WSAG E009

e009

When Skies are Grey The Evertonian Fanzine since 1988 Contact us at whenskiesaregrey@btinternet.com Follow us @wsagfanzine www.facebook.com/when.skiesaregrey.1

Roberto had a dream...

Welcome to WSAG. Your favourite Everton fanzine.

It’s May and still all to play for.

We’re nine issues into this new digital malarkey and we’re having a ball. To be honest, we still really miss standing on the island selling but other than there are no regrets. We have a couple more issues this season then a little break. A re-charge and then back again. We will keep striving to improve WSAG, making it better and better-er.

Think back to last June and Martinez’s appointment.

Who didn’t think that Bill Kenwright should have kept quiet about Roberto’s Champions League ambitions?

But, y’know... why not?

And ok, it mightn’t happen this year - especially after Southampton - but it’s only right and proper that we are starting to punch at our correct weight.

There’s always an open invitation to get involved.

WSAG is a celebration of all things Evertonian. A celebration of this thing of ours. Therefore if you like what we do, tell people. Share the experience.

Roberto has always been right about this. A club with Everton’s history should be competing for honours.

We want WSAG to be as inclusive as possible.

No more shithouse tactics in big games.

Up the Toffees

No more changing the way we play to accommodate the opposition. Let them worry about us. Is right.

Graham & Phil

Get in touch.

David Moyes - we said that the vultures were circling last time. And they were.

Gerard Deulofeu - there are some who are tiring of him. Perhaps a little unfairly but there you go.

Steven Gerrard - had a slip at work?

Yes we all got the text. Still, very funny though.

Romelu Lukaka - another who is coming in for some criticism for a run of poor displays with seemingly little effort on show.

Ole Gunnar SolskjĂŚr - so clearly out of his depth it's almost pitiful.

IT WAS A GOOD MONTH FOR Steven Naismith - what a transformation. Fair play to him.

Incredible.

Kevin Mirallas - some quality goals and all round better play. Best Everton goal celebration.

John Stones - Barnsley's finest. Love the guy. He will be an absolute star.

Seamus Coleman - ÂŁ60,000. Say it again. Possibly best signing of recent years.

Leighton Baines - heard he bought the last paper WSAG from Weavers Door.

Good man. Where's your e-sub though?

IT WAS A BAD MONTH FOR

starter for ten things we've all been talking about over the last month or so...

1. Leighton Baines giving it to Mikel Arteta... That's all.

2. A week or so before the 'early bird' deadline Everton reported that season ticket sales were up something like 200% on the same time last year.

How's that possible unless virtually everyone renewed right at the last minute last year. Why don't they just give figures?

3. Just how many teams are going to roll over for them lot?

4. Nigel Farage he's a sweaty bastard isn't he?

5. When is a two month old 'dispute' front page news? When you're the Daily Mirror of course. It's recent Barkley frontpage was a disgrace, a real nothing story trumped up into a scoop. "Any dispute there may have been between them has now been resolved" was the final line of the piece. I suppose Ross is going to have to get used to it.

6. What have Paddy Power got against David Moyes? It's all getting a bit personal.

Apparently they were behind the Grim Reaper at Goodison and it was them erecting a statue at Anfield before the Chelsea game (see pic).

Nothing like kicking a man when he's down is there?

Very cheap and nasty I think.

And what's more, they never paid us for the advert earlier

this season.

7. How shit is this? It's just a series of words. Although 'neighborly' is one of the top attributes you'd want in a mid-fielder.

8.

What's this?

Who's this? Spotted at the recent United game. Not really watching the match, concentrating instead on the home fans. And trying to look dead hard. And he did.

We were really scared. The Milky Bars were on him.

9. Lukaku or Boni?

10. How fantastic does the new Everyman look?

The Learning Curve Less than a year ago a certain handsome, smiling Spaniard sat next to Bill Kenwright before a packed press conference as he was unveiled as the new Everton FC Manager, succeeding the departing David Moyes who was off to the not so greener grass of Manchester.

The Toffees Chairman described a long and exhaustive search for a replacement to the outgoing Scot, and he said his aim was to find the right man to 'take this Club forward'.

Kenwright said he had met some of the finest people in football during his search, but insisted that the finest of those was sat to his left at that moment, and he spoke of being thrilled, excited, buoyed and in awe of the former midfielder who donned a grey suit in the seat next to him in front of a media-filled room on that particular day back in June 2013.

That man was Roberto Martinez, and fast forward eleven months at Goodison Park, a lot has changed for the better, and the signs suggest that there is much, much more to come from the 40 year-old, brown-shoe wearing Catalonian and his Everton side.

Our current Premier League season is far from over; we still have two fixtures remaining and look set to qualify for Europe, and although the Champions League now appears to be out of our reach, a 5th placed finish will hopefully suffice our highest finish since 08-09 - and once again the Club will be able to experience European football next term.

Overall the campaign has been a success up to now, and as I say there is still a couple of weeks to go, but what excites me most about Roberto Martinez and our Football Club is what we can go on to achieve under our dashing, vibrant manager and the future of my team Everton.

The title of this piece is the learning curve, and to me since Martinez took over that is what it has

been as an onlooking Evertonian.

I am 28 years of age and it is nearly 20 years since I last saw my team win silverware, I was just a boy back then and what I have experienced since as a Blue is nothing compared to what some have experience in their lifetime.

My hunger for success grows as each season passes, and more often than not life as an Evertonian is best described as a rollercoaster.

With the Everton ups come the inevitable Everton downs, when the Toffees raise your hopes they soon dash them away; it's a harsh reality of a life of an Evertonian - and a football fan at that. But since Walter Smith left Goodison Park 12 or so years ago and was eventually replaced by a then young and up and coming David Moyes, my hopes and dreams have become that little bit more of a possibility, and now with the current man at the Toffees helm - I believe they will soon become a reality.

Under David Moyes I am of the opinion that as a Football Club we did improve and during the Scot's tenure at Goodison Park I rarely criticised anything he did.

Yes I thought he was a bit tactically naive and he sometimes failed to fill me with confidence with his team selections or post-match press conferences, and yes he did sign Per Kroldrup, but Moyes gave me a hero in Tim Cahill, he gave me my first experience of Europe as a Blue, my first visits to Wembley and some wonderful memories at Goodison Park.

He made me believe, and as a maturing man growing and watching his stewardship from the terraces I did think that one day we would get our just rewards for the hard work he and his teams over the years had put in.

The Champions League came and went in the blink of an eye but it came, and I'll never forget that season and those moments. Wembley came on numerous occasions and although we always fell at the final hurdle I will take those experiences with me in life, and it has hardened me as a supporter of this fantastic Club.

The European trips in the UEFA Cup - be it not the most exciting of competitions - well they are what I will never forget. 'But it's only the UEFA Cup' you might say, but I have had nothing like that before, and I dream of nights in the Champions League and trips to some of the World's biggest Clubs and stadiums.

Until I can taste it I will dream. Kopites I know have had plenty of those experiences over the years, experiences which I yearn for, many take it for granted and believe me it hurts, but being the positive Evertonian I am I believe that one day I can see my team back up there with the elite of Europe.

I also remain focussed that one day my side will be at the top of that Premier League table looking down on the rest, and whilst I know that we have to be realistic, and without getting too far ahead of myself, I believe the man to actually make these aforementioned things happen is Roberto Martinez.

Not everyone was a fan of Moyes during his time as our manager, and what has happened since has been all of his own making, but since he has left, and even though I admit I admired him for most of his eleven years at Goodison Park, you cannot help but feel that now he has gone, he probably was holding us back towards the end.

Moyes did improve matters on the pitch and yes I think he built the foundations to what we are witnessing now, and many may argue that Roberto's current crop were initially brought to the Club by Moyes - which is a valid point - but it is what you say to those players and how you utilise them which is essential to judge a manager and his plans.

Martinez is completely on another level to Moyes, and it might send a shudder down your spine but compare our current brand of football and our current gaffer to how we were playing and some of those at the helm during the post-Moyes Premier League era, we can never go back to those dark days.

Martinez isn't just in a league of his own for his playing style and vision, I am talking everything from his dress sense, his interaction with fans, his embracing of our history, his relationship with our current and former staff, both on the pitch and off it, his positive attitude and strength of character.

I am talking his fist-clenched, one-handed goal celebration he does every time the Toffees score, the way in which he talks up each and every one of his players and never criticises them, the way in which he embraces the challenge of one game to the next, always complimenting the opposition, never being negative about anyone or anything.

War of words? You must be joking. The way he plays to win and goes to the bigger sides to win, and he doesn’t fear nobody.

Martinez was exactly the same during his time at Wigan, and he was and continues to be a respected figure in the game.

A loyal, humble, family man, who is thorough and in everything he does someone who remains classy, honest and proud. Martinez has many key factors in his vision, ideas, and ideology for Everton FC but the things that fill me with immense excitement and result in me writing endless articles like this (again!) are his ambition and most importantly his belief.

Throughout the course of this season from a personal point of view I have found a new belief and focus and it is down to our manager, he has instilled and implemented such a positive mentality that us as fans of the Club cannot help but be sucked in by it.

The word engulfed probably sums it up best, and what is the best thing about it all is that he is only just getting started.

It is a learning curve for me, for the 70 year old fella who sits in front of me at the match, for the 7 year old kid who sits next to him, and me Dad who sits to my side who has seen success (and disappointments, I might add!) and had experiences I can only dream of, but it is also a learning curve for Martinez, his crop of players, those permanent or on loan, his staff at Everton and everyone associated with the Club.

The nervousness and uncertainty surrounding David Moyes' departure soon turned to vibrancy and a buzz after Martinez' appointment and although it took us a few games to get going it was breath-taking, and that has continued for nearly a year. It is Bobby this and Bobby that, brown brogues and the School of Science, Allez Allez OHHH and football that is enjoyable to all.

An enthusiastic approach that is already improving us as a whole, new training methods with the ball at our players' feet, and the perfect blend of youth, talent, experience and professionalism within our squad that when added to can go onto another level.

New pictures on the wall at Finch Farm and an uplift in overall mentality – Martinez buys into Everton and our history and we certainly buy into him and what he sees for the future of this Football Club.

Yes we might have faded after Christmas with some bad results and injury woes, but in seasons gone by we would have completely fallen away, heads would have gone down and things would have whimpered to an end, but this is a new Everton, full of belief and full of learning, full of hunger and desire to succeed.

After our slump in form this season we bounced back and won 8 out of 9 games and although we were recently left disappointed after Palace and Southampton all is not lost, look at the bigger picture and keep the faith my fellow Blues.

We will lose games along the way, but it wouldn't be Everton if we didn't, would it?

Players will make mistakes and some of the younger lads will frustrate us for trying to do too much with the ball, but that is their confidence, it is their belief that they have taken from Martinez' belief. It is a confidence not arrogance, and it is one that we have to embrace.

Again, all part of a learning curve. Former Everton hero Tim Cahill was quoted as saying the following about Martinez this week, even though he has never played under the Spaniard "He's someone with a great aura and a great person who I know personally, I can’t sing his praises highly enough." Cahill added: "He allows his players to make mistakes and learn from them, because he believes in all of them".

Part of our successes this season has been our younger lads getting a game and regularly being involved, and I think it was clear to us all (even before Kevin Sheedy's Twitter rant) that Moyes wasn't a fan of giving youth a chance so it is refreshing to see.

Ross Barkley blossoming into a player who could be unreal, young Barcelona star Gerard Deulofeu leaving us dazzled by tricks and an unbelievable confidence (he also makes us tear our hair out at times!) and what about Romelu Lukaku leading the line? Not everyone's cup of tea but still very young and well into double figures for the Blues this season.

Will he stay? In my opinion very unlikely but he has raised the bar in our striking department regardless of how he might have frustrated you at times this season.

Let's look around the rest of the team and James McCarthy is a prime example of a player coming into his own and settling well at a new Club under the guidance of that man Martinez. But it isn't just the younger lads who are benefitting from having Bobby as their manager, no, look at Leon Osman - most EPL starts out of all of them - Distin and Howard, both consistently solid in their own right. Jagielka, having one of his best seasons until the curse struck him down.

Seamus Coleman, a brilliant signing by Moyes and rusty to start, he improved towards the final few years of Moyes' time at Everton but has now hitting his peak under Martinez who has given him even more confidence and belief than ever before!

Named in the PFA Team of the Year, sixty grand sixty grand I say! That is not to mention half of the team, Gareth Barry, what about Oviedo, I could go on.

One player I have missed out and I think our former manager deserves praise for originally signing him is John Stones - a revelation in Royal Blue. The lad is 19, yet Martinez has started him in numerous important Premier League games since the turn of the year. Trust, belief, confidence. You show the manager you are willing to work, you have ambition and you want to play, and he will reward you with appearances.

Martinez could have gone out and signed an old timer, experienced centre half to make the numbers up after Christmas but he never, he have Stones the chance and he hasn't looked back. The relationship our manager has formed with his players seems already a formidable one, and paired with the optimism on the terraces (one that I have never witnessed before); you cannot help but feel that the future of Everton is bright.

For me the essential thing now is this summer and what it holds. We all know the financial constraints Moyes had to work under and we had to accept the fact that in the past our manager would have to be shrewd in his transfer dealings, but now there is no room for any of this.

Whilst we accept that we are not on the same financial planet to all other sides from 7th place up in the Premier League, it is now crucial that our board matches the ambition shown by our manager and players this season by strengthening where required in the next transfer window.

All eyes will be on Kenwright and although the Blues Chairman deserves praise for appointing Martinez in the first place, if we are to kick on and allow the Blues Boss to take us to that level we all dream of being at then it is time we dug deep and invested in the team.

From what we have seen this season in terms of matching the bigger sides and sticking to our style, the signs have been progressive, positive and a damn sight more exciting than in the past.

However, it remains evident to me and all other Evertonians that players are still needed, and not just one or two, I am talking major reinforcements. Martinez was recently quoted as saying the below when asked about his summer spending plans: "It's not about improving - it's about increasing, when you're playing in Europe you need to have another six or seven and that's the reality and we will do that - it's not an issue. Every summer is busy. We signed 10 players in the previous two windows and that's what you expect from window to window. I never worry about losing players. It's the opposite - I get excited about bringing new players in. You need fresh blood.

We've got incredible senior players at this club.

You've got Tim Howard, Phil Jagielka, Leighton Baines, Leon Osman, James McCarthy - those players hold the dressing room together. (But) we need fresh talent. Fresh additions help the team."

The platform is there and as our manager says, it is just about adding to it. In seasons gone by (even this season) we have got by on lending a player or two or taking someone on a free, but we have always lost a player or two during that time too, which leaves us depleted. Injuries have hit us hard this season and to have a real go at the Champions League you need a lot more luck and a bigger squad – even if our treatment table wasn’t full to the brim as it has been, we still need more players, especially with Europe now looking likely.

The squad we currently have now could not handle two games each week next season and even if the likes of Gerry and Traore stay on for a second stint at Goodison Park it is essential that our board acts and gives Martinez the adequate resources to make permanent signings and signings that will signal our intent.

Some Evertonians will never be Kenwright fans and others will always back him to the hilt, that’s something that will probably never change and I value each and every one of your opinions on that subject and all things Everton.

But even those who are most loyal to our Chairman and his board and won’t have a bad word said about Kenwright must surely agree that we simply cannot accept a sell-to-buy policy anymore and this summer is probably the biggest in terms of importance since Kenwright took charge many years ago. He has to act, and act in the financial manner that matches our manager’s ambition and the new-found hope he has brought with him to Goodison Park. Roberto Martinez was a brilliant appointment by Kenwright and although a lot can change in football during a short amount of time, and the fact that the former Wigan manager is still two games off completing his maiden season at Goodison Park, I certainly believe that if given the funds Martinez can and would spend that money wisely and can again improve us next term.

He has a plan, and with the board backing him with sufficient resources, the possibilities are endless. However, although I have been left disappointed with our off-field actions in the past, I firmly believe that we will have enough money to spend later on this year but if we don’t it would feel like such a missed opportunity, so don’t dash my hopes Bill, because I am on a roll here!

We have shown our intent during this campaign and earned a lot of deserved plaudits, and although the season isn’t quite over just yet, I remain confident that we can still finish on a high and go on to great things next season and in the near future under this manager who has, and continues to, impress me in everything he does.

It has certainly opened my eyes having Roberto Martinez as the manager of my Football Club and I am sure many of you, just like I am, are very happy to be a part of the revolution that is happening at Goodison Park.

Does anyone know the Spanish for Up the Toffees?! @LowerGwladysLad, Editor of @EFCFeeinBlue

X Hits the Spot

( or The School of Science is back!)

Mrs Far-Out has been out of the country this month so I have been left to my own devices, never a good thing, and as is normally the case on such occasions, I have turned to alcohol and other stimulants of a mind bending nature.

She has been in Canada so I have had Neil Young on heavy rotation and a diet of Trailer Park Boys to keep her close to me, but this was not enough so weed, LSD and a touch of opium have been my stimulants of choice, which has meant I have been looking back at the last month through stoned eyes.

