Whitman Pioneer - Spring 2010 Issue 6

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SKI MOGULS Men’s & women’s ski teams rise above adversity, secure spot at nationals

SAFFRON REVIEW

INDEPENDENT COOKING

Mediterranean Kitchen offers solid, if untraditional options

An in-depth look at students who cook for themselves with dining hall ingredients

WHITMAN COLLEGE Walla Walla, WA Volume CXXVI Issue 6 whitmanpioneer.com M , 

3-2 spurs debate at Town Hall by JOCELYN RICHARD News Editor

ASWC held its first Town Hall of the new decade on Wednesday, March 3, as numerous students, faculty and staff members gathered in Olin Hall to discuss everything from campus security to financial aid to the evolution of academic departments and course schedules. A report by Chair of the Faculty and Associate Professor of Astronomy Andrea Dobson on the faculty’s recent approval of 3-2 course schedules was on the forefront of the night’s agenda, which included brief news updates from ASWC executive council members on their respective committees followed by addresses from guest speakers Dobson and President George Bridges, who each participated in question-and-answer sessions. The faculty voted on Nov. 4, 2009 in favor of allowing individual academic departments to reduce professors’ course loads from six courses per year to five in an effort to reduce workloads. Dobson, who assumed her role as Chair of the Faculty in 2009, focused her Town Hall address on outlining the goals of the switch, disclosing aspects of the faculty’s decision-making process and addressing various challenges and setbacks. “Last year, an elected faculty committee called for responses from various departments and interdisciplinary pro-

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Peers to mentor conference speakers by ROSE WOODBURY Staff Reporter

PHOTOS BY BULLION

Clockwise from top left: ASWC President Nadim Damluji ‘10, Senator John Loranger ‘11 and ASWC Finance Chair Matt Dittrich ‘12, ASWC Communications Director Russ Caditz!Peck ‘10, ASWC Student Advocacy Coordinator Will Canine ‘10, members of the audience and Chair of the Faculty Andrea Dobson speak at Wednesday’s ASWC Town Hall, the first of spring semester.

grams to the basic question of: Could you move to a five-course load without messing with general education, making the size of the Encounters section go through the roof, mutilating your major? Could you be equitable in the distri-

bution of workloads among the faculty in the department?” Dobson said. She commented that the faculty committee allowed the transition to move forward under the proviso that students’ classroom experiences be unaffected.

“The foremost thing for making this happen has been that you can’t mess with the student experience,” Dobson said. “What you guys experience when you’re in the classroom has to be the TOWN HALL , page 2

Whitman students continue tradition of government service

Whitman and the military

A humanitarian commitment

Although the military has a low profile on campus these days, it has shared a long and often complicated history with Whitman. In a 2005 resolution, ASWC declared its opposition to recruitment on campus, yet today a f e w students still decide to enlist.

Participation in other government agencies, especially Peace Corps or AmeriCorps, remains high among Whitman alumni. With many diverse options, finding the right organization can be a challenge.

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Presenters to the Whitman Undergraduate Conference will be more than prepared this year as they are mentored by writing fellows provided by the Written and Oral Communication Initiative, a new program created from a recent gift to the College. Peer mentors will also work with students to polish speeches before they present their research on April 6, 2010. Classics professor Dana Burgess, one of the key organizers of the program, described the intended role of the peer mentors, or Oral Presentation Coaches, and said the experience they have makes them well-suited for the position. “The Oral Presentation Coaches will help presenters understand how they are being received by an audience,” Burgess said. “The coaches have been selected by the nomination of members of the Whitman faculty who identified these individuals as well-suited to offer this type of support. Most of the coaches have done work in the departments of theater or rhetoric and film studies, both of which give curricular attention to oral presentation.” Some of the mentors feel that their experience with speaking in front of audiences will help the speakers with the delivery of their presentations. Junior theater major Erin Terrall believes that his experience in acting will help the speakers. “I’ll be spending time with the presenters individually and first helping them with the logistical aspects of their presentation,” Terrall said. “Later I’ll work with them on posture, body WUC, page 2

Students Retired professor Mary Hanna passes away fight Work Study cuts with video by JOCELYN RICHARD News Editor

“People just don’t seem to think that students are all that grateful [for financial aid] anymore because we don’t tell them,” junior Kate Pringle said when discussing Governor Christine Gregoire’s recent decision to cut financial aid funding for Washington college students. “But that’s what [my project] was really about.” Pringle, a student worker in Whitman’s Office of Financial Aid, spent the final weeks of February conducting a series of video interviews with Whitman students as part of an effort by the Independent Colleges of Washington to raise awareness about threats to financial aid funding. Earlier this year, Gregoire proposed to suspend a number of financial aid programs available to Washington state college students in an effort to balance the state’s $2.6 billion budget shortfall. “It’s one thing for us to send a letter or for someone to quote statistics about how many students rely upon financial aid, but it’s an entirely different experience to see a real student telling their story and expressing how much they need the aid they receive,” Pringle said. “I only benefit from some of the programs that were in danger, but I know how many students really are affected by all of them due to my job, so it really made me anxious and a little outraged that the state would consider taking those programs away.” Thanks in part to the efforts of Pringle and other students from IWC colleges participating in the video project, both the House and the Senate passed AID, page 3

by JOSH GOODMAN Associate News Editor

Retired Whitman Politics professor Mary Hanna passed away on Wednesday, March 3, after a battle with cancer. Hanna came to Whitman in 1983 as an associate professor of political science and retired in 2000 after a distinguished teaching career. She taught courses on gender and politics, politics and the media and ethnic politics, and was the first woman to become chair of the Whitman faculty, Provost and Dean of Faculty Timothy Kaufman-Osbourn wrote in a campuswide announcement. She also chaired both the Department of Politics and the Division of Social Sciences. Hanna came to Whitman after teaching

at the University of Texas—San Antonio. “It was frustrating because I never got to know any of the students except for those one or two with chutzpah,” she told The Pioneer in 1999 of her experience at San Antonio. She got those opportunities at Whitman. Chair of Division II and Professor of Religion Jonathan Walters, who teamtaught a senior colloquium class with Hanna, recalled how she combined her love of acting and dedication of teaching to make for a memorable experience in a unit on “Friday Night Lights.” “One of the themes of the novel was the ‘Watermelon Feed,’ which involved a lot of watermelon and beer,” he said in an email. “We decided we should have one, so

Mary invited the whole class to her house, and served up, yep, watermelon and beer. She had on a big old Texan hat, and we loved faking thick southern accents.” Walters said Hanna’s death is a “terrible loss.” “She was suffering a lot, there was no chance of recovery, and it was just time for her to go. But I’ve had trouble all day, because I obviously can’t feel happy, either,” he said. “She was . . . one of the most dedicated teachers of undergraduate Americans it has ever been my privilege to know.” Bruce Magnusson, associate professor of politics and one of Hanna’s best friends, remembers Hanna as both gracious and influential.

“She found great joy in politics, in theatre, in writing, in sharing good food and lots of it, in Tony Soprano, in elaborate practical jokes and in her friends,” he said. “She had an enormous impact on building the college that Whitman has become.” Hanna remained active within the Whitman and Walla Walla communities following her retirement. She participated in Walla Walla’s Little Theater, including acting in the play “Graceland,” which won a theater competition in Edmonds, Wash. last year. She also recited poetry on campus as part of a recent dance theater production. A celebration of Hanna’s life open to the Whitman community will be held in April.

Lecture series seeks to keep climate on the mind by LEA NEGRIN Staff Reporter

“I don’t want to talk about climate change; I’m not going to talk about climate change. I want to talk about climate justice,” said David Schlosberg as he opened his lecture, “Rethinking Global Climate Justice: Capabilities, Vulnerabilities and Adaptations,” on Monday, March 1. Schlosberg, professor of politics and international affairs at Northern Arizona University, gave the second of four lectures this semester for Conversations on Climate Change, a new lecture series sponsored by the politics and environmental studies departments and the Global Studies Initiative. Schlosberg emphasized the climate justice paradigm: If people have the right to a steady climate, then they posses the duty to create one. He also addressed the theories and options available to rectify the situation. Professor of Political Science Phil Brick hopes for a renewed community

CORNELIUS David Schlosberg spoke Monday as part of the Conversations on Climate Change lecture series. The series seeks to keep students engaged in climate issues.

awareness through the lecture series. “The climate community’s constant messaging of doom and gloom is shopworn and can’t compete with people’s more urgent concerns about the economy, national security, education, etc.,” he said in an e-mail. “It’s

time to change the conversation.” Lecturers from the series also make classroom visits to allow students to ask questions about related topics. “I am firmly convinced that the wider the conversation, the more likely the public will come to understand

the many dimensions of the problem,” said Brick. Throughout the lecture, Schlosberg outlined the leading theoretical proposals for climate justice which led to an influx of questions pertaining to the feasibility of enacting those solutions. “Developing countries have done the least to pollute and yet many now face some of the most severe symptoms of global climate change . . . The question [now] is should they have to deal with such problems on their own?” asked first-year Daniel Merritt in an e-mail. Merritt found Schlosberg’s proposed adaptation relevant and intriguing. “[Schlosberg] brought up what I feel are genuine concerns with many environmental plans today. Especially the notion that it is too late for mitigation strategies. My concern lay with his notion that adaptive strategies still fall under the criteria of an aspect of CLIMATE , page 2


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TOWN HALL: Students question 3-2 change  page 1 primary criterion for whether faculty in various departments will move to a fivecourse load or not.” ASWC had previously voiced its concerns about the proposed course schedule in an open letter to the faculty issued on Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2009. The letter argued that the proposed switch could negatively affect the quality of education at Whitman by increasing class sizes and reducing the number of available courses. Despite the letter’s objections, the faculty voted overwhelmingly in favor of adopting the 3-2 schedule starting in the 2010-2011 academic year. In the aftermath of the vote, many students took advantage of Wednesday’s Town Hall to continue raising questions and concerns about the course schedule. Senior ASWC Student Advocacy Coordinator Will Canine protested the faculty’s decision not to petition students for input when planning the 3-2 transition. “You said that your first concern in making these decisions has been the student experience and the ways we feel the change in the classroom, and I want to be able to give you the benefit of the doubt on that,” Canine said in response to Dobson. “But you’ll have to forgive me if I feel that’s a little bit disingenuous. This is the first time that students on a large scale have been addressed about this issue, and I’m just curious why, when ASWC sends a letter voicing our concerns about the 3-2 . . . many members of the faculty met our letter with open hostility.” Dobson responded by acknowledging the tensions which ensued after the vote and stressing the importance of future communication between students and faculty. “I didn’t [consider students’ input], it didn’t occur to me,” said Dobson. “It flat out didn’t occur to me in September to say, ‘Yo, what do you all think about this,’ because we were already two years into the process. And I’m sorry.” Dobson looked to dispel certain myths about the proposed switch by assuring students that the number of courses and classroom spots available to students will not be as drastically reduced as they may think. “Part of the concern I know students have had is that this sounds like we’re just reducing the number of courses by one in six,” Dobson said. “Part of the data we have looked at from the registrar’s office suggests that . . . there’s an awful lot of slack [for classroom spots].” She explained that when students over-enroll in classes during registration, it appears that there are fewer spots available for students than actually exist. “There actually are a lot of spaces when you look more closely at registration numbers, with the exception of two or three departments, and we’re going to try to do something about that,” Dobson

said. One solution Dobson proposed is to redesign the college’s registration system to help students prioritize which courses they want to take most. She believes that if the registration period is staggered into different periods of time, and students are unable to register for all their classes at once, more spots will be available for students to enroll in their first-choice classes. Transfer students, Jan-starts and first-year students will especially benefit from this system. “We don’t want first-year students to find that classes they absolutely have to have are packed full,” Dobson said. As senior class senator Ellie Klein pointed out, however, over-enrolling in classes is an important part of the registration process because it allows students to sample classes early on in the semester. She believes Whitman students would benefit from a “shopping period,” allowing them to try out many different courses for a period of time before deciding which ones they want to keep in their schedules. Dobson agreed that the process of registering for classes needs to reevaluated in order to address students’ concerns. She promised to make a note of Klein’s suggestions and also added that students may have an easier time deciding on classes in the future thanks to a new federal law requiring colleges to release lists of required textbooks to students before they register for classes. For students in a number of departments, however, the process of selecting classes may prove more difficult. Another concern of the 3-2 transition is that certain academic departments face greater challenges in adjusting to the new course schedule due to the pressures of enrolling students and limited human resources. “Geo is one of the departments that can’t do this without some help,” Dobson said. “Music has trouble making a go of it because of the immense amount of time spent one-on-one with students. A couple years ago . . . there were people in first-semester organic chemistry classes sitting on the floor, and we’ve made some serious efforts to make sure that doesn’t happen again.” Dobson’s comments and questions from students throughout the night prompted one student to inquire about what aspects of the 3-2 schedule students should be excited about. “One of the senior faculty members who taught Encounters last semester, and who had a course reduction, was absolutely blown away by the extra amount of time he was able to spend one-onone in talking about writing with his first-year students,” Dobson said when describing some of the benefits students can look forward to when professors’ workloads are redistributed. “That’s what you ought to see, is more time for your faculty to be there.”

