THE Local Guide for Active Urban Families January/February 2011
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Happy New Year! Our Education Issue is Here!
Neuroplasticity, Social Development, Early Learning and More!
Families and Divorce
Have a Happy Body! January/February 2011
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WestCoastFamilies.com
January/February 2011
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FREE
THE Local Guide for Active Urban Families January/February 2011
Happy New Year!
January/February 2011
Our Education Issue is Here!
Top Story
Neuroplasticity, Social Development, Early Learning and More!
Education Neuroplasticity, Have a Happy Body!
Families and Divorce
On Our Cover
Clementine, age four, is readin’ up a storm! Photographed by Dylan Doubt Photography.
From the Editor 6 6 8 10 28 29
Editor’s Note Your Thoughts WCF Presents Contests Where to Find Us Community Calendar
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WCM Profile Teacher Kristy Kaye WCM Feature Have a Happy Body! WCM Events
Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/wcfmag 4
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social development, early learning and more!
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Features
11 Lights! Camera! Action! Advice for parents of future film and TV stars 12 Dance & Theatre Listings Find classes in YOUR area 15 EDUCATION: Brain Plasticity 16 EDUCATION: Early Learning and Social Development 19 EDUCATION: Early Learning Centres and Resources 24 Families and Divorce
Columns 8 21 22 30
WestCoast Finds Parenting The Secret Language of Parents Travel Toddler RV Safari Last Look Cartoon Mirrors
In Our Next Issue Sign Up for Our Email Blast And get Exclusive Access to Online Contests Latest Finds & Deals Special Offers Event Listings …and much more!
March Health and Fitness Spring Break Fun! WestCoast Mom: Friendship
January/February 2011
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“What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
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As I write this, my daughter sits beside me, sounding out letters and words from Mother Goose. She has shown a remarkable curiosity about learning to read, and so she spells and sounds out the titles of each poem, until she can read it through, and then quickly recites the rhyme (she has them all memorized) before proceeding to the next page and beginning again. It’s a long process, but she loves this game, and my laissez faire parenting style relishes the— admittedly rare—ability to just sit back for a half hour and let someone else do all the work. Regrettably, I cannot take any credit for her spelling fixation. We read together—well, I read to her—every day and every night before bed, but I have never actively encouraged her to spell words or even learn the alphabet. That credit goes to her preschool. Without understanding that she was actually “learning,” my daughter mastered the days of the week, the months of the year and the correct spelling of her own name, as well as of all her friends—all before her fourth birthday. More importantly, she learned—and continues to learn—how to interact with her peers in a cooperative and engaged manner, and have empathy for those around her. So while I’m thrilled that she can spell Little Tommy Tittlemouse, I’m absolutely ecstatic that she has already begun to grasp the basics of social interaction. More and more, teachers, caregivers and parents are realizing that intellectual development is dependent on social/emotional development, that one cannot—
Photographed by eclipseph otography.ca
editor’s note
and should not—flourish without the other. We seem to learn best in a more holistic environment, and we know—thanks to new research on brain plasticity—that our development never stops. And speaking of workouts, it’s the start of a new year, which means that it’s time for us all to make—and eventually break—our New Year’s resolutions. The breaking of my promises to myself is a long-standing tradition that dates back to my teen years, but I thought that maybe this year, I would approach the list in a different manner. Instead of setting unattainable goals (lose 10 pounds per week, clean all my floors daily), I have decided to make only one resolution: to listen to myself. More specifically, listen to what my body has to say, and how and when it’s saying it. As mothers, we’re so busy listening to everyone around us that we forget to pay attention to ourselves. And if you’re curious how to get out of this rut, turn to page 26 to learn how you can actually have a happy body—this and every year. See ya in the schoolyard!
your thoughts Thanks for the awesome—and hilarious—gift guide! [November/December 2010] I found some great ideas in there, and had a good laugh at the $13,000 fireplace. Although I think I’ll keep my “bling” around my neck or on my finger where it belongs. F. Jillies Thanks for the great article on how to teach kids more than just outward manners [When Saying I’m Sorry Doesn’t Cut It, September 2010]. I also believe that kids need to learn the consequences and full import of their behaviour. It’s not enough that they say they’re sorry. They have to learn the difference between right and wrong, and the consequences thereof. Great job! A. Sandhu
Got anything to say, rant about or praise? We want to hear it all! Email editor@westcoastfamilies.com with your comments, questions and suggestions, and be entered to win monthly prizes! 6
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(RE: Learning to Let Go, November/December 2010) I grew up in Vancouver and was a child in the 70’s and 80’s. As a mom of young kids (ages 4-9), I often reminisce with other moms my age about our independence when we were kids. I remember my mother sending me eight blocks to kindergarten all by myself after walking me the first two days. Throughout elementary school, almost all kids walked to school on their own. My younger brother had a friend whose mother walked him everyday until grade six and he was made fun of for that—called “Momma’s boy” etc. When my brother was six, he took the bus weekly by himself to go to an afterschool activity. He even had to transfer buses! He’s in his 30s now and is a wonderful dad himself. Why on earth do today’s parents keep such a super-tight leash on their kids and why do they scoff at other parents who teach theirs some independence? Have we forgotten how we ourselves grew up? Cars, busy intersections, strangers, etc, have always existed for decades, so why teach today’s kids how to become insecure, parentdependent young adults? It’s a topic I often discuss with my friends and family and I hope Ms. Howard (whose articles I always enjoy) keeps exploring. M. Kami
13988 Maycrest Way, Suite 140, 2nd Floor Richmond, BC V6V 3C3 Tel: 604.249.2866 Fax: 604.247.1331 westcoastfamilies.com info@westcoastfamilies.com ublisher P Andrea Vance publisher@westcoastfamilies.com Managing Editor Anya Levykh editor@westcoastfamilies.com Art Director & Layout Krysta Furioso studio@westcoastfamilies.com Accounts Receivable & Bookkeeping Jennifer Brulé finance@westcoastfamilies.com Administration / Editorial Assistant Jennifer Bruyns admin@westcoastfamilies.com Advertising Inquiries sales@westcoastfamilies.com 604-249-2866 For distribution inquiries, please contact: Jennifer Bruyns Contributors: Bopomo Pictures, Jennifer Bruyns, Dylan Doubt Photography, Nicola Enright-Moran,Amy Fardell, Wendy Helfenbaum, Gillian Lebrandt, Shari Pratt, Alyssa Schottland-Bauman, Carole Tarlington, Andrea Vance. WestCoast Families (WCF) is an independent, regional parenting publication. As the Lower Mainland’s prime resource for happy, healthy & active families, WCF provides informative and relevant content. All contents copyrighted ©. Written permission from the publisher is required to reproduce, quote, reprint or copy any material from WestCoast Families. PUBLICATIONS MAIL 40027247 Published nine times per year in British Columbia, Canada. Total circulation: 50,000 For queries about editorial submissions, please view the contributor guidelines on our website. To submit a community calendar event or share your feedback, please email info@westcoastfamilies.com.
WestCoast Families is proud to have been selected as a mom-friendly employer for the 2010 Progressive Employers of Canada List. And congratulations to our fellow inductees!
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westcoast finds Cool Local Store! Bird on a Wire Creations recently opened on Main Street in Vancouver. The store practices the “100-mile-diet” when it comes to art, showcasing the creations of artists and artisans from within 100 miles. In turn, those artists will be running workshops for people interested in learning new art and craft techniques or just wanting to find a community of like-minded souls. 2535 Main St | www.birdonawirecreations.com
Brain School by Howard Eaton This new book from the founder and director of Eaton Arrowsmith School tells the story of how children with learning disabilities such as Dyslexia, Nonverbal Learning Disabilities and ADHD overcame educational obstacles by reorganizing their brains. Known as neuroplasticity, this reorganization involves a regimen of cognitive exercises. These, in turn alter the brain’s neuronal structure and reorganize neural networks and their function. Brain School explores how applying principles of neuroplasticity has helped thousands of children with learning disabilities and attention disorders improve their cognitive functioning capacities. As a result, many are able to function without additional support in school and in cases with ADHD, without medication. SRP $22.40
Money Saver Are you “the family IT manager” who must keep the family’s PC running smoothly and free of errors, crashes, freezes, etc? System Mechanic to the rescue! It is a technician in a box that fixes all PC issues and speeds it up automatically. It also “anti-ages” a PC by reversing years of use and bringing it back to its youthful days, extremely useful in a back-to-school scenario, delaying the need to buy a new PC by many years.
www.iolo.com
wcf presents ABC Family Literacy Day January 27, 2011 | Nationwide Family Literacy Day®, an annual event developed by ABC Life Literacy Canada in 1999, shines the spotlight on lifelong learning at any age. Held annually on January 27, Family Literacy Day encourages Canadians to spend at least 15 minutes a day enjoying a learning activity together as a family. In 2011, learning is made fun again with Canadians from coast-to-coast encouraged to Play for Literacy with board games, card games and self-directed activities to name just a few. Enjoyed as a family, with your neighbours or even in the workplace, play-centered learning is a great way to keep engagement and learning opportunities happening each day. www.familyliteracyday.ca
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contests
Enter to win any of these great prizes online at www.westcoastfamilies.com!