Yeah mon!!

I was helped in this pursuit by spending an afternoon in the company of Mr Nice aka Howard Marks and Kermit from Black Grape. I am still getting my head together after that. As for the footy, the month started in far out fashion with wins against Newcastle and Fulham away, and saw the Blues pushing on and scoring some corking goals too.

Barkley and Osman’s v Newcastle were just beautiful and some of our players have really developed under Martinez.

Coleman has been on fire and Stones looks very classy indeed. Naismith and Mirallas have also come on in leaps and bounds since the dour one left, and overall the future is looking groovy.

London Town Next up was Arsenal and given our drubbing in the Cup (result-wise at least) my hopes were not high…I was though…on the fucking ceiling of the Street End…and that was before the game had started. It was particularly pleasing to see Arteta thinking he was playing for us, although I should not have revelled in it so much as these things have a habit of biting you on the arse.

All of a sudden we looked poised for fourth again.

The Champions League was ours for the taking and of our own making. And we fucked it up.

On The Terrace Tony Pulis has done a remarkable job with Crystal Palace and unfortunately he managed to continue it at Goodison as we imploded in our quest to keep qualification in our own hands.

It felt like the crucial moment but at least the next game at Goodison was an easy one;

Manchester United. I had no doubts we would win, but the return of our reserve side, Moyes, Neville, Fellaini and Rooney and seeing them getting battered would be quite a fun sight, especially given Moyes view that to stay at Everton is to stifle a career.

We demolished them. They had more possession but every time we attacked we looked like we might score. Mirallas and Coleman were superb and how ironic that the team Moyes had shat on to join United, ended up delivering the final nail in the coffin that was his job.

Thoroughly deserved, I would say even though I did have a modicum of pity for him.

Time Machine As a result of that game, 4th place looked on again…but remember what I said about gleefully celebrating Arteta’s own goal?

Well, Alacaraz and Coleman gave me a full shot of Karma on that one against Southampton. As Everton fans are understood to be aficionados of Columbia’s finest export, it was fortunate we did not have the same reaction that one particular Columbian had to Escobar’s own goal in 1994.

To be fair, the home side looked the better team and we never really got into our rhythm as we spent the ninety minutes edging towards the Europa League rather than that of the Champions.

So it looks like Martinez will get the same European experience he achieved with Wigan last year, but depending on his summer transfer activity, it might prove to be more of a hindrance

than the exciting challenge that it really should be.

Place To Be Before Mrs Far-Out went to the land of the Moose/Mountie, we had to get to Liverpool to sort out her passport. It was a gloriously sunny Monday as we headed down the M62 to the far superior end.

The usual sights prevailed, Birchwood Services, that massive white cock that sits erect at the side of the motorway (does anyone know what it really is?), the signs for Knowsley and then the Rocket and the edge of the city. For once I did not have to send Mrs Far-Out my usual text of “We’re walking throught the streets agaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnn….” as we sailed through Kenny, because she was with me.

I went into my usual verbal overdrive about how superior the City and its people are to the sullen, faux-hard, spazzy walking Mancs that I have to put up with on a daily basis as we passed the Littlewoods building and started the descent into the City.

The Cathedrals, the Liver and St Johns look resplendent, I miss them so much. You lot who get to see them every day do not realise just how lucky you are.

Parking up by Pall Mall we then made our way for a full brekkie before getting the passport sorted.

Liverpool was awash with beautiful people and colourful vibes as we headed up Bold Street to book her flight. The trumpeter at the bottom of the hill (was it “Baz playing 'trane”?) accompanied us up towards the bombed out church, saved for now thank goodness, and on to STA to book the flight.

A sunny day in the ‘pool cannot be beat, as all the characters, verve, and visions that make this such a unique city are on full display, reflected by the sparkling, shimmering Mersey.

The only thing that clouded my day was the sight of so many shite shirts, but this may have been due to the Hillsborough memorial the next day, so I will cut them some slack. Nevertheless, the LFC meffs have started putting their heads above the parapet of late and I will be gutted if they win the title, especially with that cheating, diving gimp in their ranks.

Walking back down Bold St I was a little disappointed as I nearly always bump into someone I know… but not on this occasion.

Primani was the next stop as Mrs Far-Out, despite me explaining the weather in Toronto was pretty much the same as the UK, kitted herself out as if going on an Arctic expedition (I bet she looked like a right beaut when she got there) but even she had to admit how much nicer the people in Liverpool are compared to Manny.

There is so much to be proud of in the city and the mongs seem to be few and far between these days. I want to move back, and there are a number of reasons why.

Firstly to get out of this wet dump, to be nearer my mistress, Gwladys Street, and to get away from the god-awful wankers who have moved in next door.

Neighbours We do not live in the most salubrious area of Manchester and that’s how I like it, so imagine my horror when a pair of middle class student wankers bought the house next door (well…Mummy did actually).

Aside from the fact that they work for the RSPCA (an honourable profession I used to think until I realised it meant that they bring waifs and strays home with them, that then seem determined break in to my garden to load my lawn with shitty detritus on a daily basis), the fella seems to think he is the fifth Beatle and we are regularly assailed by his fucking awful guitar playing and his shite voice as he continues to live in the hope that someone will perhaps overhear this and sign up a 30 year old balding fuckwit to a label.

I thought we might have something in common when he first moved in because he was wearing a Pixies t shirt, but then I realised you can be a Pixies fan and still be an utter weapon.

His girlfriend meanwhile dresses like

Millie Tant, the Viz lesbian of yore, has the pitch of voice that best be described as a shriek, as if she had just discovered a tramp surreptitiously wanking down her back.

My worst suspicions were realised when I saw the Redshite shirts on their washing lines. They must by now have realised the connection between the shirts being out and me burning stuff in our garden.

There are advantages with them being next door I suppose. If I find undesirable elements in and around my home; snails, spiders, bees, wasps, frogs, ants etc, I have few qualms about lobbing them into their garden…after all…they work for the RSPCA. I know they won’t say anything because I refuse to talk to the fuckers.

Since I Met You I am well aware that this is not the finest article I have written for WSAG ( “Like the rest” I hear you say…) but you must understand my muse is away.

She is back soon, so normal service will be resumed, and the woman who understands the misanthrope that is me, the Evertonian that is me, and the waste of space that is me, will once more be here to keep me on the rails and inspire me to write with more wit and little wisdom.

Bless her. Anyway, despite the Champions League failure, it would be churlish Evertonian who cannot see that a season that could have been a transition phase has turned out very well.

You only have to look at Moyes’ failure to think “There but for the grace of God…”. We have played beautiful football, we have been successful in both league and Cups, and as things stand, we are the fifth best team in the country. Now roll on the summer.

Let Roberto weave some transfer magic and we can dream again next season.

Love you all my Blue Brethren. Peace Out Prince Far Out Fifth Column Manchester

A note to all those who are filling social media with cringy 'Bill looking down on Brendan' stuff, we remember when you were writing this on the wall at Melwood.

WSAG T Shirts We've got loads of t-shirts in our shop including the famour Roberto Soul and the De La Soul featured above as a couple of old favourites like the 'no al razzismo' and Saint Domingo ones.

You can see them all here by clicking the link: http://whenskiesaregrey.spreadshirt.co.uk/

More will be added for the summer including the cover of this issue so keep checking They are dead easy to buy online and Spreadshirt arrange all the production, delivery and customer services for us. Orders are send out within a few days so there's no arsing around We can also do any of the designs featured in most sizes from kids, to womens, to Slimfit to 3XL.

Random Thoughts‌ Fool To Cry I thought Roberto had had a word about this touchy feely bollocks infesting the team when it comes to opponent’s "injuries".

Against Palace one of theirs went down feigning injury for nothing in his own half.

His own team thought "fuck 'im" and carried on, coming close to scoring into the bargain. But we pick up the ball and instead of capitalising on them having a man pretending to be shot deep in his own half, we play the ball to Sylvan who looks up, sees him and plays the ball out into touch..... WHAT THE FUCK..!!?

Not Fade Away And by the way, fuck the doom and gloom after the Palace game. One point behind 4th spot with four games to go? I'd have taken that at the start of the season. And that shower of shite across the park would have snapped Alex Ferguson's hand off for the same. For the past four years.

Let's Spend The Night Together Our House, Friday night, 1966.

6.00pm 6.30pm 7.00pm 7.30pm 8.00pm 9.00pm

News Scene At Six Thirty Take Your Pick Doctor Kildare Bonanza Bed

If they can play on and try to score, why can't we!? Do our players play for Professional Colleagues United or Everton F. C.?

Come on boys, we help pay your wages and WE ought to be the prime motivating factor in all you do while employed at this club (yeah, right...) so just bear in mind our thoughts at such moments and FUCK EM...! You dopey shower of cunts.....

Have a word Duncan, lad.

Time Is On My Side Loads of you are probably going to scream at me now but I had never heard of Punch Brothers until a few days ago. I was looking at that Your Tube thingy on the interweb and I don't know how I ended up there, but there they were.

Bluegrass with a twist. Some of their stuff I was looking at was 5 or 6 years old and I've no idea why I haven't seen them before (whaddaya mean it's because I'm an arl arse...?). Check out their version of Paperback Writer if you get a chance.

Out Of Time "Sacked In The Morning ...", the Gwladys Street prophetically sang to David Moyes. Ok, so it was the morning after that, but not a bad shout.

Just as it was with Carlo Ancolleti a few years ago. Now he was sacked the next morning. If the Gwladys Street read this, can you please turn your attentions to shouting out the lottery numbers against Man City....?

You Can't Always Get What You Want Now, what do I care about the mancs and their plight...?

Cue tumbleweed.

But what I hate is their sneering, arrogant, dare I say American style misplaced pompous superiority trip.

This bollocks about, "He was good enough for Everton but nowhere near good enough for a big proper club like us" shite. Beginning to sound like Kopites. And like them, history is only as old as

they want it to be. They weren't in the second division in my lifetime either, apparently. Short fuckin memories. They had a glorious team that won the European Cup in 68. And guess what? It all went to rat shit. Surprise, surprise - there was no divine right to maintain that success after all: Busby moved on to be replaced by Wilf (who?)

McGuinness; Shit on O'Farrell; Who's Up Mary Brown? And a period of relegation from top flight footy. "Hey You, Division Two, who the fuckin hell are you....?" Never been sung to us. Didn't do songs like that in the early fifties. Anyway, I'm sure we all hope it doesn't go to rat shit for them agai... Oh. Too late.

It's All Over Now I had a mate once, left his good, loyal, very respectable, highly thought of and classy missus for what he considered a more attractive model.

He was the only one who couldn't see it wouldn't last. She jilted him after 10 months, always on the lookout for something shinier. Meanwhile his ex had found a younger model herself, a dashing young Spanish Don Juan who showed her a new way of living and was providing far more pleasure than my old mate had ever been able to. She was completely satisfied and believed things were going to get even better.

Meanwhile... Oh, anyway, fuck Moyes and the mancs.... Europe here we come....

Tommy Boy

West Stand Bogs is a Barnsley fanzine. A very good one.

They asked WSAG to write a piece on old boy John Stones.

This is what we sent.

In return, we asked for a piece from them on John. It follows this piece

It was a bit of shock when John Stones signed at the end of the transfer window in January 2012.

We were surprised partly because with only a handful of appearances for Barnsley, he wasn’t someone we’d heard about. But mainly we were taken aback because we all expected Moyes would sign a striker.

We needed a striker. A much needed goal-scorer.

Moyes knew it, we knew it. Instead we got some kid from Yorkshire who was being described as ‘one for the future’. We’ve all seen those, haven’t we? Young starlets plucked from the lower leagues, big futures talked about only for them to disappear into Academies or reserve teams never to be seen again.

And that’s what might have happened to John Stones. He was bought, given a squad number but little else was seen of him. Moyes still preferred Jagielka and Distin with Heitinga as cover.

Then came Roberto and things changed.

Everything changed. The sun came out.

Of course, Wigan were the other club supposedly in for Stones so Martinez clearly had Stones on his radar. He probably realised too that Stones was likely to be more adept playing the style of football he wanted to adopt at Everton.

The first real sign that Stones had something about him came during Everton’s pre-season tour of America when fans woke up to the news that we had beaten Juventus in a penalty shoot-out and Stones had scored the winning spot-kick. Well, not just scored it, nonchalantly dinked it Pirlo (or if you’re my age, Penenka) style. This was a lad who hadn't even started a first team game and here he was, cool as fuck intro-ducing himself to the world. I liked him immediately.

As the season started, Stones had progressed to the bench although in the early games he never got on.

Instead, he made his debut against Stevenage in the League Cup and then, a few weeks later, we saw just how much Roberto rated him.

In September, we played Chelsea in the league, we were holding on to a 1-0 lead and Stones was called on as a late substitute. This was a clear marker. First, Martinez obviously trusted him to come on in such a big game and secondly he preferred him to the more experienced Heitinga who was also on the bench. From then on, the Dutchman's days were numbered and he was soon packed off to Fulham where he is enduring a long, slow painful death.

By contrast, Stones has been building himself quite a reputation. He made his full debut at Stoke on New Year's Day and has barely put a foot wrong in most games - Anfield proving the exception when him and the whole defence decided not to turn up.

More impressively, he has played with such élan.

He is so comfortable on the ball. Happy to throw in a tackle and happy to push forward. He's not an English defender.

He's Baresi, he's Beckenbauer. If I was pushed to compare him to a British defender it would have to be Alan Hansen. It's sometimes difficult to remember that he's only a kid who has played little more than a handful of games.

Of course, our gain is your loss. I imagine though you still feel a sense of pride seeing just how far he's come in such a short time.

He's still one of yours, after all. And, only this week it was good to see he was back in Barnsley catching up with old team-mates and wishing them well.

He will play for England, that there is no doubt.

It's rumoured he's on the verge of a call up to the full squad now and while us parochial Scousers have no interest in the national team, it would be great to see him in Brazil alongside Barkley and naughtiest left back in the world.

It will be a fitting end to a great first season.

John Stones: A Barnsley View I’m yet to have children. I want them, ideally a couple of lads to accompany me through the shite that is watching Barnsley for the next 50 years and to continue the family depression.

When I was a kid, my Grandad used to tell me about when he played for Accrington Stanley and got the sack because the manager caught him having a cup of tea with his wife. My Dad still tells me about when he fell in love with a man named Ronnie Glavin and saw Mick McCarthy score with a header from half way. And now I’ve got my story.

‘You know that lad playing for England, Jud? John Stones that. I saw him score at Rochdale.’

Barnsley have produced a few good players over the years, usually ones that hold their own in the Football League after a few years at Oakwell. The likes of Nicky Eaden, Andy Liddle and Steve Agnew to name a few - nothing to write home about but good, solid players. Yet in the last 35 years or so there’s only 3 that have gone on to really make a name for themselves – Mick McCarthy, David Hirst (yeah, he did start with us) and now our lad John.

Many people will lie and say stuff like ‘I saw him play in the U14s and knew then he’d captain

England’. I’m not going to do that.

John made his debut for us as a 16 year old substitute in the last game of the season versus Brighton, typical end of season put some young lads on the bench tackle. John came on, did ok but nothing to write home about but missed an absolute sitter of a header in front of his Dad and family in the Ponte end. You could see how gutted he was and everyone just thought he’d be a pub qui question and that’d be that.

Yet fast forward 12 months, he played RB away at Rotherham in our first pre season game of 2012/13 (and the opening of the New York Stadium) and he was alright. Nothing more. And then he played the rest of the games. Again, alright.

Then the season started proper – Rochdale away. Round 1 of the League Cup. At the time, we had history with Rochdale. Our gaffer Keith Hill was their best ever manager. He’d signed half of our players from there (most were shit). And John started his first professional game.

He started well enough but looked nervous – again, he looked alright. But just before half time we got a free kick on the left hand side and at the far post John headed the ball into the ground and into the net. Full debut goal.

The way he ran over to the Barnsley fans was brilliant – one of our own, unable to hide the joy on his face and a true defenders celebration of ‘what the fuck do I do?!’. Brilliant. And a star was born.

He played week in week out for the next few months in a shit team. He was dropped to the bench a few times but he was the shining light in an otherwise awful season.

In John’s last game for us we played Millwall at home at the end of January. Now playing as a right wing back he was as good as I’ve ever seen. Strong, quick, able to take a man on, put a cross in, tackle,

head, everything. There’s a clip on Youtube of him doing a trick to keep the ball in that I’d never seen before – I remember the intake of breath around the ground. We knew we had something special.

And then, like the rest, he was gone. I remember following it on Deadline day. First he was off to Wigan, then to you. We debated about where best to go, whether or not he was right to leave – the usual but mainly whether £3 million was right.

There’s still many around us that look at that as though you robbed us. In actual fact I think it was a good deal for both parties - we got the 3rd highest ever transfer fee for a teenage defender, you paid good money for a good player but no 18 year old is without risk. And there was also the usual ‘what a wanker, he should stay here, he’ll just rot in the reserves’ rubbish. Amazingly, they’re very quiet these days.

