THE MUM GUIDE 2013
BACK TO WORK STYLE by Joanna Gaudoin
REBRAND YOURSELF by Joanna Gaudoin
BETTER NIGHT’S SLEEP by Vicky Warr
21 THINGS TO DO MINDFUL PARENTING by James Darby
Over the last few months I’ve been chatting with a few of my fellow mums - a lot of whom have decided to go back into the ‘workforce’ or start something up on their own. However, the same subjects always arise, especially from women who decided to take more than a year off; what will I do, what am I qualified to do, how will I juggle everything? So, for this edition, we thought we’d have a practical and useful flavour. We look at the concept of rebranding yourself. What skills do you have and how that can transfer to what you want to do. Of course, the fun part of rebranding is also in the packaging. Our contributor Joanna Gaudoin, puts together some great options for beating the morning rush. Part of realizing your dreams is also found in the art of being present or ‘mindful’ in the moment. It’s those 3am wake up calls when you say; ‘This will pass, so I might as well enjoy it.’ But is practicing mindfulness when it comes to parenting really possible? We caught up with James Darby of Embrace Mindfulness who shares his thoughts on this hot topic. Lastly, sleep or lack of it, is the one thing we all suffer from. Vicky Warr from Beez Kneez provides some pointers on making sure everyone has a good night’s rest, which will give you the energy to enjoy our roundup of 21 Things To Do this spring.
Best wishes
COCO Nail Bar Mums Show Live Photography for Parents Swimming Rocks Little Bird Sweet Bambini Ballet 4 Life Diddidance The Beez Kneez The Park Club
BACK TO WORK
STYLE
Minimize the morning rush with these easy work combinations. by Joanna Gaudoin click here
ReBrand Yourself
™
by Joanna Gaudoin Having a baby is an indescribable experience. The joy, the lack of sleep, all the changes to your life are certainly going to reduce the time you have to focus on you. However, as things start to settle into a pattern and you think about returning to work, it’s vital you spend some of your time thinking about you. Whether you’ve been focusing on your family for the last 6 months or 6 years, there’s no doubt returning to work can give a mix of emotions, from daunted to excited. Whether you are returning to your previous role or looking for a new one, take time to consider how to present yourself to make the best of your return to the working world. Here are some tips to help you reflect on who you are, what you want to do and how you want to present yourself professionally. Thinking about these will support your confidence and prepare you well for this change.
SKILLSET
Whether you are returning to your old role or a new one, it’s a good opportunity to reflect on your core skills; what you have to offer. What skills do you have that you had before your maternity leave but didn’t use, or that you have gained since and would now like to use? If you’ve been out of paid work a while, perhaps you’ve done some courses or voluntary work that has added to your skillset. And let’s not forget that managing a family can offer a whole suite of new capabilities in itself.
YOUR BODY
Having a family and less time for exercise may mean your body has changed size and shape since you last had to wear work clothes. Think about what has changed, but focus on the positive, i.e. which parts you feel good about and want to draw attention to.
PRIORITIES
These will certainly have changed. Perhaps pre family, you were often at the office late, flexible to stay and finish that pitch or write that presentation. Even if you can afford a live-in nanny, you’ll want to spend time with your family in the week. Work out how the week needs to look for you in terms of time split. You may want to discuss the support and help your partner and family members can provide. As far as possible, you need to be clear when you can dedicate work time to work, and family time to family, to avoid feelings of guilt and feel satisfied in both parts of your life.
A NEW LOOK
Many women want to ‘rebrand’ when they return to work post family especially if going to the same place of work. Think about how you want to come across. What you wear can help you do that. Try to put aside some money to spend on some new work wear. You don’t have to buy a whole new wardrobe but a few special items that complement things you already have will give you a ‘new you’ feel.
SPRING CLEAN YOUR WARDROBE
Review your wardrobe with your desired new look in mind. Get rid of items that you no longer like, no longer look good in or which simply don’t fit. Psychologically it will help you feel more positive and confident about returning to work and help you identify the gaps to save you time shopping.
