Ennea-Charts Reference Booklet

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ENNEA-CHARTS

By Jackie Wells Smith

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Reference Guide


The Ennea-Charts Reference Guide By Jackie Wells Smith Published by Wells-Smith Partners © Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved Find us on the World Wide Web at: www.HowToCreateAHappierLife.com Reproduction or translation of any part of this work beyond that permitted by Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act without permission of the copyright owner is unlawful. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the express written permission of the pubisher. Printed in the United States of America. Requests for permission or further information should be addressed to the Wells-Smith Partners, 4737 Nantucket Dr., Lilburn, Georgia 30047. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, therapeutic, medical, theologic or other professional services. If professional assistance is required, the services of a certified or licensed person should be sought. — From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

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The Ennea-Charts System: How the Enneagram Works¸


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The Ennea-Charts System: How the Enneagram Works¸


What is the Enneagram? The Enneagram of Nine Personalities The Passionate Peacemaker

9

The Protective Leader

The ThrillSeeking Adventurer

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Ethical 1 The Idealist

7

The Loyal Supporter

Nurturing 2 The Caretaker

3 The Determined

6 The Objectiive Intellectual

Achiever

5

Sensitive 4 The Individualist

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Enneagram of Nine Personalities is a system that describes nine basic personalities. It diagrams how your personality works, how it was formed, and exactly where you need to look to uncover your most self-defeating behavior patterns. The Enneagram includes both the psychological and spiritual aspects of an individual giving you insight into the motivations and beliefs behind your actions. Personalities are comprised of your genetics, your life experiences and what you say to yourself about both. When you change what you believe to be true about yourself, everything about your life will begin to shift in ways that will make you a happier and more effective person.

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The Enneagram Symbol The enneagram symbol is at least 2500 years old and has been found in ancient writings from several civilizations. One of those texts was Pythagoras’ collection of “sacred” symbols used to understand abstract concepts that are difficult to describe with words. (If you remember from your high school geometry class the Pythagorean theorem, it’s the same Greek scholar.) Pythagoras believed certain symbols could expain the mysteries of life. The enneagram might be roughly compared to the process tools now used by business analysts. The symbol was introduced to the modern world in the 1920’s by George Gurdjieff, a priest, physician, world explorer and entrepreneur. He used the enneagram to explain the “mysteries of the cosmos” to his students. In 1954, Oscar Ichazo, founder of the Arica School for Personal Development, applied nine basic personality types to the enneagram symbol using the vices and virtues inspired by Judeo-Christian teachings. Since then, psychologists and theologians have added to the system now known as the Enneagram of Nine Personalities. The enneagram symbol is actually a combination of three figures: a circle, triangle and hexad. Each part has symbolic meaning.

\The circle symbolizes the whole of life.

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The triangle represents the Law of Three which is two opposing forces and a middle point that connects them — like black/gray/white/ or up/center/down.

The hexad represents the Law of Seven, which is the process or stages of change in the universe. It’s always drawn in the sequence of 1 4 2 8 5 7 1. (The sequence of numbers comes from converting the fraction 1/7 to a decimal.) The stages of change are: idea, creative/imagination, consensus, strength/movement, thought/problem solving, inspiration/celebration, and idea to start the process again. These three concepts – The Whole, Law of Three and Law of Seven – can be found in the behavior patterns in the nine personalities and how they relate to each other.

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1

7

2

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The Ennea-Charts System: How the Enneagram Works

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The Nine Enneagram Personalities The Enneagram maps nine personality types and the way they interconnect and relate to one another. You have qualities from each of the Types, but one more than any other best describes your personality as a whole. This is called your Primary Type. Each type has protecting and connecting qualities that affect your happiness. These traits describe how your personality works when you are relaxed and at your best, and when you are stressed and defensive. Different teachers of the Enneagram use various names but for the sake of clarity we are simply calling them Happiness Qualities and Stressed/Unhappiness Qualities. • Happiness Qualities — These qualities describe your Ennea-type when secure, relaxed and open to challenges. You are at your happiest and most effective when your behavior reflects these traits, ready to connect to life and to others. • Stressed/Unhappiness Qualities — These are the qualities that describe your Ennea-type when you are stressed, fearful and trying to protect yourself. You’re unhappiest when behaving with these qualities.

