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westerngazette.ca THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016 • WESTERN UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER • VOLUME 109 ISSUE 46 throw the beer down the well since 1906

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, ya damn hooligans Getting through this day of debauchery is hard.

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2 • THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016

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PROFILE KIRILL KOKORIN

Volume 109, Issue 46 WWW.WESTERNGAZETTE.CA University Community Centre Rm. 263 Western University London, ON, CANADA N6A 3K7 Editorial 519.661.3580 Advertising 519.661.3579

IAIN BOEKHOFF EDITOR-IN-CHIEF @IAINATGAZETTE

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NEWS DRISHTI KATARIA KATIE LEAR AMY O’KRUK RITA RAHMATI BREAKING NEWS HAMZA TARIQ OPINIONS BRADLEY METLIN ARTS & LIFE SAMAH ALI RICHARD JOSEPH MOSES MONTEROZZA ROBERT NANNI SPORTS HALA GHONAIM SERENA QUINN SHANE ROBERTS

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they have these huge diving boards that are 10 metres high, so whenever I’m not doing business, I’m doing backflips off those things,” Kirill says.

For Kirill Kokorin, his dreams for his business, a venture in door-to-door sales and marketing, is one of his major passions.

“I believe that it is so much more powerful following your own vision, rather than making somebody else’s dream come true,” Kirill says. “It’s been going fairly well so far and I’ve been enjoying every moment of it.”

COMPOSING MAJA ANJOLI-BILIĆ ROBERT ARMSTRONG

STAFF ERIC BAJZERT, JENNIFER BALL, MAAILAH BLACKWOOD, SHACHAR DAHAN, MIKE DEBOER, SABRINA FRACASSI,

“[Door-to-door sales taught me] how to take a solid no and turn it into a yes, and I was able to translate this into every part of my life,” he says.

For Kirill, however, work isn’t his entire life. Part of the reason he loves the field so much is for the chance to meet different people and connect with them on different levels.

“Networking to me is very important,” Kirill says.

“Wherever I go, it doesn’t matter if it’s the library or the gym, I will always want to meet people — you never know who you’re going to meet anywhere.”

O’SHEA, OWEN PARKER, TOM RUESS, LAUREN SAYERS, RUI

Considering the type of business he’s in, Kirill says it should come as no surprise that he’s also an adrenaline junkie. When he’s not at school or working, he spends his time on ski trips or anything that will get his heart racing.

SHI, AMY SKODAK, OREN WIESFELD

“There’s this place called the London Aquatics Centre and

JIMMY HUYNH, KSENIA KOLODKA, ELLIS KOIFMAN, AARON MALLETT, AMAL MATAN, REBECCA MEHARCHAND, AMY

Kirill is the definition of time management, being able to balance a heavy school load, run a business and have a social life, all at the age of 21.

While he spends a lot of his time working hard, he still uses his downtime to motivate himself and continue the learning process.

“With downtime, recently what I started doing was I started watching movies and reading books about very powerful people,” Kirill says. “I really like taking them as an example.”

The third-year mechanical engineering student at Western University currently balances a full-time engineering course load while running his company, A+.

The company focuses on allowing high-school students and young individuals who wish to pursue a career in sales to hit the ground running through door-to-door sales for the home services industry.

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His first priority is his vision; everything else comes second.

Kirill is one of the many goal-oriented entrepreneurs and students at Western who takes dedication to a new level.

In terms of a long term plan, however, he just wants to keep on moving at his own pace.

“It’s funny, I get asked [where I think I will be in five years] all the time, but I really don’t have an answer for you,” Kirill says. “Interview me in five years.”

In the meantime, Kirill learns what he can through the resources that he is offered and through the people that he continues to meet in his day-to-day life.

Above all, he continues to surprise himself with how far his dreams have brought him.

“Five years ago if you were to ask me where I would be, I wouldn’t have any idea I would be where I am now,” he says.

So if you see Kirill in five years, ask him what he’s up to.

You’ll probably get a great answer.

■■JENNY JAY

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Revealing Western’s investments

Column: Many athletes often overlooked

Play adventurous with technology, not content

The Gazette requested a list of Western’s investments. The results might surprise students, with money in arms, tobacco and oil companies.  PG 6

While all eyes were on the latest recruits for the Mustangs’ football team, the media have neglected the many accomplishments of other deserving athletes.  PG 9

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, playing at the Grand Theatre, offers a unique multimedia experience for the audience, but its storyline lacks clarity.  PG 11

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THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016 • 3

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Proxy use questioned at budget meeting RITA RAHMATI NEWS EDITOR @RITAATGAZETTE The University Students’ Council’s budget approval saw questions raised about the use of proxy voters.

There were a total of seven proxies stepping in for the following councillors: Radhika Bassi, Giulia DiGiuseppe, Bassel El-Kadri, Sheila Khalili, Denisele Patron, Mitchell Pratt and Shivani Sharma.

As the meeting prolonged late into the night, Jonathan English, USC secretary-treasurer, questioned the validity of the proxy voters in attendance as new ones were added mid-meeting for social science councillors Khalili and Pratt. Alif Karmali, the speaker of council, overrode English’s concerns and allowed the meeting to continue.

English had concerns that proper procedures were not followed for proxies. USC by-law states that all proxies must be registered 24 hours in advance, however speculation arose that some proxies were not registered in that time frame.

USC By-law 1 5.09 states: “A proxy form must be signed by the member and provided to the

secretary of council at least 24 hours in advance of the beginning of the meeting.”

Karmali allowed proxies that were not registered 24 hours in advance due to the timely nature of the meeting and that the budget needed to be passed. He acknowledged in an interview that by-laws concerning proxies have issues and need to be reformed.

“Proxies as a whole are kind of in a grey area,” Karmali said.

“They’re supposed to be given to the secretary of council, which is a position that doesn’t exist.”

Karmali said proxies are conventionally not restricted to the 24-hour rule. Typically, the proxy form just needs to be given to the speaker anytime before the meeting. English explained that in the past, speakers had been lenient with proxies because it was usually only one proxy.

“It was I think a little disingenuous,” English said. “It was during the topic of The Gazette budget and the people who had publicly written and published a report criticizing the budget of The Gazette were then stepping in to fill the shoes of other social science councillors.”

During the debate, questions about union staff members arose, which is only allowed to be

TAYLOR LASOTA GAZETTE

discussed in-camera. The conversation was not sustained far, so council never entered in-camera discussions. During the meeting, Karmali stated that if council entered in-camera discussions, he would not allow proxies to be present. However, By-law 1 states that proxies have entirely the same powers as regular council members.

On Tuesday, Karmali said he decided not to allow proxies because of the sensitive and confidential information that would have been discussed. He was worried about the safety in having

proxies participate as regular councillors receive training about in-camera meetings.

The ramifications of incorrectly registered proxies are not entirely clear at this time.

“That’s a little up in the air. I’m not entirely sure of the ramifications. Although I think someone could make a good case of nullifying their votes,” English said.

