Whitman Pioneer Fall 2012 Issue 7

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Issue 7 | October 18, 2012 | Whitman news since 1896

WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES Correctional officers join YWCA in march against domestic violence

by LACHLAN JOHNSON Staff Reporter

T

hey rolled in on motorcycles, decked out in heels, neon wigs and other finery, or came bearing homemade signs urging an end to violence. Participants of all stripes came to take part in the Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA) of Walla Walla’s third annual “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” march against domestic violence on Wednesday, Oct. 17. The march began at noon in Heritage Park on Main St. and ended with a proclamation by County Commissioner Jim Johnson at the Walla Walla County Courthouse.

The march was intended to raise awareness about domestic violence in the Walla Walla community, including the Whitman campus. This year’s event marked new coordination between the YWCA and Whitman groups such as Feminists Advocating Change and Empowerment (FACE) and Voices for Planned Parenthood (VOX).

“Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” is a nationwide event that encourages men to wear high-heeled shoes to show solidarity with victims of domestic violence, the majority of whom are women.

“I have a board member who really got excited about the ‘Walk a Mile In Her Shoes’ ... she works for the Department of Corrections, and there was a big push within the Department of Corrections to host Walk a Mile In Her

Shoes marches in communities where there are correctional institutions,” said Anne-Marie Schwerin, the executive director of the Walla Walla YWCA. “It all goes back to the proverb, ‘you really don’t know a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.’”

The YWCA has been coordinating for the first time this year with FACE and VOX to raise awareness for the march. The groups involved also hope to expand their cooperation on further projects such as the YWCA’s vigil for domestic violence victims in 2011 on Oct. 29 and FACE’s “Vagina Monologues.”

While all parties agree that the YWCA has been doing important work, some individuals felt concerned by the use of high-heeled shoes to represent victims of domestic violence.

“What could be potentially problematic about the walk is that men walking in high-heeled shoes stereotypes women and femininity into high heels, and it also does not ask men to further analyze their actions that perpetuate violence against women, or what they can do to help women beyond walking a mile in high heels,” said senior Diana Boesch, in an email articulating the concerns of other students. “But I would not wish these critiques to detract from the important work the YWCA performs and the benefits of raising awareness against domestic violence and sexual assault.” see YWCA, page 3

Rugby girls tear it up

by Elena Aragon Staff Reporter

R

ugby is one of the most unique sports on campus. Whitties have undoubtedly heard stories, know players, or walked by practices of the Motherruckers, Whitman’s women’s rugby team.

Rugby is a multifaceted sport; it is composed of a deeply bonded team and the sport itself has an intriguing culture behind it.

“It’s such a motley crew of girls, but we all just balanced each other out and drove each other to work and play harder,” said sophomore Emma Nye. Rugby is a club sport at Whitman, and the Motherruckers play teams from Washington and Oregon.

In rugby, the main objective

is scoring tries: A try is one of the goals in rugby and resembles a large football post. While each game is extremely competitive, the players enjoy their opponents’ company as much as they like to destroy each other on the field.

Whitman is not known for being a powerhouse in women’s rugby, but the girls bring strength and spirit to every match. The competition ranges from university to community teams.

“The teams we play are sometimes older, more experienced teams, and we have a great time learning from them during matches as well as hanging out after matches,” said senior co-captain Becky Nevin.

“We are almost always smaller and outnumbered but we never give up,” said senior Kayla Sua. see RUGBY, page 6

David Brooks draws crowd to Cordiner

by LACHLAN JOHNSON Staff Reporter

P

olitical commentator and writer David Brooks spoke to a large audience in Cordiner Hall on Monday, Oct. 15, addressing American political culture and the narrative surrounding the candidates in the 2012 presidential election. The speech was followed by a brief question and answer session moderated by Associate Professor of Politics Shampa Biswas. Brooks was brought to campus through funding from the Office of the President, and the event was promoted throughout Walla Walla and the state of Washington.

Cordiner is the largest auditorium on campus, but it was nearly filled by the large crowd, which included members of the Whitman and Walla Walla community as well as alumni, parents and visitors from farther afield. Publicity provided

by Northwest Public Radio promoted the lecture throughout Washington, and the Office of the President worked to spread word of the lecture through posters around campus, resulting in a significant number of attendees from off-campus.

One of the questions asked after the talk concerned the audience Brooks writes for in his biweekly New York Times column.

“The generational audience ... I actually have is ... generally experienced and seasoned,” said Brooks. “[However,] my basic view of what we do as op-ed columnists is that we get read by people in power, but they don’t read us [and change their policies]. I can only try to influence the next generation ... that may come into come into power. I try to think about the younger people [when I write] more than any other group.”

While college students may be turning more frequently to “The Colbert Report” and “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” than traditional media sources Brooks works in, a large number of students attended Brooks’ speech. Though Brooks is known as a conservative, he critically analyzed both Obama and Romney during his speech, using humor to hold students’ attention.

“I think he was refreshingly neutral,” said first-year Lane Barton.

see BROOKS, page 3

Dave McGaughey brews kombucha for Whitman students

by Sam adler Staff Reporter

“I

had one sip of the ginger kombucha and I had a transcendent moment where I said to myself, ‘Oh my god, I could do this,’” said senior Dave McGaughey. When McGaughey talks about kombucha, his passion for the stuff is palpable—unsurprising for someone who also collects 1990s kombucha books.

McGaughey first tried kombucha in 2009, this experience being the first of two fateful moments to help carve out his particular future.

The second came later the same year when kombucha—a nutritious fermented tea drink—was being taken off the market in order for companies to better learn how to control the beverage’s trace amounts of alcohol.

“I was in the store buying up

the last of it—everything I could get, because for as far as I knew it was never coming back,” said McGaughey. “I was with literally the last six in my hand and there was a woman there with the other last six.” This woman took notice of Dave, and approached him.

This woman took notice of Dave, and approached him. see KOMBUCHA, page 7

Dave McGaughey ‘13 has been brewing kombucha since 2009 and has plans to turn his passion into a larger-scale business after graduation. McGaughey includes hibiscus, yerba mate, black tea, oak and rose petals in his recipes. Photo by Bowersox

NEWS

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Nehali Dave ‘13 (left) and Jazz Campbell ‘14 participate in the Whitman Trap Shooting Club’s first outing of the year with the Walla Walla Gun Club, practicing technique and safety at a local range. Photo by Bergman

Whitman gun club takes another shot

by Evan taylor Staff Reporter

“P

ull!” yells junior Kemper Brightman.

A bright orange, bio-degradable clay pigeon flies out of the trap and—bam! A shot is fired from the shotgun and the clay shatters into countless little pieces over the trap field.

Whitman’s Trap Shooting Club met for the first time this year Saturday, Oct. 13 at the Walla Walla Gun Club for a day of shooting. A group of about 15 students, male and female, drove out to the local shooting range, which is situated among fields on the outskirts of town close to the Walla Walla Regional Airport. Apparently even among the largely liberal student body of Whitman, there is still a place for some good old shootin’.

Some of the students had shot before, some had been trap shooting and others had never even fired a weapon, but all took part in the sport.

“It’s great to introduce people who haven’t shot before, especially at Whitman—there [are] not a lot of people who are shooting,” said senior Peter Atkinson, the club’s president and budget manager. “It’s a good opportunity to give it a shot.”

After the group was taught how to shoot with a good stance,

taught how to track their targets and, most importantly, given ear plugs, they took turns trying their luck shooting the clay pigeons. “Trap shooting” is a sport that involves shooting orange disks—called clay pigeons— which are projected from a machine in the “trap,” a small structure at ground level in front of the shooters. Trap shooting was originally designed as bird hunting practice, hence the “clay pigeon,” a replacement for live pigeons.

The club was founded by alumnus Bennett Baucom ‘12, who decided to start Whitman’s first ever Trap Shooting Club last

year. Before that, Whitman’s only link with the local gun club was through the Beta Theta Pi fraternity house, which traditionally goes trap shooting as a rush event.

An official connection with the Walla Walla Gun Club was made last year when Baucom founded the club, and continues with Atkinson currently. He corresponds with Bob Bloch, secretary of the Walla Walla Gun Club and alumnus of Whitman, who is excited about having more college-age boys and girls come out to shoot.

“We love to see [Whitman students] come out,” said Bloch.

Students take aim during a Whitman Trap Shooting Club outing at a shooting range near the Walla Walla Regional Airport. The club’s first trip was Oct. 13. Photo by Bergman

“It’s nice to see people who aren’t really from rural towns come to Walla Walla and figure out that you can actually shoot here.”

The trap shooting club receives funding from ASWC to purchase ammunition and clay pigeons so that the connection with the Walla Walla gun club can be made. Although the club is still new, it is gaining attention and plans on making a trip every other week. “[The club] only had two or three events last semester ... and the word didn’t really get out, but then we set up at the activities fair at the start of the semester,” said Atkinson.

Atkinson is still in the process of figuring out funding with ASWC, which will determine the frequency of trips.

“I’d like to go every weekend, but I think it’ll probably be every other weekend,” he said.

John Lee is a first-year who had his first experience shooting a gun with the club this Saturday.

“It’s an experience that I’m glad to have taken part in,” said Lee. “I’m from New Jersey, so you don’t really get a chance to shoot guns like this. It’s definitely something I’ve always wanted to try.”

The Walla Walla Gun Club has about 125 members and is run solely by volunteers like Bloch, who say they are proud that they

are part of the oldest continuously operated gun club in the state of Washington. The club was started in 1892 at the cavalry post at the old Fort Walla Walla.

The newly founded Trap Shooting Club is still fine tuning a few issues such as the amount of funding they are allowed and their inventory of guns. Currently, the shotguns are supplied entirely by Whitman students, and although Atkinson would love Whitman to finance the purchase of guns for the club, it is unlikely.

The club seems to stray from the traditional Whitman— and Northwest—culture, which lacks a large shooting, hunting or gun rights following.