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The Nine Ennea-types Type 1 — The Ethical Idealist Happiness Qualities: Principled, discerning, idealistic. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be a perfectionist and abrasive. Type 2 — The Nurturing Caretaker Happiness Qualities: Compassionate, empathetic, affectionate. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be a flatterer and meddler. Type 3 — The Determined Achiever Happiness Qualities: Success-oriented, adaptable, motivated. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be driven and image conscious. Type 4 — The Sensitive Individualist Happiness Qualities: Original, artistic, romantic. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be melancholy and self-absorbed. Type 5 — The Objective Intellectual Happiness Qualities: Curious, insightful, pioneering. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be cynical and stingy. Type 6 — The Loyal Supporter Happiness Qualities: Committed, reliable, compassionate. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be suspicious and a worrier. Type 7 — The Thrill-Seeking Adventurer Happiness Qualities: Spontaneous, versatile, fun-loving. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be distracted and undisciplined. Type 8 — The Protective Leader Happiness Qualities: Confident, decisive, generous. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be controlling and confrontational. Type 9 — The Passionate Peacemaker Happiness Qualities: Receptive, reassuring, passionate. Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Can also be stubborn and disconnected.

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How the Enneagram is Organized The information about each of the nine Ennea-types is organized by a system of Blocks, Triads, Arrows and Wings. The Triads describe how the personality works through motivations and beliefs for each Enneatype. The Arrows point to the movement of each Type as it adapts to, and copes with stress and challenges. The Wings describe the underdeveloped and disowned qualities, and the inspiration of each type.

The Blocks The Blocks describe the behavior patterns and qualities of the Ennea-types: • Natural Center— Your genetic qualities of temperament are your abilities, talents and strengths. The closer you live your life connected to your center, the happier you are. • Connecting Virtue — This higher quality summarizes your Ennea-type at it’s best, and when developed, it connects you to lasting happiness. • Separating Vice — This is the quality that your Ennea-type uses to avoid fear. It’s the behavior habit that most interferes with your happiness when you are stressed and off center. • Helplessness Belief — This belief formed early in your life and affected the development of your social intelligence. These early patterns can still interfere with your adult relationships until you observe them, challenge them and make a choice to change them. • Helplessness Fear — This fear is at the root of all your fears. • Happiness Desire — Trying to satisfy this desire is the motivation for all of the actions of your Enneatype. • Missing Connection — This is a quality that is weak in your Ennea-type and the source of much of your selfdefeating behavior. If it’s developed, a much higher level of emotional intelligence results and more happiness.

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The Triads The Enneagram has four basic triads describing a different aspect of the emotional style for each of the Types. The Enneagram Triads are: • The Intelligence Triad describes the three basic intelligences that make up human interactions: instinct, emotion and thought. We have all of these intelligence functions but one in particular describes the behavior strategies used by each of the Ennea-types to get what is wanted and needed. • The Coping Triad describes how the types react to social fear and gives insights into the emotional style each type uses intheir relationships. • The Essential Instincts Triad describes which of the three basic drives (self-preservation, intimacy and belonging) is the highest priority for each of types. This triad tells you how these basic needs affect your priorities and decision-making. • The Disappointment Triad describes the outlook on life of each Ennea-type and how it handles their disappointment when expectations are not met.

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The Intelligence Triad The Intelligence Triad describes how the three intelligence functions of instinct, emotion and higher thought and reason affect your personality. These intelligence centers are the neurological tools you use to perceive and experience the world. • Types FIVE, SIX and SEVEN are in the Thought Center, and formed behavior patterns around their thoughts and ability to reason. • Types TWO, THREE and FOUR are in the Emotion Center, placing their priority on the satisfaction of their emotional needs. • Types EIGHT, NINE and ONE are in the Instinct Center, focusing their attention on their physical surroundings and security. Of course, you have all three types of intelligence, but one heavily influences your Ennea-type’s behavior habits. In that center, you will find both the strength of your type and the source of your self-defeating behavior. When the three intelligences are balanced they create a personality that is adaptable, resilient, flexible, creative, organized, emotionally stable and focused. These qualities are found in the happiest and most successful people.