WIN! Four (4) VIP tickets to Royal Winnipeg Ballet’s Wonderland (Value $370) WIN! One of TWO Family Prize Packs to Alice, the Mad Hatter, and the Queen of Hearts are just some of the familiar Chor Leoni’s Kidz Koncert! (Value $100 each) characters that have become a beloved part of every childhood thanks to Lewis Carroll’s classic tale, Alice in Wonderland. The Vancouver premiere of Wonderland, playing from March 24 to 27, will take you to a topsy-turvy world of startling sights and strange sounds. This enthralling adventure down the rabbit hole will entertain the entire family with its wit, wacky humour and engaging, original dance. Tickets available at www.ticketmaster.ca. WIN four (4) VIP tickets (including a backstage tour!) to a performance of Wonderland on Saturday, March 26, at the Centre in Vancouver for the Performing Arts. Deadline to Enter: February 23, 2011
Lullabies, counting songs, learning songs, fun songs: In every culture, children’s music has been used to soothe, teach and entertain. Kids Koncerts is an exploration of children’s music and stories from around the world, all sung in grown up style to appeal to the kid in all of us. Expect fun, stories, and readings from the amazing children’s author (and Vancouver resident), Robert Heidbreder. It’s a concert that will appeal to everyone—and blankies are welcome! Robert Heidbreder has enchanted children with his joyful poems and rhymes for more than two decades and is the author of Eenie Meenie Manitoba and Drumheller Dinosaur Dance. WIN a family pack of four tickets to the Saturday, March 19 performance, plus Chor Leoni’s CD of Canadian folk songs, Canadian Safari. For more info, call 604.263.7061 or visit www.chorleoni.org. Deadline to Enter: February 15, 2011
WIN! This Amazing Art Prize Pack from 4Cats Arts Studios! (Value $150) 4Cats Art Studios offer classes and workshops for kids and adults of all ages, as well as birthday parties and gallery events! WIN this fabulous prize of professional-quality art supplies, including: three 4Cats paintbrushes; 4Cats mini paint jars; artist palette; desktop easel; two 11x14 canvas boards; 4Cats Craft Sculpey the Bird Polymer Clay Kit (contains six blocks of polymer clay plus clay tool); four 4Cats Print Art Books (Andy Warhol, Vincent van Gogh, Tom Thomson and Michelangelo); 4Cats 100% cotton bag, emblazoned with the 4Cats “Soup Can” logo; $20 gift certificate for 4Cats Arts Studio; copy of 4Cats Magazine Winter; two 100% cotton 4Cats t-shirts. www.4cats.com Deadline to Enter: February 23, 2011
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wcf feature
Lights! Camera! Action!
Advice for parents who are interested in helping their children work in film and television By Carole Tarlington
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our child is cute, outgoing and loves to act. You think maybe you should put them in the movie business. My advice? Think hard! It is true that there are many opportunities in Vancouver for young people in the film and television industry but here are some things to consider before taking that leap: Family Considerations: Whose idea is it? Remarkably, in my 28 years in the industry, I have met fiveyear-olds who know that acting is what they want to do. Those young actors have been very successful. If it’s all the parent’s idea, you don’t know if they have the interest or the stamina to actually do this job and, yes, it is a job. A demanding job. Be aware that if you put your child into the movies, you are putting them in the workforce. Once your child has an agent and is going out for auditions, someone in the family has to have the time to devote to their career. It is similar to having a sports champion in the family in that a parent has to be on top of schedules, photographs, appointments with agents, auditions, coaching, etc. Someone has to do all the driving and all the organization, as well as chaperoning your child if she gets cast. If you have two or more children who are in the industry, consider what will happen if one begins to be successful and the others aren’t. You may find yourself in the middle of resentment and jealousy from the other children who aren’t successful. One successful young actor I worked with had a sister who wanted to act as well, but she never got cast. It took these two sisters until they were adults to heal the rift that occurred between them because of this. School Considerations: Auditions and film shoots happen during school hours. Young actors miss school and are under pressure to keep up their school work. Most elementary school teachers think it is “neat” that children are in the industry. However, secondary teachers are often not so tolerant and there are more of them to deal with. If your child is on set over three days, they can have a tutor, but the responsibility to get the work from the school for the tutor to supervise is yours. This is relatively easy at elementary level, but at the secondary level you have to deal with five or more teachers, some of whom may not be not supportive. If you have considered all these factors and still want to go ahead, you should enrol your child in a good acting program that emphasizes acting for the camera. Spending time learning the basics of how to prepare the work, how to audition and what is expected on set will help you and your child decide whether this work is for them. Research the classes offered in your area. Knowing whether they focus on camera acting or the stage is important, as well as the qualifications of the program instructors and the reputation of the studio. Getting an Agent: “How do I get an agent?” is one of the most frequently asked questions, along with, “Do you need an agent to work in the industry?”The answer is “yes.” Getting an agent is not simple. It requires research on the parent’s part. Use the internet, speak with other parents, teachers, and any people you know in the industry. Most reputable agents have websites with information on what type of agency they are and how to apply for representation from them. Spending time doing the research will pay off for you in the long run. Take time in choosing an agent. In B.C., the government requires an agent to be licensed. However, that is not a guarantee that the agent is reputable.
People seeking to open an agency only have to pay $750 for a licence. There is no police check involved. This is why research is absolutely vital. Agents make their money when their clients get a job. In Canada, the industry standard is 15% of your gross earnings. If any agency insists you have your photos taken from their photographer, or take classes from their teachers, beware, they may really be in the business of selling classes and photography, rather than being reputable agents. Caution is key. The most important piece of advice I can offer parents is to take the time to gain knowledge about the industry before jumping into it with your child. Well-informed parents do not get scammed and, unfortunately, there are scams operating all the time. It is easy, it seems, to prey on the dreams of young people and their parents’ aspirations for them. If someone approaches you in the street or in a mall and offers to represent your child, you should Google them with the word “scam” next to their name. You might be surprised to find that that person or company has many lawsuits against them all over North America. How Scams Work: A company typically comes to a city and runs print ads and radio spots announcing an open call for a Disney Channel or Nickelodeon show being held somewhere in town. The impression they give is that the child is auditioning for an agent or a casting director, but it always ends up that they want you to pay for classes, photos, or a showcase. In the initial “audition” they will decide whether you have the money to pay and, if they feel you can, they will call you back and tell you that out of the 500 young people they “auditioned,” your child was the best. For the uninformed, this is very seductive indeed and, pretty soon, they have you signed up for classes that are very expensive and of poor quality. Although you have to exercise caution, there are many positives to working in the industry. Young people gain confidence and poise when training for camera acting. Through working with scenes from films they vicariously experience people’s feelings and learn about other situations, helping them to develop empathy and understanding of themselves and others. This stands them in good stead no matter what profession they end up pursuing. If they are cast in a project, they work with highly creative and interesting people who can broaden their understanding of the world. And, of course, the money is good or, as a teen actor recently put it succinctly, “It’s better than working at MacDonald’s!” Carole Tarlington has worked in the film and television industry for over 25 years. A former agent and casting director, she operates Tarlington Training Inc., a studio that trains young actors for film and television. Many of Vancouver’s most successful actors have been trained by her studio.
Some Helpful Websites www.labour.gov.bc.ca/talent Outlines the government regulations regarding agencies and the fees that performers can be charged. www.ubcp.com The official website of the Union of British Columbia Performers (UBCP). www.actorsguide.com Contains actors’ information and forums. www.bizparentz.org An American website with lots of information that is relevant to the industry in Canada.
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dance & theatre school listings in your area See ad in this issue.
