U Magazine - June 2010

Page 1


2 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE


Magazine Table of Contents Contributors ........................................................... Editor’s Column .................................................... A Day in the Life ................................................... Picks for the Body & Soul .....................................

4 5 6 9

Section 1: Enlightened

Belief in the Power of Art .................................... 11 What We’re Reading ............................................. 14 Confidence Breeds Success ................................. 16 Get Your Joy On ................................................... 17

Section 2: Relationships

Adventures in Mid-Life Dating ........................... 19 Modern Paternal Management ......................... 22

Section 3: Well-being

Sweet Results ....................................................... Healthful Dessert Recipes ................................. Treat Your Feet .................................................... The Truth Is In the Numbers ............................

24 26 28 29

Section 4: Image

High Desert Life Styles ........................................ 32 Develop Your Style .............................................. 34

Section 5: Achieve

Buyer, Meet Seller ............................................... At the Workplace ................................................. Calendar for U ..................................................... Owners & Professionals .....................................

35 27 38 39

U Magazine

is a product of The Bulletin’s Special Projects Division, P.O. Box 6020, Bend, OR 97708. All content is the property of The Bulletin/Western Communications Inc., and may not be reproduced without written permission. Story ideas may be submitted to editor Ben Montgomery for consideration. Contact him at 541-383-0379 or bmontgomery@ bendbulletin.com.

Staff members for The Bulletin’s special projects division include: Martha Tiller, Special Projects Manager; Ben Montgomery, Special Projects Editor; Nicole Werner, Special Projects Assistant; Clint Nye, Graphic Designer; Stacie Oberson, Special Projects Coordinator; Lyle Cox, Photographer. Published: Saturday, June 5, 2010. Cover photo by Lyle Cox; Model: Lara Wettig; Clothing courtesy of CC McKenzie Shoes & Apparel; Makeup by Marie Anderson, Azurá Studio U MAGAZINE | Early Summer 2010 | 3


U Magazine CON TR IBU TORS

ANNISSA ANDERSON, a freelance writer and public relations consultant, also studied culinary arts and worked as a pastry chef in another life. Though she’s lived in the Northwest for the past 20 years, she spent her childhood living abroad.

LORI GLEICHMAN considers herself intensely curious about almost anything, which is what makes freelance writing such a joyful experience. When not writing, she works as a marketing/PR consultant, loves to read travel memoirs while dreaming of her own next adventure. She lives in Bend with her husband Dick, her dog Indy and cat Pic.

SONDRA HOLTZMAN is a record keeper of an evolving life. A professional artist and founder of The Traveling Studio, her journals and sketchbooks reflect explorations afar and close to home. Sondra is a published author, storyteller and travel writer and loves kayaking with her miniature longhaired dachshund, Scout.

GAIL ELIZABETH KRETCHMER is a local freelance and fiction writer whose work has been published in the High Desert Journal and various other publications. She teaches therapeutic and creative writing workshops in the schools and throughout the community. Gail holds a Master of Fine Arts in Writing degree and is a member of The Association of Writers and Writing Programs and the National Association of Poetry Therapy.

FURNITURE OUTLET “WE MAKE IT EASY!” Huge Selection! Immediate Delivery!

Great Prices EVERYDAY! ®

D S CAR VICE L SER FINANCIA

541-385-0373 • 1735 NE Hwy 20, Bend 541-447-8900 • 1515 NE 3rd, Prineville 61220 S. Hwy. 97, Bend www.furnitureoutletbend.com Sofa photos are for illustration only. Some models may not be in stock or available. Come see our huge selection at any of our locations. 4 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

SUSAN THOMAS SPRINGER began her journalism career as a TV news reporter. She worked in corporate marketing, managing communications for a bank and launching high-tech products. Today, she’s a freelance writer living in Sisters where she and her husband enjoy raising their twins.

BUNNY THOMPSON is an internationally published writer living in Sisters. She cruised on a sailboat for six years and 40,000 miles where she wrote a novel and published travel and adventure articles in national and international magazines such as Sail, Cruising World, Southern Boating and Island Scene.


Joy in lieu of the future Experience the present rather than focusing on future deadlines. The word “deadline” lacks both subtlety and apology. In its purest form, a deadline is a closing of the gate, a select moment in time when a compilation of facts and ideas must meld under certain predetermined guidelines ... or else. It’s pressure masquerading as a nondiscriminatory date and time, oftentimes seeming cold and apathetic. A deadline is stress, yet we all deal with them. Deadlines are everywhere. Deadlines keep projects moving forward at the workplace and help to ensure everyone involved understands what’s expected of them. At home, deadlines— getting your taxes done, registering the kids for school, buying an anniversary gift—are often markers that ensure our lives (and those of our families) maintain a semblance of order and structure. An unfortunate consequence of looming

deadlines is they often force our minds to bypass the present in favor of the future. When our minds live too much in the future, it’s all too easy to overlook the comfort and joys that exist in the here and now. This runs afoul to the first suggestion in “Get Your Joy On: Seven Ways to Enhance Joy,” an article featured within this edition of U Magazine. (See pages 17-18.) According to the article by local writer Susan Thomas Springer, the suggestion to “stop and smell the roses” is a good one. Mindful living, she and others suggest, is a key to achieving peace and happiness ... to recognizing the joys that, while making up significant portions of our everyday lives, can hide in plain sight as our minds wander elsewhere. Living in the present and recognizing joy, it seems, is a common theme of this U

Magazine. Susan, for instance, discusses a book by Buddhist leader Thich Nhat Hanh that suggests taking the time to observe and experience the intricate details and delights of an everyday object, such as an apple. Marlene Alexander, a Bend art teacher and general life enthusiast, might suggest painting a detailed picture of the apple. (See “A Belief in the Power of Art” on pages 11-13.) Marlene believes the process of creating is in itself a process of physical and soulful healing. Art, she says, “... creates an environment where people can relax and even find joy.” I’m certain that even Marlene experiences the pressures of deadlines from time to time, just not in her studio while she creates or introduces a child to the joy of artistic expression. — by Ben Montgomery, U Magazine Editor

U MAGAZINE | Early Summer 2010 | 5


A day in the life ...

by Lori Gleichman, for The Bulletin

Teacher, coach and mentor A day in the life of Jeanne Hatchett is filled with inclusion and emotion. Photos by Nicole Werner

Jeanne Hatchett’s day starts at 6:30 a.m. in her quiet kitchen with a cup of coffee. It’s the one, short half-hour she has all to herself, when she can relish solitude and quiet in a day that will soon be filled with children: her own daughters, Amy (5) and Katie (18), and the many more preschoolers she teaches at the Alyce Hatch Center. Jeanne is a 47-year-old mother of a pre-kindergartener and a teenager who counsels now that you’re never too old to risk unprotected sex with your husband. Despite the enormous love that is evident when she talks about Amy, she’s also tired much of the time from keeping up with dozens of young children every day, including her “surprise” baby at home. It’s 8 a.m., and Jeanne’s at work where she starts dealing with a combination of paperwork and people, with equal emphasis on both. As an early childhood special education teacher for the High Desert Education Services District, she is responsible for more than 32 children in the current term. The children range in ages from 3 to 5, and they range in disabilities from relatively mild cognitive disorders to severe physical and emotional challenges. Every day, several times a day, she

interfaces with parents and children, social workers and therapists, school district administrators and co-workers, about complex and complicated issues related to the wellbeing, happiness and education of children who have been diagnosed with developmental delays in at least two areas. As defined, delays fall into buckets like emotional development, communication and social skills. In reality, they are children who have

been born with a genetic code that makes them a little different or who have suffered abuse that has made them difficult. And each child’s specific challenges and needs have to be evaluated, planned for, tracked and their progress routinely reviewed, thus the paperwork that fills early mornings and late afternoons at her desk. But in Jeanne’s classroom, those details quickly drift away in the controlled chaos that she skillfully

The moment you realize that life can, and does, change in an instant is a profound moment in the journey of life. Call it curious or call it bored, but one day I started wondering what it would be like to be a ... fill in the blank. So, I decided to do it—in a limited way—and the editors of U Magazine decided to let me write about it and share what I learned in a new column called “A Day In the Life.”

6 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

Four times a year, I’ll write my usual “Welcome to the Rest of Your Life” column, but at least twice a year I’ll explore what it’s like to be someone else doing something I find interesting and share “their day.” — Lori Gleichman


directs in sessions of two and a half hours twice a day. The quiet is suddenly gone as the children stream through the door. They head straight for “Miss Jeanne,” eager for the hello and hug she gives each one. Ready for kids with disabilities, I see preschoolers acting like preschoolers, talking with each other, hanging up coats and telling other adults in the room about their bus rides. One child is in a wheelchair; the remaining eight boys and one girl “look normal” at first glance. “They may look like typical little kids,” Jeanne had explained, “but all have something they’re dealing with.” Over the course of the afternoon, I see what she means. These children, just 3, 4 and 5 years

could swing on the playground, work at the art table and sit on the floor with others during story time. Jeanne is the one who sets the timer to make sure everyone gets a chance to play with a favorite toy, and she’s the one who quickly reacts with a hug when one child’s feelings are hurt and directs another to a short timeout to prevent a pending meltdown as the afternoon winds down. She describes her role as being the “coach in charge of the game plan,” but she’s also the quarterback, calling the plays, setting up the pass and taking the hit as a child struggles with his or her emotions and personal limitations. As the children begin the reverse trek to the coat rack and the bus, I realize I’m exhausted.

