Who's Jack 35

FOR THE REST OF US

ISS 35/APR

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/ ABOUT Who’s Jack is a multi media platform that encompasses a monthly London centric magazine, both online and in print, a blog style website and Jack TV which is unique in the way it offers click to buy opportunities alongside bespoke content.

This, as well as Facebook, Myspace groups, Twitter outreach, events, launches and experiential opportunities make Who’s Jack Ltd one hell of an umbrella.

Jack Loves You More.

/ FROM JACK

Welcome to our April issue. You may notice a lot of film related articles in this one. That’s because from April onwards Jack is broadening his horizons that little bit further and encompassing a decent whack of film within his pages. Really, it’s about time. So we hope you enjoy our new found love of the silver screen and as usual let us know your thoughts on it all or anything we should be covering by getting in touch!

More new things happening this issue and this month other than the lambs now popping out in the countryside and the daffodils sprouting up in the parks are our two new editors and our inclusion in online purchases from Urban Outfitters.

We are welcoming Ruthie Holloway on as our Arts Editor, her e-mail can be found as usual along with all the others on page 6 which goes the same for our new Fashion Editor (not that she is that new, she’s been doing fashion comment for us for a while but we feel she has now truly earned her Jack stripes) Leila Dante-Hartley. Welcome to your new roles girls and great to have you on board. Don’t forget that you can find more of Jack’s writing and writers online at our website www.whosjack.org keeping you up to date with all the things that happen so fast we have to stick them online rather than wait for the next months issue to come out!

Finally as previously mentioned, from this month onwards if you per chance purchase anything from the Urban Outfitters’ website you will come across a copy of Who’s Jack in your package.

What more could you possibly ask for? So that’s pretty much all of our news for now, feel free to e-mail us with any of yours.

Lu x

/ HOW TO GET INVOLVED

Whether you are a band, a brand, a designer or simply want to tell us about something, get in touch. General enquiries can be sent to: press@whos-jack.co.uk, contributions can be sent to: c o n t r i b u t i o n s . j a ck @ googlemail.com, finally, advertising enquiries can be sent to: tom@whos-jack.co.uk.

Who’s Jack likes a good collaboration, event or campaign. We can work with you or for you.

Get in touch.

/ ON JACK TV THIS MONTH Jack TV is looking for presenters and budding editors for a host of programs coming up over the summer. Get in touch with links to work or show reels by e-mailing press@ whos-jack.co.uk.

/ TEAM JACK CONTRIBUTORS

Faye Heran Creative director/events

Jo Bevis Stylist

Matt Hamm Music Journalist

Faye is a long standing Jacker who has turned her hand to many a speciality in her time. Nowadays events is her day job but creative directing is fast becoming her freelance role. See Faye’s direction in our Spring’s First Flight shoot page 36.

Jo is new to the team and a welcome addition. By 9-5 she works with Arcadia and by the evenings and weekends she turns stylist working with Faye this issue for our Springs First Flight shoot.

Matt is a friend of our Dept Ed Laura. He listens to and writes about music a lot when he is not playing football or watching films. This issue he takes a look at the return of the film soundtrack. Page 24.

# FEATURES / REGULARS

/ ISSUE 35 . APRIL / 2010

folloown us tter Twi t e r . c o m /

t . t w i kmag w w w jac whos

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#7. Jack...........................Jack Loves..........................................Minx Nails. #8. Music.......................Russ Chimes.......................................A master of the quick fire round. #12. Film..........................April.....................................................Marks round up of what’s hot. #13. Fashion....................Fashion for the Boys..........................The Umbrella. #14. Fashion....................Fashion Pages.....................................Move it. Big dresses, ready for the sun. #20. London....................Shopping.............................................It’s all about Seven Dials. #22. London....................Pick of the Month................................Secret events, soon to launch websites and where to eat. #24. Music + Film............The Return of the Soundtrack...........Has the shame of being included on a film soundtrack album gone? #26. Film..........................Actress Natalie Stone........................Natalie tells us about the acting bug. #30. London.....................My London.........................................Rick Edwards tells us his favourite haunts. #32. Music.......................Shy Child.............................................Spider monkeys and sugar lumps. #36. Fashion....................Fashion Pages.....................................Spring’s First Flight. Neutrals and naturals are the order of the day. #44. London....................Ciro Orsini...........................................Pizza Pomodoro and film production all rolled into one. #48. Film..........................Fuschia Kate Sumner.........................The UK born actress doing it in LA with a little help from her friends. #52. Fashion....................The Male Earing.................................Leila takes a critical look. #53. Fashion....................Leila Loves..........................................Scarves. #54. Art............................What happens Next is a Secret.........Donna asks will the ever-changing exhibition be a success? #56. Art............................Line Lienz............................................Ruthie talks to the street artist that has never sprayed a street. #60. Film..........................A Guide To Film Making.....................Who needs Hollywood? Mark talks you through how to make your own #64. Art............................Baked Beans and Campagne.............Ruthie takes a look at the House of Blues eyes and creator Johnny. #66. London....................Capital Cocktails.................................Callooh Callay. #68. Jack..........................Swing While Your Winning................Our brave writer spends an eventful evening in a swingers bar. #70. Jack..........................Supernaturals.....................................Alex asks, which comes out ontop? #71. Film..........................Jack’s Guide to Cinemas....................Cinemas that offer more than the view. #71. London.....................Pigeon of the Month..........................Clara. #71. Jack..........................Bucky Litch..........................................Time to come home? #72. Jack..........................My 2-4-6 pound life............................The rules of Facebook photography. #72. Music.......................Review One Liners.............................James keeps it brief. #73. Jack..........................Modern Day Dilemas.........................Friends forever. #74. Jack..........................I Love You For Loving Me...................Erin talks Gaga. #75. Jack..........................Sh*t of The Month..............................Just one long list. #76. Fashion....................Kredit Krunch Katwalk........................Georgie and James do superhero make overs. #78. Jack..........................Arthur Cadaver....................................The next installment in Marco’s segmented novel. #80. London....................Scene Stealer.......................................Trekstock launch and Jack Came Here to Party pics.

/ STOCKISTS

Size? - (in London stores) :

Beyond the Valley :

Number 22 : Paper Dress :

55 DSL:

Camden Blues Kitchen:

Old Queens Head:

Carnaby Street, Soho, W1F 7DW 200 Portobello Road, Notting Hill, W11 1LB 37a Neal Street, Covent Garden, WC2H 9PR www.size.co.uk 2 Newburgh Street, W1F 7RD www.beyondthevalley.com 22 Carnaby Street, London, W1 114-116 Curtain Road, EC2A 3AY www.paperdressboutique.blogspot.com 10A Newburgh St London, W1F 7RN www.55dsl.com 111 - 113 Camden High Street, NW1 7JN www.theblueskitchen.com 44 Essex Road, Islington, N1 8LN www.theoldqueenshead.com

Chateau Roux:

Shock and Soul:

Howies:

The Westbury:

17 Newburgh Street, London, W1F 7RZ www.chateauroux.co.uk 46 Essex Road, Islington, N1 8LN www.shockandsoul.co.uk 42 Carnaby Street, W1F 7DY www.howies.co.uk 34 Kilburn High Street, NW6 5UA www.westburybar.com

See an up to the minute list of stockists online, if you would like to stock Who’s jack contact:: press@whos-jack.co.uk

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jack Editor/Creative Director : Lu Orcheston-Findlay : louise@whos-jack.co.uk // Deputy Editor : Laura Hills : laura@whos-jack.co.uk // Advertising : Tom Ayres : tom@whos-jack.co.uk // Fashion Editor : Leila Dante Hartley : leila@whos-jack.co.uk // Arts Editor : Ruthie Holloway : ruthie@whos-jack.co.uk // Contributing Features Editor : Josh Spero : jpspero@yahoo.com // Contributing Fashion Editor : Aradia Crockett : aradia.crockett@googlemail.com // The Jack-Father : Edward Fitzpatrick // Film : Mark Williams : mark@whos-jack.co.uk // Music : James Lynch : james@whos-jack.co.uk // Comment : Adam Roan Henderson : adam@whos-jack.co.uk // Pick Of : Lu Orcheston-Findlay : louise@whos-jack.co.uk // Laura Hills : laura@whos-jack.co.uk // Stylists : Georgie and James // Faye Heran // Jo Bevis // Leila Dante Hartley // Sarah Brannon // Photography : Barry Macdonald : www.barrymacdonald. co.uk : info@barrymacdonald.co.uk // Kristoffer Myhre : www.krismyhre.com // Stuart Leech : www.music-photos.co.uk // Andrea Bono Tempo // Tom Mattey // Danika Singfield : www.danikasingfield.com // Richard Johnson : www.richard-johnson.co.uk : rich@richard-johnson.co.uk // Russ Burton // Alex Sainsbury // Paula Harrowing // Contributing writers : Marco Casadei // Jason Gregory // Lucy Hancock // Jo Hunt // Philippa Abbott // Erin Daniel Mckee : erin@erindmckee.com // Donna Marie Howard // Georgie and James // Rick Edwards // Alexandra Pullin // Matt Hamm // Illustrations/Artwork/Layout : James Lightfoot // Elliot Rooney : www.elliottrooney.com // Jack Walker : www.pandamilk.com // LOF // Models : Lucie Nontha //Kaye // Rosie // Hair & Make up : Takanoriyamaguhi // Soichi Inagaki // Cover Image : Stuart Leech Want to see your work in Jack? Contributions : contributions.jack@googlemail.com Thanks to : Henry J Beans, the lovely hot waiter at Sophie’s steak house, Minx nails, Millie at Urban Outfitters for coming through for us at the last minute, Ciro for his excellent lasagna and Paradise by Way of Kensal Green for providing a wicked location, even though some unsavory characters told them they worked for us and were doing a review . They weren’t and we are on their case.

Who’s Jack Ltd All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part with out the permission of Who’s Jack. The opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of Who’s Jack. Who’s Jack Ltd can not be held responsible for any breach of copyright arising from any material supplied. Who’s Jack, 93 Barker Drive, Camden, London, NW1 0JG

subscribe See the back page or www.whosjack.org for more information

LO

JACK ES nails

This month Jack discovered Minx and we will never be looking back. Minx is not a varnish it is a sort of covering that enables nails to sprakle like glitter or shine like metal and, if you want to wear the most intricate of designs. A firm favourite of Fergie and Rihanna we guarantee that now that we have pointed them out to you, you’ll spot them everywhere and covet them as much as we do!

Minx can be found at participating salons or why not treat yourself to a home visit from Teresa who did ours? Thank you Janice and Teresa, you have opened our eyes to a new way of life! www.minxnails.com www.nailsatwork.co.uk

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It’s a cold, raining February evening when we meet with producer, remixer and DJ Russ Chimes. So of course it would only be right for us to make him stand outside while he does his shoot for Who’s Jack. After he dries off with a few beers we sit down with Mr Chimes to learn more about the man behind the music…

Russ Chimes words: Laura Hills pictures: Stuart Leech location: Henry J Beans

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London born Russ Chimes

has been a DJ and producer for just over two years now. He was in a band at college and from there he went on to start making his own dance music, it wasn’t until later down the line that he actually learnt to DJ. ‘I originally only learnt to DJ so that I could play people the songs I was making,’ says Russ. ‘I never really intended to get in to DJing, other than the odd stint here and there on my own in my bedroom, it was something I just sort of fell into.’

As with a lot of other successful artists today, Russ Chimes credits Myspace for really helping him to launch his music career. After all, it was the remixes he was uploading to his Myspace page that landed him a remix of Ellie Goulding’s track Starry Eyed in turn bringing him to peoples attention. ‘People were seeing the type of stuff I was doing and then began approaching me and asking me to remix their tracks. I started working with small people and then more and more people heard about what I was doing and wanted me to work on their songs,’ remembers Russ. ‘I was forwarded the Ellie track about a year and a half ago and was told I should have a go at remixing it. I was then put in touch with Ellie’s label at the time, Neon Gold, and we went from there. It’s funny because I finished that remix about a year ago but it’s only just surfacing now.’

Russ is also a big fan of Twitter (@russchimes just so you know) to keep in touch with people and to get his music out there to new listeners. ‘In a way I think Twitter is taking over slightly from the Myspace thing. It just makes it so much easier to get in touch with people instantly. Dropbox is good for that too, it’s incredible to think that you can simply upload your music then potentially have thousands of people listening to it. That’s the most important thing to me, having people hear the music I’m making.’ And who’s Russ’ favourite person on Twitter? ‘Who’s Jack of course. Although it’s funny how you can be my favourites when I’m not even following you.’ (We’ve now rectified that.)

Russ has gone on to remix the likes of Frank Musik, Sam Sparro and Marina and the Diamonds, to name just a few

but says his favourite is definitely the Ellie Goulding track. ‘There is so much going on with her at the moment what with her being the Sound of 2010 and there’s so much hype around her that it’s nice to be involved. I’m pretty proud of the fact that I can be a part of it.’

Along with the status of being one of the hottest music producers around at the moment has come the hot new friendship group that Russ has now found himself. Think the likes of Starsmith, Alex Metric and Frank Musik.

A merry band of music men if ever we did see one. ‘I met Fin (Starsmith) about six months ago. We met through Frankmusik who is a mutual friend of ours and we all went out for a beer and got on really well. I only met Alex Metric for the first time a few weeks ago when myself and Fin went to see a gig he was doing in Hoxton and he’s just great. The crowd loved what he was doing. I chat to people like that online all the time as well. Anyone who follows me on Twitter will see the amount of banter that goes on between us all. We’re all a similar age and doing the same sort of thing so it makes sense that we get on so well.’

Boxers or briefs?

For now Russ has his sights set on releasing his own EP of completely original material. Music he describes as party music- somewhere between French house and retro 80’s electro sounds. Basically stuff that makes you want to dance. ‘My EP is long over due.

Hopefully it’ll be out very soon though. I never intended to get into remixing full time, the remixes just kind of took over but now I want to take a break from that to show what I can do on my own.’

It may surprise some people that Russ Chimes has actually been pretty big on the European music scene for some time now and the UK is only just cottoning on. ‘I’ve got a live show that I did a lot last year all around Europe,’ says Russ. ‘The type of stuff I’m doing is still only properly known my a small group of people which is why it’s good for me to do stuff like the Ellie Goulding remix as it helps me reach a wider group of people. The funniest thing is I’ve been doing gigs around Europe for ages and the UK is only just catching up. It’s nice to be doing gigs in London at last.’

For each celebrity we list, we want you to tell us if you’d like to shag them, remix them or silence them forever…

By this point in the interview a few more beers had been consumed and Who’s Jack decided to take it upon themselves to learn more about the man behind the music with a very special Who’s Jack quick fire round. We apologise in advance to any offence caused…

Would you rather do a remix of the Cheeky Girls or Cliff Richard?

The Cheeky Girls because they’ve got better bottoms.

Who do you prefer, Cheryl Cole or The Saturdays en mass?

The Saturdays, I like them, they’re cool.

Boxers, they’re more comfortable.

Would you rather never hear a piece of music again or be blind?

I’d rather never hear a piece of music again.

Ellie or Marina?

Erm… Ellie.

Chocolate or cheese?

Tough one. It’s like Ying and Yang. You need them both but I’ll say cheese.

Tequila or Sambuca?

Tequila. Everyone is either a fan of one or the other. I was very sick while I was at university after drinking too much Sambuca. Never again.

North or South London?

South, because I live there.

This is literally the best game I have every played.

Thank you Russ.

Now, Pixie Lott? : Pixie Lott looks a bit like Pat Butcher don’t you think? So I’d probably remix her.

Mika? : Definitely silence forever.

Jedwood? : I’d shag Jedwood.

Chaka Khan? : Remix.

Mr Hudson? : Mr Hudson needs to go away so silence forever. His hair is freakish.

Peter Andre? : Silence forever. Sorry Pete.

At the rate Russ Chimes is picking up followers (6000 Myspace friends at the time of going to print, that’s more than some high profile producers have after working on massively high profile artists), we’re pretty sure it won’t be too long before recognition of Russ’ work spreads across the UK. But maybe he shouldn’t bank on Peter Andre or Pixie Lott for references.

To download Russ’ remix of The Vanish and his Expressway mixtape head to www.eyeindustries.com

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film

words: Mark Williams

We all know Hollywood loves a remake or two but there are some films that should remain sacred. However this is very rarely the case. If someone sees money to be made in re-hashing the film you worshipped as a child, it shall be done.

A perfectly good oriental horror film isn’t going to make a profit in America without getting rid of those pesky subtitles and replacing the unknown Japanese actors with Sarah Michelle Gellar, so they’ll have their way with that too.

This rant has a point though, and that is this: Who the HELL gave the green light to a remake of Flash Gordon!?! It’s going to be directed by Breck Eisner no less, the man who was responsible for Sahara, one of the biggest financial and critical failures in cinematic history. This may seem like the misguided cheese-dream of a suited film-studio executive but is indeed on the cards for 2012! As far as I can tell it doesn’t even have Brian Blessed in the cast! Blasphemy doesn’t even come close.

Anyway, after doing some slow, deep breathing and counting backwards from ten, it’s time to tell you about what’s going on in cinemas this April.

