Westender March 31 2016 by Westender

MARCH 31-APRIL 6 // 2016

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EVERYTHING VANCOUVER

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Rich Hope: An exile on Main Street • YOUR HOOD: MAIN STREET/MT. PLEASANT • • THE BREWERIES OF BREWERY CREEK • • BIG LAUGHS AT LITTLE MOUNTAIN •

NEWS // ISSUES • STYLE // DESIGN • EAT // DRINK • MUSIC // ARTS • FILM // TV • HEALTH // SEX

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2 W March 31 - April 6, 2016

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INSIDE THIS WEEK You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack by Tom Gauld

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News4 Vancouver Shakedown4 A Good Chick To Know5 By The Bottle6 Fresh Sheet6 Your Hood7 Music7 The Growler8 Style File9 Nosh10 Comedy11 What’s On12 Reel People14 Theatre15 LOUD Business Guide16 Real Estate17 Whole Nourishment20 Horoscopes21 Sex with Mish Way21 Classifieds22 COVER: ROCK ‘N’ ROLLER RICH HOPE RELAXES IN THE CHAIR AT THE BELMONT BARBERSHOP AT EAST BROADWAY AND MAIN STREET. DAN TOULGOET PHOTO WESTENDER IS A DIVISION OF LMP PUBLICATION LIMITED PARTNERSHIP. ALL MATERIAL IS COPYRIGHTED AND CANNOT BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF THE PUBLISHER. THE NEWSPAPER RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REJECT ANY ADVERTISING WHICH IT CONSIDERS TO CONTAIN FALSE OR MISLEADING INFORMATION OR INVOLVES UNFAIR OR UNETHICAL PRACTICES. THE ADVERTISER AGREES THE PUBLISHER SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF ERROR IN ANY ADVERTISEMENT BEYOND THE AMOUNT PAID FOR SUCH ADVERTISEMENT. WE COLLECT, USE, AND DISCLOSE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR PRIVACY STATEMENT WHICH IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

RANT//RAVE email: rantrave@westender.com ALL RANTS ARE THE OPINION OF THE INDIVIDUAL AND DO NOT REFLECT THE OPINIONS OF THE WESTENDER. THE EDITOR RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT FOR CLARITY AND BREVITY, SO PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT AND (BITTER)SWEET.

SUBURBS CAN’T GET NO RESPECT Re:“Public drinking already happens,”Vancouver Shakedown, March 24, 2016. Getting just a tad tired of Grant Lawrence’s repeated dismissive tone when it comes to our fellow Lower Mainlanders who don’t occupy his hallowed grounds known as the City ofVancouver. His automatic assumption that the “bridge-and-tunnel crowd”

are the major culprits when it comes to irregularities in the downtown core, without backing them up with some credible stats, conﬁrms his air of elitist arrogance. Obviously the good burghers of his urban Shangri-la would never misbehave, let alone break any law, except the one he’s actively advocating regarding public drinking. Heaven forbid his despised “suburbanites” might want to follow suit,

but apparently Mr. Lawrence decreed this “spiked luxury” is strictly for his chosen people. –William Muller EVERYBODY NEEDS CLEAN WATER Re:“WorldWater Day reminds us not to take clean water for granted,” David Suzuki, March 17, 2016. In 2012, Canada recognized the right to water at the United Nations Conference

on Sustainable Development. Most of the Earth’s nations recognize their citizens’ right to live in a healthy environment, including peoples’ right to clean drinking water. Here in Canada we also need an environmental bill of rights that recognizes, protects and fulfills our right to a healthy environment, including our right to clean water. Such a bill will provide clear guidelines for government, industry and citizens to manage resources, economic development and the health and well-being of communities in ways that are transparent, predictable and sustainable. Over 100 communities in Canada already have passed environmental rights declarations at the local level.This has to be achieved at the federal level as well. As a mother of two little boys, I hope the future generations will benefit from better legislation that protects peoples’ health, marine biodiversity and the sustainability of the planet. It’s time for the federal government to implement the right to clean water in Canada by passing an environmental bill of rights that respects, protects and fulfills our right to a healthy environment, including the right to clean water. -Mirela Andronescu

March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 3

NEWS // ISSUES

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YOUR CITY

Vancouver’s first street corner gets a facelift Grant Lawrence Vancouver Shakedown @GrantLawrence

Railway Club photo

Iconic Railway Club closes its doors ROBERT MANGELSDORF @robmangelsdorf

The owners of Vancouver’s legendary Railway Club announced Tuesday that it will be closing its doors, effective immediately. In a statement posted on Facebook Tuesday afternoon, the club’s owners said they could no longer keep the venerable live music venue aﬂoat. “A concerted and very public effort to sell the club over the last few months has seen no buyer come forward,” the statement said. “Unfortunately, the long-term and persistent combination of relatively high expenses, in particular rent, as compared to business receipts has left the business unable to continue. We deeply regret this outcome and the effect it will have on all the stakeholders, as well the cultural scene in Vancouver.”

The Railway Club began life as a private club for railway construction workers in 1931. Under the ownership of Janet and Steve Forsyth, the bar at the corner of Dunsmuir and Seymour became one of Vancouver’s premiere live music venues, beginning in 1981. Canadian legends like the Tragically Hip, Barenaked Ladies, k.d. lang, Blue Rodeo and Ray Condo all got their start on the club’s small stage. The Forsyths sold the club to Amelia and Steve Silman in 2008 after 27 years of operating the club. Steve Silman put the club up for sale for $299,000 in December 2015, describing it as a “rare opportunity to take over an iconic Vancouver location.” Silman couldn’t be reached for comment, but the club’s ownership did thank those who supported the Railway Club over the years.

“We would like to thank our wonderful employees, customers, promoters, suppliers, and especially the performers that have made the Railway Club much more than just a business these many years,” the Facebook statement reads. “Again, our thanks to everyone who at one time or another climbed the steep stairs up to the Railway Club; we wish the best going forward to all those affected.” Music promoter Seamus McGrath said he received no advance notice of the closure, and has been left to try and move his shows to other venues in Vancouver on short notice. “I knew they were selling but no one said anything to me about it closing so suddenly,” he said. “I have seven shows booked [at the Railway Club] right now, so I’m scrambling to ﬁnd somewhere to put them.” W

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Here stood Hamilton first Land Commissioner Canadian Pacific Railway 1885. In the silent solitude of the primeval forest he drove a wooden stake in the Earth and commenced to measure an empty land into the streets ofVancouver. So reads the bronze plaque that was affixed for more than 50 years at the corner of Hamilton and Hastings Street in Vancouver, on the western edge of Victory Square.That exact spot became the first street corner of what would eventually become downtown as we know it. I’ve spent the past 27 years of my life working on Hastings and Hamilton Streets, first at Teamworks Concert Productions, then Mint Records, and, for the past 18 years now, at the dear old CBC. Every time I passed by the plaque, I imagined that wet winter day in 1885 when Lauchlan Hamilton drove that stake into the dirt beneath the massive cedars, and all those that walked up and down Hamilton Street’s cobblestones in the 131 years since. That’s why I was so alarmed when the building the gorgeous plaque was attached to at 300 West Hastings Street (a Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce that dated back to 1959), was unceremoniously torn down about a year ago. My old pal and business

Chris Kelly photo partner Randy Iwata (who still runs Mint Records across the street in the Dominion Building), caught sight of the plaque being jackhammered out of the wall. Randy has posted the progress of both the tear down and the construction of the new building almost daily on his Instagram account (@mintrandy) but there has been no news or sign of the plaque.Was it thrown out? Stolen? Sold for scrap metal? Is there no accounting for historical reverence in this town? We feared the worst. The new building at 300 West Hastings is now very close to completion, so last week I decided to try and ﬁnd out the fate of the commemorative panel for myself. I gingerly tip-toed into the construction site, past large men in construction hats working with very loud machinery. As soon as I was inside, John Spadafora, the friendly site superintendent, approached and introduced himself. When I explained my interest and concern for the plaque, a smile crossed his face. “We saved it,” he reassured me. “The plaque is in a safe place.We refurbished it, cleaned it up, and it will have a permanent new home in the

foyer of the building. It should be going up next week if you want to come down and take a look.” I breathed a sigh of relief and shook John’s hand in thanks. A piece of Vancouver history was saved. Maybe the continued acknowledgement for Hamilton’s stake also has something to do with the new residents of downtown’s first corner: the six-story building will be part of Simon Fraser University.The upper four floors will serve mostly as a residency for SFU post-grad students, the second floor a teaching and workspace, and the ground level a new café, foyer, and gathering place for public events.That means that the once-beleaguered Victory Square is now an educational zone, bordered on three sides by SFU,Vancouver Community College, and the Vancouver Film School. My fears alleviated, it feels about right that a school named after the first European to arrive by land at what would become Vancouver, is now situated on what would become our first-ever street corner. All I ask of SFU is that the plaque remains accessible to public, since we all have a stake. W

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FASHION 1

1. Gillian Segal’s gold cocktail shaker. Tracey Ayton photo. 2. Leah Alexandra’s Juju Headress. 3. Tracey Ayton’s reclaimed wood dining table. 4. Rachel Harrison’s vintage handira blanket. Janis Nicolay photo. 5. Erin Sousa’s tufted Isabelle bed.

Definitely not your typical jewellery store.

This column often showcases what’s hot for design trends, what the new colours are, or where to ﬁnd the latest “must-have” item for your home.This week, however, I decided to turn the tables and check in with some of my talented fellow designers and style inﬂuencers and feature their favourite décor items within their own spaces.

GILLIAN SEGAL

Gillian Segal Design, GillianSegalDesign.com “My favourite accessory – my gold cocktail shaker! I love entertaining and have to admit I make a mean margarita. This little shaker has

Westender.com

RACHEL HARRISON

Roomcraft Design & Renovations, RoomcraftDesign.com “My favourite treasure at home is the vintage handira in our master bedroom. These wedding blankets are a romantic bohemian’s dream and are literally a woven representation of a family’s hope for love and fertility in a Berber bride-to-be’s future. I love the tradition and the beauty it represents.”

LEAH ALEXANDRA

Leah Alexandra Jewelry, LeahAlexandra.com “My fave décor item in my home is deﬁnitely the Juju Headress from The Cross. I

love the texture it brings into the room and it anchors the wall as an art piece since we don’t have a headboard.”

TRACEY AYTON

Tracey Ayton Photography, TraceyAytonPhotography.com “Our reclaimed wood dining table! We purchased the table for outdoor entertaining but once we moved into our new home, the table actually looks better inside and it ﬁts. We’ve celebrated many occasions with family on it and it will be forever my favourite piece of furniture.”

@Jennifer_AGCTK

seen a lot of action, I love experimenting with different cocktails and greeting my guests with a fun drink, it’s always a great way to get the party started!”

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Jennifer Scott A Good Chick to Know

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ERIN SOUSA

The Sparkle, TheSparkle.net “Our tufted Isabelle bed from Rothman & Co. is my favourite piece in our home. It adds a cozy texture to our bedroom, and creates such a gorgeous bright and airy feel to the space.” W

SALE AT VANCOUVER STORE ONLY: 4360 Main St. • 778-379-6263

www.justjewelleryinc.com *Some exceptions apply. See in store for details. All sales final.

March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 5

EAT // DRINK

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DINING OUT

L’heure de l’apéritif Michaela Morris By the Bottle

@MichaelaWine

I’m headed back to Europe. Again. I can assure you; it never gets old. I love touring vineyards, discovering speciﬁc regional cuisines and just walking around old towns checking out historical monuments and buildings. But what I look forward to most is the daily ritual of the apéritif. In France, l’heure de l’apértif (or l’apéro as it is known for short) is that time post-work and predinner when friends get together for a drink. The Italians call it l’aperitivo and you can rest assured that the Spaniards and Portuguese have the same custom too. The meeting point is usually a buzzing outdoor café in the central square or piazza. Each country has its classic tipples but the over-arching philosophy is the same. It should rouse an appetite (and promote lively conversation). Bitter-

ness is a recurring element though this is usually countered by some sweetness. It doesn’t take long to acquire a taste. Alternatively, the local wine (especially if it sparkles) works just fine. Along with the drinks, a few simple snacks like chips or nuts serve to stave off the building hunger and prolong the magical timeless moment. If the apéritif is not part of your tradition yet, now is the time to adopt it. As the days get longer, we are less inclined to race home after work. Better weather (fingers always crossed) encourages gathering outside, provided you can find a patio. It’s not too early in the season to start. Get into the habit now so the tradition is well established come summertime.

;.++3A ! MCLG73 ! %K2@4-> &# ;.D?FC (AFC3B Lillet was my initiation to the apéritif ritual. I had no idea what it was but I felt so sophisticated drinking it. I have since learned that it’s based on Semillon from the region of

Bordeaux, which is blended with a variety of orange peel liqueurs then aged in oak vats. I still feel chic whenever I have it. And that balance of sweet and bitter makes me hungry every time.

JFG)L+3) &*LBB> '.F 93E3 M.GF ! (03CC* ":> (EL.G ! %IK@--> &# ;.D?FC (AFC3B This dry ﬁno sherry is surely the most ubiquitous pour in bars across Spain. I for one have never turned down a glass. With unique favours and aromas of tangy green apple, rising bread and blanched almonds, it’s just so perfect while nibbling on mixed olives and nuts. 'L*+FC M+L51LA3> M.G3 $0.A3 9FCA ! 9FCA?1L+ ! %K-@4-> &# ;.D?FC (AFC3B White port sits in the shadows of the more famous tawny and ruby style ports. All are typically offered after a meal to satisfy a sweet tooth. However, the loveliest pre-dinner sip I enjoyed in Portugal was a spritz of equal parts white port and tonic served over

ice. Muddle mint leaves to add refreshment. INKK 83=,> "FBL11.F O3CF ! 'C3GAF ":#> <AL+* ! %6/@--> &# ;.D?FC (AFC3B In my ongoing efforts to endorse the vast world of Italian bubbles beyond Prosecco, I propose an elegant traditional method sparkling wine from Trento

DOC. Dosaggio Zero means that no sugar has been added so you can expect a very dry mouthful. Racy yet rich, the Revì is well suited to a celebratory aperitivo gathering. For some levity, serve with salty potato chips. #LHELC.> &.AA3C ! <AL+* ! %IK@--> &# ;.D?FC (AFC3B Campari is an apéritif-

Anya Levykh Fresh Sheet

@FoodGirlFriday

Rosewood Hotel Georgia will be reopening Reﬂections, its al fresco rooftop bar and lounge, on April 7. Look for a new design and menu concept. RosewoodHotels.com

World famous burgers and so much more. Legendary burgers, milkshakes & signature fries are among our favourites at White Spot. Nothing complements our award-winning burgers like a hand-scooped shake or our Nat Bailey beer crafted by Granville Island Brewing. There’s always something for everyone at White Spot.