This season, particularly the last 3 months, I’ve been a surrogate Evertonian and seeing the way that you speak about our John fills me with pride.

The way that he still comes to watch us (and sits in

the main stand) fills me with pride.

Watching him brush the best the Premier League has to offer fills me with pride.

Hearing that he still plays 5 a side with his mates from his old school does too.

I’m not gutted about the money, I’m more gutted I only got to see him in a dozen or so games. But I’ll always remember him playing for my club – our club. More than anything, knowing that the people of our town have a new hero is what does it for me. He’s an ambassador for all things good about Barnsley and I can’t wait to watch him over in Brazil.

Dyson

HALF TIME QUESTIONS Please discuss the following questions amongst yourselves at half time and send us your considered thoughts on the back of a ciggie-packet.

•

What is it with young fellas and fuckin stupid beards?

•

Will Everton actually ever move to a new stadium?

•

Does anyone really believe that Liverpool is everyone's favourite other team?

•

Do people really think that Kenwright is holding back on selling Everton?

•

Will Stephen Gerrard change his boots?

•

Is Romelu Lukaku as good as he thinks he is?

•

Does Roberto know any superlatives apart from phenomenal?

•

Who will be the next kid to break into the team?

• •

Apropos Cyril Smith investigation just what was going on back then?

Does David Moyes feel a bit of a tit now?

ON SALE!

School of Science & Forever Everton ÂŁ26.00

www.blue-tone.co.uk

Jesus wept, are you still talking?

I’ve been meaning to write this piece for ages.

Ever since we won at United. But I didn’t, because I knew that whatever I said would be made immediately redundant by the battering we got at Arsenal. And so on. In short, I remain convinced that my thoughts alone can curse or bless entire seasons, so I kept my own counsel.

The other reason I didn’t write it is because for one reason and another, I really don’t go the game very much anymore. I think it was around 2010 that I just started drifting a bit, tired of our perennial lot as “best of the rest”, and not content to pay to watch a team that also appeared to have settled for it. I’m no kopite and I don’t believe we, or any club, have a divine right to success. But it gradually dawned on me that while the team had belief in itself, it remained limited and there was a greater belief that the glass ceiling separating us from the top however-many would remain forever untroubled.

Anyway, while I’ve never thought that a lack of attendance automatically removes your right to comment on your club, I quickly became aware of just how fast you can lose touch with what’s going on when you actually do drag your fat arse off the couch and out to, say, Fulham for the one away you regularly get to. And there’s nowt worse than a phony talking to people who know more about the subject than he does.

But given the season is drawing to a close, and that with three games still to play we still have so much to play for, I thought I’d say a bit. And if we fuck up then, before you even consider saying that I should have held it in, you can blame the two Palace results and those five points we binned that would have seen us laughing with comfort at scrotum-faced Arsene Wenger’s stunted bunch of invisible-card waving, calf clasping bitches.

Martinez I said at the time of his appointment (to some people who were already predicting the end of Everton, and others who were simply selling me my sandwiches or driving the bus) that success

and failure isn’t portable, and that hiring a manager who’s done a good job in one place doesn’t mean he’ll replicate it at the next. Ask Jose Mourinho or Mark Hughes (next time you see them) if you don’t believe me. There are too many variables and too many outside influences for anyone to say with any certainty that one manager will work, and another will fail.

None of us are managers, none of us know what goes in to managing any club let alone Everton, so it was down to us to just back the decision and stop worrying about it. It wasn’t like we could do anything about it so, short of an obvious prick being appointed (imagine if ginger-teeth Neil Lennon had got it), we just needed to get on with it and back the board to get it right.

Reading the mag this season, I was surprised at how many people have confessed to having considerable doubts about Martinez. I’m also made up that, at least at this stage, he’s proved people wrong.

We’ve still choked when it mattered, but our football has been, for the most part, a joy to behold.

Unconstrained attacking intent, intelligent possession, and a removal of the fear factor that has seen us win at United, outplay Arsenal on their own turf and smash them on ours, and go to places like Chelsea and City demanding that we be treated as peers rather than cowering shithouses. The change in mentality is palpable and it comes from the top.

Same old faces, a handful of exciting new ones, and what a difference it’s made. Far too ponderous at times, but as early as the Chelsea game (telly) I felt like I was watching an entertaining group of imposters. In that respect, we definitely have something we can attribute to Martinez.

The style, wit and grace of the man; the approachability, the refusal to talk in clichés and soundbites. Right down to his heart-felt address to the families of the 96 just a few days ago.

Well in, Bobby, lid. You’ll fit in nicely here.

Everton I’m not going to carry on waxing lyrical for too long about Everton’s performances this season, especially not to people who’ve seen them play in the flesh far more than I have. You already know.

But in Stones, Baines, Barkley, Mirallas(ish), McCarthy (“he’s shite! He’s fucking rubbish!

Martinez is turning us into another Wigan” – as ever, can you not just wait til you’ve seen them put a prolonged shift in whilst in an Everton shirt before you make a tit of yourself?) and Barry (If there’s any kind of fucking anything nice in this game, he’s fallen in love with us), this is one fuck of a side we’ve got here.

season. We’re looking at a breed of Everton players which, with a decent headwind, a bit of luck in the transfer market and a half-decent start to next season, can become champions.

Players like Coleman, Stones, and all the other dead good young ones I mentioned up there – they’re the future of this club. The spine of a league-winning team.

Top four my arse. Aim high and fear no-one.

That’s our thing.

I’ve ignored Julie Few as I’m sure he’ll be gone.

He’s already said it, and no amount of ifs, buts and maybes will turn the head of any player who prefers B-team football for their parent club over exciting cameos for the sexiest team in England.

And Lukaku isn’t good enough. There’s better out there, and while he might be grabbing headlines and catching the attention of the highlight watchers amongst us, it must be clear to many that he’s only ever good on his day and he doesn’t have enough of his days. The world cup is coming up and it’ll either show him for what he is, in which case why would we look to tie that up for any prolonged period, or he’ll have a fucking blinder in which case, how could we afford to tie that up for any prolonged period?

Wilfred Bony. He’d do.

And I’ve saved Coleman til last. Because he’s an absolute diamond. Flatteringly, understandably, sadly, the media have already latched on to the fact that he’s been brilliant whilst ignoring the fact that we, as a club, are on the verge of brilliance too. They’re already tentatively hawking him to anyone they think is big enough to handle him, the bells. If it wasn’t for the fact that we’re better than United and Ferguson has quit, he’d doubtless be there in the summer, having his raw talent developed into something altogether more functional and stoic, like the other kid United bought from us.

I’ll hold my hands up and admit I’d called him wrong. He looked a belter when he first appeared for us, but a succession of clumsy performances at right-back had me pigeon-holing him as a make-weight right winger, good at going forward but negligent in his defensive duties. I’m more than happy to admit just how wrong that original assessment looks now.

Even though there’s still much to play for in these next three games, for the first time in a long time, I’m genuinely looking forward to next

Allez Allez I hate this song. Sorry. I’ve never been much of a singer in general, I’ve always been too lazy and far too self-conscious to get properly involved. I also hate standing up, and singing while sat on your seat is inherently weird, unless you like going to Leonard Cohen gigs.

You know when you get through the first refrain of “Everton, Everton, Everton” and you get to the last two “Everton, EH-VUH-TON”s? And then it carries on into a second refrain before petering away? Well, I always think I’ll be the one who starts the last “Everton, Everton, Everton”, on my own. And someone behind will say “on your own, knobhead”. And everyone will laugh, and my veneer of cool will be stripped away in that one cruel and wholly unnecessary put-down.

Because it had survived in perfect condition for 39 years before then.

Shit, I’m 39. That’s just hit me. It only happened a few days ago.

Anyway. I’m not going to judge anyone who sings it. I hardly go the games any more, it’s not and it never has been my place to criticise blues, and who the fuck am I to tell anyone how to support their club (although if you’re over 15 and wearing a replica shirt to the match (with your name on it), I’ve just judged you, unfavourably).

Nothing warms the heart more than hearing Goodison buckling under a crescendo of noise, or being deafened by an away contingent in full voice. But this song… I dunno, it’s just a bit too

Middlesbrough for me. The lack of diction grates. It took me ages to work out “Roberto’s Blue Army” bit, and that was because I read it. It still sounds like “Bez Army” to me. So if you’re going to sing chaps, at least remember to annunciate.

also the only Blue this,

The T-shirt is a different story. I for one am proud to associate myself with this product.

That’s not what I meant An aside.

I started a new contract a few months back. I’m effectively a jumped-up in-house journalist, but as I work for a hedge fund (yes, I know – it was all my fucking fault and yet here I am, in my fancy brogues, snorting breakfast coke off a prostitute’s salmon fillet, etc), the subject matter I get to work with is really fucking boring. You know the figure 1.01%? Well the point-noughtone is called a basis point. I work with people who get really excited by them. 1.02% creates the kind of euphoria that 1.01% could only meekly dream of.

I’m not looking for sympathy. The pay’s ok, although they get their pound of flesh and more hours out of me than I’d care to calculate, and I’ve finally fluked my way into a position which includes the words “senior” and “manager” in the title. I’m in charge of a team of exactly no other people, but even so – baby steps.

Anyway, there was a point to this. Prior to this job, when it came to interviews, I’d only ever sat on the shit side of the desk. The side that sees you worrying if your hair looks good (always), if you still smell of ale from the previous night’s illadvised excess, if the bloke in charge has clocked the frayed edges of your shirt collar and the small rip in your keks. But just a month into this gig, I’m sat in a room with two of the women I work with (Probably; Definitely), grilling an Irish lad about why the fuck he’d want to give up his life for a job doing this kind of turgid, soulless shit. I have my reservations about him from the

off. He’s younger; better looking; the accent.

He’s clearly a threat to my status as office waterboy. Probably and Definitely, however, are warming to him, which is where you join us.

P: “So, what would you say your weaknesses are?” [incidentally, if you ever ask that question at an interview, you’re a knobhead. What are you expecting? “Actually, I beat my wife when I get stressed. I’ve also kicked a cat into the back of a goal and thrown my bare-footed mate’s socks down our rain-soaked garden, so I suppose you could say I have a vindictive sense of humour laced with more than a modicum of violent tendencies. How am I doing so far?”]

Irish: “Well, I suppose you could say I’m something of a perfectionist, so I can be a bit anal at times.” [incidentally, if you ever answer a question about your weaknesses with “I’m a perfectionist”, then let me tell you that you’re not. What you are is a twat, sir] D: “Oh, anal is good. Anal, I like. I can get on board with anal.”

Irish blushed. A short silence which felt long enough to have comfortably thumbed through the pages of War & Peace ensued. Defo and Probly exchanged glances. I cleared my throat.

Me: “Irish, what Defo means is that she, too, is a stickler for details.”

He never got the job, but I can’t wait for the next round of hiring.

David Moyes As I said earlier, you only have to duck out of going the game for a wee while before you start to notice how out of synch you are with the current beat.

David Moyes left Everton under a guard of honour from most Evertonians. A few grumbled that he obviously knew he was off and stiffed us out of the compensation we’d have got had he just put pen to paper and “done the honourable thing” by us. Of course he could’ve still left, but it would have ensured that we’d at least get a few bob when, for the last time, he packed his long-since dry cleaned and repressed Champions League monstrosity outfit into his suit bag and fucked off somewhere “better”.

I bit my tongue.

Then came the Alex Ferguson bewk – save yourself the misery, everything was everyone else’s fault, he had no problems with anyone who wasn’t a twat and he always did right by those that deserved it. For a couple of hundred or so pages. I bet Moyes read it and turned the colour of boiled shite as his six-month-buried pack of lies came out to the sound of more bridges catching fire.

been like watching an elderly relative slowly lose their marbles.

I’m not losing any sleep over him going. He fancied his crack at being Billy Bigshoes, and instant success comes with that territory. He was a prick with his comments about knowing how Everton was run and he’s learned too late how lucky he’s been to have been at a club that is both demanding and patient when its fans think the team appears to be moving in the right direction. Or can see a glimmer of hope, at least.

Still, I bit my tongue.

He’d done eleven years with us, he’d taken us as far as he could four years earlier and he never really looked like pushing it further.

Despite the lies, his departure was in the best interests of everyone, and he’d undoubtedly given us back our club and our self-respect during his tenure.

Suck up the choking, he’s not the only Everton manager to have done that, his problem was that he took us consistently close to the brink before choking. It’s always the hope that does for you.

I’ll jimmy this on, you all know the story. The bit that did it for me was his shite-arsed approach for our “best two players” and the condescending dismissal of Martinez when he claimed that he knew how the club operated. He might not have been in charge of the numbers at the bottom of the fax, but he knew what he was doing when he belittled Martinez and he got his comeuppance when Everton did everything but say “Fuck off, are you fucking stupid? Or do you think we are?

Don’t answer the second one, the answer’s ‘no’, you tit”. For once, very publically. We looked good. They looked stupid.

Moyes’ approach smacked of Mark Hughes behaviour made when he used the same tactics to snaffle that defender who used to be dead good but subsequently disappeared when he left Everton. Like so many others. We never heard the end of Moyes’ moaning over that, and rightly so. So what did he expect from us when we popped into his new gaffe? A “Good Luck In Your New Home” card and a slice of cake? I bet he wasn’t expecting a defeat, but given his conduct it was surely lower on his list than a good hard bout of booing.

For all that, the deconstruction of Moyes as a manager has been hideous to watch, especially since it’s been orchestrated by the same media who’d been touting him as a protégé-in-waiting for Ferguson. I was actually relieved for him when the announcement of his sacking came, it’s

I’m made up he failed. He’s removed a competitor from our path and the cards have fallen nicely in our favour in terms of his replacement. But it’s tempered by the fact that underneath it all, he did a lot of right by us and the foundations that Martinez has built so thrillingly on this season were undoubtedly laid by him.

The lesson here is to remember what you’ve said in the past, remember who you’ve said it to, and never fuck your old mates over for the new kids in town. Moyes’ legacy should have been the building of a club that a better manager could take on to greatness. Now he’s just one of the many knobs who’ve attempted to have the last word before disappearing off into either ridicule or anonymity.

A genuine shame.

The mag A seamless transition into the digital era. Still waiting to hear the outcome of the chaps’ discussions with Apple to bring a foldable iPad mini to the market for that genuine match-day feel, but this’ll do for now. Links, songs and videos make it all the more accessible and enjoyable, and the content remains as relevant now as it was when I picked up my first issue, I think number four, just after the Cornishmen had been turned over, 3-0 at Arsenal. They say the public gets the media it deserves. If it’s true, we really are a bunch of brilliant-minded handsome bastards. For the most part. The lad next to me at Arsenal this season fucking stank, mind. I mean, he fucking reeked.

Justice The truth is out there. All that remains is for justice to prevail. Given the progress of the last couple of years, it surely won’t be long in coming.

It can’t be. It mustn’t be. Justice for the ninetysix.

There was more I was going to say but Christ alive I’ve yammered on a bit here. I’ll turn it in.

Until next season, chaps. Allez. milo

DAYS LIKE THESE Phil Redmond continues his scurrilous WSAG diary from this date to that.

Starting where we left off last time...

April 01 The Under 21s bounced back to form by beating Southampton 31 at Southport last night. Luke Garbutt bagged a couple, whilst Chris Long got the other.

In other news, Steven Naismith became the latest player to wax lyrical about Roberto Martinez and how much more he is enjoying his football under the smooth Catalan.

Gerard Deulofeu meanwhile also credit’s Martinez with improving his game. The young Catalan is also “extremely happy” at Goodison, which may auger well for a second loan move next season.

April 02 On the injury front, Ross Barkley is “touch and go” for Sunday after receiving a kick on the calf at Fulham. Phil Jagielka is “medically fit” after his hamstring injury but Roberto wants to be sure that Jags is match fit before he returns to the team.

How far away he is from match fitness is a completely different matter.

Romelu Lukaku’s agent releases a nothing statement about how he is exploring options about the big Belgian’s future, including the earth shattering news that like every functioning Euro agent, he’s spoken to Daniel Levy about his client. The subtext seems to be that if we qualify for the Champions league, he’ll sign for us, if not, he probably won’t.

The forgotten man, Magye Gueye bangs in a couple for the under 21s in their 2-1 win against Arsenal. Like Vellios, surely his time at Goodison is up.

April 04

It’s the season defining game against the Gunners at Goodison on Sunday.

Win and the Champions league dream is very much on, lose and the best we can hope for is Thursday night on ITV2.

This is a massive test for Everton, particularly mentally.

So many times in recent years, not least at the Emirates last month, we’ve bottled it at the

vital moment.

Let’s hope Roberto’s positivity rubs off on his players, as we’re more than capable of beating Arsenal, particularly at a psyched up, angry Goodison.

Let's go for it and hopefully come 3:30PM on Sunday, our destiny will remain in our own hands.