“It is kind [of] counter to the stereotypical Whitman culture here,” said Professor of Geology Patrick Spencer, the advisor to the club. “I’ve definitely had people look at me kinda sideways when they find out that I enjoy hunting. People—when they hear gun or shotgun—usually associate it with hunting or shooting things and I know a lot of people that don’t hunt birds very often or never [hunt them], but they do like trap shooting just for the recreational opportunity.”

Whitman’s own trap shooting club is open to any student, whether they’re seeking to further their hobby or try something a bit outside of their comfort zone.

Administration provides financial assistance, stands by policy on undocumented students by rachel alexander Editor-in-Chief

L

ast fall, Whitman became the first liberal arts school in the nation to issue a statement in support of undocumented students. This fall, the college is putting action behind its words by providing funding for undocumented Whitman students applying for deferral of deportation under the Department of Homeland Security’s Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program.

DACA grants a two-year deferral of deportation to young undocumented immigrants who came to the U.S. as children and have completed education or military service requirements. The DACA program was announced

by President Obama on June 15,

2012 with specific details and eligibility information released on Aug. 15, 2012. Among the requirements was a $465 application fee, which cannot be waived except in extreme circumstances.

Dean of Students Chuck Cleveland said that Whitman decided to cover this application fee for undocumented students at the college, as well as provide support through the application process.

“We felt that we had to walk the talk,” he said, referring to the college’s Statement on Undocumented Students.

Because undocumented immigrants can’t work legally, paying the application fee is often a challenge.

“The students that I talked to couldn’t really afford to pay the fee,” said Cleveland.

In addition to financial as-

sistance, the college has provided support for students going through the application process.

Cleveland said his office contacted the five undocumented students that they were aware of in early September and offered to meet with them about the DACA process. Whitman provided transportation for two students to attend a meeting held on Sept. 22 by the Northwest Immigrants Rights Project, which had lawyers present to explain the DACA forms.

Of these two students, one has applied, and the other has not told the college her plans. A third is planning to apply at a later date, while the other two students went through the process without assistance from Whitman.

The idea to provide college support for fees came from two professors, who approached

Provost and Dean of Faculty Timothy Kaufman-Osborn.

“This seemed like a really logical way in which a little bit of college resources could have a really big impact on students’ lives,” said Aaron BobrowStrain, associate professor of politics, who was one of these professors. “The administration was quite receptive to it. I was impressed by the response I got.”

The college was able to secure funding from an anonymous donor to cover the cost for students choosing to apply, meaning that no tuition money is being used for this purpose.

“I am very grateful to the donor who cares so deeply about those students who need the financial assistance necessary to participate in this program and who so richly deserve a Whit-

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BUSINESS

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NEWS

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man College education,” said Kaufman-Osborn in an email.

Cleveland said that deferrals of deportation will allow undocumented students to complete their educations.

“We’re going to have a group of students that will be able to legally work and reside in this country ... some barriers will be removed for them to obtain their degree,” he said.

Supporting these students may also help Whitman in the long run.

“Down the road, we hope they will become very successful alums,” said Cleveland.

Kaufman-Osborn agreed.

“Whitman will continue to benefit from the valuable contributions that our undocumented students can and do make to our campus and community,” he said.

EDITORIAL POLICY

The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student-run newspaper published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whitman students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman-related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting freedom of the press. In addition, The Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes Letters to the Editor in print and online.

SUBMISSION POLICY

Letters to Editor may be submitted to The Pioneer via email at editors@ whtimanpioneer.com or sent to The Pioneer, 345 Boyer Ave., Walla Walla, WA, 99362. All submissions must be received by 4 p.m. on Saturday prior to the week that they are intended to appear. All submissions must be attributed and may be edited for concision and fluency.

CODE OF ETHICS

The code of ethics serves as The Pioneer’s established guidelines for the practice of responsible journalism on campus, within reasonable interpretation of the editorial board. These guidelines are subject to constant review and amendment; responsibility for amending the code of ethics is assigned to the Editor-in-Chief in conjunction with the editorial board.

The code of ethics is reviewed at least once per semester.

To access the complete code of ethics for The Pioneer, visit whitmanpioneer.com/about.

The

NEWS ASWC to continue review of college chaperone policy Oct

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by Maegan nelson Staff Reporter

O

ver the years, policies instilled by the college have evolved based on their usability and popularity for the student body. Students historically have never been hesitant to take it upon themselves to be the driving forces behind this change. One such policy that students are looking to reexamine this year is the club sports chaperone policy, which provides guidelines and restrictions for club sports travel.

According to Athletics Director Dean Snider, the chaperone policy was created eight years ago to address risks posed by club sports travel.

“We determined, based on legal council, that if Whitman College was funding students to travel we were essentially responsible,” said Snider. “To manage that type of risk, we needed to have some adult that was traveling with [them].”

To combat that risk, the policy put in place requires a non-affiliated adult to accompany all club sports trips being sponsored by the college. Requiring club teams to travel with a non-affiliated adult maximizes the college’s prevention of incidents on student trips and minimizes legal issues.

“We knew that alcohol had been present on the road trips [and] driving had sometimes been faster,” said Snider. “Knowing this and still funding students to travel without supervision would be putting the college, and our students, at risk.”

Students have recently become concerned with the funding sources for these accompanying chaperones, and with the nature of chaperone travel in general. While there are many parts to the policy that the college legally cannot eliminate, some students would like to see changes made. Alumnus and former ASWC Athletics Advocate John-Henry Heckendorn ‘12 worked with ASWC and the Athletics Office to begin reforming the chaperone policy before he graduated.

“The goal of the chaperone program was to put older adults in position to oversee and monitor students during the course of a club sports trip [because] the College believes that young people are psychologically less likely to properly weigh the potential long term consequences of their actions,” said Heckendorn in an email. “The college has said that it added money to the club sports budget in order to accommodate the financial impact of a chaperone program.”

Last year, Heckendorn worked to address some student concerns and begin the conversation about policy reform.

“Through [Heckendorn’s] efforts, a Captain’s Council was created which allowed for a forum [of] leaders from club sports to address and discuss their concerns and ideas to John-Henry and myself regarding club sports as a whole,” said alumnus Thomas Siegert ‘12 in an email.

Siegert was formerly ASWC Finance Committee Chair. “From those meetings, one very prevalent concern was

the current chaperone policy. Many teams felt [this] was an ineffective and unnecessary use of their money.”

Historically, club funds were derived from a variety of sources across the campus. If a student wanted funding, they would have to get permission from entities as various as ASWC, the Athletic Office and the Office of the President.

When the chaperone policy was implemented, ASWC changed its bylaws so that club funding would be localized to two sources: the college and ASWC. As a result, clubs are able to gets funds more easily, and the potential for more funding is increased due to a collaborative effort between ASWC and the college.

“More recently students are questioning the need for this policy because it takes a portion of the total club sport budget,” said Snider. “My impression is that students are, understandably so, looking for ways to access that part of the budget [dedicated to funding chaperones]. But the chaperone policy is budgeted for that purpose: to protect both the college and our students.

As long as we are funding [club sports travel] we need to send chaperones, so this policy is still in place and we are going to maintain it.”

Although funding is a major reason students want changes made, concerns about the chaperone policy are not limited to the budget.

“Some teams had great chaperones,” said Siegert, who played rugby. “For instance, men’s rugby has always used their former coach Eric

McAlvey as a chaperone. He was very knowledgeable about the game and helped out as best he could on the sidelines of the events. Other teams, however, had chaperones that were unknowledgeable about their sport and, frankly, gave off the impression that they were very uninterested in being a chaperone anyways.”

It is issues like this that current ASWC Athletics Advocate Molly Blust hopes to address in the future, in addition to solving financial concerns.

“This year we decided that we are going to improve the policy instead of eliminate it, so that teams are happier with the policy as it is,” said Blust. “Right now, it is something that we are working towards and it is a project, but we haven’t done anything yet with it as of this year. [More headway will be made] within the next few months.”

Corrections to Issue 6

In the article “GlobeMed grows through trip to Thailand” in Issue 6, contributed photos should have been attributed to Abbey McGrath and Colleen Bell should have been listed as a junior.

In the article “Men’s tennis seeks sixth straight title” the national tournament should have been reported as happening Oct. 10-14.

NUMBERS

IN THE NEWS by emily lin-jones News Editor

61

Deaths in Washington state in 2011 as a result of domestic violence.

SOURCE: wscadv.org

628

Domestic violence-related homicides in the state of Washington since 1997.

SOURCE: wscadv.org

19.7

Percentage of domestic violence homicide victims in Washington in 2011 who were born outside of the United States.

SOURCE: wscadv.org

72

Percentage of 2011 immigrant and refugee domestic violence homicide victims in Washington with high school degrees.

SOURCE: wscadv.org

18

Percentage of immigrant and refugee domestic violence homicide victims who had a degree from a 4-year college.

SOURCE: wscadv.org

35

Percentage of surveyed domestic violence survivors in Washington state shelters who described their education level as “some college.”

SOURCE: wscadv.org

Brooks lecture discusses elections, political climate through moral lens from BROOKS, page 1

New York Times columnist David Brooks spoke on election politics in Cordiner on Monday. Photo by Mellema

“When he had opinions he would make sure that it was known that they were opinions, and he would say that ‘I believe in it this way, but you have the right to view it the other way.’”

Brooks spoke about the differences between the generations in his speech, noting that while narcissism has risen steeply since his generation, a whole host of other factors such as teenage pregnancy and crime rate are in decline. He also addressed issues surrounding each candidate, particularly the toll the presiden-

President Bridges talks goals, challenges in annual ‘State of the College’ address by rachel alexander Editor-in-Chief

P

resident Bridges addressed staff, faculty and select students in a State of the College address given on Friday, Oct. 12.

While the President has in the past given some form of an annual report to the college’s staff and faculty, this is the first year that a formal State of the College address has been given to a group containing faculty, staff and students. Resident advisors, student academic advisors and members of ASWC were among the students invited to attend, and Bridges said that he hopes to make this address an annual event and include more students in the future.