Overall, Karmali does not believe the integrity or validity of the meeting was affected by the proxies.

“I don’t think that comes into question at all,” Karmali said.

General manager steps down after 8 years RITA RAHMATI NEWS EDITOR @RITAATGAZETTE Cathy Clarke, the general manager of the University Students’ Council, will be leaving her position of eight years in September.

As general manager, Clarke has a variety of responsibilities including looking over USC staff and operations, and supporting the executive.

Clarke is leaving by her own choice to allow the USC to have a change.

“It’s an opportune time to look at what the USC needs now as compared to what it needs eight years ago when I came,” Clarke said.

As general manager, Clarke has

been a mentor to student executives and leader.

“She’s been a fantastic mentor for me over the past two years, she’s taught me a lot about the USC,” said Isaac Jacobi, chair of the board of directors.

Prior to her time at Western, Clarke worked in municipal government in Alberta. She moved to London to take care of her aging parents and then found herself working at Western.

Two things she has loved about her job is mentoring students and being creative in her role.

Sophie Helpard, USC president, worked very closely with Clarke as the general manger oversees the corporate side of the USC.

Student leaders, including Helpard and Jacobi, will be involved in hiring the new USC general manger. Helpard and Jacobi said the position will be re-assessed to match new priorities of the USC. “Moving forward we’ll need to assess what is the next chapter for the USC and what are the biggest challenges we’re going to face in the next few years and then hopefully find an individual who can see us through that,” Helpard said.

Clarke will be involved in helping the USC transition to the new general manager. She explained that since she first took on the role, the USC has changed a great deal — there are new governance structures, the board is more objective

and the financial position is more stable.

Currently, they are looking at other universities to see how their governance structure is set-up in regards to the general manager position. Helped noted the USC was financially unstable at the time Clarke was hired and her background in municipal politics was necessary, but this will not necessarily be a focus in the current hiring process.

Clarke looks forward to new challenges in her next job, although she hasn’t decided exactly what it will be.

“It’s been great, I have absolutely no complaints,” Clarke said. “It’s great that I’ve got some time to transition this place to the next step.” ■

Signature study room coming to Social Science Centre IAIN BOEKHOFF EDITOR-IN-CHIEF @IAINATGAZETTE A million dollar renovation is coming to the Social Science Centre to give students some much-needed space to study.

The renovation, in the works since last summer, are to room 1051, which is currently allocated to the geography department but has been out of use for a few years.

The proposal will see the room converted into a dedicated study space with tables hooked up to electricity, soft chairs by the windows, meeting rooms that students can book and new offices for the student council.

The proposed renovation came from a partnership between the new dean of social science, Robert Andersen, and the president of the Social Science Students’ Council, Brandon Palin. The project will be funded by $200,000 from the student donation fund, which the SSSC

oversees, donations from alumni and allocations from Western’s central administration.

The project was initiated by student leaders, who have fielded complaints about the lack of study space, particularly during exams.

“There’s a problem on campus of study space, especially in social science,” Palin said. “You’ll see people working everywhere, there are no proper outlets... so a big focus for me in my term is to try and benefit students and do something with the money.”

“I would say this is an investment for which the return is going to be enjoyed by students for many years to come,” said Rebecca Amoah, incoming social science president, who added this came from an expressed need from students.

Andersen envisions the space as a “centrepiece” for students to study in and hold group meetings.

“The goal is to have a reading

room ... I want this to be a place where you can actually get some work done,” Andersen said.

While there are still many details to be worked out, Andersen hopes the renovation will be completed this summer.

“This is going to be something that students can benefit from as long as the building’s there,” Palin said. “We want to make sure that it’s built properly and that the furniture makes it so that students want to go there and that it’s conducive to working.”

Palin noted the new dean has listened more to students and how they want to use the student donation fund, which sees approximately $300,000 each year.

“It’s super exciting and this is probably the most important thing I wanted to accomplish this year,” Palin said. “To see it actually come to fruition is incredible.” ■

“Council still sat, proxies were for the most part dealt with appropriately — especially going by convention.”

English explained some ways to reform the use of proxies. He said demerit points could be allocated for proxies or proxies could be forbidden during certain instances.

English did note that under the Corporations Act, there must be some form of proxies.

As a whole, English does not like the use of proxies.

“I hate proxies,” he said. “I hate them to the core.” ■

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4 • THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016

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Henein inspires packed law school audience

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“I could never, as much as I wished, be warm and fuzzy,” said Marie Henein at Western Law today. “It just ain’t the way I’m made.”

An overflowing crowd packed a lecture hall to listen to to the high-profile Canadian criminal lawyer speak about the practice of law. Excess spectators watched a livestream video in an adjacent room while Henein launched into a speech about issues spanning media representation, women in law and Canada’s future outlook for aspiring lawyers.

To start, the famous barrister wasn’t shy about her golden rule: Always mean what you say and be prepared to walk away.

“The minute you are desperate for something to settle, your opponent knows and you have lost,” said Henein.

Her philosophy has served her well. Henein’s expansive experience stretches over a wide range of regulatory and criminal litigation representing individual, corporate and institutional clients at all levels of the Canadian courts. While she’s worked high profile cases before, Henein gained national celebrity as the defence lawyer for former CBC radio host Jian Ghomeshi in his ongoing sexual assault trail.

Although Henein couldn’t speak about the Ghomeshi case, she did touch on the changing media climate that young lawyers are walking into.

KYLE PORTER GAZETTE

“Information, now, is not curated, the source is not verified and sound bites devoid of context often rule the day,” Henein said. “The popular discussion that occurs is a discussion that is reactionary and sadly uninformed, even about the most basic principles of law.”

Henein said it’s easy for a society to extend rights to the virtuous but the challenge of democracy is to extend those same rights to everyone whether it makes one feel comfortable or not.

“No justice system should ever be immune to scrutiny or constructive criticism but … it is the belief that we will not convict the innocent, that the state must always be put to the strictest truth,” she said.

Additionally, throughout her speech and the following Q&A

period, Henein talked about the underrepresentation of women in law, highlighting that around the 10-year mark, women will leave the profession in droves. She said it’s at that point in their careers that female lawyers will face limitations making further strives in developing their reputations, meeting clients and developing a book of business.

“Do not get daunted by that,” Henein said. “It is important for women to be visible. It is important for women to be seen doing our jobs because otherwise nobody else coming along is going to stay.

“Stay because I need someone to have coffee and lunch with,” she joked.

Toward the end of the lecture, Henien stated one of the most insidious ways to erode the

democracy is to undermine its justice system and those who practice law. She said the greater the attack on the role of the defence lawyer and the angry cynicism with which it is approached, the more tenuous the state of democracy and the greater the state’s control.

Lastly, Henein said if she could attribute her success to anything, it’s that she genuinely and deeply believes in the value and practice of law.

“If you have a shot, even if it’s a long shot, you are being heard,” Henein said. “When we begin to look inward at our system, as we should, we cannot help but look outward at other systems and remember why we are here and who we are.” ■

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Report calls for more transparent grad funding MAAILAH BLACKWOOD GAZETTE STAFF @NEWSATGAZETTE A report from Western University calls for improved documentation and communication between graduate students and the faculty.

