Westender – December 10, 2015 by Westender

DECEMBER 10-16 // 2015

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NEWS // ISSUES

WESTENDER.COM

YOUR CITY You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack by Tom Gauld

News3 Vancouver Shakedown3 Cover story4 A Good Chick To Know6 Style File6 Nosh7 The Growler8 By the Bottle8 Holiday Hub9 What’s On12 Music14 Arts15 Reel People16 Movie reviews16 Real Estate17 Whole Nourishment20 Horoscopes21 Sex with Mish Way21

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RANT//RAVE email: rantrave@westender.com ALL RANTS ARE THE OPINION OF THE INDIVIDUAL AND DO NOT REFLECT THE OPINIONS OF THE WESTENDER. THE EDITOR RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT FOR CLARITY AND BREVITY, SO PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT AND (BITTER)SWEET.

JERK WITH A BIKE

To the dickhead cyclist at the corner of Seventh and Quebec last Thursday that doesn’t understand the concept of a stop sign: just because you ride a bike, doesn’t mean you are exempt from the rules of the road. Just because it requires a modicum of physical effort on your part to stop and then proceed when safe at an intersection doesn’t give you the right to blow through that intersection at full speed.

You might remember me, I’m the car that almost plowed into you when you decided you were too good to follow the trafﬁc laws. I’m the one you ﬂipped off when I beeped my horn as I was turning left and you illegally cut in front of me. Let’s make something clear: you’re the asshole.You are the one breaking the law and you are the one endangering lives, including your own. Jerks like you give cyclists a bad name. Hell, jerks like you give this

whole city a bad name. So stop being a jerk, you jerk! –Anonymous

MUDHONEYMEMORIES

Re:“Mudhoney Mayhem.” Vancouver Shakedown, Nov. 26. I was at the Mudhoney gig as a young 16-year-old and remember it fondly. I actually had forgotten about the “spit incident” but as soon as I read Grant Lawrence’s article about it, it all came clearly back to me. I also remember Mark Arm [of

Mudhoney] changing around the lyrics of “Touch Me I’m Sick” to “I Love Nestle Quick.” I remember that gig clearly too, because Mudhoney and Beat Happening were some of my favourite bands at the time. I had seen Beat Happening before with Fugazi and Seaweed at some underground venue in Bellingham before but I think that was the ﬁrst time I saw Mudhoney. I was so happy that Nardwuar put on all ages shows, allowing me to see bands like these and Gas Huffer, Fastbacks, etc, even when I was only 15 at some of these gigs. Anyway, today I just turned 42 and have a wife and two kids. My jazz collection has overtaken and surpassed my old indie/pop/punk collection – a sure sign of grown-upness! So thanks for the little glimpse back at a fun time. Nardwuar, Scratch Records in that little below-ground hole, the Cruel Elephant, Nirvana at the NewYork theatre, Mecca Normal defying punk conventions. And I can’t forget that summer of 1989 when my parents took the family to Seattle and I walked into Fallout Records and saw that K Records cassette bag hanging on the wall and that brand new copy of Bleach in the racks. I brought that home and a Go Team cassette, and on it went from there! –Mark Raap

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2 W December 10 - December 16, 2015

Westender.com

NEWS // ISSUES

@WESTENDERVAN

YOUR CITY

City calls for cyclists to share lanes with skateboarders Skateboarders and rollerbladers could soon be legally allowed to skate in the city’s protected bike lanes that run from Kitsilano to Chinatown and through parts of the West End. But the Vancouver Police Department is warning that the city’s proposal to mix skateboarders and cyclists in the lanes might not be such a good idea. “Skateboarders sharing bike lanes may cause an increase in conﬂict between cyclists and skateboarders,” said a statement from the VPD included

in a city staff report that goes before council Dec. 10. “As well, the handling, maneuverability, varied speeds and perhaps most signiﬁcantly, the braking characteristics of skateboards, are much different than bicycles.” Police say conﬂicts could result in more calls to sort out disputes involving skateboarders, cyclists, pedestrians and motorists. Also, there may be serious potential for an increase in accidents where someone is injured, police said.Though police only commented on skateboards and acknowledge some skateboarders already use the lanes,

Gift cards: Worst Xmas gift ever Grant Lawrence Vancouver Shakedown @GrantLawrence

It’s Christmas morning.You’re handed a large, gift-wrapped box that just might be that new Music Hall MMF5.1WH turntable from Red Cat Records you’ve been dying for. Strangely, the gift is quite a bit lighter than it should be, judging by the size of the parcel.You eagerly unwrap it and realize to your dismay that the packaging is a cruel ruse. Here’s the spin: inside the box is but a small, thin envelope. Inside the envelope is… a $25 gift card to Tim Horton’s. Christmas is ofﬁcially warped. Allow me to declare it once and for all: gift cards are the worst holiday gift ever, right up there with bathroom scales and acne cream. Gift cards say “you know what, I’m frankly just too damn lazy to spend any of my precious time thinking about what you actually want for Christmas, so here’s a gift card. Go out Christmas shopping for me, after Christmas is over, so you can buy yourself a Christmas gift from me.You do the legwork. I’m done here”.That’s what gift cards say.The thought doesn’t count if there’s no thought. The gift card is (mostly) a sham for both the gift giver and receiver.The only winner in the gift card racket is the store where the card is bought, because the store gets to snatch up your lazy money in exchange for a thin piece of plastic, making the solid gamble that your loved one will be so dismissive at receiving a gift card for Christmas or Hanukkah, they’ll forget to actually use it. Most gift cards quietly gather in junk drawers, never to be seen again this decade. Don’t believe me? According to MarketWatch.com, over $1 billion in gift cards go unredeemed annually. $1

Westender.com

billion unredeemed.That’s some evil genius stuff right there: prey on the laziness of the gift-giver and the forgetfulness of the gift-getter for a bonanza profit. If you do remember to redeem your shitty gift card, what costs $25 exactly, anyway? Despite heavily favouring Cartems Donuterie or Lucky’s Doughnuts, say you force yourself to slum it out at Tim Horton’s and purchase three-dozen donuts for $23, in a gluttonous attempt to eat away the memories of your careless friend. $2 remains on the card, which you’ll likely never use, and the store already has. An acquaintance recently received an Apple Store gift card from a neighbour after she helped him out.Wow, the Apple Store, how generous, eh? She excitedly rushed down to Pacific Centre to cash in her gift card with visions of the new iPad Pro dancing in her head, only to find out the card was for a whopping $10. Ironically, the only thing priced that low at the Apple Store was an iTunes gift card. She couldn’t even buy the new Adele album. Hello, she now thinks her neighbour is a jerk. If you still aren’t convinced, think of the children. For kids, Christmas is all about the tangibles. Remember when you were a child, ripping the Santa Claus gift wrapping off the Stars Wars action figures or the Strawberry Shortcake dolls, immediately putting them into play on the living room rug? Imagine a wideeyed, consumer-hungry child tearing open their Christmas gift only to receive… a gift certificate for piano lessons that start in February. Even if you want to play the piano, that’s still oh-so-very-lame for Christmas morning. Kids can’t play with gift cards. Adults forget they exist. This holiday season, do your part to reverse the gift card spin. W

VPD, Insurance Corporation of BC, the HUB cycling coalition,Vancouver Skateboard Coalition,Vancouver Coastal Health and Road Safety B.C. Michelle Pezel, vicepresident of the Vancouver Skateboard Coalition, said she hasn’t reviewed city staff’s proposal and therefore couldn’t give a proper response on whether members supported the trial. “We deﬁnitely support the expansion and legalization of skateboarding in Vancouver,” said Pezel, who owns Antisocial Skateshop on Main Street. “But skateboarding is really a lot more than transportation.

extend to painted bike lanes. The use of skateboards, rollerblades and push scooters are currently only permitted on minor streets. Council adopted those restrictions in 2001. “Staff now feel that the nature of skateboarding has changed, with different types of skateboards being used not just for recreation, but as a way to get around the city,” said the report, noting the protected lanes are wide enough for cyclists to pass skateboarders. The report says the move to proceed with a trial was done in consultation with the

the city’s proposal also calls for opening up the cycling network to rollerbladers and push-scooter users. City staff wants city council to proceed with a trial for one year.The rationale is that conﬂicts would be reduced on sidewalks, particularly between skateboarders and pedestrians.The lanes, which are protected from vehicle trafﬁc by barriers such as planters and curbs, would also provide protection for skateboarders, said the report, noting the trial would further encourage and legitimize skateboarding as a popular form of transportation.The trial would not PLEASE READ THE FINE PRINT: Offers valid until January 4, 2016. See toyota.ca for complete details on all cash back offers. In the event of any discrepancy or inconsistency between Toyota prices, rates and/or other information contained on www.getyourtoyota.ca and that contained on toyota.ca, the latter shall prevail. Errors and omissions excepted. *Lease example: 2015 RAV4 FWD LE Automatic ZFREVT-A with a vehicle price of $26,220 includes $1,855 freight/PDI leased at 0.49% over 40 months with $2,350 down payment equals 80 semi-monthly payments of $125 with a total lease obligation of $12,366. Lease 40 mos. based on 60,000 km, excess km charge is $.10. Up to $2,000 Non-stackable Cash Back available on select 2015 RAV4 models. Finance example: 0.49% finance for 36 months, upon credit approval, available on 2015 RAV4 FWD LE Automatic ZFREVT-A. Applicable taxes are extra. **Lease example: 2016 Corolla CE BURCEM-6A MSRP is $17,580 and includes $1,585 freight/PDI leased at 0.49% over 40 months with $1,275 down payment equals 80 semi-monthly payments of $78 with a total lease obligation of $7,545. Lease 40 mos. based on 60,000 km, excess km charge is $.07. † Finance example: 0.49% finance for 48 months, upon credit approval, available on 2016 Corolla CE BURCEM-6A. Applicable taxes are extra. ***Lease example: 2016 Tacoma Double Cab 4x4 DZ5BNT-A with a vehicle price of $38,525 includes $1,855 freight/PDI leased at 2.99% over 40 months with $3,675 down payment equals 80 semi-monthly payments of $178 with a total lease obligation of $17,950. Lease 60 mos. based on 100,000 km, excess km charge is $.10. † † Finance example: 2.49% finance for 36 months, upon credit approval, available on 2016 Tacoma Double Cab 4x4 DZ5BNT-A. Applicable taxes are extra. Down payment, first semi-monthly payment and security deposit plus GST and PST on first payment and full down payment are due at lease inception. A security deposit is not required on approval of credit. ‡Non-stackable Cash back offers valid until January 4, 2016, on select models and may not be combined with Toyota Financial Services (TFS) lease or finance rates. If you would like to lease or finance at standard TFS rates (not the above special rates), then you may by January 4, 2016. Cash incentives include taxes and are applied after taxes have been charged on the full amount of the negotiated price. See toyota.ca for complete details on all cash back offers. ‡Semi-monthly lease offer available through Toyota Financial Services on approved credit to qualified retail customers on most 24, 36, 48 and 60 month leases of new and demonstrator Toyota vehicles. First semi-monthly payment due at lease inception and next monthly payment due approximately 15 days later and semi-monthly thereafter throughout the term. Toyota Financial Services will waive the final payment. Semi-monthly lease offer can be combined with most other offers excluding the First Payment Free and Encore offers. First Payment Free offer is valid for eligible TFS Lease Renewal customers only. Toyota semi-monthly lease program based on 24 payments per year, on a 48-month lease, equals 96 payments, with the final 96th payment waived by Toyota Financial Services. Not open to employees of Toyota Canada, Toyota Financial Services or TMMC/TMMC Vehicle Purchase Plan. Lease payments can be made monthly or semi-monthly basis but cannot be made on a weekly basis. Weekly payments are for advertising purposes only. Visit your Toyota Dealer or www.getyourtoyota.ca for more details. Some conditions apply; offers are time limited and may change without notice. Dealer may lease/sell for less.

MIKE HOWELL @howellings

Skateboarding is a culture and skateboarding has a history and not everybody who skateboards, skateboards the same.” Erin O’Melinn, executive director of the HUB cycling coalition, said her organization is “generally supportive” of the move to allow skateboarders to ride legally in the protected lanes. O’Melinn said HUB has made it clear to city staff that monitoring should be done to ensure skateboarders are using the lanes solely for transportation and not for tricks. W –Courtesy ofVancouver Courier

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December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 3

TRAVEL // ESCAPE

WESTENDER.COM

MOUNTAIN GUIDE

Your 2016 BC mountain guide ROBERT MANGELSDORF @robmangelsdorf

When there’s rain in the streets, there’s snow on the mountains, and Whistler-Blackcomb (above) is no exception. Thinkstock photo

Winter in Vancouver can be absolutely miserable, especially if, like many newcomers to the city, you’re still adjusting to the lack of Vitamin D in your newly adopted home. But when there’s rain in the streets, there’s snow on the mountains. So embrace the season and head for the hills! Here in Vancouver, we are spoiled for choice with dozens of world-class ski and snowboard destinations less than a day’s drive away. But which resort is right for you? Maybe you’re looking for a relaxing weekend in a chalet on a quiet hill. Maybe you get your jollies launching off kickers in the backcountry. Or maybe you’re just looking for a mountain with a decent bar for some après-ski. Whatever you are looking for, Westender has you covered like that one-piece snow suit your mom bought you when you were six that went zip-zop-zip-zop-zipzop when you walked.

