The Marina Alta Vida March Issue Magazine (2) by Loria Rajah

March 2010

Marina Alta

Vida

Lifestyle and Business e-magazine

Spring is in the air!

wvm couriers

cant trade on ebay? cost of transport expensive?

we go the extra mile costa blanca to uk return (and all stops in between!)

not now!

- no minimum size package - we consider everything (almost) - pets included!

- weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll shop for you in any major UK shop chain, including cash and carries

Call us for immediate quote... 96 646 0317/618 567 996

Problems getting Car spares to Spain? Pets to UK? Shopping from UK? Trading on Ebay? No problems now!

contents articles in this month’s edition click to go direct to the article

the difference between men and women - part II

Health and Beauty 10 what’s on at the cinema 14 Recipes Of The Month 18 beware veiled threats 22 A Fishy Tale 24

33 puzzle pages 40 Interesting Headstones

heart attacks 28

44 ad spotted in denia?

Weird News 32

48 Oh Happy Days

51 auntie elsies problem page 54 Forces Training 58 remedies that work 62 Amazing Facts 64 all about olive trees

67 What’s On In & Around 72

Present company Birthday gift ideas for a family member or close friend Looking for a special birthday gift for a friend or family member? Whether it's for an 18th, 21st, 30th, 60th or 70th Birthday is guaranteed to have the birthday gift for you.

Choosing wedding presents or wedding thank you gifts is a difficult task. Wedding presents need to be 'original' or 'unique'. Our wedding present ideas can be treasured forever. The collection of wedding presents for the bridal party are original and some are fun.

Romantic Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day gifts Personalised Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day gifts are what is needed on this traditional day when anyone can express their love with a truly Unique and Special Valentines Gift from

Anniversary gifts for every occasion, Golden, Ruby, Pearl or Silver Looking for an anniversary gift or present for that special occasion? Or an anniversary gift idea for Mum & Dad? Choose an anniversary gift and dedicate it to someone special with a personalised message.

Baby gifts and personalised presents for a family member or close friend Looking for a special gift or present for a baby or newborn? Choose a baby gift from The and personalise it with a special message. Or trying to find a christening gift or unique baby present to celebrate this special occasion? Our range of christening gift ideas will help you choose a christening gift that will be a memorable keepsake. at the NGAGE Shop in Javea Port

Marina Alta

Vida

Lifestyle and Business e-magazine

It really is Spring...isn’t it?

migrants and 200,000 Britons move abroad each year; 47,000 of these to Spain.

There are currently 2.9m foreign nationals in the UK and 4.5m British passport holders living overseas which equals 1 in every 12 of the population! One fifth of British people now move abroad when they retire. Is it me or has they gone completely Further, it is estimated there are barking mad in the UK? Apparently, around 2.2m Britons living in Spain disgruntled MPs are questioning “on and of the fifteen Costas, nine have whose authority” the date has been foreign home owners outnumbering changed. "They may say that the 1st Spanish Nationals. I guess by 2050 if March is the first day of Spring this trend continues, all UK passport which it is not - but it certainly doesn't holders will be living overseas! feel like it," says the seasonally We have some great articles this named Sir Nicholas Winterton, month to whet your appetite. We Conservative MP for Macclesfield. have had a huge response from you, It‟s most important that us „oiks‟ who asking for more of the bizarre, weird, dare to travel second class on trains, amusing and wonderful from this should be aware when Spring starts, months news, views and pictures don't you think? from around the world. Well, ok it‟ll officially be Spring on the 21st March, but according to the BBC a row has erupted over the date as some believe the first day to be March 1st!

In my search for fascinating snippets of information, I was looking at spring migration of the ornithological variety to see which birds flew where in Spain, but came across some interesting facts about human migration, particularly to Spain from the UK. Emigration from the UK has always superseded immigration but doesn‟t get the same press. 23% of the worlds population are

I should also mention again that we have now saved around 390 trees by being a non-print magazine. Although I don‟t wish to go on about saving the planet too much, I do feel we are all achieving something... Finally, our reader numbers are holding up well and are similar to last month. We must be doing something right, which as my dearly beloved will tell you, is about time! Please read, enjoy and DO pass on to all your email contacts...

The Ed.

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the marina alta

Marina Alta is a comarca in the province of Alicante, Valencian Community, Spain

Bandera/Flag de la Comunidad Valenciana

Towns and Villages of our Region Adsubia, Alcalalí, Beniarbeig, Benidoleig, Benigembla, Benimeli, Benissa, Benitachell/El Poble Nou de Benitatxell, Calp, Castell de Castells, Dénia, Gata de Gorgos, Jalón/Xaló, Llíber, Murla, Ondara, Orba, Parcent, Pedreguer, Pego, Els Poblets, El Ràfol d'Almúnia, Sagra, Sanet y Negrals, Senija, Teulada, Tormos, La Vall d'Alcalà, Vall de Ebo, Vall de Gallinera, La Vall de L’aguar, El Verger, Javéa/Xàbia

Interesting Statistics Area - Total 758.02 km = (292.7 sq miles) Population - (2006) - Total182,073 2

Density - 240.2/km (622.1/sq miles) 2

Time zone - CET (UTC+1) - Summer (DST) CEST (UTC+2) Largest municipality - Dénia magazine / 7

The difference between men and women…

Part 2...

More Differences!

they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

1. A man will pay 2€ for a 1€ item he wants. A woman will pay 1€ for a 2€ item that she doesn't want.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

And finally, a 4. To be happy question I have with a man you always wanted must answered... understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy Why is it when a man says with a woman you must love her a lot something rude to a women it's and not try to understand her at all. sexual harassment, but when a women says something rude to a 5. Married men live longer than man it's 3.99€ a minute? single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. “I had a dog named Minton who

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

had an unfortunate habit of eating

7. Men wake up as good-looking as

“Bad Minton…”

shuttlecocks…”

TMAV March 2010

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...oops! To my Darling Husband, Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your Ferrari. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you and cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife XXX

Ps. Your girlfriend called magazine / 9

Health And Beauty ? e k

r e t

Diet...

This month we concentrate on drinking... No, no lectures from me I‟m pleased to say. After all, wine is so much better than Coke don‟t you think? It‟s made of fruit, you see... ...In fact, if you drink a whole bottle, that is your five portions of fruit/veg for the day!

water... 1) 75% of Americans (and probably us Brits as well) are chronically dehydrated. 2) In 37%, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger. 3) Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism to 3% of what it should be. 4) One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study. 5) Lack of water is the number 1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page. 8) Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?

coke... 1) In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from

6) Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. 7) A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic maths, and TMAV March 2010

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...it’s too easy sumptuous brown gravy. 8) To remove grease from clothes, empty a can of Coke into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windscreen. the highway after a car accident. 2) You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days. 3) To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the 'real thing' sit for one hour. Then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china. 4) To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers, rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of aluminium foil dipped in Coca-Cola. 5) To clean corrosion from car battery terminals, pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion. 6) To loosen a rusted bolt, apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes. 7) To bake a moist ham, empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminium foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a magazine / 11

for your information... The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) commercial trucks must use hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

The question is, would you now prefer a glass of water...

“Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back” Steven Wright

Gaynors Ad page 1

What’s On in Javea Dr. Adrian Helmsley, part of a worldwide geophysical team which is investigating the effect on the Earth of radiation from unprecedented solar storms, learns that the Earth's core is heating up. He warns U.S. President Thomas Wilson that the crust of the Earth is becoming unstable and that without proper preparations for saving a fraction of the world's population, the entire race is doomed. Meanwhile, writer Jackson Curtis stumbles on the same information. While the world's leaders race to build "arks" to escape the impending cataclysm, Curtis struggles to find a way to save his family. Meanwhile, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes of unprecedented strength wreak havoc around the world. Like most films, this one has mixed reviews. Whether or not to see this movie will very much depend on which you wish to believe as they range from “absolutely brilliant” and “the best disaster movie ever” to “They had all the money, actors and special effects they needed so how did they manage to screw this one up?”