The report was written by the graduate funding sub-committee of the provost’s task force on the University budget model.

“This report achieved its goal of documenting the faculty-specific approaches to graduate student support [and] issues that graduate students, faculty and staff raised as areas around which they would like to see more clarity and future attention,” Karen Campbell, sub-committee member and special advisor

to the provost, said in an email.

Campbell also noted this further improves the faculty’s ability to ensure sustainability of graduate students.

According to Linda Miller, vice-provost for the School of Graduate and Postdoctoral Studies, the findings of the report are not a surprise considering questions about funding from students, faculty and program staff are often directed to the department.

“The report recommendations provide specific direction for additional written documentation of faculty-specific funding models,” said Campbell. “We also suggest mechanisms for improved communication of these models to graduate

students, faculty and staff.”

The next steps include various meetings and discussions in order to have these recommendations implemented by September 2016.

It starts with the graduate education council comprised of graduate students, graduate deans, graduate chairs, graduate assistants, who will meet in April. This will be followed by a meeting in May 2016 with deans and other academic leaders.

“Once this has been done, we will be able to identify structural ways to adapt the models to ensure ongoing graduate student support levels that are adequate, even if funding sources change,” Campbell said. ■

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THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016 • 5

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Figuring out how the human brain works MAAILAH BLACKWOOD GAZETTE STAFF @NEWSGAZETTE Picture the robot dance. Yes, the one where people stiffly move their arms around imitating the movements of a robot. When we think of robotic movements, it is often paired with a lack of restricted movement and dexterity.

This is because scientists have yet to build robots that are able to move as well as humans because we have not been able to understand how the human brain is able to control the hand or the body.

That is where Jörn Diedrichsen comes in. He is the new research chair in motor control and computational neuroscience at Western’s Brain and Mind Institute.

“I’m leading a lab that looks at how people learn movements and how this is represented in the human brain,” Diedrichsen said.

Diedrichsen’s research encompasses using robotics to understand how the human brain navigates movements of the hand and manipulates objects, such as playing piano.

“We use robotic devices to study human movements, we let people hold onto a robotic device [and] that is a way for us to manipulate human movements,” said Diedrichsen, “but mostly we’re interested in how the human brain does it.”

The neuroscience community is interested in how the brain navigates movement and how robotics can take those results and implement them: a signifier of how close these two fields have been growing together in the last few years.

“We as neuroscientists can look at what robotics are doing and what works in robotics to get inspiration and try to understand how the brain does it,” said Diedrichsen. “We take inspiration from control theory, for

TAYLOR LASOTA GAZETTE

example, to understand how the brain solves these problems.”

Originally, Diedrichsen wanted to study physics after high school.

However, while working in a psychiatric hospital during his German military service, he came to realize all the things that could go wrong with the brain and decided his time was better spent researching this.

“Things can go amazingly wrong with the brain and this can be a very interesting and complex place to study” Diedrichsen said. My time

was better spent trying to understand the human brain than try to understand some particle psychics, somewhere out in the universe.”

Diedrichsen joins Western from University College London. To him, there’s no doubt that Western ranks as the best amongst human neuroscience programs.

“In imaging, we are clearly number one,” Diedrichsen says. “McGill might have different opinions about this, [but Western] is either the strongest group in Canada

or one of the strongest groups in Canada.”

He cites the amazing functional imaging facilities, the great team of physicists and human neuroscientist in fields other than motor control as reasons he decided to continue his research at Western.

He also noted two colleagues who work in motor control and use animal models like him, so they will be able to conduct parallel experiments.

Additionally, according to

Diedrichsen, Western’s Brain and Mind Institute is an internationally recognized centre due to the top notch facilities and the high profile researchers now working here.

“The lab is now working on an app called Dextrickery, where users can learn how tricky motor coordination can be and the difficulties of motor learning,” said Diedrichsen.

“It’s kind of like dance dance revolution for the hand, it’s a fun thing to do.” ■

Western apologizes for sexual abuse by former psychiatrist HAMZA TARIQ BREAKING NEWS EDITOR KATIE LEAR NEWS EDITOR @NEWSATGAZETTE Western has issued an apology for the role the University may have played in the abuse of former female students by a psychiatrist working at Western’s Student Health Services between 1985-94.

Dr. Stanley Dobrowolski, a London-based psychiatrist, is currently serving a four-year sentence for sexual assault and voyeurism in his private practice after 1995.

However, during his term at WSHS, concerns were brought forward regarding his inappropriate interactions with female students.

“Western’s senior administration and I know that an apology cannot undo what happened to young women who trusted a psychiatrist working in Western’s Student Health Services who, in turn, violated that trust,” said Western President Amit Chakma, in a public statement on the president’s website.

“We do hope they can take some comfort knowing Western recognizes the harm that was caused and that the University is committed to ensuring the safety of our campus community, and, in particular, our students.”

The apology comes after a

lawsuit filed against Western by one of the former students, referred to as Jane Doe. According to her lawyer, Karen Bellehumeur, the plaintiff appreciated the spirit of the apology.

“We thought it was a great first step in dealing with the accountability of the University,” Bellehumeur said. “Our client was very pleased with that response by the University and we really applaud that apology.”

Bellehumeur said the lawsuit is in its early stages, as a statement of defence has not yet been filed.

Janice Deakin, Western’s provost and vice-president academic, added that Dobrowolski abused his position of power and violated the trust of female students working with him.

“We view the safety of our students as paramount and want to publicly acknowledge that what happened to these young women was wrong,” she said.

Western is currently aware of three former female students who were assaulted by Dobrowolski.

“We’ve apologized because we think it’s the right thing to do,” Deakin said. “The appropriate time for this apology would’ve been 20-30 years ago when these events took place, but in the absence of that the best time to apologize is now.” ■

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6 • THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016

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How Western invests in arms, tobacco and oil companies Western doesn’t choose what stocks it owns. This is how it works, starting from Western’s total market value of its equities down to the individual companies it has a stake in.

•

Western’s invest IAIN BOEKHOFF & HAMZA TARIQ @NEWSATGAZETTE

Western has hundreds of millions of dollars in investments, but where does it all go? That was the question we asked and now have a (partial) answer to.

Western has a diverse array of investments, from equities to bonds to real estate, spread over many portfolios. Equity investments, which account for 65.8 per cent of its total operating and endowment portfolio, are managed by third party investment companies and Western does not have direct control over these

investments. They are done mainly through indexes, with many companies being invested in at the same time.

The investments Western has are in line with what other universities do and what investment experts advise for best returns.

These investments change regularly, meaning the University may not currently have money in the list of companies we were provided on March 11.

We have identified just a handful of the hundreds of companies that Western has indirectly invested in and are presenting them here because these same companies

$670,499,731.58 Market value of Western’s equities as of September 30, 2015.