ABBOTSFORD/LANGLEY/ WHITE ROCK Arthur Murray Kids’ Dance Ballroom. 604.542.1900 | www.arthurmurraydance.ca Creative Edge School of Art Theatre, musical theatre, ballet, jazz, tap, modern. 604.855.3343 | www.creativeedgebc.com Fusion Force Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, acro, lyrical. 604.533.1863 | www.fusionforce.ca Langley Dance Academy Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop. 604.881.1446 | www.langleydanceacademy.com Lisa’s School of Dance Jazz, ballet, lyrical, tap, hip hop, musical theatre. 604.533.2327 | www.danceatlisas.com
COQUITLAM/PORT COQUITLAM/PORT MOODY ABC Let’s Act Acting for stage and film. 604.505.4576 | www.abcletsact.com Acting for Teens Film and television acting. 604.771.5095 | www.acting4teens.com Broadway Bound Performing Arts Studio Musical theatre. 604.464.2800 | www.broadwayboundstudio.ca Capa Dance & Drama School Musical theatre, acting, singing, acro, jazz, ballet, tap, hip hop, lyrical, modern. 604.464.6487 | www.capadance.ca Caulfield School of Dance Folk, ethnic, modern, ballet. 604.469.9366 | www.caulfield.bc.ca
Spiral Dance Company Jazz, ballet, tap, hip hop, lyrical. 604.541.2800 | spiraldance.ca
Encore Dance Academy Ballet, jazz, acro, hip hop, tap, musical theatre, lyrical, modern. 604.468.7400 | www.encoredanceacademy.ca
Studio One Dance Center Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, musical theatre. 604.856.0400 | www.studioonedancecenter.ca
Lindbjerg Academy of Performing Arts Musical theatre, acting, dance. 604.777.2211 | www.lindbjergacademy.com
Young at Arts Dance, theatre, musical theatre. 604.533.2787 | www.youngatarts.ca
Port Moody School of Dance Ballet, contemporary, hip hop, jazz, lyrical, musical theatre, stage, tap. 604.936.0966 | www.portmoodydance.com
BURNABY/NEW WESTMINSTER
RICHMOND
VANCOUVER
Burke Academy of Dance Ballet, modern, jazz, tap, hip hop. 604.271.1271 | www.burkedance.net
Arts Umbrella Acting for theatre and film, ballet, jazz, flamenco, modern. 604.681.5268 | www.artsumbrella.com
Defy Gravity Dance Company Ballet, jazz, hip hop, musical theatre, tap. 604.272.0808 | www.defygravitydance.ca Gabriela’s Movement Studio Ballet, creative movement. 604.272.0607 | www.movementstudio.ca Gateway Theatre Academy Acting, musical theatre, voice. 604.247.4975 | gatewaytheatre.com Richmond Academy of Dance Ballet, modern, musical theatre, jazz, hip hop, tap. 604.278.7816 | richmondacademyofdance.com StageCoach Theatre Arts School Drama, dance, voice. 604.537.3669 | stagecoachschools.ca Urban Dance Co. Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, Bollywood, Bhangra, Polynesian, Irish, street dance. 604.277.4494 | www.urbandanceco.com Vancouver Academy of Dance Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, Chinese, national dance. 604.231.8293 | vancouverdance.com World of Music and Arts Musical theatre. 604.809.5730 | worldofmusicandarts.com
Precision Dance Academy Jazz, ballet, tap, hip hop, lyrical, production. 604.939.8277 | www.precisiondance.ca
SURREY/DELTA
PITT MEADOWS/ MAPLE RIDGE
Academy of Music and Dance Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, musical theatre. 604.951.3725 | www.musicanddance.org
The ACT Maple Ridge Theatre, dance, art, music. 604.476.2787 | www.theactmapleridge.org
Dance West Ballet, jazz, lyrical, tap, musical theatre, hip hop. 604.591.5753 | www.dancewest.ca
Dance Addicts Studio Break, salsa, tango, hip hop, social dance for teens and adults. 604.830.1326 | danceaddicts.ca
The Art of Dance Studio Ballet, tap, jazz, acro, hip hop, lyrical dance. 604.463.0304 | www.theartofdancestudio.ca
EJS School of Fine Arts Acting, dance, musical theatre. 604.596.4883 | www.ejsfinearts.com
The Dance Matrix Tap, jazz, ballet, break, hip hop, musical theatre. 778.397.0934 | www.thedancematrix.webs.com
CentreStage Dance Jazz, ballet, tap, hip hop, salsa, musical theatre, acro. 604.465.6681 | www.centrestagedance.com
Flamenco del Mar Flamenco, Spanish dance. 604.542.2096 | www.flamencodelmar.com
Anmara Dance Company Middle Eastern, Indian, Cuban, African, Brazilian dance. 604.526.8330 | www.ammara.ca Boswell Dance Academy Ballet, jazz, hip hop, tap, musical theatre. 604.522.4424 | www.boswelldance.com
Dance With Me Studio Ballroom, ballet, hip hop. 604.521.2772 | www.dancewithmenewwest.com Dancin’ Stars Bhangra, ballet, folk, break, hip hop, acro. 604.524.3516 | www.dancinstars.com Danzmode Productions Ballet, jazz, modern. 604.294.4677 | danzmodeproductions.com Kids in Motion Ballet, hip hop, tap, jazz, parent participation music and dance. 604.970.7945 | www.kids-inmotion.ca Spotlight Dance Centre Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, musical theatre, voice. 604.299.6111 | spotlightdancecentre.com Theatrix Youtheatre Society Singing, dancing, acting, acrobatics, choreography, playwriting. www.theatrixyoutheatre.com
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Fabulous Feet School of Dance Jazz, tap, acro, ballet and hip hop. 604.467.9846 | fabulousfeet.ca Hill Academy of Dance & Performing Arts Dance, musical theatre, acting, singing. 604.460.1555 | hillacademy.ca The Kauhane School of Polynesian Dance Hawaiian, Tahitian, Maori, Samoan and other Polynesian island dance. 604.466.0763 | www.hulaspirit.com Maple Ridge Dance Circle Ballet, jazz, tap, acro, musical theatre, street dance, flamenco. 604.463.0922 | mapleridgedancecircle.com Peggy Peat School of Dance Acting, musical theatre, acro, ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop. 604.465.6636 | www.ppsdance.ca
Free Flight Dance Ballet, jazz, lyrical, tap, hip hop, musical theatre. 604.946.8586 | www.freeflightdance.com Just for Kicks School of Dance Acro, ballet, cheer, Irish, hip hop, jazz, musical theatre. 604.596.4161 | www.justforkicksschoolofdance.com Kids Only Acting Classes Acting for film and TV. 778.378.9103 | www.kidsonlyacting.com Panorama Dance Ballet, jazz, lyrical, hip hop, tap, stage, contemporary. 604.599.4011 | www.panoramadance.com Surrey Dance Centre Acro, ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, musical theatre. 604.599.9961 | www.surreydancecentre.com
Biz Studio Acting for screen. 604.801.7050 | www.bizstudio.ca Blue Egg Entertainment Acting, singing, ballet, hip hop, tap, jazz, broadway, salsa. 604.569.0326 | www.blueeggentertainment.com Carousel Theatre School Acting for stage. 604.669.3410 | www.carouseltheatre.ca Dance Co. Ballet, jazz, tap, acro, hip hop, lyrical, break. 604.736.3394 | www.danceco.com Goh Ballet Academy Ballet, contemporary, Chinese dance, jazz. 604.872.4014 | www.gohballet.com Pacific Dance Arts Ballet, jazz, modern, hip hop. 604.738.8575 | www.pacificdancearts.ca StageCoach Theatre Arts School Drama, dance, voice. 877.787.8243 | stagecoachschools.ca
NORTH SHORE Anna Wyman School of Dance Ballet, jazz, musical theatre, hip hop, flamenco. 604.926.6535 | www.annawyman.com The First Step Actors’ Workshop Acting for children, teens and adults. 604.987.5047 | www.firststepactors.com North Shore Academy of Dancing Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, modern, tap, lyrical. 604.987.3814 | www.nsad.ca OneDance Creative Art Centre Ballet, jazz, modern, tap, Irish, hip hop. 604.987.8747 | www.onedance.ca Perform Art Studios Ballet, jazz, musical theatre, hip hop, tap, contemporary. 604.723.4594 | www.performartstudios.com RNB Dance Ballet, jazz, modern, tap, hip hop, acro, break, musical theatre. 604.980.3040 | www.rnbdance.ca Seymour Dance Ballet, hip hop, capoeira, jazz, modern, Irish, tap, musical theatre. 604.929.6060 | www.seymourdance.com Vanleena Dance Academy Ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, musical theatre. 604.983.2623 | www.vanleena.com
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wcf feature
Brain Plasticity By Gillian Liebrandt
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rain plasticity, also called neuroplasticity, is a term that has seen much use in the last several years. So what is brain plasticity? The Wikipedia online dictionary defines neuroplasticity as meaning that “entire brain structures can change to better cope with the environment. Specifically, when an area of the brain is damaged and non-functional, another area may take over some of the function.” The brain is not static but responds to new learning, stimulation and circumstances. Our brains are able to change physically. Neural connections can be strengthened and developed or weakened and severed. Every time we learn something new we are strengthening and growing new connections. We used to believe that the brain was static and that behaviours, abilities or disabilities were all hardwired into the brain. Research over the past 20 years has proven that this is not the way our brains work. The book The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge, MD, is full of examples of individuals who have been able to recover from strokes, brain injury resulting in disabilities, and a woman who was born with half a brain. She is not what one might typically expect for someone with only a left hemisphere. She is able to speak, hold a job, and has a sense of humour. Her right hemisphere reorganized itself to take over what the nonexistent left “should” have been doing. But the brain does not only change in extreme situations like this—that is how it normally works. That is its modus operandi from cradle to grave. Neuroplasticity does not consist of a single type of morphological change, but rather includes several different processes that occur throughout an individual’s lifetime. Many types of brain cells are involved in neuroplasticity, including neurons, glia, and vascular cells. Plasticity, learning and memory For a long time, it was believed that as we aged the connections in the brain became fixed. Research has shown that, in fact, the brain never stops changing. Plasticity IS the capacity of the brain to change with learning. Changes associated with learning occur mostly at the level of the connections between neurons. New connections can form and the internal structure of the existing synapses can change. Our brains are composed of different areas and functions, and we can strengthen them through mental exercise—or they become atrophied from lack of practice. The benefits are both short-term (improved concentration and memory, sustained mental clarity under stressful situations) and long-term. Did you know that when you become an expert in a specific domain, the areas in your brain that deal with this type of skill will grow?
What does this mean for the average person? How does this affect the child with learning difficulties, such as Dyslexia, ADHD, ADD or the autistic child? How does it affect the individual who has suffered brain damage due to an accident or a stroke? The brain and neurological systems develop in response to stimulation during normal development. For many environmental or medical reasons this development is often delayed in some children, resulting in learning and other related difficulties. Scientifically designed brain-based programs target specific brain machinery to change, develop and improve everyday brain function. On your own, you may be unlikely to find the correct stimulation or exercises to target the brain problem. However, with efficient, clinically proven programs that can change the brain, you are likely to find courses of treatment for various brain-based challenges. There are many success stories of children whose lives have been forever changed because their parents understood that the brain can change. Kevin is one such child. Kevin was a fourth grade student, who had been in a reading program for three years. His parents were paying for tutoring to help him learn to read, but he was still at about a first grade reading level. They enrolled him in a 20 week brain-based program and, after only 13 weeks, Kevin was reading at grade level with fluency and expression. His mom commented that even his behaviour had changed; he was a happier child and was no longer having angry outbursts. If your child is having trouble learning or has a diagnosis of a learning disability, consider a course of action that will actually address the cause of the problem in the brain. Remember that the brain has plasticity and can change. Gillian Liebrandt has a Masters in special education and is director of Millennium Learning Advantage. She has over 40 years of experience working with children and has spent the last 15 years doing “brain” based programs with children and young adults.