Tuesday 16, Wednesday 17, Thursday 18 - March - 8 pm Please check with the cinema for latest information TMAV March 2010

http://

Please check with the cinema for latest information: 966831195

Calling all mums!!! Everyone who is expecting a baby, or who already has young children, knows all too well how expensive it is to buy clothes and equipment for our little darlings here in Spain.

La Tienda has come up with a brilliant solution to help mums in difficult times. We have a large selection of used baby and childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothes up to the age of 14 years, as well as second-hand pushchairs, high chairs, car seats, cots and many toys, books and games - all in fantastic condition and very reasonably priced. We also take any of your items and clothes that are no longer used and, once sold in the shop, we will give you money back.

Rentals have a huge stock of items for rent including cots and travel cots, stair-gates, car seats and many other items needed to make your stay more comfortable for you and your family.

Bouncy Castles If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re stuck for ideas for birthday parties - why not hire one of our fabulous bouncy castles for only 40.00e (50.00e outside Javea) including delivery and collection.

We are located in N-Gage in Javea Port Call Michelle on: 679042692 and see our website: www.krazykidz.es magazine / 17

Recipe of the Month Moroccan Grilled Chicken I can‟t personally vouch for this one as the friends of ours who gave us the recipe haven't invited us round yet to taste it...you know who you are, so get those invites out... I am assured however this is rather good, if not excellent, and it goes well with couscous and a fresh green salad. It‟ll take 45 minutes to get it to the table...personally, I find these times understated as it takes me about that to peel the onions...but then, I am a bloke...

Ingredients -

...meat

parsley, coriander, garlic, paprika, cumin, salt, turmeric and cayenne pepper in the container of a food processor. 2. Process until smooth. 3. Rub the mixture on both sides of the chicken breasts and let stand for at least 30 minutes. 4. Preheat the grill to medium hot. 5. Grill chicken breasts 5-7 minutes on each side, or until done. P.S. You could also cut into 1 inch cubes chicken and make kebabs which apparently is wonderful! Enjoy!

Serves 4

120 ml extra virgin olive oil (the best quality you can get) 2 ounces spring onion, chopped (white part only) 2 ounces parsley, chopped 2 ounces coriander, chopped 1 tablespoon garlic, chopped 2 teaspoons paprika or ½ teaspoon chili powder 2 teaspoons ground cumin 1 teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon turmeric ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Method 1. Combine oil, spring onions,

We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are. Adelle Davis TMAV March 2010

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...and for the veggies Baja Black Beans, Corn and Rice SERVES 4-6 A great recipe from â&#x20AC;&#x17E;South of the Borderâ&#x20AC;&#x;...South America in other words! Ingredients 6 cups cooked brown rice 1 (15 ounce) tin black beans, rinsed and drained 1 (15 ounce) tin sweet corn, drained 4 fresh tomatoes, diced 1/2 cup red onion, chopped 1/2 cup corianda, chopped 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and diced 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice 1 tablespoon olive oil 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon fresh ground pepper 2 dashes hot sauce (such as Tabasco) Directions Cook brown rice. In a medium bowl, magazine / 19

combine black beans, corn, tomatoes, onion, corianda, jalapeno, lime juice, oil, salt, pepper and hot sauce. To serve: Place a scoop of hot rice in a bowl or plate, top with a generous scoop of the black bean mixture. Stir together before eating. Note: cup measurements are an American method of measuring. You can also use a medium size mug in its place. Enjoy!

"Eat at this restaurant and you'll never eat anywhere else again." Bob Philips

Beware Veiled Threats An Arab ambassador discovered his new bride was bearded and crosseyed behind the veil following their wedding

other gifts he had bought for her. The court annulled the contract but rejected the ambassador's demand for compensation. The report, oddly enough, did not identify the ambassador.

An Arab ambassador has called off his wedding after discovering his wife-to-be who wears a face-covering veil is bearded and crosseyed. Published: 10:54AM GMT 10 Feb 2010 The envoy had only met the woman a few times, during which she had hidden her face behind a niqāb, the Gulf newspaper reported. After the marriage contract was signed, the ambassador attempted to kiss his bride-to-be. It was only then that he discovered her facial hair and crossed eyes. The ambassador told an Islamic Sharia court in the United Arab Emirates he was tricked into the marriage as the woman's mother had shown his own mother pictures of her sister instead of his bride-to-be. He sued for the contract to be annulled and also demanded the woman pay him 500,000 Dirhams (£85,000) for clothes, jewelry and

“Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't stand for that, will we?” Eddie Izzard TMAV March 2010

RECOMMENDED!

A Fishy Tale... the growing industrial sector, polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs), DDT and its metabolites (DDTs), metal contaminants, chlordanerelated compounds (CHLs), and can be found in pretty much all the local supermarkets. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x;s good hexachlorocyclohexane isomers (HCHs), and hexachlorobenzene news and bad news about this fish (HCB) ). which we feel is our duty to pass on to you. The Mekong River is one of the most The good news is that it polluted rivers on the is cheap but planet because unfortunately, that is all industries along the the good there is about river dump chemicals this fish. and industrial waste directly into it. Also known as Regardless of reports Vietnamese River Cobbler, and recommendations against selling Pangasius, White Catfish, Gray them, supermarkets still do, knowing Sole , it is industrially farmed in full well that they are contaminated. Vietnam in the Mekong River. In a very short amount of time, it has 2. They freeze Pangas in grown in popularity in France as well contaminated river water. as here in Spain. They are sold in filets with no bones and they have a 3. There's nothing natural about neutral flavour and texture; many Basa/Pangas - They're fed dead fish would compare it to cod and sole, remnants and bones, dried and only much cheaper. As tasty as some ground into a flour (from Peru), people may find it manioc ( cassava ) and residue from though, there is in fact, soy and grains. This kind of something hugely nourishment doesn't even remotely unsavoury about it. I resemble what they eat in nature. hope the information What it does resemble is the old provided here will help method of feeding cows with feed you with your future "In Spain, attempting to obtain a choices of fish to buy and why it is chicken salad sandwich, you wind better left in the shops and not on up with a dish whose name, when your dinner plates: you look it up in your Spanish1. Pangas are teeming with high English dictionary, turns out to levels of poisons and bacteria. mean: Eel with big abscess." (industrial effluents, arsenic, and Dave Barry. toxic and hazardous by-products of

The Basa Fish or as itâ&#x20AC;&#x;s called here in Spain, Panga is a common enough fish

TMAV March 2010

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...Yuk! made from cows, and who has forgotten mad cow disease? What they feed Pangas is completely unregulated so there are most likely other dangerous substances and hormones thrown into the mix. The Pangas grow 4 times faster than in nature, so it makes you wonder what exactly is in their food...

care about making more money at whatever cost to the public..

7. Pangas WILL make you sick - If you don't get ill with vomiting, diarrhea and effects from severe food poisoning, congratulations, you have an iron stomach! ...Your guess is as good as mine. But you're still 4. Female Pangas are injected with ingesting hormones made from the dehydrated POISON urine of pregnant women, from a not pharmaceutical company in China. "poisson". This makes them grow much quicker and produce eggs faster ( one Panga Final can lay approximately 500,000 eggs important at one time ). To state the obvious note: THAT IS NOT GOOD! Because of the prodigious amount of availability of Pangas, be warned that 5. You get what you pay for - and they will almost certainly find their then some. Don't be lured in by way into other foods like imitation insanely cheap price of Pangas. Is it crab sticks, fish sticks, fish terrines, worth risking your health and the and probably in some pet food too. health of your family? Just check the ingredients to see if Basa is one of them. Good Luck. 6. Buying Pangas supports You have been warned !!! unscrupulous, greedy Why are we allowing this product to corporations and be imported into Europe while at the food same time our governments and conglomerates environmentalists are closing up and that don't care about the health "Personally I stay away from and well-being of human beings. They are only natural foods. At my age I need all concerned about selling as many the preservatives I can get." Pangas as possible to unsuspecting consumers. These corporations only George Burns magazine / 25

Whatever you have in mind casual wear, a favourite style or designer, or are looking for an outfit for an occasion there’s always something a bit special at

Déjà vu You’ll always be pleasantly surprised, and we have new stock arriving each day. in

Please come today and take a look yourself!