If a crusading humanitarian documentary is what you’re after, then you won’t go far wrong with Bananas!*, out on the 16th April. Following a lawyer named Juan ‘Accidentes’ Dominguez as he takes on the multinational corporation Dole Food (boo, hiss etc.) and represents 10,000 Nicaraguan banana workers. Think of a male, Hispanic and non-fictional Erin Brockovich with a dodgy ‘tache.

The film sheds light on the banana farming trade in Nicaragua and the pesticides used which leaves many of the workers infertile, seriously ill or even dead. While the pesticides used on the farms in Nicaragua have largely been banned in the USA, Dole Food is alleged to have continued using them irresponsibly in other parts of the world. Billed as “the film Dole Food Co. doesn’t want you to see”, it will probably be about as popular with said food company’s PR people as Supersize Me was with McDonalds.

Not at all banana related though is City of Life and Death (16th April), a rather epic looking Chinese film set around the battle of Nanjing in 1937. Even viewed on an ancient and decrepit laptop, the trailer still suggests this is going to be a stunning film to look at. The battle scenes are akin to the shockingly real Saving Private Ryan battle scenes and the film has already been a big hit in its native China,

despite interference from the Chinese Film Bureau in demanding certain scenes be edited or cut completely.

things like plot and dialogue go out the window, just a more three dimensional kind of anime than we’re used to.

The Infidel (9th April), is a British film starring Omid Djalili, about a devout Muslim who discovers he was born Jewish and adopted as baby. Written and directed

by David Baddiel, it’s as yet unclear as to whether The Infidel is going to be a clever comedy or just a whacky fish-out-of-water, elongated sit-com with all the subtlety of a slap in the face. Hopefully not the latter, but then it does seem set up to be ninety minutes of Omid Djalili loudly trying to find a balance between his old Muslim stereotypes and a whole new set of Jewish ones.

Finally, a Greek film called Dogtooth (23rd April), looks delightfully mad. A darkly comic film about immensely controlling parents, the family that the film centres around seems normal enough at first glance but get more unnervingly creepy the more you watch them. A bit like Cheryl Cole, but with less make-up.

National sweetheart bashing aside, Dogtooth looks slightly morbid, very funny and certainly unique. Original, unique and unusual films are something we need on our cinema screens more than ever at the moment, lest we drown in shoddy remakes and franchises.

Another British film out this month is Crying With Laughter (16th April), about a Scottish stand-up comedian whose material is a bit too real for one audience member. You see, our protagonist Joey (played

by Stephen McCole) has a bit of a dark past, but instead of dealing with it, he has always turned it into material and used it on stage. Then, during one performance he tells a joke about a man he used to know, that just happens to be in the audience. This man is Frank and Frank doesn’t like the joke. But instead of heckling Joey with something witty like the standard “You’re shit!”, Frank takes to stalking him.

Fans of Japanese animé this month need look no further than The Sky Crawlers, out on the 23rd April. The film is directed by Mamuro Oshii, who made his name with Ghost In The Shell, and while this isn’t looking like quite the same sort of dark, brooding, Manga-based effort, it no doubt looks very interesting, especially with its shiny looking 3-D CGI. Don’t worry though, it’s not the special glasses 3-D that means

And one more thing. Ye olde Roman action adventure Centurion is out on the 23rd April. It really doesn’t need a mention in this film column, because it will already have the kind of marketing budget that Scrooge McDuck could swim around in. However, it does have McNulty from The Wire. Or Dominic West as he’s known in real life. But we know him as McNulty ‘cos Mcnulty kicked ass.

Related Websites: www.infidelmovie.com/landing-trailer www.bananasthemovie.com www.highfliersplc.com/cinema (For City of Life and Death, but not really a proper website specifically for the film) www.cryingwithlaughter.co.uk www.vervepictures.co.uk/dogtooth www.vap.co.jp/sky-crawlers www.pathe.co.uk/ For Centurion www.hmv.com For fairly comprehensive DVD releases.

DVD Roundup The Men Who Stare At Goats (19th April) – Acting is what George Clooney usually does between coffee commercials.

Thick Of It: Series 3 (19th April) – Just sit back and bask in the warm, sweary glow of Malcom Tucker’s brilliance.

The Girlfriend Experience (26th April) – Steven Soderbergh directed drama about a high-priced escort.

Carriers (26th April) - Four friends try to escape an airborne virus. They want to try taking the tube to work. At least they can run away from it.

Treeless Mountain – (26th April) – Thoughtful Korean tale of two sisters sent to live with their grandparents.

The UMBRELLA If evidence was ever needed to highlight men’s capricious relationship with the umbrella, one need look no further than the recent plight of 21-year-old Mohammed Bassat. The unlucky Lutonian found himself in court recently admitting to affray after he “brandished an umbrella” during an altercation with two men. Bassat had stepped in when the two right-wing thugs began kicking an Asian man, but rather than acknowledge his chivalry, the court slapped him with a community sentence and ordered him to do 60 hours of unpaid work.

Unfortunately, due to my not so close proximity to Luton on the day of the incident, I can’t attest to what the weather was doing. But if it wasn’t raining, then one can be sure that Bassat now regrets taking his umbrella out to the shops. In fact, even if it was raining he probably wishes he’d taken

Jason Gregory

FASHION FOR THE BOYS

something far more practical instead, like pepper spray.

It may be an extreme example, but for years now the umbrella has been the poisoned chalice of men’s fashion. Whilst a woman rarely leaves the house without a stylish mini stowed away in her handbag, us men prefer to face the elements with a level of stubbornness only normally displayed by a mule during mating season.

For example, if you’re not one of those men who attempts to avoid a soaking by simply crossing his fingers and running from A to B, then instead you’re a nonchalant walker someone for whom the rain is merely a challenging obstacle sent by God. And we all know men like a challenge, even if it means looking like a drowned rat at the end of it.

But fashion is dogged too, and with the arrival of April - a month famous for its sporadic showers - comes a fresh deluge of umbrellas aimed at reinvigorating this typically last resort accessory. Designers haven’t held back either this season.

Awkward and unreliable disposable umbrellas have been cast aside in favour of elaborate new interpretations on classic designs, ranging from Gingham check to London Undercover’s patriotic Union Jack Slim Walker.

Few could argue that they’re not eye-catching. Indeed the more outrageous and longer the design, the more likely you are to take on the air of a proper English gentlemen. But lets not get carried away, at the end of the day the old cliché still remains: it’s an umbrella and therefore habitually impractical. You can’t even break up a fight with one.

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MOVE IT

PHOTOGRAPHER : RUSS BURTON STYLIST : SARAH BRANNON MAKEUP : BELLA SIMONSEN USING MAC HAIR STYLIST : TAKANORI YAMAGUCHI MODEL : LUCIE NONTHA AT MODELS 1 ALL DRESSES : FELICITY BROWN

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Mint is a vintage shop with a difference.

Firstly it has some order rather than a load of uneventful rummage boxes dotted about and secondly it is themed.

This means that you will always be hard pushed not to find that vintage item you’re looking for. If it’s in, it’s in. A perfect example was the whole row of floral shirts we were wowed by on our visit.

Other very good selections at the moment are the shoes and scarfs.

20 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LM www.sevendials.co.uk/store/mint

Fred Perry have some great plimsols for the summer. We can see these with rolled up jeans on the deck of a boat somewhere...

Aldwych Suede (Shoe) - £90 6-8 Shorts Gardens, WC2H 9LD www.sevendials.co.uk/store/fred-perry

Just recently we have been debating whether to go back to the skateboard as a means of transportation and now that we have had a look in Slam City Skates our mind is made up. Now all we have to do is remind ourselves how to stay on the things. Remind yourself of your skating skills and head over to pick yourself up one with your discount.

Boards above form a selection 16 Neal’s Yard, WC2H 9DP www.sevendials.co.uk/store/slam-cityskates

Super Superficial do the kind of graphic Ts we love, less on the slogans, more on the images. This lucy cat is one of our favourites but don’t miss the rabit looking bunny option when you visit the store, it’s perfect Alice in Wonderland gone wrong stuff.

Great.

22 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LN www.sevendials.co.uk/store/super-superficial

Steve Madden is full of all those styles you have been looking for for yonks but never found any that were ‘just right’ well pretty much everything in here was just right so we were hard pushed to pick just one item!

That’s why you have two to feast your eyes upon.

Corley – £85.00 / Melin – £90.00 53 Neal Street, WC2H 9PJ 02074287428 www.sevendials.co.uk/store/ steve-madden

Fifi Wilson is like a treasure trove of jewelry, shoes, limited edition items and everything else in between. These yellow headphones were a favourite of ours though, firmly on the headphone bandwagon as you may notice.

Yellow Headphones £29.95 38 Monmouth Street, WC2H 9EP www.sevendials. co.uk/store/fifiwilson

Tatty Devine are always in a league of their own when it comes to the oh so fashionable perspex jewelry option. Truly the market leaders this Ashish Wreath brooch is a perfect gift for a boy, a girl or yourself after a hard evening shopping for bargains! It’s £69 reduced to £55.20 Tatty Devine 44 Monmouth Street, WC2H 9EP www.sevendials.co.uk/store/tatty-devine

The Summer months will soon be upon us and although I have been looking at certain people already in flip flops and vest tops and thinking they are a bit strange a pair of roll up jeans is perfectly acceptable for boys that want to show a bit of leg when the weathers not quite warm enough for short. These are a perfect example G Star jeans £89 5-11 Shorts Gardens, WC2H 9AZ www.sevendials.co.uk/store/g-star 02079390930

As our regular readers know we do have a soft spot for the humble London Pigeon - they really don’t get much love. So when we saw this Lamp we had to get it in. You can find this along with a load of other treasures at Magma Pigeon Lamp£58.99 16 Earlham street, WC2H 9LD www.sevendials.co.uk/store/magma

GET SHOPPING IN SEVEN DIALS

On Thursday 29th April Seven Dials opens late till 9pm to host it’s shopping evening offering *20% off at participating stores. The evening starts at 5pm and is a great opportunity to find some real gems without battling your way through the busy late night shopping streets of Oxford Street. In Seven Dials you will find boutiques, beauty emporiums, eateries and urban flagships that you won’t find on the average high street. Keep your eyes peeled for Seven Dials branded staff throughout the evening who will be around the area and ready to pounce on lucky individuals at random and present them with Seven Dials goodie bags! To get involved with this event and qualify for the *20% discount you will need to go to the Seven Dials website below to register and download your voucher. Here you will also find a full list of all the retailers taking part!

Seven Dials is one of London’s hidden treasures. A central shopping haven offering relaxed and alternative shopping alongside some of your old favourites all within a relaxed almost village-like atmosphere.

We popped down last week to take a look at what was on offer and decide where we would rush to first to use our vouchers!

Remember to save the date: Seven Dials Shopping Evening, Thursday 29th April, 5-9pm. www.sevendials.co.uk / Download your voucher here : www.sevendials.co.uk/standard

Unconditional is a brand that we were not overly aware of until our recent trip down to Seven Dials, however now we will be popping in often for their range of unusual blazers and amazing leather jackets and dresses.

Velvet jacket with open back detail £ 351 available in black, red and pink velvet .

16 Monmouth Street, WC2H 9DD w w w. s e v e n d i a l s . co.uk/store/unconditional

Miss La La’s is full of burlesque and glamorous looking silky and lacy lingerie. Have a seat in the sumptuous back room while you decide which two piece you want to take home... and this will take some deciding - we wanted the lot.

Chocolate box red bra £75, Briefs £70 18 Monmouth Street, WC2H 9HB www.sevendials. co.uk/store/misslalas-boudoir

This stud detail army green dress is perfect to achieve that military look that was all over the catwalks at fashion week. Firetrap also have some beautiful maxi dresses, perfect for the spring summer transition months!

Studley Fenchurch have a big mix of street and skate £280 studded wear. We love this ‘headlock’ T-shirt and the (suede headphones are the perfect accessories to dress) 21-23 Earlham match. Who wants in-ears? Not us.

Street, WC2H 9LL Headlock Tee - £19.99 www.sevendials.

Astoria Headphones - £39.99 co.uk/store/fire36-38 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LH trap www.sevendials.co.uk/store/fenchurch

With the Glee train firmly chuffing its way in to pretty much everyone’s hearts it is only a matter of time before dance wear is the order of the day. Get in early with the range of flattering and multiple styles trousers from Freddy. Corsaro Trousers £50 30-32 Neal Street, WC2H 9PS www.sevendials.co.uk/store/freddy

Kid Robot is full of delights for the home office, head and torso.

These ‘Munnys’ had us integrated with they range of colours and deviations of character. We’re going to get one to sit on our desk. Right after we buy their ‘Toy’s Will Kill’ hat.

Munny form a selection 19 Earlham Street www.sevendials.co.uk/store/kidrobot

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Jack eats:

Sophie’s Steak House www.sophiessteakhouse.co.uk 29-31 Wellington Street WC2E 7DB Sophie’s Steak House is the be all and end all in steak as far as we are concerned. A great clientèle, staff and atmosphere lend themselves to a brilliant evening. The cocktail list is extensive as is the different types and ways you can have your steak. The choice I love is that you can still go healthy if you want with choices of chips, baked potato or salad when it comes to what to have with your hunk of meat. Having said all that Sophie’s do offer other dishes besides steak. They have a fish pie that a friend of mine swears by and burgers that hard to beat.

We had a wonderful evening with a waiter that almost distracted us from our food, two steaks cooked to perfection and maybe one too many cocktails, we didn’t want to leave!

Jack’s suggestions this month include pricey to mid range to bargain depending on your fancy and your pocket.

The Parlour www.theparlourbar.co.uk 40 Canada Square Park E14 5FW

Ping Pong www.pingpongdimsum.com All over London

The Parlour is that little gem in the midst of a lot of concrete and glass down by Canary Warf.

Minimalist inside but not cold in feel the Parlour is as perfect for after-work drinks and snacks as it is for a full on 3 course. Amazing flat breads including an extremely generously proportioned smoked salmon and creme fresh option served as a perfect accompaniment to a glass of vino.

When it comes to dinner you won’t be disappointed.

Ping Pong describe their food as ‘steamed parcels of deliciousness’, this, by our standards is a gross understatement. After eating there once you’ll want to go back the next day, and the next. Probably not the best option for those of you that don’t like seafood as a lot of the menu includes just that. We enjoyed a feast of prawns and coriander dumplings, sticky rice, duck rolls and chicken puffs.. oh god, this is giving me more cravings.

Mflow is coming...

For those that follow our twitters and keep an eye on the website you will be no stranger to the wondrous world of Mflow.

We were very lucky to be given an invite code for 100 of you to join this revolutionary site however we might have mentioned this on our Twitter a few days ago and subsequently there are only about 15 left. Anywho, the promo code is WHOJ606 so if you get in quickly you might still be in luck. Mflow launches fully in a couple of months and will provide what is best described as musical Twitter that allows you to make money.. sounds good right? Go and sign up and see for yourselves. www.mflow.com

Fancy yourself as an artist/illustrator/graphic designer or alike? Rushes Soho Shorts festival is almost upon us and they are giving you the chance to be responsible for the front cover of this years programme. You have until the 3rd May to get your entries in which will be judged on their inspirational, innovative and technical qualities to name just a few! The judges will also be looking for artworks with selling capacity as this cover will be recognized internationally as the image of the festival. It’s a great chance and hey, if you don’t win you can still come down and enjoy the shorts festival with everyone else. The competition is free and open to anyone over the age of 18.You can download the Entry Form now at www.sohoshorts.com If you’re looking for an alternative way to spend an evening pop along to The Undgerground Rebel Bingo Club. Oh, sorry, scratch that, you can’t. This meeting of marker pens and numbered sheets is very much secret. You have to find out when and where they might pop up as these nights are indeed underground. URBC has quickly spread to Brighton, Manchester, Bristol and New York to name a few picking up a fair few followers and bingoers on the way. Their own statement being “If you don’t like drinking, dancing, loud music and shouting, don’t come.” If you do like these things however get to the website and register to hear when the next date and location are decided..

Glee vol 2, because a few weeks after Glee volume 1 we really wanted another one... No, we didn’t.

You had one or two novelty covers, we’ll give you that, but now you’re just churning out sh*t.

blowing

The Tattooing of loved ones’ names on one’s body.

Learn your lesson without the cost of laser treatment through Peter and Cheryl. Phil got it right in Eastenders, if you feel that strongly, just paint it on.

Running. Our Dept Ed Laura has signed up for a run for charity, there are so many runs for charity going on at the moment that the actual charity for this one escapes me. However after not exerting myself for the most part of 9 years I am expected to be her running buddy. Is managing 11 minutes any good?

“I can’t believe The Sex Pistols are trying to sell me butter” Stuart Semple Stuart Semple’s first UK solo show in 3 years, The Happy House, is at Morton Metropolis Gallery later this month.

Stuart’s contemporary, though provoking and pop art leaning paintings are a must see as it may be another 3 years after this before you get the chance! The man is already in high demand.