I see that Jeanne’s role as teacher is more about encouraging emotional control—reminding kids to ‘make good choices’—and modeling inclusion and patience than about reciting numbers and letters. old, seem sad, isolated, angry or, conversely, too happy, a condition known as Williams Syndrome. They speak loudly, in Spanish, haltingly, with their hands or not at all. As I watch, I realize these children are incredibly intense and easily distracted as they participate in the day’s activities of singing, learning shapes, story time, playground time and yoga. I see that Jeanne’s role as teacher is more about encouraging emotional control—reminding the kids to “make good choices”—and modeling inclusion and patience than about reciting numbers and letters. Even though she had support from a speech therapist, two assistants and me during the class, Jeanne is the one who helped a boy in and out of his wheelchair at least six times so he

Interacting with these children is physically demanding as you are as actively involved in the play and the process as they are. It’s emotionally wrenching, not because of who they are but because of what they deal with as they try to find their separate ways in the world. But I also have a smile on my face as I get hugs too. It’s 3:30 p.m. when I say goodbye to Jeanne. She has a parent conference starting and will then head out to pick up Amy. Her hope is that she and her daughter can have a quiet snuggle (i.e., a nap) when they get home, but Jeanne knows her “beautiful, energetic, intense” daughter will want her mommy’s attention. “And that’s okay,” she said. “More quiet time will eventually come.” U MAGAZINE | Early Summer 2010 | 7


8 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE


BODY & SOUL: All About U

Summer’s small details less than $50 Hand-made Floral Pins A sweet addition, both day or night, to any sun dress, hat, purse or shoes. Adds a touch of color, sparkle and softness, making your favorite items even more special. Bella Moda, 541-550-7001, $7.50 (small); $9 (large)

Flip Chatham by Clarks

Tara Hat by San Francisco Hat Company A completely practical, packable, crushable hat made of ribbon. The wide brim provides ample sun protection, and a thin plastic wire in the brim edge allows the hat to recover from packing and enhances styling. A Coolmax® interior band allows for a comfortable fit. Provides extra protection from the sun with its UVP rating of 50-plus. Bella Moda, 541-550-7001, $45

These classically-styled thong sandals provide arch support with comfort for the entire foot. Constructed with a leather and synthetic upper, contrasting stitching adds detail to the strap. The flexible outsole is constructed with rubber to absorb shock during wear. Acadia Footwear, 541-312-0131, $40

One-Day Sublime Bronze by L’oréal Paris For those days when a little color is needed without unexpected streaks, Sublime Bronze goes on quickly and dries fast for instant gratification. The gel formula washes away with soap and water. Available at drugstores, $8.99

U MAGAZINE | Early Summer 2010 | 9


al Serving Centr er Oregon for Ov 40 Years!

We Sell Sebo Miele Simplicity Lindhaus Pfaff Royal Husqvarna Viking Baby Lock We Service Oreck Dyson Hoover Eureka Dirt Devil Bissell Sanyo Panasonic Sharp Kirby And many more ...

F E AT U R I N G

! Offering Only the Finest Quality Vacuums & Sewing Machines

! Servicing ALL Vacuum Cleaner Makes & Models

! The Largest Selection of Threads in !

Central Oregon Software, Accessories & Notions

! State-of-the-Art Classroom & Lots of Classes

Embroidery | General Sewing | Machine Instruction Quilting | Serger Instruction | Software

MORROW ’S SEWING & VACUUM CENTER | 304 NE 3 R D S T R E E T | B E N D | 541.382.3882 www.morrowsewingandvacuum.com 10 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE


Belief in the

Power Art A

of

by Lori Gleichman, for The Bulletin Special Projects

Marlene Alexander has shared the joy and power of art in her Bend garage studio for years, and she prominently displays photos of many of her students throughout that time. Photos by Lyle Cox

“I’ve always done a lot of things ... and I want to do everything I can do now.” This is the mantra of Marlene Alexander. Vibrating with energy, Alexander’s look is intense while the magenta streak in her hair subtly declares a sense of rebellious fun. As she talks about her interests, three themes emerge. She is passionately interested in people, she’s passionate about art, and she’s passionate about bringing the potential of art for healing and growth to people who can benefit from the experience, whether it’s young children or someone suffering a devastating disease. She was very young when she knew “art was my thing.” But after graduating with a degree in painting and print making from the Kansas City Art Institute, Alexander wanted to travel. She became a stewardess (yes, “stewardess,” not flight attendant) for United Airlines and traveled widely, using her flying career as a way to access great art and museums. But that came to an end in 1970. “Back then, you couldn’t fly if you were married,” she said with a grimace, obviously unappreciative of the norms of the times. She and her new husband, Eric Alexander, ended up in Central Oregon, him working at The Bulletin and she raising a young family. But art was still calling, so Alexander turned their garage into a studio and soon began holding classes for kids. Decades later, the garage is bigger to accommodate larger classes, and the walls are U MAGAZINE | Enlightened | 11


filled with photos of past students, many of which have children in one of her classes today. Her philosophy is posted prominently on the wall: “Art is a child’s way of expressing their individuality and communicating ideas about themselves to the world. More than learning mere technique,

art to children can be a creative window to the soul.” While classes explore a variety of media as well as art history, Alexander believes she 12 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

also teaches confidence and self-esteem. “There’s a lot of freedom in here,” she said, gesturing to the baskets underway, painting projects stacked against the wall, and mixed media collages on a shelf. “I think the kids perform to their highest levels in here. And I make sure they know I believe in them.” Alexander’s belief that art is healing is why she got involved with St. Charles Medical Centers, first as a volunteer and then as a paid staff member coordinating arts programs like the Art Cart and displays. She takes great pride that the two campuses in Bend and Redmond feature extensive collections of art by Northwest artists, much of which she


Artwork by Marlene Alexander

“You can watch a monitor and see the heart rate slow and blood pressure drop; you can see oxygen levels go up as people unconsciously breath deeper, engrossed with painting or the chance to mold clay.” personally selected. “My goal was to create environments where people were less inclined to be frightened and scared,” said Alexander. “Colors take away fear ... it creates an environment where people can relax and even find some joy.” “Art engages the creative side of the brain, especially when the left side is so preoccupied with processing the details

involved in an illness,” she continued. “You can watch a monitor and see the heart rate slow and blood pressure drop; you can see oxygen levels go up as people unconsciously breath deeper, engrossed with painting or the chance to mold clay.” And she knows firsthand what got her through her own bout with breast cancer a few years ago. “Painting and shooting

pool,” she said. “Both require a tremendous amount of concentration, and that frees you from the illness. It takes you away from the fear.” Alexander just returned from a conference sponsored by the Society for the Arts in Healthcare, an international group dedicated to promoting research and sharing best practices. No longer affiliated with St. Charles, she is still

determined to promote the healing power of art and has been talking with a veterans group that’s interested in starting an expressive arts program. She is also looking at putting together something for people with disabilities. “I don’t care who it is, if I can bring art and music into a life, then I feel like I’ve accomplished something,” she said.

U MAGAZINE | Enlightened | 13


What We’re Reading Learn what some longtime Central Oregon book clubs are reading and how they feel about their selections.

and the ultimate compromises we all must make in our lives beyond youth in two couples who remain friends for many years. “Stegner crafted a wonderful story of relationships,” said one Chapter Chic member, “but even more enjoyable was the beauty of his writing.” Many of the members added this book to their favorites list and plan to read more of Stegner’s other works.

Currently, many of our local book groups have read or are reading “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett as part of the Deschutes Public Library Novel Idea… Read Together 2010. If you haven’t read this excellent novel, by all means do it. This page-turner tells of social awakening and racial divides that are largely shrouded from public scrutiny by the acceptance of this long-held way of life in Jackson, Mississippi in the early 1960s. Here’s what else area book clubs are reading:

“Hannah’s Dream by Diane Hammond Camalli’s Dollies

“My Abandonment” by Peter Rock Sunriver Women’s Group

“Crossing to Safety” by Wallace Stegner The Chapter Chics Described as “eloquent, wise and immensely moving narrative” by Publishers Weekly, this novel by Pulitzer Prize winner Wallace Stegner shows the contrasts between the idealism of youth

14 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

by Bunny Thompson, for The Bulletin

Choosing a Pacific Northwest subject, this group read a fascinating novel that was based on the true story about the lives of a father and his 12-year-old daughter living undetected in Forest Park in Portland for 4 years before being discovered. One small mistake allows a backcountry jogger to discover them and derails their entire existence. The author, Peter Rock, is an Associate Professor of Creating Writing at Portland’s Reed College. He chose to tell this story through the voice of the young daughter whose life is shaped by her father and his existential beliefs. The father quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson to explain life to his daughter: “The way of life is wonderful. It is by abandonment”.

Even closer to home, Bend author Diane Hammond wrote a well-crafted and heartfelt story of a 41-year-old love affair between an elephant named Hannah and her longtime keeper, Sam. “It is a charming, poignant novel and beautifully told tale that is rich in heart, humor and intelligence,” said one member. Fortunately, Camalli’s Dollies were able to attend a reading by Hammond for her latest book, “Seeing Stars,” where she signed books for the club.