Heart Attacks A NURSE'S HEART ATTACK EXPERIENCE This was sent in to us and is the best description of this event that weâ&#x20AC;&#x;ve heard. Please read, pay attention, and

send it on!

FEMALE HEART ATTACKS Women and heart attack (Myocardial Infarction). Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack .... you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest and dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack.. I had a heart attack at about 10:30 p.m. with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might bring it on. I was sitting all cosy on a cold evening, with my cat in my lap, reading a book my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'This is the life, all warm in my soft, comfortable sofa with my feet up. A moment later, I felt that awful

Ladies sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly so it needs a drink of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation. The only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m. After it subsided, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my spine (hit was probably my aorta spasming), gaining speed as they continued up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR). This process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. Being a nurse I stopped puzzling about what was happening and said aloud to myself and the cat, 'Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!' "As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, 'Relax, you're not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients', but the another kept reminding me, 'Howard, you are a veterinarian!'" Dick Wilson TMAV March 2010

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...read! I lowered the footrest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, if this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else ... but, on the other hand if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment. I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed 911 (the paramedics). I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to unbolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in. I did this and lost consciousness. I don't remember the medics, their examination, lifting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to the hospital ER on the way. I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the doctor was there, magazine / 29

helping to pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was asking questions but I couldn't understand or answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stents to hold open my right coronary artery. It felt like all my actions took at least 20-30 minutes before calling the ambulance, but actually it took 4-5 minutes. The doctor was already to go when I got to the hospital and restart my heart which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stents. Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you to know what I learned firsthand. 1. A womanâ&#x20AC;&#x;s heart attack has different symptoms to menâ&#x20AC;&#x;s including the sensation in my jaws. It "First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me." Steve Martin

...help others! is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) heart attack because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call an ambulance if ANYTHING unpleasant is happening that you've not felt before.. It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be! 2. Note that I said ''Call an ambulance.'' And if you can, take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER you are a hazard to others on the road. Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an heart attack (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). Heart attacks are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

If everyone who reads this magazine sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Do NOT call your doctor -- he doesn't So PLEASE send on to all in your address book, male or know where you live and if it's at female, and letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s save lives ... night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call "I have the body of an eighteen the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, year old. I keep it in the fridge." principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified later. Spike Milligan TMAV March 2010

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Weird News

Bizarre

We continue our

The injured man was treated for his injuries at a hospital.

demand...with more fascinating stories from around the world…

Sea Cucumber

Weird News by popular

80-year-old burglar gets 3 years in prison An 80-year-old woman with a criminal record stretching back to 1955 has been sentenced to three years in state prison for ransacking and stealing cash from a Southern California medical office. Doris Thompson thanked Judge Wednesday for not sending her to Los Angeles County jail, which she doesn't like.She will be eligible for parole in 18 months.

Prankster hurt in 'mooning' gone wrong UTRECHT, Netherlands - A 21-yearold Dutch man is recovering after a "mooning" that went horribly wrong. Police said the man and two others had run down a street in Utrecht with their pants pulled down "for a joke." But the 21-year-old suffered "deep wounds to his derriere" when he pushed his behind against the window of a restaurant and it broke.

This slug-like creature seen in tidepools is somewhat of a delicacy in Asian culture. You can have it in spicy Korean soup, or stirfried with vegetables in Japanese and Chinese menus. It‟s a little crunchy — a bit like fungus — and since it‟s almost tasteless, takes on the flavours of whatever gravy or soup it‟s in. If you can get past the way it looked when it was alive, you might like it! Yuk!

Body Inflation The bumpy, lumpy „art‟ of saline inflation is apparently taking off in Japan. These guys are cool clubbers. The way this is done is by injecting a saline solution, under the skin. I wonder if anyone has asked them, WHY??? "When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in." Bob Hope talking about Jack Benny TMAV March 2010

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Puzzle Pages

Answers!

Last months puzzle answers...

Solution to "School Supplies - a logic problem" Kayla, 11th grade, flowering mechanical pencil, tie dye peace binder Lauren, 7th grade, sparkly mechanical pencil, green/pink stripes binder Molly, 3rd grade, polka dot mechanical pencil, Curious George binder Nikki, 1st grade, pink wooden pencil, Dogs binder Solutions to Brain Teasers:

22 years old

The frog is dead so can‟t jump!

Parachutes

The ONE word IS „MISSPELLED‟ which is not misspelled!

There was the father, his son and his son‟s son

Mr Whimpy went to bed in the daytime...it wasn‟t dark.

The letter „L‟ in their names

The bodies were goldfish

Ace of Diamonds, King of Hearts and Two of Spades

magazine / 33

10) Fire Well, I‟m sure you all got it right. The first correct an answer we received was from Miss Marlow from Javea. The lucky girl gets an evening out with me!

Puzzle Pages Vidaâ&#x20AC;&#x;s March 2010 Brain Teaser...

Brain Teaser asking questions until only one team

The Flawed Game - a logic problem A teacher was having trouble getting her students to learn their facts, but she noticed that her students often played the game "Rock, Paper, Scissors". She devised a game with similar rules in order to encourage the students to learn their facts. The class would be divided into three teams: Rock, Paper and Scissors. The teacher would ask the students a question and the class would raise their hands if they knew the answer. If the first person to answer the question correctly is in the Rock team, he or she would choose one player from the Scissors team to be eliminated. Similarly, if a player from the Scissors team was first to answer the question, then he or she would eliminate a member from the Paper team. Lastly, if a player from the Paper team was first to answer correctly, he or she would eliminate a member from the Rock team. The teacher would then continue

still has members. That team would be declared the winner and all its members would win a small chocolate. However, as soon as she explained the rules to the class, one particularly smart student immediately found a large flaw that made the game unplayable. Can you do the same? Print out and email your solutions to theeditor@vidapublications.com The first 10 correct answers will each receive 5 nights free DVD hire from The bookshop in Javea port! TMAV March 2010

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Crossword

Across

1. With tweeters in the hi-fi (7) 6. Ale house (3) 8. Colour (3) 9. Early computer buff (7) 11. Perfect (5) 12. Recommended eating by Marie Antoinette (5) 13. Singing group of 8 (5) 16. A short note (5) 18. Roman 51 (2) 19. Old Testament Book (6) 21. Puzzle (6) 23. Royal Engineers (2) 25. Coconut bark (5) 27. Natural milk container (5) 29. Areas (5) 31. Build, upright! (5) 32. Celebrated (7) 34. Tree (3) 35. Morse, Mayday (3) 36. Referred (7)

Down

(3) Arachnid's trap .1 (5) Circle .2 (5) Precise .3

(6) Old Jewish currency .4 (5) Belief in a God .5 (7) Old German currency .6 (7) Eating disorder .7 (2) Georgia (abb) .10 (3) Steers the rowing boat .14 (5) Duck... in the duvet? .15 (5) Homer epic .17 (7) Goes beyond .19

(7) Underworld character, but no criminal!! .20 (3) Miss West .. the lifesaver! .22 (6) Where film producers hope to display .24 (5) Early South American Civilization .26 (5) Normal .27 (5) Dearly loved .28 (2) Former partner .30 (3) Failure .33

Sudoku Vida‟s March 2010 Sudoku...

It‟s another monster! TMAV February 2010

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More Brain Teasers! 1.

Mr. Robinson is a terrible punner. His three children's names, Emmaline, Bertram and Cameron, are in fact a pun about his profession. What is it that Mr. Robinson does?

What am I? With it I am a collection. Without it, litigation. What am I? With it I am a hazard to health. Without it I am just myself. What am I? With it I am linked to a moon. Without it I am linked to the sun.

My 14, 12, 4, 13, 2, 11 can be an exploration. My 5, 1, 6, 11, 3 can snare you. My 11, 4, 8, 10 is a heavenly instrument. My 13, 9, 7 can be a tattered cloth. My whole gets the deep answers.