THE LOCALS

CYPRESS MOUNTAIN Runs: 53 Lifts: 9 (6 chair lifts, 3 surface lifts) Skiable area: 240 ha Vertical drop: 610 m Average annual snowfall: 622 cm Cost of day pass: $64 Best place for après-ski: Crazy Raven Bar & Grill Don’t miss: On a clear day, the view from the top of Mt. Strachan looking down on to Howe Sound is a sight to behold. Perfect for: Locals looking to huck it close to home. GROUSE MOUNTAIN Runs: 26 Lifts: 5 (4 chairlifts, 1 surface lift) Skiable area: 85 ha Vertical drop: 365 m Average annual snowfall: 970 cm Cost of day pass: $58 Best place for après-ski: Queen’s Cross Pub Don’t miss: The Cut, legendary ski run known for its incredible Vancouver views. Perfect for: Tourists and exchange students who insist on bringing their snowboard on the bus.

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HEMLOCK VALLEY Runs: 35 Lifts: chairlifts, Lift s: 4 (3 chairlift s, 1 lifts) surface lift s) Skiable area: 121 ha Vertical drop: 396 m Average annual snowfall: 970 cm Cost of day pass: $50.48 Best place for après-ski: Sasquatch Inn (SasquatchInn.ca) Don’t miss: The cheapest, closest winter holiday cabins for Vancouverites. Perfect for: Budget-conscious families looking for a week away in the snow.

MANNING PARK Runs: 3 Lifts: chairlifts, Lift s: 4 (2 chairlift s, 2 lifts) surface lift s) Skiable area: 57 ha Vertical drop: 432 m Average annual snowfall: 546 cm Cost of day pass: $53 Best place for après-ski: Bear’s Den Pub Don’t miss: The gas station in Hope. Trust me. Perfect for: Wide open runs with no one on them. MOUNT SEYMOUR Runs: 40 Lifts: 5 (3 chairlifts, 2 surface lifts) Skiable area: 81 ha Vertical drop: 330 m Average annual snowfall: 1,000 cm Cost of day pass: $54 Best place for après-ski: The Raven Pub Don’t miss: Seymour’s four terrain parks offer 30+ features and are all night-lit. Perfect for: North Shore teenagers skipping school. WHISTLER-BLACKCOMB Runs: 200+ Lifts: 39 (5 gondolas, 18 chairlifts, 16 surface lifts) Skiable area: 3,300 ha Vertical drop: 1565 m Average annual snowfall: 1,163 cm Cost of day pass: $125 Best place for après-ski: Garibaldi Ski Lift Co. Don’t miss: The PEAK 2 PEAK gondola connecting Whistler and Blackcomb is worth a trip any time of year. Perfect for: Anyone who appreciates a true Big Mountain experience. Also, Australians.

INTERIOR APEX MOUNTAIN Runs: 73 Lifts: 4 (2 chairlifts, 2 surface lifts) Skiable area: 450 ha Vertical drop: 605 m Average annual snowfall: 600 cm Cost of day pass: $75 Best place for après-ski:

Gunbarrel Saloon Don’t miss: Gunbarrel Saloon, the best mountain bar in the province, bar none. Perfect for: Experienced powder hounds looking for challenging, untouched terrain. BIG WHITE Runs: 118 Lifts: 15 (1 gondola, 10 chairlifts, 4 surface lifts) Skiable area: 1,147 ha Vertical drop: 777 m Average annual snowfall: 750 cm Cost of day pass: $87 Best place for après-ski: Snowshoe Sam’s Don’t miss: The ski-thru tunnels and bridges of the Village Centre gives new meaning to ski-in/ski-out. Perfect for: Just about anyone. Big White’s terrain is big and varied, perfect for all skill levels. HARPER MOUNTAIN Runs: 15 Lifts: 3 (1 chairlift, 2 surface lifts) Skiable area: 161 ha Vertical drop: 425 m Average annual snowfall: 400 cm Cost of day pass: $42.86 Best place for après-ski: The Dirty Jersey Don’t miss: Night skiing Thursday and Friday nights! Perfect for: Kamloops locals and that’s about it. SILVER STAR Runs: 131 Lifts: 12 (6 chairlifts, 6 surface lifts) Skiable area: 1,328 ha Vertical drop: 760 m Average annual snowfall: 700 cm Cost of day pass: $85 Best place for après-ski: Long John’s Pub Don’t miss: Close to 50 hectares of new terrain this year. Perfect for: The big family vacation. Rent a condo, stay a week.

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NEWS // ISSUES

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MOUNTAIN GUIDE SUN PEAKS Runs: 135 Lifts: 12 (6 chairlifts, 6 surface lifts) Skiable area: 1,728 ha Vertical drop: 882 m Average annual snowfall: 600 cm Cost of day pass: $89 Best place for après-ski: Bottoms Bar and Grill Don’t miss: The West Bowl is a great place to avoid the crowds and make fresh tracks. Perfect for: Those wanting a Big Mountain experience at a fraction of the cost. MT. TIMOTHY Runs: 35 Lifts: 5 (1 chairlift, 4 surface lifts) Skiable area: n/a Vertical drop: 310 m Average annual snowfall: 35 Cost of day pass: $50 Best place for après-ski: Farrier Pub & Grub Don’t miss: The turn-off to Timothy Lake Road, or you’ll end up in Horsefly. Perfect for: People who like small hills in the middle of nowhere.

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VANCOUVER ISLAND MOUNT CAIN Runs: 21 Lifts: 3 (3 surface lifts) Skiable area: n/a Vertical drop: 457 m Average annual snowfall: 1,500 cm Cost of day pass: $49.50 Best place for après-ski: Lucky Logger Pub Don’t miss: The ungroomed powder off the Upper T-Bar is pure ecstasy. Perfect for: Ski bums in search of undiscovered, untouched powder at the ends of the earth. MOUNT WASHINGTON Runs: 81 Lifts: 9 (5 chairlifts, 4 surface lifts) Skiable area: 690 ha Vertical drop: 505 m Average annual snowfall: 1150 cm Cost of day pass: $85 Best place for après-ski: The Waverley Pub Don’t miss: The historic town of Cumberland is a great alternative to staying on mountain. Perfect for: Those who want

to snowboard and windsurf on the same day.

THE KOOTENAYS KIMBERLEY Runs: 80 Lifts: 5 (3 chairlifts, 2 surface lifts) Skiable area: 729 ha Vertical drop: 751 m Average annual snowfall: 400 cm Cost of day pass: $72.95 Best place for après-ski: Stemwinder Bar and Grill Don’t miss: All four mountain faces, each with their own distinct personality. Perfect for: Roughnecks coming off a hitch, flying in from Calgary. RED MOUNTAIN Runs: 110 Lifts: 7 (5 chairlifts, 2 service lifts) Skiable area: 1,165 ha Vertical drop: 890 m Average annual snowfall: 760 cm Cost of day pass: $84 Best place for après-ski: The Flying Steamshovel Don’t miss: Come back in the

summer; Rossland is known as the Mountain Bike Capital of Canada. Perfect for: Americans looking for a Canadian ski holiday, but who don’t want to venture more than 15km north of the border. WHITEWATER Runs: 81 Lifts: 4 (3 chairlifts, 1 surface lift) Skiable area: 479 ha Vertical drop: 623 m Average annual snowfall: 1,200 cm Cost of day pass: $71 Best place for après-ski: Mike’s Place Pub at the Hume Hotel Don’t miss: Fresh Tracks Café offers some of the best on-mountain food in the province. Perfect for: Powder junkies looking for empty runs and a rustic feel. FERNIE Runs: 147 Lifts: 10 (7 chairlifts, 3 surface lifts) Skiable area: 1,010 ha Vertical drop: 1,082 m Average annual snowfall:

Cost of day pass: $89.95 Best place for après-ski: Griz Bar Don’t miss: Après in the village, which Rolling Stone calls the “Coolest Town in North America”, apparently. Perfect for: Albertans in Westphalias who come for a weekend and stay the whole season.

THE ROCKIES REVELSTOKE Runs: 65 Lifts: 5 (1 gondola, 2 chairlifts, 2 surface lifts) Skiable area: 1,300 ha Vertical drop: 1,713 Average annual snowfall: 1,200 cm Cost of day pass: $86 Best place for après-ski: The Village Idiot Don’t miss: If you’ve won the lottery, the back-country heliskiing is second to none. Perfect for: Peak-to-base runs that last all day (the longest is 15.2 km long!). KICKING HORSE Runs: 120+ Lifts: 5 (1 gondola, 3 chairlifts,

1 surface lift) Skiable area: 1,130 ha Vertical drop: 1,260 m Average annual snowfall: 750 cm Cost of day pass: $90 Best place for après-ski: Kicking Horse Saloon Don’t miss: The scenery, not that you could. Golden is surrounded by six national parks. Perfect for: Experienced skiers/snowboarders looking for dry champagne powder. PANORAMA Runs: 120 Lifts: 10 (1 Gondola, 6 chairlifts, 3 surface lifts) Skiable area: 1,150 ha Vertical drop: 1,225 m Average annual snowfall: 500 cm Cost of day pass: $88 Best place for après-ski: TBar & Grill Don’t miss: Go for a soak in the Panorama Springs, Canada’s largest slopeside hot pools. Perfect for: Families looking for a good all-round mountain. W

December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 5

STYLE // DESIGN

WESTENDER.COM

FASHION 1

Five Finds: A gift guide for the décor addict Jennifer Scott A Good Chick to Know

@Jennifer_AGCTK

Although seemingly impossible, choosing an ace gift for the décor addicts can be super simple: beauty plus function plus uniqueness equals a trifecta for a wellloved item of design. From entertaining tools to home scent to art, I’ve scoured the city and made my top ﬁve picks for the ultimate gifts of style. 1. Copper aroma burner and signature essential oil; available at Kaarigar Handicrafts, 1012 Mainland. $54 for the burner, $21 for the oil blend. Anyone with an appreciation for the impact of a beautiful space understands

the importance of creating a full sensory experience. Scent plays a large factor in ﬁrst impressions of a room and the overall vibe of spending time in it. These copper burners are a discreet yet highly effective method of beautifying a space through scent – with a minimalist design that offers a global appeal, the concept of tealight-to-oil is rudimentary yet unparalleled. Kaarigar offers an exclusive essential oil blend of Tuberose, which from personal experience has an impact on almost everyone who experiences it; the ideal invitation into a room, this signature scent is the perfect gift pairing to the copper burner.

2. Etched skull decanter; available at The Cross Décor & Design, 1198 Homer. Glamour with an edge for

the ultimate entertainer. It’s no secret that the holidays are made for entertaining, which puts the bar of any host(ess) on full display; having barware that rivals his or her décor is a must for a chic holiday soirée. This hand-etched skull and smoked glass decanter creates a striking statement that is sure to impress even the most discerning of tastes. A departure from the detailed crystal work of traditional decanters, this piece offers a stronger, modern take on a formal bar.

3. Voluspa candle collection; available at The Cross Decor & Design, 1198 Homer. Sizes and prices vary. Ambience, for me, is the key to a successful design; one of my most favourite tricks to achieving instant ambience is through a

layered grouping of candles. Useful for both scent and varied light, candles provide multi-sensory experience. Voluspa recently released a full new collection of scents, which The Cross fully embraced; ranging in size from petite 4.5 ounce tins to luxurious 36 ounce glass jars, they can burn up to 100 hours (for the larger sizes). Voluspa creations are hand-poured coconut wax blends, ﬁnished with a wide array of scents and colour coordinating vessels; they are made with no phthalates, parabens or sulfates and – for me the most important – no animal testing.

4. Coast Modern screenprint; available at Vancouver Special, 3612 Main. $130 unframed, $300 framed. Art is the jewelry of a home, making it an essential element for any décor

@NikiMHope 6

6 W December 10 - December 16, 2015

5. Gold-potted succulent arrangements; available through Botany Living, BotanyLiving.com. $22 - $60. Adding life to a space, on a literal level, is a favoured

trick of design buffs in the know. Plant life creates a sense of nature and organic appeal to a room, softening even the most minimalistic of decor styles. Succulents make ideal house plants, especially for the busy urbanite, as they remain a manageable size and require little effort to keep them happy. Due to their small stature, it’s easy to get creative with how they are displayed; the team behind local brand Botany Living have created the perfect gift with their trip of gold-potted succulents, which are available as a trio grouping or as a single pot. To check out their full collection, you can ﬁnd Botany Living at the South Granville location of West Elm for a pop-up, or follow them on Instagram at @botanyliving. W

Stay on course with après-ski style Niki Hope Style File

lover. Personally, I love an eclectic art collection, ranging from fine art (preferably from stellar local artists like Zoe Pawlak, Dana Mooney and Jamie Bizness) to bold typographic prints like this Michael C. Place piece designed for Build UK. Printed in a standard A1 size on high gloss Lustralux paper, this design is a strikingly simplistic two-colour black and fluorescent pink celebration of the launch of acclaimed documentary film Coast Modern in London. This screen print is a limited-edition second run of 100, and is numbered and signed with a certificate of authenticity.