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1 Instinctual

7

2 Mental

Emotional

6

3 5

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The Coping Triad The Coping Triad describes each Ennea-type’s social style and how that type copes with social fears. Much of our social interactions are rooted in the fear of how we will be seen and treated by others. Your fear reactions formed the behaviors you use to interact with other people. There are three coping styles: assertive, withdrawn and controlled. Your coping style corresponds to the survival reactions of fight, flight or freeze. The assertive types (THREE, SEVEN, EIGHT) react to fear by fighting with others in some way. This can be lashing out, yelling, being confrontational or competitive. The withdrawn types (FOUR, FIVE, NINE) take flight and avoid conflicts with others when they are afraid. This can be withdrawing from relationships or avoiding challenges. It can also be “zoning out” around others. The controlled types (ONE, TWO, SIX) freeze by suppressing their fear reactions. This coping style tends to deny their emotional reactions by calling them something else, or pretending to feel things they don’t. Notice the pattern in the Coping Triad of over-expressing fear (assertive), under-expressing (controlled), or avoidance (withdrawn). This information can be practically applied to improving your personal and professional relationships by noticing when you come on too strong or not strong enough. You may be the type to avoid conflict altogether to your own detriment.

9W 8A

1C

7A

2C

3A

6C 5W

4W

Emotional Fear Style Reaction Withdrawn Flight Controlled Freeze Assertive Fight

The Ennea-Charts System: How the Enneagram Works

EnneaTypes 9, 5, 4 6, 2, 1 8, 7, 3

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The Essential Instincts Triad The Essential Instincts Triad describes the survival needs that we all have of self-preservation, intimacy and belonging. is the need to have a secure place within a group of people. This need is satisfied when you know your contribution matters to others. Of course, you have all three essential needs, but the one that is dominant in your personality is where you had the most unmet needs in early childhood. When a need went unmet, compensating behavior patterns formed to get what was missing. This allowed you to continue to grow and develop. Many of your current behavior patterns come from these early strategies to get your needs met. As an adult, you make decisions and set your priorities based on which of these essential needs is dominant. Understanding more about this triad allows you to be free of self-defeating choices that no longer have a place in your life or make you happy.

Belonging Intimacy Self-Preservation All three instincts are part of each type, but one is dominant

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The Disappointment Triad Our happiness is largely based on getting the things we expect. Our lives begin with expectations of a good career, positive relationships, respect and security. How we react to disappointment shapes our personality by affecting our outlook on life and our happiness. The three styles of managing disappointment are avoiders, defenders and performers. The avoiders, types TWO, SEVEN and NINE, have a positive outlook on life, but tend to manage disappointment by avoiding it with some form of denial or avoidance. The defenders, types FOUR, SIX and EIGHT, are guarded and often distrustful in their outlook. They manage disappointment by assuming they can only rely on themselves never fully trusting others. The performers, types ONE, THREE and FIVE, are pragmatic in their outlook and highly competent and organized people. They try to prevent disappoint from happening by controlling the rules and standards.

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1

2

7

3

6 5

4

2, 7, 9 Avoiders 4, 6, 8 Defenders 1, 3, 5 Performers

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The Arrows The Enneagram uses Arrows to show how your personality moves to adapt to stress and challenge. Each Type has two Arrows, an Expansion Point and a Stress Point found in the traits of another Ennea-type. The Expansion Point shows you how your personality will relax and open when things are going well in your life. You can use this information to manage the positive challenges and opportunities you choose for your life. The Stress Point shows you how your personality will react to fear and the difficulties of life. You can use this information as a self-observation tool to create healthy, constructive strategies for managing stress. The happiest people are the most adaptable and flexible. The key to a happier life is learning how to respond to your challenges instead of reacting to them. The Enneagram Arrows not only point out selfsabotaging behavior habits, but how your personality will change and grow if it’s strengthened by certain positive traits.

