And tourism has, in some ways, helped to preserve much of the marine life which once went unprotected. Dutchman Ronny Van Dorp,

owner of the Baros dive centre, says that in the 17 years he has been there, he has seen shark numbers dip – fisherman would hunt them for shark fin soup, an extravagant delicacy in China – and rise again, following a total ban on shark hunting a few years ago. Now, we see blacktip reef sharks and nurse sharks in the shallows. There’s also a ban on the catching of turtles and the sale of turtle-shell products. Diving into those crystal clear waters, I witness an aquarium, as bi-coloured parrot fish mingle with emperor angel fish, stripy Oriental sweetlips share space with jutting-jawed spotted wrasse, while bright orange clown fish, which are indigenous to the Maldives, dip in and out of the flowering corals. Set up in 1979 as one of the first dive centres in the Maldives, Baros was also the first in the Maldives to practise the international Reef Check Programme, educating the public, monitoring reef health and working on solutions to protect healthy reefs and rehabilitate damaged ones. Coral reefs act like a protective seawall for the Maldives, providing breeding and feeding grounds for fish and

other marine creatures, but also give us a picture of the health of the sea in general. Some 15 years ago, the El Nino effect – when the temperature of the waters in the Maldives rose above 32C for around two weeks – caused extensive coral bleaching, killing a lot of it. In response, resorts set up their own coral planting initiatives. Baros is among those to offer guests the chance to regenerate the coral, with expert help. We go out snorkelling in a small group and are shown how to dive down to select the coral for regeneration, choosing bits of coral which have been broken off or are growing poorly, but are not completely dead. Pieces such as these are suitable for re-planting. Baros is now offering a donation system, whereby you can sponsor a coral planting frame and the resort will send you an update and picture of its progress as time goes on. As tourism has increased, so have concerns about the rubbish problem, not helped by reports that Thilafushi, known as “Rubbish Island” and purpose-built to be used as a garbage dump by many of the luxury hotels, is full to overflowing. There’s talk of

building an underground incinerator. Meanwhile, the marine biologists at Baros are doing everything in their power to get the conservation message across to tourists. “Tourism is a hope for the Maldives, not a danger,” says marine biologist Verena Wiesbauer-Ali. “I can show you what is alive and what is dead. It gives people the chance to learn how fragile our coral is and how important it is. I’m thrilled to see a turtle every day. If the tourists weren’t here, these animals wouldn’t be protected.”

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MUSIC

After 50 years, Chas & Dave are still rabbiting on OQO WN \PM _MMS Kohz / Lh}l Nslljl4 [|ukh 4 Lljltily :A4 zll spz{punz mvy kl{hpsz6

ince starting out in the early Sixties as session musicians for the likes of Jerry Lee Lewis and Gene Vincent, Chas & Dave have maintained their own inimitable musical journey that continued to flourish regardless of the numerous trends that have come and gone along the way. The duo have achieved three million album and single sales, landed six top 20 hits, opened for Led Zeppelin and continue to play approximately 80 theatre-sized venues all over the country, every year. Chas & Dave are currently marking their 50th year in music together with the release of their latest studio album, That’s What Happens, which is their first new studio album for 27 years. The album was recorded in Studio 2, Abbey Road – “The Beatles Room” – with Grammy-winning bluesman Joe

Henry (Solomon Burke, Allen Toussaint, Elvis Costello and Bonnie Raitt) on production duties. The album sees Chas & Dave return to their roots with a collection of early R&B, skiffle and rock ’n’ roll classics, alongside new takes on songs of their own. It highlights their finely-honed, versatile musicianship and intricate vocal harmonies and features a crack team of musicians and special guests, including guitarists Albert Lee and Martin Taylor, Buddy Holly and The Crickets’ drummer J.I Allison and, on keys, Jools Holland and Hugh Laurie. “This is one of the most enjoyable albums we’ve ever done,” says Chas Hodges, who formed the band with Dave Peacock in 1975. “It was a great week in Abbey Road, with top-class musicians and Joe Henry at the helm. “There was an unregimented atmosphere where the ‘room’ worked well alongside the microphones, resulting in an album that ran so smoothly. It was a joy.”

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Best remembered for hit singles including Ain’t No Pleasing You (number two in 1982), Rabbit (number eight in 1980) and Gertcha (number 20 in 1978), Chas & Dave are also renowned for bringing long-forgotten music hall classics back to the public ear, but their musical journey now brings them right back to where it all started in the skiffle and early rock ’n’ roll scene of a pre-Beatles London. The band have been a household name since their debut album One Fing ‘n’ Anuvver, which earned critical acclaim from the likes of John Peel, among others. Their proudly cockney vocals and exuberant good humour, blended with their love for genuine rock ’n’ roll, led them to title their 1978 EMI album Rockney, which later became their label name. Two years later they were spotted by an advertising executive at a pub gig playing their song Gertcha; he signed them up to make ads for Courage beer and they soon followed it with their third album Don’t Give

A Monkey’s, which produced two of their most successful singles, Rabbit and Ain’t No Pleasing You. In the 1980s, the hits continued with the likes of Margate and London Girls, and they also contributed memorable theme tunes for TV shows such as Crackerjack and In Sickness & In Health. Chas & Dave’s new album is the culmination of a gradual reappraisal of the duo’s talents in recent years, which began when they were invited to support The Libertines back in 2004. They subsequently performed at Glastonbury in 2005 and 2007 as well as Bestival in 2012. Last year they were the subject of Last Orders, an hour-long documentary that has been broadcast on BBC Four eight times. Their recently completed UK headline tour featured 70 shows and concluded with a sold-out gig at London’s 3,000 capacity indig02 venue. Now they return to The Fleece in Bristol for the second time this year, hot off the back of a sell-out gig at the venue in May.

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Don’t miss Swing Dance Bristol featuring Boogie Woogie Braves

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Don’t miss: NYE with Kandi Klub

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Don’t miss: Babyhead

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Shop Instore or Online

mon - sat: 10:30am - 6:00pm sunday: 11:30am - 4:30pm commission service available

www.dianaporter.co.uk 33 park street bristol bs1 5nh

t: 0117 9090 225

Bristol

CiDER

Shop

At-Bristol Ice Rink Millennium Square 9 Nov – 5 Jan 10am – 8pm

Everything for the cider lover... Cider & perry gift sets The ‘12 Ciders of Christmas’ Somerset Cider Brandy Cider mugs & jugs ... and yes we even deliver!

7 Christmas Steps, Bristol BS1 5BS Tues - Sat 10 - 6 • (0117) 382 1679 www.bristolcidershop.co.uk

Book online!

at-bristol.org.uk/icerink A registered charity (no. 1049954)

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Don’t miss Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra: Viennese Gala

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RESOLUTIONS COURSES

RESOLUTIONS

THAT’L L LEARN YOU THERE’S MORE TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS THAN GETTING FIT AND HEALTHY. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE EDUCATION COULD BE THE KEY, WHETHER YOU DREAM OF CHANGING CAREER, GOING BACK TO UNIVERSITY OR SIMPLY MAKING MORE OF YOUR SPARE TIME. FROM EVENING CLASSES TO POSTGRADUATE STUDY, THERE’S A VAST RANGE OF OPTIONS AVAILABLE. HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES TO WHET YOUR APPETITE. COMMUNITY SERVICE: ADULT COURSES AT BACKWELL SCHOOL

HIGHER LOVE: POSTGRADUATE OPTIONS AT BRISTOL UNIVERSITY

when they’ve done their A-Levels. Its community courses programme offers everything from Spanish, Italian, French and Latin to jewellery, photography, and art. Courses are open to all adults, with January starts including art and ideas, traditional photography, Mandarin Chinese, life drawing and cookery. All courses are designed for people who want to do something fulfilling in their spare time and the focus is on learning in an enjoyable and supportive environment with a minimum of paperwork. For a copy of the prospectus contact Karen Lee-Bapty or view it online at the school's website.

about to complete their degrees. The University of Bristol’s Faculty of Arts and Humanities are recruiting for autumn 2014, and they’re keen to attract everyone from current students to retired people. The massive range of study areas includes (deep breath) music, theatre, film and TV, archaeology, anthropology, philosophy, modern languages, classics and ancient history, theology and religion, history, art history, and English, with programmes ranging from taught MAs to research degrees. Prospective candidates should keep an eye on the Faculty’s website. Degrees are available on a part-time and full-time basis, and some funding is available.

✱ Backwell School doesn’t stop teaching people

PHOTOGRAPHY IS JUST ONE OF THE COMMUNITY COURSES AVAILABLE AT BACKWELL SCHOOL

FFI: WWW.BACKWELLSCHOOL.NET, 01275 465942 OR KLEEBAPTY@BACKWELLSCHOOL.NET,

✱ Postgraduate options aren’t just for those

FFI: WWW.BRISTOL.AC.UK/ARTS/GRADSCHOOL RESOLUTIONS 2014 37

RESOLUTIONS COURSES TAO AND ZEN: PHILOSOPHY FOR LIVING ✱ From East to West, from ancient Greece to

the global village, some questions won’t go away: ‘Who am I?’, ‘What is the purpose of life?’, ‘What is the moral way to behave?’ The Bath and Bristol School of Philosophy has offered evening courses in practical philosophy for over 20 years. The sessions – which draw on students’ experiences and insights as well as stories, scriptures, Shakespeare, Plato and ancient Indian texts - identify common ground between the world’s traditions and question what it would mean to live your life by philosophical insight. The first year begins by asking 'What is it to be wise and act wisely?', offering practical techniques to still the mind and stimulate natural abilities.

FFI: WWW.BATHANDBRISTOLPHILOSOPHY.ORG

LET'S FRANCE: ALLIANCE FRANÇAISE

✱ Alliance Française is a network of clubs and language centres spread across 130 countries. Bristol’s branch opened in 1983 and was later joined by one in Bath. Their French classes cater for all ability levels and there are still a few places available from January in both the daytime and evening sessions. Courses are taught by native French speakers, who also run one-off events for members and non-members alike. The early part of 2014 sees the launch of their cine club at The Lansdown in Clifton (19 Jan), followed by a Bath equivalent on 31st

38 RESOLUTIONS 2014

January. Other events for the New Year include a sketch show at The Hen & Chicken (4 Feb), a cheese and wine matching evening (14 Feb), and a dessertmaking workshop (20 Feb). FFI: WWW.AFBRISTOL.ORG. UK, 0117 924 7809 (BRISTOL), 07932 377130 (BATH)

SAY KONNICHIWA TO JAPAN: YU JAPANESE LANGUAGE SCHOOL

✱ Learning Japanese is the

key to one of the most vibrant and influential cultures in the world. Yuko Hasegawa and Rihae Yuh have 30 years teaching experience between them and their courses at Clifton’s Polish Club have been a raging success. In response to demand, they’re starting a brand new 20-week beginners’ course on 8 January, designed for complete beginners and ideal for those planning to head to Japan on holiday. There are five other levels available, from ‘post-beginner’ to ‘advanced’, so it’s well worth getting in touch to discuss your current experience before choosing the right course for you.

FFI: 07804 782166 OR INFO@YUJLS.CO.UK

TOP: YU JAPANESE LANGUAGE SCHOOL BOTTOM: ALLIANCE FRANCAIS

RESOLUTIONS COURSES

RESOLUTIONS 2014 39

RESOLUTIONS COURSES

THERE’S THE RUB: BRISTOL COLLEGE OF MASSAGE AND BODYWORK

✱ Massage has a huge number of uses, from

relaxation to healing and muscle tone. BCMB have been Bristol’s massage specialists since 1987, and they can teach you how to use your body to make massage easy, fluent and creative, along with the self-awareness, personal development and grounding in anatomy, physiology and pathology that are essential for success in this field. There are regular introductory workshops for beginners and professional diplomas for those ready to embark on a hands-on career. The MTI Diploma in Holistic Massage (starting 22 February) is the perfect foundation course, while the MTI Diploma in Remedial and Sports Massage (September 2014) teaches injury treatment, postural assessment, advanced massage, sports preparation and aftercare.

are designed for smartphones and tablets as well as desktop and laptop computers, allowing students to study on the bus, on their lunch hour, or slumped on the sofa while the kids are in bed. Whether you’re looking to rekindle your passion for your old degree subject, or fancy embarking on a brand new romance with oceanography or critical theory, Futurelearn might be exactly what you need. Did we mention it’s free? FFI: WWW.FUTURELEARN.COM

BRING THE NOISE: ACCESS TO MUSIC

✱ The music business may well be a glamorous

FFI: WWW.NORTCOLL.AC.UK OR CALL 01761 433161

and creative place to earn your living, but it’s also notoriously difficult to get into. If you dream of making it as a musician, producer, songwriter, DJ or music PR you may have a fair bit to learn, and that’s where Access To Music come in. The UK’s leading popular music college has outlets all over the country and the Bristol centre has a great reputation within the local music scene. The wide-ranging ‘Introduction To Music’ course - currently enrolling for a January start – is extremely popular, and ATM also offer Further Education courses in Music Performance, Music Technology, Music Business, Artist Development and Digital Media. They also offer degrees in related subjects as well as a specialised programme for those who want to become music teachers. The next open evening at the Bristol centre is on Saturday 8th February.

BACK TO THE FUTURE: FUTURELEARN.COM

FFI: WWW.ACCESSTOMUSIC.CO.UK/CENTRES/ BRISTOL

universities? Intimidated by the ever-growing cost of tuition? If so, it could be time to take a look at Futurelearn. Launched in September 2013, Futurelearn offers free, high quality online courses from twenty of the best UK and international universities, along with cultural institutions like the British Council, the British Library and the British Museum. Owned by the Open University, Futurelearn is “a unique social online learning experience”, in which online discussion replaces the studenttutor model as the focus of learning. Courses

WHERE THE ART IS: ICIA

FFI: WWW.BRISTOLMASSAGE.CO.UK OR CALL 0117 377 1201

THE LEISURE PRINCIPLE: NORTON RADSTOCK COLLEGE

✱ Education is for everyone, and doesn’t always have to be about getting qualifications or training for a career. Norton Radstock College has an exciting range of leisure courses starting in the New Year, and they’re a perfect excuse to get out of the house, meet new people and learn something you’ve always wanted to. Learning for leisure isn’t like being at school or college – it’s informal, there are no exams, and whether you do homework or not is up to you. Depending on your interests, the College is equipped to teach you anything from modern languages to pottery, digital photography, dressmaking or building a chicken house. The ‘Buying and Selling on Ebay’ course might even transform you into an internet entrepreneur.

✱ Do you want access to the world’s leading

40 RESOLUTIONS 2014

taught by Caroline Garland and Oliver Langdon of Kilter Theatre, which explores a variety of approaches to performance and acting through creative play, script exercises and improvisation. Meanwhile, budding turntablists should check out the eight-week DJ Skills course. It’s taught by Adam Volsen (of The Allergies / Rackabeat and Bar-Low fame), and covers all the skills needed to get DJs “out of their bedroom and into the clubs” including beat-matching, cueing, counting phrases and scratching.

✱ The ICIA’s thought-provoking programme of dance, music, theatre and visual arts is well known, but they also offer a fantastic range of courses for creative types. Part of the University of Bath, the ICIA’s courses take place at Claverton Down and Hayesfield School . Courses starting in February cover a wide range of disciplines such as theatre, ballet, photography, life drawing, painting and contemporary dance. Examples include ‘Drama, Text and Improvisation’, a nine week course

FFI: WWW.BATH.AC.UK/ICIA/CLASSES

HYPNO CAMPUS: THE CLIFTON PRACTICE

✱ Hypnotherapy is one of the fastest growing

professions in the UK for good reason. Therapists tend to be self-employed, and the discipline can be applied to a range of specialist areas including addictions, anger management, confidence, insomnia, relationship problems, pain control, stress, and weight control. Clifton Practice Hynotherapy Training has centres in Plymouth, Manchester and London as well as Bristol, and over the years they’ve enabled hundreds of people to become successful hypnotherapists. Their Hypnotherapy Practitioner Diploma (HPD) is a lively and practical ten-month courses designed to enable students to move into private practice with the ongoing support and advice of the Clifton Practice team where required. FFI: WWW.CHPT.CO.UK

GET MEDI: TM BRISTOL

✱ Transcendental Meditation is not a skill. It doesn’t train the mind. The technique is a deeply pleasurable and natural way to access your own deepest resource of intelligence and joyfulness, while reducing stress throughout the body. Patrice Gladwin has taught Transcendental Meditation for 40 years, describing the technique as “No different from re-charging your phone battery. You plug into a reservoir of creativity and strength. You come out of 20 minutes TM ready for anything because energylevels and health are permanently improved, as top research world-wide has shown.” Patrice provides free introductory talks in Bristol on a regular basis, followed by the Course of Instruction for those who want to take it further. FFI: WWW.UK.TM.ORG/WEB/BRISTOL OR 0117 9147127

RESOLUTIONS COURSES

TOUCHING LIVES

LEARN HOW TO ENABLE OTHERS TO MEET THEIR LIFE CHALLENGES THROUGH DANCE MOVEMENT PSYCHOTHERAPY JOIN OUR PROFESSIONAL THERAPISTS AND TUTORS INTERVIEWING NOW FOR 2014 ENROL ON ONE OF OUR EDUCATION COURSES.

20 WEEK FOUNDATION COURSE IN DANCE MOVEMENT PSYCHOTHERAPY. 3 YEAR MA IN DANCE MOVEMENT PSYCHOTHERAPY – QUALIFYING COURSE – VALIDATED BY CANTERBURY CHRIST CHURCH UNIVERSITY. July & August 6 day Introductory courses. Visit our website for full information and printable application forms. www.dancevoice.org.uk or contact us on 0117 953 2055 email admin@dancevoice.org.uk RESOLUTIONS 2014 41

RESOLUTIONS COURSES

INSIDE THE

OPEN UNIVERSITY

MERIEL LEE, ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF THE O.U IN BRISTOL, ANSWERS OUR QUESTIONS… SO, WHAT IS THE OPEN UNIVERSITY? We are the UK’s largest university with over 250,000 students. We offer high quality flexible learning that can be fitted around your family and work commitments. We offer 120 undergraduate qualifications in a wide range of subjects HOW DOES O.U STUDY WORK? SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE LONELY… Like all study Open University study will require self-motivation but you won’t be on your own. You’ll receive high quality course materials, advice on how to plan your study and you’ll be allocated a tutor throughout your studies. Tuition might be in face–to-face tutorials or via online tutorials. Most courses also have very active online forums and peer support groups on Facebook and LinkedIn. So, although you work in your own environment, you’ll never be on your own. DO I NEED A-LEVELS TO APPLY? No, for most undergraduate qualifications you 42 RESOLUTIONS 2014

WHY SHOULD I DO A DEGREE? Increasingly a degree is a requirement for entry into many careers. Many of our students return to study with the OU in their twenties and thirties having already had experience of the workplace, but find they need a degree to progress their career. BUT CAN I AFFORD IT? Part time students are now eligible for government- backed student loans, so if you qualify you won't need to make any repayments until 2018 and then only if your income is more than £21,000 per annum.

“FOR MOST UNDERGRADUATE QUALIFICATIONS YOU DON’T NEED ANY FORMAL QUALIFICATIONS. THE OU IS OPEN TO ALL.”

WHAT IF I WANT TO GET A TASTE OF THE OPEN UNIVERSITY BEFORE COMMITTING? The Open University offers free online study units at www.openlearn.com, which has had more than 26.7 million visits, and materials on iTunes U, which has recorded more than 60 million downloads.

WHAT IF I WANT TO KNOW MORE? You can go online at www.open.ac.uk , call 0845 300 60 90 or if you’d like to talk to an OU tutor about what it’s like to be an OU student pop along to our information evening at the Bristol Regional Centre, 4 Portwall Lane on 23 Jan 5-7pm. More details of our events can be found at www.open.ac.uk/events.

don’t need any formal qualifications. The OU is open to all.

