Whitman College Pioneer Fall 2011 Issue 6 by Whitman College Wire

Prentiss Princesses, 2-West Bros

Facebook prepares for drastic makeover

Feature looks beyond the traditional residence hall labels

Students and security experts discuss “Timeline,” the social giant’s upcoming revamp

volume cxxix

page 6

page 4

OCT

ISSUE

www.whitmanpioneer.com | Whitman news since 1896 | Walla Walla, Washington

2011

Athlete Ally spreads to Whitman community

BALANCING MATERNITY WITH TENURE PURSUITS Because federal law defines maternity leave as a type of disability leave, Whitman recently implemented a shortterm disability policy to address the physical needs of faculty members who are also new mothers. by KARAH KEMMERLY News Editor

ARTWORK BY BERFIELD

his year, a short-term disability policy was added to the faculty handbook. The policy, which can be used as a maternity leave policy, was created to address the physical hardships faced by mothers who have just given birth. It was crafted by the 2008 Faculty Fringe Benefits Committee. The short-term disability policy is separate from the already existing family leave plan, a policy which allows tenure-track faculty members to reduce their course

loads to accommodate family responsibilities such as caring for a newborn or sick relative. According to the 2011 faculty handbook, the family leave plan grants faculty members a one course reduction at 95 percent pay and a two course reduction at 75 percent pay. The short-term disability policy covers physically and mentally disabled faculty members for up to six months. According to federal law, the policy also allows new mothers to take a one-course reduction af-

ter they have given birth. Because of the switch to a 3-2 course load and the terms of the family leave policy, a new mother can take a semester (two courses) off with only a five percent pay cut. Those who wrote the family leave plan hoped to use language that would not exclude men or adoptive parents. In doing so, they did not address the physical impact of pregnancy. Assistant Professor of Politics Susanne Beechey was one of the first faculty members to

Project Eye-to-Eye provides support for local students by ROSE WOODBURY Staff Reporter

alt Disney, Henry Ford and one in seven Americans share an invisible characteristic: They have learning disabilities. Project Eye-to-Eye, a national organization that facilitates mentorship between adults and elementary school students with learning disabilities, is new to Whitman this fall. In the program, Whitties with learning disabilities create art with local fourth- and fifthgrade students who face similar challenges. The 13 Whitman mentors will meet with at least as many elementary school students for the first time this Thursday, Oct. 13. Senior Natalie Tamburello, who participated in Project Eye-toEye at her high school, started Whitman’s chapter of the organization. The program is rewarding to her as a mentor because it allows her to empower kids who are struggling with issues similar to the ones that she faces as a person with dyslexia. “[Project Eye-to-Eye] helps kids build self-esteem so they learn how to self-advocate,” Tamburello said. Part of self-advocacy includes asking for extended time on exams, taking a calculator to exams and letting a teacher know that you prefer not to be called on to read. Sophomore Ted Younie initially thought he would be too busy to mentor, but he later decided that he really cared about serving as a role model for students who were going through an academic experience similar to his own. Since he is a BBMB major, he used to men-

Opinion

tor with the Howard Hughes Medical Institute, but because of his background as a student with dyslexia, he decided to devote his time to Project Eye-to-Eye instead. “Any student can help someone in science, but there are not that many collegiate dyslexics out there,” he said. According to Director of Academic Resources Juli Dunn, 10 percent of Whitman students have a documented learning disability affiliated with the Academic Resource Center. Since national statistics are higher, she suspects that an even higher percentage of students on campus have a documented disability but have chosen not to make use of the ARC. According to Dunn, the most common learning disabilities on campus are Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Others include dyslexia, dysgraphia and slow processing. In Project Eye-to-Eye at Whitman, elementary school kids from Edison, Sharpstein and Green Park will meet with their individually assigned mentors once a week in the Fouts Center for the Arts to do an art project that relates to their learning disability. One project, for example, involves the kids designing and presenting an invention that they believe would help with their disability. Younie described the goals he hopes to attain for the elementary school kids from the project.

use the new short-term disability policy to take time off after the birth of her son. She discussed the trouble with the family leave policy via email. “Whitman was ahead of many schools in long ago instituting gender-neutral family leave but behind in addressing the gendered, physical realities of pregnancy and child birth. This disadvantaged female faculty who bore children,” she said. see SHORT TERM DISABILITY, page 2

New recycling program helps Greeks go green by DYLAN TULL Staff Reporter

fter a long night at the fraternities on any given weekend, the amount of waste left behind from the parties is astounding. Glass bottles are strewn about the sidewalk and red plastic cups fill trashcans to the brim. While Whitman has a reputation of being environmentally conscious, Whitman fra-

ternities and sororities may not always uphold this status. Juniors Danielle Broida and Zoe Rogers have recently introduced the Greeks Going Green program in an effort to make the Greek system become more organized in its recycling programs and encourage overall environmental sustainability. Broida commented on the overall goal of Greeks Going Green.

see GREEKS GO GREEN page 3

ILLUSTRATION BY PETERSON

see EYE-TO-EYE, page 2

by LIBBY ARNOSTI Sports Editor

ith debate about gay rights dominating national politics and rainbow stickers slapped on laptops all over Whitman campus, it is clear that in recent years, Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer (LGBTQ) issues have been brought to the front of the American consciousness. As a nation we are moving gradually towards greater social and legal acceptance of all sexual orientations. It is surprising to realize that there are still few professional athletes publicly “out” as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning: it seems the sports world has been left behind in this national shift in consciousness. Athlete Ally, a program founded with the purpose of bridging this gap through conversation and action, has reached almost 40 colleges across the nation since its inception less than one year ago and is now being brought to Whitman by a few proactive students. The official website defines an Athlete Ally as “any person—regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity— who takes a stand against homophobia and transphobia in sports and brings the message of respect, inclusion and equality to their athletic community.” Athlete Ally is spread organically through student initiatives on campuses around the nation and is concentrated near its home in the Northeast. “When I was at grad school at Harvard, they had just started an Athlete Ally group on campus. I think we were one of the first,” said Whitman varsity swimming alum and current admissions officer Robert Street ’07. The program was started by Hudson Taylor, an All-American Division I wrestler and theater major at the University of Maryland who saw the need for greater awareness about LGBTQ acceptance in athletics at all levels. At its most basic, participation in the program consists of signing a pledge that states: “I pledge to lead my athletic community to respect and welcome all persons, regardless of their perceived or actual sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. Beginning right now, I will do my part to promote the best of athletics by making all players feel respected on and off the field.” The purpose of the pledge is to spark thoughtful dialogue among athletic communities and inspire further action supporting LGBTQ acceptance in sports. Whitman is about to become the first college in the Northwest Conference to join the growing number of participating institutions. “I’m incredibly excited [about this coming to Whitman]. I think that this is a good place to create the discussion amongst athletic teams and to help lead the way with other liberal arts colleges in the Northwest,” says Street. Given that the Whitman community is known for its openminded attitude and progressive values, some may wonder whether a program like this is even necessary. This, as it turns out, may be just the problem. see ALLIES, page 5

Sports

Phillip Cheng questions the “magic” behind herbal cures

Seth Dawson ’12 terms Obama’s killing of Anwar al-Awlaki ‘authoritarian’

Katie DeCramer ’12 talks IM football, cookies and the politics of Sesame Street

OPINION, PAGE 7

SPORTS, PAGE 5

NEWS

Oct

13 2011

PAGE

Students weigh options at grad school fair by EMILY LIN-JONES Staff Reporter

NUMBERS IN THE NEWS

epresentatives from over 30 graduate schools gathered in Reid Ballroom on Oct. 6 for Whitman’s tenth annual graduate school fair. The Student Engagement Center hosted the event, which was designed to educate students about their post-graduation options. A stream of students filtered in and out of the room throughout the afternoon, perusing the information laid out on tables and chatting with representatives from schools around the Northwest and beyond. “We think students—firstyears through graduating seniors—should attend this fair just to find out what the possibilities are,” said Director of Career Development Susan Buchanan, who has organized the fair for the past ten years. “They might find some hidden jewels and surprises that they didn’t know before. For firstyears and sophomore students, [the fair] can help them determine their course of study at Whitman. Students can learn a lot. It’s particularly valuable because of the human contact with the representatives.” Programs represented at the fair ranged from schools offering degrees in natural medicine and education to travel-volunteer organizations. Prior to the fair, a panel of law school representatives fielded questions from interested students. “It used to be where students went to law school just to become a traditional trial attorney, but nowadays you can utilize the law degree in many different ways,” said Mathiew Le, a representative from University of Washington’s law program. Le cited advocacy and politics as possible areas to which a law degree could be applied. SaeRom Konecky, a representative from Gonzaga University’s law program, advised students to research their postgraduation options carefully. “Definitely find out as much as you can and weigh what you’re getting into against what you really want out of it,” she said. “[A law degree] is a really expensive degree to get if you’re not entirely sure if that’s the path you want to take.” Students interested in traveling after graduation were given the opportunity to converse with representatives from programs such as

by shelly le News Editor

1 million

Pounds of material waste Americans generate per person every year— taking into account hazardous waste, construction debris and chemicals used for manufacturing.

32%

Percentage of total waste Americans recycle.

44%

Percent of Walla Walla residents that participate in the city’s recycling program.

Gallons of bottled water the average American consumes annually.