In a far away land, it was known that if you drank poison, the only way to save yourself is to drink a stronger poison, which neutralizes the weaker poison. The king that ruled the land wanted to make sure that he possessed the strongest poison in the kingdom, in order to ensure his survival, in any situation. So the king called the kingdom's pharmacist and the kingdom's treasurer, he gave each a week to make the strongest poison. Then, each would drink the other one's poison, then his own, and the one that will survive, will be the one that had the stronger poison. The pharmacist went straight to work, but the treasurer knew he had no chance, for the pharmacist was much more experienced in this field, so instead, he made up a plan to survive and make sure the pharmacist died. On the last day the pharmacist suddenly realized that the treasurer would know he had no chance, so he must have a plan. After a little thought, the pharmacist realized what the treasurer's plan must be, and he concocted a counter plan, to make sure he survived and the treasurer died. When the time came, the king summoned both of them. They drank the poisons as planned, and the treasurer died, the pharmacist survived, and the king didn't get what he wanted. What exactly happened there?

You are an expert on paranormal activity and have been hired to locate a spirit haunting an old resort hotel. Strong signs indicate that the spirit lies behind one of four doors. The DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T FORGET! inscriptions on each door read as follows: Print out and email your solutions Door A: It's behind B or C to Door B: It's behind A or D theeditor@vidapublications.com Door C: It's in here Door D: It's not in here The first 10 correct answers will each Your psychic powers have told you receive 5 nights free three of the inscriptions are false, DVD hires from and one is true. Behind which door will you find the spirit?

magazine / 37

Eye openers! Look at the red dot in the middle and move your head towards and away from the screen. See how the outer rings appear to rotate?

Do the straight horizontal gray lines look curvy to you? Hold up a piece of paper to prove that they are straight and parallel to each other.

In this illusion, black spots quickly appear and disappear at the intersections.

In spite of what your eyes are telling you, the smaller off-center circle is actually perfectly round.

Do your eyes deceive you? TMAV March 2010

Interesting Headstones

Mexico

TMAV March 2010

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...way to go!

magazine / 41

Ad. spotted in Denia Apartment for rent… Available immediately - Showing Saturday and Sunday - Email for directions and additional information. One bedroom basement apartment with separate entrance Tastefully decorated with modern decor Approximately 150 sqm There is even a window - security bars installed for your safety and to prevent unauthorized activity Closed circuit camera installed for security and safety. One at the entrance, one at the front door and one in the bathroom. Rent: 480.00€ per month First months‟ rent + security deposit due on moving in Small pet allowed with approval and payment of additional month pet damage deposit Eleven month lease permitted, option to renew lease at end of the term with no increase in rent LANDLORDS SPECIAL! Move in before January 1st and don‟t pay for the remainder of December! That‟s significant savings.

Included in the rent: Electricity Heating maintained at 21 degrees with lock box to prevent unauthorized tampering. Additional heating available for 20.00€ per extra degree of heating per month. You may not use your oven to heat the apartment. If you do, you will be fined 50.00€ per occurrence. Air conditioning maintained at 25 degrees during the summer with lock box to prevent extra cooling from being dispensed. Additional cooling for sale for 20.00€ per degree of cooling requested per month. 25" Zenith color television set with basic Sky - INCLUDED IN RENT! Wireless internet (with content filter applied to block forbidden/ immoral websites) - INCLUDED IN RENT! Provision of coin laundry services You will have your own personal coin "They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one." Rita Rudner TMAV March 2010

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..and it went on laundry washer and dryer machines. Washers and dryers are paid using a token system. Tokens can be purchased through the landlord. Washer tokens cost 4.15€ each and dryer tokens cost 3.60€ each. You are not allowed to use foreign currency or slugs in the washer and dryer. Violators will be fined 100.00€ per infraction. About us: (Landlords) We are conservative, bible believing, God-fearing, born again, evangelical Christians. We interpret the bible literally in every way possible. We live a strict moral code and observe God‟s laws in our everyday life. My wife stays at home and teaches our homeschooled children. I work as a pastor at a local congregation and am active in the faith community. About you: (Tenant) You are employed You do not participate in lascivious deviant sexual behavior You do not choose alternative lifestyles as your lifestyle You do not have any criminal magazine / 45

history You must have excellent character references You do not smoke, drink or take drugs. Mandatory drug screening required. Additional Rules/Conditions: CLEANLINESS: You are responsible for the cleanliness and orderliness of your apartment. Beds are to be made before leaving your suite, countertops must be wiped down, and you must remove all trash. Upon inspection, if the tenant's basement suite is not clean, the cost of cleaning services plus a fine of 100.00€ will be levied. LIGHTS: The lights in your basement suite and in the day room are not to be tampered with. If a light needs repair, report the condition to the Landlord. "I always travel first class on a train. It's the only way to avoid one's creditors." Seymour Hicks

...and on WAKE-UP: Wake up will be at 5:30am each morning. All ceiling lights in the suite will be turned on automatically. LIGHTS OUT: Ceiling lights in the suite will be turned off at 11:30pm. CONTRABAND: The following items are considered contraband -alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco, weapons, lock picking equipment. If any contraband is discovered to be in your possession, you will be subject to a minimum 1,000.00€ fine. In addition, your items will be confiscated permanently. Second offense, you will be evicted without notice. A bailiff will escort you and your belongings off the premises. Your security deposit will not be returned. SMOKING: The basement suite is non-smoking. Anyone in possession of tobacco products of any kind or any lighter or matches will have their contraband items confiscated and will be fined 100.00€. INSPECTIONS: The Landlord will conduct unannounced inspections to ensure that these rules and regulations are being followed. VISITATION: Visitation periods will be on Saturdays and Sundays from 1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. All visitors and their vehicles are subject to search while on landlord property. Refusal to allow a search can result in their being barred from all future

visitation privileges. All visitors must sign the Visitor's Log. Unauthorized visitors will be escorted from the property, and the tenant will be fined 250.00€. I.D. BRACELETS: Each tenant will be issued an I.D. bracelet with his/ her photograph. It must be worn at all times. If you lose your I.D. bracelet or it is broken, you will be required to purchase a new one at the nominal cost of 5.00€. EXERCISE YARD: The tenant will have access to the exercise yard in the area to the back of the property for 2 hours per day from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm. The tenant is not allowed to bring any personal property to the exercise yard. Once the tenant leaves the exercise yard on a particular day, he or she may not return. No boisterous behavior is allowed in the exercise yard. There is no smoking allowed in the exercise yard. Minimum fine for exercise yard infractions is 50.00€

Phone: 0034 98 7654 for additional information "My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson'." Ken Dodd TMAV March 2010

The Blue Bentley Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll give you the ride of your life!

Bentley Wedding Hire Hiring our Bentley Wedding Car for your wedding day makes a very wise choice. Historically the Bentley has always been seen in the right places, from Ascot to Buckingham Palace to Henley. The Bentley will always look the part. For your wedding day, choosing our chauffeured Bentley wedding car is guaranteed to be a success.

Bentley Events and Functions Hire For all your very special sporting and social events our Bentley makes an excellent chauffeur driven vehicle. It has that very unique and British style and is the ultimate in comfortable and luxurious travel. You will travel in hedonistic extravagance and complete safety to your destination.

Bentley Hire for Special Occasions If you fancy a stylish night out for a special birthday, anniversary or for any reason, then our chauffeur driven Bentley just has to be your first and only choice. Just imagine arriving at the Benidorm Palace in such style! contact Bob or Liz for reservations on 680 797 350

Oh Happy Days School 1970‟s vs. School 2010‟s Scenario 1: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1970’s - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates. 2010’s - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobile phones with evidence of fight are confiscated. Both are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Mobile phone video shown on 6 internet sites. Scenario 2: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students. 1977 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and never disrupts the class again. 2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to

death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Jeffrey drops out of school. Can’t get a job and is on the dole for the rest of his life. Scenario 3: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper. 1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normally, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. Laughs about the time he got the slipper. 2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison and is placed on the sex register. Spends the rest of his life on the dole. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a "My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years." Paul Merton TMAV March 2010

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promotion. Scenario 4 : Mark brings cigarettes to school . 1977 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area. 2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons. Ends up thinking smoking is cool and antiestablishment.

cannot speak English. Scenario 6 : Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill. 1977 - Ants die. 2007 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly with any American airline ever again.

