Trending Senior Living 2021 by 2020 Media

TREN Senior Living 2021

Jewish young adults increasingly define themselves as “Jews of no religion.”*

What does this mean to you?

“We need to be the link for the next generation.” – Sarah M., participant *A recent PEW study found that 41% of young Jewish adults describe themselves as “Jews of no religion” – they describe their religion as atheist, agnostic or nothing in particular. You can make a difference in the lives of your grandchildren and in the future of the Jewish people.

Share the wisdom and joy of our tradition with the next generation through Chai Mitzvah's Grandparents and Beyond program. • Fun activities and conversations to engage all ages: 4-18+ • Not just for grandparents, but for any older adults and younger friends. • Activities are designed to work both in person and virtually • For everyone, regardless of background

Be Part of Chai Mitzvah's NATIONAL GRANDPARENTS DAY CHALLENGE! Join in our goal of having 1,000 grandparents sign up for Grandparents and Beyond by National Grandparents Day, Sunday, September 12, 2021. To reach this goal, we are offering Grandparents and Beyond at NO CHARGE to the first 1,000 grandparents who sign up.

contents

TRENDING SENIOR LIVING 2021

PAGE 8

PAGE 14

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Page Turners

Free Stuff

Reading a magazine

A Prayer Answered

a day keeps the

Centenarian

discounts awaits you

doctor away.

Romay Davis visits

— so don’t wait!

A world of freebies &

Jerusalem…without leaving Alabama.

PAGE 20

Fight Back

PAGE 15

‘Cane Fu’ and

They Said What?

Secrets to a long

other self-defense

Whimsical,

techniques to

inspirational and

protect yourself.

even hilarious quotes

PAGE 12

Wedded Bliss and successful marriage from those who’ve lived it.

about growing old.

Move to Ruth’s House Assisted Living and join our Campus of Care

* 1

4 3

LEDGER

PUBLICATIONS JHL CONNECTICUT, LLC Publisher LESLIE IARUSSO Associate Publisher JUDIE JACOBSON Editor in Chief

TOM HICKEY President 20/20 Media EDITORIAL STACEY DRESNER Staff Writer

Scan for more information

Try us with a short-term respite stay

Call Christina Tuohey 413-567-6212, ext.3609 or ctuohey@JGSLifecare.org

1. Ruth’s House Assisted Living 2. Sosin Center for Rehabilitation 3. Leavitt Family Jewish Home 4. Wernick Adult Day Health Care 5. Spectrum Home Health & Hospice Care 6. Genesis House for Independent Living 770-780 Converse St, Longmeadow, MA 01106 • www.JGSLifecare.org

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ADMINISTRATIVE JUDY YUNG Accounting Manager

LEDGER PUBLICATIONS 40 Woodland Street Hartford, Connecticut 06105 860.231.2424 jewishledger.com

REPAIRING THE WORLD

TOGETHER. Perpetuating cherished values. Reaching out to those in need. Building community. Every day, in every way, Federation is your partner in tikkun olam the Jewish commitment to repair the world. Learn more at tinyurl.com/ FederationTogether.

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THE BEST MAGAZINES FOR SENIORS What do magazines and apples have in common? They both keep the doctor away. No kidding. Just ask researchers at the University of Michigan who found that seniors who spent a mere 3.5 hours each week reading lived 2 years longer than those who stayed away from books. And if the prospect of increased longevity isn’t enough to get you flip through the pages of any of many informative magazines, consider these other ways in which reading magazines can enhance your life. Reading… • reduces boredom and gives your brain a good workout; • takes the sting out of stress by transporting you to another world • prevents or delays degenerative diseases from taking root; • teaches you about the ever-changing world around you • improves your vocabulary While the shift in publishing from print to digital has claimed some publications, others remain vibrant while also offering greater flexibility — most print subscriptions now include a parallel online version for reading on your tablet or other mobile device. There are dozens of magazines that inform, inspire, and bring joy to readers of any age. But finding the right magazines for seniors means thinking about publications that tailor their content to match the interests of older adults. Here are just a few of the choices seniors can choose from. The greater challenge may be deciding which one to subscribe to first! AARP THE MAGAZINE Visit: AARP.org

AARP The Magazine features lifestyle topics for anyone over 50, which means it includes information on everything from loving your job to taking that post-retirement, once-in-a-lifetime European vacation. The magazine’s health and wellness columns, as well as movie reviews and other features, are all tailored for older adults.