RESOLUTIONS COURSES

Learn Japanese! YU JLS specialises in providing Japanese courses for various levels. We offer weekly evening courses in Clifton. New beginners course from January, also 6 classes to meet your level For further information please visit www.yujls.co.uk or email us at info@yujls.co.uk or ring 07804 782166

This well-established course looks at answers found in different spiritual and philosophical traditions, from East to West and from Ancient to Modern. We believe there is much common ground to these answers. This course asks you to consider what it would mean to live your life by such teachings. Prior knowledge of philosophy is unnecessary.

Bath: 7.00pm from Tuesday 7th January 2014 Bristol: 7.15pm from Thursday 9th January 2014 To know more please contact: Email: bathand bristolphilosophy@gmail.com Or call: 07973 230651 Ten weeks ÂŁ79, Concessions, Full time students ÂŁ20 Enrol online now, or on arrival

www.bathandbristolphilosophy.org Bristol and Bath School of Philosophy, branch of the Fellowship of the Social Economic Science.

www.philosophycourse.com www.schooleconomicscience.org Charity No. 313115

RESOLUTIONS 2014 43

RESOLUTIONS COURSES

ARTS COURSES & WORKSHOPS visual arts · theatre dance · music

Weekend & evening classes start February. Book now: 01225 386777 www.bath.ac.uk/icia

“I think TM is the best thing I’ve done in my life … for calm and clarity and my blood-pressure!” Martin Savickas “All my road rage is gone!” Karen Savickas

For an introductory talk at the Bristol

TM Centre…

Call Patrice Gladwin on 0117 914 7127 uk.tm.org

44 RESOLUTIONS 2014

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Bristol’s spectacular Family panto!

LOUIE SPENCE as Dandini

SUZANNE SHAW

ANDY FORD

as Cinderella

as Buttons

with

LIZ ROBERTSON as Fairy Godmother

OPENS TONIGHT 6 Dec - 5 Jan Book Now

0844 871 3012

�� / �� 0844 871 3032 www.facebook.com/hippodromepanto

@BristolHipp #hippodromepanto

FILM

PLAIN SAILING Film interview Robert Redford might be nearing 80, but he can still hold his own in a movie. The actor tells Sophie Herdman about All Is Lost, which sees him star, entirely alone, on a sinking boat.

46 Weekend From Friday, December 27, 2013

s far as film plots go, this one’s certainly on the simple side. One character, minimal dialogue and one set – in the middle of the deep, blue sea. All Is Lost is 106 minutes of Robert Redford, struggling to survive when his boat floods after colliding with a shipping container and his equipment breaks down. Despite its simplicity, filming was a challenge. As a hellish storm hits, 77-year-old Redford, whose rugged good looks and thick hair are still intact, spends a large chunk of screen time being thrashed around and thrown into the choppy waters – and it really was him, as he did a lot of his own stunts. The director, J.C Chandor, who also wrote the film, used three huge water tanks as well as wave and wind machines and a giant hose to create the scenes. Redford, who has five grandchildren, is proud of their efforts. “If you go to the movies, most of them are full of special effects – this was more pure,” says the star, who was born in California in 1936 and started acting professionally in the Fifties. Being “wet all the time, all day long did wear me out”, he confesses, but thankfully he’s a confident swimmer. “I grew up in Los Angeles close to the water, so I surfed and swam,” he says. He spent time on sailing boats, too. “But I was never in the deep sea alone,” notes Redford, who is also a keen environmentalist and now lives in Utah with his second wife, German artist Sibylle Szaggars. “I had sailed to Catalina Island and various other places in California, Canada and even off the coast of Mombasa, but it was always in somebody else’s boat, never by myself, or in a storm.” Special effects aren’t the only thing kept to a minimum; there’s not much dialogue either, and very little is known about the film’s only character, not even his name. But for the Redford, this was all part of the appeal. “I saw it as an opportunity to do something I was longing to do – to have a complete experience as an actor and not think about anything else,” he says. He’s one of Hollywood’s most familiar names and Redford’s enjoyed steady success, with notable roles including 1969’s Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid and 1973’s The Sting, which became one of the 20 highest-grossing movies of all time and saw the actor nominated for an Oscar. But he’s always slightly veered away from the mainstream (he set up Sundance Film Festival celebrating independent film in 1978). “I enjoyed the fact that it [All Is Lost] didn’t have much information or dialogue, because it created a challenge for me to

be more fully inside the character,” he says. “It also lets the audience have their own interpretation, instead of telling them how they are supposed to feel.” He didn’t create a back story – covering family, job, the reason he is at sea – for the sailor, either. “I didn’t imagine anything more than what was there,” says Redford, who made his directorial debut in 1980 with Ordinary People, and has directed various other things since, including the highly acclaimed A River Runs Through It. The only clue the audience is given about this man’s life comes from a letter read at the start of the film, send to, we assume, his family. “At the beginning of the movie, when my character says he is sorry and that he tried, it allows us to imagine that there’s a family involved and that he isn’t a horrible person, but also that he failed at something,” Redford explains. “So maybe this journey that he’s on is his way to complete himself, and find out if he can do something. That’s all I had, and it was enough for me.” It’s a powerful combination, and the actor’s already hotly tipped for an Oscar nomination. With little by way of distraction, the enormity of the psychological challenge and frustration of the situation is heightened to the max – and Redford says he especially enjoyed the quiet moments, when his character’s just pottering about in the boat. “In those moments of peace, he would just look out and contemplate what’s there,” he says. “He could see a vast expanse of nothing but space. And then underneath him on that small boat, just miles and miles of deep water. I can’t imagine how you can feel more alone than that.” A lonely man pushed to the limit – it isn’t too dissimilar to 1972’s Jeremiah Johnson, in which Redford played the titular role, a jaded veteran hoping to become a mountain man. “Yes, they’re both about characters who encounter such hardship that is seems like it’s all impossible, and can’t go any further. He is alone, either in water or on land, and one obstacle after another just keeps coming, each one greater than the last one,” he notes. If audience reactions are anything to go by, movie-goers are just as intrigued by the lonely man’s struggle as Redford is – All Is Lost was a huge hit at Cannes and the actor admits that this came as a bit of a surprise. “I thought, ‘Wow!’. I mean, people could have booed it because it was so open,” he says. “But they didn’t.”

Other films which centre around just one character

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n October 1999, six years after Steven Spielberg restored Tyrannosaurus Rex to the top of the food chain in Jurassic Park, the BBC unveiled its ground-breaking series, Walking With Dinosaurs. Narrated by Kenneth Branagh, the programme used state-of- the-art animatronics and computer-generated effects to step back in time to the Mesozoic Era – the so-called Age Of Reptiles. The six-part journey into a lost world populated by majestic beasts, like the Stegosaurus, Ankylosaurus and the gargantuan Brachiosaurus, captivated viewers and won numerous awards, including two BAFTAs and three Emmys. According to Guinness World Records, the programme also claimed the dubious honour of the Most Expensive Television Documentary Series Per Minute, costing a reported £6.1 million for 162 minutes of screen time. Shot on location in Alaska, Walking With Dinosaurs – The 3D Movie is the next evolution, employing dazzling visuals to explore a familiar story of triumph against adversity in the Late Cretaceous period.

Screenwriter John Collee roasts a hoary narrative chestnut – the journey of a runt of the litter – for a simplistic script. It emphasises the educational aspects by freeze-framing the action to provide us with the genus, English translation and feeding classification of each dinosaur. Humour is pitched at younger audiences – the opening sequence is a feast of dino-poop – with occasional concessions to parents, like when the film’s hero stares dreamily at a picturesque landscape and gushes, “This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen!”. “It’s a future oilfield, so don’t get too attached,” replies his feathered sidekick tartly. A clumsy yet well-intentioned framing device introduces Bulldust, the leader of a herd of herbivorous Pachyrhinosaurus. Bulldust must impose his authority on younger rivals while keeping an eye on his newly hatched brood. As the siblings grow up, Patchi learns to compensate for his small stature to overcome the obstacles that life throws at him and woo his sweetheart, Juniper (Tiya Sircar).

48 Weekend From Friday, December 27, 2013

Wise-cracking best friend Alex (John Leguizamo) keeps a close eye on Patchi and together, they face the merciless Gorgosaurus, high-flying Pterosaurs and the chicken-like Hesperonychus, which Patchi refers to as “skinny-necked pecky things”. Walking With Dinosaurs – The 3D Movie is visually arresting edutainment that makes fleeting use of the eye-popping format. Thus, a Pterosaur almost pokes our eye out with its beak. Vocal performances are solid, with Leguizamo stealing the best lines as the little bird who professes: “If you want to know where the food is, follow the fat guys”. Scenes that might be a tad scary for the very young are preceded by a verbal warning from Alex, giving parents sufficient time to create a cuddle cage from the necessary bloodshed.

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ome of the best ideas take root in coffee shops. JK Rowling famously started writing the bestselling Harry Potter books with her baby daughter at her side while enjoying a hot brew. Five years ago, inspiration also struck Michael Acton Smith in a South London coffee shop. While sketching creatures on a scrap of paper, the designer stumbled upon the idea of a game, which allowed players to adopt, play with and nurture their own monster, expanding the idea of virtual pet ownership from the Tamagotchi craze that swept the globe in the late 1990s. The success of the Moshis has been phenomenal, sowing the seeds of a dizzying array of spin-offs including trading cards, magazines and a music album. Considering more than 80 million children aged six-14 have adopted Moshi Monsters, it’s perhaps inevitable these quirky critters would also stampede the big screen in a song-filled romp. Financed, written, directed and animated in the UK, Moshi Monsters: The Movie brings to life the six virtual monsters from the

game – Diavlo, Katsuma, Furi, Luvli, Poppet and Zommer – as they venture far from the safety of Monstro City. Moshling collector Buster Bumblechops (voiced by Keith Wickham) leads an expedition to uncover the Great Moshling Egg. The moustachioed adventurer brings this precious artefact back to Monstro City and proudly displays it at his mansion. Arch-villain Dr Strangeglove (Ashley Slater) and his incompetent Glump sidekick Fishlips (Boris Hiestand) steal the egg and promise to return it only if Katsuma (Emma Tate), Poppet (Phillipa Alexander) and the other Moshi Monsters retrieve three rare objects. With a documentary film crew and Mr Snoodle in tow, Katsuma, Poppet and the gang begin their epic quest, unaware of the dangers that await them. En route, they encounter sugary psychopath Sweet Tooth (Steve Cleverley) and shake their booties with Jollywood superstar Bobbi SingSong (Rajesh David). Alas, Katsuma’s over-inflated ego jeopardises his friendships. “The others, they’re just the fries to my burger, the sprinkles to my cupcake,”

Katsuma arrogantly tells the director of the documentary. Pride, inevitabley, comes before a fall, and Katsuma must fight hard to rebuild bridges with Poppet, Diavlo (Wickham again), Furi (Tom Clarke Hill), Luvli (Tate again) and Zommer (Slater again). Enforcing the Moshi Monsters brand with its cheerful, upbeat tone and a well-worn mantra (“if you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything“) Wip Vernooij and Morgan Francis’s film should entertain youngsters, who have already been bitten by the virtual pet bug. Slater camps it up as the boo-hiss villain of the piece, while the animators cram as much retina-searing colour into each frame. Pacing is brisk and action set-pieces include a stomach-churching mine cart rollercoaster ride.

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Weekend 49

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he days surrounding Christmas and the new year are not always the easiest time to think of venturing out, what with the cold nights, mountains of Christmas food and drink to mop up, and a bumper offering of telly treats. If, however, the cabin fever is setting in and you’re starting to yearn for a night on the town, we can heartily recommend one seasonal theatre treat. After a triumphant run at the same venue this time last year, actor Clive Francis is bringing his acclaimed one-man version of Charles Dickens’ festive epic A Christmas Carol to Bath’s Ustinov Studio. In his acclaimed show, Francis – a renowned Royal Shakespeare Company actor and regular fixture on our

small screens – single-handedly brings to life Dickens’ festive tale of avarice and redemption. Francis is a familiar and much-loved face on the Theatre Royal stage, seen there most recently in Alan Bennett’s The Madness of George III. He’s also been a prolific TV actor over the past five decades, appearing in the likes of May to December, Poldark, New Scotland Yard and Yes, Prime Minister. But he clearly regards this intimate one-man theatre show, in which he tackles a colourful cast of seasonal spirits and Victorian Londoners, including the famously misanthropic Ebenezer Scrooge, as something of a career pinnacle. The great Alan Ayckbourn, no less, has heaped praise on Francis’ creation, drawing attention to the “sleight of hand in which, before your very eyes, he fills an empty stage with an entire Dickensian landscape.” Francis enthuses: “A Christmas Carol is a wonderful read, full of intriguing parallels that make us re-examine our

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own existence and how we behave towards one another. “For the past 12 Christmases, I have travelled up and down the country, performing Dickens’ story of redemption in all manner of settings, from theatres, churches and schools to country houses and even, on one occasion, around the fireside of someone’s drawing room. “After nearly 50 years as an actor, I would say that A Christmas Carol contains the perfect script – full of emotion, rich with characterisation, and an absolute joy to perform.” Francis’ version is an intimate affair that attempts to echo the flavour of the story’s very first public performance. In December 1853, Dickens chose A Christmas Carol for his first-ever public reading, acting some of the parts as he went along. Small wonder that the performance drew an audience of around 2,000, even on a bitterly cold London night. Francis, for his part, recites the work from memory and, in the course of 90 minutes and

with a lectern and an armchair for his only props, brings Dickens’ extraordinary, oft-chilling and ultimately heart-warming tale to life. The actor’s first encounter with the unforgettable Ebenezer Scrooge came some 18 years ago, when he was invited to play the Victorian skinflint for the RSC in a huge, lavish production adapted by Rumpole of the Bailey creator John Mortimer. He says: “It was, as the Sunday Times reported, ‘a success the size of a giant Christmas tree’, appealing to both the inner grown-up in children and the inner child in grown-ups. And to tell the truth, the part, once played, is never forgotten. “Once you have trod the ‘path of jagged flints and stones laid down by Scrooge’s brutal ignorance’, it’s hard to get the old boy out of your head. “The only thing for me to do after that was to adapt the story into a show for myself.” Audiences across the land are very glad that he did.

New Year    Johann Strauss Gala    . Strauss as it should be heard! Experience the elegance and grandeur of Vienna and escape to a world of glittering dance-halls in a concert filled filled with memorable Strauss melodies including Waldmeister Overture Tik-Tak and At the Hunt polkas Emperor and Treasure waltzes plus, of course, the Blue Danube to ﬁnish! Günther Bauer-Schenk  Fiona Murphy 

   live.com 

RAYMOND GUBBAY presents

Russia’s acclaimed ballet company returns to Bristol with great ballet masterpieces following a sensational season in 2013

Swan Lake The Nutcracker Don Quixote Sleeping Beauty Performed by The Full Company & Orchestra of the Russian National Ballet What the critics say

“Dazzling costumes... Wonderfully choreographed group routines and awe-inspiring solo performances.” Southern Daily Echo 2012

21 – 25 JANUARY ATG TICKETS 0844 871 3012

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n exhibition running for the rest of the winter in a dedicated outdoor gallery in the centre of Bristol looks back to a famous Bristol icon – and asks some of the city’s most talented latter-day graphic artists to give it a modern twist. Six graffiti artists from Bristol – including Inkie, a world-renowned artist, former Banksy collaborator, and major force behind the hugely successful See No Evil graffiti festivals – have decorated The Bearpit Outdoor Gallery in Stokes Croft with their interpretations of the iconic Bristol Scroll, of which more in a moment.

The exhibition is organised by the People’s Republic of Stokes Croft, the organisation seeking to regenerate the area through art, activism and community projects. Over to PRSC’s Chris Chalkley to explain the genesis of the project – and the unique, instantly recognisable Bristol artefact that spawned it. “The exhibition is inspired by the Bristol Scroll, which will be well known to anybody over the age of 40,” Chris explains. “The city’s name was carried in this distinctive typeface by every bus in Bristol and the surrounding areas from 1965 until the mid-1980s.” Created by an unknown artist, the elegant symbol was in fact first used in 1910 by the Bristol Aviation Company, later becoming an unofficial brand logo for Bristol across the globe during a period of industrial expansion and innovation. In more recent years, of course, a different form of graphic art has come to be symbolised with our city. Across

the last two decades, Bristol has become known for its rich and fruitful graffiti art scene, producing some truly world-renowned names in the art form and influencing graffiti cultures in cities across the world. And so it seems entirely appropriate that six of Bristol’s finest graffiti artists (Inkie’s companions here are 3-Dom, Deams, 45RPM, Ged Palmer and Paris) have decided to reinvent the scroll in their own styles. A2 screen prints (just £20) and T-shirts of each design are available from PRSC’s headquarters on Jamaica Street and elsewhere, with proceeds going towards the group’s ongoing regeneration work in Stokes Croft. “The core idea was to take this extremely well-known and fondly remembered logo and to ask some of Bristol’s more significant graffiti artists to reinterpret it for the present day,” Chris continues. “In doing so, our graffiti artists reveal their skills as calligraphers in a

manner that is approachable, in a way that graffiti very often is not. At the same time, the idea is to adopt and re-invigorate a symbol for the city that speaks of independence of spirit and local control in an age where globalisation means that control is taken out of our hands. “We are pleased to hold the exhibition in The Bearpit, a difficult space that has been declared a Community Action Zone, and is being transformed by the efforts of local people. The concept of Stokes Croft as an outdoor gallery has taken root, and people come from afar to see these exhibitions. “The artists remind us of a period when Bristol seemed to control its destiny, while simultaneously re-appropriating this symbol of pride and independence for the city,” Chris concludes. “The Bristol Scroll was a work of beautiful calligraphy – and the work of these six artists shows them to be among the pre-eminent calligraphers of our time.”

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Joëlle Tuerlinckx WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS? Until Sunday 16 March 2014 Exhibition spaces open Tuesday–Sunday 11am – 6pm, free admission Visit arnolfini.org.uk for Christmas opening hours Arnolfini 16 Narrow Quay, Bristol BS1 4QA arnolfini.org.uk @arnolfiniarts #JoelleT (Image left) Joëlle Tuerlinckx, WOR(L)D(K) IN PROGRESS?, Arnolfini, installation view, 2013. Photo Stuart Whipps (Image right) Joëlle Tuerlinckx: Modèle originale, 2009 Supported by

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PROPERTY APARTMENT MOST WANTED Property of the week 110 at the Quay, Portishead

e’re used to seeing people queuing overnight for Wimbledon tickets, or the Harrods’ sale, but for property? While certainly unusual, this scenario was the reality for one couple, who camped out for a night in order to secure their preferred new apartment in Portishead. Phil and Julie Penver, from Yate, in South Gloucestershire, were first in the queue having slept in camping chairs outside Crest Nicholson’s 110 at the Quay development in Port Marine the night before the final phase of apartments were released for sale. Phil explained: “We currently live in a four-bedroom detached house, but now the children have grown up and have their own little ones, we thought it would be a good time to downsize. “Port Marine has undergone a stunning transformation in recent years and when we visited with the grandchildren we fell in love with the area and just knew we wanted to buy an apartment here. We considered a

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number of plots at 110 at the Quay before setting our hearts on this particular two-bedroom Shearwater apartment, which has its own roof terrace and balcony, with incredible views across the estuary. “We had already registered our interest in the final phase of apartments at 110 at the Quay before they went on sale. “So when we got the call from Crest Nicholson to say they were about to become available we knew there would be lots of interest in this particular plot and decided

we were prepared to do whatever we could to get that apartment. “Our friends and family thought we were mad, but we wrapped up warm, with lots of layers and braved the cold, and it paid off! We’re absolutely thrilled and can’t wait to move in early next year.” Combining a collection of 110 one, two and three-bedroom apartments, 110 at the Quay is near the lock gate at Port Marine. All of the apartments have a balcony or terrace and many afford far-reaching views across the Bristol Channel. Prices at 110 at the Quay currently start from £179,000, or £143,200 using the Help to Buy scheme, for a Cormorant apartment. Help to Buy enables purchasers to own their own home with just a five per cent deposit and a 75 per cent mortgage. The remaining cost of the property is funded by a 20 per cent equity loan from the Government that is interest free for the first five years. For more information, visit the on-site sales and marketing suite (open seven days a week 10am-5pm), call 0808 100 6009, email 110@crestnicholson.com, or visit www.portmarine.co.uk.

