October 11, 2012

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W

ildwood

M a g a z i n e

Thursday, October 11, 2012

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Published Every Thursday

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Volume 3, No 30


Weichert, Realtors

®

Hoey Group

3300 Pacific Avenue, Wildwood 08260 609-523-1112

“Be sure to drop by to see me at my new office. I’m looking forward to the upcoming season as I join the Weichert team!”

COLLEEN WILSON BROKER ASSOCIATE

Cell: 609-602-2008 Email:Colleen-wilson@comcast.net www.FromBeachToBay.net Website: www.WRCoastal.com page 2

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OCTOBER 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 19, 20, 26 AND 27. transforms pier! Mariner’s Landing the r fea to s son rea re th even mo orey’s FEARS returns wi nights in October. into a nightmare for NINE 446c cruise on the Ghost Ship, CP50pti on a cry rk ba em aran (R) rnstalkers, es, rid te Catamou ori fav arslk your gh Co 00w.FeSta ons of 5.cre ati thr $2 arn CP50448 inc rk da d ter rse un ) cu co e (R th the You’ll en Shsorwi un Theter co en At s se ar rea inc Fe rror Trench! to Te lls 00 2 45 r hu $25. he ed attraction ist ive lus ainvetw exc er es ce ag m oth Ti an ich50 onFe ce ile whCP en M eri ars Se n d NEW for 2012 - exp $25.00 thr creep (R) ough CarnEvil an

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wildwoodmag.com

Morey’s FEARS is a general admission gated event. Not recommended for Children under the age of 8.

page 3


Table of Contents

4 Season’s 17 Back to Roots 23 Bagel Time 20 Boathouse 22 Bolero Fitness 11 Bolero Fitness 11 Bonelli’s Market 19 Bonelli’s Market 19 Cafe Italia 23 Cape 47 14 Cape Islands 7 Center City Video 12 Colleen Wilson. Weichert Realty 2 Crest Tavern 11 Cricket Wireless 20

Dino Martino Photography 20 Elite Public Adjusters 16 Firehouse Tavern 10 Flip Flopz 9 Fun & Games 8 Italian Kitchen Express 10 Jim The Roofer 23 Key West Cafe 19 Martino’s 11 Matthew’s Heating & Cooling 17 McShaffrey Masonry 15 McShaffry Masonry & Concrete 15 Michael’s Fabricare 13 Morey’s Piers 3 O’Boyle’s Irish Pub 13

O’Neill Painting 19 Photo Retouch 16 Q-Fire Grille 5 Rep’s Heating and Cooling 6 Shoobies 15 Star Diner 17 Sushi Ukai 14 The Gym 23 The Hardware Store 23 Useless Information 21 Weather Forecast 4 Wicker Warehouse 23 Wildwood Nostalgia & Recipes 12 Wildwood Sign 24 Zippy’s Bike Exchange 15

Wildwood

Published every Thursday. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication including copy, artwork, photos and advertisements may be reproduced without permission of the publisher. The publisher will not be responsible for misinformation, typographical errors, etc. which might appear in advertising. We retain the right to refuse any advertising.

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Wildwood Magazine 511 W. Rio Grande Ave. Wildwood, NJ 08260 609-770-2440 Phone • 1-877-348-9289 Fax www.WildwoodMag.com

Thursday,

M a g a z i n e

October 11, 2012

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Every Thurs day

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Volume 3, No 30

wildwoodma

facebook.com

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g

/wildwoodma

g

oodMag.co

m

Wildwood weather forecast according to weather.com So... if it’s wrong, don’t blame us.

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

High 74° High 71° High 68° High 66° High 67° High 68° High 71° Low 61° Low 60° Low 60° Low 58° Low 55° Low 58° Low 59° Mainly cloudy. A stray shower or thunderstorm is possible. High 74F. Winds N at 5 to 10 mph.

page 4

Partly cloudy, chance of a thunderstorm. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the low 60s.

Scattered thunderstorms. Highs in the upper 60s and lows in the low 60s.

Showers. Highs in the mid 60s and lows in the upper 50s.

wildwoodmag.com

Scattered thunderstorms. Highs in the upper 60s and lows in the mid 50s.