“Breakfast with Buddha” by Roland Merullo Fair and Tender Ladies What would you do if your sister decides she wants to donate her half of the family farm in North Dakota to a guru who will set up a retreat, then asks you to drive cross-country with the guru to the farm? That’s where unsuspecting Otto Ringling found himself—literally and spiritually—on a road trip of slow discovery. This book group found Merullo’s novel to be charming and an easy and delightful read.

MY FAVORITE BOOK:

Kathryn Stockett, Best-selling Author Kathryn Stockett, author of “The Help,” is a busy woman these days jetting across the world to speak to large audiences about her bestselling first novel. Central Oregon had the pleasure to welcome her to sold-out crowds for the Deschutes County program Novel Ideal…Read Together 2010. So, what does a celebrated novelist read on those long flights? “Anything and everything from Kaye Gibbons” Stockett says. Two of Gibbons novels were selected by Oprah’s Book Club in 1997: “Ellen Foster” and “A Virtuous Woman.” Stockett also recommends “A Soft Place to Land” by Susan Rebecca White to “all of my friends and to book clubs everywhere.” Stockett declares her most favorite book is “Charming Billy” by Alice McDermott.

“The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger Bibliobabes

With the recent death of American literary icon and recluse, J.D. Salinger, this book group decided to read his 1951 classic “Catcher in the Rye.” The story is told through the eyes of a 16-year-old boy expelled from prep school. The words are edgy, particularly for an early ’50s timeframe, causing this book to be one of the most banned books in this country and to become synonymous with the ubiquitous “cynical adolescent.” This book group found that “[Holden] Caulfield’s (the main character) anger and frustration with adult hypocrisies and the absence of authenticity resonated with all of us”. Books provided by Paulina Springs Books of Sisters and Redmond

U MAGAZINE | Enlightened | 15


RAISING THE BAR

ConfiSummer dence Breeds Success is a Child’s Opportunity to Learn For most children, summer is a time to leave classes and homework behind. However, when returning to school in the fall after the long summer break, students can find themselves struggling to catch up. “Skills and knowledge gained throughout the school year fade during the summer months,” said Sheila Reed of Sylvan Learning Center in Bend. “Loss of content retention begins within 24 to 48 hours of learning unless the new information is reinforced or applied immediately.” In addition, after a month without reinforcement, approximately 80 percent of what a student has recently learned can be lost. While a break from school is great for recharging your children’s batteries, Reed said that if they aren’t using the skills and knowledge they learned

older kids, reading together can be fun and interesting. While reading together, ask your children questions about plot and characters. • Plan a Field Trip. Plan a trip to an interesting site close to home—a historic site, a museum, the zoo, etc. Research the trip in advance with your child and discuss it afterwards.

in the classroom, they could find themselves lagging behind when school starts up again. She offers the following tips for integrating continuous learning into fun, family activities throughout the summer: • Read to Your Child. You can’t start too early; you can’t read too much. Reading to young children nurtures an interest in language, words and communication. For

• Find Pen Pals. Encourage your child to write notes and letters to family members and friends as a way to practice writing. • Plan a Meal Together. Helping mom or dad with the regular grocery shopping and meal preparation creates opportunities to use math skills such as making change, weighing fruits and vegetables, etc. • Visit the Library. Libraries can recommend books appropriate for your child’s reading level and interests. Also, many libraries

CALL NOW!

Sylvan Skills Assessment Test NOW $95 Special Financing Available

CALL SYLVAN TODAY.

541-389-9252

Bend • 2150 NE Studio Road 16 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

offer free children’s programs. • Keep a Journal. Give your child an empty notebook to keep a summer journal. Regular entries will keep writing skills active. • Summer Enrichment Programs. Programs and summer camps, like those offered at Sylvan Learning Center, offer engaging programs that keep the interest and fun in learning alive through the summer and into the school year.


Get Your

Joy on! by Susan Thomas Springer, for The Bulletin Special Projects

The kids are quarreling, the boss was mean, you lost your keys, the fridge broke and the dog is sick. Where’s the joy in that? If this sounds too much like your average day, you need to up your joy quotient. Experts on happiness say it is possible to increase joy through mindful living. Find time for the exercise called your Value Life Pie, or get a jump start on a joyous day with a few quick tips. Licensed Professional Counselor Vickie MacRitchie, based in Bend, has made it her life’s work to help others live “with heart and meaning.” In her research on what creates

happiness, she has found a common thread: living mindfully and intentionally is crucial to happiness. Simply put, when people are fully living their values, they are happier. In her Enhance Your Life seminars, MacRitchie leads participants using an awareness tool she calls a Value Life Pie. Begin by drawing a circle and dividing it into five pie pieces. Then identify your top five values to fill in the pie pieces. MacRitchie finds incredible power in thinking consciously of what you’re truly passionate about. “People just run from one thing to another, especially

Americans,” said MacRitchie. “Stop and sit down and identify what is important. It’s elementary and profound at the same time.” Next, participants rate which values they are living fully versus the ones they are not giving attention to. Often people discover an imbalance between what is important and where their time is spent. Next, MacRitchie asks how participants can better nurture what matters and get there by listing action steps. “Decide for yourself that you’re going to take a baby step each day or once a week toward fully living your values,” said

MacRitchie. MacRitchie adds the journey includes removing “shoulds,” not playing the blame game, and stopping any negative inner voice. “It’s about your attitude; your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your results,” said MacRitchie. MacRitchie says an added benefit to moving consciously towards a more joyful life is that you teach others around you by modeling happier, healthier behavior. In this spirit, turn the page for seven ways to enhance joy in your life. U MAGAZINE | Enlightened | 17


Seven Ways to Enhance Joy! 1 Be Here Now

The past is gone, the future is not here yet—what you have is now. The newest “stop to smell the roses” book is “Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Living” by Buddhist leader Thich Nhat Hanh. It goes beyond diet; it promises more peace and happiness through mindful living. In one exercise, Hanh talks about recognizing the delights an apple holds. He suggests giving your full attention to the apple to discover its sweetness, aroma, and juiciness.

2 Volunteer

When we’re feeling blue, it often helps to help others. Social science research supports that volunteers feel more personal satisfaction with their lives.

3 Surround Yourself with Positive People

Don’t let the negative outlooks of others drain you. Choose to spend time with people who are encouraging and uplifting. One author surrounded himself with positive

people and produced a best seller. “Think and Grow Rich” is a classic by Napoleon Hill based on his study of achievers which goes beyond acquiring wealth to inspire readers to improve their lives and think positively.

4 Get Moving

Take advantage of the body’s natural release of endorphins - they actually resemble opiates in their ability to produce a feeling of well-being. Exercise is a known mood enhancer whether you take a short walk or get a “runner’s high” from more vigorous activity.

5 Let’s Play!

Children live in the moment, have natural cheer and enthusiasm and laugh at silly stuff. Find your inner child by finding a real one and have fun playing ball, drawing, dancing. See what makes them smile.

6 Keep a Gratitude Journal

MacRitchie says research supports feeling happier if you make it a habit to write down five things you’re grateful for before going to

bed. Shift your thinking towards the positive by calling attention to the things you’re thankful for.

7 Write Morning Rites

Author Julia Cameron recommends clearing your mind and being present for each new day by writing three longhand, stream-of-consciousness pages. Ignore the critic, or censor, and simply rattle along perhaps unblocking creative areas long ignored. Learn more in The Artist’s Way.

Compassionate Care

Serving Central Oregon

24 Hours Everyday

To Manage The Most Difficult Steps In Life’s Journey.

Hospice Providing care for loved ones and their families in their time of need.

Home Health Visiting where you live to provide medical care as prescribed by your doctor.

Hospice House Experts in Chronic and Terminal Care A local, non-profit, mission driven organization for over 30 years

Call or visit our website at:

541.382.5882 18 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

www.partnersbend.org

Hospice house is a 24-hour inpatient care unit for hospice patients requiring specialized medical care.

Transitions A free, volunteer-based program for patients and families facing chronic or serious illness. Providing companionship, community referrals, and assisting in decision making.


Adventures in Mid-Life

Dating

The dating jungle can offer pitfalls and traps, even when the luxury of age is on your side. by Gail Elizabeth Kretchmer, for The Bulletin Special Projects It’s a jungle out there. A dating jungle, that is. Going back into the dating field after the end of a marriage or long term relationship is a little like going on an Indiana Jones adventure through lush, verdant foliage in search of a bejeweled treasure—while trying to avoid an abundance of traps and pitfalls along the way. You have to be intentional in your actions. You need a lot of energy. And you absolutely must have the courage and strength to take risks. Mid-life dating is not for the weak. Regardless of the reason for becoming single again, both men and women face several factors when they get back into dating, according to Tim Higdon, a local marriage and family counselor who works with adults entering the dating field for the second (third, or fourth…) time around.

