Ranch Wife Wisdom

RANCH WIFE WISDOM

ARTICLE AND PHOTOS BY KATE SANCHEZ

If you’ve ever been fortunate enough to spend a day with a ranch wife, you’ll understand what a rare breed they are. You see, when you marry a cowboy, you quickly come to terms with the fact that you no longer choose your profession. You’re now part of a group of women who live a life of humble blessings and marginal wages, and part of something that will impact your life in a way nothing else has, or ever will again. You’re a ranch wife, and as great as it sounds, make no mistake, there will be bumpy roads ahead (pun intended). But for every trying situation you’ll face; every first-calf heifer that leaves you with another mouth to feed, or bull who refuses to be penned when you have no help; there will be twice as many things that make you thankful for this job. It’s not easy, but it certainly is rewarding.

For years, women have been considered equal counterparts on ranches. Never have cowboys made them feel any less important because they’re female. And because women on the ranch have historically been as important in day-to-day operations as the men, it’s those ladies who deserve the credit for much of the “behind the scenes” work. While I’m lacking in years of marriage compared to some ranch wives I know, there are numerous things I’ve learned from these west Texas women in a fairly short amount of time. There are also things that I’d want to share with any young lady thinking of choosing the same path in life. We’ll call it ranch-wife-wisdom, and it’s something the rest of the world could use a little more of!

Danielle Peters and her husband, Zack now reside on the legendary King Ranch in south Texas, but the couple has also worked on some of the biggest ranches in west Texas. Peters’ words of wisdom are simple: “always be willing to help”. From maintaining a plentiful pantry when you’re asked to cook for the crew, to making sure you have formula on hand for a new calf your husband might bring home, she says that offering help is one of the biggest ranch wife roles there is. “No, you most likely won’t get paid”, she shares, “but take pride in knowing you’re just as much of an asset in helping keep the ranch running smoothly…remember marriage is a partnership and you are your husband’s right-hand man.”

Deana Washington is a ranch wife to husband Tim, lead camp man and horse manager at The Matador Ranch, in Matador, TX. In sitting down with her, Washington expresses her biggest advice to any women in this situation: keeping God at the center of your marriage and life. Like many ranch wives, Washington feels the need to keep God as the third part of her marriage, and adds that when in doubt, get on your knees and pray about it.

Kassie Flake’s husband, Skyler, is a camp man on the Triangle Ranch in Crowell, TX. Her biggest piece of advice is to avoid coming into the ranch wife role with misguided ideas about the life and the occupation. Flake has learned through experience that being a ranch wife isn’t nearly as “romantic” as everyone thinks it sounds, as there is a certain ebb and flow that comes with living it. “You get to see beauty each and every day, but you will also see the not so beautiful”, she shares, “There will be beautiful life witnessed and unfortunate death. You will experience the joy of wet years with plenty of grass and fat cows and then the sorrow of drought and having to ship cows because there is no water and no grass. It’s an inevitable cycle that you have to try to stay positive through.”

And, like the rest of these women, I also have several things that I’d like for a younger generation of ranch wives to know, but I’ll just share a few of the most important here. Don’t expect to stay on a schedule! In other words, don’t get too attached to plans. Though it may overwhelm some people, a hectic schedule is somewhat of a norm for ranch wives and cowboys alike. Ranch folk are true chameleons, as their day-to-day jobs differ greatly, and the good Lord laughs when they even start to think of a full day planned out to the minute. If you think you’re starting to get “into the swing of things” in terms of a daily routine, just wait… it won’t last.

And along those same lines, learn patience. The lack of a set schedule leads to times when sitting in the pickup for hours on end or waiting for the crew to show up to eat becomes a norm. Firstcalf heifers calve at their own pace and if they need help, you may have to play the waiting game until the right time to come to one’s aid. Patience isn’t my strong suit by any means, but in taking on the role as a ranch wife, it’s something I’ve had to work on, because often, the best things in life take a great deal of time.

And finally, realize how lucky you truly are. In this role, we get to experience some of the greatest things this life has to offer. We see air that breathes the life into every promising sunrise. We work hand-in-hand with men who truly respect us and appreciate the efforts we put forth in all our duties. Many of us are blessed to raise children who mimic the actions and words of their elders, cowboys and cowgirls alike, and there’s nothing better than that. My biggest pearl of ranch wife wisdom to anyone younger than myself is simple: appreciate this life, it’s truly rare, remarkably special, and something very few people will ever be lucky enough to have a hand in!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Kate Sanchez is a freelance journalist based out of Matador, TX. She writes for several publications, most which are equine-related. She and her husband, Ben, have lived on the Matador Ranch for almost 4 years, where he holds a camp man position. The couple has one daughter, Haven, who is one year old. Kate graduated from Eastern NM University with a degree in Journalism and minor in Agriculture in 2009.