Times of sun and clouds. Highs in the upper 60s and lows in the upper 50s.

Mostly sunny. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the upper 50s.


Half Price Drinks 4 to 6

Best Hot Wings and BBQ Shrimp I’ve ever had Joe Shamong • PittSburgh, Pa

Open Wed. thru Sun. from 4 pm • 513 W. Rio Grande Ave., Wildwood • (609) 522-3055

Billy & Matthew @ NW Rec.

Aiden & Gina @ NW Rec.

Brinnlyn & Corine @ NW Rec.

Bobbie @ Super Fresh

wildwoodmag.com

page 5


Cathy, Ann & Joe @ NW Rec.

Charlene @ Acme

Eric & Riley @ NW Rec.

Elks golf tournament

Get Ready for the Cold..

REP’S Heating • Cooling • Refrigeration

609.231.8059 With A REP you cAn tRuSt

Save energy & money by maintaining peak heating performance!

Complete Repair Coverage Heating & Cooling 24 Hour Service 7 Days a Week No Overtime Charges

• • • •

Don’t get stuck in the cold have your heater checked now

Winter Tune-up Special $125.00 Not valid with any other offer.

page 6

wildwoodmag.com

Service on your heating and cooling systems available 24 hours a day. Repairs or replacements on all makes and models Free replacement equipement estimates Money saving hybrid heating and cooling systems.


Put your photos in Wildwood Magazine!

With our easy photo uploader on our website www.wildwoodmag.com

South Jersey’s Full Service Emergency Restoration Company

From Disaster to Restored We Move QUICK To Get Life Back To Normal

Carpet, Upholstery & Hard Surface Cleaning

Over 25 Years Experience • Commercial • Residential

• New Construction • Renovations • Kitchens • Baths • Decks • Fire, Flood, Storm & Wind Damage • Water & Fire Restorations

Emergency Response 24/7/365

Call NOW for a no obligation FREE ESTIMATE 609-522-5500 or 609-398-7500

PO Box 1435, Wildwood, NJ 08260 611 New Road, Somers Point, NJ 08244 Info@capeislands.com • www.capeislands.com Licensed & insured #13VH05729700

wildwoodmag.com

page 7


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Rambler

Crocus

Preston

Jefferson

Pacific

Topeka

Columbine

Rosemary

Forget Me Not

Cardinal

Fern

Wisteria

Stockton

Orchid

Hollywood

Newark

Stanton

Farragut

Trenton

Atlanta

Aster

Syracuse

Lavender

Buttercup

Solution Pg 15

Evan @ Acme

page 8

Gavin & Gabe (twins) @ NW Rec.

wildwoodmag.com


Elks golf to

urnament

Dawn @ Super Fresh

Not just a nightclub!

Open Daily 11:00AM Lunch Specials $5.99 Sun.-Thurs.  Breakfast Sat.&Sun 8 AM  Tiki Topz Open Daily at 11 

106 W. Spruce Ave. North Wildwood, NJ www.flipflopzbarandgrill.com

Voted Best Crab Cakes in South Jersey!

Harry & Ed @ NW Senior Center

Harry @ NW Senior Center

wildwoodmag.com

page 9


Firehouse Tavern

The Original Owner, Carlo Rosauri is back with his Famous Pizza & Dishes

ITALIAN KITCHEN Express

We’re Just a Little Bar on a Big Island ICE COLD HOT & COLD PACKAGE BEER SANDWICHES GOODS Try Our Homemade Pork & Spinach Sandwich Park Blvd. at Pine • Wildwood • 729-9487

3104 Pacific Avenue Wildwood, NJ 08260

609 • 522 • 0025

(609) 522-6511 3111 Avenue He len @Pacific Super Fresh

Wildwood, NJ 08260

Free Beach & Hotel Delivery Must Meet Driver on any street for beach deliveries. Please know the street name when ordering. Must provide a cell phone number so we can call you.

• TAKE OUT •

FA S T F R E E D E L I V E R Y

WILDWOOD NEW JERSEY AVE.

Open 7 Days a Week 11 am to Late Night

PACIFIC AVE.