Stephanie Herbst ‘12 talks to a representative from the Oregon Leadership in Sustainability Graduate Certification program. Schools present primarily represented teaching, business and law programs. One hundred ninety-two students attended the fair. Photo by Bergman

the Peace Corps and the Japanese Exchange and Teaching Program (JET), both of which assist college graduates in working abroad. “It’s really a chance to experience another country’s culture while at the same time understanding yourself in a different light,” said Brett Rawson, representative for JET and a Whitman alumnus. Although statistics show that many Whitman students do end up pursuing a postgraduate education, the fair’s organizers have had trouble drumming up student interest in the event in the past. Rachel Christopherson, an admissions officer representing Pacific Lutheran University at the fair, said that nationally the number of students applying to graduate schools has been relatively low in recent years. “There are fewer students coming to grad school. It’s kind of working in a different way than professionals in the industry are used to. Generally a down economy means more people looking to further their education. It had been the case in 2007 that the numbers of graduate students were going up, but the census from 2010 showed that they’ve started to lessen again. I think people are worried about

how to pay for it, and if it’s really going to lead to a job afterwards.” 192 students attended the fair and 17 attended the law school panel, a significant increase from previous years according to Assistant Dean for Student Engagement Noah Leavitt. Leavitt credited an unorthodox ad campaign by ASWC for the event’s success. “ASWC did a really great job creatively getting the word out about these two events and it is highly likely that much of the increase in attendance is related to ASWC’s investment in making [the fair] an important learning and reflection opportunity for the entire student body,” said Leavitt. ASWC’s advertising tactics included encouraging professors to speak in class about their graduate school experiences. ASWC also set up several eye-catching displays around campus, including colorful roadblocks and a stuffed cowboy near Styx, accompanied by slogans encouraging students to attend the fair. “The light-hearted nature of the advertising I think emphasizes what a benefit and good thing it is to go to the fair, rather than just some sort of requirement,” said

ASWC President Matt Dittrich. “The idea is that we make it feel super accessible and something that is worth students’ while.” “I think this is a really great resource we have on campus, an opportunity to bring all these different options to one room and help give a little focus [to] what I want to do immediately after graduating,” said senior Emma O’Rourke-Powell. Other students found that the fair didn’t have enough variety to hold their interest. “I didn’t really see anything that jumped out at me. I just kind of walked in and walked out,” said senior Jessica Matresse, a Spanish major. “Most of the things I know about graduate school I researched on my own, so nothing [at the fair] seemed to fit what I was looking for.”

Number of plastic water bottles sold on campus.

$236

Billion dollars of estimated annual revenue of the U.S. recycling industry.

6.8%

Total percent of plastic used in the U.S. that is recyclable and becomes recycled.

11.6

Million tons of paper and cardboard exported to China from the United States in 2009.

80%

CORRECTIONS TO ISSUE 6

Average percentage of a recycled electronics that are sent to locations like Guiyu, China, where employed workers are paid an average of eight dollars a day.

In the “Whitman Crime in Numbers” infographic on page 1 Drug Violations should be 7 for 2008, 30 for 2009 and 17 for 2010. Aggravated Assault should be 1 for 2010.

SOURCES: THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH, DISCOVER MAGAZINE, THE NEW YORK TIMES, THE WASHINGTON TIMES, TIME MAGAZINE, NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO (NPR), THE UNION BULLETIN

Policy aids new mothers from SHORT-TERM DISABILITY, page 1

Associate Professor of Politics Jeanne Morefield also acknowledged this problem. “The family leave policy worked well for men and for adoptive parents, but it wasn’t enough for women having babies who couldn’t just spring back to work after giving birth. It also placed a heavy burden on women who were the primary wage earner in their families and who couldn’t afford to take time off,” she said. Beechey feels that the short-term disability policy has addressed these issues. “In acknowledging the gendered, physical realities of pregnancy, the new short-term disability policy is a great improvement, of particular value to female junior faculty members. While not perfect, this policy is a big step in the right direction,” she said. Dean of Faculty Timothy Kaufman-Osborn agrees. “We still have a ways to go before Whitman is as fully family-friendly as it might be—for example, through better provisions for infant and child care. Still, the adoption of the shortterm disability policy is an important step in the right direction,” he said in an email. Sarah Hurlburt, the chair of the 2008 Faculty Fringe Benefits Committee and primary author of the policy believes that putting a short-term disability policy in the handbook was

a natural step for Whitman. “No one I talked to could remember a medical incident that resulted in a dock of pay. Adding the short-term disability policy to the handbook made official what was already in practice,” she said. “Having a policy on the books is important so that everyone knows the possibilities open to them.” Like Morefield and Beechey, Hurlburt doesn’t call the policy perfect, but she believes it has made a positive impact. “When writing the policy, we were trying to do the most good. We weren’t trying to make a statement about a perfect world,” she said. Hurlburt says that the new policy has greatly improved Whitman’s maternity leave policies in comparison to similar colleges. “With this policy, Whitman has leap-frogged from the bottom third of the panel of 14 to the top third,” she said. Several panel schools, like Grinnell College and Reed College have similar policies for addressing maternity. Fortunately, taking time off has been beneficial for Beechey. “Without the new shortterm disability policy I would not have been able to take the semester to recover and be with my son. With this policy I will be able to return to the classroom in the spring fully recovered,” she said.

Student mentors Ted Younie ‘14, Natalie Tamburello ‘12 and Bella Zarate ‘14 hope to give local fourth and fifth grade students with learning disabilities extra support. Program mentors will meet with students once a week to work on art projects. Photo by Felt

Whitties with learning disabilities mentor from PROJECT EYE-TO-EYE, page 1

“[I want] to make kids excited about learning and to be able to stand up and tell your teacher or professor who I am and what I need to make my learning environment the best [for me],” he said. Dunn described her role in the project to be mainly advisory because she believes the beauty of the program lies in giving the mentors and the elementary school students space to learn from each other away from the influence

of academic authority figures. “I respect that space and I think it’s important that students are given that freedom,” she said. Dunn hypothesized that many of the Project Eye-toEye mentors signed up for the program as a way to give back for the help they had received and to pay it forward. However, both Tamburello and Younie stated that they had a hard time in elementary school because of the lack of support and mentoring they received.

Tamburello used to think she wouldn’t be able to go to college because of her dyslexia. Now she is committed to using her degree to help people like herself. Last summer she received the Whitman Internship Grant to conduct research on the brain science of dyslexia at Stanford University. At the end of year there will be an art show displaying the mentors’ and mentees’ work. “It’s all about L.D. [learning disability] pride,” Tamburello said.

EDITORIAL

PRODUCTION

WRITING

BUSINESS

EDITORIAL POLICY

Editor-in-Chief Patricia Vanderbilt

Production Manager Ted Hendershot

NEWS

Business Manager Hailun Zhou

Managing Editor Cara Lowry

Production Associates Katie Berfield, Alecia Kaer, Carter Muenchau, Madison Munn, Molly Olmsted, Cara Patten

The Whitman College Pioneer is a weekly student-run newspaper published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of The Pioneer is to provide pertinent, timely news and commentary for Whitman students, alumni, faculty, staff and parents, as well as the Walla Walla community. The Pioneer is dedicated to expanding open discussion on campus about the issues with which students are most concerned. We provide coverage of Whitman-related news as well as featured local and regional events, and strive to maintain a standard of utmost fairness, quality, and journalistic integrity while promoting freedom of the press. In addition, The Pioneer strives to be a learning tool for students who are interested in journalism. The Pioneer welcomes all feedback and publishes weekly Letters to the Editor in print and online.

News Editors Karah Kemmerly Shelly Le A&E Editor Caitlin Hardee Feature Editors Alyssa Fairbanks Kelsey Kennedy Sports Editor Libby Arnosti Opinion Editor Kyle Seasly Humor Editor Adam Brayton Photography Editor Ethan Parrish Illustration Editor Binta Loos-Diallo

Chief Copy Editor Gillian Frew Copy Editors Aleida Fernandez, Marisa Ikert, Erik Larson

PHOTOGRAPHY Marin Axtell, Cade Beck, Caitlin Bergman, Faith Bernstein, Allie Felt, David Jacobson, Jack Lazar, Chaoyu Li, Marie von Hafften

ILLUSTRATION Alex Bailey, MaryAnne Bowen, Kelly Douglas, Emily Johnson, Julie Peterson, Jung Song, Eduardo Vazquez

Samuel Chapman, Josh Goodman, Molly Johanson, Emily Lin-Jones, Dylan Tull, Rose Woodbury, Allison Work

A&E

Circulation Associates Matt Booth, Emily Coba, Leland Mattaeus, Junpei Tsuji

Clara Bartlett, Nathan Fisher, Alex Hagen, Mallory Martin

WEB

FEATURE

Webmaster Kirk Crosland

Molly Emmett, Tyler King, Sandra Matsevilo, Frannie Nunn, Kinsey White

SPORTS

Kyle Howe, Pamela London, Sylvie Luiten, Matt Tesmond

OPINION

Peter Chen, Philip Cheng, Elizabeth Cole, Zach Duffy, Blair Frank, Benjamin Roberson, Alfredo Villaseñor

BACKPAGE

Elena Aragon, Cari Cortez, Tabor Martinsen, Dana Thompson

Web Editor Sara Rasmussen

ADVERTISING Advertising Manager Phuong Pham Advertising Associate Hannah Bauer For information about advertising in The Pioneer or to purchase a subscription please contact vanderpa@ whitman.edu.

