WOMEN'S FRONTLINE
MAGAZINE
AUGUST 2017
ON THE COVER
ONIKA SHIRLEY
FAITH Â CONFIDENCE PROCRASTINATION 'THE DAY THE LORD SET ME FREE FROM MY MARRIAGE
OH MY GOSH. I AM PREGNANT!
B E
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T H
WOMEN'S FRONT C E L E B R A T I N G
T H
WWW.WOMENSFRONT
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C O V E R
TLINE MAGAZINE E
S P I R I T
W I T H I N
TLINEMAGAZINE.COM
From the Editor
...Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom...
Welcome...
S T A R T I N G a
Y O U R
step-by-step
...to the August edition of Women's Frontline Magazine. Its great to be back with another issue after taking a summer break in July.
guide
to
B U S I N E S S
setting
up
of Jesus Christ.
This month, I am honored to introduce Onika Shirley who is gracing our front cover this month. Onika. You can read I am are thrilled to her interview on receive our new page 20 where she readers, subscribers shares her story of and face book friends faith, confidence and that have joined us. procrastination. The aim is to keep on featuring women There are more who are working on inspiring stories, so the Frontlines to make sure that you advance the gospel get your own hard
shop
copy and enjoy reading. I hope that you are celebrating the summer and making memories as you go along. Remember, that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is
FREEDOM. Peace!
Hildah
For the director of music. A psalm of David. The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
ON THE COVER
20
INTERVIEW ONIKA SHIRLEY
TABLE OF CONTENTS 01
10
A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR TRAVELING
Contributing Writers
travel is the movement of people between relatively distant geographical locations
12 05
The ABC's T H E E of X P L OLife RATION OF JON KENDRICK
14 12
34
exploration is the act of searching for the purpose of discovery of information or resources.
Retreat
HELPFUL FOREST TRAVELING TIPS
The day the Lord set me free from my marriage
a forest is a large area dominated by trees. Hundreds of more precise definitions of forest .
TABLE OF CONTENTS
03 Foreword
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
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05 Transforming the urban landscape
Confidently 08 Youth Art Connection walking into 12 LUNA x GUM BTS your future
08
12
14
14 How Social Media Controls the Media
42
18 The World's Best DIY Skate Parks
5 Lies tthat kept 23 The Basics with James Riley
me31inArtistan abusive of the Month: Kenkyusha Yoko marriage
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23
43 75 Years of Street Art
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48 Meet the Artists of POW! WOW! Arts Festival, Hawaii in "Heavy Dreamers"
The unveiling Walls of50aMLAmask 54 Raphael Castro's Cityscape Art
56
Rhema 101:7
50
62 66
oh my gosh! I'm pregnant with 69 purpose
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OUR TEAM OF WRITERS Alice Mills Louise Des Bordes Joy Jallah Mechelle Stephens Mary Eisenacher Kayl May Shavonne Andrews WWW.WOMENSFRONTLINEMAGAZINE.COM
Contributing writers
A member from a visiting church Life will stands up sometimes n a lot of and saysdemands a little we dance Baptist churches or a lot, maybe a there is a type of small when there is no call and dissertation or a music response that mini sermon, but some of you it usuallyLife ends sometimes have probably with answers with observed. “We are happy aches to be part of this It goes like this.. celebration on Life sometimes during the today.” welcome on the Applauds our program often a …Well, here’s accomplishments beautiful mother LIFE…it is the will stand up dawning of a new our burdens Bears and extend the day and it has welcome; her Claps at our just welcomed eloquent words you to join the celebrations either written or celebration…the spoken from Dances at our CELEBRATION memory often OF LIFE…what is doorsteps ends with your response to “You are ife sometimes life? After you’ve welcome, said all you had demands we dance welcome, to say will it end welcome.” there is no with “I’mwhen just happy tomusic be part Thus the of this invitation for a Life celebration on sometimes response.
I
THE
ABC'S OF
LIFE
BY MECHELLE STEPHENS
answers with aches
Life
sometimes
Applauds our accomplishments Bears our burdens Claps at our celebrations Dances at our doorsteps Examines our egos Forgives our failures Graciously grants us grace Hosts our pity parties Inspires/ignites our imagination Judges our thoughts Keeps our secrets Likes our Facebook posts/status Manifests miracles while we marvel Nominates you for the part “The best you…” Operates in inoperable circumstances Prevents our pitfalls Qualifies the unqualified Rejoices in our regeneration
Shares our success Troubleshoots our malfunctions/Tames our tempers Unties our tangle ups Validates our victories Winks at our wisdom..it does so because LIFE’S wisdom is light years beyond ours… Xeroxes our geneology Yodels for the return of our fleeting courage Zzzzz (zones out), falls asleep when we fail to participate in it for long periods of time Life happens, life moves, life goes, life returns, life slows down, life speeds up… © Mechelle Stephens 12/20/13 Someone once said.. “Life goes on perhaps redefined, reoriented, and redirected.”
BY MARY EISENACHER
RETREAT
T
here are many reasons to RETREAT.
Action will be required on your part. There is a tug of war concerning your life. You will find yourself at the end of the rope many times. There will be those people on the opposite end who will debate and war against your calling.
The demands of everyday life are too numerous to mention. One thing for sure, you must learn to prioritize in order to fulfill the Godgiven call on your life. Also, if you allow it, the enemy of
your soul will try to pull on the other end of the rope (at war with Other people in your life will tell you what should be important and you) until you fall face down into how to order your time. Some may the mud.
be right, and some may be wrong.
And, you will find that there are times when you war against yourself regarding the right and the wrong choices being presented to you. Each of these wars could cause rope burns, sore muscles, and downright out-of- balance scenarios. Keep in mind, however, that there are times that you will need to put the rope down and walk away in order to bring God glory. The worst case of tug of war is to never invite God to pick up the other end of the rope. Remember Jacob, and how he wrestled with God? Please do not throw the rope down and walk away from God. Too many people have done that with great regret. State your case, come into agreement with God’s will for your life, and come together with Him to receive instruction and love. No more warring.