Joanna Gaudoin is an image and personal branding expert with a lot of experience helping women know what suits them so they look and feel great. She lives in South West London and works in London and Surrey. Find out more about her company Inside Out and how she can help you know which colour tones, shapes and cuts suit you at insideoutimage.co.uk
FIVE TIPS TO A
Better Night’s Sleep by Vicky Warr Sleep, or lack of it, is the main issue for most mums, and sadly until the kids are teenagers, we’re in for a good run of early mornings and broken sleep patterns. Deprived sleep leaves us feeling groggy with a tendency to forget things and of course be irritable. Getting enough quality sleep means we tend to have a healthier immune system plus feel happier, more productive, mentally alert and have a better memory. Here are some tips to identify behavioural ways to improve sleep to maximize that pillow time…
Switch off the mobile
This may be tricky for you to do if you’re used to surfing the net and reading emails late in the evening. This kind of mental stimulus puts your brain into an active state. Along with worrying about everything you need to do or even watching an intense film also means your brain is in alert mode and not relaxed. Let the emails wait until the morning and turn off the computer and phone. Do a quick ‘mind dump’ and write down everything you need to do rather than keep it in your head. This will ease anxiety and clear your mind.
Minimise Caffeine
Caffeine is a stimulant increasing adrenaline ‘the wake-up hormone’ which increases heart rate, breathing and makes you want to go to the toilet – not what you need for a good night’s sleep! Instead try Chamomile Tea or Spiced Winter Red Tea. Milk is also a good bedtime drink as it contains tryptophan, which the body uses to make serotonin (the happy hormone) and melatonin (the sleep hormone).
Relaxing Aids
Relaxing is sometimes easier said than done. Two great options are: Magnesium Oil Goodnight spray, which contains a combination of magnesium and essential oils to help promote deep, muscle relaxation and promote a peaceful sleep. Just spray it onto arms or chest before you hit the pillow. Another option are Neal’s Yard Remedy essential oils such as Rose Absolute, which helps calm the mind or Vetiver, which grounds and relaxes the mind.
Exercise Wind Down
Take at least half an hour before bed to relax the mind with simple stretches and deep breathing. Lying or sitting calmly, place your hands on your ribs, which cover the lungs. Inhale for five counts from the lungs (rather than the chest) and let them ‘fan out’, rather like putting an umbrella up. Exhale for five counts feeling your lungs deflate and sink – like putting an umbrella down. Repeat this breathing and by listening to soft, chill-out music you can calm the mind.
Researchers say that taking regular exercise can improve the quality of your sleep and give you more energy during the day. The research by Northwestern University in the US showed that the participants who exercised reported that their sleep quality improved vastly. So what are you waiting for? Good night and sleep tight! Vicky Warr is founder of TheBeezKneez, who provide pregnancy and post natal group fitness classes and in home personal training specifically for Mums to be, New Mums and Mums in West London. Vicky is a mum of two and Pregnancy and Post Natal Fitness Specialist for Mothercare and contributes for BBC radio. www.beez-kneez.co.uk
21 THINGS
TO DO
Motherhood is a great time to discover your city or even take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to. We’ve sourced a great range of ideas for you to do with your child, solo or with some friends. WLM is putting ‘u’ back in mum.
Ethical Mums Supper
Are you a new or expecting Mum in Ealing? Join the Ethical Mums Supper Club to meet like minded eco mamas.
Noa Noa Shop for yourself and your little princess at Noa Noa – great time capsule pieces for mum and daughter. noanoa.com
ethicalmums.com
Kite Studios Craft class aren’t just for kids. Enjoy a relaxing pottery or screen printing class in a lovely space. kitestudios.org
Lunch at River Café Treat yourself to the set menu at The River Café…you know you deserve it. rivercafe.co.uk
Cookin’ Curry with Angela Malek Move Pilates Feel fit and strong with a Pilates reformer class at Move. The small sized classes mean you get all the attention. moveclinics.com
Cinema Club at Crown and Anchor Saturday mornings just got better. Head down to family film club upstairs at the Crown and Anchor. crownandanchorchiswick.com
Learn to master the art of cooking a Curry. Freeze it for Friday nights and ditch the takeaway.
Cellar Sessions by WLM London Mother’s Club
From pamper mornings to craft classes, all events offer on-site childcare. Meet fellow mums and get your craft on.