Humans are not meant to be alone

“We all want to be connected to others,” Higdon said. The human brain is wired to love and be loved, but different people have different ideas about dating. Some people are looking for slow-growing relationships; others are on a fast track; still others aren’t actively looking for relationships whatsoever but may stumble upon them. The question of “what is dating” was posed to several midlife daters and the answers ranged from spending time over a glass of wine to intimate nights together. Debbie, a 45-year-old cosmetics consultant, said that dating is more than just going out repeatedly with someone. “It involves learning about each other’s emotions and knowledge base. It’s about relating to one another.” According to Higdon, we’re all subconsciously looking for people to connect with, but it’s important to know whether or not you’re ready to date again.

You’ve got to do the work first

Some clients tell Higdon they want to date again but there’s nobody out there. “That can mean they’re not ready,” he said. Before you’re ready to start dating, you need to do some internal work to resolve past losses and say good bye to past relationships. You also need to identify lessons from the past. U MAGAZINE | Relationships | 19


“Relationships aren’t about perfection. There’s a lot of research about people who have a loving relationship that lasts a lifetime, who still argue.” “What did I do to sabotage the relationship with someone who was once the love of my life?” Higdon tells his clients to ask themselves this because people often blame the other person in a failed relationship and don’t look at their own part. “The most common relationship dance that leads to trouble,” he said, “is the protester/demander and the distancer/withdrawer.” This sort of problem is bound to come up again in future relationships

unless a person understands his/her role in a relationship and learns to be open to new possibilities. Debbie began to date a year after her divorce, but discovered even then that it was too soon. The rebound relationship, she said, “was a gift from God, showing what a good relationship should feel like. But I hadn’t done work on myself to be ready.”

Beware the red flag

As Debbie said, new relationships can feel awfully good. Higdon calls the beginning phase the romantic phase, when endorphins are released and libido is heightened. In this phase, we tend to be patient,

20 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

flexible, and forgiving. But eventually red flags pop up. It might be that the person you’re dating has kids and you don’t want kids. It might be that they cheated on their spouse. It might be that they lied about their age in their online dating profile, or submitted a picture from years ago when they were thirty pounds lighter and still had hair. But red flags come in all shapes and sizes and are sometimes more subtle.

For Bill Beckley, a 59-year-old pharmacist, the red flag is when “the light bulb burns too bright,” meaning the other person comes on too strong and moves too fast. For Debbie, it’s when her internal thoughts start to misfire, like the time she couldn’t stop thinking about jokes involving the career of the man she was dating. For Jenna Summers, a 52-year-old entrepreneur, it’s when men don’t seem to have what she calls sticktoitiveness. “You have to know what you want and what your boundaries are,” she said. Higdonagreed,recommending that singles should know what they can’t live with or without— what that deal breaker might be. “You’ve really got to be honest

with yourself,” he said, adding that it’s easier to address those issues in the romantic phase. “If you can’t work it out now, you may wind up feeling lonely in the commitment phase of the relationship in the future.” The good news about red flags, though, is that, as an older and more experienced person on the dating scene, you’re better able to acknowledge and address them.

Compatibility isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

Red flags aren’t necessarily deal breakers, though. It’s commonly believed that a couple must be compatible for a successful relationship, and the online dating services underscore the importance of compatibility. While Higdon believes a measure of compatibility is important, it isn’t everything. Once a couple moves into the commitment phase of the relationship, differences are bound to show up because “we don’t marry ourselves.” One couple he worked with fell madly in love and seemed to be perfectly matched; they even both enjoyed golf. But after a year together, their relationship was on the rocks. Why? Because they couldn’t agree on how to play the game of golf. “The question is whether these differences are blips on the screen or devastating,” he said. There’s no such thing as finding a mate without baggage, and power struggles are inevitable when differences surface. The trick is to watch out for your own sense of desperation and to figure out whether your partner will work with you to manage the differences, to come up with a solution you can both live with. If not, you’re might be with the wrong person.

The secrets to lasting love

“Relationships aren’t about perfection,” Higdon said. “There’s a lot of research about people who have a loving relationship that lasts a lifetime, who still argue.” The reason they survive is that they know how to communicate, make up, repair, and move toward each other again. There is the story of the single man and the single woman who found each other online. They sounded great to one another, totally compatible, same interests. Finally they exchanged pictures and were flabbergasted to find that it was the ex-spouse with whom they’d each fallen in love once again. Was it just another dating dud? Or was this evidence that they’d had that precious treasure in their lives all along, and simply hadn’t recognized it for what it was? “There’s an art to dating,” Debbie said, and others on the dating scene agree. With maturity comes awareness and an ability to look at the big picture. It’s no longer simply how the other person makes you feel but what issues they have, as well as what contributions they can make to your life. Victoria Hollen, a 52-year-old outdoors enthusiast, said, “I’m happy, and I don’t want to lose my joy being in the wrong relationship.” Indiana Jones took a number of wrong turns in his quests— some life-threatening—but eventually he found what he was looking for. Dating can take the same care, instinct, diligence and patience. And while the fictitious character was the expert regarding archaeological treasures, he could probably have used a little more dating advice.


“Advice from the Dating Field” LOCALS SHARE THEIR THOUGHTS ABOUT DATING IN CENTRAL OREGON AND WHERE TO MEET SINGLE PEOPLE.

Debbie:

Jenna:

Christi:

Bill:

If you’re outgoing and active in hiking, biking, running, snowshoeing, wine tasting, or other social groups, it’s not hard to meet similarly interested people. Bend is vibrant with smart, healthy and educated men and women. Resort restaurants and bars tend to be filled with visitors in town for yearly events, and it can simply be a matter of honing in on what you enjoy and spending time around people who also make those activities a priority. But having friends and/or their spouses introduce you to fun, single people can still be the best way to meet someone.

I think it is extremely difficult to date in Central Oregon, and I believe larger cities offer more meeting opportunities. I am not a bar hopper, nor would I want to meet a potential mate in a bar. I haven’t met anyone at my gym or at Art Walks or being out walking the trail or cross country skiing. I have friends who know single men but don’t want to set up a meeting in case it fails and they don’t want to be “responsible.”

I have a friend that met a man at a salsa dance class, and another met a man at 900 Wall.

I think the dating pool for our age group is definitely smaller ... probably not unique to Central Oregon. There is also a small town element where “everybody knows everybody,” and the subsequent gossip and rumor mills can be discouraging and frustrating at times. The best places for our age group would probably be 900 Wall, Staccato’s, 10 Below, Pine Tavern, Zydeco, Decoy and Anthony’s. For those who like to dance: The Crossings Lounge or Northside Bar and Grill. For games: Fox’s Billiard Lounge. For karaoke: Bo Restobar.

TELL US YOUR DATING HORROR STORIES: If while on the dating scene you haven’t yet achieved compatibility, at the very least you’ve certainly compiled some priceless dating stories. We would like to hear them. To share your funniest dating horror stories with us for possible publication within U Magazine, please e-mail them to bmontgomery@bendbulletin.com, or mail them to U Magazine Editor, The Bulletin, P.O. Box 6020, Bend, OR 97708. Published stories are subject to compensation.

jazzercise.com (800)FIT-IS-IT

Summer Special

June through September

$

99

$200

Credit*

Towards Senior In Home Care 4 Week Minimum Commitment*

Right at Home Caregivers can help you with: • Light housekeeping, laundry • Errands, meal preparation • • One-on-one personal care • Medication reminders • We are proud to offer discounts to our nation’s Veterans.

Bend Class info. 541-280-5653

Redmond Class Info. 541-923-6265

Offer good for new customers.

Premiere in-home care without the premium price. 541-633-7436 www.rightathomeco.com

U MAGAZINE | Relationships | 21


modern paternal

Management Manage multiple day-to-day family needs without overbooking, overwhelming and over stressing. by Sondra Holtzman, for The Bulletin Special Projects It’s no secret that the business of raising kids is a full-time job—and one of the most important on the planet. Along with the joys of having children come challenges with regard to their care: time management, motivation, avoiding burnout, staying on the same page and, yes, staying sane. “Managing multiple day-to-day family needs is often overwhelming,” says Vicki Ertle, executive director for the Central Oregon Family Resource Center, a regional hub for parenting education and resources. “I’m often asked how to keep your family busy and active without overbooking, overwhelming and over stressing.” Ertle said it begins with prioritizing, planning ahead and asking for help. “In the process, we as parents are teaching our children valuable life skills and sending the message that their contributions are important to the entire family and we’re all in this together,” she said. Ertle offers the following tips to help parents meet the challenges of managing their kids in a productive and loving way:

22 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

Prioritize.

You don’t have to do it all. Focus on all the activities you and your family are doing. Involve everyone in making the list, ask if they are all important, and then figure out ways together to reduce the stress. It might be ride sharing, deferring one activity to another season, or finding out that everyone wants one to two days free each day after school. Ask, problem solve, execute. You’re teaching decisionmaking skills and sending the message that everyone’s voice is important.

Ask for and expect help from everyone in the family.

Kids who contribute to essential family functions and know they are appreciated

tend to have higher self-esteem. Divide up the mundane tasks of daily living: cleaning, cooking and laundry. Have a family meeting to determine when and what everyone can do. Make sure they know the skills involved so the dishwasher doesn’t jam or your favorite sweater doesn’t end up on the Jack Russell terrier. Develop and utilize a wide circle of support. Barter and trade your time.

Make family time sacred.