So many people have discovered that they had been prepared for the next step of their journey so perfectly that they never could have planned it. However, it may be a dramatically different outcome than their minds could have conceived. Guided by the Holy Spirit - but in need of course corrections - is the usual fare when you are facing those seasons of change. Decision time comes eventually. It may not At some point in time, be without cost or you have got to put discomfort. But, the everything aside to end result will be RETREAT and meet peace and grace over with God. It is time to your life. make an appointment and clear your agenda. What do you suppose God is up to in your You must pick a safe life? Could He possibly place where you will have something not be interrupted. greater or better? Your main goal will be to listen and seek the heart of God, for He has the best plan for your life.
WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO GET YOU THERE? A magazine is a publication, usually a periodical publication, which is Well, He has all the answers. The answers printed or electronically published (sometimes referred to as an online can be found read The of magazine). Magazinesas are you generally published on a Word regular schedule and contain a variety petitions of content. They are financed God, practice of generally prayer for by advertising, by a purchase price, by prepaid subscriptions, or a answers, and listen during prayer . . . it combination of the three. will net what you are looking for! At its root, the word "magazine" refers to a collection or storage location. In the case of written publication, it is a collection of written Put nature in the mix with a walk, articles. This explains why magazine publications share thehike, word rootor with gunpowder magazines, artillery magazines, magazines, mini vacation. Getting out offirearms the house and, in French, retail stores such as department stores. By definition, and your usual routine will help you focus a magazine paginates with each issue starting at page three, with the onstandard God’s sizingwill being for 8 3/8 your × 10 7/8 life. inches. However, in the technical sense a journal has continuous pagination throughout a volume. Thus Business Week, which starts each issue anew with page one,
You can expect to be is a magazine, but Journaland of Business prompted tothepray Communication, which starts each volume declare new and with the winter issue and continues the wonderful things. same sequence of pagination He throughout the coterminous year, is a journal. Some will bring you out of the professional or trade publications are also negative and into the peer-reviewed, an example being the Journal of Accountancy. Academic orof adventurous positive professional publications that are not His Kingdom.
under His grace, with by a purchase price, by prepaid accomplishments for subscriptions, or a combination of the the Kingdom of God three. At its root, the word "magazine" here referson to a Earth. collection or storage location. In the case writtenyou publication, Oh my, I ofpray areit is a collection of written articles. This explains getting excited! why magazine publications share the word
root with gunpowder magazines, artillery magazines, firearms magazines, and, in There will be times French, retail stores such as department peer-reviewed are generally professional willa want stores. God By definition, magazine to magazines. That a publication calls itself a when paginates with each issuewant starting to at page journal does make it for a journal in the know There is not much you what you three, with the standard sizing being 8 technical sense; The Wall Street Journal is toactually do. Ia newspaper. remember an do3/8for Him. × 10 7/8 inches. However, in the A magazine is a older mentor thathasduring technicalabout sense a journal continuous publication, usually a who periodicalsaid publication, Think pagination throughout a volume. Thus whichwhen is printedshe or electronically published RETREAT. that prayed Business Week, which starts each issue (sometimes referred to as an online formagazine). God to useare her, she What would you like to anew with page one is a magazine, but the Magazines generally Journal of Businessthat Communication, published a regularand schedule and got veryonbusy life accomplish wouldwhich starts each volume with the winter issue contain a variety of content. They are was very exciting! Who yield lasting results? and continues the same sequence. generally financed by advertising
would not want life to be more carefree and
RETREAT...
What have you tried to do that you perceived was a failure? How can God help you get on the right path? I had a few things in the beginning of my quest for God that I wanted to do for Him. One was to understand His Word better and know how to pray. Another was to be able to visit people who were sick and dying to bring the gospel to them (like my mother and grandmother did.) He answered those questions for me, by taking me out to Spiritfilled ministry gatherings, rearranging my life and church family, giving me the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and putting new mentors in my life. It was quite a whirlwind – and not for the faint of heart. It came with a price of leaving friends, but He made up for it with new ones who were operating in the very gifts that I was asking to obtain. I started
hearing about meetings where the Holy Spirit was active in the services. I ventured out alone to visit, observe, and experience. I began to get built up and encouraged that there was more to be enjoyed than what I ever thought or imagined. I got filled with the Spirit.
Suddenly, I could understand The Word, talk about Jesus, and pray in a new and exciting way. (I RETREATED often in my own home, with a “Do not disturb” note on the door for my family.) At one of the Spirit-evident meetings, I met two older women who invited me to their Bible study. They invited me along to visit their sick and dying friends. I saw how they operated – with specific faith-filled prayers, singing, and prophesying. And, they included me!
Retreat..
got ordained . . . and that put me on a new path. So much has How glorious a time I had. (It made happened after that, I will not go into any more. up for the time as a young girl when I visited my half-brother when he was dying of cancer and I I want to encourage you to go on had nothing to say about the Lord RETREAT. This is my story, and I am that he needed to hear. I had lived sure God has something equally exciting for you to do for the with shame for years. Kingdom. Your story is different, because He needs His people in all But, I had not been equipped by the walks of life – strategically placed church.) The new church we were attending was allowing all the gifts to for His glory. On a regular basis, I enjoy ministering to many people be displayed and was moving in allwho have a call on their life that out revival. they want to have fulfilled. I received a lot of deliverance at the altar, most especially regarding All different! All magnificent! fear that had been placed in me regarding evangelism dangers. Our God is multi-faced and so are And, I was reading about His people! So . . . what are you deliverance waiting for? Make an appointment and meeting others who operated with God and carve out the time for in the gift. fellowship with Him. GO ON RETREAT! You deserve it! No one It was a most exciting time. else can fulfill your divine calling! Eventually, after fasting, I received the call to be a minister. I
HE PREPARES A TABLE FOR ME....
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
I
grandmother to baby Aubrey.