The

LONG TIME, NO SEE Watson

The return of Sherlock and your guide to wh what’s hat’s on T TV over new year

OLIVIA COLMAN’S LUCKY 13

WHAT’S ON WHEN THE BELLS CHIME

LOOK AHEAD TO 2014’S TV HIGHLIGHTS

WHAT’S COMING UP IN THE SOAPS

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o offence to Doctor Who, Gangsta Granny or even Mrs Brown, but for many viewers, the best present the BBC can give us this festive season is a new episode of Sherlock. Not only is it one of the most acclaimed dramas of the past few years, but some of us have been getting a little tired of waiting to find out just how the world’s greatest sleuth managed to fake his own death. If you didn’t see the last episode of series two, which aired all the way back in January 2012, it saw master criminal Moriarty cooking up a fiendish plan to discredit the sleuth. But not content with merely destroying his arch-rival’s reputation, he then went one step further, telling Sherlock that unless he committed suicide, everyone he cared about (admittedly, not a very long list) would be killed. The detective duly threw himself off the top of St Bartholomew’s Hospital, leaving his sidekick Dr John Watson grief-stricken – yet the final shot revealed to viewers that

Sherlock was still alive. In the two very long years that followed – it must be tough to get Freeman and Cumberbatch’s schedules synchronised now that they’re both in demand for Hollywood blockbusters – fans have had plenty of time to come up with their own theories. And now we’re finally about to find out if any of them were right. As executive producer, writer and co-creator Steven Moffat says: “It’s been a long time since Sherlock Holmes jumped off that roof – it’s time to reveal the truth about what happened between him and the pavement.” At least he and the show’s other mastermind, Mark Gatiss, should understand why viewers have been so busy speculating about they mystery – they are both Sherlock superfans too. Speaking before the start of series two, Moffat said: “We are the biggest Sherlock Holmes geeks in the world. This has become such an enormous international hit, it’s sort of preposterous, it’s like our vanity project, it’s our hobby. And yet everybody has joined in!” So, be ready to be gripped again

60 Weekend From Friday, December 27, 2013

as we catch up with Watson. As in real-life, two years have passed since the devastating events of The Reichenbach Fall, and he seems poised on the brink of domestic bliss, even if he does still miss his eccentric former roommate. But when London is threatened by a terrorist attack and Sherlock dramatically rises from the grave, will Watson be left wishing his friend had just carried on playing dead? Or can the good doctor pursue a romance with Mary Morstan (Amanda Abbington), and still get to solve crimes with old mate? Well, the creators aren’t giving too much away – and really, would we want them to? – but the signs are good that the duo will be reunited. Mark Gatiss says: “Sherlock and John Watson are back at last! And they’re just where we want them – on the streets of London having mad, thrilling adventures.” Suddenly, 2014 looks like being a very exciting year.

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NEW YEAR

FILM HIGHLIGHTS

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Retirement dreaming? Wake up to the benefits of renting at ‘The Hawthorns’ FINDING a practical solution which matches the quality of your retirement living dream may be easier said than done – and renting may not automatically spring to the top of your list of possible solutions. However, increasing numbers of UK retirees are discovering what their counterparts in America and Australia found out a few years back – that renting your retirement home offers many advantages over continued property ownership. Even more are discovering how you can continue to benefit from both! Hawthorns Retirement has brought its highly successful American formula for retirement living to the UK at Eastbourne, Clevedon and Braintree. These developments, in a nutshell, offer you continued independent living, none of the worries of home ownership and total flexibility to change your lifestyle at a month’s notice should circumstances dictate. And all this is achieved by renting your retirement home at The Hawthorns.

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Your monthly rental includes all your many monthly expenses including all your meals and snacks, utility bills, housekeeping, maintenance – even a free mini-bus to take you to the shops and back. If you sit down and calculate what you are spending on all those items living in your own home, the rental fees appears very reasonable indeed. As well as the financial argument, life at The Hawthorns offers the added benefits of security, companionship and the flexibility of handing in just one month’s notice of your decision to leave. Whilst many residents fund this idyllic retirement lifestyle from the proceeds of the sale of their home, many others opt to rent out their own property and fund their new-found lifestyle from the rental income, maintaining their property as part of their estate. Maybe you should wake up to the benefits of renting!

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13 IS LUCKY FOR SOME TV interview With two Bafta wins and a raft of goodwill, Olivia Colman’s had quite the year. As she bows out of 2013 with an eerie yarn that’s perfect for Christmas, Susan Griffin sets out to discover more about the down-to-earth star and Bristol Old Vic Theatre School alumna.

livia Colman would like to think she’s good at keeping secrets, but trying to keep the identity of the Broadchurch killer under wraps, while the nation watched transfixed earlier this year, was something else. “I’d signed so many bits of paper, I thought I was going to be arrested if I twitched at the wrong point and gave it away,” says the petite, dark-haired actress, laughing as she recalls the drama that focused on a tight-knit community in the aftermath of a boy’s murder. The second series is already in the pipeline, but Colman, who played DS Ellie Miller, is nervous about divulging too much. “I don’t know anything,” she says, putting her hands up. “I’m so terrified of saying something I’m not supposed to.” She’s happy to ponder the reasons for the series’ success though. “It didn’t patronise anybody, which I think people forget sometimes when they’re making programmes for the British viewing public. We’re an intelligent bunch,” says the actress, who studied at Cambridge. It was while there that she met her future Peep Show co-stars David Mitchell and Robert Webb, before enrolling at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School. There was a stint on a secretarial course, “to keep my head above water”, but today, there’s no holding her back, and she’s received plaudits for roles as diverse as an abused single mother in gritty series Run, and as a young Queen Mother in Hyde Park On Hudson. But the understated star’s aghast at the notion of being over-exposed, when it’s suggested she must be one of the hardest working women in the industry. “It was unfortunate that they’ve put everything out in the last few months. I’m like, ‘Don’t do that, everyone’s going to get bored!’” There isn’t much chance of that. And no doubt viewers will be looking forward to seeing her back on screen this Christmas, when BBC Two airs the 90-minute drama The Thirteenth Tale. Adapted from Diane Setterfield’s best-selling novel, by the Oscar-winning screenwriter Christopher Hampton (Atonement, Dangerous Liaisons), it’s a haunting psychological mystery set in the modern day but with poignant flashbacks starting in 1940. Its eeriness makes it perfect viewing on a cold, winter’s night, although Colman would probably avoid doing that alone. “I’m a big chicken,” she reveals. “On Broadchurch, Jodie Whittaker and I were flatmates and there was a really, really bad horror on. She said [puts Whittaker’s Yorkshire accent on], ‘I mean, it’s not even classed as horror, it’s rubbish’, and I had to go and wee with the door open so I could see her. I’m terrible.” Colman plays a female biographer called Margaret in the new drama, who sets out to interview the legendary but frail writer Vida Winter (Vanessa Redgrave) who, until this point, has refused to divulge

70 Weekend From Friday, December 27, 2013

the dark secrets of her life and past. “I was really excited and really nervous,” says Colman on meeting Redgrave for the first time. “I kept waking up in a cold sweat thinking, ‘She doesn’t like me’, and then realising we hadn’t met.” Margaret doesn’t really know why Vida’s chosen her and isn’t sure why she accepts the job, but as the two women talk, an unlikely shared empathy is cultivated. “It turns out Vida had a twin sister and both grew up feral in the old mansion without any parental love, and the only grown-up interaction being with the housekeeper and gardener. Margaret can’t go once she’s started to hear Vida’s story.” After The Thirteenth Tale, Colman will appear in the extra-marital affair drama The 7.39, alongside Sheridan Smith and David Morrissey, and beyond that, a movie called The Lobster, in which she and Ben Whishaw are part of a group who are told to find partners or face being turned into animals. “It’s an amazing, bonkers script, which is unlike anything else I’ve read.” Colman’s versatility is one of the reasons she’s already been dubbed “the next Judi Dench”. Although flattered, the comparison leaves the 39-year-old feeling a little uncomfortable. “You’ll get people forever going, ‘But she’s nothing like Judi Dench’,” she says, laughing goofily and with her hands tucked nervously between her knees. “But she’s [Dench] amazing and has always worked and been deliciously private, everything I admire, so the fact someone’s put us in the same sentence is lovely.” Like Dench, Colman traverses easily between comedy and drama, as proven at this year’s TV Baftas, where she won two gongs. “You know really cool people keep them in the downstairs loo. I’m really un-cool and they’re on the fireplace,” she says, grinning. The first award was for her subtle, comedic performance in Twenty Twelve, which followed the fictional team responsible for organising the 2012 Olympics, and the second for her turn in Jimmy McGovern’s hard-hitting court drama Accused. The evening, she says, remains a blur. “I watched the speeches back and I can’t believe I forgot the director’s name, so thankfully I got another go,” she says. Colman, who was born in Norfolk, didn’t celebrate into the small hours, though. “After dinner, I said to my husband [Ed, with whom she has two sons], ‘Can we go? I want to put my comfy socks on’. So we snuck off and had a cup of tea.” She’s looking forward to more cosy times this month; Christmas is her favourite time of year. “I’m usually a bit of a fascist about weekend mornings. The boys have a clock and if it’s before eight o’clock, then they have to read or go back to sleep. After eight we can all play, but on Christmas morning I’m going, ‘Get up!’” she says, clapping her hands excitedly. “Ooh, I just love it.”

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From Friday, December 27, 2013

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F you want to usher in the new year with some great music AND know when the midnight hour comes chiming, then BBC2 is the channel to turn to. Once again, it’s turned to a tried and trusted favourite, Jools’ Annual Hootenanny 2013 (BBC Two, 11.30pm), by way of celebrating the arrival of 2014. This annual music extravaganza has become as synonymous with December 31 as Auld Lang Syne. Now in its 21st year, the latest guests include one of the most influential musicians of the past

few decades, Ray Davies. Eighties and Nineties chart regular Lisa Stansfield is also still going strong, as this performance should prove. Riding high on the success of the Sunshine on Leith movie, the Proclaimers will be dropping into the studio, too, along with Melanie C. And if that lot isn’t enough to leave you tapping your foot, there’s always Rudimental; the Lumineers; soul star Laura Mvula; Haim, the Gap Band’s Charlie Wilson; Yorkshire’s own John Newman, and Hootenanny regular Ruby Turner, along with Jools’ own Rhythm and Blues

Orchestra. The new year, of course, will be ushered in by the pipes and drums of the 1st Battalion of The Scots Guards. Elsewhere, BBC1 brings us Big Ben’s midnight chimes and London’s fireworks from 11.55pm, while ITV1 just has a news bulletin followed by new year bongs at midnight. Best of the rest on the big night are: Alan Carr’s New Year Specstacular (Channel 4, 9pm) with James Corden, Tinie Tempah, Keith Lemon, rugby hunk Ben Cohen and model/ presenter Abbey Clancy. Gary Barlow’s Big Ben Bash

Live (BBC One, 11.15pm). This gig comes from the Central Hall in London’s Westminster. Some of the old Take That favourites are present and correct, and there’s yet another chance for Gary to plug his new solo album. Gate-crashing the show at midnight will be the chimes of Big Ben. Jason Manford delivers a verdict on the outgoing 12 months with 2013: A Funny Old Year (ITV1, 10.15pm). Expect a humorous look at the good – and bad – of the year past.

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CHARLIE BROOKER’S 2013 WIPE 10.40pm, BBC2

DEATH COMES TO PEMBERLEY 9pm, BBC1

The writer and broadcaster takes a satirical look back at the events of the past 12 months, which included the horse-meat scandal and the charging of athlete Oscar Pistorius with the murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Charlie also comments on the leaking of NSA intelligence documents by Edward Snowden.

TV PICKS

Elizabeth remains aggrieved at Darcy’s treatment of Georgiana, but her immediate concern is for her sister Lydia.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen (S,HD). 11.30 Nigel Slater’s New Year Suppers (R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). 12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00 Regional News (S,HD). 1.15 F1 2013 – A Record Breaking Year (S,HD). 2.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 3.15 Call the Midwife: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.10 Regional News (S,HD). 5.30 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.40 Natural World: Grizzlies of Alaska (R,S,HD). 7.40 Antiques Road Trip (S). 8.40 Antiques Road Trip (S). 9.40 Africa (R,S,HD). 10.40 Film: Ice Princess (S). (2005) ●●● 12.10 Film: Revenge of the Bridesmaids (S,HD). (2010) ●●● 1.35 Film: The Accidental Husband (S). (2008) ●● 3.00 Ben & James Versus the Arabian Desert (R,S,HD). 4.00 Flog It! (S). 5.00 Film: The Guns of Navarone (S). (1961) ●●●●

THE CUBE: CELEBRITY SPECIAL 8pm, ITV

50 FUNNIEST MOMENTS 2013 9pm, Channel 4

Loose Women’s Sherrie Hewson and Lisa Maxwell and Denise Welch take on the Cube together, and Olympic gold medallist Greg Rutherford tackles the challenge solo.

ITV

6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 The Home of Fabulous Cakes (R,S,HD). 10.30 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 11.30 ITV News (S).; Weather 11.35 Dinner Date (R,S). 12.35 Midsomer Murders (R,S,HD). A nun is found strangled. 2.35 The One and Only Cilla Black (R,S,HD). 4.05 Off Their Rockers (R,S,HD). 4.35 Paul O’Grady: For the Love of Dogs at Christmas (R,S). 5.35 Regional News (S). 5.45 ITV News (S).; Weather

A countdown of the most hilarious, surprising and sometimes shocking incidents from the past 12 months, from Miley Cyrus hitting the headlines to Prince Harry’s skill with helicopters. Danny Dyer, Charlotte Crosby, Russell Kane and Helen Flanagan are among those contributing their thoughts.

Channel 4

6.15 Film: Ramona and Beezus (S,HD). (2010) Family comedy, starring Joey King. ●●● 8.00 The Morning Line (S). A look ahead to today’s meeting at Chepstow. 9.00 The American Football Show (S). 10.00 Frasier (R,S). 11.00 The Big Bang Theory (S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 1.00 Channel 4 Racing (S). Live coverage from Chepstow and Newbury. 3.35 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD). 5.40 Channel 4 News (S).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.45 Chinese Food in Minutes (R,S). 9.55 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.25 Film: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (S,HD). (1968) ●●●● 1.15 Film: Oklahoma! (S,HD). (1955) Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical Western, with Gordon MacRae. ●●●● 4.00 Film: The Princess Bride (S). (1987) ●●●●● 5.50 Film: Michael Jackson’s This Is It (S,HD). (2009) Documentary following the singer in rehearsal. ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

7.00 All Star Family Fortunes (S,HD). 1/10. New series. A team from Dancing on Ice and some of the stars of Coronation Street compete for the chance to win cash for charity.

8.15 Atlantis (S,HD). 13/13. Part two of two. Ariadne is found guilty of treason and sentenced to death. Last in the series.

8.00 100 Years of the Palladium (R,S). Cliff Richard, Bruce Forsyth and Andrew Lloyd Webber are among the stars sharing the gossip, glamour and behind-the-scenes goingson of one of the world’s most famous theatres.

8.00 The Cube: Celebrity Special (S). Loose Women’s Sherrie Hewson and Lisa Maxwell and former co-panellist Denise Welch take on the Cube together, and Olympic gold medallist Greg Rutherford tackles the challenge solo.

7.00 The Italian Job (S,HD). (1969) A crook recruits a gang to steal $4million in gold bullion and make a quick getaway from central Turin in a fleet of Minis. Crime comedy, starring Michael Caine and Noel Coward. ●●●●●

9.00 Death Comes to Pemberley (S,HD). 3/3. Elizabeth remains aggrieved at Darcy’s treatment of Georgiana, but the indiscretions that come to light during Wickham’s murder trial help to reunite the family. Last in the series.

9.00 I Am Number Four (S,HD). (2011) Premiere. A teenager with special powers is forced to live as a fugitive from aliens determined to hunt him down. Sci-fi thriller, starring Alex Pettyfer and Timothy Olyphant. ●●

9.00 The Jonathan Ross Show (S,HD). The host is joined by naturalist David Attenborough, comedian John Bishop, chef Jamie Oliver, actor Ray Winstone and rap duo Rizzle Kicks. Susan Boyle provides the music.

10.00 The National Lottery Live (S,HD). Chris Evans reveals the results. 10.10 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 10.30 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents highlights. Followed by National Lottery Update.

10.40 Charlie Brooker’s 2013 Wipe (S). A satirical look back at the events of the past 12 months, which included the horse-meat scandal, the death of Margaret Thatcher and the US government shutdown.

10.15 ITV News (S).; Weather 10.30 The Holiday (S,HD). (2006) Two single women from opposite sides of the Atlantic find love after they swap houses over Christmas. Romantic comedy, starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black and Jude Law. ●●

11.50 Rogue (S,HD). (2007) Premiere. A party of tourists on a boat trip in an uncharted part of the Australian Outback is attacked by a ferocious crocodile. Thriller, with Radha Mitchell and Michael Vartan. ●●

11.40 Ambassadors (R,S,HD). 2/3. The embassy is thrown into chaos when a dissident seeks sanctuary and a minor royal travels to Tazbekistan in his capacity as trade envoy. Tom Hollander guest stars.

1.30 Weatherview (S). 1.35 BBC News (S,HD).

12.40 Film: The Curse of Frankenstein (S,HD). (1957) Hammer horror, starring Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. ●●●● 2.00 Sign Zone: Killer Whales: Beneath the Surface – Natural World (R,S). 3.00 The Silent War (R,S). 4.00 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

▼

7.30 Dad’s Army (R,S). 6/6. Mainwaring organises a Christmas treat.

▼

6.00 George Clarke’s Amazing Christmas Spaces (R,S,HD). The architect visits a man-made stalactite crystal grotto in Surrey.

▼

after

50 Funniest Moments 2013, 9pm

6.00 The Chase: Celebrity Special (S,HD). 14/14. With Rebecca Adlington, Kate Garraway, Ritchie Neville and Rosemary Shrager. Last in the series.

▼

The Chase: Celebrity Special, 6pm

▼

100 Years of the Palladium, 8pm

▼

6 7 8 9

Match of the Day, 10.30pm 6.00 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD). New series. Featuring Stephanie Beacham, Emma Samms, Anne Diamond and Rustie Lee. 6.50 Up (S,HD). (2009) Animated adventure, with the voice of Ed Asner. ●●●●●

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1.00 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

9.00 50 Funniest Moments 2013 (S). A countdown of the most hilarious, surprising and sometimes shocking incidents from the past 12 months, with contributions from Danny Dyer, Russell Kane and Helen Flanagan.

The Dog Rescuers, 9.55am

8.00 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (S,HD). 8/11. The third heat from Haitang Bay in Sanya, China. 8.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

9.00 Abduction (S,HD). (2011) Premiere. A teenager realises he was abducted as a child and goes in search of his real identity as shadowy agents pursue him. Action thriller, with Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins. ●●

11.05 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 5/6. The lads visit a Caravan Club meeting. 11.35 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 6/6. Will organises the Christmas prom.

