Wey issue 02

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utting on weight is easy- and oh so delicious. Going on diet to shake it off can be torture. The thought of going to the gym, eating tasteless food, eating greens and depriving yourself of chocolates is just a nightmare to many of us.

Relax, this magazine is not about depriving yourself of anything, but understanding the benefit of looking after your health and preserving the precious asset, YOU. Perception is a funny thing‌things are rarely how we perceive them to be; and our own internal emotions often distort the reality of what is happening around us. So often we really feel down, our perceptions of ourselves are poor. The mind is a powerful thing - and many who achieve the optimum health results start first in getting it right in the mind, and then the body follows.

W.E.Y Magazine recently hosted a Weight Loss Challenge and many who participated can testify to the improvement of the quality of life when you consider doing things for your wellbeing. On a sad note we lost our challenge winner - Dipuo Mahlaule. May her soul rest in peace. She left us with a gift of looking after ourselves and our wellbeing

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since life is too short.

When we talk about wellness here at W.E.Y Magazine we will cover all aspects; Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Financial, Social, Business, Relationships and many other factors that affect our lives. We have lots of articles on inspiration, ideas, motivation, hints and tips to keep you motivated.

Remember to check our events dates – we would like to see you at our upcoming events and hopefully sign up to be a full time member. Join us for fun, inspirational and empowering journey in W.E.Yville. I believe that if we stand together in support of each other we will concur most of our challenges.

For more information on how you can join us on Facebook and becoming a W.E.Y member, kindly contact me for more information. We hope this issue brings you ideas and inspiration to excel in life. Please drop us a line with your comments and suggestions. We love hearing from you W.E.Yans.

Puseletso Modimogale Editor of W.E.Y Magazine info@wey.co.za, www.wey.co.za

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I have come to know Puseletso Modimogale - Puse as we affectionately call her - on three levels. We have connected on a “girly” level and talk about lip glosses, fashion and make-up. This side of her is the first layer to this multifaceted woman I’ve come to know.

I have also come to know her as a woman, as someone who aspires to inspire. I was first introduced to her by a mutual friend through WEY (Woman Emancipate Yourself) the facebook group. The fact that she is instrumental in creating such a platform for women - which also includes WEY magazine and WEY events amongst others - this has proven to me that women issues and empowerment are close to her heart.

Without wanting anything in return she gives so much of herself to make sure that women come together to uplift and inspire themselves and each other.

And lastly, as an aspirant entrepreneur, I’ve also come to know her as a businesswoman who inspires those of us following in her footstep. She is soft-spoken and her quiet dignity and intelligence are the traits I admire the most about her. I had certain expectations and/or perceptions about women in business, most were negative, but Puse has shown me how grace and femininity can be a strong point in conducting yourself.

Warm Regards Esther Mello

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Hello What started by simple click turned into a magical clique.

I met Puseletso whom I fondly call Puse now because of the nature of our friendship on facebook. I was active on facebook for a while so adding one more friend was really nothing exciting. I had so many facebook friend and 98% remain exactly that, cyber friends which 98% remain exactly that. True spiritual, motivational, business updates I soon took notice of Puse and she somehow stood out effortlessly from the midst of my facebook friends. It was more likes, comment then inbox, I mean that’s how facebook relationships go.

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It was probably 6 months or so into our facebook interaction that she invited me to a facebook group that became a life changing experience. She introduced me to a group of women whose life stories had a positive impact in my life. There were tears, laughter, prayer, motivation, sharing and everything women needed to grow spiritually, physically, mentally and socially.

When I found out I have to undergo chemotherapy again, I shared with the group on facebook and Puse chat with me though my inbox to find out more about the challenge I was now facing. Within a week she and other ladies from the group who all I have never met in person paid me a suprise visit in my home to say we r with you all the way..

What started as a simple click, has now turned to a clique of laughter, praying women, friends but mostly it presented me with an elder sister Puseletso. A selfless individual who in the midst of her own challenges will put others first and always smile. A God fearing woman, a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend and a symbol of ubuntu!

Regards, Khanyisa

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thoughts a reality. She is true to herself and the people she works with. Her shoulders are stronger, broader to carry loads and pressures of work, and still comes out with a smile, humble, calm and positive.

TTS is blessed to have such a beautiful, free spirited, intelligent God fearing CEO like her.

She is strong yet weak; she struggles with her own identity from time to time, but she understands that is all part of the game. She is true to her voice and to her inner self. She is resourceful and honest.

She is brutal at times, forcing her way into the world’s reality. uBuhlebethu is blessed to have such a soul.

I’m aspired by her services, her zeal and hard work, positive attitude and creative brain..... she’s the best!!!!!

It has been 1 year working with her, and it feels like I’ve known her for a lifetime. I love this woman The world needs more young black, positive and respectful business women like her.I’m happy and honoured to be mentored and groomed by Puseletso.

Regards Pabi

Dear Puse There’s a lot I can say about working with Puseletso. When I met her the first time, it was more of business meeting. In my head I imagined a boss-like, very serious business woman, who has no time to play or waste on amateur entrepreneur (Lol). To my surprise, when she greeted myself and a friend I was with. Her smile, took away the fear I had and put us at ease. I didn’t know God had such an awesome mentor for me. I gazed up and said ‘Thank you Lord’.

My Working Journey with Puse TTS A phenomenal, professional, purposeful and passionate, humble woman she is.

She is driven by her thoughts, dreams, passion, dedication, love and makes her

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Being confident and comfortable in your skin despite your size. A new hairstyle. Being in a great space mentally and spiritually. A flattering outfit. Making healthy and wise food choices. A bright red lipstick. A fresh manicure and pedicure. A killer pair of heels. A great work-out session... These are a few examples of what helps us on our quest to look and feel good!

Deny

it as we may, there is scientific proof that confirms that when we indeed look good our mood gets boosted. Our confidence levels soar. We walk with a pep in our step. We don’t mind taking centerstage. Ask any bride on her wedding day...

If how we looked didn’t matter, we would all be walking around wearing sacks. Hopefully with killer shoes though! Everyone of us can recall having Sunday clothes or more importantly Christmas clothes. For most, that was the important highlight behind the day. Even those that were not fans of water during the year, they would be the first ones on the day to get bathed and prance up and down the streets with shiny Vaselined faces and new clothes.

Our clothes offer us more than modesty.

They help us create an identity for ourselves.

They speak for us before we even have a chance to introduce ourselves to people.

And of course, there is external rewards to all this effort. When you are immaculately dressed, impeccably groomed and well mannered, people exude a positive energy towards you. You seem more reliable and trustworthy. You even stand a better chance at getting a job or that promotion or even

the right partner. Your clothes are talking.

What are they saying about you?

Looking good and feeling good involves more than the outside. For one to feel their optimum best, they need to take care of the inside too. The Body, Mind and Soul angle is the best approach to ensure a totally balanced individual. The visual you is what initially attracts people to you but it is your personality that will keep them engaged.

We all know people that are gorgeous but once they open their mouths, it’s a let-down . They are either negative, rude or have low self-esteem. Then on the end of the spectrum, there are the unkempt ones, that just roll out of bed and say take me as I am. Normally those kind of people get looked over for so many opportunities because frankly, if they can’t make an effort on themselves, can they be entrusted with anything else?

To ensure that these feel good moments become a permanent feature, commit to making an effort everyday, in no time it becomes a habit. And what a fulfilling habit...

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By Mmabatho Makotanyane “We are lost seeds, with so many lost needs, colourless flowers, we grow out like weeds, cuts and burses, from the task we meet, but still are unaware of whose blood we bleed, trying to match the codes and trace back the past, ‘cause mom is not sharing, who is my dad?” those are the words from a poem “Fatherless Children” by Easephi.

From the words echoed by the poet it is not difficult to see the sadness and remoteness fatherless children go through. What answer does a child give when asked by friends where the father is? Kids are kids; they ask when someone is growing up differently from them. If the other kid is raised by both parents, they’ll ask why the other kid doesn’t have a father in the house. Imagine what that is doing to the kid without a father.

