40 19 willamette week, march 12, 2014

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WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“LOOK, I MADE YOU SOMETHING OUT OF CHEESE.” P. 41

A REQUIEM FOR JIGGLES

THE BOOZE-FREE STRIP CLUB that LOCAL TEENS TURNED INTO AN ICON.

by Jay Horton | page 12

wweek.com

VOL 40/19 03.12.2014

P. 7

emma browne

NEWS jamming the jail’s medical costs.

FOOD THE BEST MACARONS. CULTURE LOCAL GARDEN GEAR.

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COLIN MCLAUGHLIN

CONTENT

WOOP! WOOP!: The tensions between hip-hop artists and police in Portland runs deeper than the Blue Monk. Page 27.

NEWS

4

MUSIC

27

LEAD STORY

12

PERFORMANCE 41

CULTURE

19

MOVIES

46

FOOD & DRINK

22

CLASSIFIEDS

52

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh, Kate Willson Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Jessica Pedrosa Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Books Penelope Bass Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Kathryn Peifer, Cambria Roth, Brendan Welch

www.cobblerbills.com CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, Nina Lary, Mitch Lillie, John Locanthi, Enid Spitz, Grace Stainback, Mark Stock, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Kathleen Marie Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Amy Martin, Xel Moore, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Emma Browne, Will Corwin ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Scott Wagner Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Ginger Craft, Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan, Andrew Shenker Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Steph Barnhart Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference.

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MAIN STORE 706 SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD / 503.233.5973 / M-F 10-7 SAT 10-5 SUN 12-5 OUTLET STORE 534 SE BELMONT, 503.446.2205 / RIVERCITYBICYCLES.COM / OPEN EVERY DAY Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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INBOX

GET OUT. Get Answers.

GET COVERED.

The March 31st deadline for health insurance is coming fast. That’s why we’re coming to your neighborhood with the PacificSource Get Out, Get Covered Tour. Drop in, grab a bite, get answers and get enrolled in an affordable plan, all before the deadline.

PDX’S $272,514 FIRE EMPLOYEE

Why does this crap still go on? [“Getting Totally Hosed,” WW, March 5, 2014.] I am all for fairly compensating firefighters, but a $132,000 pension? All while actually keeping your job and doubling that amount?

We need to reform so such double-dipping is not possible. If you are still working for a government entity, you can’t collect a paycheck and a pension, done and done.

If anyone wonders why property taxes (and rents) in Portland are heading up, you merely need to look at the huge percentages of your property taxes that go to fund police and fire pensions, all so jerks like Mark Schmidt can double-dip and stick it to the public.

Mayor Charlie Hales and the City Council need to make fixing this a priority, like right now.

“Firegod” This is legal thievery. The guy applied for the new job before he had even retired; he knew exactly what he was doing. “twestdown”

TYCOON BRINGING US FOOTBALL

Great article; I wanna have a beer with Terry Emmert sometime [“Touchdown Terry,” WW, March 5, 2014]. Here is my tip: Add helmet cams to the [Portland Thunder’s] quarterback and middle linebacker like they had in the old Canadian Football League.

“Bradley Jenkins”

businessman who votes Republican. OMG! “James Hedman”

HOMELESS CAMP’S RELOCATION

The Interstate Avenue corridor is already overloaded with multiple motels that serve low-income housing dwellers [“Camping Trip,” WW, March 5, 2014]. To add a homeless camp to another Interstate site such as the one proposed on North Albina Avenue or another on North Russell Street would provide an undue burden on this section of the city. Just because Pearl developers can pay to scuttle the camp from Northwest, that doesn’t make it right or fair.

“Bob”

STRAIGHT OUTTA HOLLYWOOD

WW film critic AP Kryza received this email last week: I want to thank you for your updated piece on Carrie [“The Wild-Eyed Piper,” WW, Feb. 26, 2014]. Your take on Margaret White made me laugh out loud! It’s fun to know I still scare you.

Sorry we didn’t get to meet; you would have seen that I am 5-foot-2 and relatively harmless.

All the best to you, Piper Laurie

CORRECTION

In last week’s Scoop column, Portland rapper Illmaculate was incorrectly identified as AfricanAmerican, the result of a copy-editing mistake.

WW regrets the error.

Typical hit piece by the poofters of Willamette Week. [Emmert’s] water buffaloes actually shit, he likes pretty secretaries, and he is a successful

LEttErs to thE Editor must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification.

Letters must be 250 or fewer words.

Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

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is it just me, or is Portland being invaded by Californians? Lately i’ve counted between six and 14 cars per day with California license plates.

What gives? —Mini Coupe

tend to blend in unnoticed.)

That said, you might be surprised to learn that this storied onslaught of Californians has been slowing for at least a decade. Census Bureau figures show that Oregon took on 56,000 of these annoyingly cheerful, mold-free interlopers in 2005. By 2011 (the last year for which figures are available), that number had dropped to just 31,000.

And it’s not just California: Interstate migration has been dropping nationwide, possibly due to the crappy economy. A 2011 report from the Federal Reserve notes that when people can’t sell their homes and can’t afford to send their kids to college out of state, more folks tend to stay put.

To this, I would add that gauzy dreams of an easy life in some faraway clime seem less practical when times are tough. “Do what you love and the money will follow” turns out not to be such great advice if what you love to do is smoke crack.