In his address, President Bridges outlined four major goals that he said have been the focus of his administration—enriching Whitman’s academic program, improving diversity on campus, increasing national rec-

ognition of the college and leading the Now is the Time campaign to improve Whitman’s financial strength.

While noting that the college has made significant progress in each of these fields, Bridges also outlined several challenges Whitman faces today. Among those discussed were the fact that the college has experienced a declining pool of applicants over the past three years. Retention of female faculty and faculty of color was also discussed, as well as the need for the Student Engagement Center to improve services for students to explore post-graduation opportunities.

In spite of these challenges, President Bridges is confident that the college will thrive in the coming years.

“We have weathered the storm, our future is bright, and Whitman College will continue to thrive and advance in guiding and transforming the lives of our students,” he said.

ASWC MINUTES 10/14 Passed six resolutions as a slate that were pending executive approval. 16-0-3 Ratified Whitman College Mock Trial Association as an ASWC-recognized club.

17-0-2

cy has taken on President Obama and Romney’s struggle running as a non-ideological man in an extremely partisan election.

“I think we have two genuinely good men running. I’ve covered them both a fair amount of times and seen them in many different circumstances, public and private, shared meals with them, and they’re both human.

If they were not running for office you’d be very impressed by either of them,” said Brooks.

Brooks’ personal experience with the candidates and his role as a major political com-

mentator in the national media were major motivations behind President George Bridges’ choice to invite him to campus as part of the presidential debate lecture series funded by the Office of the President.

“It’s very important to ensure that we as a campus engage the issues that are being discussed in the election,” said President Bridges. “I’ve heard David speak before; his writing is very thoughtful and he has engaging ideas.”

President Bridges asked Assistant Professor of Politics

Shampa Biswas to act as moderator for the lecture. Biswas introduced Brooks before his lecture, and provided several questions of her own during the Q&A session before taking questions for the audience.

“I have read his columns for a long time. I think he’s a very important political commentator.

He’s an interesting thinker and I’ve enjoyed his interventions into many different political debates even when I have disagreed with them. So it seemed like a great opportunity to have a conversation with him,” said Biswas.

YWCA, allies dress up to raise domestic violence awareness from YWCA, page 1

For many participants in the event, the costume aspect of the event was a fun way to gain more visibility for a serious problem.

“We all wanted to make sure [this issue] was represented,” said Shane Maitland, one of several employees of the Washington State Penitentiary who donned heels and skirts to lead the procession down Main St. “It’s something we see, unfortunately, the effects of every day ... If we’re asked to dress up [to raise awareness] we’re more than happy to do that.”

The YWCA aims to raise awareness in the entire Walla Walla community, including Whitman. Domestic violence occurs in all sectors of society, and is not limited by economic class or level of education.

Though partner violence happens to a small portion of the student body, it is present on campus.

“A lot of the time one of the partners in the relationship tries to control the other person.

It’s things like [when the partner] cuts them off from their oth-

er friends, is very disapproving if they want to go out, micromanages what they wear, where they go, who they talk to [and] how they spend their free time,” said Sexual Misconduct Prevention Coordinator Barbara Maxwell. “If you’re that person’s friend, are you seeing anything in their behavior change?

If one person always came to eat lunch with you every Friday and suddenly [you] don’t see them [and] they haven’t called to explain why they’re not coming, that might raise some concerns.”

Part of Maxwell’s work as Sexual Misconduct Prevention Coordinator is to raise awareness about partner violence on campus. Partner violence is not limited to heterosexual relationships where the male abuses the female; while women are the most frequent victims of domestic violence, abuse can also be carried out on a man by a woman or in homosexual relationships.

“I think for a lot of people [the first step is] suspending that sense that ‘it would never happen to my friends, or hap-

pen to anybody I know,’” said Maxwell. “It could. And it might. And it might be occurring right now and you just don’t know about it. But if you have that attitude, you’ll never see it.”

Wednesday’s march ended in front of the Walla Walla County Courthouse with closing remarks from Schwerin and County Commissioner Jim Johnson, who read a proclamation resolving to spread awareness about domestic violence that will be incorporated by the commission on Monday, Oct. 22.

Schwerin and Johnson cited several statistics, including the 61 domestic violencerelated deaths in Washington in 2011, and urged attendees to take personal action.

“Domestic violence is not just a family problem; it’s a community problem,” said Schwerin to the crowd. “Tell somebody about what you did today ... That’s the way the news will spread.”

The YWCA will hold a vigil for victims of domestic violence on Oct. 29 at the Land Title Plaza on Main St., at 5:30 p.m.

Approved request of $700 from Student Travel & Development Fund to cover half of salary of Outdoor Program intern Heather Domonoske. 16-1-2 Passed resolution to join national project Athlete Allies, advocate against homophobia in team sports. 17-0-2 Passed amendment to Article II, Section 6B2 iv in bylaws, 17-0-2. Failed to pass amendment to communications bylaw that would prevent senators from holding position in ASWC Communications Department. 10-7-2

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Employees of Washington State Penitentiary march down Main St. to show support for domestic violence victims. Photo by Felt

OPINION

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Obama’s pro-coup politics must be public, condemned

by HEnry Gales ‘13 Guest Columnist

O

n Feb. 29, 2004, U.S. military personnel put Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide onto a plane and flew him to the Central African Republic. After being reelected in 2000, Aristide had continued to make enemies of powerful governments by refusing to privatize Haiti’s utility companies (a demand pushed

by George W. Bush and Bill Clinton) and demanding that France return the reparations it took from Haiti in 1825 (approximately 13 billion dollars in today’s money).

Aristide returned to Haiti on March 18, 2011, despite President Obama’s phone calls to the South African president demanding that Aristide be prevented from leaving his exile in South Africa. Elections were currently underway in which Aristide and the Fanmi Lavalas political party were deliberately excluded to secure a right-wing, probusiness victory, and Obama was concerned that Aristide’s presence might destabilize this process.

Many who identify as liberal or left-of-center wash away all hesitations for supporting Obama by saying that we only have two choices, and that Obama is clear-

ly the better one. This is a dangerously slippery slope, made much worse by t h e profound silence that began the minute Bush stepped down in 2009.

As the presidential elections kick into full gear, I become more nostalgic for the Bush years, when one could walk through liberal America

and see people mocking the Republican calls for a border wall, critically examining the idea of “bringing democracy” to Iraq and Afghanistan and lamenting the totalitarian measures that put unchecked power in the hands of the president.

Nowadays, in spite of the fact that these things have either worsened or stayed the same, harsh

criticism of the White House’s foreign policy is difficult to come by and often met with Obama apologism: The state of af-

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fairs is far from perfect, but it’s getting better.

However, evidence of betterment is much harder to find in the foreign policy realm than it is at home. Obama has laid the legal ground for an unchecked growth of extrajudicial executions, pulled out the

big guns on the U.S.-Mexico border and arguably screwed Haiti much harder than his predecessor through harsh economic reforms, including the eviction of farmers in Caracol, Haiti to build a massive sweatshop complex.

Like it or not, the coup-plotting, violence and economic impositions continue. This is especially true in Latin America, which has seen the rise of many anti-imperialist presidents since the ‘90s and two U.S.-supported coups under Obama: Honduras in 2009 and Paraguay in 2012.

I don’t prescribe specific solutions to the centuries of poverty that Haiti, Paraguay, Honduras and other nations have suffered, and I do not intend to extend unconditional support for Aristide and other presidents. But I know that solutions will never be possible if the fomentation of coups and political instability continues; these goals can only be achieved

through democracy and cooperation. And I know that Democratic and Republican presidents alike will continue with their coups as long as they can depend on our ideological and electoral support.

Before casting your vote this November for the lesser of two evils, I would encourage you to take a long, hard look at Obama’s foreign policy (there are hyperlinks in the online version of this article to help get you started). Remember, the “two choices” paradigm was not ordained by God, nor is it evident anywhere on the ballot or in the voter’s guide.

The idea that we must choose between two parties that plot coups, orchestrate sham elections and put up sweatshops is an idea that was created and is sustained by a collective refusal to think outside the two-party system.

It’s time to stop blaming our electoral choices on the powers that be, and it’s time to start looking at our own refusal to condemn each and every president with the vehemence warranted by their imperialist politics.

If you ask me, that condemnation starts with verbal denouncement and casting your vote for a candidate (whichever one that may be) who is definitively anti-coup.

Have an opinion to share? The Pioneer is soliciting guest columns and letters to the editor! Send yours to: editors@whitmanpioneer.com

Diversity means Not having cross-pollination sex is okay Paul HamiltonPennell Senior

MARGINALIA

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e can all agree that diversity is valuable. But can we say why or what the word really means in the context of an intellectual community? The truth is, even our ideas about diversity are homogeneous.

The word most often means the coexistence of people from a variety of races, classes and genders. But this idea, embracing difference for the sake of difference, somewhat misses the point, and even reinforces the prejudices that we are supposedly trying to overcome. “Multiculturalism,” for example, places greater emphasis on skin color, country of origin and other such categorizations than it does on the most important characteristics of an individual: unique patterns of mind, varieties of experience and radical divergence of world views.

The value of diversity for our community is educational: Intellectual diversity opens our minds.

This is expressed succinctly by

the clever adage “cross-pollination helps grow ideas.” Consider how the idea of cross-pollination is itself the product of mixed disciplines, a carry-over from biology applied to the human world.

In fact, diversity is not primarily a social characteristic; biodiversity is the single most important factor determining the health of an ecosystem. Widely varied diets provide the best nutrition; genetic diversity ensures the longterm success of a species, despite disease and environmental strain.

A long trend of neurological research (beginning with Donald Hebb in 1947 and notably furthered by Mark Rosenzweig in 1960) shows a staggeringly robust correlation between rich environmental variance and the complexity and extent of neurological development. In other words, the more various your experiences and surroundings, the grander a mind you’ll grow.

If we consider these other senses of the word, we see that the goal of diversity for a community like Whitman is a kind of intellectual syncretism, whereby each individual is exposed to numerous perspectives and can examine, weigh and integrate them into a broad, new understanding.