READER’S DIGEST — LARGE PRINT EDITION Visit: rd.com

Reader’s Digest offers a large-print version that makes it the perfect magazine for seniors. This edition features a largeprint version all of the magazine’s typical

content, including the crossword puzzle, as well as images and illustrations, and even non-glare paper that makes it easier to read.

PREVENTION

Visit: prevention.com It becomes increasingly important for older adults to know which foods can help you stay healthy, which exercises are great, lesser-known side effects of common medications, and more. Prevention takes a holistic approach to wellness that makes it an excellent choice for health-conscious adults.

BIRDS & BLOOMS

Visit: birdsandblooms.com Few things evoke thoughts of a relaxing retirement like Birds & Blooms. Geared towards birdwatchers and gardeners of every age. Birds & Blooms provides a convenient, seasonal resource to enjoy both hobbies, whether it means getting more from a daily nature walk or helping you decide what to plant next in your garden.

GOLF DIGEST

Visit: golfdigest.com Golf Digest is a respected monthly publication that offers ways to improve your score when out on the course and learn more about the personalities of the game’s

leading players. Enjoy a deeper level of access to everything from equipment technology to the secrets of leading swing coaches.

REMINISCE

Visit: reminisce.com Memories of the 1940s to 1970s are the focus of Reminisce magazine. From images of classic cars to the routines of a 1950s beauty salon, Reminisce transports seniors to years gone by and offers a great platform to share memories of their lives with children or grandchildren.

DISCOVER

Visit: discovermagazine.com For those that have memories of everything from early airline travel to grainy images of the moon landing, Discover magazine is a fascinating way to keep current with new frontiers in science and find out what’s next. Monthly issues cover a variety of topics to special issues dedicated to Einstein and medical mysteries.

GOOD OLD DAYS

TRAVEL+LEISURE

Visit: travelandleisure.com Although not a senior-specific travel magazine, Travel+Leisure helps would-be tourists visualize what travel to nearby or far away locations would be like. From the regular tourist haunts to those “off the beaten track” attractions, this magazine covers them all with drool-worthy pictures, as well as practical, detailed information.

TRAVEL 50 & BEYOND

Visit: travel50andbeyond.com This publication addresses the specific needs of the 50 plus traveler, covering national and international vacation hotspots, as well as details on various travel options. So, for those interested in a cruise or tour group, this magazine offers all the practical information you will need for a fun filled, hassle free holiday.

HEALTHY AGING

Visit: healthyaging.net Created for adults nearing 60, this magazine features recipes, travel guides, articles on sports and hobbies for older adults, product

Visit: goodolddaysmagazine.com Like Reminisce magazine, Good Old Days magazine publishes stories, pictures, comics and even classic print advertisements from decades ago. But this interactive publication also accepts reader submissions in the form of pictures and photographs. So, not only can seniors read about the stories of others but they can also tell their own stories

of retirement.

reviews, latest news and technology related content and more. Its goal is to help readers enjoy an active lifestyle and change the classic perception

3RD ACT AGING WITH CONFIDENCE Visit: 3rdactmagazine.com

This publication is all about artful aging. So, in its pages, you will find information on senior lifestyle, wellness, healthy living, traveling for

older adults and more. The cover story is almost always about the exceptional accomplishment of an older adult — and not just celebs.

ACTIVE OVER 50 MAGAZINE Visit: activeover50.com

Each issue of this magazine carries the personal profile of an active older adult over the age of 50, that sends the message that fun begins at 50 or 60, and is endless. Dedicated to helping its readers live a healthy, active life, the magazine offers practical and relevant information to help you to switch to healthy living.

West Hartford, CT 65 Memorial Rd, Ste 530 (844) 248-9998 Westport, CT 55 Post Rd W, Ste 300 (800) 491-8875 www.gyllnsyn.com ww info@gyllnsyn.com

How can you invest with purpose? We believe that people should have the opportunity to align their investments with what matters most to them. What issues, causes, and factors matter to you and your family?