According to the Institute for the Study of Civil Society – Experiments in Living: The Fatherless Family, young adults who grew up not living with their fathers tend to enter partnership earlier and more often as a cohabitation. The study shows that these young adults are more likely to divorce or dissolve their cohabiting unions, less likely to attain qualifications, more likely to experience unemployment, more likely to have low incomes, more likely to be on income support, more likely to experience homelessness, more likely to suffer from long term emotional and psychological problems, more likely to develop health problems and more likely to have children outside marriage or outside any partnership.

Research further shows the effects on the Social fabrics as increased crime and violence, decreased community ties, a growing ‘divorce culture’ and a cycle of fatherlessness.

Michael Mohloiwa (28) is one such person who was raised by a single mother. Michael saw his father when he was only six years old. That’s when the father left with no trace.

He found his father at the age of 17, again he disappeared and that’s when he last saw him. He lives his life today not knowing his father’s whereabouts – if he’s still alive or has passed away.

Michael not only lives with memories of his father when he came to visit him at his granny’s farm with a battery powered car gift he bought him but questions about him and disappointments. The young man shares his experience of living without a father.

“I started dating at the age of 13; my first girlfriend was two or three years older than me. Looking back now, I would say it was more of having a girlfriend than actually being in love. I was told that a boy has to play around as a kid and date a lot of girls so that when he’s grown he would know what it is that he is looking for in a woman when he’s ready to settle down.

“I was always the slowest back at school, I would try asking girls out and they would always say ‘NO’. I started thinking there was something wrong with me. I asked myself how my uncle and his friends had girlfriends but I could not. It affected my self-esteem, I believed less in myself. I started asking girls around me if there’s any problem with me because I just can’t get a girl who’d agree to date me. When they told me I was childish I needed a father to tell me it was normal to be childish at that age. But when I got my first girlfriend I felt like a man.”

Michael said he longed for companionship to have someone who would be there for him during good and bad times. He longed

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for someone to share his life and dreams with.

“I always wanted a family from an early age. I wanted to have a child of my own, someone to call me dad, father and someone I can look after and be their pillar of strength when they are weak. I always thought I’d get married at an early age, which means I should have been married by now but my relationships don’t last. I don’t break them – the girl would and I’d be left devastated and ask myself what I did wrong, the same pattern will follow in my next relationship. I wanted to learn on my own how to break this circle without a father.

“Growing up as a fatherless child can lead to greater levels of aggression where you deal with problems violently, you always fight with people whenever you are around them, you start being abusive towards your girlfriend and you engage in substance abuse. As a guy you become emotional.

“I needed someone to look up to, someone to believe in, someone to give me money for school trips and varsity fees. Having a ‘never give up’ spirit is great, but having that spirit and a father figure is greater. Growing up without a dad sometimes makes a boy build walls and boundaries just to stop people from seeing his softer side.”

There’s more than that meets the eye when it comes to children growing up without fathers. Statistics from The Fatherless Generation show that 63% of the youth are from fatherless homes (US department of Health/census), 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times average, 85% of all children who show behaviour disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average (Centre for Disease Control), 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes – 14 times the average (Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, p. 403-26), 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report).

What can be the course of kids growing up without fathers? Is it because men are intimidated by independent women? Is it because they can’t take care of their

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responsibilities? Is it because some women prefer to raise kids on their own than having a man to help support as they have it all? Is it because he was not ready to have a kid – maybe he’ll be present when the child is a bit ‘matured’? Is it because men are tired of demanding women that they let them raise the kids on their own? What could be the reason? W.E.Y Magazine had a group of women to share their views.

Masabata Motsepe said; “Some children were conceived through rape, sexual abuse, and one night stand with a stranger. Some women had multiple partners and not sure who the real father is. With modern life and new ways of conception which happens in a laboratory, obviously, children born through these methods in most cases will not have an opportunity to know the father.”

“It’s very painful because a daughter’s first love is her father and a son’s first hero is his father. My son is also fatherless because his father is never there. Even though the man I have in my life is playing a big role, he knows he is not his real dad. It used to break my heart but now I’m strong. We just have too many absent fathers and it’s a cycle we must break. I pray my son grows to be a better man, a great husband and a heroic father,” said Noelle Makhaukane Wa-Ka Ngobeni.

Nomazizi Sondiyazi said; “My ex-husband was raised by a single parent and his whole life was just gogo’s. His mom was disabled; the dad’s side never accepted the disabled mom so he never married the mom. They struggled, when he became a dad he was just bitter and very abusive. To make matters worse, the mom protected him too much because she felt guilty as the man abandoned them. My hubby now turned into a monster, he can’t be a dad. We have two kids but he is just cold.

“The point I’m driving home is that some men have wounds they still need to heal. Since I’ve given my children to God he provides and I’m happy. He couldn’t buy food – he never did! My kids never got a toy from their dad but he claims he loves them. Kids are for both parents and their well being is in our hands –both of us!”

By Simphiwe Mbatha

Sitting here and wondering how to tackle

this subject for the second edition of W.E.Y Magazine, a number of things cross my mind – my childhood, growing up teased for being big and called nick names, my late twenties and early thirties when people mistaken me for being an elder sister or mother to friends who are two or three years older than me, having to brave all that and eventually being called “isidudla esizithandayo, trendsetter, inspiration, an example”.

Then Ouma Tema, a woman with a personality larger than life from Plus-Fab’s statement from the W.E.Y event 2012 DVD crosses my mind when she said, “… do not mind my stomach, I cannot rent it out so I have to own it!”

The question then becomes, what is selflove? Is it all about looks? Then I cannot help but go as far back as my childhood, how my mom raised me. She raised me with the principles of love; acceptance, respect, co-ordination and hygiene. These principles were applicable to me and everyone around me. After she passed away when I was 12, I remember thinking “I should never let myself down by abandoning these principles”.

With the blessings of salvation at age 16, these principles got entrenched through the biblical principles and conversations with God. The clear knowledge that: • My body is a temple, therefore a God’s dwelling place (deal or remove the internal baggage) • I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image (nothing that I am is a mistake) • I have been given life in abundance (I need to live a full and fulfilling life) • I should love my neighbour as I love myself (it all starts with me) I started realising that my body is a vehicle that needs to be taken care of, but it is not the be-it and end-all of me. The journey of self-love starts from within.

As women we spend too much time fidgeting and fussing about our external short-comings then we miss the boat completely, we end up living empty and miserable lives. The sooner we realise that to

live a life that is overflowing, it needs to be full first. Before we (I) can walk tall, I need to be at peace with who I am. I need to accept that my imperfections make me unique but they do not define me.

I need to take charge of the things that I can change and make peace with those I cannot. I need to enhance my good aspects and hide or own the less appealing aspects of me. For example, I do not let my fabulous size 50 body take away my refreshing and healing smile. My smile is refreshing and healing because internally all is well. Therefore it just bubbles involuntary to the outside, it overflows.

Yes size 50 is not a flattering size, it makes taking a flight a nightmare, it is a health hazard for me but guess what, until I manage to lose weight and become a desired size 40/42 I will LIVE! I will change my relationship with food by eating right and eating good food.

I will dress this humongous temple with the best linens I can find. I will sway it gracefully like a grand chapel’s bell everywhere I go.

This gorgeous temple carries the treasures of heaven that needs to be shared with the world. Its size will not stop me from living my life to the fullest.

If I were to give advice to you about selflove, I would say make peace with what is not pleasing to your eye by changing it or adjusting it to your needs. Focus on working on your inside: be more to yourself then it will be easy and possible to be more to others. If you love yourself you will love others easily. If you forgive yourself you will be more forgiving to others. If you give to yourself it will be easy to give to others. If you can laugh at yourself, YOU will definitely be able to laugh with others. You will attract what you are inside because it will show on the outside. You will definitely repel haters and shallow people!