Scenario 7 : Johnny falls during Scenario 5 : Mohammed fails playtime and scrapes his knee. His teacher Mary, finds him crying, GCSE English. and gives him a hug to comfort him. 1977 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college. Works hard the rest of his life running 1977 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing. a successful corner shop. 2007 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally, insisting that making English a requirement in school is racist and against human rights. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against the state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he magazine / 49

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy; becomes gay. What a crazy world! "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde." Dolly Parton

Auntie Elsie’s Page… Send in your problems and I’ll answer them in my own inimitable style... email: elsie@vidapublications.com Dear Auntie Elsie, My boyfriend and I have been saving for many months for our own place. Last night he asked me if I‟d like a pearl necklace. Obviously I‟m flattered and if we weren‟t saving every penny for our own house I‟d say yes in an instant, but I feel guilty accepting it at the moment. What should I do? Sandra - Miss I was given one once dear, and really didn’t like it. I suspect you won’t either. Stick to saving for your house. I need to speak to your boyfriend personally about this so if you can let me have his number I’ll sort him out for you. AE Dear Auntie Elsie, I‟ve recently found I have a terrible rash on my bottom. Will this put my dog off me? R Soal Jalon

back to contents seen in any other footwear combination, I prefer plastic sandals. So many colours. AE

Dear Auntie Elsie, I‟ve recently developed feelings for a female called Dolly. She understands me and she loves me the way no woman could. I feel we have a connection, but there is one problem. Dolly is a sheep and my friends think I‟m a bit odd. What should i do? (Name and address withheld on request...is that ok, Michael from Javea?) I don’t see what the problem is dear. Ewe are after all a consenting adult and I assume Dolly is as well. Perhaps roast lamb on a Sunday is not such a good idea though. AE Dear Auntie Elsie, I want to propose to my girlfriend in a really romantic and special way. I'm interested to hear how you would go about it, if you were me.

No dear, it won’t. I’ll send you my leaflet entitled L ‘ iving with My best advice is don't do it Rashes and Dogs’ which will explain all about dogs and rashes son! That romance lark is really a con. She'll cost you an absolute AE fortune with fancy holidays, credit card bills and a divorce Dear Auntie Elsie, when she's finally milked you dry. Why do people consider it such a crime to wear socks with open-toed Then you'll be forever dodging sandals? Bob Javea Old Town those nice people at the social Because they are narrow minded and CSA… Well, that’s what I did to my ex, with no sense of what is truly anyway AE stylish. Personally I wouldn't be magazine / 51

Dear Auntie Elsie, Me and my friends have been trying to hammer out the attributes of the ideal man. So far we have come up with: tall, witty, kind, keen on kids, intelligent, good job. Do you have any suggestions? Firstly its ‚my friends and I...‛ but I’m not here to teach you proper. Yes I do. The ideal man is devout and god-fearing. He lives out his religion in every aspect of his life spending most of his free time painting pensioners' houses or disciplining local louts. He reads the bible daily and attends church twice on Sundays - the only day when he does not work. His commitment to his family responsibilities is solid as a rock and he guides and disciplines his wife and children with a firm and loving hand. Also I think the ideal man should be over 80 and filthy rich. AE Dear Auntie Elsie, My boss, nice bloke that he is, thinks he's Cliff Richard. He's always walking along humming to himself, and he is about to enter one of those dreadful Pop Idol competitions and keeps buying tickets for Wimbledon. How can I let him know that, not only does he have a face for radio, he also has a voice best suited to howling into a force 10 gale, ie out of earshot? Thing is, I don't want to hurt his feelings. Elsie, Please help!! Ever thought that he may

actually be Cliff Richard? AA Dear Auntie Elsie, Have you seen that going to the pub and drinking a lot can apparently help your mental agility? At least that's what some University researchers think. Can it be true? If throwing up and wetting your trousers is classed as mental agility then yes AE Dear Auntie Elsie, Why do people consider it such a fashion crime to wear socks with open-toed sandals? Because they are narrow minded with no sense of what is truly stylish. Personally I wouldn't be seen in any other footwear combination, I prefer plastic sandals. So many colours AE

This is Auntie dispensing valuable advice to two hapless and very lost souls, including how support an elderly lady who has drunk far too many pints of Guinness! TMAV March 2010

DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN NOW CHANGE YOUR ELECTRICITY SUPPLIER?

THE SPANISH MARKET HAS RECENTLY BEEN OPENED UP TO ALLOW COMPETITION BETWEEN ELECTRICITY PROVIDERS AND YOU CAN NOW TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS. Please note that at the moment only customers with a ‘POTENCIA’ of 10Kw or more can change suppliers. Your ‘POTENCIA’ is shown on your Iberdrola bill. If you have ‘POTENCIA’ of over 10Kw you should consider changing – you could

save up to 25% on your existing bill! We can help you check your bill if you would like to bring it in.

IT COSTS NOTHING TO GET A QUOTE! IT COSTS NOTHING TO CHANGE! NO INTERRUPTION IN POWER SUPPLY! NO NEED TO SPEAK TO IBERDROLA! IT IS ALL DONE FOR YOU. HOW IT WORKS

Bring your electricity bill in, or email it to us, we will check it and organise a price comparison. After 7-10 days you will receive a reply from us recommending which suppliers are the best for you and how much you can save if you transfer to one of them. If you are interested you then fill in a simple form and we will go ahead and arrange the transfer ...It really is that simple!!!

Email us on n.gagejavea@gmail.com or call in at the shop in the port, Javea If you have a lower ‘potencia’, don’t despair! Towards the end of the year all consumers will be able to change. Give us your details and we will contact you at that time.

Forces Training... The following genuine quotes are from UK/US forces training manuals...

'Tracers work both ways.' - Army Ordnance Manual-

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal-

'Five second fuses last about three seconds.' Infantry Journal -

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' - US. Air Force Manual -

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. -Basic Flight Training Manual-

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.' - General MacArthur -

"If you never want to see a man

'You, you, and you ... panic. The rest of you, come with me.' - Infantry Sgt.-

children'. They leave skid marks."

again say, 'I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have

Rita Rudner TMAV March 2010

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...the Navy 'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.' - Naval Ops Manual -

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire' -Unknown Author-

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' - Unknown Infantry Recruit-

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.' - Fixed Wing Pilot-

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.' - Infantry Journal'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.' - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.' -Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

'When one engine fails on a twinengine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.' -Multi-Engine Training Manual'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.' -Unknown Author'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echoes.' If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.' -Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot"I could dance till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I'd rather dance with the cows till

New RAF training programme magazine / 55

you come home." Groucho Marx

...lark! 'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but if ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.' -Sign over Control Tower Door'Never trade luck for skill.' -AnonThe three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:â&#x20AC;&#x; Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and 'Oh S...!' -Authors Unknown-

'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.' -Basic Flight Training Manual'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.' - Emergency Checklist-

in the world; it can just barely kill you.' - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) 'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.' -Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.' - Leadin Fighter Training Manual As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?' The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." Woody Allen

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane TMAV March 2010

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Keith Lockyer of Shoot You Photographic and

Lynda Smith of Colour Works have put together a very special makeover package. A beautiful Makeover, and a stunning portrait of yourself taken in Keith's Studio in Javea Port. You will also get one FREE 8"x6" print. All for ONLY â&#x201A;Ź30. And 50% of that will go to MABS cancer charity.

For appointments please call Keith on H.966 197 132 M.646 557 480 magazine / 57

Remedies... The follow are fantastic home remedies that actually work...