The Pew Internet and American Life Project reports that 47 percent of parents spend time on social networking sites as opposed to 46 percent of their kids. Resist the urge to text your child to come to the dinner table. If you’re in the car a lot, turn off all the noise and try talking to each other. It’s a great way to catch up and let kids be kids. You might be surprised at what you learn.

Ali and Andy Muilenburg (left and above) share some play time with their two sons, Brady (3) and Drew (16 months) at their area home. Photos by Nicole Werner.


A Second

Perspective ... Ron and Laura Fritz are the parents of three children, ages 15, 12 and 8. Laura is the housing programs manager at NeighborImpact and an avid runner, and Ron is CEO of Tech Soft 3D. As parents of three kids who are heavily involved in sports, Ron offers the following advice: • Release kids to their activity. You don’t need to make it to every single practice. Use that time for yourself or for running the household. • Don’t be a hero. Carpool, carpool, carpool. • Calendars mean communication. As a family, try to talk about today and the next few days to avoid surprises. • Kids need to be part of the solution, too. Depending on their age, they can do a fair amount of the work that goes into running a household. • Sometimes, say no. Finding balance is important. • Multi-task. We try to squeeze in exercise or errands while the kids are engaged in their own activities.

Say no to things that cause your family schedule to become more stressful.

Organize everything. Give kids the responsibility for their own baskets, boxes or cubbies. Everyone likes the predictability of knowing where to find things. If mornings are tough, have them do as much as they can the night before to get ready.

Make the time for things that matter most.

Spend time together, listening, talking, reading and playing are among the most valuable things you can do with your family. When kids are asked what they want their parents to do, many will say, “just be present with me, listen to

me, have fun with me.” Ali Muilenburg and her husband are parents of two small boys, ages 16 months and 3 years. The couple attended the Family Resource Center-sponsored 10-week Make Parenting A Pleasure class taught by Anna Higgins. “I think once my husband and I realized there is no right way to parent, a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders,” Ali said. “You’ve got to make a continual commitment to the process; it doesn’t just happen. Parenting takes a lot of work and focused energy every minute of every day.” It’s important to remember we’re all in this together. “Just don’t forget yourself and the other adults in your lives,” Ertle says. “Your skills at managing your kids and your family reflect how you take care of yourself. So laugh often, practice flexibility, count to 10 or 20 when necessary and show love and affection each day. You’ll get it back 10-fold.” For more information, contact the Central Oregon Family Resource Center at 541-7716886.

• Develop safety nets. Engage in trusting relationships to help out in a jam.

Without Surgery or Laser Immediate Results

Introducing Vitamin Infusion!

Certified Distributor of Environ® Skin Care Products • • • • • •

Reverse and Prevent Skin Aging Heal Acne – Amazing Results! Wrinkles /Fine Lines /Enlarged Pores Loss of Facial & Neck Tone Uneven or rough texture Dull Lifeless Skin

Learn MORE ABOUT OUR TREATMENTS @

www.Clear-Complexions.com

U MAGAZINE | Relationships | 23


Sweet

Results Dessert recipes altered for optimum health still satisfy by Annissa Anderson, for The Bulletin Special Projects

No one likes to skip dessert, but many desserts are loaded with butter, white flour and refined white sugar. How can you treat yourself to a sweet dessert while maintaining a diet that is health supportive? Rather than denying yourself an occasional sweet treat, just change the ingredients. The consensus among health experts is that we should all avoid a diet that is high in fat, low in fiber and redolent with refined sugars. Over consumption of these ingredients can contribute to heart disease, diabetes, obesity and other health conditions. And another factor—food allergies and sensitivities—also makes many desserts off limits for optimum health. Whether it’s fat, sugar, dairy, eggs or white flour that you are trying to avoid, there are alternatives that you can use. This article will explore some of these different ingredients for desserts that will satisfy your

Photos by Nicole Werner

24 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE


sweet craving with wholesome, natural ingredients that promote a healthy lifestyle.

Fats

Some unsaturated fats (the good ones) are essential to our diet. But many desserts call for butter or lard, which contain saturated fats (the bad ones). Margarines are generally not a good substitute because most contain hydrogenated oils (trans fats), which are hard for the body to break down and eliminate, and have even been linked to cancer. You can include healthy fats in your desserts by choosing the right ones. Try subbing out the butter and lard in recipes for vegetable oils such as olive, canola, corn, cottonseed, flaxseed, grapeseed, safflower, soybean or sunflower oil. Coconut oil, which contains some saturated fat, is still a better alternative than butter. Some newer buttery spreads (like Earth Balance and Smart Balance) are made without hydrogenated oils. While they still contain some saturated fat, they do not have any trans fats.

Sugars

Desserts need sugar to be sweet, right? While this is true, there are alternatives to using refined white sugar, which has lost all of its fiber and nutrients in processing. Refined white sugar is also higher on the glycemic index than some other natural sugars. Some alternatives to refined white sugar can be easily be substituted in many recipes. For your overall health, it is best to limit use of sweeteners. But when you do use them, try sweeteners that are closest to whole foods, or in other words, those that are the least processed. Brown sugar is slightly less refined than white sugar. Honey,

maple, agave and brown rice syrup are all naturally delicious alternatives to sugar. Fructose, stevia and xylitol are also used as sugar replacers, although they may take more experimentation to use as straight substitutions. It is important to remember in substituting other sweeteners for sugar that they have varying degrees of sweetness. It is often necessary to change the amount of sweetener used. If making your own substitutions, look for conversion charts online or in health or diet-related cookbooks.

Dairy

While dairy products make us a healthy part of many people’s diet, they are also some of the most common food allergies. Whether you are allergic or merely sensitive to dairy products, it is good to know that there are non-dairy alternatives that can be used in baking and other desserts. Soymilk, expressed from soybeans that have been soaked, boiled and pureed, can be substituted in straight conversions for recipes that call for cow’s milk. Soy creamer contains more fat and can be used as a substitute for cream, yogurt or sour cream in some recipes. Almond milk and goat’s milk can also be substituted for milk in recipes, although both have a distinctive flavor that may alter the results of the recipe.

egg replacer. Egg replacer is a wonderful product that mimics what eggs do in a baking recipe, without the cholesterol. The main ingredients are potato starch, tapioca flour and leavening (also dairy and gluten-free). Using egg replacer sometimes requires some trial and error for perfect results. Smashed banana and applesauce can also serve as egg replacer, if the egg is intended to add moisture or as a binding agent. Use a half a banana or one-quarter cup applesauce for each egg that is called for. For cakes, and other baked goods that are expected to rise, it is best to use egg replacer or add leavening agents, like baking powder or baking soda, in addition to the banana or applesauce.

White Flour

All-purpose and pastry flours produce excellent cakes, but they are not the healthiest choices. For health considerations that include a high-fiber or gluten-free diet, try substituting some whole wheat flour (even half-and-half white and wheat is healthier) or alternatives to wheat flour in baked goods. For gluten-free substitutions, many flour mixes are available in health food stores. Most gluten-free flour mixes include one or more of the following: rice flour, tapioca flour or starch, and potato starch. Flours made from amaranth, buckwheat, millet, sorghum, arrowroot and teff are also used, most often blended with other flours. While wheat flour can be more easily substituted for white flour in many desserts, baking with gluten-free flours take more fine-tuning. Look for gluten-free recipes online or in magazines or cookbooks to experiment first before trying your own substitutions.

Egg

Eggs, considered the perfect food, can be healthy in moderation. But egg yolks are also high in cholesterolproducing fats. They are also one of the foods which most commonly produce food allergies and sensitivities. If high cholesterol, heart disease or an egg allergy is a consideration, a simple alternative for baking is U MAGAZINE | Well-being | 25


Healthful Dessert Recipes Soy Milk-Arborio Rice Pudding with Blueberries (Serves 4) Rice pudding has been a favorite dessert of mine as far back as I can remember. This variation uses Italian Arborio rice, which is usually used in risotto, and soy milk. If intolerance to dairy is not a factor, regular milk may be used for similar results. This rice pudding is low-fat, and egg, dairy and gluten-free!

Ingredients:

Pinch of salt 1 cup water 1/2 cup Arborio rice 2 cups plain soy milk 2 tablespoons honey 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1/3 cup dried blueberries Fresh blueberries and/or strawberries Photos by Nicole Werner

To Advertise on the Wellness Page contact Kristin Morris at 541-617-7855 or kmorris@bendbulletin.com

Now Offering

Prolotherapy & PRP Injections

Chiropractic Care ... ... but it’s more than that.

$50 Initial Visit with this ad.

Book online at www.bendnsa.com or call 541-383-8040

A non-surgical alternative for shoulder rotator cuffs and other injuries; tennis elbow, knee, sacroiliac, low back, ankle, neck, headache and related issues. Find relief naturally!

Ron Rosen MD PC Board Certified Internal Medicine and Medical Acupuncture • Osteopathic Manual Medicine

Integrated Medicine 541-388-3804 • 918 NE 5th St., Bend

Mental Health Problems can Make Life a Lonely Road. Let me help… Offering Psychiatric evaluation, medication management, Brief Therapy to patients age 18 and older.