11.05 Superbad (S,HD). (2007) Two teenagers hope to lose their virginity at a party – but to get into the bash they must take booze, which proves harder than expected. Comedy, with Jonah Hill. ●●●●

12.05 The Inbetweeners (R,S). Will helps co-ordinate the school’s Duke of Edinburgh award scheme. 12.35 Film: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (HD). (2009) Mystery thriller, starring Michael Nyqvist and Noomi Rapace. ●●●● 3.10 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 5.25 Suburgatory (S,HD). 5.50 The Treacle People (R,S).

1.25 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 4.00 My Depression Diaries: Kerry Katona (S,HD). 4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

MOONFLEET 8pm, Sky1

James Richardson presents action from the third heat from Haitang Bay in Sanya, China, as another six competitors aimed to finish in the top two and make it through to the final.

ITV2

6.00 Tinie Tempah: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10 Coronation Street (S,HD). 9.15 Emmerdale (S,HD). 12.40 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 1.10 Peter Andre: My Life at Christmas (R,S,HD). 2.15 Cinderella (R,S). 3.45 Film: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (S,HD) (2005). Sci-fi adventure prequel, starring Hayden Christensen. ●●●●

Star Wars … 6.30pm

Ray Winstone stars in this two-part adaptation of John Meade Falkner’s 19th-century novel following the adventures of an orphan and a grizzled smuggler thrown together on a dangerous quest to find a fabled diamond. Aneurin Barnard, Phil Daniels and Ben Chaplin co-star.

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 Charmed (R,S). 7.10 Olive, the Other Reindeer (R,S). 8.10 Lost and Found (R,S,HD). 8.40 The Bear (R,S). 9.10 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 9.35 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 11.30 Film: Planet 51 (S,HD) (2009). ●●● 1.15 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.10 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 3.05 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.05 Film: Alvin and the Chipmunks (S,HD) (2007). Children’s comedy. ●●

The Final Destination, 11pm

6.30 Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (S,HD) (1977). Sci-fi adventure, with Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford. ●●●●●

9.00 The Bourne Supremacy (S,HD) (2004). The amnesiac assassin is framed for a botched CIA operation and faces a fight for survival as he tries to uncover his past. Action thriller sequel, with Matt Damon and Brian Cox. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

Sky1

6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Fantasy Football Club. 10.00 Soccer AM. 12.00 WWE Superstars. 1.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Smurfs: A Christmas Carol (R). 2.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 3.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S).

FILM PICKS

WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN 2013 8pm, Channel 5

UP 6.50pm, BBC1

GOLD

6.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 8.00 Open All Hours (S). 8.40 Porridge (S). 9.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 10.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 12.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1.40 You, Me & Them (S). 2.20 Open All Hours (S). 3.00 Porridge (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. A comic look at soaps and celebrities.

Moonfleet, 8pm

Miranda, 9pm

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 10/22. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 13/22.

6.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). The Trotters lose their millions. Christmas special from 2001.

7.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12/24. Robin receives bad news. 7.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 9/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 15/22. Flanders is plagued with guilt after punching Homer. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 4/22.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/24. Sheldon has to take care of Amy when she falls ill. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 10/23. Leonard seeks relationship advice from Penny.

8.00 Moonfleet (HD). 1/2. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. 3/7. Messrs Corbett and Barker reminisce about sketches including Home Rule for Ruislip, Crossed Lines and the Phantom Raspberry Blower.

9.00 Hot Tub Time Machine (S,HD) (2010). Three unhappy friends travel back in time to their youth in 1986 and are tempted to give themselves the lives they always wanted. Sci-fi comedy, starring John Cusack and Clark Duke. ●●●

9.00 Mad Dogs: The Finale (HD). 1/2. Max Beesley, Philip Glenister, John Simm and Marc Warren return for the fourth and final chapter, which sees the lads back in Britain and trying to turn their lives around.

9.00 Miranda (S). 3/6. Penny urges Miranda to improve her career prospects. 9.40 Not Going Out (S). 3/8. Guy’s constant presence in the flat angers Lee.

11.10 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 11/13. With Little Mix, Eamonn Holmes, Mark Francis and Chris Ramsey. 11.50 Plebs (R,S,HD). 1/6.

11.00 The Final Destination (S,HD) (2009). Horror sequel, starring Bobby Campo. ●●●

12.25 Plebs (R,S,HD). 12.55 Plebs (R,S,HD). 1.25 Plebs (R,S,HD). 1.50 Plebs (R,S,HD). 2.15 Plebs (R,S,HD). 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 4.05 Girlfriends (R,S,HD). 4.55 Girlfriends (R,S,HD). 5.45 Little Mix: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD).

12.40 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). 2.40 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.05 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 4.10 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 4.50 Charmed (R,S).

THE ITALIAN JOB 7pm, Channel 4

An old man uses balloons to fly his house to South America, but finds an excitable boy scout has stowed away. Animated adventure, with the voice of Ed Asner.

A crook recruits a gang to steal $4million in gold bullion and make a quick getaway from central Turin in a fleet of Minis. Crime comedy, starring Michael Caine.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Goals. 6.30 FL72 Preview (HD). 7.30 Premier League Preview (HD). 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00 Mini Game Changers. 10.00 Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 Live Saturday Football (HD). West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion. 3.00 Soccer Saturday (HD). 5.00 Live Saturday Night Football (HD). Cardiff City v Sunderland.

Live Football, 5pm

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes 2013 (R,S,HD). 7.15 Top Gear Botswana Special (R,S). The team faces a challenge in Botswana. 8.15 Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (S,HD) (2008). Animated adventure, with the voice of Ben Stiller. ●● 9.35 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). With Sean Lock and John Bishop. 10.20 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra (R,S,HD). 11.05 Family Guy (R,S). 11.30 Family Guy (R,S). 11.50 Family Guy (R,S).

12.15 Family Guy (R,S). 12.40 Film: Anuvahood (S,HD) (2011). ●● 2.05 Sweat the Small Stuff Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 2.35 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 3.05 Some Girls 3.35 Going 8.00 SNF – Game of the Day (R,S,HD). Native (R,S,HD).

(HD). Sarah-Jane Mee presents a full re-run of the day’s top Premier League match.

10.20 You, Me & Them (S). 10.00 The Karate Kid (HD) 10.00 SNF – Match Choice 3/6. Alan gets in the way (1984). A teenager is (HD). Sarah-Jane Mee of Ed’s plans for trained in martial arts by presents extended domestic bliss. a wise old man so he can highlights from the compete in a Premier League, tournament and take on allowing viewers to the bullies who have access the latest round of tormented him. Drama, top-flight fixtures, with Ralph Macchio and including Norwich City v Pat Morita. ●●● Manchester United.

BBC4

7.00 Horizon: The Secret Life of the Cat (R,HD). 8.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (HD). 9.00 The Bermuda Triangle: Beneath the Waves (R). 10.00 Endeavour: Everest by Canoe (HD). 10.45 Queen Live in Budapest: Hungarian Rhapsody (R). A performance by the rock band during the 1986 Magic Tour. 12.20 Sounds of the 70s 2 Soul – Keep On Keeping On (R). 12.50 The High Art of the Low Countries (R,HD). 1.50 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (R,HD). 2.50 Horizon: The Secret Life of the Cat (R).

SATURDAY December 28

11.00 Gimme Gimme 11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). Gimme (S). 3/6. Linda Action from the Football dates a serial killer. League. 11.40 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 6/6. Edina goes away to find herself. 12.25 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 1.25 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 2.40 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.30 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 4.00 Omid Djalili’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 Alison Steadman’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 5.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S).

Christmas Offers

12.15 Miranda (S). Penny urges Miranda to improve her career prospects. 12.55 Not Going Out (S). 1.25 Gimme Gimme Gimme (S). 1.55 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. Sketches including the Phantom Raspberry Blower. 2.40 Rex the Runt. 3.00 Close

44MM TRIPLE GLAZED WINDOWS

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (HD). 1.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 2.30 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 4.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 5.30 FL72 Highlights (HD).

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MICHAEL PALIN IN WYETH’S WORLD 9pm, BBC2

TV PICKS

ANTIQUES ROADSHOW 7pm, BBC1

Updates on the most talked-about finds of the past 12 months, including an item that delivered the largest sale price of any roadshow item.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.10 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 10.30 Film: Father of the Bride Part II (S,HD). (1995) ●● 12.15 MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Wallace & Gromit: A Close Shave (R,S,HD). 1.45 Shrek: The Pig Who Cried Werewolf (S,HD). 1.55 Film: Monsters vs Aliens (S,HD). (2009) ●●●● 3.20 That Puppet Game Show (S,HD). 4.00 Comic Relief 2013: 100 Million Laughs (S,HD). 5.00 Songs of Praise (S,HD). 5.35 Regional News (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Monty Python star Michael Palin heads to rural Pennsylvania and Maine to explore the life and work of Andrew Wyeth, one of America’s most popular and controversial artists. He goes in search of the real-life stories that inspired Wyeth’s depictions of the US landscape and its hard-working inhabitants.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.10 Natural World: Bringing Up Baby (R,S). 7.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 8.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 9.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites (S,HD). 11.30 The A to Z of TV Cooking (S). 12.15 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. 3.15 Ben & James Versus the Arabian Desert (R,S,HD). 4.15 Flog It! (S). 5.15 Film: Force 10 from Navarone (S,HD). (1978) ●●

MORECAMBE & WISE: THE CURTAINS 8pm, BBC2

Penelope Keith presents a look through the archives at routines from the parts of the comedy duo’s shows in which they chatted to each other – and to their guests.

ITV

6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 Storage Hoarders (R,S,HD). 10.30 Sunday Side Up (S,HD). 11.30 Sunday Scoop (S). 12.30 ITV News (S).; Weather 12.35 Inside the National Trust (S,HD). A Lake District ranger launches a rescue mission. 1.35 Midsomer Murders (R,S,HD). The president of an ornithological society is killed. 3.35 Love Your Garden (R,S,HD). 4.35 Just Henry (R,S,HD). One-off period drama, starring Josh Bolt and Elaine Cassidy.

CHRISTMAS CATCHPHRASE 7pm, ITV

Stephen Mulhern hosts a festive special of the game show, challenging Carol Vorderman, Michael Ball and Michelle Collins to see it and say it. Thousands of pounds for charity is up for grabs as the contestants compete to identify a series of well-known phrases.

Channel 4

6.00 The American Football Show (R,S). 6.55 Film: Boo, Zino and the Snurks (S). (2004) ●● 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 9.30 Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 1.30 Film: Inkheart (S,HD). (2008) ●●● 3.30 Channel 4 News (S). 3.55 Film: Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (S,HD). (2004) Comedy, starring Jim Carrey. ●●●

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.55 Inside Hollywood 10.00 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.25 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 11.25 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 12.25 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD). 1.30 Film: 21 (S,HD). (2008) Drama, starring Kevin Spacey. ●●● 3.45 Film: Yanks (S,HD). (1979) Romantic drama, starring Richard Gere and Lisa Eichhorn. ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

after

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6.20 Snow White (S). (2001) Fairytale fantasy, starring Kristin Kreuk. ●●

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World’s Strongest Man 2013, 8pm

6.00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (R,S). Festive special, with Danniella Westbrook, Louie Spence, Sinitta and Hugo Taylor.

7.00 Christmas Catchphrase (S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.00 Bear’s Wild Weekend with Stephen Fry (R,S,HD). Bear Grylls takes the QI host on an expedition to the Italian Dolomites.

7.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

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Speed with Guy Martin, 8pm

6.35 Regional News (S).; Weather 6.45 ITV News (S).; Weather

7.15 Porridge (R,S). Christmas special from 1976. Fletch is caught making booze in his cell.

8.00 Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (S,HD). (2011) Premiere. Captain Jack Sparrow’s search for the fountain of youth leads to a battle with the dreaded pirate Blackbeard. Fantasy adventure sequel, with Johnny Depp. ●●

8.00 Morecambe & Wise: The Curtains (S). See Choices Above.

8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple (S,HD). 3/3. A couple are targeted in a campaign of hatred after they ignore a gypsy’s warnings and build a home at a supposedly cursed beauty spot. Then tragedy strikes. Last in the series.

8.00 Speed with Guy Martin (S). 1/4. New series. The motorcycle racer takes part in four adrenaline-fuelled challenges, beginning with an attempt to break the British record for outright speed on a bicycle.

8.00 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (S,HD). 9/11. James Richardson presents action from the fourth heat from Haitang Bay in Sanya, China, where the top two of six competitors would progress to the final.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special (S). See Choices Above.

9.00 An Audience with Bruce Forsyth (R,S). See Choices Above.

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9.00 Michael Palin in Wyeth’s World (S,HD). See Choices Above.

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Agatha Christie’s Marple, 8pm

7.00 Antiques Roadshow (S,HD). 11/26. See Choices Above.

10.05 Regional News (S,HD). 10.30 Match of the Day 2 (S,HD). Mark Chapman reviews the latest Premier League action, which included Chelsea v Liverpool at Stamford Bridge and Everton v Southampton at Goodison Park.

10.00 QI (S,HD). 14/18. Festive edition, with Jo Brand, Phill Jupitus and Brendan O’Carroll. 10.30 2013: Moments in Time (R,S). The story of 2013 told through the most powerful images captured by members of the public.

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QI, 10pm

6.00 Countryfile (S,HD). Ellie Harrison recalls endangered animals featured on the programme.

11.50 The Football League Show (S). Manish Bhasin presents highlights and all the goals from today’s fixtures in the Championship, League One and League Two, including Watford v Queens Park Rangers.

11.30 Top of the Pops 2: Christmas 2013 (R,S). Mark Radcliffe presents festive favourites from the archive.

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6 7 8 9

Countryfile, 6pm

1.05 Weatherview (S). 1.10 BBC News (S,HD).

1.00 Ambassadors (R,S,HD). The Tazbek people rise up against their government. Last in the series. 2.00 Film: The Abominable Snowman (S,HD). (1957) Hammer horror, starring Peter Cushing. ●●● 3.25 Sign Zone: Countryfile Christmas Special (R,S). 4.20 Holby City (R,S). 5.20 This Is BBC Two (S).

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10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).; Weather 10.15 The Break-Up (S,HD). (2006) See Choices Above. ●●

12.10 Premiership Rugby Union (HD). Highlights of the latest top-flight fixtures. 1.10 The Store Home shopping. 2.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

10.00 Rude Tube’s Christmas Cracker 2013 (S). Alex Zane presents a countdown of 50 memorable festive internet videos, including the laziest set of fairy lights, Santa’s machinegun grotto and the Christmas tree-Olympics.

10.05 Bruce Forsyth’s Comedy Heroes (R,S). The entertainer discusses his favourite comics, including Max Miller, Laurel and Hardy and Harry Hill. Contributors include Michael Grade, Jimmy Tarbuck and Barry Cryer.

11.05 Mashed 2013 (S). Digitally enhanced round-up of 2013’s big news events. 11.40 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 6/6. The friends prepare for their exams. Last in the series.

11.05 Shirley Valentine (S). (1989) See Choices Above. ●●●●

12.10 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 1.10 American Football Live (S). All the action from a match in the NFL. 4.45 Brief Encounters of the Sporting Mind (R,S). 4.50 Countdown (R,S,HD). Word game with Richard Madeley. 5.35 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD).

1.15 SuperCasino 3.05 Louis Smith: Living with ADHD (S,HD). 3.55 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 Roary the Racing Car (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.30 The Funky Valley Show (R,S). 5.40 Roary the Racing Car (R,S).

AN AUDIENCE WITH BRUCE FORSYTH 9pm, Channel 5

Team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Holly Willoughby, Henning Wehn, Alan Davies, Nick Helm, Joe Wilkinson and Roisin Conaty. Jimmy Carr hosts.

ITV2

6.00 Union J: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.15 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 12.50 The Xtra Factor: Boys All-Time Best and Worst (R,S). 1.50 Film: Peter Pan (S,HD) (2003). ●●● 4.00 Film: Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (S,HD) (1977). Sci-fi adventure, with Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford. ●●●●●

The versatile veteran entertainer reveals his many talents in a feast of song, dance and humour recorded in 1997 in front of a VIP audience, who get the chance to quiz him about his remarkable career. Among those who join him on stage are Ian Wright, Ken Morley, Jimmy Hill and Matthew Pinsent.

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.10 Charmed (R,S). 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 9.00 Suburgatory (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.35 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 1.40 Come Dine with Me: Made in Chelsea Special (R,S,HD). 2.40 Lost and Found (R,S,HD). 3.10 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). 3.40 Film: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (S,HD) (2009). ●● 5.25 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).

Sky1

6.00 Hour of Power. 7.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 9.30 Rebecca Front’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 10.00 WWE Superstars (R). 11.00 WWE: Experience. 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle (R,S,HD). 2.00 Film: The Karate Kid (HD) (1984). Martial arts drama, starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. ●●● 4.30 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 5.30 The Simpsons (R,S).

FILM PICKS

8 OUT OF 10 CATS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 8pm, Channel 4

THE BREAK-UP 10.15pm, ITV

GOLD

6.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 8.00 Open All Hours (S). 8.40 Porridge (S). 9.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 10.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 12.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). The Trotters lose their millions. Christmas special from 2001. 1.40 You, Me & Them (S). 2.20 Open All Hours (S). 3.00 Porridge (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Shaun of the Dead, 9pm

Die Hard 2, 9pm

Mad Dogs: The Finale, 9pm

You, Me & Them, 10.20pm

6.30 Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (S,HD) (1980). Sci-fi adventure sequel, with Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford. ●●●●●

6.25 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 23/24. Part one of two. Lily goes into labour.

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 14/22. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 17/22. Homer must save his marriage.

6.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2002. The Trotters go to France.

7.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 12/24. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 10/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 18/22. Homer is recruited to be a deacon by the trendy new reverend. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 16/22.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/24. Leonard’s car is stolen. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 14/24. Sheldon is forced to work with Kripke.

8.00 Moonfleet (S,HD). 2/2. John and Elzevir set sail for a new life in France, until they realise Blackbeard’s locket could lead them to the diamond.

8.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. 4/7. More of the duo’s favourite moments, including the Mastermind sketch and more of the Phantom Raspberry Blower’s nefarious deeds.

9.00 Die Hard 2 (S,HD) (1990). A lone cop battles terrorists who have taken over an airport to force the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis and Bonnie Bedelia. ●●●

9.00 Mad Dogs: The Finale (HD). 2/2. The last ever episode sees the lads try to turn their lives around with a plan to pocket two million euros each. Max Beesley, Philip Glenister, John Simm and Marc Warren star.

9.00 Miranda (S). 4/6. A hotel stay adds excitement to Miranda’s life. 9.40 Not Going Out (S). 4/8. Lee and Tim babysit Guy’s grandson.

9.00 Shaun of the Dead (S,HD) (2004). An aimless man decides to get his life back on track just as zombies start to roam the streets of London to feast on the living. Comedy horror, with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Including FYI Daily. ●●●●

SHIRLEY VALENTINE 11.05pm, Channel 5

A couple’s relationship comes to an end, but neither wants to give up their home. Comedy drama, starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.

10.00 A League of Their Own: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 13/13. Festive edition of the sports-based comedy quiz, with guests Ricky Hatton and Ruth Jones. Presented by James Corden.

10.20 You, Me & Them (S). 4/6. Ed and Lauren attend a funeral.

A housewife is freed from her humdrum existence when a Greek holiday offers her the chance to experience the good life. Comedy, starring Pauline Collins.

Sky Sports 1

6.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD). 7.30 Game Changers (HD). 8.30 FL72 Highlights (HD). 9.00 The Sunday Supplement (HD). 10.30 Goals on Sunday (HD). A review of yesterday’s football action. 12.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Newcastle United v Arsenal (Kick-off 1.30pm). 3.30 Live Super Sunday (HD). Chelsea v Liverpool (Kick-off 4.00pm).

Live Super Sunday, 3.30pm

7.00 Live World PDC Darts Championship (HD). Coverage of the concluding two quarterfinals at the Alexandra Palace in London, where the line-up for the semifinals will be decided.