Equities RBC Wealth Management defines equities as pieces of a company, also known as "stocks." When you buy stocks or shares of a company, you're basically purchasing an ownership interest in that company. A company's stockholders or shareholders all have equity in the company, or own a fractional portion of the whole company.

Canadian: $198,719,189.23

Market cap

Market capitalization is the tot a company's outstanding share calculated by multiplying a com the current market price of one community uses this figure to d opposed to sales or total asset

Private: $44,055,721.43

United States: International: $213,578,772.05 $214,146,048.87

Managed by

State Street Global Advisors

J.P. Morgan

Managed by

Franklin Templeton Institutional

MFS Investment Management

Matches S&P 500 index and S&P 400 Mid Cap index closely

Manages large cap U.S. equities

Manages international equities with a bottom-up value process

Manages international equities with a bottom-up “growth-at-areasonable price” (GARP) process

Weapons •Raytheon •General Dynamics •Textron

Weapons •Lockheed Martin •Boeing Co •Raytheon •Northrop Grumman

Weapons •BAE Systems

Tobacco •Japan Tobacco

Tobacco •Reynolds American •Altria Group

Tobacco •Philip Morris International

Oil •Kunlun Energy •Royal Dutch Shell

Oil •Inpex Corporation •Eni S.p.A. •Suncor Energy

Oil •Exxon Mobil •Chevron Corporation

Sources: List of companies provided via email to The Gazette Western University, Board of Governors meeting documents Western University, Financial Services University of Toronto, Office of the President University of Toronto, Financial Services University of British Columbia, Investment Management Trust Inc. S&P U.S. Indices Methodology RBC Wealth Management J.P. Morgan Asset Management Investopedia For a full list of sources visit the online version of this story.

JENNIFER FELDMAN GAZETTE

Western’s U.S. equities Western’s U.S. equities are managed by State Street Global Advisors and J.P. Morgan Asset Management. The SSGA manages large cap U.S. equities and tries to match the S&P 500 index. It also manages U.S. mid cap equities and tries to match the S&P mid cap 400.

International Equities Western’s international equities are managed by Franklin Templeton Institutional and MFS Investment management.

Templeton manages international equities with a bottom-up value process. MFS manages international equities with a bottom-up “growth-at-a-reasonable price” (GARP) process.

S&P 500: Unadjusted company $5.3 billion or more.

S&P MidCap 400: Unadjusted of US $1.4 billion to US $5.9 b

Equity invest account for 65 Western’s to and endowm are managed investment co Western do direct contro invest

Tobacco companies

Weapons manu

Japan Tobacco Japan Tobacco is one of the biggest tobacco companies in the world. It owns a large number of cigarettes brands including the business of Natural American Spirit and Winston outside the United States.

Textron Textron is an American multi-indu the use of its cluster bombs by S displaced civilians.

Philip Morris International Phillip Morris is one of largest international tobacco companies and own six of the world’s top 15 cigarette brands. The company’s top brands include Marlboro, Longbeach and Bond Street.

Altria Group Altra Group is American multinational which is one of the biggest cigarette and tobacco corporations in the world. It owns cigarette manufacturing companies like Philip Morrison USA, John Middleton and NuMark.

Reynolds American Reynolds American is the second largest tobacco company in the U.S. Its subsidiaries produce cigarette brands including Newport, Pall Mall and and Capri.

Lockheed Martin Lockheed Martin is one of the wo aircrafts including the F-16, F-22 a involved with surveillance and inf

Raytheon Raytheon is an American defense sales. Among other products, it a employed in Iraq, Afghanistan, Sy

BAE Systems BAE Systems is a British defence defence contractors. The compan arms ammunition and artillery sy countries.

• www.westerngazette.ca

THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016 • 7

know

tments: A primer and category of companies have raised concerns on other campuses. York University, for example, divested from some arms manufacturers this past year that Western has money in. The University of Toronto joined 23 other North American universities in divesting from tobacco in 2007, leading Canadian universities in that policy change. In response to petitions, Dalhousie University and the University of Toronto have both created reports on the viability of divesting from oil in the past two years as calls for oil divestment have swept across Canadian campuses.

Ethical investments are a tricky business

pitalization

tal dollar market value of all of es. Market capitalization is mpany's shares outstanding by e share. The investment determine a company's size, as t figures. (Source: Investopedia)

and there are arguments on both sides. On the one side, there is outrage at universities indirectly supporting “unethical” companies or industries. On the other side, experts have argued that ethical investing is both not possible and not viable even if you tried.

So what do you think? Should Western have a defined policy regarding its investments and any ethical responsibility the University might have? Or should we let the experts get the best possible returns no matter the possible ethical qualms Western community members might have? n

Index fund An index fund is a type of mutual fund with a portfolio constructed to match or track the components of a market index, such as the Standard & Poor's 500 Index (S&P 500).

An index mutual fund is said to provide broad market exposure, low operating expenses and low portfolio turnover.

(Source: Investopedia).

ny market capitalization of US

d company market capitalization billion.

tments, which 5.8 per cent of otal operating ment portfolio, d by third party ompanies and oes not have ol over these tments.

20

Calendar Year Returns (Gross of Fees)

15 10 5 0 -5 -10 -15 -20

Classifications and market value of Western’s operating and endowed portfolio assets Market Value ($)

Asset Mix

670,499,731.58

65.8%

Core Fixed Income

162,369,285.54

15.9%

Commercial Mortgages

50,431,527.00

4.9%

Total Fixed Income

212,800,812.54

20.9%

Real Estate

32,457,296.68

3.2%

Infrastructure

61,609,760.26

6.0%

Total Real Assets

94,067,056.94

9.2%

16,082,207.10

1.6%

Market Neutral Strategies

26,170,053.60

2.6%

Total Diversifiers

42,252,260.70

4.1%

Total Equities Fixed Income

Real Assets The Standard & Poor's 500 is an index of 500 stocks chosen for market size, liquidity and industry grouping, among other factors. The S&P 500 is designed to be a leading indicator of U.S. equities and is employed by other Canadian universities as well.

S&P 400 MidCap index serves as a barometer for the U.S. mid-cap equities sector and is the most widely followed mid-cap index in existence. Stocks in this index represent household names from all major industries including energy, technology, healthcare, financial and manufacturing.

Source: Investopedia

Diversifiers Cash Absolute Return Strategies,

$1,019,619,861.76 J.P. Morgan Asset Management manages large cap U.S. equities for Western. Large Cap Core 130/30 aims to deliver long-term returns that exceed the S&P 500 Index. According to the National Post, “the fund devotes 1.3 times the capital to the stocks the manager likes and 0.3 times the capital to the stocks the manager doesn't like.”

ufacturers

ustry company. Textron has come under fire recently for Saudi forces in Yemen in airstrikes that killed, injured and

orld’s largest defense contractors and has built fighter and and F-35. It works for a number of U.S. agencies formation gathering including the CIA, FBI, IRS and NSA.

e contractor and drives most of its business from arms also produces the Tomahawk missiles which have been yria and Libya wars.

e and security company and one of the world’s largest ny and its subsidiaries develop combat vehicles, small ystems among other products for a host of different

Oil companies ExxonMobil ExxonMobil is an American oil and gas corporation. It is the largest international publicly traded oil and gas company in the world and is included in the “Big Oil” group of major oil producers. ExxonMobil has been accused of active global warming denial and spending millions to discredit climate science.