SUBMISSION POLICY Letters to Editor may be submitted to The Pioneer via email at vanderpa@ whitman.edu or sent to The Pioneer, 345 Boyer Ave., Walla Walla, WA, 99362. All submissions must be received by 4 p.m. on Saturday prior to the week that they are intended to appear. All submissions must be attributed and may be edited for concision and fluency.

CODE OF ETHICS The code of ethics serves as The Pioneer’s established guidelines for the practice of responsible journalism on campus, within reasonable interpretation of the editorial board. These guidelines are subject to constant review and amendment; responsibility for amending the code of ethics is assigned to the Editor-in-Chief in conjunction with the editorial board. The code of ethics is reviewed at least once per semester. To access the complete code of ethics for The Pioneer, visit whitmanpioneer.com/about.

NEWS

Oct

13 2011

PAGE

Students consider ethics of international work with Peace Corps by SAM CHAPMAN Staff Reporter

t Whitman’s Graduate School Fair on Thursday, Oct. 6, one table stood apart from all the rest. The experience it offered was significantly different from the rest of the room: the mother of all community service, 27 months with the Peace Corps. According to their mission statement, the Peace Corps is an arm of the U.S. government that aims to “help the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women, help promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served, and help promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.” Regional representative Erin Erickson was on campus to begin her job of engaging and recruiting students from Whitman. Erickson, herself a Peace Corps alumna after serving a term counseling nonprofit organizations in Moldova, arrived at Whitman with a specific strategy. “My plan is to engage the modern languages department, French and Spanish speakers especially,” Erickson said. “To engage specific departments that are relevant to Peace Corps service is a strategy I’m looking for.” At the fair, and at a presentation given later that day, Erickson explained numerous aspects of the Peace Corps: its deployment strategy, in which host countries request help from volunteers for projects in six general areas; its schedule, which includes three months of intensive training, a year of cultural immersion and a year of work in any of over 75 developing nations all across the world; and the program’s benefits for college graduates.

Erin Erickson, Walla Walla’s regional representative for the Peace Corps, encourages students to consider the Peace Corps as a post-graduate option at the graduate school fair. The Peace Corps sends volunteers to over 75 developing nations. Photo by Beck

“It’s a life-defining experience: two years of quality, challenging and very rewarding international work experience in a technical field, which is very applicable to the workforce back home,” she said. “I can say that having Peace Corps experience makes you stand out over other applicants applying for jobs in the United States.” At the informational session, several students expressed interest in the Peace Corps. Sophomore Morgan Walker first learned of the organization from a high school teacher. “I really liked the idea of it,” Walker said. “It sounded like [my teacher] had this great experience that really benefited him . . . I real-

ly wanted to enrich myself by doing it, and maybe give myself a little more time before grad school, before starting the rest of my life.” Assistant Professor of History Jacqueline Woodfork spent two years with the Peace Corps in Liberia, teaching English to middle school students. Woodfork believes that her service changed the entire direction of her life. “Honestly, I got more out of it than I gave. I have learned that you cannot call yourself poor,” Woodfork said. “When you’re a graduate student and you have very little disposable income, the word ‘poor’ pops into your mind for self-description. But when you really see poverty, you realize that you simply cannot

talk about being poor because you can’t go to the Taco Truck. Peace Corps was the best decision I ever made, although probably not for reasons I originally thought it would be a great thing.” One challenge that Peace Corps recruiters often face on college campuses is a view held by some students that the organization represents an arm of American imperialism. Natalie Jamerson, co-president of Whitman Direct Action—an organization, similar to the Peace Corps in its mission, that takes Whitman students to work in the same community in Guatemala every summer—spoke to this viewpoint. “If we perceive a need that externally seems like one that

should be addressed, that might not be their priority, and they might not volunteer their own effort or resources,” Jamerson said. “The way to get things done is to empower the community members to solve their own problems. Taking ownership of the project is what’s really important.” In graduate school, one of Erickson’s professors asked her to consider the interventionist angle of the Peace Corps. She concluded that the relationships built between volunteers and communities go far beyond imperialism. “The value of building personal relationships is what brings peace, in my opinion,” Erickson said. “I was able to say, ‘I’m an American citizen, but I may not agree with everything my government is doing.’ And they could talk about their politics, and we could have an exchange and dialogue that wouldn’t have been possible if I had not been a volunteer.” Woodfork’s personal experience with the Peace Corps informed her own opinion on the ethics of international development. “What is important, that the Peace Corps sometimes loses sight of, is that we are working ourselves out of jobs,” she said. “We want nations to be able to fill their own human resource needs from their own citizen base.” Woodfork said that she was struck by “how much of what we do is developed by the host country.” However, she acknowledges that there are multiple motivations that drive a Peace Corps volunteer. “Saving the world is not going to happen through the efforts of one Peace Corps volunteer. There are cross-purposes and cross-motivations at play,” she said. “There is no saving the world. But sometimes you can have a positive impact on a person, and that is a good thing.”

Alpha Phi establishes New program helps Greeks go green identity, finalizes bids from GREEKS GO GREEN, page 1

by ALLISON WORK Staff Reporter

ith the colonization of an Alpha Phi women’s fraternity chapter on the Whitman campus this fall, Greek life is changing. The new sorority, invited by the Panhellenic council last fall to colonize at Whitman, ended its recruitment process at the end of September and began sorority activities last week. “The Panhellenic community is excited to get the year started,” said Allie Winkelman, Alpha Phi’s main leadership consultant from the international office. “We’re super excited to have members. We are going to continue to get more members throughout the semester hopefully, so we’re really excited for that too.” The women’s fraternity commenced with about 35 members from all four grade levels at Whitman. The majority of the girls are first-years, which Winkelman says is important for building a strong base, but the addition of the upperclassmen will help Alpha Phi start off strong. “We’re excited for having the five seniors and the upperclassmen who might not have had a chance to do Greek life before and to show us the ropes at Whitman,” said Winkelman. “It’s great for [seniors] because they get to experience Greek life before they leave and leave such a great mark for their last year. We’re really happy with it.” So far, Alpha Phi has had its official bid night, its first function and chapter meeting, and a few informal get-togethers. “I feel like we haven’t gotten to know each other that well yet, but everyone I’ve met is really great,” said firstyear Julia Thompson, a new pledge. “[Everyone is] really down to earth, and as someone who went through formal rush, I feel more comfortable with this group of girls.” The first chapter meeting went over much of Alpha Phi’s history both nationally and at Whitman and discussed the sorority’s national philanthropy. According to Thompson, the chapter was present at Whitman for about 30 years beginning in the 1940s, but died out in the 70s because of lack of demand. Rumors surrounded the chapter’s reformation this fall, but mostly people questioned what the goals of the reinstatement of the women’s fraternity were going to be. “A lot of the girls in [Alpha Phi] didn’t rush the first time. It’s not like they went in expecting to join a sorority,” said new pledge and first-year Louisa Rogers. “I think what’s appeal-

ing about Alpha Phi is that we can make it whatever we want.” Winkelman said the organizers had no expectations for the number of pledges the sorority would get, because colonization is such a unique process. She was not directly involved with the selection process, but the organizers were looking for a cohesive group of women to represent Alpha Phi well. “I’ve been pretty happy so far,” said Thompson. “I think that there’s a good mix of girls. I think that the demographic is maybe a little bit different than the other sororities on campus, and we can make it basically whatever we want.” “We don’t have a stereotype to fit, and we don’t have to pick a group we feel like we identify with the best,” said Rogers. “We’re kind of starting a group, and so we get to define it because it hasn’t been defined.” According to Rogers, some girls who participated in recruitment for Alpha Phi were not offered bids. “We had a meeting to talk about how we’re trying to stay away from the really exclusive ‘Oh, we’re a sorority,’” said Rogers. “That being said, there were some people who just didn’t get in to Alpha Phi.” Rogers said the bid process really looked at the individual girls, and tried to make sure they would work well with the sorority. “They were looking at the girl, and not like, ‘Oh, you’re not good enough for Alpha Phi.’” said Rogers. “It was more like, ‘You don’t really seem like the kind of person who would really enjoy this.’” With the new beginnings now, the small women’s fraternity will include leadership opportunities for all members. Each member will be assigned to a committee to help plan events for the year, and in November the sorority will hold formal elections for official officer positions along with the other three women’s fraternities. “It’s not all me,” said Winkelman, speaking about the organization tasks for the sorority. “I’ll give [the members] advice and generate ideas and help them implement things, but it will be a lot of the girls’ jobs to get things done as well.” Winkelman has an apartment in Walla Walla and is stationed here all year to help with the transition and building phase. “My job is technically to be a traveling consultant,” said Winkelman. She will go back and forth between Walla Walla and national headquarters in Chicago, but Whitman is her primary focus for the year.