Take a prominent example: We insist on the importance of racial diversity, largely as a response to the continuing problem of racial inequality. But we learn from singular individuals,

Political Cartoon by Maggie Appleton

not from “people of color” per se. I don’t care if you’re white, or black or blue, for that matter. It is this very insistence on the importance of racial identity (or ethnic, or sexual or economic) over individual identity which makes it impossible for diversity to actually matter to us, and which leads to continued oppression despite even our best intentions. To overcome racial discrimination, we need to look beyond such differences to the underlying, fundamentally human characteristics that bind us all together. At heart, we are all the same—we are equally unique, equally different.

To value diversity as the coexistence of “cultural others” is to close ourselves off to the possibility presented by radical, new perspectives. To praise the Other is to hold it at arm’s length, to pretend desegregation means integration.

It is not because people are black, or Muslim, or bisexual or poor that they deserve our attention and acceptance, but because they are foremost just people. If they have grown up in a world fundamentally different from our own, then they have something to teach us: not what it means to be different, but what it means to be equally human, despite all our outward traits and divergent cultures.

This is all the more plainly true regarding our understanding of gender and sexuality: We understand attraction within the confines of homo- and heterosexual distinctions. Those who do not fit neatly into either category feel pressured to label themselves, hence the acronym LGBT proliferating into QUILTBAG. These diverse identities are showing us not that we need more labels, but that we should simply allow our attractions and impulses to guide how we interact, whether with partners or friends. Not all human tendencies can, or should, be categorized.

The same is true of religious, economic and even age discrepancies. When we emphasize such distinctions, we are only affirming our differences and limiting what we could understand through one another. Only by approaching each other first as equals, all the same in our uniqueness, may we overcome the prejudices that hinder our insights. Only by looking beyond the sheer face of difference may we begin to discover, discuss and develop our most unique and compelling ideas on their own terms. In this way, we establish a community on the basis of mutual growth, rather than mutual difference. That is cross-pollination. That is truly how we learn.

Spencer Wharton Senior

SEXCETERA

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hen it comes to relationships, Whitties either go for short-term hookups or long-term commitments, or so it’s said. Regardless of which you go for, however, there tend to be underlying expectations of sex.

Leave a party with someone and we expect that means the night’s ending with sex. Date someone for so long, and sex, it seems, practically becomes mandatory (“You’ve been dating for how long and you still haven’t done it?”).

For some people, this works without problem. But this isn’t always the case, and relying uncritically on these expectations can create big problems for anyone who, for whatever reason, at whatever time, just doesn’t want sex. Generally speaking, Whitman’s a sex-friendly place, but in our eagerness to promote healthy, sex-positive attitudes, we have to be careful not to overlook or disparage those who aren’t sexual. Sex is not on everyone’s list, and we owe it to ourselves and others to recognize that that’s perfectly okay.

To be sure, sex can be powerful, intimate and fun. We live in a culture that teaches us to deny and be ashamed of our sexualities, and it’s important to fight that with the radical notion that sexuality is perfectly fine. But there’s a danger of going too far and suggesting that absolutely everyone should be sexual. Embracing sexuality should mean accepting its many variations, including nonsexuality; runaway sex-positivism that says everyone should love sex is just as myopic as conservative beliefs saying that no one should.

There are myriad reasons one might be nonsexual, whether that means turning down sex in a particular instance or remaining abstinent throughout an entire relationship. Some people choose not to have sex because it’s physically painful for them; for others,

sex triggers traumatic emotional responses. Some people are simply asexual and don’t feel sexual attraction. People might abstain from sex because they’re tired, because they don’t feel good, because they’re not ready or simply because they just don’t want it. Nobody gets to judge anyone else’s reason for being nonsexual.

Everybody has that right—after all, it’s their body—and nobody should feel obligated otherwise.

Whether you’ve got nonsexual inclinations or you’re as sexual as they come, the key to figuring out a partner’s inclinations is by talking with them.

Everyone’s different, and people’s tastes can change from day to day, so you can’t assume you know what your partner wants, nor can you assume your partner knows what you want. Since nobody goes around wearing a name tag reading “not interested in sex,” the only way to tell what someone wants or doesn’t want is to ask. Whether you’re hooking up or in a long-term commitment, talk about what everybody involved wants and doesn’t want. It’s the best way to make sure you’re on the same page and that nobody’s pressured into doing anything they don’t want to.

Finally, while it’s perfectly possible to have a healthy nonsexual or partially sexual relationship, by no means is it for everybody, just as sexual relationships aren’t for everybody. Take the time to get comfortable with and confident in your own tastes.

Learn your deal-breakers. For some people, sexual compatibility is paramount; others are willing to compromise when it comes to sex as long as other parts of the relationship are strong; and only you know where you personally stand on the issue. If the nonsexuality of your relationship is a deal-breaker, then there’s nothing wrong with compassionately ending your relationship and trying to find a more compatible one. Doing that is far preferable to imposing your sexuality on someone else.

In our modern, sex-negative culture, I’ll be the first to argue for a sex-positive worldview. But the proper character of that worldview should be acceptance, not compulsion. A healthy view of sex and sexuality should understand that, alongside all the other manifestations of human sexuality that we encourage, there are people who simply don’t want sex. They deserve to be heard too.

Anonymously submit questions for Spencer at http://is.gd/sexcetera/

OPINION

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18 2012

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Radical discussions crack American silence Danielle Broida Senior

AGAINST THE GRAIN

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e are silent. As a generation of young, educated, resource-rich Americans, duct tape seals our mouths. Instead of being on the front lines of environmental activism, our energies have become absorbed in iPhone screens and laptops. Technology has taken the role of fulfilling our human need for connection, support and entertainment. Physically coming together and having progressive, radical discussions has nearly fallen by the wayside.

Our national political consciousness has turned away from collaborative action. From the time we are born in America, society drills us with the need for independence over codependence, raising our country to be disconnected, separated and ignorant to the power of collaboration. Yet the only way we can address the grave challenges our world faces is through codependence, community and collective action, beginning with conversation.

One critical reason keeping us from conversation is the devaluation of collectivity. A core American value, independence, has led to the common belief that individuality gets suppressed within a group. As long as our country holds independence at its core, there is little space for codependency to exist. Today, codependency suggests weakness, when in reality it has powerful potential to

heighten collaborative action.

Our culturally ingrained individualism has overridden the value of collective communication. Instead of discussing what’s at stake in our world, we convince ourselves that what truly matters, independence, can be better accomplished staring into LCD layers with glass substrates.

Yet we know that we face grave problems as a planet.

Earth’s population has recently mounted seven billion, resources are consumed at a highly unsustainable rate and the future of mankind is grim. These problems are on a scale that demands collaborative participation. Being independent, regardless of how brilliant or resourcerich you may be, will never be sufficient to make even a dent on global climate change, population expansion or issues of international importance. Stepping outside of our comforting personal bubbles and entering into the realm of collaboration is the key to addressing environmental, social and economic injustices.

Although many groups around the world are involved in collective mobilization, we seem blind to this in America. Until our national mentality of independence and codependence is reanalyzed, true collaboration will continue to be tainted with ego-driven motives. We need to step outside of ourselves and act collectively To start, we need to get to the root of our issues, stretching our minds beyond Band-Aid solutions. This requires a new type of connection, one that is truly radical (derived from the Latin “radix,” meaning “root”). By analyzing whether independence should realistically be valued over codependence, the gateway into radical dialogue will open.

The act of collaborative discussion alone is a good start in encouraging us to approach problems together and share ideas.

Real change requires step-

ILLUSTRATION BY MEASE

ping out on a limb. The silent inaction characterized by the majority of young Americans leads to denial of personal and moral responsibility. Therefore, to begin the shift towards creating a positive, egoless national community, forums for radical dis-

cussion must be opened. Radical discussion has never been more important than it is today due to the necessity of collective action to address the large-scale havoc surrounding us. It is time to rip off our duct tape, question the unchallenged praise of

independence, look up from our LCD screens and break the naive silence reigning our country’s youth. Radical discussion is the key to exploring our root values that will launch us forward into the future we, as of now, can only vaguely envision.

Ignoring conservative ideas costly Joey Gottlieb Community Member

THE WHITEST AFRICAN

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hitman is well known as a liberal institution, but recently, different political flavors are beginning to taint this campus. This Monday, well-known conservative pundit David Brooks came to Whitman to share his views on the election campaign. Pockets of radicalism (allegedly) are beginning to emerge, notably in groups and gatherings like Whitman AntiSystem and Radical (WAR) and the Forum for Radical Discussion.

This gumbo of diverse political and ideological views is a refreshing and welcome break from the monotony of liberal thinking that dominates Whitman. Do not misunderstand; I would certainly call myself liberal, but I would also argue that the Whitman campus is not particularly receptive to or tolerant of views that deviate from traditional liberalism. In light of David Brooks’ visit to Whitman, I decided to read some of his work so that I would be more in-

formed before going to his talk. I was most interested in his piece in The New York Times titled “The Conservative Mind,” which discussed the ways in which traditional conservative political theory differs with the economically-centered conservative rhetoric that is being tossed around this election. Brooks argued in a reasonable and moderate tone, explaining the social theories behind traditional conservatism.

It was an illuminating read. Brooks argued that at the heart of traditional conservatism was the dedication to establish a secure social base for citizens so that they, the citizens, might make bold economic ventures that would enrich the economy. Brooks explained that, ideally, a conservative government would lend a subtle hand to the lives of citizens, helping them maintain their social security (theoretically through social mobility programs and domestic spending). Nowadays, he concludes, conservatives are moving farther away from social responsibility and maintenance in favor of reducing federal power and economic freedom.

His vocabulary was both familiar and unfamiliar. Political terms that belong to the liberal agenda like “social mobility” and “communal solidarity” were present, but so were phrases like “self-discipline” and “gov-

ernment support equals dependency.” Brooks tugged on my political heartstrings, acknowledging the importance of social security and the value of community politics, but never faltered in arguing as a traditional conservative.