Nick Campo, ANCC Certifed PMHNP

541-382-8862

39 NW Louisiana Ave, Bend www.lifeworksbend.com

26 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

Method:

1. In a medium saucepan, bring the water to a boil with the salt. Add the rice and cook over low heat, stirring often, until most of the water has been absorbed, about 12 minutes. Stir in 1/3 cup of the soy milk and cook, stirring, until it is absorbed, about 3 minutes. Continue adding the soy milk 1/3 cup at a time and stirring constantly until it is absorbed between additions; after the soy milk is absorbed, the rice should be creamy and tender. Stir in the honey, vanilla and dried blueberries. 2. Spoon the rice pudding into bowls. Top with fresh berries and serve right away.


Cardamom Cake (Dairy and Egg Free)

Serves 12

My friend Rachael Manzo converted this recipe from one she found in “The Moosewood Cookbook” by Mollie Katzen. The original recipe called for a full pound of butter! This dairy- and egg-free version is much lower in fat and cholesterol, but retains its delicious flavor and moist texture. Serve with mango-flavored nondairy frozen dessert (like So Delicious or Coconut Bliss) for a wonderful pairing of flavors.

replacer instructions recommend, but the thick mixture works better for this recipe

Ingredients:

3. Sift together the dry ingredients in a separate bowl.

1 cup coconut oil 2 cups (packed) light brown sugar 12 teaspoons egg replacer, mixed with 8 tablespoons water* 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 4 cups unbleached white flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 2 1/2 teaspoons baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon ground cardamom 2 cups soy creamer

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray a 9-inch springform pan or 10-inch bundt pan with cooking oil. 2. In a large mixing bowl, beat coconut oil with sugar until light and fluffy. Add egg replacer mixture and mix until incorporated. Stir in the vanilla.

4. Add the flour mixture, 1/3 of it at a time, to the oil mixture, alternating with the soy creamer. Stir just enough to blend after each addition. Don’t overmix. 5. Bake approximately 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean. Allow to cool in pan for 20 minutes, then invert onto a cake plate. Slice and serve.

*This ratio is twice as thick as the egg

ness! it F f o s y a d • FREE 7ent Fee! m ll o r n E TRIAL • NO K E E W 1 ntary • Complime p to Boot Cam Group Exercise Classes Personal Training Programs Boot Camp Victor

*We Have Child Care* For Members

www.elitefiteducate.com

541.728.0002

optimafootandankle.com

61470 S. Hwy 97 #3 Across from Fred Meyer next to Apollo Tanning U MAGAZINE | Well-being | 27


TREAT YOUR FEET this summer Throughout most of the year, the purpose of your feet is purely functional. They keep you upright and balanced, taking the brunt of your body’s weight as you move through your daily routine.

The warming weather of spring changes all that. As soon as the sandals and flip-flops emerge from the back of your closet, your feet take on a more aesthetic role. In the summer, your feet are on display, and you want them to appear attractive, vibrant and healthy. Nail technicians Jinny Mills and Kimberly Harwood, both of Oasis Day Spa in Bend, share their secrets to caring for and styling your feet, toes and nails for the summer season.

• Start

with a soak and scrub.

“Soak your feet in warm water — put in your favorite bubble bath scent — then exfoliate with a pumice stone to make the bottom of your feet nice and smooth,” said Mills. • Tend to your toes. “Use a cuticle stick to exfoliate dead skin around the toenail beds,” Mills said. “Then clip your nails straight across to prevent hangnails.” Also be sure to moisturize your cuticles.

“Using a buffer with a drop of oil in your cuticle will give you that polished look you want for your feet all summer long,” said Harwood. • Add

color for the season.

According to Harwood and Mills, a number of nail colors are considered “hot” for the toes this summer: purple, green, blue, pink, orange and red. Grey and brown are also trendy for the toes.

And if you’re unsure what direction to go, or if you just want to be pampered with a professional pedicure, consider visiting a spa. “It’s easier to just go to the spa, as reaching your feet can be difficult,” Mills said. “We’ll put on your favorite color, and wow, your feet will look amazing.”

SUNDAY & MONDAY SPECIALS

All Summer Long!

PURCHASE A SPA PEDICURE AND RECEIVE

1/2 Off your Manicure

RECEIVE A 75 MINUTE MASSAGE FOR ONLY

$75 A Session

ENJOY A 30 MINUTE EUROPEAN FACIAL FOR ONLY

$30 A Session

NEW CLIENTS: PURCHASE HAIR COLOR SERVICE

Receive A Free Haircut

Mention this ad and you to receive these special offers

New Summer Hours

Monday - Saturday 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. Sundays 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. We’re your full service salon & day spa 541-317-1404

full service day spa 28 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

www.oasisspaofbend.com

- 133 SW Century Drive, Suite 104 - Bend


The Truth is in the

Numbers

Hormonal imbalances are as common with men as they are with women. by Lori Gleichman, for The Bulletin Special Projects Tired? Irritable? Trouble sleeping? Depressed and anxious? Skin drying, suddenly gaining weight when diet and exercise haven’t changed, and libido lagging? No, these questions aren’t meant for women. They’re for men. “Men have as many issues with hormonal imbalance as women,” said Evelyn Brust, N.D., LAc. “They have the same symptoms, but it’s not macho to talk about it.” That’s unfortunate, she continued, because men can benefit as much from education and treatment as women. First, men need to understand that they have more hormones than testosterone. Secondly, they need to understand that testosterone is important for overall health, not just sexual function. “As I evaluate men’s health, I pay attention to five hormone functions: thyroid, insulin, testosterone, cortisol, human growth hormone and DHEA,” said Brust. “All combined, they regulate a man’s health and body function. Unfortunately, men don’t have a monthly ‘report card’ like women, so it’s less clear when something or a combination of things get off track.” While women often initially cite emotional and psychological concerns like feeling anxious and depressed, men zero in on physical issues like a middleaged bulge, lack of energy or increased healing time after

U MAGAZINE | Well-being | 29


“Unfortunately, men don’t have a monthly ‘report card’ like women, so it’s less clear when something or a combination of things get off track.”

Mary Blizzard (above, with her husband, Richard Kelly) says that Kelly appears lethargic, seemingly “aging before my eyes,” without a regular dose of testosterone for hormonal balance. Photo by Lyle Cox.

a minor injury. “They notice that their physical performance has changed,” said Brust. “Often they think they need to tough it out, but it’s more than enough reason to seek out some medical advice.” This is something women can be sensitive to, perhaps suggesting the men in their

30 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

lives see a doctor. According to Brust, if a woman is changing metabolically, she can assume her male partner is too. It’s not uncommon for a man in his 40s and 50s to see a significant drop in his production of testosterone, or see the thyroid function falter. Both result in symptoms like

fatigue, being short-tempered, drying skin and a vague sense of depression. But many men don’t seek help until sexual function is involved. “That’s a man’s report card,” said Brust. “That’s when a man will seek help.” As did Jim Miller. “My libido was off, and that was enough to convince me to get tested,” he said. Once trouble with the prostate is ruled out, that’s when Brust or another specialist in bioidentical hormone replacement therapy can have a candid and comprehensive conversation about hormonal balance and overall health. “It’s all about goals with men,” she said. “Once the labs are done and the numbers are on the table, most are very willing to talk about diet, exercise and treatments. Most often, they zero in on testosterone and,

while improving intimacy is an important goal, hormonal balance is critical in protecting against heart disease and bone loss in men too.” “The first goal is to get the thyroid functioning at optimum levels,” she continued, as this gland is the traffic cop for the body. “It has to be functioning well for other systems to work as they should.” That done, testosterone in the form of creams or injections can be considered. “Bringing those levels up can significantly change how a man is feeling, both emotionally and physically,” she said. “They’ll see the same increase in energy, brighter looking skin and better mood women experience when they are correctly balanced.” Richard Kelly, 72, really understood the difference hormonal balance makes to how he feels as a result of running


out of his testosterone prescription twice on extended trips to Costa Rica. “It was like he was aging before my eyes,” said his wife, Mary Blizzard. “He was very lethargic, and his mental edge got very dull.” Kelly sought out a testosterone injection from a local pharmacy, and the resulting improvement was “dramatic.” “He does it as a preventative measure against anti-aging, and we can really see the difference with and without,” she said. However, don’t assume that testosterone is an easy fix. It requires consulting with the prescribing physician and having labs drawn at least twice a year as testosterone is a controlled substance. And don’t confuse hormonal balance with anabolic steroids, said Brust. “Each have different goals, different dosages and different results,” she said. According to Brust, it’s best to focus on feeling your best regardless of age. “Men shouldn’t avoid the conversation,” she said. “They should be comfortable in seeking out options.”

U MAGAZINE | Well-being | 31


High Desert Life Styles

Date Night 3 1

During your next date night, step out in style and comfort wearing local fashion favorites.