You will be invisible to them.

So my beautiful, unique and wonderful women - YOU are not perfect but YOU are wonderfully made in God’s image. So stop fidgeting and fussing, find God in you and live your life to the fullest, because honey that is self-love!

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By Nhlanhla Zwane

Is it true that men are from Mars and women from Venus? If it is, does it mean that men and women are at war? To answer these questions we need to go back to history when a male and a female discovered themselves. The biblical story of the creation is interesting because it suggest that at some point a woman was inside of a man or vice versa, as it is recorded that the rib was taken out of Adam to form Eve. We can either take that story literally or we can take it figuratively with the meaning that a male and a female were one in soul and spirit.

T

his oneness we should not ignore because it tells us that there was a point in history where a male and a female were not in combat but in cohesion.

The dilemma of humanity is identity and meaning. What does it mean to be a man and what does it mean to be a woman? As much as the roles may differ by the virtue of our physical make up, both our life’s purpose is to dominate and rule this world but not each other.

The recorded history has shaped the psychology of men and women as we know it today. It will take courage to change the way men and women view each other in the 21st century.

It is my ambition in this article to highlight

certain shortcomings of the current way of thinking and introduce the new order of thinking. This will be the course of when a woman has emancipated, a man must man up.

ONCE UPON A TIME

When the ancient people looked at a man and a woman they saw people who go around and feel the attraction towards each other and then have a sexual experience, then a baby was the result of that attraction.

But when they looked at the woman they saw that when this baby is born he or she needs milk, which comes from the woman and therefore it was assumed that the mother should look after the young one while the father goes out to make sure that their economic needs are met. This was a perfect cohesion until laziness crept in on men and

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men started abusing this arrangement.

All the systems, structures and cultures were now motivated by this arrangement, but the laziness to grow disrupted the flow of things that men started to abuse the system.

The main word here is the fear of growth to Man Up according to the context of this article.

These women on the other hand were enjoying the role of being served economically by these men until their natural need of dominating the environment was awaken in them. They also felt the power of domination and they wanted to emancipate themselves.

From this awakening it has been war ever since. Women in their quest for restoration to their original intent realised that they cannot compete with the physical forcefulness of men. They were never without power because the greatest motivation of a man is a woman. The sexual attraction and the need for affirmation from an opposite sex were just too much for a man to leave without.

Upon realisation by the woman that she has the sexual power she used it a lot to have her way around the system that is dominated by a man. As the man was consolidating his power to control the woman, the woman was perfecting the art of manipulating the man to get her way.

As time goes on some consciousness came upon some men and women. The culture and the economic world were opened to both men and women. But the power battle never stopped, it is still on and is causing casualties along the way. People get used and hurt, treated like objects and the value of their souls is not protected at all.

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But the question is who is going to be bold enough and say, ‘wait a minute; we are not supposed to be competing with one another but complementing each other’?

The upcoming Man Up and Women Emancipate Yourselves is aimed at addressing this dilemma and coming up with the ten commandments on how we can handle the inevitable changes that are facing our ability to relate with one another.

Here are my 10 commandments.

1. Love the opposite sex as you love yourself 2. Believe in your differences 3. Look forward to the desired outcome than your power over them 4. Continue to discover them until eternity 5. Speak the truth in Love 6. Let your words be life giving 7. See them as your equals 8. Connect to their personhood than their status 9. Protect them in every way 10. When a woman has emancipated, a man must man up.

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Entering

the Khumalo home you are welcomed by photo displays, some of the W.E.Y Foundation gifts adorning the TV stand. One that stood out the most was the beaming photo of Dipuo Mahlaule with an embalmed message that read; “I will always love you my sister”.

The wake of a New Year brought members sudden loss of our fellow W.E.Yan and the very first 2012 winner of the W.E.Y Foundation weight loss programme, Dipuo Elizabeth Mahlaule, the first contestant to be crowned W.E.Yan of the Year last December – ranking her the biggest loser in the Gauteng Province. Dipuo was laid to rest on Saturday, 13 January 2013.

Shortly after her burial W.E.Y. Magazine paid the family a visit in her remembrance. Dipuo celebrated her much achieved weight loss of 13.5kg after weighing 89kg, followed by second prize winner, Tebatso Seloane who lost 10kg and Jody Mathibe with a whopping 9.5kg at third place.

Our recent visit to her mother Mme Sonto Jane Khumalo took us down memory lane even marred with loss, what ifs and what could haves.

“There isn’t a day I don’t miss my daughter, just her company and motivation, we were moving mountains together. God spoke too soon,” said Mme Sonto.

She described Dipuo as a very motivated and committed daughter, very honest and uncompromising in her faith. Her untimely death was not an anticipated one, just days of flu symptoms that led to body aches and ultimately plain paralysis.

By: Tebogo Motsuku

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“Dipuo started complaining about her body aches and flu, she had Med-Lemon and started sweating. It went on for days but she just kept the faith and the impression that she was going to be fine. She was gradually getting weak but could still talk and joke around. On New Year’s day she woke up

bubbly and talkative, it was only at 3am when we both woke up to pray and Dipuo broke out in song singing ‘Ke tshepile wena’ and went back to sleep”, explained Mme Sonto.

Mme Sonto said that on the next day Dipuo woke up semi-paralysed; even her body massages could not improve the condition.

She said Dipuo could not walk, she could not feel her legs neither could she even stand on her own. Her doctor referred her to George Mukhari hospital when she continued to slip through further paralysis to a stage of losing her taste buds, being weaker and was motionless and losing her breath.

“All I remember was she asked me to lift her head and slowly whispered something I could not make out what it was; then nurses took her away in an isolated ward. Just in seconds she died, I lost my daughter just like that. At some point I hoped she would just wake up – that it was all a bad dream,” lamented her mother.

Dipuo died on the same day her late grandmother died in the previous year, one died at 10am while the other at 10pm.

“I guess that’s how close they were. They even died on the same day and time; she grew up with my mom and even stayed with her for years while she was still married to Mahlaule. They were my mother’s kids, she loved Dipuo and her husband,” said her mother.

Mother of two daughters, Nkateko and Rhulani, a Health Science and Social Services graduate and former Sewing Mechanist at Express Personnel Services, a 32-year-old Dipuo was popularly known for her unshaken faith, an active member at her church and affectionately remembered for her sense of humour by her beloved family and friends.

Amongst her string of prizes she had won, W.E.Y Magazine Editor and W.E.Y Foundation

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Founder Puseletso Modimogale handed all Dipuo’s winnings to Mme Sonto. Booking her a full body massages day retreat at Therapeutic Touch Studio. Mme Sonto was grateful for the day.

“That was what I needed, and that’s why my baby girl wanted us to share. I’m grateful Puse and the sponsors thought of such gesture for us, I felt my daughter was special and I saw the worth of what she committed herself into. She purely deserved it,” smiled Mme Sonto as she continued; “I can only pray that God continues to bless their goals.”

Along with the day full body massage, she received leather designed jacket from House of Abiela, an elegant Lady T hat, four vouchers with consultations from Epitome Image and Lifestyle Consultancy coupled with a dinner for two vouchers.

“W.E.Y Foundation has experienced a great loss, a woman of God. Dipuo proved to us that determination and perseverance

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lead to success. She focused on the goal of losing weight and she achieved it. Her losing weight was a lesson to all of us that the power lies within us. She came into our lives in a short time but her presence was felt because she lived to inspire others and shared jokes. May her soul rest in peace; she will forever be in our hearts,” said Puseletso Modimogale.

Dipuo entered the W.E.Y Foundation challenge as an opportunity to challenge herself but also for emotional reasons. The prospect excited her, as she had described it in our little interaction as “a place where the action was”. She loved the challenge as her family attests that she was an active person who dedicated her time to wake up at 5am for a morning jog and late-night jogs during her night shifts. She had even formed gym buddies at work while her mother was literally pulled in the morning jogs schedules.