WILDWOOD CREST

E. Juniper Ave E. Poplar Ave. E. Magnolia Ave. E. Glenwood Ave. E. Maple Ave. E. Pine Ave. E. Wildwood Ave. E. Oak Ave. E. Schellenger Ave. E. Lincoln Ave.

$10 Min. Delivery

MINIMUM $10 ON ALL DELIVERIES

Fat Boys Pizza BEACH

Check us Out Online at

ItalianKitchenExpress.com page 10

wildwoodmag.com

ATLANTIC AVE. OCEAN AVE.

OPEN 8 AM 'TIL LATE NIGHT


No Appointments

Martino’s Keeping It Real Since 1957

B a r b e r

S h o p

609-729-3636

2305 New Jersey Avenue North Wildwood, NJ 08260

NJ LOTTERY • PACKAGE GOODS

Check Out Our Daily Specials

HAPPY HOUR Monday - Thursday

North Wildwood House Fire

2 to 5 pm Food & Drink Specials 9400 Pacific Ave., Wildwood Crest (609) 522-1200 www.cresttavern.com

Bolero Fitness Open Year Round 10,000 Square Foot Facility Located on the 7th Floor

Featuring: Over 11,000 Lbs. Of Weights Free Weights & Machines Indoor Rooftop Pool - Hot Tubs Stand-Up Tanning Bed - Steam Room

Cardio Room

Treadmills -Elliptical Stationary Bikes - Stepper Rowing Machine

No Long Term Contracts

Certified Massage Therapists

Open 9am to 10pm Daily 3320 Atlantic Avenue Wildwood, NJ 08260 (609) 522-9220

No Sign Up Fees

Jim & John @ NW Senior Center

wildwoodmag.com

page 11


CENTER CITY VIDEO OUTLET

3115 Pacific Ave., Wildwood • 609-522-2253 Largest Selection of Adult Novelties in Cape May County

Adult Movie Section

NO LATE FEES

Alva Karl and Billie Hewitt

Staller at the 50+ Class Reunion

NO MEMBERSHIP FEES

Unli

Largest Video Store on the Island

C

Includes Free Graphics from Wildwood Sign & Design

REGULAR DVD SPECIALS

Entire Room of Adult DVD’s

WITH COUPON ON SELECT TITLES

WITH COUPON

1 FOR $5 • 2 FOR $8 • 3 FOR $9.99

Bob Mangino, Marlene Koste k Humphries and Rich Snyder at 50+ Class Reunion

1 FOR $7.99 • 3 FOR $20.00

OPEN ALL YEAR • OPEN DAILY FROM 10AM

Dottie Strickland Garrabrandt, Susan Wanninger McDowell, Frank Vogel, Judy Johnson Aspenberger and Peg Vogel at the 50+ Class Reunion

To Purchase Book Visit: www.tasteofwildwood.com tasteofwildwood@aol.com

and John Jacobs, Bob Mangino, Frank Vogel nion Cookie and Bob Hogarth at 50+ Class Reu page 12

wildwoodmag.com

Phone/Fax: (610) 395-0010 Cell: (610) 533-0699

Featur Requir The re everyw


NOW SERVING BREAKFAST

Mon. - Thurs. 8 to 11 am, Fri., Sat. & Sun. 8 am to ?? • 2 Eggs & Homefries, toast $1.99 • 3 Pancakes $1.99 8 am - 9 am • Egg cheese bacon on english muffin $1.99 SPECIALS $1.99 Mimosas • $2.50 Bloody Mary’s

IRISH PUB 26TH AND PARK BLVD. NORTH WILDWOOD 609 7295900

Monday - Fish cake platter .......................... $7.99 with french fries and cole slaw Tuesday - Meatloaf ...................................... $8.99 with mashed potatoes and vegetables Wednesday ........................................... 40¢ Wings Thursday ..........................................Pot Pie Night

Dinner Special

Lunch Special

A Select Sandwich with Mon. thru Thurs. Dinner with a cup of fries or soup and a mug of domestic beer soup du jour

9.99

$

6.99

$

BAR & APPETIZER SPECIALS AT MLB PLAYOFFS & EAGLES GAMES

DJ Timmy Otto

Joan @ Acme

Friday & Saturday Night

Welcome Oldies Weekend Crowd

$1 DOGS ARE BACK!