Today’s injury update is that Phil Jagielka is unlikely to feature but Roberto is very hopeful that Ross Barkley will make it. In other injury news it's looking like Arouna (who?) Kone is out for the season but incredibly Bryan Oviedo might make it for the last game of the season at Hull.

What a fantastic would be.

story

that

April 05

Surprise surprise, on the eve of our big clash, .Arsene Wenger is cryarsing about the loan system.

Wenger, who’s loaned players in and out this season, feels it is unfair to Arsenal that we have been able to bring in players from their rivals that can’t play against their parent clubs.

They’re our rivals as well fish grid. Obviously this view is

Martinez meanwhile is “confident” that Steven Pienaar will be back before the end of the season which sounds a lot more serious than first thought.

That’s rubbish because the little South African is instrumental into the way we play.

April 03

Darron Gibson is apparently stepping up his rehab and is back training with the “group”.

Separated at birth

April 08

Another revelation doing the rounds is that some Evertonians would rather finish 5th if it stopped Liverpool winning the league.

shared by many of the maggots in the media.

Isn’t it funny that the system is only a problem when somebody outside the accepted order uses it well and threatens the status quo?

Fuck em. Let's hope the arl twat has got something to moan about tomorrow.

April 06

And so it is. Everton 3 Arsenal 0 is as comprehensive a win as is possible as the Blues rip right into Arsenal and blow them away in the same manner as Liverpool and Chelsea did in recent weeks.

Everton were quite frankly majestic. Indeed it would be hard to single anyone out after this complete display.

From last week Kevin Mirallas and Steven Naismith come in for Deulofeu and Barkley.

The Blues skipper Leon Osman, who’s been granted a much deserved testimonial is forced off with a nasty head injury early doors.

His replacement, Ross Barkley turns in one of his best ever Everton performances, disciplined and sharp, just like his team mates.

Afterwards, Martinez is a proud man and who can blame him.

Even I’m starting to believe. All bets are off. As the song goes, “we play from the back, we’re boss in attack”. The school of science does indeed look to be on the way back.

Whilst I don’t agree personally, it’s a bit rich of the media and Liverpudlians in general, to use this as proof as to what a shower of bitter bastards we are, particularly as some of them have patronisingly been hoping that we qualify for the champions league.

I can guarantee that if the roles were reversed, their stance would be different.

In other news, it has been announced that 60’s stalwart Sandy Brown has passed away at the age of 75.

April 07

Leon Osman has escaped with 5 stitches and a bit of concussion from yesterday's collision with Arsenals’ Bakary Sagna. He’s expected to be fit for Saturday’s trip to Sunderland.

It’s a shame really that the big Scots career has been retrospectively dismissed by the term “utility man” and by memories of his spectacular own goal in the 1969 Goodison derby.

The media are waxing lyrical about our performance, however some bellends, in particular that fat scruff Martin Samuel are still banging on about our use of the loan system.

The facts are that Sandy was a fine left back who suffered from being around at the same time as Ray Wilson, then the best left back in the world.

They really don’t like any of the established “big clubs” being threatened do they?

Never forget that Sandy played the majority of the games during one of the clubs most celebrated title triumphs in 1969-70.

April 09

folded like a 15 year old MFI unit that’s been left out in the rain.

The current optimism around the club is apparently translating itself to season ticket sales with purchases up by 202% on the same period as last year.

The game is almost identical to Fulham the other week, a game which was a lot harder than the final score indicated.

The under 21s meanwhile, who appear to be playing every other night at the moment, draw 1-1 at Leicester.

Luke Garbett converts another penalty for the Toffees goal.

April 10 In an exclusive interview with the Echo, Romelu Lukaku manages to say absolutely nothing.

Early team news for Saturday is that Leon Osman is continuing to be assessed. Apparently his cut is healing well but he still has a lot of swelling around his eye and Roberto wants to make sure his vision is not affected.

Martinez added that Phil Jagielka will again be absent, but will be taking part in a forthcoming behind closed doors friendly and isn’t far away from full fitness.

Gareth Barry meanwhile will not be rested. The veteran schemer is on 9 bookings and a booking at the Stadium of light will result in a two game suspension. An amnesty comes into play after Saturday. Merseyside bookies have stopped taking bets on him getting a yellow.

In other news, the last home game of the season against Man City in early May has now sold out and there’s only just over 2000 obstructed view tickets left for Palace next Wednesday.

These are exciting embrace them.

April 11

times,

Tomorrow takes the Blues to the North East for a clash with rock bottom Sunderland. We owe these big time for boxing day when a combination of Vito Mannone, Tim Howard and Leon

Osman confined the Blues to our only home defeat in the past 18 months or so.

It's tempting to look at this game and the undeserved defeats at Chelsea and Tottenham and think we could and should be challenging for the title instead of a champions league slot, but I suppose every team has dropped points they really shouldn’t have. Whatever, the Blues must use Boxing Day as extra motivation to leap frog Arsenal into 4th.

Sunderland are now in desperate trouble and a defeat tomorrow will surely consign them to the drop.

On Monday against Tottenham they looked Ok until Spurs scored their second. From there you could see the belief drain from the mackems and they

Almost 12 months ago to the day, David Moyes took the Blues up there, when Sunderland were in a similar position.

Unfortunately he was unable to inspire a lack lustre, tired looking Everton and the mackems pinched a vital three points.

Sunderland are in an even worse position this year and will surely give it everything. However this is new Everton and a couple of early goals tomorrow will surely finish them off. Believe!

In other news, a lot of Liverpudlians, both fans and pundits seem to be linking their title challenge with the 25th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster.

Am I the only one who finds this a little distasteful. Liverpool beating Man City on Sunday or winning the league has got fuck all to do with Hillsborough.

It's not fate or destiny for Liverpool to win anything this year.

Hillsborough was a predictable

Tuesday. Cam orn yew Irons!

April 13

Roberto in a bad Moyesesque cardigan waxed lyrical about all things Toffees on Sky’s goals on Sunday. I love that man!

Regarding yesterday, he was particularly pleased with our resilience and concentration in dragging out a win on what was something of an off day for the Blues.

but totally preventable act of negligence by South Yorkshire Police, The FA and Sheffield Wednesday FC which led to the deaths of 96 innocent people.

Hopefully shortly, those who were responsible will be punished and those people who were directly affected will receive the peace and justice they’ve been denied for the past 25 years.

In other news, Everton announce that building is about to start on Spellow Lane for the Everton free school. This is a development that does not sit right with a lot of Evertonians, with vital local authority funds being diverted by an insidious Tory led initiative which is aimed at further eroding the powers of local government and the teaching unions.

Everton in the Community may have admirable intentions in further developing their roots in the local community but by aligning themselves to such a divisive policy, they are bound to raise concerns from a large section of the support.

April 12 Roberto again rings the changes, with the fit again Leon Osman coming straight back into the team and Gerard Deulofeu replacing Kevin Mirallas.

It wasn’t pretty but Sunderland 0 Everton 1 takes us clear into 4th place.

The Blues started well enough and if Lukaku, Naismith or Deulofeu had taken presentable chances, the afternoon may well have been a lot easier.

As it was, Sunderland grew in confidence and with sharper finishing could have won this game. Everton kept plugging away and finally Deulofeu roasted Marcus Alonso once too often from a Sunderland perspective and Wes Brown deflected in the little Catalan’s cross.

At this point in the season, that bit of look is what’s needed and hopefully Arsenal’s extra time struggles against Wigan in the cup have taken their toll for their game against West ham on

In today's football, Man City’s expensive collection of bottlers choke yet again on Merseyside, handing Liverpool the title initiative.

Luckily, Chelsea are still right in there.

Regarding our neighbours, the question must be asked, is Martin Skrtl invisible or something?

The constant half nelson’s and headlocks from corners are almost par for the course these days. Today he actually punched a free kick clear.

The referee was Clattenburg though.

Mark

In other news a coach carrying the Man City Eccles supporters club branch was bricked before the game.

Anyway fuck em. It's all about Palace on Wednesday!

To be continued on p38

#WSAGmatch

arsenal home #WSAGmatch continues with a match reports from Lee Molton alongside comments posted by you on WSAG's twitter and Facebook following the match. To get involved look out for the hashtag #wsagmatch.

Goodison Park was a sell out today and the Evertonians were in full voice for this crucial clash for the fourth spot.

Everton started the game with a high tempo and got at Arsenal from the first whistle and also played some great football. Osman almost scored in the first minute but his dipping volley went inches wide, a few minutes later he was to go off injured after a nasty gash to the eye – on came Barkley!

After quarter of an hour, Everton took the lead when a Lukaku shot was saved, but Naismith fired into the goal and Goodison went wild!

Everton continued to dominate Arsenal and defended superbly too. The referee blew for full time to a loud cheer from the Evertonians, what a terrific performance today and the Blues against the mighty Arsenal and are now only one point behind Arsenal in the race for fourth spot.

There were many good performances today in the defence, Barry and McCarthy, Naismith and Lukaku but my star man goes to the whole team as it was a fantastic performance from them.

Mirallas had another chance which the goalie saved. It was all Everton. Mirallas played it out to Lukaku who ran with the ball, cut inside and shot past the keeper for 2-0 – Evertonians were in dreamland!

@dmccoy1 I honestly wouldn't swap him for any manager in the world right now.

Arsenal had their chances too but Howard saved from Podolski. The referee blew for half time and what a great first half from the Blues!

@mikemurphy1979 Lukaku's got massive hands, hasn't he?

Arsenal started the second half trying to get at Everton, but the Blues were not having any of it and continued to dominate Arsenal.

On the hour mark, Mirallas ran with the ball and played it to Naismith who shot at the goalie and he parried it to Mirallas but Arteta ran back to poke the ball into his own net and Gwladys Street went wild – 3-0!

@ecwc85 complete performance #snarlingbearpit

@stdomingo Daring to dream now! @Markstaniford Phwoooar. @Sabes100 Everton, that. The good Everton. @Formbyblue momentum is a magical thing in sport. I haven't completely given up on the title yet. @GrayHatton School of Science stuff from Everton today. Long may it continue!

Stephen Connor http://youtu.be/P5qEzqJjugA Mike Deverell Martinez is a genius.

Tactics spot on and Arsenal hadn't a clue what was going on. Players were all magnificent too which helps...

Chris Walsh Noisy that, even those of us in the Main stand were rattling our jewellery. Loved when we were taking the piss, poetic justice the OG too!

@mrjohncoyne What a load of shite, should've been six. Martinez out. @sounddave1981 THAT. WAS. SEXUAL! @Tressell1878 sometimes Everton you are simply beautiful. @JB_1964 Now THAT is Everton, pure fucking Everton. @FurlongFurlong as good as we've played all year, dominated from start to finish.

Andy Wilcock Couple of determined tackles early on and Arsenal gave up after 15 minutes, we owned the game then. Seamus Genius. X Mark Ellis Has big Dunc had a Clattenburg weave? Match was best for a long long time.

Derek Sullivan Every man jack 10/10 today!!

Ian O'Callaghan Magnificent from all concerned.

David Shortall Shame the blues couldn't have made more of a fist of the cup game against the horrible bastards but what a great way to ease that pain!

Steve McCourt Outstanding

Colin Regan Easy.

Nigel 'Jonah' Jones School of Science Carl Ryan comfy David Woodhead Immense... goal diff massive boost to boot Steve Grimes Couldn't support Arsenal bunch of ponces with bad hair.

Matt Haresign Sex wee AOTS James O'Neill I like the way Lukaku virtually impregnated Martinez after the 2nd goal.

Cal Alex The Beautiful Game John Mitchell A fantastic performance - one of the best. Loved Coleman's running keepie upeys.

Ged Backland Some proper stuff today, I'm sure Coleman's half wizard. Made up Arteta wrapped it up for us, the cartoon faced bastard.

Johnny Russell Lewis As complete a performance I've seen at Goodison. Each one of the players outstanding.

Alan Creevy Two magical pieces of skill from a former Gaelic footballer who cost a fifth of Wayne Rooney's weekly wage. And Barkley dribbling past Arteta, then going back to beat him again.

Team performance of the season.

#WSAGmatch

sunderland away #WSAGmatch continues with a match reports from Lee Molton alongside comments posted by you on WSAG's twitter and Facebook following the match. To get involved look out for the hashtag #wsagmatch.

The Blues started the game the brighter and took the game to Sunderland.

Deulofeu saw a lot of the ball early on but he struggled to create anything. Sunderland were not going to go down fighting though and made it hard for the Blues.

It was from a Sunderland attack that Everton broke and Deulofeu had Naismith in the middle and Lukaku coming up too but he decided to have a shot which was easily saved by the keeper.

Naismith was busy and causing problems. A great ball in from Baines and Naismith turned but shot over the bar, a great chance gone. Lukaku had another chance but shot wide. Sunderland did not really create that much and went in at half time 0-0.

The second half started with Sunderland on the attack and causing Everton problems.

Johnson did a great cross but Ki Sung headed wide. Barkley was brought on and almost scored at the far post but the keeper turned it round for a corner which was cleared. The Sunderland goalie later had a rush of blood and came racing out to head the ball and Naismith could only volley it wide. It looked like it was to be a draw but with 15 minutes to go, Deulofeu crossed and Wes Brown chested it into his own net and the Evertonians were delighted.

Sunderland did not give up though and had a few shots from Ki Sung, Wickham and

Borini but Howard kept them all out. The ref then blew for full time and it was another win for the Blues.

It was a gritty performance today and not many players stood out, Barry and Coleman played well and Stones, but my star man goes to McCarthy who was everywhere today breaking up Sunderland attacks.

@ecwc85 fuck me sundeland were shite @yesitswally Everton's on the up 'n' up!! Don't care how they go in... @milkyonedesign Bit of an omen my tee shirt choice for today. '7 & 7 is' #love @kis85 let's make it 8. @stdomingo No one said it was gonna be easy but so we have to make it so difficult ? @coppelli1878 nerves gone, Palace next, it's our hands now Blues. @felix_mitchao If last week was Sophia Loren, this week was Bella Emberg... but three massive points nonetheless @sounddave1981 we snotted them at GP and they spawned a win. Seems only fair we'd did the same.

Tony Laven Shite. But I will take 5 more of them shite games.

John Howley Fuckin Poyet moanin, an Merson givin us down the banks, so what, we didn't play well, but we got the break, hung on an am fuckin delighted. Poyet musta forgot how we murdered them at Goodison, keeper had the game of his life, and we couldn't score. Huge game now Wednesday, if we win we go 5 clear of the Arse.

Just keep it going boys, were all right behind yer.

Fuck everyone else, just concentrate on us.

Derek Sullivan We're getting a few lucky breaks and i for one am "loving it"!!

Mike Dunne Not sure where all this negative stuff is coming from, I thought we were ok. Not as great as we've been in recent weeks but playing against a team fighting for survival in a stadium where everyone is having kittens, it was always going to be tough. The team played with a real sense of maturity and that's a big plus. For me anyway.

@jimmyball8 She wasn't the best Lookin bird, but she'll do. 3 points. Get in. Never going to be easy. @TerryBlaney62 great result, would take 1 0 wins till the end of the season. Not sure my nerves could stand it though.

Paddy Howlin Not at our best, but we ground out a vital 3 points. Stones man of the match for me. A class act who has the potential to be an Everton legend. Great support today by the away troops.

Patrick Kehoe Cor you have to fancy this Everton team.

Benny Blue I hate being put in there at the top of that stand. For a new stadium it's somehow a really shit view. I was able to count the empty fading red seats though.

Nigel 'Jonah' Jones Sloppy!

Carl Reid shite Mike Williams Seven in a row!

Points are everything at this stage.

Karl Oskar Liljeberg sloppy, but we win against a desperate Sunderland away on a bad day.

Shows this team's strength.

Mick Palin Ridiculous. They gave Deulofeu man of match and he was shit Pete Martin A win is a win is a win.

Philip McHale Not very good and not deserved but who cares? 4th it is I'll take 5 wins like that for rest of the season if we must

Steve Grimes There's just no pleasing some people!

Yesterday's Grounds Adrian Thomas continues his Google map searches for grounds we have played at that no longer exist.

Oxford United - The Manor

Headington United, so this is the right road ok, just a case of where exactly. Zoom in again and John Radcliffe hospital comes onto the map, memory suggests that the ground was by this hospital, which may have been at the back of our end somewhere.

It is also clear to see that it was a very long walk from the city centre to the ground along this one road, luckily there were buses you could catch back after the match.

Ground When we visited third division Oxford United, thirty years ago in the Milk Cup, it was our first trip to the Manor Ground.

Zooming in again and nothing looks familiar, but to be honest, all that’s remembered is that their end was on this main road and there were just passage ways leading to the three other sides of the ground so not much to go on.

The late Heath equaliser meant we came away happy and expected that the venue would remain dear to our hearts for many years as it was quite likely to be our only ever visit.

Not so, as within two years we were back there for a first division clash that lost us the league title.

Oxford stayed up another two years when we managed two draws, they then dropped all the way out of the league but not before one further draw in 1999 again in the League Cup. Five matches there, no wins, thankfully we will never have to return to the Manor, but where was this jinx of a place anyway?