WUC: Mentors bring acting, debate skills  page 1 language, projection and delivery. I think this program will give presenting students a good opportunity to explore physical, vocal and presentationbased options that can make their final product stronger.” Junior Nigel Ramoz-Leslie believes that his experience on the debate team will help him coach others on public speaking, and ultimately help speakers produce a more effective presentation. “Most often, people have problems speaking with confidence or tend to spend lots of time using filler words like ‘um’ and ‘uh.’ The key is to create a method of practice where the overall

IN THIS ISSUE: News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1-3 A&E . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4-5 Feature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6-7 Opinion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8-9 Sports . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10-11 Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

CORRECTIONS FOR ISSUE 5: The photograph accompanying “Walla Walla Symphony affected by economy, changing tastes” on page 2 should be credited to Julia Bowman. All photographs on the Back Page should be credited to Brandon Fennell. All illustrations on the Back Page should be credited to Sam Alden.

speech is less interrupted by these issues so that the speaker can achieve a strong sense of credibility with the audience,” said Ramoz-Leslie. A few mentors said that they learned so much in Professor of Forensics Jim Hanson’s Fundamentals of Public Address class that they feel well qualified to train others. “I feel that I am leaps and bounds better at giving speeches and even speaking in general after taking the class. I plan to share with the WUC presenters some of the key (and easy) pointers we learned in class that improve speeches,” said junior Carson Burns. Senior Claire Lueneberg pointed out that not only will the program help the presenters improve their speaking skills, but it will benefit the audience too. “It’s really a win-win situation for everyone. The presentation is better, the presenter is hopefully more relaxed and the audience can better receive the information,” said Lueneberg. “What I really realized in Fundamentals of Public Address is that there is a huge difference between an effective presentation and a noneffective presentation. The span for quality is huge. The role of the mentors is to bring all of the presentations up to a higher quality. This can only serve to make the whole experience more useful for the presenters and more enjoyable and informative for the audience.”

GOLD Carol Milstein, parent of Brian Milstein, from Los Altos, Calif., and Emily Wilson of Portland tour campus last week. Admissions officers report an increase in early visits, in part due to more schools offering a mid!winter break. Overall visits for the year are similar to last year.

Prospie season starts early as midwinter breaks begin by HADLEY JOLLEY Staff Reporter

Whitman College runs campus tours three times per day, and the 11 a.m. tour on Saturday, Feb. 27, was packed. Ten prospective students and family members followed junior tour guide Julie Irvine around campus as she introduced buildings and reviewed Whitman history and trivia, like the fact that Whitman heats the stream year-round to keep ducks on campus. Campus tours—and the campus in general—have been busier lately with an influx of prospective students. “It’s because we’re getting closer to springtime,” said Irvine. The spring rush has started earlier this year, however, as students take advantage of mid-winter breaks to visit colleges while they are in session. “It appears to us that there are more schools doing a mid-winter break, including some in Western Washington,” said Kevin Dyerly, director of admission. “Normally, the peak is right around spring break.” Despite the influx of students visiting during mid-winter break, the number of visits this year is roughly the same as

last year. Daniel Bentson, a prospective transfer student currently enrolled as a first-year at Seattle University, drove over to Walla Walla on Friday, Feb. 26, and returned to school on Saturday in order to visit Whitman. He originally planned to attend Grinnell College, but chose to attend Seattle University for financial reasons. “Whitman is a small, intensely academic school in a rural setting,” said Bentson when asked on why he’s planning on transferring to Whitman. Whitman College is the only school to which he’s applied for a transfer. While Whitman fits many of the characteristics of the colleges he applied to the first time around, Bentson, who hails from Bellevue, Wash., wanted to get out of the state when applying to colleges as a high school senior. Now, however, he’s changed his mind. “I do love this state. It’s the right distance from home: short enough to drive home, but too far for my parents to pester me about coming home every weekend,” Bentson said. Bentson was not able to visit any classes in his short time on campus, nor did

he stay overnight in the dorms, though he did consider them an improvement over his current housing. He did, however, take a campus tour and sit for an interview with an admissions officer. The deadline for high school seniors to interview with admissions officers has already passed in January, but that is not the case for prospective students like Bentson. He and other transfer applicants must make any visits to the campus and complete the application process by March 1, 2010. According to Dyerly, getting prospective students to visit the campus is the hardest part of attracting students, especially those who live outside driving distance. The admissions office even provides scholarships to prospective students who cannot afford to visit the campus otherwise. “It’s a lot easier to convince people this is a wonderful place once they’re on campus,” Dyerly said. The visiting program for prospective students is an important part of attracting and admitting future students, who may now be walking around campus with their map-backed folders and asking for directions.

Ultimate frisbee team doesn’t fly by NATE LESSLER Staff Reporter

Whitman’s men’s and women’s club Ultimate Frisbee teams traveled to Stevinson, Calif. last weekend to compete in the Stanford Open. But this trip only happened after lengthy negotiations that prompted intervention from ASWC’s finance chair. “It was a long negotiation process,” said senior Elle Burstein, co-captain of the women’s club Ultimate team. “The club sports department originally decided that our trip to Stanford wasn’t in the best interest of the department, because of budgetary and safety concerns.” The Ultimate teams’ travel plans, as well as those of all Whitman club sports teams, must be approved by the Club Sports Committee in order to receive funding, according to Assistant Athletic Director Skip Molitor. When considering club teams’ travel plans, the committee

must take safety, cost, supervision and missed class time into account. Although the committee denied the initial request on account of budget and safety concerns, they proposed that the Ultimate team’s budget could allow either the men’s or women’s team to attend the tournament, under the condition that they would travel in a Whitmanowned, 15-passenger mini-bus. This decision was met with frustration on the part of the Ultimate team because they were put in the difficult position of having to choose between two qualified teams. Members of the Ultimate teams were also confused by the committee’s deci-

sion because they believed that traveling by bus presented more of a potential safety risk than flying. Confusion also arose because the teams’ budget included sufficient funds to cover both teams’ travel to the tournament. When sophomore ASWC Finance Chair Matt Dittrich caught wind of the situation, he issued a memorandum stating ASWC’s support of the men’s and women’s Ultimate teams being able to compete at Stanford. ASWC provides approximately one third of the funding for club sports. “There have existed vague guidelines, standards and appeal processes pertaining to the prospect of Whitman College Ultimate Frisbee traveling to the Stanford Open,” the memorandum states. “The tardiness regarding the eventual notification of denial was sufficient to

yield additional costs and a lack of alternative options; therefore it is the opinion of the Finance Chair . . . [that] Ultimate Frisbee’s request to send both teams, male and female, to the Stanford Open . . . should be considered by the Whitman Club Sports Committee.”

Not long after Dittrich issued the memorandum, the Club Sports Committee announced that they would allow both the men and women’s teams to travel on a charter bus to Stevinson in order to attend the Stanford Open. “We felt this means of travel was the most reasonable in regards to . . . safety, cost, supervision and missed class time,” said Molitor. According to a source who requested anonymity due to a working relationship with Molitor, transporting the teams to California via charter bus was just as costly as a flight. This fact, as well as a total of 30 hours spent traveling on the road, left members of the ultimate teams questioning whether or not a charter bus was the most logical choice in regards to safety and cost. Both teams, happy as they were to go, expressed frustration. Burstein acknowledged that club sports continues to progress. “Club sports is still developing,” she said. “Every year that I have been here there have been new developments within the programs.”

E. JOHNSON

CLIMATE: Questions encouraged  page 1 climate justice,” he said. First-year Lisa Beneman concurred. “[Schlosberg] brought up interesting points about the current leading ideas about environmental justice and

how they should be changed to better fit society,” she said. With more lectures and speakers to come, Brick’s efforts to ignite awareness are continuing. “We need to think about ways climate change will affect communities across the globe in different ways, rais-

ing critical issues of justice,” he said. Brick and Schlosberg assert that climate change is no longer debatable; only the future solution to it is. As a generation that will be faced with the consequences of climate change, Brick encourages students “to attend the lectures and ask questions!”


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AID: Videos to go on YouTube  page 1 individual budgets on Saturday, Feb. 23, which restored all funding to the Need Grant, Washington Scholars and WAVE Programs. However, both budgets proposed to reduce funding for the State Work Study program by 30 percent, translating to an estimated $70,000 loss for Whitman students. After spreading word about the video project through the student listserv and word of mouth, Pringle was able to conduct two-minute interviews with 11 students in Olin Hall. Sisters junior McKenna and sophomore Rhya Milici, who both receive funding to attend Whitman from the Washington Scholars program, lent their voices to the project during a joint interview. “Obviously, the idea that the state is cutting our program now will have a huge impact on my family since there are two of us trying to go here,” said McKenna Milici. “I’m not quite sure if our video will be seen by legislators, but we hoped that, by seeing two sisters voicing their pleas that student funding be restored . . . to stress not only how this is affecting students, but to provide a tangible image for how this is affecting families.” The Independent Colleges of Washington was pleased by the quality of Pringle’s videos and is in the process of incorporating them into the larger project. “Whitman has really embraced the video project, with over 10 students interviewed by Kate Pringle,” said Chadd Bennett, ICW director of research and publications. “The videos are in the process of being cut and edited now, and we should have these particular videos up later this week.”

Bennett plans to feature the video series on YouTube and on the IWC’s Facebook and Web pages. “Long term, we may use this tactic [of interviewing students] to increase the visibility of our other collateral such as our ProjectOpportunity.net college planning tool,” said Greg Scheiderer, vice president of the Independent Colleges of Washington. “The video project is an effort to put real people and their stories into the discussion about student aid so that the aid programs aren’t just treated as cold numbers on a spreadsheet.” Though happy to have participated in the project, McKenna Milici is skeptical about the extent to which her interview will impact legislators’ decisions.

I recognize that everyone out there is saying ‘Don’t cut the programs I care about, but don’t raise taxes either.’ - McKenna Milici, ‘11

“The trouble with this debate that’s going on in government, is that it’s not an ideological debate,” she explained. “We’re not doing these interviews or sending letters in the hopes of changing min––ds.” McKenna Milici wrote a letter to state legislators expressing her concerns about the budgets cuts. She received a response explaining that the Governor’s decision to cut fundraising was motivated by necessity, not principle. “I sent a letter to my local representatives, and one responded saying es-

sentially that if they had all the money in the world, they would of course support us,” she said. “I don’t think there are many Democrats or Republicans who wouldn’t. But the money simply isn’t there. So as much as I hope my video interview and letter have an effect on this issue, I recognize that everyone out there is saying ‘Don’t cut the programs I care about, but don’t raise taxes either.’” Pringle is more optimistic about the influence students can exact on the legislative process and stressed the importance of student advocacy in convincing donors to continue supporting financial aid. “The biggest problem in financial aid right now is that the people donating all of that money only feel motivated to as long as they know it’s something worthwhile,” said Pringle. “That’s why students are asked to write letters to donors, and why these interviews are so necessary.” While Pringle is impressed by the number of Whitman students who have dedicated their time and energy to her project, especially those that do not receive financial aid, she believes students can become more involved in advocating for each other’s educations. “It became a bit disappointing at times to know just how many students of our school that this budget cut does affect just didn’t really think they needed to come,” Pringle said about rates of participation in her video project. “I think that a lot of times Whitman students hear about an issue and think to themselves about how they can get involved, but don’t take the initiative until it’s either super convenient for them or when someone steps up and asks them directly.”

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PHOTOS BY BULLION Above: Joanna French ‘12 dances at the Salsa Night in Reid Ballroom, hosted by Network for Young Walla Walla last Saturday, Feb. 27. The event was an opportunity for Whitman students to get together with students from Walla WallaUniversity and Walla Walla Community College. Top Right: Lauren Hopson ‘12 volunteers at Kappa Kappa Gamma’s sixth annual Dr. Seuss Day last Sunday, Feb. 28. The event is one of Kappa’s largest philanthropy projects, and is aimed at encouraging children’s literacy.

“Media as Watchdog: Exposing Corporate Scandal” 2009-2010 Hosokawa Journalism Lecture A lecture by Bethany McLean, author and contributing editor, Vanity Fair magazine Thursday, March 4, 2010, 7 p.m. Maxey

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Strong volunteer effort, collaboration with Bon AppĂŠtit strengthen ISFC Banquet

by CAITLIN HARDEE

Staff Reporter

On Saturday, Feb. 27, Jewett Dining Hall was packed with students and community members, its 210 seats filled with enthusiastic feasters. The latest incarnation of the International Students and Friends Club (ISFC) International Banquet was a resounding success, with sold-out tickets and a multitude of student performers. The strength of the event this year rested largely on a substantial amount of volunteer support from students. ISFC Co-President and sophomore Alegria Olmedo spoke the day before the banquet over the power of volunteer involvement. “The new members of the ISFC this year have been really involved,� said Olmedo. “It has been really helpful to have, especially the freshman class of the ISFC, helping us a lot. [First-year students] were the head of the performance committee and head of the decorations committee. They are helping us with finding performances, involving themselves in the performances and helping us with the decorations and advertising.� The banquet required extensive preparation from all involved. Olmedo detailed the process of coordinating the various aspects of the event. “We started preparing last semester, and around the end, started asking international students who were going home to get recipes from home so we could start preparing the menu,� Olmedo said. “We work with Susan Todhunter, and she helps us with all the cooking. We have to talk to people, who

wants to perform, make sure that they have a group, and that they have costumes and are practicing and they’ll have it on time.� The event’s four main planning areas— food, performances, decorations and advertising—are overseen by four respective committees. “We have three to five people on every committee, and several other volunteers,� said ISFC Co-President and sophomore Roshan Adhikari. “Right now for the event we have more than 30 people who are ready to help us.� The strong volunteer turnout manifested not only in the planning teams but also in the abundance of performers for the banquet. “We have 12 [performance acts] right now,� said Olmedo. “In the past years, I think there’s been at the most seven. Most of them are dances. There are two Vietnamese dances, a Bollywood dance, an African dance, an Indian dance, an Irish Riverdance, a tango—then we have two songs and a fashion show, people with their national traditional outfits.� The feast included food from Colombia, India, Kenya, Japan, Australia and many other nations. Prentiss Dining Hall Manager Susan Todhunter worked in close cooperation with the students to bring this multitude of culinary ideas into reality. “We try and pick good dishes that are within a reasonable range of what they can afford, because they use the money to do a trip on their spring break,� said Todhunter. “And they do most of the cooking. We’re there more to show them how to use the equipment to their advantage so it doesn’t