“[Greeks Going Green] is a program working to implement a greater sense of environmental stewardship into the Greek system. We hope to spread awareness, education and thoughtful action about sustainable living on campus and beyond,” she said. The key to this system is the sustainability chairs. Sustainability chairs are the environmental leaders of each Greek chapter, organizing and encouraging a sustainable chapter. The idea of having an environmental leader in each chapter is modeled after the Green Leaders of Whitman’s composting program, who are likewise environmental stewards of residence halls. Sustainability chairs are appointed like any other Greek position, such as philanthropy chair, social chair or president, and are in charge of coordinating recycling for their individual fraternity. Sophomore Tau Kappa Epsilon (TKE) Sustainability Chair Max Reikosky described via email his position and expectations. “For TKE in particular, I plan to create a separate box for glass since glass is usually thrown away. This box at the end of each week will be picked up by the organization that created the sustainability chair

and take it to be recycled,” he said. Up until this point, the recycling has been incredibly disorganized for all of the fraternities. According to Broida, Bob Biles, the recycling manager, had interns who would come and pick up the fraternity’s recycling once or twice a week. A survey was sent out to get the opinion of Greek members on the sustainability of each chapter. “100 percent of people said that their chapters could be more sustainable,” Rogers said. Due to the confusion that has been felt by fraternities about the recycling and handling of waste and the overwhelming feeling that every chapter could be more sustainable, it is surprising that this system was not implemented earlier. Sophomore Sam Kirsch, a Phi Delta Theta, commented on Phi’s current recycling system via email. “A dedicated program designed to help Phi be more accountable for recycling and eco-friendly is a great idea. Not only just with recycling, but getting Phi more involved in reducing consumption of environmentally impactful products as opposed to just reusing or recycling is also an important step towards improved sustainability,” he said. “Phi does an adequate job of trying to manage its ecological impact, but

it could certainly do more, and hopefully Greening the Greeks is a way to accomplish that.” The basics of the program draws inspiration from a similar University of California at Berkeley program titled “Greening the Greeks.” The idea is exactly the same: to encourage the Greek system to become more environmentally friendly and efficient at recycling, while also ensuring that the program is self-sustainable. The program at Berkeley was a wild success, and was enthusiastically adopted throughout the 38 fraternities on campus. Now, the responsibility of creating a more sustainable Greek system falls on the sustainability chairs of each chapter. With organized and dependable sustainability chairs like Reikosky, it appears that environmental sustainability will increase dramatically within the Greek system. Rogers expressed her excitement regarding the program. Rodgers hopes that the program will be sustainable with the organization of dependable sustainability chairs like Reikosky. “I hope it’s a program that will just stay for the future. It’d be really nice to see it just keep flourishing and, yeah, just see where it goes,” she said.

Locals walk to end domestic violence by KARAH KEMMERLY News Editor

n Wednesday, Oct. 19, the Walla Walla community is hosting a walk to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” event. It hopes to raise awareness about domestic and sexualized violence in order to work towards preventing it. The event begins with a noon walk from Heritage Park on Main Street to the county courthouse and

concludes with a 6 p.m. candlelight vigil at the Land Title Plaza on Main. Organizations sponsoring the event include the YWCA, the Diversity Advisory Council, the Washington State Penitentiary Employee Association, the Zonta club of Walla Walla and the United Gender Movement. Chetna Chopra, adjunt instructor of general studies at Whitman, is a member of the Diversity Advisory Council that helped coordinate the event. She feels ADVERTISEMENT

that discussing issues of domestic violence is necessary. “In a time when the city of Topeka considered repealing the law that criminalized domestic violence because of budget cuts and shelters are losing financial support, it is important to keep this issue in the public view,” she said. Chopra believes that domestic violence is a widespread issue. “This isn’t just a women’s problem. This affects men and children, too,” she said.

A&E

Oct

13 2011

PAGE

Facebook prepares users for ‘Timeline’ takeover by ALEX HAGEN Staff Writer

y now, many of Facebook’s users have grown accustomed to frequent changes and overhauls of its design and features. However, with the site’s newest incarnation on the horizon, some may find it more difficult to adjust. Last month, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg introduced plans for “Timeline,” a new profile layout designed to be easier to navigate. Resembling a digital scrapbook, the feature presents each Facebook user’s information in a re-

verse-chronological format, with each post or event on one’s profile stemming from a timeline in the center of the page. The new format, rolling out over the next few weeks, was designed to make it easier to see everything one has posted on Facebook—essentially a digital record of a person’s life, depending on how much information he or she has posted. As always, new concerns about Internet privacy come along with the new format. However, the new design may not be as unfamiliar as it seems. “I think it looks like it’s com-

pletely different, and when I first saw it, I was like, ‘Whoa, people are gonna freak out about this,’ but once you get used to it, it’s even more user-friendly,” said sophomore Anne Gaskins, who is already using Timeline on her profile. Though it may have an easy-touse layout, Timeline still provides a good reminder of what to post and what not to post on the Internet. “I think it’s making people more aware of the risks of sharing too much,” said Whitman IT Security Officer Mike Osterman. Recommending pages like Sophos, which posts tips on Facebook pri-

PIO PICKS

vacy, Osterman added that students should “take this as an opportunity to get more familiar with what your privacy settings are.” “‘If people who will be important in my future see this, will it be embarrassing?’ I think that’s the key question,” said Assistant Vice President of Communications Ruth Wardwell. For better or worse, Timeline is coming—after an initial opt-in period, all user profiles will be converted to the new format. In the meantime, users can start considering how these changes will impact their sharing habits.

Each Thursday, The Pioneer highlights several events happening on campus or in Walla Walla during the weekend. Here are this week’s picks: ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ Tryouts In preparation for the Saturday, Nov. 12 showing of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” tryouts for the shadow cast and opening dancers will be held in Maxey. Take the stage in a night of wild debauchery and B-movie fun! No acting experience required.

FAH shelters creativity, passion

Thursday, Oct. 13, 8 p.m. Maxey Auditorium.

by MALLORY MARTIN

‘Persian Sunfire Window’ Unveiling Acclaimed glass artist Dale Chihuly and Walla Walla Foundry President Mark Anderson ‘78 present Whitman with the gift of a new custom glass installation. Come see the new piece, inspired by ancient Middle Eastern art, in an unveiling ceremony in Cordiner.

Staff Writer

Caitlin Goldie ’12 (above) models her unique look that combines vintage pieces and newer items. Photo by Beck

STYLE SPOTLIGHT Every week, The Pioneer searches out Whitties who bring an extra splash of fashion consciousness and sartorial daring to campus. This week’s Style Spotlight: Senior theatre major Caitlin Goldie.

he Fine Arts House offers a haven for some of the creative, artsy kids running around Whitman’s campus. Two of the current residents, sophomores Zoe Randol and Russell Sperberg, talked about life in the interest house, their connections with art and what to consider if you’d like to live there next year. The Fine Arts House, established in 1982, is located on the corner of Boyer Ave. and Otis St. Adorned with a colorful sign and a rainbow hammock, it exudes the vibe of a bohemian artist commune. “It’s very different than living in a dorm,” said Sperberg. “It’s a lot cozier, but it’s living in close proximity with six people who you kind of know, but you don’t know what it will be like to live with them. It’s trial by fire.” “But we all get along really well,” Randol added. “We’re a very high-energy group. It’s nice that our big personalities clash well.” Sperberg, a theatre major with a passion for piano, decided to join the house after visiting for dinner one evening. “I loved all the people involved, and I thought it would

“Things that I’m attracted to, for myself to wear, are usually just things that stand out to me. Things that I think are unusual I’m usually attracted to. I think that people should just wear whatever they want. People are often afraid to wear things; like, people will tell me, ‘Oh my gosh, I could never pull that off,’ or something, and I always think that’s kind of ridiculous, because why not? Why can’t you just wear whatever you want? Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

The FAH (above) offers a stimulating abode for creative students. Photo by von Hafften

be more in tune with the things that I like to do,” said Sperberg. A graduate of a performing arts high school, Randol was accustomed to being surrounded by artists of a multitude of disciplines. “I like talking with people who are passionate about arts other than my own,” she said. “It increases my love for my field.” When asked about the interview process for the house, both performers recalled a particular request by R.A. Julia Schneider. “Julia asked me to hand in a CD of my art,” said Sperberg, who

by CAITLIN HARDEE A&E Editor

“My scarf was my greatgrandma’s, and I inherited a lot of her scarves and clothes and costume jewelry and such. I wear her things often. It has definitely an emotional attachment because of that. The boots I got in Portland, in a little store that was across the street from my favorite tea place. It’s in a neighborhood that I really like.”

“For a lot of my short little life so far, I think, like, Jackie O. was sort of a fashion icon to me, but that sort of branched off from that, and now I just wear a bigger variety of things.”

Sweet Adelines Join the Sweet Adelines, Walla Walla’s female a cappella group, for an evening of live music, with guests the Blue Mountain Chorus and Blueprint Quartet. Tickets online at www.bluemountainchorus2011.eventbrite.com and in-store at Book & Game.

turned in a CD of all the songs that had ever had an impact on him. Randol, an actress and an English major, found this particular request a little more difficult, but rose to the challenge. “I just submitted some silly pictures of me acting,” said Randol. “Some of them were legitimate, some were just of me making some really ridiculous stage faces.” “It’s about the right fit,” Schneider said. “Come to one of our house dinners, take a tour, make sure this is the right place for you.”

Friday, Oct. 14 and Saturday, Oct. 15, 7:30 p.m. WWCC Performing Arts Center.

Tatsuya Nakatani The Art and Music Departments present visiting improv drummer Tatsuya Nakatani. Nakatani explores resonance and percussion, using violin bows to manipulate the vibrations of cymbals and singing bowls. Monday, Oct. 17, 7:30 p.m. Chism Recital Hall.

Latte lovers’ guide to Walla Walla coffee scene

Style Sound Bites

“Basically, I put outfits together at the last minute, and I just wear whatever I feel like wearing in the morning. I don’t really give it too much thought, but I do think about it.”

Friday, Oct. 14, 4 p.m. - 5 p.m. Cordiner Hall.