Kunlun Energy Kunlun Energy is an international energy company headquartered in Hong Kong. It is controlled by the China National Petroleum Corporation which is the state-owned Chinese oil and gas company.

The combined market value of the assets in the operating and endowment portfolio held by Western as of September 30, 2015.

Want to know more about Western's investments?

Head online to our website and under the news dropdown menu, choose "public records." There you will find a detailed list of all the companies Western is invested in, as provided to us on March 11. Anyone in the Western community can ask for a list of the companies Western's investments, so if you want more up-to-date information than we have, email vice-president operations and resources Gitta Kulczycki at gitta@uwo.ca to request your very own copy.

www.westerngazette.ca

8 • THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016

knowsports

•

Mind over muscle Why sports psychology shouldn’t be overlooked HALA GHONAIM SPORTS EDITOR @HALAATGAZETTE Say you went to the gym two times a day, seven times a week; you’re still not guaranteed to make the cut in sports because it takes a lot more than just physical effort.

The pressure of performing, balancing studies and simply growing up can take a mental toll on students.

“You can be the most technically sound physical athlete, but on game day if you don’t think right, it doesn’t matter how strong you are,” says Natascha Wesch, the 22-year head coach of the women’s rugby team, who retired from coaching on Tuesday.

Wesch has devoted her entire life to perfecting her private practice as a sports psychology consultant. She is also a health sciences professor at Western.

Upon completing her undergrad in Montreal, Wesch came to Western to complete two master’s degrees, a PhD and a post-doc all on subjects under the umbrella of sport psychology.

But she is also an accomplished athlete and coach at the national level. Wesch has competed nationally in gymnastics, ringette and rugby from 1992-2003. After retiring, she began coaching in 2004 and started her private practice as a sports psychology consultant in 2008 while continuing coaching.

Wesch’s extensive career has allowed her to put herself in the athlete’s shoes when helping them overcome struggles.

“It helps me understand what the athlete is going through because I have been there,” she said. “Maybe not in their sport but I’ve been there. I’ve been there as a coach. I’ve been there as an administrator. I have a pretty good understanding of what’s going on.”

There are many external pressures affecting athletes who are involved in sports from parents, coaches and teammates. Wesch believes her position creates an optional safe space for athletes

to open up about these pressures without jeopardizing their athletic titles.

One of the greatest misconceptions about sport psychology consulting is that athletes believe there needs to be something physically wrong in order to reach out for help. However, good mental health is important for a successful performance.

“If you are a student athlete, you are different,” she said. “You have demands that are very different than the average population....

It’s normal to feel these types of things and it doesn’t make you weak if you’re having a tough day.

You don’t always have to be the tough person or the person who handles everything.”

Wesch said performance anxiety is the number one problem affecting student athletes at Western and balancing athletics with academics is the second leading problem.

Through Wesch’s expertise, she has also found that Western students struggle to accept life after sport, as it’s often difficult to face the idea that their athletic career is not the pinnacle of their lives. Wesch helps athletes take advantage of the characteristics that have successfully aided them in their athletic career and then implement them into life after university.

Although the reoccurring topic of performance anxiety hasn’t changed throughout the years, Wesch’s counselling techniques have. Wesch went back to school to complete a counselling master’s degree in order to appropriately battle the underlying mental health issues that come with sports.

“I think athletes, coaches [and] parents have a hard time differentiating between those things,” she said. “We’re not meant as human beings to go through life on our own. I think in Westernized culture and even in sport, there is this underlying expectation that athletes need to be tough all the time.”

TAYLOR LASOTA GAZETTE Natascha Wesch, sports psychologist and former wopmen’s rugby coach, say more needs to be done to advocate for a sports psychologist role under Mustang Athletics.

Although her gracious efforts help the Western community, Wesch’s work isn’t recognized as an affiliate under Western. She doesn’t get paid through Western, but uses it as a grounds to reach out to students through her own private practice.

“We’re not meant as human beings to go through life on our own. I think in Westernized culture and even in sport there is this underlying expectation that athletes need to be tough all the time.”

NATASHA WESCH SPORTS PSYCHOLOGIST & 22-YEAR WOMEN’S RUGBY COACH

There is currently no fulltime sports psychologist hired by Western, something that Wesch questions. In fact, until she realized the need for it in 2008, there wasn’t even a psychology consultant available to student-athletes.

Although Wesch recognizes the funding may not be available, she believes someone needs to stand up and advocate for the role. One issue is sport psychology consulting is often overlooked by

the similar position of a strength and conditioning coach; however, physical strength is not enough.

“Sport psychology is misunderstood,” she said. “People view it as if you’re only weak. It’s not. It’s developing skills.... If you knew how to set goals and manage your anxiety and how to focus on the things you can control — if you can do all those things, you’re much better in facing situations in sport.”

Volker Nolte, assistant professor of kinesiology and head coach of the rowing team, works with the national rowing team where many sport psychology consultants work intensely with athletes. Although he recognizes the importance of mental health positions, he understands the funding situation at Western.

“In a theoretical point of view, it would be very good if we had something like this,” he said.

“However, we have 800 varsity athletes.... To be realistic this almost can’t work with the number of people we have in our programs and the level of competitiveness we have here.”

Despite funding issues, Wesch hopes for a bright and positive future for the growing phenomenon of sports consulting because athletes need it. Up to four Western athletes visit Wesch

for free weekly orientation sessions. Many of them have a good enough chat that they figure out the solutions to their problems, but that’s only concluded through Wesch’s efforts.

Jack Sheffar, a second-year track and field varsity athlete who struggled with physical issues and performance anxiety last year, spoke to a friend who is studying sport psychology and helped him overcome many challenges.

“It’s important to see someone who has a background in sports and the sports psych aspect of it,” Sheffar said. “You could be doing everything right and you could be training well and you could be fit and you could be running great workouts but then you can get in a race and not run well. You need to lock down the mental aspect as well.”

Despite being unemployed by the University, Wesch refers students to other outlets funded by the University such as Student Health Services and the Student Development Centre to get affordable help. At the end of the day, Wesch helping students with their personal mental health issues is the dominating factor.

“It’s really about helping the athlete be the best that they can be in a psychology perspective,” she said. n

KYLE PORTER GAZETTE

COURTESY OF CIS

Rowing coach Volker Nolte says it’s unrealisting to have a full-time sports psychologist, though it would be ideal.

The women’s rugby ream, pictures above in 2015, is just one of 46 varsity teams at Western.

Yet, there isn’t even one full-time sports psychologist under Western Athletics.

• www.westerngazette.ca

THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016 • 9

KNIGHTlife

SAMAH ALI ARTS & LIFE EDITOR @SAMAHATGAZETTE

As seasons change and classes graduate, a new class is born.