She is a motivating and am honoured to be able to empowering Global Confidence share this exclusive interview with and Procrastination Coach and our cover lady, Onika Shirley. Speaker, singer, author, and she is the Appointed Coordinator of the She is the founder of Action Godhead Prayer Ministry ''Jesus Speaks Volume, Inc. and an Woman'' for the state of Arkansas. inspiration to many. She is also a proud mother, adoptive mother, foster parent, and new
I N T E R V I E W W I T H O N I K A S H I R L E Y
Onika Shirley is an accomplished professional who leads from a position in senior management in manufacturing. The 4-year former President of the Greater Memphis chapter of the National Association of Professional Women authored, Women We Must Stand Strong.
Womensfrontline
Onika, welcome and thank you for doing this interview. I am so excited to be able to share you with our readers. Please tell us a little bit more about yourself.
ONIKA
I am the collaborating author in HerPrayers, Purpose Shakers '' Women Who Rise To The Call of Purpose'' , Affirmation and Antidotes that Remind Me, Tying the Knots between Ministry and the Marketplace, and Women in Ministry Speak, '' Encouragement for the Chosen''. I was sought out by the Phillips County Community College to instruct several courses in manufacturing. Of all of my achievements, I am most proud of my profound faith in Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. I have proved my selfless dedication to helping others by serving as a Foster Parent as well as an adoptive parent and the Founder and International Director of ASL Foundation India and Action Speaks Orphanage Home-India. I have not reached this level of success without having to overcome much adversity. My tragedies and adversities have given me strength, motivation, and the resiliency to become the Life Clarity and Action Coach that I am today.
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
Today, I blog about being relevant and other experiences at the Huffington Post, Woman Boss magazine, and for Action Speaks Volume.
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE Faith, Confidence, and the lack of procrastination will get us closer to the ultimate plan of the creator.
faith confidence procrastination
I
chose these three words as my theme for the magazine because I am a woman of great faith and I often refer to myself as a person with stupid, crazy, ridiculous faith. I know that it is impossible for us to please the creator without faith and we MUST know that the reason for our being is not for us but for Him. When we have faith in God it gives us the confidence that we need to do the work that He wants done and to be the person He has created us to be. When we are confident we know the value we bring and we take action in a way that conveys that to those in which we are called to serve. As I see procrastination, effort is time and if we are procrastinators we are failing to do the work that we were created to do in the time in which we were allotted to do it. It's not good to have great intentions because action speaks volume. Faith, Confidence, and the lack of procrastination will get us closer to the ultimate plan of the creator.
Womensfrontline Please tell us about your background (where you are from, your family, and their influence in becoming you).
O
NIKA
I was born and raised in the state of Arkansas. She is the proud mother of 2 biological daughter and twin adoptive sons. My children has always been my way. I wanted them to experience things I didn’t experience growing up a child and I wanted to be a good role Chesterfield Inn, 20th Pinesville, West Chesterfield, NH 01543
Womensfrontline How would describe you?
O
NIKA I am a very determined, independent, and hardworking woman. I like to work for what I want and don’t have handouts and pity.
Womensfrontline What is your testimony?
purpose. He has given me the directions, he allowed the life experiences, and he gave me a spirit of power, strength and equipped me with a sound mind.
I had to let go and let God because there’s no peace or joy in a situation that God’s grace is no NIKA longer a part of. Physical and mental abuse Everything I experienced in my exposed my purpose. I am a past has served a purpose. My survivor of sexual abuse and was struggles and my survival and my saved by the Grace of God from tragedies and my ability to conquer two life changing car accidents. My the odds against me brought me struggles, my story and my here. I am here to serve others. I emotional thinking revealed to me am a servant. my purpose. God gives us time to heal and in The woman I am today, reveals being healed personally, I am free that I am purpose driven no matter to share my experiences with you. what! I knew with the call on my life that I will show you that God is I will be challenged. I have learned powerful and not emotional. God that just because purpose is really is concerned about his discovered and you are committed people. Through him caring for to living within your purpose, it me, I discovered that my power does not exonerate us from and purpose is in front of me and adversities of this world. not behind me.
O
In fact, determined people attract more challenges and opposition than we repel, the more purposeful we appear to be. Through my own hurts, mistakes and tragedies I have decided to wake up purpose in others. God told me that this life is not my own and that I was created with a
I share my experiences just to encourage and inspire you and to show you that life can go on after you have been hurt or when you have experienced failure and tragedies.
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
ONIKA SHIRLEY W H A T H A S K E P T G R O U N D E D ?
O
Y O U
NIKA The love of God has kept me grounded and focused. I also knew without Him that I was nothing and I didn’t have to depend on anybody except him. He has opened doors and made ways for me that others told me were impossible, but God.
Womensfrontline What has kept you grounded and focused?
dreams out of their head and into their life.
Womensfrontline
O
NIKA The love of God has kept me grounded and focused. I also knew without Him that I was nothing and I didn’t have to depend on anybody except him. He has opened doors and made ways for me that others told me were impossible, but God.
Womensfrontline What is your ministry and how have you kept yourself afloat?
O
NIKA My ministry is a ministry of help. I help people see and understand who God really is and I help people take action, stop procrastinating and to take their
Do you believe that Christian women today are making a positive impact in society?
O
NIKA Yes absolutely, we are raised up for a times such as this. Christian women are impacting society today by serving in unselfish ways because we are determined to see things changed in society and we long to have some influence in turning millions to Jesus Christ. We have power and we have hope. We are making positive impacts because we are made in the image of God and God has not been destroyed.
Womensfrontline If you had minutes to address the world, what would be the core of your message?
O
NIKA If I had 5 minutes to address the world, my core message will be for you to pursue the calling that God has placed on your heart. To be obedient to your purpose and to the will of God because if God called you to it He will see you through it. He will equip you with everything you need. We are here for a purpose and doing everything else other than what you were created for will be unpleasing to God. Live a purpose fill and focus life.
Womensfrontline Is having vision important?
O
NIKA Yes, where there’s no vision the people will perish. Vision is vital to our survival. When wedon’t have a vison we don’t have an area of focus.
Womensfrontline Where do you see yourself in five yrs?
O
NIKA In 5 years, I see myself working full time for the Lord and off my 8 to 5 in Corporate America, turning millions to Christ and working as a servant. I will be preaching the gospel, protecting children, helping the poor, and building unshakable confidence and stop procrastination in women all over the world.