Lattes from Reid Espresso, Starbucks and the Colville Street Patisserie (top to bottom). Photos by Hardee (top), Felt

s coursework piles up and the daylight dwindles, you may find yourself craving a caffeine pick-up. But where to find your fix? I headed to three local coffee shops and tried a nonfat latte at each. Here’s the latte lowdown on Reid Espresso, the Main Street Starbucks and the Colville Street Patisserie. Scaldingly hot and unfailingly acrid, the lattes at Reid are possibly the worst java for your buck in Walla Walla. The café brews Starbucks coffee, so the difference between the two products lies with the technique of the Bon Appétit baristas, the equipment, or both. The flavor resembles a burnt piece of toast lad-

en with rancid butter. Most egregiously, these lattes are consistently devoid of foam. They appear to contain some kind of heated dairy product, but it’s decidedly lacking in froth—a disgrace to the name of latte. Meanwhile, the $3.25 price for a 12 oz. latte makes this not only the worst of the three lattes, but also the most expensive. The only conceivable reason to grab coffee here? Convenience. For students in a rush, Reid provides a more immediate location than the coffee shops downtown. Starbucks’ nonfat latte simmers at a drinkable temperature with a nice layer of foam. The latte has a smooth flavor, although it’s a little bland. The Starbucks on Main Street offers a comfortable environ-

ment to study or relax with friends, and prices are fairly cheap at $2.72 for a 12 oz. latte. The Colville Street Patisserie’s nonfat latte is bursting with rich, multi-textured flavor to satisfy even the most demanding coffee connoisseur. Every aspect down to the hue of the brew, swirling in soft shades of warm mahogany, shows more depth and dimension than either of the other two lattes. If you stay there to enjoy your drink, they’ll serve it with intricate designs in the foam in a nice ceramic mug. And with the Patisserie’s lovely modern interior design, done in stone and beautiful curving surfaces and adorned with art, hanging out for a few minutes is anything but difficult. $3.15 for a 12 oz. latte. All prices are listed with tax included.

New Whitties share study soundtracks by CLARA BARTLETT Staff Writer

s Whitman’s new class of 2015 learns how to balance upcoming midterms, hectic study weekends and latenight cram sessions, music seems to be a necessary distraction and a helpful tool to get through it all. This past week, The Pioneer polled new Whitman students about their needs and opinions regarding study music. Most agreed that the best study music consists of more laid-back, less beat-driven music. “I can’t listen to screaming music,” said first-year Franchesca Cortés.

Fellow first-year Lauren Platman agreed. “I prefer more mellow, less repetitive music. I also definitely can’t study and listen to music I’ll sing along to,” she said. But while certain study soundtrack needs were more general, some students offered up specific study music likes and dislikes. “Definitely no Wu-Tang Clan,” said first-year Alex Beard. “No hip-hop,” said firstyear Matthew Nelson. “I like baroque. Handel is the best to listen to because it is so relaxing.” Other popular study music included Bon Iver, Fleet Foxes, Beirut, RJD2, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Franz Ferdinand, Deerhunter and Department of Eagles. However, some students preferred no music or non-lyrical music. “I typically don’t listen to music with lyrics while studying,” said first-year Annabelle Marcovici. “But when I do listen to music, I listen to Venetian Snares. It’s a breakcore band. I feel like it helps me think faster.” “Music can be kind of distracting,” said first-year Ruth Hwang, adding that she sometimes listens to recordings of rain to help her concentrate. Marcovici expressed similar methods. “When I just want to stay focused I listen to white noise on my headphones,” said Marcovici. “When I’m doing math or anything with numbers, I like to listen to rap,” said first-year Henry Allen. “But when I’m reading I can’t listen to anything. I feel like when I’m listening to music I’m either trying to learn the lyrics or trying to sing along; therefore, I find that music can really hurt my concentration.”

ILLUSTRATION BY BAILEY

Movie Review by Nathan Fisher Hearing the title “Drive,” the average moviegoer would get psyched up for a fast-paced, thrilling ride. However, after a great opening chase scene, nobody does much driving in this 2011 octane-tinged crime film. “Drive,” like its title, has no frills whatsoever and apparently the director believes that silence is golden. No drama, no dialogue— what’s left to watch? The hunk? “Drive” follows Ryan Gosling, known only as the Driver, a stunt man by day and a getaway driver by night. When the Driver falls for his neighbor Irene, who has a husband in jail and a nice kid, the plot moves along predictably through the first hour. The Driver goes on a date with Irene and, when they return, carries the young boy into bed, but still only opens his mouth to put in his toothpick. After about an hour, I was re-

ally hoping the movie was going to be over soon. Then the film took an unpredicted U-turn. Irene’s husband comes home and is forced to rob a pawnshop, and the Driver offers to help. Finally the movie shifts out of second gear and—BAM— the husband is shot and killed. The action ramps up as the Driver tries to avenge the death of Irene’s husband. How sweet—well, not really. Enter Albert Brooks (playing a neurotic person as usual—remember the voice of the dad in “Finding Nemo”?). Brooks gives the culinary one-two punch to an employee, a fork in the eye followed by two stabs of the butcher knife to the jugular. Excellent cinematography and the silence, even if it does drag on, dramatically magnifies the gratuitous violence tenfold. Read the rest of this review at www.whitmanpioneer.com

KWCW SHOW OF THE WEEK

GRAPHIC BY ALDEN

‘Dead Sun Rising’ Jay Duncan takes you to the Land of the Rising Sun via the underworld. Spinning indie rock, metal, cybergrind, digital hardcore, Japanese psych rock, vinyl and cassettes. Mountain Goats to Merzbow and the entire spectrum betwixt. Mondays, 2 a.m. - 7 a.m. On the dial at 90.5 FM Walla Walla and streaming live at 2. For requests, call (509) 527-5283.

SPORTS

Oct

13 2011

PAGE

SCOREBOARD Volleyball

vs. Lewis & Clark College Oct. 8

Loss 1-3

Soccer

Men’s vs. Whitworth University Oct. 8 Women’s vs. Willamette University Oct. 8 vs. Whitworth University Oct. 12

Loss 1-2 Loss 1-2 Loss 1-2

UPCOMING Vollyball

vs. Pacific University Oct. 14 vs. George Fox University Oct. 15

Away Away

Soccer

The women’s soccer team runs drills on the practice field. Their current conference record is 3-5, with zero ties. They stand one win higher than they did at this point last season, and continue honing their skills with new techniques. Playing more offensively, the women have averaged 17 shots on goal per game this season. Photos by Bernstein

New coach, playing style kick women into high gear by SYLVIE LUITEN Staff Reporter

fter recent changes in both coaching and playing style, the women’s soccer team has made improvements in its game and managed to maintain a strong team atmosphere. The team has increased the number of defenders and reduced the number of attackers. The team, which has yet to lose a conference game this season, had an overall record of 8-9-2 in 2009 and 6-11-2 in 2010. The women say their playing style has evolved with the team. “Freshman year we played 4-4-2 and now we’re playing a 4-51 system. We changed our playing

style tactically and that has both positives and negatives,” says junior co-captain Jaclyn Rudd, describing, from defense to offense, the layout of players on the field. “Last year we played a 3-5-2 system so now there’s one less defender and one more forward which is working better,” says Rudd. Changes in the team’s system have been based on playing to the strengths of the team each year. “We’ve adjusted to the strengths on the team fairly well— as people graduated, we switched a lot,” said junior Erin Flannery. Scott Shields was coach of the women’s soccer team until two years ago, when he switched to coaching men’s and women’s

cross country. Following a nation-wide search, current Head Coach Heather Cato was brought to Whitman. This is her second season with the women. “Scott had Corina Gabbert, who was a big scorer, and to not have her changed the way we played. We work as a unit now rather than to certain individuals,” said Cato. Since Cato’s arrival, the women’s tactics on the field have been adjusted. “We use a system that best fits our personnel. We added a bit more competition and aggressiveness,” said Cato. Adjustments were necessary for the new coach, who came from the University of Ar-

kansas, where she participated on the soccer team as a player and later as an assistant coach. “It’s hard going from being a player to a coach, but the hardest is going from Division I where sports are number one to Division III where school is number one. I’m really trying to help them be successful in both,” said Cato. The team helped Cato make the adjustment to be an effective DIII coach. “[Cato] didn’t know how [our system] works, so she really listened to us and adjusted,” said Flannery. Despite major changes in coaching and playing style, the team has managed to stay unified. “We maintained cohesive-

Men’s vs. University of Puget Sound Oct. 15 vs. Pacific Lutheran University Oct. 16 Women’s vs. Pacific Lutheran University Oct. 16 vs. University of Puget Sound Oct. 15 vs. Trinity College Oct. 19

Away Away Away Away Home

Cross Country Men’s and Women’s Boxer Rebellion Oct. 15

Away

Golf

Women’s NWC Four-Way Match Oct. 15

Away

ness despite the changes,” says Flannery. “Both coaches have really emphasized team cohesiveness,” said Rudd, who played one year under Shields before he made the switch to cross country. “This team is a big family that Scott started and we’ve continued. Being so far away from mine it’s really nice to be able to come here and have that soccer family,” added Cato.