FIGHTING BACK! Seniors take up self-defense training to stay safe

The sad reality is that some people do prey on seniors. A U.S. Department of Justice report noted that between 2003 and 2013, 93 percent of all crimes were against people over age 65. The good news is, age and physical limitations do not have to prevent you from learning how to protect yourself. Whether you study basic self-defense techniques or pursue advanced martial arts training, knowing that you’re capable of defending yourself can be a great confidence booster. And when you feel (and look) confident, you show the world that you are not weak or vulnerable, which can potentially deter would-be aggressors. Besides protecting you, self-defense training brings a host of physical benefits: You can improve your balance, coordination, stamina, strength, and flexibility. Even if you never have to use the techniques you learn, the exercise you get through self-defense training can have a positive impact on your overall health. SAFETY TIPS: HOW TO AVOID BEING TARGETED Prevention should always be your primary objective. After all, the best way to stay safe is to not get into dicey situations in the first place. Did you know that your body language and mannerisms can give off signals that make you more likely to be a target for criminals? To avoid appearing vulnerable, try following these tips: • Be alert and aware of your surroundings. • Stand straight and keep your chin up and your shoulders back. • Walk smoothly and fluidly to convey confidence. • Make brief eye contact with the people around you to demonstrate that you are aware of them. • Don’t talk on your phone or stare at a map while out walking.

• Don’t let a potential attacker distract you. If a stranger asks you for the time, don’t stop and look down at your watch. Instead, keep walking and raise your watch up to your eye level ito keep the person in your line of sight. • Don’t draw attention to yourself. Keep valuables out of sight and carry your purse close to you. BASIC TECHNIQUES TO FEND OFF AN ATTACK Even if you do your best to prevent becoming a target of crime, you still might end up in a dangerous situation. Always remember that self-preservation is the ultimate goal. So, if a thief demands your money or personal property, especially if he or she is wielding a weapon, give it up. If you’re able to do so, keep a safe distance from the thief by tossing your valuables in his or her direction rather than handing them over at close range. Sometimes, a physical confrontation is unavoidable. You typically have just a few seconds to make a move, so you need to be prepared. These tips can help you better pro12

tect yourself if you end up in such a situation: • Make noise. Shout, blow a whistle, or activate a personal alarm. • Use whatever you have on hand. Anything from car keys to canned goods. Throw dirt in the attacker’s eyes if possible. • Pepper spray causes extremely painful burning of the eyes and nose and will temporarily blind your attacker. • Stun guns and firearms can be effective weapons, but you need to be extremely cautious about using one. Learn more about factors to consider, including your state laws. • Aim for the most vulnerable areas. Even a strong attacker has weak areas. Sensitive pressure points include the eyes, nose, neck, groin, and knees. The one you should target depends on how close the attacker is and what position he or she is in relative to you. For instance, if he or she is a leg’s length away from you, you might choose to kick or knee the attacker in the groin.If the assailant is very close, the best move is to jab your fingers, knuckles, or keys into his or her eyes.

MARTIAL ARTS FOR SENIORS OF ALL ABILITY LEVELS Studying martial arts regularly can be an empowering way for seniors to learn how to defend themselves. It can also help boost their stamina, coordination, range of motion, and mental acuity. In addition, students learn respect and self-discipline. There are hundreds of martial arts. The best martial art for seniors is the one that aligns with their capabilities. So before beginning any training regimen, be sure to assess your physical abilities. Here are a few types of defensive martial arts that may be good options for seniors • Tai Chi is often said to be the best martial art for beginners because it involves slow, gentle movements with low impact. Most tai chi for seniors classes focus on health and meditation as opposed to self-defense, but they can show you how to move your body and can act as a good bridge to other disciplines.

• Judo focuses on using an adversary’s strength against him or her. It allows you to disable an opponent by throwing him or her to the ground, then subduing him or her through pins, holds, and locks. You need a certain amount of dexterity for this. • Aikido is ideal for older adults as well as people with disabilities. Aikido is based on turning an attacker’s strength and power against him or her. By redirecting the force of an attack, a less physically equipped adult can overcome a younger and stronger opponent. • Jiu-Jitsu concentrates on manipulation and balance rather than counterforce.