ORDER ONLINE at whitespot.ca

GRANVILLE & DRAKE 718 Drake Street 604-605-0045

and famous burgers

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Hungry Guys Kitchen has opened on the Granville entertainment strip with its modern healthy and fast-food concept. The restaurant offers dinein and takeaway menus

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6 W March 31 - April 6, 2016

DUNSMUIR & HOMER 405 Dunsmuir Street 604-899-6072

Laduree Boutique and Tea Salon has ofﬁcially opened, and, judging by the line-ups, is living up to the hype. The Robson Street store is open daily 10am9pm. Laduree.com The Red Wagon is closing for the month of April to undergo renovations. Last service before closure will be lunch on March 29 and the reopening is scheduled for the ﬁrst week of May. RedWagonCafe.com

CALL 310-SPOT

GEORGIA & CARDERO 1616 West Georgia Street 604-681-8034

Hawksworth Restaurant Group has announced Phil Scarfone (Hawksworth Restaurant, Oru, DB Bistro Moderne) as head chef of Nightingale, the soonto-open casual restaurant that will focus on modern Canadian cuisine. HawkNightingale.com

OAKRIDGE CENTRE 41st & Cambie 604-261-2820

style liqueur made with a number of bittering ingredients like oranges and rhubarb. Typically served long with soda, its primary function is to stimulate the appetite. With unparalleled revitalizing powers, it’s my go-to when in Italy and an equally common indulgence in Vancouver. W # 42$/,1 ,(/"-1$+, 5' .3(,10 focusing on burritos and salads at reasonable prices, including a build-yourown salad menu. HungryGuysKitchen.com Milano Coffee has received its seventh gold medal for best espresso from the International Institute of Coffee Tasters. Its winning Cognac espresso is available at all three locations as a single espresso serving, as well as in take-home bags. Market by Jean-Georges is celebrating spring with a cherry blossom-inspired menu, running now until April 30. The five-course tasting menu is $98 per person and includes sidestripe shrimp with eggplant salad, sablefish marinated in sake lees, and albacore tuna with sake-cured torchon of foie gras. Optional sake pairings from Granville Island’s Artisan Sake Maker available for $70 per person. MarketByJGVancouver.com W In other spring news, Sai Woo has launched new spring menus and is now offering an early bird threecourse prix fixe menu for $35, available daily 5pm6:30pm. Options include lemongrass chicken with pandan rice, beet salad with blackberry sauce, mango mousse cake, and more. The restaurant is also offering a special three-course “date night” menu every Thursday for $30, along with drink specials. SaiWoo.ca W

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YOUR HOOD

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MAIN STREET / MT. PLEASANT

Rich Hope: An exile on Main Street

KRISTI ALEXANDRA @kristialexandra

A familiar looking man – slender with well-coiffed hair and tattoos – is giving another man a dry shave in a vintage barber’s chair at the Belmont Barbershop. Located on Broadway just a block off Main Street, the space gives the impression that it’s been a well-preserved bomb shelter for the past 50-plus years. From the seafoam green walls and classic coloured leather barber chairs to its fare of classic shave kits, soaps-on-a-rope, and enough tins of wax pomade to make George Clooney’s character in O Brother, Where Art Thou salivate, the basement barbershop is frozen in time as far as aesthetics are concerned. As for the familiar looking man? Swap out the razor for a guitar and audiophiles in Vancouver recognize him as Rich Hope, the rockabilly king of Main Street. “I reﬂect sometimes and I’m really happy that whatever I do, I trade my skills for money,” Hope tells the Westender at his shop, which he co-owns with master barber Dustin Fishbook. Since opening in 2005, Fishbook took on Hope as an apprentice and the pair partnered up to bring Mount Pleasant dwellers a clean shave and an experience that harkens back to Coca Cola’s heyday. “If you need me to cut your hair, you can give me some money. If you need me to sing you a song, gimme some money. And sometimes I might do either of those for free,” Hope laughs. The Edmonton-born musician, known for his rock ‘n’ roll acts Rich Hope & His Evil Doers and the Blue Rich Rangers, spent

Rock ‘n’ roller Rich Hope relaxes in the chair at the Belmont Barbershop, which he co-owns with Dustin Fishbook, at East Broadway and Main Street. Dan Toulgoet photo some time working in Whistler before making Vancouver’s Main Street his home in the late ‘90s. That, he says, is when his career really began to get traction. “I wanted to snowboard for a while and I just used to play cover gigs for a living in [Whistler] bars,” he explains. “Ground zero was ’97. I moved out to Main Street and put out a record right there and then, and that’s kind of when everything started to get going. The move to the city was that I wanted to actually write my

own music and actually do this. Living in a ski town wasn’t particularly inspirational.” Given the microcosm of musicians that gathered around Mount Pleasant, it didn’t take long for Hope to ﬁnd a band to play in – and players to recruit. Hope’s longtime drummer, Adrian Mack, is the other half of the Rich Hope &

His Evil Doers duo. “I started meeting people who were kinda interested in the music I was doing. I ended up living in Mount Pleasant… and drinking coffee at Lugz, which is Kafka’s now, so every morning it would be the same people you’d see walking by, and all these musicians that all

played together. This network was suddenly like before my eyes and that’s how I met everybody,” Hope reminisces. “I always remember noticing Adrian’s drumming – and a lot of people notice this – he just has a great feel,” Hope says, explaining they both played in the Stones-esque rock quartet John Ford. “When I went to make my solo record, it started out just being some acoustic stuff, and [I had] some of these one-chord blues songs in mind. It seemed natural; I wanted

something that’s very feelbased and so I called him up and said, ‘Come and play on this.’ It’s kind of like Charlie Watts and Keith Richards. Keith always says when Charlie’s done with the Stones, then it’s done. We just have that thing together.” The duo’s last full length record, Rich Hope Is Gonna Whip It OnYa, was released in 2009, with the singles “I See Trouble,” and “Can’t Get No Lovin’” following in years after. Dropping the Evil Doers from the name, Rich Hope’s band has now expanded to ﬁt two more: Erik Neilsen and Matt Kelly, who, coincidentally, Hope met around Main Street. The foursome will be performing songs at the Biltmore Cabaret on April 9, which the singer plans to release on an upcoming full-length LP. “When I went in the studio this time, I remember telling Adrian, ‘I just want to make a Rich Hope record, whatever comes out,’” he says, noting that the rock ‘n’ roll duo the Evil Doers and his country band, the Blue Rich Rangers were formed for different purposes but ended up playing much of the same songs. “If the two bands were a Venn diagram, this record would be the stuff in the middle that gets caught up.” Until the show, you can expect to run into Hope at his barbershop (111 East Broadway), browsing Neptoon or Red Cat Records, or chowing down on “out of this world Chinese street food” at the Sunny Spot Café. W

RICH HOPE

Rock ‘n’ roller Rich Hope performs at the Biltmore Cabaret on April 9 with Ben Rogers.

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March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 7

YOUR HOOD

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MAIN STREET / MT. PLEASANT

L-R: R&B’s tasting room on East 4th is set to open any day now; Fill your liver and your stomach at Red Truck Beer Company; Mauricio Lozano of Faculty Brewing is the newest addition to Brewery Creek. Dan Toulgoet photos

The breweries of Brewery Creek

8 W March 31 - April 6, 2016

BIG ROCK URBAN BREWERY

Opened 2015 Alberta’s Big Rock made

Opened 2013 2013’s other brewery opening had just as much of an impact as 33A. With an ever-rotating lineup of beers – most of which are stellar – to a tasting that was designed to force strangers to actually talk to each other, it’s become the epicenter of craft beer culture in Brewery Creek. Beer to try: One Trick Pony, if you can ﬁnd it.

BREWERIES 33 Acres Brassneck ATHLET ES WAY Faculty Main Street R&B Red Truck Big Rock

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Opened 2014 MSB had actually been in the works for as long, if not longer, than Brassneck and 33A, but licensing and permitting issues resulted in chronic delays. But it was worth the wait. MSB has an approachable, underrated tap list that gets better with every new batch, and a tasting room that we can’t seem to write enough about. It’s comfortable and laid back and never feels crowded, even when it’s full. Beer to try: Naked Fox IPA.

FACULTY BREWING

Opening May 2016 Brewery Creek’s newest, still-under-construction brewery is located along the Ontario bike route at 3rd Avenue – at the base of Mt. Pleasant’s incline, which I have no doubt will be great for business. The academiathemed tasting room will serve beers named in honour of college courses: 241 Minze Weizen, 421 Cascadian Pale Ale, etc. Beer to try: Your guess is as good as mine. W

BRASSNECK BREWERY

RED TRUCK BEER CO.

Opened 2015 Red Truck is often derided for not being craft enough, but that’s mostly because they’re great at selling lots of beer that appeals to mainstream tastes. That’s nothing to sneeze at. Craft beer is a business, after all. And since the gigantic production facil-

ity opened last year, the brewery has thrown a series of parking lot parties that were a helluva lot of fun. Let’s hope they bring those back. Beer to try: Red Truck Ale.

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Opened 1997 The ﬁrst brewery to open in Mt. Pleasant since Prohibition was a local mainstay, hipping people to the fact that, no man, Molson Canadian is not the only goddamn beer you need to drink. A close brush with bankruptcy last year resulted in Howe Sound Brewing buying R&B. The company has invested some dough into expanding the

Opened 2013 One of two breweries to open in the neighbourhood in 2013, and one of two to prove to the uninitiated that Vancouver craft beer is something to be reckoned with. 33A’s dependable, approachable and mostly delicious beers, and their minimalist aesthetic, have made the brewery the most effective welcome signs for the industry. Beer to try: 33 Acres of Sunshine.

the audacious decision to make a go of it in the increasingly competitive and notoriously ﬁckle local beer industry. They’ve gone all out with an impressive production facility, a restaurant and a lineup of beers designed speciﬁcally for local palates. Beer to try: Hollow Tree Red Ale.

S COT I A S T

R&B BREWING

33 ACRES BREWING CO.

STEEL TOAD BREWPUB

Opened 2014 Is it a restaurant? Is it a brewery? Is it a sports bar? These are the questions lobbed at Steel Toad since it opened in early 2015 in the former Opsal Steel building. And in its attempts to carve out an identity for itself, people unfortunately have been missing out on what the brewpub does best – excellent pizza and a distinctly European style approach to brewing largely absent from other breweries in the neighbourhood. Beer to try: Saison Sauvignon.

O N TA R I O S T

Make no mistake: Vancouver has emerged as the craft beer capital of Canada (sorry Victoria). And Brewery Creek – the unofﬁcial brewery district developed around Main Street – has become the industry’s beating heart. Like SE Portland in Oregon or Seattle’s Ballard in Washington, Brewery Creek has become the shining example of how BC’s craft beer industry can – and should – look (and taste). Unlike Victoria, the Vancouver breweries have cultivated a tasting room culture, which has been vital in educating those who had no previous interest in beer. It’s also helped foster a particular sense of community and identity that BC has never really seen until now. And unlike Yeast Van, Vancouver’s other unofﬁcial brewery district, Brewery Creek is smaller, more concentrated, and anchored by a single arterial road. Main Street was already a cultural hub, and it’s combination of condos, boutiques, restaurants, bars and industrial space has made a fertile environment for which the industry and the culture could blossom (and adding to the vitality of the already trendy neighbourhood). But this isn’t anything new. Brewery Creek was home to a brewery district over 100 years ago. It’s named after an actual creek that used to run down Mt. Pleasant, the banks of which were home to numerous breweries in the late 19th

lineup and building one of the better tasting rooms in BC, which should be opening any day now. Beer to try: East Side Bitter

M A N I TO B A S T

@StephenSmys

and early 20th centuries. “Before 1880, Mt. Pleasant was mostly untamed wilderness,” local author Jesse Donaldson writes. “But, by the end of the decade, as Vancouver’s population exploded, the banks of Brewery Creek were suddenly packed with all manner of businesses – including a tannery, slaughterhouses, and eventually, multiple breweries – and its roar slowed to a trickle as industry dammed every inch of its length.” By the 1890s, the brewery industry here was booming, but had started to dwindle by the 1920s. Prohibition effectively killed it off and there wasn’t another brewery active in the area until R&B Brewing set up shop on East 4th, between Quebec and Ontario streets, in 1997. But as the province and the city loosened its collective grip on alcohol production and consumption, the neighbourhood’s central location and available industrial space made it an ideal location to start a brewery. More than a few people had the same idea. And now here we are. Now, a guide to those breweries, in case you’re not aware.

CO LU M B I A ST

Stephen Smysnuik The Growler

E BRO ADWAY

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Eugene Choo owner Kildare Curtis is rolling out the boutique’s spring collection in store and online at EugeneChoo.com this Friday. Dan Toulgoet photo

Times change, style remains

Eugene Choo a Main Street staple for 16 years Niki Hope Style File

@NikiMHope A lot has changed on Main Street since Kildare Curtis opened his unisex clothing boutique, Eugene Choo, 16 years ago. Foot trafﬁc has increased substantially, there’s more destination shoppers, and better places to eat have popped up, but what’s stayed the same is Curtis’s commitment to stocking his store with quality, timeless threads. “It was good, but it really relied upon community support, there wasn’t a lot of destination shopping and very little foot trafﬁc,” Curtis says, recalling the early days on Main Street. He started with a vintage store three years before joining up with his sister, Fiona Curtis (who also had her own retail store), to open Eugene Choo. He decided to make the leap from vintage to new clothes after one too many people came in asking for the same thing – like classic black plain trousers. In the vintage game, you had to live with what showed up, while opening a boutique meant he could meet his customers’ demands. The name of the quirky store was inspired by a friend Curtis knew when he was a kid. “The code name we used when we were talking about merging the two stores was Eugene Choo. For whatever reason, the name just stood out, and then neither of us could compromise on the name is how it kind of boiled down, so it kind of stuck,” Curtis says. The store signage reads “Welcome home Eugene Choo” and was intended for the namesake childhood friend if he ever turned up.