Happy Hour Monday - Friday DOMESTIC MUGS $1.50 DOMESTIC BOTTLES $2.00 ALL HAPPY HOUR FOOD & DRINK ONLY AT BAR

HAVING AN AFFAIR?

BIRTHDAY PARTIES • BABY AND WEDDING SHOWERS • WAKES • BAPTISMAL PARTIES, ETC.

Joe @ NW Senior Center

wildwoodmag.com

page 13


UKAI

CAPE

47

3.5% Sales Tax in Wildwood

Asian Restaurant Fusion Cuisine, Teriyaki, Thai Cuisine, and More

Lumber, Fence & Stone Co. WHOLESALE - RETAIL Drywall, Hardware & Building Materials

609-770-7773

CHECK OUT OUR PRODUCTS • Air Filters • Bed Bug Supplies • Bicycles New and Used • Composite Decking • Doors (Ext. and Int.) • Flags, Flag Poles, Holders • Fire Extinguishers • Flotation Billets • Dock Hardware

TREATED LUMBER ON SALE!!

• Insulation • Keys Made • Metal Studs • Moldings • Roofing Shgingles • Tarps • Trash Cans & Bags • Weber Grills

KEYS MADE HERE

1500 Rt. 47 South

(in the Shop Rite shopping plaza, next to Dollar Tree)

www.SushiUkai.com Reservations Available

credit cards accepted

Must Bring Coupon

Not to be combined with any other offer.

20% Off Wildwood Magazine

Take Out & Dining Exp. 9/30/12

IT’S BACK & HUGER THAN EVER!

18TH ANUAL HUGE TARP SALE! 25 Different Sizes from $3.49

Josh & Emilio @ Acme

MEN’S BEACH CRUISER EW $125.99 Used ND

BRA

N

Roberts & New Jersey Aves. Wildwood, 522-8395 Mon-Fri 7:30am-5pm • Sat 8-4 Sunday 9-2 (Wildwood Only)

Bikes Available

416 State Hwy. 47 South Green Creek, 889-9090 Mon-Fri 7am-5pm • Sat 8am-1pm Closed Sunday

Lee @ Acme page 14

wildwoodmag.com


3436 SHOOBIES ad2010ok.qxd:Layout 1

4/17/10

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Follow us on Facebook for special offers and video specials

Voted ch n e BrseystShorLeuMagazine

Page 1

Sandwiches, Burgers, Salads, Specials. We Deliver

Je

Monday Thru Thursday 11am-2:30 pm Friday 11 am-4 pm • Saturday 11 am-5 pm Sunday Closed

Open On Mondays Starting April 28

Vo d Best Bte urg Free TIm e

er

A new eatery at 25th and New Jersey Aves. In always sunny North Wildwood, NJ

609.522.7466(SHOO) www.shoobiesgoodeats.com Check or call for Blackboard Specials

Liz & Steve @ NW Rec.

Lilly & Ruby NW Rec.

Wildwood Crest Streets D

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Jefferson

Pacific

Topeka

Columbine

Rosemary

Forget Me Not

Cardinal

Fern

Wisteria

Stockton

Orchid

Hollywood

Newark

Stanton

Farragut

Trenton

Atlanta

Aster

Syracuse

Lavender

Buttercup

wildwoodmag.com

page 15


DO YOU HAVE STORM D

No Recovery/No Fee

Let Us Get You The

MAXIMUM SETTLEMENT!!!

BROKEN PIPES•WIND•SMOK

FREE CONSULTATION &

Elite PUBLIC ADJUSTERS, INC. CAPE MAY COUNTY’S PUBLIC ADJUSTER

Serving Cape May Co. for over 20 years. • Bill O’Connell, President

Madison, Johanna and Sage @ NW Rec.

Mary & Sandy @ Acme

Professional Photo Retouching by Wildwood Magazine

Josh & Emilio (Before)

page 16

Josh & Emilio (After)

In an effort to raise money, Wildwood Magazine is offering professional photo retouching by our professional graphic artists. With this service you can cover flaws and imperfections in otherwise good photos. We haven’t set prices yet, but we are very negotiable if you can pay cash in advance. Call us today 609-522-6222 to arrange a consultation.