As a classic winter aesthetic, there are very few downsides to après-ski style. It’s one of those traditional looks that never really goes out of style and is as chic at the ski lodge as it is in the city (or in your home!). Here are a handful of Canadian brands (and a few beyond) that will hold off winter’s chill. 1. I’m crazy about the wool Winter Deer vest, $310, by Richmond-based company Granted, a local line that has knitters working throughout the Lower Mainland to make darling jackets, vests, and accessories from 100 per cent new wool – a

sustainable and ethical ﬁbre from free-range sheep.

2. Enjoy a warm cup of coffee in this cozy mug, $12, from Drake General Store at Hudson’s Bay downtown. Drake carries a number of quirky Canadian brands and interesting pieces. 3. Classic mitts from a classic Canadian brand – check out the Mary Maxim mitt, $58, from Roots Canada. 4. Canada’s Smythe crafts beautiful designerquality clothes that rival high-end brands from Europe. Check out the Alpine stripe sweater, available in Vancouver at Holt Renfrew. 5. Tokyo-based brand CHUP (Classical Human’s

Universal Peace) takes toes seriously with these socks, made from moisture-wicking smartwool, available at J. Crew, $48. 6. Another Roots standout is the Karin Fair Isle pom pom toque, $40. Cozy up with this cutie to heat your head.

7. Grab a “throw that goes” with the virgin wool Motor Robe with leather carrier from Pendleton, available locally at Much & Little on Main Street, $135. The blanket has leather carrying straps that make it easy to carry along on a winter outing. 8. East Vancouver’s Saige & Skye creates warm and textured ﬁbre wall art, like this piece, available at the online Etsy store, $220. W

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EAT // DRINK

NOW TAKING ORDERS FOR FRESH FREE RUN TURKEYS! CALL 604-681-2121

SPECIALS FOR DEC. 10-17

DINING OUT GOURMET

CRANBERRY & WALNUT STUFFED FREE RUN CHICKEN BREASTS $5.48 each

865 Denman St.

DOUBLE SMOKED BACON

meats

604.681.2121

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TRY A BOWL OF TANGO’S HOMESTYLE CHILI! SMALL $3.98 LARGE $6.98

Clockwise from top left: Bone, Tongues & Harmony (bone marrow beef tongue, pickled beet); Manager Andrew Jameson and Chef Sean Reeve; Spain in December (classic Spanish fideus); Filled with Neglect (carrot, pine brittle, tiger blue cheese). Dan Toulgoet photos

Cool comfort delivered in spades at newest Railtown dining spot Anya Levykh Nosh

@FoodgirlFriday

THE MACKENZIE ROOM

415 Powell 604-253-0705 TheMackenzieRoom.com Open for dinner TuesdaySaturday, 5pm-10pm; lunch Tuesday-Friday, 11:30am-2:30pm.

One of the biggest challenges for any new restaurant is getting the team to work as one harmonious unit. No matter how skilled and experienced individual members of the front and back of house may be, it’s how they work together that sets the tone for the guest experience. At The Mackenzie Room, that experience is all but guaranteed to be excellent, thanks to a team that’s been working together for more than a handful of years and moved back to Vancouver en masse from Toronto. Owners Andrew and Katie Jameson (Andrew runs the FOH), along with their business partner and executive chef Sean Reeve, opened the restaurant four months ago. There’s something pleasantly rough-and-tumble about the room. Layers of paint, plaster and grime from the former diner space have been stripped away to reveal exposed brick and concrete overlaid with patches of faded plaster. Antique pennants from small towns face a wall of old silver serving trays, the whole overhung by ornate chandeliers.The bar is a thing of beauty, all reclaimed, polished and sealed wood in

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massive drifts, and echoed by the tables in the 50-seat space. Chairs are comfortably padded and vintage. The menu is, at first glance, a rustic, comfortfood-focused selection, but closer inspection shows a level of depth and complexity – and fun – that belies the much-abused comfort food mantra. Duck in a Pie ($27) is exactly what it sounds like, except the filling comprises every part of the animal, including kidney, heart, breast, et al. It’s all enveloped in some light, flaky puff pastry and topped with a foie gras ice cream that manages to cut through the almost-excessive lushness of the dish while still adding a touch of richness. The Root of All Evil ($12) is a phenomenal vegetarian dish. Smoked sunchoke is topped with leek ash and turnip. It seems too simple for how it tastes, but each element balances the others perfectly. Bone, Tongues & Harmony ($18) – yeah, they’re having some fun naming dishes – is another stunner. A large roasted marrow is topped with braised beef tongue and pickled beets, and some fresh pea shoots and micro-greens. It’s served with a large slab of the house focaccia, which Reeve bakes in enormous pans daily. Its crusty-salty exterior hides some seriously addictive and butter-soft bread. Speaking of butter, you can order the bread on its own with some whipped lardo for $5, which is excellent value. In fact, the entire menu offers seriously good value. Mains can range as high as $29, but the quality of the

ingredients and the cookery justify a higher price point. Reeve sources everything as locally and seasonally as possible, and for such a tiny kitchen (open to the room, it’s roughly the size of a postage stamp), they are turning out some major ﬂavour and artistry. The best deal, though, just might be the I Want It All ($53). This is exactly what it sounds like. You get the entire menu, around 12-14 dishes, for $53 per person (you need a minimum of four people to order this). If it’s available, there’s also a pig’s head for four that you shouldn’t miss. Our neighbours polished one off one night in record time. To round things out, there is one new member to the team, in the person of Arthur Wynne, erstwhile barkeep at Blacktail in Gastown. Wynne is having fun here, with solid offerings like the Cold, Buttered Rum ($14) and even zero-proof drinks like the Cardamom Sour ($6), an apple juice-based concoction with lime, egg white and cardamom syrup. Taken all together, it’s an excellent vibe in an excellent room that is serving up some seriously good food and drink. What’s more comfortable than that? W Hear Anya Levykh every Monday on CBC Radio One’s On the Coast. Find her onTwitter @foodgirlfriday and Facebook. com/FoodGirlFriday.

“PIPER’S PIES” TRADITIONALTOURTIERE PIE, 750G $10.98 each For more info visit our website TangosGourmetMeats.com

Great wine at great prices Cyndy Pellegrin, our sommelier, suggests some wines suitable for any occasion, but priced for every day. Road 13 Pinot Noir 2012 $21.61 plus tax & deposit

Les Jamelles Sauvignon Blanc 2012 $15.48 plus tax & deposit Our Sauvignon Blanc has a lovely pale yellow colour. It is rich and aromatic with intense scents of fruit (gooseberry, passion fruit, green tomato, wild strawberry and lemon). It also displays floral nuances (honeysuckle), and a mineral “flinty” scent from the limestone soil. It is very fresh on the palate with a good acidity and a natural hint of CO2 which gives it freshness. Rich, round and well-balanced finish.

This Pinot Noir has a gorgeous light red brick color. The nose is lifted and complex with notes of cherry, rhubarb, black tea, soya sauce and cedar. On the palate it is soft with refreshing acidity, light to medium body and fine tannins. A well-balanced Okanagan Pinot Noir that offers classical savory flavors of sour cherries, plum and forest floor.

Events & Tastings Specials of the Week Calendar Pick up these great deals at prices lower than government liquor stores!

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Parallel 49 Filthy Dirty IPA / 6 bottles SAVE

Sobieski Vodka 750ml sale price

2257

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Jack Daniels Honey / 375ml sale price

+ tax + deposit

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SAVE

1117

+ tax + deposit

DECEMBER 12, 2-5PM Rare Drams – Featuring Fine Whisky of Scotland DECEMBER 18, 4-7PM Bogle – California Wine

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Your WEST END Community Liquor Store Fine Wine • Craft Beer • Specialty Spirits

Food: !!!!! Service: !!!!! Ambiance: !!!!! Value: !!!!! Overall: !!!!!

WINTER HOURS: OPEN 11AM-11PM EVERY DAY!

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@DenmanBeerWineSpirits

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December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 7

EAT // DRINK

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DINING OUT

The Growler guide to BC’s newest breweries Stephen Smysnuik The Growler @TheGrowlerBC

We at :C* '#.<9*# were under the impression that the swell of new brewery openings had subsided. That the boom had already taken place, and the industry was ready to level off, so beer lovers could go on and enjoy what we already have. We were wrong! Boy, were we *>*# wrong. Already, we know of 15 new breweries set to open across the province by next summer, and we’ve heard rumblings of another handful in the works for the latter half of 2016. Here’s a list of the breweries we know of for sure. What’s interesting is the number of new breweries opening in smaller communities across the province. Also, it looks like Kelowna is on the verge of its very own craft beer boom, which is excellent news indeed. Best start getting excited, people.

KETTLE RIVER BREWING CO

Kelowna (February 2016) We don’t know much, except that it’s supposedly opening early next year.

ONE DUCK BREWING

Squamish (Winter 2015/2016) Home brewer Jesse Paine set up a Kickstarter campaign to help fund the new Squamish Brewery, which will focus on small-batch Belgian styles.

RIOT BREWING

SOOKE BREWING CO.

Port Alberni (Winter 2015/2016) Owner/brewer Aaron Colyn is a PA local who studied microbiology and is now opening a brewery and tasting room that will focus on a broad range of West Coast styles.

Vancouver (Spring 2016) AKATurntable Brewing, but the owners changed it once they landed a building in the heart of Strathcona. It’ll be a big operation, with a tasting room reminiscent of Brooklyn Brewery’s.

STRATHCONA BREWING

Sooke (Summer 2016) Three friends who grew up together in Sooke plan to launch this brewery, emulating Toﬁno’s model of starting small with a focus on growler sales and expanding to bottling as capacity allows it.

SAVOY BREWPUB

WHITETOOTH BREWING

Kelowna (Summer 2016?) This large (58,000-square foot!) facility, which will also include a pub and tasting room, will be situated on the old BC Fruit Packers Co-operative Fruit Market and warehouse site.

TWIN CITY BREWING

Chemainus (Spring 2016) It only took ﬁve-and-a-half years, but AlyTomlin, well known inVancouver’s brewing scene going back a ways, is ﬁnally opening her own brewery.

Nelson (Early 2016) Nelson’s ﬁrst brewpub will be in the historic Savoy Hotel, which is being refurbished by the folks behind the Shambhala Music Festival.

Golden (Spring 2016) Golden’s ﬁrst brewery will be a 18-hectolitre production brewery with a tasting lounge, growler station and retail area.

PARKSIDE BREWERY

Vancouver (Summer 2016) A newYeastVan addition on Powell Street founded by two brothers originally from Colombia, which will offer “a unique blend of Latin American and Canadian ﬂavours.”

Port Moody (Spring 2016) Former Granville Island Brewing mastermind Vern Lambourne is opening his own brewery in the burgeoning Port Moody beer district on Murray Street.

THE BEER STUDIO

Function Junction, Whistler (Spring 2016) KevinWinter, previously of Mission Springs Brewing, is opening this tasting roomfocused operation.

ANDINA BREWING

LUPPOLO BREWING CO.

Vancouver (Summer 2016) AnotherYeastVan-ish startup, with a tasting room focus. They’ll brew assorted styles of beer, with some Italian inﬂuence, but mainlyWest Coast, with a focus on variety.

STARKHUND BREWING

LANGLEY BREWING

Langley (No idea) It’s not much more than a rumour and aTwitter account at this point, though we’ve heard the owners of Old Abbey Ales are involved in this one.

SOOKE OCEANSIDE BREWING

Sooke (??) The founder is an executive chef who really wants to open a brewery in Sooke. Hopefully he can. W % ;7>* <* 6@!!*+ 7251 ,*B ?! =2.< 35 B<**B@2" -BC*"#.<9*#3/ .# *67@9@2" ?! 7B *+@B.#BC*"#.<9*#(/7 &0@BC A9*! $#.6 4.*0@*3*

Your $10 holiday gift is here! Celebrate the season in good taste! Purchase $50 worth of White Spot Gift Cards and receive two $5 White Spot bonus Gift Certificates valid for the New Year*. It’s our gift to you! Visit us in restaurant today or purchase online at whitespot.ca and have them mailed to you.

and happy holidays

whitespot.ca *While quantities last. Two $5 Bonus White Spot Gift Certificates valid from January 2nd to March 31st, 2016. Maximum two certificates may be redeemed per person per visit.