26 April – 29 May, 2010 Morton Metropolis 41 – 42 Berners Street, W1T 3ND

glowing Oh dear, poor old whiney David - “I want to move to America with my wife who is constantly chewing on a wasp, I don’t give a stuff about England any more” - Beckham has twisted his ankle or something similar and can’t play for England.. our hearts bleed. Definitely a karma enthused glow.

We weren’t the biggest fans of Ronson until last week when we realised he was really rather polite and was also involved in a charity we look fondly upon. Mark, we take it all back. Anyone that says excuse me when they push past you with drinks in this day and age is a glower

Trekstock, the charity that supports young people suffering from cancer became fully-fledged last week as they all trekked (geddit?) to Downing Street to meet Mr Brown.

Sophie, founder of Trekstock has done amazingly well to build the charity to its current status and raise such awareness. Both her and the charity get our warmest glow this month.

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The soundtrack has re-emerged as the must-by album. After dark days when being on a film soundtrack might have been an embarrassment or possibly even an end to a respectable career today the soundtrack reigns as king. Matt Hamm asks, why?

RETURN OF THE SOUNDTRACK When you think of great music in films, Tarantino’s hand tends to shoot up. The eccentric and ever changing US director loves nothing more than to nail a cracking soundtrack upon his films exterior. In fact in some cases, they are as popular as his movies (Pulp Fiction spring to mind?!). He bathes his striking films in a foamy sheen of cool, slick songs, leaving you wondering just how the hell you can get your hands on his iPod. On the face of it they compliment the scene in a film, but look deeper, and it’s Quentin sharing music he loves with an audience who love him; it’s a mix-tape on a global scale.

I think they really liked the spirit of helping a British independent movie,’ Jon explained.

So what of Freebird? Well the film is now available on sale in 24 countries, screened at the Berlin and Cannes Film Festivals and most impressively was the only truly indie British film to have an official Oscar entry in 2009. But this kind of technique to promote a film is nothing new. The desire to feature on a soundtrack seems to have suddenly raised its’ silver screened head again in the music world, like a cheeky meerkat popping up in a deserty African plain.

The film soundtrack, when done correctly, isn’t something idly cello-taped to the frame of a film. It’s a process that’s pored over and lovingly formed to enhance the images on screen. In many cases it’s a live orchestra watching a projection of the film, feeling the moment and creating an atmosphere. Jon Ivay, an English director, spoke to Who’s Jack about the ins and outs. For his debut movie, Freebird, he watched the full process unfold at the ever-famous Abbey Road studios. ‘To walk into the main studio at Abbey road and be confronted with a 32 piece orchestra and the relevant sections of your film being projected onto a huge screen so the musicians can get a feel for the dynamics of each scene was one of those life moments as far as I’m concerned,’ says Jon. Jon’s film, a sort of UK Easy Rider, used a two prong approach. It heavily leaned on the stirring intensity of a live orchestra, but also a ‘well known band’ the Towers of London, to record the theme song. Donny Tourette connotations aside, the band’s cover of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s, Freebird brought a certain attention to the film that otherwise wouldn’t exist. Jon felt it offered a chance for the band to show they were, ‘very capable musicians’ and ‘don’t spend most of their time fighting in shopping precincts’. Working with the seasoned producer YOUTH, Jon managed to get the attention of the Towers of London as the producer was also working with them on another project.

‘YOUTH know that the one big license of the movie was of course Freebird, and that I was looking to add a bit of Britishness…he briefed them about the film and showed them some small sections of the movie.

On one level, it’s the classic promotional key in attracting a wider audience to a movie, but on another, the music industry has made music in films trendy again. For a start, think no further than the sequel, Twilight: New Moon. The toothy flick that everyone knows and loves, starring him-with -all-the-personality-of-a-fridge, and her-who-blagged-theundeserved-BAFTA, saw its star-studded soundtrack rocket to the US no.1.

Featuring the likes of Editors, Muse, Killers and Thom-bloody-Yorke no less, the album knew its key demographic and knew that moany guitar music was what the ‘Twi-Hards’ desired.

Helen O’Hara, Empire Magazine’s Deputy Online Editor, totally agrees that movie soundtracks are in vogue again. ‘The phase of the uncool is over, where every Tom, Dick and Harriet were throwing their manufactured pop at any big blockbuster. Well respected and trendier directors, like the Spike Jones’ of this world, have opened up credible bands to be willing to associate with the soundtrack again,’ says Helen. And she’s not wrong. NME Award winners Muse have been tied with the Clash of the Titans film, whilst the ever amazing Karen-O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs had a massive hand in the soundtrack for Spike Jones’ Where The Wild Things Are. Helen O’Hara believes these opportunities open up an avenue for acts to work on something original away from their bands. Karen-O wasn’t the first, Radiohead’s Johnny Greenwood wrote the amazing score and soundtrack to Paul Thomas Andersen’s There Will Be Blood.

Greenwood’s impressive debut in film soundtrack producing wove his melancholic and often striking strings into the fabric of the movie with goose-pimply effect. Helen added, ‘Fair play to the artists if they want to get involved with a film score or soundtrack, and it turns out anywhere near as good as Johnny Greenwood’s!’

A worry that could rear its ugly head is the possibility of the music industry leaning on the exposure of the ever thriving film industry to promote more and more music. Helen doesn’t think this will be the case though, ‘A music label would never choose a film that would ostracise a band’s fan base. If you’re a heavy metal band and Jon Favreau comes knocking with Ironman you’d be interested. But if it was Sean Levy with Cheaper By The Dozen 3 the band would probably just leave it.’ So the fans still rule supreme in terms of decency and taste, which is reassuring that not all bands are money hungry industry whores, or as Helen aptly put it, ‘Radiohead wouldn’t be in Alvin & the Chipmunks 3.’ In fact there lies a further potential for smaller bands to break through by tying themselves to a popular film. Though only if the potential audience it’ll reach is right for the band.

Southampton three piece, Band of Skulls are one such lucky act. The beardy rockers (and friends of Who’s Jack), managed to have their song added to the previously mentioned Twilight: New Moon soundtrack. And in the company of such prestigious bands, I think you’ll agree, it’s no mean feat.

So what does this mean for Band of Skulls?

It means that their song, Friends, sat happily on an album that sold over a million copies in the US alone. It means that a greater awareness of the two blokes/one girl group is as guaranteed as Ashley Cole cheating on you. But most importantly it means that they’ve tapped into a ‘yoof’ market that gobbles up anything that’s Twilight related. More interestingly, it’s pushed the band to be bigger in the US than they are in the UK, which is something that very rarely ever happens…EVER. So three cheers for the British band’s management and three cheers for the growingly cooler film soundtrack…yay.

25

Nal

Stone

at ie

As part of our special film issue actress Natalie Stone took time out of her uber busy schedule to catch up with Who’s Jack at the Paradise By Way of Kensal Green pub...

words : Laura Hills | images Kriss Myhre make up : Luke Stephens dressed by : Urban Outfitters

27

It’s fair to say that being an actress was something that Natalie Stone was always destined to do and not only because she was named after her idol, actress Natalie Wood. ‘Acting has pretty much always been the only option for me,’ says Natalie. ‘I played the Artful Dodger in a school production when I was 11 and I absolutely loved it. I think that’s when I first realised I wanted to be an actress.

From then on there was no stopping me.

I remember sitting next to my Dad once and saying to him, ‘Look I can make myself cry’ and I forced myself to burst into tears. I was so proud of myself. I wanted to show him what I could do. I think it was at that moment that I really got the acting bug.’

As with all good actors Natalie started off appearing in smaller productions and local pantomimes but it was a stint in TV show Young Stars of Tomorrow, which was taking place at Sadlers Wells theatre, that gave her her first acting break. ‘That was my first proper audition.

I walked into the room and saw all these kids and I was so nervous. It felt a bit like X Factor or something because after you found out there and then whether you’d got the part or not. I kept seeing all these kids walk out either really happy or upset and it was hugely daunting. I got the part though so it all worked out OK,’ remembers Natalie. At the age of 18 and after receiving a scholarship Natalie went on to attend a local London drama school.

‘After I finished at drama school I went off and got a normal job that didn’t involve acting at all. It wasn’t long before I looked at myself and thought, ‘What are you doing?’ I knew I wanted to get back into acting and do it full time but I felt rusty from taking time off so I had to go back for a few lessons first,’ says Natalie.

After appearing in a few short films Natalie went on to study at the celebrated Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute in America where she received lessons from Oscar nominated actresses and directors. ‘I became almost like a little pet to them, they all wanted to help me,’ she says. ‘I was lucky people were so supportive of me. When you’re in LA and you’re starting out with not much money it can be really hard. If I didn’t have that support I don’t know if I’d have coped.’

Most young actors have ambitions to jet off to sunny LA, land a spot in the hottest film or TV show of the year and end up like the next Colin Farrell or Kate Winslet.

A dream Natalie says rarely works out the way people hope. ‘The best time to go over there is when you’ve done something in Britain that was really quite hot because it gets them excited to see you. Without that you’re just another wannabe actor. I remember seeing an agent there when I was first sorting out my visa and it was tough to stand out

because the American’s start off much higher up than the British actors because they have the accents, they have the visas, they’re just less hassle. You need more than just talent to succeed out there,’ advises Natalie. ‘On the other hand, there is so much going on in LA that there’s always something you can be part of. They have castings everywhere.

You can’t pass a cafe without seeing a casting going on so even if you haven’t been invited down you can still go and sit there and hope they ask you to audition.’

Most recently Natalie has been working on a new film by Al Pacino in which Natalie has a small part. So what was it like working with one of Hollywood’s most respected directors, producers and actors? ‘Unbelievable. The depth he goes to for his films is just fantastic. T he film is called Wilde Salome and is about Oscar Wilde so he went around to different places Oscar Wilde had lived to get more of a feel of what he was like. Al Pacino is a huge inspiration to me anyway, so working with him was a dream come true. He plays King Herod and Oscar Wilde in the film as well as that he directs it so to watch him do all that was incredible, it didn’t matter to me how big or small the part was.’ Natalie obviously made an impression as she is now in the running for a part in Pacino’s next film, however the film is still in it’s infancy so Natalie is going to have to wait till the summer to find out if she’s landed the part or not. ‘It’s King Lear and it’ll be shot in the UK which would be lovely. I’ll have to do my studying for that role,’ she laughs.

As if that wasn’t enough to keep her busy Natalie is also working on a comedy show with one of her friends, Ami Chorlton in America. The idea came to her after a producer was watching her and her friend interacting with each other and suggested they’d make a good comedy duo. ‘We’re quite Ab Fab together. We just naturally bounce off each other, we’re forever doing impressions and accents. We’ve written a few treatments, filmed a few sizzle reels and are now in development stages with a production company for one of the show ideas which is exciting. It’s quite liberating to act like a total twat and not worry about what you look like.’

As well as comedy parts, Natalie is also playing one of the lead roles in a comedy called Stand Well Back, she says she also has her sights set on some darker, more dramatic roles. ‘When I first read the script for Stand Well Back I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s going to be a classic British cult film, in the same way Lock Stock was.

I’d love to play an action role though, I’m a fitness fanatic so I’d love to do something where I can do my own stunts.

I’d also love to do something a bit darker, like playing a vampire. That’d be really cool.’

Being Natalie Stone isn’t all Hollywood glam and playing fun roles though. ‘I’ve been in some really low budget films.

Films where we’ve stayed up all night just to get the best shot. I remember arriving to be in my first film in the States and thinking, ‘Wow!’ but I quickly realised how unglamorous it all actually was. There had been a heat wave and there was no air con, I literally spent all my time sweating. We could only do one take for every shot because it was just too hot. One day we were there from 5am and we didn’t finish until two or three the next morning. The girl that was staying with me at the hotel worked in the wardrobe so she wasn’t even allowed to go to sleep, she had to work all night.

When I’m filming though I tend to run on adrenaline. It’s all go, go, go but when you stop working your body crashes and it all hits you.’

Living under scrutiny the way actresses do it stands to reason that Natalie must get nervous in auditions (‘The older I get the more nervous I get. I think as you get older you worry more about stuff, you have more inhibitions’) however it’s the things that surround being in the spot light that she worries about the most. ‘I was more nervous coming to this photo shoot today than I get about most auditions. I’m really self-conscious. I hate it when I’m told to act sexy, it makes me feel completely exposed. When people compliment me and tell me they think I’m sexy I have to ask them to explain themselves so I understand why they think that. I guess it’s so that the next time a director tells me to be sexy I know what to do.’

Natalie says if she could win any award it’d be an Oscar for Best Actress although she eventually has ambitions to direct, ‘But not for years yet. I’m always taking pictures so it’d be good to have something to put my vision in to but I’d need to be ready first.’ And as for her ideal leading man, well there’s a few to pick from. ‘I’d love to work with Robert Downey Jr, he’s so quirky and witty so if I was working with him I’d want it to be something quite light. If it was something more dramatic maybe Sean Penn or Robert De Niro or obviously Al Pacino. If I was doing something a bit darker it’d be a dream to work with Johnny Depp, he has such good character depth. So if any of them are reading this, you know I’m interested.’

If things keep going as well as they have for Natalie we’re pretty sure it wont be long until a few of those dreams come true.

29

THE NIGHTBUS A lot of my friends are incredulous at my love of the nightbus, but I maintain that it is by far the most exciting mode of transport in London. It’s cheap, it’s populated by unpredictable characters and it stops very near to my flat. I will always choose it over a taxi, and I will always feel smug about how much money I’ve saved (and often reward myself with a kebab from Kentish Delight).

Hassle pretty much comes as standard, but there’s also a heartening camaraderie amongst the passengers. And, at the time of press, I’ve only ever been beaten up on one once in nine years.

That’s good odds.

CAMDEN SNOOKER CLUB When Kentish Town Snooker Club closed a few years back, I was devastated. I’d spent many a happy hour in there, soaking up the gritty atmosphere (which was a dense fug of marijuana).

Now I am a regular patron of this superb club in Camden. The tables are in good nick, the owners friendly (the aged John is ever present, no matter what the hour, on hand to settle any disputes about the finer details of the ‘free ball’ rule), the football’s always on the TV and, best of all, it has a BYO alcohol policy. Many of my favourite nights in recent memory have started there. Some have also ended there.

HAMPSTEAD HEATH Having the Heath so close to my flat is a real boon. I’m there a lot because it is beautiful throughout the year. I go to the heath to walk, to play tennis, to play boules, to chuck around a frisbee.

It’s an oasis of countryside and affords some of the best views across London. I was at the top of Parliament Hill for New Year’s Eve with friends and sparklers last year and it was pretty perfect.

Having said all that, I still get lost on the Heath quite regularly. It’s too big. And the paths do look very similar (muddy; tree-lined).

THE JUNCTION This is the pub nearest to where I live in Kentish Town, and it also happens to be my favourite. Its convenience is only surpassed by its fantastic food, far superior to typical gastro-pub fare, and its genial staff. It’s cosy and has a lovely walled garden out back for the Summer months. And it’s also one of those pubs that every so often have an array of interesting real ales in kegs – I don’t drink ‘em, but I definitely like the vibe. I’ve whiled away many an hour in The Junction, just reading the papers or playing backgammon. I know how to have fun alright!

THE HAYWARD GALLERY I’m loathed to put this in, because I don’t really like to venture ‘south of the river’, even if it is literally only over a bridge. I’m from North London and my parents instilled in me an unhealthy disregard for the south. I should point out that they now live in Hampshire. Anyway, I’ll keep this brief - my one concession to ‘south of the river’. It’s my favourite gallery space in London. In fact, I’ve never seen an exhibition there that I haven’t enjoyed.

31

Collectively Pete and Nate make up Shy Child, the electronic duo from New York. Shy Child took the UK by storm in 2007 when they released singles, Drop the Phone and Noise Wont Stop and toured with Hot Chip, Muse and the Klaxons but have since been pretty quiet. Who’s Jack caught up with the Shy Child boys during their latest UK tour to talk Liquid Love, keytars and spider monkeys...

words: Laura Hills images: Stuart Leech

33

“Lets go on record and say it is not a sexual reference.”

You guys have been away now for three years. Where have you been hiding?

Nate: We’ve travelled the world a bit.

We’ve also spent the last year making our new record and that’s pretty much it.

Well, welcome back. How does the New York scene compare to the London one?

Pete: They’re not that different really.

Nate: No they’re pretty similar.

Pete: There’s more guitars in New York I guess.

Are there any specific British bands coming over to New York that have caught your attention?

Nate: We played last night with a band called Oh Children and they’re pretty great. They caught my eye and my ear.

Pete?

Pete: I can’t think of any, sorry.

Your new album is called Liquid Love, what does that mean?

Nate: I guess it depends on your interpretation.

Some of the dirtier minded people in the Who’s Jack office thought it might have a slightly sexual note to it?

Nate: Lets go on record and say it is not a sexual reference. Everyone loves sex anyway so I guess it might have helped but no, it doesn’t really have a meaning.

Pete: A theory is that it is a metaphor for the nature of falling in love. Love isn’t a hard thing, it’s flowing like liquid.

Not. Sexual. At. All. How has your sound changed on the new album?