Mme Sonto burst out laughing when she recalls the efforts and being persuaded into exercise routines even when she didn’t need them.

She described Dipuo as supportive, persuasive, loving and determined. “She was a big dreamer; she was onto many projects in developing herself and helping the family. Just recently I received a call from a furniture store, following up on her dining room suite she was secretly buying for me – that was Dipuo, she loved small meaningful gestures,” she added.

Longtime friend, Ntombi Morake described Dipuo as fair, caring and relied upon her faith. “We have come a long way with Dipuo since our fellowship in 1995 till the days with Christian Fellowship Ministries; Dipuo was a sister to me and my family. Everything we would share and confide in, she relied on scriptures,” she said.

Recalling her last days with Dipuo, she mentioned that should she ever die she would not be “my friend in her afterlife because she would be worshipping in heaven, she won’t have time for friendships” said Ntombi, quoting her favourite scripture, Isaiah 57:1-2; “The righteous man perishes

and no man takes it to heart and devout man are taken away; while no one understands that the righteous man taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly, enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.”

Survived by her two daughters, her mother, her siblings – Noah, Bongani and Thulani, Dipuo is solely remembered for her frankness, her sense of humour and her last days dancing to her gospel songs with her children.

As we are about to wrap up our interview, we go through her memorabilia containing a stolen prayer item she secretly took from her mother’s bedroom, an SMS from her thanking her mother’s support for her babysitting while she did nightshifts, a Learner’s license for her driving lessons and her UNISA registration documents.

It has been a loss to her fellow W.E.Y members who attended the funeral in support and love of a dear sister.

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Other foods like fish, meat, eggs were introduced later, little by little. One of the most important things was that I treated myself to red meat over weekends only.

Each day consists of 3 main meals and 2 snacks. It is important that you eat all your meals to keep your blood sugar levels intact.

I reduced my eating portions in general and increased green vegetable intake.

N.B: Do not starve yourself; make sure you have your breakfast daily.

Exercise programme I love walking; therefore I introduced Brisk Walking and added skipping 3 times a week. I am not keen on exercise but doing what I like made it easier and fun.

F

or the past 10 years that I have been overweight, I tried it all. I have been in all types of diets – healthy and unhealthy. I took pills, injections, shakes, bought every book and tried every recipe. I would lose weight for a little while and gain it all back plus extra kilos. It became a vicious cycle that only Tebatso Seloane could break.

I needed to change focus, diet with a purpose and make choices that will benefit me and my family for eternity; I chose to lead a healthy lifestyle. Healthy meant, watching what I eat, excising and maintaining the lifestyle.

I have learnt that it is important to know your blood type before engaging in any form of diet. I began to prepare balanced eating meals according to my blood type.

I read Eat Right For Your Type by Dr. Peter J D’Adamo.

My diet consisted of healthy carbohydrates, dairy products, protein, vegetables, fruits, fat and water. Most important, I took multivitamin and omega 3 supplements daily.

For the first 3 weeks I had brown rice, rolled oats, vegetables, fruits, and beans as a substitute for my protein, soy milk for my dairy products and 2-3 litres of water daily and I used olive oil in all my cooking. I lost 7.5kg in the first 3 weeks.

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When it got tough • My family stepped in and gave support.

• I used the dress that I waited to fit in as my screen saver.

• I reminded myself that this is a lifestyle not a diet.

• I told myself I want to be forty and fabulous in my desired weight.

The best part of losing the weight • Doing it together with my husband, who decided to join in the eating plan; we are now rolling over to kids. I have reduced the intake of take outs and sweets. We are now able to snack on healthy food.

• Compliments from people motivate me so much that I have broken the cycle that occurred over the past 10 years.

• I love the fact that I am able to fit into my old clothes with no hassle, I can buy smaller size clothes.

• I no longer have a lower back problem.

How I am maintaining my weight I have acquired a sustainable eating plan for myself and family. This has improved our wellbeing; it is simple and easy to follow. I ensure that we have variety of meals, well presented, nicely spiced and beautifully garnished. I stick to my exercise programme.

I would like to lose a further 5kg and work on toning my muscles.

Height 1.67 Start Weight 89kg Goal Weight 79kg Weight Lost 10kg Time Taken 12 Weeks

By Phumzile Motsumi There comes a point in every woman’s life where they reflect on everything in their personal lives. One of the things women reflect on is their bodies. I look at my body and say I need to lose some weight and the first thing that comes to mind is gym, then diet. Some not even thinking twice about it, off they go to gyms. Let’s start at the beginning: 1. Why do you want to lose that weight?

2. What is the motivation behind wanting to lose weight?

3. What is your target weight loss?

4. Have you discussed this with your doctor?

Let’s start at 4, firstly go to your doctor once you have decided that you want to shed a few kilos, let him or her do a full physical check and let him or her advice you on how to go about it. The second thing to do would be to detox before you start any regime of losing weight. Detox doesn’t mean the use of laxatives contrary to what many people would think, there are fruits and vegetables that can do that for you without causing any pains, like your green veggies and fruits with a high water content – berries, watermelon etc. Once you’ve done the first two then you can start with a regime.

We are not built the same way, our body structures are not the same just as our genetic make-up isn’t the same. For the body to function to its full capacity it needs nourishment, the fat in your body some of it is needed by the very body for energy.

Some women are muscular built; other people’s weight is made up of fat (adipose tissues) others are bony. Taking all of this into consideration, that’s the reason why it’s very important to see your doctor first, our bodies need nourishment and they actually

depend on it in order to keep a strong immune system so that it can fight disease within our bodies.

If you lose too much weight you also lose those important nutrients in your body and your immune system goes downhill. You’ll find that even a simple thing like flu becomes fatal as the body has run out of weapons, the body in turn finds itself attacking other systems in the body and thus having unexplained causes of certain outcomes that may even lead to demise. This is why you get stories about people collapsing at the gym or a sportsman especially soccer players who collapse and never make it.

It’s because the body has been pushed to extreme limits and depleted of valuable substances.

The idea is not to put anyone off losing weight and having that perfect physique.

If you have motivation or a target weight, plan ahead and do it in time, start looking at what you eat. Healthy eating habits are a must and it doesn’t have to be tasteless, you can make it enjoyable and rewarding at the same time.

Slow down sister there’s no pressure. Most importantly; do not compare yourself to anyone; there can never be two of you.

You are your own person, your path is being laid out for you and only you can walk in it.

Science says 1kg a month; you can defy it a little bit maybe by doing 2 or 3kg as long as you follow your doctor’s advice and conforming to a healthy lifestyle and doing away with unhealthy habits.

Here is to good health; positive attitude, acceptance of the self. Live a happy life do things in moderation, sometimes little is more and too much is less.

May the good Lord bless you all and happy boot camping or gym remember all in moderation.

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South Africa is currently home to 5,979,510

small, medium and micro enterprises (SMMEs), all playing a vital role towards the overall achievement of job creation and economic growth in the country. The successes of these enterprises are however greatly influenced by the entrepreneur’s personal abilities.

Reality demonstrates that about 70% of the start-ups in South Africa fail within the first three years of their existence. The Global Entrepreneurship Monitor (GEM), a monitor that measures and compares entrepreneurial activity of 183 countries including South Africa, predicts nine out of ten failures of start-up initiatives in South Africa. Thus the vast majority of SMMEs do not reach their full potential and fail to grow,

resulting in lost jobs and wealth opportunities for the region in which they are based.

Aspects such as the ability to break into markets influence SMMEs greatly. SMMEs often tend to be clustered in supply-driven markets filled with competition, and need to be encouraged to build enterprises operating in demand-driven environments.

Other hindrances include; access to adequate financing and the management of funding, their ability to keep records and manage employees, also the ability to market and sell their products and services.

These are just some of the decisive elements that determine the health and wellness of SMMEs.

A few tips on how to keep your business healthy.

A good starting point is by keeping record and understanding your finances.

The table below provides a few easy formulas to build in financial controls in your business.