MY CORE MESSAGE WILL BE FOR YOU TO PURSUE THE CALLING THAT GOD HAS PLACED ON YOUR HEART
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
RELAX IT'S MASK DAY
#MASKDAY
S
THE DAY THE LORD SET ME FREE FROM MY MARRIAGE
ome might think that title is scandalous. I know that my own fear of divorce kept me from escaping a narcissistic abuser for fourteen years.
Now, seventeen years out from that disaster, my regrets center around not leaving far earlier. I lived in a lot of denial for years.
One has to cultivate denial in order to survive, much less stay, in a marriage that was as abusive as mine. And just how abusive it was did not fully dawn on me until I disclosed, ten years later, details of the torment to my counselor. The look of horror and grief on her face showed me just how far from normal my first marriage had strayed.
BY ALICE MILLS
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
THE DAY THE LORD SAVED ME FROM MY MARRIAGE..
FUSCE NEC LACUS VITAE LIBERO AUCTOR SCELERISQUE VITAE DAPIBUS FELIS. QUISQUE BLANDIT my little prayer closet.ACCUMSAN I could feel MASSA. me PROIN physically the Lord releasing PORTTITOR Sedmy cursus cursus from fear.
I HAD FLED A COUPLE OF TIMES...
I
had fled a couple of times before with my daughters. Each time he would go through an elaborate courtship to get me back.
fermentum
However, the Lord really strengthened me through that time of prayer. All the spiritual books I read were mentors.
Things would be barely tolerable for a month or two and then the The more I was freed on the inside moods and the abuse would creep from my fear of John and the more back in. I depended on the Lord for my emotional needs, the stronger I It was late March of 2000 and I became. John could see the came home from work to see that difference, and the change only my ex had thrown away all of my made his behavior worse. seedlings I was nurturing until I could plant them after the last I fully believe he was frost. Every single one was gone. resisting the conviction of At that moment, the Lord said as the Holy Spirit. When I clearly as I have ever heard Him in caught him burning his my spirit,
“Everything you plant, he will uproot.” A bit shocked, I ran upstairs to
Bible in the trash bin, I knew that he was quickly reaching a point of no return.
the day the Lord set me free from my marriage
Women's Frontline Magazine
Quoted references can also be helpful. References to people The shame issue can also be made remained. through the written “Lord,” “If I accountsI said, of divorce him, then I will interviews and have failed. I will be debates confirming divorced.” the factuality of the writer’s information and the reliability of his source.
“John 8:11,” the Lord said to me. I didn’t know what verse that was, so I opened my Bible. It read, “And neither do I condemn you.” That verse is the end of the story woman who was going to be stoned for adultery. Honestly, I have never been embarrassed since about being divorced. There are some who judge me, but the Lord freed me from any sense of shame about it. That alone is a miracle because for a long time, I feared divorce more than I feared God or my own destruction. One word from the Lord toppled what was really an idol.
Then I worried about what would happen to John. Even though I did not understand the nature of mental illness at the time, I knew that he was somehow very sick in his mind and spirit. And soul ties are strong after fourteen years of marriage.
home in Kentucky, we sat around the table and my oldest and I looked at each other.
We knew what the other was thinking. We didn’t have to lie anymore to survive. We didn’t have to live in fear. Suddenly possibilities opened up. The whole I understood at that moment as world seemed new. And this time, well, that the Lord wanted me to my father, who had spent time have nothing to do with John or his researching domestic violence, extremely wealthy father with came out. whom he was enmeshed. He stayed until he knew I would not go back. That blessing alone gave Immediately on the me the strength to face the rest of screen of my mind, the my family.
words, “2 Titus 3:5” appeared. I turned to I lived as a single mom for nearly that verse and all I could five years before I remarried. Of see were the words, “Let course, difficulties emerged. these men go.''
However, the Lord was so faithful to At that moment, I resolved to leave. meet my needs. I found that He is close to the widow (or the divorce’). I left within the week. The I didn’t mourn the marriage at all. difference this time was I did not flee in fear. I left under the My mourning came during the direction and blessing of the Holy marriage, as my hopes for love and Spirit. And this time John did not bonding within that relationship come after me. died. At the time, I worked at a small Baptist university. They kindly gifted me with a check for $200. I took out a credit card, and together, my four daughters and I put together a modest house that for the first time in fourteen years, felt like a home. Our first night in our little rented
That first night, though, the Lord turned my attention to the book of Joel. “I will repay you,” He said to me, “I will repay you for the years the locust has eaten.” And praise God. He has done that and more.
YOUTH SECTION:
CONFIDENTLY WALKING INTO YOUR FUTURE This is for teens who are constantly holding themselves back from a bright future. So many people have amazing gifts and talents, but they let fear and low self-esteem talk them out of pursuing those things. You can do anything with God’s strength backing you, but it’s up to you to try.
BY CHANTE WHISONANT
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
Faith To overcome your fears, you need to first have faith in what God says. Most of the time we are so fearful of pursuing our ambitions is because we have no trust in the Lord.
are supposed to start! Then we ask ourselves is all the work worth it, can I really accomplish this? Trust me, I certainly understand the doubts and chaos swimming in your mind. Sometimes I still ask myself the same questions.
I know God didn’t make a mistake. I know what I’m called to do, but how? How will I accomplish this work If we would just have faith that has been set out for in what the Lord says, me to do? everything we be much easier. I know a lot of How will I successfully youth have so many pursue these dreams that dreams and aspirations in go far beyond mind, but we feel my current living overwhelmed because of situation? our age. Have faith in our father. If We tell ourselves it’s God has called you to do impossible to do something, he knows you something so great, who can do it. would listen to a kid? We say we must have heard God wrong because we don’t even know where we
BY CHANTE WHISONANT If
he has given you these gifts and talents, don’t be afraid, use them! It may seem impossible right now, but if you just have a little patience, and a little faith, you’ll see God won’t let you down.
Why? Lack of confidence. You need to be confident in your God-given ability.