Can’t remember the names of any pubs, but there was one or two across the road, try and find them perhaps.

Search for Oxford on Google map, zoom in once and there at two o’clock is the A420 to Headington.

Ok, let's land street view by the Royal Standard pub, opposite is the Manor Buildings which sounds like it was built on the old place.

The ground was on a main road in this direction and their original name was

Result! Which is more than we got! The Royal Standard looks like the pub I

remember, but hang on, next but one, just down the road is the Britannia, was that it.

Either way, both these establishments were chokka on our first visit, though we did manage to get in round the back of one of them and fight our way to the bar.

There is a petrol station opposite, think that was always there, possibly with the home end behind it with a road to the right, which has clearly been there years, perhaps we walked up here from the pub to get to our section.

Soon, there is a bowling green to the left, Headington Bowls Club, vaguely familiar, with a fairly large new building behind it, one thinks that there used to be a small stand visible here. After about the right distance, the housing ends and there is a narrow alleyway to the left running alongside the side of a house with a wall on the other side bounding a surgery.

This is what led to the away end, but no way was it suitable access for hundreds of

fans, the pushing and shoving in the dark all comes back to me now.

Further up the road is an entrance to the hospital, there is no parking on either side and seemingly the road seems to just tail off into the countryside.

Back on map view, and the passage ways can now be seen in detail, the one at the back of the away end continued to the other side of the ground, to some housing then fields where the coaches parked back in 99, in fact where the cars had to park too in 86.

And it is now clear that the Manor Hospital, an extra to the existing Hospital, stands where the ground was, being the building visible behind the bowling green.

At street view on the other side, it's just suburban housing, some nice properties, plenty of greenery, not really what you would expect next to a football ground.

Which is why trips were probably quite Evertonians, it was watch the match and

to the Manor Ground insignificant for many a case of go there, go home.

And that’s all that can be said about the place really.

Next Issue – A regular 70s and 80s away trip where we did win matches!

Robert Maxwell - where are the football chairman of his quality these days?

everton & me A slight return to something we used to do when we asked readers the following...

What was the first game you ever went to?

Everton vs Sunderland 84/85 season with my Dad and two uncles. “Reid’s cross GRAY!” Everton on the way to the title, 3 goals from that game in the goal of the month on Match of the Day yet I was more interested in counting how many people had bobble hats on.

Who was the first player you idolised?

Gary Lineker. I was 5 when he signed and I was obsessed. Even after he left, whenever we went to Spain I would always get one of those fake kits, I’d get a Barcelona with Lineker 8. When the shared bus in 86 went down Park Road, I still maintain that he waved directly to me.

What is the one personal Everton memory you will take to your grave?

My Dad’s last game. Bolton 3-1 in 2002. He was dying with cancer and had been left paralysed after it has eaten through his spine so he was in the disabled section on Bullens Road. (I know it’s over 10 years ago now but I would like to thank the EDSA and particularly Steve Heneghan for all the things they did for us over the 11 months my Dad was ill.)

Despite being ill, he sat in the pouring rain, picked up a cold and got an almighty bollocking from my Mam who was trying everything to keep him as healthy as possible. His words, “As bad as I feel now, it was worth it” still make me get a bit dusty now.

Dad died in November that year 2 months after my first son, and his first grandson, was born.

What game takes you back to your childhood?

Blackburn in the 85/86 season in the FA Cup. Falling down about 4 rows of seats in the Upper Gwladys and blaming my Uncle Terry despite the fact I’d slipped. Going to my Nan’s after the game and telling her how he had shoved me and her not letting him have any pea and ham soup. Lineker scored twice as well.

What is your perfect Everton moment?

2009 semi final against United. Not the game, or the penalties. The fans that day were unbelievable, when Z-Cars came on at the end well, the hairs are standing up on me now just thinking about it.

His 2 grandsons are now 5th generation season ticket holders. I wish that camera phones were about in them days, Dad had fell ill working in Dublin and was flown back about a month later when he was well enough. At half time the scoreboard came up with the message “Robby Rice. Welcome home from all your family” I’ll never forget any of that day.

Describe Everton in six words Family, friends, ups, downs, never boring.

PAUL RICE L3

Jimmy Murray Here at WSAG occasionally we get asked to celebrate the lives of fellow Blues. We are always happy to do it.

Jimmy Murray, who has just celebrated his 70th birthday, is one such Blue.

Jimmy was born in April 1944, part of a large family which was half reds and half blues.

For Jimmy, though, it was always the Toffees and he has been going to the match regularly for well over fifty years.

Jimmy worked for Yorkshire Imperial Metals and ended up managing the Falcon pub on Bewley

Drive in Kirkby for a number of years.

His time there holds many fond memories for him and his regulars and Jimmy has taken the Falcon Blues flag on various holidays with him including trips to Australia (see picture above) and Dubai.

Jimmy has been a season ticket holder for many years and is now sat in the family enclosure with his grandson. There ensuring that the Evertonian gene remains strong in his family.

WSAG joins all of Jimmy's family in wishing him all the very best.

Up the Toffees.

Thirty Years Ago Highbury, Heath and Heaven April 84 There will never be another twelve months like it in our history, when, from May 84 to May 85, we won the FA Cup, Charity Shield, League and Cup Winners Cup. It will be thirty years since this soon, so a good time to remember what it was like as a fan during those times.

In April 1984, we had seven matches scheduled, but in reality only one was important.

Our great run of form since the turn of the year had seen us rise to thirteenth in the table so we were now going to be safe from the relegation fears only a few months earlier.

Our great Milk Cup run had seen defeat in a replayed final. Our great FA Cup run was still going.

One worry was that we had already played 23 matches in 1984, compare that with the 16 we played January through to the end of March this year.

Would tiredness creep in and were we going to suffer from injuries. Kevin Sheedy was out for the season after Wembley, his replacement Alan Irvine was injured in the replay, could we keep going.

The first match of the month, came on the 7th, at Luton, just one week before the FA Cup semi final.

It was good that we had not had to play in midweek, but it was still quite expected that we would not put up much of a show and save ourselves for the following week.

But this was a new Everton and we won 3-0. An excellent performance with Peter Reid, growing in midfield supremacy every week, captaining the side for the first time in the absence of the suspended Ratcliffe.

Alan Harper came in at right back, allowing Stevens to partner Mountfield at the back and a surprise inclusion,

playing his first match since September, following a thigh injury was Terry Curran. Trevor Steven also started only his third match of the year, it did seem as if we were down to the bare bones of the squad though as next in line for a call up was youth team player Ian Marshall.

He didn’t make the Luton squad though because he had played in the Youth Cup Semi at Barnsley on the Friday night, a 1-1 draw seeing us through to the final for the second year running.

At least one car load travelled over to South Yorkshire for the match, it was exciting times, you just wanted to see every game you could!

Two goals from Heath, one a penalty and one from Mountfield without reply saw us win comfortably though, at Kenilworth Road, adding more woe to one Luton supporter in the ‘orange seats’ stand who spent all game berating the fact that his team were planning to move to Milton Keynes!

Seats in this stand had come courtesy of an Everton fan in the army winning two season tickets for Luton in a competition. Based in Germany he was never going to be in England, let alone near Luton to attend a game or pass them on. They remained unused until falling into our hands via another fan prior to the match.

The expected let up, came on the Monday night with a nil-nil at home to Arsenal. Ratcliffe and Gray returned to replace Harper and Steven,

surprisingly Curran had kept his place and despite nothing spectacular now seemed a likely starter for Highbury.

Now I am not sure if anyone else has experienced this but the day before the semi final sticks in my memory as much as the day itself.

And it was Friday the 13th of all days.

opinion, then I will have to go with Everton”.

They must be close to his exact words, we weren’t even playing and I wanted to jump up and celebrate like we’d scored.

“Everton have the momentum, are a young up and coming side, I just think that on the day, they will prove too much for Southampton”.

I can still hear him now and it was a fantastic feeling, I was only a fan but it had given me a massive confidence boost. Couldn’t wait for the Saturday now but I still had to go out for a few Friday night pints first.

Early evening I listened to Radio One, the programme Roundtable which featured the week’s new releases. The presenter Richard Skinner also previewed the weekend's sport and his guest for that week was Bob Wilson the highly respected broadcaster and pundit.

How sad that as writing this I discover that he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, announced on the very day, thirty years on that I refer to – good luck Bob.

Not wanting to return too late, we were waiting for a bus back to Aintree when a mate offered us a lift which actually got us to the Valentine pub for last orders rather than straight home.

Anyway, after giving his opinion that Watford should dispose of third division Plymouth in the Villa Park semi, he turned his attention to the ‘big’ match Everton v Southampton at Highbury.

And another had a hat one, it suddenly dawned on me and was confirmed that they were all off in a mini bus overnight as soon as the pub shut.

In that wonderful voice of his, that had you listening with intent, he gave his knowledgeable assessment of the forthcoming game, something like this.

“Everton had undergone a remarkable change of fortune since Christmas, had been very unlucky in the Milk Cup Final, were playing great football and clearly fancied their chances”. “But” and my heart sank as he turned to our opponents, “Southampton are second in the table, are fresher than Everton and are equipped with match winners such as Frank Worthington and Danny Wallace with a match saver in goal Peter Shilton, not to mention Mick Mills and Mark Wright in defence.”

Clearly Bob was saying that on the day they would be too strong for us, he was right, it had been a great season but we always lost FA Cup semis so, oh well, don’t get too excited about our chances, don’t get carried away.

“However”, Bob hadn’t finished, “if you want me to stick my neck out and give my

It was nice to see a well known blue at the bar wearing his seventies silk scarf, obviously excited for the following day, but another fan had gone further and was wearing a blue bobble hat, the trend of that era.

The pub seemed to be full of Evertonians, I wanted to go there and then with them, forget the train in the morning.

It was a great end to a great evening and we hadn’t even played! But like many Evertonians I was now full of hope and anticipation that this was going to be our day, ‘we’re on the march with Howard’s army!’ let's get down there.

It was a bright day but not overwarm. The pubs were full by the ground, ours being

We’d had the most possession and did again in the first period of extra time, but still no goal with just 15 minutes left before a replay.

Sharp replaced Steven after a mix up when Curran thought he was coming off and even commentator Brian Moore was surprised, quoting ‘Everton are going to play the last period with four strikers’.

predominantly Everton, whilst one nearby had one room for us and one for Southampton. At the ground we had the North Bank with the roof for more noise, Southampton had the open Clock End. Oddly both stands on the sides had the opposing fans in the paddock in front of them, which presumably was due to the location of turnstiles.

Five minutes to go and all the nerves and worries started to creep in, not on the pitch but on the terraces and in the stands.

We were poor in replays, so was a draw going to knock us back after being so confident?

Would Southampton play better as they certainly would be the most happy with a draw.

Damn it, why did we always go out in replays?

Our line up saw one change with Sharp a shock omission in favour of Trevor Steven.

The match kicked off and the next thing you knew it was full time and extra time, yet again for Everton in a big match.

Both sides had had chances to score, well Adrian Heath had for us, but perhaps with our record we all felt it destined to go 120 minutes.

One chance I’d forgotten though was the fine save Shilton made tipping over from Steven. A free kick towards the corner flag had seen Reid cross it long for Mountfield at the back but it had evaded him and fallen for Steven to attempt a shot as the ball landed.

Couldn’t we just score a late goal for once.

Three minutes to go and at least we were still going for it, the magnificent Reid, carrying the ball from our own half and foraging on to win a free kick for hand ball as an attack developed.

One last chance, except we didn’t score winning goals late on, we were Everton.

But just imagine if we did, come on you blues.

Just as with the free kick in normal time, in a similar position, Reid crossed for Mountfield. But this time he was at the front of the area and headed it down towards the centre of the box, Southampton seeming unsure of where all our four strikers where.

The Everton fans could see Heath before their defence did and knew it was a goal before he’d even headed it.

Kendall telling the driver not to go to fast.

It was just a brilliant day.

Somehow I heard another respected ex player on the radio the next day, it was Jimmy Armfield’s co-commentary after the goal went in.

The main man, who may have been Peter Jones was expressing concern at the pitch invasion but Armfield just said ‘if you lived in the north west like me, you’d know what Everton fans have been through, it’s just an outpouring of much built up emotion’.

It just bounced right, positioning was perfect, unbelievably we had scored that late goal and had won the FA Cup. Sorry to spoil the surprise for the May issue, but we all knew we’d won it about half past five April 14th 1984.

Pitch invasions after the goal and on the final whistle showed what it meant to us.

The journey home by road was enjoyed by thousands including the team coach with Howard

We lost our next two matches at Southampton and Sunderland, before beating a relegated Wolves on Easter Monday and drawing at Norwich to finish off April.

But forget them, the month was all about Highbury, Heath’s winner and pure heaven for those fortunate to have been at one of our best ever victories.

Next Issue – May 1984

DAYS LIKE THESE He can't half go on, Phil Redmond WSAG diary continues...

Where were we?

April 15

25 years on our thoughts go out to everyone who’s life changed forever that sunny day. The anniversary has understandably been a lot more high profile this year due to it being the 25th and the fact that the new inquests, that will hopefully finally bring justice, have just opened.

Unfortunately, it appears that some blues on the net appear to have taken umbrage at this and seem to be letting their hatred of Liverpool FC get in the way of behaving like decent human beings.

April 14

Roberto is looking forward to another special Goodison atmosphere on Wednesday.

Palace are one of the form teams at the moment and will be a tough nut to crack. We need a proper bear pit on Wednesday to get us over the line.

My bottles going already.

In the evening, I take a rare chance at watching the stiffs in the mini derby albeit on LFCTV which I get as part of some package before you start.

Everton get a deserved point in a 1-1 draw after goalkeeper Mateuz Taudel fucks up royally in the first half. The young blues, playing the same possession based game as the first team, dominate after the break and Ibou Touray levels late on.

Stand outs for the Blues were Ryan Ledsom, Joe Williams and Jon Joe Kenny. None of them are anywhere near the first team yet.

At the end of the day, its one day a year and maybe a minutes silence, get over it.

In football matters, a shaky looking Arsenal come from behind to beat a disinterested looking West ham to climb back into 4th place and put the pressure right back on the Blues.

Palace tomorrow, is now a must win and whilst we should beat them, it certainly won’t be the formality most people seem to think it will be.

In other news, the media, in their attempt to sell off the entire Everton squad have got John Stones going to Chelsea or Man City, whilst Ross Barkley’s off to Liverpool.

April 16

A calamity, as the Blues dip 2-3 against Palace. Roberto Martinez made a rare fuck up with a bizarre starting line up involving all our so called flair players.

Whether he was forced into leaving McCarthy and particularly Osman on the bench over fitness doubts or with one eye on Sunday, it backfired horribly.

Palace, defended stoutly and just packed the box, and made sure our endless stream of crosses came to nothing. On the break with both Puncheon and Bolassie coming to the fore, they were extremely dangerous.

In the end, every time the Blues looked like turning things round, they shot themselves in the foot, particularly with the third goal where Puncheon was allowed to meander across the box by 3 defenders before setting up Cameron Jerome.

he got at the West ham game at the end of last season.

It was only when he landed at Old Trafford and started disrespecting the club that attitudes changed.

Personally, I’m not into booing, I just think it sounds a bit small time.

However I understand exactly how people feel and frankly Moyes deserves everything he gets tomorrow.

Afterwards, Martinez was bullish saying we were still right in the mix for fourth but at the moment this seems like a terminal blow.

To add insult to injury, Man City choke again and now the shower are odds on for their first title in 24 years. It's time for bed.

April 17

24 hours on and it doesn’t feel any better. Leighton Baines and Tim Howard are among those issuing rallying calls for the remaining games but at the moment it really does feel like we’ve blown it.

Hopefully, Arsenal, who it has to be said, don’t look convincing can slip up. Hopefully on Sunday.

In the evening the under 21’s wrap up their season by dipping 1-0 to Middlesbrough.

April 18 Tim Howard, who’s probably had his best season to date for the Blues has signed a two year extension on his contract. The USA number 1 is not everybody’s cup of tea, but in truth there’s not many better keepers around.

Ross Barkley has been shortlisted for the PFA’s young player of the year.

Barkley has come on in leaps and bounds this season. He’s still nowhere near the finished article though and hopefully will develop further with the Blues over the next few years.

In other news, James McCarthy should be fit for Sunday.

Today, Chelsea more or less handed Liverpool the title today with a limp defeat against Sunderland.

I fully expect Norwich to roll over again tomorrow, Arsenal to win at Hull and Fellaini to break his duck at Goodison.

April 20 April 19 Tomorrow brings the return of David Moyes to Goodison and already the press are speculating about the reception he’s likely to receive from the Evertonians.

No doubt, we’ll be castigated as being “fickle” when he gets loads.

The facts are that the vast majority of Blues were extremely grateful for the work David Moyes did at Everton and this was reflected in the ovation

Well I got 2 out of 3 right!