Some students opt to cook for themselves by AMI TIAN Staff Reporter

Because Whitman generally requires underclassmen to live on campus and take meals through one of Bon AppĂŠtit’s meal plans, many students have opted to cook their own meals using raw or otherwise unprepared ingredients taken from Jewett and Prentiss Dining Halls. Susan Todhunter, Prentiss Dining Hall manager, clarified that this is actually allowed, depending on the quantities of food taken, citing the official Bon AppĂŠtit policy on taking food out from the dining halls. “Students are allowed to take food out if it’s the amount of what they’d consume for that meal,â€? she said. Sophomore Jessi Whalen regularly takes vegetables from the salad bar to make stirfries. She said that she is sometimes dissatisfied with the types of food served in the dining halls, and echoed the criticism common among those who choose to cook for themselves: that dining hall food is unhealthy. “A lot of the stuff is too greasy for me, or I don’t like the vegetarian options,â€? said Whalen. “Also I don’t think they use enough vegetables [in their entrees].â€? Students’ aversion to dining hall food is not necessarily due to an issue with food quality, but rather the knowledge of how the food is made and which ingredients are used. Some students are just not as comfortable eating food that they have not prepared themselves. “I really do not like eating stuff when I don’t know what’s in it,â€? said sophomore Lesli Meekins. “So even with dining hall pizza, I look at it and go, ‘Okay, I don’t know what’s in this. Is it like, boiled in butter or whatever?’â€? Cooking one’s own food, then, is not so much a rebellion against dining hall food as it is a sure way of knowing and controlling what one eats. “I like cooking because I can know what’s in my food,â€? Meekins said. “The dining hall gets frustrating sometimes because I don’t know anything about the food.â€? Students who cook for themselves often get creative with what they make using the dining hall ingredients. Meekins uses her bread machine to make pizza dough, topping her pizzas with raw ingredients and occasionally sauce taken from the dining hall. “I just use my bread machine and put in some flour that my mom sent me, and then steal all the vegetables and sometimes chicken from the salad bar,â€? Meekins said. “And then if I can manage it, I steal some sauce from the spaghetti line.â€? Sophomore Katie Lei recalled making cookies from an unlikely combination of salad bar ingredients: tofu, yogurt, cereal and carrots. The recipe was born in a moment of necessity—she’d run out of eggs. “I’d heard that you can use tofu as an egg substitute, and so I got tofu from the salad bar, and I was like, ‘What else could you put in cookies?’ And so I ended up using all of

BOWMAN Students perform at the ISFC Banquet last Saturday, Feb. 27, in Jewett Dining Hall. The event relies heavily upon volunteer efforts such as these.

take as long. It’s a lot of fun actually—we crank up the tunes. Sometimes we have 25 or 30 kids in [the kitchen] at once.� Volunteer sophomore Pam Donohue agreed. “I went for four hours yesterday and worked chopping stuff in the kitchen, and I did like two hours today. It was really chill,� she said. Donohue was in attendance at the banquet and offered an enthusiastic appraisal

BOOK REVIEW

‘Dangerous Laughter’ subtly, gracefully blurs the line between dream and reality Millhauser creates scenarios in which Book Reviewer the impossible is accomplished but to “Dangerous Laughter� somehow houses moderate satisfaction and a desire only both the large and small, the loss and the to push on further or move onto the discovery within a world just different next thing. enough from our own to highlight the The final section, "Heretical Histoinherence of these extremes. Praised as ries," focuses on those strange accom“not just brilliant but prescient� by The plishments that are sadly overlooked. New York Times Book Review, “Dan- Things continue to vanish in this secgerous Laughter� is Steven Millhauser’s tion: Retro-developing fashion com11th work of fiction and contains 13 pletely covers women until they have stories that manipulate what we know no need to even inhabit the clothes at about history as well as how we perceive all; Harlan Crane, one of Millhauser’s the modern world around us. Millhauser most eccentric and compelling characdoes not shy from the fantastic, or what ters (which is saying something) creates would seem imposappearing and dissible and unreal, but appearing realities instead lets it resonate, on canvas before as plausible and necesdisappearing himsary as breathing. self. The underlying Following the openimportance of sening story “Cat ‘N’ sation that pervades Mouse,� Millhauser’s stories throughout collection is divided the entire collection into three sections, emerges most cleareach with four stories ly in the final story, thematically inter“The Wizard of West twined and laced with Orange.� Despite not only recurring but the weakest beginalso poignant imagery. ning of any story in The first set of stories the collection, Millfits snugly under the hauser still carries “Dangerous Laughter� by Steven category, "Vanishing off the journal entry Millhauser, Vintage 2008, 244 pages Acts." These narrators style narrative with lock their accounts a deserved final reimmobile around a specific stranger—a flection on the fleeting nature of what female—who appears out of obscurity we think is around us and the infinite only to fade back into it. People disap- possibilities of what actually is. pear or never appear or change themThe fact is, I really liked “Dangerselves to become unrecognizable by ous Laughter.� I wish I could give less those that knew them best. What is a of my own hard-to-pin-down analysis girl to do when she finds attention and and more concrete facts, but these are acceptance in her ability to fully suc- short stories—every detail matters and cumb to her bottomless laughter, but contributes to the world, to the surprise. all of a sudden crying is the thing to do? These stories are strange and Millhauser The stories of "Vanishing Acts" serve to revels in the extraordinary, much to my remind us of the consequences of falling appreciation. There is at least one story into a routine without thinking about in this collection that will surprise you what could be or, much like Henry in some way, and that, in itself, is excitJames’ Spencer Brydon, what could ing. The beauty of short stories (one of have been. Characters in these stories many) is that you do not have to read the often appear sick, as if they are com- entire book at once—take a break from ing down with something; their senses work or whatever and enjoy 15 pages or jumbled, they are forced to sift through so of something endearingly strange. and combine what they know and what At one point, Wolf, a character in “The they seem to witness occurring between Room in the Attic,� says, “Books weren’t the familiar and the impossible. made of themes, which you could write The second section, "Impossible Ar- essays about, but of images that inserted chitectures," focuses on physical cre- themselves into your brain.� ations: structures that push limits and Millhauser is a literary writer, fact; test boundaries of the minute, the di- but this image idea is true for “Dangervine and the necessary. In “In the Reign ous Laughter,� in which Millhauser creof Harad IV� a master of miniature ates a space filled with often-overlooked carving wonders how small he can go people feeling real things in an excitingly and “The Tower� imagines a complete unreal world that will, hopefully, insert Tower of Babel extending into Heaven. itself permanently into your brain. by CHRISTINE TEXEIRA

CORNELIUS Many students use plastic containers to carry out ingredients for later use, espe! cially from the salad bar.

the normal chocolate cookie ingredients except eggs, and then tofu, vanilla yogurt, grape nuts and carrots—the shredded salad bar carrots—and they turned out pretty well,â€? Lei said. Lei, however, felt that dining hall food was not lacking in any way, and lauded Bon AppĂŠtit’s attempts to meet the numerous demands of the student body. “I think that they [Bon AppĂŠtit] really try to give us options; it’s kind of hard when you’re trying to cater to the needs of so many people at once while having people demand that you be sustainable and not wasteful but then also that you offer a bunch of choices. I think they do a pretty good job of balancing [those demands],â€? she said. At the same time, Lei also expressed that students should be given more flexibility in choosing whether to eat at the dining halls or to cook for themselves. “It would also be nice if there was some way to incorporate getting raw ingredients into the meal plan so people could cook for themselves,â€? she said. “Especially for interest houses, because that would be cool. Like, instead of ordering whatever they have for one day, you could just ask for a bunch of vegetables.â€? Residents of the Interest House Community (typically sophomores) are still required to be on a meal plan, but instead of visiting the dining hall for dinner they order food for each night of the week and Bon AppĂŠtit delivers it to them. But for Lei, it was not the dining hall food itself, but rather the mandatory nature of the meal plan that inspired her to put dining hall ingredients to a creative use. The rigidity and costliness of the meal plan also makes students feel justified in taking food out of the dining halls. “I mean the fact that I paid eight dollars to swipe into a meal and maybe had a piece of toast and a bowl of cereal—I don’t feel bad taking more food out. I think a lot of people would agree on that. When you know that the meal plan is so expensive and that all of the food is there—I don’t know, I feel like it evens out,â€? said Lei.

of the evening. “It went really well for the most part. Of course there were some little interruptions where they couldn’t find a performer or something, but for the most part it went really smoothly,� she said. “They ended the show with the gumboot dance—it’s a South African dance where you wear rain boots, and it’s all like clapping and hitting the boots. I think that was a great choice to end with.�

Fortunately, all volunteers and performers were also able to partake in the feast after the event had ended. Donohue was delighted with the delicious fare. “There was a Japanese dish that was beef and potatoes and these noodles, and it was kind of a stew, and that was really good. And they had a really good meringue from Australia, with kiwi and strawberry and whipped cream. I personally loved all of the food,� she said.

PIO PICKS Each week, The Pioneer highlights a few events happening on campus or in Walla Walla during the weekend. Here are this week’s picks: Around the World in 80 Days Professor of Theater Nancy Simon directs this theatrical adaptation of Jules Verne’s beloved adventure story. Harper Joy Theatre. Thursday Saturday at 8 p.m.; Sunday at 2 p.m. A Memory, a Monologue, a Rant and a Prayer FACE’s alternative production to the Vagina Monologues will show in Kimball Theater, Friday & Saturday at 7 p.m. and Sunday at 1 p.m. $5. Hosokawa Lecture: “Media as Watchdog with Bethany McLean McLean, who works as a contributing editor for Vanity Fair magazine, and helped to break the Enron scandal, will speak in Maxey Auditorium, Thursday, March 4 at 7 p.m. Free.

KWCW SHOW OF T HE W EEK contributed by KWCW Anthony Marks has been hosting Sunday Morning Classics on KWCW since 2007, but has over 30 years of experience in college radio, hosting a similar show on Eastern Oregon University’s station beginning in 1976. The self-described teacher, mentor and entertainer, who still occasionally substitute teaches in Milton-Freewater, seeks to make classical music more approachable for the community at large. “[KWCW] is the voice of Whitman College to the community, and I try to be that,� Marks says. Classics that may be heard Sunday mornings: ti1BDIFMCFM $BOPO % .BKPSw CZ 'FTUJval Strings Lucerne ti3PTTJOJ -BSHP BM GBDUPUVNw CZ #PUtom Line Duo ti8JMTPO ćF 6OTJOLBCMF .PMMZ Brown� by the MGM Studio Orchestra ti- .P[BSU 4JOGPOJB 1BTUPSFMMB GPS Alphorn & Strings� by Capella Istropolitana w/Jozsef Molnar Wake up to Sunday Morning Classic every Sunday from 10 a.m. - noon only on KWCW 90.5 FM or stream online at kwcw.net.


A&E

March 4, 2010

MUSIC REVIEW

2010 Oscar Predictions by BECQUER MEDAKSEGUIN Movie Reviewer

COURTESY FOURTET.NET

Laptop artist Four Tet rocks Portland’s Doug Fir lounge with ‘folktronica’ by ANDREW HALL Music Reviewer

Describing Four Tet's performance at Portland's Doug Fir Lounge last Thursday night is difficult for a number of reasons. Four Tet—the name under which Kieran Hebden has made music since the late '90s— has produced a number of records of what has been dubbed "folktronica," on which he focuses on the sound of acoustic instruments, samples made -to come across slightly out of time tyet utterly in sync and digital signal sprocessed effects to create something rather unique and far more emotive fthan it ought to be. However, his most srecent album, There Is Love In You— .his first in five years—sees him flirt mwith recent trends in British dance dmusic to great effect, putting things elike four-four thumps and even wobbling bass into his compositions without once pandering. Live, Hebden performs alone, and it's difficult to tell what exactly he's doing at any given point in time, as his live setup consisted of what appeared to be two computers, either an iPhone or an iPod Touch and several pieces of equipment covered in knobs and dials somehow interfacing with the computers. There are no microphones in his stage setup, and thus no conversation between artist and audience beyond Hebden's facial expressions (excitement, head-nodding, a fair amount of smiles) and the music itself, which left a seemingly-devoted capacity crowd more than pleased over the course of almost two hours. I could be wrong, given that I couldn't see his screens, but I don't think Hebden is someone who simply stands at his laptop and plays Solitaire whilst dancing to his own music. His set saw him present remixed versions of material across his five Four Tet albums, and it was a barrage of texture more than it was a series of songs. There were familiar moments—I recognized the beginnings of "Angel Echoes," the melodic hook from "Sing" and "Love Cry," all from the new album—but they were interspersed and played with excerpts from all over his catalog, pleasing his obsessive fans and a surprisingly mobile Portland crowd alike. Hebden clearly wasn't trying to please either, though; not once did he acknowledge the man who repeatedly shouted to hear "Moth" from his collaboration with fellow Londoner Burial, nor did he let a melodic hook persist for more than a few seconds. Often the most propulsive songs moved on to another idea even when doing so cost him the crowd's energy. Opener Nathan Fake's set was a far more typical guy-with-laptop experience, though my being unfamiliar with his music may affect my ability to judge it. He appeared to simply stand behind his computer, occasionally moving a knob that transposed parts of his songs. While they sounded good—he got one person shouting his name and even fist-pumping— there was little to do but stand there and think "This sounds good." He could have been doing far more than I could see, but I honestly have no idea. Finally, had the sound been bad in the venue the entire event would have been a near-total failure. Performances that eliminate all physical instrumentation beyond machinery and ways to manipulate it require a quality sound system, and the Doug Fir's delivered perfectly, as it was capable of conveying all of the frequencies coming from Hebden's equipment without being unbearably loud. As a consequence, despite moments I can't remember at all, I most often simply found myself slightly lost and inexplicably awestruck.