GRANVILLE & DRAKE 718 Drake Street 604-605-0045

GEORGIA & CARDERO 1616 West Georgia Street 604-681-8034

8 W December 10 - December 16, 2015

DUNSMUIR & HOMER 405 Dunsmuir Street 604-899-6072

BROADWAY & LARCH 2518 West Broadway 604-731-2434

OAKRIDGE CENTRE 41st & Cambie 604-261-2820

Christmas wines to please a crowd Michaela Morris By the Bottle @MichaelaWine

All I ever really want for Christmas is a table surrounded by family and good friends. The more the merrier. No matter who shows up, I consider myself very lucky. Besides first-rate company, the food is always tasty and of course the wines are too. This doesn’t necessarily mean going overboard though. When the guest list keeps expanding, I see no point in going bankrupt. Rather, I look for well-priced wines that will satisfy everyone’s thirst and keep the chatter flowing. The other key consideration is ensuring that the wines are appropriate for the banquet. Don’t worry, this is pretty straightforward. Usually Christmas dinner means turkey (perhaps ham) with a whole lot of accompaniments. So a friendly wine that will get along well with an array of dishes is the goal. Whatever you drink should make you want to eat more. Think lively and quenching whites like Riesling, Albariño and Carricante. Other powerfully scented wines such as Gewurztraminer, Viognier and Torrontés have the character to match a flavourful feast. An equally aromatic but off the beaten track red like Frappato could be a fun conversation starter. Betterknown reds that often grace my table are light but bright Pinot Noir and Gamay. If you want to go richer, a fruit-forward Grenache or Zinfandel will also work like a charm. I recommend you pick up a few fun bottles now. Who wants to be standing in line on Christmas Eve? SXU; @VH/ Y2P<0G @2POJ &/VP< " (/KV<8 (A$G WLVP<8 " %U7I11G BC Liquor Stores Subtle smoke with pear, delicate white flowers and vibrant citrus notes. This fantastic value Alsace Pinot

Blanc makes for a lovely aperitif but it will also refresh the palate while feasting. 2013 Valckenberg, GewürzJLVQ2P8L " @6V/,G T8LQVP- " %U4I91G &$ D2MHOL )JOL8K Gewurz is a classic suggestion for a holiday meal. Its bold personality has the ability to stand up to an array of flavourful side dishes. Cinnamon spiced peach and dried rose petals with a hint of sweetness, the Valckenberg is like an extroverted guest who contributes stimulating conversation without monopolizing it. 2011 Bodegas Piqueras, +$VKJ2//O :8 (/QVPKV* " (/QVPKV =8K8LFV #AG )NV2P " %UUIS1I &$ D2MHOL )JOL8K A blend of Tempranillo, Garnacha and Monastrell, the Castello de Almansa is savoury and rich yet so approachable with plum, vanilla and leather notes. I think of it as an old friend who is always welcome at the party, especially when the guest list is robust. Also conveniently available in magnums for $23.49. 2013 Vignamaggio, +COPPV D2KV* " $32VPJ2 $/VKK2<O #A$TG EJV/- " %SSI11G BC Liquor Stores Here’a a new Chianti Classico that’s worth introducing to the gang. Besides flavours of dark cherry skins, juicy raspberry and sweet tobacco, it has plenty of mouthwatering acidity and enough tannin to scrub your mouth out between bites. SXU9 )N28LR8V:G @2POJ BO2L " A0VPV5VP 'V//8-G &$G '?( " %S;>S4G .2P8L- :2L8<J ! NL2vate wine stores If there is any remote possibility of celebrating the season with out-of-town guests, you gotta have something local on hand. I applauded the past vintage of SpierHead recently but the new release is even better. From the warm 2014 summer, it offers lush summer berries, underlying toast and a bright red currant finish. W % )#@/*! *8/9?!@>* .$ B78*!(

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A Victorian Christmas at Craigdarroch Castle John Masters Meridian Writers’ Group In the attic room of a dour Victorian mansion, a man steps from the shadows. He wears a black scarf and black, half-finger gloves. “Marley was dead,” he intones. So begins Jason Stevens’ recital of the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol, in which the ghost of Jacob Marley comes to Ebeneezer Scrooge, his longtime business partner, and teaches him to mend his bitter ways. The setting is appropriate: late-Victorian Craigdarroch Castle in Victoria, an opulently appointed, 39-room baronial home of oak and granite built by Robert Dunsmuir on the proceeds from the coal mines he owned. Dunsmuir was, says the Encyclopedia of British Columbia, “The richest man in BC and also one of its most detested, primarily because of the ruthless labour practices at his mines.” A man, then, after Scrooge’s own cold heart. Jason Stevens, in orating the novel, takes a page from Dickens’ book. The author often gave readings, both at home in England and in America. From late November 1867 to late April 1868, for example, Dickens spoke 76 times in Boston, New York and across

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the northeast United States, packing halls with a thousand or more eager listeners. Stevens’ crowds are more modest, between 10 and 40 people. But, like Dickens, Stevens doesn’t just read aloud – he works from a script that highlights some parts of the story and ignores others – and he plays 16 characters. The whole book, he says, would take 3.5 hours to do. He tells the tale in an hour, but you’ll be hard-pressed to know what he’s left out. An actor by trade, Stevens began his Yuletide show at Craigdarroch in 2012. “It’s developing a following,” he says. “We have people who come from Seattle and make it part of their Christmas.” A Christmas Carol deepens the already thick Victorian Christmas atmosphere at the castle, which includes carol sing-alongs in the drawing room. That room, like the rest of the castle, is decked out each December as it would have been in the Dunsmuirs’ day, giving visitors a sense of how the holiday was celebrated among the wealthiest of British Empire colonials. Six weeks are needed to set up the decorations, says Craigdarroch’s Laura Torbet, and what’s displayed is lavish and “very accurate. This family was known for going above and beyond.”

Mantelpieces and fireplaces throughout the castle are wreathed in ribbons, green holly and red berries. There are Christmas trees on all four floors, but the main attraction is the one in the drawing room, richly trimmed and surrounded by dolls, train sets and other toys. The candles on the tree are now electrically lit, but in the 1890s the branches would have twinkled with dozens of open flames. The effect must have been beautiful. In case anything went wrong, a maid stood by with a bucket of water. Joan Dunsmuir and her 10 children lived in Craigdarroch from its completion in 1890 until Joan’s death in 1908. Robert, however, never got to enjoy it, he died, aged 63, in 1889. Perhaps if he’d had a Jacob Marley... For more information on Craigdarroch Castle visit thecastle.ca. See more stories at culturelocker.com.

Jason Stevens’ one-man show of the Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol has become part of the December events at Craigdarroch Castle where Christmas in late-Victorian times is celebrated. Stevens stands next to the richly trimmed tree in the castle’s drawing room. John Masters/Meridian Writers’ Group

December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 9

Toys for kids

SANDRA THOMAS @sthomas10

December 11-12 • 4:30pm-8:30pm

FREE FESTIVE TROLLEY RIDES

LIVE MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT HOLIDAY TOY DRIVE & FUNDRAISER Lantern making Workshop Lantern procession With carnivaL banD FREE SKATING & MORE!

lumiere festivalvan.org | westendbia.com | #LumiereVan F O U N D I N G PA R T N E R

E V E N T PA R T N E R S

EVENT SPONSORS

When it comes to Christmas and holiday giving for kids, a popular rule to follow is to give them something they want, need, something to wear and read. For the sake of this story, we focussed strictly on something they want, which for most kids means toys. For some expert advice we turned to Kaboodles, a locally-owned store, which owner Lee Richmond over recent years has expanded from its original West Point Grey location to include shops on Granville Island, Downtown Victoria and Cambie Street. In keeping with their commitment to community, the Vancouver locations of Kaboodles are holding their second annual toy drive in support of families in need on now through Dec. 25, by asking shoppers to drop off an unwrapped gift. Anyone wanting to purchase a toy from Kaboodles for the drive will receive a 10 per cent discount. All gifts will then be delivered to the Lower Mainland Christmas Bureau, where they will be passed on to families who can’t afford gifts for their children. Here is the top 10 list of toys as suggested by the experts at Kaboodles:

The FORCE is with us!: The ship has landed. It’s the year of Star Wars and kids want it all, from Lego to R2D2 Bop It.

Thinking Putty: Keep your hands busy and give your brain a break with some Thinking Putty. Great for stress relief, hand exercise and silly fun.

Snap Circuits: Elenco’s Snap Circuits makes learning electronics easy and fun. Just follow the colorful pictures in your manual and build exciting projects such as AM radios, burglar alarms, doorbells and much more.

Calico Critters: New families are moving into Cloverleaf Corners. Please welcome the Red Pandas, Hamster and Grandpa and Grandma Bunny to the neighborhood.

Stuck on those “hard to buy for” people on your Holiday List?

SEND THE GIFT OF Beer, Wine & Spirits! MOBILE GIFT CARDS available now at www.brewerycreekliquorstore.com Send directly to a mobile device. Instantly redeemable. Open 11-11 EVERY DAY THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS (12 to 6 Dec. 25th) 14th & Main • FREE PARKING AROUND BACK

www.brewerycreekliquorstore.com 604-872-3373 10 W December 10 - December 16, 2015

Insta

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LOZ Blocks: Miniscule in size, but not in fun. Build famous characters including Star Wars, Pokémon and Superheroes. Perfect for ages 10-plus.

Playmobil NHL: Get your ice ready for action with the Playmobil Zamboni and kick off another exciting season of hockey with the new Playmobil NHL series.

LiteHawk Quattro Neon: This neon is stunning. Check out the unique twopiece design houses – with all the electronics, mechanicals

and LED lighting systems in a sturdy structure. The bright lighting allows you to easily see neon day or night.

Superhero Plush by GUND: GUND is ready to save the world with help from some of the DC Universe’s most powerful superheroes. These 12-inch plush versions of your favourite heroes are sure to please comic book enthusiasts of all ages.

Bugs in the Kitchen: There’s a bug in the kitchen. Quick, who’ll catch it first? This bug is on the loose and

moving fast. Guide the bug into your trap – one wrong turn and he’ll get past.

DJECO Glitter Boards: Magical butterflies flit across the beautiful board – all they need to become a glittering work of gorgeous art is YOU. The beginnings of an art board is at work, but it needs a make-over of the sparkly kind. Peel off the numbered sections to reveal a sticky surface waiting. Numbers correspond with the glitter for a sensational look or you can get adventuresome and pick your own colours.

THIS DECEMBER COASTAL CHURCH PRESENTS

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December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 11

ARTS // CULTURE

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WHAT’S ON Th/10

Fr/11

Sa/12

Su/13

Mo/14

MUSIC

FRAZEY FORD Singer-songwriter returns home to Vancouver in support of her latest release, Indian Ocean. 8pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $23 at Red Cat, Zulu, Highlife, and TicketWeb.ca. All ages show.

A TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS Conductor Rosemary Thomson leads the VSO, the UBC Opera Ensemble, and EnChor in an evening of traditional holiday music hosted by Christopher Gaze. 4pm & 7:30pm at St Andrew’s-Wesley United Church. Tickets $35+ at VancouverSymphony.ca

TACOCAT AND SALLIE FORD Surf pop quartet from Seattle co-headlines with the singer-songwriter from Portland, Oregon, in support of her first solo release Slap Back. 8:30pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $13 at Red Cat, Zulu, and TicketWeb.ca

TALES OF CHRISTMAS PAST Vancouver Viols fill the Roedde House’s parlour with the music of the Medieval, Renaissance, and Baroque eras with musicians Pat Unruh, Anne Duranceau, Colin Miles and Catherine Laub. 3pm at Roedde House Museum. Tickets $12+ at BrownPaperTickets.com

MILEY CYRUS & HER DEAD PETZ The pop-tart and her backing band, otherwise known as the Flaming Lips, swing through on their sold-out club tour with special guest Dan Deacon. 8pm at Queen Elizabeth Theatre. Tickets $69+ at Ticketmaster.ca and LiveNation.com

HAVE YOURSELF A JAZZY LITTLE AFTERNOON Inspired by the vocalists of the ‘30s, ‘40s, and ‘50s, Angela Verbrugge channels greats like Peggy Lee and Nat King Cole for an afternoon of live jazz with her band. 3-5pm at Kino Café. Admission by suggested donation of $8.

COMEDY

LA WITCH Reverb-soaked punked-out rock from the LA trio with special guests FEELS and Eric Campbell & The Dirt. 8pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $10 at Red Cat, Zulu, and TicketWeb.ca WOLVHAMMER Black metal death rock from the midwest in support of their third full-length album, Clawing Into Black Sun, with special guests Firecult, Seer, and Nostrum. 7pm at Media Club. Tickets at the door. THE LONESOME TOWN PAINTERS An evening of high-energy traditional bluegrass from Vancouver’s best, with lonesome harmonies and melodic instrumentation paying homage to the genre’s pioneers. 9pm at Skinny Fat Jack’s. Tickets $10 at the door only. MATT WILSON’S CHRISTMAS TREE-O Legendary jazz drummer Wilson, embarks on a joyful, adventurous romp through holiday music on the 16 Days of Christmas North American tour. 8pm at The Western Front. Tickets $28 at Front.bc.ca

THEATRE/DANCE A CHRISTMAS STORY The classic holiday favourite gets a musical spin on the tale familiar to anyone who has ever been a kid. For nine-year-old Ralphie, only an Official Red Ryder BB gun will do under the tree, and this Canadian premiere is a holiday gift for the whole family. 7:30pm at Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage. Tickets at ArtsClub.com. Runs until Dec. 27.