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So far, no word from the original Eugene Choo, but a handful of people with the name “Eugene Choo” have turned up at the store over the years. “It’s usually that I can spot it happening because somebody will stand in front of the store and get their picture taken under the sign,” Curtis explains. Curtis took over the business from his sister in 2006 and continued the unisex business model. These days, Curtis says his business is about 40 per cent male shoppers and 60 per cent female – pretty good odds considering that women generally shop more. Stylish men know that Eugene Choo is one of those brilliantly curated shops that offers the right mix of casual and classic clothes as well as a wellrounded wardrobe. Need the perfect black turtleneck? Check out Eugene Choo. The right pair of stylish, quality denim? It’s pretty safe to say Eugene Choo will have them. During his buying trips to New York, often accompanied by his wife, The Block boutique owner Jennifer MacKay, Curtis looks for clothes that he himself would wear – those with quality fabrics and ﬁts. This season’s line was inspired by Pablo Picasso and Francoise Gilot in the south of France, vintage children’s summer play-suits, and a Paul Poiret men’s tunic. They imported beautiful fabric from Japan for the collection – designed by Heather Young – of interchangeable, mix-and-match wardrobe pieces that are designed as much for the studio as they are for the beach. Currently, some of the favourite lines Curtis is carrying in the store include the United Kingdom’s Universal Works, which he describes as having a soft construction with a utilitarian vibe to it: “Stylish older English gentlemen meets Japanese,”

he says. Oliver Spencer, also out of the UK, has a British vibe that’s not mod, but more classic, and detailedoriented without being fussy. On a more casual tip, there is Oh Dawn from Denmark, a Danish surf-inspired line with a clean Scandinavian aesthetic. There are also more unique lines that will turn up on the racks at Eugene Choo this fall. W

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Know your limit, play within it. March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 9

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Bodega reborn with East Side edge Anya Levykh Nosh

@FoodgirlFriday BODEGA ON MAIN

1014 Main 604-565-8815 BodegaOnMain.ca Open Monday-Friday, 11am until late; Saturday-Sunday, 4:30pm until late.

Top: Bodega on Main’s paella mixta. Bottom: Manager Hector Medina. Dan Toulgoet photos

10 W March 31 - April 6, 2016

Some of my fondest memories from my university days were the nights I spent with friends at La Bodega on Howe Street.We would chow down on patatas bravas, ceviche and beef tongue for a handful of dollars, and get a bit tipsy on the pitchers of sangria. When it closed last year, the inevitable sigh of farewell was tempered by the anticipation that Paul Rivas, the son of one of the co-owners, would be opening his own incarnation on Main Street in a few short months. Bodega opened last fall and has now fully emerged as a welcome addition to the Main Street/Chinatown dining scene. My ﬁrst visit several months ago was late at night with a couple friends for sangria and snacks.

We nibbled on salty-sweet Marcona almonds tinged with rosemary, and housemarinated olives ($7 each). The sangria, available by the glass, half- and full pitcher, was strong enough to strip paint and made me think my taste buds must have been deadened in my 20s from all that tequila (but that’s another story). A second shot on another visit was more enjoyable. The sangria this time was more balanced, although I still wouldn’t recommend chugging it on an empty stomach if you want to be sober by morning.You could also skip it altogether and go with one of the lovely cavas or a glass off the truly solid wine list, which exclusively features Spanish varietals and blends. A 2013 Albariño was a steal at $14, as was a GarnachaTempranillo from Jumilla. The new room is larger, brighter and more hip than its predecessor, although a lot of the décor and fixtures moved over. One wall is papered with vintage bull-fighting and flamenco posters, and the leather banquette is bordered with ornately carved dark wood tables. Bar seating at the back is perfect for drinks and

after-work decompression, while the front tables make for a sunny lunch spot. As with the room, the menu is larger and more contemporary than the original. Classics like the twice-fried potatoes, prawns in sherry, garlic and chillies, and the ceviche are still there. The chicken wings ($7) are still brined and deep-fried to a perfectlycrunchy exterior with juicy meat. A little more seasoning would have been appreciated, but the textures were fantastic. Lengua estofada ($8) was marvellous. Thick, soft, fork-tender slices of beef tongue are served in a piquant and rich tomato sauce studded with onions and capers. The only thing missing was some bread with which to mop up the sauce. Make time for the paella ($28). This is deﬁnitely meant to be shared among three or four, and can be ordered in both classic “mixto” form and a new seafood and squid ink version. I tried the latter, which was slightly salty and briny, with a generous mix of prawns, squid, mussels, clams and langoustines, all brightened with hits of fresh lemon. My only

quibble with this dish was the need for ﬁnger intervention with the langoustines, which were quite resistant to coming out of their shells. With a tomato-based sauce, this isn’t as much of an issue, but squid ink is a semi-permanent stain that neither hot water and lemon, nor a solid soap-scrubbing, will make a dent in. I looked like I’d been out in the garden and forgotten to wash my hands. Desserts were hit and miss. Churros ($7) with vanilla mascarpone and warm dark chocolate sauce were excellent. Rice pudding ($7), on the other hand, was not.The pudding itself was cold, heavy and tasted canned, despite the decent dulce de leche drizzled on top. Aged manchego ($8) was better, cut in triangles and topped with quince jelly. Weekday happy hour is between 3pm and 6pm, and late-night hours will hopefully soon be extended to 1am, if the city doesn’t put up too much of a fuss. W Food: !!!!! Service: !!!!! Ambiance: !!!!! Value: !!!!! Overall: !!!!!

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Big laughs at Little Mountain Gallery

KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

Comedian Ross Dauk spends more than an hour each week just writing and creating the event description for Jokes Please on Facebook. More than just a means to remind people about the recurring Main Street comedy night, Dauk also uses the social media platform to riff on everything from his fellow cohosts to hot tubs to bears. It’s his little gift to the supporters of Jokes Please – something to genuinely chortle at as he, and all your other friends, fill your Facebook feed with tedious event invites. But, be warned: just because the event implies it’s a night of all bear jokes, doesn’t mean it’s really a night of all bear jokes. “My phone number is the Jokes Please phone number on the Internet, right? And people call it two or three times a year, maximum,” explains Dauk. “The day of the bear [post], three people called me asking, ‘Hey, do you have a bear comedy show tonight?’ “I’m like, ‘Uh yeah… 100 per cent bear stuff,’” he deadpans. “And none of them came! I went on stage asking if anyone called the Jokes Please number and it was none of them. So three weirdos called the Jokes Please number thinking, ‘FINALLY! Finally the bear show is happening,’” he laughs. And those bear-loving no-shows would have definitely missed out. Jokes Please, a standup show taking place every Thursday at the charmingly drafty and decrepit Little Mountain Gallery on 26th, truly lives up to its hidden gem status. If you didn’t already know about the show, or see the brightly-lit sign in the window declaring that it’s a comedy night, you might think it a hole-in-the-wall meeting of some nihilistic hipster clan. But take one step inside the front door and you’ve entered a figuratively warm and literally welcoming space – a place where newcomers can sit in the well-worn theatre seats or luxurious folding chairs provided, and sip $4 beers as a curated lineup works out their bits and pieces in peace. Every night opens with about 20 minutes of fresh material courtesy of the host, or hosts, who are

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Don’t bring your shitty comedy-club attitude here. Jokes Please, hosted by Ivan Decker, Ross Dauk and Andy Kallstrom (not pictured) is a relaxed, weekly standup night where comedians feel free to experiment. Dan Toulgoet photo never far away – jogging back on stage between sets to poke fun at their friends, chat with the audience, or help segue into the next act. Some of it is prepared but a lot of it is improvised crowd work, between which a selection of comedians from far and wide take the stage for their short, snappy sets. The night we attended recently featured top-notch regulars Brent Constantine and Jane Stanton, as well as sometime-host and Matt Damon look-alike Ivan Decker, who brings his own brand of national (nearinternational) cachet to the show. Meanwhile, rotating guests have included the team behind popular Canadian satire website The Syrup Trap, as well as local legend Graham Clark, who is known – among his Laugh Gallery nights at Havana, Wilderness Man exploits, and enchanting beard paintings – for his comedic readings of the phone book, which he worked on for a number of weeks out of Jokes Please. “There were a lot of people there every week who saw Graham talk about the phone book like, ﬁve or six weeks in a row, and it was pretty fascinating,” Dauk recalls. “Some people still bring it up, like, ‘Oh, is that phone book guy going to be here?’ And I’m like, that’s an amusing way to think of Graham Clark, multifaceted comedian.” The guests may change

but Dauk remains the centre of the Jokes Please universe. Between touring, opening for Todd Glass at last year’s Northwest Comedy Fest, and being ranked as one of the city’s best local comedians in the occasional public poll, the polite, Saskatchewan-born artist has his own standup career to take care of. However, he, and friends like part-time co-host and current Vancouver-Islander Andy Kallstrom, have also dedicated the last three years to making Jokes Please a place where the comedy is so fresh it belongs in a French bakery. “There’s sort of a premium on new material,” Dauk explains, “so it feels more alive than some shows.” “You can come back every single week if you wanted and it would always be different,” adds Decker, seated next to him at a busy, plant-lined Gastown café. Jokes Please (pronounced the same way you would ask the waiter for the cheque) also has the distinction of being the only weekly standup show at Little Mountain Gallery, which comes with the bonus of being surrounded by some of the best monthly sketch, standup and improv shows in the city. Managed by beloved local actor and improviser Ryan Beil, the room was rightly dubbed the “clubhouse of Main Street’s comedy scene” by Exclaim last year, and boasts a legacy of innovative programming in a town where you can now actually shake a

stick at a plethora of other buzzworthy comedy nights (think Hot Art Wet City’s

Come Draw With Me with Alicia Tobin, Sarah Bynoe’s Cottage Bistro and Emerald nights, Patrick Maliha’s movie roasts at the Rio, and Beil’s other outlets, The Sunday Service and Rapp Battlez at the Fox Cabaret). Like the events at Little Mountain Gallery, those shows succeed – and often sell out – largely because they strip away the structured comedy club clichés, and the expectant audiences that come with them. “People go to a comedy club in the same way that they take a kickboxing class on a Groupon,” complains Decker, before deftly mimicking the airs of a stuffy, scowling suburbanite: “‘Oh, I’ll try this out. Maybe I’ll like it. I’ll probably hate it… I want to hate it, because that’s a more interesting story. To go to work and tell everybody I hated something.’” “[Jokes Please] is a very fun, cool environment,” he counters, switching back to his regular, carnival barkerstyle voice. “You get to see a lot of the best comics in the city in an environment

where they’re a little bit more free. “As a person who tours a lot, it’s a way to come home and not have to do the jokes I’ve been doing on the road,” he continues. “You get pretty tired of your act after having done it so many times. I mean, it’s good, but you want to try to work out new stuff.” So, if you wanted to see an entire standup routine about bears, it wouldn’t raise any eyebrows among this crowd – the night swings from casual to experimental to straight-up weird in the time it takes for the theatre’s dish heater to complete a single swivel. And Dauk and Decker would probably try their best to oblige you, just for the shits of it. But only if you remember to say Please. W

JOKES PLEASE

runs every Thursday night at 9pm at Little Mountain Gallery (195 E 26th). Admission $5 at the door. Facebook.com/ pleasejokesplease/

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Mon-Fri: 10am-5pm Sat: 10am-5:30pm Sun/Hol: 12pm-5pm

March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 11

ARTS // CULTURE

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WHAT’S ON Th/31

Fr/01

Sa/02

Su/03

MUSIC

LITTLE GREEN CARS Irish folkrock band on tour in support of their latest release, Ephemera, with special guest John Mark Nelson. 9:30pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $13 at Red Cat, Zulu and TicketWeb.ca

STOP THE PIPELINES! START THE MUSIC! An evening of dancing and fun up against the fossil fuel industries; a benefit for Unist’ot’en camp featuring performances from Five Alarm Funk, the Boom Booms and Jack Garton & The Demon Squadron. 7:30pm at The Imperial. Tickets $20 at Red Cat, Highlife, Zulu and TicketWeb.ca

EKACHAI JEARAKUL Awardwinning classical Thai guitarist presents an intimate evening of song at the VSO School of Music. 7pm at Pyatt Hall. Tickets $20+ at VancouverGuitar.org

ACOUSTIC NIGHT 3.0 An intimate evening of performances from JB Mason, Foxx and Swann, David Alexander, Tommy Vixon and Angel Edwards. 8pm at Studio Records. Tickets $12 at TicketWeb.ca

GOLDROOM LA based electronic musician and producer takes the stage with JackLNDN and Pat Lok. 8pm at Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $15 at Red Cat, Zulu, Beat Street and TicketWeb.ca

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE American metalcore band from Massachusetts with special guests Memphis May Fire and 36 Crazyfists. 6pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $46 at Red Cat, Scrape and TicketFly.com. All ages show.

DECIBEL MAGAZINE TOUR Foremost heavy metal authority is back with another national tour featuring live performances from Abbath, Tribulation, High On Fire and Skeletonwitch. 8pm at Commodore Ballroom. Tickets $35+ at Ticketmaster.ca and LiveNation.com

COMEDY

YUNG LEAN Swedish rapper and producer returns to Vancouver in support of his latest release, Warlord, with special guest Thaiboy Digitial. 9pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $30 at Red Cat, Zulu, Dipt and TicketWeb.ca RA RA RIOT American indie rockers from Syracuse tour in support of Need Your Light, with All The Kids and Pwr Bttm. 9pm at Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $18+ at Red Cat and TicketFly.com THE WILD FEATHERS Nashville rockers on the road in support of their sophomore studio album, Lonely Is A Lifetime, with special guests the Shelters. 9pm at Venue. Tickets $17+ at Red Cat and LiveNation.com MU Vancouver duo celebrate the release of II with Gang Signs and Summering. 9pm at Fox Cabaret. Tickets $10 at Red Cat and TicketFly.com MY AIN COUNTRIE Traditional Scottish songs of exile and emigration from vocalist Elspeth McVeigh and fiddler Mark Sullivan. 7pm at Hycroft Manor. Tickets $20 at EventBrite.ca

COMEDY JULIAN MCCOLLOUGH Philadelphia actor, writer, producer and comedian best known for appearances on Love You, Mean It, Chelsea Lately and Guy Code brings his stand-up to the stage after touring the late night circuit with Ben McGinnis and Patrick Maliha.