BBC3

7.00 Doctor Who: The Ultimate Guide (R,S,HD). An in-depth look at the sci-fi show. 9.00 Top Gear Polar Special (R,S,HD). A land race from Canada to the North Pole. 10.05 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 10.35 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 11.05 Family Guy (R,S). Double-length episode. Peter tells a story spoofing Star Wars. 11.50 Starship Troopers (S) (1997). Sci-fi adventure, starring Casper Van Dien. ●●●● 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.15 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.45 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 3.30 Bluestone 42 Christmas Special (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 Snow Babies (R,HD). Young animals surviving in some of the coldest places on Earth. 8.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (HD). How diversity in the natural world has come from genetic mutation. 9.00 Scott of the Antarctic (1948). Fact-based drama, starring John Mills. ●●●● 10.45 Endeavour: Everest Without Oxygen (HD). 11.35 Nasa – Triumph and Tragedy (R). Part one of two. America’s leading role in the space race. 12.35 The High Art of the Low Countries (R,HD). 1.35 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (R,HD). 2.35 The Bridge (R,HD).

SUNDAY 10.30 Darts Gold (HD). Phil Taylor v Michael van Gerwen. 10.45 Darts Gold (HD). Phil Taylor v Wayne Mardle.

11.00 Pitch Black (S,HD) (2000). Sci-fi horror, starring Vin Diesel and Radha Mitchell. ●●●

11.25 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/23. Sheldon becomes obsessed with gift-giving etiquette. 11.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/23.

11.00 Banshee (R,S). 4/10. Hood steals a painting from a museum in Harrisburg.

11.00 Gimme Gimme 11.00 Football Special (HD). Gimme (S). 4/6. Linda Chelsea v Liverpool and plans Tom’s 30th Newcastle United v birthday. Arsenal. 11.40 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 8/8. Patsy is rushed to hospital.

1.05 MC Hammer’s Big Shot Academy (R,S,HD). 2.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). 3.15 Film: No Reservations (S,HD) (2007). ●●● 5.00 Girlfriends (R,S,HD). 5.50 Conor Maynard: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD).

12.25 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2013 (R,S,HD). Alex Zane presents 100 memorable internet clips. 2.30 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). Cleveland and his son celebrate Black History Month. 2.55 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.15 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus.

12.15 An Idiot Abroad 3 (R,S,HD). 1.15 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2.15 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 3.30 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 4.00 Alison Steadman’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 Joanna Lumley’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 5.00 Luton Airport (R,S).

12.20 Miranda (S). A hotel stay adds excitement to Miranda’s life. 1.00 Not Going Out (S). Lee and Tim babysit Guy’s grandson. 1.30 Gimme Gimme Gimme (S). Linda plans Tom’s 30th birthday. 2.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. Lucie Silvas guests. 2.50 Rex the Runt. 3.00 Close

December

12.30 Football. Action from recent matches. 1.00 World PDC Darts Championship (HD). The concluding two quarter-finals. 4.30 Darts Gold (HD). Phil Taylor v Michael van Gerwen. 4.45 Darts Gold (HD). 5.00 Darts Gold (HD). 5.15 Darts Gold (HD). 5.30 Darts Gold (HD). 5.45 Darts Gold (HD).

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TV PICKS

MRS BROWN’S BOYS NEW YEAR SPECIAL 9.30pm, BBC1

TWIT OF THE YEAR 10pm, Channel 4

In the second of two festive episodes, the doting mother gets lumbered with a homeless parrot. Brendan O’Carroll stars.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.10 Film: Bridge to Terabithia (S). (2007) ●●●● 10.40 Film: Sky High (S,HD). (2005) ●●●● 12.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.10 Regional News (S). 1.20 The One Show: Best of 2013 (S,HD). 1.50 A Question of Sport: Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 2.20 Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out (R,S,HD). 2.45 Film: WALL.E (S,HD). (2008) ●●●●● 4.15 Film: Mary Poppins (S,HD). (1964) ●●●●●

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Leading comedians and prolific celebrity tweeters take a look back at the biggest socialmedia gaffes and triumphs that got the nation talking in 2013. From misdemeanours and meltdowns to the unlikely events that set timelines alight, the programme reveals who deserves the title of Twit of the Year.

BBC2

6.30 Natural World: Komodo – Secrets of the Dragon (R,S,HD). 7.30 Sign Zone: The House That £100K Built (R,S). 8.30 Britain’s Empty Homes (R,S). 9.00 Africa (R,S,HD). 10.00 Earthflight (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 2.00 Film: Ice Station Zebra (S). (1968) ●●● 4.20 Attenborough and the Giant Egg (R,S,HD). 5.20 Flog It! (R,S).

THE THIRTEENTH TALE 9.30pm, BBC2

A writer is forced to confront her own past while interviewing a terminally ill writer for a biography. Psychological mystery, starring Olivia Colman and Vanessa Redgrave.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 10.25 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 11.25 Film: The Railway Children (S,HD). (1970) ●●●●● 1.35 ITV News (S).; Weather 1.45 Regional News (S). 1.50 Dinner Date (R,S,HD). 2.50 Christmas Catchphrase (R,S,HD). 3.50 Film: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (S,HD). (2004) ●● 5.35 You’ve Been Framed! & Famous (R,S).

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR 11.35pm, Channel 5

Director Laurence Connor’s production of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s rock musical telling the story of the last seven days of Christ’s life leading up to His Crucifixion, as seen through the eyes of His disciple Judas Iscariot. Starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, Melanie C and Chris Moyles.

Channel 4

6.00 The Treacle People Christmas Special 6.20 According to Jim (HD). 6.45 Will & Grace 7.35 Film: See Spot Run (HD). (2001) ●●● 9.20 How I Met Your Mother (HD). 10.20 The Big Bang Theory (HD). 11.20 The Simpsons 12.20 Film: Space Chimps (HD). (2008) ●● 2.00 Film: Coraline (HD). (2009) ●●●●● 4.00 Deal or No Deal (HD). 5.00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.50 Inside Hollywood (R). 9.55 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.25 Britain’s Craziest Christmas Lights (R,S,HD). 11.25 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 12.25 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD). 1.25 Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD). 2.25 Film: The Alamo (S). (1960) Western, directed by and starring John Wayne. ●●●● 5.10 Film: The Four Feathers (S,HD). (2002) Historical adventure, starring Heath Ledger. ●●●

Emmerdale, 7pm

Hollyoaks, 6.30pm

▼

6.00 Aussie Animal Island (S,HD). 5/6. 6.30 Regional News (S).; Weather 6.45 ITV News (S).; Weather

6.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Ziggy inadvertently fuels Ruby’s growing drug habit on New Year’s Eve.

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 3/10. With James Allen, David Bradley, Chris Ramsey and Shobu Kapoor. 7.30 Shrek Forever After (S,HD). (2010) A magical trickster leaves the grumpy ogre stuck in an alternate world where no one knows who he is. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz. ●●●

6.00 Celebrity Eggheads (R,S,HD). 3/10. Former EastEnders actors compete in the quiz. 6.30 The Secret Life of Mary Poppins: A Culture Show Special (R,S,HD). 27/32. 7.30 Dad’s Army (R,S). 8/8. The vicar holds a fundraising bazaar. Last in the series.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charity visits Sam to find out what he said to the police. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). See Choices Above.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S). 7.05 Gok Does Panto (S). Fashion guru Gok Wan rehearses for his pantomime debut.

7.30 Eddie Stobart: 12 Days of Christmas (R,S,HD). A compilation of the most memorable festive moments from the series. Followed by 5 News Update.

8.30 Quantum of Solace (S,HD). (2008) See Choices Above. ●●●

8.00 Jamie’s Festive Feast (S). Jamie Oliver prepares a variety of dishes that are ideal for the lazy winter days between Christmas and New Year, from simple one-pot wonders to perfect party food.

8.30 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (S,HD). James Richardson presents action from the fifth heat from Haitang Bay in Sanya, China, as the remaining two places in the final were decided. Followed by 5 News Update.

9.00 Doggy Styling (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.30 Dirty Dancing (S,HD). (1987) A dance instructor at a 1960s resort teaches a naive teenager about self-expression as they perform in an important show. Romantic drama, with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. See Choices Above. ●●●●

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Dad’s Army, 7.30pm

6.30 BBC News (S,HD).; Weather 6.50 Regional News (S).; Weather

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6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 9pm

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(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

10.30 ITV News (S).; Weather 10.45 The Game (S,HD). (1997) A selfish banker gets caught up in a complex psychological game, causing his life to unravel in explosive fashion. David Fincher’s thriller, with Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. ●●●●

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9.30 The Thirteenth Tale (S,HD). See Choices Above.

10.10 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S).; Weather 10.30 Comic Relief 2013: 100 Million Laughs (R,S,HD). Lenny Henry, Steve Jones and Zoe Ball look back at the charity event.

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9.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Ronnie finds drugs in Roxy’s bag. 9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys New Year Special (S,HD). 2/2. See Choices Above.

8.00 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 6/10. Leicester takes on Sussex. 8.30 The Sacred Wonders of Britain (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Neil Oliver investigates the hallowed sites of ancient Britain.

11.30 BBC News: The Editors (S,HD). 9/11. A discussion on the year’s big news stories.

11.00 Mel Smith: I’ve Sort of Done Things (R,S). A celebration of the life and career of the actor, writer and director, who died in July at the age of 60.

12.00 Film: Disgrace (S,HD). (2008) Drama, starring John Malkovich. ●●●● 1.50 Weatherview (S). 1.55 BBC News (S,HD).

12.00 Respect: A Felix Dexter Special (R,S,HD). 12.30 Film: Good Hair (S,HD). (2009) Premiere. Documentary examining the hair-styling industry. ●●● 2.05 Sign Zone: Imagine – Jimi Hendrix: Hear My Train a Comin’ (R,S). 3.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

▼

after

1.05 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming. 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

BRISTOL’S LARGEST INDEPENDENT HOMECENTE

10.00 Twit of the Year (S). See Choices Above.

11.30 C4’s 30 Greatest Comedy Shows (R,S). Celebrating some of the station’s most impressive comedy series.

11.35 Jesus Christ Superstar (S,HD). See Choices Above.

1.25 Film: Vampires Suck (S,HD). (2010) Premiere. Spoof comedy, starring Jenn Proske. ● 2.50 Nashville (S,HD). 3.30 90210 (S,HD). Jordan tries to help Mark. 4.15 Suburgatory (S,HD). 4.55 Countdown (R,S,HD). With Richard Madeley in Dictionary Corner. 5.40 SuperScrimpers (R,S,HD).

1.50 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.55 My Post-Baby Breakdown: Jennifer Ellison (S,HD). The TV personality discusses post-natal depression. 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). Greek artist El Greco. 5.10 Nick’s Quest (R,S). Nick Baker visits Uganda’s Queen Elizabeth National Park. 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

would like to wish all of their customers...

Merry Christmas & a very happy 2014

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The Four Feathers, 5.10pm

DOGGY STYLING 9pm, Channel 4

Hour-long episode. Peter punches Rob after he makes an innocent comment about Tina, while a devastated Hayley leaves Roy to inform everyone she only has weeks to live.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.55 Film: Free Willy 3: The Rescue (S,HD) (1997). ●●● 9.45 Film: Dragonheart (S,HD) (1996). ●●● 11.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.15 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.25 Film: Horrid Henry: The Movie (S,HD) (2011). ●● 3.20 Film: Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (S,HD) (1980). ●●●●● 5.50 Film: Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (S,HD) (1983). ●●●●

Documentary exploring the extraordinary and competitive world of extreme dog grooming. Across America, poodles are being crimped, primped and dyed to compete in a multimillion-dollar activity. Every year they come together at the world’s largest grooming event in Hershey, Pennsylvania.

E4 6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 8.55 Glee (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 12.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 1.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 1.55 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.55 Film: Penelope (S,HD) (2006). Romantic fantasy, starring Christina Ricci. ●●● 4.40 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sinbad 9.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 10.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 Sheridan Smith’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 12.15 Jane Horrocks’ Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle 2.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 3.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.00 Sinbad 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

CORONATION STREET 7.30pm, ITV

QUANTUM OF SOLACE 8.30pm, ITV

DIRTY DANCING 9.30pm, Channel 5

A dance instructor at a 1960s resort teaches a naive teenager about self-expression as they perform in a show. Romantic drama, with Patrick Swayze.

James Bond uncovers a plan to cause a coup in a Latin American country. Spy thriller sequel, with Daniel Craig and Judi Dench.

GOLD 6.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 8.00 Open All Hours (S). 8.40 Porridge (S). 9.20 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 10.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 12.00 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2002. The Trotters go to France. 1.40 You, Me & Them (S). 2.20 Open All Hours (S). 3.00 Porridge (S). 3.40 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 The Ashes (HD). Australia v England. 10.00 Football Special (HD). Chelsea v Liverpool and Newcastle United v Arsenal. 11.30 Football Gold (S). 1.00 World PDC Darts Championship (HD). The concluding two quarterfinals. 5.00 Football Gold (S,HD). Action from Arsenal v Leeds United in the 2002/03 season.

Made in Chelsea … 10pm

Banshee, 10pm

Not Going Out, 9.40pm

Live Darts, 7pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 16/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/22. Homer becomes a baseball team mascot.

6.20 Only Fools and Horses (S). Christmas special from 2003. The Trotters desperately need money.

6.00 FL72 Review. A roundup of recent matches.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Peril lies in wait for two of the village’s residents as the new year arrives. 7.35 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 7/20.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 15/22. Bart’s graffiti impresses a group of professional artists. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 20/22.

8.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Comical clips, narrated by Harry Hill.

8.00 Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (R,S,HD). Festive spin-off of the animated films, with the voice of John Leguizamo. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/23.

8.00 All Aboard: East Coast Trains (S,HD). 8/10. Night workers at the maintenance depot have their schedule threatened by a signal problem.

8.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. 5/7. Classic sketches by messrs Corbett and Barker.

9.00 Love Actually (S,HD) (2003). Interlinked tales of several people in search of love. Richard Curtis’s romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Bill Nighy and Liam Neeson. ●●●

9.00 Rude Tube: All Things Weird and Wonderful (R,S). 2/3. Featured clips include formation shepherding, two camels in a car, and sex tips from a cantaloupe melon.

9.00 Strike Back: Shadow Warfare (S,HD). 10/10. Stonebridge, Scott and the team discover the enemy is heading to the air base, hellbent on infecting the servicemen and women making their way back to America. Last in the series.

9.00 Miranda (S). 5/6. Penny tries to find a suitable man for Miranda. 9.40 Not Going Out (S). 5/8. Lee’s attempt to impress Lucy backfires.

Love Actually, 9pm

7.00 Live World PDC Darts Championship (HD). Coverage of the semifinals at the Alexandra Palace in London, where the first players to win six sets will progress to the final.

12.05 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 1.10 Sweat the Small Stuff Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 1.40 Snog, Marry, Avoid? Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 2.10 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 2.40 Some Girls (R,S,HD). 3.10 C-Bomb (R,S,HD). 3.30 Snog, Marry, Avoid? Christmas Special (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 The Code of Life: Great Scientists in Their Own Words (HD). The story of the scientists who discovered the structure of DNA. 8.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (HD). Dr Alison Woollard examines what happens to cells as they age. Last in the series. 9.00 Krakatoa Revealed (R). 9.50 Endeavour: Everest by Balloon (HD). 10.45 4,000-Year-Old Cold Case: The Body in the Bog (R,HD). 11.45 Nasa – Triumph and Tragedy (R). 12.45 The High Art of the Low Countries (R,HD). 1.50 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2013: Life Fantastic (R,HD). 2.50 The Bridge (R,HD).

December

11.05 Geeks (S). 6/6. Self11.05 An Idiot Abroad 3 11.45 Celebrity Juice confessed nerds visit Las (R,S,HD). 2/3. Karl and (R,S,HD). 1/13. With Vegas. Last in the series. Warwick land roles in a guests Amir Khan, Lucy Bollywood movie and Mecklenburgh, Christian clown around at the Jessen and Ashley circus. Walters.

11.00 Gimme Gimme 11.00 FL72 Review. A roundGimme (S). 5/6. Tom and up of recent matches. Linda go clubbing. 11.40 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 1/3. A homecoming leads to a life-changing experience.

12.30 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 1.15 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 2.00 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 2.35 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 3.00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 3.25 Fool Britannia (R,S,HD). 3.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).

12.20 Miranda (S). Penny tries to find a suitable man for Miranda. 1.00 Not Going Out (S). Lee’s attempt to impress Lucy backfires. 1.30 Gimme Gimme Gimme (S). Tom and Linda go clubbing. 2.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. Renee Olstead guests. 2.50 Rex the Runt. 3.00 Close

12.05 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 1.20 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2.10 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.05 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Rebecca Front’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline (R,S,HD).

7.00 Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes (R,S). 7.25 Streetdance (S,HD) (2010). Drama, starring Nichola Burley. ●●● 9.00 Raiders of the Lost Ark (S,HD) (1981). Action adventure, starring Harrison Ford. ●●●●● 10.50 EastEnders (R,S,HD). Ronnie finds drugs in Roxy’s bag. 11.20 Family Guy (R,S). Peter presents his own version of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

MONDAY

10.20 You, Me & Them (S). 10.00 Made in Chelsea: End 10.00 Banshee (R,S). 5/10. 5/6. A ghost from Hood’s preparations for of Season Party (S). Lauren’s past returns. his next robbery are 12/12. Rick Edwards is interrupted when joined by the stars of members of a biker gang the reality show as they wreak havoc at discuss some of the most Banshee’s Spirit Festival talked-about scenes of after one of them is shot the sixth series. Last in dead by Siobhan. the series.

12.10 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 12.45 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments (R,S). 1.45 Rude Tube: All Things Weird and Wonderful (R,S). 2.40 Made in Chelsea (R,S). 3.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 3.50 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.15 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.55 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

BBC3

12.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show. 1.00 Scottish Football (HD). Dunfermline Athletic v Rangers. 2.00 World PDC Darts Championship (HD). The semifinals at the Alexandra Palace in London.

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TV PICKS

GREATEST STAND UP COMEDIANS 9pm, Channel 5

A countdown of the 50 funniest people to have performed standup routines, featuring Tommy Cooper, Joan Rivers and Robin Williams.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S). 9.10 Film: Bee Movie (S,HD). (2007) ●●● 10.30 Film: Beverly Hills Chihuahua (S,HD). (2008) ●● 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Regional News (S). 1.20 Film: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (S,HD). (2008) ●●● 3.35 Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Furious Five (R,S,HD). 4.00 Film: How to Train Your Dragon (S,HD). (2010) ●●●● 5.30 Top of the Pops New Year (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

ALAN CARR’S NEW YEAR SPECSTACULAR TUDOR MONASTERY 9pm, Channel 4 FARM CHRISTMAS 9pm, BBC2

The comedian takes over Channel 4 HQ to throw a New Year’s Eve party to remember, bringing in 2014 with unpredictable madness, games and guests appearing in various guises. He’s joined by James Corden, Keith Lemon, Ben Cohen, Abbey Clancy and Emma Willis, and Tinie Tempah and Katy B provide the music.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.25 Natural World: Madagascar, Lemurs and Spies (R,S,HD). 7.25 Film: Short Circuit (S,HD). (1986) ●●● 9.00 Africa (R,S,HD). 10.00 Earthflight (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 2.00 Film: First Knight (S,HD). (1995) ●●● 4.05 The Queen’s Palaces (R,S,HD). 5.05 Flog It! (R,S).