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The Enablis programme firstly acts to attract new members with appropriate potential to the network by offering measurable value to the entrepreneur. Secondly, the programme aims to; stimulate entrepreneurial motivation and commitment, develop pertinent competencies and enhance networks and networking skills. By doing this, Enablis facilitates better access to resources for entrepreneurs and supports better business performance. This means that Enablis members demonstrate higher start-up, survival and growth than those of the broader population of entrepreneurs, with consequent impact on job creation and poverty alleviation.

and real results through measuring the impact of interventions.

The Enablis membership base is divided into Bronze, Silver and Gold categories, on the basis that members at different stages of the business’ development process have different priorities and therefore different needs as presented in the model below.

Enablis partners with companies such as Tushiyah Advisory Services to support their coaching and training programmes.

Tushiyah is well aware of the challenges facing entrepreneurs, and addresses these challenges through specialised business management training, mentoring and coaching, encouraging entrepreneurship by mobilizing and up-skilling ordinary South Africans to deliver extraordinary business results.

Implementing entrepreneurship programmes has a dual goal; developing SMMEs while giving sponsors to these programmes a return on their investment

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For more information on the services of Enablis and Tushiyah, visit their websites on: www.enablis.org www.tushiyah.co.za

W.E.Y Magazine talks to Lebo Pule, Chief Sales Executive at Lebo Pule Business Networks. She shares some important information about proposals. Maybe you didn’t know much about proposals, let Lebo fill you in to help you win at the end of your hectic business day.

Why do customers or clients want proposals?

Having been in sales for many years and in a few industries, I have come to learn that proposals mean different things to different clients. There are clients who by saying ‘send me a proposal’ actually mean ‘send me a quotation’ while others mean ‘send me a solution to my problems’.

Let me explain the difference between a quotation and a proposal. A quotation talks about how much the client is going to pay for the services rendered, a quotation is usually requested when your services are clear and/or are known to the client. A proposal on the other hand is about how your services will add value to your client’s business. Furthermore, clients request proposals to test your level of understanding of their needs and also your expertise.

What goes into a winning proposal?

Clients will usually respond positively to proposals that can address the following: • Is what you are proposing what they want?

• Is what you are proposing going to save them money in a long run?

• Is what you are proposing going to improve the way they do business?

• Is what you are proposing going to save them time, by speeding up their work?

• Is what you are proposing going to help them increase their revenue directly or indirectly?

A winning proposal usually covers some or all of the above.

What goes into a client-centered proposal?

Sales people need to remember that proposals are not about them, proposals are about clients. Very often sales people get caught up in the ‘past glory’ they had with other clients, while that is important as it touches on experience, it really has nothing to do with the client at hand and should never dominate the proposal. The past glories should be at the end of a proposal not at the beginning, the beginning and the

middle should be about how you are going to help the prospect you are sourcing right now, and that is a client centered proposal.

What will make a prospective client choose your proposal?

Remember much as clients are clients, they are also people. They will gravitate towards a proposal that has answered their questions the most because it tells them you were listening, you are attentive and you are likely to give the same kind of service. They will always gravitate towards a proposal that talks to their needs. Interestingly, money is not the main deciding factor.

What are some of the tips for maximizing your winning ratio in proposals?

• During the meeting prior to the proposal listen to what the client is saying. Gone are the days of fast talking sale, pushy sales reps.

• Forget about the past glories while you write the proposal to your prospective client.

• Start all your proposals from scratch, avoid cutting and pasting.

• Ensure that the prospective client’s needs and questions are answered by your proposal.

• Finally offer real value to the client and watch your pricing.

Happy selling!

Lebo Pule Business Networks offers the following: - Sales advisory and coaching to entrepreneurs and sales managers - Run three day sales workshops - We also assist you in business development, opening doors and generating leads for you.

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Detoxing is an effective way to remove toxins from the body.

But what is Financial Detox? What toxins should be removed? Paying off debt can be an effective way of removing toxins.

Trace back to what happens after maxing out your cards during the festive season.

Remember the debt you are left with that you still need to pay off? Don’t lose hope, there is a way, but it needs a sensible plan.

Here are eight quick tips to help you detox financially.

First and foremost, financial detox is actually part of the ‘action plan’ of your financial management, and it has to start with clear objectives or goals.

1. Set your Goals The first important question is, ‘what are my life’s goals?’ or rather ‘what is it that I want to achieve in life?

2. Reality Check: Where are you? How did you arrive there?

The absolute first step is to check your credit report and admit past mistakes.

“I am able to control only that which I am aware of. That which I am unaware of, controls me.” John Whitmore 3. Budget! Budget! Budget! –the foundation of every decision you make!

Budget will help you to clearly see the difference between your income and your expenditure, and help you differentiate between needs and wants. It will also highlight the difference between your actuals and budgeted.

Your money shouldn’t tell you what to do.

You’re the boss! Regardless of whether your budget tells you that you are over-indebted and you need debt counselling or you are ok. What is important is to know your starting point and then to plan your way forward and whether you are prepared to take charge and be in control.

THE DETOX PLAN

Before starting with your detox plan, decide on the duration first: a week, a month or a few years? It all depends on your goals and the verdict of your budget, the concept and the commitment is similar.

LET’S HAVE A LOOK AT THE WEEK DETOX PLAN

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1. Stock Up First, prepare for your Financial Detox survival kit or toolbox by stocking up on the basics – whatever you need to survive a week without compromising your health, your relationships or your job. This includes filling up your petrol, shopping for a week’s worth of breakfasts, lunch boxes and dinners, and filling any prescriptions as per your budget.

2. Leave Your Cards and Cash At Home Begin the financial detox by leaving your cards and cash at home; see how it feels to go without your usual, everyday temptations like new shoes, sodas, happy hour drink or your favourite morning muffin (that might even interfere with your diet plan).

3. Stay Committed Next, cancel any commitments that will unnecessarily cost you money this week.

Unsubscribe emails or contacts/networks that keep selling you things you don’t really need, remember ‘if you don’t need it, it’s not a bargain”.

4. Avoid Temptations Not spending money out of choice can prove to be very difficult, however it’s at this point that you will find out if you are a shopaholic or not. You will have a better idea of what a “want” versus a “need” is.

You will also combat whatever ‘money disorder’ you might have had before.

“Sometimes you don’t even know what you want until you find out you can’t have it.” ― Meghan O’Rourke 5. Get Things Done Now is a great time to check off items from your to-do list you have been procrastinating to complete for some time. You will find that you have extra time when you’re NOT spending money during the detox, so it’s important to stay occupied. Organising that bookshelf or simply just being productive at your work. Surely by now you will feel proud and becoming more positive about your achievement so far.

6. Track and Calculate Every time you get a craving to spend money on something you’d like to have, but don’t need to have - note the item and what you would have spent to buy it. When you’ve reached the end of the detox, look over your list and add up the costs - this number represents your savings for the week. For the first time ‘saving’ has a different meaning!

Who said you need to have money to save?

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7. Learn from any mistakes…roll with the punches There is always a first time for everything, should you fall off the wagon during the week, roll with the punches. You probably ran out of food by midweek, and had to buy lunch and groceries. Next time you detox, make sure you assign a realistic value for the grocery budget to last for a week. Did you buy your grocery wisely?

8. Reward yourself When all is said and done and you recognise that you saved by not spending your money unnecessarily and for a week you have managed to fight off any bad spending behavior, reward yourself! Do a little rest and relaxation to keep you motivated and inspired, but remember that your R&R should be in line with your ultimate goal(s) set at the beginning!

For longer detox duration, you may need to consider the following: • Become actively involved in your finances.

• Find yourself a financial planner/ financial advisor/ debt counsellor if you experience challenges when dealing with your finances.

• Ask your advisor about your rights (NCA Act 2005, CPA Act 2009, Council of Medical Aids, etc).