Yes, there may be people who have done what you’re doing longer. Yes, there’s gonna be If you have goals in mind, go people who seem like they’re after them. Forget about your age sooooo much better than you. and forget about your situation, God will supply your every need But guess what? so you can pursue that big future he has for you. They’re not you. You have something special that needs to Our problem is we want it right be shared with the world. away, and when we don’t get it What you do isn’t silly. It isn’t immediately, or things become horrible or useless. It’s needed. too hard, we lose faith in the Never give up because you’re not Lord. Remember the Lord always like someone else. You’re not does things in perfect timing, supposed to be them. God and we usually don’t see why it gave us our gifts for a reason. If was perfect until it happens. you need to sharpen it, sharpen it!
CONFIDENCE Once you put your faith in God, the next step is confidence. See, God will put us in the right situation, give us the right tools and we still won’t pursue our dreams.
If it needs to be polished, polish it! But you can never go anywhere if you have no confidence in yourself. I don’t care if you’re not where you want to be yet, in time you’ll get there. Right now, have confidence in yourself and keep
Procrastination
the fear of failure, ignore the pressure from peers to put it on The last step to walking in your the shelve, and just do it. future is stop dragging things out! Just when we finally got Procrastinating your future will everything together, we stop only hurt you. So, sit down, ourselves by procrastinating. As figure out why you’re teenagers, we want to hang out procrastinating and work with our friends, spend time through it. You can accomplish with our boyfriends so much if you give yourself the or girlfriends and we keep chance to do so. pushing what we need to do back. If you want a better life, act like it. If you want to be something Sometimes we feel so great, then be it! It’s totally overwhelmed or lazy we will possible. prolong what needs to get done. Learn to just do it and get it over But only if you push yourself. with. If you continue to You can do anything you set procrastinate things you’ll get your mind too, but you’re gonna used to doing so and it will start have to stop playing to become a habit. around. Laziness and procrastination is NOT a good habit. Yeah you may wanna do other things. Yeah you may be scared to do it, but dragging out a task will never make things better. Push back
5 LIES
THAT KEPT ME IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE BY ALICE MILLS
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
S
taying in a relationship with a narcissist takes a lot of commitment. After all, the benefits of the relationship are fleeting at best, while the daily slog of being someone’s personal slave is exhausting. I have opened up in this blog because I feel led by the Lord to tell my story as a way of owning it. And one of the most difficult
things about admitting to my past is that I am generally perceived as a competent, even gifted, woman. People ask, without meaning to hurt me, “How did you get trapped in such a circumstance?” challenge, otherwise? But the self deception necessary in order to stay runs deep. And narcissists can be charming and seductive. No one would stay at all if there weren’t some benefits. But as time passes and life gradually loses all color, victims have to develop specific strategies in order to stay.
LIE NR. 1
#1 HE IS JUST IMMATURE
Lie 1: He
is just immature. Everyone in the family participates in this lie. “He will grow up. He is just young,” his parents, my parents, our friends and I would assert. The benefit to this lie is that it is true. After all, a narcissist is stuck at the emotional age of a two year old. The lie is in the belief that time will cure narcissism. Perhaps for a few? After all, I don’t claim to know all narcissists.
LIE NR.2
I CAN HANDLE THE ABUSE
Lie 2: I
can handle the abuse. The wrongheadedness of this lie should be self evident. We were never meant to handle abuse. We were meant for a life lived in love and fruitfulness. And no one can handle abuse indefinitely. It will catch up with you. Your body will start to give out. Your heart will forget joy. Your mind will live in a state of fog in order to keep you from seeing what is there. I was sick for years. Immediately after I left, my health was
LIE NR.3
KIDS ARE RESILIENT
Lie 3:
happy is their job, and that they are not worthy of love.
Those are formulas for a miserable adulthood, and yet, keeping them are resilient. No, they are in that situation made me a party not. If they were, psychologists to it. If nothing else, do not fool would go out of business. yourself that somehow you can Childhood trauma surfaces later shield them from the effects of and is devastating. Children do not your partner’s narcissism. No one have the self awareness or power else has and you and you can't to assert their pain and fear in either. abusive circumstances. Instead they learn that they are powerless, that making mommy or daddy
Kids
LIE NR.4
I CAN LOVE AND PRAY HIM/HER OUT OF IT
from narcissistic abuse, but only because I invited Him too. The fact that I used to pray that God would make me the kind of wife John needed is an indication of can love and pray him/her out how twisted my reasoning had of it. I believe in prayer. Check out become. my blog. I have had amazing answers to prayer. But God I worked, kept the house clean, doesn’t make anyone do and handled all the care for the anything. This is free will. You can children. What he did all day pray for decades for a person, but locked in his little office, God only ultimately, the decision to change knows. Narcissists do not feel is theirs alone. I have come to your love and do not recognize believe that praying obsessively your sacrifices. They are for someone to change amounts merciless gods and do not to little more than a form of deserve your worship. idolatry.
Lie 4: I
God changed me and freed me
LIE NR.5
HIS BEHAVIOR IS SOMEHOW MY FAULT.
Lie 5: His
behavior is somehow my fault. One day I was having my habitual prayer time. I spent a lot of time practicing forgiveness and would sit at the feet of Jesus letting Him love me as a way to experience the love I had missed for fourteen years. One day I found myself crying
and saying to the Lord , “You saw what he did! You saw what he did to me!” The Lord’s presence filled the room and He said, “In no way do I hold you responsible for any of John’s actions.” Until that moment, I did not realize how deeply I had taken responsibility for his actions. The only actions for which any of us are responsible are our own.
If
you recognize these lies you tell yourself in order to keep yourself going, it might be time to reconsider some things. Truth can be so painful. I have been there, on my own with four little girls, two thousand miles from my family. But God led me out of the narcissistic wilderness, and I am so grateful. I wake up, and I no longer wonder if my husband is going to have a good day or a bad day. I swept up all the eggshells from the floor and can say what I mean without fearing a violent response. I live a normal life, and so do my daughters. I even plan for the future, knowing that I have one. So I guess the one thing I learned is that the Red Sea parts for us all, if God is the one leading us out.