I am very grateful to him. I saw a great deal of wisdom in his writing a s he embraced political terms from both parties, revealing that liberalism and conservatism are not as mutually exclusive as we might think given today’s political landscape. I found myself agreeing with him

My idea of a conservative pundit, much less the conservative party, is Bill O’Reilly. However, after reading Brooks’ article, I realized that conservatism, if expressed in a way that is understandable and respectful, has a great deal to teach me. I cannot write off the entire tradition of conserv-

ILLUSTRATION BY PETERSON

on many counts, wanting eagerly for him to expound on the terms I found unfamiliar or problematic, and also filled with respect.

Voices from the Community

atism simply because I find Bill O’Reilly or George W. Bush distasteful. It was then that I began to consider how I behave as a liberal. Am I respectful? Tolerant? Receptive? Is there such

How aware are you of international affairs?

Poll by Halley MCcORMICK

Maddie Pyatt

Brandon Gagliardi

Lindsey Holdren

Senior

Sophomore

Sophomore

“I would say that, in general, I’m pretty aware of international affairs. I could definitely do a better job of educating myself, but I make it a point to check the news every now and then.

I’m in the class ‘The Arab Spring,’ and that’s helping me be aware of what’s going on elsewhere.”

“I know everything about Italy, but that’s about it.”

a thing as a left-wing O’Reilly?

In short: Yes. I saw during my time at Whitman the rabidity of liberals in the classroom, trumpeting the virtues of liberal living and the evils of conservatism. A great deal of conservative bashing, truly bashing, is done on our campus, and I feel for the Whitties I know who identify as moderate or conservative, who tell me that they often feel stifled, even afraid, to voice their views in class. I dread the thought that I ever made someone afraid to speak their mind, and I am ashamed because I believe I probably have.

Regardless of how right you think you are, how convinced you are of your correctness, you can learn anything if it’s presented in the right way. We must be conscientious of the way in which we present our opinions, which must be in a way that is respectful, inclusive and, most of all, educational.

Whether you are liberal, conservative, radical, moderate, whatever, I urge you to consider the way in which you convey your perspectives and to make sure that, through your words and actions, you do not inadvertently silence someone who is made too afraid to speak their mind. Similarly, give those with differing opinions the same respect, and listen to what they have to say. The goal here, I believe, is a critical appreciation, not simply a criticism, of what people have to say.

“On a scale of ‘not really aware’ to ‘aware,’ I’m not really aware.”

Austin Biehl First- year

“I am quite unaware of international affairs.

I definitely do feel as though [Whitman] is a bit of a bubble, and that doesn’t always really bother me, but when I think about it, I don’t know exactly what’s really going on.”

SPORTS

Oct

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6 Mens’ tennis competes at Fall Nationals 18 2012

by TRISTAN GAVIN Staff Reporter

L

ast weekend, five Whitman tennis players flew out to Mobile, Ala., to participate in the USA/ITA National Championships. Whitman has had great success in the small-college division of the tournament over the years, and the players they sent last weekend were no exception.

All five players Whitman sent qualified for Nationals after winning their respective USA/ ITA Regional tournaments Sept.

22-24, followed by winning playin matches in Texas a week ago.

Sophomore Courtney Lawless and senior Alyssa Roberg represented the women’s team in the tournament. The weekend marked Roberg’s third trip to the tournament in four years of tennis at the collegiate level. While Roberg admitted that “having to win a play-in match with the Texas region to get into the main draw at nationals puts extra pressure on [the] players,” she and her doubles partner Lawless placed fourth in the tournament after losing a heartbreaking tiebreaker to Washington and Lee University’s top pair (4-6, 6-4, 10-8) in the semifinals and again to Williams College in the third-place game (6-2, 6-1). Roberg and Lawless made it to the semifinals by dominating their opponents from Carleton College (6-1, 6-3).

The fourth place finish marks the best in recent years for the women’s team, whose top doubles pair has finished eighth and sixth in 2010 and 2011, respectively, at the USA/ITA Nationals. Even though the finish was an improvement upon

James Rivers ‘15 (above), Andrew La Cava ‘14 (right) and Colton Malesovas ‘15 represented Whitman at the USA/ITA Fall National Championships. Photos by Woletz

recent years, both players expected to do better and take the losses as motivation going forward into the regular season in the spring.

“That wasn’t our best doubles play,” said Roberg, who hopes—along with the rest of her teammates—to improve upon last year’s second place Northwest Conference standings.

The tournament served to give the pair an idea of where they stand against premier competition but, according to Roberg, was also “an incredible learning experience” that they hope to build upon. Roberg and Lawless, who were ranked tenth in the nation entering the tournament, will join a Whitman women’s team that advanced to the national tournament last spring despite not placing first in the NWC. On the men’s side, three Missionaries took the courts in Mobile.

Junior Andrew La Cava and soph-

omore James Rivers tore through the doubles competition en route to a second place finish, which is the highest national finish of any team under men’s head coach Jeff Northam. According to Northam, the pair went “toe to toe with four of the top doubles teams in the nation.” They defeated Emory University (6-1, 6-1) and Johns Hopkins University (6-3, 5-7, 10-7) Thursday before falling to Williams (7-6, 6-3) in the championship match on Friday.

In the singles tournament, sophomore Colton Malesovas started out strong against Trinity University’s Aaron Skinner. Unfortunately, Malesovas’ first match of the weekend would be his last at Nationals, as he was unable to maintain at 3-0 lead in the first set and ultimately fell 6-3, 6-4.

La Cava and Rivers’ success in the tournament reflects the strength of a program that has won

five straight conference championships. The pair return with Malesovas to a Whitman men’s team ranked 14th in the nation and poised

Ruck, scrum, maul: Motherruckers exude mental, physical toughness from RUGBY, page 1

After each match, the home team hosts the visitors for a social of sorts that involves bonding, refreshments and many traditions and fun rituals known only to the players of this game. “[Socials are] a fun chance to meet people from other teams and talk with the ladies you just spent 80 minutes beating up and tackling,” said sophomore Haley Friel.

Rugby is undoubtedly a sport that is in a league of its own kind in terms of personal and team growth.

Team connections run deep, partially due to the rigorous nature of the game. The Motherruckers hold bonding sessions so players can get to know each other off the field. “[Rugby is] amazing. It gave me confidence and a feeling of belonging,” said Nye. “When you see [your teammates] get hit on the field it makes you want to go that much harder and faster because you want to protect them,” said Sua. Players develop a strong sense of friendship and make a true commitment to the game by staying strong and fit year-round.

“You either have to be in love

with it, or you quit out of logic ... rugby players are some of my best friends; trust goes beyond the highest degree since we basically fight battles side by side each week,” said Nevin. The nature of the game is quite intense. “No protection, one football-shaped ball, 15 players a side and one goal: Find a way to get the ball past the opposition into the endzone.”

Rugby undeniably requires extreme athleticism and constant focus, effort and strength in order to make assists or score tries.

“Rugby is fun to play because it involves a series of technical skills as well as pure athletic feats [that] leave room for some improvisation,” said Nevin.

Both during and after a game is a time for unique rugby rituals. These rituals are meant to further enhance relations between teammates and teams.

“Zulus are [an] amazing tradition in which the first time a player scores a try, they strip down and run around the field to celebrate their victory,” said Friel.

Rugby players have a distinct, deep pride. “You take pride in your bruises, in driving people into the

to make a strong push for a sixth straight NWC title in the spring.

SCOR EBOA R D soccer

Men’s v. PLU Oct. 13: L 1-0 v. UPS Oct. 14: T 0-0 Women’s v. PLU Oct. 13: T 0-0 v. UPS Oct. 14: L 3-0

volleyball

v. UPS Oct. 12: L 3-1 v. PLU Oct. 13: W 3-2 v. Whitworth University Oct. 17: BLAH

cross country Lewis & Clark Invitational Men’s 3rd, Women’s 2nd

golf

Men’s PLU Invitational, T-3rd Women’s v. PLU Oct. 13: W 322-357

upcoming soccer

Men’s v. George Fox Oct. 20, 2:30 p.m.: HOME v. Pacific Oct. 21, 2:30 p.m.: HOME Women’s v. George Fox Oct. 20, 12 p.m.: HOME v. Pacific Oct. 21, 12 p.m.: HOME

volleyball

v. Willamette University Oct. 19: AWAY

Volley b all upsets Lutes Amber Lombard ‘14 (above) and her teammates have embraced the unique culture of rugby by bringing their hard-hitting passion to the field every day. Photos by Mellema

The Motherruckers are a year-round club sport team at Whitman, competing in weekend games and tournaments across the Pacific Northwest. Photos by Mellema

ground; but all that matters is that we all love the sport,” said Nye. Rugby is not only a great game to play, but to watch as well.

The Motherruckers play games on Ankeny Field and draw large crowds of fans from people passing by or looking out their windows to see what is going on outside.

“Any home game is an important game this year for us because we want to represent Whitman on our home turf. Rugby is more engaging [than football] because we don’t pamper our athletes: If someone’s injured, play usually won’t stop for them,” said Nevin. “During practices we work on setting up game situations and developing technical skills … we also have tons of fun and a great workout.”

Last weekend, the Motherruckers traveled to Ellensburg to play Central Washington University. Whitman fell short against CWU, losing 3-1 with the lone Motherrucker try scored by junior Amber Lombard. The Ruckers were

Sports weekly factoid

by Pamela London Sports Editor

During Parents’ Weekend, the Whitman cross country and swim teams will host their respective annual alumni events this Saturday, Oct. 20.

The cross country team will hold the Blue-Gold Race for parents and alumni on Saturday morning. The race will serve as a tune-up for the runners as they prepare for the NWC championships the following weekend.

Also on Saturday, Whitman swim teams will kick off their 2012-13 campaign with the Alumni Meet starting at 10 a.m. at the Louise and Harvey Pool. The event serves as a preview of the season as well as a chance for the men’s and women’s teams to have a little fun before the NWC Relays on Oct. 26-27.

short a few players of a team and some Central players played for them, highlighting the amiable nature between teams whose main goals are to play hard and have fun.