CHEAP & FUN VINYL ART AND LEISURE An art show packed with records and vinyl DJs is Vancouver’s first popup record shop and listening party; bring your records to swap with friends, or your cash to build your collection. 6pm-10pm at Vancouver Art and Leisure (1965 Main). Admission is free.

WOLFMOTHER Grammy Awardwinning rockers from Australia on tour in support of Victorius with special guest Deap Valley. 8pm at Commodore Ballroom. Tickets $33.50+ at Ticketmaster.ca and LiveNation.com DENZEL CURRY Florida rapper returns to Vancouver on The Ult Experience Tour, with special guests Allan Kingdom and JK The Reaper. 10pm at Alexander Gastown. Tickets $15 at DIPT, Beat Street and TicketWeb.ca METRIC & DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE Canadian indie rock band co-headlines with the Seattle indie darlings for the Lights on the Horizon tour. 6:45pm at Thunderbird Stadium (UBC). Tickets $40.50+ at Ticketmaster.ca and LiveNation.com. All ages show. DIARRHEA PLANET Nashville six-piece punk rock band on tour in support of their latest release Aliens in the Outfield, with special guests Music Band and Dead Soft. 8pm at Rickshaw Theatre. Tickets $12 at Red Cat, Zulu, Neptoon, Highlife and TicketFly.com HASHTEROID Vancouver rock band throws a vinyl release party with special guests M16, Hallux and Woe Monger. 9:30pm at SBC Restaurant. Cover is $10. 88 TUNED BONGOS Cutting-edge piano and keyboard series continues with pianist Xenia Pestova and tabla player Shawn Mativetsky, performing an eclectic programme of new music for toy piano, harmonium and tablas. 8pm at Western Front. Tickets $15 at Western-Front.MyShopify. com. All ages show.

PRINCE RAMA Two-piece psychdance band from Brooklyn play an early show in support of their latest release, Xtreme Now, with special guests Dinner and Pavel. 7pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $10 at TicketFly.com

COMEDY SEAN TWEEDLEY LA comedian and writer whose credits include The Mike Bullard Show, Alf’s Late Night Talk Show and a starring role on The Warm-Up Show brings his stand-up to the stage after opening sets from Eddie Della Siepe and Sunee Dhaliwal. 8pm at Yuk Yuk’s. Tickets $20 at YukYuks. com

THEATRE/DANCE CRIMES OF THE HEART Babe Magrath has just shot her husband, and as her family of sisters reunite to deal with their newest tragedy, secrets star t bubbling to the surface in this beautiful portrait of three unconventional sisters and the love that unites them from award-winning playwright Beth Henley. 7pm at Little Mountain Gallery. Tickets $20 at BrownPaperTickets.com and at the door. Runs until April 3, and again April 8-10.

Goldroom, April 2 COMPANHIA URBANA DE DANÇA Eight dancers from Rio de Janeiro on their first Canadian tour, tear up the stage with a high-energy fusion of hip-hop, samba, capoeira, and contemporary dance in boldly imaginative choreography from Sonia Destri Lie. 8pm at Vancouver Playhouse. Tickets at DanceHouse.ca THE CROWD A wedding, an arrest, a celebration, a snitch. A little gang warfare and Beyonce’s greatest hits. Tina and Bobby, the beloved couple from Tough! and Moss Park continue the struggle to find their place in the world in this fast-paced tragicomedy from Canadian playwright George F. Walker. 8pm at Studio 58. Tickets at TicketsTonight.ca. Runs until April 3. ONEGIN Life is quiet on the Larin family’s Russian country estate, until the charismatic Evgeni Onegin ignites the romantic longings of its residents in this passionate new musical (based on the poem by Pushkin) with a dynamic score (based on the opera by Tchaikovsky); a musical experience as immersive as love itself. 2pm & 8pm at Goldcorp Stage at BMO Centre. Tickets at ArtsClub.com. Runs until April 10.

THE SUNDAY SERVICE The award-winning improv comedy troupe brings their high energy commitment to comedy with a little slapstick shtick, carrying the audience through a kaleidoscopic trip where scenes barrel into tangents and stories smash together creating comedy gold. 9pm at Fox Cabaret. Tickets $7 at the door.

CHEAP & FUN THE 5TH ANNUAL MR./MISS COBALT DRAG COMPETITION Your homo away from home plays host to the prestigious East Van Drag Competition, where may compete but only one wins, determined by an audience ballot and your judges Isolde N. Barron and Rose Butch, hosted by Peach Cobblah. 8pm at The Cobalt. Cover is $7. Runs weekly until April 22.

Mo/04

Killswitch Engage, April 3

COMEDY THE LAUGH GALLERY WITH GRAHAM CLARK Join the East Van comedian and his pals for guaranteed laughs and a shot at winning thrift store treasures at one of the longest running comedy shows in town. 9pm at Havana Theatre. Tickets $5 at EastVanComedy.com QUEER PROV Back for another year of hilarious antics, Vancouver’s unique Queer Improv Comedy troupe hits the stage featuring Pearce Visser, Amy Lucille, Jamie Chrest, Shane Edwards, Aamir Khan, and Josh Rimer. 8pm at XY (1216 Bute).

ART MASHUP: THE BIRTH OF MODERN CULTURE One hundred years ago, something happened that changed the way we think about art and the way we see the world. The last time this happened they called it the renaissance, this time we’ve called it mashup. This groundbreaking exhibition takes over all four floors of the VAG, documenting the evolution of a mode of creativity that has grown to become the dominant form of cultural production in the 21st century. 10am-5pm at Vancouver Art Gallery. Tickets at Tickets. VanArtGallery.bc.ca. Runs until June 12. Admission is by donation from 10am-1pm for seniors 65+!

Elephant Revival, April 7

DEAD METAPHOR This dark comedy from George F. Walker explores what happens when a former sniper in Afghanistan returns home to Canada to find the job market at home doesn’t exactly suit his particular skill set. 8pm at Firehall Arts Centre. Tickets at FirehallArtsCentre.com. Runs until April 23.

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ARTS // CULTURE

WHAT’S ON Tu/05

We/06

Th/07

MUSIC

FATHER JOHN MISTY American singer-songwriter-guitarist and drummer returns to Vancouver with special guests Tess & Dave. 8pm at Orpheum Theatre. Tickets $25+ at Ticketmaster.ca and LiveNation.com

TERENCE JACK Indie folk rocker plays tunes from the recently released Never Get Back EP on the eve of a 30-date cross-Canada tour with Portland’s The Weather Machine. 7pm at Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $10 at TicketFly.com or $12 at the door.

ELEPHANT REVIVAL Folk rock band out of Colorado play in support of their newest release, Petals, with special guest Mandolin Orange. 8:30pm at Fox Cabaret. Tickets $25 at TicketZone.com

BANE Hardcore band from Massachusetts celebrates 20 years with one final tour with opening acts Twitching Tongues and Axis. 8pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $18 at Red Cat, Zulu and TicketWeb.ca ACE MARTENS Throwback shoegaze full of dreamy guitar as the Vancouver artist releases the Palm Springs EP with special guest Daniel Rincon. 9:30pm at The Lido. No cover.

THEATRE/DANCE THE LARAMIE PROJECT A cast of nine actors portray 65 characters in this production of the story of Matthew Shepard, who was beaten and left to die outside of Laramie, Wyoming, awakening the world to the abuse and bullying rampant in small American towns. 7:30pm at Studio 1398. Tickets $10+ at BrownPaperTickets.com. Runs until April 3. THE INVISIBLE HAND A timely political thriller from Pulitizer Prize-winning playwright Ayad Akhtar is a provocative piece following a kidnapped American trader in Pakistan playing the market for his life admist financial chaos and political vindication. 8pm at The Cultch. Tickets at Tickets.TheCultch.com. Runs until April 23.

ART BRIAN HOWELL: A SURVEY Canadian photographer, noted for large scale projects examining vernacular expressions of shifting societal and personal values presents this exhibition featuring works from the past 25 years. 10am-6pm at Winsor Gallery. Runs until April 26, with artist talk and interview April 14.

THEATRE/DANCE GRUESOME PLAYGROUND INJURIES A fascinating and tender story traces the ricocheting dynamics between a corrosive masochist and an accident-prone daredevil over the course of 30 years as they spar, spat and haltingly try to rescue one another. 8pm at Pacific Theatre. Tickets at PacificTheatre. org. Runs until April 16. THE GOVERNMENT INSPECTOR When an incognito inspector arrives to investigate the corrupt officials of a small Russian town, their flurry of activity to cover up their misdeeds is interrupted by news of a suspicious person staying at the inn. 8pm at Jericho Arts Centre. Tickets at JerichoArtsCentre.com. Runs until April 17. GOOD PEOPLE In South Boston, where paycheques hardly make the rent and a night on the town consists of a few rounds of bingo, Margie finds herself down on her luck in this shrewd character-driven comedy that asks why some people manage to change their fortune, and some don’t. 1:30pm & 7:30pm at Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage. Tickets at ArtsClub. com. Runs until April 24.

Father John Misty, April 5

DAVID FRANCEY Canadian folk singer-songwriter graces Rogue Folk Club with tunes old and new, accompanied by guitarist Mark Westberg and guitarist/ banjo-picker Chris Coole. 8pm at St. James Hall. Tickets $30 at Highlife, Rufus’ Guitars, Tapestry Music and RogueFolk.bc.ca LA FIN ABSOLUTE DU MONDE Neo-noir band from West Oakland on tour in support of their latest release Clarity Amongst the Rubble with special guest Elza. 8pm at Rickshaw Theatre. Tickets $10 at Red Cat, Highlife, Neptoon, Zulu and TicketFly. com

COMEDY DARCY MICHAEL Widely considered one of Canada’s fastest rising comics, the Ladner comedian has performed at Winnipeg and Global Comedy Festivals, on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, as well as appearances on various television series and CTV’s Spun Out. 8:30pm at Comedy Mix. Tickets $15 at TheComedyMix.com

THEATRE/DANCE GOING HOME STAR: TRUTH + RECONCILIATION Royal Winnipeg Ballet, in collaboration with Canada’s Truth & Reconciliation Commission present this transformative and poignant classical ballet featuring the music of throat singer Tanya Tagaq and Steve Wood & the Northern Cree Singers, honouring the stories of First Nations Residential School survivors and their families. 8pm at Queen Elizabeth Theatre. Tickets at Ticketmaster.ca. Runs until April 9.

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March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 13

ARTS // CULTURE

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FILM & TV

Speaking Hollywood with Shawn Williamson Head of Brightlight Pictures works north-south to produce ﬁlm and TV Sabrina Furminger Reel People @Sabrinarmf

Shawn Williamson might not be a household name, but many of his projects come close: Wayward Pines, White Noise, Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever, and a little film that spawned an international incident with a hot-tempered dictator, 2014’s The Interview. But Williamson has never wanted to be a household name. For decades, he’s been laser-focused on nurturing projects from behind the scenes. Before Williamson was one of the most influential producers in the local film industry – he’s the president and co-founder of Brightlight Pictures, a company whose credit list includes dozens of film and TV properties – he was an up-and-coming stage manager working backstage at the Arts Club. For seven years, the Vancouver native stage-managed theatrical productions – 25 in all. “I’ve always been a support guy, so that’s what I loved about theatre,” says Williamson on the phone from the Wayward Pines production office. “As a stage manager, I was trained to support the script, the writer, the director, and the actors, and to this day, we use the same philosophy.” His first producer credit in the realm of screen-based entertainment grew out of his stage work: he produced a telethon for Variety. This was quickly followed up by a producing job on Lamb

REVIEW // BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

Starring Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill Directed by Zack Snyder Dark, dismal, and downright dull – Zack Snyder’s latest grim take on DC’s most beloved characters raises some interesting questions but never bothers to answer them. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice delivers in the action spectacle de-

Vancouver producer Shawn Williamson. Contributed photo Chop’s Play-Along, a gig he won because the Shari Lewis ahow was videotaped, and the telethon had given him experience working in the videotape realm. “I was intrigued by television, and it was familiar, because it was storytelling,” says Williamson. “The audience is the camera instead of a live audience.” Williamson co-founded Brightlight Pictures with Stephen Hegyes in 2001. Although Hegyes left the company in 2012, the aim of the company has remained essentially unchanged since its founding: to produce an array of work for partners in Canada, the United States, and around the globe. Highlights to date include White Noise, 50/50, Mistresses, Witches of East End, and the upcoming The 9th Life of Louis Drax, starring Jamie

partment as Ben Affleck’s Caped Crusader and Henry Cavill’s Man of Steel trade their fair share of supersized blows. However, the murky reason why the two are fighting in the first place and the subsequent justification for putting their differences aside to become Justice League BFFs are each astoundingly stupid. The film’s vacuous plot is on one hand blandly predictable and yet needlessly cluttered as it becomes clear the producers are more concerned with setting up

14 W March 31 - April 6, 2016

Dornan, Sarah Gadon, and Aaron Paul. The challenges have also remained pretty much unchanged since those early days. It’s always a challenge to package and ﬁnance new projects, and seemingly more so in Vancouver, which is a “hub for shooting, but it’s not a hub for development,” says Williamson. “It’s a great production centre to go and shoot, but it’s not somewhere where most people go to look to package writers, directors, and actors.” And so Williamson has had to master the art of working north-south, and to learn to “speak ‘Hollywood,’ which is a different language, and if you’re not in that club, it’s very difﬁcult to get into it,” says Williamson, who received a star on BC Entertainment Hall of Fame’s Star Walk in 2014. “You get

future movies rather than telling a decent story. Bruce Wayne/Batman is mad at Superman for causing all that destruction in the previous ﬁlm, Lex Luthor (a completely bonkers Jesse Eisenberg) is mad at both of them, and Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) shows up to help save the day. The serious tone borders on self-parody at times and the clunky, expository script makes Clark Kent and Lois Lane’s painful dialogue sound like a Harlequin romance novel.