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE
Just like having an untrained eye, living with someone who is coping with a mental illness is scary to say the least.
BY KAYL MAY
L
ife, just living it, can be as difficult as transporting oneself from a plane of surface and reaching towards a plateau. Just like having an untrained eye, living with someone who is coping with a mental illness is scary to say the least.
According to National Alliance on Mental Illness, 43.8 million adults experience mental illness in a given year. 1.1% which means 1 in 100 (2.4 million). You can live with schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses, but when the illness is left untreated it can be traumatic for both the individual and their families even sometimes fatal.
This is the focal point of us writing our book, “The Unveiling Of A Mask”. A discussion is a MUST in society today. We need to become comfortable talking to each other about mental illness, so that others can speak freely about their conditions. Our book examines the love found in two individuals where we allowed love to conquer all. It allows you to journey with us as we decide to build a family in that love while dealing with mental illness. It sequences us coping and managing against difficult times while braving an “everything is okay” smile just for
the sanity of surviving.
Triumph Over Life’s Struggles
This would be the hardest test of their marriage and love. No one believing or understanding what she was dealing with all the while she still had continue to raise their two boys. The symptoms started in 1998, but the diagnosis did not come until 2001. We both were invisibly damaged. We
became homeless with a home. We could have found someone else, but we were in love with one another. We were family. Not allowing him to go through this illness along rather we would go through it as a family. Learn how the power of touch and making great memories in the good times kept the love alive to help get us through these struggles.
This book speaks about knowing your worth as a teen. It also highlights the importance of having New Year’s Eve 1986, a young lady fell self love for yourself, as well as, your spouse. madly in love with a young man at first sight. Having a great start in life, It teaches you how to ensure your getting married, starting a family, cup is full before you are able to purchasing their 1 st home, and pour out into others. Being together raising their sons, the world was since we were 16 and 18 years of age, perfect. you would think that marriage was Soon the heartbreaks of the world began the beginning of our life together. to pull them apart. Overcoming adultery, Our lives truly did not start until we picking up the pieces of their lives, and learned how to overcome the trials moving forward only to come to such a and tribulations of our struggles. tragedy as having to deal with a spouse that developed a mental illness-
SCHIZOPHRENIA.
What Is Your Response
awareness to the illness. Our police officers cannot be trained on how to properly handle those having a mental illness.
What if tomorrow you woke up with the realization that you were completely a different person, with a different way of thinking, and feeling that you are losing your mind? How would you want others to
Others will not stop victimizing and stigmatizing those that suffer from a mental illness. School teachers
respond to you?
cannot be trained on how to recognize and handle our children with mental illnesses. A discussion is in need and the time is now.
Now let’s look at how you respond when you hear someone say they have schizophrenia or any other
I hear people often say that depression is not a “REAL” mental illness. We try to belittle the illness
mental health illness? What does your body language or facial expressions say to that person? Do you become terrified? Do you distant yourself from the person? While supporting my husband through schizophrenia, I realize that people are not comfortable discussing mental illness. The energy in the room changes drastically. People do not know how to discuss it. They do not know how to respond to it. So they hide it away like some
shameful paradox. It is never discussed when other family members are diagnosed. It becomes the family secret.
If asked, excuses are the answer.
When we cover things up, we cannot heal properly. We cannot bring
because we believe some are worse than others. We can no longer afford to do this because even with the “NOT SO REAL” illness of depression people are committing suicide at alarming rates. OH IT IS REAL! Depression is as real as all other mental illnesses. It may even be worse because so many suffer in silence and are able to hide or make excuses to cover the symptoms. We must treat all mental illnesses as they are “A MENTAL ILLNESS”. The time is now to have conversations about mental illness. We can no longer hide from it. Our communities need healing. Mental illness does not have a look, a face or a type of person. One in every four Americans suffer from a mental illness.
You may be standing next to someone like to hear when they share with now that has a mental illness, or it others: may be you? Stop the shame and let’s
learn how to help those that are - Tell us that our choice to seek the suffering. It may be that they are professional help that resulted in that suffering in silence, we need education diagnoses was mature and a brave one. on how to support them to come out of hiding and get assistance. - Validate that what we are going through is real and hard. We are living proof that you can have a normal life after a mental illness diagnosis. We have shared our life story to bring awareness and to show others that they do not have to be ashamed. I have spoken to others that are suffering with one mental illness or the other. I wanted to hear from their point of view on how they would like to see others respond to them when they finally become strong enough to say that they are suffering from X Y Z.
- We are coming to you with a disclosure about our identity and identities by nature are very personal. Please respect and do not share with others. - I’m really proud of you for taking care of yourself because that it not easy and you are doing such a good job. - Vocalize the fact that you will stick by us. It is not obvious to us that you will stick by us.
Sadly, some truly do not care what the response is because they really do not think that others really care about - Feel free to ask us what we need. them or what they are dealing with. Some really just want to hear a simple - Come over, fix a meal, put in a load
“Thank you for telling us”.
of clothes or sheets in the washer, put a show on the TV, take out the trash, smile, offer a hug, and quietly leave.
We need to be educated to support those that have been diagnosed and is struggling. It will take therapy, a When the person tells you they have a support system, medication, and love mental illness, it’s important to get to get your loved one through this across three things to that person: process.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, COMPASSION, QUESTIONING, LOVE, SUPPORT
Below you can read other the responses those suffering with a mental illness has said they would
Life is like a
flower. .
Oh so YUMMY! EGG ASPARAGUS BROCCOLI TOMATO LEMON CUCUMBER
making memories...
Rhema 101: 7
TIPS FROM THE DAUNTLESS DEBOBRAH
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE BY EVE REDEFINED MINISTRIES
S
Or should we say first-in-line?