Here are the Expansion and Stress Arrows and qualities for each type. The Expansion Point of each Ennea-type has a quality that if developed will enhance your success and happiness. The Stress Point has quality that is the most likely reaction to stress. Type

Expansion Point/ Quality

Stress Point/ Reaction

ONE

7 — Playful

4 — Envious

TWO

4 — Creative

8 — Aggressive

THREE

6 — Loyal

9 — Apathetic

FOUR

1 — Organized

2 — Possessive

FIVE

8 — Confident

7 — Distracted

SIX

9 — Receptive

3 — Driven

SEVEN

5 — Focused

1 — Critical

EIGHT

2 — Compassionate

5 — Distant

NINE

3 — Determined

6 — Anxious

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The Wings The Ennea-types to the left and right of your Ennea-type are your Wings. The Wings are another way your personality expands and adapts to be more flexible with greater emotional intelligence. Your Energizing Point to the right of your Primary Type, shows the traits you need to develop to become more motivated or inspired to take on new challenges. Your Grounding Wing to the left of your Primary type, shows the parts of your personality that are disowned or under-developed. Your personality formed trying to avoid behaving with these traits. Ironically, these are the very qualities you most need to develop for greater emotional intelligence. Many people have a personality with a strong Wing influence blending qualities of the two types, though one type remains dominant.

Grounding Point/ Quality

Type

9 — Acceptance

ONE

2— Helpfulness

1 — Discipline

TWO

3 — Focus

2 — Kindness

THREE

4 — Creativity

3 — Enterprising

FOUR

5 — Objectivity

4 — Sensitivity

FIVE

6 — Connection

5 — Clarity

SIX

7 — Spontaneity

6 — Caution

SEVEN

8 — Leadership

7 — Openness

EIGHT

9 — Empathy

8 — Strength

NINE

1 — Purposefulness

The Ennea-Charts System: How the Enneagram Works

Energizing Point/ Quality

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The Opportunity of the Enneagram Oscar Ichazo, founder of the Arica School for Human Development, originated the Enneagram of Nine Personalities in 1954. Claudio Naranjo, M.D., psychiatrist, Fulbright scholar and personality specialist, took Ichazo’s Enneagram and developed it further into a tool for psychoanalysis. He became interested in the system in the early 1970’s while on sabbatical after the death of his son. Over the past 50 years, this system has captured the interest of many talented people, from both the behavioral sciences and theology, who have contributed to it. The Enneagram of Nine Personalities presents an opportunity like no other self-development tool available. It allows you to understand exactly how your personality works so you can change and adapt who you are and how you behave. The happiest and most successful people have certain common personality traits which correspond to the Enneagram’s higher qualities. As you balance your personality by developing those traits, you become happier and more effective in your life. The Ennegram is like a process tool that shows you how to do that. Our beliefs that we accept as being true have a profound effect on the way we cope with stress, and how happy we allow ourselves to become. Beliefs and attitudes are all factors that can be changed, which means you have significant control over your happiness. By examining your beliefs and deciding if they are really true, and if they contribute to your happiness, it is possible to change the attitudes and motivations that determine your happiness. The Enneagram maps out these attitudes, beliefs and motivations so you can pinpoint exactly the places where you are interfering with your own happiness. It can also be used to determine more constructive behaviors. Working with the Enneagram is like mapping out a new strategy for your happiness. In this booklet we have covered the most basic elements of the Enneagram and how it works. For more information about using the Enneagram to create more happiness, go to www.HowToCreateAHappierLife.com.

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The Ennea-Charts System: How the Enneagram Works¸


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The information on the cards will give you quick clues to help you with self-observation and offer tips for connecting to other types.

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Front of Card The front of the cards shows the movement of each of the nine personality types with the Enneagram Arrows and Wings. Personalities change and adapt to fit the different situations and roles that make up our lives. The Arrows and Wings show the patterns of adaptation for each of the Ennea-types.