into it by producing either high-quality product or commercially successful product, or both, ideally.” Over the last couple of years, Williamson has managed $353 million in total volume over 32 projects: seven feature films, 19 television movies, two pilots, and four series. One of those films was The Interview. Williamson says he learned plenty of lessons via that particular project (a film which – indirectly or otherwise – led to the Sony hack and not-so-veiled threats from North Korea). “If it had been a fictitious Asian country that most people could figure out was likely North Korea, it’s one thing,” says Williamson. “But we very directly set it in North Korea and used the existing leader as an element in the film, and that was the biggest lesson to come out of that is that choice comes with its challenges.” Williamson is currently producing a Netflix series called Haters Back Off, a scripted series written by and starring YouTube sensation Colleen Ballinger-Evans (AKA Miranda Sings). “This is somebody who most of us walking down the street wouldn’t recognize, but within her world, she is huge, and that sort of entertainment I find fascinating and I’m so happy to be attached,” says Williamson. “It’s something that, five years ago, wouldn’t have existed, for two reasons: nobody fully understood at that time the value of YouTube, and Netflix didn’t exist the way they do now. They were once a place that bought material, and now they’re a place that produces really more than anyone else.” W ; $?9 + @?C=,<4< ,2742A8 ?: %92854,2854 (2@419<7) =9?0<@47& /2724 %92854,2854(2@419<7*@?C*

However, the movie is not unwatchable. Once the setup occurs there is plenty of action, Affleck is a formidable Batman, and Gadot’s underused Amazonian superheroine is exciting to watch as her upcoming standalone origin film remains genuinely intriguing. Yet, the fundamental problem still persists; Batman v Superman is the latest hodge-podge of clichés and tropes that breeds cynicism amongst superhero movie audiences. W –Thor Diakow

Ross Munro wrote, directs and stars in A Legacy of Whining. SABRINA FURMINGER @sabrinarmf

National Canadian Film Day will return to cinemas across the country on April 20 – but in Vancouver, we’ve got an entire week to celebrate. VIFF Vancity Theatre is the force behind Canadian Film Week, a seven-day showcase of homegrown cinema during which a dozen films will grace the big screen. Watch for the North American premiere of the BC-made (but Japan-set) The People Garden, and a freshly-restored version of 1923’s The Grubstake Remix, written, produced and starring Victoria’s Nell Shipman. Vancouver films on the schedule include FSM, Silent Legend (about film pioneer Mack Sennett), Whistler Film Festival standout Patterson’sWager, and the brilliantly executed mock-doc No Men Beyond This Point. One wacky highlight: Taking Shelter, a “collage” movie made up entirely of snippets from over 400 Canadian tax shelter flicks from the 1970s featuring Donald Sutherland, Christopher Plummer, and John Candy. April 15-21 at VIFF Vancity Theatre. Details at VIFF.org. If you’ve ever wondered what Cameron Crowe’s classic coming-of-age screenplay Almost Famous would sound like if read by an all-women cast, you should plan to mosey on down to the Rio Theatre on April 11, where an all-star cast – including Diana Bang (The Interview), Julia-Sarah Stone (TIFF Rising Star ‘14), Katharine Isabelle (Hannibal), Erica Carroll (Supernatural), Marci T. House (Strange Empire), Enid-Raye Adams (Arrow), Mayumi Yoshida (The Man in the High Castle) and Ali Liebert (Bomb Girls) – will perform the famed screenplay as part of the Feminist Live Reads series. The brainchild of writer/director Chandler Levack, Feminist Live Reads aims to promote diversity and raise awareness of the disparity of roles available for women in film and television. All proceeds from the reading will benefit Girls Rock Camp Vancouver. Advance tickets at RioTheatreTickets.ca. Indie film alert: A Legacy of Whining will have its

world premiere this week. Written and directed by Ross Munro and inspired by 1970s American buddy films, the Vancouver indie stars Munro and Robert David Duncan as high school friends who reunite after 30 years “and embark on a darkly humorous nocturnal fever dream of a journey where old emotions and resentments bubble to the surface once again” (from the press release). April 5 at VIFF Vancity Theatre. Details at VIFF.org. Vancouver-based actordirector Peter DeLuise received a Daytime Emmy nomination for Outstanding Directing Special Class for his work on R.L. Stine’s Monsterville:The Cabinet of Souls. The 43rd Annual Daytime Emmys will be handed out on April 29 and May 1 in Los Angeles. DeLuise won a 2015 Leo Award for Best Direction in a Television Movie for Zapped. Speaking of the Leo Awards, this year’s batch of awards will be handed out on June 4 and 5. The Leo Awards recognize achievement in BC’s film and television industry, and had grown to three nights for its 2015 edition. The ceremonies aren’t broadcast, but Reel People will be present for both nights; watch this space for pre-event coverage and @sabrinarmf for live-tweets. The nominations will be announced in early May. Over the course of its history, the film production program at the University of British Columbia has shaped the minds and skill sets of some of Canada’s most compelling filmmakers – and as part of the UBC100 Arts and Culture Initiatives, the UBC Next 100 Film Festival will celebrate past students and showcase a sample of the work of the 400+ film production alumni. Including work from early alumni Larry Kent, John Pozer and Mina Shum, recent alumni Jamie Travis and Nimsha Mukerji, cinematographers Greg Middleton, Amy Belling and Stirling Bancroft, editor Alison Grace, and producers Stephen Hegyes and Cari Green. April 2 at VIFF Vancity Theatre. Full program at VIFF.org. W

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ARTS // CULTURE

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THEATRE

The Invisible Hand strikes back KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

The plot of The Invisible Hand could have been ripped straight from the headlines: An American is kidnapped in Pakistan and held for ransom by Islamic extremists. But instead of a journalist or aid worker, the play follows the plight of high-level bank employee Nick Bright. For three weeks, Nick knows only the walls of his cell and the constant spectre of death. Until, that is, he realizes that he possess the financial skills to raise his own ransom on the stock market and begins to negotiate. Created by Pulitzer Prizewinning playwright Ayad Akhtar in 2012, The Invisible Hand is part financial lesson, part thriller – asking how far will we go to save ourselves, when it could mean handing the tools for political and financial chaos to the enemy? “I come to realize that I’m being seen as this figure of America, when I just think I’m out for my own self interest,” says Craig Erickson, who plays Nick in this Canadian premiere. “I’m just a banker, in my eyes, but [to my captors] I’m this total figure for how

Craig Erickson stars in Pi Theatre’s production of The Invisible Hand, running April 5-23 at the Cultch. Tim Matheson photo America has corrupted countries like Pakistan.” As resumés go, the character of naive, ignorant white guy is a familiar one for Erickson – “I’ve played a lot of assholes and racists,” the veteran actor admits, with a laugh – but Erickson says he was drawn to the role on the strength of Akhtar’s writing. “I’m learning a lot about banking and hedge funds and high-stakes trading. And the whole play is kind of a tight knot in Nick’s stomach, to be kidnapped and to keep thinking he knows the lay of the land, but it’s like shifting sand,” Erickson explains. “He does not have the power he thinks he does, so that’s a pretty cool terrain to navigate.”

One of theatre’s hottest contemporary voices, Akhtar’s previous work, Disgraced, was the most produced play in North American for the 2015-16 season.Theatregoers would have seen the emotional drama – the social undoing of a Westernized Muslim lawyer at a dinner party – presented by the Arts Club in Vancouver last October. Disgraced’s success, in part, comes from being able to insert complex global issues squarely into the lives of the wealthy middle class. The Invisible Hand, as Pi Theatre director Richard Wolfe explains, has no such relatable luxury. “Unlike Disgraced, it doesn’t take place in a living room – it isn’t a kind of upper-middle

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class drama, which is a bit conventional, you know? But it takes place in Pakistan and is a kidnapping story that draws parallels between fundamentalist religious views and fundamentalist views of capitalism.” Controversial and at times violent, it’s the type of edgy, uncompromising work that Pi has been producing for the past 30 years. “In this play, the idea of money touches all of the characters,”Wolfe explains, “and they all succumb to the invisible hand of the market in the idea of money inﬂuencing their behaviour. And then, again, you have to ask, well where does personal responsibility lie in making these choices? “The Guardian review [of The Invisible Hand] is very good,” he adds. “It talks about why, although the reviewer thinks The Invisible Hand is a better play than Disgraced, it won’t ever win the Pulitzer and it won’t ever be as popular because it’s not as black and white.These characters are all very grey.” W The Invisible Hand runs April 5-23 at the Cultch (1895 Venables).Tickets from $20; Tickets.TheCultch.com

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April may bring the inevitable showers but the greenery and blossoms in Vancouver suggest that winter is far behind us. Our selection of events this month includes exercise, dance, tech, comedy and kink—something for everyone. Business events include the Art of 10 .//0!1)2'1) Leadership for Women at the convention centre with a line up of celebrities from business, sport and the arts. Camp Tech offers a one-day workshop on “Wordpress for Beginners.” Those of you with a web presence might like to try out the LOUD Business events this month. Both our networking lunch on the 15th and breakfast on the 20th have speakers who will give tips on how to make the most of your web presence. LOUD Business events are open to all.

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Details of all the selected events this month are shown on the right. If you event Aprilhave mayan bring theto be featured then add inevitable showers butitthe to our website at www. in greenery and blossoms LOUDbusiness.com. Vancouver suggest that winter is far behind us. Our LOUD Business (formerly selection this the GLBA)ofisevents a not-formonthassociation includes exercise, profit founded dance, tech, comedy on our three pillars: and kink—something Networking, Community for everyone. Business and Philanthropy. events include the Art of Check us outfor at Women www. Leadership LOUDbusiness.com, join us at the convention centre at one of our Come with a line up events. of celebrities out be LOUD! fromand business, sport and the arts. Camp Tech offers a one-day workshop on “Wordpress for Beginners.” Those of you with a web presence might like to try out the LOUD Business events this month. Both our networking lunch on the 15th and breakfast on the 20th have speakers who will give tips on how to make the most of your web presence. LOUD Business events are open to all.

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April 1 & 2, 8:00pm Vancouver Playhouse, 600 Hamilton Street Find out more http://goo.gl/RZfiyJ loudbusiness.com LOUD LUNCH APRIL THE ART OF LEADERSHIP FOR A LOUD Business Event WOMEN LGBTQ Networking Friday, April 1, 8am-5pm Friday April 15, 12-2pm Vancouver Convention Centre Chateau Granville Hotel 1055 Canada Place 1100 Granville Street http://ow.ly/ZmjR0 https://goo.gl/y28TFF

Jasper shows its Pride Jasper, Alberta, is not an easy place to get to. It’s easily an eight hour drive from Vancouver, ﬁve hours from Calgary or four from Edmonton. And, being that you’ve got to pass through any number of one-horse towns en route to the alpine destination, it’s not a place commonly associated with an LGBTQ pride celebration. However, our beautiful and vast neighbouring province has a few things to tell us, and it’s high time we start listening. n a town of 5,000 people, one trafﬁc light and zero Starbucks, life is generally pretty quiet. But, for four days each March, Jasper welcomes over 1,000 LGBTQ folks and allies.

COMMUNITY

Pride in Jasper is a family affair, and not just because there are an abundance of family-friendly activities and entertainment throughout the four-day festival.You only have to spend 10 minutes along Connaught Drive to feel the small-town warmth that permeates this world-class destination. Independent businesses line the streets here, and rainbows dot every window, lamp post and hotel ﬂag

pole. Seven years ago, Lynn Wannop co-owner of Coco’s Café, placed a rainbow sticker in the window of her popular java stop and things have never been the same.Though initially there was some less than favourable rhetoric,Wannop would ultimately sew the seeds that would grow to become the Jasper Pride festival. Proving allies make a difference,Wannop says, everyone should feel safe and welcome in their own community.

DIVERSITY

Anyone who has been to a Pride festival knows there are guarantees. It will always be someone’s first Pride, there will undoubtedly be lots of leather, bare skin, and too much bass. And, the men will outnumber the women, significantly. Not so in Jasper. According to the festival committee, 54 per cent of the attendees are women and this year, LGBTQ revellers came from all over Canada, the US and for the first time, Europe. In terms of events, Jasper made sure there was something for everyone. From pillow making workshops and afternoon campfire sing-a-longs with

s’mores, to a GSA-led coffeehouse for LGBTQ youth, drag queens and kings, burlesque, boylesque, guided ice-cave adventures, skiing, snowboarding, movie nights, live music and even a Pride Beer, brewed especially for the festival by John Palko, of Jasper Brewing Company.

ANNUAL PRIDE GALA

Jasper is a town full of progressive, creative, classy types who also know how to party. So, when the festival board decided this year’s theme would be 007: From Jasper with Love, to mark its seventh year, the people of Jasper went full throttle. Dapper tuxedos adorned with rainbow hues, Sean Connery-era terrycloth numbers, and Goldeneye-clad onesies mingled at the ice-luge martini bar before a glittery, gender-bending grandstand of live performance featuring Edmonton boylesque troupe, Man Up, local drag queens and Virgin Radio’s Ian & Chelsea from 104.9 Edmonton.The entire business community of Jasper donated prizes for the silent auction and of course, there was a whole lot of Pride beer. W –Kristyn Anthony

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Details of all the selected events this month are shown on the right. If you have an event to be featured then add it to our website at www. LOUDbusiness.com. LOUD Business (formerly the GLBA) is a not-forprofit association founded on our three pillars: Networking, Community and 10Philanthropy. .//0!1)2'1)

SAFETALK

A Half-Day Workshop

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Budget offers hope for housing but no ‘delivery model’

ROMILA BARRYMAN @bizinvancouver

years. As a single mother with two children who has been using the co-op housing system for the past 25 years, Shaw says a particular red ﬂag in Budget 2016 are the opportunities on a “timelimited basis,” critiquing that time might be a luxury those outside the middle-class might not be able to afford. “We’re not even talking about bringing people to the middle class [with social housing], we’re talking about bringing them off the streets,” Shaw said. “So, if its time limited money - that’s of concern - but we’re not going to let that discourage us. I guess my immediate question is: what is the delivery model going to be? How are they going to deliver these subsidies?”