...that work! Bruises

Experts say the popular muscle soreness remedy Burns Arnica is also your best You may know lavender bet for minimizing bruises essential oil (Lavandula and healing them fast. As angustifolia) best for its soon as you bump your soothing scent, but you can knee or other body part or notice a also use it to take the sting swelling or discoloration, gently rub a out of a first-degree burn (the kind dollop of this homeopathic cream on you might get by touching a hot pan). it. Arnica shrinks inflammation and Not only does this oil speed the increases circulation to flush away healing process and prevent the stagnant blood that turns your scarring, but it also fights bacteria on skin black and blue. vulnerable new skin. Gently clean the Dandruff burn with soap and water first. Then To clear up dandruff combine one part pure lavender you need to counter essential oil and three parts carrier the cause of the oil, like almond or olive oil, and apply problem: your the mixture liberally to the burn at scalp's acidic pH least three times a day, leaving the level. To restore wound uncovered. your scalp's natural alkaline pH level, Chapped or Sore Lips first wash and condition your hair. First, chuck your Then, while still in the shower or Chapstick. bath, pour a cup of apple cider Conventional lip vinegar on your head and rinse with balms contain water. petroleum and Cuts sometimes alcohol, both of which dry The antioxidant power that the sensitive skin on your lips. makes vitamin E so good Instead, moisturize and protect your for your heart also speeds parched, peeling lips with castor oil. the healing of minor cuts. Carry a small squeeze bottle of the oil and apply it with your finger often "When did I realize I was God? throughout the day. If you plan to be Well, I was praying and I suddenly out in the sun, use a natural petroleum- and alcohol-free balm realized I was talking to myself." with an SPF of 15 a few minutes Peter O'Toole after rubbing in the castor oil. TMAV March 2010

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More! Simply prick a vitamin E capsule with a sterile needle and squeeze the oil onto your cut at least three times a day. Cover it with a Band-Aid if it's a serious wound. Be sure to choose natural vitamin E (d-alpha tocopherol). Research shows that it has more antioxidant power than synthetic vitamin E. Dry Eyes You'll need to shed a few tears to remedy a case of dry eyes. And the easiest way to stimulate your tearing action is to apply moist heat to your eyelids. Dip a small towel or washcloth in warm water, wring it out, lie down, close your eyes, and put the cloth over your lids for 15 minutes. Do this two or three times a day or as needed. Eye Strain To revitalize tired eyes, treat yourself to a soothing chamomile (Matricaria recutita) compress twice a day. The chamomile soaks through your eyelids, soothing eye tissue and reducing swelling in the capillaries. Make the compress by steeping 1 teaspoon dried chamomile flowers or 1 chamomile tea bag in 1 cup boiling hot water for 20 minutes. Strain. Allow the tea to cool, soak a washcloth in it, wring it out, lie down, and place it over your closed eyes for 15 to 20 minutes. Headaches magazine / 59

Dull a tension headache by massaging a few drops of peppermint essential oil (Mentha piperita) into your temples. Peppermint works as well as 1,000 mg of acetaminophen, the main ingredient in aspirin, according to one German study. Herb experts don't know exactly how it works, but the peppermint appears to prevent your body from sending pain signals to your central nervous system. Heartburn You'll need to find a carpeted area for this heartburn remedy called a heel drop. This sounds strange, but it works. Roll up onto your toes as high as you can, and then allow your heels to quickly drop down onto the ground. Repeat this 20 to 30 times, holding onto the back of a chair for balance if you need to. The downward motion pulls the acid that causes heartburn back into your stomach. Insect Bites Relieve the itch from bug bites with an onion. The sulphur in onions neutralizes the chemicals "I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife." Ilie Nastase

even more! that cause the itch. Simply slice a yellow onion in half and rub one of the cut sides on the bite. The itching should stop immediately. Refrigerate the onion in a sealed container to use again if the itching resumes. Make a fresh slice before reapplying it. Joint Pain Capsaicin ointment, made from fiery cayenne peppers, can make your joints feel as good as new by interrupting pain signals. Rub the ointment into your joints every few hours. You may feel a mild burning sensation in your skin when you first apply it, but any discomfort will subside in a few minutes. Be sure to keep your hands away from your eyes until you've washed them thoroughly. Nosebleeds Halt a mild nosebleed in minutes with this simple, albeit strange trick. Tear a piece of brown paper from a grocery bag, place it inside your mouth between your top lip and your gum, and leave it there until your nose stops bleeding. No one knows why it works but people have used this trick successfully for 30 years. Warts This wart remedy may sound wacky, but it works. Gently rub the wart with

your finger for 15 seconds at the same time each day. Rubbing the wart stimulates blood flow to the area and prompts your immune system to fight the wart virus. Doing this at the same time every day trains your immune system to kick in on its own. Sunburn Your afternoon snack can also soothe your sunburn. Smearing yogurt on your skin as soon as it turns pink, cools your skin and reestablishes its pH balance so it heals faster. Use plain, full-fat yogurt that contains few additives. Let it sit on your skin until it warms up and then rinse it off with tepid water. Apply as often as needed.

Well, I hope these are helpful. I certainly will be using some of them for my ailments! "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." Groucho Marx TMAV March 2010

a D 50 VD Do c f ro n’ a tp n m ay ig u h m s t or ! e

Javea

This is not a temporary offer. This is our standard charge. 50c a night, any DVD, any night! We have a genuine 1500 DVD‟s in stock. Early and recent titles. No sign up fee! You‟ll find us in Javea Port, 1 roundabout up from the Dolphins

Amazing Facts... Would you believe it? receives more than 200 million search queries a day, more than half of which come from outside the United States. Peak traffic hours to google.com are between 6 a.m. and noon PST, when more than 2,000 search queries are answered a second. African Baobab tree's circumference can reach 180 feet. If the trunk is hollow, 20 people would be able to fit inside of it.

kilograms of gold each. In 1903 Mary Anderson invented windscreen wipers. Traveling by air is the safest means of transportation. In Johannesburg the average car will be involved in an accident once every four years.

There is no element on Mendeleev's (the current) periodic table of elements abbreviated, either partially, or fully, with the letter J.

The Hubble telescope is so powerful that it is like pointing a beam of light at a Japan uses the most energy per year dime that is two than any other country. hundred miles away. Back in 1919, the Russian transplant pioneer Serge Voronoff made The United States has headlines by grafting monkey paved enough roads to testicles onto human males. circle the Earth over 150 times. If all the gold sitting in the oceans and "Sex is one of the most seas were mined, every wholesome, beautiful and natural person on this planet would get experiences that money can buy." about 20 Steve Martin TMAV March 2010

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March 15, 1985. The world's first underground was the London Underground in1863. It has 275 stations and 253 miles of track. The largest diamond that was ever found was 3106 carats. Central air conditioners use 98% more energy than ceiling fans.

Using recycled aluminum cans and making news cans out of them saves 75% energy compared to making it from new material.

Just by recycling one aluminum can, enough energy would be saved to have a TV run for three hours. A jiffy is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Thus the saying, I will be there in a jiffy. ...And finally, there are six million parts in the Boeing 747-400! "My wife is a sex object. Every The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com on magazine / 63

time I ask for sex, she objects." Les Dawson

All about Olive Trees

...Olives

year-old trees have been documented. It rarely grows above 2,000 feet and requires full sunlight. Throughout history civilizations have It needs between eight-to-ten inches found endless possibilities for the of water per year to sustain itself, but olive tree and its fruit. The ancient can go for extended periods of time world used without it. Its olive oil for leaves are waxy cosmetic green on top, purposes, as fuzzy silver on the lamp fuel, bottom and soap, watertight. perfume and Therefore, if a even tree receives too medicine. It much water, it has is believed no way to shed it that the and will 2000 year old Olive trees Egyptians eventually perish. used olive oil This is the reason as a lubricant to move the massive why olive trees do not thrive in humid stones comprising the pyramids. climates. There is also speculation that the In Mediterranean countries it is often world's first agricultural machinery believed that the best way to care for was constructed to extract olive oil. an olive tree is to neglect it. Greeks and Romans used the pulp California proves that this is not that remained after an olive oil necessarily the case. In this state, pressing for animal feed, fertilizer which grows 99% of America's olives, and as a weed killer. Hard, dense trees are well-tended and yield olive wood has been used for approximately five to ten times more millennia to construct furniture, bowls fruit than their Mediterranean and cutlery. The Bible states that olive wood was used to erect the tabernacle at Solomon's temple. "When the authorities warn you of The deeply rooted, slowly maturing the dangers of having sex, there olive tree is as intriguing as the fruit it is an important lesson to be bears. The hearty, drought-tolerant learned. Do not have sex with the tree is a member of the evergreen authorities." family. Its average life span is Matt Groening between 300-600 years, but 1,000-

These amazing trees!