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Ennea-Type ONE The Ethical Idealist At Their Happiest and Most Effective: Principled, Discerning, High-Minded Unhappy and Stressed: Abrasive and Critical Perfectionists

Direction of Expansion = Green Arrows

9

Direction of Stress = Red Arrows Grounding Wing = Brown Arrow

8

Arrows Expansion Point:

When ONEs learn to be more spontaneous and playful like healthy SEVENs, they enjoy their life by becoming more relaxed, no longer feeling the pressure to never make a mistake.

Stress Point: Stressed ONEs become envious like ego-reactive FOURs and fantasize about being free of responsibility. Often this is responsibility they have assumed, that really belongs to someone else.

7 6

wINGs

5

Energizing Wing:

When ONEs align with TWO qualities of kindness, they become energized by empathy and experience deeper connections with the people in their life.

Grounding Wing:

ONEs have more emotional satisfaction when they relax their standards a little and learn to be more accepting of others, like a healthy NINE.

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Energizing Wing = Yellow Arrow

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ONEs with a strong influence from the‌ NINE Wing are intellectual, reserved and very loyal people of integrity. They have the idealism

of a ONE, but can be perceived as elitist, stiff or impersonal because of the NINE tendency to withdraw. TWO Wing are passionate activists and can be hands-on with the causes they support. They

are warmer and less judgmental than other ONEs, focusing more on people than ideas.

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Front of Card Type and Qualities

Grounding Wing — This point describes the disowned quality to develop for greater emotional intelligence.

Wing Influences — This information describes how the primary type is impacted by a strong influence of either the Energizing or Grounding Wing.

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Energizing Wing — This point describes how each type can become more motivated to constructive action.

Stress Point — The Strees Point describes how this type reacts to the fear of not having needs and expectations met. This point is used as a self-observation tool.

Expansion Point — The Expansion Point decribes how each type opens as it feels relaxed and secure. This point has a quality that when developed helps this type become more focused and receptive to challenge.

Arrows and Wings– The graphic shows the points of movement on the Enneagram for each types.

Qualities — The fist line describes the dominant qualities of this type when at it’s best. The second line describes this type at it’s worst and unhappiest.

Name of type — This summerizes each type when at it best and happiest.

The Ennea-Charts System: Using the Charts


1 1

At Their Happiest and Most Effective: Principled, Discerning, High-Minded Unhappy and Stressed: Abrasive and Critical Perfectionists

Direction of Expansion = Green Arrows

9

Direction of Stress = Red Arrows Grounding Wing = Brown Arrow

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Arrows Expansion Point:

When ONEs learn to be more spontaneous and playful like healthy SEVENs, they enjoy their life by becoming more relaxed, no longer feeling the pressure to never make a mistake.

Stress Point: Stressed ONEs become envious like ego-reactive FOURs and fantasize about being free of responsibility. Often this is responsibility they have assumed, that really belongs to someone else.

7 6

wINGs

5

Energizing Wing:

When ONEs align with TWO qualities of kindness, they become energized by empathy and experience deeper connections with the people in their life.

Grounding Wing:

ONEs have more emotional satisfaction when they relax their standards a little and learn to be more accepting of others, like a healthy NINE.

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Energizing Wing = Yellow Arrow

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ONEs with a strong influence from the…

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Ennea-Type ONE

NINE Wing are intellectual, reserved and very loyal people of integrity. They have the idealism

of a ONE, but can be perceived as elitist, stiff or impersonal because of the NINE tendency to withdraw. TWO Wing are passionate activists and can be hands-on with the causes they support. They

are warmer and less judgmental than other ONEs, focusing more on people than ideas.

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Back of Card Blocks This information comes from the Enneagram Blocks. The Blocks describe the significant parts that make up each of the nine Ennea-types’ personality .

Triads This information comes the the Enneagram Triads. The Triads describe the emotional style of each of the Ennea-types.

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� © 2012 WELLS-SMITH PARTNERS.