JOIN US CLACKAMAS – Wichita Pub Wednesday, March 12, 3-7pm TIGARD – Symposium Coffee Thursday, March 13, 3-7pm SE PORTLAND – Red Square Café Monday, March 17, 3-7pm

Visit GetOutGetCovered.com for more information

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14PSH014A PacificSource Open Enrollment Ad for Insertion Order #51079 Willamette Week, March 12, 2014 4-Color, 3.772”wide x 12.25”tall

We interrupt this broadcast for a late-breaking news bulletin: Californians are moving to Oregon. Also, we have unconfirmed reports that something bad may have happened to President Kennedy. More on these bombshell revelations as they develop.

Not to dump all over your question, Mini (who am I kidding? I’m practically building a poo snowman on your question), but you must be a pretty recent import yourself. Otherwise, you’d know that bitching about the influx of Californians has been Portland’s official civic pastime since at least the early 1980s.

It’s true: Close to one-third of Americans who move to Oregon hail from the Golden State.

(Washington émigrés come in second, but since they show up already damp and suicidal, they

QuEstions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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POLITICS: Insurers can’t stick taxpayers for inmate medical bills. 7 PUBLIC SAFETY: The city’s $108,000 gamble on a CPR app.

8 CITY HALL: Hales’ chief of staff responds to civil-rights claims. 10 COVER STORY: An elegy to Jiggles.

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Mayor Charlie Hales and City Commissioner Steve Novick have been shopping a plan to increase transportation taxes and fees, asking residents for their top priorities in polls and forums. But the public input may not include a vote.

In comments first reported by The Oregonian, Hales has begun backing away from asking voters to approve new Portland Bureau of TransporHALES tation funding on the November ballot—and instead might have the City Council pass higher taxes or fees on its own, perhaps as soon as June. “[Hales] has not determined at this point that it needs a referendum,” PBOT spokesman Dylan Rivera tells WW. Novick, who oversees the Transportation Bureau, says city officials will hold a second round of town-hall meetings to discuss what kind of fee to push. “They will probably help to inform us on the ‘ballot or not to ballot’ question,” Novick says.

Gov. John Kitzhaber has not said what he will do to address congestion on Interstate 5 near the Washington state line now that he has once more declared the Columbia River Crossing dead. Oregon Department of Transportation director Matt Garrett announced March 7 his agency will shut down the project after lawmakers refused to endorse Kitzhaber’s Oregon-only plan to build it. ODOT spokesman Dave Thompson says expenditures to date for the project total $195 million.

W W S TA F F

N ATA L I E B E H R I N G

WHY BOTHER VOTERS WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE TO?

R.I.P.

C.R.C.

CALLAHAN

One of the most feared lobbyists in Salem, Mark Nelson, is selling his firm, Public Affairs Council. Nelson has long been one of the savviest, most effective advocates in Salem, advising clients such as Anheuser-Busch, R.J. Reynolds, General Motors and scores of others. One example: When lawmakers passed a cigarette tax increase in 2007, Nelson’s tobacco-industry clients spent $12 million to defeat it at the ballot. Nelson is selling his firm to J.L. Wilson, a lobbyist for Associated Oregon Industries.

Terms of the sale are confidential. Wilson says Nelson plans to stick around for at least a year. Nelson was unavailable for comment.

The quest to build a permanent tribute to the late John Callahan moved forward this month with the receipt of an anonymous $100,000 challenge grant toward the design and construction of a memorial honoring the provocative Portland quadriplegic cartoonist, who died in 2010. Last year, supporters of the memorial announced Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital’s donation of a slice of land at Northwest 21st Avenue and Marshall Street in the Northwest Portland neighborhood Callahan called home. Now, thanks to the anonymous donor, every time someone gives $25, another $25 will be donated toward the memorial’s $200,000 goal. Portland artist Tad Savinar and landscape architect Jesse Stemmler have come up with a design—complete with a wall featuring Callahan’s work. Find out how to donate at ffojohncallahan.tumblr.com.

Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

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GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

JAIL BREAK HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES COVERING JAIL INMATES SHIFT MILLIONS IN COSTS TO TAXPAYERS. NOW THEY HAVE TO STOP.

BY NIGEL JAQUISS njaquiss@wweek.com

Lawmakers fell short on some high-profile bills in the evenyear session that ended last week, including the Columbia River Crossing, gun control and marijuana legalization.

But the Legislature did close a loophole that medical insurance providers have used to stick taxpayers with medical costs for some inmates held in county jails. The bill not only righted an expensive wrong, it scored a relatively rare success for President Obama’s Affordable Care Act. Federal law requires that jails and prisons provide medical care for jail and prison inmates after they have been convicted. But who’s responsible for paying the medical bills of those awaiting trial has been a matter of dispute.

Under current practice in Oregon, if a person with private medical insurance gets arrested, the insurer can refuse to pay for any medical expenses incurred following that arrest but before the person is either released or convicted. Such refusal shifts the costs to the county jail.

A survey of jails last year suggests the total cost of that shift to Oregon counties is between $2.5 million and $5 million annually. “This has been an ongoing concern for sheriffs for a long time,” says Darrell Fuller, a lobbyist for the Oregon State Sheriffs’ Association.

Fuller says taxpayers and inmates are getting short-

W W S TA F F

NEWS

changed. “It’s wrong if somebody is paying a premium and not getting service,” Fuller says.

Nancy Griffith, who runs health services for inmates of Multnomah County’s jails, says about 9 percent of those arrested in the county have private insurance. It costs local taxpayers at least $500,000 a year to pay for health care that private insurance should be covering, the county found.