Helpful Resources ADNC Neurofeedback Centre of BC | www.neurofeedbackclinic.ca Eaton Arrowsmith School | www.eatonarrowsmithschool.com Millenium Learning Advantage | www.milleniumlearningadvantage.com
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wcf feature
Early Learning & Social Development By Amy Fardell
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study recently released by UBC’s Human Early Learning Partnership (HELP) found that almost one-third of all students entering kindergarten in B.C. are behind in key areas—and many of these never catch up. It’s a disturbing statistic, to say the least. The results are based on neighbourhood data collected directly from B.C. public school kindergarten teachers by HELP in four waves over the last 10 years, and shows that child vulnerability is a growing trend. Surprisingly, of the five key indicators used in the study to judge success, only two (language and communications) are academically-based. The other three cover social, emotional and physical development. And this is reflected in the data on neighbourhoods where child vulnerability has actually diminished, rather than increased. The researchers found several key points that helped create positive outcomes, including: strong community engagement with an ongoing commitment of key community leaders across key sectors to work together over the long-term; programming and support focused on families
that reduces barriers to quality programs; and school system leadership where programs are integrated and schools act as one-stop child and family hubs. As parents, there are many ways we can help our children flourish socially. A focus on positive thinking is key, as is the ability to create and accept alternatives when it comes to playtime or social activities. Also, most importantly, play with your child in a “peer-like” way. In other words, don’t admonish or criticize how your child plays, but feel free to give lots of suggestions and ask questions. This gives children confidence in their own decisions, while encouraging dialogue and exploring options. Also, talk to—not at—your children frequently about social relationships and values, and take a problem-solving approach to disappointments or feelings of rejection. And don’t be afraid to endorse positive strategies for how to improve interaction in future. For more information on HELP and its research, visit www.earlylearning.ubc.ca.
Education & TV While many parents were recently disappointed to discover that their toddlers would not grow up to become astronauts simply by watching the Baby Einstein DVD series, there is still reason to take heart in children’s television entertainment. While no one is advocating that TV be the teacher, the fact is that most children watch a minimum of two hours of TV per week, so it’s good to know your options. New shows like The Wot Wots and Team Umizoomi encourage curiousity, interactive viewing, and teach problem-solving and deductive reasoning.
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The Wot Wots revolves around two eco-friendly aliens who land in a real-life zoo, and explore the animals and visitors. Kindness and cooperation are key values, as are learning new words and exploring creativity through drawing. Team Umizoomi is an animated series that focuses on the viewer using their “Mighty Math Powers” to solve problems in order to keep Umi City running smoothly. Dirt Girl is another one to check out. This gumboot-wearing animated character grows awesome tomatoes, drives a big orange tractor and knows how to set up a water conservation system like no one else. The show also incorporates real-life children in their own gardens. Just don’t forget to actually get outside once in a while, too!
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January/February 2011
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early learning listings See ad in this issue.
ABBOTSFORD/MISSION Cedar Valley Montessori 604.826.0317 | cedarvalleymontessori.ca Little Wonders Montessori Preschool & Daycare Centre 604.853.9998 Mission Montessori Preschool 604.287.0120 | ourmontessorischool.org MSA Montessori Preschool 604.820.4987 | msamontessoripreschool.com Upper Fraser Valley Developmental Preschool 604.859.1436 upperfraservalleypreschool.homestead.com
BURNABY Brentwood Montessori Preschool & Kindergarten 604.294.2671 Bright Star Montessori 604.790.3503 Cambridge Montessori Children’s House 604.299.5676 CEFA 604.568.8808 | cefa.ca Garden Village Parent Participation Preschool 604.431.7724 Hillview Parent Participation Preschool 604.431.0119 | hillviewpreschool.ca Kensington Montessori Child Care 604.298.5951 | kensingtonmontessori.com Pied Piper Parent Participation Preschool 604.524.0833 | piedpiperppp.com
Kiddies’ Korner Parent Participation Preschool 604.941.4919 | kkp.ca Little Neighbours Parent Participation Preschool 604.521.5158 | littleneighbours.com Monkey’s Playhouse Early Learning Childcare Centre 604.941.6866 | monkeysplayhouse.ca PoCo Happy Times Parent Participation Preschool 604.941.8286 Precious Minds Montessori 604.516.7777 | precious-minds.com Queens Park Parent Participation Preschool 604.526.1153 | qpps.ca Rainbow House Preschool 604.945.2727 littlerainbowhousepreschool.com Somewhere to Grow Montessori 604.517.0241 | somewheretogrow.com Sunshine Montessori Preschool 604.515.5398 White Swan Montessori 604.931.7926
LANGLEY CEFA 604.881.2332 | cefa.ca Happy Hours Parent Participation Preschool 604.888.8555 | happyhourspreschool.bc.ca Langley Developmental Preschool 604.534.1155 Pathway Montessori 604.644.7547 | pathwaymontessori.com
Rainbow Parent Participation Preschool 604.439.0033 | rainbowppp.ca
Pioneer Montessori Centre 604.539.2222
South Burnaby Parent Participation Preschool 604.831.0783 | southburnabypreschool.com
Sunflower Montessori Preschool 604.513.0070
Yu’s Montessori School in Burnaby 604.617.8646 | yusmontessori.com
COQUITLAM/ PORT COQUITLAM/ NEW WESTMINSTER Baker’s Corner Parent Participation Preschool 604.461.5848 | bakerscornerpreschool.com Bramblewood Montessori Preschool 604.942.5430 Children of Integrity Montessori School 604.461.1223 | childrenofintegrity.com
MAPLE RIDGE/PORT MOODY Garden Gate Montessori 604.466.5722 | gardengatemontessori.ca Monkey’s Playhouse Early Learning Childcare Centre 604.465.5582 | monkeysplayhouse.ca Montessori Corner 604.466.5681 | montessoricorner.ca Westwood Montessori 604.942.3688
RICHMOND
Como Lake Parent Participation Preschool 604.936.3959 | comolakepreschool.com
Butterfly Progressive Montessori Preschool 604.241.2511 | butterflymontessori.ca
CEFA (Coquitlam) 604.315.6020 | cefa.ca
CEFA 604.275.2332 | cefa.ca
CEFA (New Westminster) 604.777.0053 | cefa.ca
Cherry Blossom Montessori 604.271.1003 | cherryblossommontessori.com
Graham Montessori Preschool 778.397.0191
Earth Child Montessori 604. 270.0131 | earthchildmontessori.com Gingerbread House Parent Participation Preschool 604.204.1008 | gingerbreadhousepreschool.org
Little People’s Parent Participation Preschool 604.261.2219 | littlepeople.ca Little Sprout Preschool 604.257.8346
Harvest Montessori Preschool and Daycare 604.278.6228 | harvestmontessori.net
Marenza’s Montessori Preschool & Kindergarten 604.871.0620 | marzenacenter.com
Mews Montessori Preschool 604.522.1351
Children’s Hearing and Speech Centre 604.437.0255 | deafeducationcentre.org
Pacific Rim Montessori Academy 604.726.8428 | prma.ca
Pacific Rim Montessori Academy 604.726.8428 | prma.ca
True Light Progressive Montessori Preschool 604.228.9893
St. Giles Parent Participation Preschool 604.325.0114 | stgilespreschool.ca
SURREY/DELTA Boundary Bay Montessori 604.946.9814 | bbmh.com Li’l Rascals Parent Participation Preschool 604.940.9906 | lilrascals.ca North Delta Parent Participation Preschool 604.878.4800 | northdeltappp.com Somewhere to Grow Montessori 778.578.0329 | somewheretogrow.com Sunshine Hills Parent Participation Preschool 604.596.2515 | sunshine-hills.com
VANCOUVER Bayview Parent Participation Preschool 604.313.4992 | bayviewppp.com Brainbridge Bilingual Preschool 604.322.6830 | brainbridge.ca Casa Dei Bambini Child Care & Montessori Preschool 604.922.4229 CEFA 604.879.2332 | cefa.ca Crown Parent Participation Preschool 604.228.1316 | crownpreschool.ca Dunbar Memorial Parent Participation Preschool 604.222.6065 | dunbarmemorialpreschool.ca Family Montessori School Society 604.731.8810 | familymontessori.com Happy Corner Parent Participation Preschool 604.433.7923 | happycorner.ca Ray-Cam Co-operative Centre Preschool 604.257.6949 | raycam.org l’ile Aux Oiseaux Preschool 604.725.4017 Little Ark Preschool 604.222.1318 | littlearkpreschool.com Little Cedar Montessori Preschool 604.872.3303 | littlecedar.ca Little Mountain Neighbourhood House 604.876.0517 | www.lmnhs.bc.ca Little Mountain Montessori 604.709.9621
Tom Thumb Parent Participation Preschool 604.222.2550 | tomthumbpreschool.ca Wesbrook Parent Participation Preschool 604.224.3112 | wesbrookpreschool.com Westside Montessori 604.434.9611 | westsidemontessoriacademy.ca Vancouver Bilingual Preschool 604.261.1221 | vancouverbilingual.com Vancouver Montessori School 604.261.0315 vancouvermontessorischool.com Vancouver Waldorf School 604.985.7435 | vws.ca Yaletown Montessori 604.732.6640 | yaletownmontessori.com
NORTH SHORE CEFA (North Vancouver) 604.929.2332 | cefa.ca CEFA (West Vancouver) 604.913.7713 | cefa.ca Collingwood School 604.925.3331 | collingwood.org Deep Cove Parent Participation Preschool 604.929.6610 | deepcoveppp.com Grand Boulevard Parent Participation Preschool 604.987.2294 | gbppp.com Great Beginnings Child Development Centre 604.990.1085 Inglewood Parent Participation Preschool 604.925.1888 | inglewoodppp.ca Jack and Jill Parent Participation Preschool 604.886.9417 | jackandjillpreschool.ca Lynn Valley Parent Participation Preschool 604.985.5512 | lvppp.org North Star Montessori 604.980.1205 | northstarmontessori.ca Seymour Heights Parent Participation Preschool 604.929.1813 | seymourheightspreschool.com
January/February 2011
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early learning listings Upper Lonsdale Parent Participation Preschool 604.988.8710 | upperlonsdalepreschool.com
RESOURCES Academic Advantage 604.439.1790 | schooliseasy.com Burnaby Hearing Centre 604.432.6696 | burnabyhearingcentre.com Centre for Child Development 604.533.3088 | centreforchilddevelopment.ca Conseil scholaire francophone de la Colombie-Britannique 604.214.2600 | csf.bc.ca
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Council of Parent Participation Preschools in BC 604.435.4430 | 800.488.0660 cpppreschools.bc.ca Developmental Disabilities Association 604.273.9778 | develop.bc.ca Focus on the Learning 604.600.4926 | focusonthelearning.com Kumon 800.222.6284 | kumon.ca Millenium Learning Advantage 604.461.3330 milleniumlearningadvantage.com