Everyone, it seems...wants a piece of her, or her o our girl Deborah, is anointing…mainly because she that one chick in the fourth was the only Female Judge who chapter of the Book of Judges appears in the OT AND was also a who seems to be on every Prophetess (a real one), AND Christian women’s also a Judge, a Counsellor, and a poster...“Deborah Conference Warrior, who helped lead her twenty seventeeeen” or, “The people’s army into battle and.. Anointing of Deborah Gathering WON! She was all of that. And Annual Revivallll”, or perhaps she was all that. you’ve seen something close to, “All Deborahs Unite Meeting In this post let’s look at the first Brunch and Breakthroughh”… 3 tips we can learn from Okay, the exaggerations are a bit Deborah’s character (we’ll call excessive...but you get the point her Deb for short), to apply in :) our own lives which will help us to sift out the wrong voices and Like, if we’re not talking Esther, truly hear God’s Rhema Word or the Proverbs 31 woman, for (His clear, Spoken Word) for our poster tag-lines, Deborah is personal lives. definitely next in line!
WOMEN'S FRONTLINE MAGAZINE - Numero Uno. Number One : Silence Speaks Volumes. The Book of Judges, Chapter 4, begins like this- (well, maybe in less contemporary terms), “And the people of Israel MESSED UP AGAIN…and so God allowed them to be AGAIN sold into slavery, this time to a King called Jabin who had his commanding officer, Sisera, oppress them regularly.” Yikes. Strike Number “We-can’t-even-keep-count-of " against God by His own people.
When it seems like God appears to be silent in one area of your life, especially the areas where you’re so looking forward to hear Him speak on, remember that His “Silence” should not be a doorway for you to regress from the Faith like the Israelites. On the other hand, God’s seeming “silence” in one area of your life is an opportunity for you to tune in to His Word, like Deb, and serve and honor Him regardless of the trial. We’re better poised than she was in her time. We have the Holy Spirit living in us.
- Now in their oppression they obviously cried out to Him, but God did not answer them immediately. We have more than we could ever ask for. In His Silence, we must intentionally practice gratefulness For the most part, it seemed like God was silent to their suffering. In and remember His goodness, and intentionally Serve Him because fact, it appears that God was so that is essentially what we’re called silent, that they continued to worship their idols and false gods. for. But there was one woman, whose It’s easy to say "God is good" in profession reflected that God’s good times…but will we also sing “Silence” was not synonymous to with passion "My God is abandonment. Aaawesome" in difficult times? Let’s remember this as Deb was out there, helping, #SelflessServitude. counseling, loving on people and reaffirming the Law and the Wisdom of God in the hearts of the Israelites.
- Lesson 1:
RHEMA 101:7
- Number two; Flush out the junk. Remember those idols that the Israelites had which were distracting them from the Presence of God? Huuge, no-no. The text says that they did “evil” and were so consumed by their own passions, that they fell right into their enemy’ hands. - Likewise, these 21st century idols (insert your idols here*) that WE have, that distract our minds from God?? Maaajor no-no. Like Deb, whose wisdom reflected her personal relationship with God, we must remain focused on Him and flush out all junk from our lives. Some of us don’t suffer from food toxins as much as we suffer from visual and aural toxins. We rarely gauge what we expose ourselves to: we watch everything, peruse everything, click on everything, scroll through everything, follow everyone, listen to everything, and rarely filter what we expose our eyes and ears to.
Master calls, we’re too busy grooving to the tune of the enemy. We then end up saying things like, “Why is God Silent!” the real question is, “Whose voice are we attuned to?" Wisdom, integrity, and steadfastness in the faith, as exemplified by Deb, requires us to fast from, minimize, and sometimes entirely get rid of all the distractions that may lead to a regression in our Faith. Let’s call this #CleaningupourCloset. - And last but not least, we must: Develop the Art of TRULY Listening. Would you call yourself a great listener? Do you listen to someone for 10 mins only for them to finish and for you to get your own point across? Do you rehearse your response even while they speak so you know exactly what you’re going to say when they eventually stop talking?
Do you wait for them to finish, so you could “help” them, by sharing a - When our ears begin to pick up the similar experience YOU had? beat of an unknown rhythm, that of *Red flag! We’ve all been guilty of all the Great Deceiver, then when the of the above.
RHEMA 101:7 - We come to understand that, in the few lines in which Deb’s character appears, Listening is beyond simply ‘hearing'. Listening involves, Wisdom, Presence, Patience, Understanding, Validation, Truth, Empathy, Reproof… Listening, is an Art. No wonder people, great and small, would come from all over to receive Deb's counsel. She was an amazing listener.
because she knew how to listen. Now she wouldn’t have been great at that if she didn’t know how to flush out the junk, and if she didn’t know how to be silent. Like Deb, we need to kill the noise and practice the Great Art of truly listening, because our voices are only as powerful as our listening. Let’s remember this one as #hushupandListen...
As Believers, may we remain faithful She didn’t only hear people out, she in serving God, even when we feel listened to them. She was so good at that He is silent. listening, God spoke dropped downloads in her Spirit about a May we do that by flushing out the strategy for victory in a war, she junk and distraction in our lives in took it up, obeyed and everything order to truly listen and hear that was prophesied through her everything He may be trying to came to pass. Whoah. speak to us about. Stay blessed and encouraged and we’ll catch you in the Next Post with the four final tips How powerful is your listening? from Deb! Listen,
In Love,
Deb’s voice was powerful, because her ability to listen was powerful. When she spoke people listened,
Eve Redefined
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, his love endures forever". (Psalm 118:1) '''
I wanted to share some exciting news with you all. I couldn't hold back any longer.