“It was a really fun game that was a fundraiser for breast health, so there were a lot of people watching and we were all wearing prom dresses, which got completely ripped by the end of the game. We didn’t have a full team so we had some girls from Central on our team too. It was a great way to start the season,” said Friel.

The Motherruckers are undoubtedly among Whitman’s most unique and dedicated teams. The players are committed to spreading the game of rugby across campus and beyond.

“You don’t need to be the strongest girl to play rugby. All you need is heart and the desire to learn more and work hard,” said Sua.

by quin nelson Web Reporter

A

fter dropping the first two sets, the Whitman volleyball team stormed back to hand Pacific Lutheran University their first conference loss of the year with scores of 3032, 20-25, 25-23, 25-15, and 1512 at Ball Court Saturday night.

From the first set, the Missionaries showed they would not be intimidated by the 14th-ranked Lutes. PLU jumped out to an early lead behind the play of junior outside hitter Allison Wood, who had a team-leading 15 kills. Whitman maintained their composure and rattled off a 10-1 run to tie the score at 24-24. The teams traded leads in the frenzied final moments, with PLU emerging as the victor 32-30.

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For a full match and weekend recap visit

whitmanpioneer.com/sports

A&E

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18 2012

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‘Noises Off’ comes to Harper Joy

by MALLORY MARTIN Staff Reporter

T

he lines have been memorized; door choreography is down; lights, sound and set have been perfected and the opening night of “Noises Off” is upon us.

From Thursday, Oct. 18 through Sunday, Oct. 21, the Harper Joy Theatre will present the famed play-within-a-play comedy, complete with humorous misunderstandings, backstage drama, slapstick and a highly impressive revolving set drafted by visiting New York designer Sarah Walsh. Marking Garrett Professor of Dramatic Arts Nancy Simon’s last directorial effort at Whitman, it promises to offer a fantastic night of theatre.

The cast and crew were in great spirits when The Pioneer dropped by a weeknight rehearsal. The actors seemed to be having a blast with the piece, a highspirited and wildly farcical play.

“We have a terrific cast. We are always making each other laugh off—and even sometimes on—stage,” said sophomore Kathryn Bogley, who plays the part of Brooke/Vicki.

“We bond really well and I feel that it will show onstage.”

But the performances aren’t all fun and games.

Much of the play’s come-

dy comes from well-timed entrances, intricately placed props, and an entire act performed in almost complete silence. “‘Noises Off’ is incredibly precise, and the only way we were able to reach its current level of accuracy was through an inordinate amount of practice and rehearsal,” said sophomore Ana Greeley, who performs the role of Belinda/Flavia in the show. “We were at the theatre for 18 hours a week and Nancy made sure we went over each section until we had [it] down. Very stressful, but very effective.”

For her part, Simon is very proud of her cast and crew as well as her own work on the show.

“The great pleasure of my life is doing theatre with students,” she said. “I’m working with a group of about twenty student actors, designers, stage managers and crew. They have been first-rate in their professional commitment and extraordinary in the amount of complicated work they’ve had to accomplish in a short time.”

Simon also commented on the difficulty of farce, a genre of comedy that is often hard to pull off.

“Farce is the most demanding form of theatre,” she said. “Not a hair can be out of place, not a beat can come in late. It requires great technique, stamina and in-

The cast of “Noises Off” has worked tirelessly to bring the play to life. The play, written by Michael Frayn, is notoriously difficult to perform, but through long hours and direction from Nancy Simon, the cast and crew have brought it to life. Photos by Felt

telligence. I hope we’ve learned a lot about how it works, and I hope we will learn a lot about the great joy of letting an audience laugh.”

Ultimately, “Noises Off”

seems to be the perfect choice for the final production of Simon’s career at Whitman.

“For my last production before retiring in December, I

wanted a piece that would reflect both my deep love of theatre and my strong sense of the comedy of our existence,” she said. “What better choice than ‘Noises Off’?”

‘Argo’ brings history to life ‘I Am the Messenger’

by NATHAN FISHER Staff Reporter

W

ith the recent tragic deaths of the U.S. Ambassador and three Americans in Libya, I decided to watch Ben Affleck’s “Argo,” which reaches back to the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis during Jimmy Carter’s presidency, when Iranians stormed the U.S. Embassy and held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. “Argo,” an amazing thriller, highlights the rescue attempt of the six Americans who actually escaped—buckle up, because this movie is a nail-biter!

“Argo” begins with photos and film clips from 1979, when Iranians revolted and stormed the U.S. Embassy. Just before the embassy was overtaken, six

Americans escaped and sought refuge at the Canadian ambassador’s residence (thanks, Canada!). If the Iranians found these escapees, they would be tried as spies and executed. What’s America to do? Enter Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck), the CIA’s man who must think of a way to extract the hiding Americans.

The CIA comes up with one bad idea after another until Mendez throws out a crazy scheme: Create a fake science fiction movie, aptly named “Argo,” that a Canadian film team needs to have set in Iran!

The selling point for the operation is that “this is the best bad idea we have.” The six Americans are given Canadian cover identities as movie producers, screenwriters, directors or cameramen, and have to be able to absorb and sell their new identities, or be executed. Help is needed, and Hollywood comes to the rescue.

Mendez flies to Hollywood and enlists the help of two Hollywood bigshots, Lester Siegel

(Alan Arkin), a sharp-tongued producer, and John Chambers (John Goodman), a makeup artist, to help make this a convincing “real” Hollywood movie. Arkin and Goodman’s lovable bromance brings much-needed humor to this tense story. Together, Hollywood and the CIA—unlikely partners—create the best fake movie in history.

“Argo” is a must-see thriller that keeps you parked at the edge of your seat. Taking a true story about politics, espionage, suspense and Hollywood all mixed together makes for one hell of a show. Although Affleck’s beard makes him a bit too woodsy, and the shot of his six-pack abs is unnecessary, “Argo” proves that Ben Affleck is not only a competent actor, but a great director. If “Homeland” has gotten you thinking about a vocation in international relations, “Argo” will seal the deal. This thriller shows that thinking outside the box and smarts are just as important as guns and force in counterintelligence. After seeing “Argo,” I want to be a spy who gets to work with the Hollywood gang!

by Markus Zusak

by DANA THOMPSON Staff Reporter

S

ometimes it’s good to go back to your old favorites. As college students, it can be easy to drown in an ocean of esoteric academic texts; I believe it is highly important to read not only for pleasure, but also for recollection. This doesn’t even have to be a return to a book you’ve read a hundred times; it can be as simple as picking up a book written for people who may be slightly younger than you. However, a truly great young adult novel is meaningful to people of all ages. Such a book is Markus Zusak’s “I Am the Messenger.”

Many Whitties are familiar with Zusak’s most famous novel, “The Book Thief,” a truly weird and wonderful story about a young girl in Nazi Germany whose story is related to the reader by the Angel of Death. It’s less depressing than it sounds (but only just). However, mostly due to the fact that Zusak’s books are published in Australia and are relatively unheard of in the United States, very few are aware that this immensely talented young author has also published (among others) an equally moving novel about a downand-out taxi driver named Ed Kennedy in modern-day Australia.

Ed’s story seems at first commonplace. Underprivileged and underage, he uses a fake I.D. to

land himself a job as a taxi driver to pay his rent and feed his dog.

He is hopelessly in love with (and hopelessly friend-zoned by) his best friend, Audrey. He habitually plays poker with his buddies.

But things start getting slightly bizarre when Ed inadvertently prevents a bank robbery by an utterly inept criminal. Shortly after his accidental heroism, Ed receives an Ace of Diamonds in the mail. On it is a list of addresses and times. Curiosity piqued, he decides to check them out.

It quickly becomes clear that Ed has been singled out by an unknown entity to carry out a series of tasks ranging from stopping a recurring rape to bringing a smile to the face of a lonely old woman. However, as the book progresses, the tasks become more and more challenging, and they lead ever closer to home.

Absolutely full to the brim with a million beautiful moments, “I Am the Messenger” is a great book to refresh your perspective on life. Gripped as we are with heady dreams of changing the world, it can be hard for us to remember that some of the biggest differences we can make may seem to be the smallest. Even though it can be found in the Young Adult section of any bookstore, “I Am the Messenger” lives up to its title and carries a meaningful message to anyone who picks it up.

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Help raise money for Mr. Whitman and Semilla Nueva!

Submit a piece for The Pioneer’s Backpage (articles, comics and puzzles accepted!)

Campus mail $5 entry fee to Rachel Alexander Entries due by midnight on Sunday, Oct. 21 to editors@whitmanpioneer.com

The winning entry will be published in Issue 8!

All proceeds will benefit Semilla Nueva

ILLUSTRATION BY HWANG

A&E

Oct

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8 New Sheehan Gallery art exhibition explores human industry, environmental consequences 18 2012

by Emma Dahl

garding

A

The Pioneer: How did you get started as an artist? Was it always your goal to have a career as a painter?

Mary Iverson: Through high school and my first three years of college, I was encouraged by many of my teachers to pursue a career in art, but it took me a while to come to terms with it. I always had the aptitude for art, but I had this backward notion that if something came easily to me it wasn’t a valid pur-

Staff Reporter

new exhibition entitled “EGRESS: The Paintings of Mary Iverson” will open this weekend in Whitman’s Sheehan Gallery and will run from Oct. 19 to Dec. 7. Iverson’s paintings feature scenic natural landscapes that have been cluttered and ruined with ships and containers and crisscrossed with sharp perspective lines.

Iverson answered some questions via email re-

her

body

of

work:

suit as far as a major or a career choice. Eventually, I realized that ease did not negate validity and I embraced the life of an artist.

Pio: How do you go about creating your paintings? How do you come up with new ideas?

MI: I get ideas for painting locations from environmental magazines, travel magazines and from my own travels. I subscribe to the Sierra Club magazine and Sunset magazine, and am often perusing the magazine racks at bookstores looking for locations and material.