Reach Child and Youth Development Society 604.946.6622 | reachdevelopment.org Richmond Speech and Hearing Clinic 604.270.9300 The Shorty List theshortylist.ca Small Talk BC 604.872.3132 | smalltalkbc.org Step-by-Step Child Development Society step-by-step.ca
Oxford Learning oxfordlearning.com
Surrey Association of Early Childhood Education 604.576.4434
Semiahmoo Speech Services 778.574.1118 | semispeech.com
StrongStart BC bced.gov.bc.ca/early_learning/strongstart_bc
Sylvan Learning Centre 800.338.2283 | sylvanbc.ca Summit Learning Centre 604.820.3333 | summitlearningcentre.ca UBC School of Audiology and Speech Sciences 604.822.5591 | audiospeech.ubc.ca Western Institute for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing 604.736.7391 | widhh.com YMCA Early Childhood Preschool Programs vanymca.org YWCA Childcare and Early Learning Options ywcavan.org
wcf feature
The Secret Language of Parents By Wendy Helfenbaum
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t was pretty darn close to my little guy’s bedtime. Actually, I just wished it was. Hubby and I were exhausted after a long day of chasing him up and down the street as he biked à la Lance Armstrong. I picked up my iPhone and typed: Think he’d notice if we told him it was bedtime RIGHT NOW? I texted the message to my husband, sprawled on the sofa all of three feet away. Ping! He read my text, burst out laughing and shook his head. “Nice try,” he said. And just like that, I discovered the perfect way to communicate when I wanted to stay incognito. Spelling has always been out of the question; hubby’s not a great speller. Speaking French used to work like a charm when we had private things to say to each other, but now that our son is learning the language, that method wouldn’t fly for long. Welcome to the digital age Social media strategist and mom of two Lisa McKenzie says today’s parents, faced with increasingly curious children, need to find new ways to connect with each other, out of range of tiny, little “big ears” that hang on to our every word. McKenzie often texts her husband, even when they’re in the same house. “We do this all the time, and I think parents that have a handle on technology will use it for any shortcuts,” says McKenzie, the co-author of the Facebook Guide for Parents. “If I ask my daughters to leave the room because Mommy and Daddy want to talk, they’ll be listening in, because they know that if they can’t be privy to it, then it’s so juicy that they need to know.” After her girls learned to speak French, McKenzie and her husband switched to pig Latin, but “my older daughter is too wise; if you listen attentively, you can still figure out what people are saying. Now, we speak in code and use eye signals.” They’re smarter than we are McKenzie adds that for really private conversations, including romantic ones, texting is a great option if you’re not the parent of a techno-whiz. But it’s not kid-proof. “Technology does work, but my nine-year old can navigate an iPhone like nobody’s business. Last week, we got caught. My husband was in New York for the week, and I’d been texting him ideas for what he could buy the girls. My daughter asked to borrow my iPhone; I thought she was
playing games, but she was reading our texts,” she recalls. “The key is to use an app, and not instant text messaging. If your message is hidden behind an app, you’re rocking. You could also use personal messaging on Facebook, but I wouldn’t want to be writing sexy messages to my husband on Facebook. You don’t know where that’s going to land, and it’s your digital footprint. You have to be extremely careful.” It’s practical, too! Pat Ramos, a father of three kids aged 13, eight and five, has been texting since he bought his first smartphone two years ago. Ramos loves that texting is “instant and fun. You can easily multitask: have a conversation and text at the same time. I’ll text my 13-year-old daughter to come down for dinner, do her chores and even to turn the music down,” he notes. “One time, she left her dinner plate on the table, so I took a picture of it with my phone and sent it to her as an instant message, as a gentle reminder. The plate made it to the dishwasher shortly thereafter. Texting is a great tool for parents.” While Ramos and his wife Sonja don’t rely on text messaging when they’re both at home, “we do have friends who use texting and Facebook to communicate with each other while they’re in the same building.” Kerry Meegan and her husband Julio, parents of two kids with another on the way, have been doing so since 2007, because “it’s fast and direct; most people carry their cells on them. I text my hubby or he texts me while we’re in the same place if one of us is stepping out of the house and the other person is busy with the kids,” she says. Old-fashioned talking Still craving some real face time with your honey far away from your little ones’ ears? McKenzie praises play areas for kids. “They’re the best place to have conversations, because your kids don’t want to be with you when they can play on those gigantic structures,” she explains. “I’ve met people who say it’s the only place where they can talk; they go at least once a week.” Wendy Helfenbaum is a writer and television producer at www.taketwoproductions.ca.
Yaletown Montessori now open.
515 Helmcken at Richards • 1079 Richards St. Vancouver’s ONLY full day Montessori with 3 programs: Pre-school - 3hrs • Extended day - 5hrs • Full day-8am to 5pm
To pre-register use our website
Yaletownmontessori.com Tel: 604.732.6640 January/February 2011
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wcf feature
Toddler RV Safari
A trip down the I-5 to the Sun State By Andrea Vance Deciding to head south for our annual September RV trip, we thought that the highlight of our trip would be our two-and-a-half-year-old daughter’s face as she saw Mickey Mouse for the first time at Disneyland, or saw a whale jump out of the water at SeaWorld. We were surprised to discover that although there were great moments at the big parks, it was the little places and moments that really made our trip something special. If you’re wondering whether your family with toddlers is ready for the California road trip, read on!
O
ne of the first interesting stops we found was the Wildlife Safari in Winston, Oregon, about three hours south of Portland. This is a drivethru safari park, but we were looking for a chance to stretch our legs and have some lunch. An RV trailer would have made the drive thru experience more limited, and the dog would have had to stay in a self-serve kennel. So we opted for the free petting zoo and park that gave us hours of activities that entertained all of us, and provided a lot of photo opportunities. Camels, monkeys, llamas, porcupines, and more can be seen here without paying a dime. Day four took us right around LA and to the coast of California. We pulled into Huntington Beach in the evening to find three options on RV sites, all either on or near the beach. We planned to stay here for a few days of fun in the sun and sand, so beach access was essential. Many RV’ers here bring bikes, which would have been very convenient. Although Huntington Beach has changed drastically from the small surf town it was just a short 20 years ago, it is still a vibrant beach town with great shopping, restaurants, surfing, and
beach going. The huge white sand dog beach was our favourite day here—all of us together, surrounded by so many other dogs and families enjoying the surf and sand for the day. Heaven! After two more days we were heading further south, and decided this was a good transition day to hit Disneyland. We knew that this would be a fairly short day at the park with the toddler and the dog, and that was fine with us. In typical Disney style, there is a dog kennel onsite right near the entrance—perfect for this day that was too hot to leave the pup in the RV. Be sure to have your dog’s vaccines up to date, and paperwork on hand! The hot weather also meant that ice cream for lunch was perfectly appropriate. This was a Monday in September, which was a great time to visit the park. There were far fewer visitors there, and this allowed us to cover a much greater area than normal—and virtually no waiting in line. We found the Fantasyland area very well suited for toddlers—It’s a Small World, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, the carousel and the castle. No line-ups meant that we could obey when the
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little one excitedly commanded “again, again!” The park can be very overwhelming and tiring for a toddler, so we found that a half-day visit was plenty for all of us. Heading south, we found a great family RV park in San Diego right on the water and enjoyed a “rest” day before heading to the 9/4/07 9:26 PM Page 1 famous SeaWorld. We did read rules about bringing in outside water bottles, but they allowed our refillable bottle no problem. There is a lot of commercialism going on here that we didn’t expect, like Sesame Street and Elmo, but avoiding those areas was pretty easy. The Dolphin show was a spectacle with lots of Cirque de Soleil type performers, and some dolphin jumps and tricks. The Shamu show was Hollywood style with lot of promotion about SeaWorld itself. Unfortunately, neither show had any educational component about whales or dolphins at all, and we were pretty disappointed with that. When we went on to the other animal displays, especially the Wild Arctic, we were much more impressed with the ability to see the animals and watch them interact up close. Another coveted day of rest, and off we went for our favourite attraction of the trip—the San Diego Zoo. In the beginning we debated between the Zoo and its Wild Safari Park, but we made the right choice. We started with a trip on the double-decker bus, which our daughter was thrilled with. This is highly advisable so you can get the lay of the land, and pick which animals you’d like to go back and visit. It’s a big park! We decided to head back to see the giraffes, the rhinoceroses, the hippos, and the gorillas—all GREAT choices. Every exhibit was educational with lots of up-close encounters and opportunities to see and learn more. This is a great stop for people of all ages, but be sure to wear your walking shoes—there’s a lot of ground to cover! Then it was time to head north again. Rather than taking the same, bumpy I-5, we veered off and took some of the less travelled highways that ran parallel. We saw beautiful Yosemite Park, and found historical gold rush towns, markets, and some amazing scenery we just didn’t expect. And as long as the toddler had a DVD movie or naptime, we got to do it in peace!