TWO DOORS DOWN 9pm, BBC1

Ruth Goodman, Peter Ginn and Tom Pinfold celebrate Christmas as it would have been done in 1500, making Tudor decorations, engaging in festive revels and preparing feasts.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 Film: Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders (S). (2000) ●●● 11.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 12.00 All Star Family Fortunes (R,S). 12.45 ITV News (S).; Weather 1.05 Film: The ’Burbs (S,HD). (1989) Black comedy, starring Tom Hanks. ●●●● 3.00 The Cube: Celebrity Special (R,S). 4.00 The Nation’s Favourite Dance Moment (R,S). 5.30 Off Their Rockers (R,S,HD).

Arabella Weir and Alex Norton star in this one-off comedy about Scottish couple Eric and Beth Baird, who are throwing a Hogmanay party for a selection of family and friends, including Norwegian neighbours Henning and Nina and aspirational acquaintances Colin and Cathy.

Channel 4

6.00 According to Jim (HD). 6.30 Will & Grace 7.20 Film: Little Manhattan (HD). (2005) ●●●● 8.50 How I Met Your Mother (HD). 9.45 The Big Bang Theory (HD). 10.50 The Simpsons 11.50 Film: Imagine That (HD). (2009) ●● 1.55 Film: Home Alone 3 (HD). (1997) Comedy sequel, starring Alex D Linz. ●●● 4.00 Deal or No Deal (HD). High-stakes game show, with Noel Edmonds. 5.00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me: Footballers Special (HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.40 Inside Hollywood 2013 (R). 9.45 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.15 Michael Buble’s Christmas Special (R,S,HD). 11.15 Film: Fiddler on the Roof (S,HD). (1971) Musical, starring Topol. ●●●●● 2.50 Film: Pal Joey (S,HD). (1957) Musical comedy, starring Frank Sinatra. ●●● 5.00 Film: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (S) (1954). Musical Western, starring Howard Keel; ●●●●● 5 News Update.

Celebrity Eggheads, 6pm

Emmerdale, 7pm

Hollyoaks, 6.25pm

▼

6.30 BBC News (S,HD). 6.45 Regional News (S).; Weather

6.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Comical clips, narrated by Harry Hill. 6.30 Regional News (S).; Weather 6.45 ITV News (S).; Weather

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 19/20. 6.25 Hollyoaks (S). 6.55 Channel 4 News Summary (S).

▼

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 4/10. With Josh Widdicombe, Katharine Merry, Sian ReeseWilliams and Nick Baker. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Carl invites Roxy to Paris.

6.00 Celebrity Eggheads (R,S,HD). 4/10. With Alistair Appleton, Simon O’Brien, Laura Hamilton, Ed Hall and Angus Purden. 6.30 Blackpool: Big Night Out (R,S). 7.30 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 7/10. King’s College London takes on Southampton.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). The police see the footage of Sam at Home Farm. 7.30 Aussie Animal Island (S,HD). 6/6. All eight females prepare to have joeys. Last in the series.

7.00 Deal or No Deal: Christmas Stars (S,HD). Noel Edmonds offers community support officer Ian Taylor the chance to win up to £250,000.

7.00 The Gadget Show (S,HD). Jason Bradbury and Rachel Riley test three 4K Blu-ray players. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 12/52. Guy attempts to rebuild his relationship with Zosia, Serena puts on a brave face after Edward’s betrayal and Harry is struggling to forgive MaryClaire for her actions.

8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events (S,HD). 1/3. New series. Chris Packham investigates more peculiar natural events, including dogs that commute on the Moscow metro and deadly sharks at a golf course in Australia.

8.00 Mamma Mia! (S,HD). (2008) See Choices Above. ●●●●

8.00 Celebrity Fifteen to One (R,S,HD). Adam Hills hosts a one-off special of the fastpaced quiz, as 15 famous faces including Jonathan Ross, Jo Brand, Fern Britton and Eamonn Holmes compete to win money for charity.

8.00 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (S,HD). 11/11. James Richardson presents the final from Haitang Bay in Sanya, China, featuring the 10 qualifiers from the heats. Last in the series.

▼

9.00 Two Doors Down (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Tudor Monastery Farm Christmas (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Alan Carr’s New Year Specstacular (S). See Choices Above.

9.00 Greatest Stand Up Comedians (S). See Choices Above.

▼

6 7 8 9

Holby City, 8pm

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).; Weather 10.15 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). Graham hosts a starstudded special with the stars of Anchorman 2, the Monty Python team, comedian Frank Skinner and sisters Joan and Jackie Collins.

10.00 Mock the Week (S,HD). 13/13. A Christmas edition of the comedy quiz. 10.30 Dara O Briain – Craic Dealer (R,S,HD). The comedian and Mock the Week host in performance at Edinburgh Playhouse in 2012.

10.10 ITV News (S). 10.15 2013: A Funny Old Year (S,HD). Jason Manford presents a humorous celebration of the highs and lows of the past 12 months.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

11.15 Gary Barlow’s Big Ben Bash Live (S,HD). 1/2. See Choices Above. 11.55 New Year’s Eve Fireworks (S,HD). The people of London welcome in 2014.

11.30 Jools’ Annual Hootenanny 2013 (S,HD). See Choices Above.

11.15 Vicious (R,S,HD). Freddie and Stuart invite friends round for a Christmas Day celebration. 11.45 ITV News (S).; Weather and New Year’s Bongs

11.05 50 Funniest Moments 2013 (R,S). A countdown of the most hilarious, surprising and sometimes shocking incidents from the past 12 months, with contributions from Danny Dyer and Helen Flanagan.

11.50 The Plank (S). (1967) Two clumsy workmen carry a plank to a building site, causing various mishaps and accidents along the way. Slapstick comedy, directed by and starring Eric Sykes. ●●●

12.10 Gary Barlow’s Big Ben Bash Live (S,HD). 12.30 John Bishop Live: Rollercoaster Tour (R,S,HD). The comedian in performance at Manchester Arena. 1.50 Film: Kevin and Perry Go Large (S,HD). (2000) Comedy, starring Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke. ●●● 3.05 Weatherview (S). 3.10 BBC News (S,HD).

1.30 Glastonbury 2013 Highlights (R,S,HD). A selection of performances from this year’s festival. 3.45 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.05 Film: Waterworld (S,HD). (1995) Sci-fi adventure, starring Kevin Costner. ●●● 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). The host takes his successful talk show stateside. 3.00 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

1.05 Toast of London (R,S,HD). 3.45 Deal or No Deal: Ideal Christmas (R,S,HD). Noel Edmonds hosts a festive-themed edition. 4.40 Countdown (R,S,HD). With Richard Madeley in Dictionary Corner. 5.20 90210 (S,HD). Teddy joins the search for Michaela.

12.55 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Celebrity Wedding Planner (S,HD). Helen Flanagan and Hugo Taylor plan a couple’s wedding. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

10 11

▼

after

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The Gadget Show, 7pm

JOOLS’ ANNUAL HOOTENANNY 2013 11.30pm, BBC2

The singer rounds off the year with a live gig at the Central Hall in London’s Westminster, performing Take That favourites as well as solo numbers to help bring in the new year.

ITV2 6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’ve Been Framed: Top 100 Animals (R,S). 8.15 The Xtra Factor Winner’s Story (2013) (R,S). 9.15 I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! Trials and Tribulations (R,S,HD). 10.20 Film: What a Girl Wants (S,HD) (2003). ●● 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.05 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.40 Film: Beethoven’s 2nd (S,HD) (1993). ●●● 4.30 Film: Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (S,HD) (1983). ●●●●

Hot Fuzz, 9pm

7.10 Mr Bean’s Holiday (S,HD) (2007). The bumbling fool wins a trip to France in the church raffle, only to cause chaos when he is accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson and Willem Dafoe. ●●

9.00 Hot Fuzz (S,HD) (2007). A zealous policeman is relocated to a sleepy country village, where a series of grisly so-called accidents arouses his suspicions. Action comedy, starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. ●●●●

Jools Holland presents his 21st annual Hootenanny, featuring a mixture of veteran artists and modern chart stars. The line-up features former Kinks frontman Ray Davies, singer-songwriter Lisa Stansfield, Edinburgh duo the Proclaimers, Spice Girl Melanie C and Jamaican vocalist Dawn Penn.

E4 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 10.00 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 11.10 Film: Astro Boy (S,HD) (2009). ●●● 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.55 Film: Meet Dave (S,HD) (2008). ●● 4.40 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 5.05 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 9.30 Johnny Vegas’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 9.45 Alan Davies’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 10.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle (R,S,HD). 2.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 3.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

GARY BARLOW’S BIG BEN BASH LIVE 11.15pm, BBC1

MAMMA MIA! 8pm, ITV

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM 8pm, BBC3

A bride asks three of her mother’s old flames to her wedding to learn which of them is her father. Musical comedy featuring Abba songs, starring Meryl Streep.

GOLD 6.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.55 Open All Hours (S). 8.35 Porridge (S). 9.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 9.55 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 11.55 Only Fools and Horses (S). 1.35 You, Me & Them (S). 2.15 Open All Hours (S). 2.55 Porridge (S). 3.35 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 4.45 Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp. 5.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan and Amrish Puri.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Review. 10.00 Scottish Football (HD). 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD). 12.00 FL72 Review. A round-up of recent matches. 1.00 World PDC Darts Championship (HD). The semi-finals at the Alexandra Palace in London. 5.00 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). Action from La Liga. 5.30 Football Gold (S,HD).

The Big Bang Theory, 6pm

Modern Family, 8pm

Stuart Little, 6.15pm

Lions Raw, 10pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 13/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 11/24. 6.55 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 18/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 1/22. Homer meets Mel Gibson.

6.15 Stuart Little (1999). Comedy adventure, with the voice of Michael J Fox. ●●●●

6.00 Rugby Union (HD). The best tries of 2013. 6.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). Action from La Liga.

7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 11/22. Ted searches for the best New Year’s Eve party in New York.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 17/22. Guest starring Richard Dean Anderson. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 21/23.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). A Top 5 countdown of the show’s episodes. 8.30 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). The fourth-placed episode.

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 11/24. The families visit Palm Springs to celebrate the new year. 8.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 12/24.

8.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. 6/7. Messrs Corbett and Barker reunite behind their famous desk to reminisce about sketches.

9.00 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). The third-placed episode. 9.30 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). The episode voted the runner-up in the online poll.

9.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life (R,S,HD). 1/5. Karl Pilkington answers important life questions, beginning with the relevance of marriage today.

9.00 Miranda (S). 6/6. A handsome man leaves his wallet in the shop. 9.40 Not Going Out (S). 8/8. Lee plans to spend time alone with Lucy at Christmas.

10.00 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). The most popular episode. 10.30 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 2/6. The four lads play truant.

10.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life (R,S,HD). 2/5. Karl Pilkington tries to find out how people achieve happiness. 10.55 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life (R,S,HD). 3/5.

7.00 Ringside – Review of the Season (HD). A look back at some of the biggest fights of the past six months, which included Carl Froch v George Groves, Kell Brook v Vyacheslav Senchenko and Daniel Geale v Darren Barker.

9.00 The F1 Show (HD). A look back at another thrilling season, which began with Sebastian Vettel as the defending champion.

10.20 You, Me & Them (S). 6/6. Lauren questions her future with Ed.

10.00 Lions Raw (HD). Behind the scenes of the 2013 British & Irish Lions tour of Australia, featuring interviews, highlights and access-all-areas footage.

11.25 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 5/13. With team captains Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield.

11.00 The Inbetweeners Top 11.55 New Year Fireworks 10 Moments (R,S). A Live (HD). The annual countdown of the display in central comedy show’s London. highlights.

11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme (S). 6/6. Linda and Tom land new jobs. 11.40 Absolutely Fabulous (S). 2/3. Edina tries to win Saffy’s respect.

11.00 Special Report. A profile of cyclist Chris Froome. 11.30 Rugby Union (HD). The best tries of 2013.

12.10 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD). 1.40 Celebrity Juice: X Factor Special (R,S,HD). 2.25 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 2.50 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 3.15 Fool Britannia (R,S,HD). 3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).

12.05 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). A countdown of the 100 most popular videos on the internet. 2.10 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2013 (R,S,HD). Alex Zane presents 100 memorable internet clips. 3.55 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD). 4.15 Glee (R,S,HD). 5.00 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.20 Miranda (S). A handsome man leaves his wallet in the shop. 1.00 Not Going Out (S). Lee plans to spend time alone with Lucy at Christmas. 1.30 Gimme Gimme Gimme (S). 2.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. Featuring a performance by Katie Melua. 2.50 Rex the Runt. 3.00 Close

12.00 Ringside – Review of the Season (HD). A look back at some of the biggest fights of the past six months. 2.00 Rugby Union (HD). 2.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). 3.00 The F1 Show (HD). A look back at another thrilling season. 4.00 Super League (HD). A review of the 2013 season.

12.15 An Idiot Abroad 3 (R,S,HD). 1.10 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 2.20 A League of Their Own: Unseen (R,S,HD). 3.10 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Sheridan Smith’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.15 Shappi Khorsandi’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes 2013 (R,S,HD). 8.00 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (S,HD) (1984). See Choices Above. ●●●● 9.50 Live at the Apollo (R,S,HD). Dara O Briain presents the comedy show from the Hammersmith Apollo, featuring performances by The Inbetweeners star Greg Davies and Canadian comedian Stewart Francis. 10.35 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.05 Family Guy (R,S,HD). Extended Star Wars-themed episode. 11.50 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.15 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.35 Great Movie Mistakes 2013 (R,S). 2.30 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 3.00 Some Girls (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 Sir John Tavener Remembered (R,HD). A tribute to the composer who died in November. 8.00 Kind Hearts and Coronets (HD) (1949). Ealing black comedy, starring Alec Guinness. ●●●●● 9.45 Rome’s Lost Empire (R,HD). Dan Snow uses satellite technology to reveal the secrets of the Roman Empire. 11.15 Some Scousers with Jokes (R,HD). 11.45 Some Scousers with Jokes (R,HD). 12.15 Some Boffins with Jokes (R,HD). 12.45 Some Vicars with Jokes (R,HD). 1.15 Some Vicars with Jokes (R,HD). 1.45 John Denver at Wembley Arena (R). 2.25 Sounds of the 70s 2 Disco – Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now (R). 2.55 The Bridge (R,HD).

TUESDAY December 31 ��’� ��

Bristol Times �� ’� ��

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TV PICKS

SHERLOCK 9pm, BBC1

Two years on from his reported demise, Holmes resurfaces as London comes under threat – and Watson worries his settled domestic life is at an end.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: The Ant Bully (S). (2006) ●● 10.20 Film: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (S,HD). (1988) ●●●●● 11.55 Polar Bear: Spy on the Ice (R,S,HD). 12.45 The Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year Message (S,HD). 12.50 BBC News (S,HD). 1.00 Regional News (S). 1.05 Gangsta Granny (R,S,HD). 2.15 Film: The Sound of Music (S,HD). (1965) ●●●●● 5.05 Film: Kung Fu Panda 2 (S,HD). (2011) ●●●●

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

EMMERDALE 7pm, ITV

Charity continues to manipulate the police into thinking it was Sam who started the fire and it seems her plot is working, despite DS Reed discovering one of the cameras has been tampered with. Meanwhile, Moira hides her disappointment about her romantic night away, and Cain’s frustration continues..

BBC2

7.50 Film: Flight of the Navigator (S,HD). (1986) ●●● 9.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 10.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 11.15 New Year’s Day Concert (S,HD). 12.40 The Many Faces of Michael Caine (R,S). 1.20 Film: The Eagle Has Landed (S,HD). (1976) ●●● 3.30 Sports Personality of the Year at 60 (R,S). 4.30 Final Score (S,HD). 5.20 The Archbishop of Canterbury’s New Year Message (R,S). 5.25 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 5.55 Film: The Terminal (S,HD). (2004) ●●●

THE SARAH MILLICAN SLIGHTLY LONGER CHRISTMAS TELEVISION PROGRAMME 11pm, BBC2

The comedienne is joined by Phillip Schofield and acts out a scene with Call the Midwife stars Judy Parfitt and Helen George.

ITV

6.00 CITV 8.25 Dinner Date (R,S). 9.25 Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 10.25 Film: Columbo Goes to College (S). (1991) ●●● 12.20 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 1.25 ITV News (S).; Weather 1.50 Film: Uncle Buck (S,HD). (1989) Family comedy, starring John Candy. ●●● 3.40 50 Greatest Harry Potter Moments (R,S,HD). Robbie Coltrane narrates a countdown of the movie franchise’s best scenes. 5.40 The Illusionists (R,S,HD).

AN AUDIENCE WITH KEN DODD 9pm, Channel 5

Comedy and entertainment from the Liverpudlian comedian, in a programme originally aired in 1994 to mark his 40th year in showbusiness. Among the audience helping him celebrate are actors James Fox and Warren Mitchell, actress Mollie Sugden and TV presenter Carol Vorderman.

Channel 4

6.05 According to Jim (HD). 6.30 Will & Grace 7.00 Film: Freaky Friday (HD). (1976) ●●●● 8.50 How I Met Your Mother (HD). 9.50 The Big Bang Theory (HD). 10.20 Film: Planet 51 (HD). (2009) ●●● 12.05 Deal or No Deal (HD). Game show, with Noel Edmonds. 1.05 Channel 4 Racing Live coverage from Cheltenham and Musselburgh. 3.40 The Simpsons Lisa gets her own TV show. 4.10 Film: Big (HD). (1988) Comedy, starring Tom Hanks. ●●●●

Channel 5 6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 8.45 Film: Thomas & Friends: King of the Railway – The Movie (S,HD). (2013) ●● 9.55 Inside Hollywood 10.10 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.40 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 11.40 World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 12.40 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD). 1.40 Film: The Glenn Miller Story (S,HD). (1954) ●●●● 3.55 Film: Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (S). (1984) ●●●

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

▼ ▼ ▼

8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events (S,HD). 2/3. Chris Packham investigates reports of fish “walking” out of the water in Florida, bees in France that are making multicoloured honey, and trees oozing a blood-red liquid.

9.00 Sherlock (S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Glasgow: Big Night Out (S). See Choices Above.

▼ ▼ ▼

after

10.25 BBC News (S,HD). 10.40 Regional News (S).; Weather 10.50 Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary Lineker presents Premier League highlights, including Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford and Southampton v Chelsea at St Mary’s Stadium. Followed by National Lottery Update.

12.20 The Graham Norton Show (R,S,HD). With the stars of Anchorman 2 and the Monty Python team. 1.20 Weatherview (S). 1.25 BBC News (S,HD).

2013: A Funny Old Year, 10.50pm

Big Fat Quiz of the Year … 10.20pm

An Audience with Cliff … 10.55pm

6.45 ITV News (S).; Weather

6.10 Channel 4 News (S). 6.20 The Karate Kid (S,HD). (2010) See Choices Above. ●●●

6.30 The Dam Busters (S,HD). (1954) Fact-based Second World War drama, starring Michael Redgrave. ●●●●●

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). See Choices Above. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Tina is furious when Peter acts like nothing happened.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Phil helps Ronnie in her battle against Carl, Mick shocks Linda by announcing they have been invited to their daughter’s wedding and Tina creeps out after her night with Billy.

10 11

6.25 BBC News (S,HD). 6.35 Regional News (S).; Weather 6.45 Gnomeo & Juliet (S,HD). (2011) Premiere. Animated comedy, with the voices of James McAvoy and Emily Blunt. ●●●

▼

6 7 8 9

Nature’s Weirdest Events, 8pm

EastEnders, 8pm

8.00 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (S,HD). (2011) Premiere. The young wizard and his friends face a final battle with the forces of the dark lord Voldemort. Conclusion of the fantasy saga, with Daniel Radcliffe and Ralph Fiennes. See Choices Above. ●●●●●

10.00 The Many Faces of Stanley Baxter (R,S,HD). 2/4. A profile of the Glaswegian entertainer, whose TV shows drew huge audiences in the 1970s and 80s. With contributions from Michael Grade, Barry Cryer, Bill Oddie and Gregor Fisher.