It's Oscar time again! (My Daniel Radcliffe-style smile can't even cover up how unexcited I am.) While I wholeheartedly disagree with the Academy nearly 100 percent of the time and believe the Oscars are nothing but a laughable, luxurious series of cameos by washed-up actors whose best work was done maybe 20 years ago, below I'll try to walk in the Academy voters' shoes—and cut my IQ and taste by about half—and predict Sunday night's Oscar winners in the major categories. (I haven't seen any short films this year and don't really care for sound mixing; sorry, folks.) tBest Foreign Language Film: "The White Ribbon" tBest Animated Feature: "Up" tBest Documentary Feature: "Burma VJ" tBest Original Screenplay: "Inglourious Basterds"

tBest Adapted Screenplay: "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" tBest Supporting Actor: Cristoph Waltz ("Inglourious Basterds") tBest Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique ("Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire") tBest Actor: Jeff Bridges ("Crazy Heart") tBest Actress: Sandra Bullock (“The Blind Side”) tBest Director: Kathryn Bigelow ("The Hurt Locker") tBest Picture: "Avatar" I must admit that I liked a surprising amount of films this year that got Oscar nods, including "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire," "The Hurt Locker" and "In the Loop." Now, whether they win any is another story. In a future column, I'll unveil the films, actors and actresses that, in an ideal world, would have been nominated by the Academy.

RESTAUR AN T REVIEW

Minor problems don’t impair Saffron’s array of solid, if untraditional Mediterranean options by BECQUER MEDAKSEGUIN Restaurant Reviewer

Saffron Mediterranean Kitchen !!"" Mediterranean cuisine, an ambiguous brand of cooking that spreads from Spain's Costa Brava to the coast of Crete, caught on in the United States circa 1975, when dietary enthusiasts discovered the so-called Mediterranean diet. Though the used-andabused stereotype is touted today for its supposed healthy ingredients (there is little proof that this "diet" is any healthier than any other "diet"), Saffron Mediterranean Kitchen—Walla Walla's premier dining establishment that evokes this style of cooking—has a less deceptive approach when presenting its gastronomical partiality. Saffron changed ownership in 2007, and to the credit of Chris and Island Ainsworth, the establishment's head chef and coproprietors, the restaurant has discovered its culinary identity: one that emphasizes citrus- and seafood-accentuated flavors while attempting to faithfully represent some of the most traditional and culturally emblematic dishes of the Sea's countries. These iconic dishes include appetizers such as Syrian lamb tartar ($9), Levantine kibbeh ($11) and Spanish patatas bravas ($8); as well as entrées such as Turkish gözleme ($14), Italian pisarei ($21) and Spanish paella ($30)—their self-proclaimed nonpareil dish. With many of the ingredients for these particular dishes imported from the coast, it is difficult for the chefs to preserve fidelity to at least several of the dishes on Saffron's menu. This unfortunate reality of living inland shows in several of Saffron's more ambitious dishes, yet the overall quality that greeted my friend and I when we arrived at 125 West Alder St. slightly exceeded our expectations. The first dish, Spanish patatas bravas— composed of fingerling potatoes, garlic aioli, spicy tomato sauce and chili peppers—was a complete misfire and was highlighted by a slightly inconsistent, hesitantly spicy tomato sauce that couched the pile of potatoes. The potatoes themselves were undercooked and boasted a tough outer skin that was barely glazed with the aioli, leaving my underwhelmed palate yearning for more creamy sauces to outweigh the faux marinara sauce in which the potatoes were bathed. The Spanish equivalent, primarily served as a "tapa," uses peeled potatoes cooked to their utmost tenderness drenched in a spicy aioli sauce with few compliments.

The next dish—pheasant with a chick pea risotto, roasted parsnips and gremolata—was a marked improvement over the appetizer. It was recommended by our server and, for the most part, lived up to our expectations. The gremolata—an herb base made of garlic, parsley and lemon zest—marinated the exceptionally tender pheasant almost to a fault and the lemon would have been a little overpowering had the dish lacked the ingenious compliment of roasted parsnips. Our second entrée caught me off guard as much for its ingenuity as for its nontraditional development. Ultimately, the dish worked well and each ingredient played its role, though at times these did not interact with one another as one would expect. One of my favorite dishes because of my own heritage, Spanish paella is a complex dish to realize: It marries rice with a variety of seafood unparalleled by most Mediterranean dishes. Saffron's brand of paella is unique. The recipe—which combines housemade chorizo, natural free range chicken, prawns, clams, pequillo peppers, saffron rice, cilantro and green peppers—is very different from most Spanish recipes in that the prawns, clams and chicken are not cooked in with the rice, but merely scattered on its surface. This led to these ingredients feeling out of place taste-wise with the rest of the dish. After delving into the chorizo infused rice, however, this separation of flavors may have been warranted: The chorizo would have likely, at least, muddled the delicate seafood flavors. Critiques aside, my date and I enjoyed our visit to Saffron. The menu is focused and delivers, albeit sometimes untraditionally, many of the wonderful flavors that make up that amorphous genre of cuisine many call Mediterranean. Those with a palate that rejoices when it comes in contact with Middle Eastern spices or Italian pastas will be as satisfied as their counterparts who enjoy the bold flavors of the Spanish Basque Country and the Greek archipelago. While Saffron certainly has its share of gastronomic mishaps, that should not deter you from visiting one of Walla Walla's finest restaurants. t t t Saffron Mediterranean Kitchen 125 West Alder St. Phone: 509.525.2112 saffronmediterraneankitchen.com Reservations are welcome

COMIC

ALDEN

5

MUSIC REVIEW

‘Almost Alice’ offers delightful mélange of electropop, rock

Lavigne’s vocals retain their characteristic sound on the verses, with breathy low On Tuesday, March 2, the release of Al- notes and bell-clear high notes, but spiral most Alice, the ground-breaking com- into pitchy monotone on the choruses, panion album to Tim Burton’s new movie and the entire track dwells firmly in the “Alice in Wonderland,” showed the world realm of formulaic pop. “Alice” is the only yet another aspect of his artistic vision. song to actually appear in the film, and Almost Alice is rare among film albums in plays during the end credits. that it is not a soundtrack—Tim Burton’s With “The Poison” from The All longtime musiAmerican Rejects, cal partner Danny we have the exact Elfman scored the opposite of a profilm, but for the saically structured companion album, pop anthem. The Burton chose to track, for the most seek out and compart, is low-key and mission a wide contemplative, a range of the music love song hidden in industry’s strongest the underpainting young artists for a of a fluid mental collection of songs landscape. Howinspired by the ever, the structure “Almost Alice,” various artists, 2010 movie. is jarringly broken Possibly the with a shocking strongest track on the album, Owl City’s transition to Muse-esque theatrics and “The Technicolor Phase,” was not writ- convulsively acidic lyrics before returning ten for Almost Alice, but appeared on Owl to slow and melancholy. City’s 2009 album, Maybe I’m Dreaming. “Painting Flowers” from All Time Low Adam Young’s signature bubbling vocals is again solidly within predictable pop are laced with autotune effects, but man- boundaries, but with much more success age to utilize them effectively. It is rare that than “Alice.” “Painting Flowers” is a delia song creates such a visual experience— cious anthem of love and longing, so sugYoung’s vivid, color-based imagery, sweet, ary sweet it aches; Alex Gaskarth’s voice is addictive voice and synths absolutely the stuff car singalongs are made of. transport the listener. His backup vocals Also remarkable is “Welcome to Mysmurmuring “my darling” in the final cho- tery” from Plain White T’s. The song ruses are pure beauty. opens with an obvious waltz structure, Another standout track is “Strange,” a which is eventually subsumed under collaboration between Tokio Hotel and the synth and head-nodding beat of the Estonian pop singer Kerli, which follows chorus, but remains in the underbelly of the theme of male-female vocals found on the entire track. This odd rhythm for an several other tracks throughout Almost rock song ends up lending itself superbly Alice. The song, crafted by Tokio Hotel, to visual interpretation; one can very easSwedish producer Andreas Carlsson and ily imagine ornately clad masqueraders American hitmaker Desmond Child, whirling around a ballroom à la David opens with eerie electronic effects laid Bowie’s “As The World Falls Down” in the over softly warbling guitars, a near-perfect film “Labyrinth.” twin to the opening of “Shine” off Tokio The album also features songs from Hotel’s latest album, Humanoid. As usual, Shinedown, Metro Station, 3OH!3, Robthe soft qualities of Bill Kaulitz’s voice are ert Smith, Mark Hoppus and Pete Wentz, remarkable. As the song transitions to- Kerli, Franz Ferdinand, Motion City wards the first chorus, Kerli takes over the Soundtrack, Wolfmother and Grace Potethereal vocals and Kaulitz abruptly drops ter and the Nocturnals. Kerli’s “Tea Party” from singing high and sweet to a lower and 3OH!3’s “Follow Me Down” will be register, striking gorgeous harmonies. released as the second and third singles. The album’s first single, Avril Lavi- “Tea Party” and “Alice” will also be regne’s “Alice,” is somewhat less impressive. leased in music video format. by CAITLIN HARDEE Staff Reporter

CROSSWORD PUZZLE 1

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by KARL WALLULIS

39

54. Matt’s “South Park” partner

Puzzlemaster

ACROSS 1. “__ Past Dead” (2002 Steven Seagal film) 2. Frosh, one year later 9. Sound of air escaping 12. Golden cow, e.g. 13. Faithful 14. Square’s opposite 15. African nation between Ghana and Benin 16. Pound of poetry 17. Consumed 18. 18-Across, e.g. 21. “Siddhartha” author 22. Soup alternative 23. Singer and enfant terrible Lambert 27. Yea or Nay, 28. 28-Across, e.g. 33. Jacob’s twin 34. Dionysius’s quaff 35. Calvin’s spaceman alter-ego 37. Hollywood’s elite 42. This puzzle’s theme 46. Puerto Rico’s country code 47. Polish prose 48. One of Freud’s stages of psychosexual development 49. “Atonement” author McKewan 50. Con-__ foods 51. Close a deal 52. Star Trek series (abbr.) 53. It runs from bow to stern

DOWN 1. Will Smith title role 2. Really go for 3. Corporate symbols 4. Item in a medicine cabinet 5. Seethe 6. Rice-shaped pasta 7. Contented cat communication 8. They were cut off during the French Revolution 9. Superficial 10. Find on a map 11. Certain ticket recipient 19. Char, as a steak 20. Shaq’s team 24. Crow relative 25. Rumble in the Jungle victor 26. 23-Across, prototypically 28. Site of much festering 29. Wait, en español 30. Doing, or doing well 31. Like some he-men 32. Within range 36. Like some coincidences 38. Most insignificant 39. Secret 40. Ascend 41. Boob tube, across the pond 43. Outer limits 44. One of the Aristotelian elements 45. Bibliography abbreviation

To see answers to last week’s puzzle, see whitmanpioneer.com


FEATURE

6

Students

who ser ve

March 4, 2010M

The Call of Duty This week in Feature, we examine the controversy behind military recruiting in colleges and speak with one Whitman student who has chosen a career in the Marines. For those interested in a different type of government service, we look at global and national options, as seniors find the right fit and face the anxiety of finding work in a tough economy.

SONG

Military presence contested on campus Staff Reporter

Across the street from the College Place Walmart there are four separate recruitment offices for the United States Armed Forces. Though the Army, Navy, Marine Corps

and Air Force each recruit in this area, they don’t see much interest from Whitman students. “When I came here, I said I’d probably never put anyone from Whitman in the Navy,” said Navy Recruiter-in-Charge Mathew Haney. Ironically, his first recruit ended up being a Whitman graduate, but his overall perception of Whitman students was correct: Few go into the military. Economic reasons could be behind this lack of interest. According to Not Your Soldier—an advocacy group working to end recruitment practices targeted at lowincome students—71 percent of black recruits, 65 percent of Latino recruits and 58 percent of white recruits come from below median-income households. While Whit-

man offers financial aid to its students, the majority don’t come from low-income backgrounds. Haney believes the lack of interested

wouldn’t be a positive experience.” She too attributes Whitman’s lack of interest in military service to the liberal beliefs held by most of the student body. In spite of the relative lack

of recruiter presence at Whitman, ASWC adopted a resoSONG lution in 2005 stating that they were opposed Whitman students has more to do with to recruitment on campus. The opposition students’ political leanings. was based on the military’s “Don’t Ask, “Whitman has always been known as a Don’t Tell” policy, which prohibits openly predominantly liberal college,” he said. gay and lesbian people from serving. This In addition, he said many students at- policy was passed in 1993 during the Clintending four-year colleges already have ton Administration in an attempt to procareer plans. Although interest is higher at vide a compromise between a 1982 ban Walla Walla University, Haney said this is on gays and lesbians in the military and because many students there are planning demands from civil rights groups to allow to go to medical school, and the Navy will anyone to serve. pay for these classes in exchange for six ASWC’s resolution also protested years of service. against the Solomon Amendment, a 1995 The Student Engagement Center allows law which states that any school not allowthe military to post job opportunities for ing recruiters access to campus must forfeit students. However, Director Susan Buch- federal funding. Although the Solomon anan says she tries to dissuade recruiters Amendment was challenged by many law from attending career fairs. schools in 2002, a Supreme Court ruling “I don’t disallow them,” she said. “I’ve upheld the law in 2006. just explained to them that it probably Whitman alumnus Sam Tate ‘09, who

recently completed Officer Candidate School, believes that the ASWC resolution is unfair to the military. “If you choose not to join the military because of a policy like ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ you can make that choice,” he said. “I think it’s a [resolution] that kind of insults the student.” Tate personally believes that “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” should be repealed, but he says that it doesn’t effect his overall opinion of the military. First-year Kathryn Collins agreed that the ASWC resolution was unnecessary. She came to Whitman from a high school where many students entered the armed forces after graduating. “We should respect other people’s decisions about whether or not the military is correct for them,” she said. “The military is a good, viable education option for people.”

However, some Whitman students are very opposed to recruitment on campus. A recent e-mail sent out by the Student Engagement Center listing a Navy job prompted junior Lissa Erickson to ask the Center to stop advertising for the military. She cited the military’s “unethical practices at home and across the globe” and the No Child Left Behind Act’s requirement that schools release student contact information to the military as reasons for her objection. In spite of the debate surrounding the military’s level of involvement at Whitman, the bottom line is that most students are not interested in joining. “We’re not going out [to Whitman] and trying to find lots of people,” said Haney. Whether or not “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is repealed, that fact is unlikely to change.