In most of Oregon, the county government operates the local jail. Health-care costs are a large and fast-growing cost of jail operations, because people who get arrested are far more likely to be mentally ill, suffering from addiction or otherwise less healthy than the average Oregonian.

In 2012, for instance, Multnomah County spent $87 million on its jails. Nearly $14 million of that was for inmate health care.

Shifting responsibility to pay for health care costs local governments millions at a time when they are already struggling to pay for jail beds.

Columbia County is closing its jail in June, and jails in at least three other counties are barely hanging on, according to the sheriffs’ association.

“IT’S WRONG IF SOMEBODY IS PAYING A PREMIUM AND NOT GETTING SERVICE” —DARRELL FULLER Linn County Sheriff Tim Mueller provided lawmakers with an example of one man who, after being arrested in 2010, required five days of acute-care hospitalization at a cost of $51,312.97. Initially, the man’s private insurer agreed to pay—then learned the man was in jail.

“After discovering that he was in custody during his hospital stay, the hospital had to reimburse insurance and we were billed the full amount,” Mueller said in written testimony.

Until now, insurers have avoided their responsibility to cover customers who have been arrested simply by inserting an exclusion in their policies for people who are incarcerated. Such exclusion provides insurers a pretty big savings, and they lobbied hard to keep it, defeating a previous challenge during the 2013 regular legislative session.

Health insurers, such as Cambia Health Solutions (formerly Blue Cross), Providence and LifeWise, have a strong network of lobbyists in Salem, and they keep lawmakers’ attention by giving them steady campaign contributions.

“The exclusions existed in the past because we lose the ability to communicate with our members and manage costs for high-acuity cases when someone is behind bars,” says Tom Holt, a lobbyist for Cambia.

But Fuller says Multnomah County lobbyist Claudia Black found a solution that insurers could not overcome.

At Black’s suggestion, state Sen. Laurie Monnes Anderson (D-Gresham) sought legal guidance from Legislative Counsel Dexter Johnson whether private insurers could continue to exclude pretrial inmates under the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare. The answer: It’s now illegal for insurers to do so.

Federal law trumps any exclusion Oregon insurers might include in their contracts, and so a bill that insurers were able to kill in 2013 rolled unanimously though both houses last month.

Fuller says the bill’s success marks a rare example of private insurers not getting their way in Salem and may pave the way for further cost recovery in the future.

About 20 percent of those arrested have some kind of government-based insurance—either through the Veterans’ Administration, the Oregon Health Plan or Medicare.

Eventually, counties hope to force those public insurers to cover inmates’ pre-conviction costs, just as private insurers will now have to do.

“This is a big fi rst step,” Fuller says. “It’s a step toward spending public safety dollars on public safety instead of health care.”

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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PUBLIC SAFETY W W S TA F F

NEWS

CROWDSOURCING CPR A NEW APP WILL COST PORTLAND’S FIRE BUREAU $108,000. IT WON’T SAVE MONEY, BUT WILL IT SAVE LIVES?

BY CA MB R IA R OTH croth@wweek.com

Mayor Charlie Hales is asking the City Council to spend $108,000 on a smartphone app to notify Portlanders trained in CPR when someone nearby is having a heart attack.

The proposal is part of a Hales initiative to launch new programs that will save taxpayers’ money over time.

But city records show the app, called PulsePoint, will probably not save taxpayers any money, and hasn’t saved any lives since it was introduced in a neighboring fire district one year ago.

Portland Fire Chief Erin Janssens, whose bureau proposed the idea, says the potential benefits of the app will outweigh its costs.

“I think to taxpayers and society there is a return on investment intrinsically, but it is hard to quantify,” Janssens says.

Hales set aside $1 million in his 2014 city budget for an Innovation Fund to invest in creative ideas that will save the city money in the long run.

The Portland City Council will vote March 12 to distribute $906,000 to seven Innovation Fund proposals.

The PulsePoint app, in addition to notifying people trained in CPR about nearby emergencies, will also identify the location of the nearest automated defibrillator.

The costs include $20,000 over two years to license the app and another $63,000 for computer system support. The proposal also includes $10,000 to publicize the app and $15,000 for CPR classes.

The proposal before the City Council says the app will provide “no direct city cost benefit.”

“Saving money would be one of the criteria, but not the only criteria,” says Andrew Scott, Portland’s budget director. “The idea was to create efficiencies with the way the city does business, one of those ways being through saving money, but it was also created to find new and creative ways to better serve Portland residents through improving services.”

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PulsePoint is used in 530 communities in 17 states. About 6,000 people have downloaded the app.

Last January, Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue in Washington County became the fi rst agency in Oregon to launch PulsePoint.

Mark Charleston, Tualatin Valley’s battalion chief for emergency medical services, says it connects the app’s users with the fire department and cardiac arrest victims.

“This app can be used in the event that no one around is willing to provide CPR, because some people do have that fear,” Charleston says.

“It isn’t designed to be the primary response piece. It is more of a backup before we can get to the scene.”

Charleston says his agency has no documented case of PulsePoint saving a life. Neither does his agency have concrete numbers for how often PulsePoint has brought citizens to the scene of a heart attack, but in the handful of cases in which it has, there was no need to perform CPR. PulsePoint is the invention of Richard Price, a California firefighter who says he was at lunch with friends in 2011 when EMS crews responded to a cardiac arrest in the building next door. He realized he could have helped by responding first if he had known.

Price says PulsePoint’s goal is to get CPR started earlier and defibrillators used more often. “Those are our primary metrics,” Price says, “and if you think getting CPR started more often and defibrillators out means more lives saved, that is what we focus on.”