Pio: What inspired your body of work that’s going on display in Sheehan?

MI: The body of work at the Sheehan combines my interest in traditional landscape painting, my fascination with the shipping industry and my concerns for environmental preservation.

Pio: There seem to be environmentalist overtones in most of your paintings. Is there a message you’re trying to send through your art?

MI: My work is an attempt to give a visual approximation of the ef-

fects of globalization and modern industry on the environment.

Although we don’t store shipping containers in our national parks, and container ships may never find their way as far inland as the locations of my paintings, the work introduces a visual metaphor for the battle between human activity and the natural world.

Iverson will give a talk regarding her artwork in Olin Hall 130 on Oct. 19 at 5:30 p.m.

There will be a reception in the Sheehan Gallery afterward.

Student’s kombucha takes off from KOMBUCHA, page 1

“She invited me to her home, she gave me my first cultures, she showed me how to do it, and I never saw her again,” he said. “She kind of intervened in my life direction, and I named my company after her.

Amaku is her name, so I named my company Amaku Cultures.”

McGaughey’s kombucha is subtly sweet and puckery, and has a gentle effervescence that comes from the fermentation process. Since 2009, he has been working on perfecting the recipe and figuring out how to produce on a larger scale. He currently has a brewing operation set up in his off-campus home, buys organic tea by the pound and pro-

duces kombucha flavors ranging from Hibiscus/Rose to Hawthorne/Dandelion. When he isn’t brewing—or what McGaughey refers to as “my meditation time”— he’s dealing with his full senior course load, hunting down seventy glass bottles a week to meet production needs and thinking about his future business plans.

“I’m very much doing it now to practice doing it later,” he said.

“I’m going to change a lot about my production when I go on, because I need to make about 100 to 150 cases a week to make profit in the large scale. That’s a lot of kombucha. But this is what I want to do.”

For all of his inspiration, McGaughey still approaches things with the grounded realism of a

businessman. Right now he’s thinking about funding, investors and grants and what he will need to become a small-batch producer of premium kombucha.

“I have not wavered since I met Amaku in the health food store in 2009,” said McGaughey.

“I really believe in kombucha. There is a social justice bent to it. It’s a product of privilege—it’s expensive—but if it can be made accessible, it can be a great replacement for soda.”

Prospective customers can message McGaughey over his Facebook page, “Amaku Cultures | Whitman’s Kombucha Company,” to ask questions and place orders.

They can also contact McGaughey at goodbooch@gmail.com.

Dave McGaughey ‘13 started Amaku Cultures, his kombucha business, from the ground up after a chance meeting with a woman named Amaku. After years of testing and perfecting his recipe, he has brought his company to Whitman’s campus and plans to expand further after graduating next spring. “I really believe in kombucha,” said McGaughey. Photos by Bowersox

Luc Charbonneau ‘15 cites Michael Jordan as a role model and coordinates his outfits by color. Photos by beck

Style spotlight Every week, The Pioneer searches out Whitties who bring an extra splash of fashion consciousness and sartorial daring to campus.

This week’s style spotlight: sophomore Luc Charbonneau.

Style Soundbites: “When I was in high school I played football all four years, and our football team had a thing where everybody wore Air Jordans. We used to wear them, like, during school, and then of Fridays we’d obviously wear our football uniforms before the games. It’s just kind of like how we were identified as football players.”

“I have all my drawers organized; like, I have a stack of just blue shorts, just red shorts, just orange, pretty much every color you can think of. I have my shirts lined up the same way, so when I grab an outfit I just grab down a whole column in my drawers, and I have the whole outfit already laid out.”

PIO PICKS

“I don’t usually wear the same color two days in a row. Usually I do blues and purples just because they’re my favorite colors.”

YMCA Zumbathon YMCA fitness instructors will lead an evening-long Zumba party while raising funds for the American Cancer Society of Walla Walla. To get in and shake your booty, there is a suggested donation of $8.

“I do have interchangeable ones, like I have general blue shorts that would go with five or six blue shirts that I have that I could make work, right?

So, I mean, some of them obviously specifically go together. I have ones that are interchangeable as well but they still flow.” “[Michael Jordan] has this quote where he says, ‘Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen,’ and ... my life mantra is, ‘Make it happen, do what you have to do to accomplish your goals, get everything done. Don’t just try, you do it.’”

“I probably have more shoes than most of the girls here ... Actually a good place to get the shoes cheap—because they’re usually pretty expensive—is the Nordstrom Rack.”

Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla during the weekend.

Here are this week’s picks:

Friday, Oct. 19, 6:30 p.m. at the YMCA (340 S. Park St.)

International Celebration As a culmination of this week’s Around the World Celebration, the Beyond Borders Club and the Intercultural Center will present an afternoon of internationally themed games and dancing.

Saturday, Oct. 20, 4 p.m. in Reid Ballroom

Summer Read Program: Stewart Tolnay Lecture Continuing an ongoing discussion of themes and ideas from Isabel Wilkerson’s “The Warmth of Other Suns,” the University of Washington’s Frank S. Miyamoto Professor of Sociology will present on the Great Migration and its impact on America.

Monday, Oct. 22, 7 p.m. in Olin 130

Walla Walla Symphony: Beethoveniana The Walla Walla Symphony kicks off its season with an evening of Beethoven pieces.

Though tickets start at $8, the Symphony will also present a free “inside the music” talk at Reid Campus Center at 6:30 p.m.

Tuesday, Oct. 23, 7:30 p.m. in Cordiner Hall

WINE MAP

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SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

The Pioneer guide to

Walla Walla

wineries

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S College Ave.

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Old Hw

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41 Lowden School Rd. Lowden, WA

125

This weekend Whitman parents enjoy complimentary wine tasting­—with this ad.

(509) 526-0905 Open daily by appointment 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

3 Three Rivers Winery 5641 Old Hwy 12 (509) 526-9463 Open daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Crush Special: 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon $150/case

4 Grantwood Winery 2428 Heritage Rd. (509) 529-5872 Open daily Fri & Sat 12 p.m.-4:30 p.m.

5 Basel

2901 Old Milton Hwy (509) 522-0200 Open daily 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Tasting fee waived for Whitman parents with ad.

6

6 3796 Peppers Bridge Rd.

Open daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

1604 Frenchtown Rd.

125

Amavi Cellars

(509) 525-0940

Long Shadows Vintners

St.

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L’Ecole

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Mill Creek R

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(509) 525-3541 Open daily 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

7 Northstar Winery

1736 J.B. George Rd. (509) 525-6100 Open Mon-Sat 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

8 Robison Ranch Cellars

2672 Robison Ranch Rd. (509) 301-3480 Open Sat 11 a.m.-4 p.m. or by appointment

10% discount on wine purchases to Whitman associates who come out to the ranch this weekend to visit.

9 College Cellars

500 Tausick Way (509) 524-5170

Open Fri 1 p.m.-5 p.m., Sat 12 p.m.-4 p.m.

No tasting fee. Tours of teaching winery available upon request.

10 Eleganté

839 C St.

(509) 525-9129 Open daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Special: 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon and 2007 Merlot, $220 per case, which is less than $19 a bottle.

WINE MAP

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Ave.

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18 17

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St.

(509) 525-1285

Lodmell

Open Sun-Thurs 1 p.m.-5 6 W. Rose St. Suite 104 p.m., Fri-Sat 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

St.

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Open daily 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

Lots of crushing activity going on at 33 W. Birch St. our full production facility downtown.

(509) 522-9463

Forgeron Cellars

ElegantĂŠ 839 C St.

(509) 525-9129 Open daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Special: 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon and 2007 Merlot, $220 per case, which is less than $19 a bottle.

17 Sweet Valley Wines 12 N. 2nd Ave.

(509) 526-0002

Ash Hollow 1460 F St.

11

Open Fri and Sat 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

Headless Red Celebration (509) 529-7565 for the month of October.

Open Fri & Sat 11 a.m.-5 Join us for the latest rep.m., Sun 11 a.m.-4 p.m. lease of our award winning wine—Headless Red.

w12

18

Charles Smith Wines and KVintners

Otis Kenyon

35 S. Spokane St.

23 E. Main St.

(509) 526-5230 Open daily 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

19

Blues & BBQ 6 p.m.-9 p.m. on Thurs Oct. 18

Cadaretta

315 E. Main St.

13 Seven Hills Winery 212 N. 3rd Ave.

(509) 525-3505 Open Thurs-Mon 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

(509) 525-1352 Open Thurs-Sat 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

(509) 529-7198 Open Mon-Sat 10 a.m.-5 p.m. & Sun 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

Pouring limited release wines in our beautiful downtown tasting room.

14 Locati Cellars

6 W. Rose St. #102 (509) 529-5871 Open Mon-Thurs 1 p.m.-5 p.m., Fri-Sat 1 p.m.-6 p.m. & Sun 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

10% off for Whitman students and families with Whitman ID.

20

Open daily 10 a.m.-5 p.m. (last tasting of the Woodward Canyon day starts at 4:30 p.m.)

Winery Lunch in the Reserve 11920 W Hwy 12 House Fri-Sun 11:30 Lowden, WA a.m.-3 p.m.

FEATURE 11 Parents’ gifts crucial to growth Oct

PAGE

18 2012

INFOGRAPHIC BY RAIBLE, BRAYTON

by Hannah Aguirre-Clayshulte Staff Reporter

P

arents might not be immediately present while students are at college; however, parents are still more involved in the lives of students than sending care packages and paying tuition. Parents supply the momentum to keep the college striving for new heights.

Maintaining a strong relationship with parents is essential to provide a thriving learning environment, according to Assistant Vice President of Communications Ruth Wardwell.

“Parents are considered a key stakeholder of the college, and we try to anticipate and serve their communication needs. Focus on parents is a collegewide endeavor,” said Wardwell.

The dedicated staff at the development department is responsible for raising funds for the campus by promoting the college’s image and reaching out to parents.