Nate: We’ve changed a little bit. We’re not so angular, if that even makes sense? I like to think of it as grading. Not that I really know what that means either. It’s definitely more pop than anything else we’ve done before. There was a lot more song writing this time around, we wrote the songs and then made the sound to go with them rather than the other way around.

Is there anything on the new album which is going to surprise people, or anything you can’t wait for people to hear?

Nate: All of it I’d say. I can’t wait for the album to be out. If I were in control it would all have gone out for free by now.

It’s at this point that Pete starts munching his way through some sugar cubes that are on the table much to Nate’s disgust, stating he was acting like a ‘horse’. It was because of this that Who’s Jack felt it was only right to ask the following question...

Does that mean if you could be any animal it’d be a horse?

Pete: No, probably not. I think I’d rather be a spider monkey because they kind of look like people and it freaks me out. They’re like weird little people.

When you first launched in the UK you were very much put into the ‘nu-rave’ bracket of artists around at the time.

People like Hot Chip and the Klaxons who you went on to tour with. Is that a genre you’re happy to be put into?

Nate: Is nu-rave even still recognised as a type of music? I always thought it was one of those joke genres. We’re American anyway so I don’t think we really qualify.

Pete: We’ve played Fabric a few times before and that’s always fun. They have such a good sound system in there.

What with it just being the two of you do you ever get bored of each others company?

Nate: We’re pretty chilled so we get on well. Recently a few more people have joined the band so it’s not just constantly the two of us any more. We’ve brought in two girls, which is a bit weird.

Pete: We have to be on our best behaviour now.

Nate: I keep going to talk about guy stuff with Pete then I remember they’re around.

It definitely makes me better behaved.

Pete: When we were putting the live band together it just made sense to us to have some female vocals. The new album needed it.

What do Shy Child want to achieve that you haven’t already?

Nate: I’m good right now. We’re doing it all.

When you were touring with Muse you guys were the first band ever to play at the new Wembley Stadium when it first opened. How was that?

In the Who’s Jack office we’re pretty big fans of the keytar which you guys used to use a lot. Is the keytar back in fashion?

Pete: Pretty weird but pretty f**king amazing. We were talking about this earlier and saying how weird it was because everyone looked like they were really far away.

It was a cool experience to play there though.

Nate: I don’t think we could fill out a 90,000 person stadium on our own though. It was Muse that did that.

Nate: We got rid of ours. I had nothing against it but I got sick of it. I played that thing for five years but I don’t want to be known as the guy that plays the keytar.

Imagine being known as an ‘amazing keytar player’.

Pete: Also someone stuck stickers all over it and it’s identity shifted at that point and it was never the same again.

If you were going to do a tour that big who would you want supporting you?

Your single Drop The Phone is one of our favourites so we were wondering, who would need to be calling in order for you to literally, drop the phone?

Nate: They’d definitely have to be less popular than us. Probably my friend Johnnie Newman who does kind of pop/rock music. I love him. We’re going to make sure he comes to the UK so you guys can see what he’s all about but trust me, he’s definitely one to watch. Lets make him big.

You’re currently on a tour of the UK, how’s it going?

Pete: It’s been great, we’ve kind of been going all over the place. Obviously London, but also up North. We’re playing the ICA while we’re here in London which should be pretty cool.

Nate: I love London. I actually used to live here, all the way out in Kensal Rise.

Nate: Good question.

Pete: Probably if I got a call saying, ‘This phone will explode in five seconds...’

Nate: I get excited when friends call me.

Probably not excited enough to drop the phone though.

Pete: I once dropped my phone in a toilet and tried to convince the phone company it had just broken on me. The extensive water damage inside it blew my cover though.

Liquid Love is out now. www.shychild.com

“Is nu-rave even still recognised as a type of music? I always thought it was one of those joke genres.”

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Exhibitionism: The Art of Display The exhibition will be open this month on 3rd and 4th at The Courtauld Institute of Art, Somerset House, Strand.

Make sure you check out the Academy Hang project, which sees the back staircase of the Institute covered wall-to-wall with contemporary art. Don’t miss Damien Hirst’s second-ever spot painting, which he actually worked on himself, rather than getting his assistants to paint it.

Works include Harland Miller’s take on Penguin classics, Gerry Stecca’s impressive clothing peg sculpture and Laura Greig’s painting robot called ‘Nila’.

If you missed the April opening then make space in your diary on the 1st and 2nd of May. Opening times: Saturday 3 April 2010 11am – 6pm Sunday 4 April 2010 11am – 5pm Saturday 1 May 2010 11am – 6pm Sunday 2 May 2010 11am – 5pm www.eastwingnine.co.uk

Spring’s First Flight

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Creative Direction: Faye Héran Fashion Styling: Jo Bevis, Faye Heran, Leila Dante Hartley Photographer: Kristoffer Myhre Hair: Soichi Inagaki using Keihl’s www.kiehls.com Make up: Luke Stephens using M.A.C www.maccosmetics.com Eyelashes supplied by www.eyelashesdirect.co.uk Models: Kaye and Rosie Location: Thanks to Sian, Denis and Mark This Page Embellished top - H&M www.hm.com | Butterflies in hair VV Rouleaux www.vvrouleaux.com

Nude top - Religion www.religionclothing.co.uk | Maxi skirt - Topshop www.topshop.com | Bronze shoes – Finsk www.finsk.com | Rope necklace - Anthropologie www.anthropologie.co.uk | Copper cuff – Fiona Paxton www.fiona-paxton.com | Roping - VV Rouleaux www.vvrouleaux.com

Head dress & Birdcage –Prangsta www.prangsta.co.uk | Ruffled top - ASOS www.asos.com | Tulle lace skirt Beyond Retro www.beyondretro.com | Copper cuff - Fiona Paxton www.fiona-paxton.com | Ankle boots Ted Baker www.tedbaker.com | Tights – Jonathan Aston www.MyTights.com

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Jewelled necklace - Fiona Paxton www.fiona-paxton.com Webbed dress - Ann-Sofie Back for Topshop www.topshop.com

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Cobwebbed dress - Ram贸n Gurillo www.ramongurillo.com

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CRoo i

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rsini

You’d be hard pushed to find a celebrity who hasn’t eaten at one of Pomodoro Pizza’s eight restaurants across the globe. From Johnny Depp to John Travolta Pomodoro Pizza’s relaxed, private, homely atmosphere has ensured that celebrities and members of the public alike have come to know Pomodoro’s as one of the best places to eat, drink and have a right good time. And the man at the centre of it all is Ciro Orsini, the founder and owner of the Pomodoro chain, who is loved as much by his staff as he is by his guests, the proof of this being the pictures of him and his famous diners that cover the walls of each restaurant. Who’s Jack popped along to Pomodoro Pizza in Knightsbridge to find out more about this London institution... words : Laura Hills | images : Barry Mcdonald

T

he first ever Pomodoro Pizza was opened 31 years ago in London’s Knightsbridge by Ciro Orsini. ‘We call it the mother of them all,’ laughs Ciro. ‘When I first brought this place I remember walking in and thinking, ‘Jesus it’s small in here’. But it was the smallness, the intimacy the size created, that ended up being one of the best things about Pomodoro’s.’ And to call the restaurant opening a success is as much an understatement as saying footballers earn too little money. From the day it first opened its doors Pomodoro’s became as well known for its homely, intimate atmosphere and live music as it did for its delicious food (all of which is made from scratch including the sauces).

Anyone who was anyone at the time fled to Pomodoro’s, including celebrities galore. ‘In those days no other restaurant had live music so after nights out people would come to us to eat and carry on their parties. Pomodoro’s has always had an energy that encourages people to forget all the bad that is on the other side of the door. It’s a place to escape the real world and have some fun,’ says Ciro. ‘Even during the Falkland War we were the only place that was busy.’

However, with great success came a great amount of work and Ciro spent the first two years sleeping on a mattress on the restaurant’s floor so that he didn’t miss a moment of the action or a moment of the work. Such a strong work ethic is not something that’s stayed exclusive to Ciro either. All over the world his family now work in the various Pomodoro franchises ensuring that the magic of the mother restaurant reaches diners across the globe. ‘When I first came to London I started by washing plates in a restaurant’s kitchen. I could barely speak any English so there was nothing else I could do. I loved it. That’s something I try to instill in my staff. Even if I employ a manager I wont let them start before they’ve washed the dishes, learnt to cook and waited on the tables. How can they have any idea how to run a restaurant if they don’t know what it feels like for the members of staff they watch over?,’ says Ciro.

It’s this humble attitude that has led Ciro to make life long friends with the people that eat in his restaurants. Friendships that are illustrated all over the walls with pictures of Ciro, from when the chain first started through to now, with celebrities such as Johnny Depp, Paris Hilton, Stevie Wonder and Patrick Swayze. ‘I remember when John Travolta first came in. I was out of the country and the manager phoned me saying, ‘John Travolta’s here, what do we do?’, I told him to take his order, give him the bill at the end and treat him like any other customer. John comes in now every time he’s in London.’

It’s not just celebrities that Pomodoro has had a lasting impression on. Ciro tells Who’s Jack a story of an elderly woman who first came to Pomodoro’s when there were no tables available. Ciro offered a shared table and the gentleman she met while sat there went on to be her husband. Years later she returned alone and requested to sit at the same table.

It transpired that her and her husband had recently divorced and she was returning to Pomodoro’s to say goodbye to the relationship, like eating there was some kind of cathartic experience for her and a way to end a chapter where it had begun.

Like customers old and new Ciro’s staff rarely change. He’s had the same performer singing in the London chain for the past 27 years, a woman called Melissa who is the mother of X Factor winner Alexandra Burke. Alexandra herself used to sing on the Pomodoro stage and returned to the restaurant the night she won X Factor.

Given all the actors he knows it was probably only a matter of time before Ciro would enter in to the film world. A few years ago he started Coppola Productions with his business partner Yvette. ‘I was always meeting people who were looking for funding for films who would ask me to ask around and see if I knew anyone, so to me it made sense to start up Coppola Productions,’ says Ciro. ‘I was already helping out friends with film castings so it was a natural progression for me. We always look for projects that bring something to the people. We don’t want some violent film that just encourages people to act in a violent way.

The things we work on are interesting projects, things that engage people. A movie can be a message, it can be a way of life for so many people and that’s really important to me,’ says Ciro.

Most recently Ciro has cast Wake of Death with Jean Claude Van Damme, Number One Girl with Vinnie Jones and Merchant of Venice to name but a few titles. In between that and visiting all of his restaurants at least four times a year, ‘Other than the London one. I’m here more than I am at my other chains’, it’s a wonder Ciro manages to have any time to do anything but work. ‘The work I do is tough, just like any other job,’ says Ciro.

‘But I have a balance. I work hard and I definitely play hard,’ he says whilst smiling to himself. And you can’t help but have the feeling that he’ll never be short of people to play hard with.

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Fuschia Kate Sumner When Fuschia Kate Sumner was cast in a radio play at the age of 11, somewhere a penny dropped. ‘It was then I realised that I could do this for a living.’ Sure that she has not yet had her big break but at the same time very much looking forward to it, Fuschia never the less has a few big names already under her belt. Think Stardust, ER and now new comedy flick Pickin’ & Grinnin’ , not to mention being able to list a whole host of house hold names as family friends. So how is Fuschia finding the road to becoming a house hold name herself?

images : Danika Singfield words : LOF

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cting is something Fuschia tells us she has always gravitated towards. ‘When I watch a play or a film, the desire to be up there doing that is so strong in me. I feel that you have to really want to do something in order to succeed.’

After spending most of her childhood in the UK Fuschia uprooted herself to LA as soon as the opportunity arose. Initially it was just to spend some time in La La Land but she later decided to lengthen her stay ‘I had no plans to stay here as long but it’s a hard place to leave’ she tells us.

It is because Fuschia is out in sunny LA that sadly we couldn’t chat to her face to face, instead we had to use the marvels of the technological interweb and luckily, it worked out just fine.

Although now abroad Fuschia still sees England as her home ‘I miss England a lot, I really do. I miss the little things like getting the papers on a Sunday, Sunday roasts, pubs, newsagents, my school friends.’ There are plans in place to return one day although not for the next few years at least having set up a home complete with dog and boyfriend. Fuschia tells us that there are more differences than we would expect from upping sticks and moving across the pond, ‘I’ve come to realise that I’m too English to stay in America forever.’ Travelling between the two countries has often highlighted the key differences between the two countries, ‘I love London and it will always be my home. The longer I live here the more apparent the cultural differences are between English and American. The assumption is that because we speak the same language then we are the same, but we’re really not.’ When Fuschia does have the chance to return to her London roots she goes straight to Hampstead Heath ‘I grew up going there, it’s one of my favourite places. When I’m home in London I try to go for as many walks up there as I can.’

Fuschia comes from a host of talented parentage and family in general, her Mum, Frances Tomelty, has played roles in series such as Bergerac, Inspector Morse and Cracker, not to mention radio, film and stage. Fuschia tells us that Frances has not only played big parts on screen but has also played a big part in her career choice, influencing and inspiring her along the way. ‘I grew up watching her in the theatre, I used to go and just play in her dressing room whilst she was performing and then at the end of each night she would take me out onto the stage and let me play. Magical.’ Magical indeed, and clearly a swift way for acting to lodge itself deep in a child’s heart.

‘She was in the RSC (Royal Shakespeare Company) so we would spend summers in Stratford. I remember her playing

Titania, she was covered head to toe in glitter, that’s one of my favourite memories because she would hug me and then I’d be covered in glitter.’ Fuschia goes on to mention her grandfather, Joseph Tomelty, also a well-known actor and a big influence on our actress in question as a child and growing up.

When asked whether growing up around a musical, acting and creative bunch such as her family cemented her career choice she tells us ‘I feel like with all things in life, we tend to gravitate towards familiarity.’ Fuschia maintains however, that her career choice would have been the same no matter what surrounded her, it just so happened that she was born into a family of performers and creators, as Fuschia states ‘…it’s in our genes, it’s all we know.’ Fuschia has taken other lessons from her family over and above that of inspiration from the many theatrical and creative worlds that constantly surrounded her ‘The fact that my parents are successful in their careers showed me that it is possible to make a living being an artist.’ And that is precisely what Fuschia is setting out to do.

Fuschia is beginning to wrack up her IMDb (internet movie database) titles with Stardust, ER, Being Michael Madsen, A Plum Summer and Pickin’ & Grinnin’ all now under her name. Stardust was a small role but a large film, Fuschia says ‘It was fun, I’m only in it for a split second but I had a fun few days shooting and the set and costumes were just amazing.’ Now Fuschia is on for more than a split second though with Pickin’ & Grinnin’, we asked her to tell us a bit about it. ‘Pickin’ & Grinnin’ is a comedy about two brothers on a road trip to Nashville to sing in a talent contest, they pick up various eccentrics along the way, one of which is my character Shelby Rose Gibson who is also taking part in the talent contest. She is a country singer whose father owns a pawn shop. Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top played my father which was amazing. This was the best experience I’ve had on a film so far, there was such a family feel on set, we filmed in a small town about four hours north of Los Angeles. I laughed everyday, the boys who wrote and star in the film are hilarious. The film premiers at the Nashville Film Festival in April.’

Fuschia tells us she currently feels very drawn towards comedy ‘my last three jobs have all been comedies. I was always a little bit afraid of comedy because if it’s anything less than hilarious, you’re in trouble. I’m rather silly, as anyone who knows me will tell you, so comedy feels natural to me, whether I’m funny I’m not sure, but I definitely have fun with it. I’ve been taking improv classes which I’m loving, it’s extremely challenging, and scary. I keep finding myself working with these amazing comedic actors with lots of improv experience and I realised quickly that I needed to learn that skill if I was going to keep up with them.

My writing partner and I are currently writing a series of sketches that we hope to film in the next few months. We laugh for hours when coming up with new characters and storylines. I can’t wait to start filming.’

What with all this filming, much like her mother, Fuschia is still keen to keep one foot on the stage. ‘I love doing theatre, it’s a completely different process to making a film. If I could have a wish for this year if would be to be doing a play in the West End.’ For now though, before the West End beckons, it seems as though LA will have more to offer Fuschia before she comes back to see what the UK has to hold.

When asked what her ideal role would be she answers ‘Oooh, there are so many.

I’m currently obsessed with the TV show Parks and Recreation with Amy Poelher, if I could have a role on that show I’d be very happy. I have ambitions to have my own show one day, and if I can keep making great movies and working with talented people then I’ll be content.’

Fuschia’s own show might be closer than expected too. Already churning out sketches with her writing partner and setting up a production company with a friend it seems the sky’s the limit for actor/business woman Fuschia ‘I have a company with my friend Kate Finnerty called “Two Kates Productions”. We have various projects in the pipeline and will be launching a website which is keeping us rather busy at the moment.’

Fuschia feels the key to pushing on with a career choice such as her own and finding success is by keeping creative. ‘..it’s hard when you’re waiting for someone else to say when you can act and do your job so I find it important to always have my own project going on, something to focus my creative energy on.’

And with all that creative energy going in we can’t wait to see the outcome!

Fuschia’s Two Kates production site will be up in a matter of months and Pickin’ & Grinnin’ premieres in April.