Eugene Ripper, Dec. 10

MUSIC FOR THE WINTER SOLSTICE Music on Main celebrates the winter season with a concert inspired by the solstice featuring performances from Caroline Shaw, Steve Maddock, Rachel Iwaasa, and COULOIR. 8pm at Heritage Hall. Tickets $49 at MusicOnMain.ca DANA SIPOS, T. NILE, FAMILIAR WILD A triple bill of strong voices and stories from three independent Canadian artists presented by Rogue Folk Club. 8pm at St. James Hall. Tickets $20 at Red Cat, Rufus’ Guitars, Prussin Music, Highlife and RogueFolk.bc.ca EUGENE RIPPER Canadian punk-folk rock guitarist returns to Vancouver in support of his latest recordings, Fast Folk Underground 4.0 and Hangman. 8pm at Skinny Fat Jack’s. Admission by donation. THE ENGLISH BEAT 2 Tone ska revivalists from Birmingham, England, hit the road in support of their first studio album in over 30 years, Here We Go Love, with special guests The Interrupters. 7pm at Venue. Tickets $23 at Red Cat, Zulu, and BPLive.ElectroStub.com DRAGONETTE Toronto electrorockers take the stage in support of their single “Let the Night Fall” with special guests Young Empire. 8pm at Vogue Theatre. Tickets $25+ at Red Cat and LiveNation.com CAROUSEL ‘70s-style rock from Vancouver with special guests Wiser Fool, the Highway Kind, and Doctor Claw. 9:30pm at The Astoria. Tickets $10 at the door only. HUNNY Southern California sixpiece draws their sound from a blend of ‘80s post-punk and pop. 8pm at Media Club. Tickets $12 at Red Cat, and TicketFly.com

Dragonette, Dec. 11 CLANCY’S ANGELS The power choir of singers and musicians re-ignite rock and pop anthems in the gospel spirit one last time for their Farewell Concert, closing a decade long run of one of the best holiday must-sees in Vancouver. 8pm at WISE Hall. Online tickets SOLD OUT. Check Highlife Records for hard copy availability. CELEBRATE! A GOOD NOISE CHRISTMAS Good Noise Gospel Choir returns with their annual Christmas performance accompanied this year by soulful, acclaimed guitarist David Sinclair. 8pm at Christ Church Cathedral. Tickets $25 at BrownPaperTickets.com SING CITY Opening the first annual Winter Wonderland Festival, an ensemble of 80 voices brings you upbeat pop favourites, as well as traditional holiday songs accompanied by the jazz/funk choir, Fat Chants. 7:30pm at PNE Forum. Tickets at VancouverWinterWonderland.com

KIASMOS Icelandic minimal, experimental, electronic music duo play tunes from their self-titled debut release with special guest Florestano. 8pm at Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $20 at Red Cat, Zulu, Highlife, Beat Street, and TicketWeb.ca GRAVEYARD Swedish rock kings play Vancouver for the first time ever in support of their latest release Innocence & Decadence, with special guest Earthless. 7pm at Venue. SOLD OUT. VIVALDI CHAMBER CHOIR: ANGELS AND SHEPHERDS The 30-voice vocal ensemble explores the stories of Mary and her messengers with early Baroque composers through the Romantic Russian Choral tradition. 8pm at St. Mark’s Anglican Church (1805 Larch St). Tickets $18+ at BrownPaperTickets. com or at the door.

COMEDY

THEATRE/DANCE

CEDRIC NEWMAN Jamaicanborn, Montreal-bred actor and comedian loaded with quick wit and easy charm keeps the laughs coming with his curiosity and “off the top of his head” type jokes with an opening set from Alex Sparling. 7pm & 9:30pm at Yuk Yuk’s. Tickets $20 at YukYuks.com

A VERY MERRY FRINGEMAS Join some of Vancouver’s favourite Fringe artists to celebrate the holidays in style with a look into never-before-seen holidaythemed sketches, songs, and magic hosted by Fringe legend Jayson MacDonald. 8pm at Studio 1398. Tickets at TheatreWire.com

DAN QUINN A natural storyteller who has turned tales from his life into an international headlining act brings his honest but edgy, relatable comedy to a hometown stage with opening sets from Julie Kim and Kwasi Thomas. 8pm & 10:30pm at Comedy Mix. Tickets $15 at TheComedyMix.com

THE DAISY THEATRE Returning after two sold-out runs, this production is different, daring, and ridiculous as puppeteer provocateur Ronnie Burkett and his resident company of 40 marionettes ensure no two shows are ever the same. 8pm at Vancouver East Cultural Centre. Tickets at Tickets.TheCultch.com. Runs until Dec. 20.

THEATRE/DANCE NIGHTMARE BEFORE THE NUTCRACKER This gothic re-imagination is a sexy, unique twist on the beloved fable in an adults-only production weaving theatre, circus, burlesque, and live music with the infamous Nutcracker and Burton film characters. 8pm at Rio Theatre. Tickets at RioTheatreTickets.ca

WHITE CHRISTMAS The Vancouver Pops Choir performs Christmas classics with a modern and jazzy twist with their renditions of traditional favourites. 3-5pm at Chan Centre. Tickets $15+ at Chan Centre.com THE GARDEN Southern California punk duo of twin brothers Wyatt and Fletcher Shears, on tour in support of their latest release, Haha, with special guest the Prettys. 9pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $13 at Red Cat, Zulu, Neptoon, and TicketWeb.ca

THEATRE/DANCE ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS Come join your favourite characters as four princesses, an iceman, and a superhero wait for the arrival of old Saint Nick, as they reminisce on holiday stories and songs, recreating some old magic in a new way. 6:30pm at Studio 1398. Tickets at OnceUponAChristmas. BrownPaperTickets.com. Final performance.

ART ELEMENTS A bold, unique digital art exhibition from Brazilian artist Kito Tosetti, housed in a glass floating gallery containing four collections of abstract images, each representing a new window to alternate realities. 10am-7pm at Nudleman Collection Floating Gallery at Sea Village on Granville Island. Runs until Dec. 20.

Graveyard, Dec. 12

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Banquet rooms available for large parties.

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NEW YEAR’S EVE DINNER & DANCE DEC. 31, 8PM-1AM

12 W December 10 - December 16, 2015

FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS VanDusen Botanical Garden lights up the night with its annual holiday festival, where thousands of twinkling lights decorate the gardens turning it into a magical winter wonderland. Fun for the whole family with holiday treats and photos with Santa. 4:30pm at VanDusen Botanical Garden. Tickets at VanDusenGarden.org. Runs until Dec. 31.

FAMILY HANUKKAH PARTY Celebrate Hanukkah with gelt and latke treats, make a dreidel and spin it, light the menorah, sing songs, and listen to the story of the Jewish holiday. 10:30am at Trout Lake Community Centre. Tickets $4 at ChabadEastVan.com

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Happy Holidays Belly Dancers, Dance Floor, Live DJ! Includes expanded dinner buffet, party favours & 1 drink • midnight countdown • raffle prizes

THE LAUGH GALLERY WITH GRAHAM CLARK One of Vancouver’s brightest comics hosts this weekly, wonderfully eclectic show where you get to laugh AND win a great prize! 9pm at Havana Theatre. Tickets $5 at EventBrite.ca

805 W. Broadway @ Willow • 604.874.5800 3 blocks west of the Canada Line Cambie Station Free parking weekends & after 6pm weeknights

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WHAT’S ON Tu/15

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We/16

MUSIC

BRASS & ORGAN CONCERT Celebrate Christmas with the VSO Brass Quintet and organist Terence Fullerton. 7:30pm at Kerrisdale Presbyterian Church. Tickets $15+ at StJohnsVancouver.org

PUGS & CROWS Juno Awardwinning experimental jazz outfit celebrate the release of Everyone Knows Everyone, Part 2, featuring guest guitarist Tony Wilson with special guests Inhabitants, and Lee Hutzulak. 8pm at Western Front. Tickets $15 at Front.bc.ca

ONE BAD SON Vancouver rockers with roots in Saskatchewan play in support of Black Buffalo with special guests the Lazys and Franklin’s Dealers. Tickets $15 at Red Cat, Zulu, and BPLive.Electrostub.com DAN DEACON American electronic musician from Baltimore brings his electric live show back to town in support of his latest offering, Glass Riffer. 8pm at The Cobalt. Tickets $15 at TicketWeb.ca

COMEDY R/IMPROV Award-winning comedy troupe, the Fictionals, presents an evening of improv comedy inspired by the stories of Reddit, the online bulletin board system. 8pm at Café Deux Soleils. Tickets $7 at TheFictionals.com or at the door. SPECIAL CHRISTMAS BENEFIT An evening of humour, music and heartwarming stories in support of Chrysalis Society hosted by Jo Dworschak, featuring performances from Beverley Elliot, John Cullen, Lisa Person, Katrina Bennett, Bryant Ross, and Devon More. 7:30pm at Cottage Bistro. Tickets $5 at the door.

THEATRE/DANCE CHELSEA HOTEL: THE SONGS OF LEONARD COHEN A special holiday run of the smash hit musical – a powerful and inspirational production of the songs of the Canadian icon from six performers playing 17 different instruments. 7pm at Firehall Arts Centre. Tickets at FirehallArtsCentre.ca. Runs until Jan. 9.

EVENTS MYTHBUSTERS: JAMIE & ADAM UNLEASHED The stars of Discovery’s truth-seeking television series perform onstage experiments with audience participation, videos, and behind-the-scenes stories from their hit show. 7:30pm at Queen Elizabeth Theatre. Tickets $49.50+ at Ticketmaster.ca

JULY 2-8 // 2015

EVERYTHING VANCOUVER

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JUNE 24-JULY 1 // 2015

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Pugs & Crows, Dec. 17

MUSIC MUSIC IN THE MORNING Columbian virtuoso Edmar Castaneda delivers stunning melodies on the harp alongside Cuban jazz percussionist Dafnis Prieto as they collaborate in this exclusive engagement. 10:30am at Vancouver Academy of Music. Tickets $16+ at MusicInTheMorning.org PYJAMA PARTY East Van Choir Collective, along with The Kingsgate Chorus, Mount Pleasant Regional Institute of Sound, East Side Choir and DJ Pancakes team up for this concert benefitting Vancouver Women’s Health Collective. 7:30pm at Rickshaw Theatre. Tickets $15 at RickshawTheatre.com and TicketFly.com

THEATRE/DANCE LOVE MUSICALLY Off Key Improv presents this heart-warming, musical tribute to the holiday movie Love Actually, exploring the equally romantic, comedic, and musical moments of love, inspired by stories of the audience. 8pm at Studio 1398 on Granville Island. Tickets $18 at LoveMusically. BrownPaperTickets.com. Runs until Dec. 20. PETER AND THE STARCATCHER The story of the celebrated character traces his journey from lonely orphan to beloved boy hero, on an adventure taking him aboard the decks of the Neverland ship. 1:30pm & 7:30pm at Goldcorp Stage at the BMO Theatre Centre. Tickets at ArtsClub.com. Runs until Dec. 27. A CHRISTMAS CAROL: ON THE AIR A tale as old as time breathes new life as the beloved holiday story is transformed into a live 1940s radio show in this stage production from Peter Church. 8pm at Pacific Theatre. Tickets at PacificTheatre.org or at 604-7315518. Runs until Jan. 2.

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JUNE 18-24 // 2015

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THE NAUGHTY & NICE SHOW An evening of live music from Spectregates, Eric Campbell & The Dirt, and Pink Licorice hosted by the fierce and fabulous Tiffany Ann Co. 9:30pm at Biltmore Cabaret. Tickets $8 at TicketFly.com

COMEDY KEVIN BANNER A rising talent in Canadian comedy, having performed with Doug Stanhope, and Norm MacDonald, Banner has appeared at Northwest Comedy Fest, with self-professed “dark” sense of humour tackling tough topics with personable storytelling. 8:30pm at Comedy Mix. Tickets $15 at TheComedyMix.com

THEATRE/DANCE GOH BALLET’S THE NUTCRACKER Experience Clara’s dream come to life as she embarks on a magical journey through the Land of Snow to the Kingdom of Sweets in this traditional rendition of the classical masterpiece, performed to the live music of the Vancouver Opera Orchestra. 7:30pm at The Centre in Vancouver. Tickets at GohNutcracker.com EBENEEZER – A CHRISTMAS GHOST STORY The holiday classic get a dark and twisted rewrite with an entertaining new musical score in a vividly re-imagined story celebrating the grim and macabre aspects of the original. 8pm at Jericho Arts Centre. Tickets at TicketsTonight.TicketForce. com. Runs until Jan. 2.

ART STREETSCAPES BY CAROL MCQUAID Vancouver artist shows a series of recent cityscapes and townscapes in relief printmaking and watercolour, a series focussed on our built environment and how we inhabit it. Opening reception at 6pm at Vancouver East Cultural Centre. Runs until Jan. 25.

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JUNE 11-17 // 2015

EVERYTHING VANCOUVER

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Merry Keithmas

Keithmas co-founders John Hewer (left) and James Hayden (right), getting into the rock ‘n’ roll spirit with musician Rich Hope at the Rickshaw. Dan Toulgoet photo

Food bank ‘fundrager’ celebrates the life and times of Keith Richards KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

Seventy-one-year-old rock god Keith Richards will probably never celebrate his birthday in Vancouver but, if he does, this city has got the party for him. For six years now, the birth of the Rolling Stones guitarist has been honoured in truly bizarro fashion with a local Christmas concert fundraiser for the Greater Vancouver Food Bank Society. Christened “Keithmas”, the annual concert sees Vancouver’s hardest, fastest, and

most virtuosic rockers honouring the oeuvre of Richards and the Rolling Stones, while swaggering about and swilling Jack Daniels – Richards’ alleged drink of choice – from a giant bottle on stage. “Keithmas is a celebration of the life and times of Keith Richards,” explains co-founder and local concert promoter John Hewer, goodnaturedly. “It’s his birthday on December 18th and it’s the Christmas season, so we combined the two to create our own unique holiday.” Obviously. The premise is simple: Each year, Hewer and fellow Hidden Charms promoter James Hayden invite their favourite local bands to take part, with each band choosing three or four songs from the Stones/Richards catalogue to play. Since its inception,

Keithmas has raised roughly $15,000 for the food bank – money that helps the society purchase and distribute food and expand its programs. And, like the grizzled Richards, Keithmas has only gotten better with age: growing from ﬁve bands, a few hundred fundraised dollars and a car load of donated food in 2010, to nine bands and a goal of $10,000 raised this year from donations and the door. Hewer says he now has to turn away bands looking to participate, and that Keithmas, which sold out in advance last year, has outgrown its former venue, the Electric Owl, and will be tearing down the doors of the Rickshaw this year. Of the enduring allure, Hewer attributes it to one simple thing: “[Keith Richards] IS rock ‘n’ roll.