Price says a total of 2,038 alerts have been sent through PulsePoint, but there are no statistics showing whether citizens responding to the alerts provided any real assistance, let alone saved a life.

Under the city’s proposal, Portland Fire & Rescue will have to keep statistics showing how often citizens responded to PulsePoint calls and what the outcome was.

Janssens says her agency has one of the best survival rates for cardiac-arrest victims, and it hopes to increase that success even more.

“The app is forward-leaning,” Janssens says.

“We started looking into it two years ago, but it is difficult to get $100,000 with our budgets being very tight. This fund was an opportunity to do something different.”

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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CITY HALL JAMES REXROAD

NEWS

SHIBLEY’S SIDE OF THE STORY HALES’ CHIEF OF STAFF RESPONDS TO A CLAIM SHE TARGETED AN HIV-POSITIVE EMPLOYEE.

BY AA RO N M E S H amesh@wweek.com

Portland Mayor Charlie Hales’ chief of staff, Gail Shibley, is fighting back against allegations she pressured a staffer into revealing he was HIV-positive and called him a “skank” after he told her about his illness.

Instead, Shibley says the employee fi led a civil-rights complaint against her only after she denied him paid hours off from work.

The Hales staffer fi led the Jan. 14 complaint with the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries, alleging that Shibley made illegal inquiries into his HIV-positive status, harassed him after learning of his disease, and retaliated against him for complaining about her actions.

WW has obtained a draft copy of the city’s response to the discrimination allegations, which includes Shibley’s denials.

In the response, Shibley denies the staffer’s charges.

She also provides state investigators with testimonial letters from friends and colleagues saying she’s not prejudiced. (Shibley is a lesbian who in 1991 revealed her sexual orientation, becoming the first openly gay member of the Oregon Legislature.)

“She submits these testimonials,” the draft response says, “in an effort to show that the allegation that she is a person who harbors discriminatory feelings about people who are HIV-positive or would treat someone unfavorably upon knowing of their illness is completely unfounded.”

Hales’ office declined to comment on the city ’s response.

In the complaint, the Hales staffer claims Shibley insisted he explain why he had a TriMet “Honored Citizen” pass, which gives discounted fares and priority seating to seniors and people with disabilities.

The staffer says Shibley continued to ask him about the pass, and he felt pressured into revealing his HIV status.

In the city’s response, Shibley tells the BOLI investigator that she never made the staffer explain why he had the pass. Shibley says another co-worker asked about the pass—and when Shibley tried to defuse an awkward situation, the staffer met with her privately.

“He confided that the reason he has the pass is because he is HIV-positive and expressed that he felt comfortable sharing that with her because of their shared experiences

CHIEF COMPLAINT: The city’s draft response to a civil-rights complaint against Mayor Charlie Hales’ chief of staff, Gail Shibley (above), says the “frustrations” between her and a staffer who filed the complaint “seem to stem primarily from differences in style.”

being members of the gay community,” the response says.

The staffer who filed the complaint had previously worked for former Mayor Sam Adams, who is also openly gay. In the original complaint, the staffer alleges Shibley made derogatory comments about Adams and him.

“Shibley stated to me that Adams must have been something of a ‘skank,’ adding that I must be a ‘skank’ as well, since working for Adams required a different or special skill set,” the staffer says in the complaint.

In the city’s response, Shibley “emphatically denies” the staffer’s charge and says it was the staffer who “made some unflattering statements about the former mayor.”

The complaint against Shibley is the latest in a series of allegations of misbehavior by Hales’ staff.

Last summer, the mayor’s top police aide, Baruti Artharee, made sexually suggestive remarks to Multnomah County Commissioner Loretta Smith, and was suspended for a week. Former top financial executive Jack Graham was accused of improperly moving money between city accounts, while Office of Equity director Dante James violated city policy by complimenting a staffer’s eyes. The incidents have led some observers to call for increased city protections for whistle-blowers.

The staffer’s BOLI complaint alleges that the discrimination continued when other employees in the mayor’s office received paid time off while he was denied the same benefit.

The city’s response says Shibley only gave paid time off to two staffers, who had worked unusually long hours, and suggests that her more conservative allocation of

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paid leave is the real motivation behind the civil-rights complaint.

The city document says the staffer first complained about discrimination to the city’s Human Resources Bureau nearly eight months after the alleged incidents— and two months after Shibley denied him paid time off, a bonus he had received working for Adams.

The staffer complained one month after a second employee in Hales’ office asked him about his TriMet pass.

“Respondent asserts that as time passed and [the staffer] was challenged to perform his job differently than how he had performed under Mayor Adams, he began to resent Ms. Shibley’s style of management.”

The staffer’s BOLI complaint says city human resources director Anna Kanwit discouraged him from filing a complaint against Shibley.

The city’s response says Kanwit didn’t try to get him to drop the complaint. Instead, the response says, she investigated it.

“After reviewing the intake interview and talking to Ms. Shibley,” the city’s response says, “Ms. Kanwit determined that there was not enough evidence of a violation of city rules to proceed with an investigation.”

The city says Shibley didn’t commit a civil-rights violation, but it offers to “participate in a conciliation process” to heal Shibley’s relationship to the employee.

That probably won’t happen: The employee has since left the mayor’s office.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

A REQUIEM FOR JIGGLES

THE BOOZE-FREE STRIP CLUB THAT LOCAL TEENS TURNED INTO AN ICON.