Liverpool edged out Norwich, whilst Arsenal rolled over Hull and to be honest it was with heavy heart that I walked up to Goodison today.

However, I hadn’t bargained on United turning the clocks back to the late 80’s and turning in a performance reminiscent of the days of Clayton Blackmore and Peter Davenport.

Everton were great and the 2-0 scoreline was as routine as they come.

United were though.

fuckin

rubbish

There’s players there who clearly aren’t playing for Moyes, whilst others clearly wouldn’t have got in Ferguson’s league cup team 5 years ago.

Afterwards, Roberto was rightly thrilled with the Blues performance.

The standouts for me were Coleman, Mirallas and the awesome James McCarthy.

monitoring role for Joe Royle who will keep a close eye on the form of our players out on loan.

This will be a very popular appointment and underlines how Martinez has bought into our club.

April 24

Sylvain Distin is definitely out for Saturday, but it is still unclear as to whether his season is over.

One man we’re unlikely to see again is Lacina Traore who’s hamstring injury is set to rule him out of the remaining games.

A special mention should also go out to halftime sub Antolin Alcaraz who performed admirably after replacing the injured Sylvain Distin.

Moyes meanwhile thought his team played well, which makes you wonder exactly how United have played this season, if that was good.

On a sour note, the travelling mancs demonstrated once again what a gang of meffs they are, by singing several chorus’ of “Justice for the 39” and “Murderers”.

I think they thought we’d join in and while Some years, similar to hear

Evertonians, over the have been guilty of behaviour, it was great boos this time.

We’re not your mates, you bad scruffs.

April 21

David Moyes and our former manager may be facing the push.

April 22

…And so it was. David Moyes is sacked only 11 months after he was appointed as Man United manager.

It's hard not to chuckle. To be fair, whoever got that job, had their work cut out and bringing in Louis Van Gaal or Jurgen Klopp won’t signal an immediate return to glory, not with that team.

However, it's clear that Moyes was completely out of his depth there and particularly after Sunday, his sacking doesn’t really come as a surprise.

In other news, it appears that Kevin Mirallas is also out for the remaining games after tearing his groin in the final minute of Sunday's game.

Sylvain Distin could be out for the rest of the season after damaging his hamstring yesterday.

This is another massive blow although one area where we do have cover is out wide.

Obviously this would be bad news. Hopefully Phil Jagielka will be ready to return against Southampton this weekend.

April 23

In other news from yesterday, speculation is growing that United have lost patience with

Phil Jagielka won’t be rushed back for Saturday and his return is more likely against Man City the following week.

In other apparently

news, Roberto sorting out

is a

The signing of the long Ivorian would not appear to be one of Roberto’s finest moments.

Meanwhile, young midfielder John Lundstram will remain on loan at Leyton Orient until the end of the season.

April 25

Tomorrow brings the first of what Roberto Martinez describes as our three cup finals with the long trip to St Marys to face Southampton.

The Saints are clearly a decent team who on their day can beat anyone.

However in the last couple of weeks, their form has dropped off a little and whilst this is obviously a very tough challenge, there’s no reason that the Blues can’t win here.

One possible reason why the Saints may have struggled of late, is the enforced absence of Jay Rodriguez.

A few weeks ago, the big wool hank looked a shoe in for Rio along with his colleagues Adam “bad tats, shit hair” Lallana and Ricky Lambert who looks like one of those lads who lives in Childwall or Aigburth and looks down on “Scallys” but in the process ends up looking like an extra from Towie.

Alcaraz and Stones don’t work, particularly away from home.

At the end of the day, we’ve only got a couple of games left and our skipper should’ve been doped up and strapped up ensure we gave it a proper go.

If he aggravates the injury and misses the world cup then tough fuckin shit.

At the end of the day, the Blues need a point to ensure European football next season and that has to be our priority.

All three of them were playing out of their skin, but since Rodriguez knee fell off.

Things seem to have tailed off a bit. Hopefully the two of them, along with impressive fullback Luke Shaw are looking after themselves a bit.

Maybe a good old fashioned kick up the arse early doors might give them further food for thought.

The Blues, for their part are once again beset with injuries.

Distin and Mirallas are the latest additions to the high tech medical room at Finch Farm.

In their place it's probably going to be Antolin Alcaraz and either Leon Osman or Aiden McGeady.

For the Blues to still even hope for a Champions league slot, a win here is mandatory.

April 26 Unfortunately a shocking performance at St Marys means that Southampton 2 Everton 0 surely signals the end of our Champions League hopes and now even casts doubts on our Europa league hopes.

During the build up it was tempting to concentrate on the Saints players having one eye on the world cup.

In doing so, I forgot about our players doing the same. Romelu Lukaku for one put in the type of half arsed performance that made you think he’d decided that Champions League was out of the question and that he won’t be here next season.

Martinez was limited in his options by injuries but again made a head scratching selection that appeared to play into Southampton’s hands.

The Saints are blessed with attacking talent and like ourselves have fullbacks that bomb forward at every opportunity. Surely it would’ve made more sense to include Osman and McGeady, from the start, players who can keep hold of the ball, rather than the more flaky talents of the still inexperienced Ross Barkley and Gerard Deulofeu.

As it was, right from the kick off Barkley gave the ball away and the next person to touch the ball for Everton was Antolin Alcaraz…

Spurs and Man United won today and their remaining fixtures don’t look particularly daunting. Do we really want to be going to Hull on the final day, with work still to do.

This season has generally been great. To finish with nothing to show for our efforts would be heartbreaking.

April 27 The City game has just got more interesting.

Hilariously, everyone’s favourite other team dipped against Chelsea at the tin mine with Steven Gerrard fucking up royally to hand the initiative back to City.

I’ll be hoping Palace can do something next Monday night as Everton must get something against the window cleaners to sort ourselves out first. In my opinion, anyone wanting anything else is a disgrace.

To be continued...

Another question that must be asked is what the fuck is happening with Phil Jagielka?

Apparently he’s been “medically fit” for weeks, so what’s the delay?

Martinez seems keen to make sure he’s 100% fit before playing him again but frankly

Stan Laurel

#WSAGmatch

crystal palace home #WSAGmatch continues with a match reports from Lee Molton alongside comments posted by you on WSAG's twitter and Facebook following the match. To get involved look out for the hashtag #wsagmatch.

Palace started the second half on the attack and it did not take them long for Scott Dann to head in from a corner for 2-0.

Martinez made a double change with McCarthy and Osman coming on, it gave Everton greater attacking threat.

The fightback began with Baines headed back across goal for Naismith to fire in for 2-1. The crowd were now up for this and Everton went close from Mirallas and Osman with the keeper tipping over. There was a sucker punch though at the other end when Jerome blasted home for 3-1, could Everton come back from this?

Martinez made a few changes, in particular McCarthy dropped to the bench and Barkley came in, it was to prove a costly change.

Everton started the game on the attack with Mirallas and Deulofeu on the ball, but they were finding it hard to break down the Palace defence.

Palace had come with a game plan to have eight players in front of Everton and keeping tight out wide too.

A counter attack from Palace and a cross came in for Puncheon to fire home for 1-0 and Goodison was quiet. Evertonians though were still confident that their team could win this.

There was not many chances though and Mirallas fired over the bar. At the other end, Bolasie fired against the post with Jerome shooting wide from the rebound.

Everton went in at half time 1-0 down, they were badly missing McCarthy in midfield.

They piled the pressure on and a deflected pass fell for Mirallas who fired in from close range for 3-2 going into stoppage time.

The fourth official put the board up for six minutes of injury time, but Palace held firm and kept Everton out to see the game out for a 3-2 win.

A very disappointing defeat for Everton at home, but they are still only one point behind Arsenal in the race for fourth spot.

There were very few good performances today, Barry and Coleman played ok but my star man goes to John Stones who defended excellently when others were faltering around him.

@sterushton can I start the 'that would never have happened under Moyes' bandwagon started? @Markstaniford Fuck off Everton. @kingofmicemusic Heard a few blues this season ask "what does James McCarthy do?".

Therein lies your answer. @mikemurphy1979 winning the league from here is beginning to look a bit tricky now @sounddave1981 from the sublime to the ridiculous in the space of 3 games. @fertile_shire Moyes appears to have come back 4 days early @JamesieMoonface choked two games later than I expected. Progress! @NeilHalton this is the Everton I remember vaguely... @WLHSTU This is a SHAMBLES!!! @stdomingo Yet another 'Referee' makes a bid for the worst ever seen at Goodison Park . Bring on Clattenberg!

Carl Ryan Bobby Blu-it.

Carl Ryan And well played Palace.

Chris Walsh Don't think any of us would have picked that starting 11, or the finishing 11 either.

The lady next to me said it was her first ever game and she was in her 60s, blimmin jinx!!!

Mark Ellis Why rest McCarthy?! Love Bobby but just don't get that. Thought he'd have learnt after the cup defeat.

Derek Sullivan Starting McGeady, Mirallas and Deulofeu, you would half expect one of them to turn up, but all three were well off the pace, Lukaku went missing again, we really missed McCarthy, I wasn't that concerned when I saw the team, but Palace offered more of a threat than Bobby thought I think, Stones imperious again though IMHO. Carl Ryan My initial thought was that he fancied a quick win but what a fuck-up. The defence was left exposed and credit Palace for taking the game to us. Teach us supporters not to be impatient with the usual ploddy-ploddy passing game. An expensive mistake by Bobby, but hey, European games are shite anyway.

Paul Bayliss Martinez reckons McCarthy was carrying an injury but about 6 of the others had an off night, we knew it wouldn't last forever but we've found John Stones.

Nick Ellis That shower of shit performance was a fucking disgrace.

Steve Grimes Except the Arsenal game we have been pretty poor at home for a long time. It's been coming.

#WSAGmatch

manchester united home #WSAGmatch continues with a match reports from Lee Molton alongside comments posted by you on WSAG's twitter and Facebook following the match. To get involved look out for the hashtag #wsagmatch.

Man United had a lot of possession but did not trouble Howard with any shots and the Blues went in at half time 2-0.

The second half started with Everton again on the front foot with Coleman having a shot over. Everton had a few more chances through Lukaku and Naismith; it could easily have been 4 or 5-0.

United did have two shots towards the end from Kagawa and Rooney but Howard saved. The Evertonians were taunting Moyes now and loving rubbing in by beating him, especially after the way he disrespected Everton by trying to sign Fellaini and Baines on the cheap.

It was the return of Fellaini and old manager David Moyes, could Everton inflict more pain on him?

Everton started excellent and went at United from the start. Lukaku and Coleman had shots that were blocked and Barkley blazed over early on.

The full time whistle went and the Evertonians sang and cheered all over the ground, it was to be Moyes last game as a couple of days later he was sacked as United manager. The day belonged to Everton though and another great home win for the Blues in their quest for European football next season.

This was Everton’s first League double since 1969/70, well done Everton!

There was little other goalmouth action though, until Lukaku nodded it into Naismith’s path who fired it over.

Lukaku then unleashed a shot which Jones blocked with his arm; the ref gave a penalty – unbelievable Clattenburg giving Everton a penalty!

Baines stepped up and placed it down the middle for 1-0 and the Evertonians were happy!

It didn’t take too long for the second goal, Coleman broke forward and played a ball through for Mirallas who first time placed the ball past De Gea – 2-0 and Evertonians were loving this now!

There were a lot of good performances today from Stones, Barry, McCarthy, Naismith and Mirallas.

Carl Ryan What happened to the grim reaper? Is it true he got kicked out the ground? Scandalous.

Mike Deverell School of science innit Chris Walsh Worst Man U team we've played in decades that. Grim reaper was funny but glad the focus was on how good we were. Oviedo baby.

My star man today is Seamus Coleman who was a constant threat going forward all game and it was his assist for the second goal too, his fitness levels are tremendous.

Derek Sullivan McCarthy and Coleman were both 11/10's!!

James Leyden Up the fukin toffees Steve Grimes Naismith is my new hero!

Wouldn't have said that 12 months ago.

@fertile_shire Crystal fucking Palace @felix_mitchao As routine as routine can be, and that in itself shows how far we've come. @Tressell1878 I want whatever McCarthy's had for breakfast. #everybladeofgrass immense today. @stvstheworld Great game, great performance, great team. Everton are magic.

ALLEZ ALLEZ ALLEZ OHHHH... @yesitswally Fantastic! McCarthy MoM.. again.

Proud of all of them today. Happy Easter everyone! @michaelh1985678 more dogs of war than school of science but enjoyable nonetheless @sounddave1981 we're not out of this CL race yet. @Paulwhittle8 what about it! Chuffing ace #fchansome @trcalder Played vinyl copy of Led Zep’s “Physical Graffiti”, sides 1&2, &memories came flooding back, all good; that match was the same @ste_topbalc best bit was the kickoff at 10 past. Leave alehouse at five to and in for z cars. @AndyIsOurKing Weird lot them mancs #trytoohard @IJRobbo Quite simply, James McCarthy is a force of nature.

Pete Walton McCarthy, Barry, Seamus all marvellous.

David Woodhead Great performance - fantastic save from Howard Phil Redmond United trying to get us to sing murderers and justice for the 39. We're not your mates. Bad scruffs' Mark Ellis Seamus Coleman quickly becoming a legend. Another brilliant team performance. Love the Roberto song.

Golden Years

A new WSAG list thingy highlighting past seasons. Continuing with 1980/81 • • • • • • • • •

• •

• • •

• • • • • •

•

• •

• •

Brian Kidd swapped for Jim McDonough Levi stripy long sleeve polo’s Andy King to QPR D.I.S.C.O Lee promising to play the kids George Wood fucked off to Arsenal Ashes to Ashes by Bowie Billy Wright’s comedy own goal at Sunderland Peter Eastoe gets us off the mark against newly promoted Leicester Strapover trainees The return of Alan Ball with Blackpool in the League Cup. A 0-4 trouncing at Ipswich Mick Lyons testimonial Appearances by Ed Stewart and Gordon West off a stretcher.

2-0 against Wolves at Goodison New Romantics A great win away against future champions Villa Start by The Jam Hunter leathers A ten minute hat trick by Bob Latchford as we batter Palace 5-0 A 1-2 reverse against West Brom in the League Cup at Goodison John Gidman misses a last minute penalty Two each for Latchford and McBride as we win 50 at Coventry Boy by U2 Two Joe McBride penalties beat Southampton

•

• •

•

• •

•

• •

•

Our new hero a wedge headed kid called Steve McMahon Baggy Trousers by Madness Nearly getting killed outside Elland Road by packs of denim clad Yorkies The adidas ST2 coat being owned by seemingly every lad in Liverpool between the ages of 1419 The Blues throw away a two goal lead in the derby Seeing hordes of mancs with wedges at Old Trafford for the first time as the Blues dip 0-2 Joe McBride misses a pen and Steve McMahon scores a blinder in a 2-2 draw with Spurs The Cockney Rejects get filled in at Brady's Big Bob does his hamstring v Sunderland and is out for the season The emergence of Eamon O'Keefe

• • • • •

• • •

• •

• •

• • •

• •

• • • •

• •

The People's March for jobs Imre Varadi scores a blinder at Stoke John Lennon RIP The Lennon vigil at St George's plateau Lennon’s shit new album topping the charts for seemingly months Sound Effects – The Jam Sandinista – The Clash Varadi scoring a late winner in a 4-3 thriller with Brighton Man City win 2-0 at Goodison on boxing day Arsenal, finalists for the previous 3 years at Goodison in the third round of the cup.

Murder in the Park End stand Everton win with a comedy Kenny Sansom own goal Peter Sutcliffe nicked The shower at home in the 4th round The Blues dip 1-2 V Arsenal the following week Paul Vaesson later to die on gear scores the winner Priority vouchers for the cup derby going for a fiver at school Adidas Grand Slam The Teardrops on Top of the Pops Everton 2 Liverpool 1 Being on the pitch at the end and getting covered in anti vandal paint off the fence Varadi and coke High flying Southampton away in the cup

•

• • • • •

• • • •

• •

• •

Vienna by Ultravox definitely not the best single never to be number one. Pompous shite in fact.

High flying Villa take us apart at Goodison Insurrection outside 6000 Blues to Southampton 0-0 with Varadi missing an injury time sitter The worst crushing ever at the replay which Everton foolishly neglect to make all ticket Getting stamped on by a police horse outside Eamon O'Keefe bangs in an extra time winner A classy 3-0 humping of Coventry at Goodison Trevor Ross and Steve McMahon both miss penalties at Palace The Blues still win 3-2 Johnny Bond's Citeh in the quarters at an all ticket Goodison.

13,000 mancs at Goodison Possibly Goodison’s

• •

• • •

•

•

• • •

• • • • •

maddest ever day off the pitch with fighting in town from mid morning Paul Power scores a late equaliser for City A young muzzied Kevin Ratcliffe sees red for butting Tommy Hutchison The Undertones – Positive touch The Blues dip 3-1 in the replay at Maine Road John Bailey scores an own goal to settle the Anfield derby in the pissing rain.