“There’s all sorts of clichés: the outlaw lifestyle, yada, yada,” he continues. “But he represents freedom, really, and to do what one wants to do.The pure essence of rock ‘n’ roll in the one scrawny, bony little man.” Despite having big riffs to ﬁll, the tribute show never gives way to note-for-note “greatest hits” genuﬂection. Instead, Hewer says, Keithmas acts consistently embrace the challenge, putting up Stones songs with entirely new spins or rediscovering forgotten gems. For example, over the years, Keithmas has seen stoner rock act the Highway Kind bringing Alex Chilton’s rarely heard 1970 arrangement of “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” to the fore, or longstanding Keithmas supporter Rich Hope resurrecting the lesser known “Jiving Sister Fanny”.

sounds like they’re ushering us through the doors of

Studio 54, rather than into their seventh studio album. Martin has always had a ﬂair for the cheesy, but it was charming back when he was a young, affable British lad wandering around in a rain slicker. It’s been 15 years since then, and his lyrics have actually gotten worse. “Oh, I.. I’m feelin’ drunk and high, so high, so high” insults the ears in

“Hymn For The Weekend” featuring none other than Beyoncé. The only stand-out track amidst this album of ﬁllers is “Adventure of a Lifetime” (possibly the most ridiculous song title of all time), carrying the kind of catchy disco sound that guilty pleasures are made of. Mid-album, “Kaleidoscope” plays like a medita-

REVIEW // COLDPLAY

A Head Full of Dreams (Parlophone/Atlantic) Welcome to Chris Martin’s mid-life crisis. Opening the album with title track “A Head Full of Dreams”, the British rock band tries their hand at dance-pop, and it

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“Rich Hope and his Evil Doers are, every year, the highlight I would say,” says Hewer. “A couple years ago they did a whole Stones disco take on it, a country vibe to it. Every year he kind of takes a different run at it.” Other Keithmas highlights this year include the Jolts slamming through a punk rock homage, powerpop act the Tranzmitors diving into the Stones’ earlier work, and brothers Kurt and Ryan Dahle, of the New Pornographers and Mounties/Limblifter, respectively, hashing out a mystery collaboration. “Ryan Dahle… his Can-rock pedigree is pretty incredible,” enthuses Hewer. “And Kurt’s drumming is amazing – I’ve admired him as a musician for years. So they’re putting together something and I have no idea what that’s going to sound tive chant, not unlike the one-minute interlude “Color Spectrum”, something one imagines Martin’s therapist might have played while he laid on the couch navigating his “conscious uncoupling” from Gwyneth Paltrow (who contributes backing vocals on a few tracks). Noel Gallagher infamously touted the band as “a bunch of fuckin’

like. If you think Limblifter or Mounties, there’s nothing Stones-like about that at all, so having them on stage is going to be amazing.” And if that – or the scent of cigarette-addled denim and booze-fueled volunteerism – wasn’t appealing enough, Hewer says that Keithmas has also secured the ultimate rafﬂe prize: a pair of Keef’s pants (bringing the organizers one step closer to having the man himself actually there). W

KEITHMAS VI: A FOOD BANK FUNDRAGER

Dec. 18 at 8pm at the Rickshaw Theatre (254 East Hastings). Tickets $15; available at TimbreConcerts.com and Red Cat, Zulu, Highlife and Neptoon. 19+

pansies, the lot of them” back in the early days of their career, yet makes an appearance on closer, “Up&Up”. Keep listening though – there’s a hidden track that sounds nothing like the Coldplay we know, and it makes the entire experience worthwhile. –Krysten Anthony Rating:

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THEATRE

Fringemas sparks Christmas frenzy East Van Panto cooks up a good show

KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

Christmas has come early for Vancouver Fringe Festival lovers with the advent of A Very Merry Fringemas – the festival’s new, one-night-only holiday cabaret and fundraiser, starring your favourite Fringe stars. Host Jayson McDonald, known for Fringe hits Magic Unicorn Island and Giant Invisible Robot, will lead a band of “merry misﬁts” – which so far includes TJ Dawe (Marathon, Medicine), Andrew Bailey (The Adversary, Me, the Queen, and a Coconut), Sydney Hayduk (Village Ax), Jeff Leard (Sperm Wars) and more – as they smash their creative minds together into new sketches, songs, stories, and silliness. “You have the energetic, bright-eyed, enthusiastic folk like Jeff Leard and Sydney Hayduk,” explains McDonald, “and you pair them up with more low-key, subtle people like me… It provides a lot of opportunity for interesting comedy dynamic, for sure,” he says with a laugh. It has also allowed the Fringe friends an excuse to get together and create new work. “This is what’s happening

KELSEY KLASSEN @kelseyklassen

Fringemas performers Jeff Leard (left) and TJ Dawe (right). Contributed photos right as we speak actually,” says McDonald. “People are writing bits, writing bits for others, writing bits together. We’re basically in a frenzy of creating content for the show right now, and it’s happening in little pockets all over the city.” Fringemas is the brainchild of Fringe operations manager Shantini Klaassen and playwright/performer Tara Travis (playing the Wicked Witch in theWizard of Oz now until Jan. 3 at Gateway Theatre), and is a continuation of the fall festival’s move to more

year-round programming. “This year I visited both Orlando and Edmonton to meet with their Fringe producers and learn more about their festivals,” says Klaassen. “They do a lot of different events that are really fun and bring their Fringe community together. I wanted to create an event outside of September that brought the true spirit of Fringe together – uncensored, silly, and celebratory – and I knew Tara and Jayson would bring a high caliber of artists together and create something totally unique.

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“Plus, I love Christmas,” she continues. “I get the same warm fuzzies celebrating during the Christmas season that I do celebrating at the Fringe, so I ﬁgured it was a perfect pairing.” Taking place Dec. 11 at the intimate Studio 1398 on Granville Island, seats for Fringemas are limited and advance tickets ($20) are strongly recommended. W ( .+,$) #,$$) '$*%-,&!" runs Dec. 11 at 8pm at Studio 1398 (1398 Cartwright).Tickets from $20;Tickets.VancouverFringe.com. 19+

Pantomime has a lot in common with fruitcake: no one asks for it, but its schmaltzy excess is a sign of the season and sure to make any recipient laugh. With Hansel and Gretel: An EastVan Panto,Theatre Replacement has forged ahead with tradition to bring Christmas panto to the masses for a third year, pulling East Vancouver-related issues through the keyhole into the setting of a classic fairytale. Building on past themes of real estate (Jack and the Beanstalk) and hipsters (Cinderella), this season scriptwriter and comedian Charlie Demers has sharpened his knives and carved intoVancouver’s selfserious food scene. Set to the tune of Hansel and Gretel – the cautionary Brothers Grimm tale of hapless children who stumble upon a dodgy gingerbread house in the woods – EastVan Panto puts the twins in the clutches of power-hungry food bloggers who decided to ditch their kids in Stanley Park. Few left-leaning political stones, from the transit plebiscite to Stephen Harper’s oust-

ing are left unturned – finding their way into the script in truly amusing moments. Meanwhile musicianVeda Hille rocks the panto’s song and dance numbers with samples from Drake, One Direction, Led Zeppelin, the Eagles and more. As both the evil stepmother and hippie “Sandwitch”, Allan Zinyk nails his shtick, shrieking, shaking his pink, power-suited tush and contorting his face to maximum baddie effect. The scamp Hansel, however, (played by the incredibly watchable Dawn Petten) is the star of the show, riffing off Maiko Yamamoto’s sweet Gretel with lovable bravado.Their comedic efforts are aided by Marina Szijarto’s flawless costumes, Laura Zerebeski’s enchanting Emily Carr-esque backdrops, and the pure gumdrop sweetness of the pintsized woodland kidlets who emerge occasionally to play. And while the show loses momentum in the second act – food puns and novelty somewhat wearing off – EastVan Panto is a colourful comedy smorgasbord for the kids, and a feast of funnies for the adults in tow. W ! On until Jan. 3 at theYork Theatre.Tickets.TheCultch.com.

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Meet Elysia Rotaru, Arrow’s latest mystery woman

Who is Taiana? Vancouver actress dishes on plum ‘Arrow’ role Sabrina Furminger Reel People @Sabrinarmf

Fans have a lot of questions about Taiana, the mysterious character that Elysia Rotaru plays in the fourth season of The CW’s juggernaut superhero show, Arrow – but Rotaru doesn’t have many answers. Or maybe she’s employing her ninja actress skills when she claims that she doesn’t know much about the character with whom Stephen Amell’s Oliver Queen has been bonding in this season’s flashback arc. (For the uninitiated: the flashback arc is a storytelling device that Arrow employs to roll out the Green Arrow’s origin story in parallel to present-day events in Star City). “I say this truthfully: I don’t know,” laughs the Vancouver actress during a recent interview in the lobby of a downtown hotel. “We don’t know, and at the end of the day, it’s exciting, because I have to be on my game every day, and to have my dialects ready, my body ready, and my brain ready.” What Rotaru can say is that she admires that Taiana – a slave labourer on the island of Lian Yu, where Oliver transforms from billionaire playboy into bow-and-arrowwielding vigilante – has real fight in her. “I think she’s pure,” says Rotaru. “She’s been through a lot, and she has nowhere to hide.” To date, Rotaru’s scenes have mostly been with series star Amell. Rotaru – whose previous credits include Supernatural, Smallville, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, and iZombie – describes Amell as a “nourishing dude.”

REVIEW // LEGEND

Starring Tom Hardy, Emily Browning Directed by Brian Helgeland As if Tom Hardy’s year hasn’t been varied enough, the actor stretches his versatility once more to play not one, but two roles in the gangster biopic Legend. The thespian portrays the infamous real-life Kray brothers, identical twins who ruled London’s criminal under-

Vancouver actress Elysia Rotaru stars in The CW’s hit superhero show, Arrow. Matt Lawrence Dix photo “For me it’s nice when someone of that caliber embraces you into the ensemble, and he did,” says Rotaru. “I walked into the tent when we were on location, and he said, ‘Hey, nice to meet you, let me know if I can do anything,’ I was like, ‘Perfect, I will!’” Amell’s Oliver is one-part of the fan-favourite ‘Olicity’ pairing (the other part being Felicity, played by Emily Bett Rickards). Rotaru remembers the world in the 1960s. Reggie is the bespectacled, mild-mannered sibling, while Ronnie is the hulking, openly-gay psychotic. To watch Hardy intricately tackle each character is fascinating; equally intriguing is how the ﬁlm’s creators were able to mesh an actor playing two roles so seamlessly on a technical level. Still, as impressive as its lead star is, Legend suffers from a number of problems that result in a muddled

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moment when news broke that her character would be romantically linked with Oliver – something fans of Olicity weren’t keen to hear. “I was sitting on the Lions Gate Bridge in my car coming home from a voiceover session and my phone exploded, and it was all of these friends, family, and people cheering, and then fans being like, ‘What the hell?! No!’” she marvels. “It was a weird energy, and I didn’t get it.”

Now that it’s clear that Rotaru’s character is pretty much in Oliver’s past (at least, that’s the conclusion that Reel People is drawing based on what’s aired to date), her fan interactions have been overwhelmingly positive. “I appreciate the energy coming at me. I just don’t know how to receive it or work with it yet, if that makes sense,” she says. “I’m looking forward to doing a comic-con.” Rotaru grew up in Van-

affair. The opening scene consists of a shot of the Kray brothers sitting inside a car as the voice of Emily Browning (who eventually becomes the romantic interest for Reggie) provides some awful exposition that spells out exactly who these guys were. Throwing subtlety aside so quickly hurts the tone of the movie and it has trouble recovering as the story unfolds. Helgeland demonstrates some keen direction and captures several breathtak-

ing fight sequences but he comes up short in the writing department as Legend feels, at times, like a knockoff Scorsese TV movie (Carter Burwell’s unusually bland score never fits the mood either). The decision to focus more on the film’s romantic sub-plot and less on sibling rivalry also makes for tedious plotting. Hardy offers up moments of brilliance here, it’s too bad they’re not in a better film. –Thor Diakow

couver, and the arts were always present in her life. She started playing the piano when she was two: classical music when her parents were listening, and Bryan Adams when they weren’t. As a teenager, Rotaru was a loner. “I was a disturbed, awesome, intense, aggressive, deep-tissue weirdo,” she says, grinning. But she was comfortable being different. “I had this disciplined, but freeing

childhood,” she says. “My parents were super open to the arts, but they were also like, ‘Do math, do school, get your brain in.’” Rotaru modeled, and was an army cadet. Increasingly, she found a home away from home in the theatre. “The theatre was where I was really allowing the authentic voice that I had, and the authentic body and movement that I had, to come into one,” says Rotaru, who ultimately studied theatre at Simon Fraser University. “I was attracted to those moments when the imagination, the body, and the voice came together.” Here’s how Rotaru entered the film & TV biz: One day, while working as a medical office assistant at a clinic in North Van, a man asked her out on date. She said no. He left, and then returned, this time to deliver a business card. “He said, ‘You should call my brother, he’s an agent,’ and I was like, ‘This is so weird,’” says Rotaru. But after a couple of days and some research to make sure the agency was legit, Rotaru called the number on the card. “They saw me, signed me, and within two or three weeks of being with them, I was flown down to LA to test for 90210.” Rotaru didn’t book the 90210 gig, but many others followed. Her filmography encompasses all kinds of roles, and her favourites are those where she can “go balls out and bring all of that training that I have to fruition, where I’m utilizing the viewpoints and vocal work and all of that stuff.” Taiana, she says, counts as one of those kinds of roles. “I’m really allowed to explore this character more in depth because of the time,” says Rotaru. “They’re giving me the time to play and work and have fun.” W

ARROW airs Wednesdays at 8pm on CTV.