“The major goals of the development office are to build a community of supporters (alumni, parents of stu-

dents, friends, of the college, foundations and businesses) who support the college both in supporting Whitman generally and specifically supporting Whitman philanthropically,” said John Bogley, vice president for development and college relations.

Paying college tuition for a private liberal arts college like Whitman can be a heavy burden for parents without giving extra, but Bogley believes the key component to winning parents’ support is maintaining the high academic standing of the college.

“The foundational element of the programs is built upon Whitman delivering an outstanding educational experience,” said Bogley. “When that’s successful, many parents seek to get involved.”

Furthermore, keeping parents involved in campus events and sending out regular information helps parents feel a part of the Whitman campus.

“Family weekend is one such event that brings the campus to life for parents beyond their student’s experience,” said Bogley. “In addition, the Parents Newsletter, published regularly by the development

office, keeps parents informed.”

Funding from parents alone makes up a huge total of Whitman’s income.

“Over 35 percent of Whitman parents make a gift to support students and faculty at Whitman,” said Annual Givings Program Officer Brenda Michels.

“Last year, parents made gifts totaling more than $1,000,000 out of our $18.58 million raised,” said Bogley.

Without parent funding, many programs offered by Whitman would not exist, including internships, student grants and research opportunities.

“Last year parents were asked to make gifts to support experiential learning opportunities for students, which resulted in additional stipends awarded through the Whitman Internship Program and the Perry Research Awards,” said Michels. “This year, the Parents Program will raise funds to support both existing and new programs in the Student Engagement Center.”

Right now Whitman is in the middle of hosting their largest fundraising campaign yet,

called “Now is the Time.”

“Whitman is in the midst of its most ambitious fundraising campaign in institutional history,” said Bogley.

The campaign aims to raise funds in order to provide Whitman students with more global learning opportunities in a world that is continuously changing.

“It will ensure that our endowment can provide abundant scholarship and flexible funding for emerging priorities,” wrote George Bridges in the campaign’s statement.

Parents play a key role in the academic success of the college. Because they want their children to have the best education possible, most parents are willing to get involved in fundraising and campus events.

One such way parents actively participate is through the Parents Leadership Committee, a program run by parents to help get other parents involved in their children’s college education.

“The Parents Leadership Com-

*

mittee meets twice a year and leads a fundraising effort aimed at getting many parents involved,” said Bogley.

Although tuition is costly, enthusiastic parents still do all that they can to help the college progress with new education opportunities and go out of their way to help fundraise.

“Last year, almost 40 percent of Whitman parents made gifts to Whitman beyond the regular costs they pay for their student’s education,” said Bogley.

Moreover, students’ parents are not only more involved than one might think, but they make up a large portion of Whitman’s funding. Without parents’ support, Whitman would not be where it is today as far as academics and national standing. It is only with the teamwork between parents and the administrative departments that work to promote the college’s image that Whitman is able to thrive.

“We are tremendously grateful for their generous support!” said Bogley.

How do professors balance parenthood?

Read online on Friday at whitmanpioneer.com/feature

Real talk ADVERTISEMENT

“Real Talk” workshops feature recent Whitman graduates from a wide range of professional fields. Students are invited to engage them in small group discussions about their professions, how they got where they are now, what role Whitman has had in their post-Whitman life and anything else that students are interested in.

To learn more and to sign up for a “Real Talk,” call (509) 5275183, email Marisol Martinez at martinm@whitman.edu or stop by the Student Engagement Center, Reid 219.

Kate Bray Morrison ‘95 Web, Graphic & Marketing Design 4 p.m. Oct. 22

Leah Wilson-Velasco ‘03 Business Management & Music Noon, Nov. 1 Dr. Michael Wilcox ‘88 Health Care Noon, Nov. 6 Thomas Woodley ‘97 Wine Marketing & Sales 4 p.m. Nov. 14

Justin Rodergerdts ‘05 Financial Analysis Noon, Oct. 25 Alasdair Stewart ‘94 & Holly Nelson ‘96 Small Business Management 5 p.m., Oct. 29 Alasdair Stewart ‘94 Journalism 5 p.m., Oct. 31

with ALUMNI

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NASCAR makes minimum BAC rule

hakespeare once said that alcohol “provokes the desire but ... takes away the performance.”

I don’t know what he was talking about there, but obviously Shakespeare didn’t think about NASCAR when he said that it would take away from the performance.

Indeed, NASCAR executives announced, to the surprise of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) and other organizations, that it would now be instituting a mandatory minimum Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) in its drivers.

“Plus the fans and the drivers will finally be on the same level,” said Jeff Gordon, a large proponent of the mandatory rule.

The minimum BAC level instated is currently .08, legally drunk, but if you’re above .15, you only have to do half as many laps.

The rule came after a year of falling ratings, with many people dismissing America’s favorite sport as just for hillbillies who like watching things go in circles. What do NASCAR fans love? Crashes and beer.

“So why not combine the two and make the sport require some actual skill for once?” said one board member.

Indeed, the sport has made quite a comeback, and surprisingly, even Whitman students are putting down their Encounters books and tuning into ESPN to watch the drunken debauchery occurring on national television.

Crashes have increased by 500 percent and some racers even get out of their cars to fight each other while cars zoom by at 200 miles per hour.

The government, in a response to this quest for higher ratings, has sent police to attempt to pull over the NASCAR drivers on the track and write them up for driving while intoxicated. The police, of course, could not catch the drivers, which simply made for a hilarious episode of “Cops.”

Formula One in Europe has attempted to get in on the ratings boost, but it turns out they were all drunk to begin with.

“I’ve never had so much fun in my life. But sometimes

ILLUSTRATION BY MEASE

I do get a little carsick, due to all the turning and the booze,” said Dale Earnhardt publicly.

MADD has respond-

ed thoughtfully and carefully.

“Although it may seem fun at first, this is actually dangerous. They are drinking and driv-

ing at 200 miles per hour!” said a MADD spokesperson.

NASCAR executives declined to comment on the new rule.

who exemplify the outdoorsy culture Whitman prides itself on.”

When asked if he anticipated all 50 to make it back, Kyerly chuckled and recalled several of the potential students showing up in sneakers and few had warm clothes in anticipation for winter.

He then pointed to Harvard’s six percent acceptance rate as a goal.

The 50 students on the trip were selected through a lottery system to each represent a state, promoting geographic diversity. Some states’ representatives are more fit for the challenge than others, including several potential students with outdoor experience who volunteered for the challenge.

While reports tell us that all 50 are still alive, the reality of the situation is beginning to set in for the scramblers. Food supplies are dwindling and soon the

scramblers’ only hopes will rest upon their survivor skills or their state’s willingness to send care packages. Many of the representatives have formed alliances to increase their chances of survival. The Bible Belt has banded together and, with the help of a trident found lying in the pathways, has established itself as a force not to be reckoned with.

The Whitman Office of Admissions already has a betting pool on which students will come out on top, and some people are wagering entire paychecks.

“Let’s just say that if the Appalachian region outlasts the West Coast, I will be excited by more than the geographical diversity offered by the incoming class,” said Cony Tabasco.

Other representatives with highly anticipated survival include Ohio’s 6’9” basketball player who already has a starting spot waiting for him if he makes it, and Washington’s Katniss Evergreen who, despite utter incompetence, has received enormous support seemingly for her name alone.

In the coming months, the scramble is expected to take on a more competitive atmosphere, with foul play not entirely ruled out. While the young adults struggle against the elements, each other and the competitiveness of admission to a selective liberal arts college, we can only hope that the odds are ever in their favor.

Attack of the clones THE W SCRAMBLE ith the Backpage’s amazing journalistic team revealing scandal after scandal this year, the school is threatening to close down The Pioneer for fear of future embarrassment. However, a journalist’s job is not done until every last bit of news is reported on and revealed to the public.

Last Friday while going on my daily meander across campus, I came upon what looked like two identical people toting large camping backpacks, unkempt “just woke up” hair and Phi Delta Theta shirts.

At first I did not think much of it, but upon closer examination, I realized that they were in fact exactly identical. I decided to investigate.

Snooping around the science building, I discovered a strange pair of vats. Using my great knowledge of computers, I was able to open them, and what I discovered might shake the very foundation of the school.

Inside the vats were two females, who upon seeing me gave me identical smiles. Their shirts were imprinted with the strange letters KKG. Perhaps some sort of serial identification number? Upon looking at the clock behind my head, they discovered it was time for “Game of

Thrones” and ran towards Prentiss.

What is this insidious cloning that Whitman seems to be behind? Is the Office of Admission trying to cut down on the amount of work they have to do as Whitman climbs the college social ladder? Or is Whitman trying to perpetuate its image as an outdoorsy bed headed school? After all, what’s more indicative of cloning than seeing the same person three times a day while strolling across campus?

After a lengthy interview with undercover informant Peppersuren Byambasuren (or Pepper for short), he informed me of the devastating truth: Whitman does not even care about getting a diverse student body like they claim. “[Whitman wants] a bunch of outdoorsy people who are genetically engineered to smile 99 percent more of the time than they frown.

The only way to ensure this happens is to make clones of the perfect male and perfect female. For the male we picked specimen Dhavan Queue,” said Pepper, “We’re still looking for the perfect female, however.”

If Whitman manages to do this task, we will quickly surpass Stanford as the most pretentious school on the West Coast.

Paleoalienology the scientific study of ancient extraterrestrial biology and culture

GAMES

A

s we enter into the second half of the semester, most first-years are getting settled into the rhythm of college life. Some first-years, however, still have not yet set foot on campus as enrolled students. While most scrambles found their way back to campus prior to classes, one group of students remains in the Wallowas, struggling to survive. This scramble, set to return in late December, will make up the 2013 Jan-start class.

In a new program to promote the selectivity of the college, the Office of Admissions coordinated with the OP to send 50 young adults into the wilderness for a semester without proper training or a scramble leader.

Devin Kyerly said of the new program, “The basic idea is that the students who make it back to campus will have to be students

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Dubblebaby by Toby & Sam Alden

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