Tate and Lyle's closes leaving half my family on the dole Joe Jordan scores the winner for Man United at Goodison Adam and the fuckin Ants Adidas Trim Trab Steve McMahon gets his knee rearranged by Remi Moses at West Brom The Blues throw a two goal lead at Spurs Bob Champion on Aldaniti Brixton Riots The New Cross fire Thirteen dead nothing

Leeds, Leeds, Leeds

•

• •

• •

•

• • • • • • •

said Joe Royle slots for Norwich in front of 16,000 at Goodison Gordon Lee’s job being “under review” The ref limping off in the first minute against Middlesbrough.

The Blues finally winning a game, this time 4-1 Adrian Heath banging in the winner for Stoke in front of 15,000 angry punters at Goodison.

The Blues scraping to safety with away draws at Birmingham and Wolves.

Gordon Lee sacked The return of Howard Kendall Villa win the league The shower win the European Cup in Paris Spurs win the cup with Ricky Villa’s mad goal Ghost Town by the Specials Liverpool 8 burns More next time

#WSAGmatch

southampton away #WSAGmatch continues with a match reports from Lee Molton alongside comments posted by you on WSAG's twitter and Facebook following the match. To get involved look out for the The Blues travelled down to the South Coast for an early kick off in the hope of pushing Arsenal in the race for fourth spot.

A few minutes later and another penalty appeal when McCarthy was pulled back, but the ref again said no.

A Lukaku header at the keeper from a McGeady cross was the total of Everton’s efforts at goal. Southampton could have scored a couple more and hit the post from a free kick.

It was a very poor day at the office though!

Southampton started the brighter and took the game to Everton. With a minute gone, a cross from the left and Alcaraz headed it into his own net to give them the lead, a disastrous start for the Blues and it would not get much better.

Everton were not getting to grips with Southampton and they had a couple more chances before their second goal but Everton defended a bit better.

Another cross was played in and Coleman nodded it past Howard for 2-0, poor defending again and Coleman should have tried to head it away not towards his own goal.

Everton did not do much in the way of shooting and went in at half time 2-0 down.

The second half started in the much the same vein with Southampton taking the game to Everton and pushed up when we had the ball, they had done their homework on us.

McGeady came on half way through and got the ball out wide a bit more, a good few passes and Osman was in the box, he took it past the defender and was brought down for a penalty, but the ref amazingly booked him for diving.

It left the Evertonians very disappointed after an early start and long trek down to the South Coast, this could be the end of Everton’s Champions League hopes.

There were very few good performances today maybe Naismith and Stones, I could not pick a star man today as the performance was so poor.

We need to improve in the next two games and try to finish with a couple of wins.

@nicx62 One of those days when the players did not deserve such support @felix_mitchao Everton FC... creating new ways to fuck it all up since 1878. One match and a couple of injuries too far. @mattyjl9 'make us dream'?! The fucking whoppers. Oh aye, #wsagmatch.. Shite.

Ian Jay an away game against a very handy team...surely a case for putting Hibbo in at RB and pushing Seamus forward....??? hasn't Bobby seen enough of Deulofeu giving the ball away and not tracking back...??? and what the fuck has happened to Lukaku...??? think there might be a World Cup coming up...??? fucking shite today...end of...bah...

Mark Ellis Shit. End of season performance as if we had nothing to play for. @ecwc85 ahh bollocks. @sectorreport had a great view of both OG. Alcy just shaves it for quality. @sounddave1981 from the sublime to the ridiculous, back to sublime then back to the ridiculous. Everton that. @SamWhyte Baines (and poss. Naismith) worth a mention. Only two who played the 90 and consistently looked like they fancied it. @SamWhyte Two players scored OGs today and neither of their performances would rank in the bottom five. @PeterMcCole Too many players not turned up.

Sorry but Deulofeu, Osman, Alcaraz never 1st team. @yesitswally The worst performance of the season. Half asleep. @tubby_toffee we make Southampton look good. Bad day at office... happy with season overall.

Steve Grimes you wouldn't of thought we were playing for a champions league place. And Deulofeu is shite!

Derek Sullivan Yep Lukaku can fuck right back to Chelsea, talks the talk, but can't pass, head, trap, hold a ball up, work rate is abysmal, Naismith leaves him standing IMHO, poor today overall although apart from the two "goals" I didn't think they really threatened us, two game changing decisions the offside just after the break and the pen, you can never imagine this type of shit happening for Satans XI though, gggggrrrrrr!!!

Chris Walsh Better team won, it'll be AZ Alkmaar now not AC Milan.

James O'Neill Weak, uninspired, amature display. Barry isn't arsed now he knows he's got no chance of an England call up. Qualifying for Europe means fuck all to players who aren't going to be here next season.

Mike Williams Two injuries too many. Finally hit the wall.

Stuart Hill We are Everton. Thanks Dad x

@FergOShea No passion or belief, which is hard to comprehend.

Richard Osborne Alcaraz is a joke and Deulofeu is the most frustrating player I've ever seen. Too many injuries in the squad and Michael Oliver is a shit-eating, Kopite, Thunder-Cunt.

Phil Redmond Deulofeu and Lukaku can fuck right off for me

Jesus wept, are you still talking? part two Liverpool will win the league Yep. It’s going to happen, and sooner rather than later. In the unlikely event that they dip to a weakened (£300m) Chelsea side on Sunday, and they somehow manage to implode and balls the whole thing up this season, it still feels like it’ll only be a matter of time before they push on and win it soon, unless Everton can stop them.

Sadly, Cocknose appears to have hit on the winning formula of sending his sides out to score bucket-loads of goals, to compensate for that defence they’ve got.

When it happens, twenty four years of pent-up entitlement will spew forth into our lives, a force majeure the likes of which blues under the age of 30 are unlikely to be able to remember. Brace

yourselves for it. We all know they’re the worst kind of collective Rigoberts at the best of times, and this… well, this will be the worst of times.

So why am I dwelling on this? Well, mainly because we just shouldn’t let it bother us. Much.

I mean, obviously it’ll be difficult to ignore the milk-breathed, egg-stained-Kenny-coat-wearing prick who will celebrate a league title more than he’d celebrate the fact he’s survived this long without being humanely destroyed, the fucking meff.

But ultimately, our concern is Everton. Our interest should always be in our own club. The progress we’ve made this season has far exceeded the expectations of all but the most optimistic of Evertonians.

By the time you’ve read this, our unlikelylooking challenge for fourth spot might well be well and truly back on. And Chelsea might just win at Liverpool. And that would mean that City could still catch our blessed, bastard cousins if they win all their games.

If that’s the case, then I trust we’ll all be on the same page when it comes to ideal outcomes.

If we turn City over, there should be no mixed emotions about the repercussions of the result on the title race. The Telegraph focussed on this very subject a few weeks back, and suggested that there were Evertonians for whom a crack at the Champions League would not be enough to temper the fact that we’ve given the gobshites a foot up in their title bid.

Seriously. It’s why they call us “bitter”. We should always watch Everton to see Everton win, and no defeat should ever be celebrated simply because it fucks up Liverpool’s plans, especially when we still

You've all seen this photo, we first put it in WSAG years have something to play for. It smacks of small-time, and I’m sincerely hoping that ago.

the article is nothing more than an attempt What I didn't know is that Gerrard has claimed that his by the biscuit-snaffling, Chris-Griffin resembling arch snide Chris Bascombe uncle forced him to wear the Everton kit and that in attempts to turn a throw-away comment reality he's been a Liverpudlian all his life. Really. Honest. into a story of national import to satisfy his own local bias. The fat, shit-haired Of course it happens all the time. I'm always dressing up bastard.

extended family members in Liverpool kits. It's a great laugh.

If

not

–

well,

sometimes

you

need

Liverpool to win but even then, you never want it. By the same token, no blue should ever want Everton to lose any game, no matter what a victory would mean to the teams around us. Not even them.

Who’s your bird?

Here’s a picture of some handsome bastard on a recent jaunt to somewhere hot and scenic, complete with ludicrous beard (now sadly resting in peace somewhere between the fringes of the basin and the plughole) and massive Joe Royle/Dan Aykroyd head.

That fucks me off no end. I’ve dropped a reasonable amount of weight over the last twelve months, having finally learned to stand far enough away from the cake table to not be able to reach without walking over, and I adhere vehemently to my new “fifteen is my limit on Schnitzengruben” maxim.

But my head seems to be ignoring my (admittedly marginally) improving physique, to the point whereby a throw-away quip I made at my in-laws last Christmas (“I hate having short hair, it makes my head look like a coffee bean”) has seen me christened “coffee bean head” by my niece and nephew.

They only stopped laughing when I dropped their Harry Potter Lego downstairs. The hoover did the rest.

With the football apocalypse looming large and real on the horizon, I suddenly noticed just how many more Libpewlfubbalclub kits I was seeing in London Village and its environs. They’ve always had their share of telly-clapping, non-match attending fat-arses swelling the ranks of their support (yes, I know) but it’s like a secret memo has been released. Full kit commandos abound.

Every one of them sporting the emblem of our fair city. It got me to thinking of the legal battle

that ensued after an Everton fan challenged the gobshites over their copyright claim to the stylised version of the Liver bird.

Obviously he lost, as the council had more or less signed over the rights to the football club in 2010. It might sound petty, and in truth I can’t decide if I actually am being petty about it just for the sake of it, but I still can’t believe that the council has allowed an emblem of the city, no matter how stylised, to be commandeered by a football club.

It shouldn’t belong to us. It shouldn’t belong to them. And neither club should be allowed to dictate the terms under which we, the people of the city, choose to display the emblem of our city. So I struck the tiniest of tiny blows. I asked someone who knows about this stuff if he could print the emblem onto a t-shirt, with 1878 underneath it. He said he could, and he did.

Now, I’m not suggesting Evertonians should consider running out and breaching copyright laws quicker than a Kopite might forget the transgressions of Luis Suarez now that he’s all staying put and scoring goals and helping them win and that. I’m prepared to live the life of a copyright fugitive on my own, and let consequences burn.

All I’m saying is, it’d be ace if more shirts associating Everton and the Liver bird were seen in and around Goodison, just to remind the rest of the world that the emblem belongs to the city.

Not them.

Not us.

The city.

All of us. milo

THIS IS THE END Our final chapter in this whirlwind worldwide journey, a geography lesson of globalisation at the School of Science, will cover expensive food, Vietnam PoWs, a recently sacked football manager and being tipsy in church.

It will also, of course, feature a plethora of players from the remaining continents who have worn Royal blue.

Rather than link songs by Michael Jackson, here’s a more appropriate starting point: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COCCp62oAy4

or

even,

maybe

at

a

stretch,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk1wUKoXL20

this

We begin in Asia, a large continent that is and will probably always remain alien, apart from my best mate being from Hong Kong. When I was younger I dreamed of going to teach in Japan or Korea, had a bit of a thing for Asian girls, bought Onitsuka Tigers and loads of stuff in Muji, regularly ate in Wagamama, but over time the fascination with the land of the rising sun waned.

Since holding the World Cup jointly in 2002, Japan and Korea have enjoyed some relative success, and to a lesser extent even North Korea and China though it is doubtful a nation from that part of the world will achieve much more in the near future at least.

think there is still a chance of signing Keisuke Honda or maybe those Thai teenagers you read about training at Finch Farm every now and again, who knows.

We move further east to the Antipodes, birthplace of one of the more high profile players from the Moyes era, and still high profile back home and now in the MLS, Tim Cahill.

Much will probably be written in this e-issue about Moyes and as the news broke of his departure, my growing feeling towards him found was one of sympathy, no more resentment just pity, especially after eveything that has been said recently.

Going back to Cahill, he always seemed a good guy and loved playing for us, winding up opponents and scoring the odd last minute winner.

Occasionally I got frustrated at his inclusion in the team, as he wasn’t the most gifted of footballers but his value was huge, especially in some derbies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqaldWmUPEA

although many people forget his sending off in his last appearance at Goodison. Lucas Neill was the other player from Australasia / Oceania who spent a short time with us but he too, is perhaps best remembered for a tackle against Liverpool.

Aah, Liverpool.

Still, Everton has links over there through Chang Beer and before that, NEC and Keijan, we really have had some random sponsors over the years, and the third of those previously mentioned led to our first (only?) Asian players, Li Tie and Li Weifeng, who feel like a bit of a novelty now, especially when the former was given a half time appearance at a recent home game. I’d like to

When you read this they may well have already won the league: I don’t want to tempt fate, but when I last wrote and described the possibility as being akin to a meteor striking the planet, two terrible disasters have struck the far east, so I will try this time to explain how it might feel come May time, using a little something called “The Stockdale Paradox, named after admiral Jim Stockdale, who was a United States military officer held captive for eight years during the Vietnam War.

What a strange thing to read in WSAG, you are probably thinking. “Stockdale was tortured more than twenty times by his captors, and never had much reason to believe he would survive the prison camp and someday get to see his wife again. He never doubted not only that he would get out, but also that he would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of his life, which, in retrospect, he would not trade.

“Then comes the paradox: While Stockdale had remarkable faith in the unknowable, he noted that it was always the most optimistic of his prison mates who failed to make it out of there alive. “They were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go.

Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”

“What the optimists failed to do was confront the reality of their situation. They preferred the ostrich approach, sticking their heads in the sand and hoping for the difficulties to go away. That self-delusion might have made it easier on them in the short-term, but when they were eventually forced to face reality, it had become too much and they couldn’t handle it.

“Stockdale… accepted the reality of his situation.

He knew he was in hell, but, rather than bury his head in the sand, he stepped up and did everything he could to lift the morale and prolong the lives of his fellow prisoners. He created a tapping code so they could communicate with each other. He developed a milestone system that helped them deal with torture. And he sent intelligence information to his wife, hidden in the seemingly innocent letters he wrote.

You must retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties.

AND at the same time…

You must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be. (all quotes from a GCSE History revision pack recently delivered) So, to summarise – them winning the

league is not the same as being a prisoner of war or even like standing on a punji stick, granted, but it probably will be an unpleasant experience, potentially painful, due to their odious arrogance and the glory hunting celebratory mood the city will be swept up in, but with a positive mental attitude I do think we can get through it.

If it should happen, it’s not the end of the world as we know it, and shouldn’t detract from the excellent season we have also enjoyed despite a few occasions on which we have to think – what might have been?

What might be in the future? Those nil nil draws early on, the surprise defeats at home to teams battling relegation, the tight encounters against Tottenham and Chelsea and the heavy losses at Anfield and the Emirates.

Overall, we have played some football rarely seen since the mid-eighties, had some stellar performances from loan signings and initiallydoubted Irishmen plus bad luck with injuries at key points.

Compare this with other teams going on winning runs due to dodgy decisions, bad refereeing, awful injuries to key players in main rivals, strange managerial decisions thereof, more penalties than you can shake a stick at, convenient fixtures, about turns / personality transplants amongst previously erratic strikers, seemingly inept performances by teams apparently shitting themselves from kick off, and a media love-in willing them to win because their captain apparently deserves it.

Enough, already.

Let’s carry on – to North America, to be exact.

Tomasz Radzinski was a nice little player on his day as I recall, though in a team going through a time of transition. The only Canadian to play for us so far, in fact I don’t think I know any other Canadian footballers. However, as for their friends over the border, we have been blessed with several players to chant U S A! U S A! at.

The first was Joe-Max Moore, I remember trying to talk to his beautiful wife outside Goodison when I was a stupid student.

Then Brian McBride, another Moyes loan signing who worked wonders, along with

Landon Donovan who Moore must have talked to about me as when I took my wife to meet Landon at the Megastore he seemed to try to chat her up.

any time soon whilst there are other mouths to feed and nappies to buy.

He was a good player though, and seemed to ‘get’ what we are about. Finally there are the two goalkeepers, Marcus Hahnemann who didn’t actually play for us, and T-How who I have to say I wasn’t too sure about when he first arrived but has been a great player and fully deserving of his new contract.

It was funny that this should be such an extravagant meal the day before Good Friday, given what happened all those years ago.

Easter has come to be my favourite time of year.

Memories of Easters past, losing to Blackburn in 1994, the Hutchison derby, beating Tottenham, not to mention getting married on Maundy Thursday a couple of years ago: aside from chocolate eggs, there is much to enjoy.

Including this year, an emphatic victory over Man Utd, another reason to be cheerful and proud, though I have to admit my recent habit of missing matches due to family commitments, reached a new nadir on Easter Sunday as I was actually in church preparing for my confirmation.

I liked what Martinez said about him being such a good role model to the younger players at the club, even though he has some questionable tattoo, clothing and beard choices based on his Instagram postings.

All this talk of saves, facial hair and iconography bring us nicely to Easter.

This year, mine was a little bit different: the baby’s first, of course, including her first taste of chocolate (a mini kinder egg) but it also included lunch at l’enclume, recently voted Britain’s best restaurant. We had been looking forward to the event in anticipation for months and finally went on Maundy Thursday.