Best of Luck Fuschia, it was a pleasure, now get yourself back out into the sunshine.

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HOW’S YOUR ‘EARRING? According to Wikipedia, ear-piercing- as we know it on men- became common in the 1960’s in the hippie and gay communities. This transformed into the amateur-piercing craze in the 70’s. By the 1980’s the trend was popularized by male musicians and later adopted by professional athletes.

What people may not know is that the history of the male earring can be traced back to Persepolis in 550 BC where carved images depicted earring toting Persian soldiers.Through the ages they’ve been used as status symbols for soldiers, sailors and tribesmen and even Shakespeare famously sported a gold hoop.

These days the earring is just another accessory for men, whether on the lobe of a chav, rude boy, footballer, trendy kid or ageing rocker. Now, they’re appearing on the catwalk.

For his SS10 show, JW Anderson sent models down the catwalk with huge tribal style and ‘JW’ anchor-like earrings in the one ear. This surely must be a rising trend as the monogrammed earrings appeared again for AW11, this time smaller and in keeping with the punk feel of the show.

Now any man can achieve this look with five nautical inspired studs from Topman for £6. www.wikipedia.com www.j-w-anderson.com www.topman.com words: Leila Dante Hartley Image: Alex Sainsbury

s e k i L a l ei r

L

r a C e Jan

Before starting her own label, scarf designer Jane Carr worked as head of women’s printed textiles at Versace after graduating from Central Saint Martins.

This must be where she developed her eye for the amazing colour combinations and bold patterns that make her prints so distinctive.

My favourite Jane Carr scarf is the Necker in a long lozenge shape with a multicoloured palette print in orange, pink or blue but there are loads of different shapes to choose from.

If you fancy something truly nautical go for the Carre scarf in navy and red rope print or the white and black shell print.

Perfect for your sailing trip/yacht voyage or just a jaunt around town. www.jane-carr.co.uk

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WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS A SECRET – BUT SHOULD IT BE?

By Donna Marie Howard

Imagine

that you’re six years old. You’re playing The Game of Life, and you get the Art Gallery status symbol card. You groan and roll your eyes because you had your eye on that smart Aeroplane card your friend just got. It is this image of the gallery or the museum as a stuffy Sunday activity that the new show staged by the Irish Museum of Modern Art (IMMA) will be shaking up.

What Happens Next is a Secret comprises their contribution to the spring exhibition slot but despite having already launched, the show is still uncertain in which direction it is heading. Works will be taken down, swapped around, replaced and relocated throughout the three months the exhibition runs to question both our perception of how images interact, and traditional curatorial practise. By usurping the ‘fixed’ nature of an exhibition and embracing last-minute decision-making, IMMA are essentially negating the opportunity to plan and prepare. Due to the nature of the ever-changing show, they cannot anticipate its reception, or even describe the enterprise in anything but a vague manner. However, this is what makes it so interesting: the uncertainty creates a wonderful suspense in which you could potentially hope to see a work by your favourite artist, find something new every time you visit, or wrack your brains trying to remember whether you have actually seen a certain piece before. But, most importantly, it gives the notion that the exhibition is alive.

One of the most valuable ideas offered by this method is, it seems, a new perspective on the relationship between art and curator. The quick turnaround and seeming use of the works as tools for experimentation puts them in opposition to one another. It will be interesting to see what stands out – will the most successful aspect of the show be a particular work, or a particular week?

Forethought to this show seems to have been limited to calling upon a few artists to make commission pieces and installations, the rest merely indicated by mysterious nose-tapping and an admission by the museum that the list of works is only comprised of ‘potential’ ones. As such, the ideas for curation do not seem too dependent on the pieces as a whole, but rather what aspects of them will be brought into play. Should the pace of the show be desired faster, a series of small rapid-fire works could be called upon. Should an ‘event’ piece be wanted, in comes the grand sculpture. The show essentially becomes a performance, a fluctuating synthesis of works and space presumably finalised in the nick of time.

The catalogue will also be in limbo until the very last minute: the first of four instalments has already been produced but its three successors will not warrant their own booklet. The second will instead share the first’s, being printed directly on top of the pre-existing text, with the third and fourth to later go on top of this, risking chance overprinting and essentially acting as a frustrating but intriguing distillation of the show itself.

So is the IMMA approach the way to arouse more interest in museums and galleries? In theory, it would certainly make the workings of such institutions more visible to the wider public, not least because so much more would be going on. The public would be invited to see more works more often, the risk of stagnation is negated, and it could reveal any number of interesting ideas when new works are juxtaposed or removed. In addition, the competition between galleries would be engaging and exciting, like a miniature version of who gets to host the next Olympic games. But despite all of these positive points, I can’t help but think that the practise would be severely flawed if applied on a grander scale.

Museums and galleries, by their very nature appeal because of their individual USP’s (Unique Selling Points). Be they focused on the larger themes or the more specific, each has their own identity, and by employing the traditional Temporary Exhibition, they can oscillate between variations upon this. They can hone in on a particular aspect within their genre, a particular artist, something later in the period or maybe earlier, or even related interpretations thereof. Indeed, the recent Kienholz: The Hoerengracht at the National Gallery did just this; although highly contemporary, the exhibition found echoes of itself in seventeenth-century Netherlandish paintings, smartly uniting it with the Gallery’s permanent collection and remaining a ‘safe’ if unusual

option for a show. You can go to the Tate Modern assured of seeing some of the best works of the twentieth century and beyond. You can visit the British Museum and feel certain you’ll stumble across an array of insightful archaeological finds. As such, you are equipped with a catalogue of expectations whose fulfilment you seek, largely reliant upon the institution’s fidelity to, or of course improvement upon, these expectations. It is perhaps when such a body pushes too hard at the edges of this perceived identity that it suffers; Guardian art critic Jonathan Jones’ quite damning review of the Wallace Collection’s recent Damien Hirst show essentially accuses the gallery of selling its soul to boost visitor numbers.

He sees the eighteenth-century decadence synonymous with the gallery’s name usurped by their embracing of work perceived not as an eclectic addition, but utterly out of place.

This loss of identity could well be a risk should the IMMA approach be absorbed into curator consciousness.

By dissembling the permanent collection – the very thing that forges this identity – transience reigns free. The constant movement and rotation of works would be confusing and if there is nothing that sticks physically, who’s to say anything would mentally? The role played by the Temporary Exhibition would be redundant, as there is nothing solid to supplement. On the most fundamental level, the IMMA approach undermines the idea of a collection – if works or artefacts

are rapidly borrowed, lent and swapped, the collection itself becomes unstable. The viewing experience could become more about a particular piece and where it’ll next appear, than the role of the curator and the experience of a particular space.

The possibility for works to overwhelm their spaces is by no means a bad thing, of course. It would be wonderful for more works to gain the attention they richly deserve, but the works already greeted with apathy could risk falling through the cracks more than they already are. At least by being on permanent display they are given the chance to contribute. By removing any sense of permanence, or even reliability I would argue, the biggest risk this curatorial method could pose is the generalising of the gallery. Not only would spaces lose their individual identity, they would blend with others akin to an over-enthusiastic child mixing all the paints so the result is always the same disturbing sludge green. tive; the beauty of having found such amazing pieces is that they are appreciated as such. By respecting their place in our culture and providing a platform where their value can be recognised, we ensure that they are able to assert their subjective independence, rather than becoming objective currency.

The reason I think What Happens Next is a Secret will be successful is then due to the fact that it can’t work unless it is a temporary thing. Monetary and practical reasons aside, the show has been hoisted by its own petard. It is trying to do and incorporate so much in its season-long

stint that by the time it had apparently fast-forwarded itself to April it would have most likely exhausted itself.

Yet it can still be argued that the method 55 invests theTemporary Exhibition with a lot more frivolity and life than most others. It embraces change and allows for revisions – something I imagine would be strongly desired by recipients of a bad review. So perhaps the IMMA approach stands as a potentially enlivening template for its siblings in the art world to follow. If more temporary exhibitions came about that altered themselves as they went along – a few drawings to replace a few paintings, a new set of photographs for the final open week – such thoughtful extra furnishings would place much more emphasis on the ‘temporary’. Visitors would be forced to keep their wits about them and really pay attention so a visit to a gallery could become more of an exciting event than a dull activity. Wouldn’t it be great if the V&A suddenly seized a fortnight where they whipped around any number of fascinating but ‘it doesn’t quite fit in an exhibition’ pieces before returning to the status quo? It would certainly shake things up a bit. However, until the day finally comes when getting that Art Gallery status symbol isn’t a kick in the teeth, we might just have to grin and bear it.

The Irish Museum of Modern Art’s What Happens Next is a Secret is open until April 18th 2010. A fully-illustrated catalogue, printed in four stages to echo the exhibition, will be available.

words : Ruthie Holloway | images: Leinz | layout : LOF

57 me to question my perception of certain figures of power, I find myself laughing when I come across it. His work continually maintains his signature visually, through the key colours grey, black and white, along with a distinctive hint of red, yellow or blue here and there. It is reminiscent of Banksy’s style, though more so in the impact of the statements he is trying to make. Leinz speaks in admiration of the ‘Father of street art’, not just because he (some would say single-handedly) took street art off the streets and into mainstream galleries but, more than that, says Leinz, “he opened up more thought on street art and now people approach it differently. They actually think about what it is saying.” Similarly, Leinz intends his work to start debate and cause reactions. Leinz was politely asked by the TFL to take down a piece of work depicting an oyster card from his website just recently. Was he disappointed about this? “It caused a reaction and even a negative one, but it meant something to me, in that someone had been affected by the message.”

THE ARTIST WHO HAS TURNED BORIS JOHNSON INTO A CLOWN AND BARACK OBAMA INTO A SAINT TALKS TO RUTHIE HOLLOWAY ABOUT CREATING ART TO RAISE POLITICAL AND SOCIAL AWARENESS, GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE AND THE BLACK CLOUDS OF CELEBRITY AND MONEY. It’s not often one can Google ‘street art’ and come across such a good but virtually unknown artist such as Leinz. What’s more, it is rare to find an artist whose work is reflective of street art, in terms of content and process, who has never tagged or sprayed his work on a street, let alone done it illegally. An artist whose work has been involved in Vivienne Westwood’s Active Resistance projects and that is Banksy-esque in its bold, albeit witty statements. Leinz’s work is just this and is making people stop and think.

Seeing Leinz’ work online was like one of those rare moments you have when something unexpected stops you in your tracks and then proceeds to hold your attention for much longer than anticipated. Struck by the humour of it and the inviting manner in which it asked

He goes on to say that there is a “persona that is public opinion that has meant

that no one really sits back and thinks about how, and what they are told by the media or government and other establishments is affecting them.” Leinz is adamant that his work is successful if it prompts people to actually think and react and not to accept so readily everything we see as a given: “People have stopped asking why” he says, “and they need to start asking again.” He also encourages us to think about our own judgements – if we think Boris is a clown, do any of us actually think beyond that? He is more concerned about these messages than the sales of his work: “Who is likely to want a picture of Boris dressed as a clown on their wall?!” he exclaims, “but if it makes people laugh then I have made my art accessible and people are engaging with it.”

The subject of money and the tempestuous relationship it has with the art world in general is a topic that Leinz feels strongly about. His Money Trap piece is a mouse trap made of fifty 5 dollar notes and is not only relevant to so many current affairs but also played devil’s advocate when someone put in an offer to buy the piece: Leinz refused, “I like the piece so I don’t want to sell it... and besides, they were not offering enough money!” he laughs with an ironic smile.

“They have become victims of the very things they rejected in the first place, in terms of making art to make money.”

Leinz is very much aware of the problem money creates for artists who want to stay faithful to their anti-authoritarian values, which is why he is such a big fan of artist, Adam Neate, whose work he has a piece of. Neate started out by leaving some of his artwork (on canvas) around the streets of London, so that the public could take it home for free. To give away one’s art in the current economic climate is a bold reaction not to mention a rebellious act against commercialism and consumerism, especially in a recession. Not only that, it also elevates the art and artist above and out of the black shadow of a money-making machine. Giving away his art in one form or another is something that Leinz would like to do in the future, “once I have created enough of it to do so!” He voices his dismay that the Turks, Emins, Hirsts and other YBAs (Young British Artists) of the art world have now “become victims of the very things they rejected in the first place, in terms of making art to make money,” far from their initial intention. “The key is creating a balance between earning a living and making sure the message of the art gets across,” he says.

Another factor that Leinz feels has affected the art world is that of celebrity, the names above being fine examples.

Many successful artists have now become celebrities in and outside of the art world. So much so, that many think this overshadows their art work. “Some artists still want to be the Kate Moss of the art world,” he says, “but if you want

your art and what it’s saying to be the focus and not you, then I think it’s possible. Success can be achieved without any sort of fame suffocating it.”

Last year Leinz had a show in Notting Hill which was timed to mirror another located around the corner from his own.

“It was great: you had one artist spraying a wall and my own stuff up in the gallery fifty yards away, so you had a constant flux of passers-by.”

Not only that, but the occurrence perfectly reflected street art’s acceptance into the gallery space and at the same time, its faithfulness to its roots - on the streets.

While Leinz’s style and ethos of work remain very true to those of street and urban art, it has never been seen on the street. Would he ever put his work on a wall? “I don’t think so. It’s forcing people to look.”

He would prefer his art was willingly engaged with because then people chose via their own free will to engage, but he says he would probably do a live spray at an event or on a designated wall. So unfortunately Boris Johnson as a clown will not be appearing on the South Bank at my request! Leinz is involved however, in one project that will definitely see his work on the street: that of the elephant parade in London. This is a project for the Elephant Family conservation campaign, where ceramic elephants, painted by 250 different artists and designers, will be placed in various streets all over London. One reason that street art

continues to thrive is largely down to the time artists dedicate to perfecting the technical side of it. Leinz has been practising for 6 years and most of his works consists of 6 - 14 layers to get the right shade and tones. “A lot of time must be put in to get the process right otherwise it affects the impact of the message. The two go hand in hand.”

As well as being an artist whose work makes people react and think about multiple political, social and cultural issues, Leinz is also paving the way forward for the next generation of artists and activists who are concerned with such issues and are starting to make art as a form of propaganda. “You are told something and you accept it, but do you actually question why you should accept it?” says Leinz. It seems that most of us still need to open our eyes and art such as Leinz’s, is encouraging us to do so. www.leinz.co.uk - www.3will.co.uk www.elephantparadelondon.org

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Unless you’re the world’s most easily pleased person, you’ve probably been to see something at the cinema that you thought was a travesty against your eyes, your ears and your intelligence. You may even have walked out, muttering to yourself or anyone listening that given a fraction of the budget you could come up with something much better.

Well, why not have a go? With the prevalence of digital video cameras and editing software that can run on your PC or Mac, it’s never been easier to dip your toe into a bit of filmmaking.

It is going to take an investment of time though, if you plan to produce something that people other than your friends and family will want to watch. If you have an aversion to spending your time in a darkened room, editing into the wee small hours, then you’ll want to find yourself an editor or it could be a long while before anyone sees the finished film.

However, it is an amazingly satisfying and rewarding experience to finally have that finished film in your hands, burnt to DVD and ready to show to all.

So, if this sounds like something that you’d like to try your hand at, let Who’s Jack guide you through a few of the essential steps on your way to becoming the next Kubrick, Kurosawa or Scorsese.

Know your medium

Setting the Scene

Starting at the start, watch a lot of films!

Immerse yourself in the kind of films you want to make. If you know what genre category your film is likely to fall into, be it horror, thriller or documentary, see as many films of that type as you can. Pay attention to everything that makes that film a part of its genre, from the dialogue and the way the camera is used to the choice of background music.

Unless this is all being shot in your bedroom, you’ll need to do some location scouting. We’re not necessarily talking Lord of the Rings scale, sweeping landscapes, but your film will look a lot more pleasing on the eye with some interesting, stunning or relevant locations.

Quentin Tarantino started out as another film geek who worked in a video rental shop. He would spend days re-arranging the shelves of films to his own genre preferences, whilst talking all day long to the customers about what kinds of films they liked. You can probably skip this step unless you already work in Blockbuster, but the point is he knows the language of films like the back of his increasingly chubby hands.

Work out a budget for the film. Are you going to need funding or will it just mean a quiet social life for a few weekends?

Films can be made on a shoestring budget and films can be made for many millions. You don’t have to be an accountant but you may need to plan ahead and work out what your main costs, if any, are going to be.

Pin down your idea Get a clear idea in your mind of what you want to achieve with your film. You don’t have to be able to envision the entire thing in your head before you’ve written it, but you will need to be focused. Who’s your main character or characters? Where is the film set? When is it set?

At the beginning it will be handy if you are able to easily summarise your intentions.

You might be looking for extra crew or you might want to pitch to potential investors, and if all you have is a vague general idea of what might one day be, you’re not going to inspire anyone to jump on board.

Get writing If you want to be in control of the project you’ll need your own script. If it’s a documentary you’re making then you’re probably not going to need to script out much dialogue but will probably be researching your subject thoroughly or arranging interviews with relevant people.