Some Tips for Less Stressful Long Road Trips Down South: • Plan to cross the border at low-volume times. No sense in wasting valuable patience on border lineups. • Try to time your driving through major city areas (ie. Seattle, Portland, LA) at non-rush hour times. This can add hours on to your drive each day! • Do some research before you go – look for small local attractions along the way that will be of interest. You don’t have to visit them all, but having options are great. • Buy a map/guide book for the drive. We got a Woodall’s guide book for campsites in the Western States. Perfect! • Having a blackberry or Iphone with internet access was invaluable for looking up RV parks or calling ahead for bookings. • Portable DVD player if you don’t have one in your vehicle! • If your little one is toilet training, a small training potty in the trunk or backseat is a GREAT way to minimize accidents and bathroom-seeking along the way. • Have a good quantity and variety of healthy snacks, water, and juice on hand to minimize stops for food and drink. • It’s a good idea to book ahead for RV parks near attractions or where you want to stay for multiple days, don’t bother booking ahead for the overnight stays. We found lots of options, especially in the off season, and most days we ended up closer or further that we originally thought.
Resources www.rvparkreviews.com www.wildlifesafari.net www.disneyland.com
www.seaworld.com www.sandiegozoo.org
Zox of the Forest Why hire a clown when you can hire a ZOX? Playful skits, theatrical storytelling, animal puppet characters
& interactive guitar sing-along songs.
Zox is perfect for children’s birthday & Christmas parties too!
David Cooper (604) 710-4234 | zoxoftheforest.com
January/February 2011
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wcf feature
Families and Divorce By Nicola Enright-Morin
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ivorce. It’s not exactly the fairytale ending that couples imagine, but for many people, it’s a reality. Divorce can be a painful, traumatic and emotional experience for everyone involved—and that’s especially true if you throw kids into the equation. For that’s when it can get messy. All too often children find themselves trapped in the middle of a heartbreaking tug-of-love. However, the good news is that the times are a-changing. Traditionally, divorce is associated with bitter child custody battles and financial ruin, but around the world parents are seeking to resolve their issues amicably, and here too in Canada, people are starting to look for alternatives to the separation slugfest. Karen Stewart, President and CEO of Fairway Divorce Solutions, says the common mistakes people make are getting embroiled in a battle, and putting their energies into “getting even.” She says using a divorce to teach your spouse a lesson means that, in the end, the only people who win are the lawyers. Stewart learnt about the realities of divorce the hard way; she went through a lengthy five-year divorce of her own, which cost half a million dollars and a great deal of pain to everyone, especially her three children. She says that when you get divorced, it’s important to keep your emotions separate from your decision-making. While it’s important to acknowledge your emotions (because they are an important part of the healing process), it’s vital to keep them separate from the choices you make about your finances and arrangements for your children. When it comes to divorce, most experts advocate not making any rash, “heat of the moment” decisions, particularly using children as a way of getting back at the other parent. William Storey is a Vancouver lawyer who has been involved in family law cases for over twenty years. He says that in his experience it’s important for lawyers to try and get the parents to focus on their children. “My advice would be to approach the situation calmly and reasonably and not to let past emotions obstruct a reasonable approach. It’s important to keep in mind that if there are children involved, you’re going to have an on-going relationship with the other parent, probably for the remainder of your lives.” The importance of both parents playing an active role in a child’s life after separation cannot be underestimated and researchers in the field are asking for the courts to place more importance on the role of both parents. Edward Kruk, an Associate Professor at the School of Social Work at UBC, says that when lawyers fuel the conflict between parents, it’s the children who get hurt. Kids can suffer depression, as well as a wide range of other issues. Yet Kruk says that in cases where parents are able to co-parent (meaning kids have greater accessibility to both parents, at all times) kids adjust much better to their new circumstances. “When children are asked directly what they need and what’s important to them and what’s important for their well-being, they say they want both their parents involved.” Kruk also says that while children of all ages are affected, pre-school children are the most likely to be adversely affected if the situation is handled in a combative way. But if parents can behave like “grown-ups” he says it benefits everyone. “Of course when you’re able to have two loving parents actively involved in their kids lives, from when their very young, if you keep the children shielded from conflict and if you maintain predictability, stability and consistency in their routines, then young children will do very, very well.” Rachel Presley*, a mother of three from Vancouver, says that there is no easy way to break it to your kids that you’re getting divorced. She says that before she and her ex-husband told their children (ages six, 12 and 13), they put a great deal of thought into how to break it to them. They decided the best way to tackle the issue was to call a family meeting, where they all sat down together. They started off by telling the children that Mommy and Daddy hadn’t been
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getting along and that they were going to be separating. She said that one of the most important things that they wanted their kids to understand was that it wasn’t their fault. “We told them that a divorce is a sad thing, but that it can also be a good thing and that they’ll still have a mom and a dad who love them, it’s just that we won’t be living together.” Five years later, even though she feels her kids have adjusted well to the changes in their lives, she also recognizes that the divorce was “way harder on them than I thought.” She says they have dealt with different issues, and says it has affected all of her kids differently. The biggest challenge for her kids, one that they are still working on is, “They are hurt that it is not the way it ‘should’ be. It is a deep hurt, one that I don’t think will ever resolve. They will always ask, Why us? Why did it happen?” As for advice for other parents contemplating divorce, Presley says she would urge them to think very carefully. She says sometimes people think that their lives will be easier and simpler after a divorce, but the reality of having to operate two homes can be a huge strain on everyone— emotionally and financially. In terms of getting through a divorce with minimum financial loss, it pays to approach the situation armed with a plan and the desire to resolve things in a practical, common sense way. You would also be well advised to inform yourself as to what a divorce entails. There are a fantastic amount of resources available, both on the Internet and in your local library, to help you make the right choices for all of your family. Stewart says that if you find yourself getting a divorce, there are a few things to bear in mind. “Getting a divorce is a tough thing in life, but it shouldn’t define us.” Another important thing to remember is that as a parent, you need to give yourself a break. “You’re human, you’re allowed to make mistakes. When you do muck up, ask for forgiveness. Be accountable to your kids when you get it wrong.” In the end, she says, it all comes down to “being the best that you can be at a really difficult time.”