Natural Center: ONEs at their best reflect the quality of idealism. Helplessness Belief: At the core of ONE’s self-defeating behavior is the belief that they must earn love and respect by never making a mistake. Helplessness Fear: ONEs are most afraid of being too “bad” to be loved and accepted. Happiness Desire: ONEs most want to have integrity; to do and be good. UNHAPPY & STRESSED

HAPPIEST & MOST EFFECTIVE

Separating Vice: Anger — ONEs often resent others for not meeting thier expectations, and angry with themselves for their failures and imperfections.

Connecting Virtue: Serenity — The most effective ONEs are at peace with themselves by accepting the bad and the good as being part of life.

Stressed ONEs Seek: Perfection — Unhappy or Stressed ONEs try to make the world perfect by imposing their standards on everyone around them.

Happiest ONEs Give: Idealism — Happy ONEs possess an idealism for making the world a better place.

Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Rigid, inflexible, worriers, intolerance, perfectionism, critical, opinionated, picky, demanding and self-righteous.

Happiness Qualities: Wise, dependable, fair, detailoriented, conscientious, honest, ethical, prudent, hardworking, composed, purposeful, and idealistic.

Missing Connection: Joyfulness — ONEs have difficulty connecting with the feeling of joy believing it is only found when their life is perfect.

Happiest Self: Happy ONEs have the ability to rally people to make a difference in the world with their idealism about what is possible.

False Self-Image: ONEs see themselves as the reasonable person who knows the right way to do things.

Highest Self: The happiest ONEs accept that there are many right ways to do something.

CONNECTING TO ONES

INTIMACY WITH ONES

Demonstrate fairness and integrity when dealing with ONEs. They’re very ethical people.

Find ways to help them slow down. ONEs are usually very hard on themselves.

Acknowledge and appreciate the extra effort they put into the things they do.

Encourage them to relax and have more fun, and to plan and organize a little less.

If you are wrong, admit it and apologize. ONEs can be very forgiving if they don’t feel you are blaming them for the mistakes of others.

Avoid sounding critical. Use words like “we missed the mark” or “not quite what I expected.” Encourage with a statement like “we’ve learned how to do this a little better.”

Be clear about your expectations. ONEs like knowing exactly what you want them to do.

Understand the source of their criticism is the mistaken belief that they are deficient.

When they make a mistake, reassure them of your continued respect.

Let them know they will still be loved if they let go of some responsibility.

EMOTIONAL STYLE OF ONES Coping Style: Stressed or unhappy ONEs control their fear in social connections by controlling the standards and compelling others to follow their rules. Happy and healthy ONEs don’t always have to be right. Disappointment Style: ONEs try to out-perfom disappointment by holding themselves to very high standards and working hard to avoid ever making a mistake or disappointing anyone. The happiest and most effective ONEs are still very hardworking, but more relaxed about trying new things, even if they make mistakes. Bonding Style: ONEs who are stressed or unhappy bond by trying to earn the love or good opinion of others. They get very upset if they think they haven’t met your standard. The happiest ONEs are people of integrity who are accepting of shortcomings in themselves and others.

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Back of Card Natural Center — This decribes your genetic temperament. The more you direct your life to stay close to your Natural Center, the happier you will be. Helplessness Belief — Very early in life we each a moment of realization that there would be times when we would not be able to control our circumstances. This is a normal part of our development when we first realize that we may not be enough to get what we need to be safe and secure. This realization has such an impact on our personality, we developed a core belief around it that is the root of our most self-defeating social patterns. Helplessness Fear — At the root of all of our fears is one that is connected to our Helplessness Belief. Each of the Ennea-types has a different fear that impacts our relationships and social contacts. Happiness Desire — Each Ennea-Type has something that is most desired. This goes deeper than money, status or material objects. It’s an emotional need that is the core motivation for all of your actions and decisions.