I

BY JAY HORTON 243- 2 12 2 P HOTOS BY E M M A B R OW NE

n June, Portland will lose a legend. For three decades, the Jiggles sign at exit 289 on I-5 has stood as a tantalizing promise of adult privilege to adolescent males of all ages. It may be difficult to remember now, but Jiggles opened as a drearily normal strip club in 1984 before being forced to surrender its liquor license because of alleged mob ties. Instead of closing, it morphed into an 18-and-over juice bar with topless dancers. It also became a rite of passage for local teens. “Having no other point of reference,” says local DJ Greg Nibler, “it was the greatest place on earth.”

“Jiggles had this mystique,” says Austin Paradise, a Portland musician. “You drive up and down I-5, and it’s right there! It’s amazing, y’know? Being 18, that was some place you could actually go to. You had something you could actually look forward to on page 15 at age 18. You could go see boobs. It was a magical place.”

CONT.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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A REQUIEM FOR JIGGLES

A

cont.

“I drank enough Cokes to give me diabetes.

That was sort of a rite of passage.”

fter a quarter-century, the Jiggles sign has itself been stripped by the elements, and its bottom now stands exposed. No one plans to replace it. The club’s lease expires June 30 and will not be renewed. Tualatin’s best-known landmark is slated to be torn down to make room for a massive shopping mall anchored by a Cabela’s outdoor store and a bronze statue of a juvenile mastodon meant to bolster the town’s “Ice Age Tourism Plan.”

This week as we roll out a guide to Portland’s best strip clubs, we say goodbye to a roadside legend. (Many copies of today’s issue include the guide. If yours doesn’t, go to wweek.com for a list of distribution locations that include the guide.) We dug through past press coverage and talked to Jiggles customers, lawyers, dancers and owners about the club’s enduring charms.

J

iggles opened in January 1984 with beer and $3 table dances. It was Tualatin’s first topless tavern and received its liquor license before city officials were aware the club would feature topless dancers.

“With red lights flashing overhead and a jukebox blaring Madonna’s ‘Material Girl,’ a young woman danced on a raised stage wearing earrings, a G-string and high heels. Five men were sitting at a counter surrounding the stage drinking beers that cost $2.25 apiece. One young man lobbed wadded-up bills at the dancer’s feet.”

—THE OREGONIAN, Jan. 19, 1986

I

n 1985, the Oregon Liquor Control Commission began a lengthy investigation of the club. Jiggles listed its owner as Jane M. Coppedge, a local woman who’d previously been a cook, bartender and waitress in Springfield. The OLCC alleged the club was actually controlled in part by Seattle’s Colacurcio organized-crime family. The fight culminated in a seven-day liquor license hearing in February 1986. That hearing was widely covered in the media,

including a three-day investigative series published by The Oregonian.

“The gavel-to-gavel coverage of the hearing before the liquor control commission was grist for the television mill for about two weeks. Seems as if every night when I came home to sit down to dinner, I’d see another piece by [KGW’s] Cathy Kiyomura live from the Oregon Liquor Control Commission for the hearing on Jiggles.

She covered that with gusto.”

—JOHN HENRY HINGSON III, attorney for Jiggles

“Oregon Liquor Control Commission officials say the Jiggles case is one of the lengthiest and most complex cases in the agency’s history.”

—THE OREGONIAN, Jan. 27, 1987

T

he OLCC revoked the tavern’s license in January 1987, concluding “the hidden ownership of Jiggles” was “sustained by clear and convincing evidence.” The decision was eventually appealed all the way to the Oregon Supreme Court. Jiggles

lost that fight, and its liquor license. But instead of shutting down, it chose to continue operation as a strip club—just one that didn’t sell alcohol. Which meant that, by law, the club was now open to 18-yearolds. It soon developed mythic status among local teens.

“I was a freshman at Oregon State, and there was someone in the fraternity from Portland who started talking about Jiggles. It was hard to believe, but we went on trust. Eight of us piling into two cars and heading up here at the same time from Corvallis with this vague notion of dancers at a gentlemen’s club that would let us inside. I remember being nervous about the doorman—that was my first experience around a bouncer other than at concerts—and for some reason I felt guilty just being there. Even though I was technically of legal age, I still felt like I was getting away with something.”

—GREG NIBLER, co-host of Funemployment Radio, on his first and only visit to Jiggles, in 1995.

“This was before the Internet. There wasn’t an entire fucking information system based around the porn industry. For the first time in my life, I’m in a position where I can sit and observe the female anatomy and then interact with a woman with no real expectation or fear of rejection, y’know? As a young man, that was very important. I drank enough Cokes to give me diabetes. That was sort of a rite of passage.”

—JEFF TRUHN, former owner of the East End and Plan B bars, on his first visit the week of his 18th birthday, in 1992.

“As the school year winds down, we parents of graduating seniors have a last chance at guiding and directing our kids.

One direction you may want to steer your high school son or daughter away from is the Tualatin exit, just off Interstate 5

and a joint known to all as Jiggles.... You delude yourself if you think your sons aren’t making a beeline there the moment they turn voting age.”

—THE OREGONIAN, April 17, 2003

“I’m happy with the way the business turned out. It has really worked out much better this way…. It’s an icon! I couldn’t tell you how many people walk in and say, ‘Oh, I celebrated my 18th birthday here or I had my bachelor party here.’”

—JANE COPPEDGE, owner of Jiggles

“Some parents even call before their boys show up to see if it’s a safe place. You gotta admire those concerned moms and dads.”