2

4

1. Cascad Jacket by Comfy U.S.A.: One of this year’s most popular fashion trends is one of the most comfortable. This lightweight, flowing jacket provides flattering coverage and sporty femininity. $119 2. Coordinating Wide-Strap Tank by Comfy U.S.A.: Tanks are a versatile part of any wardrobe and can be worn day or night. $35 3. Artisan Necklace by Britz Beads: This necklace was constructed locally and created with opalite glass, Swarovski crystals, sterling cones and finished off with a handmade clay pendant. $68 4. Two-sided White Gardenia Handbag: Celebrate a special evening out on a warm summer night with your small necessities tucked into this festive handbag. $45.50

5 32 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

5. Pants by Tribal: If you’re leaving from work, these pants will keep you from fussing over an entire wardrobe change. $89


7

7. Jewelry by Mon Bijou: Organic shapes and texture of Mon Bijou earrings complement a wide array of styles. Satisfy your inner fashionista with a single, bold floral ring. Earrings $45; Ring $55

6

8. Dr. Scholls Miracle Shield: About the size of a tube of lipstick, the Miracle Shield glides onto feet where shoes and sandals rub and protects against irritation. $5.29 at drugstores 6. Anita Black Patent Leather Sandal by Söft: After your pedicure, slip into these classy black sandals. Their classic shape and neutral color will make you want to wear them summer after summer. $99

8 9. Colour Sheers Lipstick by Mirabella: The perfect red lipstick is the classic date night accessory. Select a brighter red for more “pop” or a deeper toned red for a more sophisticated look. $22

9

Items courtesy of CC McKenzie, Bella Moda and Azurá Studio in Bend

S A C R O I L L I A C PA I N H E R N I AT E D D I S C S C I AT I C A

Get Back to Your Life

N E U R O PAT H Y ARTHRITIS B A C K PA I N FA I L E D B A C K S U R G E RY TRIGGER POINT R A D I C U L O PAT H Y D E G E N E R AT I V E DISC DISEASE N E C K PA I N D A I LY HEADACHE M U S C L E S PA S M REFLEX S Y M PAT H E T I C DY S T R O P H Y SPINE ARTHRITIS

Bend Spine & Pain Specialists Theodore Ford, MD

Board Certified Anesthesiologist Board Certified Pain Specialist Non-surgical Pain Management

(541) 647 - 1646

2041 NE Williamson Court, Suite B • Bend www.BendSpineandPain.com U MAGAZINE | Image | 33


IS FASHION SYNONYMOUS

with style?

According to Karen Poulsen, owner of Bella Moda, a designer resale boutique in downtown Bend, the answer is a resounding no. “Fashion is given to us; it’s dictated to us through designers and fashion magazines,” she said. “Style is something we decide. Every woman has the power to define her own style.” And to define this style — to create a style that is uniquely yours — is to breed a sense of confidence and personal flair that can evolve through the seasons of the year as well as the seasons of your life. “Once you’ve found your personal sense of style, it needs to gradually change over time as the fashion world changes from season to season,” Poulsen said. “Seasons change over a lifetime, from when you’re young and single or married with children, to when you’re a business

professional or have just sent your kids to college. Style is an evolution.” This evolution does not require drastic annual turnovers in wardrobes. Versatility is key. In this vein, Poulsen offers the following advice for selecting clothing and accessories that enhance versatility and freshen your personal style: • Extend and embellish your wardrobe with items with no or static sizes. Adding or swapping handbags, scarves, jackets/coats, shoes, jewelry, etc., offers a simple way for any woman to

freshen the style of her wardrobe. “These are all great pieces within which to embellish your current wardrobe without redefining it,” Poulsen said. • Buy one complete new outfit, making sure each piece within that outfit will complement other pieces that already exist in your wardrobe. “With that one new purchase you’re really creating many new outfits,” Poulsen said.

Taking the high-price out of

HIGH FASHION.

A new concept boutique, we specialize in High End Designer Resale, Designer Samples, and Select Retail merchandise. We focus on your individual style, whether it is classic casual, everyday comfort with style, or special occasion with a unique twist; we have you covered. From jeans for ladies with curves, classic travel wear, to authentic designer handbags, we have a wide variety of choices for the value conscious fashionista! Come in and meet with one of our fashion consultants and visit our elegant dressing rooms; “Paris” and “New York”.

Join us in celebrating our 1st Birthday during the month of June. 1001 NW WALL STREET | BEND | 541-550-7001 | MON-SAT 10AM-6PM 34 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

• Be versatile. Buy pieces that you can dress up or dress down. For instance, reversible coats and jackets allow for both fun and formality. A button-up tunic can be worn casually with jeans or leggings, or more elegantly as a dress or a jacket. • Seek out a fashion consultant — a friend whose fashion sense you respect and admire, or a consultant at a local boutique such as Bella Moda. “Make sure the style you choose and the clothes you choose for that style feel good and make you feel good,” Poulsen said.


Buyer, meet

SELLER Cathy Hendricks creates organization that supports at-home, independent owners. by Susan Thomas Springer, for The Bulletin Special Projects Last year, after Cathy Hendricks was laid off from an information technology job due to the recession, she asked herself, “I’ve been working since the sixth grade. What’s next?” What came next turned out to be a rewarding career as well as a boost to other self-employed business people. Hendricks became an independent representative for two companies and began selling their products. She appreciated the positive energy of other vendors she met and wanted to make it easier for at-home business owners to find local events and to share information. “Now I understand the power of networking and the joy of it,” said Hendricks. Hendricks points out that the math of networking gets exciting when a group of people share their contacts with each other. So Hendricks formed Central Oregon Business at Home (COBAH). Her goal is for this group, through its website, to connect business owners to selling events, to share knowledge with each other, and to provide networking opportunities. Also, it’s a resource for shoppers to find local business people and their websites. COBAH has already organized one event where shoppers could buy from vendors including Mary Kay, The Pampered Chef, Cookie Lee, Tomboy Tools and Juice Plus. The April event at a Bend hotel was a good start. There was a waiting list for vendors, and it was well attended by shoppers. Hendricks says that people liked the products found at the event and appreciated the opportunity to buy them in a way other than attending a home party. Central Oregon Business at Home provides an additional avenue for small business owners to sell their products or services. While many of the initial members are representatives of larger companies, membership is also open to independent business owners. Cathy Hendricks (right) displays variations of Miche Bags, which she sells. Photos by Lyle Cox.

U MAGAZINE | Achieve | 35


Elizabeth Cook (above), a representative for Discovery Toys, was involved in the early stages of COBAH’s formation.

36 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE

The group is in the midst of forming a board of directors, collecting members and expanding its website. Hendricks says both her business and her new business membership organization are fulfilling and fun. “I love being able to use every skill I have garnered over the years,” said Hendricks. Hendricks is a self-starter who babysat and worked in cafés as a girl. She always had the entrepreneurial spirit; once in high school she sold fried chicken dinners for one dollar for the Fourth of July. Hendricks grew up to have a diverse career in the fields of fashion, accounting, catering, employee benefits and more. Today she is a distributor for Send Out Cards and an independent representative for Miche Bags. Send Out Cards mails a greeting card and personal message which people select online. Her designer bags are popular because the style of the bag can be changed simply by switching the outer shell. “A hand bag is not a luxury item, it is a necessity,” said Hendricks. Business is going well. Hendricks has observed that even in today’s economy, “women like to shop.” While Hendricks also enjoyed being an employee, she finds her at-home businesses “liberating.” She likes the freedom to plan her own time, and she loves working at home with her two golden retrievers at her feet. Hendricks said that while some of her fellow business owners are interested in adding to the main family income, most are working full time. She adds that it takes a good work ethic to successfully manage your own business. “You have to have drive. If you’re going to make a living out of it, you’ve got to work it,” said Hendricks. Elizabeth Cook, a representative for Discovery Toys, is involved in the group’s formative stage. Cook appreciates the flexibility and family-friendly

work of being a representative. She says the new group will be a great resource for shoppers who value supporting local businesses. Through both the website and local events, shoppers can buy products and services from people in their own communities. “We’re really excited to see what potential it has,” said Cook. Central Oregon Business at Home is coordinating a large event for this fall. To publicize events such as this one, members can pay to participate in advertisements that they might not otherwise be able to afford on their own. Hendricks said the benefits of the group extend beyond the practical. She appreciates how helpful other business people are in sharing their expertise. Hendricks is excited to see the group evolve. “I think you learn something new every day whatever you do,” said Hendricks. Learn more about Hendricks’s group at centraloregonbusinessathome. com.


At the Workplace

by Connie Worrell-Druliner, for The Bulletin

Leading in a New Economy TIPS EVERY LEADER SHOULD KNOW.

The challenges of leadership in today’s economy are many. Some are tried and true, while others are unlike any in recent history. Regardless, leadership is what will separate the good from the great as our country works to rebuild a thriving, stable economy. Today, businesses everywhere are ramping up to come out of this recession stronger than before and rise above the rest. That’s why business leaders at all levels must assess their current skill sets to make sure they can effectively lead their team to produce positive outcomes for their departments and companies. As the economy and business market changes, it’s essential for business leaders to grow and develop with it. Their success as a leader and as a company depends on it These four tactics can be beneficial in that process.

Be Flexible

Some managers believe they always have the answers, are always right and never need to compromise. But today’s successful leaders realize that a heavy-hand approach can be counterproductive. The best leaders will be the ones who aren’t afraid to say, “I’m not entirely sure; what do you think?” or “Hey, let’s try something new and see if it works.” The changing economy brought uncertainty to the workplace, so a flexible leadership style can help navigate in this new business environment. Leaders who are

their employees and help them develop their careers.

open-minded are more likely to capitalize on new ideas.