Print & Online Resources In the Best Interest of the Child: How to Protect Your Child from the Pain of Your Divorce by Stanton Samenow (Crown Publishing, 2002) Co-Parenting after Divorce: How to Raise Happy, Healthy Children in Two-Home Families by Diana Schulman (WinnSpeed Press, 1996) Surviving Divorce: A Guide to Canadian Family Law by Michael G. Cochrane (Wiley, 2007) Clean Break: How to Divorce with Dignity and Move On with Your Life by Karen Stewart (Wiley, 2008) Family Law in British Columbia Resource website maintained by the Legal Services Society of BC | www.familylaw.lss.bc.ca Justice Education Society Parenting After Separation (PAS) is a free three-hour workshop that helps parents make informed decisions about their separation which consider their children’s best interests | www.justiceeducation.ca/programs Statistics on divorce in Canada | www40.statcan.gc.ca/l01/cst01/famil02-eng.htm Tri-City Transitions A charitable, non-profit organization supporting women and families who have been impacted by abuse in the Tri-Cities communities of Port Moody, Port Coquitlam, Coquitlam, Anmore and Belcarra | www.tricitytransitions.com Fairway Divorce Solutions | www.fairwaydivorce.com William R. Storey (Family law) | www.storeylaw.com Edward Kruk | www.edwardkruk.com
Kristy Kaye, Teacher
What’s the lowdown on you? I am joyfully married, mother of two precious boys (Brayden, six, and Austin, three), and a part-time grade two classroom and dance teacher at Abbotsford School of Integrated Arts (ASIA). Recently I completed the “Fine Arts in Education” diploma from Simon Fraser University. I consider myself very fortunate to work in a school that not only values the arts as an essential component in education, but is also blessed with a group of talented, dedicated teachers who inspire, ignite, and motivate students to reach their greatest potential. I am passionate about teaching, dancing, being a mom, reading (when I have the time!), enjoying the outdoors, running and sipping fine wine! What are your pursuits outside of work? Continuing education, physical fitness, and always on the look-out for healthy dinners my whole family will enjoy. What are some of your biggest challenges in work? In life? One of my main challenges in day-to-day life—common to all working moms—is juggling family and career. There are certainly days where I feel that I am neglecting family for career or career for family. There are many times when I work late into the night planning lessons and preparing for the next day. As well, there are those days when my husband or boys require my undivided attention. What would you describe as some of the biggest rewards of your work/family? I consider myself extremely fortunate to have been educated and employed in a career of my choosing that I love. The joy of witnessing growth and positive change in my students as the year unfolds is such a gift and a continual source of inspiration for me. My biggest reward with my family is witnessing my children emerge from tiny babies to these curious, energetic boys. Although there are days when I feel nostalgic and a little sad to see how fast they have grown, I continue to marvel at the amazing changes that take place in a matter of years. I feel very lucky to be able to have a part-time career and be at home with my boys. I get to experience the best of both worlds! January/February 2011
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Have a Happy Body! How to Read Your Body’s Cues for Optimal Health and Energy By Alyssa Schottland-Bauman
B
eing a mother is non-stop. As women and mothers, we are so busy taking care of our families and our own daily goals that we often forget, or rather neglect, to take care of ourselves. Ignoring our bodies’ cues seems easier and doesn’t take time away from what we are already doing. But just as we know the signals of hunger, exhaustion and overstimulation in our children’s bodies, it is equally important to pay attention to the signals in our own. Of course ours may present a bit differently from an exhaustion-induced tantrum, but the key is learning to read the cues before our body reacts. ‘Cause if we don’t take care of ourselves, who will take care of them?
Fatigue This is by far the most basic, yet it is the most commonly overlooked in self-care regimes. A large proportion of fatigue is due to our high-paced lifestyle. We simply are too busy. Lack of time interferes in the sleep we absolutely need. And for many mothers, sleep deprivation is self-induced as we try to do “one last thing” before bed. How it May Present: Sleep deprivation impairs our immune system, ability to think, handle stress and moderate our emotions. We are frazzled, anxious and irritable, and our nerves are fried. Depression, heart disease, hypertension and slower reaction times are also common symptoms. Prevention: Try to get six to eight hours of sleep each night. If you have a baby, nap when he naps. Yes, you’ve heard it before, but do you do it? Take a Vitamin D supplement in winter months and add a probiotic to strengthen the immune system along with a multivitamin.
Hunger and Diet Everything we eat affects us deeply on a cellular level. We try to instil healthy eating habits in our children, but how many of us actually walk our talk and eat for health and energy? How it May Present: When we are hungry and suffer from a nutrient-void diet, we become irritable, less likely to cope with stress, more likely to make poor decisions, anxious, depressed, frazzled and could have weight issues. We often reach for a coffee and muffin or pre-packaged junk food laden with refined carbohydrates, sugar, preservatives and dyes. This leads to instant sugar highs, followed by a crash. It is a cyclical effect. Prevention: Eating a protein-packed breakfast incorporating complex carbohydrates is essential for a productive day. Research shows that brain function improves up to 80% when protein is consumed first thing in the morning. Breakfast eaters are
more focused with higher concentration and more adaptable to deal with daily stress than breakfast skippers who tend to be moody, inattentive and lethargic. Keep hormone levels in check by regularly eating only whole grain foods, as many fruits and vegetables as possible, as well as lean meats, fish and legumes, and avoiding refined sugars and processed food as much as possible. Arm yourself with healthysnacks on-the-go, just like you do for your children. Take a multivitamin complete with omega-3.
Mental Overload Cramming too much in one day, rushing here and there without a second in between, have too many deadlines to meet, things to do, pickups to make. Sound familiar? How it May Present: This wreaks havoc on our adrenal glands, causing the heart to race, a shortness of breath, anxiety, inability to deal, tightening of the stomach and migraines and headaches. Moments are often missed and life seems like one big chore. What about the joy? Prevention: Learn to say no. There is no harm in not doing, organizing or going to it all. Know your limits. Stop the back-to-back scheduling. Relax and lighten up on “what needs to get done.” Let the dishes wait. It’s more important to slow down and take time to relax, breathe and just be.
Kid-Overload Modern mothering is taxing and even a simple trip to the grocery store can become a monster chore with tot in tow, but if you find yourself chronically snapping at your children and the night time ritual is more of a rushed process, then you are definitely in need of some child-free time. How it May Present: Short, irritable, annoyed and careless with your children and family. This could also become dangerous for your children. Fun times become frustrating times and the little things become huge burdens. Prevention: Research proves that when women connect with other women they are happier and healthier. Try a new exercise class, take a walk without the stroller, get your hair done, laugh, shut off the computer and put down the phone, lose yourself in a bookstore. It doesn’t have to be for a long time. You will be amazed what an hour of uninterrupted “you” time will do for yourself and your entire family. Alyssa Bauman is founder of Nourished {from within} (nourished.ca), a health consulting firm. She instils long-lasting lifestyle tools in women who are starved for time and hungry for balance. She believes the modern woman can do it all, and she shows them how, from nutrition to self-expression.
wcm feature cont’d Do you manage to take time-out for yourself? Running has become my “time-out” outlet in the past couple of years. My youngest son, Austin was colicky and quite demanding the first five months of his life. Over this time, I certainly needed time-outs, and found long walks outside to be an amazing stress relief. These walks eventually developed into running. I have since participated in several 10 km runs and last year finished my first half marathon. Any must-haves? Although not something tangible, the one must-have my husband and I
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feel strongly about is taking time for just “us!” Whenever the grandparents are visiting from the Island, we are eager to head out the door and excited for our dinner date! If babysitters are unavailable, we designate certain days for “dinner dates” at home once a week, after the children have gone to bed! Tell us one or two of the most important life lessons you have learned through being a mom/teacher. Patience is a virtue! Marriage, parenting and teaching have definitely taught me to be a more patient person and patience is one precious gift I, in turn, can offer a child.
Adult Events for the Hip Mom Around Town! Finding Your Passion Clayburn Gourmet Gallery, Abbotsford, January 13, 9-11am Come hear two well-known moms talk about how they have found their passion in life, while enjoying a steaming hot latte and light breakfast, and having your kids taken care of by the friendly staff at Creative Edge School of Arts. momcafenetwork.com Beer My Valentine! Granville Island Taproom, February 14, 7-11:55pm This event is perfect for couples or people looking for that special someone. Beer and chocolate, live band, dancing, snacks and door prizes. Try not to smile and enjoy the evening! Tickets $35. 778.227.8977 | justforthebeer.com 21st Century Flea Market Croatian Cultural Centre, January 16, 10am-3pm Boho chic to 50s kitsch, collectibles and memorabilia to vintage kitchenalia, 175 tables of bargains on deluxe 20th century junque. Admission $4. 604.980.3159 | 21cpromotions.com Gung Haggis Fat Choy! Vancouver Public Library, January 24, 7-8:30pm World Poetry’s Gung Haggis Fat Choy gala event, celebrating Robbie Burns Day and Chinese New Year. A celebration of Chinese and Scottish traditions with a distinctly Canadian twist! 604.331.4044 | vpl.ca
August: Osage County Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage, January 27–February 27 This live show is the funny and poignant account of a dysfunctional family in the midst of a spectacularly entertaining meltdown. It’s a not-to-be-missed theatrical event! 604.687.1644 | artsclub.ca Staying Connected Boathouse Restaurant, 1305 Arbutus St., February 4, 9am Hear how two amazing moms and businesswomen have redefined their careers using technology, and how you can, too! Sit back and relax while you enjoy a light breakfast, steaming latté, and on-site childcare provided by Kids & Company, while listening to these inspiring woman and connecting with other educated, savvy moms. momcafenetwork.com Fort Langley Flea Market St. Andrews United Church, Langley, February 5, 9am-1pm This unique event only occurs a couple of times each year with a wide variety of new and used items, homemade baking and more housed on two floors as well as outside. This is a free event. fortlangleyfleamarket.ca Dance In Motion Centennial Theatre, February 5, 7:30pm Presented by RNB Dance and Theatre Arts Society, this showcases many different dance styles with special guest performances. Tickets $19, 604.984.4484 | centennialtheatre.com