Lock yourself away, go to the park, or do whatever it is that makes your writing juices flow and put pen to paper. Take a look at www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom too; it’s full of advice, as well as opportunities for submissions of screenplays/scripts.

How Much?

Actors Unless you’re making a documentary, you’re going to need some actors. Do you know any such people? They can often be found working in temp jobs and restaurants all over London between paid acting work. Maybe you’ve got some actor friends happy to get involved for the experience on their CV, and as long as you’re not too much of a tyrant behind the camera, you’ll probably still be friends afterwards.

Although, you might have a very particular look in mind for one character, which no one you know fits. If so, you may need to put out an advert on relevant websites such as www.mandy.com and www. uk.castingcallpro.com or get in touch with some casting agents (if that’s within your budget).

Props and Costumes You’re probably not going to be re-making Pride and Prejudice but a few well-placed props will add authenticity, as will the right clothing for your characters. Making a film about 90’s acid house raves? Then you’ll need a few classics of the day, like the smiley-face t-shirt, which you might well find in charity shops if you have a rummage around.

Shooting

Putting It All Together

Clint Eastwood might like to try and do everything in no more than a couple of takes, but it doesn’t always work out like that. You’re probably going to film a lot more footage than you need. This isn’t a bad thing though, it’s necessary, especially if you’re making a documentary, when the ratio of shot footage against final running time can be as high as 24:1. Something has to be left on the cutting room floor but you might not know what that will be until you get to the editing stage.

Some say that the editing is the most important part of the film making process, and that even shoddy footage can be turned into a decent film at the hands of a great editor. Not that you want to put that to the test with shoddy footage, but you can just as easily ruin fantastic footage with terrible editing.

Hardware There’s a high likelihood you’ll be filming on a digital video camera so unless you have a friend who’ll lend you a camera, you’ll need to see what’s on the market.

Maplins or Jessops are reasonable high street stores to begin with, and both have websites on which you can read reviews of products to better inform your decision.

Will you need a tripod or a wide-angle lens? And you may well need better sound equipment than that which has come as standard with the camera, such as a boom mic.

And always, always make sure you have at least a couple of back-up batteries.

Failure to do so will mean that you will almost certainly get up at the crack of dawn, get to your location, find the perfect shot and then see the little red battery light flashing at you. Then you will swear loudly, stomp around and curse your own foolishness.

Software Once you have all that lovely footage you’re going to be needing some decent editing software on your computer. This can be a surprisingly expensive piece of kit if you don’t have it already, so you may want to ask around to see if you can beg, borrow or steal before you fork out for your own. But then, if you intend to make more than one film, it could be a good investment. Final Cut Pro, Adobe Premiere and Avid are all well-known and industry-standard editing packages.

Timing is important, if you are editing a sequence to music you may want to create a visual rhythm as well as a musical one. And if one day you happen to look at your watch, only to realise you’ve just spent 5 hours continuously editing with the curtains drawn and that cup of tea you made three hours ago has gone cold, don’t panic, you’ve just temporarily become an editing hermit.

Get it seen So, the film’s in the bag and now you just need to get it seen by as many people as you can. You can submit it to film festivals (www.britfilms.com/festivals has a fairly comprehensive listing of them), enter it into competitions or upload it to websites such as www.vimeo.com or www.dailymotion.com. Be careful if you go down the route of uploading it to every film hosting site you can find though, once it’s out there you have no idea where it’s going to end up. On, the other hand, it is the quickest way to get it seen by a potentially huge audience. The best thing to do here is to do some research and decide what road looks best to you.

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Finally, be prepared for criticism as well as praise. Having someone point out a flaw in your film may feel about as welcome to you as telling a mother her baby is a bit ugly, but if you’re going to grow as a film-maker you need to suck it up and work on it next time. Assuming there will be a next time. You might have found this whole film-making business an almighty slog and only finished it out of stubborn perseverance. But chances are, you’ve already got plans for the next one!

layout : Pandamilk

BAKED BEANS & CHAMPAGNE

Candidate: Label, House of Blue Eyes

Some call him ‘crazy’ and some call him ‘divine’, but whatever adjectives come out of people’s mouths when they describe the London-based punk-inspired stylist known as Johnny Blue Eyes, one thing is certain: his unique absurdity and his pushing-the-boundaries approach as a creative have made him a name that has shaken up the worlds of fashion and music, in both London and New York.

Johnny was born in Ireland, raised in Shepherds Bush and now divides his time between London and New York.

He has styled the likes of Ana Matronic, Beth Ditto and the Klaxons and the launch of the House of Blue Eyes in 2008 saw Kate Moss return to the catwalk, after five years off the runway. Johnny is not what you would call your typical fashion icon, but that is where the originality - and may I addwonderfully - lies. It would be wrong to write about such a well-known icon in the fashion and music business in a column such as this and not mention the ‘baked beans’ / struggle-on-theway-up period. The stylist concept and name Johnny Blue Eyes (although he really does have blue eyes) was created overnight in New York’s Chelsea Hotel in 1993, and saw the beginning of his fashion styling career, although it wasn’t until 2008 when House of Blue Eyes took off. “The House of Blue Eyes is essentially a movement,” says Johnny. “It’s very much inspired by Warhol and the energy of The Factory in New York in the late sixties and early seventies.” Amidst which a lot of performers, stylists, make-up artists and designers are part of.

At the House of Blue Eyes you’ll find a whole lot of punk, glam and rock and roll with a dose of anti-the-norm thrown in. The aforementioned catwalk show for the launch featured models that rebelled against fashion’s ideals and the usual stereotypes, witnessing a half-naked Alice Dellal, lots of latex and Johnny himself, in a black, latex

words : Ruthie Holloway image : Paula Harrowing cat-suit. This is what is refreshing, yet perhaps overlooked in Johnny Blue Eyes: his vision of ‘art + love + freedom = heaven on earth’ might seem ridiculous to most who are over-exposed to, and all too aware of the pretentious side of fashion. But for a man born in the late sixties, who has seen a lot and experienced a lot, in the ‘original’ hedonistic times prior to our (supposed) own, he has a genuine belief in these values that really shines through: a rare thing, especially in the current social and economic climate.

I saw one of his performances at London Fashion Week in February this year, and apart from being one of the most theatrical, slightly out-of-thisworld things I’ve seen at London Fashion Week, it is, I believe -for those of us who say, “It think I should have been born in the sixties or the seventies” - a little glimpse of just that. The House of Blue Eyes is music, art and fashion combined, and aims to inspire and invest time in ‘love, and hope and change.’ Amusingly but wonderfully indulgent in his brand and diligent about what it offers, Johnny Blue Eyes is a creative force that is unlike any other I’ve come across.

Launching soon (check the website for details) will be the House of Blue Eyes, Revolution and Love documentary amongst other events such as a cabaret show in Berlin with plans for a book too. His styling work covers predominantly figures in the music industry, occasionally crossing over into fashion and art (he has a string of styling feats he can put his name to, which include Vogue Italia, Clash and W.). He is currently working with the 15-outfitchanges-a-concert girl herself, Lady Gaga, which will precede a second visit this summer to Latitude Festival for another explosive punk-tastic catwalk show. So it seems Johnny’s House is one with many rooms, reaching out to lovers of all forms of art, music and fashion. Without his recipe of dedication to his outspoken anti-stereotypical ideas about beauty and glamour along with his wild exhibitionism, I doubt the House of Blue Eyes would’ve worked so well or lasted so long. www.johnnyblueeyes.com www.houseofblueeyes.com

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THE AS ESQUIRE’S 1950S HANDBOOK FOR HOSTS PUTS IT: ‘OF THE HUNDREDS OF BARS AND COCKTAILS OUT THERE, ONLY A HANDFUL REALLY MERIT ENCORES AND RE-POURS’.

OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS JACK WILL SEEK OUT THAT HANDFUL. FOR OUR HIT LIST, WE’LL BE EXPLORING BARS ACROSS LONDON, AVOIDING HOTELS WITH GREAT DRINKS BUT BANKRUPTING PRICES OR THOSE CHEAP ‘HAPPY HOUR’ PLACES THAT ESSENTIALLY SERVE OVERPRICED WKDS. ALSO, OUR MONTHLY GUIDE TO COCKTAIL MAKING- HERE’S HOW! WILL TEACH YOU TO MAKE GREAT COCKTAILS YOURSELF. Jack’s Hit List - There’s got to be rules.

These are ours:

Fun is fun but so are funds.

The cocktail must be under £10. No amount of interior design, shaker theatrics, poncy peanuts or pretty rainbows in glasses warrants £15.

Va va voom!

Cocktail bars should be va va voom glamour!

Diiiveeeersiiity.

We like rum. You might not. Each cocktail list needs a wide selection of drinks.

Access all areas.

No part of London is off limits. Got a suggestion you’d like us to try? Email us.

One martini, two martini, three martini, floor!

With our martini glass system we’ll rate bars on the following: bar, crowd, cocktail list, one cocktail, food and location. The more glasses the merrier and at the end of the year (or when we get bored/suffer liver failure) we’ll tally up the glasses and crown one bar top of the Hit List.

CAPITAL words : Phillipa Abbott images: Barry Macdonald

COCKTAILS

HIT

LIST :

Here’s How...

Bars are so different when comparing a Wednesday night to a Friday for instance. We visited Callooh on Friday meaning it wasn’t packed with the best sort. Travellers from Chelsea mainly looking for something a bit different – not ideal. What’s good is the Jub Jub bar, behind the main bar, is reservation only with the upstairs bar only available to a maximum of four. This means you can have a low key, romantic soiree whatever day of the week you choose to visit or a bit of madness with a group of mates. It certainly doesn’t feel Nathan Barley or Mulletsville – Callooh has just the right amount of trendy and above all, a good atmosphere. Strictly over 21’s and no hen/stag dos allowed.

Score: 4 martini glasses The cocktail list The very hot general manager totally seduced us with his cocktail patter – basically he created cocktails for us based on a short pop quiz: questions like ‘are you Wednesday or are you Sunday? Are you fish & chips or sushi? (He was hot ok!?

He could have asked us what the weather was like and we’d still swoon! Barmen should be hot!) We loved the results, the Ms Brabbins in particular, a new creation that the Ms in question adored. The actual Cocktail list is equally good, based on the London Underground – the Victoria line for sweet cocktails, the Piccadilly line for sours and the Northern for the aromatics! Extra special is the Jub Jub bar’s cocktail list which changes weekly and often features guest appearances from top barmen around the world! No wonder the aficionados love this place.

Score: 5 martini glasses The cocktail We went a bit cocktail loopy, it being a Friday night. I think we tried them all (thanks Sean!). They were all really nice, apart from the RaisinThe Bar cocktail which was rank. Apparently it’s the marmite of the cocktail world containing Pimento Dram.

The Jubber Jubber was pretty impressive featuring a Chatreuse meringue float that was blow-torched in front of us (alcohol + fire = crazy fun!). I was also particularly fond of the Alejandro Sour – a divine variant that adds apricot brandy and Pernod

Callooh Calley

Ok, I’ll admit it – I have a slight aversion to Shoreditch even though I know that if I went to another country and found something similar I’d love it. Put it down to the fact I’m up myself (I was born in London don’t you know) but also, to be fair, on Friday and Saturday nights when the city hoards descend, ‘the ditch’ can be pretty horrific. That said, I’ve also had some good nights there and the fact that every cocktail bar Jack has reviewed has told us to come to Callooh Callay – deep in Shoreditch heartland – meant it was clearly time to get over it.

Named after Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky poem and describing itself as ‘a playground for the wicked’, a visit to Callooh Callay seems the perfect Springtime treat.

The bar(s) First things first, despite the bar’s name this review will not allude to Alice in Wonderland. The bar is not Wonderland. It is a bar, three bars in fact, one private, one kind of private and one open to all. It does have cool décor - in particular the fact that the loo walls are covered in old cassette tapes- and the drinks do pack a punch but a night out here is not going to end up with you falling into magical tunnels or shrinking in size (so long as you stick to just drinks that is). Good music and lighting mean no matter what sort of day you’ve had (I’d had a rubbish day when I went), you immediately switch into a different gear, a sexy one!

Score: 4 martini glasses The crowd Do you know what? I think I’m going to have to do repeat visits for this category.

Make your own Cha Cha! Glassware: High Ball Ingredients: 40ml 42 Below Passion 15ml Crème de Peche 25ml Apple Juice 15ml Lime 1 dash Orange Bitters 1 small dash sugar 1/2 fresh passion fruit This drink is simple to make and all about the ingredients. If you liked, you could make this with loads of vodka, substituting the passion and peach liqueurs for juice. It would probably be all right but not as nice as sticking to the above. In a shaker, mix all your liquids together and pour into a tall glass filled with crushed ice. Garnish with a mint sprig and the half passion fruit. Cha cha cha!

absinthe to the traditional Pisco. My personal favourite was probably the Cha Cha and not just because of the name. Fresh passion fruit mixed with lime, apple and all sorts of posh liqueurs – so gorgeous!

Average cocktail price £8.

Score: 5 martini glasses The food Food appears to be a problem for us cocktail reviewers. We never seem to get round to eating any, unless you count the meringue float on the Jubber Jubber. A shame because Callooh Callay do have a great menu of bar snacks including the staple hummus and grilled bread, marinated olives and charcuterie board. Prices range from £2.50 to £7.00.

Score: 4 martini glasses The location I think I’ve said enough about Shoreditch. Suffice to say if you love Shoreditch you will like this bar and if you don’t love Shoreditch you will still like this bar.

Score: 4 martini glasses Total score: 26/30 Callooh Callay 65 Rivington Street London EC2A 3AY Nearest tube: Old Street/Liverpool street For reservations see the website www.calloohcallaybar.com Tel: 020 7739 4781 Hours Opening

Open seven days a week 5.30pm – 11pm Sun to Thurs 5.30pm – 1am Fri 6.00pm – 1am Sat

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As I stood in the dark filled room, my hands clasped around the fluffy head of a baby quail, I wondered if my virgin foray into the secret world of sex that had led me to Britain’s largest swingers club was slightly unconventional.

Flashback a few hours. It’s Friday night, 10pm and it’s singles night at La Chambre. In between vehemently justifying our motives to the taxi driver and fighting over the hip flask in the taxi, we hadn’t really made time to consider our position on the sex side of things. As we stepped over the threshold and my swinging companion Laura’s cold, clammy hand slipped into mine, I was suddenly struck by a nauseating fear.

What if they make you take your clothes off at the door? Are we going to get grabbed by both arms and strapped into a sex swing? Am I going to have to explain to my child in twenty years time they were conceived on a wipe down mattress in a bewildering sexual accident? ‘I don’t even drive’ I whispered to Laura through gritted teeth ‘I’m not giving them my bloody house keys!’ I looked up to see a portly man of about sixty striding across the swirly carpet waving enthusiastically. ‘I’m Terry’ he beamed, firmly shaking both of our hands ‘I‘ll be showing you round’.

Dedicated swinger and friendliest man on the planet, Terry seemed to be under the impression we had come for a National Trust holiday tour rather than a night of hardcore sex. As he proudly showed us the temperature function on the new sauna, he appeared completely oblivious to the long haired elderly

gentleman flamboyantly drying his genitalia directly in our sightline. His main concern was that we got the message that nothing was expected of us. ‘Oh ‘eck’ he said ‘Our most regular lass comes every Saturday night without fail. She has a drink, has a dance, gets her tits out for five minutes, then goes home.’ Whilst the girl sounded mildly deranged, at least these were comforting words. Looking around the bar and toe tapping to a muted version of ‘Journey’ (apart from the men walking around in towels) the place was a bit less ‘Boogie nights‘, more ‘Phoenix nights‘. Far, far away from the hum of Sheffield University’s Friday night meat market, I felt oddly relaxed.

It was then that Terry gestured towards the stairs. We softly ascended the ‘stairway to heaven’ like a troop of curators reviewing the latest avant-garde modern art exhibition. Following the ecstatic screams of a woman clearly in the throes of passion, he led us into the first (and smallest) of the four sex rooms ‘Nights of Arabia’ (complete with themed spray can wall art). Around us gangs of middle aged men stood holding their chins with furrowed brows as if attempting to decipher the artistic intention of the scene unfolding before us. A bald man in his late forties lay awkwardly on the leatherette mattress steaming up his glasses in his attempts

to pleasure a younger, more buxom lady, whilst an even larger fellow hovered about behind her. ‘So..’ said Terry in hushed tones as we edged into the doorway, ‘this is a spit roast… and that’s Jim there.’ There is something uniquely hilarious about learning a stranger’s name at the same time as watching them trying to have sex at an impossibly troublesome angle. I accidentally locked eyes with Jim, quickly furrowing my own brow and nodding in an attempt to express encouragement. I did wonder how this could possibly be erotic for Jim. A roomful of strangers silently, critically assessing your sexual performance really doesn’t strike me as the most arousing of scenarios, not to mention the fully clothed man a metre from your face providing a running commentary. Nevertheless, we quietly retreated from the room and into what seemed like a large cupboard.

Terry pointed to a black box in the corner with strategic holes cut into it. ‘This’ he said proudly ‘is the grope box.’

The idea is that one shimmies into this customised wardrobe naked and just stands about in there like a lemon waiting for a hand to pop through and cop a load of your goodies.