Delegate Tasks and Trust Others

The truth is most people learn by doing. And in today’s workplace, it’s essential to allow others to grow within their career and take on more responsibilities. Most people in upper management worked hard to get where they are by doing things themselves. So, they often rely on continuing to do things the same way. But, effective leaders know how to trust others to help them accomplish their goals and delegate tasks to team members. They understand the importance of equipping their team members to accomplish individual goals. Micromanagers will not only have difficulty thriving in this new environment, but they may also lose valuable employees in the process.

Hire for Success

Hiring for success means hiring based on skill sets a leader lacks.

Because a great leader knows her limitations, she’s not afraid to admit her faults. In order for business leaders to achieve desired results, they must put the right people in place: employees who will compliment the skills of the entire team. Being surrounded by the best employees will ultimately be a boost to any leader—and will set the entire company up for success.

The time is now for leaders to step up and focus on being effective. Those who achieve success will be the leaders who grow, develop and change with the new economy. By focusing on coaching, delegation, flexibility and hiring right, leaders will create a strong workforce that will outlast their competition and create a company that will rise above the rest. For fun, if you would like to find out about your leadership style, go to www. myleadershipinstinct.com, or contact Express Employment Professionals Bend.

Coach Regularly

Mentoring employees has always been an important part of leadership, but now more than ever, it’s a necessary ingredient for any successful manager. Taking time to coach employees will result in higher productivity and increased engagement. Many employees have worked harder than ever this past year, and showing employees you’re invested in their career development will foster loyalty and respect. Leaders, even those who generally don’t consider themselves to be good mentors, will need to coach

Connie Worrell-Druliner is the founder of a locally owned business, Express Employment Professionals, offering human resource solutions. Express can help your organization, by finding qualified workers, solving your retention needs, and providing knowledge based training to your workforce.

U MAGAZINE | Achieve | 37


What to do... U Pick:

Saturday & Sunday, June 5-6 THE LARAMIE PROJECT: The Rever Theatre Company, made up of local high school students, presents the story of a young gay man found tied to a fence outside Laramie, Wyo; $12, $10 students and seniors; 2 and 7 p.m.; 2nd Street Theater, 220 N.E. Lafayette Ave., Bend; 541-7886555, revertheatreco@ gmail.com or www. revertheatreco.ticketleap. com.

Family:

Saturday-Sunday, June 5-6 BALLOONS OVER BEND: The eighth annual event includes dozens of hot air balloons, live music, juggling, face painting, vendors, a night glow in Riverbend Park and more; free; Old Mill District, 661 S.W. Powerhouse Drive; 541-323-0964 or www.balloonsoverbend.com. Sundays, beginning June 13 SUMMER SUNDAY CONCERTS: Free concerts every Sunday; 2:30 p.m., gates open 1 p.m.; Les Schwab Amphitheater, 344 S.W. Shevlin Hixon Drive, Bend; 541-322-9383 or www.theoldmill. com/live-events. Saturday-Sunday, July 10-11 BEND SUMMER FESTIVAL: Featuring artists, street

U Magazine’s selection of upcoming events to definitely include on your “must do” list. performers, performing arts, children’s activities, live music, food and drink; free; 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; downtown Bend; 541-3890995, inquiry@c3events.com or www.c3events.com. Saturday, July 17 CHILDREN’S FESTIVAL: Featuring more than 40 activity booths, jump houses, dance and karate demonstrations, food; proceeds benefit Saving Grace; free admission, 50 cents per activity ticket, $20 all-day pass; 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Drake Park, 777 N.W. Riverside Blvd., Bend; 541-3857988 or www.saving-grace.org.

Arts:

Saturday & Sunday, June 19-20 OREGON BALLET THEATRE: Watch the dance company

perform four short ballets; followed by Q&A; $22; 1 p.m.; Caldera Arts Center, 31500 Blue Lake Drive, Sisters; 503-205-0715. Friday, July 2 FIRST FRIDAY GALLERY WALK: Event includes art exhibit openings, artist talks, live music, wine and food in downtown Bend, the Old Mill District and NorthWest Crossing; free; 5 to 9 p.m., and until 8 p.m. in NorthWest Crossing; throughout Bend.

Food:

Throughout Summer FARMER’S MARKETS: Find fresh produce, meats and crafts at farmer’s markets throughout Central Oregon, including Madras (Saturdays, 541-489-3239), Prineville (Saturdays, 541-2804097), Redmond (Mondays,

Turn over a New Leaf!

AZURÁ

Top Leaf M até B with Santi ar ago

~STUDIO~ SALON & DAY SPA

22nd Century Self Healing Center Healing Center • $20 Shiatsu Massage Chair Rabbine Harpell Azurá Studio Owner & Health Coach

541-385-1846

• $20 Anti-Gravity Swing • $15 Chi Oxygenation Machine

Anti-gravity Therapy - Private Session Twin Photon - Bioenergetics Theta Healing - Brainwave Homeostasis - Relief from Depression, Anxiety and Trauma Pain

Full Service Salon & Spa Walk-ins Welcome

Swedish Massage • Deep Tissue • Hot Stone • Sports Therapy • Anti-Aging Algae • Vitamin C • Aromatherapy • Body Wraps Hair • Nails • Facials • Waxing • Lash Extensions

20% Spa Services OFF Facials/Nails/Massage Expires 7-2-10

856 NW Bond St. #3 • Downtown Bend • 541-385-1846 • www.azurastudiobend.com 38 | Early Summer 2010 | U MAGAZINE


redmondfarmersmarket.com) and Bend (Wednesdays at Drake Park & Fridays at St. Charles, bendfarmersmarket.com; Saturdays at Northwest Crossing 541-389-0995). Saturday-Sunday, June 26-27 BITE OF BEND: Food festival includes local food booths

offering bites of their creations, a beer garden, wine, a Top Chef competition, a children’s area and live music; proceeds benefit KIDS Center; free; 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; downtown Bend; 541-323-0964, info@layitoutevents.com or www. thebiteofbend.com.

Give Back:

Sunday, June 6 HEAVEN CAN WAIT: 5K walk and run to benefit Sara’s Project; $20-30, $40 on race day; 7:30-8:30 a.m. registration, 9 a.m. race begins; Drake Park, 777 N.W. Riverside Blvd., Bend; 541-3890756 or www.heavencanwait.org.

Just Unwind:

Saturday, June 19 SISTERS WINE & BREW FESTIVAL: Wineries and breweries offer selections; wine and beer pairing classes, cooking demos; free admission; 11 a.m.-6 p.m.; Village Green Park; 541-385-7988, www.sisterswineandbrew.com.

WOMEN IN BUSINESS OWNERS Barbara A. Rumer, CFP , Owner

Sanna Phinney, Certified Exchange Specialist

®

®

Fee-Only Financial Planning; Investment Planning; Retirement Planning. Unbiased advice from Barbara A. Rumer, CFP.® As a financial advocate, coach and guide for two decades, I have provided timely, unbiased advice to people in all stages of life. By charging you an hourly consultation fee, I have no conflicts of interest and offer focused, individually tailored solutions. Whether simple or complex, I empower you to make the best financial decisions possible.

541-330-3938

www.rumerfinancial.com

1592 NW Remarkable Dr, Bend, OR 97701

BARBARA A. RUMER, CFP®, LLC A Fee-Only Financial Planning Firm

At 1031 Asset Exchange, Sanna helps her clients make the most of their investment using the financial advantage of a tax-deferred exchange. Her business has been built upon uncompromising honesty and integrity. Sanna instills peace of mind to her clients by providing security features such as qualified escrow accounts, as well as, E&O insurance. Next time you need 1031 exchange services contact Sanna for your complimentary consultation.

541-388-1031

86 SW Century Drive, #338 • Bend, OR 97702 www.1031ae.com • sanna@1031ae.com

Julie Hansmann, Co-owner of Hansmann & Sons Construction

WOMEN IN BUSINESS

PROFESSIONALS

541-617-1601

63032 Lower Meadow Drive, Suite 100 www.HansmannAndSons.com

Anita Johnson

Catherine Lundberg Catherine graduated from Vidal Sassoon Academy in Los Angeles in 1982. Previously the owner of her own salon business in Santa Barbara for 21 years, she was also the house stylist for La Belle Modeling Agency. Catherine takes one client at a time allowing her to focus completely on your needs. She considers your lifestyle, body structure and facial features to create a look tailored just for you. Catherine listens carefully and gives helpful suggestions resulting with a finished hairstyle that’s exactly what you want.

541-848-1060

2736 NW Crossing Drive, #140 Bend, OR 97701

Julie and her husband Steve started their custom home building company 31 years ago. Their key to success is excellent communication with their clients. They really listen to their client’s desires and accommodate their needs. Hansmann & Sons has not had an unhappy customer in 31 years, now that’s great customer care! Please visit our web site at www.HansmannAndSons.com or call the Hansmanns at:

SALON

Remember me? I’m Anita Johnson, former owner of AJ & Company. Well, I certainly remember you! To my former clients — I’ve missed you! I’m happy to announce you can now find me at Indulgence Salon (on Hill Street) in Bend. To new and previous clients alike, I look forward to indulging you with fabulous hair care: condition, cut, style, and color with you in mind. Please call me for an appointment at: 541-388-3275.

Anita Johnson Indulgence Salon 541-388-3275 618 NW Hill Street, Bend

U MAGAZINE | Achieve | 39



Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.