6 (6

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DAMAGE?

STORM DAMAG E?

KE•WATER•FIRE

INSPECTION!!!

609-522-1954 609) 780-1500

www.ElitePublicAdjusters.com

609.770.8587 Office 609.435.5227 Fax

Matthew Klenicki 609.602.5489 Cell

www.MatthewsHeatingAndAir.net

Matt @ Acme

Confucius say: Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient. You know you’re really drunk if you can’t lie on the floor without holding on.

Open Year Round Serving Breakfast Lunch & Dinner Voted Best of the Shore “Diner” -Philadelphia Magazine 2006 & 2010

Early Bird Specials 3-5:30pm daily

Blackboard and Full Course Dinner Specials

325 West Spruce Avenue • North Wildwood 609-729-4900 Fax 609-729-4050 Major Credit Cards Accepted Take Out Available www.stardinercafe.com

wildwoodmag.com

page 17


Nancy @ Super Fresh

Shirley, Rusty, Jack & Em Center

me @ NW Senior

Stig & Kevin @ Acme

Vince @ NW Senior Center

Tom @ Acme page 18

wildwoodmag.com


A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

Herald Newspapers June 2 2010

Wildwo

Center

BONELLI'S MARKET Home of the “Old World Hoagie” Delusso Salami, Dry Cured Cappicola, Proscuitto, Imported Provolone, Romain, sweet onions, tomato, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, oregano, black pepper

8 $ 95 8

$

“ T H E G A E TA N O ”

Parma Proseuitto, Fresh Mozzarella, Store Roasted Peppers, Tomatoes, Pesto Sauce

Key West Café Key West

od Rosie & Elaine @ NW Herald Newspapers June 2 2010 Senior

Vincent & Matteo @ NW Rec.

50

THE “CUBAN SANDWICH”

OPEN DAILY YEAR ROUND 7AM-2PM Serving Breakfast & Lunch

Café HAPPY HOUR

OPENMon. DAILY YEAR ROUND -7AM-9PM Fri. • 7am - 10am 2 eggs • 2 pancakes • 2 pieces of bacon

Serving Breakfast & Lunch

Fra De 20 LB. LUNCH MEAT Bananas Cit BAG OF SPECIAL X-LONG GRAIN 59¢ Mu RICE $ 99 5 for Comes With$5 Eggs co 9.99 GALLON OF MILK 5 Fra 3.99 and Choice of Bacon, Choose 1of 5 Sandwiches Store Made Hot & Margarine Oldies Weekend Spring Water Sweet Italian Sausage Quarters Sausage or Ham De Soup • Mon.-Fri. Crowds Plus Welcome! Cup of 3.99 3.99 1 lb. .99 (Cannot be combined with any other offer.) Cit OUTDOOR SEATING AND PARKING on Pacific Ave Parking Lot! (Just Next Door) ofAvailable Andrew &&Pacific Aves.c Aves., CornerCorner of Andrew Paci½ for Banquets and Weddings . . . Call (609) 729-5301 Mu 4000 Pacific Ave. (At Spencer Ave.) Wildwood • 522-5118 5 for $5 co Wildwood • 522-5006 Wildwood • 609-522-5006 Choose 1of 5 Sandwiches page Plus Cup of Soup • Mon.-Fri. wildwoodmag.com 19 (Cannot be combined with any other offer.) tio Roast Pork, Imported Ham, Genoa Salami and Swiss Cheese with mstard sauce and pickles. Then pressed.

7

$

95

1 LB. HAM 1 LB. AM. CHEESE

LB.

2 lbs. total

$

$

$

LB.

$

24-16 oz. Bot

2.22

Regularly $4.50 All You Can Eat Hotcakes

NOW

$

$5.99

GET YOUR DAILY RACING FORM HERE!!