TMAV March 2010

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...oil counterparts! It takes 30 years for an

19th Century Illustration olive tree to bear fruit. At harvest, the olives are either picked by hand, pulled down with a specially designed wooden rake, or the branches are rapped to dislodge the fruit, which is collected in a mesh net arranged at the base of the tree. It might be tempting to feast on freshly harvested olives, but for anyone unfortunate enough to do so, it is something they will never do again. Uncured olives are extremely bitter due to the high concentration of phenolic compounds in their flesh. These compounds are separated naturally when the olive is pressed for oil, but curing is required if the olive is destined for the table. magazine / 65

Olive flesh is comprised of up to 30% oil and has the highest energy of all fruits, with 200 calories packed into every 100 grams. Like the avocado, its energy is derived from fat, not carbohydrates. The olive is rich in calcium and potassium, but also high in sodium. Its monounsaturated oil helps to lower bad cholesterol. So for those of you like me who could actually sit there and eat a whole tin load (especially the stuffed Anchovy ones!), you can now do so knowing they are doing you good and you no longer need to run the gauntlet of nagging about your „… eventual heart attack if you carry on like that…‟!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill

bo se ok le c s t i i on Fr n om J o a 1€ v f éa

Javea

We have over 25,000 secondhand and new books covering virtually all genres, in stock. Stock is changing daily. Book finding service. Large and airy shop. You‟ll find us in Javea Port, 1 roundabout up from the Dolphins

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on, in & around... The Marina Alta Camera Club www.macameraclub.com Contact: Tess Roberts, Secretary chris@chrisrobin.co.uk The Marina Alta Camera Club was formed in 2006 and we currently have about 30 members. We welcome members from all nationalities with photographic skills from beginner to professional. We are based in the Northern Costa Blanca area (Marina Alta) of the Valencia Comunitat of Spain. We usually meet on the first Thursday of the month at the Centro Social in Javea old town between 7.00pm and 9.30pm. Click here for a map of the location. There is a cafe on site that does not close until 10pm. The monthly meetings are for a social and instruction evening. We have regular field trips at other times. We have a practical evening on the third Thursday of the month between 7.30pm and 9.30pm. We have monthly themed competitions for those who wish to enter.

BASC Marina Alta www.bsacmarinaalta.co.uk Contact: Mary Saunders, Secretary marytonysaunders@hotmail.com We are a group of divers who belong to the British Sub Aqua Club and live here on the Costa Blanca. From highly experienced magazine / 67

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diving instructors to complete novices; from 16 - 70 years old; from Denia to Alicante; join us to learn an exciting new sport and make full use of your time in the Mediterranean and on holidays all over the world. The emphasis is on a club for divers who live here. We dive all year, have our own 6 diver RIB and a small catamaran. As well as potential trainees, we would also like to hear from divers and/or ex-divers who would like to start diving again. Social activities include ten-pin bowling, windsurfing, eating out, BBQs, snorkelling/swimming, daytrips, etc.

The Careline Theatre www.carelinetheatre.com Contact: Candy Wright Tel: 96 558 3951 kellykats_sl@hotmail.com Bringing the magic of theatre to the Costa Blanca. Founded in 1996, the Society has gone from strength to strength and boasts a membership of over 90 people. We are based at our theatre in Alcalali. We currently aim to produce three main shows a year -

Calling all clubs and Societies If you wish to include your details in this section for free, please write in to theeditor@vidapublications.com

...Clubs one in the Spring, usually in May, one in the Autumn and a Pantomime in January, for which we have become renowned. For many of our members it is being part of an exciting theatrical project that interests them. Whether your forte is acting, dancing, singing or assisting in other aspects of the production, there is something for you in Careline Theatre. As well as a strong adult membership, we have a very active junior section known as Careline Kids. Keeping in touch or finding out information has never been so easy our website covers everything you need to know about the Society, and our Contacts page is designed to give you the details of people, to ask any burning questions! The Forthcoming Production from

‘Cash on Delivery’ A comedy By Michael Cooney Directed by Jim Sissens Presented at The Alcalali Theatre 13th to 15th May

Javea Players www.javeaplayers.com enquiries@javeaplayers.com We are the oldest and arguably the premier amateur theatre group on the Costa Blanca. Our first production, „Murder by Request‟ was staged way back in 1976. We are based at our Studio Theatre where we audition, rehearse, build scenery, socialise and stage studio productions. We currently stage five productions a year: A Spring and Autumn production at the Union Musical, Gata. Two Studio Theatre productions and an outdoor Summer Show with dinner. We also produce a number of radio plays each year for local English language radio stations. In addition to full membership and junior membership (for those aged between 14 & 18), we have for those who are interested in the theatre but do not wish to play an active part in productions the option to become a 'Friend' of Jávea Players. “Abstract Art: A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.” Albert Camus TMAV March 2010

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...Associations Javéa International Civic Society javeacivicsoc@gmail.com Established June 1988, our bulletin keeps members informed about Civic matters such as Spanish Law, Residency, NIE, Rates, Traffic Laws, Health, Taxation, and general life here in Spain.

Javéa Computer Club www.javeacomputerclub.org javeacomputerclub@gmail.com The club meets at the Javea School of Bridge premises, Edificio Arenal 80, Bloque 1 (Sotano), Avda Tamarits, Javea, three times a week from 09.45am until around 12.30 on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Javéa Bridge Club Contact us on 96 646 3671 info@javeabridgeclub.com A long established club where the members pride themselves on good bridge, played in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. If you are thinking of taking up this fascinating game, we offer tuition for beginners by knowledgeable and experienced teachers. Alternatively, if you are already a player, we can offer magazine / 69

“workshop” type tuition to help your game improve. We look forward to welcoming you to our club soon.

Denia Rugby Club www.deniarugbyclub.com darcys@wanadoo.es Contact: Eddie D‟Arcy 96 642 3516/680 739 821 Denia Rugby Club play in Valencia League Two South. There are six teams in the League meaning 10 games are played on a home and away basis, with play-offs to follow against the teams from Valencia League Two North. Denia normally play their home games on Saturdays at 4pm, with away games normally on Sundays at 12 noon. Please check the website for details of all games and kick off times can vary.

Costa Blanca Mountain Friends www.costablancamountainfriends.com vic.warth@telefonica.net

...the small, fit, friendly and adventurous Mountain Activities Club in Spain. The “An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. “ Laurence J. Peter

& club was founded in 2004 by Vic Warth who started climbing in the Costa Blanca in 1989. From the mighty 1410 metre Puig Campana to Segària and Montgò, from the spectacular Serra de Bèrnia to the Monte Castellets, from the eerie Barranco del Infierno to the Ferrer Ridge, we participate in these Spanish Mountain Activities three times a week from October to June.

Club Deportivo Javea has been in existence in one form or another almost 90 years, serving as a community football club for all the people of Javea. Its continued existence is very much down to a small but dedicated group of volunteers who give up a huge chunk of their spare time to run this semi-professional football club for no reward other than seeing the rojiblancos remain a mainstay in the community.