Whitman Alumni Military Participation (1930- 2009) Military Recruits from Whitman (1930-2009) 80

Number of alumni in the military

by RACHEL ALEXANDER

60

40

20

0 1930s

1940s

1950s

1960s

1970s

1980s

1990s

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*Statistics from Whitman College Advancement Services Whitman alumni participation in the military reached its peak during the 1960s. All data comes from alumni who chose to report their military involvement to Whitman.

Whitman student begins career as officer in Marines

Military Recruitment at Whitman (1926- 2003)

Ryan Finnegan ‘10 in uniform during graduation from Officer Candidate School.

by HADLEY JOLLEY Staff Reporter

This past summer, senior Ryan Finnegan enrolled in a 10-week program at an Officer Candidate School

for the Marines in Quantico, Va. One day, he and the students took a very difficult hike during which one of the officers would periodically shout “grenade” to keep the future soldiers on their toes. The first time the officer called out, Finnegan crouched and the officer berated him, explaining that if there actually was a grenade, he should dive to the ground to protect himself. Later, when his group was not marching fast enough in another drill, the same officer yelled “grenade” to speed them up and Finnegan dove to the ground. He was the only one to do so—the other trainees just laughed. Finnegan still had a lot to learn, but he made it through training and is now ready to take the next step in his military career. Finishing up a stint student-teaching pupils who needed extra reading assistance, Finnegan decided that teaching—his career plan up until that point—was not for him. After making this decision, Finnegan wanted to find

Number of alumni in the military

15

something else to do, something that would still allow him to serve others. “I spent a semester looking at other service jobs,” he said. Finnegan looked at working for the state department, the National Park Service and other government jobs. He finally settled on joining the military— the only recent member of his family to do so—against what he perceived to be the feelings of many of his peers. “It wasn’t as bad as people said,” he said. “I really liked the program. I could be a regular student, spend a summer training and back out if I needed,” he said. But Finnegan did not decide to back out. He will be officially sworn into the military in June and will go on to the two other stages of training: basic and job school. Finnegan wants to go into intelligence, but personal preference is far down on the military’s list of priorities when assigning jobs— aptitude and military needs are more important. Finnegan said that the Officer Can-

didate School he attended was more of a screening process, to see if the candidates were worth more investment of 9 military’s time and money. the However, Finnegan is not sure that he 6 wants to be a career Marine. “I could get financial assistance, but

12

I chose not to, because it adds time to my contract. I want to keep my options open,” said Finnegan. Finnegan is planning to go to graduate school, although not immediately after graduating from Whitman. For now, he’s going to be a soldier.

3 0 1926

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PHOTOS CONTRIBUTED BY RYAN FINNEGAN Finnegan stands with his parents at his graduation from Officer Training School last summer. Finnegan plans to continue as an officer in the Marines after graduation.

Debate soldiers on: Military recruitment on U.S. campuses by BECKY NEVIN Staff Reporter

1992: Kenyon College, a small liberal

arts institution in Ohio, closes its doors to military recruiters in protest of the Pentagon’s policy barring homosexuals from the armed forces. Other colleges follow suit.

2002: Under the No Child Left Behind 1996: Congress passes the Solomon

Amendment, allowing the Secretary of Defense to deny federal grants, research grants and student aid to colleges and universities if they prevent ROTC or military recruitment on their campuses.

Act, the Department of Defense gains the right to withhold funds from institutions of higher education that prevent recruiters from obtaining access to students or their contact information.

2002: Boston College Law School, 1993: The Clinton Administration in-

troduces the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for military applicants. The directive allows homosexuals to serve in the armed forces if they are not openly gay, an attempt to soften Congress’ previous restrictions.

among many others, opens its doors to military recruiters when faced with forfeiting all research grants and federal aid.

2005: ASWC adopts a resolution

stating that it is opposed to recruitment on Whitman campus because of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.

2006: The Supreme Court reverses 2004: A federal appeals court rules

that the Solomon Amendment is unconstitutional. This ruling sets the precedent that colleges do have the right to ban military recruiters on the basis that they discriminate against homosexual students.

the 2004 decision, ruling that the government does have the right to withhold federal funds from schools that ban military recruitment on their campuses.


FEATURE

0March 4, 2010

7

As college ends, Seniors weigh service jobs students wonder, “What’s next?” Staff Reporter

As the second semester continues, seniors at Whitman find themselves asking, “What next?” When planning for life after college, there are many factors to consider. What do you want to do? What are you qualified to do? And how are you going to support yourself? These are a few of the questions running through the minds of the class of 2010. When asked about their plans for life after Whitman, many seniors seem to sigh and shake their heads.

Matheconomics major Karina Kidd met the question head-on. “I think there is an aura of emotional energy about senior year that continually heightens as the year goes on,” she said in an e-mail. “It’s all about the pressure to find a meaningful career right away, to find a way to support yourself and to come to terms with the fact that you will have to deal with all these major life changes without tolerant, loving, fun Whitties surrounding you.” Although there are seniors who do have their lives figured out, the planning process can be scary and extremely stressful. Moving from Whitman into the world beyond the “bubble” is a huge step. In undergraduate school, students are given a place to live, food to eat, people to spend time with and activities to participate in—everything is pre-planned. After college, that structure disappears, and the responsibility becomes your own as you trade meal plans for grocery lists and dining halls for tiny kitchens. The transition from Whitman to the real world starts at the planning process, which can be tough because of its unfamiliarity. Spenser Meeks, a chemistry-environmental studies major, understands the difficulties of this switch. “It’s hard to get your mind out of homework mode into planning ahead,”

said Meeks. BBMB major Kendra Vandree has a different perspective on the planning process. “I applied early to [Teach for America] and Peace Corps, and the [Resident Director] application only just became available so I’ve not been too overwhelmed with applications during the school year,” she said in an e-mail. “If none of those things work out, it would give me complete freedom to pursue some of my other more random interests for a while.” Now that the senior class is finishing with oral and written examinations, the focus

has begun to shift to SONG the question that still lingers: “What happens next?” In today’s society and especially today’s economy there is an emphasis on finding a job that is lucrative rather than simply enjoyable. However, sacrificing passion for paychecks is something Whitties seem reluctant to do. Meeks, an avid member of the drama club, understands this struggle between loving what you do and making a living. “I love theater, but science is the best way for me to make a change in the world,” he said. Meeks’ decision to pursue science over drama was motivated financially as well as by his desire to impact society. “I do want to have a job where I don’t have to worry about making the rent . . . money is a concern,” he said. Spenser expressed his concern over making money. He did not, however, seem to think that reconciling making money and being happy were completely incompatible. Both Kidd and Vandree echoed this faith. “I believe that if you find something you truly love to do and you are wildly passionate and determined about it, you can find people who will want to fund that or you will figure out how to make it work,” said Kidd.

FENNELL McKenna Milici ‘11 listens as Peace Corps recruiter Matthew Hogue describes volunteer options during lunch in Reid.

by REBECCA BRIGHT Feature Editor

Seniors interested in service after Whitman began the process of applying for programs months ago, yet for many, choosing between options is the most difficult step. Service programs like Peace Corps, AmeriCorps and Teach for America all strive to make a difference, but they vary in many key ways. This year’s seniors have found that each organization has its triumphs and pitfalls, and finding the right fit can be a challenge. For many, the philosophy of each organization is the major decisive factor. Senior William Maier was driven to apply for a position with Peace Corps by both the opportunity to serve abroad and its less strict organizational structure. “They emphasize serving a community’s needs rather than the needs of an overarching organization, and that’s something that I identify strongly with,” said Maier. “Instead of telling [communities] how to fix their problems, we should be asking them, ‘How do you want to fix your problems?’” Peace Corps regional recruiter Matthew Hogue agreed that the focus of Peace Corps is more flexible than many other programs. “Peace Corps has less structure, a greater opportunity for creativity, and in many teaching situations there is less emphasis on test scores and more on finding ways to reach students. There’s an opportunity

to really get to the heart of teaching, with more flexibility,” said Hogue. Along with the positive things she had heard about Peace Corps, its recruitment strategies were another contributing factor in Vandree’s decision. For Vandree, Peace Corps staff seemed more supportive during the application process. “In my experience I found Peace Corps to be much more accessible. In going through the application process with them, it cemented my decision that if given the choice, I wanted to do Peace Corps more,” said Vandree. For senior Matthew Beckett, however, Teach for America's recruitment strategies led to a personal relationship with Teach for America Recruitment Director Nathan Fitzpatrick, a 2006 Whitman alumnus. This connection ultimately became a motivating force. “Nathan Fitzpatrick was a huge selling point for me,” said Beckett. “I knew that if I didn’t go directly into business school I wanted to do something service-oriented, and I didn’t know what was out there or what I really wanted to do. When Nathan visited he was so high on Teach For America that it got me excited.” Beyond an organization's philosophy and the recruitment process, the factors that affect each student’s decision vary widely. Senior Autumn McCartan was motivated to join AmeriCorps not only by her desire to serve, but also by its location

Whitman Student Involvement in Teach For America (2004-2009) 40 Senior Applicants TFA Corps Members 30

Number of Students

by MARYBETH MURRAY

close to home and by positive feedback she has heard. “AmeriCorps offers so many diverse programs in the Seattle area that I couldn't pass it up,” said McCartan in an e-mail. “I have several friends who participate in education-based programs who could not stop raving about it. They all claim that they feel like they are really making a difference in the communities they are in.” As students go through the selection process, weighing these options, they often hear criticism of the organization they have chosen and must learn to deal with these accusations. McCartan has heard claims that AmeriCorps participants are sometimes selfserving and unproductive. While she worries about this problem, McCartan keeps a positive outlook. “AmeriCorps has so many programs that not every single one can be equally constructive,” said McCartan. “I just have to trust that I can make my AmeriCorps experience positive and productive.” Beckett agrees that the best approach is to be realistic with expectations and goals when going into a program like Teach for America. “I feel like my education here has prepared me to be an educator, but I don’t feel that the Whitman experience as a whole has prepared me in any way for what I’m going to face when I get down to Phoenix,” said Beckett. “The Whitman 'bubble' is drastically different than the low income communities that corps members will be teaching in. You just kind of have to jump in, from what I’ve heard. It’s definitely not supposed to be anything that I have experienced before.” Ultimately, the decision-making process is a highly personal one that varies according to the needs and ideologies of each student. While interviews are important for the organization itself, they are just as vital for applicants trying to find the right fit. Although Matthew Hogue represents the Peace Corps, he stressed the importance of getting to know any organization well before committing. “There are a lot of options; people just need to weigh them all out,” Hogue said.

20 10 0

2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

*Participation statistics from Teach for America Whitman applicants for Teach for America have increased from six in 2003!2004 to 38 in 2008!2009. According to Recruitment Director Nathan Fitzpatrick ‘06, a change in recruitment strategies, as well as greater visibility on campus, helped spur these changes in 2006.

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Opinion

The Pioneer ISSUE 6 MAR. 4, 2010 Page 8

M

App store better without iBoobs Democracy: Coups versus elections

On Feb. 19, Apple began the systematic removal of every app in the iTunes Store that is designed to titillate, arouse or otherwise stimuBLAIR FRANK late. All of the Columnist apps designed to showcase scantily clad women (and men, for that matter) have, for the most part, been removed, effective immediately. Tech pundits at large have been mouthing off about how Apple is censoring the iPhone and inhibiting expression. For the uninitiated, there were something close to 5,000 apps on the iTunes store with names like “Asian Boobs,” “Sexy Scratch-Off ” and perennial favorite “iBoobs.” Anyone suggesting these apps are worth saving is dead wrong. Sure, it was sudden and

LOO S-DI A

unannounced, but as far as I’m concerned, Apple did the right thing. For example: “Asian Boobs” made it into the top spot of the most downloaded paid apps in the App Store on the weekend of its release. I remember that weekend. Honestly, looking at that icon of a woman’s silhouette on a red background gave me a skeezy feeling. The iPhone is a sleek, classy piece of gadgetry. Apps dedicated solely to the display of scantily clad women diminish that for me. Now, some people are saying that Apple is being hypocritical. After all, it’s possible to buy R-rated movies and incredibly

explicit rap from the iTunes store. If you can see naked mammaries and listen to incredibly explicit music already, a plethora of girls in bikinis is relatively tame, right? Well, there’s one major difference between all of these breast-related applications and other media: On some level, everything else is art—though the artfulness of each piece is debatable. The applications in question are simply designed to provoke a baser response in the viewer. Why shouldn’t you care? There are a few very good reasons. First and foremost, the iPhone is connected to the Internet. This is the same Internet that will deliver all of this content, in many cases, without you having to pay for it!

Also, it means that people aren’t confronted with the idea of having these apps on their devices every time they go onto the iTunes store. Then there’s the issue of kids and the App Store, because although it’s impossible for them to download apps with questionable content, assuming the parental controls are set up properly, it’s still possible for them to see what apps there are, including their screenshots and icons, which in many cases are less than savory. So, complain about censorship all you want, but get your half-naked pictures out of the App Store. Seriously, it’s disgusting to think about.