Affordability was top of mind for Canadians anticipating housing funds outlined in the federal budget, but many question the next steps in implementing the promised investments. While the investment in the Affordable Housing Initiative doubled, Co-operative Housing Federation of BC president Patty Shaw said she will be remaining “cautiously optimistic” until there is a strategic plan that can direct how funds will be allocated. “It’s the most positive news we’ve heard for co-op housing in a very long time,” she said of the $2.3 billion the government proposed nationally over the next two

While the government projects over 10,000 rental units could result from the $85.7 million support in construction of affordable rental housing, real estate lawyer and founder of Small Law Corp. Neil Mangan said the same questions of implementation arise. Mangan suggested that the ambiguous nature of the new funds might be due to the lack of information around why housing prices are disproportionately higher in B.C. than in other provinces, pointing to Budget 2016’s plan outside the affordable housing section to invest $500,000 in Statistic Canada to develop methods for gathering data on foreign homebuyer purchases. “It’s interesting that we have shockingly little infor-

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APRIl showERs Your time to look into real estate consulting? Need advice on upsizing, downsizing, retirement planning, investing, senior living, strata dissolution, developer buyout, strata, coop, leasehold, undivided interest; whatever your issue—we can help! No foolIN hERE! Buyers waiting for suites in the El Cid, Huntington, Sandpiper and Stratford’s concrete hirises off Denman. There is also a shortage of two bedrooms in the area. Please call if you or anyone you know is considering a move. Qualified local buyers ready to act!

WEN

West End Neighbours

TALK TO LIZ CARNEY 604 685-5951/603-3095

In Town Realty

STEPHEN BURKE

Yaletown

504-1088 Richards St, 1 bdrm + office, $538,000, Sun 1-4pm

3303-1372 Seymour St, 1 bdrm + den, $758,800, Thurs 5:30-7pm, Fri 10am-12pm, Sat & Sun 2-4pm

233 Robson St, 1 bdrm + den, Fri 10:30-12:30, Sat & Sun 2-4pm

604-551-4190

2 BR 2 bath 100% owner occupied Great for couple or young family Windows on 3 sides—sunny balcony Slate entry, maple flrs throughout MBR w/3 pce ensuite, N&S windows

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18 W March 31 - April 6, 2016

$289,000

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$639,900 1288 W GEORGIA LD SO

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1311 BEACH LD SO

1315 CARDERO

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2055 PENDRELL

1975 PENDRELL

LD SO

E 2nd bath w/jetted tub/rainforest shower OV D Sunny top floor w/ SE & NE exposure L Cozy gas fireplace, newer insuite WD SO SS kitch, granite counters, skylight Open plan, water views. Prk & Stor.

1554 BURNABY

False Creek

408-1680West 4th Ave, 1 bdrm + den, $578,800, Sat & Sun 2-4pm

Coquitlam

1563 Lodgepole Pl, 6 bdrm, $1,588,800, Thurs 4-7pm, Sat & Sun 2-5pm

604-714-1700

AIRY 1 LEVEL TOWNHOUSE STYLE

• • • • •

niors is going to be crucial,” Spear said. “It’s been really, really hard to get investment in that and to have more tailored support in mental health and addiction speciﬁcally for seniors, because that does not exist.” Following Budget 2016, Canadians will be looking on a provincial and municipal level for implementation of funds into various strategies and organizations which have the potential to inﬂuence future tax changes, an area Mangan noticed failed to be included. “What I’d like to see that isn’t addressed is how can we make changes to our general tax policies to real estate?” Mangan said. “Foreign homebuyers and capital is arguably a small impact on the market, and these strategic plans to address homelessness and social housing contain a lot of laudable measures but they are triage measures. “But what are we doing collectively that may contribute to the housing and affordability issue?” Vancouver Mayor, Gregor Robertson, however, was anticipating investments in affordable housing, calling the investments “solid” on his Twitter account. W # )5-2.,1& 5' *-1$!,11 $! %3!/5-+,2

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www.stephenburke.com

D L O S

Downtown

GR-3J 1077 Marinaside Cres, 1 bdrm + den, $749,000, 19 Sat 2-4pm

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SUTTON GROUP - WEST COAST REALTY 301-1508 W BROADWAY

in the housing industry in significant ways. “The real estate industry has long been a target for poor tax reporting practices, so really anything to step up enforcement is a positive thing,” Mangan said, adding that strengthening the Financial Transaction and Reports Analysis Centre of Canada (FINTRAC) would be an actionable next step. “Cracking down on the money laundering that we have seen well-established banks actively facilitate is very needed.” Also addressed was the $200.7 million over the next two years for affordable housing for seniors, $554 million in improvement of First Nations housing and an additional $111.8 million to tackle homelessness through the Homelessness Partnering Strategy. To see particular investments in these three areas is an aspect associate director of Raincity Housing Sean Spear said he finds positive. Raincity Housing, which provides shelter for those in the Lower Mainland, also work with housing residents who require possible support in the intersection of mental health and addiction. “We’re finding that the populations in our housings and services are aging and appropriate housing is for se-

Real Estate Opens

New info always available on the website; an opportunity for community to stay in touch and keep up on local issues. www.westendneighbours.ca

Niz.carneM@centJrM21.ca • www.vancouvercondo.com CentJrM 21 In TLIn ReaNtM • 421 PaciHic • 1030 Denman

mation about housing participants, like who they are and what they’re doing with the market,” Mangan said, explaining that the decision for research to be particularized to foreign homebuyers, as opposed to general purchases, is problematic. With the Affordable Housing Initiative expected to beneﬁt more than 100,000 Canadian households, Mangan predicts that the outcome of the data on foreign homebuyers will prove to be “boring,” having little impact on the Canadian housing economy and being an urban-center-speciﬁc issue. “There is a 7-10% hypothetical vacancy rate in downtown Vancouver,” he said. “To say that foreign homebuyers is the reason for this trend is a bit of a copout and can have racist, or at least xenophobic, undertones. “And to assume that there is no impact is impossible, but how do we really know [foreign home buyers] are having an appreciable difference? There’s just no data.” However, with foreign homebuying regulations being a provincial and municipal issue, Budget 2016’s allocation of $19 million of increased annual spending to crack down on tax evasion and aggressive tax avoidance affects the accountability

T LIS

$798,000 3743 W 2ND

$349,900

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1436 HARWOOD LD SO

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$1,425,000

$479,900

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$1,328,000 2055 PENDRELL

$1,088,000

LD SO

$3,150,000 2055 PENDRELL

$1,280,000 Westender.com

REAL ESTATE //

@WESTENDERVAN

www.dexterrealty.com 604-689-8226 Yaletown 604-336-3539 Main Street 604-263-1144 Kerrisdale

Taking our Listings Global

Connie McGinley 604-263-1144

504-1088 RICHARDS ST

604-318-5226 NEW LISTING

$538,000 501-1045 HARO ST

OPEN SUN 1-4PM JUST LISTED – You’ve heard it before….but this place won’t last long! RICHARDS LIVING built in 2011….LIKE NEW, but NO GST! This 1 bedroom and office/ storage is ready for you to move into today, with Stainless steel appliances, granite countertops in the Kitchen & Bathroom. Large covered balcony with doors to the Living room and Bedroom. Large windows with great natural light. Steps to Yaletown, shopping, great restaurants, entertainment, transportation & recreation. 1 Parking spot and the balance of the 2-5-10 year New Home Warranty. Building amenities include a 9th floor Garden courtyard, fitness centre and Amenities room. Rentals allowed and your pets are welcome too.

Evelyn Singer 604-314-4123

info@evelynsinger.com

www.evelynsinger.com

$1,550,000

COAL HARBOUR BEAUTY – Great MOUNTAIN & WATER VIEW. Spacious 3 bed, 2.5 baths, 1538 sq.ft. SUB-PENTHOUSE apartment located steps to Stanley Park, Coal Harbour Marina, Downtown theatres, shopping and fine dining. Excellent facilities – 24 hr concierge/security, indoor pool, gym, sauna & steam rooms. In addition to the numerous visitor parking stalls, this suite offers 3 parking stalls & 2 lockers. A wonderful place to call home!

Check out our website, www.dexterrealty.com for current market condition updates.

2609-1480 HOWE ST

ed@loftsvancouver.com www.loftsvancouver.com

GR-3J 1077 MARINASIDE CRES

Contact me for all your purchase, refinance and renewal options. Other rates and terms available.

CALL 604-805-5888

maureen@maureenyoung.ca | maureenyoung.ca

An Independently Owned & Operated Corporation

Westender.com

NEW LISTING

$749,000

OPEN SAT 2-4PM • Completely renovated 739 Sq.Ft. • 1 bedroom and den, 1 bathroom • Garden apartment, patio, balcony • Secured U/G parking

Surinder Holat 604-263-1144

www.surinderholat.com The Epitome of Style and Class – Shangri-La Luxury Residences! RARELY available, NW facing ICONIC SUB-PENTHOUSE. This 2 bed + Family room offers the BEST layout and the BEST corner with EXPANSIVE 270 degree views of English Bay Water to Coal Harbour to NS Mountains which can all be enjoyed from Inside your Home or Outside on your Generous Balcony. Well-appointed finishings for the most discerning owner – enjoy A/C, floor-to-ceiling windows, custom millwork, gourmet chef’s kitchen with S/S Miele & Subzero appliances & spa inspired bathrooms. This Estate Home has been generously updated with Built-ins and Extensive Millwork. 5 Star living w/ hotel amenities including 24HR concierge, fitness centre, infinity pool, CHI the Spa & restaurants/lounges. Shop boutique designer shops & Urban Fare at your doorstep. Amazing & RARE 2 side-by-side parking stalls & 2 ATTACHED storage lockers. The list goes on and on…. Call now for viewing.

loftsvancouver.com

Commercial Real Estate Needs? Dexter Associates Realty’s

Ed Gramauskas Cell: 604-618-9727

to set up your business or retail store, or are looking to buy an investment property we can help you. Call us at 604-689-8226 today.

Details & Photos of all lofts for sale in Vancouver

commercial team will answer all of your questions and will help with

PERSONAL REAL ESTATE CORPORATION

Certified Senior Agent & Luxury Marketing Specialist Thanks To Our Clients and Supporters In Helping Us Achieve Top 100 RE/MAX Realtors in Western Canada 2014 & 2015!

A Sophisticated Approach to Lifestyle Attainment. Professional Advisement and Marketing of Fine Vancouver Properties. Number One Realtor in Downtown Office 2012-2015 2014 & 2015 RE/MAX Chairman’s Club Award Winner

CURRENT LISTINGS:

FALSE CREEK

Rates subject to change without notice. O.A.C.

DIDYOU KNOW when buying a home you can include renovation costs in your mortgage? Ask me about how the Purchase Plus Improvements mortgage can work for you.

$817,800

PROXIMITY – The newest project from Bastion Development, completing spring 2016. PROXIMITY features 9’ ceilings & gourmet kitchens that include: Caesarstone counter tops with FULL SIZE Fisher Paykel, Bosch & GE appliances. Sleek Hydrocork vinyl flooring throughout. Spa inspired bathrooms, featuring Moen fixtures. Chill in the Club House or outside in Communal garden plots. Be a part of the new thriving community and lifestyle that is South East False Creek. Steps from the seawall, shopping, dining and recreation. PROXIMITY to everything in False Creek. Sales Center open noon to 5pm every day but Friday.

4202-1111 ALBERNI ST NEW LISTING $2,880,000

Ed Gramauskas 604-618-9727

CURRENT RATES

(Prime less 0.50%)

204-1788 ONTARIO ST

$1,199,000

Water views from every window of this gigantic, completely renovated corner suite right in the heart of Yaletown!

Senior Mortgage Advisor

3 Year Variable

$899,000

VANCOUVER HOUSE Exceptional, False Creek and city view home in the most iconic new development in the city’s history. Assignment, call for details.

MAUREEN YOUNG

2.49% 2.20%

$299,000

NEW LISTING

OUTSTANDING STUDIO – Newly renovated, open concept studio with massive outdoor space. Best location possible!

1205-283 DAVIE ST

3402-1238 MELVILLE ST

5 Year Fixed

Martin Ramond 604-263-1144

YALETOWN/ DOWNTOWN SOUTH

FALSE CREEK OFFER PENDING

SOLD 99% OF ASKING PRICE SOLD 99% OF ASKING PRICE OPEN SAT & SUN 2-4PM 408-1680 West 4th Ave, 1303-110 Switchmen St, PH07-1082 Seymour St, “The Lido,” $828,000 “The Mantra,” $578,800 “The Freesia, $858,000

• Like New, Stunning Designer Upgraded 920SQFT 2 Bed, 2 Bath • West Facing, Unobstructed False Creek Ocean Views • Luxury Miele Appliances, Finishings, & Air Conditioning! • 1 Parking, 1 Storage, Pets Allowed! • Rentals Allowed, (Currently Tenanted) • The “Lido” By Bosa - Best Building in False-creek! • 5 Star Amenities – Concierge, Business Center, Indoor Pool!

Crest Westside Ltd.

• Best Penthouse in the “Freesia Low-rise” • Family Size Home! Bring House-Size Furniture • 1130SQFt and 285SQFT on 2 Terraces! • 2 Bed & Den & Insuite Storage • Best Parking Stall in Building • Gorgeous Granite Counters & Best Floorplan • 24 Hour Concierge, Gym, Huge Bike Room • Rentals and Dogs Allowed • Great Location on Edge of Yaletown • Welcome Home!

Prepare to be MOVED™.

• Gorgeous City & FireworksViews— Luxury 1 Bed, Den & Bonus Flex by Cressy! • 7YearYoung,Almost 700SQFT • Beautiful Zen-Like Appointments and Finishings • Built-in Central Air-Conditioning • 1 Owner—Immaculately Kept—Like New! • 1 Parking, 1 Storage Locker, Pets and Rentals OK! • Walk to Famous 4th Ave Shops, Granville Island, Movies • New No Frills Grocery Store Right At Your Door!