Joy Buffet

3 B 3


BAGEL TIME CAFE & DELI

OPEN DAILY 7AM-2PM

AT THE OLD ATLANTIC RESTAURANT W NO N! BURK & ATLANTIC IN WILDWOOD PE

O

WE DELIVER! Welcom e Oldies Weeken d

Will @ Acme

CENTER CITY OUTLET Ask About ourVIDEO Deli Special

3115 Pacific Ave., Wildwood • 609-522-2253

Unlimited Talk & Text

Largest Selection of Adult Novelties in Cape May County

Best Bagels NO In Town! LATE FEES

LY Movie Section TOTALAdult

REMODELED! NO MEMBERSHIP 609-523-6700 FEES

Buy Dozen Bagels Largest1Video Store on the Island REGULAR DVD SPECIALS Get 1/4 Dozen Free 1 FOR $5 • 2 FOR $8 • 3 FOR $9.99 WITHExp. COUPON ON SELECT TITLES 10/31/12

page 20

OPEN ALL YEAR • OPEN DAILY FROM 10AM

$30

month

Free Phone

after rebate

Unlimited International Calling $10 month

no signed contracts. no overages americas most affordable 3G network.

Center City Video Outlet

3115 Pacific Avenue • Wildwood • (609) 522-2253 (corner of pine & pacific) OPEN DAILY FROM 10AM Features will vary by phone and rate plan. Terms, conditions & other restrictions apply. See store for details. Service: Requires $15 activation fee. Rates exclude taxes & fees (including a regulatory recovery fee of up to $1.40). The regulatory recovery fee is not a tax or government-required charge. 3G & unlimited coverage not available everywhere; coverage maps at mycricket. com.

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l’s e g o V k n a r More of F

Useless Information 50+ CLUB DINNER We had our 50 year class reunion over the weekend. Uries on Saturday night and the Convention Center for the “Official” reunion. Both were very nice. The staff at Uries did a sensational job . . . COULD NOT HAVE BEEN BETTER. Kudos to Kevin Combs and his staff. Most of the class seemed to like the Uries affair better. Smaller room, more intimate. Great hors d’oeuvres and raw bar. Plus entertainment by DJ Ed McDonough. The Convention Center was also good, but the cavernous room took a lot of the intimacy away from the event. Plus the room was divided in half by a giant wall with half the group on each side of the wall. You have to remember that when you attending a dinner for 250 people, it’s just not the same as having dinner in a good restaurant. The food was warm, baked potatoes cold (hard to do), small plate of lettuce that was actually supposed to be caesar salad. Hey, I understand that when you feeding 250 people, it’s just not easy. BUT, there’s always a BUT, some changes should be made. The inimitable Tom Hall ordered a Budweiser. Sorry no Budweiser even though it’s the number one selling beer in the world. Someone else ordered a Pinot Grigio. Sorry, only one white wine (Chardonnay). I ordered a martini. Sorry, no martini glasses. Plus, 2 bartenders for 250 people. Overall, it was a nice event, even quirky in a sense. The odd thing about the night was that there were less than 30 words spoken by anyone. Our class president, Buddy Gatewood, got up and asked the class of 1962 to please stand. We stood to mild applause, and that was that. No speeches, no accolades given, just dinner and a little dancing. Nice night . . . just getting together with old friends for reminiscing.

CHINA . . . THE NEW JAPAN? Most of you don’t remember way back to the 50’s when the country was trying to recover from WWII and the Korean war. Remember transistor radios from Japan. They were awful. Cheap comes to mind. Now we have everything being made in China . . . I mean everything. And it’s #@%&. Light bulbs that blow up or don’t work at all. Lead in the toys our children play with. The phrase “Made in the U.S.A.” now really means something. When I see “Made in China”, I know it’s going to be cheap. When you buy something . . . make sure USA is on the label.

What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. Diogenes

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: FLOOR 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: FLOOR 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. ‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’ So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: FLOOR 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. ‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: FLOOR 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework ‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: FLOOR 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: FLOOR 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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old Kevin and Michelle Mitchell with 1 year daughter Leyla

from Paula and Pete Erlandson came all the way Oklahoma to attend 50+ Class Reunion page 22

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Nancy Pillers, Sue Hill, Irma Pagonis and Cookie MacDonald Hogarth

Little Leyla Mitchell . . . 1 year old


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