• Remember that using a credit card is using someone else’s money which must be repaid. Rather pay for your living expenses (food, petrol, water and lights, school fees) with your debit card.

Watch out for fraud, phishing emails/SMS/ phone calls that want to rob you of your hard-earned money.

Good Life Debt Counsellors provides sustainable financial fundamentals through stress management and motivational speaking to complete the holistic approach of breaking the ‘debt cycle.’ With us it does not end with paying the bills, it’s also about ‘how NOT to be over-indebted’, a detailed financial detox is also incorporated in our financial wellbeing programmes, customised for individuals, SMMEs, Employees Wellness, students and the community outreach programmes.

‘Life is Good without gldebtcounsellors.co.za TWT:@GoodlifeDC1

Debt’

at

www.

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By Miranda Mabokgwane

I chose to write this article in a study format,

just to show how important a well-balanced life is even in the Bible. In the buzz of life our lives are scattered in different directions and we are called jack of all trades but master of none, because there is no part of our lives where we excel and as a result we are plagued by diseases. Ladies it is possible, as you study the text below I can only hope that this truth can be a reality even in your own personal life.

1 John 3:3 “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”

The word used here commonly means in the New Testament to pray; but it is also employed to express a strong and earnest desire for anything. It seems that John wished earnestly that “in all respects” he might have the same kind of prosperity which his soul had. The common translation “above all things” would seem to mean that John valued health and outward prosperity more than he did anything else; that he wished that more than his usefulness or salvation.

This cannot be the meaning, and is not demanded by the proper interpretation of the original. The sense is, “In every respect, I wish that it may go as well with you as it does with your soul; that in your worldly prosperity, your comfort, and your bodily health, you may be as prosperous as you are in your religion.” This is the reverse of the wish which we are commonly constrained to express for our friends; for such is usually the comparative want of prosperity and advancement in their spiritual interests, that it is an expression of benevolence to desire that they might prosper in that respect as much as they do in others.

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This word, ‘prosper’, in this passage means “to lead in a good way; to prosper one’s journey; and then to make prosperous; to give success to; to be prospered.” It would apply here to any plan or purpose entertained. It would include success in business, happiness in domestic relations, or prosperity in any of the engagements and transactions in which a Christian might lawfully engage. It shows that it is right to wish that our friends may have success in the works of their hands and their plans of life.

And be in health - to enjoy bodily health. It is not necessary to suppose that it is directed to a sick person. But it is common, in all circumstances, to wish for the health and prosperity of our friends; and it is as proper as it is common, if we do not give that a degree of prominence above the welfare of the soul.

Even as thy soul prospereth - John had learned, it would seem, brethren are advancing more in the knowledge of the truth, and are exemplary in the duties of the Christian life, than they are in other aspects and he prays that in all other respects they might be prospered as much as they are in that. It is not very common that a man is more prospered in his spiritual interests than he is in his other interests, or that we can, in our wishes for the welfare of our friends, make the prosperity of the soul, and the practice and enjoyment of religion, the standard of our wishes in regard to other things. It argues a high state of piety when we can, as the expression of our highest desire for the welfare of our friends, express the hope that they may be in all respects as much prospered as they are in their spiritual concerns.

An end of an era is certainly not the end of your destiny. Women have stories to tell. Lindie Mdluli tells us how she lost a husband, home, family unit and her only sister. In the midst of it all, she witnessed as grace stooped down and pulled her out of the pit she called life. She tells us how she found grace waiting for her after experiencing all the hardship in her life. Grace renewed her life, this is how.

MY EARLY YEARS

It seems from the time I entered this world my life was to be marred with challenges, my childhood was not an easy one. I witnessed my parents fighting repeatedly. As I grew up I swore that my adult life would be free from such. Little did I know my childhood was just setting the pace for more challenges to come.

CHOOSING HIM OVER GOD

In my early twenties I found Jesus. I ran with zeal that was inspired by my love for all things, God and youthful innocence. When I got married to my husband later on, my relationship with God became a hurdle for my marriage, or should I say my marriage became a stumbling block in my walk with the Lord. I had always known I was called and went to Bible school, but in my second year of Bible study I quit because life had become more and more unbearable at home – fighting all the time about my church activities with my husband. I slowly began moving away from church to keep the peace at home. Looking back now I realise that I severed my relationship with God, but God never left me.

Instead of things normalising at home they got worse. My husband abused alcohol and became more abusive towards me.

Many times my kids and I would end up at the police station opening cases or being transported to a place of safety. A day after one of our weekend fights when I was lying in my kids’ bedroom crying, asking God what I have done to deserve so much pain, my husband walked in and knelt beside me and apologised. We talked and he admitted he had a problem and asked me to help him.

That very same afternoon we went to his first AA meeting and soon after that life became normal.

WHEN I WAS DIAGNOSED

A month later towards the end of 2008 I became ill and was admitted in ICU. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes at the age of 32. This didn’t shock me because my father had died of this disease at age 49, it was common in my family. I was put on insulin immediately and had to change my lifestyle completely. Early in 2009 I discovered I was pregnant. I was always tired; my body was in constant pain.

I naturally assumed it was the diabetes. When my doctor did tests they discovered I had Systemic Lupus Erythematous (autoimmune disease, where the immune system attacks the body instead of protecting it). I just told myself that I will fight this disease with all I had because a life was growing inside of me.

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Within a month of the diagnosis, I experienced more and more symptoms.

These diseases were accelerating at an alarming rate. I became immobile from the second trimester; I could not stand up without feeling like I would die on the spot, let alone take a trip to the loo. But I was more determined to bring my unborn baby into this world more than anything. I would sometimes sit there counting days and hours. At six months I was admitted again in hospital and doctors decided to remove my baby as my blood pressure was extremely high. I prayed hard that night and I was stable the next day.

I was admitted once more in ICU when I was seven months pregnant, I could not breathe.

I could not even bear the pain. My boy was born the next day and soon after I laid eyes on him I slowly began losing consciousness, I could hear the doctors panicking in the room. My gynaecologist kept shouting at me to stay awake but I lost conscious. When I woke up I was still in ICU fighting for my life, hanging on by a thread but I slowly started recovering.

FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE

The moment I was able to stand and walk, my doctor told me they would put me on chemotherapy. I was shocked because nobody told me this disease was cancer.

“Why the chemo?” I thought. My doctor explained to me that I needed a new immune system as the one I had was rebelling against my body and had become uncontrollable. The doctors had to kill the old immune system with the chemotherapy, then I will be able to develop a new one, like that of a new born baby.

By the time I was put on chemotherapy my body was already giving in so it seemed, within days of starting I was back again in ICU. I had lost so much weight, by then I was weighing a mere 43kg, my skin had turned black - itching constantly. I was in a place where people were dying hourly. I could see the look on my doctor’s face, even my family members began speaking in hushed voices when visiting. The thought of dying at any time kept visiting my mind. I was scared, saddened by my little boy who will never know me and my other children who will be

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motherless. I kept vigil and would fight the power of sleep because I was scared that if I closed my eyes I would never wake up again.

In the midst of all I lost my vision. I could see forms and shapes but could not tell who it was. I would lie there praying that the sun doesn’t go down on me. I began having anxiety attacks because of my fears, my high blood would not stabilise. I was then moved from the ICU to high care then to a normal ward one weekend. Then I was booked for an eye operation. When we got there the theatre was booked, only to find that my doctor was unavailable and there was no authorising signature. I was sent home in that state.

My family came and asked my husband to bring me home – to my grandmother’s house where I grew up. He agreed. In my mind I thought they were taking me there to die but I slowly recovered and regained my sight. I became stronger gradually and returned to my house while still on medication for diabetes, lupus and high blood pressure.

I looked as thin as a skeleton. People in my neighbourhood talked and speculated a lot but I was glad to be alive.

THINGS FALL APART

In 2011, out of the blue my husband began to change. He went back to his old ways sleeping out, drinking and womanising. In the middle of a confrontation he told me he will do as he pleases and I had no right to ask him anything. He said he was tired of living with a sick woman and that people were saying he was sick also because of me.