DeCramer ‘12, a senior politics major with a passion for education policy and “Sesame Street,” moonlights as a defensive player on the Munchers IM football team. Photo by Li

Athlete Profile: IM football player Katie DeCramer ’12 by PAMELA LONDON Staff Reporter

“You would think she was beaten, but really she’s a badass.” Teammate Hayley Falk ‘12 Profile: Katie DeCramer Class: Senior Major: Politics, Spanish minor Hometown: Mendota Heights, Minn. What first brought you to Whitman? Whitman was the last school I visited, and I just had a really good visit. I was really impressed with the students and the classes and just the general kindness and sense of community. How did you get involved with flag football? I’ve always played sports, so this wasn’t the first sport I’ve played. [I played] varsity basketball throughout high school. I really like contact sports. What position do you play? Center, offensive line and sometimes [defensive] line. I hear you have an interesting story from your freshman year about cookies and a broken nose. (Laughs) My first semester I played one and a half games and then broke my nose. I was playing d line, and I smashed my head against another person’s head. Spent the afternoon in the ER with a teammate; then I came back to my room and found that the other team had come to see how I was doing and brought me freshly baked cookies. For that to happen in the first three weeks of school, it sucked because I had two black eyes, but it was really sweet that the other team made me cookies. Literally, people gave me looks

for the next month. Another kid in my Core class got stitches from flag football so we joked that we were the same. After not playing your sophomore year, how did you get back into the game? [Senior] Emily Johnson asked me if I wanted to play and I was like, yeah, I want to play again. I needed contact sports in my life. What’s something unusual about your experience with flag football? My dad went to school to be a Catholic priest and he ended up playing center. After I scored my first touchdown on a center sneak last year, I called my dad. It’s neat because when you look at girls’ flag football, their moms didn’t play, so it’s a father-daughter thing. Shifting gears: Tell me about State of the State. It’s a community-based research class taught by Professor Paul Apostolidis. What we are doing is partnering with community-based organizations to conduct research for them, both as a way to improve the efficiency of their programs by researching the areas where they see the most need for research and also as viewing a democratic process on a research level. My research project specifically is to conduct field interviews with Latino students and parents at Walla Walla public schools. The big key is addressing the achievement gap. This class is my life. And your thesis research? For my thesis, I am researching the globalization of “Sesame Street.” Children watch international co-productions of “Sesame Street” in 140 countries across the world, making it the most-watched children’s televi-

Setting out with high hopes, the women’s volleyball team has seen a difficult fall season with two key players injured and an overall 0-8 NW Conference record. Corie Brewer ‘13 currently leads the team in season kills with a total of 101. Photo by Bernstein

sion show in the world. An example of this process of globalization mixed with local cultural curriculum goals is that in South Africa the cast of “Takalani Sesame” includes Kami, an HIVpositive muppet whose mother died of AIDS. The inclusion of Kami in the show is part of the world’s first preschool HIVAIDS prevention education. My thesis aims to figure out what the globalization of “Sesame Street” reveals about the nature of U.S. cultural imperialism—how “Sesame Street” works within the framework of cultural imperialism and moves beyond it. What are your plans once you leave Whitman? I don’t have a specific career goal necessarily. I love working with children and the U.S. public education system desperately needs reform. I have considered being an elementary school bilingual teacher as a steppingstone to a career in education policy, specifically focusing on how schools can better overcome the achievement gap. My very broad goal is to address how racism is institutionalized in the U.S. public education system.

Whitman Sports weekly factoid The Whitman women’s Cross Country team is currently ranked No. 25 in the nation among NCAA Division III schools, and 3rd among West Region teams, only behind McKenna-Scripps-Mudd and Lewis & Clark College. Ranked 18th nationally two years ago, the team made its first nationals showing at the 2009 Division III national championships.

Ally program to spark LGBTQ conversation among athletes from ALLIES, page 1

“We have a sort of complacency because people don’t think homophobia is an issue anymore on Whitman campus, so there are a lot of things that fall by the wayside. And that includes homophobia in varsity sports,” says swim captain senior Matt Rowett, one of Whitman’s Athlete Ally representatives. “I don’t think that Whitman is an overtly homophobic place at all,” says senior ultimate frisbee player Alice Minor, Whitman’s other student Athlete Ally representative. However, latent language and behavior that assumes heterosexuality for both men and women continues to alienate some athletes. “There’s still the kind of language and kind of general consensus about what it means to be an athlete that can kind of build up walls between us,” says Minor, referencing the overwhelmingly hetero-normative culture still surrounding athletes. “I’m queer, and I’m an athlete. This is a hard project to describe, but I think it’s really important,” says Minor. “We just want to set a precedent to make it something that people talk about. We’re trying to create a conversation,” says Rowett. This conversation is about homophobia in athletics, but is ultimately grounded in elements of respect and tolerance essential in team unity. “We want people to recognize that homophobia in athletics and on the Whitman campus in general is not non-existent; it is still present, and similarly in athletics nation-wide it is a very important issue. We want this conversation to become an important part of team dynamics,” says Rowett.

Rowett and Minor plan to meet with student representatives from all varsity sports teams in the coming weeks and hope to spread the discussion to each team through team leaders, coaches and administrators. “I don’t think this is going to be effective if it’s only two people making the push for this; we need the entire campus, the entire athletic department behind us,” says Rowett. Athletic Director Dean Snider has been helping plan Rowett and Minor’s initiative at Whitman. “I’m glad to support this cause in any way I can. I would fully expect that our students, our faculty, our staff, our coaches would be glad to be a part of this. I think it can only have a positive effect,” says Snider. The varsity swim team signed the pledge last week after watching an informational video and having a short discussion about the program. The hope is that the discussion Athlete Ally starts among Whitman athletes will eventually spread beyond Walla Walla. “I hope at Whitman that this creates a dialogue—but I hope nationally it really creates this discussion around what comments we’re making, how we use our words and how that affects people’s acceptance of themselves and their acceptance as athletes,” says Street. While this grassroots program has great potential, it won’t be effective unless taken to heart by participants. “I want to make sure that we have people do more than sign a piece of paper. It’s exciting; it’s fun to get people talking about something that is so important,” says Minor. For more information, please visit the Athlete Ally website at www.athleteally.com

PAGE

Oct

13 2011

WHEN WALLS TALK

Examining section stereotypes across campus Do students fit the supposed reputations of the residence halls and particular sections in which they are placed? Or are these stereotypes what Associate Dean of Students Nancy Tavelli calls “a self-fulfilling prophecy?” In Tavelli’s experience these stereotypes are not substantiated over time. “If you look at the long view that I do, expectations [of the residence halls] change,” she said. First-years are placed in dorms based on a computer program that uses the roommate questionnaire filled out by incoming students with separation by zip code to match students with similar expectations and lifestyle choices. Despite this method, there is no formula that guarantees an entire section will be perfectly cohesive or live up to a particular stereotype. And yet, students still focus on section stereotypes and rivalries, often judging their fellow students based on where they live on campus. This week, Feature tested the validity of these stereotypes with residents of various dorm sections and looked at the history of our residence halls.

FAST FACTS ASWC funds were once used to buy alcohol for residence hall parties. One example is the “New Dorm” dance, commemorating the opening of Douglas Hall in 1970. Gentlemen used to pick up their dates in Prentiss from the first-floor “beau parlor,” the only place men were allowed. College House, built in 1928, was an apartment building and the Riviera Motel before it was converted into a dorm in 1968. Marcus House was purchased by the Delta Tau Delta fraternity in 1966 and was used until the demise of the chapter in 1994. The Kirkman House was gifted to Whitman in 1920 and was used as a men’s dormitory. It was sold in 1923 and used as an apartment until it was placed on the National Register of Historic Homes in 1974. Anderson Residence Hall was named after a former Whitman College president.

ILLUSTRATION BY JOHNSON

Jewett ‘Pit’ by SUSANNA BOWERS Staff Reporter

n the past, the Pit has typically been characterized by a close-knit group of really fun, interesting girls. The idea of living with all girls in the basement of Jewett may not appeal to a lot of incoming freshman, but many quickly change their minds. “When I heard I was going to be in an all-girls section in a coed dorm, I wasn’t too terribly excited,” said Julia Bladin, current Pit resident. “But when I met these unique, outgoing girls, they completely changed my idea of the Pit.” It seems that this year isn’t much different than usual. “The Pit is just a rockin’ group of girls havin’ a rockin’ time!” said Zoe Pehrson, referring to her experience as their RA last semester and this semester. “Everyone is really different socially, but we all come together really well,” said Celia Lang, another Pit resident this year.

North Hall by MOLLY EMMETT

Staff Reporter

ere’s a trivia question fit for Whitties: What used to be an old hospital, has its own volleyball court and is sometimes believed to be located past the wheat fields? If you answered, North Residence Hall, you are correct! These are some commonly cited (and partially false) attributes of North, but the dorm’s reputation should really be examined through the eyes of the diverse students who have experienced it firsthand: the residents. Current first-year Richard Gagliardi made the choice to preference North because

he liked the idea of having a single—which North offers— but now asserts that he is pleased with the atmosphere as well. “All the dorms are great,” said Gagliardi, “but North is unique in that the sense of community is a bit stronger.” Still, some residents of North are willing to distinguish it from the other dorms, but in a way that embraces its unconventional image. “It takes a certain quirkiness to be willing to live here. I love it,” said sophomore Maggie Eismeier.