Learn all about wine in a relaxed and fun environment…sessions are held at Hammersmith’s The Hampshire Hog. westlondonmum.co.uk
londonmothersclub.blogspot.co.uk
angelamalik.co.uk
Book Club – The Bush Theatre
Fancy an outdoor swim all year round? Enjoy the warmth of the Hampton Pool heated to 28C. Lovely. mothers-meeting.com
Macbeth Centre Hoping to win The Booker Prize? The Macbeth Centre offers adult classes for everything…including creative writing. hfals.co.uk
Maggie & Rose With a location in Kensington and soon to launch Chiswick, rainy days just got a lot brighter! Family members club Maggie & Rose keep the whole family entertained. maggieandrose.com
Eat Play Love Cafe
The family friendly café in Battersea. Great coffee, food and a play area – the perfect place to spend the weekend. facebook.com/EatPlayLoveCafe
Meet Ups – find one in West London Looking to make some mummy friends? There’s a meet up group for everything…start connecting! meetup.com
Dial Emma Overwhelmed? Want to sort through baby clothes? Have stuff to sell? Declutter and move into the calm zone with Emma. facebook.com/pages/Dialemma
Burger and Lobster Sometimes choice isn’t always a good thing. These people make it easy with just two options to choose from. Sorted. burgerandlobster.com
Mums Show Live
The one stop show aimed toward children 4-12. A great and informative day out for mums and kids. mumshowlive.com
David Bowie Retrospective Ch, ch, ch, changes…head over to the V&A for this in depth exhibition of Bowie. On until August 11, 2013.
Coco Nail Bar Mummy Mornings at Coco Nail Bar mean there’s no excuse not to have perfectly manicured nails. coconailbar.com
vam.ac.uk
Photography for Parents Dust off that DSLR and start snapping great pictures of your family. Pre-walking babies are welcome. Classes run across London. photographyforparents.co.uk
Westway – Wall Climbing Soar to new heights and climb a wall – a perfect workout and challenge. Beware – it’s addictive. westwaysportscentre.org.uk
Morning, daytime and evening drop-in friendly ballet classes Easter Beginner Taster Classes also featuring Zumba Gold Beginners Contemporary Beginner Pointe Class Popular Complete Beginner Courses
Celebrating 10 Years
MINDFUL PARENTING -
CAN IT BE DONE?
by James Darby
I have to confess that I struggle with the
concept of ‘mindful parenting.’ There’s something a little unsavoury, condescending and saccharine about it. It may be a language thing, but it seems to me that buried deep and implicitly within the term, is the value judgement that tells us we should really be doing rather better at this parenting thing; that we ought to be taking a course in mindful parenting by way of selfimprovement, and if we don’t then well, we are not really mindful parents, are we? Slapped wrists all round, bad parent, shame on you! OK, so I exaggerate a little, but you get the gist, the two words are rather cobbled together and their union does both ‘mindfulness’ and ‘parenting’ something of a disservice to put it mildly. In the heat of battle there’s no such thing as ‘mindful parenting’. There’s being a parent and there’s the practice of mindfulness.
The former is a lifelong pursuit which is extremely hard work: full of joys and triumphs, sadness’s and disappointments, not to mention sacrifice and unconditional love. Child rearing is messy, poignant, full of mistakes, edges and grey areas. Sometimes we are good at it and sometimes we are rubbish at the job, …overtired, fractious, impatient, bad tempered, distracted…..just like our children in fact. No amount of mindful parenting classes is going to fix that. Parents are human, not perfect.
So what exactly is mindfulness? Mindfulness is a way of being with and attending to experience with awareness rather than judgement. It is about learning to bring a sense of approach and acceptance to the present moment, just as it is, however pleasant or unpleasant, easy, difficult or aggravating. The practice of mindfulness helps us to become more aware of the unhelpful thought patterns that can be so easily triggered by children pressing our buttons, perpetuating stress, anxiety and low moods. With that awareness comes choice and an improved ability to respond rather than to react. If you choose to cultivate it, much like a seed, mindfulness practice can start to pay the most nourishing of dividends, particularly if you give it some love, patience, persistence and attention. Bringing up children is challenging. In essence, mindfulness is about being able to pause long enough so that we can reconnect and ground ourselves in the moment rather than being swept away by our emotions. In so doing, we are able to convey a sense of connection to our children, extending all of the aforementioned qualities into their growing presence and place in the world. Along with our love, it is the greatest gift we can give. James teaches Mindfulness Based Approaches to Individuals, Couples and Groups. He has Spring/Summer mindfulness courses running in Fulham, SW6 in April & May 2013. For more information visit his website at www.embracemindfulness.co.uk or contact James on 0777 275 4626