Tom Hardy in Legend

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CARNEY’S CORNER

LIFESTYLES //

SaInT nICholaS SPeCIal Unique top floor home with real chimney so all the traditional Christmas action can take place with the stockings hung on the mantle over the wood burning fireplace and the soaring vaulted ceilings and skylights can host your grandest tree! This two bedroom and super size solarium takes up half the top floor of boutique style strata in central West End and features windows on three sides, insuite laundry, hardwood floor and more. Pet friendly. This is one you have to see! $609,000

REAL ESTATE Trump name would make tower ‘beacon of racism’ EMMA CRAWFORD HAMPEL @bizinvancouver

Former Vancouver chief planner Brent Toderian is asking Vancouverites to call on the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Vancouver to remove any reference to the Trump name.Vancouver Coun. Kerry Jang said he agrees and sent a message to Holborn Group CEO Joo Kim Tiah this morning asking him to think about the message the Trump name sends. “To have his name here, it’s just reprehensible,” Jang said. “When I heard the news this morning, the ﬁrst thing I thought was we have this damn Trump tower going in. It’s like a beacon of racism.” This comes after GOP candidate Donald Trump issued an ofﬁcial statement saying he

thinks there should be a total ban on Muslims entering the United States. “As Trump calls to ban Muslims from entering the US, I seriously suggest that Vancouverites call on @TrumpVancouver to remove his name,”Toderian tweeted on Monday (Dec. 7).Toderian later said Vancouverites should direct this call to the developers, Holborn Holdings and Malaysia’s TA Global. As of press time, Holborn has not returned calls for comment. “Government doesn’t have any control over what developers call their buildings, and I suspect even the developer probably has limited ﬂexibility at this stage,”Toderian said. “They are getting close to launching their building, they’ve picked a partner and taken the partner’s name, and it’s prob-

ably contractually locked up. But I don’t know that.” The problem with having Trump’s name attached to the building is that Trump’s brand is contrary to the values held by Canadians in general and Vancouverites in particular,Toderian said. All he is hoping for is a discourse about how appropriate it is for a building to be associated with the Trump brand. Jang agreed, pointing out that Trump defended his proposal to ban all Muslims from the US by comparing it to former president Franklin Roosevelt’s decision to intern Japanese-Americans during Second World War. “I couldn’t believe my ears. Here in Vancouver we’ve worked very hard to reconcile with Canadians of Japanese descent,” Jang said. W

Rob Joyce

A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS in upper floor northwest corner suite west of Denman showcasing mountain, harbour, Stanley Park and English Bay views. Comfortable two bedroom with spacious open plan balcony allows for entertaining and holiday house guests. A well maintained reinforced concrete strata building nestled in lush gardens, offering a seasonal pool and a perfect quiet location, steps to Stanley Park, Lost Lagoon and Coal Harbour seawall is very hard to come by! Great opportunity just in time for New Year! $519,000

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aWaRD WInnInG SeRVICe Liz Carney in association with Realty World and Century 21 In Town Realty has delivered award winning service to locals, visitors, investors and families of homeowners for over 25 years. WanTeD! Buyers waiting for suites in the El Cid, Huntington, Sandpiper and Stratford’s concrete hirises off Denman. Please call if you or anyone you know is considering a move. Qualified local buyers ready to act!

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New info always available on the website; an opportunity for community to stay in touch and keep up on local issues. www.westendneighbours.ca

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West End Specialists

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Sales Associate Roger Ross

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West End quality homes

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December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 17

SPONSORED CONTENT

Easy money, hard lessons: New CFSEU-BC report puts the realities of gang life in stark focus Special to Glacier Media

usan (not her real name) remembers the cramped, smelly bus ride from Vancouver to Calgary. She is carrying a bag of cash, intended to buy drugs from gang members in Calgary. When she gets there, she meets two men in a parking lot. The exchange goes wrong. One of the men hits her. She falls to the ground. And then they start kicking her. When they stop, the money is gone. The drugs are gone. Susan is lying bloodied on the pavement. But she is worried – in fact, frightened to death – about one thing above all: how she is going to explain what happened to her gang bosses back home. Raw, gritty and told by Susan herself, her story is the centrepiece of the latest Community Report from B.C.’s Combined Forces Special Enforcement Unit (CFSEUBC), the province’s integrated antigang police agency. Formed in 2009, CFSEU-BC is tasked with combating gang activity throughout the province, and since 2013 it has published annual community reports as part of its

public education and advocacy efforts. The theme of the 2015 report is “Youth, Girls and, Gangs,” with stories and commentary that focus on the increasing involvement of younger people and women in gangs. “The gang landscape in BC is continually changing,” says Constable Jordan McLellan, community engagement ofﬁcer for CFSEU-BC. “The typical gangster used to be a male in his late 20s, but now very young men and women are getting involved in the gang lifestyle. Some are as young as 15 – children who can’t really appreciate the consequences of their actions.” According to the CFSEU-BC report, the average age of a victim of gang violence 10 years ago was 30. Today, the average is 25, and the youngest victim this year was only 15 years old. Why the increase? Recruiters for gangs actively prey on youth’s naïveté. Culture plays a part, too, with easy access by ever-younger kids to glamorized gang images in TV shows, music and movies. For too many, it works. “There’s an allure to the gang lifestyle – an easy life, lots of money, girls will like you, people will

respect you,” says McLellan. “The reality is that the life is not easy, the money goes just as fast as it comes, and you end up destroying your relationships with friends and family.” Sadly, it’s a similar pattern for the increasing number of girls recruited into BC gangs. Typically, young women get involved because they are seduced by the seemingly lavish lifestyle gangsters enjoy. Many begin the journey as girlfriends, but after a time they take on more active roles, like holding drugs or hiding weapons. Some, like Susan, get more deeply involved. But there is hope. Although violence spiked in the ﬁrst half of the year, with 30 gang-related homicides and attempted homicides, the longer-term trend is toward a steady decline in gang activity since 2008, when there were 51 gangrelated homicides and attempted homicides in BC. Last year, there were 18 such incidents, according to CFSEU-BC. One of the reasons for that trend is CFSEU-BC’s enforcement and investigative activities, resulting in several arrests of high-level gang criminals this year.

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As well, the unit has launched a high-proﬁle “prevention through education” program called End Gang Life (endganglife.ca), whose goal is to keep people out of gangs by telling the other side of the story. A multi-media campaign that features a website, posters, radio ads, and thought-provoking videos, End Gang Life reveals the hard realities of gang activity, and the damage it does to individuals, families and communities. The program also provides parent resources in eight different languages, to help adults have frank and effective conversations with their kids about gangs. “These resources are a good start to having a discussion,” says McLellan. “Parents need to understand that it may be a hard talk to have with your kids, but it will be easier than talking about their funeral.” For Susan – who is, at last, out

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of gangs – the impact of the End Gang Life campaign is very real. Earlier this year, after she saw the posters and visited the website, she approached CFSEU-BC with an offer to tell her story and help educate other young women on the realities of life as a gang member. “I was young, I was stupid, and I would caution any kid against this,” she writes in the report. “What I lived through, I didn’t come out unscathed. I came out damaged, with wounds that’ll never heal and emotional scars that will linger forever.” The full CFSEU-BC 2015 Community Report, “Youth, Girls, and Gangs,” is available online at bc-anti-gang.com

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REAL ESTATE //

@WESTENDERVAN MAUREEN YOUNG

PERSONAL REAL ESTATE CORPORATION

Certified Senior Agent & Luxury Marketing Specialist

Senior Mortgage Advisor

OVER 50 SALES THIS YEAR – CHAIRMAN CLUB AWARD WINNER AGAIN

CURRENT RATES 5 Year Fixed 5 Year Variable

Thank you so much to all my clients, friends & family for supporting our business.We look forward to working with you next year.

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS & ALL THE BEST IN 2016. More on My Website at: www.MichaelDowling.ca

SOME OF OUR 2015 SOLDS:

(Prime less 0.55%)

SOLD!

Rates subject to change without notice. O.A.C.

LOOKING TO BUY? Make sure you are pre-approved for a mortgage so you know what you can afford and have protection from any increases in interest rates. Contact me for all your purchase, refinance and renewal options.

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December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 19

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F AMILIES

LIFESTYLES //

HEALTH

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Root veggies: love them or hate them, most of them are available year round for your inexpensive eating pleasure. And although some may resemble aliens or genitalia, they are packed with nutrients and minerals that will do your

body good. Unfortunately they are often unappreciated, taken for granted and tossed aside into a side dish. However, I encourage you to become a root veggie ninja and sneak them in a main dish, get your nutrients and show off your culinary skills like a boss. Root vegetables generally grow underground, soaking in the nutrients from the soil. Unfortunately, they can also absorb toxins from the ground, so choosing local and

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organic is always the better option whenever possible. Another way to get more from your root veggies is by selecting fresh and firm produce, as it will enhance the flavour and nutrient content. I’m sure you are already pretty familiar with a lot of root vegetables as they tend to be staples in most kitchens: carrots, potatoes, beets, sweet potatoes, yams, turnips, daikon, radishes and parsnips, onions, as well as spices such as ginger, garlic and turmeric. Making root vegetables a part of your regular diet is a great way to make sure you are getting enough nutrients into your body.They also contain slow digesting carbohydrates and tons of fibre to keep your flow on the regular, if you get my drift.They can be eaten cooked or raw for your eating pleasure. Steam them, boil them or even grate them into a salad.There are many ways to reap their many health benefits.

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Believe it or not, this is the number one food crop in the world and they come loaded with vitamin C, B6, antioxidants, potassium, manganese and copper.The next time you get yourself a spud, I encourage you to really savour and feature it’s ﬂavours by just adding some butter and maybe salt and pepper; don’t drown it out with a million toppings you know you don’t need. Keep stored in a cool, dry place (not the refrigerator) so it will keep longer, and avoid the temptation of storing it in a plastic bag; brown paper bag is best to not trap moisture.

CARROTS

They come in a variety of colours other than your traditional orange; have you ever had a purple carrot? They are pretty delicious and super fun to play with. Carrots have been known to be great for the eyes and are high in vitamin A, B, C, E, and K, and you can even eat the tops (try adding them to soups or even a salad).

ONIONS

Great for your intake of vitamin C, folate, potassium and copper.These lovely balls of fun help support better bone density, are good for your cardiovascular system and have antibacterial properties. Onion fun fact:The outer layers are more nutrient dense than the inner layers, so don’t over-peel!

BEETS

These purple-coloured root veggies are packed with antioxidants, vitamin C, magnesium and iron.They are great for your blood and your nervous system. Enjoy them steamed, roasted and even raw.The world is your oyster, your very purple oyster. I suggest you don’t wear white.

PARSNIPS

Before potatoes took over, parsnips were the most popular kids on the block and a household staple. They look like big white onions and are a great source of vitamin C and manganese. If you like retro things then parsnips are your game. Get adventurous out there, no regrets! W $(%/%,&*/,*!+*1.-4" )41 2 '1*2, 142/,*+ 0**, /2#2+ 1*-%3*.

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LIFESTYLES //

@WESTENDERVAN

SEX

Free Will Astrology Ask Mish: Oral By Rob Brezsny “Happiness sneaks through a door you didn’t know that you left open,” said actor John Barrymore. I hope you’ve left open a lot of those doors, Aries. The more there are, the happier you will be. This is the week of all weeks when joy, pleasure, and even zany bliss are likely to find their ways into your life from unexpected sources and unanticipated directions. If you’re lucky, you also have a few forgotten cracks and neglected gaps where fierce delights and crisp wonders can come wandering in.

What state of mind do you desire the most? What is the quality of being that you aspire to inhabit more and more as you grow older? Maybe it’s the feeling of being deeply appreciated, or the ability to see things as they really are, or an intuitive wisdom about how to cultivate vibrant relationships. I invite you to set an intention to cultivate this singular experience with all your passion and ingenuity. The time is right. Make a pact with yourself.

Like Metallica jamming with Nicki Minaj and Death Cab for Cutie on a passage from Mozart’s opera The Magic Flute, you are redefining the meanings of the words “hybrid,” “amalgam,” and “hodgepodge.” You’re mixing metaphors with panache. You’re building bridges with cheeky verve. Some of your blends are messy mishmashes, but more often they are synergistic successes. With the power granted to me by the gods of mixing and matching, I hereby authorize you to keep splurging on the urge to merge. This is your special time to experiment with the magic of combining things that have rarely or never been combined.