Jewett 2-West by TYLER KING Staff Reporter

f all the sections in Jewett, 2-West’s reputation is perhaps the most notorious for their hard-partying ways. First-year Zac Parker, a current 2-Wester, has a clear idea of how the section is perceived. “The stereotype is, you know, that 2-West is always pretty wild,” he said. Fellow first-year Brett Porter thinks the stereotype from past years affects the reputation of the current residents. “I kind of get the feeling that’s how we’re seen around campus—not because that’s actually how we are but more because of how people have been told to think about that,” he said. He asserts that 2-West is much more than just a wild section. “Everyone here is really close to each other and knows each other really well,” he said. Junior Matt Raymond lived in 2-West as a first-year and felt a similar closeness. He points to the tragic death of Richard O’Brien, a fellow 2-West resident, as something

that brought the section together. “He meant so much to so many different people in so many different ways and I think that showed just how dear everyone in that section was to each other,” he said. Though Raymond admits that 2-West may have been particularly wild that year, he maintains that 2-West is more than their reputation. “No matter what you think of that year’s 2-West, which is legendary for its antics, it always seems like a place where it’s just amazing how people can come together,” Raymond said.

Prentiss Hall by FRANNIE NUNN Staff Reporter

o one is as familiar with the Prentiss Hall stereotype as those who live in the building. The “Prentiss princesses,” “the most dangerous catch” and “afraid of boys” are on the tip of every resident’s tongue when asked about stereotypes. Prentiss is one of the quieter residence halls, and the actual layout of the building discourages inter-section and building-wide communication. However, the stigma surrounding Prentiss living has proven to be far from the truth. “People assume based on the quietness that they are less social,” said Resident Adviser of Alice section Sarah Stanger. “It is about half-and-half every semester, people who stay in on the weekends and people who go out.” Stanger did caution to take this information with a grain of salt, as she can only speak for trends noticed within the independent sections. The ladies of Prentiss are making a great effort to put an end to the “afraid

of boys” rumor. Alice section hosted a baking party with an Anderson Hall male section, and boys from all residence halls are regularly seen getting lost in the Prentiss corridors. “You are not the stereotype you are coming into. It is what you are going to make of who you live with. Attitudes should be changed,” said former RA and resident Lindsay Olson.

Lyman Tower

by SANDRA MATSEVILO Staff Reporter

“T

he stereotypes are only partially true. While Lyman does tend to draw more studious introverts, I have found that we are really not much more secluded than any other hall,” said first-year Ethan Scardina, a resident of the Lyman Tower. The Tower is a section in Lyman occupied by first-year, upperclassmen and transfer students of mixed genders, and is often described as a section which isolates itself, with individuals only making friends within the Tower. It is separated from the other sections of Lyman by both a door and the hall’s main lounge. “There isn’t as much interaction [between the] Tower to A section and B/C section as there is between A section and B/C section,” said Scardina. However, Scardina and other Tower residents are making an effort to increase interaction between Lyman sections, and reject the idea of an overarching stereotype for the Tower. “No stereotype can perfectly describe an individual; you’ll just have to come chill with us for that,” said Scardina.

Comparing then and now: A photo taken of a Lyman room in 1940 (left) complete with typewriter and fabric in place of a bulletin board. A current student’s room in Lyman (right). Photo at left contributed by Whitman College; photo at right by Bergman

North Hall has served several uses by the college since being converted from the Walla Walla General Hospital, including a catering service, conference center and book arts work area. “The Greater Whitman Plan,” an architectural design of the college proposed in 1908, included a grandiose series of columned buildings and a formal quadrangle where Ankeny lies today. The overly ambitious plan envisioned several academic buildings (Forestry and Irrigation, Mining and Geology, Civil and Mechanical, Arts and Architecture) as well as segregated gymnasiums and dormitories for men and women.

Anderson C-Section by KINSEY WHITE Staff Reporter

-Section in Anderson Hall is occupied by 26 first-year boys this semester who are unanimous in their agreement that their section does not boast a long-held stereotype. When C-Sec is a boys section, there is traditionally a rivalry with Jewett’s 2-West section. This year’s boys, however, do not agree. They recount an instance of a few 2-West residents’ attempt to prank them earlier this year for no apparent reason that then forced them to accept the rivalry. “We are kind of rivals with 2-West in a way,” said Colin Domonoske, C-Section firstyear. “They tried to prank us and we got them back.” Besides the imposed rivalry with the Jewett boys, C-Sec residents are known to be “bro-ey” and typically play sports. In the section this year, there are three cross country runners, one soccer player, one swimmer and a myriad of ultimate Frisbee players. Clayton Collins, another C-Section resident, emphasizes the musicality of the section this year. Both Collins and fellow C-Section first-year Dylan Martin are in the T-Tones a cappella group, and there are other section mates who play instruments such as the piano and ukulele. The section also agrees on the fact that they are really close, and that there is never a dull moment. “I think we bond really well together,” said Martin. “And we’re damn fine.” “That about sums it up, I’d say,” said Carl Garret, Martin’s roommate.

OPINION

Oct

13 2011

PAGE

Herbal cures not valid substitute for medicine PHILLIP CHENG First-year

ometimes there is an inclination to distrust the U.S. government and Western medicine. We have heard about things like the medical industrial complex. So as an alternative, some people are more willing to trust natural remedies. In most cases, trusting these kinds of herbal healers would not be a problem. But for serious diseases like AIDS, any socalled cure is immoral because

it spreads false hope. In certain parts of Africa, there is little or no access to antiretroviral drugs. Those with AIDS have little hope and sometimes cling to any cure that anyone proposes. An example is seen in Gambia. In 2007, President Yahya Jammeh proposed and administered an AIDS cure. The Gambian health ministry claimed the cure eradicated the virus from patients. However, the original viral load tests were done in a university in Dakar, Senegal and showed patients still had significant amounts of the virus in their blood. The government dismissed this claim and refused to reveal what was in the cure. So how do you spot a hoax AIDS cure or any other herbal cure? Well, there are a few ways: First, no medical expert or healer would ever claim that a cure is a miracle breakthrough or that it can cure 100 percent of patients.

Also, no medical expert would claim that a certain substance can cure many different diseases. First of all, there is no single cure that can work for everyone. Different people react differently to different medicines. There are all different types of people with all different body types; no cure will be 100 percent effective. Other times, people have allergies which do not allow them to take a certain medicine, whether it is synthetic or herbal. Another example is that just because a medicine is natural does not always mean that that medicine is good. Many natural chemicals can be harmful to humans. For example, hemlock and ricin both occur naturally in the castor bean, and they are extremely toxic. Also, note that just because a substance is man-made does not mean that it will be bad for you. A third way to tell is by see-

ing how many people a herbal drug has been tested on. The only way to check a drug’s effectiveness is by testing it among many patients. However, some herbal healers may say they have not been able to do adequate testing because the U.S. government shut them down or suppressed information on their cure to protect U.S. interest in established lucrative medical companies. They claim that the medical industrial complex exists through government. Even if this were true, the only way to know a drug’s effectiveness is through extensive testing. Conspiracy theories may say that the government or medical companies may be suppressing the cure for AIDS. However, the truth is that western medicine still has difficulty finding a cure. Antiretroviral drugs can suppress HIV in the body’s system, but they can-

not cure patients. The tricky part is that the virus inserts its genetic material into a host’s cells and remains dormant for years or decades while the patient takes the antiretroviral drugs. Current research is looking for a way to destroy these infected cells. Furthermore, government conspiracies asserted by these kinds of herbal healers may be overblown. The U.S. government does not solely support lucrative drugs. For example, the government is currently doing research on human hormones such as interleukin-2. Like the human genome, these cannot be patented and therefore cannot yield large profits. So, people can be skeptical of the U.S. government—it is healthy to do so, and it is their right as U.S. citizens—but people should also be wary of herbal healers.

Modern communication lacks Al-Awlaki assassinated; heart but provides convienence no due process of law by SETH DAWSON ’12

ELIZABETH COLE

Guest Columnist

First-year

am involved in not one but nine long-distance relationships. When I left for college I had no intentions of claiming any of the sort, but I am now two months into the semester and find myself devoting nearly every second of my free time to scheduling Skype dates, engaging in Facebook discussions and making late-night phone calls on the picnic tables outside of Anderson in the increasingly frigid October air. Before I left, a multitude of worries barraged my thoughts. My greatest fear was not just that my friends and I would grow apart, but that I wouldn’t care that we had. I was afraid of the impending apathy of my life. In order to combat this I have been spending an inordinate amount of time attached to my things in order to remain attached to people. My phone connects me to friends in Portland, Boston, Maine, Vermont and back home in California. Facebook permits me to have conversations with my friend in Rome who otherwise would be quite difficult to catch and expensive to talk to because of the

ILLUSTRATION BY DOUGLAS

distance. But the more text messages I send and the more Skype calls I make, the more I am beginning to realize that my attempts to maintain these relationships are frustratingly futile. It has been said that technology is deteriorating the modern relationship. But it always seemed to me to enhance my friendships. The time spent

10% off a 4 pack & 20% off a 6 pack (for Whitman Students)

Free delivery to Whitman campus on orders for 2 dozen or more.

7 S. First Avenue, Walla Walla WA 99362 phone: 509.525.2434

apart, however, has made it clear that that is exactly what it was: an enhancement, not the foundation of a relationship. Being able to communicate with people through technology is a harrowing feature of modernity. It would be undoubtedly more difficult to hear of each other’s lives without the utility of Facebook or our cell phones. But at the same time, there is no replacement for good ol’ fashioned conversation. I cannot duplicate the experience of interacting with a person through Facebook chat. I cannot simulate the feeling of being in the presence of a friend through texting him. And I cannot receive a hug from the image on my Skype screen. No matter how fervently I attempt to retain these relationships in the form I left them in, it is something I will never be able to do. And that has proved incredibly difficult to admit. But taking a break now does not mean that we cannot pick up where we left off. As my friend’s roommate told her, “having any intense emotion towards your friends at all just proves that you care.” So rather than draw me into submission, the intense frustration and futility I often feel in attempting to maintain these relationships while we are apart assures me that they are worth the effort. And that is in itself is the strikingly paradoxical nature of the situation: Although my efforts will invariably be in vain, the very fact that I am willing to make them at all is what makes them worthwhile.