I have to tell somebody. I'm pregnant and I'm excited about it, but before I go more in dept about this, I wanted to share with you my previous pregnancies and cover a little bit on what I experienced. Now many of you
didn't know me when I was pregnant with my other children, but if I could be honest here (even though I was married) , I never really got excited about the pregnancy part.
either. Every pregnancy, I gained at least twenty pounds and let me not even leave out those ungodly stretch marks.
and I remember crying for months. I just couldn't see how I could do it. Long story short, I ended up falling into a heavy depression and having a miscarriage. I mean literally, every Most importantly, with every pregnancy I pregnancy I went through it. One thing for sure was was always afraid to morning sickness. deliver. My mind Mark 4:40 says, "And Every single day, I'd would always go to, He said unto them, either be extremely "What's the worst why are ye so fearful? sick and other days, that could happen?" How is it that ye have extremely nauseous. no faith? And finally after every Secondly, I was pregnancy, even But God had a plan! always hungry. I could though I was very literally just eaten my grateful for my I didn't know it back heart out and no beautiful new then, but I see now exaggeration (ten blessing, somehow I that I've birthed minutes later), I'm always ended up in preachers, teachers hungry again. The postpartum and prophets into the worst part about the depression. nations. So now that cravings were craving I'm pregnant again, for foods that we're even though it's available to me at the With my third child, uncomfortable, I've time. Oh my he was only about goodness, what a four months old when learned to cherish every moment of it. nightmare! I found out I was pregnant again. I was I couldn't stand the so overwhelmed and gaining weight part stressed out about it In fact, my husband was always more excited than I was. Most of the time, I was afraid, but overall there were just a few things that I absolutely couldn't stand.
I didn't know it back then, but I see now that I've birthed preachers, teachers and prophets into the nations. So now that I'm pregnant again, even though it's uncomfortable, I've learned to cherish every moment of it.
witty inventions and most importantly, I'm pregnant with ministry! That's right, I'm pregnant and I'm excited about it.
And guess what??? So are you! When I found out that I was pregnant this time, God spoke to me just like He did Mary. But my story is a lot different from hers. He told me that I was having octuplets.
God has placed something in you that can make a difference and change the world, but if you're not careful, there's somethings that can hinder your purpose. Just to name a few:
That's a whopping eight little ones!!! I'd like to darn near faint! Well, I think I've kept you on your toes long enough. So let me say this, I ain't pregnant with no baby.
Unexpected Pregnancy:
Yes it's true, I'm expecting, but I'm pregnant with purpose! I'm pregnant I'm pregnant I'm pregnant I'm pregnant projects! I'm pregnant
with with with with
dreams! visions! songs! books and
with businesses and
Many times, people don't know they're pregnant with purpose, so when they finally deliver, their left confused and unprepared. In result, they may feel like they could never care for their purpose, so they end up not chasing after it or neglecting it.
Pre-term Pregnancy: Some people know they're pregnant with purpose, but they want it right now. What ends up happening is, the person wasn't ready due to immaturity. In other
Lord, because if God said it then so shall it be! If you are reading this Miscarriage: In the natural, we know that things post, then that means that there's like stress and of course drugs can breath in your body and if there's breath in your body, then that cause someone to miscarry, but what do you think can cause you to means that you are living. miscarry spiritually? Well just to name a few: Doubt, Fear and even If you are living then there's still sin can cause someone to miscarry purpose for your life. their purpose.
Congratulations...You are
Abortion:
Expecting and You're Pregnant with Remember Satan wants to kill your Purpose!!!! purpose, but you will carry fullterm in Jesus name. Do you believe that there's purpose for your life? And last, but not least... If so, What's your God-given dream or passion that you believe Hiding Your Pregnancy: you're suppose to fulfill in life and You're definitely showing and it's what are some other obstacles that time to push! could hinder it? Say this out loud: I'm expecting and I'm pregnant with purpose!
With Love,
Don't get discouraged, as long as Shavonne Andrews we are living, we will all be faced Author Speaker Christian Life with many obstacles in life and Coach these obstacles can cause us to feel overwhelmed and even get us to a point that we just want to give up and throw in the towel. Instead of worrying, having fear or doubt, focus on great expectations. Focus on the promises of the
BY JOY JALLAH
OVERCOMING CHURCH HURT How to heal and be made whole from church hurt of any kind.
When you are going through church hurt
in someway or it may have not been your fault in many ways. Could God be allowing this so and it is so difficult there is possible to cope with growth in your everyday life, do not spiritual walk with be discouraged. Do the Lord? Could God not give up on life. be allowing this for There is hope and reconciliation in solutions to every churches? problem. It may have been your fault
Could God be allowing this to show his glory in it all? Could God be allowing it so God can understand where your heart is when it comes to the Kingdom? Could God be allowing it just to show his grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love through it all?
There is no mistake or wrong doing or faults that is too big for God. He can resolve everything. God can turn what the enemy meant for harm and turn it into good. Be encouraged and do not give up on life or lose hope.
Find a place in your heart to forgive yourself, others and to receive forgiveness from God himself. He is a loving God, full of compassion and slow to anger. He will turn your hurt and make a miracle from your story.
It is better to give God full access Trust God to bring healing, to everything you are going wholeness and restoration in it all. through. It will all work in your God can change this for better and favor. God has crowned you with can bring a masterpiece out of the his favor. so do not give up on your mess. love walk with God. Just keep on loving yourself and others. He uses everything for his glory. because he see light in darkness. Do not give up on your His word enlightens the way. . genuineness towards others. There is hope in hopelessness. God see joy in it all. Do not give up on your heart of giving Do not give up on your faith walk. Do not even be discouraged. God will never give you more than you can handle or more than you can bear. God knew you can overcome this storm. God already knows the ending is better than the beginning. God is merciful and compassionate and full of grace for all who think they have made a mistake in life.
overcoming church hurt....
If you have made a mistake, repent your heart where you hurt the most with a sincere heart and God will from church hurt. forgive you. He is pouring healing and pouring God will clean your record of wrong joy into that place. God is turning and rewrite your story. your mourning into dancing. God will change your story for his glory. Remember to love yourself and every one. You do it unto the Lord and not unto men. You will truly experience the goodness of God. Psalm 23
(Reference: Psalm 30:5.) All things are working together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. God remains faithful so keep your faith alive. You are created by God for more. Develop a character of God with humility.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life. Always trust God in everything. And you shall dwell in the house of God will show himself faithful . the Lord forever and ever. God never fails his people. The Lord is with you until the end. Just keep on walking in love. God is always so good to his people. Never hold any offense in your heart towards anyone and never let The goodness of our God is pride get in the way. amazing. Keep your head high. Keep knowing that the promises of Remain humble. God will see you God shall be done in your life. Keep through every step of the way. you faith strong and grounded in love for people. God knows the deepest place of
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