Unhappy and Stressed When we are stressed and unhappy, we are operating with ego strategies to protect ourselves. The first and most important need we have is to feel safe and secure that our physical and emotional needs will be met. This section describes the behavior patterns of each type under stress. SEPARATING VICE – This is the preferred self-protection strategy for each of the types. Stressed Types seek — This describes what each type most wants to feel safe and secure when a physical or emotional threat is perceived. Unhappy or Stressed Qualities — This is the behavior traits each type uses to react to threats. Missing Connection — This is an under-developed quality that when developed helps each type become happier and more effective in every area of their life. False Self-Image — This is the image each type presents to the world and how it wants to be seen by others.

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Natural Center: ONEs at their best reflect the quality of idealism. Helplessness Belief: At the core of ONE’s self-defeating behavior is the belief that they must earn love and respect by never making a mistake. Helplessness Fear: ONEs are most afraid of being too “bad” to be loved and accepted. Happiness Desire: ONEs most want to have integrity; to do and be good. UNHAPPY & STRESSED

HAPPIEST & MOST EFFECTIVE

Separating Vice: Anger — ONEs often resent others for not meeting thier expectations, and angry with themselves for their failures and imperfections.

Connecting Virtue: Serenity — The most effective ONEs are at peace with themselves by accepting the bad and the good as being part of life.

Stressed ONEs Seek: Perfection — Unhappy or Stressed ONEs try to make the world perfect by imposing their standards on everyone around them.

Happiest ONEs Give: Idealism — Happy ONEs possess an idealism for making the world a better place.

Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Rigid, inflexible, worriers, intolerance, perfectionism, critical, opinionated, picky, demanding and self-righteous.

Happiness Qualities: Wise, dependable, fair, detailoriented, conscientious, honest, ethical, prudent, hardworking, composed, purposeful, and idealistic.

Missing Connection: Joyfulness — ONEs have difficulty connecting with the feeling of joy believing it is only found when their life is perfect.

Happiest Self: Happy ONEs have the ability to rally people to make a difference in the world with their idealism about what is possible.

False Self-Image: ONEs see themselves as the reasonable person who knows the right way to do things.

Highest Self: The happiest ONEs accept that there are many right ways to do something.

CONNECTING TO ONES

INTIMACY WITH ONES

Demonstrate fairness and integrity when dealing with ONEs. They’re very ethical people.

Find ways to help them slow down. ONEs are usually very hard on themselves.

Acknowledge and appreciate the extra effort they put into the things they do.

Encourage them to relax and have more fun, and to plan and organize a little less.

If you are wrong, admit it and apologize. ONEs can be very forgiving if they don’t feel you are blaming them for the mistakes of others.

Avoid sounding critical. Use words like “we missed the mark” or “not quite what I expected.” Encourage with a statement like “we’ve learned how to do this a little better.”

Be clear about your expectations. ONEs like knowing exactly what you want them to do.

Understand the source of their criticism is the mistaken belief that they are deficient.

When they make a mistake, reassure them of your continued respect.

Let them know they will still be loved if they let go of some responsibility.

© 2012 WELLS-SMITH PARTNERS.

EMOTIONAL STYLE OF ONES Coping Style: Stressed or unhappy ONEs control their fear in social connections by controlling the standards and compelling others to follow their rules. Happy and healthy ONEs don’t always have to be right. Disappointment Style: ONEs try to out-perfom disappointment by holding themselves to very high standards and working hard to avoid ever making a mistake or disappointing anyone. The happiest and most effective ONEs are still very hardworking, but more relaxed about trying new things, even if they make mistakes. Bonding Style: ONEs who are stressed or unhappy bond by trying to earn the love or good opinion of others. They get very upset if they think they haven’t met your standard. The happiest ONEs are people of integrity who are accepting of shortcomings in themselves and others.

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Happiest and Most Effective When we are are happiest and at our best, each type behaves with certain qualities that connect us to others and to our happiest life. This section describes each type at its happiest and most effective self. Connecting Virtue — This is the preferred strength of each of the Ennea-types and the quality that describes them at their best. It is also a focal point for growth and self-development. Happiest Types Give — When at their best, each type as a quality that best describes the contribution they make to the lives of others. Happiness Qualities — This is a list of the qualties that describe this type when at their happiest and most effective. Happiest Self — This is a special ability that each type has to offer. Highest Self — When we put aside the images we like to project of ourselves, underneath is the self we were meant to be. This describes the truest self for each of the types.