He kept on saying I talk too much and don’t even realise my life is in his hands because I depend on his medical aid for medication. I was a walking grave! I felt like I was punched in my stomach that time. I went straight to bed.

Things were spiralling out of control. I would sometimes go out with friends to ease the pain knowing I will come to an empty house.

Then he began telling me to leave because he wanted to move on with his life. I told him I was not going anywhere. We fought almost every day. I didn’t see it coming when he came home late one day in the company

JUSTICE is when we get what we deserve, MERCY is when we don’t get what we deserve but GRACE is when we get what we don’t deserve. of the police with a court order instructing me to vacate the house because I posed danger to him as I “attempted to kill him on many occasions”. I was torn apart. The police left and he asked me to pack my bags and leave, the time was 11:45 pm. I pleaded with him it was late and I had no car. He dragged me outside and locked the gates. I called the police and they accompanied me home. I was relieved my kids were away visiting his mum since it was during school holidays.

On the second week I came home, my sister left her house to be with me. She started complaining of chest pains, but I was too wrapped up in my own pain to even realise how serious she was. On August 10 she became worse and could not breathe, we rushed her to the hospital. She passed away hardly 20 minutes after we arrived there.

I can’t begin to describe what happened to me that day. I wanted to escape and go with my sister. In a month I had lost a husband, home, family unit and my only sister.

GRACE BECKONED

My husband came to assist me with the funeral and asked for forgiveness. He said voices told him to kick me out. I just asked him to give me space to mourn my sister.

I wrestled with whether or not to take him back. When my cousin and I passed my house driving from picking up my late sister’s stuff from her partner, I saw my husband leaving the house with a woman I knew he was having an affair with. I just knew I was never going back there.

He began making threats when he realised I was not coming back. In January 2012 I found out he removed me from the medical aid – my life support was switched off. I panicked. Friends advised me to go to a public hospital. I hastened to get the file from my doctor. When I called his offices I was told I owed them a lot of money since my medical aid funds were exhausted and the amount I had to pay to see him I could

not afford.

I wept and asked God why he didn’t just take me instead of my sister. I was tired of fighting endless battles. I began to prepare myself to die. I visited a church where my cousin was a member, Khaya Family Church in Katlehong. I told myself that at least if I die I will be buried in a church. The day came when Pastor Jabu Mtsweni called people forward to receive healing. I did not go forward as I was a bit sceptical and scared but then he said; “receive your healing where you are” I felt an overwhelming power flow over me. I believed I received my healing that day.

When I got home, I took what was left off my medication and threw it in the bin and I began confessing God’s healing Word day and night, I believed. It’s been almost a year now since I stopped medication. I have no symptoms of diabetes, high blood pressure or lupus and I live my life for Christ.

I now run a community project, working with young girls in the township and also do motivational talks with women at the shelter for the abused and homeless, for me, this is part of my healing journey. I have also gone back to Bible school to empower myself with the Word of God. My kids and I don’t have much materially but we have peace of mind and I am a free woman now.

I am not “that” woman anymore. I thank God for grace. I found grace waiting for me at that church. Grace stooped down and pulled me out of the pit I called life. I threw myself to the Cross and I found grace waiting for me there, without hesitation it picked me up and nursed me back to health emotionally, spiritually and physically. I am still a work of God in progress. I am grateful for grace that loved me in my ignorance, in my shortcoming and even in my rebellion.

Someone once said; “Justice is when we get what we deserve, mercy is when we don’t get what we deserve but grace is when we get what we don’t deserve.”

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By Matjatji Manyaka It was during our women’s conference in 2011 after delivering a difficult sermon when a couple of women who had attended told me how I have ministered into their lives that I realised there was no turning back on this road.

I’m often asked why I chose to be a Pastor of all things in the world, the truth is one can never become a Pastor out of choice .It’s a calling, something that was predestined even before I was conceived (Jeremiah 1:5).

Although I have been saved for a long time my walk with God was never a stable one. I would be in church one day and elsewhere the next. It was after I found myself in a hopeless place that a friend, Sandisile Sepolwane introduced me to my current place of worship, Christ Harvest Church situated in Silverton, Pretoria that I was steered into my calling. Thanks to my spiritual father, Pastor Emmanuel Kayode Fatola who is a teacher and a mentor to me.

A pastoral office is not a position of status but a sacred office that comes with accountability. I am an ambassador for Christ and my life has to reflect Him in every way.

The Bible says that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), one has to be extra careful who they associate with, especially in the area of dating. Finding someone who you are not only compatible with but share the same beliefs with can be challenging; personally the road has been bumpy as I have met a lot of wolves in sheep skin.

Sex out of marriage is also forbidden (1 Corinthians 6:18) and can be difficult for someone like me who is a divorced mother of two and has also dated after a divorce.

Most of the pain I endured from my past came from compromising in this area, so it goes without saying that this is one of my favourite topics.

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Like many sisters in the church I have also came across the so-called saved brothers who don’t see anything wrong with partaking in the forbidden fruit. Sometimes guys pretend to be understanding in the beginning and when the heat becomes too much for them their true colours emerge, this is where discernment plays a role and I consistently ask for it in prayer.

I can testify of God’s goodness in this area as for a while now I have managed to stand my ground even if it meant losing the guy.

After all I have to lead by example by living a pure life.

I am however also human and often find myself drooling over a hunk and entertaining wrong thoughts, but feeding myself with the Word of God always reminds me of who I am and fortifies my spirit so I am able to overcome these temptations. Prayer is also a weapon that consistently gives me victory.

Staying away from materials that may stimulate the urge is also very helpful. I often tell ladies that you can’t watch a passionate love making scene on TV and expect not to be aroused, after all it all starts in the mind. The Bible says bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33), so surrounding myself with like-minded people helps me not to go astray.

After fervently seeking God in prayer in terms of giving me direction in the area of marriage the man of God I serve under released a word which confirmed what the Holy Spirit had inspired in my heart .I am no longer using my strength but waiting on God to do it His way in His own time.

There is so much sacrifice that goes on behind the charismatic moves displayed on the pulpit. As a single mother who is also self-employed I have to find a balance which is not an easy task because the work of ministry is demanding .It is not everybody that will connect with what I carry within so socially there’s been a huge effect as well. I have lost a lot of friends; as a result my inner circle is mostly Pastors.

I also can’t be seen hanging out anywhere with anyone for fear of compromising my spiritual office. I have seen how people will start changing their behaviour around me once they realise I am a Pastor which always makes me laugh but also makes me aware of the big responsibility I carry on my shoulders.

The core of it all is developing a good character and maintaining holiness as this is what sustains the anointing and makes one fruitful as a Pastor.

A life of discipline is also required for Word study, endless sessions of prayer and fasting which are essential to combat the many spiritual battles faced.

Mine is a road less travelled and though it’s not always smooth, I will not trade it for anything in this world.

With all my achievements in life, ministry is the one that has given me the greatest fulfilment. I am where God desires me to be and nothing can ever beat that.

Paul says “For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21 NIV). I have taken an oath to be a servant of God for the rest of my days so I will die preaching.

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I close my eyes to dream and see my car, my house. I see my dream job, my dream family. I open my eyes and wake up to the reality that all of that I saw was exactly that – a dream!

I close my eyes to dream and see my car, my house. I see my dream job, my dream family. I open my eyes and wake up to the reality that all of that I saw was exactly that – a dream!

These are the things we dream of as we grow up from boys to men, girls to women.

But somewhere on our journey of growing up we encounter situations, some of these situations are self-afflicted and some are just a part of life we can’t ignore. Whatever the situation is we tend to let our dreams fade into an unreachable space inside our own self and what was once a dream is just a memory of what could have been.

One thing we seem to forget about a dream is that a dream carries hope and with hope we can look forward to tomorrow with a smile and more ambition that things will look up and I will reach my dream. They say the grave yard is the richest place on earth and it’s not because of the caskets that have been bought but the ideas and dreams that left the earth without them being put into use.