LLO

It is a little too easy to say that democratic elections are the best method of changing leadership around the world. Un f o r t u n a t e l y the international HEATHER community has a NICHOLSHAINING bad habit of sayColumnist ing just this. It’s trendy to condemn coups and attempted coups on principle, though often the coups are attempts to regain democratic footing in countries where democracy is little more than powerful rhetoric used by militant leaders. The recent military coup in Niger was purportedly an attempt to regain democratic equilibrium in a country where the president had a track record of altering laws to retain power. Ousted President Tandja had changed the constitution several times to stay in office and delay elections. He was democratically elected in fair trials, but his tenure in office was a step away from democracy. Though he overstayed his time in office and the people were frustrated with him to the point of instigating a year-long constitutional crisis, the international community refuses the coup on grounds of a breach of democracy, despite that the current government promises to hold democratic elections in the near future. This is not an isolated event. The international community, particularly highly-industrialized and developed countries, has a history of dogmatically clinging to elections as a symbol of fair and legitimate democracy. Recent coups in Madagascar and Honduras and political unrest in Kenya and Sudan reflect instances in which democratic elections are harmful to the democratic process. Last year in Madagascar, the incumbent President Ravalomanana imposed several campaigning restrictions to hamper the possibility of lesser-known opponents

winning the elections. When his opponent did win the elections, Ravalomanana contested the results and refused to leave office. Rajoelina effectively led months of violent protest to oust the incumbent president, which the United States and the European Union condemned. The recent arrest and trial of Turkish military officials allegedly attempting to overthrow the government is the latest in a recent string of coups around the world. Although those under investigation are denying their involvement in such an attempt, there has been remarkably little coverage on the increasing change of Turkish laws and constitution to reflect the Muslim majority, including laws that require all government officials’ wives to be covered with a head scarf and compulsory religious education for children. The hotly-debated question is if these changes are in fact democratic or if they reflect a government trying to solidify its power by changing laws. While many governments refuse to support or recognize the legitimacy of governments that come to power via violent coups, the United States has not shied away from instigating coups when it sees an interest. Including coups to oust Haitian, Nicaraguan and Chilean governments, the United States has a brutal history of supporting undemocratic coups for far less noble reasons than what some current leaders of coups are espousing. Supporting democracy is not a matter of clinging to current governments and advocating for elections at all costs. When incumbent leaders have the power to change laws surrounding the presidency and polling, elections do not necessarily represent the will of the people. The answer is not to shun all coups on principle, but to shun leaders who work to extend their power at the expense of democracy. Coups should be prevented by focusing on democracy before the situation elevates to the point where a coup is the only conceivable means of removing someone from power.

Webcams used to keep tabs on students If you have a laptop, it probably has a webcam. You may have used the camera to Skype with friends studying abroad, take JAMES SLEDD wacky pictures Columnist with Photo booth or chat with random strangers on Chatroulette. But what would that webcam record if it flicked on at anytime, anywhere, and without your knowledge? And what if authorities could access those images whenever they liked? Imagine that the school administration used webcams to capture 2-West residents smoking pot in Jewett Hall while listening to Toots and the Maytals, and then used those photographs as evidence to punish the offending students. Sounds like something out of “1984,” right? Unfortunately, Pennsylvania high school student Blake Robbins recently found out that such an Orwellian scenario is not the stuff of science fiction. Last November, Robbins’ vice principal called him into her office. She accused him of taking illegal drugs. The evidence? A photograph taken from the webcam on Robbins’ schoolissued MacBook that showed him handling pill-shaped objects. The camera snapped the picture at Robbins’ home—without his knowledge or permission. Lower Marion School District recently began loaning laptops to every high school student in the district for free. Unbeknownst to the students, there was a catch: Administrators loaded the laptops with security software that could remotely activate the computers’ webcams. School administrators did not notify students or their families that they could monitor the computers, and students who complained that the indicator light next to their webcams would occasionally illuminate were told that

FENNELL A Pennsylvania school used a student’s webcam to capture incriminating images. Avoid using institutional technology while participating in questionable activities.

But what would that webcam record if it flicked on at anytime, anywhere, and without your knowledge? their computers had a glitch. But this was no glitch. Lower Marion School District was intentionally and systematically spying on its students outside of school hours. Last week, Robbins’ family filed a class-action lawsuit against the school

district for violating students’ civil rights and privacy. In response, the district admitted that it had activated the security system without students’ permission—not once, not twice, but 42 times over the past school year. The cameras, they claimed, were only activated in cases of missing or stolen laptops. The school district’s claim that the cameras were used only on missing computers seems suspicious in light of Blake Robbins’ trip to the vice principal’s office. Regardless of whether their motives were legitimate, district administrators vastly overstepped their authority and blatantly violated students’ privacy.

It’s easy to picture scenarios that could result in school officials snapping embarrassing or inappropriate photos of students. One Lower Marion student who brought her laptop into the bathroom to play music while she showered worried that school employees may have photographed her in the nude. This possibility is simply unacceptable. School administrators should not be peeping Toms. Making matters even worse, experts have pointed out that the intrusive security measures are ineffective. Any pictures from a stolen laptop’s camera could never prove that the person photographed stole the computer and would be laughed out of court. Less

intrusive strategies such as GPS tracking devices would actually be more effective at preventing theft. The Robbins family claims the school district actually caught Blake abusing Mike & Ike’s, his favorite candy. But it shouldn’t matter whether the pictures showed Blake Robbins eating candy, drinking Jack Daniels or snorting lines of cocaine off of a prostitute. Schools simply have no right to electronically spy on their students and their after-school activities. Lower Marion School District officials deserve their own trip to the principal’s office—or in this case, an angry judge’s courtroom. Let’s hope they receive harsh punishment.


OPINION

March 4, 2010

9

Whitman: Get out Studying abroad goes beyond How many times, walking across campus have you encountered “that girl from the other night?” How many faces have you seen so many times that JOEY KERN you feel like you Columnist know them without having ever spoken to them? How many stories have you heard about people you’ve never met? Fortunately, Whitman College is a tight-knit community filled with familiar faces. Unfortunately, however, Whitman College is a tight-knit community filled with familiar faces. Allow me to explain.

How many stories have you heard about people you’ve never met?

There is a certain comfort that accompanies a small, intimate community. You never feel out of place, there’s always somebody to talk to and it’s easy to feel involved on campus. But, there is also the inevitable stagnation of familiarity, the feeling you’ve met everyone worth meeting, that you have somehow exhausted whatever social resources you were given upon coming to college. Fortunately, the solution is a simple one: Get out. Not because Whitman is a bad place, not because there is anything inherently wrong with a close-knit group of people, but because you need to see new faces sometimes, because you need to break free from the scrutiny of rumor, because people inevitably need a change of pace. You don’t have to go far and a bike will suffice if a car is not available but the crucial aspect to this remedy of nauseating frustrations is the change of scenery for which you pedal or burn those fossil fuels. This is in no way a commentary bashing life here at Whitman. To say that I haven’t had a great time here would be utterly wrong and this is

meant rather as a commentary on intimate communities in general. The fact is, there is a feeling of paralysis that familiarity breeds in people over time, a feeling that you are unable to escape people you would rather not see, and a feeling that your mood is seemingly controlled by some insidious campuswide Overmind. A few friends and I recently took a trip to Portland over the course of a weekend. The drive was surprisingly palatable and being in a real city, if but for a few days, was refreshing. There are a number of things to do on the Whitman campus and in the greater Walla Walla area. However, this supposed “number of things” is actually not terribly high and there can be no denying that Portland or Seattle each have a differing appeal of infinite opportunity. There’s something expansive about a big city that a tight community lacks and, for the very reason that living constantly in a big city can be overwhelming, the tight-knit community can, over time, seem underwhelming. The city is the change in scenery I personally crave when I leave campus, but for others, a trip to the mountains could suffice—camping, travelling anywhere just for a new setting and a new set of possible experiences. This is not specific to Whitman, and those who have grown up in small towns could undoubtedly attest that the occasional diversion from a set of all-too-familiar norms is refreshing and serves in renewing an interest in those norms via a brief departure from them. These negative feelings are not by any means pervasive or common, and, in fact, occur rarely and only after prolonged exposure to the allergen of intimacy. In fact, the effect of a good trip to the mountains, to any more expansive and perhaps less alliterative city, is the equivalent of a reset button. You shake the cobwebs from your system and return to Whitman in a mood that allows you to, yet again, appreciate the closeness that brought you here in the first place.

Got something to say?

“Spanish” to “global” culture Let’s say you’re a Whitman student preparing to study abroad in Europe. You’re armed with your “500 Verbs;” you can conjugate and express uncertainty (sort GILLIAN FREW of). Maybe you’ve Columnist skimmed a few recent headlines about your country of choice, but let’s be honest: You can’t wait to snap that first shot by the Eiffel Tower or sip cappuccino by the Colosseum. You can’t help it. The “Old World” still inspires that sort of thrill, especially for West Coasters like me who consider 75-yearold architecture more or less “historic.” I arrived in Madrid ready for tapas, flamenco shows and Semana Santa (Holy Week) revelries. I marveled at the tall, palatial structures lining a street older than my state, and was, as many Americans would be, duly horrified to see that some of them contained Starbucks. Here’s the catch: It may seem like sacrilege that sleazy exports like McDonalds are springing up near renaissance cathedrals, and even in China’s Forbidden City. But it’s also old news, and besides, globalization is more farreaching than fast food. That’s what was on my mind the other day during our seminar on la actualidad española, in which my fellow international students and I gather to discuss such topics as the Spanish political system and how not to get our prepaid cell phones stolen on the metro. Its primary function is to teach us how to integrate into Spanish culture, or at least not comport ourselves like complete extranjeros, or foreigners. “Seventy percent of communication is non-verbal,” the professor reminds us. Pointing to a pie chart with a 30 percent slice labeled “verbal,” he prompts, “How can this be?” We discuss body language—for instance, Americans have certain inhibitions about personal space that of-

ten translate into our speech, as well. I started off making indirect requests like podría tener éste, por favor (could I please have this) instead of using the more up-close-and-personal dámelo (give it to me). Fashion is also a factor. In a city where elderly women don furs and high-heeled boots just to sort through the sales rack and even some preschoolers wear pea coats, you tend to stand out for wearing that college Tshirt. Students on my program have probably been taking some version of this course for years, swapping advice not only on how to speak—but also dress and act—more Spanish. Yet Spain itself has undergone some radical changes in that time period, and cities like Madrid are home to people from all kinds of cultural backgrounds, not simply Spanish (or Basque or Catalan). So just as we study abroad students are trying to acquaint ourselves with what it means to lead an essentially “Spanish” lifestyle (whatever that might mean) Spain is trying to adjust to its own budding multiculturalism after decades of isolation under Franco. As someone who appears obviously foreign, I’ve spoken to waiters, taxi drivers, etc. in sentences I know to be at least grammatically correct, only to have them address my native speaker friend as if I need a translator. Among our seminar professor’s favorite expressions is, “no sois turísticos, sois estudiantes” (you’re not tourists, you’re students), but today I sat in a café reading a medieval Spanish epic without a dictionary and the barista still asked me in English if I was finished with my drink. In the last few weeks as I’ve felt more at ease in Madrid, it has started to dawn on me what an uphill battle new arrivals must fight. Even if you try to blend in here, the attitude many extranjeros still face is one of “you’re not fooling anybody.” I may be a student, but I’m really just visiting, not trying to start a new life. Not so for the more than five million

immigrants who have settled here over the past decade. And when I think of all the gradients of race and class by which newcomers are so often judged, I guess I’d rather be asked if I’m looking for my hotel than struggle to make a living by hawking one-euro beers on street corners, as do some recent immigrants from China. Spain has undergone a massive demographic shift since immigration spiked between 2000 and 2009 (it has since slowed due to the global recession). During that time, the country’s immigrant population swelled from about two percent to 12 percent. Despite the influx, however, many Spanish cities remain relatively homogeneous, with immigrants, many from North Africa and Latin America, occupying the predictable fringes of mainstream society. Although ethnic tension is comparatively low in Spain, so too is an appreciation for diversity. Even young Spaniards tend to refer to all persons of Asian descent as “chinos,” a term also applied to the corner stores or alimentaciones often run by immigrant shopkeepers. It’s true that real communication is not only about language, but neither is bias; just ask an immigrant from Ecuador. I’ve had several “native” Spaniards try to explain to me the differences between “good” and “bad” Spanish, implicitly citing the supposedly inferior quality of Spanish spoken in Latin America. A Pomona student in my class whose parents were born in Guatemala said she expected to stand out for being “too brown” in Spain, although she speaks fluent Spanish. Studying abroad may be all about understanding another culture, but as globalization speeds up that won’t be restricted to just one. Spain may be known for its paella, but it probably offers an even greater selection of döner kebab. It’s important to focus not only on attaining a holistically Spanish or other kind of singular experience, but to savor what we’ve long referred to in the States as the melting pot.

POLI T IC AL C ARTOON

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LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Editor, In regard to the article “Pamphlet Guys” (Issue 5, p. 8): I get that it’s on the opinion page, and I believe that everybody is entitled to his or her own opinion. However, I take great offense at the inclusion of a piece that dedicates one third of its content to bashing peoples’ personal beliefs. Though I find the author’s assessment of atheism to be misguided, especially when every condemnation of the “atheist avenger” he presents also applies to the so-called “religious crusaders,” this is not what I take most offense with. He is entitled to his opinion, and I am not writing to debate religious beliefs. My problem is that something so blatantly inflammatory was validated with publication. I certainly agree that pamphlet guys are irritating, as I don’t like being preached to any more than the next person. However, the article’s presentation of the “avenger” goes beyond how annoying pamphlet people are and escalates to a condemnation of atheism. Perhaps it doesn’t seem like a big deal,

as atheism may (or may not, I don’t know) be a prevalent view on the Whitman campus. My concerns may seem like the view of the majority trying to defend itself. Regardless, whomever the language is directed towards, the sort of language present borders on hate speech. If the same or comparable words were printed about a religious tradition, we’d probably have another symposium or campus backlash on our hands. As such, I am confused as to why it is suddenly OK to print stuff along the lines of “[the atheist] drag[s] people kicking and screaming from the safety of their faith” for “condescending” self-gratification. Present here is a gross double standard about what types of personal viewpoints should be protected and which are fair game to attack. Overall, I believe that publishing this article shows a great deal of poor judgment. Differing viewpoints are great, but at what point does one guy’s opinion become outright bashing? DOUGLAS - Ian Gill ‘11

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Sports

The Pioneer ISSUE 6 MAR. 4, 2010 Page 10

W’ T

M

Embattled ski teams qualify for USCSA Nationals by MISSY NAVARRO Staff Reporter

VON HAFFTEN Kate Kunkel-Patterson ‘13 laments a lost point during the women’s tennis team’s Feb. 27 loss to Linfield College. Kunkel-Patterson won her singles match in a third set tie break.