10.30 ITV News (S).; Weather 10.50 2013: A Funny Old Year (R,S,HD). Jason Manford presents a humorous celebration of the highs and lows of the past 12 months.

11.00 The Sarah Millican Slightly Longer Christmas Television Programme (S). See Choices Above. 11.40 The Resident (S). (2011) Premiere. Horror, with Hilary Swank and Christopher Lee. ●●

11.50 The Jonathan Ross Show (R,S,HD). The host is joined by naturalist David Attenborough, comedian John Bishop, chef Jamie Oliver, actor Ray Winstone and rap duo Rizzle Kicks.

1.05 Film: Shadow of the Vampire (S). (2000) Horror, starring Willem Dafoe and John Malkovich. ●●●● 2.25 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.55 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming. 3.00 Film: Training Day (S,HD). (2001) Thriller, starring Denzel Washington. ●●●●● 5.00 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Textbased information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences.

SEE, HEAR AND TRY ... THE YAMAHA EXPERIENCE Get in the yuletide mood and exploreYamaha’s range of digital pianos and keyboards

9.00 An Audience with Ken Dodd (R,S). See Choices Above.

10.20 Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2013 (R,S). Jimmy Carr poses questions about the major events of the year to Jack Whitehall, Jonathan Ross, Dara O Briain, Kristen Schaal, Noel Fielding and Richard Ayoade.

10.55 An Audience with Cliff Richard (R,S). The singer performs a selection of his greatest hits before a celebrity audience, inviting Elaine Paige, Vincenzo La Scola and Another Level up on stage to share the limelight.

12.20 Film: Alien (S,HD). (1979) Sci-fi horror, starring Sigourney Weaver. ●●●●● 2.20 Film: The Quiller Memorandum (S,HD). (1966) Spy thriller, starring George Segal. ●●●● 4.05 Deal or No Deal: Ideal Christmas (R,S,HD). 5.00 Countdown (R,S,HD). 5.40 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD).

12.35 Michael Buble’s Christmas Special (R,S,HD). The Canadian crooner performs classic festive songs. 1.40 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Monster Moves (R,S). 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

• 10% off Yamaha digital pianos, keyboards and accessories • Yamaha expert Rob Bailey will demo and discuss all the great Yamaha pianos and keyboards, including the Tyros 5 • Rob will be on hand throughout the day to give advice and answer questions

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9.00 David Blaine: Real or Magic (S). See Choices Above.

SATURDAY 30TH NOVEMBER 10.00am – 4.00pm

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8.55 5 News (S,HD).

GLASGOW: BIG NIGHT OUT 9pm, BBC2

The illusionist performs mind-boggling tricks for a host of celebrities, including Katy Perry, Will Smith, Kanye West, Jamie Foxx, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Hawking.

ITV2

Stanley Baxter narrates a documentary that takes an affectionate look at his home city through the eyes of acts who have performed there. Glasgow Empire was notorious for its hostile atmosphere, but acts including Baxter himself, Nicholas Parsons and the Krankies first made there name there.

Sky1

FILM PICKS

DAVID BLAINE: REAL OR MAGIC 9pm, Channel 4

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2 8pm, ITV

GOLD

Sky Sports 1

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.45 Open All Hours (S). 8.25 Porridge (S). 9.05 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 9.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 10.15 Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp. 10.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 11.45 Film: Stuart Little (1999). ●●●● 1.30 You, Me & Them (S). 2.10 Open All Hours (S). 2.50 Porridge (S). 3.30 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 7.30 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 8.30 Making Attenborough’s Galapagos (R,S,HD). 9.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 10.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle (R,S,HD). 2.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 3.30 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 4.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

Johnny English, 6.10pm

Home Alone 2: Lost … 8pm

Natural History … 6.30pm

Outnumbered, 9pm

6.10 Johnny English (S,HD) (2003). Spy comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson. ●●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). 6.30 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22. Barney gives up alcohol. 6.30 David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum Alive (S,HD). David Attenborough presents a unique tour of the Natural History Museum.

6.05 Stuart Little 2 (2002). Family adventure sequel, starring Geena Davis. ●●●

7.00 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). 7.30 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S). The most popular episode. 8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 1/24. Pilot of the comedy, starring Charlie Sheen. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 2/24. Seagulls invade Jake’s room. 9.00 Love Actually (S,HD) (2003). Interlinked tales of several people in search of love. Richard Curtis’s romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Bill Nighy and Liam Neeson. Including FYI Daily. ●●●

8.00 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (S,HD) (1992). A boy ends up stranded in the Big Apple – where he bumps into two familiar burglars with an axe to grind. Comedy sequel, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. ●●●

8.00 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 1/2. Ray Winstone stars in this two-part adaptation of John Meade Falkner’s 19th-century novel following an orphan and a grizzled smuggler. 9.00 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 2/2. John and Elzevir set sail for a new life in France, until they realise Blackbeard’s locket could lead them to the diamond. Conclusion of the adventure, starring Ray Winstone.

An American youngster living in China falls foul of bullies, until a kindly kung fu master teaches him to defend himself. Martial arts drama, with Jackie Chan.

Conclusion of the fantasy saga, with Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Alan Rickman.

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 10.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 11.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.30 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.25 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 1.55 Film: Home Alone (S,HD) (1990). ●●● 4.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 5.30 The Big Bang Theory: Viewer’s Choice (R,S).

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 The Cube (R,S,HD). 7.15 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 7.40 You’ve Been Framed! Funniest 100 (R,S). 8.35 I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! Best of the Bush (R,S,HD). 9.35 Film: The Mighty Ducks (S,HD) (1992). ●● 11.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.15 Film: Casper (S,HD) (1995). ●●●● 2.10 Film: Ice Age: The Meltdown (S,HD) (2006). ●● 4.00 Film: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (S,HD) (2008). ●●

THE KARATE KID 6.20pm, Channel 4

7.40 Gavin & Stacey – Christmas Special (S). 8/8. The Wests join the Shipmans on Christmas Eve for one of Mick’s famous turkey dinners, but Gavin and Stacey’s announcement dampens the mood.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 The Sky Sports Years. 10.00 Ringside – Review of the Season (HD). 12.00 Soccer Special (HD). 12.30 Live Football Special (HD). Swansea City v Manchester City (Kick-off 12.45pm). 3.00 Soccer Special (HD). News and results from this afternoon’s matches. 5.15 FL72 Live (HD). Yeovil Town v Watford (Kick-off 5.30pm).

Live Football, 12.30pm

8.00 Live World PDC Darts Championship (HD). Coverage of the final at the Alexandra Palace in London, where the most prestigious tournament on the calendar reaches a conclusion.

9.00 Outnumbered (S). Christmas special from 2012. The Brockmans throw a party. 9.55 The Comic Strip Presents: Five Go to Rehab (S). Sequel to the first Comic Strip Presents film.

10.00 Mad Dogs: The Finale 10.50 30 Years of Comic 10.30 Final Destination 3 Strip (S). Celebration of (R,S,HD). 1/2. Max (S,HD) (2006). Teenagers the comedy team, Beesley, Philip Glenister, who narrowly escaped examining the influence John Simm and Marc death in a rollercoaster of its programmes on Warren return for the disaster begin to meet British television. fourth and final chapter, mysteriously gruesome Featuring appearances which sees the lads back fates. Horror sequel, from famous fans and in Britain and trying to starring Mary Elizabeth members of the original turn their lives around. Winstead and Ryan 1980s cast. Merriman. ●●● 11.00 Mad Dogs: The Finale (R,S,HD). 2/2. The lads hit upon a money-making plan.

11.45 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 1/24. Pilot of the comedy, starring Charlie Sheen.

BBC3

7.00 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (S,HD) (1989). The intrepid archaeologist sets out to find his father, who has gone missing while searching for the Holy Grail. Action adventure sequel, starring Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. ●●●●● 9.00 Jack Whitehall Live (R,S,HD). An hour of live stand-up. 10.25 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad (S,HD). Last in the series. 11.10 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 12.05 Family Guy (R,S). 12.30 Family Guy (R,S). 12.50 Backchat with Jack Whitehall and His Dad (R,S,HD). 1.35 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S,HD). 2.05 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 2.35 Fuzzbox (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Call Centre Christmas (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 New Year’s Day Concert Live from Vienna (HD). Highlights of this morning’s traditional concert, performed by the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Daniel Barenboim. 9.00 Cleopatra: The Film That Changed Hollywood (R). The story behind the making of the 1963 historical epic, starring Elizabeth Taylor as the Queen of the Nile, which at the time was the most expensive movie ever made. 11.00 Arena: Ken Dodd – Happiness (R). 12.00 Krakatoa Revealed (R). 12.50 The Joy of Abba (R). 1.50 Abba at the BBC (R,HD). 2.50 The Bridge (R,HD).

WEDNESDAY January 1

11.00 The Sky Sports Years. A look back at Sky’s coverage in 2013.

��’� ��

12.15 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 12.40 Celebrity Juice: Parallel Juicyverse Part One (R,S,HD). 1.40 Celebrity Juice: Parallel Juicyverse Part Two (R,S,HD). 2.35 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 3.00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD).

12.15 Rude Tube’s Christmas Cracker 2013 (R,S). 1.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.50 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.20 Made in Chelsea: End of Season Party (R,S). 3.15 Rude Tube’s Christmas Cracker 2013 (R,S). 4.05 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.45 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 Strike Back: Shadow Warfare (R,S,HD). 1.00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 2.15 A League of Their Own: Unseen (R,S,HD). 3.10 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Johnny Vegas’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.15 Harry Hill’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline

12.50 Film: Three Fugitives (1989). Comedy, starring Nick Nolte. ●●● 2.30 The Green Green Grass (S). Boycie and Marlene visit a mansion. 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). Yeovil Town v Watford. 1.00 World PDC Darts Championship (HD). The final at the Alexandra Palace in London. 3.00 The Sky Sports Years. 4.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 5.00 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD). 5.30 Rugby Union (HD).

Business

Week �

�� ’� ��

Harry Potter Studio Tour Day Trip Saturday 8th February Come along for a behind the scenes tour at Warner Bros Studio London

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Adult

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Holidays

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TV PICKS

BIRDS OF A FEATHER 8.30pm, ITV

PQ17: AN ARCTIC CONVOY DISASTER 9pm, BBC2

ITV’s revival of the hit BBC sitcom. Sharon has returned to her council flat, while Tracey is still in Chigwell. Pauline Quirke and Linda Robson star.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Match of the Day (R,S,HD). 10.30 Film: The Pacifier (S). (2005) ●● 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). From Shepton Mallet Antiques Fair, Somerset. 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Film: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (S,HD). (2010) Fantasy adventure, starring Nicolas Cage. ●●● 3.25 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.10 Flog It! (S). 5.10 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

Between 1941 and 1945, merchant ships escorted by vessels from the US, Canadian and British navies delivered 4 million tons of essential goods to the Soviet Union. In this documentary, Jeremy Clarkson retraces the journey of the convoy of 35 ships codenamed PQ17 from Iceland to Arkhangelsk in June and July 1942.

BBC2

6.30 Natural World: Queen of the Savannah (R,S,HD). 7.30 Sign Zone: Tudor Monastery Farm (R,S). 8.30 Britain’s Empty Homes (R,S,HD). 9.00 Africa (R,S,HD). 10.00 Earthflight (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 2.00 Film: The Heroes of Telemark (S). (1965) ●●●● 4.05 The Queen’s Palaces (R,S,HD). 5.05 Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S).

BENIDORM 9pm, ITV

The Garveys’ holiday starts to go wrong at Alicante Airport, while swingers Donald and Jacqueline stage a protest when manager Joyce refuses to give them a room.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News (S).; Weather 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S). With Holly Willoughby, Boris Becker and Judith Chalmers. 3.00 Secrets from the Workhouse (R,S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

SILENT WITNESS 9pm, BBC1

The Lyell Centre has a new boss in the shape of forensic pathologist Thomas Chamberlain, but he is met with a frosty reception from Nikki, Jack and Clarissa, who are still coming to terms with the death of Leo. Meanwhile, detectives are demanding results in two unsolved cases.

Channel 4

6.05 According to Jim (HD). 6.30 Will & Grace 7.25 Film: Flicka (HD). (2006) ●●● 9.05 How I Met Your Mother (HD). 10.10 The Big Bang Theory (HD). 11.05 The Simpsons 11.35 Film: Flash Gordon (HD). (1980) ●●●● 1.50 Film: The Jewel of the Nile (HD). (1985) Comedy adventure sequel, starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. ●●● 4.00 Deal or No Deal (HD). 5.00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (HD).

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.55 Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). 10.50 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD). 11.50 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 11.55 Titanic (R,S). 3.10 Film: Columbo: By Dawn’s Early Light (S). (1974) Crime drama, starring Peter Falk and Patrick McGoohan. ●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). The team helps a family from Bounds Green in Haringey, north London.

Top Gear, 8pm

The Americans, 10.35pm

Aliens, 10.55pm

Too Fat to Fly, 8pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD). 6.30 Regional News (S).

6.00 Celebrity Eggheads (R,S,HD). 5/10. Five former footballers take on the expert quizzers. 6.30 Glasgow: Big Night Out (R,S).

6.00 Regional News (S).; Weather 6.30 ITV News (S).; Weather

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/22. Homer’s mother asks for help. With the voice of Glenn Close. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S). Theresa’s antics threaten to spoil Carmel’s day.

6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 5/10. With Adil Ray, Mark Porter, Kevin Eldon and Jordan Stephens. 7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Kat gets a shock.

7.30 Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 9/10. The second semi-final of the quiz.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). 7.30 Do You Know Your Neighbours?: Tonight (S,HD). Residents are brought together to celebrate their community for the first time.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 Got Thin – Got Fat Again! (R,S,HD). The stories of people who cannot maintain their new weight after dieting. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 7.30pm

8.00 Dolphins – Spy in the Pod (S,HD). 1/2. First of a two-part documentary taking an intimate look at the secret world of the marine mammal, using camcorders attached to fast-moving submersibles to record life in the oceans.

8.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May look back at memorable stunts and the best challenges from the motoring magazine’s most recent series.

8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charity and Declan fear their plan is falling apart. 8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 1/8. See Choices Above.

8.00 The Restoration Man (S). New series. Architect George Clarke follows the progress of Londoners Alison and Matthew Gray, who want to turn a pumping station into a design haven.

8.00 Too Fat to Fly (R,S,HD). The stories of obese Britons who have suffered embarrassing incidents on holiday, including a couple told they were too heavy to sit next to each other on a flight to Guernsey. Followed by 5 News at 9.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 1/10. See Choices Above.

9.00 PQ17: An Arctic Convoy Disaster (S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 1/7. See Choices Above.

9.00 My Big Fat Gypsy Holiday (S,HD). Following members of the travelling community planning trips abroad, from a bride-to-be going to Mexico for her honeymoon, to a young girl making a religious pilgrimage to Bosnia.

9.00 50 Shocking Facts About Diet and Exercise (R,S,HD). Countdown of weight-loss methods, with scientists, industry experts and exponents explaining the pros and cons of fad diets, “healthy” foods and extreme exercise regimens.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S).; Weather 10.35 Pretty Woman (S,HD). (1990) A millionaire businessman hires a prostitute for a week, and falls in love with her despite their many differences. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. ●●●●

▼

after

12.30 Film: The Rebound (S,HD). (2009) Romantic comedy, with Catherine ZetaJones and Justin Bartha. ●●● 2.00 Skiing Weatherview (S). 2.05 BBC News (S,HD).

10.00 Rab C Nesbitt (S,HD). See Choices Above. 10.45 John Sergeant Meets Rab C Nesbitt (R,S). The veteran reporter finds out how the recession is affecting Rab.

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S).; Weather 10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD). 1/13. Another chance to see the first episode of the KGB spy drama. The Jennings set out to kidnap a defector and send him back to the Soviet Union.

11.30 Idris Elba – King of Speed (R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two. Documentary in which the Luther star embarks on an international journey to explore the history of car racing.

11.55 The Unforgettable Leslie Crowther (R,S). A profile of the game-show host.

12.30 Idris Elba – King of Speed (R,S,HD). Part two of two. The Luther star learns how to drive a rally car. 1.30 Sign Zone: World’s Busiest Maternity Ward (R,S). 2.30 Two Doors Down (R,S). 3.30 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.20 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming. 3.00 Do You Know Your Neighbours?: Tonight (R,S,HD). Residents are brought together to celebrate their community for the first time. 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.

10.00 Secrets of the Scammers (S). From traditional street scams to sophisticated online computer fraud. 10.55 Aliens (S,HD). (1986) Lone survivor Ripley joins a military force on a mission to face a horde of the creatures that wiped out her crew. Sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver and Michael Biehn. ●●●●●

1.50 Coming Up (R,S,HD). 2.15 Emily’s Song (R,S). 2.30 Food Unwrapped’s Christmas Dinner (R,S). The safest way to cook a turkey and the potency of champagne. 3.30 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (R,S,HD). 4.25 Deal or No Deal: Ideal Christmas (R,S,HD). 5.25 Countdown (R,S,HD).

11.00 Fat for Cash (R,S,HD). Documentary about three American women making money by appealing to men who prefer the larger form. Part of Supersize Night. 12.00 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.05 Monster Moves (R,S). A town in Quebec is uprooted to make way for a goldmine. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). A bachelor pad in Knutsford, Cheshire. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). Home improvements. 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

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THE ROYLE FAMILY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 9pm, GOLD

A new neighbour’s cleavage is one of the many topics of conversation as the couchpotato clan gathers for another fun-filled Christmas Day. This year Barbara has gone overboard with the presents after spending an entire two hours in the pound shop.

ITV2 6.00 Union J: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.35 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.00 Film: King Ralph (S,HD) (1991). ●● 8.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 9.20 Britain’s Got More Talent: Singers & Dancers (R,S,HD). 10.20 I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! Crown Jewels (R,S,HD). 11.20 I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Coming Out (R,S). 12.25 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.55 Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.25 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 1.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.00 You’ve Been Framed Rides Again! (R,S). 5.00 Film: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (S,HD) (2004). ●●

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 10.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 11.30 Charmed (R,S). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

Sky1 6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00 Airline (R,S). 8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 9.30 Shappi Khorsandi’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 9.45 Sanjeev Bhaskar’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 10.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 2.00 David Attenborough’s Natural History Museum Alive (R,HD). 3.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

RAB C NESBITT 10pm, BBC2

Rab turns to crime to make ends meet and models himself on Robin Hood, hiding out in a park to rob the rich and give to the poor. One-off episode of the comedy, with Gregor Fisher.

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL 8pm, BBC3

GOLD

Sky Sports 1

6.10 The Green Green Grass (S). 6.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.05 Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp. 7.35 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 8.35 Open All Hours (S). 9.15 Porridge (S). 9.55 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 10.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 12.30 Film: Stuart Little 2 (2002). ●●● 2.10 Open All Hours (S). 2.50 Porridge (S). 3.30 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

A League of Their Own, 9pm

Outnumbered, 8.05pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 16/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 17/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 22/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 19/22.

6.10 Thunderbirds (2004). See Choices Above. ●●

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring troublesome toys. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Teenage traumas and practical jokes.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Theresa seeks vengeance after being outfoxed by Carmel. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 24/24.

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/22. Homer fears he has only 24 hours to live. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 12/22.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 3/24. Alan plans a fun-filled weekend with his son. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 4/24. Charlie’s cleaning lady quits her job.

8.00 Grease (S,HD) (1978). A rebellious teenager falls for a shy Australian girl – but risks losing her love by trying to act cool. Musical set in the 1950s, starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. ●●●●●

8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 14/24. Manny and Luke compete for an acting role. 8.30 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). 2/12. With Ruth Jones and Alastair Campbell.

8.05 Outnumbered (S). Christmas special from 2012. The Brockmans throw a party.

9.00 A League of Their Own (R,S,HD). Sports-based comedy quiz, hosted by James Corden, with Jamie Redknapp and Andrew Flintoff as team captains.