‘I can demonstrate if you like’ said Terry opening the door. ‘NO!’ we shouted simultaneously, ‘we’d rather imagine’ I smiled.

After a quick tour around the bar, complete with LCD on porn channel, stripping pole and the (mercifully) clean pool area he clapped his hands together.

‘Right m’dears’ he said, like a great Uncle popping out to fetch another packet of Werthers Originals before the snooker starts, ‘I’m just going to slip off down to the dungeons for a quick whipping with Judith. ‘If you’d like to watch, I’ll be in the stocks.’ And with that bounced down the steps carrying a suitcase full of equipment. Having spent the evening joking with Terry, we suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. We stood for a moment paralysed at the top of the stairs.

What the sh*tting hell do we do now?

We huddled in a corner like frightened geese considering our options, whilst the rotund crowd of towelled men beamed at us from across the room including a much younger guy with enormous teeth who seemed keen to get our attention.

I decided our best bet was to seek out strong alcohol, gather our nerves and get down to the dungeons.

As the door to the dungeons creaked open my eyes were met with the sight of our beloved Terry’s wispy haired naked arse hovering inches above the industrial carpet. He looked over at us and winked as a giant whip struck red lines through his puckered behind. One bespectacled man nervously sidled up to me as we watched. ‘Are you new?’ he twitched. I looked at Terry‘s red bum, gulped and nodded. ‘Oh that’s nice’ he said. We stood side by side for a few minutes as though waiting for a bus until he made his polite goodbyes and left. We were later told he has never had sex in the club. He only ever comes to watch. Terry explained that single men are only allowed in the club on a Friday night, and even then they are required to keep a respectful distance from the ladies. They are not allowed in any of the sex rooms unless invited by a lady and if she changes her mind, he is out on his ear. In the mainstream world of sex you might find yourself spending an entire evening avoiding the sexual advances of a man on the dance floor. A night out can often become a slightly insidious game of lure the fit bird. But for these swingers sex is about respect.

We ventured downstairs for a cigarette and joined a gaggle of women chatting and laughing. They beckoned us over and I sat down next a woman called ‘the Mermaid’, Nicknamed so because of her fondness for the water jets in the pool.

A stunningly beautiful mother of five children was there with her husband of 35 years, she giggled ‘Our kids think we’re really boring. They don’t know we come here every Friday night.’ We all chatted about the credit crunch, degrees and the pitfalls of the NHS, whilst all the time I absorbed the warmth and solidarity of the group. After a few glasses of wine one of the ladies persuaded the manager, Colin, a charmingly coy ex policeman, to show us his collection of ‘red birds’.

As we followed him up the stairs, we exchanged worried looks both desperately hoping this wasn’t a really funky sexual euphemism. Alas! His flat was dedicated entirely to the rearing of birds, with at least four bedrooms packed with quails, cockatoos and birds of paradise. The ‘red birds’ turned out to be cockatoos he feeds red food colouring to so they change colour. They flapped about overhead, whilst Laura, terrified stood frozen in the brace position. Frankly, it was bloody weird, but with his charming veracity and disarming enthusiasm for fowl (and the fact that he was donning his very own policeman’s hat) Colin was unrelentingly jaunty. He led us around his home, eventually leading us back to the club swapping quails egg recipes.

The atmosphere at La Chambre is distinctly unthreatening. Unlike a Friday night in Leicester Square where you might find yourself involuntarily ‘dancing’ with a strange man grinding his penis onto your back, the swingers scene is stripped of that sexual aggression. The people are polite, friendly and most importantly respectful.

They all know why they are there, because they all want to get their rocks off. The women are great friends. Tenacious and independent, they call the shots. My only proposition (almost slightly disappointed!) all night had been a man politely asking to join me in the playroom.

I declined. He apologised and padded into another room. The code of conduct La Chambre is not only wonderfully simple, but remarkably civilised.

Our night was coming to an end. Colin had told us that before we left we had to check out the pool. Another glass of free wine later we decided this was a fantastic idea. A friendly naked man lent us a pound for the lockers and I, Lara Croft, shimmied around one of the pillars to dangle my feet in the pool. Laura, attempting a similar manoeuvre suddenly lost her footing and fell like heavyweight timber, fully clothed backwards into the

swimming pool showering both of us in white wine. Returned from his whipping, Terry was soon to the rescue at which point we decided to cut our losses and just get in the pool in our underwear. In the blink of an eye, we were joined by a number of naked men who Terry kindly instructed to ‘back off’.

‘Actually…’ he said, ‘we’ve got a couple of undergrads in from Sheffield University tonight‘. ‘Oh really’ I replied in a higher voice than I recognised as Terry dashed off to find our contemporaries. Hair wet, tits out and surrounded by naked men, Laura and I exchanged wild stares. ‘So you’re swingers too’ said the young guy striding over to the pool. ‘I tried to get your attention upstairs. You do philosophy don’t you? I’m in your seminar group.’

All names have been changed to protect people’s privacy.

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words : Alex Pullin

The supernatural and the superheroes, we can’t get enough of them. From millions of teenage hearts breaking at every page-turn of the latest vamp-lit, excitement at the upcoming Ghostbusters films, to at least one man donning lycra with a cape and his pants on the outside at every fancy dress party, we love it.

So what have we had, what will come, and which out of vampire, werewolves, ghosts, evil villains and superheroes is the best?

2010 is supposed to be the year of the wolf. Werewolves are springing up everywhere from the films, with blockbusters like The Wolfman, not to mention Twilight: New Moon (but more on that later) and the remaking of the 1980’s film Teen-Wolf as a television series.

Looking at the werewolf it is hard to see the attraction. I know some people like hairy men, but the idea of having to housetrain your boyfriend doesn’t appeal.

Not to mention that the beast he becomes could rip you apart. Also you get the impression that it would be 12 stone of wetdog smell. Grim.

Of course fascination with werewolves has happened before. In the early 1980’s they were everywhere. From the American Werewolf in London film sporting some very dated special effects, to Michael Jackson getting all wolfy in his Thriller promo in 1985.

The Vampire trend seems to be dying out now. Perhaps as it starts to get sunnier the idea becomes less appealing or maybe we’re all just fed up of them. This being so, you still have to admit Vampires are probably the sexiest of the superhumans. I’m sure psychologists could tell us all about the teeth ‘penetrating’ the neck being symbolic of some very naughty things indeed, but in reality who doesn’t like seeing super-hot young pale people?

Plus they are always portrayed as slightly tortured. That’s hot.

Like the werewolves, vamps got their last

outings in the nineties, primarily with the Buffy series (90’s) and the Lost Boys film in the eighties. Recently, as well as all the Twilight films, we’ve had the raunchy TV series True Blood and teenagers everywhere have been nose-deep in the Vampire Diaries books, now also a TV series.

Obviously with Vampires comes the aspect that you never grow old. Perhaps this is why, of all the supernatural and superheroes, they’ve remained at the forefront of our collective consciousness. There doesn’t seem to have been a point in the last four decades when there weren’t vamps in popular culture.

But there are bad points to the film and TV vamps too. Actors age, vampires don’t.

This is a problem. There’s also the whole act of drinking blood. The Lost Boys presented this as drinking what looked like Um Bungo from a vase. True Blood went down a very bloody route with actors sucking on arterial sprays left, right, and centre.

Superheroes, on the other hand are always good and never bad. At least that’s the idea. At the turn of the century, comic book hero films were out everywhere, featuring everyone from Superman to Daredevil to Spiderman. Not all of these were good, a lot were very poor. But this is basically because they all follow the same formula; hero gets powers, hero loves girl, girl prefers superhero, hero is emotionally torn, hero fights and defeats baddie and gets the girl. The end.

Yes this is simplifying things somewhat, but it is none the less the pattern.

The next lot of superhero films is already on the horizon, with Iron Man 2 coming to our cinemas in the summer (the first one was actually decent, strange for a superhero flick) and there’s The Green Lantern, another comic book hero, coming out later this year by all accounts.

The problem with the pants-on-the-outside-of-tights brigade is the lack of dimension to a character. The only ‘troubled’ aspects they have are that their powers

are too much to cope with. Waa waa waa, I’m so sorry you just found out you can fly / run superfast / see through walls. That must be awful for you.

Evil Geniuses usually occur wherever the superheroes are. To be honest I usually route more for these guys. They seem to have all the fun as they don’t have to pretend to have responsibilities. Lex Luther may not have had the hair, but he was a billionaire. Even without actual magical or superhuman powers, the supervillain often possesses a genius intellect that allows him to draft complex schemes or create fantastic devices. Which is pretty cool.

Keep an eye out for the Hector Hammond character in the Green Lantern film or Ed Dillinger / Sark in Tron. Both pretty evil, but you can be sure that they’re more fun to watch.

Overall I would have to say that zombies are the real winners. Darling science has proved that, should a zombie outbreak occur there is nothing that can be done to stop their global domination.Your skin will go grey and probably fall off a bit. You’ll want to eat your friends and, if most films are to be believed, you won’t be moving anywhere fast. But that’ll soon be the norm, so while you might be against the idea to begin with… one little bite and you won’t mind so much. The only downside is that they aren’t particularly engaging.

Perhaps this is why zombies rarely make it into the mainstream anymore after a brief moment in the sun with Simon Pegg’s Shaun of the Dead. This is presumably because there can’t be any kind of happy, Hollywood ending to a zombie outbreak, as spectacularly shown on TV in Charlie Brooker’s Dead Set. So whatever you are looking for there’ll be something for you in the coming months.

The only downside is that with all this fantasy, it’ll only be a matter of time before Star Wars and uber-geek things become mainstream. Then we really would need a (super)hero.

Jack’s guide to Cinemas with more than a view Ok so you can get your 3 D glasses any old place now and the popcorn is always going to be a bit soggy, that cheese that goes on the corn chips that no one ever orders will always be re-heated each day... is it time we asked something more of our beloved cinema? Well some people already have and these three, in our square, 3D glasses clad eyes are the top offerings:

Bucky

The Electric (top image) The Electric offers special pot noodle type dinners to viewers along with that all-important bottle of wine. It also has a great intro mini film that always plays with the most loved Stephen Fry among many other recognisable faces telling you to do things like turn off your phone. www.electriccinema.co.uk 191 Portobello Road, W11 2ED 020 7229 8688 Everyman (middle) There are a few Everymans about so everyone’s a winner here, you won’t be hard pushed to find one in your vicinity. Food on offer here is more to the tune of sweets in jars and brownies with the ever present alcohol and plenty of two seater sofas, even if you do have to remove the overly hard pillows they insist on adding to them. www.everymancinema.com The Exhibit (bottom) The Exhibit is in Balham and offers all of the above when it comes to food offerings and drink. It also has a bar and if you want to do something different you can hire out the cinema with your own DVD for a minimum of 25 people at £20 a head. That’s pretty special.

12 Balham Station Road, SW12 9SG www.theexhibit.co.uk

PIGEON OF THE MONTH BREED | Common London AGE | 1yr 2 weeks LIKES | Being the life and soul of the party, when her boyfriend Roy puffs up his feathers for her.

DISLIKES | The humans that invaded her birthday party 2 weeks ago, fatty leftovers, being kicked.

FINDER | Laura, Battersea

CL AR A

DO YOU KNOW A PIGEON WORTHY OF THE PIGEON OF THE MONTH BOX? Make his/her day, take a snap of your favourite London pigeon and send it in to press@whos-jack.co.uk. We need a high res image along with your pigeon’s breed, age, likes and dislikes.

Litch

An acquaintance of mine told me she knew someone in Seoul and that we should go for a drink as he was really fun and we’d get on.

We went for a salad and a bottle of vino and talked about classical literature, sexually transmitted diseases and the Korean middleaged women. I went home, happy that I’d made a new friend and got mildly excited about some fun times ahead. Next time we met for a beer it took exactly 18 minutes to take all of my clothes off and it was at that point that things got complicated. I’ve realised that I’m not one for flings, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl and I decided last weekend, in a post-Mexican restaurant kinda way, to leave him forever as I suspect I wanted more than he could give me. Now I feel a bit lost in Seoul and sad that I lost my Seoulmate due to my propensity for dramatics and margaritas.

I am thankful for one thing though. The whole debacle has made me realise something.

That I don’t want to spend my life having short-lived relationships and friendships that disappear as quickly as they came along.

I want to go home now and reconnect with my lifelong friends and family and that is going to be the next adventure. I want to be there for the bad times as well as the good and hopefully be there when people need me. It’s taken me a long time to see this life as a little empty and now, thanks to a lippy lad from London who I met in Korea, I know that my life will be fuller back home and my time away will have made me appreciate what I already had. I now have to concentrate on making my final 11 months here as exciting and fun as I can, so at least I can go home with some tales of atrocity and weirdness, rather than thinking about the one I let slip away. All or nothing. I have bought a saxophone and I want to play in a band. The next transformation. In typical fashion I’m trying to move on.

I just feel really, really pissed off at the fact his last memory will not be of me, a mystical, wistful woman of the world, well-travelled, intelligent and a fledgling jazz great. It will be of me, fuelled by tequila, shouting, hollering and throwing a bag of Burger King chips at him. I hope he doesn’t forget me too quickly.

Where’s the fun in that?

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My two-for-six-pound life

By Lucy Anne Hancock

Crackbook. We all know it is an unbelievable waste of time. I can categorically say I have spent more time trawling through albums of people I neither know nor like than I have doing any productive activity. Last night I was on something horrendous like photo 609 of a girl two years below me at a school who I barely remember the name of, when it occurred to me how unbelievably forced the catalogue of her recorded life is so far. This particular photo was from an album entitled ‘country walks.’ You know what the youth of today are like. Always throwing on their fleeces and rambling gear and heading off into the countryside to take in the joys of nature. No? Well that’s because they aren’t. This particular trip was clearly meticulously planned. With full faces of makeup, Mulberry handbags, designer wellies and pre-rehearsed jumping poses. They had organised an entire day’s events purely for the benefit of Facebook.

For all the BBC news reports about ‘social networking’ it remains to be seen what exactly is sociable about the culture of the profile picture. Shivering your arse off on a street corner whilst a friend pretends to orally stimulate a wine bottle is not a sociable pursuit. I have been at what I like to call ‘shoots’ and others call crap evenings out where I’ve looked across the room, to see someone who, five minutes before was complaining about wanting to go home, suddenly spring up and come alive when a camera is pointed at them. They raise their drink in a mock ‘cheers’, throw their heads back in a flattering manner and attempt to represent some orgasmic state of joy.

My all time favourite photos are the truthful snapshots. Where perhaps the vainest (usually in an item of fancy dress) member of the group has decided to do something so stunningly contrived, but ‘crazy’.

This is usually something they would never do normally because they are too fucking dull ie. Pretend to sit on a motorbike or a make a call in a phone box (side splitter), but the unskilled photographer has accidentally caught the people in the background. They are all standing around arms folded, talking amongst themselves and looking at the floor waiting for their ordeal to be over. Meanwhile, the paparazzo in question takes her 900 proof photographs. ‘Wait wait, let me see, let me see’ and the subject totters over to the cameraman to marvel at her own hilariousness then totters back to resume her position for round 5 as everyone else tries not to die of hypothermia.

Frankly, most people’s lives are wonderfully dull. Even when you really are genuinely having fun, the person who calculatedly whips out a camera every five seconds is probably not quite as wrapped

up in the moment as the others. Facebook has made it impossible to eat a bloody scotch egg without someone thinking it is worth photographing. Ten years ago, if you had seen a person randomly touch a stranger or pretend to mount a lamp post in the street you would have assumed they had escaped from the nearest asylum. Now however, we are supposed to flick through an album finding the whole thing thigh slappingly hysterical.

REVIEW MUSIC

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LINERS James Lynch

Below is a list of ‘fun’ Facebook poses that I have never actually seen anyone do in real life.

1. The wide open mouth. No noise is made.

2. The kiss of a random stranger, because you look better from the side, not because you like or necessarily know the person.

3. The fake dance move (arms up in the air). Because everyone looks more fun doing that.

4. The half-pretty, half-funny face and my least favourite...

5. The point to nowhere.

BIN:

We’re all guilty. I only know how contrived it is because I too am incredibly vain. I, Narcissus, have actually been known to stalk myself. Why? Because I know how important it is to other people. Resist the paparazzi and you are the DUFF, go with it and a tiny piece of your self respect drops away. I have chosen somewhere in the middle - the awkward funny face. Trying to look pretty is too much of a risk, but I don’t have the energy for the theatrics, so I tend to just nestle my chin into my neck or cross my eyes and regret it later.

Worryingly though, I caught myself nervously pretending to laugh at someone’s story the other day because I was aware I was being photographed, not because it was remotely funny. I think the Facebook paparazzi might have finally got me.