STEVESTON NEW LISTING!

More on My Website at: www.MichaelDowling.ca WESTWOOD PLATEAU NEW LISTING!

SOLD WAY OVER OPENSTHURS 4-7PM, SAT & SUN 2-5PM ASKING IN 1 WEEK! 1563 Lodgepole Pl, Coquitlam, 45-11100 Railway Ave, Richmond,“Westwind Terrace,” $1,588,800 • Executive Custom “Show Home” $888,000

• 2,200SQFT, 2-level Executive Townhome • Feels Like A House • 2-3 Bedroom, 3 Bathroom • Private West Facing Yard • 2 Car Garage,Vaulted Ceiling Living Room • Close To Steveston Village, and Hiking Trails • Gated Secure Community • Great For Downsizers or Young Family • Welcome Home

4162 SQFT • Best Cul-D-Sac. Backs Onto “Street of Dreams” • 6 Beds (4 Up) 2 Down (7th Bed on Main Possible) • Many Updates, Gorgeous Finishings, Solid Oak Floors. • Close To Best Schools, Parks Quiet Family Yard • Views To Mount Baker • Welcome Home!

Call Us Today for a Confidential Needs Assessment and Market Analysis

YALETOWN/ DOWNTOWN SOUTH NEW LISTING!

OPENSTHURS 5:30-7PM, FRI 10AM-12PM, SAT & SUN 2-4PM 3303-1372 Seymour St, “The Mark,” $758,800

• Spectacular Executive Upper 1 Bdrm & Den • 1 Year Young Modern Skyscraper On False-creek • 650SQFT With Stunning English Bay & Sunset Views • Air Conditioning and Designer High-End Package • Great Floorplan With Open Feel • Floor-to-Ceiling Windows and High Ceilings • Special Feel Perched Above it All • 10,000 SQFT Spa, High-End Gym, Pool • 1 Parking, Rentals and Pets Allowed • Hot Downtown South Near Beach District

604-787-5568

www.MichaelDowling.ca

March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 19

OPEN M-F ■ 9AM- 4PM ■ APPOINTMENT PREFERRED

ROBSON N MEDICAL Dr. Peter J. Marr

Family Physician + Associates

F AMILIES

LIFESTYLES //

WESTENDER.COM

HEALTH

The misunderstood virtues of coconut oil IN THE BEDROOM

Patty Javier Gomez Whole Nourishment

CHILDREN

Along with the many intimate uses you can imagine (wink), it also makes a great massage oil, as it can be absorbed into the skin immediately. Ooh la la!

@WholeNourishBC

MEN WOMEN

NEW PATIENTS WELCOME

SENIORS + PRE-NATAL

200-1525 Robson Street

604 669-5669

■

www.robsonmedicalclinic.com

REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN.

Try FREE: 604-909-0780 More Local Numbers: 1-800-210-1010

Ahora español Livelinks.com 18+ Rolﬁng is Manual Therapy which strengthens the body’s structural integrity and functional resources. Rolﬁng can help you move again.

Coconut oil is all the rage. Love or hate it, it’s here to stay, and yes, it’s great for you and your health – much to the contrary of the popular belief that coconut oil is a trendy new fad that hippie practitioners are trying to push on you. Coconut oil has gotten a bad rap through the years: we were told to worry about saturated fats, and were led to believe that they were the enemy and a big contributor to cardiovascular disease – but that might not be true. Old habits die hard and there is still some resistance among the masses. I guess ﬁrst let’s start by talking about the myth of saturated fat being bad for you. Back in the day, it was common knowledge that saturated fats were terrible, and they were blamed for basically everything that was wrong with you. For the science nerds out there, saturated fat is made of, very simply put, fatty acid molecules that have no double bonds and are saturated with hydrogen molecules. According to Dr. Elson Haas in his book Staying Healthy with Nutrition, “When a fatty acid is fully saturated, it interacts the least with other molecules in the body and provides the most stable structure.” Dr. Haas also states that the reason saturated fats are helpful is because they help stabilize

OFFERING TREATMENT FOR:

• Scoliosis and Sciatica • Pain relief and management • Stress reduction • More efﬁcient movement • Better balance

Ask me how I can help you achieve your optimal health.

STEPHEN G. INABA

Advanced Certiﬁed Rolfer Registered Massage Practitioner

#730-1285 W. Broadway 604-738-1012 integrative.ca / stepheninaba.com

20 W March 31 - April 6, 2016

Not only is it great for frying, baking, sautéing and seasoning your cast iron, but you can get creative with it. I have heard of some folks adding it to their coffee, or mixing it with a little bit of cinnamon and spreading it on toast.You can also add it to your morning oatmeal or smoothies or as vegan shortening and grease your pans for baking. The possibilities are endless!

iStock photo

FOR YOUR HEALTH

cell membranes and are not that susceptible to damage. Coconut oil is a saturated fat. “New” insights and revelations came to light a couple of years ago when the world was ﬁnally told, “Ooops, our bad, turns out that saturated fats are not ruining your life after all.” (A fact that many health professionals have already known and have been preaching for years, so thanks for ﬁnally catching up.) Coconut oil has been around in many cultures since pretty much forever, and is still a staple in many kitchens. Today it has become a trendy food and the source of many debates, but coconut oil advocates will let you know what’s up. It’s not just a vegan substitute and reserved to live

solely in the kitchen, it’s super versatile and has oh-so-many alternative uses. But buyer beware, to reap the many beneﬁts of coconut oil, make sure that you purchase the non-processed/ non-hydrogenated version (just read the bottle). And yes, organic and fair trade is always best. Let’s explore the many ways coconut oil can enrich your life.

IN THE BATHROOM

Use it on your skin, on your hair as a deep moisturizer. For the ladies and gents who like to dress up their face, use it as makeup remover, hydrate your face and take off your makeup all at once. Use it for your teeth and even on your nails and cuticles.

This is the part where people get their panties in a bunch.Yes, coconut oil is good for your health. No, it won’t give you a heart attack. Here are some health beneﬁts of this controversial oil: | | acids. { u vitamins. t { | | important minerals, making it great for your bones. z ~ (the bad cholesterol) reducing the risk of heart disease. W

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Pure Barre sets the fitness bar high KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

Discover the freedom that balance can bring!

IN THE KITCHEN

Relive my ’80s dance glory, I thought. Instantly look like the ballet dancers I write about on a monthly basis, I hoped. Be out of breath and in searing agony within minutes? I should have known… Pure Barre, North America’s largest barre-fitness franchise, opened its first Vancouver studio on March 24. Located at 1907 West 4th Avenue in Kitsilano, the studio comes on the heels of the launch of the chain’s first international location in Toronto last month, bringing the number of locations to more than 370 worldwide. Built around the concept of ballet barre warm-ups, the barre fitness trend emphasizes the full-body sculpting and toning benefits of dance without the need to master any tricky choreography. If you’ve ever watched a ballet dancer in motion and marvelled in awe, this is marketed as a way to achieve similar core strength. Just because there’s no ac-

tual ballet involved though, doesn’t mean it comes easy. Founded in Michigan in 2001 by former dancer and choreographer Carrie Rezabek Dorr, each 55-minute Pure Barre class is a lowimpact endurance marathon, geared towards activating muscles you might not use all the time, while improving ﬂexibility and balance. I attended a media session last week led by studio owner Tanya Schneider, who has plans to open a second studio in Yaletown later this year. Coming in with my prior dance experience at play solely in the pages of my mother’s photo albums and very little recent exercise to my name, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep up. And it was tough.The changes – calls to transition from one move to the next – came mercifully quickly, but the motions were deﬁnitely challenging for someone who isn’t familiar with the basic barre routine.That said, each set, whether it was a gravitydefying arm extension or butt-blasting leg lift, felt like it

was targeting an entirely different set of muscles, so just as fatigue (and the infamous “barre burn”) set in, you were on to a new muscle group. The studio itself is low fuss – a long, carpeted space lined with mirrors and the requisite ballet barre that gives it its name. Equipment such as mats, balls, and weights are provided as necessary, and your instructor walks around offering advice when not leading the class by mic from the centre of the room.The music – appropriately motivational EDM – sometimes made it hard to hear, but it was obvious that once you attended a few classes, you wouldn’t need to listen so closely to what was being said. Fitness 101-style planks, bicep curls, sit-ups and Supermans were all among the deceptively simple techniques called for by the class, but their execution was augmented by tiny lifts, tucks and holds. The small movements initially seemed painless, but as the reps built, the muscle-rending burn – or shake – that barre

devotees crave set in. Classes are open to all levels of fitness, and I certainly stopped to rest when necessary, but by the end of the workout I realized that, when it comes to barre, success is measured in millimetres, not miles. And while my time as a ballerina may be just a fleeting memory, some of my favourite exercises came once we finally stepped up to the barre, using it for balance as we squatted on tip toe or extended our legs out into the air, moving (almost) as one. Tight-fitting clothes – somewhat of a must for an optimal barre workout experience – only added to the feeling that I was just a few more classes away from having what it takes to rejoin the corps.The reality though, was a whole different story. W ; (19< %+99< 27 ,?@+4<> +4 D!E" 3<74 #45* $?9 C?9< 2A:?9C+42?A +'?14 @,+77<7 +A> 7@5<>1,<7& /2724 (19<%+99<*@?CB '@.-2472,+A?*

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LIFESTYLES //

@WESTENDERVAN

SEX

Free Will Astrology Ask Mish: Alcoholics By Rob Brezsny According to my astrological analysis, you would benefit profoundly from taking a ride in a jet fighter plane 70,000 feet above the earth. In fact, I think you really need to experience weightlessness as you soar faster than the speed of sound. Luckily, there’s an organization, MiGFlug (migflug.com), that can provide you with this healing thrill. (I just hope you can afford the $18,000 price tag.) APRIL FOOL! I do in fact think you should treat yourself to unprecedented thrills and transcendent adventures. But I bet you can accomplish that without being quite so extravagant.

“People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages,” says philosopher Alain de Botton. If that’s true, Taurus, you must be on the verge of becoming very interesting. Metaphorically speaking, you’re not just rattling the bars of your cage. You’re also smacking your tin cup against the bars and trying to saw through them with your plastic knife. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not literally in a prison cell. And I got a bit carried away with the metaphor. But there is a grain of truth to what I said. You are getting close to breaking free of at least some of your mind-forged manacles. And it’s making you more attractive and intriguing.

If I had to decide what natural phenomenon you most closely resemble right now, I’d consider comparing you to a warm, restless breeze or a busily playful dolphin. But my first choice would be the mushrooms known as Schizophyllum commune. They’re highly adaptable: able to go dormant when the weather’s dry and spring to life when rain comes. They really get around, too, making their homes on every continent except Antarctica. But the main reason I’d link you with them is that they come in over 28,000 different sexes. Their versatility is unprecedented. APRIL FOOL! I exaggerated a bit. It’s true that these days you’re polymorphous and multifaceted and well-rounded. But you’re probably not capable of expressing 28,000 varieties of anything.

“Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting,” warns Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. If that’s true, why bother? Why expend all your precious yearning if the net result won’t even satisfy your yearning?! That’s why I advise you to ABANDON YOUR BELOVED PLANS! Save your energy for trivial wishes. That way you won’t be disappointed when they are fulfilled in unanticipated ways. APRIL FOOL! I was messing with you. It’s true that what you want won’t arrive in the form you’re expecting. But I bet the result will be even better than what you expected.

Your advice for the near future comes from poet Stephen Dunn. “If the Devil sits down,” he says, “offer companionship, tell her you’ve always admired her magnificent, false moves.” I think that’s an excellent plan, Libra! Maybe you’ll even be lucky enough to make the acquaintance of many different devils with a wide variety of magnificent, false moves. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I think you should avoid contact with all devils, no matter how enticing they might be. Now is a key time to surround yourself with positive influences.

In 1841, a British medical journal prescribed the following remedy for the common cold: “Nail a hat on the wall near the foot of your bed, then retire to that bed, and drink spirits until you see two hats.” My expert astrological analysis reveals that this treatment is likely to cure not just the sniffles, but also any other discomforts you’re suffering from, whether physical or emotional or spiritual. So I hope you own a hat, hammer, and nails. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The method I suggested probably won’t help alleviate what ails you. But here’s a strategy that might: Get rid of anything that’s superfluous, rotten, outdated, or burdensome.

To begin your oracle, I’ll borrow the words of author Ray Bradbury: “May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days, and out of that love, remake a world.” I have reason to believe that this optimistic projection has a good chance of coming true for you. Imagine it, Sagittarius: daily swoons of delight and rapture from now until the year 2071. APRIL FOOL! I lied, sort of. It would be foolish to predict that you’ll be giddy with amorous feelings nonstop for the next 54 years and 10 months. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s unrealistic for you to expect a lot of that sweet stuff over the course of the next three weeks.

“I am tired of being brave,” groaned Anne Sexton in one of her poems. “I’m sick of following my dreams,” moaned comedian Mitch Hedberg, adding, “I’m just going to ask my dreams where they’re going and hook up with them later.” In my opinion, Capricorn, you have every right to unleash grumbles similar to Hedberg’s and Sexton’s. APRIL FOOL! The advice I just gave you is only half-correct. It’s true that you need and deserve a respite from your earnest struggles. Now is indeed a good time to take a break so you can recharge your spiritual batteries. But don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself.

You’re due to make a pilgrimage, aren’t you? It might be time to shave your head, sell your possessions, and head out on a long trek to a holy place where you can get back in touch with what the hell you’re doing here on this planet. APRIL FOOL! I was kidding about the head-shaving and possessions-dumping. On the other hand, there might be value in embarking on a less melodramatic pilgrimage. I think you’re ready to seek radical bliss of a higher order – and get back in touch with what the hell you’re doing here on this planet.

In 1991, hikers in the Italian Alps discovered the wellpreserved corpse of a Bronze Age hunter. Buried in the frigid terrain, the man who came to be known as Otzi the Iceman had been there for 5,000 years. Soon the museum that claimed his body began receiving inquiries from women who wanted to be impregnated with Otzi’s sperm. I think this is an apt metaphor for you, Aquarius. Consider the possibility that you might benefit from being fertilized by an influence from long ago. APRIL FOOL! I was just messing with you. It’s true you can generate good mojo by engaging with inspirational influences from the past. But I’d never urge you to be guided by a vulgar metaphor related to Otzi’s sperm.

