ESSENTIAL French Quarter Concoctions

By Joey Cirilo

The Quarter—sprawling 14 blocks from Esplanade Avenue to Canal Street, and from North Rampart to Miss River—is where one can engage in nefarious activities ranging from, but not limited to, disappearing into a seedy unknown 24-hour watering hole to quench one’s thirst, pairing bevys with famous cuisine, toasting to the famous architecture with a to-go cup, and more. The French Quarter is equal parts dimly lit bars that are dingy, magnificent, and awe-inspiring, as much as they are mysterious. For tourists, it’s an understandable must-see, oftentimes where the majority of their vacation will be spent. Wild hair? Going through a breakup? Shitty week at the office? Time to rideshare— it’s a French Quarter night.

Out-of-town visitors who pride themselves on their alcohol intake more often than not find themselves quickly overextended, desperately seeking out a dark alley where they can relieve themselves of the various toxins they’ve voluntarily washed back in relative peace before stumbling back to their hotel. New Orleans always wins. For example, when you’ve awoken in a strange hotel room with three individuals you couldn’t point out in a police lineup, donning nothing but fragments of what appear to have been a red dress.

Whether you’re swinging through the Crescent City on borrowed time but insist on hitting all the staples or you’re a resident, properly drinking like a tourist is a necessity. Here are the absolute spots you shouldn’t pass by—with signature cocktails good enough to make you miss your flight, kiss a stranger, or perhaps even confess to a bartender your innermost secrets.

TROPICAL ISLE - HAND GRENADE

When Tropical Isle owners Earl Bernhardt and Pam Fortner created the Hand Grenade, they named it with intent–because after downing one, you’d much rather jump on a live one than order a second. Boasting to be the strongest drink in New Orleans, once the Hand Grenade received rave reviews at the 1984 World’s Fair via drunken head nods and positive cash flow, it was only natural that it make its way to the French Quarter. They’re easy to spot. Look for the over-sized fluorescent green plastic container resembling–you guessed it–a Hand Grenade. Tropic Isle sure knows a thing or two about branding. Composed