Most of its movements involve throws and joint locks. You will be taught how to dodge attacks and escape from holds. It’s about leverage and technique as opposed to size and strength. • Wing Chun is a form of kung fu that uses open-handed strikes and low kicks. Wing chun can be excellent training for older adults. It’s a low-impact activity that does not involve jumping or acrobatics. • Krav Maga Many people believe that Krav Maga is the best martial art for self-defense. Developed by the Israeli military, Krav Maga is really more of a street combat system than a martial art. You learn to neutralize an assailant quickly using simple, natural movements. Techniques are highly efficient and can be used by people of any age, since they do not rely on strength, speed, or flexibility. CANE FU: A GROWING TREND A discipline known as “cane fu” teaches seniors to fight back against attackers using an ordinary walking stick. Defense experts point out that a cane can be taken anywhere and is always ready for action. Often perceived as a symbol of weakness, a cane can instead be an excellent way to inflict pain and neutralize aggressors.Cane-fighting classes are becoming increasingly available through senior centers, retirement communities, and police departments. Some are offered free of charge. Ask around to see what the options are in your community. WHAT TO CONSIDER BEFORE GETTING A GUN For some older adults, having a gun for self-protection can alleviate anxiety and make them feel like they are in a better 13

position to defend themselves against an aggressor. However, many self-defense experts advise against carrying a gun, as it can easily be used against you in an attack. Also, many seniors have issues like poor eyesight or weak fine motor skills that can make it difficult to operate a gun safely. Some important factors to consider: • Are you willing to fire it? Pulling a gun on a would-be attacker can be enough to scare him or her off, but that isn’t always the case. You have to be willing to take another person’s life, if necessary, in order to keep yourself safe. • Do you understand your state’s gun laws? It’s up to you to find out what licenses or permits are required and when you can legally use your gun for self-defense. • Can you physically handle such a weapon? You need to be able to load the gun, pull the trigger, and handle the recoil. Think about your physical capabilities. • Are you willing to get firearms training? This is the best way to ensure you will be able to handle and shoot a gun properly and safely. BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITIES Self-defense for seniors can take many forms. Whether you choose to take up martial arts, learn cane fu, or take a basic self-defense class, you’ll be better prepared to protect yourself from attacks and escape from aggressors. This is an excerpt of an article that appeared in Great Senior Living (visit greatseniorliving.com).

DREAM ON

At 101, Romy Davis’s dream to visit Jerusalem’s holy sites comes true using cutting-edge VR technology.

By Naama Barak

Romay Davis from Montgomery, Alabama, has always loved to travel. And at the grand age of 101 she can now tick off another place from her destination bucket list, having recently visited Jerusalem’s holiest sites using cutting-edge virtual reality technology. For a little under an hour, Davis was transported to the sights and sounds of the Old City of Jerusalem, courtesy of The Holy City Immersive Experience created by the Tower of David Innovation Lab that allows users to wander through the area’s holiest sites. The Western Wall, Dome of the Rock, Al-Aqsa Mosque and Church of the Holy Sepulcher were all captured using both volumetric scanning and virtual reality filming by an interfaith team of Jewish, Muslim and Christian innovators. 3D video and audio technologies allowed the team to capture real environments in detail, and through exclusive relationships with key local religious figures they were granted access to the holy sites. These sacred sites are presented in an all-access way and are bookmarked by their holiest events: the Orthodox Easter Holy Fire ceremony celebration at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, the Ramadan prayers at Al-Aqsa Mosque and the Priestly Blessing at the Western Wall. Davis is an avid traveler but has never made it to Israel. A community advocate, Davis is a World War II veteran, a former model and fashion designer and an employee at her local grocery store. She earned her black belt in tae kwon do at the age of 70.

Romay Davis ‘visits’ the holy sites of Jerusalem using virtual reality technology. (Photo by Amanda Roy Photography)

Romay Davis’ favorite part of the virtual Jerusalem tour was watching people pray and feeling she could reach out to touch them. (Photo by Amanda Roy Photography)

‘A marvelous experience’ She participated in the virtual tour of Jerusalem through “Wish of a Lifetime” from AARP, which grants wishes to senior citizens in recognition of their special accomplishments and contributions. “It has been a marvelous, marvelous experience,” Davis says of her virtual tour. “It is the capture of reality, that’s what it is. It makes you think you are participating. I enjoyed it like you have never enjoyed anything in your life. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Her favorite part, she says, was the prayers. “I was watching people pray. If you look at it for a long time, you’d think it was real and you can put your hand on the people, on the brick, and touch the artifacts.”

For more information on the Holy City Immersive Experience, visit Tower of David at www.tod.org.il. This article is reprinted from Israel21c.org.