Connecting and Intimacy We have the most successful relationships when we put aside the self-protection strategies of our ego. This is when wetune into the emotional and social needs of others and stop worrying about the image we present. This section describes how to move past the image and connect to each type. CONNECTING TO EACH TYPE — These are ideas for how to best connect to people of this type at work or in a social setting and avoid bumping into the egos of other types. INTIMACY WITH EACH TYPE — Use this information in your closest and intimate relationships for deeper connections and to avoid misunderstandings.

Emotional Style This is the way each of the types expresses their emotions when threatened, frustrated and disappointed. It also includes a decription of how they try to bonding with others when forming relationships.

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The Ennea-Charts System: Using the Charts


Natural Center: ONEs at their best reflect the quality of idealism. Helplessness Belief: At the core of ONE’s self-defeating behavior is the belief that they must earn love and respect by never making a mistake. Helplessness Fear: ONEs are most afraid of being too “bad” to be loved and accepted. Happiness Desire: ONEs most want to have integrity; to do and be good. UNHAPPY & STRESSED

� © 2012 WELLS-SMITH PARTNERS.

HAPPIEST & MOST EFFECTIVE

Separating Vice: Anger — ONEs often resent others for not meeting thier expectations, and angry with themselves for their failures and imperfections.

Connecting Virtue: Serenity — The most effective ONEs are at peace with themselves by accepting the bad and the good as being part of life.

Stressed ONEs Seek: Perfection — Unhappy or Stressed ONEs try to make the world perfect by imposing their standards on everyone around them.

Happiest ONEs Give: Idealism — Happy ONEs possess an idealism for making the world a better place.

Unhappy/Stressed Qualities: Rigid, inflexible, worriers, intolerance, perfectionism, critical, opinionated, picky, demanding and self-righteous.

Happiness Qualities: Wise, dependable, fair, detailoriented, conscientious, honest, ethical, prudent, hardworking, composed, purposeful, and idealistic.

Missing Connection: Joyfulness — ONEs have difficulty connecting with the feeling of joy believing it is only found when their life is perfect.

Happiest Self: Happy ONEs have the ability to rally people to make a difference in the world with their idealism about what is possible.

False Self-Image: ONEs see themselves as the reasonable person who knows the right way to do things.

Highest Self: The happiest ONEs accept that there are many right ways to do something.

CONNECTING TO ONES

INTIMACY WITH ONES

Demonstrate fairness and integrity when dealing with ONEs. They’re very ethical people.

Find ways to help them slow down. ONEs are usually very hard on themselves.

Acknowledge and appreciate the extra effort they put into the things they do.

Encourage them to relax and have more fun, and to plan and organize a little less.

If you are wrong, admit it and apologize. ONEs can be very forgiving if they don’t feel you are blaming them for the mistakes of others.

Avoid sounding critical. Use words like “we missed the mark” or “not quite what I expected.” Encourage with a statement like “we’ve learned how to do this a little better.”

Be clear about your expectations. ONEs like knowing exactly what you want them to do.

Understand the source of their criticism is the mistaken belief that they are deficient.

When they make a mistake, reassure them of your continued respect.

Let them know they will still be loved if they let go of some responsibility.

EMOTIONAL STYLE OF ONES Coping Style: Stressed or unhappy ONEs control their fear in social connections by controlling the standards and compelling others to follow their rules. Happy and healthy ONEs don’t always have to be right. Disappointment Style: ONEs try to out-perfom disappointment by holding themselves to very high standards and working hard to avoid ever making a mistake or disappointing anyone. The happiest and most effective ONEs are still very hardworking, but more relaxed about trying new things, even if they make mistakes. Bonding Style: ONEs who are stressed or unhappy bond by trying to earn the love or good opinion of others. They get very upset if they think they haven’t met your standard. The happiest ONEs are people of integrity who are accepting of shortcomings in themselves and others.

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