—THE OREGONIAN, April 17, 2003

I

t wasn’t just teenage boys who found Jiggles to be a different world. The lack of alcohol also made it a different experience for the staff.

“They just had soda and coffee, and it was a two-drink minimum. After you ordered your Pepsi or your coffee, I would have to bring out two full cups at once—that was part of the admission—or it was one cup of coffee and then another empty cup. So, that was kind of awkward. Most of them got poured out. Who’s gonna drink two 20-ouncers of Pepsi? Then, they decided that they would start serving little bits of food, and what do they choose? Hot dogs!

It was pretty hilarious to watch a man at the rack eating a hot dog while watching a stripper dance…. On some level, it just felt a little more wholesome.”

—KJIRSTEN WINTERS, student and mother of the children who re-created the Beastie Boys song “Sabotage” (“Best of Portland,” WW, July 25, 2012), on her stint as a waitress at Jiggles from 1993 to ’94. cont. on page 16 Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

15

A REQUIEM FOR JIGGLES

cont.

“There were more girls there than at the other clubs—I’m not sure why—and they were all really into it. They were all really excited and really liked each other. So whatever the chemistry was at that time and space among them, they were having fun, and that was very sweet. That was the only time I was invited back to perform with them, and I am not a dancer. The girls were like: ‘You should come back, you should dance with us, you’re so pretty!’ They were so sweet. It felt like this sex-positive, third-wave feminism.”

—SALLY ECK, senior instructor in women, gender and sexuality studies at Portland State University, on her first and only visit to Jiggles for a sociology thesis project, in 1999.

T

he Tualatin Police Department has logged 94 complaints or incidents between June 2013 and March 2014 at Jiggles, including a presumed overdose— though that patron was actually just very drunk.

“We just wanted to get out of there before the bullets started flying.”

“Our officers generally catch underage people consuming alcohol, smoking and/ or doing drugs.”

—JENNIFER MASSEY, spokeswoman for the Tualatin Police Department

“You could only count on just the young fuckers who’d drink out in the car and then go back in and make about 20 trips getting wasted. We’re the only people there giving money, so they don’t say shit—‘you’re not drinking in the bar, so we don’t care!’”

—AUSTIN PARADISE

“We were fairly clean-cut kids. It was pretty weird just to walk into a strip club anyway, and that was the night I saw this dude try to touch a stripper or something.

All of a sudden, the bouncer’s throwing him out. The guy comes back in and tries a cheap shot, and then the bouncer pushed him through the pillar that was right near the door. It sorta just bent into an L-shape. We just wanted to get out of there before the bullets started flying.”

—NATHAN JUNIOR, guitarist for M. Ward and the Dandy Warhols, on his first and only visit to Jiggles for a friend’s 18th birthday, in 1993.

“We don’t have any trouble that I’m aware of with the police. It’s been an OK relationship, as far as I’m concerned.”

—COPPEDGE

J

iggles was, however, questioned by the FBI about Shawn Eckhardt, the Tonya Harding bodyguard who hired Shane Stant to hit figure-skating rival Nancy Kerrigan in the knee with a club in 1994.

“A few men came in and went with the manager to the back room. People normally went and found a table. And they were dressed in power suits. It was suspicious.

I knew something was up, and when they left, the manager said they had come in to ask questions about Shawn Eckhardt, who I guess had been a doorman.”

—WINTERS 16

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W

hile Jiggles withstood attacks from the OLCC, scolds and reporters, it will ultimately succumb to the everupward march of property values. Jiggles’ 30-year lease expires June 30 and will not be renewed. Developers will build a mall called Nyberg Rivers, anchored by a 110,000-square-foot Cabela’s outdoor store that sells $200 fishing waders and 16 types of semiautomatic rifles. Plans approved by the Tualatin City Council last year place an unnamed restaurant on the Jiggles site. The plan also calls for the council’s chambers to be torn down to ease traffic around the new mall.

“I would think that everyone would want the strip club to go, but there’s been an overwhelming outpouring of locals that come in and ask, ‘Where are you going?

Are you going far? Are you going to stay around?’ There may be a consensus on the more conservative end of locals that are happy to see it go, but there are a lot of other people who look at the place as being almost historic. It’s sat on that corner since the ’80s.”

long distances, they usually stay a couple of days. People tend to shop at a Cabela’s for a long time, so oftentimes they’ll stay the night and actually explore the community, go down to wine country.”

—FRED BRUNING, CEO of Nyberg Rivers developer CenterCal Properties

“After three decades, the entrance to our city will no longer be a strip bar, but rather a premier shopping center that will be another regional jewel located in Tualatin.”

—Tualatin Mayor LOU OGDEN, during his Jan. 29 State of the City address, which he delivered at the Grand Hotel at Bridgeport Village.

N

yberg Rivers shoppers “will be welcomed by the beatific gaze of a bronze mastodon” created by a devout Christian whose previous work includes a bust of Ronald Reagan for the Orange County Republican Party. The mastodon will be “a younger take on the early elephant relative, so as not to scare children,” according to The Times newspaper in Tualatin.

—DJ DASTARDLY, Jiggles manager

“They weren’t upfront with me about what they were going to do. They just fenced me off and tried to run me out of business before they had to buy me out.”

—COPPEDGE

“I don’t have much good to say about places like [Jiggles]. When we were developing Bridgeport Village, people would ask what other retailers were in town, and I had to say K-Mart and Jiggles. It wasn’t a great calling card for the city. When you look at Cabela’s, they’ll be bringing people from 200 miles away—from Olympia, Pendleton, probably even Northern California—and, when people travel very

“To make the mastodon more accessible, and to endear him to younger shoppers, the bronze display will also include a contemplative, but awestruck, human boy—the idea being that the child is wondering what it would be like to live in prehistory.”