Wildcats tame Missionaries by LINDSAY FAIRCHILD Staff Reporter

After breezing by Pacific University 9-0 on Saturday, Feb. 27, completing their their third shut out of the season, Whitman’s women tennis took on the Linfield Wildcats Sunday, Feb. 28, on the outdoor courts. After many a hardfought match, the Wildcats were able to squeak by Whitman 5-4, bringing Linfield’s Northwest Conference record to 4-2 and dropping the Missionaries to 3-2. Linfield took an early 2-1 lead following the doubles matches and never looked back as the Missionaries and Wildcats split the six singles matches. Whitman went down at number one and three singles in close decisions, both matches fell 8-6 to Linfield. Senior Divneet Kaur and junior Elise Otto battled it out for position at number one doubles, but in the end, even Kaur’s encouraging words and both their efforts fell short. At number three doubles, sopho-

more Emily Rolston and first-year Kate Kunkel-Patterson also fought hard; despite Rolston’s inspired play, they fell short as well. Coach John Hein is pleased with the effort shown by the team this weekend and thinks that Whitman will prove to be even more formidable in upcoming matches. “[Sunday against the Wildcats] was one of those matches that a few points here or there and we’d walk away with the win, so I’m definitely excited to play them again,” said Hein. First-year Alyssa Roberg and senior Hadley DeBree were the only Whitman duo that won, and they did so in dramatic fashion, winning the tiebreaker. With both girls giving it their all, uplifting on-court communication by Roberg and strong hits and serves by both DeBree and Roberg, the two were able to pull out the win, even after trailing 0-3 in the decisive tiebreak. Unforced errors by both teams allowed break points to be won and lost

and chances to slip away. However, the tiebreak showed just how focused and intense Roberg and DeBree were and how much they wanted to win. After falling behind 0-3 due to three consecutive unforced errors, they rallied back with good serves and un-returnable volleys. Roberg and DeBree only allowed Linfield two more points in the tiebreak, eventually winning 9-8 (7-5). “The doubles match was definitely a difficult one for which Hadley and I had to block everything else out and just really focus on every point,” Roberg said. “It was tough not to let the results of other matches affect you, since Had and I were the last ones playing. It was a great feeling to pull that match out, and it lets me know that under any situation Hadley and I can compose ourselves and pull out any match.” The doubles matches proved to be the decisive ones, as on the singles side Whitman and Linfield split the deci-

sions. At the number-one spot, Roberg deftly handled her Wildcat counterpart 6-4, 6-4. Despite dropping her second set, Kaur, working at the number-four seed, kept it rolling into the third set, pulling out a 6-2, 4-6, 6-3 win. In the sixth spot, Kunkel-Patterson was the only other Whittie to win a singles match. After splitting her first two sets, she won the third set tiebreaker 10-8. Struggling at the second spot, Otto fell in a heartbreaking 4-6, 4-6 loss. DeBree, playing at the third seed, dropped the first set 2-6, made it a match by taking the second 4-6, but quickly fell 6-1 in the third. Rolston fell in step at five singles, losing 3-6, 2-6. Whitman hopes to avenge this loss next time they play Linfield on Saturday, April 3, in McMinnville, Ore. The next women’s tennis match is Saturday, March 5, against Lewis and Clark in Portland. The next home women’s tennis match will be Saturday, March 27, against George Fox University.

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With a season full of unexpected turns, the Whitman Alpine Ski Team’s rise to nationals this week after dominating conference regionals in February came as a surprise. After transitioning from varsity to club status, the men and women of both the Alpine and Nordic Ski Teams also switched to different leagues, facing off against a whole new set of schools. “We’ve never competed in this league, so we have no idea how we stack up against the rest,” said sophomore Torey Anderson of the women’s team. The Alpine team took on the Northwest Collegiate Skiing Conference regional competition at the Snow Basin Resort in Utah days after the tragic loss of first-year teammate Richard O’Brien. Although their confidence was shaken, it did not stop the team from defying the odds. Placing seventh place out of 14 on the first day, the women’s team felt that they were already out of the running. However, unexpected mistakes made by leading competitors helped Anderson and her teammates zip past the rest and qualify for the United States Collegiate Ski and Snowboard Association (USCSA) nationals, finishing third. “Our mindset going into regionals was with Richie,” said sophomore Lexie Dreschel, also of the women’s team. “At this point, putting pressure on ourselves would have been too much. The most important part of skiing for Richie was that he was having fun.” The Whitman Alpine men also reigned supreme in the league and the sudden boost to the team’s morale took both the men and women to the top of regionals. The men ended up first and won the league. Other feats include individual top 10 overall finishes by Dreschel and sophomore Alpine skier Polly Evans. Sophomores Chris Machesney, Tim Bak, Brad West and Nathan Ord all finished among the top 10 in the conference. “It’s quite the accomplishment,” said Dreschel, who also mentioned that the men’s team has not competed on a national level in this league for years. According to College Snow Sports Magazine, the men’s Alpine Team is predicted to finish sixth at nationals. Last year’s decision to cut varsity skiing gave the current Whitman skiers motivation to prove that they could succeed on their own as a club. “We first had the motivation to make it on our own, but we now motivation to do it for Richie,” said Dreschel. Anderson agreed. “We would like to focus on being in the in the moment of the race and doing our best—just being happy doing what we love is important,” said Anderson. The team received a Facebook message from O’Brien’s family expressing their well wishes and cheers for the seven nationals-bound competitors. Both the men and the women plan to wear bright purple bandanas in honor of O’Brien, who always wore vivid colors on the slopes. “We’re going to focus on supporting one another as a team. Growing up, skiing was always an individual thing, but now it’s a team sport. We’ll be cheering each other on,” said Dreschel. The team is currently at the United States Collegiate Ski and Snowboard Association national competition, held March 1-6 in Sunday River, Maine.

COURTESY OF WHITMAN ATHLETICS


SPORTS

March 4, 2010

11

Cameron Benner: Whitman’s own speed racer First-year Benner finds a way to balance academics with a pre-college love, racing. This year he’s competing on the Red Line Time Attack circuit. by BAILEY ARANGO Staff Reporter

While the life of a typical Whitman first-year has its hazards, they generally tend not to expand any further than broomball injuries and ill-advised experimentation with facial hair. Not so with first-year Cameron Benner. When not catching up on sleep and Encounters readings, Benner immerses himself in a life far removed from the typical Whittie experience—the world of competitive auto racing. When Benner turned 16, an age which found many of his classmates struggling to understand the intricacies of using turn signals, Cameron began attending a school for highperformance driving. “It started out as a love of driving,” Benner said. The same feeling of freedom that so many associate with getting their first driver’s license eventually drove Benner, a Portland native, to Track Days, a Portland-based program that caters to driving enthusiasts. Benner says it was his experiences at these casual events that started him down the road to competitive racing. “At Track Days, you get in different cars and drive them on a racetrack; I got to drive Porsches and Audis, just cruising cars for fun, but I quickly found out I kind of had a talent for it. I was just faster than everyone else, and from there it was sort of a natural progression into racing,” Benner said Barely two years after Benner stepped out of Driver’s Ed, he found himself in the winner’s circle. Last summer he won the Oregon Region ITE championship as well as the Oregon Wheel-to-Wheel Rookie of the Year award. It was then Benner knew he had found his calling. “I really love racing,” Benner said.

COURTESY OF CAMERON BENNER Cameron Benner ‘13 runs practice laps at Track Days in Portland, Ore. Benner has been driving competitively for two years.

“I always say, life moves slower at 160 miles per hour.” As of this month, however, Benner says things are going to start moving a lot faster. “I didn’t know I’d be driving this year until two week ago. COBB Tuning has been informally sponsoring me for a while, but a few weeks ago I got a call from one of the sponsors saying he’d submitted a projection of costs for the season, and that this year for the first time they’d be putting together a threecar national team, and he offered me a position,” said Benner. After a negotiation process that included stipulations that Benner appear at press releases, write summaries of his performance and give interviews for the company Web site, the deal was

finalized: Benner and the number 21 car he has driven for the past year will be competing in 10 races from Cali-

The tour I compete on has cars with 550 horsepower going 165 miles per hour through road courses that have turns all over, along with elevation and terrain changes, all while competing wheel-towheel against other cars going just as fast. - Cameron Benner ‘13

Tiger’s legacy tarnished

JAY GOLD & BIDNAM LEE Staff Reporters

Eldrick “Tiger” Woods was the highestpaid professional athlete in 2008. He has won 14 professional major golf championships, 71 PGA Tour events and 16 World Golf Championships. He has held the number-one position in the world rankings for the most consecutive weeks and for the greatest total number of weeks. He has been awarded PGA Player of the Year a record 10 times. He is only 34 years old in a sport that regularly includes those that are well into their 50s. And he wasn’t just the face of golf—he was its head, its hands, its torso, its legs, its feet, its opposable thumbs. He was golf. On a cultural level, he was one of the most celebrated sports icons in history. No athlete since Michael Jordan had been so unequivocally the face of not only his own sport, but of the sporting world. He was put on a pedestal that few people—let alone athletes—ever reach. Being half Asian, a quarter African American, one-eighth Native American and one-eighth Dutch, he was also a social phenomenon—an unquestionably marvelous product of America and the embodiment of what America represents. But that was then. On Feb. 19, 2010, Tiger delivered a televised speech from the PGA Tour headquarters in Florida, apologizing for his “transgressions,” or more plainly, his “rampant infidelity.” Since his marriage to Elin Nordegren, a former Swedish model, in November of 2003, Tiger allegedly had affairs with 14 different women, some of which lasted over two and a half years. Augmenting the inherent despicability of his actions, Tiger’s adulterous texts and phone calls, as well as interviews with his mistresses have pervaded the media world. Ultimately what we have found is that one of the most celebrated cultural icons of our time has been totally obliterated. It shouldn’t be overly shocking that Tiger Woods (like so many other athletes and celebrities) is guilty of marital infidelity. After all, he’s an unbelievably prominent athlete, he spends much of the year touring away from his family and he’s been elevated to an almost God-like status in this country since his late teens. Still, this scandal is relatively

earth shattering in that it surfaced and altered public perceptions regarding Tiger so abruptly. Over the years, Jordan revealed himself to be an egomaniacal, vindictive man with a gambling problem (among other things). However, his negative traits appeared rather gradually and, in some cases, not until after he retired from the NBA. On the other hand, Tiger went from being viewed as a respectable and worthy role model to an adulterer and depraved sex addict in a matter of days. Is there really any precedence for something like this? Let’s list some of the greatest cultural icons of the last century or so: JFK, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, Martin Luther King, Jr., James Dean, Michael Jackson, Madonna. Not too surprisingly, all of them had pretty publicized vices and issues, some of them even sharing the same vice as Tiger Woods. But never have those vices and issues been so ubiquitously symbolized in society as the text messages, voice mails and cell phone IDs that damned Tiger. A cultural icon’s own text messages from his cellular phone becoming the symbols of his demise? The exponentially increasing speed and ever-expansive process of accessing and spreading information in today’s cultural framework has finally culminated in becoming the very antagonist to Tiger’s attempt to manufacture and carefully construct his image. All of a sudden the image he projected throughout his career suddenly proved to be nothing more than a carefully crafted illusion. While some have referred to Tig e r ’s apol-

CONTRIBUTED BY DUJIE TAHAT ogy as sincere, we see it as little more than a calculated attempt to rebuild this tarnished image. His audience was carefully selected—only few hand-picked

reporters were allowed witness his speech live—he showed astonishingly little emotion and he refused to answer questions. Obviously, it was enough for some, but his return to the PGA Tour— whenever it is—will undoubtedly be met with a range of emotions. The question is, “What does this all mean for golf ’s future?”

The image he projected throughout his career proved to be nothing more than a carefully crafted illusion. Golf without Tiger is almost obsolete in mainstream America. When Tiger’s epic final round in the U.S. Open in 2008 was broadcast on NBC, it bested Game Five of the NBA Finals in the TV ratings, which was airing on competing station, ABC. Immediately following his U.S. Open victory, Tiger underwent season-ending knee surgery and television ratings subsequently plummeted. No one wants to see Padraig Harrington and Kenny Perry play golf. Even golfers such as Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els are only quasi-stars at all because they occasionally compete with Tiger. Ever since he stormed onto the professional golf scene with his dominating victory at the 1997 Masters, golf has been viewed in terms of Tiger. Y.E. Yang’s victory in the 2009 PGA Championship did not captivate the nation’s attention in and of itself; the central storyline was not that Yang won, but that he did so as the David to Tiger’s usually insurmountable Goliath. Whether Tiger wins or loses, the golf world and the media that covers it unswervingly revolve around his status as the sport’s unquestioned alpha dog, as its only player who figures into the pantheon of American sports legends. For all of the damage his transgressions have caused to his previously untarnished reputation, golf needs him to return and to resume his previous dominance. Most sports fans will never view Tiger as they did before and some will never forgive him. However, Tiger’s personal life only receives the scrutiny that it does because his skills as a golfer are so otherworldly. We are a forgiving people and our guess is that returning and winning some tournaments will do more to remind the American public why they fell in love with Tiger than a staged apology ever could. That doesn’t negate his guilt; it’s just the way our sports culture works. We are predisposed to hope for the fallen sports hero to rise and mesmerize us as he did before.

fornia to Florida. Keeping up with his schoolwork and his racing has been no easy task for Benner. When asked how he juggles school and racing, he just smiles. “Oh boy. It hasn’t been easy, especially because racing isn’t a Whitmanrecognized program,” said Benner. “I’ve had to meet with the dean and my professors, but luckily this semester I’ll mostly be racing on weekends, flying out of Friday nights. My priorities are education first and then racing a distant second.” Benner has also had to deal with the reality that very few Whitman students care for professional racing, let alone know how it works. “Most people think, oh, you go in a circle. That’s NASCAR,” he said. “The

tour I compete on has cars with 550 horsepower going 165 miles per hour through road courses that have turns all over, left and right, along with elevation and terrain changes, all while competing wheel-to-wheel against other cars going just as fast.” Red Line Time Attack, the nationwide tour Benner will soon be racing on, is among the first competitive circuits to completely make the change to biofuel. Benner says the switch to biofuel makes sense on a competitive level as well as an ecological one. “The chemistry behind the biofuels actually generates more horsepower because it burns much more efficiently than leaded fuel,” Benner said. Benner is also familiar with the hostility felt toward motor sports by environmentalists. “I always hear people say that racing is horrible for the environment, with terrible emissions, et cetera,” he said. “The reality is that the car companies like Porsche or Audi make for professional racing are the pinnacle of their technology. All the advances you see in new cars for public consumption, all of these technologies were presented in race cars first. They’re looking for that upper edge, stretching their legs, flexing their muscles, getting recognition. That’s why I’m so interested in biofuel. The motor sports industry taking on biofuel will eventually trickle down to the consumer market.” While he’s more than content enjoying his first-year Whitman experience for the time being, Benner can’t wait to get back on the racetrack. “You just get in this zone, the driving zone. If you’re worried about risk, you can’t do it,” he said. “If you let the idea of risk integrate its way into the race craft, you might as well not be driving.”