Voices from the Community

he Obama Administration has decided that it has the authority to kill citizens at its discretion, ignoring any and all Constitutional rights that get in the way. Last month, the government assassinated two American citizens in Yemen with no due process, no trial, no charges and no legal justification. The deaths of Anwar al-Awlaki and Samir Khan were hailed by the President as “another significant milestone in the broader effort to defeat al Qaeda and its affiliates,” but it would have been more accurate to call it a milestone on the road to authoritarianism. As citizens, we are supposed to be protected by the “due process of law.” The Fifth Amendment guarantees that the government will respect people’s rights when it decides to prosecute, fine, incarcerate or kill them for a crime. Despite their ties to al Qaeda, al-Awlaki and Khan had the same rights as every other citizen. They had the right to be informed of their crime. They had the right to a trial by jury. They had the right to face their accusers and the right to legal representation. The Obama Administration decided to skip all those minor Constitutional hurdles—trials can be so annoying sometimes— and jump straight to the execution. Now, in the aftermath of two unconstitutional assassinations, the Administration is refusing to tell us what evidence it used to justify killing these citizens. White House spokesman Jay Carney assured the press that the Administration would only target citizens who threaten the nation, but revealed nothing about how it would determine who is a threat. Last week, Reuters reported that “American militants like Anwar al-Awlaki are placed on a kill or capture list by a secretive panel of

senior government officials, which then informs the president of its decisions . . . There is no public record of the operations or decisions of the panel . . . Neither is there any law establishing its existence or setting out the rules by which it is supposed to operate.” Apparently we all owe an apology to Sarah Palin; Obama does have a death panel after all. Of course, this death panel is far more sinister than the ones Palin suggested were hiding in the Affordable Care Act. It has been empowered to decide which citizens are entitled to their Constitutional rights and which citizens are unprotected “threats.” It can determine who has the right to due process, the right to a trial by jury and the right to be free from cruel and unusual punishments on whatever grounds it sees fit. Because it has no public record and is governed by no laws, this panel never has to reveal the standard of evidence it uses to make its decisions. What does it take to earn a spot on that kill list? How much evidence is enough to prove that a citizen is a threat worthy of assassination? We the People have no idea. The Obama Administration refuses to tell us. The key to our government is the separation of powers. There are checks and balances, designed to keep any one branch from gaining too much power over the people. Through these assassinations, the Obama Administration is subverting this separation, setting the precedent that American citizens can be imprisoned and killed at the discretion of an unchecked, ungoverned executive panel. The only way to fight against this authoritarian power is to check it with the power of another branch of government. I urge you to call your Senators and Representatives and ask how they intend to protect your rights. The number for the Congressional switchboard is (202) 224-3121.

Political Cartoon by Eddy Vazquez

What was/is your first-year section’s stereotype and do you think it is accurate?

YONAH BIERS-ARIEL

LYDIA COLLINS

KEVIN DYER

KATHERYN BOGLEY

First-Year

Sophomore

Junior

First-Year

“People generally think ies are reclusive. I think it in some cases, but there ly some outgoing people in

that Northmay be true are definitemy section.”

“I live in North this year and the stereotype is generally that people are quiet and awkward. I would say this is half true and half false.”

“My freshman year, there’s not much of a stereotype for [Jewett] 4-East, but my year we would’ve been the nerds. Basically there were two groups of people hating the crap out of each other.”

“I‘m not really sure what the stereotype of [Anderson] D-sec is, but everyone is really friendly. There is a good mix of things, but sometimes people can be argumentative.”

BACKPAGE

Oct

13 2011

PAGE

SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY READING THE PIO!?

oday a female student was spotted with an issue of the Whitman Pioneer, the local campus newspaper. She was tall, with brown hair and blue eyes, and in her hands and before her eyes was a large piece of paper that is rumored to have had a banner reading “The Pioneer.” The girl was interviewed, and her name was determined

to be Hailey Bergner, and her interview made it into the paper that she was reading. “I want to know what’s going on on campus on a week-to-week basis, I think,” she said. “That must be why I picked it up.” The color scheme seemed to be blue and orange, with the color photography and illustrations on the front

page as well as other pages. However, most of the colors of the paper were black and white. This includes the black and white words throughout and even some black and white illustrations and photography. Editor-in-Chief Patricia Vanderbilt was both shocked and awed at the news of this odd and spectacular occurrence.

“This might mean that might get more bids advertising,” she said. An extensive survey was taken across a wide spectrum of Pioneer readers named Hailey Bergner and the results concluded that she was only reading the Backpage. To this, Humor Editor Adam Brayton responded by guffawing we for

and rejoicing. In a public statement to his fellow editors, he said, “In y’all’s faces!” Other uses of the paper that don’t involve reading it include toilet paper, sweet hats, napkins, substrates for peeling potatoes and school-paper bras. The staff of The Pioneer staff assumes that this is what people must do with the paper.

brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick No Wednesday or Friday classes—can anyone say 6-day? brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick On jet plane to Costa Rica! brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Morning martinis in Monteverde. brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Drunkard monkeys trying to steal my drank. Anybody remember that Dane Cook bit about fighting a monkey? Living the dream. brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Ziplining through the trees! Do I see a quetzal? brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Hot tubbin’ in the Arenal hot springs. Bet I got that native girl pregnant . . . hahahaha brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick On the coast surfing, riding a tidal wave of whiskey on a surfboard made of don’t give a shit. NBD. brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Heli’d out of C.R. On my way to L.A., suckas! brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick At Avett Brothers concert! Scoping out that fine lady you really like. brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick That 3-way I had with that girl and her friend was awesome. brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Just found out West Hollywood is totes gay. Is there an East Hollywood rofl? brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Smokin’ blunts with my main man Snoop Dogg! brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Rollin’ with some homies through Compton like it ain’t no thang. Hello, black people! brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Off to Bend. Crashing at uncle’s mansion! brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Mansion—>rafting—>hooking up with cute girl from rafting trip—>hiking in beautiful country with spectacular girl—>pub time! brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Enjoying a tall pint of Black Butte Porter. This one’s to friends at school studying. brozb4hoz69 Chip Chadwick Back on campus! Stoked I didn’t actually have work to do over 4-day. Whaaat.

ILLUSTRATION BY BOWEN

Bad to the Bone: Dining hall drinking game

Complaining about Bon Appétit (or as they call it at Lewis and Clark, “The Bone”) is an age-old pastime at Whitman, going back many, many centuries. But what people need to realize is that it’s all old hat. How do we make it new hat? Make a drinking game out of it, duh. Very simple rules: If the following happens at the Bone, drink. If you want to add more rules, go for it. Here they are. • Every time the milk machine is out of milk. DRINK. • Every time the Jewett salad bar runs out of salad things before you get there. DRINK. • Grilled Cheese Monday. DRINK. • Every time someone complains about Prentiss being too vegetarian. DRINK. • Can’t find a seat at brunch. DRINK. • You want to sit at a booth with a buddy, but it’s just him and his girlfriend. DRINK. • You just want a fork, but people won’t move. DRINK. • You finally get there . . . no forks. DRINK. • Dessert is gone when you come back for it. DRINK. • When Jewett finally gets its soft serve back. SHOTGUN. • When someone finally notices that the “Eat Local Challenge” is a total sham. SHOTGUN BAILEY’S.

Comic by Jung Song

FLAG FOOTBALL FEMME FATALE

EY. I didn’t get an invite by one of your paper’s fancy-schmancy Sports Profiles, but I don’t need any of that shizz. I play on one of the BAMFest female flag football teams here at Whitman, the Librarians of Laceration. For the record, I’m wearing my mudand-blood-stained flag football jersey, some pink shorts and a scarf. Sort of going for the quietly deadly vibe. First off, let me just say that the last game? LAME. We totes slaughtered those Ribbon Crushers 52-8. RIDONKULOUS. I mean, they did get eight points (even though that last point was when the quarterback’s severed arm, still holding the football, happened to fly into the end zone during a particularly brutal play), but still. It’s EMBARRASSING. Anywhooz. We all get pretty beat up playing flag football; I mean, it’s all PART OF THE GAME. Some nerds might think that flag football is less of a contact sport than real football. WELL, THEY’RE WRONG.

Flag football is responsible for like 90 percent of my physical imperfections. I mean, dude, my right elbow bends both ways now. I have a flippin’ TORN NOSTRIL. I got a bruise on my thigh THE EXACT SIZE AND SHAPE OF THE STATE OF TEXAS, give or take ten square miles. Baby got the thunder thighs. I’ve also got a scar on my right shoulder that I affectionately call “Nessie.” And, boy, do I like to show off my battle scars. I dress every morning based on which injury I wanna flaunt. Nostril? Highlighted by nose ring. Texas bruise? Running shorts. Nessie? Muscle shirt. I thrive on disgusted shrieks from total wimps who can’t stand the sight of a festering wound. Pathetic. They just don’t understand: it’s about the game, it’s about being with your gurls and giving 110 percent, one day at a time, it’s about—THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN CUT OFF RIGHT HERE FOR OVERUSE OF SPORTS CLICHÉS. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.