“YOUTH IS THE GIFT OF NATURE, BUT AGE IS A WORK OF ART.” …and other words of wisdom about growing old No doubt you’ve heard the latter-day expression “60 is the new 30” or “70 is the new 40” ...or some other combination thereof. Truth be told, we have no idea what exactly that means. But it seems to suggest that as we get older, we should aspire to be younger. Because younger is better than older. And maybe, in some ways, it is. To be sure, as the Bette Davis put it: “Growing old is not for sissies.”

But Academy Award winning actresses aside, there are many equally famous persons who have eloquently expressed in inspirational and whimsical tones,

the trials and tribulations inherent in one’s golden years. So read on for some heartwarming quotes about what it truly means to grow older.

“I wear my wrinkles like battle

“Never tease an old dog; he might

scars, having earned every last one

have one bite left.”

slaying life’s dragons. They boast of

Robert A. Heinlein

my victories and some defeats while

“Grow old along with me! The best

their beauty is a wealth of wisdom

“The nice thing about getting old

gained.”

is that you can be as eccentric as you

Richelle E. Goodrich

want, everyone expects it!” Nanette L. Avery

is yet to be, the last of life, for which

“Aging is an extraordinary process

the first was made.” Robert Browning “You are never too old to set another

where you become the person you

Old age is like everything else.

always should have been.”

To make a success of it, you’ve

David Bowie

got to start young.” Theodore Roosevelt

goal or to dream a new dream.”

“Youth is the gift of nature, but age is

Les Brown “Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new

a work of art.”

“Nobody grows old merely by

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

stage of opportunity and strength.” Betty Friedan Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’tmatter.” Mark Twain “Why did so many grown-ups want

“In the end, it’s not the years in your

Years may wrinkle the skin,

life that count. It’s the life in your

but to give up enthusiasm

years.”

wrinkles the soul.”

Abraham Lincoln

Samuel Ullman

“It’s not the specter of aging that

“The longer I live, the more

haunts me. Rather, it’s the far greater

beautiful life becomes.”

fear of having aged and having noth-

Frank Lloyd Wright

ing to show for the aging.”

to be young, she wondered, when it

Craig D. Lounsbrough

took so long to grow old? It was like going on a million-mile road trip

“Wrinkles should merely indicate

then wanting to turn around with-

where smiles have been.”

out getting out of the car.”

Mark Twain

Pseudonymous Bosch

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THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE — IF YOU’RE A SENIOR Ah, to be a senior adult!

The golden years are indeed golden for so many reasons and in so many ways. They are a time of life when you appreciate and accept yourself for who you are; a time to sit back and reflect upon your accomplishments, and bathe in the cornucopia of warm memories you have collected over the years. A time when the wisdom and perspective that come with age make you better able to handle life’s curveballs. And oh yes, less we forget, a time to take advantage of the many freebies at discounts offered to senior adults only. That may not be the best part of senior adulthood…but it’s right up there. From retail and grocery to insurance and healthcare, there are all types of senior discounts to claim. Maximize your savings and make the most out of your purchases (large or small) by cashing in on them. Keep in mind that not all businesses advertise their freebies and discounts for older adults. So don’t be shy — ask. And do a little detective work. SO, WHO’S A SENIOR? Good question. Technically speaking, senior adults are cardcarrying members of Medicare. In other words, anyone age 65+. However, if you enroll in an AARP or Association of Mature American Citizens (AMAC), which you’re entitled to do on your 50th birthday, you can start cashing in on senior discounts. For all other discounts, the minimum age requirements vary based on the company or location and can range from 50 to 65 years of age. So, if unsure if you qualify for a senior discount? Don’t hesitate to ask! The following is a “starter” list of just some of the businesses that offer freebies and discounts to seniors. For a more comprehensive list of companies and retail outlets that offer freebies and discounts to seniors, visit theseniorlist.com.

SHOP TILL YOU DROP

While not all retail stores provide a dedicated senior discount, many offer impressive savings

with a store rewards card. And lots of shops offer weekly senior discount days.

look for free stuff at public events and festivals.

THERE ARE FREE RIDES

DRUG STORE DISCOUNTS

Most public transportation systems offer money-saving passes, but some are completely free for seniors. For example, there are free ride programs in Pennsylvania, Miami-Dade County, and Chicago (under certain income levels). Find out if your state is on board.

Many companies offer free prescription drug cards that can save you up big bucks at the pharmacy. As your pharmacy if they participate in this type of program.

FAST FOOD FREEBIES

There may be no such thing as a free lunch for seniors, but there is a free drink with purchase at fast food outlets like Chick Fil A and McDonald’s. Many IHOPs offer a 50% off discount one night a week, which translates to one dinner freebie if you bring a companion.