Our group is multinational with British, German, Spanish, Danish and other nationalities visiting or Buenavista Tennis Club, Benissa living in Spain. Weekly attendance can vary between four and ten Contact: 96 574 7867 members depending on the circuit and weather! Costa Blanca Mountain An oasis for tennis lovers, Walking and Hiking, Rock set within a sheltered, scrambling, Canyoning or Via Ferrata secluded, valley, off the are included in most of our weekly programmes. coastal road between Moraira and Calpe, is this relaxed, Our Walking, Hiking and Scrambling informal tennis club that is very routes and Canyoning and Via friendly and welcoming. There are Ferrata routes cover the area from several clay courts set around a Dènia to Benidorm and inland to small club house, which is sociable Castell de Castells. and family-friendly, and where events Experienced hikers and members of are held throughout the year. There mountain clubs are welcome to join is a sauna, changing facilities, us for for most of our activities but showers, table-tennis and pool table. remember our standards....fit, friendly and adventurous! "It is just flipping unbelievable. He Javea Amigos is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely www.javeamigos.com human in his elusiveness. Nailing info@javeamigos.com Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall." Boris Johnson Contact: Mike Smith

TMAV March 2010

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...Societies La Sella Golf Club www.lasellagolf.com info:lasellagolf.com Contact: 96 645 4252 Situated on the slopes of a mountain lying next to the natural park of Montgo this 18-hole golf course with a par of 72 lies in a tranquil area. The Olive, Pine and Orange trees surrounding the course, whilst providing wonderful scenery, will catch out the less accurate players Should you feel your skills need updating a little, then private lessons are available at this all year round course. Other services include a driving range with 25 bays, a putting green and practice bunker. The course is suitable for all levels of players, and if you know how to use the full range of clubs then you should achieve a decent score. Jose Maria Olazabal designed 9 of the holes, some particularly thought provoking as if you miss the green, all the skills of Championship player are needed to get back on track.

Javea Golf Club www.clubdegolfjavea.com golfenjavea@wanadoo.es The course was designed by Francisco Moreno magazine / 71

and opened in 1981. Situated 100 kilometres from Alicante on the way to Valencia, and sheltered from the wind by Cape San Antonio, the course has a perfect microclimate all the year round, and is located in a wonderful natural setting, surrounded by pinewoods. The course is a gently sloping 9 hole course with well-maintained greens and fairways flanked by palm trees, pine trees and orange trees. Although it has only 9 holes, on the second time around or back nine, many of the holes are played from different tees making it virtually an 18 hole course. Also the 4th / 13th green is large enough to accommodate two separate pin positions for each hole. The 6th presents difficulties, a par 4 with splendid views from a plateau green requiring a safe and precise drive to the dogleg. The 120 metre 16th is the shortest hole and the 475 metre 5th is the longest. Although it is not very long, it is certainly challenging as it is plagued by bunkers nearly all the way round 34 in total, and all of the greens have subtle runs, many of which are difficult to read. "My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters." Boris Johnson

the

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the

directory THE ESSENTIAL BUSINESS GUIDE TO THE MARINA ALTA CLICK ON THE AD BOXES FOR DIRECT LINKS

TMAV March 2010

Javea

Well here we are in 2010 and still going strong, so we must be doing something right! Despite the gloomy economic climate, our customers tell us they still enjoy our shop which is what we set out to achieve. Our stock of nearly 20,000 books changes almost daily and it‟s fair to say we cover pretty much all the main genres, including a massive range of children‟s books. Our DVD rentals are by far the lowest cost around at 50c a night, around a third of the normal price and we have a genuine 1,500 (and growing) titles in stock. We also have a super-fast internet café, again at low prices, but more importantly, in a comfortable quiet and relaxed atmosphere. Come in and see us. We‟d love to say hello.

Avda Rey Jaime 1, 23 Javea Port, 03730 Tel: 96 579 1060 Fax: 96 579 1060 Email: n.gagejavea@gmail.com

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Then of course, there‟s all the other things going on in - there‟s always something new! Greetings Cards

Mail Service

Plus...

The best selection in Javea by far, with unusual brands only available in our shop.

Using the Spanish Correos with post-box outside, or Royal Mail via Offex.

Other businesses within the shop…

Fast Internet Cafe We have the latest computers and a super-fast connection. Use ours or bring your laptop. Comfortable, quiet surroundings.

DVD Film rentals Best range of genres in Javea. Absolutely FREE membership and only 50c per night per movie. No-one beats that!

Mailboxes Printing Service Photocopying, laminating, printing including agency class design and artwork.

Ink Cartridges Large stock held for Epson, Canon and HP. All the usual models catered for. Compatibles that do work or your money back!

Problems with receiving mail? We‟ll take your mail in for you.

Property Window No commission display in the primary selling position in Javéa.

Confectionery English Sweets and chocolates.

...the utterly brilliant web design co...

Welcome to FLATPAXABIA ! We are not IKEA, but we will certainly shop there for you. Our aim is to provide a personal and professional service. But don‟t take our word for it. See our REFERENCES page on our website! FLATPAXABIA is an independent collection, delivery and assembly service based in the Jávea/Xàbia area, shopping at the Murcia IKEA store and offering an on-line, telephone or fax ordering service saving you the hassle of driving to the store, searching for parking spaces and standing in queues all day. Area of Cover Standard Area/Costa Blanca includes: Javea, Jalon, Alcalali, Denia, Oliva, Ondara, Gata, Pedregeur, Benissa, Benitachell, Moraira, Calpe and Altea. For other areas you will be charged a “distance surcharge” of 1€ per km. If in doubt please contact us. Standard Area/Costa Calida includes: Mula, Camposol, Lorca, Totana, Mazarron inc. Puerto, Cartagena, Elche, La Manga, Aguilas, Torrevieja, Los Alcazares, Fuente Alamo, Alhama de Murcia, Vera, Los Lobos, Puerto Lumbreras, La Union, San Javier. For other areas you will be charged a “distance surcharge” of 1€ per km. If in doubt please contact us. Our standard area also includes: 10Km on either side of the E15 motorway between the two areas i.e. from Gandia in the North to Vera in the South. If in doubt please contact us. We shop at IKEA on a weekly basis, so you never have to wait long for your order.

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Calling all mums!!! Everyone who is expecting a baby, or who already has young children, knows all too well how expensive it is to buy clothes and equipment for our little darlings here in Spain.

Rentals have a huge stock of items for rent including cots and travel cots, stair-gates, car seats and many other items needed to make your stay more comfortable for you and your family.

We are located in N-Gage in Javea Port Call Michelle on: 679042692and see our website: www.krazykidz.es

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Hair there and everywhere At Hair there and everywhere mobile hairdressing we believe in much more than just giving you a fantastic haircut, we believe in creating a style that suits not only you, but also your lifestyle. Today's tough demands mean that you are consistently under pressure to be both confident and energetic in order to succeed; the very essence of Hair there and everywhere mobile hairdressing's services is to provide you with personalised consultations, dynamic cuts and fashionable styles that give you the confidence, energy and freedom to enjoy those elements of life that are important to you. All in the comfort of your own home!

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The forum was created for parents living in the beautiful Northern Costa Blanca, in Eastern Spain - covering areas such as Javea, Denia, Calpe, Benitachell, Jalon, Moraira, Gata and inland. We can all learn from each other and share information to help our children and families, to help us all get the most out of our quality of life here in Spain. If you have any connection with the area, whether you live here or are thinking of a move, please join us and the conversations going on in the various forums. We called it The Old School Gate because that is traditionally the hub of all the playground gossip and insider info - and not just for the kids! Especially when starting in a new community, parents rely on the connections and communications forged by contacting others with whom they already have something in common... and what better shared connection than having kids at the same school? The Costa Blanca has a growing and vibrant English speaking community, some of it seasonal, others of us making this beautiful part of Spain our year round home. Come and tell us about the Costa Blanca you know and love, help us all discover new corners of the area to enjoy and explore... If you'd like a dedicated board for your school please just drop the administrator a private message and we'll sort that out for you - the more the merrier. Some things will of course relate to your school and that's the right place to bring them up, but if it would interest or help other parents and potential parents please consider posting in 'general chat' instead, Thanks for your support The Old School Gate team at

www.theoldschoolgate.com

Thank you for surfing our March Issue. Should you wish to contact us please call us on: 96 579 1060 or email us at: theeditor@vidapublications.com Alternatively, call in and see us at N-GAGE in Javea Port.

If you are looking for the most effective form of advertising in the Marina Alta area, please contact us as above or email us at: marketing@vidapublications.com