Meet the next generation at Ahead of the Class: fifth-year criminology student Jason Clarke, secondyear King’s business student Bray Andrews and third-year criminology student Aaron Nelson.

Carrying the torch from the last class, the three men watch the throne with their managerial roles.

It’s a steady gig with their Thursday to Saturday programming, some weeks being heavier than others, but the three managers agree that it’s one of the best student jobs offered in London.

They’re just taking advantage of their situation while having fun with friends and throwing great parties. And with AotC’s familylike environment, their charm and dedication explains the continuing success of the company after the owners have moved on.

HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED WITH AOTC? Clarke: I pretty much was just out on a Thursday night and I met Rami [Mustafa], Phil [Kwan], Shok [Joraboyev], Emeka [Agu], those guys that started it all. They just approached me randomly and it took off from there. I started promoting with them and I’ve been doing it since.

Nelson: I met a guy who used to work for AotC, T.J. Williams, and he was a good friend of mine and he introduced me to the company. He knew the guys and once he put me on I just joined in.

Andrews: I’m a rookie, I came last year – I knew Aaron [Nelson] and I

transferred from Brock to here for AotC really. Aaron introduced me to the guys the previous year and we talked about how they were graduating and they needed people to replace the positions and I said I was interested and they accepted it and here we are.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO AS MANAGERS? Clarke: For me, my role is guest list and operations manager. On a night-to-night basis I handle all of the incoming guest lists. We have our promoters who have their parties that want to come out and they’ll send their guest lists to me and I’m basically the guy outside with the clipboard making sure everything is good. I also meet with bar managers as well, collect money to pay promoters, DJs, photographers, coordinate with other promo teams to host events and then manage spreadsheets with the financial breakdown of the company.

Nelson: I’m the promotions and recruitment manager, so I’m basically in charge of adding new people to the team: new promoters, models, photographers, DJs. I’m also kind of like the PR guy. I tell them what’s going on and explain to them what we’re doing on what nights.

Any questions and concerns, they have come to me.

Andrews: I do operations, inside and outside the club. Inside the club I handle the DJs and what goes on inside the club. Outside I do financials; I help these guys out with promoters or anything that needs to be handled, social media as well.

DOES ANYTHING YOU GUYS DO MATCH UP WITH WHAT YOU DO AT SCHOOL?

insight

COURTESY OF MATTHEW TORRADO

Andrews: Not yet, hopefully it will!

I want to go to Ivey so hopefully after when that starts, operations will carry over to that.

Clarke: Definitely not for me, but it is a very organized system behind the scenes. So there is a lot of fooling around with Excel spreadsheets and stuff, which is just good life skills, I think. [It] doesn’t really correlate to my program specifically but the way we’ve set it up is definitely good.

HOW DOES RECRUITING HAPPEN? Nelson: I look for kids that are essentially popular and a lot of people know who they are – kids like that are usually good at getting people to come out because they know a lot of people who go out.

When they make a post, a status on Facebook or something, since they have so many friends and such a big following, those tend to be the people who are the most successful at promoting.

Clarke: Sometimes people will approach us on the nights of and want to get involved anyways. They do have the opportunity to contact the page and after that there’s an evaluation process that everyone goes through once they start out.

It’s not purely recruitment but there are definitely criteria that need to be met to permanently be a part of the team.

DO YOU SEE AOTC AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BRANCH OUT INTO WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO DO IN THE WORLD?

Nelson: Absolutely! AotC was just a promo company in London that kind of gave us a jump start to take off and accelerate to what we want to do in the future, which is more along the lines of entertainment and music.

Andrews: It’s great life skills too.

I’ve met so many people from this job since every night you’re meeting more people, so it’s a good opportunity that way, too.

Clarke: My end goal doesn’t really correlate with music, but it’s definitely been important networking and meeting a bunch of people.

We’re constantly meeting new people week to week so it’s good to just brush up on those skills. n

The ’Stangs are more than just football No Shane No Gain

SHANE ROBERTS SPORTS EDITOR @SHANEATGAZETTE It’s amazing to think about our school having 46 varsity sports teams, but sometimes I worry that many people, media included, think there’s only a select few teams that matter.

On Mar. 3, when the Western Mustangs football team announced their new recruiting class, media was in full swing. The Western Mustangs media, CTV London and the London Free Press were at the press conference giving their full attention to the 25 high school athletes who decided to come to Western next year.

What bothered me the most was the coverage on the Mustangs website included five in-depth videos of the recruits. These kids aren’t even officially Mustangs yet and they’re receiving more coverage than some of our top Mustang athletes from other sports.

Where’s the video coverage for my teammates from the track and field team? Joy Spear-Chief Morris, Kaleigh Hole, Riley Bell and Robin Bone all won Canadian

Interuniversity Sport gold in their respective events this weekend. The London Free Press and the Mustangs website did a short recap story but that was it: no quotes from the athletes themselves.

This lack of quality coverage extends to many other teams as well.

For example, the baseball team and the women’s lacrosse teams both won the Ontario University Athletics championship but did not get much recognition. There was next to no video coverage of either of these teams and no players were interviewed for the Mustangs website and just one by all the London media throughout the season.

I can see the argument for why you may not include top coverage for the squash team. Even though they won their 33rd straight OUA championship, it’s just not a popular sport and you can only cover so much with limited resources.

But track and field, baseball and lacrosse are popular sports and some of the best athletes in the OUA and CIS in these sports are Mustangs, yet they continually receive less quality coverage than football recruits.

This is ridiculous and a major reason why the Mustangs and London media should re-evaluate how they do their coverage. More Mustangs teams need more quality coverage. We have more teams than just the football team. n

Photos by MUSTANG ATHLETICS, GEOFF ROBINS MUNDO SPORT IMAGES, VOIT SPORTS INFO TOP LEFT: Western’s baseball team celebrates their 2015 championship. TOP RIGHT: Joy Spear Chief-Morris competes for gold in last week’s CIS track championships. BOTTOM LEFT: Kaleigh Hole competes in the high jump in last week’s CIS championships. BOTTOM RIGHT: Western’s women’s lacrosse team celebrates their 2015 championship.

www.westerngazette.ca

10 • THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016

insightopinions

•

Don’t give up on London just yet Jenny From The Block

JENNY JAY PHOTO EDITOR @JENNYATGAZETTE As I walk down Richmond Row — somewhere between The Grand Theatre and Molly Bloom’s — I realize I am content with the place that I call home.

As students who enter London solely because of the promise of the “best student experience” that Western has to offer, we often hear how easy it is to get stuck in the “Western Bubble.” We gripe about how London is “sketchy,” or there simply isn’t enough to do. For those who come from big cities, London is small and lacks diversity. For smalltown residents, London seems dirty and dangerous.

I’m not saying that London is perfect, because it’s far from it. In my last three years of living in this city, however, I have begun to realize that we are far too harsh and too quick to judge.

I first realized how much I missed the city last summer, when I spent it away in a small town in England.