YOUR FRIEND AT THE IRS

A number of agencies offer tax preparation help or counseling to seniors at no cost, as do some local accountants. The IRS offers free “Tax Counseling for the Elderly” (TCE). TCE provides tax help to individuals who are aged 60. The IRS with some private or nongovernmental public nonprofit agencies or organizations, provides training and technical assistance to elderly individuals to prepare their income tax returns.

THE ART OF THE FREEBIE

Many museums and cultural attractions offer admission that’s free for discounted for seniors. Ask about a senior citizen discount at the box office. Also, 16

FREE CELL PHONES AND DISCOUNTED PLANS

Many cellular providers have programs to make life easier on seniors by offering free cell phone and discounted rates on phone plans. Check out your carrier today.

FREE STUFF FOR YOUR GRANDCHILDREN

When you take your grandchildren with you, there are a lot more opportunities to save – and show the next generation a good time. As a general rule, many discounts that are available for seniors are also available for kids. From museums to public transportation to 2-for-1 specials at restaurants, planning ahead can lead to big savings.

Practices in Care Change … Our Priorities Don’t Safety, comfort, and responsiveness have always been the hallmarks of care and service at both of our facilities. We don’t take anything for granted. Today our experience enables us to sustain the high quality care these ever-changing conditions require. We provide personalized post-acute and transitional care, traditional long-term care, dementia, hospice, and respite care services. Let us tell you more. Family Owned and Operated

652 West Avon Road, Avon 860-673-2521 avonhealthcenter.com

130 Loomis Drive, West Hartford 860-521-8700 westhartfordhealth.com

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Call today to schedule your appointment!

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Board Certified Hearing Instrument Specialist

Hebrew Center for Health and Rehabilitation

THE HEBREW CENTER FOR HEALTH AND REHABILITATION:

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‫כשר‬

CERTIFIED KOSHER

At the Hebrew Center for Health and Rehabilitation, we understand that maintaining your religious beliefs and principles is fundamental in continued enrichment of life.

Our Kosher meal services allow residents to maintain their dietary requirements throughout their stay with us. At the Hebrew Center, we ensure we follow all principles of kashrut including purchase, storage, preparation, and service.

At the Hebrew Center for Health and Rehabilitation, we offer a variety of services and amenities to ensure your stay is as comfortable as possible. SERVICES INCLUDE: • Long-Term Skilled Nursing Care • Passport to Rehabilitation Program • Dementia Care • Respite Care Program • Palliative Care and Hospice Services Coordination

OUR AMENITIES INCLUDE: • Barber/Beauty Shop • Café • Cultural Menus • Laundry and housekeeping services • Patient and Family education

We’re only minutes away - but miles ahead in care! Contact us today to learn more. 1 Abrahms Boulevard West Hartford, CT 06117 860.523.3800 www.HebrewCenterRehab.com

18 11

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60 YEARS AND COUNTING Marriage Advice from the Greatest Generation By Nicky Blackburn

“Grandma and Grandpa, how did you meet?” It’s a classic question that young children often ask their beloved grandparents, And most grandparents relish the opportunity to share their story. But as their grandchildren grow older and become young adults and newlyweds themselves, the question often changes from “How did you meet?” to “How did you manage to make marriage still work after so many years?” After all, who would know better what makes for a long and successful marriage than those who have been blissfully wed for 60+ years – couples who have weathered the bumps, the obstacles, the twists and turns, the joyful times and the moments of sorrow. Recently, Hoffman SummerWood, a senior living community in West Hartford, Connecticut, feted five resident couples who have been married for 60 years or more at a gala anniversary dinner. While they enjoyed their special evening, each of the couples took the opportunity to share the secret — or at least one of the secrets to their success.

1. GO WITH THE FLOW

Saul and Susan Bloostein will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary next month, on September 24. “You have to be flexible. Flexibility is the most important thing,” shared Saul. “You can’t just always have it your way. Now, it’s not that we don’t fight - but the next day, all is forgiven. In other words, you accept each other as you are. You just go with the flow. When she wants me to apologize, I do! Right, Su? Well…I apologize 9 times out of 10. But, well, she’s really a good kid. “It’s a tough road. But we love each other more than we did when we first married. Because you go through 60 years of happiness, sadness…you see it all. The bottom line is, you give a lot and you take a lot, and you try to be as flexible as you possibly can be and you just go with the flow.”