We were sat next to the titular anvil and the aperitifs of sparkling English wine and gin and tonic were being enjoyed when we were offered the menus. I had a rough idea of the price and a pre-parenthood me would have gone for the 21 course tasting menu at £120 a head, but pragmatism prevailed and the six course lunch was picked, we opted for the matching wines too, something that makes me dream of being a sommelier. You do pay for the experience but it’s well worth it. However, we won’t be going back

That I had had a few wines in nervous anticipation of the match did not matter, I managed to watch the first half and I got through the ceremony and my own testament fine, despite the sermon being delivered by a caricature of Ted Danson’s character in Three Men and a Little Lady and my first ever communion being taken from a vicar who had suffered from the effects of Thalidomide… all very surreal when the main thing on your mind was

whether or not the score was still 2-0.

It was, the rest for Moyes is history, and this slant on religion takes us to our final desitination South America – a very religious continent, where the sayings go that ‘God is Brazilian’, plus the famous statue of Christ the Redeemer overlooking Rio which I am sure will adorn many a TV intro over the summer.

Strangely, we have had very few South Americans wear the royal blue jersey, I am not sure why.

Muller came close of course but Jo, Rodrigo, Castillo, Stracqualursi, Anderson da Silva all enjoyed short stays on Merseyside with minor effectiveness but unfortunately none really impressed thus our links with the countries who seem to be favourites for this year’s World Cup,

as well as their neighbours, are weak and so for now it’s goodbye.

Due to their previous and current number tens I do like Argentina, and regardless of previous political fall outs, wish them well in the summer.

Of course too there is Chile, who have their own Everton who played us in a surreal friendly a couple of years ago. Similarly Brazil, who have links with Goodison not just from 1966 but from another game I went to in 1995.

But then, we can discuss the World Cup tournament in detail next time, whatever might happen in between.

David Foxley

WSAG May Playlist

London Hooligan Soul - The Ballistic Brothers It Is What It Is (majestic mix) - Rhythim is Rhythim Future Modular - Planetary Assault Systems Don't Cry For Me Argentina (No Compromise Mix) - Magic Mountain High Regret (Fire Island Mix) - New Order Love Is The Message - M.F.S.B. The Masterplan - Diana Brown and Barrie K Sharpe I'm A Wonderful Thing Baby- Kid Creole & the Coconuts There's Nothing Like This - Omar Contort Yourself - James White & the Blacks Shofukan - Snarky Puppy It Feels Good To Be Around You (feat. Air France) - Yumi Zouma Johnny and Mary (feat. Bryan Ferry) - Todd Terje Feel Safe - All We Are Wild Party - A Certain Ratio Smokebelch II (Beatless mix)- The Sabres of Paradise Let U Go - Marina Van Rooy Sangue Latino - Secos de Molhados What The World Is Waiting For - The Stone Roses Turn Back The Hands Of Time - Tyrone Davis

For more music follow WSAG on Spotify and This is My Jam

...beginnings A selection of the things we like that might interest you Simply Thrilled: The Preposterous Story of Postcard Records by Simon Goddard: This is us. All over.

Postcard Records, for us, is the finest record label ever. With Orange Juice, Josef K and Aztec Camera it burned so brightly over a ridiculously short period of time.

Thirteen records - one deleted before it ever came out - and yet each and every one of them is still a firm favourite.

Mozipedia and Songs That Saved Your Life and he's done a fine job.

He has interviewed the entire Postcard family from label boss Alan Horne to the cat who bangs the drum on the record sleeves.

Probably. Wisely, he has woven the many collected words into one long preposterous tale that positively rattles along like the opening gallop of 'Blue Boy'.

This is a tale of post-punk marginalised young people who create their own culture. It's a tale of starting a record label with just a few hundred pounds and a sock drawer for an office. It's full of contradiction and exaggeration,

where the difference between fact and legend is blurred by faded memories and fibbing. And you know what, who cares?

At times it reads as if the book has been written by a Caledonian Holden Caulfield.

Goddard has written a wonderful book. One which has you laughing at stories like Edwyn's first band The Nu-Sonics having to spontaneously play Showaddywaddy’s 'Hey Rock’n’Roll' to appease a baying crowd of Glaswegian meatheads or Alan Horne's own Altamont on the South Ayrshire coast.

What are we talking about here: A holy trinity - Orange Juice's 'Falling and Laughing', Josef K's 'Chance Meeting' and Aztec Camera’s 'Just Like Gold', written when Roddy Frame was something like 15 years old.

Amazingly despite such great records, the story of Postcard has remained untold. Until now. Simon Goddard is perhaps best known for his two Morrissey/Smiths books A ridiculously young Roddy

All in all you realise that you've been right along to cherish this little label for over thirty years and maybe now more can finally understand just what all the fuss was about.

I still have all the vinyl - and most of things each of the three main bands did after Postcard folded. I still have a letter Alan Horne wrote to a 15 year old me in 1980 to tell me that 'Simply Thrilled Honey' would be out shortly. Alongside these treasures now sits this book.

Buy it for yourself. It's published

by Ebury Press and it's available from all good bookshops.

Snarky Puppy: “We Like It Here”: The 2014 Grammy Award winning Snarky Puppy’s “We Like It Here” is an invitation to snoop around this crew’s musical world and find out what makes it so appealing.

Every track is like an Everlasting Gobstopper, the jawbreaker candy that begins as one tasty flavor and ends as another. The album’s eight tracks average at over six minutes apiece, forming movements, seamlessly segueing from one genre to another within one song.

'Shofukan' transforms from fusion to contemporary Cuban before finishing as a horn led, funk frenzy that demands applause. It is a live performance so, of course there will be gimmicks to keep the crowd engaged but they do so

effortlessly, dropping personal influences into tracks making the unfamiliar more comfortable.

Jambone, the lone afrobeat track and my personal favorite, doesn’t finish before the guitarist throws some Hendrix shapes in his solo.

If familiarity breeds contempt, Snarky Puppy keeps you content by not revisiting the formula of 2013’s “Family Dinner”. There are no featured vocalists on “We Like it Here”, and they’re continuing to explore musical territory and try new things.

From start to finish the performance is dynamic, allowing no room for monotony. Very enjoyable.

5 Television things we've been watching 1. Generation War: Our Mothers, Our Fathers - just started on BBC2 this German three part story

from the Second World War promises much.

2. Fargo - similarly this, Channel 4's new Sunday night offering.

Very good first episode with Billy Bob Thornton menacing as fuck.

3. if... - I have Lindsay Anderson's brilliant 1968 film on DVD but will always watch it again and again when it crops up on television. I love this film.

4. Hinterland - We've all watched many Nordic cop thrillers in recent years. This one is not in Swedish but Welsh and its set in Aberystwyth. Actually, there's probably not that much difference - certainly in terms of bleak landscapes. It looks very moody and dark. Just as we like them.

5. Mr Drew's School For Boys - at the time of writing this hasn't started but we're sticking our neck out. Mr Drew was the star of Educating Essex and here gets to run his own summer school for disruptive boys. All sounds very promising.

A Certain Ratio: Just one more plug for ACR's 'Si Firmir O Grido' to be the world cup theme.

You can sign a petition here: https://www.change.org/enGB/petitions/bbc-tv-sportsproducers-make-si-firmir-o-gridoby-a-certain-ratio-the-bbc-worldcup-rio-2014-theme-tune Steeple Pine: What's this? Well, Steeple Pine is the latest project from the people behind Distant Echo.

Distant Echo have been big supporters of the digital WSAG and therefore we're happy to scratch their back when it comes to a bit of promotion.

Then again they make it easy because not only do they have a great choice of labels but that operate with the highest standards of service. That means free UK delivery and same day dispatch.

The vision for Steeple Pine is to be the retailer of choice for the discerning gent. They aim to consistently provide a catalogue of the finest menswear - all handpicked to our liking.

For Spring summer 2014 includes exciting young brands like Tuk Tuk and Realm & Empire alongside heavy weights like KWay, Superga and Leeds own Nicholas Deakins.

We are big fans of Tuk Tuk who make some mighty fine shirts so we were particularly pleased to see

them on sale here. And you'll all know K-Way and Superga.

All in all a promising start and you'll be guaranteed customer satisfaction.

Follow the links to see what we mean.

Viv Albertine: ‘Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music.

Boys, Boys, Boys’: Viv Albertine has written a no holds barred, poignant, touching and funny account of her life that finally gives a woman’s view of the punk rock boys club as well as the rest of her adventures in art and music.

We know this because there's an extract in The Sunday Times today - yes readers I bought it just because of it. But the book isn't out until June so we can't say that much about it.

We can't, but John Robb from the

excellent Louder Than War has read it and has kindly allowed us to reprint part of his review.

Take it away John...

The title says it all- it is the pop dream in a sense and perfectly captures the brilliantly told tale of a punk survivor who found a niche playing guitar for the Slits and redemption four decades later releasing great stripped down lo fi records with sardonically open hearted lyrics.

This is the story of Viv Albertine was one of the key figures in the so called inner circle of punk-the tightly knit and unconventional circles that overlapped between the Sex Pistols and Clash when music and culture was turned up to a white heat of excitement. She ended up playing guitar in the Slits and helping to redefine woman musicians.

It’s about a year or so now when I went round to her flat to interview her for her own book because she couldn’t quite remember the whole narrative herself! More of memory jogger than an interview the three hour recorded chat was there to help kick start the book and put the thoughts into one tidy narrative.

Her resulting autobiography is a riot of a read. It is by turns funny, heartbreaking, beautiful, sad, chaotic and dangerous -it's about running with the likes of Sid and Johnny, falling in love with Mick Jones and Johnny Thunders and the mish mash of characters that were part of that naive and thrilling

time. It’s a book about fitting in and falling out, about being young and awkward and idealistic and believing that music could change the world.

3. Lady Day And John Coltrane 4. The Bottle 5. Inner City Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler)

Viv is a great writer - she may have a fistful of brilliant stories to tell but tells them with a perfect economy – like punk itself cutting the crap and getting to the crucial gist of the moment but always with a great twist and imagination, redrawing the key players of the period and round them out as 3D figures instead of the tried and tested cartoons - no longer do we have to believe that Sid was a tabloid oaf but a brilliantly original thinker and complete one like his best mate Johnny Rotten before drugs and the rock n roll dream took poor old Sid away.

Punk Football: The Rise of Fan Ownership in English Football

by Jim Keoghan This sounds an intriguing book.

We get to see Mick Jones as the beautiful romantic he is with a total belief in rock n roll and his love worn on his sleeve and Johnny Thunders more than the forlorn yet genius junkie - we get see young men and woman with a head-full of dreams and a fumbling naivety detailed in Viv’s self depreciating yet endlessly funny and insightful writing style that makes you cringe when it needs to and laugh when you have to and cry when she wants you to.

For so often the story of rock n roll is told by men. It’s great to have punk recast by one of the women players in its inner circle after all punk was about the women and it's this feminine touch - albeit in a punk rock very seventies feminine touch that gives a totally different slant to dusty old story that everyone must be bored of now and that's the magic of the book — it’s a new look in and a thrilling take on a thrilling time.

Not that it ends there – after all it is an autobiography and she recounts her awkward early days

Jim Keoghan is freelance journalist who also blogs for Sabotage Times on his beloved Everton. He’s been a committed Blue since the age of five, when his parents informed him that Father Christmas only visits Evertonians and not Kopites. before punk, falling in love with music and the pop culture, believing in the dream and then out of the other side of punk and to the present day with her marriage falling apart after she goes back out on the road and her battle with cancer which is an inspiring and thrilling triumph.

The journey is nowhere near over and the remarkable Viv is still asking all the questions and providing none of the answers just like all the great artists.

You can read more reviews by John Robb at the wonderful http://louderthanwar.com/

Initially intrigued by the rise of AFC Wimbledon, the supporterowned club set up after Wimbledon FC’s relocation to Milton Keynes, Jim Keoghan was drawn into a world in which fans have started new clubs, taken stakes in those they once followed and sometimes saved their clubs from extinction altogether.

I mean, most football fans have believed at one time or other that they could run their football club better than the businessmen in the directors’ box? Well, if you have then this is the book for you.

Punk Football tells the inside story of supporters who have actually gone and done just that. From non-league FC United of Manchester to the Premier League’s Swansea City.

Punk Football offers a unique and original study of the political, social and sporting battles that have faced fans with the desire to run their own football clubs.

5 songs by Gil Scott-Heron 1. Johannesburg 2. B Movie

The book has just been published

by Pitch Publishing and costs £12.99. It's available both online and in bookshops.

True Faith: True Faith is one of our favourite footy fanzines. We've been swapping issues for years and Michael helped us considerably when we moved over to digital issues with Exact.

Their latest issue TF111 is their last ever paper one.

Jim is happily sending us a review copy and has promised to write something for the next issue of WSAG so keep your eyes peeled for that.

Get Your Feet Outta Those Shoes by Stan Getz: Do you wear shoes that originally came out before you were born?

Are you a slave to the stripes?

Does your bedroom look like the one above in the picture?

Frankly, I'm bored of it all. I can kinda understand a forty-plus reliving his youth now that he's able to buy all the trainees he could only dream about in his youth.

But young lads?

WSAG ought to be at the vanguard of a movement away from the ancien rĂŠgime. You've called yourselves 'modernists', now prove it. This is your call to arms. Or feet.

Anyway, here's five alternative footwear options. Take them or leave them obviously. No sweat off my nose.

1. Nike Roshe Run. Very modern, very neat. Loads of different colours. What more could you want?

2. Buddy Bull Terrier. Previously quite rare but now bought over from Japan by Veras Shoes and

available online. Again loads of colours. Very swish. See here: http://www.verashoes.com/ 3. The Wallabee Ridge - an Oi Polloi and Clarks Originals collaborative shoe based around a seldom seen Clarks classic known as the Caravan. Lovely. Very lovely but I think they are already sold out.

4. Nike Free OG. These is lovely especially in blue. Presented here with a full premium suede upper.

And flashy bits that light up in the dark. Cool.

5. Adidas ZX Flux. Ok, one concession to old Adi. Only these aren't that old. They are new. And bright. The muted colours look a bit shit and the wild ones only look ok with shorts but they are still quite striking - if not a desperate attempt to steal back some of the market from the Roshe Run.

Like us they have been weighing up the odds of running against the tide and staying with print but with the collapse of the local distribution network it has been proved impossible.

Like us they find themselves having to make the move with a heavy heart but hopefully like us they will thrive in the digital world.

You can buy the last issue here: TF111 You will enjoy it as it's a good solid read and worthy of your support. and finally...

Given that we've got much more pages in the digital issues we will be able to give more space to reviews. Something which is very obvious in this issue.

Thanks to all those who sent stuff in, both pieces and pictures. It's great, we love it.

If you're in a band and you want to send us some songs, please do. If you've written a book let us see it.

Send us anything if you like, we're not too fussy. If you want to review things yourself, go ahead.

Join in. It's what it's all about.

Send anything and everything whenskiesaregrey@btinternet.com

to

WHEN SKIES ARE GREY is an independent Everton fanzine. Written by supporters for supporters.

The fanzine was first published in 1988 and produced 175 paper issues.

This season the fanzine has gone digital and is now only available on your tablet, phone or PC. WSAG used to be only on sale around the ground on match days. It's now on sale all over the world. Any time, any place, anywhere.

WSAG is now produced monthly.

You can subscribe for the next year for ÂŁ20.00 and you will receive 11 issues over a year. Or you can get the remaining issues of this season for only a fiver. Subscriptions are available here: http://www.freewebstore.org/WSAG/Digital_Subs/cat150030_1892561.aspx

On subscription we will send you confirmation and full instructions on how to download WSAG. As part of your subscription you will also receive all digital back issues free.

WSAG is a celebration of all things Evertonian. A celebration of this thing of ours. It's a shared experience and we want to make it an inclusive as possible. Join us. You can see a sample free copy here: http://www.exacteditions.com/read/wsag If there's anything else you want to know about WSAG contact Graham at whenskiesaregrey@btinternet.com.

Onward Evertonians. Please take a pic of this page on your tablet or phone and share across Twitter and Facebook or email to your Evertonian mates.

The ninth digital issue of When Skies are Grey (E009) was produced in May 2014 by Graham Ennis and Phil Redmond and Nick Jones with invaluable assistance from, Kieron and Thomas Regan.

Thanks to the following for their words, pictures and stuff: Jonathan, Adrian Thomas, Greg, Lee Molton, Stan Getz, Benny Blue, Dyson, milo, Tommy Molloy, Tommy Boy, Mark Finnigan, Natalie & Michelle, Tony Morgani, @Awaydays23, Pete Walton, Stuart Hill as well as all those who have send messages and tweets to #wsagmatch.

Thanks also to: All our subscribers, all at Exact, Greg Murphy, Saint Vespaluus, Steve Jones, Darren Griffiths, Daniel at Distant Echo and Dave Swaffield.

Condolences to: Kieron & family As ever much love to: Julie, Louis and Ruby; Nikki, Danny and Lauren

The next digital issues will be uploaded: E010 07 June 2014 E011 late June/early July