I hope you can figure out the difference between the fake cure and the real cure. And once you know which is which, I hope you will do the right thing rather than the sentimental thing. For best results, keep these considerations in mind: The fake cure may taste sweeter than the real one. It may also be better packaged and more alluringly promoted. In fact, the only advantage the real cure may have over the fake one is that it will actually work to heal you.

There’s a sinuous, serpentine quality about you these days. It’s as if you are the elegant and crafty hero of an epic myth set in the ancient future. You are sweeter and saucier than usual, edgier and more extravagantly emotive. You are somehow both a repository of tantalizing secrets and a fount of arousing revelations. As I meditate on the magic you embody, I am reminded of a passage from Laini Taylor’s fantasy novel Daughter of Smoke & Bone: “She tastes like nectar and salt. Nectar and salt and apples. Pollen and stars and hinges. She tastes like fairy tales. Swan maiden at midnight. Cream on the tip of a fox’s tongue. She tastes like hope.”

I bought an old horoscope book at a garage sale for 25 cents. The cover was missing and some pages were water-damaged, so parts of it were hard to decipher. But the following passage jumped out at me: “In romantic matters, Virgos initially tend to be cool, even standoffish. Their perfectionism may interfere with their ability to follow through on promising beginnings. But if they ever allow themselves to relax and go further, they will eventually ignite. And then, watch out! Their passion will generate intense heat and light.” I suspect that this description may apply to you in the coming weeks. Let’s hope you will trust your intuition about which possibilities warrant your caution and which deserve your opening.

“The secret of being a bore is to tell everything,” said French writer Voltaire. I agree, and add these thoughts: To tell everything also tempts you to wrongly imagine that you have everything completely figured out. Furthermore, it may compromise your leverage in dicey situations where other people are using information as a weapon. So the moral of the current story is this: Don’t tell everything! I realize this could be hard, since you are a good talker these days; your ability to express yourself is at a peak. So what should you do? Whenever you speak, aim for quality over quantity. And always weave in a bit of mystery.

Ducks are the most unflappable creatures I know. Cats are often regarded as the top practitioners of the “I don’t give a f---” attitude, but I think ducks outshine them. When domestic felines exhibit their classic aloofness, there’s sometimes a subtext of annoyance or contempt. But ducks are consistently as imperturbable as Zen masters. Right now, as I gaze out my office window, I’m watching five of them swim calmly, with easygoing nonchalance, against the swift current of the creek in the torrential rain. I invite you to be like ducks in the coming days. Now is an excellent time to practice the high art of truly not giving a f---.

My old friend Jeff started working at a gambling casino in Atlantic City. “You’ve gone over to the dark side!” I kidded. He acknowledged that 90 per cent of the casino’s visitors lose money gambling. On the bright side, he said, 95 per cent of them leave happy. I don’t encourage you to do this kind of gambling in the near future, Sagittarius. It’s true that you will be riding a lucky streak. But smarter, surer risks will be a better way to channel your good fortune. So here’s the bottom line: In whatever way you choose to bet or speculate, don’t let your lively spirits trick you into relying on pure impulsiveness. Do the research. Perform your due diligence. It’s not enough just to be entertained. The goal is to both have fun and be successful.

Ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus was a pioneer thinker whose ideas helped pave the way for the development of science. Believe nothing, he taught, unless you can evaluate it through your personal observation and logical analysis. Using this admirable approach, he determined that the size of our sun is about two feet in diameter. I’m guessing that you have made comparable misestimations about at least two facts of life, Capricorn. They seem quite reasonable but are very wrong. The good news is that you will soon be relieved of those mistakes. After some initial disruption, you will feel liberated.

Aquarian inventor Thomas Edison owned 1,093 patents. Nicknamed “The Wizard of Menlo Park,” he devised the first practical electrical light bulb, the movie camera, the alkaline storage battery, and many more useful things. The creation he loved best was the phonograph. It was the first machine in history that could record and reproduce sound. Edison bragged that no one else had ever made such a wonderful instrument. It was “absolutely original.” I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because I think you’re due for an outbreak of absolute originality. What are the most unique gifts you have to offer? In addition to those you already know about, new ones may be ready to emerge.

Here’s an experiment that makes good astrological sense for you to try in the coming weeks. Whenever you feel a tinge of frustration, immediately say, “I am an irrepressible source of power and freedom and love.” Anytime you notice a trace of inadequacy rising up in you, or a touch of blame, or a taste of anger, declare, “I am an irresistible magnet for power and freedom and love.” If you’re bothered by a mistake you made, or a flash of ignorance expressed by another person, or a maddening glitch in the flow of the life force, stop what you’re doing, interrupt the irritation, and proclaim, “I am awash in power and freedom and love.”

Dec. 10: Meg White (41) Dec. 11: Nikki Sixx (57) Dec. 12: Frank Sinatra (100) Dec. 13: Taylor Swift (26) Dec. 14: Jade Bryce (27) Dec. 15: Paul Simonon (60) Dec. 16: Krysten Ritter (34)

Westender.com

favours and betrayal Sex with Mish Way

@MyszkaWay I love my boyfriend, but he absolutely refuses to go down on me. He says he doesn’t like the taste, which I think is bullshit. I’m not crazy about the taste of cock, but I still go down on him, because I want him to be happy! Is it unfair for me to expect him to down on me if I go down on him? Is there anything I can do to make the taste more pleasant for him? –Bone Dry Pussy The taste excuse. I thought this whole thing got settled when Kevin Smith put that great scene in comic culture classic Chasing Amy, when Banky (the “tracer”) and Alyssa (the too-perfect lesbian artist) talk about eating pussy? Maybe millennials forgot about how many weirdly on-point moments there were in Kevin Smith movies? Maybe they just heard about the boner, stoner jokes? But I digress. It’s insulting for him to say he won’t go down on you because of your “taste”, but that’s just my knee jerk reaction. I own a pussy myself, so I’m invested in your problem. Did he broach the subject with a cunt hair of sensitivity? Let me guess, your pubes gross him out too. Look, not everyone has to be one of those men that dives head first between your legs like he’s replaying his birth in reverse, but if you are unsatisfied and this bums you out then you have to say something.Try doing so when his dick is nowhere near your mouth. Yes, there are things you can try that might help you taste better, but nothing has been scientifically proven to help.There are preventative measures, but apparently they can sometimes make matters worse: cotton underwear, probiotic foods on the regular (weirdly, miso and kimchi are an alternative if you hate yogurt) and lots and lots of water. Some magazines paint stories of pineapples, mint, apples and cranberries as magic pussy perfume, while swearing that alcohol, coffee, cigarettes and red meat ultimately turn your sweat into sour cabbage and your vagina into an ashtray. Only you can figure out your own PH balance with trial and error. If all else fails, buy him one of those nose plugs for lane swimmers and a dental dam. Hopefully he’ll see how ridiculous it is to wear water wings in the shallow end.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about four years now. A couple years ago, we got into a big fight right before she left for a trip back home to Ontario. At the time she made it very clear (I thought) that she was breaking up with me. She even boxed up all the shit I had left at her house and gave it back to me. Message received, loud and clear. So, being recently single, I had (protected) sex a number of times with a number of women while she was away. It was a pretty fun month, not gonna lie. Not long after she got back, we reconciled, and things have been going great ever since. I never told her I had sex while we were split up, because it’s none of her business. Anyways, I recently let slip what happened while we were split up and she absolutely flipped, accusing me of cheating on her and putting her health at risk by sleeping with other women. I think she’s WAY out of line, considering SHE broke up with ME, and I used a condom every time. What do you think? Was this the grand betrayal she makes it out to be? –Anonymous

So, this is not a “grand betrayal”.You really did nothing wrong except for opening your big mouth and telling her. That was really stupid. You made your bed, now lie in it. Next to her. As she gives you the cold shoulder

and huffs on cue like she’s on stage. Your girlfriend broke up with you. She made it clear this was over.You are free to go ahead and sleep with whomever you want. Did she know any of these women? Were they her friends? (I’m going to assume “no” because if you had done that your question would be much different.) You did the normal thing any of us would do.You got wasted at the bar, waited to see what kind of pseudo lot lizards were trolling around at last call and had a wild streak of one-night stands. People grieve in different ways. Yours was perhaps more stereotypical and way more fun. Your girlfriend has no right to yell at you for sleeping with people after she dumped you. However, she can yell at you for being such a moron and telling her about it. Oscar Wilde once wrote on a napkin, “Men always want to be a woman’s ﬁrst love; women like to be a man’s last romance.” Then, he blew his nose with it, rolled over and spooned his wife, Constance Lloyd, until she forgave him for sleeping around when they were on a break. W

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Quadriplegic physician in West Kits near UBC requires. f/t live-in personal care assistant. 12-7pm mon-fri. Duties: cooking, shopping, housekeeping, computer work. Personal care includes transfers wheelchair to bed, bladder catheterizations, medications, bathing. Effective time management essential. Position available as permanent, with minimum 1 year commitment required. Experience not essential, training provided. Class 5 drivers license necessary. Private bedroom and board provided. Must livein and be available from 12 midnight - 7am for emergencies. Training provided immediately. Salary TBA. Full time position commences Monday, December. 28th, but can move in weekend December 26th. Submit cover letter and resume by email: johnaj@telus.net

GENERAL EMPLOYMENT Instructors Required for Gymnastic Classes in Schools. Must be hardworking, athletic & energetic. Email resume to: gymsense@gmail.com

NOW HIRING • BUILDING SERVICE WORKER (Perm/PT 24 hrs/wk) Sun, Wed,Thurs 8am-5pm. WHMIS Cert. preferred. FULL BENEFITS. For more information visit: covenanthousebc.org or email resume to: hr@covenanthousebc.org

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FLOORING

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December 10 - December 16, 2015 W 23

FESTIVE ENTERTAINING

Effective December 10 to December 16, 2015.

100% BC Owned and Operated PRODUCE

MEAT Texas Rio Star Grapefruit

Organic Fair Trade Hass Avocados from Pragor Cooperative, Mexico

Sockeye Salmon Fillets value pack, previously frozen

2.27kg/5lb bag

2/5.00 Organic California Grown Red and Green Dandelion

Whole Organic Chickens

3.99lb/ 8.80kg

4.98

1.38lb/ 3.04kg

9.99lb/ 22.02kg

GROCERY 65-78g

946ml product of BC

2.99 classic

Danone Activia Yogurt and Danino Drinkables

assorted varieties

SAVE

33% 2/4.98

assorted varieties

assorted varieties 250-500g or ml

SAVE

40%

Dalla Terra Antipastos and Roasted Vegetables

125 - 200g

32%

assorted varieties and sizes

946ml product of USA/Canada

SAVE

product of USA

370-430g product of BC

( product may not be exactly as shown )

2.49 package of 2

7.99 5.99 mozzarella

38% 2/4.98

Spectrum Culinary Oils

Gingerbread People Cookies

SAVE

assorted varieties

GLUTEN FREE

assorted varieties

375-500ml • product of Bulgaria

Natur-A Dairy Free Beverages

4.29

Rocky Mountain Flatbread Frozen Pizzas

product of Britain

3.99 200g each

6.99 each

SAVE

assorted varieties

2/3.99 - 2/4.99

While quantities last. Not all items available at all stores. We reserve the right to correct printing errors.

product of France

product of BC

32% 1.39 3.39

assorted varieties

Choices’ Own 7 Layer Dip

225ml

29% 3.99

SAVE

34% 2/6.98

St. Dalfour Fruit Spreads

product of Canada

1.99/ 100g

SAVE

Olympic Sour Cream or Cream Cheese

8 pack

Choices’ Own Specialty Chicken Wings

assorted varieties product of USA

UP TO

Carr’s Table Water Crackers and Entertainment Crackers

Kitchen Basics Cooking Stock 946ml

product of USA

2/4.98

22%

Surf Sweets or Trujoy Candy assorted varieties

assorted varieties

UP TO

6.99lb/ 15.41kg

DELI

Dairyland Egg Nog

SAVE

Loin Centre Boneless Pork Chops

Organic Stewing Beef

BC Grown Anjou Pears

2/3.00

11.99lb/ 26.43kg

BAKERY xxx

Echoclean Dish Liquid

xxx • product of xxx

assorted varieties

Mince Vegetarian Tarts

740ml product of Canada

UP TO

SAVE

38% 3/5.97

40%

SAVE

3.99 - 16.99

WELLNESS Natural Factors Sleep Relax, Stress Relax or Vitaman D Products

20% off

regular retail price

Bio - K + Probiotics Assorted Varieties 6 packs and 12 packs

20% off

regular retail price

Spoonk Acupressure Hemp Mat Assorted Colours

49.99 full Size 26.99 travel size Megafood Turmeric Strength with Free Turmeric Nutrient Booster

44.99 60 tablets

www.choicesmarkets.com

50%

2/4.39

2.99 package of 2 6.49 package of 6

Choices’ Star of the Season Program November 15th – December 24th Your donation of only $2 supports the growth of healthy communities. Now in its 14th year, Choices’ Star of the Season Program enriches the lives of families all across Metro Vancouver and the Okanagan. Kindly donated by Calabar Printers, Choices’ Holiday Stars may be purchased between November 15th and December 24th for a donation of $2.00.

For more details on each neighbourhood house, please visit our website, www.choicesmarkets.com.

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