Are you ready to fight the monster? Do you have the courage and strength and stamina and guile to overcome the ugly beast that’s blocking the path to the treasure? If not, turn around and head back to your comfort zone until you’re better prepared. APRIL FOOL! I lied. There is a monster, but it’s not the literal embodiment of a beastly adversary. Rather, it’s inside you. It’s an unripe part of yourself that needs to be taught and tamed and cared for. Until you develop a better relationship with it, it will just keep testing you. (PS, now would be a good time to develop a better relationship with it.)

Caligula was an eccentric Roman emperor who had a physical resemblance to a goat. He was sensitive about it. That’s why he made it illegal for anyone to refer to goats in his company. I mention this, Pisces, because I’d like to propose a list of words you should forbid to be used in your presence during the coming weeks: “money,” “cash,” “finances,” “loot,” “savings,” or “investments.” Why? Because I’m afraid it would be distracting, even confusing or embarrassing, for you to think about these sore subjects right now. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, now is a perfect time for you to be focused on getting richer quicker.

Mar. 31: Angus Young (61) Apr. 1: Kid Ink (30) Apr. 2: Michael Fassbender (39) Apr. 3: Leona Lewis (31) Apr. 4: Natasha Lyonne (37) Apr. 5: Bette Davis (108) Apr. 6: Merle Haggard (79)

Westender.com

and fictitious friends Sex with Mish Way

@MyszkaWay I am a 23-year-old dude and I have never had sex sober. Am I an alcoholic? Whether are not you are an alcoholic has a lot more to do with sex.You are a 23-year-old person, aren’t you all fucking alcoholics? I know I was. I’m sorry you have never had sex sober, because sex sober is better than sex on the most top-tier of drugs. Your senses are not numbed by chemicals and everything is coming up crystal clear. Orgasms are wild. You know when you are drunk and trying to cum and it feels like you are starting up the Volvo you haven’t driven in two weeks in the dead of winter? Like come on, just start. Just GO. Sober sex rules. The car starts every time. I’m not in AA or anything, I just really want you to feel every ounce of semen fly out your penis. Have you ever been in love or in a serious relationship? If the answer is no, then you probably are not an alcoholic.You are just a confused, insecure young person who needs the liquid courage to get you laid. That’s life.You are fine. However, if you have been in a serious, long-term relationship and have never had sex sober, then there is something wrong here. The bonus of the serious relationship (besides being in love with the person you like most in the world) is having sex on the regular. Ergo, you are drunk way more than you should be.You can not possibly be drunk for late morning sex? If you are, then yes, you should probably go to an AA meeting and see if you a spot a version of yourself in 20 years picking through the communal cookies. My girlfriend will not let me meet her friends. We have been together for almost four months now. She avoids it at any cost and always finds an excuse. Is she embarrassed of me or do her friends just not exist? Who is the loser here? Dr. Helen Fisher did this study for Match.com a few years back called “Singles in America.” She surveyed 25,000 people and found that 59 per cent of men and 49 per cent of women believe in love at first sight. The survey also found that men fall in love faster than

iStock photo women, which makes sense seeing how visually stimulated men generally are. When I interviewed Fisher last year, she told me, “In my studies, questioning 25,000 American people, I have found that men fall in love more often. They fall in love sooner; when they meet someone they are in love with, they want to introduce her to friends to and family sooner; they want move-in sooner.” You might feel like it is time to meet her friends, but maybe she is not ready. Maybe she wants to make sure this is actually going to stick before she bothers bringing you around to her coveted circle? Have you been a promising boyfriend or have you been a ﬂakey pile? Did you start with courtship or late night sexts? She probably is jaded and isn’t going to bother relying

on you until she knows she really can. I also can only assume that you do not spend that much time together, or when you do it is in private or else this would not even be an issue. Is she ashamed of you? Perhaps. But that’s on her, not you. Sometimes we fuck scum. Sometimes we date dorks. Sometimes we even disgust ourselves. Do you want to be with someone that insecure? If she thinks you are too mortifying to meet her friends, do you really want to be with someone like that? I mean, come on. Just ask her what her damage is. She might surprise you with her answer. W

EMAIL MISH Send Mish your own sex questions and queries to sex@westender.com

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March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 21

Your Community

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EMPLOYMENT

GENERAL EMPLOYMENT FARM WORK OVERSEAS: dairy, beef, sheep, crop farms & horticulture operations host & employ young Canadians ages 18-30. Work, Travel, Experience! International Rural Exchange: office @irecanada.ca 306-4894407 www.irecanada.ca

Art in the City Event! Purchase a 10 x 10 Booth!

Friday • April 29th Sunday • May 1st • FREE Admission •

870 DENMAN ST For more info call

604-257-8333 CANADA BENEFIT GROUP Do you or someone you know suffer from a disability? Get up to $40,000 from the Canadian Government. Toll-free 1-888-511-2250 or www.canadabenefit.ca/ free-assessment CRIMINAL RECORD? Canadian Record Suspension (Criminal pardon) seals record. American waiver allows legal entry. Why risk employment, business, travel, licensing, deportation, peace of mind? Free consultation: 1-800-347-2540 CRIMINAL RECORD? Don’t let your past limit your career plans! Since 1989 Confidential, Fast, Affordable. A+ BBB Rating. Employment & Travel Freedom. Call for Free Info Booklet. 1-8-NOWPARDON (1-866-972-7366) RemoveYourRecord.com

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RESTAURANT/ HOTEL ('*&,% (0/$+ )#.#"!EA7I8: AI !G>EAC; !K$I&8 !I; LA7=6GF813 'MG87I $7 *7(M$0&3 ,GI$80< %A7A(8 0&$+I0 @ 8K4M6C880;KA$7IA$7 18=61:0 6+ 0I6=O; 0AM80 @ EA0IA(83 *70G18 +66: @ 081F$=8 K88I 2GAM$IC =67I16M 0IA7:A1:03 N1A$7 0IA++ $7 "6> :GI$80; 0A7$IAI$67 @ 0A+8IC 416=8:G1803 *70G18 E61O 0=&8:GM80 A18 $7 4MA=83 #78 C8A1 8D481$87=8 E61O$7( $7 +A0I +66: 180IAG1A7I 182G$18:3 JA(80< 95-.&1; )B&10.E88O3 /HH0K$I&830G>EAC ?(KA$M3=6K

GARAGE SALES

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ANTIQUES WE BUY ANTIQUES Generous prices paid for Fine Art, Silver, Jewellery, Military Medals, Militaria, Coin Collections, pre 1910 Furniture & Lighting, etc. Est. in 1990. We make house calls. Call David 604-716-8032 www.britishfineart andantiques.ca

FOR SALE - MISC POLE BARNS, Shops, steel buildings metal clad or fabric clad. Complete supply and installation. Call John at 403-998-7907; jcameron@ advancebuildings.com REFORESTATION NURSERY SEEDLINGS of hardy trees, shrubs, & berries for shelterbelts or landscaping. Spruce & Pine from $0.99/tree. Free Shipping. Replacement guarantee. 1-866-873-3846 or www.treetime.ca SAWMILLS from only $4,397 Make money & save money with your own bandmill - Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE Info & DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com/400OT 1-800-566-6899 Ext:400OT STEEL BUILDING SALE... “Clear Out Pricing in Effect Now!” 20X20 $5,444 25X26 $6,275 30X30 $8,489 32X34 $10,328 42X50 $15,866. One end wall included. Pioneer Steel 1-800-668-5422 www.pioneersteel.ca

PETS

Spring Thrift Sale!!

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United Church 3525 West 24th Ave Sat. April 9th 9:30am - 1pm Books, Toys, Clothes, Jewelry, Household & Electrical Goods and Collectibles...

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!.0-.'06$2 "*(31 &%,) 5 ++4## 6/ $D50D=- %D?5E> %35E; *1FDB 2<+> :>GG "? ,%DB C>GG 1? ! #58.; *1FDB A<+> :>GG "? ,%DB *3@<D4= %D?5

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HEALTH & BEAUTY ACUPUNCTURE, ENERGY Massage, Facial Rejuvenation, Slimming Treatment. Ins. acc. $68/120 mins. 604-249-1307

FRANCHISES + &65#- %#A.-?6.#, '6#A7/.45 $<<?6-BA.-;

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Native Art & Artifacts Auction Sunday, April 3rd, 12:00 Noon Preview 9:00am Engineers Auditorium 4333 Ledger Ave, Burnaby OVER 450 ITEMS! NWC baskets, totems & masks. Over 30 fine Argillite carvings, Navajo Jewelry, Collection of Bill Reid & Robert Davidson prints. Info - Consignment - Appraisals 604-657-2072 / 604-657-1147 www.seahawkauctions.com

HANDYPERSON

BAJ Mini Excavating Demo •Drainage •Dry Bsmt. Remove •Concrete •Retain Walls & •Blacktop • 604-779-7816

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<'"!"%(' &*#%$9 $*< ?1+3;)10 =;A444 5(B& 7 3GI. >)/H *04<+D<C- ?<694FE)0 !,JNL= L,> N@ ,LL ># %A1 '4"<:OH<HO46 ,$0))7 K)6H/- J<00O<$) ,$0))7 K)6H/ ; @)2<0<HO46 ; %OE409)1

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1. Crooned 5. Luck 8. Cosecant function 11. Rock bands play here 13. Surrounds the earth 14. Jessica __ 15. A type of clique 16. No seats available 17. Greek sophist 18. Stiff hair 20. Recipe measurement (abbr.) 21. Legal periodical

DOWN

1. A baglike structure in a plant or animal 2. Bird genus 3. One point east of northeast iq ^ ardn em tr 5. Hurry 6. Lighter-than-air craft 7. Ask to marry 8. Thick rope made of wire 9. Imposters 10. Central nervous system 12. Pie _ __ mode 14. Robert __, poet 19. Dwelt

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41. Drunkard 42. Doesn’t win or lose 44. Appellative 45. Spiritual leader 46. Implant 47. Language (Afrikaans) 51. Basics 52. A one-time Giants center 53. Every one of two or more 54. A way to gather 55. Swiss river 58. Small spot

March 31 - April 6, 2016 W 23

WEEKLY SAVINGS Prices Effective March 31st to April 6th, 2016.

100% BC Owned and Operated PRODUCE

MEAT Organic Ataulfo Mangos from Mexico

Organic Green, Red and Black Kale from California

Fair Trade Organic Hass Avocados from Pragor Cooperative, Mexico

BC Grown Long English Cucumbers

Ovation Leg of Lamb Boneless Steaks

450g

11.99lb/ 26.43kg

3/3.00

GROCERY

5.99

DELI

Stahlbush Island Farms Frozen Vegetables and Fruit

assorted varieties

assorted sizes

SAVE

product of USA

to 41% 2.69 3.99 UP TO

Kitchen Basics Cooking Stock assorted varieties

SAVE

946ml

28%

product of USA

3.79

Amy’s Organic Soup assorted varieties

Nature’s Path Organic Cereal Eco Pac

Green & Black’s Organic Chocolate Bars

SAVE

assorted varieties assorted sizes product of Canada

UP TO

24%

Liberté Organic Yogurt assorted sizes • product of Canada

UP TO

34%

SAVE

UP TO

38%

Prairie Harvest Organic Pasta Sauce assorted varieties 705ml • product of Canada

33%

3/9.99

SAVE

UP TO

25% off Regular Retail Price

Amazing Grass Green Superfood Powder or Energy Bars Assorted Varieties and Sizes

25% off Regular Retail Price

3/9.99

SAVE 3.69

36%

32%

Tropicana Pure Premium Orange Juice and Blends

SAVE

1.75L • product of USA

2/6.98

Regular Retail Price

Natural Factors CurcuminRich or CranRich

GLUTEN FREE package of 8

4.99

280g • product of Canada

5.99 to 6.99

assorted varieties assorted sizes product of Canada

xxx BAKERY

xxx • product of xxx

New and s! ciou Deli

four flavours to choose from

2.99

Happy Anniversary, Burnaby Crest! Saturday, April 2 | 11:00 am – 3:00 pm Join us at our Burnaby Crest location ( 8683 10th Avenue ) on Saturday, April 2, to celebrate 9 years in the local community. We will be hosting a donation barbecue along with cake and coffee to enjoy. Even better, there will also be special deals throughout the store. We hope to see you there!

Assorted Sizes

20% off Regular Retail Price

www.choicesmarkets.com

All Butter Scones

package of 2

19% 2/5.98

+deposit +eco fee

25% off

7.99

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Old Dutch Restaurante Tortilla Chips

assorted varieties

Assorted Varieties and Sizes

assorted varieties

Balderson Aged Cheddar Cheese

SAVE

400g • roasted in Canada

Manitoba Harvest Hemp Proteins, Hearts, and Oils

Choices’ Own Family Size Salads

assorted varieties

WELLNESS Select Varieties and Sizes

480ml • +deposit +eco fee product of USA

156g • product of USA

product of Canada

38% 7.99

4.99

assorted varieties

assorted varieties 1 dozen or 18 pack

Earth’s Choice Organic Fair Trade Coffee Ground or Whole Bean

SAVE

3/9.99

Way Better Tortilla Chips

6.49

473-500ml • product of Canada

New Chapter Non GMO Supplements

26%

20% 3.99 to

assorted varieties

38%

SAVE

assorted varieties

Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream

SAVE

3.49 to 4.29

Nature’s Farm Omega-3 Eggs

2/4.98 to 2/6.98

12.99 whole 6.99 half

100g • product of EU

GT’s Organic Raw Kombucha Beverages

assorted varieties

SAVE

Farmcrest Roasted Specialty Chickens Non GMO

assorted varieties

24%

7.99

398ml • product of USA

While quantities last. Not all items available at all stores. We reserve the right to correct printing errors.

Old Country Pasta Meals

assorted varieties

2/3.00

SAVE

6.99lb/ 15.41kg

5.49lb/ 12.10kg

2/3.00

3/4.50

Imported Lean Ground Beef

Farmcrest Non GMO Whole Specialty Frying Chicken

One Buy ne O Get ! Free

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