7 minute read
A Love Letter to Letters
I think.
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I always end up starting my handwritten letters with hello and “I hope you're doing well." This is a reflex of mine, but why? Why is it that, even here, when writing a letter, that I wish you well? A reader whose eyes I've never seen and traits I've never known? Well, the simple act of writing out a letter on paper, on my good stationery, with my name and nice flowers on the edges, changes the implications. As the ink begins to flow out of my pen, I have to carefully consider every thought. I have to investigate the permanence of my words. What I put into a letter can be inspired by my desire to hear friendly gossip, get to know a stranger, or simply to update my grandmother on the newest book that I've read. Letters can serve so many purposes, but, through all of them, one consistency is the desire to maintain connection.
I write to you today in the hopes of inspiring you to pick up the pen and paper, and go to the post office. You see, we, as individuals, as a society, as members of the past, present, and future, are missing out on what it means to write letters. Postcards are a lost art form. Pen pals have stopped communication. The trip to the post office and purchase of a 53-cent stamp is too much effort in an age of instant gratification. So, what does it mean to send a letter in 2022 when handwriting takes too much time and feels like an ancient practice?
Throughout my years at summer camp (elementary school to high school graduation), I begged my friends to send me letters, although I very infrequently received any. The disappointing pattern repeated during my first semester at college. I felt disappointed in the knowledge that they gave us a mailbox, and every time I checked, it would just contain letters to past residents or generic coupons. After writing to high school friends and old teachers, I expected some response. So, why? What's stopping my cousin, my camp friend “Guac", and my high school penpal from writing? What's stopping us from writing letters?
When the nostalgia of the past sets in, I still pick up my special Muji pen and write to my nonna or my favorite high school teacher, but I often do not hear back. Our technological advancements make it easy for us to reach out to anyone at any time, and yet we feel more disconnected than ever. The ease of sending a text to someone without having to consider the waste of ink or the size of paper limits our own mindfulness when sending those texts. We no longer consider what we really want to say and instead find our vague thoughts filling up the notification channel of our friends' phones. When I text someone, I feel that the conversation gets away from me. Inevitably, someone has to walk away from their phone while waiting for an inane reply. This can go on for long enough that the conversation ends and texting just becomes another unnecessary form of phone tag-calling someone to no response, only to miss the next call from them.
Through letter writing, we are able to communicate so much depth in our conversations that is often lost in text communication. To illustrate, the resurfacing desire to “pen pal" has filled my TikTok feed this past year. As you may have seen from those pen paling TikToks or images on Pinterest, the thought and effort that goes into communicating
with others through letters can be beautiful. Seeing images of unique stationery with cursive handwriting, a nice drawing in the corner of the paper, and a wax seal stamp to finish it off, is, quite honestly, inspirational. I was fortunate to have a pen pal for a short time, during which we wrote letters back and forth. From questions such as, “What college are you thinking of attending?" to simple facts about our favorite hobbies, there was a beauty in getting to know one another through only the medium of letter-writing. Little details, such as a small drawing, in their letters made me grateful for their communication.
Even further, I was able to reflect upon myself with a series of getto-know-you questions. I had the ability to conceal or reveal myself in letters as much as I wanted. For a new pen pal friend, I might filter my favorite music to minimize the top-40 pop songs and instead emphasize my cool love for Russian punk just to stress the more interesting parts of myself. And for letters to my old high school friend, I would write in even more detail about my recent romantic endeavors or the problems that I keep finding myself surrounded by. The filter of letter-writing almost enables anonymity between friends. I would write about my life without worrying about an immediate reaction, and I found joy in detailing the shows, classes, and dates that had recently filled my life. I wrote of my own life in a way that was filtered, yes, but I also got to share my favorite parts with new friends. Simply through the act of letter writing with those who were once strangers, I shared a unique account of my life that is not featured on my Instagram feed.
As some of you may know from the Jenny Han book and movie series To All the Boys I've Loved Before, letter-writing can be a declaration of love. The protagonist, Lara Jean, writes love letters to each of the five boys that she had loved at different points in her life, although she does not intend to send them. So, what happens when they get sent without her knowledge? The story of Lara Jean through Jenny Han's novels illustrates the impact of sending such love letters. These uncovered letters not only ignite the source of the story's conflict, but also allow Lara Jean to express herself and her emotions and reveal weighty secrets freely. When reading this book, my own desires for both communicating my feelings and letter-writing grew. In such a sense that letter writing frees us, it provides an outlet to express our true thoughts without the fear of sharing intimate feelings in person. While Lara Jean writes love letters specifically, I believe that any form of letter writing can be considered a love letter, since letter writing shares our intimate thoughts and desires to the intended recipient. Love letters exist as a physical manifestation of thoughtfulness, dedication, and deep affection that simply cannot be achieved when sending a text.
As we may also see from To All the Boys I've Loved Before, Lara Jean has almost no intention to send her letters. In writing them without the actual act of delivery, she shows some of the selfishness that goes into letter-writing. As with all altruism, there is very rarely an action that is truly selfless. All good deeds provide some benefit for us, whether within karma, or just feeling good about doing something good. Letter-writing is similar such that it allows us to share our innermost thoughts. Letters are similar to journaling: you articulate all of your thoughts and emotions to someone else in a way that allows you freedom of expression. This action of writing is selfish. However, making the choice to send the letter and share this part of yourself with your friends is an act of love. Writing letters can be selfish, but taking time to consider someone else and share your thoughts with them is selfless.
All I want is to open my own mailbox to a handwritten letter. While receiving anything in the mail gets me a little excited, I don't feel the same joy when receiving bank statements and store magazines — handwritten letters are unique. How else can I experience the love of novels, the stories of Sue and Emily Dickinson; how are these discoveries forbidden to me? The art of letter writing is not lost to us. For how can we forget the joy received when getting a postcard in the mail? A letter written just for you? While I do understand that Grandma's birthday cards are not very exciting, besides the money or check in the card written next to “Happy Birthday! Love, Grandma,“ letter-writing is different. It is the act of consciously putting people forward in your mind. It is the desire to let others know that you are thinking of them and you hope they are thinking of you. Letter-writing is selfish, sure, but sending a letter is not. Sending a letter puts the message in someone else's hands. So, I beg, please write more letters. Dedicate yourself to communicating. Allow yourself to put time into writing to others in a thoughtful fashion. Take the time and dedication to pull out your “special occasion" stationery and really wish a friend well.