Valentine Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre Barclay Manor, Main Floor Multi Room, February 11, 6:30-8:30pm Producer Trevor Jenkins brings together a professional cast and a sumptuous light English supper in this Agatha Christie-fashioned St. Valentine’s Day drawing room mystery. Wine and beer will be available for purchase. Tickets $7. 604.257.8333 Chocolate Appreciation Workshop Schokolade Cafe, February 13, 6-8pm Make a moulded 3D chocolate form, and decorate with contrasting chocolate. Learn how chocolate is made and try different samples. Workshop includes wine and chocolate! $50 per person. 604.253.9411 | shokoladecafe.com Moonlight Snowshoe 2011 Seymour Mountain, February 17, 6-9pm A guided moonlit snowshoe with great people, warm soup, hot apple cider and chocolate fondue amongst snow capped trees to raise money to support youth at risk in Vancouver. $20 registration fee. Please look online for complete details. 604.638.3385 | takeahikefoundation.org/snowshoe
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Richmond Baby on Board Arts Connection Richmond PublicLibrary- Brighouse Minoru Aquatic Centre Sylvan Learning Centre Gateway Theatre Coquitlam/Poco/ Port Moody/ Maple Ridge Planet Ice Skating Rinks The Birth Place Burnaby Lakes Sports Complex Burnaby Public Library-Terry Fox Gymboree YMCA Port Moody Moody Park Arena Burnaby Canlan Ice Sports High Touch High Tech Multicultural Family Support Centre Burnaby Lakes Sports Complex Just Kid’n Children’s Wear Surrey/Delta Bear Creek Park Train Sungod Aquatic Centre Surrey Public Library-Strawberry Hill Ladner Community Centre
January/February 2011 Behind the Scenes Royal BC Museum Belleville & Government, Victoria Ongoing We’re turning inside out to reveal our natural history collections, full of things you’ve never seen before. Behind the Scenes is a 930 sq.m (10,000 sq.ft.) family-friendly exhibition with onsite activities for all ages. I-Spy Family Saturdays, Night at the Museum Sleepover, Camp Inside Out, Discover Programs and AmusEum for kids! 888.447.7977 | royalbcmuseum.bc.ca Nature Walk Richmond Nature Park Ongoing until February 20, 2-3pm Come for an introduction to the bog and we’ll show you the wonders of this special wetland. Sundays only. richmond.ca Toopy and Binoo Live! Bell Centre for the Performing Arts, January 7 The Centre for Performing Arts, January 8 Entertaining and whimsical, this show incorporates music, theatre, dance, puppetry and innovative multimedia to weave a story that will tickle the imaginations of the entire family! 604.280.4444 | ticketmaster.ca toopyandbinooontour.com Coal Harbour Community Centre Open House Coal Harbour Community Centre January 9, 10am-4pm It’s a new year, new beginning, come by and enjoy the community open house to try new activities, explore new hobbies, gain new energy, meet new friends. Free Jellyfish Gymboree! 604.718.8222 | coalharbourcc.ca Wolf Girl Vancity Theatre January 9, 1pm Reel 2 Real International Film Festival for Youth is pleased to present Wolf Girl, a Japanese feature about friendship and standing up to bullies. Viewers ages 10 to 19 can stay after for the free Film Criticism Workshop from 3-5pm. 604.224.6162 | r2rfestival.org Kids Swap N Shop George Preston Centre, Langley January 16, 2-5pm Come get your shop on at this great kids swap n shop! Lots of large tables full of children’s clothing, toys, furniture, accessories and more at a fraction of the price!!! Also several family friendly businesses you can’t miss! Admission $3. 604.530.7526 VanDusen Family Programs Bloedel Conservatory January 22 & February 19, multiple times Discover the tropical diversity of plants and birds that call Bloedel home as you explore the Conservatory with your guide. Includes fun and educational activities for the kids. $20/family vandusengarden.org
community calendar
Bobs and Lolo Centennial Theatre January 23, 2pm Bobs and Lolo are fabulous children’s entertainers who create upbeat music for kids that adults happen to love. Check online for ticket prices. 604.983.6450 | centennialtheatre.com
Valentine Chocolates Kensington Prairie Community Centre February 12, 9:30-11am Learn to make moulded and dipped chocolates. Eat them or give them away as gifts. $11.25 per child aged six to nine years. 604.718.6200
Huge Kids Swap Meet Cloverdale Fairgrounds January 29, 9am-1pm New and gently used kids items for sale. Clean out your children’s closets and make yourself a profit. Admission $5. 604.588.9919
Valentine Crafts Don Christian Recreation Centre, Cloverdale February 12, 12:30-2:00pm Create crafts and gifts for your valentine. $11.25 per session for kids ages six to nine years. surrey.ca
Westside Montessori Open House January 29 Vancouver Italian Cultural Centre, 3075 Slocan St. Interested families can meet the teachers, see the classroom and find out about the programs. Preschool application deadline is February 1, 2011. www.westsidemontessoriacademy.ca Talking Stick Festival February 1-13 Multiple venues The 10th Annual Talking Stick Festival provides a stage for extraordinary Aboriginal artists, established and emerging, featuring live music, dance, theatre, multimedia, storytelling and performance art. 604.684.2787 | www.fullcircle.ca Sail the World at the Maritime Museum HR MacMillan Space Centre February 4 Adventures: a series of illustrated lectures coordinated by circumnavigator and author Anne Brevig. Local skippers share their exciting experiences and practical advice about offshore sailing aboard small boats. 604.257.8300 | vancouvermaritimemuseum.com Chinese New Year West End Community Centre February 5, 11am-1pm Bring in the Year of the Rabbit, or “Pinyin” by celebrating at this free family event with music, performances, and good luck crafts. 604.257.8333 | vancouver.ca Winter Chill-Out Party: Chris Hamilton and the Sticky Jam Band Surrey Arts Centre February 6, 2pm Enjoy an action-packed hour of fun family tunes! You’ll be movin’ and groovin’ with one of Canada’s rising stars in children’s music. Intended for ages 4 and up. 604.501.5566 | surrey.ca 11th Annual Chutzpah! Festival Multiple venues February 10-27 The Lisa Nemetz International Showcase of Jewish Performing Arts, otherwise known as the Chutzpah! Festival is back with a diverse range of music, dance and theatre shows with a line-up that includes some of Canada’s and the world’s best artists. Various ticket prices. 604.257.5145 | chutzpahfestival.com
Vancouver International Boat Show February 9-13 Vancouver Convention Centre & False Creek Yacht Club Visit more than 300 exhibitors showcasing the latest boats and marine products on the market at the best deals of the year. With two great locations, Show goers can take advantage of activities for the entire family, as well as a comprehensive seminar lineup featuring top boating experts. Adult $15, Seniors $13, Kids under 16, FREE. 604.678.8820 | www.vancouverboatshow.ca Lorita Leung Chinese Dance Company Scotiabank Dance Centre February 24, noon From the poise and control of the classical style to the exuberance of ethnic folk dances, the company will trace a journey through Chinese art, culture and traditions. Tickets $10/$8 students, seniors and children. 604.606.6400 | thedancecentre.ca The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe The Venue, Langley February 24-March 6 This show is open to children ages five years and older who are able to sit quietly attentive for two hours with a 15-minute intermission. Tickets are $12. 604.612.6167 | imaginethatplace.com Kid’s Stuff Swap Meet Fraser Heights Recreation Centre February 26, 9:30am-noon This swap meet is geared towards preschool and children’s items. If you have toys, clothes, or books you no longer use then this is your chance to sell these items! 604.592.6920
Want WestCoast Families at YOUR event? Call 604.249.2866 or email admin@westcoastfamilies.com to receive free delivery of our magazines to your family event! January/February 2011
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last look
Character Mirrors:
By Shari Pratt
Relief Sculpture Toilet Paper Clay Supply List
• One roll of toilet paper per child • White liquid glue (I use leftover white glue from my kids’ school supplies) and a watered down mixture (70% glue to 30% water) • Piece of cardboard 11 x 17 (box cardboard is nice and thick) • Small bowl • Scissors • Tempera or acrylic paint, brushes, paint tray • Small mirror (3-4” diameter) • Sharpie marker • Optional: photographs of cartoon characters
Instructions 1. Draw your favorite cartoon character onto the piece of cardboard in pencil. You will need to make your character’s mouth OPEN. Outline the pencil lines in sharpie. 2. Using scissors, cut out your character (cut around the outside edge of your character). 3. Glue the mirror on top of the area where your character’s mouth is (Hint: you can re-draw any details that were covered up by the mirror using a sharpie.... i.e. teeth can be re-drawn on the mirror) 4. In a small bowl, add the watered down glue mixture. Take approximately 6-8 squares of toilet paper and lightly soak them in the mixture. 5. Squeeze out most of the glue/water mix from the toilet paper (you have now created your clay). 6. Break apart (shred) the clay so it becomes more pliable (workable). 7. Apply the clay in layers to your cardboard character. Important: only create small bits of clay at a time (steps 4-6). 8. Build up your character’s features (eyes, teeth, hair) higher than his face. 9. **Careful not to cover the mirror completely, only cover the outside edges. 10. **Make sure that none of the layers are thicker than ½ inch or your cardboard could get moldy while drying. 11. Allow to dry. Can take up to a week to dry. Every few days, flip your cardboard over so both sides can dry (this will help it from molding as well). Optional: place a fan towards your work to dry it within a few days. 12. Once dry, paint your creation using acrylic or tempera paint! 13. Use a glass cleaner to clean your mirror. 14. Punch a hole in the top for hanging.
Artistic Influence Michelangelo Buonarotti (Mar 6, 1475 - Feb 18, 1564) was an Italian Renaissance sculptor and painter who is best known for such masterpieces as the magnificent sculpture of David, the Last Judgment and his paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. QUOTE: “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” Relief Sculpture is a sculpture still attached to its background. Title: Pitti Madonna, marble relief sculpture, 1505, Michaelangelo
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Shari Pratt is a local artist and teacher and owner of Creative Kaos School of Art and Imagineering. www.sharipratt.com
For a limited time only. At participating McDonald’s® restaurants in Canada. ©2010 McDonald’s January/February 2011
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