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Prosperous railroad man ‘embodied simplicity’
‘Everybody’s journey is different’
How to help
There are many ways to help a loved one, co-worker, neighbor or friend experiencing abuse. Your support will be a critical part of a victim’s path to safety and will help create a violence-free society for all. Below are 11 steps you could take to helping someone in your life: 1. Call for help 2. Be there 3. Believe the story 4. Offer choices 5. Be supportive 6. Help out 7. Be a mentor 8. Educate yourself 9. Advocate 10. Speak out 11. Teach non-violence
Domestic violence, intimate partner violence, dating abuse and relationship abuse, does not discriminate. It can impact people of any race, gender, sexuality, religion, education level, or economic status and often looks different from relationship to relationship. First observed in October 1981 as a national “Day of Unity,� Domestic Violence Awareness Month is held each October as a way to unite advocates across the nation in their efforts to end domestic violence. Communities and advocacy organizations across the country connect with the public and one another throughout the month to raise awareness about the signs of abuse and ways to stop it, and to uplift survivor stories and provide additional resources to leaders and policymakers. Ashley Guthrie Ashley Guthrie’s life looks very different now than it did a few years
ago. The 32-year-old Hugo resident says her friends have always joked that her life is like a Michael Myers movie. “I have been in the worst relationships. I pick the worst guys,� she said. “It is kind of a pattern.� Guthrie said she has been in five emotionally abusive relationships, some of which turned into physical abuse too. Guthrie reconnected with someone she went to high school with. They got married, bought a home and had a daughter. “He kind of always had this underlying drinking problem and I didn’t realize how bad it was,�
G Guthrie said. “The d drinking got extremely bad, to the point where he wasn’t even hiding it anymore.� Guthrie recalled an incident where she went downstairs to wake up her husband and, in the process, slipped on his own vomit on the floor. She woke him up from a drunken nap and he got very angry. The police were called. “That is one thing (physical abuse) he never did. It is something that I used to justify a lot of things he did. He doesn’t hit me like my other boyfriends did. He doesn’t throw me at elevators or push me down the stairs,� she said. Guthrie recalled another incident while she was pregnant where her husband was drinking, depressed, and put a loaded gun to his head. “He went to put the gun down and it went off and went through our floor,� she said. “I told him if he ever brought a loaded gun out ever again, I would leave him.� She stuck to that ultimatum. One SEE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, PAGE 12
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When her father died Oct. 2, Mari Pew wrote a letter to Artâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s neighbors on Manitou Island. She wanted to share the sad news that her dad was now reunited with his beloved Judy, â&#x20AC;&#x153;riding the golden train of heaven together again.â&#x20AC;? She also wanted to thank them for being wonderful neighbors these past decades after the family moved to White Bear Lake from Chicago in 1970 when Art took a job with Burlington Northern Railroad. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Of the many options of places they were offered, it was the embodiment of Manitou Island and its natural, untamed wonders that brought the Pew Zoo home here for 50 happy, amazing years,â&#x20AC;? Mari wrote. Mari said her dad, she called him Boppa, was a humble and simple man who insisted his children justify in writing why they needed something. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s idea of fancy was a Radio Shack stereo,â&#x20AC;? noted Artâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s youngest daughter. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t materialistic and was always about living within your means. He never drove a new car. He had an old banana-yellow Ford Fairlane with rust. Yellow is a railroad car color.â&#x20AC;? Keep in mind, this is a man whose grandfather co-founded the Pew Charitable Trusts, a multibillion-dollar nonprofit based in Philadelphia. Formed in 1948 by the children of Joseph Newton Pew, who founded Sun Oil Company (Sunoco), the nonpartisan Pew Trusts serve the public interest by â&#x20AC;&#x153;improving public policy, informing the public and invigorating civic life.â&#x20AC;? The well-known Pew Research Center, a think tank in Washington, D.C., is a subsidiary. Art served on the trustâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s board of