—THE TIMES, Feb. 20, 2014

Jiggles plans to move to a new location.

“I’m not going to close down. The plan is to move. I would like to stay in Tualatin.....

The new club will be run just like this is.

It’s worked real well over the years.”

—COPPEDGE

THE JIGGLES INDEX 100-PLUS

Number of pages in Jiggles lawyer John Henry Hingson III’s filing to stay the OLCC closure of Jiggles in 1987

$10

Cost of admission at Jiggles, including coffee, an 18-ounce soda, lemonade, cranberry juice or a Rave energy drink

$42,000

Amount of the unsecured loan Coppedge improperly disclosed, according to the 1987 OLCC ruling that withdrew her club’s liquor license

$10.1 MILLION

Cost of refill (all items)

Settlement paid

by Cabela’s in restitution to unsecured borrowers after a 2011 FDIC investigation accused the corporation’s banking arm of unsavory lending practices

$2.25

$250,000

Price of a beer in 1987

Fines assessed as a result

$3

12

$15

Price after 9 pm

$2

Cost of lap dance at Jiggles in 1984

$25

Cost of lap dance at Jiggles in 2014

$10.99

Cost of sexual attractant at Cabela’s

$15.99

Cost of fletching stripper at Cabela’s

Estimated number of handguns that fit comfortably around Cabela’s largest rack

15

Estimated number of patrons that fit comfortably around Jiggles’ largest rack

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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18

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

STREET

HAWK CRAWL WINTERHAWKS FANS ARRIVE AT THE ARENA. P HOTOS BY ANN A JAYE GOELLN ER

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

19

FOOD: Portland’s best macarons.

SHOPPING: Garden gear from local companies.

MUSIC: Portland cops vs. Portland hip-hop.

BAR REVIEW: $16 G&T’s at the long-awaited Pepe Le Moko.

VISUAL ARTS

23 24 27 36

SCOOP

GALLERY LISTINGS & MORE! PAGE 44 IN WW

think it’s just trivia? think again.

RAMENS RAM N Monday

Wednesday

Hawthorne Hideaway — 8PM Rose & Thistle — 8PM Alberta St. Pub — 8PM

Thursdays @ 8pm Tuesday dwing Bar & Grill Re The Dugout (Hillsboro) — 7PM 4012 30th St • North Park

Biddy McGraw's — 7PM Shanahan's (Vancouver) — 7PM Ship Tavern — 8PM (Starts March 25) Laurelwood Public House (SE Portland) — 8PM Beaterville Cafe and Bar —8PM The Ram Restaurant & Brewery (Wilsonville)— 8PM

Mondays @ 9pm Bourbon Street Bar & Grill 4612 Park Blvd - University Heights

Punch Bowl Social — 8PM Concordia Ale House — 8PM Space Room — 7PM Tonic Lounge — 7PM Buffalo Gap — 7:30PM

Saturdays @ 8pm Kelly’s Pub San Diego Ave • Old Town

2222 Thursday

21st Avenue Bar & Grill — 7PM Belmont Inn — 7PM M&M Lounge (Gresham)—8PM (Starts April 3rd)

Tuesdays @ 8pm (starts August 14th)

South Park Abbey

1946 Fern Street • South Park www.geekswhodrink.com @geekswhodrink

20

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

facebook.com/geekswhodrink

PURRFECT PLAN: Portland is racing to open North America’s first cat cafe. Purringtons Cat Lounge would follow a model used in Paris and Tokyo, where cafe patrons sip wine and pet resident kitties. “It really is a place I think Portlanders would eat up,” says organizer Kristen Castillo. Purringtons plans to have wine, three rotating local beer taps and “a limited variety of snacks,” including popcorn, pickles and beef jerky, which the health code allows to be sold alongside animals. “You absolutely do not bring your own cats because they would probably kill each other,” says Castillo. “I’m partnering with a shelter in Lake Oswego, Oregon Cat Project, and [founder Dana Lionel] is going to provide us with 12 cats that get along with each other and like humans. Really, the idea is that any of those cats are adoptable.” Expect to pay a cover, but stay as long as you want. “Tokyo has like 100 cat cafes,” Castillo says. “They charge you $10 and you can only stay for an hour and they put a sticker on you so they know how long you’ve been there. I don’t want to do that.” For more information, go to Purringtons’ Facebook page, facebook. com/purringtonscatlounge.

BREAKING BROADWAY: Bryan Cranston isn’t the only one making his Broadway debut this month. Bill Rauch, artistic director of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, directs the Breaking Bad star in All the Way, in which Cranston plays Lyndon B. Johnson. The political drama, which was commissioned by OSF, had its premiere, sans Cranston, in Ashland last year. It’s the first OSF commission to hit Broadway. A second Robert Schenkkan play about LBJ, The Great Society, debuts at OSF this summer. >> In other news of local boys going big, comedian Ian Karmel—formerly of Beaverton and now of Los Angeles, where he’s a writer for Chelsea Lately—will do standup on Conan on Wednesday, March 12.

QUARTER POUR: Spin Laundry Lounge, the longawaited drunken laundromat at 750 N Fremont St., finally cracked its doors March 10. The taps were still being installed at press time, but the laundro-bar’s first kegs will be GoodLife Descender IPA and Upright Pilsner, alongside wine, pour-over coffee, light snacks and panini. >> So what do you do with that giant MADISON’S sign if you want to start a new place in the now-closed Southeast Madison Street eatery?