While the small town there will always have its quirks, there is a sense of small-town feel in a big city space London offers that I found constantly missing.

Here in London, I am comforted by the fact that baristas Dylan and Wyatt will always remember my name. Mike the security guard at Molly’s will give a nod of acknowledgement when I walk through the door. But I can also wander the streets of the city with a sense of anonymity.

I learned that London, Ont., also fosters a space for art and culture to flourish. As a poet, I was warmly welcomed into the London Poetry Slam community that founds itself on showing love to artists — making London one of few cities that actually has a team that performs at a national level — something that bigger cities like Mississauga aren’t even a part of.

Beyond poetry, there’re also spaces that I have come to appreciate, such as the East Village Arts Collective (EVAC) located at Dundas and Adelaide that fosters a space for art and learning.

For artists, London is the perfect

balance between the big league and local, providing its residents with big name headliners like Ed Sheeran at the Budweiser Gardens, to local musicians who perform at the Rum Runners.

London, however, is even more than that. Some might argue that London is a fairly racist city and while I have experienced racism as a person of colour, I offer an alternative. It might be 2016, but racism and prejudice still exists, not just in London — but everywhere. The Trump campaign and following he has garnered are enough to prove that this is an unfortunate reality.

To me, blaming an entire city on the act of a few ignorant minds is equivalent to blaming an entire race or religion for the actions of an extremist — unfair and inaccurately attributed. In fact, some of the most aware individuals that I have ever met are loud voices in the London community, who offer a space of not just learning, but also discussion.

London, I have realized, has become more than just a home for me — it has become a place that I am allowed to grow as an individual and find my niche. With a nightlife that rivals many major cities, sushi restaurants open until 4 a.m. and events that happen every night of the week, London is more. It is a city that is filled with forests and parks that we often don’t take the time to appreciate, and with architecture both old and new that compliment the makings of a city that is growing.

So until you have visited the murals that paint Dundas St., seen a play at the Grand Theatre, visited a London Poetry Slam, went to a Networking Wednesday meet-up, explored the trails of the Forest City or gone to a Knights game, I implore you to give London, Ont., a second chance.

There is still a disconnect between the City of London and the students of Western University at large, not because the community is not willing to include us, but because we have become so instinctive at pushing the community away — perhaps in fear of the unknown, perhaps in ignorance, but regardless of the reason, it is time it ended.

While I may have spent time traveling from Yukon to England, or living in different cities, I am proud to say that London is now my home — and somewhere between the Campus Hi-Fi Diner and Prince Al’s, I realized that London really isn’t as bad as we make it out to be. n

Western apology not enough RE: WESTERN APOLOGIZES FOR SEXUAL ABUSE BY FORMER PSYCHIATRIST, MARCH 14, 2016 TO THE EDITOR: I am writing this letter in response to the recent apology emailed to students regarding sexual assaults that occurred on campus nearly 20 years ago. While this apology is a nice sentiment, it is not only long overdue, but was also sent for reasons which students may not be aware. Provost Janice Deakin claims the University is apologizing because “it’s the right thing to do,” but since Dr. Stanley Dobrowolski was sentenced almost two years ago, the apology comes unprompted at a seemingly odd time.

However, a story from Brock University recently emerged about a student told to keep quiet about her experience as a victim of sexual violence. A CBC News article quotes Brock University President Jack Lightstone saying: “An incident like this is not a measure of the culture of the campus … [Brock] is a welcoming and supportive environment for students.” The story also calls into question the sexual violence policies of universities across the country. Every university would like its students, parents and faculty to believe its campus is “welcoming and supportive,” hence President Amit Chakma’s proactive apology.

Western’s official policy on sexual assault claims it is “committed

JENNY JAY GAZETTE

Western should evaluate ethical obligations in investing its money

BY GAZETTE EDITORIAL BOARD Should universities invest in companies that are perceived to be unethical? That’s the question asked by students, faculty and staff at campuses across Canada, and the answer is not always one people like.

It might be shocking to some to find out that Western has investments in arms and tobacco manufacturers, and is heavily invested in oil companies, among the hundreds of investments it holds.

In fact, Western’s investments are fairly standard and sound — it uses third party managers who invest in indexes that include the top companies in the world. Some of these companies are viewed by many people as unethical but it should be noted that Western has no direct control in the companies it invests in.

It would be nice to live in a world where arms companies weren’t profitable, where tobacco companies didn’t exist and where we were not as reliant on oil.

But we don’t and the realities of the situation can be hard to accept.

So the question becomes, should we accept that we can’t do anything and that this investment strategy is in the best possible interests of the University?

Yes, our tuition and ancillary fees, and our alumni donations could indirectly be going to companies that manufacture products that kill people, harm the environment and are all around despicable. Being confronted with those facts is tough to swallow.

But we have to realize at some point that the profits they make contribute directly to the operation of this university and the new buildings and renovations we see every year.

to providing and maintaining an environment in which sexual violence is not tolerated,” and says the University is also committed to providing education about and support for sexual violence through the promotion of awareness initiatives. The policy claims the “University will support these initiatives through a dedicated education and awareness web page and existing committees such as the safe campus advisory partners and the women’s safety committee. The University will ensure that these initiatives are broadly communicated to all members of the University community.”

I have been a student at Western for two years and I have never heard of either of those committees. A 2015 report by CBC’s Lori

It’s unfair to single out Western for these investments when every other major university, corporation and even non-profits invest in these same companies and in the same way. While the realities of the world suck, it doesn’t mean we are helpless to change them.

Other universities have taken important stances on both individual companies and industries as a whole. Western should explore the financially viability of divesting from certain companies and sectors, and how they might accomplish this. If the University of Toronto can get out of tobacco, we can too. There should be a dedicated committee to exploring and evaluating Western’s investments from an ethical perspective and not solely from a financial one.

There are also ways to offset Western’s investments in these companies. Employing stronger strategies on campus when it comes to the environment, for example, is one way. Western could also take a more active role in lobbying its fund managers or even individual companies to improve their practices.

While it’s virtually impossible for Western to divest of “unethical” companies, publicly acknowledging this and talking about it is important. We debate in our classrooms about what a better world looks like, what’s ethical and how to change the world for the better in theory. Why don’t we look at ourselves and have those same debates?

We need to realize and accept as a university what it is that we do and what we stand for, and that extends to how our money is invested — even if the reality of the situation might make change seem insignificant or futile. n

Ward states that in 2014, Western reported just two incidences of sexual violence on campus, a number that experts say is worryingly low.

Statistics Canada figures show that one in four North American women will experience sexual violence at some point in their lives and only six in every 100 incidences are reported. So, Western’s sexual violence incidences should be at least 15 times higher than reported.

While the University clearly needs to do a better job of encouraging students to come forward, this can’t be done without acknowledging that a problem exists.

Rather than trying to promote a positive image of the University by simply overlooking any undesirable statistics, the administration would do better to do more than

pay lip service to the very real occurrence of sexual violence on campus. Sending apologies to students about a 20-year-old incident is a great way to detract from a very vague sexual assault policy, but it does nothing for current students and their willingness to come forward and report future incidences.