S

Men's & Women's Golf: Both men

and women will begin their seasons this Saturday, March 6, in Moses Lake, Wash. in a three-way match against North Idaho College and Whitworth University. The men will be without key contributor Brian Barton who is abroad this semester. The women's season looks promising, as they look to capitalize on the momentum they built last fall with great finishes by first-years Tate Head and Caitlin Holland.

Baseball: The Whit men will host

the University of Puget Sound for their home opener this weekend at the newly renovated Borleske Stadium. They will square of twice in a double header on Saturday, March 6, starting at 11 a.m., and once on Sunday, March 7, at noon. The Missionaries are still winless and hope that conference play will yield better results.

Women's Tennis: The Missionar-

ies will be looking to rebound from a close, disappointing loss against Linfield College last Sunday, Feb. 28. They will be taking to the courts of Portland, Ore., facing Lewis & Clark College Saturday, March 6. The Whitman women will then round off their Oregon road trip in Salem against Willamette University Sunday, March 7. They will have a rough trip as Lewis & Clark and Willamette are in second and third place in conference standings with 6-1, and 4-1 records overall.

Men's Tennis: Whitman will have

a chance to extend its 53 Northwest Conference win streak on their home courts with two matches this weekend. On Saturday, March 6, they will compete with Willamette University at 2 p.m. The following day, the Whit men will also take on Lewis & Clark University at 2 p.m.

S

SATURDAY, Feb. 27

SUNDAY, Feb. 28

Baseball: Corban College 9, Whitman College 5

Baseball: Whitman College 3, University of Puget Sound 5 L—Mercado (0-3) Whitman...................000 030 000 - 3 7 1 Puget Sound..............001 101 02x - 5 9 1

L—Tolleson (0-2) Corban.....................402 300 000 - 9 16 5 Whitman..................000 201 020 - 5 8 1

Women's Tennis: Pacific University 0, Whitman College 9 Singles—Roberg (WC) d. Goya 6-3, 2-6, 10-8; Otto (WC) d. Yoshimoto 6-0, 6-0; DeBree (WC) d. Wong 6-1, 6-0; Kaur (WC) d. Mizuno 7-6 (7-3), 7-6 (7-3); Rolston (WC) d. Velligas 6-2, 6-2; Kunkel-Patterson (WC) d. Greene 6-2, 6-1; Doubles—Otto/Kaur (WC) d. Goya/Yoshimoto 8-3; Roberg/ DeBree (WC) d. Wong/Mizuno 9-8 (7-4); Rolston/Scott (WC) d. Velligas/ Soga 8-5

Linfield College 0, Whitman College 2 L—Korsmo (0-2) Linfield...................024 010 130 - 11 13 0 Whitman................000 200 020 - 4 8 2 Women's Tennis: Linfield College 5, Whitman College 4 Singles—Roberg (WC) d. Olbrich 6-4, 6-4; Katter (LC) d. Otto 7-6 (7-5), 6-4; Larson (LC) d. DeBree 6-2, 4-6, 6-1; Kaur (WC) d. Click 6-2, 4-6, 6-3; Nip (LC) d. Rolston 6-3, 6-2; Kunkel-Patterson (WC) d. Franceshina 6-4, 6-7 (3-7), 10-8; Doubles—Katter/Olbrich (LC) d. Kaur/Otto 8-6; Roberg/Debree (WC) d. Click/Watanabe 9-8 (7-5); Larson/Franceschina (LC) d. Rolston/Kunkel-Patterson

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Backpage

The Pioneer ISSUE 6 MAR. 4, 2010 Page 12

attempting humor since 1922...ish

Ok, so you’re gay! Why you came to a school that barely has men, let alone men capable of social interaction, let alone gay men, is NOT the question to ask right now. The question is . . .

Which break should you use to come out of the closet back home?!

5. Four-day is great because you can…

Drive on home to Seattle, go to Pike Place with your Mom until she says, “Ugh, have you ever gotten the smell of fish on your hands?” and then say, “Never! And it’s not because I’m vegetarian.”

4. Winter break is great because you can…

Go to the Christmas service with your grandparents, sit with them right in front of the Jesus statue and ask them if they would be okay if you spent the rest of your life being: skinny but with amazing abs, typically portrayed with his hands in the air, and being literally just friends with female prostitutes.

G IRN R U S E AT RITE

F GUEST W

boys who like boys Chapman Strong and Michael Blackwood

LEGO my health care Hi, my name is Timmy. I am in Ms. Nelson’s forth grade class at Green Park Elemen… scool. After scool, I go home and my mom makes me apples and penut buter and then I watch MSNBC and do my homework. I know a lot about poletics and stuff and the Backpage asked me to talk about what’s happning in Washington. I took some pictures to help me. 1) Okay here is Amrica and enshurance kompanys come in like RAWR and they eat Amerikas money and pepul are sick.

1

3. Spring break is great because you can…

4

Go to Cancun with the one ugly cousin in your family, wait for her to sulk around in her swimsuit and say, “Until they meet me, everyone assumes I have good genes because I’m in this family,” and then say, “Until they meet me, everyone assumes I have good jeans because I’M GAY!”

2. Summer is great because you can…

Wait for the tanks to drive by in the 4th of July parade and tell your family, “Man, I could never join the Army! No seriously, I could never join the Army.”

1. Thanksgiving is great because you can…

Wait until your father has his hand inside the turkey and your grandmother is packing fudge into boxes to send out for Christmas, and your mom asks you if you “got some good stuffing at college” and you’ll say, “No.” “…Oh”, your mom will say, “Well that’s too bad, I heard that Bon Appétit did a great Thanksgiving meal,” and then you’ll do small talk for a while and then half an hour later you’ll be like, “I’m gay.”

2) Obamma sees this and he is like POW PUBLIC OPTION and writes a paper that gives all pepul inserance and all the apples and penut buter they want even if their moms say no. But then the GOP comes in and is like ARRR MONEY and the meedia is like ARRR COMUNIST becus they don’t really know what the word means. I do that sumtimes. Like one time I tried to ask my mom for a grapefr… a aple but I forgot the word.

2

Guide for setting up your gay friend Hey girls! We here at the Backpage know that every lady dreams of having that perfect “gay best friend” and setting him up with another gay man on campus. If done correctly, you can bag yourself two gay best friends, be the envy of everyone in your sorority section and take one step closer to becoming Carrie Bradshaw. We asked every girl on campus who claims to have done this to help us create this chart! Think of the guy you want to set up with your gay friend and ask yourself:

Is this guy gay? YES NO

3

5) So Obenna does with the GOP and the Dimocrats about healthcare in a room like Ms. Nelson’s class and things seem like they are getting better. But the GOP keeps yelling RAWR MONEY and Dimocrats keep not saying anything and Oberra keeps trying to get everyone to like him and Bydin takes a nap and Paylin keeps saying RAWR I AM CRAZY and the meedia keeps saying RAWR I AM CRAZY and kompanys keep eating Amerikas money and pepul are still sick and NOTING CHANGES AND NO ONE GETS APPLES AND PENUT BUTER!

5 3) Then Paylin comes in and says RAWR DEATH PANELS and Dimocrats don’t do anything and Bydin reads a US. 4) So Obanna says sorry and changes the paper so only some pepul get insurance. And the GOP says ARR MEDICARE and the meedia say RAWR COMMUNIST and Paylin says OBAMMA KILLS PEOPLE and the Dimocrats don’t say anything and Bydin goes out to get a hamb… a pizza

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From the makers of “Too Soon™” comes ….

Too Late™

….Too Late™ is the most jam-packed fun and cool way to manipulate the English language! And best of all, it’s easy to use! Go ahead and check out some of these super fresh ways to use Too Late™:

But is he at least decent looking, or smells ok, or capable of making eye contact without crying, vomiting, or cutting himself? NO YES But have you ever not not not seen him blowing a dude? NO I don’t understand

SET THEM UP!

what that means, but YES! But do you want to be able to tell all your girlfriends you set up your gay best friend? YES

Person 1: This pizza party is more convoluted than the Iran-Contra Affair. Person 2: That reference is Too Late!™ Person 1: You are hilarious. Person 3: I love you! Female 1: Do you want to Get Jiggy Wit It tonight, you know, Just the Two of Us in Miami? Male 1: Too Late!™ Female 1: I get it! You are jovially pointing out my Will Smith references are too outdated to use. I would now like to sleep with you and this other female… MIB-style. Female 2: Heeeey ;)

Fraternity Affiliate 1: My professor totally dogged on me for turning in that essay I bought online. It was a total Oprah, James Frey, “Million Little Pieces” sitch. Fraternity Affiliate 2: Too Late™, Brah. Fraternity Affiliate 1: No dude, seriously. I’m getting expelled. Fraternity Affiliate 2: Oh. Bummer.

dude. What, do you own the world? I guess I don’t just listen to what’s “cool” like you and your hipster friends. Should I be seeing some husband and wife electronic duo from Brooklyn who only make Kanye West/Justin Bieber mash-ups instead? It’s bullies like you that make up the toxicity of our city.

Student 1: I got two tickets to the System of a Down concert next weekend! Student 2: Too Late™! NOBODY LISTENS TO THAT BAND ANYMORE! Student 1: You’re such a dick,

Guy 1: Have you heard that one Jojo song? Guy 2: That’s a little Too Late.™ Eavesdropping stranger: Was that joke? Did you funny?

And that is just the start! If you buy the full Too Late™ Booster Pack, you too can start using the authentic Too Late™ with authority. Included are a clear set of references that should trigger a quick-witted Too Late™ response, including: Ricki Lake, OJ Trial, Britney Spears and Madonna’s VMA Kiss, Send $25 with shipping and postage today to: 423 E. Alder, Walla Walla, WA, 92024

Bop It, Pogs, Surge Energy Drink, Dotcom Bubble, Segways, iZone, LL Cool J, Kel (of Kenan and Kel), Special K, Lincoln/Douglass Debate, Crossfire, The New Deal AND MANY MORE!

Nurses’ log from Cheney’s fifth hospital stay Dick Cheney was recently released from the hospital for his fifth heart attack. The BP has recovered his nurse’s log of the eight hours he was there. 7:51 – While recovering, I first settled Mr. Cheney in the emergency ward, but he kept eating the cancer patients’ chocolate pudding because, “They’re too soft to fight. Weak liberals.” I relocated the ex-vice president to the east wing. 8:35 – Mr. Cheney has been recovering by watching a compilation he made me put together of “Hostel,” “Top Gun” and footage of praying mantises eating their own young. He is consum-

ing an increasing amount of chocolate pudding. 9:11 – Oh God, Mr. Cheney’s room has run out of pudding. Cheney is out of control. WE NEED MORE PUDDING! SOMEONE GET US MORE PUDDING!!??! His cries are like the screams of a thousand eagles! 10:13 – Mr. Cheney marched himself over to me, dragging both his IV fluids and a pregnant woman in tow, who he “caught consuming pudding.” I explained that the maternity ward gets what pudding we have left because they need their fiber, but he knocked me to

the ground and demanded the woman’s sonogram, a scanner and a computer with Photoshop. 11:25 – Mr. Cheney just presented the board of directors with his “urgent discovery”: a fuzzy sonogram of a baby holding a gun that Mr. Cheney is “very confident is in the maternity ward as we speak.” We invade in an hour. All female doctors have been fired. Cheney is now Chief Nurse. 12:55 - Chief Nurse Cheney has been personally delivering all the babies despite the fact that he has no experience in the field and that it is extremely un-

sanitary to touch a baby with puddingcovered hands. 1:13 – Chief Nurse Cheney has been shouting instructions to Mrs. Jacobson for the past thirty minutes. He just asked me to look into printing a “BIRTHING ACCOMPLISHED” banner. Mrs. Jacobson is currently 2 cm dilated. 1:41 – One of the baby girls that Chief Nurse Cheney had insisted on personally delivering was discovered to have been living in the closet, whereupon Mr. Cheney quickly relocated his baby under the rug. 2:01 – Chief Nurse Cheney autho-

rized new hospital legislation to allow “enhanced interrogation techniques” on patients who are reluctant to provide medical history. 2:21 – Cheney shot his colleague in the face with 50 cc’s of Botox. 3:14 – Chief Nurse Cheney has taken all the decorative pillows from the Maternity lounge, insisting that they were the last throws of the insurgency. 3:51 – Mr. Cheney has been dragged kicking and screaming from the premises, declaring his replacement, Mr. Blake Sheppard, a “one-term chief of medicine.”


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