2. HUG, KISS & SNUGGLE

Martin and Elaine Cohen celebrated their 61st wedding anniversary this past May 15. “We met on a blind date,” says Martin Cohen. “A blind date! I went to pick her up, and there she stood at the top of the stairs. I looked up at her and…well, let’s just say I’ve been looking up to her ever since.” Says Elaine: “It’s about loving oneanother, but it’s also about being committed to each other. He tells me once a day that he loves me.” And, adds Marty, “We hug; we kiss; we snuggle. We know the same songs; we treat each other as equals.” In addition, the two share many common interests. Among them: Music, their Jewish faith and, of course, their deep love for their children. Besides that, says Marty, “We complete each other. She finishes all of my...” “Sentences,” retorts Elaine with a smile.

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3. MARRY A FRIEND

“Marry a friend- not just a lover,” councils Stephen Goldrich, who has been married to Phyllis Goldrich for 66 years. “It can be both, but the first is more important in my estimation.” “I’ll agree with that,” Phyllis chimes in. More often than not, if you catch this couple taking a stroll down the hall, you’ll find them joking with one another and sharing lots of laughs. “It’s the most important thing in our relationship,” says Phyllis. “Someone you can rely on; someone you feel comfortable sharing anything with. Marry a friend.”

Clockwise from bottom left: Summerwood couples;Bloosteins wedding; Cohens on a bench; Goldrishes walking

4. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING

Claudette and Nouri Levy, brand new members of the Hoffman SummerWood community, will celebrate their 58th wedding anniversary later this month, on August 25. Claudette advises young couples to “actively listen to one another.” “Have fun together – because it will allow you as a couple more room to deal with difficult issues when you have a good time with each other. And at the same time – really hear each other; the act of listening in a marriage can be magical.” Active listening, explains Claudette, leaves no room for misunderstandings. When you check with your partner to clarify that you have fully understood what it is important to them, and what they are saying. When you repeat back what you have heard, you validate your partner’s feelings.

“It’s a sense of security,” she says. And, when practiced during an argument, active listening “can completely deflate an argument. This way you do not deal in anger, it takes away anger by saying that you are truly listening.”

5. HAVE PATIENCE

“I would say that my most important piece of advice would be to have patience,” says Lester Geller who has been married to Estelle for 73 years (yes, you read it right, 73 years!) “Be compassionate. Put yourself in the place of the other. Recognize that each individual responds differently to stimuli on the basis of their own life experiences. In addition, says Lester, it’s important to have what he refers to as “acceptance.” “By that I mean recognizing that people are different. If you love them, you listen; you empathize and sympathize with them.”

6. SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES

Joan Weinberg says the secret to a long and successful marriage is for the husband and wife to give a certain percentage to the marriage— and it’s not fifty-fifty. She should know. Joan and her husband Leonard will

celebrate 65 years of marriage on April 28, 2022. Sharing responsibility is important, he says, but “you don’t divide the responsibility in half; you give more than half. So that when you each give more than half, you have more than enough together.”

To honor our loved ones With respect to tradition and heritage

ABRAHAM L. GREEN and SON FUNERAL HOME 88 Beach Road, Fairfield, CT 203.255.8993 or 888.256.8993

Our family has served the Jewish community for over 70 years – with compassion, understanding and dignity. Pre-arrangements and pre-paid funeral trusts will ensure complete fulfillment of your wishes. Samuel Green, licensed in Connecticut and Florida Jonathan Green, licensed in Connecticut and New York

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HEBREW FUNERAL ASSOCIATION, INC. est. 1898 and MOLLOY FUNERAL HOME, est. 1909 Serving Greater Hartford for 4 generations Member Connecticut Funeral Directors Association (CFDA), Past-Presidents & Board Members of CFDA

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Duncaster is where I learn. Duncaster is where I play. Duncaster is where I create.

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At Duncaster, our residents live life their way, every day. With a 35-year history as a not-for-profit serving the needs of our residents, Duncaster has a welldeserved reputation as the most valued and lauded senior living address in the greater Hartford region. Enjoy all the comforts of home, plus resort-style dining and amenities, and peace of mind that comes from living in a Life Plan community with a full continuum of services right on campus.

Call (860) 380-5006 or visit Duncaster.org to schedule your FREE consultation.

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