The reality, while not desirable, is that sexual violence does happen and it happens on university campuses. If Western really wants to “be extraordinary,” the administration should set new standards for universities by acknowledging the problem and encouraging students to come forward to get help and prevent future occurrences.

AINSLEY GONDER GEOGRAPHY AND SOCIOLOGY II

Editorials are decided by a majority of the editorial board and are written by a member of the editorial board but are not necessarily the expressed opinion of each editorial board member. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the USC, The Gazette, its editors or staff. To submit a letter, go to westerngazette.ca and click on “Contact.”

• www.westerngazette.ca

THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2016 • 11

experience

DON’T YOU DARE NAP

FOR THE LOVE OF SAINT PATRICK, DON’T PRETEND TO BE IRISH

SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE

BAILEY’S, NOT BEER

DON’T WEAR GREEN

RITA RAHMATI, NEWS EDITOR Do not nap. No napping. Don’t do it. Just don’t.

Whether you start drinking at 8 a.m. or 2 p.m. do not take a nap this St. Paddy’s Day. If you think a nap between your morning kegger and evening pre will make you feel refreshed then you are completely wrong.

Drunk naps suck the life out of you. It’s like all you can eat sushi — at first it feels good, but by the end you feel like lard and incapable of moving. Nine out of 10 people are incapable of waking up from mid-afternoon drunk naps. This is a fact.

If you nap, you will end up sleeping through the night or wake up and not want to move. You will let down your friends who are ready to go out and finish their St. Paddy’s Day the right way.

You would be better off taking an energy drink or taking a shower — trust me, after a morning of drinking, you probably need one.

JENNY JAY PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Forget cultural appropriation.

Forget all the semantics that blatantly inform you that you are appropriating from another culture that has suffered through colonization. Forget all of the logistics — just please, for the love of everything that is green — don’t pretend to be Irish.

That means chuck out the “Kiss me, I’m Irish” buttons, shirts and hats. Leave the fake accent at the door, and unless you actually have the gift of the gab or you’re from Giants Causeway itself, don’t wish me a Top of the Morning.

If we want to kiss you, we’ll be doing it because you’re cute — not because you’re a fetishization of what it means to be Irish, because there’s no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

So just don’t.

MOSES MONTERROZA ARTS & LIFE EDITOR On a day where 99.99 per cent — and this is in fact accurate data — of the world’s non-Irish population gets horrifically sloshed, it’s important to enter the festivities of St. Patrick’s day with a strategy, a “patty-plan,” if you will.

Because more often than not, amateurs and newly born babies will make the mistake of drinking way too much way too early.

And this is problematic because by 3 p.m., when you’re excreting pitchers and green pancakes, you’ll be so devastatingly hosed that the mere sight of the colour green will... well... turn your face green.

Pace yourself young one and make the day last. Don’t rush the beautiful process of poisoning your liver and damaging your cognitive abilities. Instead, let the apex of your inebriation occur at night, where your busted up face and crossed eyes are less visible.

OLIVIA ZOLLINO PRINT MANAGING EDITOR St. Patrick’s Day has seemingly become synonymous with green beer. While the aesthetic looks cute in your morning Instagram photos, those green stained tongues are not cute around 2 p.m. while you’re passed out in Victoria Park. The solution? Bailey’s in iced capps.

Who really enjoys drinking beer at 9 a.m. in the morning anyways?

After two or three pints, that beer and green food dye is just going to leave you feeling bloated, tired and looking like a dishevelled lizard. No one’s swiping right for that.

Instead, reach for your morning brew and pour in some of that sweet nectar of the Irish gods. The caffeine will keep you alert while the liqueur will give you just enough of a buzz to be able to tolerate those green-clad revellers. And when that one friend posts a 200-photo album online, fear not — you’ll look like you’re simply drinking some Tim Horton’s.

SAMAH ALI ARTS & LIFE EDITOR Not only do I not understand the appeal of St. Patrick’s day, but I genuinely don’t understand the interest in wearing green.

When was green, and I’m talking about stark, shamrock green, ever an attractive colour on anyone? It’s not cute and it definitely doesn’t flatter anyone with a hint of melanin in their skin. Also, why do we feel the need to dye everything green: green pancakes, green beer, green cupcakes, green cookies, anything we consume is dyed to match our retched apparel. St. Patrick didn’t even wear green — he traditionally wore blue and people only wear green today because he praised the shamrock.

So how did we get here? Just wear white instead, maybe some splashes of olive or juniper because those are tolerable greens.

Twenty thousand leagues too much MOSES MONTERROZA ARTS & LIFE EDITOR @MOSESATGAZETTE GGFFF Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea pushes the envelope with its unique multimedia experience and projection technology.

It’s the only play this year that encourages audience members to be active on their phones during intermissions and to dive deeper into the storyline by watching Nautilus Leaks.

Rather than having a traditional theatre set with tangible props and paintings, the film uses a complex system of projectors to recreate the theatre look in ways that would be physically impossible otherwise.

The stage, like a blank canvas, is adorned with images that rapidly change from wide-open vistas and tumultuous tundras to the inky black depths of the ocean and the steam punk aesthetic of Captain Nemo’s (Richard Clarkin) vessel. Rarely is your attention averted and, for the most part, it’s a pleasing and unique experience.

Aside from the spectacle and the creative usage of puppetry, the re-imagined plot of the original novel shifts the focus to the narrator, Jules Verne.

The fact that his character devolves slowly as the play progresses is a nice touch that extends inherent themes of finding purpose and maintaining one’s humanity.

But while his character adds weight to the plot, it sometimes

detracts from the immersive experience of the performance. This is especially true during the conversation between professor Claire Aronnax (Marie-Eve Perron) and Captain Nemo in his library.

This scene is arguably the first moment where the audience gets a deeper insight into Captain Nemo’s character. Yet, in periodic successions, Nemo’s monologue is interrupted by Jules (Andrew Shaver).

It’s charming in the beginning when Jules interjects the story with his little action figures and life story, but as the play moves into more visually stunning sceneries and aggressive dialogues, you can’t help but want to see more of Nemo, Aronnax and Ned Land (Éric LeBlanc) — and less of Jules.

That being said, it is understandable why Rick Miller and Craig Francis, co-writers, decided to add Jules into the mix. He brings the audience back into modernity and ultimately, to the multimedia aspect of the play.

But with the online web series, the projection technology and Jules interjecting periodically, it almost feels like there are too many elements working together. It would be interesting to see the play without Jules or at the very least, a more subdued Jules. That way, the adventurous and immersive experience of the play can highlighted.

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea will be playing at the Grand Theatre until March 26. n

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CROSSWORD BY EUGENE SHEFFER

MAAILAH BLACKWOOD GAZETTE WESTERN GOES EASTERN. Saranga Sriranganathan, a third-year physiology and pharmacology student, performs an Indian semi-classical dance in the UCC on Tuesday night at the MSF charity talent show.

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