Daisy Dares You Number One Enemy (Feat. Chipmunk) “Hey, we both have stupid names and release inane mainstream representations of our respective genres, we should sooo do a collaboration.” “Yeah, cool.” “Great and don’t worry about saying anything meaningful ‘cos you’ll only be rapping for three seconds…” www.daisydaresyou.com BURN: Foals Spanish Sahara If ever there was a barometer to measure if a band has matured it would be facial hair and judging by the fine amount of man fuzz on lead singer Yannis’ upper lip and cheeks, Foals have definitely grown up and this new epic number proves it. www.foals.co.uk BOOM: Broken Bells The High Road Once again Danger Mouse has stepped in from the shadows to save us, his sidekick for this incarnation is James Mercer from The Shins and together they have made what pop music in 2010 should sound like if only everyone wasn’t so desperately clamouring to copy everyone else. www.brokenbells.com

Some of our favourite offerings are below.

They range from trendy, to quite pricey seeing as you are going to give one away to Argos Chic.

1. Best Friends Necklace. Anna Lou of London £25.00 www.annalouoflondon.com 2. Broken Crown Friendship Necklace. Juicy Couture. £45.00 www.juicycouture.com 4. Forever Friends Sterling Silver Split Pendant Set. £14.99 www.argos.co.uk 4. Bestie Necklace. Fred Flare. £8.00 www.fredflare.com

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modern day dilemmas the friends forever necklace So you knew how to make a friendship bracelet when you were 10, you were one of those really clever kids that could make them have patterns and be about an inch wide. Maybe you could even spell your chosen special friends name.

Chances are, even if you were a whizz at them you can’t remember how to make them now (if you do however, send us one, we don’t have many friends).

As we all know when we grow up our friend circles diminish, no longer are we forced into classes with people we abhor later to become great friends with the offender. Or go out with one of your friends, only to have 4 of theirs turn up that you instantly make your own. Things aren’t that easy once you get past a certain age (that age, to pin point it is 22/23, or as soon as you leave uni), those of you reading this and screwing up your perfectly un-wrinkled foreheads in confusion, enjoy it while you can, in a couple of years you will understand this column perfectly.

So onto the friends you 24+ have left. I am taking a wild stab in the dark here and will say that of your close friends (and we are not counting the people on your Facebook or the ones that follow you on Twitter, or even the ones you see in a club every now and again, say hi to and then walk away) you probably have about 4 from school, 5 from uni and maybe 1-2 if you’re lucky from work. Of these you probably find that whenever you see school friends it ends up in an argument, whenever you see uni friends you get sh*t faced and whenever you see your work friends you talk about work. Christ, what a happy friend world we live in!

Well lucky an old friend has been brought back to shake all that up a bit. The friends forever necklace!

This is like a sex aid for the dying/boring friend circles. It will create favourites, arguments, jealousy and new camaraderie. You’re probably debating even now who would be your chosen special one to receive such a gesture. What with a vast number of high street shops currently churning out these beauties you might be able to con some of your friends into thinking they are just as special as the other three friends you gave different necklaces to. Just be sure to wear the right one whilst seeing the right person.

If you are hoping to be a receiver of the friends forever necklace you might hit it lucky if a wealthier friend decides to adorn you with their branding jewelry. All in all a great new sidetrack to brighten up those increasingly dull ‘urban family’ circles.

Let the childish best friend manipulating games commence!

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I LOVE YOU FOR LOVING ME words : Erin Daniel Mckee image : Andrea Bono Tempo

Lady Blah Blah Boring.

Lady Gaga, the next Mcdonna? I think not. Since she has emerged as a media darling and ‘revolutionary’ pop artiste, I have wanted to embrace her. I tried to convince myself that she really was a boundary-breaking breath of fresh air.

However, I always had a couple of the voices in my head doubting.

I then read her ‘topless’ cover story in Q magazine. It spelled out everything I really feel. She is a pretentious, derivative novelty act. It is no wonder she does so few interviews as she doesn’t know when to put a glittery sock in it. “I wanna make people be free” , whilst arguing with the Q photography team about her having a dildo featured prominently in her shoot.

Yes, she has a very informed opinion on popular culture and its innovators; but sadly for her she is not one of them. She sounds like a first year art or fashion student pontificating pink sugary bullsh*t.

Yes, Mcdonna was influenced by much the same underground scenes…when they were undergound. She exploited them perfectly. Blah Blah sings mediocre songs that could be on compilations with Ace Of Base, Mr Vain and Aqua. Her imagery is all too very contrived.

Anyway. I am indeed being a hater. I look forward to a future tour with Cheeky Girls, Whigfield and support act Lady Who?...

The Perfect Man? I was recently informed by mutual friends that Tom Ford, several years ago or so, banished from his lips a bad word about anyone. He refused to utter even an acidically witty quip, no matter how easy it would be. His golden karma has certainly paid off. The guy who saved Gucci, YSL and his own fashion label is discreetly perfect. No drug, sex or murder scandals.

He is devastatingly handsome, has been with the same not-as-handsome, but intellectual partner for zonks and gets his first feature film nominated for a slew of Oscars! This, all in the most cynical of times. What a guy! Hats off to this brilliant demi-god. Someone to aspire to on many levels.

Cheapness and Beauty.

I had a whirlwind night the other week.

Having recently come back to London, the city I love, escaping the charmlessness of Italy. Setting out with icon Mica Paris we

hit Nottting Hill’s Supper Club for my PR friend Naihala Lasharie’s birthday party.

The place is amazing – the perfect combo of London quirkiness with rotund drag performers, complete New York chic and the coolest of the cool of West London.

Later we hit up an OK magazine/ Living TV party at the SoHo Sanctum Hotel. A very TV-showbizzy event, on the roof, complete with jacuzzi frolics. We were soon joined by my friend Calum Best and headed off to another birthday, this time at the refined exclusivity of The Purple Bar in the Sanderson hotel for our friend Assia Webster’s birthday party.

Calum and I later headed to Boujis for a nightcap. What struck me indelibly was the way people reacted to Calum the whole evening. Perfect strangers talking about his late father ad nauseum. I was offended by the cheek of it all. Calum, a real gent and used to this, responded with perfect manners and not a hint of impatience. This reminded me very much of going out with my friend Joaquin Phoenix , brother of the late River. Everywhere we went people would either say they thought he, Joaquin, was dead, confusing him with his brother or asking him how it felt to watch River die. The night was enlightening despite the cheap manners and beauty it was wrapped in.

SH*T

OF THE MONTH This month we have a great big list for you and then some words about door-to-door salesmen and religious ‘salesmen’ from Cassie.

The internet freezing .

Barcklays bank boys who flirt with you over the phone and still don’t up your overdraft.

Switching to Capital Radio only to find they still play the same songs as radio 1 just more frequently, no we’re not going to listen to Radio 6 because a) it’s soon for the chop and b) it is no good for day time listening, much more an evening channel we would say.

Eating too much at restaurants that are too good. Jut never go for 3 courses, it’s damaging.

Oyster cards running out when you’re trying to get on the bus or when it is half term or tourist influx time and no one knows how to use top up machines. Why don’t the coin machines for the bus offer to top up Oysters and why is there not a fast and slow track in the tube for people that actually know how to use the machines and for people that just stare at them??

Back streets of Soho, why do they always smell of piss and why are they such a labyrinth however much time you spend around there?

Dropping food down on yourself at work when you were planning on going straight out that evening.

Kristen Stewart and R-Patz announcing their togetherness. We don’t like it. Not.One.Bit. The people already in flipflops and T shirts when the sun only came out for one hour in the morning one day.

Having no milk.

Not receiving New Moon when we had been assured that the PR put it in the post 3 days ago.

No shops stock the poo coloured brown nail varnish we see everywhere, it’s all over the catwalks don’t you know? It’s actually called mink muffs, now all we need to do is find it. We actually think poo brown is a much more appropriate name, lets call a spade a spade.

And now a word from Cassie Powney who sent us her thoughts on Door-to-Door salesman.

I think I’ve had a sign on my door this week that reads: ‘Please knock on and try and take my money.’ Not muggers (well...) but people with clipboards who clearly think it’s fine to make me stand in my doorway shivering, before attempting to extract my money/ help me find god/ make me switch water companies .

The other day a woman opened with the line: ‘have you heard about the Haiti disaster?’

No, I live in a hole and only come out to answer the door to people like you. ‘Have you ever considered what it must feel like to have your house fall down on top of you?’ Oh yes, I ponder that most days, don’t we all? When I smugly informed her that I had already donated to the Haiti disaster (and I wasn’t even lying!) she had the audacity to reply: ‘well can’t you spare a little more?’ Oh I know you silly woman, why don’t you come on through to my back garden, there’s a money tree growing there, why don’t you help yourself!

After mutually agreeing that we hated each other, I closed the door (kind of in her face) and then spent the rest of the day feeling guilty. Damn that silly woman for inflicting the emotion of guilt on me, damn her! Anyway, I desperately need a Mulberry handbag, but you don’t see me knocking on people’s doors demanding donations for my needy cause do you?! Tsk...

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GEORGIE + JAMES AND THE KREDIT KRUNCH KATWALK KREW THE KREDIT KRUNCH KATWALK KREW The Story.

It is a dark time for the Human World. In between the chav attacks, terrorism / wars and other demonic activities, the human race was suffering from the dreaded ‘Kredit Krunch’, sapping at the will of the people. For the long time since the Dark Lord Thatcher lost her one ring to rule them all, the humans had been a happy lot, enjoying the slow burn of the climate change...warmer summers meant more bikinis and barbeques, as well as an Aussie themed Xmas.

But then the skies drew dark, and the presence known as ‘the Kredit Krunch’ began chewing at the fabric of the humans’ reality. Like “THE NOTHING” from The Never Ending Story, its presence could be felt by all. Some have fallen to it. Some have escaped its clutches. How will the human race ever free themselves from the terrible chains that bind them to this BEAST??!?!

THE KREDIT KRUNCH KATWALK KREW!!!

A simple band of ever growing heroes, dedicated to smite the BEAST down with their weapons of justice! HOWEVER, a number of the human world have signed their souls over to the BEAST. Known as THE KREDIT KRUNCH KATWALK KREW villains, these sympathisers have sold their souls to be able to live on, doing the BEAST’s wicked work.

Now it is time.

Time to choose a side.

Nominate, don’t hesitate.

Will you be a KREDIT KRUNCH KATWALK KREW Hero?

Or Villain?

X

If you would like to be transformed please get in touch.

Embrace us! Embrace the future!

We will give you a super power look and invite you into the Kredit Krunch Katwalk Krew story.

Be part of the revolution. e-mail us on georgienjames@googlemail.com www.kreditkrunchkatwalkkrew.blogspot.com or follow us on www.georgieandjames.blogspot. com We are two shape shifters from East London.

We come from the future.

We need to re-invent your inner soul as “Kredit Krunch Super Heroes” or “Kredit Krunch Super Villains”.

We will invade your wardrobe and re-create a LOOK. We will fight in the name of SUSTAINABILITY. We will fight hard to nurture people with super powers!

We definitely love your Wardrobe.

Another wine fuelled evening prompted a visit to a lady, a lady who had a very famous painter for a Grandfather. We were excited beyond belief to be rattling around the posh end of Kentish Town on a cold evening ready to transform this peacock of a girl. She was to be the counterpart to the KandyMan-Kan, the apple to his pear, the rhubarb to his custard, the kola to his kube. We knew this classy biatch would have some corkers in her wardrobe, and off into the dark depths of her cupboards we went.

Rifling through her wardrobe, we were astonished to see an abundance of hand me down furs (O-M-G-P-E-T-A) which we collapsed upon in the glamour and Patsy Stoney-ness of the given situ, lapping up the high class atmosphere. It was easy to compile the bits, she had a wide variety of treasures, although it was not fun to be photographing her on the floor to find chewing gum stuck to our jeans! Oh the posh, how they live!

She posed and performed like some sort of sealmonkey, if there is such a thing, on heat, thrashing her little tail whenever we said ‘work it’. You go girl. It’s your party and we will cry for you if you want us want to.

The inspiration for the Kandy Man Kan came from watching Doctor Who....

Not the ones of late, with Mr Tennant frothing his way thru every scene, spitting on Catherine Tate whilst jumping up and down in front of a Dalek, but the old skool, the real old Skool Doctor Who’s.

The old Who days, during the ‘Paradise Towers’ and ‘The Happiness Patrol’, more specifically, the Bertie Bassett inspired character, ‘The Kandyman’.

So it was a wine fuelled evening (again), and a friend of ours was desperate to be transformed in the name of ‘la Krunch’.

We found it easy, our minds swimming with Merlot, and thoughts of the retro tardis burning a pink and white striped emblem across our minds.

Plucking through pink garments, we knew what had to be done - star based tees, a pink sash here and there, plus the all important futurist headphone visors we picked up from a japanese department store. The character was fully formed. He needed a platform, a platform to rise upon and teach the world about candies. We thought of neon pink weighing scales He wobbled about, consumed with the flames of transformation, barely able to tell his physical weight, let alone stay still to be photographed = reminding us of marshmallow, wobbling around in front of the flames of a campsite. The KandyMan-Kan was born.

BIRTHDAY CAKE 88 wears : Sunglasses : Birthday present.

Handmade dress worn as top.

Skirt : Oxfam.

Bottoms : Spongebob Squarepants TM. ‘Fakefendi’ clutch : Bangkok Bolero, hair accessory and vintage shoes : Topshop

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The Kandy-Man-Kan wears : Neon leggings and pink shorts : American Apparel.

Socks : Tabio Neon pink weighing scale mobility platform : Shinjuku, Japan.

Neon multistar tee and vintage replica Jem & The Holograms tee : James Hamilton Butler.

Pink neon stretch belt : Alexander Mcqueen.

Pink cravat : Liberties.

Fingerless 80’s vintage gloves : Brick Lane Mkt. Headphone visor : Lumine, Japan Diamante broaches : Marjan Pejoski duck Diamante necklace : Butler and Wilson

A segmented novel

By Marco Casadei Image by James Lightfoot Nouveaux Débuts

Very, very occasionally I spin out uncontrollably. I’m not sure what the trigger is but maybe the doctor will help cure this as time goes on. For now I keep my mouth shut and follow the lead I have decided to trust in the short term.

We leave the hospital and walk out of a small black gate that closes automatically behind us. The evening is fresh, the sky clear and I begin to feel a sense of calm; this part of London feels very much like a village and I like it. Running down the hill to my right is an old thick wall, mounted with iron railings, decorated with leafy ivy and some unidentifiable undergrowth that could have been there for 100 years. As we walk in silence I glance through a break in the foliage and notice the dark grey motifs of crooked tombstones. I never found cemeteries a place to be scared of or creepy, but more a place for me to collect my thoughts and remind me that death is what gives us life and life should be meaningful. I consider all the times I wanted to die because everything seemed so pointless. I still think it’s pointless, but as depressed as I am I realise I can do something great if I can just get out of the mundane treaty of life that binds me to this existence. I think about putting the gun to my temple and pulling the trigger on an empty chamber I hear a murmur, look at the doctor and realise he’s talking to me.

“Sorry, I got sidetracked, what were you saying” He laughed. He’s a nice guy.

“Yes, yes it’s quite alright. Highgate cemetery is one the greatest final resting places second only to Pere La Chaise in Paris. It’s easy to get lost in a dream. I was just saying that maybe if you are lucky you’ll see the ghost of Karl Marx ambling around” I considered this and what the ghosts of Karl Marx and Douglas Adams would have to talk about should they ever bump into one another. To my left I see a castle-like structure and the doctor guides me through its large iron gates. There is an inscription on the outside coving but I cannot quite make it out in the poor light. I notice with surprise that the walls of this castle actually hold a village of its own. Beautiful houses with pointed roofs, decorated with wooden fascias.

We go into house number 8 and turn on the lights.

“This will be your home for the foreseeable future, at least however long you might want it for” I have never been bound to a single place for long but I could definitely stay here for a while.

“Deal” I say with a smile

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SCENE STEALER

loves

Trekstock, a charity that raises money for young people with cancer through music and fashion held their official launch party on the 17th March 2010 to celebrate becoming a registered charity. A select few joined Trekstock founder, Sophie Epstone at Downing Street earlier in the day to meet Mr Brown and watch the ceremony.

Everyone else joined at the Green Carnation later that evening to thoroughly celebrate the achievement. Trekstock is an excellent charity and we wish them every luck for the future so they can continue doing the great things they do be it festivals, clothing lines or parties all in the name of raising money for young people with cancer.

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JACK Party

Old SCENE STEALER Queens Head SCENE STEALER

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* * * * S U B S C R I B E * * * * SUBSCRIBE TO WHO’S JACK BY SIMPLY FILLING IN THE INFORMATION BELOW AND POSTING IT OFF ALONG WITH A CHEQUE MADE OUT TO WHO’S JACK LTD TO WHO’S JACK, 93 BARKER DRIVE, CAMDEN, LONDON, NW1 0JG

NAME ADDRESS

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(please tick) 6 MONTHS £16.00

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THE END Carry on at www.whosjack.org www.thisisjack.tv www.twitter.com/whosjackmag Kaye shot by Kristoffer Myhre in London, February 2010.

Creative Direction & styling by Faye Héran and Jo Bevis | Top by Mustache | Trousers by Paperdress | Ankle boots from Ted Baker | Necklace by Anthropologie | Cuff by Fiona Paxton | Jewelled bird from VV rouleaux | Birdcage is Stylist’s own