I look at my life and all the dreams I have and my heart bleeds, so much energy put in and no results, so much doubt and uncertainty that I sometimes go a day, a month of not even thinking of my dreams because they seem so distant.

How does one reignite a dream and how

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does one reach a dream? Successful people tell you not to give up – always push, work harder, but what happens after all that has been done and still no way forward?

My Pastor sent me a message years back telling me that I shouldn’t give up on my dreams, I even have a Bible marker stating I shouldn’t give up.

We all draw our inspiration from something or someone. A dream is just not a dream, it is a gift embodied in one’s DNA from birth.

Society can help neuter a dream or worse destroy a dream. We need to find our ground as humans, as individuals and as dreamers. I believe when the Bible states in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you….”, that’s my ground, that’s where my feet are rooted.

The reason I wrote this article is that we all have dreams and on our way to reaching our dreams we will face challenges and some of those challenges will slow you down, but only you can allow yourself to be held down and let go of your dream. God gave you a life; he gave you a dream so life itself can’t take anything from you. Seek yourself from the source that created you, that formed and gave you a life and reach your dream.

By Michael Mohloiwa

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by Keabetswe Modimogale If you want to achieve healthy, vibrant and clear skin, you need to protect it and provide your body with the substances it needs. Inasmuch as you cannot drive your car without petrol, you cannot have clear healthy skin without providing the body with the essential nutrients it needs. What we put into our mouths affects how our body functions, whether the food we consume is good or bad for us, it will affect the state of our hormones, insulin and overall.

Some of the fundamental nutritional requirements needed to keep skin looking healthy include:

WATER

Our bodies are made up of 60 -70% water.

Dehydration can affect the appearance of skin, causing it to lose plumpness, become itchy, cause dry cracks, cause roughness and/or flake or bleed. Dehydration can also be a condition caused by outside factors; weather and skin products have the potential to dry or dehydrates skin.

YOGHURT

The protein you get from eating dairy helps skin become firmer, so it is more resistant to lines. Eat a single serving daily to make your complexion smoother.

DARK CHOCOLATE

Cocoa hydrates your skin, making it firmer and supple. Dark chocolate contains high levels of flavonoids, a potent type of antioxidant. For maximum flavonoid content, eat chocolate that is at least 70% cocoa. A couple of squares a day should be enough to improve luminosity. When applied topically, the caffeine in chocolate may temporarily reduce skin puffiness.

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POMEGRANATES

They are packed with polyphenol antioxidants. Polyphenols fight free radicals and regulate skin’s blood flow, giving it rosiness. One pomegranate or a few glasses of juice daily should do the trick. When applied to skin the fruits antioxidants help smooth lines and moisturise, thus leading to the reduction of wrinkles.

WALNUTS

Walnuts contain omega-3 essential fatty acids, which can improve skin’s elasticity.

The nuts are also loaded with copper, a mineral that boosts collagen production.

Snack on a handful of walnuts each day to improve your complexion’s texture, and slough tough calluses. The ground walnut acts as an exfoliant.

KIDNEY BEANS

They are high in zinc, and studies indicate a correlation between blemishes and low zinc levels. That may be because of zinc’s healing properties. Have a handful serving of kidney beans to help you stay in the clear.

In addition, studies show topical zinc to be as effective against acne as antibiotics are.

GREEN TEA

Green tea is rich in antioxidants that reduce inflammation and protect cell membranes.

It has been proven to reduce the damage of sunburns and overexposure to ultraviolet light, which in turn reduces the risk of skin cancer. Green tea is also high in polyphenols - compounds that eliminate cancer-causing free radicals.

SALMON

Salmon along with other fatty fish, walnuts and flaxseed - is high in healthy fatty acids that are key for achieving healthy skin.

Essential fatty acids such as omega-3s help keep cell membranes healthy by keeping out harmful substances as well as allowing nutrients to enter cells and exit with waste products. Omega-3s also reduce the body’s production of inflammatory agents that can damage the skin. Increasing consumption of omega-3 fatty acid-rich foods such as salmon will help keep the skin supple and youthful. Salmon is also rich in protein, potassium, selenium and vitamin B12.

BLUEBERRIES

Blueberries are considered by many experts to be the highest food source of antioxidants, which target free radicals that can wreak havoc on skin cells. The antioxidants and phytochemicals (plant sources of nutrition) in blueberries neutralize DNA-damaging free radicals, reducing cell damage. When skin cells are protected from damage and disintegration, the skin looks younger for longer. Blueberries are also an excellent source of soluble and insoluble fiber, vitamin C, manganese, vitamin E and riboflavin.

CARROTS

Carrots are an excellent source of vitamin A, which is a required nutrient for healthy skin.

They also contain high levels of antioxidants, which prevent free radical damage of skin cells. Vitamin A is required for developing and maintaining skin cells, and a deficiency of the vitamin can cause dry skin. Carrots are also a superior source of fiber, biotin, vitamins K, C and B6, potassium and thiamine.

Consuming therapeutic quantities of green tea, salmon, blueberries, carrots, water, avocado, etc. we should avoid certain foods that trigger bad skin reactions. Such ingredients include sugar, white flour, saturated fats and fried foods, which are especially bad for the skin, since they can trap oil and bacteria beneath the skin, causing acne and other skin ailments.

The skin is considered the outside indicator of inside health, and putting expensive creams, lotions and treatments on the outside of the skin can’t alleviate problems that stem from inner nutritional deficiencies.

Consuming the right foods and avoiding the wrong ones can reveal beautiful, youthfullooking skin without the high price tag of expensive cosmetics.

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ALLAN GRAY Company profile

WE ARE AFRICA’S LARGEST PRIVATELY OWNED INVESTMENT MANAGEMENT COMPANY Investing on behalf of clients since 1974, Allan Gray has grown from a small sole proprietorship to become the largest privately owned asset manager in Africa. We have done this by retaining our long-term orientation, our investment philosophy, and by understanding that our success can only be achieved through the success of our clients.

OUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON HOW WELL WE HELP INVESTORS ACHIEVE THEIR INVESTMENT OBJECTIVES Our purpose is to help investors build wealth over the long term and we seek to earn the trust of our clients by providing superior long-term investment performance, outstanding client service and holding ourselves to the highest ethical standards.

WE OFFER OUR SERVICES TO INDIVIDUAL INVESTORS AND INSTITUTIONS Our clients include individuals, retirement funds, insurers, trusts, companies and foundations. We do not provide financial advice. However, we provide a range of services to assist independent financial advisers whose clients entrust their money to us.

OUR INVESTMENT PHILOSOPHY IS VALUATION ORIENTATED Our research efforts are focused on identifying good quality assets that are priced at below intrinsic value. We look to buy shares that are trading at a ‘margin of safety’ discount to their intrinsic value and would look to sell shares once they trade at or above intrinsic value. We take a four-year view to investing in shares and we are fully prepared to wait for the market to see through short-term pessimism.

WE ARE AN INTEGRATED INVESTMENT COMPANY We have a team of professionals performing investment management and research, trading, compliance, portfolio accounting, client service and investor administration within the same group.

OUR HEADQUARTERS ARE IN CAPE TOWN, BUT WE HAVE A PRESENCE IN SEVERAL AFRICAN COUNTRIES We have offices in Cape Town, Johannesburg, Pretoria and Durban within South Africa. Outside of South Africa, we are in Windhoek, Namibia; Gaborone, Botswana; and Lagos, Nigeria.

WE ARE ASSOCIATED INTERNATIONALLY WITH THE ORBIS GROUP AND ALLAN GRAY AUSTRALIA We share the same investment approach, commitment to long-term wealth creation and ethos. We also share global investment ideas and advice on and management of certain portfolios. Orbis is a global asset manager based in Bermuda with offices around the world.

Allan Gray Proprietary Limited is an authorised financial services provider.

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