The Letter I Wish I Got: To My Little Sis

Hey,

If you want to be a scientist, Mari, you need to push it to the limit. It’s brutal out here. You have to work harder than any guy—it’s not fair, but that’s the truth. You won’t be included in business conversations until you prove you are worthy of handling such information. And people will say that you’re dramatic and emotional for speaking your mind. Whatever. Don’t listen to that. Let your seven-year-old self just continue to filter out every negative comment without reason for now, because I’ll force you to take a Women’s Studies class when you’re older and then you’ll understand the reasoning behind it.

Mom knows what she’s doing. While I have my fair share of flaws, I’m not a bad first prototype. Life is messy, so take what she says to heart. Even if it hurts, take it to heart and let it sit with you. She speaks truthfully. She knows it’s hard for women in the world, but she wants nothing but the best for her daughters. So she will tell you the truth, even if it’s upsetting.

When the teachers say the word “feminist” should be censored from a yearbook, remember there is nothing dirty about believing that women should not be second class citizens. Remember that there are little girls across the world, just like you, that can’t go to school simply because they are girls. We should advocate feminism in our yearbooks. Maybe if a larger portion of girls became more comfortable identifying themselves as feminists before college, the stigma would break.

And if you ever find yourself in Mrs. Delafave’s class, (God, I hope not. She’ll be what… 200?) talk about Lord of The Flies all you want honey, because it’ll get you prepared for those brutal 9am discussion sections where participation is mandatory. She’s cranky as hell and will probably prefer the students who don’t say much. But who cares. You’ll see much worse and you need to be armed for it.

Take advantage of the City. You can become way more cultured than I was in high school by spending more time there. It'll build character. Go walking, look at the stores, explore on your own. Find spots you like. Work on developing a positive mindset. Try to become more conscious. Value the conversations that matter. New York holds the world at its fingertips because there are so many different kinds of people that aren't afraid to be loud. Get used to it. Speaking loud and honest is okay.

I don't know precisely the qualities it takes to be remembered. The historic figures our culture values are mostly men. Mari, images of men in leadership will be shoved down your throat to the point where you begin to internalize these examples as truths. I find I'm still figuring out what about strong women makes them strong women because we spend too much time learning why strong men are strong men.

Above all else Mari, you can be a scientist. You can be anything you want in the world if you want to try. Don't make too many long term plans because they will always change. instead of planning minute details, take that energy and go full force into things that intrigue you. If you can persist, you can do it.

Love,

Maya