9.00 The Royle Family Christmas Special (S). See Choices Above.

9.00 Tricked (R,S,HD). 1/6. Hidden-camera magic show, in which unsuspecting celebrities and members of the public are subjected to Ben Hanlin’s tricks and illusions.

10.00 Fake Reaction (S,HD). 10.15 The Final Destination 10.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life 1/10. New series. With (S,HD) (2009). Four (R,S,HD). 4/5. Karl aims Helen Flanagan, Marlon teenagers narrowly to bag himself a Davis, Brian McFadden escape being killed in a vocation. and his wife Vogue. tragedy at a racetrack – but Death is soon hot on 10.50 Utterly Outrageous their heels. Horror Reality TV Moments sequel, starring Bobby 2013 (R,S). Matt Campo and Shantel Edmondson presents. VanSanten. ●●●

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 12.45 Tricked (R,S,HD). Hiddencamera magic show, hosted by Ben Hanlin. 1.35 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 2.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special (R,S). 1.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.00 Geeks (R,S). 2.55 8 Out of 10 Cats Christmas Special (R,S). 3.45 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 4.05 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.50 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

12.00 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 1.15 A League of Their Own: Rally Special (R,S,HD). 1.45 Nothing to Declare (R,S). 2.15 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.10 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 Jane Horrocks’ Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.15 Sanjeev Bhaskar’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD).

12.10 The Royle Family Christmas Special (S). Dave comes up with an idea worthy of Dragons’ Den. 1.35 The Comic Strip Presents: Five Go to Rehab (S). Sequel to the first Comic Strip Presents film. 2.20 The Green Green Grass (S). Tyler and Earl the dog go missing. 3.00 Close

7.00 Winter Wipeout (R,S). Winter version of Total Wipeout. 8.00 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above. ●●● 10.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). An edition from 2010. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.30 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents (R,S,HD). 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (R,S). 2.00 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 2.30 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 3.00 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents (R,S).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today; Weather. 7.30 Mary Poppins (HD) (1964). A practically perfect Edwardian nanny with magical powers brings fun into the humdrum lives of two children. Disney’s musical fantasy, starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke. ●●●●● 9.45 Michael Grade’s Stars of the Musical Theatre. Investigating what makes a musical great. 10.45 Secret Voices of Hollywood (R,HD). A look at the “ghost singers”, whose voices were dubbed for Hollywood stars. 11.45 Old Jews Telling Jokes (R). 12.15 Old Jews Telling Jokes (R). 12.45 The Many Faces of Les Dawson (R). 1.45 Michael Grade’s Stars of the Musical Theatre (R). 2.45 The Bridge (R,HD).

THURSDAY January 2

1.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). Hibernian v Hearts. 2.00 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news. 2.30 FL72 Preview. A look ahead to the latest round of fixtures. 3.30 Soccer Extra (HD). Discussion programme. 5.30 Premier League World (HD).

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11.00 Soccer Extra (HD). Discussion programme.

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7.30 Live Scottish Premiership Football (HD). Hibernian v Hearts (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the first Edinburgh derby of 2014, which takes place at Easter Road.

10.20 Three Fugitives (1989). 10.00 FL72 Preview. A look A reformed bank robber ahead to the latest is an innocent bystander round of fixtures in in a heist, but when he is League One and League assumed to be guilty he Two. goes on the run with the actual crook. Comedy, with Nick Nolte and Martin Short. ●●●

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6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 The Sky Sports Years. 10.00 Soccer Extra (HD). 12.00 Football Special (HD). Extended highlights from the Premier League. 1.30 Soccer Extra (HD). Discussion programme. 3.30 The Sky Sports Years. A look back at Sky’s coverage in 2013. 4.30 FL72 Preview. 5.30 Soccer Extra (HD). Discussion programme.

Live Football, 7.30pm

11.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life (R,S,HD). 5/5. Karl ends his journey with a look at differing attitudes to death. Last in the series.

11.50 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 3/24. Alan plans a fun-filled weekend with his son.

A master criminal takes over Tracy Island, leaving International Rescue’s youngest member to save the day. Sci-fi adventure, starring Bill Paxton.

The archaeologist races to find an artefact of untold power. Action adventure sequel, starring Harrison Ford.

Grease, 8pm

Tricked, 9pm

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TV PICKS

SILENT WITNESS 9pm, BBC1

Part two of two. Isaac Dreyfus fights to prove his innocence, while Adam Freedman turns to a mysterious source to help avenge the murder of his wife and child.

BBC1

6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.10 Film: The Cat in the Hat (S,HD). (2003) ●● 10.25 Film: Race to Witch Mountain (S,HD). (2009) ●●● 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). Antique hunting in Corby, Northamptonshire. 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S). 1.45 Film: The Shaggy Dog (S,HD). (2006) Comedy remake, starring Tim Allen. ●●● 3.15 Escape to the Country (R,S). 4.15 Flog It! (S). 5.10 Pointless Celebrities (S,HD).

FILM RATINGS ●●●●● Excellent ●●●● Very good ●●● Good ●● Average ● Poor

KANGAROO DUNDEE 8pm, BBC2

An attack by a feral dog prompts Brolga to patrol the fence, and he takes in a joey that has been abandoned by its mother, while fellow kangaroo carer Anne Marie gives a bedraggled-looking infant a bath. As winter draws in at the sanctuary, Brolga makes the life-changing decision to move out.

BBC2

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.30 Britain’s Natural World: The Unnatural History of London (R,S,HD). 7.30 Sign Zone: The Secret Life of Mary Poppins: A Culture Show Special (R,S). 8.30 Britain’s Empty Homes (R,S,HD). 9.00 Africa (R,S,HD). 10.00 Earthflight: Flying High (R,S,HD). 11.00 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off – The Final (R,S,HD). 1.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 2.00 Film: Rebecca (S,HD). (1940) ●●●●● 4.05 The Queen’s Palaces (R,S,HD). 5.05 Antiques Roadshow (S).

PIERS MORGAN’S LIFE STORIES: JUNE BROWN 9pm, ITV

The EastEnders actress chats to Piers Morgan about her life and career. She reveals the challenges of juggling work with her home life, having given birth to six children in seven years.

ITV

6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD). Topical debate from a female perspective. 1.30 ITV News (S).; Weather 1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S). With Jack P Shepherd, Ice-T and Carol Smillie. 3.00 Secrets from the Workhouse (R,S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES COUNTDOWN 9pm, Channel 4

Jimmy Carr returns as host for four more editions of the comedy panel show’s version of the words-and-numbers quiz, as 8 Out of 10 Cats team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by guests from the world of comedy and entertainment. Countdown regular Rachel Riley does the maths.

Channel 4

6.10 According to Jim (HD). 6.35 Will & Grace 7.00 Film: Candleshoe (HD). (1977) ●●● 8.50 How I Met Your Mother (HD). 9.50 The Big Bang Theory (HD). 10.45 Film: King Kong (1976) ●● 1.15 Film: Zulu (HD). (1964) Fact-based historical drama, starring Michael Caine. ●●●● 4.00 Deal or No Deal (HD). Game show. 5.00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me (HD). With Laila Morse, Bobby Davro, Dane Bowers and Dani Behr.

Channel 5

6.00 Milkshake! 9.45 Inside Hollywood (R). 9.55 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.20 Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD). 11.20 Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD). 12.20 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.25 CSI: Miami (R,S). 1.15 Film: Doctor Zhivago (S). (1965) Epic drama, starring Omar Sharif and Julie Christie. ●●●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Cowboy Builders (R,S,HD).

Christmas University ... 8.30pm

The Martin Lewis Money Show, 8pm

Hollyoaks, 6.30pm

Celebrity Big Brother: Live ... 9pm

▼

6.00 BBC News (S,HD).; Weather 6.30 Regional News (S).; Weather

6.00 Celebrity Eggheads (R,S,HD). 6/10. Featuring former stars of Doctor Who. 6.30 Coast (R,S). 4/6. The Western Isles and Shetland.

6.00 Regional News (S).; Weather 6.30 ITV News (S).; Weather

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/22. Michael Moore guest stars. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S). Theresa seeks vengeance after being outfoxed by Carmel.

6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

▼

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD). 6/10. With John Cooper Clarke, Ben Faulks, Roy Hudd and Frank Turner. 7.30 A Question of Sport (S,HD). 10/36. With Steve Redgrave.

7.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events (R,S,HD). 1/3. Chris Packham investigates more peculiar natural events.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charity and Declan plant false evidence against Sam. 7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). Kylie’s drinking puts her children in danger.

7.00 Channel 4 News (S).

7.00 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD). Jason Bradbury and Rachel Riley test three 4K Blu-ray players. Followed by 5 News Update.

▼

6 7 8 9

EastEnders, 8pm

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Kat anxiously waits to hear some important news. 8.30 Miranda (R,S,HD). 4/6. The shop owner is trapped in her flat caring for her poorly mother.

8.00 Kangaroo Dundee (S,HD). 5/6. See Choices above. 8.30 Christmas University Challenge (R,S,HD). 10/10. The final of the quiz. Last in the series.

8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show (S,HD). 1/6. New series. Martin Lewis and Saira Khan tackle post-Christmas financial blues. 8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). David returns to see the danger Kylie has put the kids in.

8.00 Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking (S). The chef serves up a variety of comfort foods, including beef stew with dumplings, sausage hotpot and shepherd’s pie.

8.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge (S,HD). See Choices above.

▼

(R) repeat (S) subtitles (HD) highdefinition

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 2/10. See Choices above.

9.00 James May’s Toy Stories: The Motorcycle Diary (S,HD). The Top Gear presenter sets out to build a motorbike and sidecar entirely out of Meccano and complete a lap of the Isle of Man’s TT circuit with passenger Oz Clarke.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: June Brown (S,HD). 1/7. See Choices above.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (S). 1/4. See Choices above.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Launch (S,HD). See Choices above.

▼

10.00 Drive (S,HD). (2011) See Choices above. ●●●●

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S). 10.30 Regional News (S).; Weather 10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD). 2/13. The Jennings try to plant a bug in the defence secretary’s office before a conference is due to take place.

▼

10.00 BBC News (S,HD). 10.25 Regional News (S). Followed by National Lottery Update. 10.35 The Graham Norton Show (S,HD). A compilation of highlights from the chat show.

11.25 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus. Ronnie catches Roxy sneaking in after a night with Carl, Billy regrets giving Lucy her job back and Linda is surprised when Shirley stands up for her.

11.35 Top Gear Africa Special – Part One (R,S,HD). 6/7. Part one of two. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May visit Africa on a mission to find the definitive source of the Nile.

11.35 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 1/7. The Garveys’ holiday starts to go wrong at Alicante Airport.

2.20 Weatherview (S). 2.25 BBC News (S,HD).

12.35 Top Gear Africa Special – Part Two (R,S,HD). Part two of two. The quest to find the source of the River Nile concludes. 1.35 Sign Zone: DH Lawrence: A Journey Without Shame – A Culture Show Special (R,S). 2.35 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

12.30 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming. 3.00 Film: Hearts in Atlantis (S,HD). (2001) Drama, starring Anthony Hopkins. ●● 4.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

▼

after

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10.00 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2014 (S). Alex Zane welcomes in the New Year with 100 internet clips, featuring new videos alongside the best from the year just gone, including BatDad and LED baby.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side (HD). New series. Emma Willis and Rylan Clark present the CBB companion show, finding out what the studio audience think of the new intake. 12.05 Film: Alien 3 (S,HD). (1992) ●●● 2.05 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 2.35 The Big C: Hereafter (S,HD). 3.30 Don’t Trust the B**** in Apartment 23 (S,HD). 3.50 Suburgatory (S,HD). 4.10 Four Rooms (S,HD). 5.05 Deal or No Deal: Ideal Christmas (R,S,HD).

12.00 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.05 True CSI (S). The murder of model Constantine Dean Milo. 3.50 Motorsport Mundial (HD). A round-up of motorsport news. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 Great Scientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER: LIVE LAUNCH 9pm, Channel 5

Actor Robson Green returns to face off against more expert fishermen from around the world. His first destination is Greenland, where he begins by trying to catch redfish.

ITV2 6.00 Tinie Tempah: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.00 Holiday Airport: Orlando (R,S). 8.00 The Cube Olympic gold medallists Special (R,S,HD). 8.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 9.25 Britain’s Got More Talent: Most Amazing Moments (R,S,HD). 10.25 Britain’s Got More Talent: LOL Moments (R,S,HD). 11.25 Britain’s Got More Talent: Cutest Moments Ever (R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.45 Film: Junior (S,HD) (1994). Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. ●●●

Two and a Half Men, 8pm

The fly-on-the-wall fun begins once more as Emma Willis invites a fresh group of famous faces to move in together and have their every word and move recorded for the enjoyment of the viewing public. Following the back-tobasics vibe of the previous series, the house has been given a high-class makeover.

Sky1

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 10.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 11.30 Charmed (R,S). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).

6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 6.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Airline (R,S). 8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 9.30 Jane Horrocks’ Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 9.45 Harry Hill’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 10.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle (R,S,HD). 2.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (R,S). 3.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

FILM PICKS

ROBSON’S EXTREME FISHING CHALLENGE 8pm, Channel 5

DRIVE 10pm, BBC2

ELF 8pm, Sky1

A stuntman-turnedgetaway driver tries to protect a criminal’s family, only to get drawn into a conflict with the Mafia. Crime drama, with Ryan Gosling.

GOLD 6.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 8.55 Open All Hours (S). 9.35 Porridge (S). 10.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 10.55 Outnumbered – The Christmas Special (S). 11.50 Film: Thunderbirds (S) (2004). Sci-fi adventure. ●● 1.50 Open All Hours (S). 2.30 Porridge (S). 3.10 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 5.50 Film: Jack (1996). Comedy drama. ●

French and Saunders, 10.55pm

A man raised as an elf in Santa’s workshop retraces his human roots, but is unprepared for life in the Big Apple. Fantasy comedy, starring Will Ferrell.

Sky Sports 1 6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD). 9.00 FL72 Preview. 10.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 11.00 Ringside Special (HD). 12.00 The Rugby Club (HD). 1.00 Premier League World (HD). 1.30 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 2.30 FL72 Preview. 3.30 Premier League World (HD). 4.00 Scottish Premiership Football (HD). 5.00 FL72 Preview.

Ice Age, 7.30pm

Moonfleet, 9.50pm

6.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 18/23. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 19/23.

6.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 24/24. 6.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 13/22. Homer illegally taps into cable TV.

6.00 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news. 6.30 The Fantasy Football Club (HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Blunders on the beach. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). Featuring troublesome toys.

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Carmel enlists an old friend to help her battle Theresa. 7.30 Ice Age (S,HD) (2002). Three mismatched

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 21/22. Ned and Edna tie the knot. 7.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 12/22. With the guest voice of Britney Spears.

8.00 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 5/24. Charlie attends one of Jake’s soccer games. 8.30 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 6/24. Charlie considers his treatment of women.

prehistoric animals face perils and pitfalls as they try to return a human baby to its tribe. Animated adventure, with the voices of John Leguizamo and Ray Romano. ●●●

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). Gillingham v Wolverhampton Wanderers (Kick-off 7.45pm). All the action from the League One encounter at the Priestfield Stadium.

9.00 GoldenEye (S,HD) (1995). James Bond goes in pursuit of a satellite weapon that has fallen into the hands of a mysterious criminal mastermind. Spy adventure, with Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean and Famke Janssen. ●●●●

9.10 Hot Tub Time Machine (S,HD) (2010). Three unhappy friends travel back in time to their youth in 1986 and are tempted to give themselves the lives they always wanted. Sci-fi comedy, starring John Cusack and Clark Duke. ●●●

8.00 Elf (S) (2003). See Choices above. ●●●

9.50 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 1/2. Ray Winstone stars in this two-part adaptation of John Meade Falkner’s 19th-century novel following an orphan and a grizzled smuggler thrown together on a dangerous quest. 10.50 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 2/2. John and Elzevir set sail for a new life in France, until they realise Blackbeard’s locket could lead them to the diamond. Conclusion of the adventure, starring Ray Winstone.

11.40 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 5/24. Charlie attends one of Jake’s soccer games.

11.10 The IT Crowd Special: The Internet Is Coming (R,S,HD). Roy and Jen’s reputations are put at risk in the final episode.

11.50 Spartacus: Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 12/13. Spartacus plots revenge against Batiatus.

12.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S). 12.40 MC Hammer’s Big Shot Academy (R,S,HD). 1.40 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (R,S,HD). 2.05 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.25 Teleshopping. Home shopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

12.15 The IT Crowd Manual (R,S,HD). 1.20 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.15 PhoneShop (R,S,HD). 2.40 Facejacker (R,S,HD). 3.05 Very Important People (R,S,HD). 3.30 Balls of Steel Australia (R,S). 3.55 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

1.05 A League of Their Own: Unseen – Part One (R,S,HD). 2.05 Road Wars (S,HD). 3.05 Road Wars (S,HD). 4.00 Alan Davies’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.15 Jane Horrocks’ Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter (R,S). 5.00 Airline (R,HD). 5.30 Airline (R,S,HD).

8.00 One Foot in the Algarve (S). Victor and Margaret encounter more than just sea and sand on a two-week holiday in Portugal in this feature-length special from 1993. Guest starring Joan Sims and Peter Cook.

FL72 Live, 7.30pm

10.00 Outnumbered – The 10.00 The Fantasy Football Christmas Special (S). Club (HD). John Fendley The family’s Christmas is and Paul Merson present marred by burglars – and a discussion on key a missing hamster. fantasy football issues, as well as the weekend’s 10.55 French and Saunders Premier League matches. (S). Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders perform sketches in this 1998 Christmas edition of the show, featuring a spoof of the film Titanic. 11.00 Football Gold. Classic With guests Helen action. Mirren and the Spice 11.15 Football Gold. Classic Girls. action. 11.30 Premier League World (HD). A round-up of the latest news. 12.00 30 Years of Comic Strip (S). Celebration of the comedy team. 2.00 A Child’s Christmases in Wales. Festive comedy drama, starring Ruth Jones. 3.00 Close

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). Gillingham v Wolverhampton Wanderers. 1.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 2.00 Football Gold. 2.15 Football Gold. 2.30 Premier League World (HD). 3.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.00 The Fantasy Football Club (HD). 5.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).

BBC3

7.00 Great Movie Mistakes 2013 (R,S,HD). Blunders in Hollywood films. 7.30 The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper (R,S,HD). 7.40 Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (S,HD) (2008). Animated adventure, with the voice of Ben Stiller. ●● 9.00 Sherlock (R,S,HD). Holmes resurfaces as London comes under threat of terrorist attack. 10.30 EastEnders (R,S,HD). 11.00 Family Guy (R,S). 11.25 Family Guy (R,S). 11.45 American Dad! (R,S,HD). 12.10 Film: Starship Troopers (S) (1997). ●●●● 2.05 Impractical Jokers (R,S,HD). 2.35 Snow, Sex and Suspicious Parents (R,S,HD). 3.35 Going Native (R,S,HD).

BBC4

7.00 World News Today; Weather. 7.30 Diamonds Are Forever: The Don Black Songbook (HD). Lyricist Don Black shares some fascinating insights into his life’s work with Michael Grade, in between performances of his songs by eminent musicians at The Royal Festival Hall. 9.00 The Story of Top of the Pops 1979. A look back at a heady year for the chart show. 10.00 Top of the Pops: 1979 – Big Hits (HD). 11.00 The Old Grey Whistle Test: 70s Gold (R). 12.30 The Story of Top of the Pops 1979 (R). 1.30 Top of the Pops: 1979 – Big Hits (R,HD). 2.30 Diamonds Are Forever: The Don Black Songbook (R,HD).

FRIDAY January 3 ��’� ��

Homes &Living �� ’� ��

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