MY EXPERIENCE WITH MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT DURING LOCKDOWN

FEATURES M Y E X P E R I E N C E W I T H M E N TA L H E A LT H

TREATMENT DURING LOCKDOWN

Coronavirus has had a greater impact than simply The assessment was really hard on me. I cried a lot. There on those infected, and for many people, their were things they asked that I couldn’t answer so I panicked mental health has been hit hard. I have suffered and froze. But they were patient with me and sympathetic. from anxiety and depression for about three I was worried about feeling judged or pitied, but I wasn’t. years. Usually, I function quite well, but when I have It was a relief more than anything, despite how difficult it bad days it can have a profound impact on my ability to was getting through it at first.

do even the smallest things. Like for many people, the

pandemic and lockdown has made this a lot harder. I was referred for six weeks of CBT, done through weekly In mid-March this year, it was suddenly announced that were, but slowly we started making progress. The physical the end of term was going to be brought forward by a symptoms are still there and probably always will be, week. As naïve and self-centred as it sounds, this whole but I was taught how to manage my thoughts and given Covid-19 thing was suddenly something real in my life, strategies to make them less overwhelming. I am better not just a poster in Hartley saying to wash our hands more. equipped to deal with them now, and the bad days aren’t It wasn’t something happening somewhere else to other quite so bad anymore. people. It was real. Then, on March 23 rd , those of us left in our student house experience with the system, and there are a lot of people huddled together to watch Boris Johnson address the with similar problems or worse who are scared to get help, nation, announcing the start of lockdown. I remember or don’t know how. I’m grateful to have people around me feeling scared and uncertain. We had no idea how long it who support me and pushed me to do this. This pandemic would last for, or how effective it might be. But there was has been hard on everyone, so if you are struggling then a strong sense that things would not be normal again for a you’re not alone. There is help out there. very long time, if ever.

The first time I went food shopping during lockdown was terrifying. I remember feeling incredibly self-conscious as I desperately tried to avoid other people who were less fussed about keeping their distance. I couldn’t breathe and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack right in the middle of Tesco.

Things got even harder when uni resumed online. I love what I study, and I so desperately wanted to throw myself into it, but I just didn’t have the concentration or energy. Keeping up with all the work I had to do was exhausting and the mental drain was making me physically sick. I wasn’t looking after myself and often I would just lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling feeling nothing.

So I really needed help. I referred myself to a counselling service with an online form and an assessment was set up. Everything was done over phone calls or online, because in person meetings were, for obvious reasons, not possible. Opening up to a stranger about all the ways in which I was struggling over the phone was not easy. 30-minute phone calls. I didn’t like how short the sessions I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have a positive

WORDS BY REBECCA WILLIAMS IMAGE BY FRANCES ROSE