Apparently, just like the Buddhists, you remove the “I.” East Side Deli owner Cory Eddy and others from the venerable oldschool hoagie shop have filed for a liquor license to open a bar called MAD SON’S, with pinball machines and a pool table.

UNCLE CLIFFY SURVIVES: Former Trail Blazers forward Cliff Robinson is on the newest season of Survivor, which began Feb. 26. So far, he’s found a wingman in a young martial arts instructor named Woo and navigated balls into buckets to win his tribe blankets and pillows. Follow his exploits at wweek.com.

FLICKR.COM/PEOPLE/GO

T H E O R E G O N C AT. O R G

NOW, WE NEED A BAR WITH CATS AND LAUNDRY.

HEADOUT MISHA ASHTON MOORE

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

WEDNESDAY MARCH 12 PEEP SHOW [BURLESQUE] Two years ago, drag queen Artemis Chase went to live in a cabin on a hill—literally. She left behind Peep Show, that mix of drag, choice tastelessness and outof-town talent that met its demise when Red Cap Garage became a mall. She revives the show, with avant-garde New York drag queen Milk. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439. 8 pm Wednesday, March 12. $7. 21+.

SATURDAY MARCH 15 STEPHEN MALKMUS & THE JICKS [MUSIC] Wig Out at Jagbags, the newest album from indie-rock’s favorite fantasy-sports nerd, finds the 47-year-old slacker icon embracing his dorkiness, singing about cinnamon, Tennyson, venison and obscure NBA players, while ditching the extended classic-rock jams of past Jicks records for hummable melodies and a lovable brand of white-boy soul. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 345-7892. 9 pm. $24. 21+.

XRAY.FM LAUNCH PARTY [MUSIC] Several years in the making, Portland free-form radio station KXRY is finally hitting terrestrial airwaves, and it’s celebrating with two of Portland’s best bands: local soul legend Ural Thomas and the Pain and rock-’n’-roll adventurers Old Light. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895.

9 pm. $15-$30 sliding scale. 21+.

SUNDAY MARCH 16

ST. PATRICK, THE SOMBER Why not celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with a flask at the cemetery?

S

t. Patrick’s Day isn’t much of a holiday on the West Coast. Portland’s river, and the vast majority of its beer, will not turn green. Portland State students will actually attend classes after noon. More bars will take this as an opportunity to charge a cover than will offer ridiculous drink discounts in the spirit of the season.

And yet, there is one very good way to mark St. Patrick’s Day in Portland. That is to take a bottle of Irish whiskey up to Mount Calvary Cemetery and discreetly sip it in the shadow of the giant Celtic cross standing just south of West Burnside Street. That memorial is dedicated to the victims of the Irish Potato Famine, the mid-19th century calamity that killed 1 million people and forced a mass migration that together slashed the nation’s population by a quarter. This year, rather than green Jell-O shots, why not take some time to reflect on the lessons of Gorta Mór?

The dangers of monoculture.

Potato blight was caused by poor farming practices. There are thousands of varieties of potatoes in South America, where the plant comes from, but the Irish mainly cultivated a variety called Irish Lumper. The lack of genetic diversity—partly dictated by tenant farmers’ tiny plots—proved disastrous, as entire fields turned to black sludge in a day.

A rigged economy. Even before the famine, the Irish were very poor. That’s because the land they worked was owned by British aristocrats who profited from land they rarely even visited, asking greedy middlemen to manage their tenants.

Indifference or worse from the people with power. The British could have stopped the starvation. Even as 1 million subjects

GO: Mount Calvary Cemetery, 333 SW Skyline Blvd., 292-6621, ccpdxor.com.

of the then-wealthiest empire on earth starved, Ireland was producing massive amounts of food to be exported to England.

Lately, some activists have taken to framing the famine as British-led genocide (see irishholocaust.org). More moderate voices, such as The Graves Are Walking author John Kelly, say it was merely caused by British bureaucrats who were “parsimonious, short-sighted, grotesquely twisted by religion and ideology.”

Those Irish immigrants fleeing famine helped build America.

Irish who came to the United States to lee starvation in the 1840s provided the cheap labor our country needed to establish an industrial economy. We owe much of the subsequent prosperity to them. We should pay our respects with a flask, at the cemetary. MARTIN CIZMAR.

KELLS SMOKER [BOXING] Americans and Irishmen beat the tar out of each other at an Irish pub for St. Patrick’s Day. Except this time, they’re sober.

Amateur boxing bouts between the West Portland Boxing Club and the Holy Family Boxing club of Ireland.

Black-ties own the tables by the ropes, but you can stand in the peanut gallery. Kells Irish Pub, 112 SW Second Ave., 227-4057, kellsirish. com. 5 pm. $20 general admission. 21+.

MONDAY MARCH 17 W. KAMAU BELL [COMEDY] One of the sharpest voices on race and politics in comedy, Bell has had time to recover from the unjust cancellation of his TV series, Totally Biased, and he’s put together a standup tour called Oh, Everything! Expect astute, funny observations. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $23. 21+.

THE SWORD [MUSIC] Apocryphon, the 2012 album from these Austin-based Sabbath worshippers, reveals that despite some questionable aesthetic choices—lyrics seemingly ripped from a D&D campaign, a logo that would look great airbrushed on a 1983 Club Wagon—the Sword is the real deal. Think of it as Mastodon for the Dazed & Confused set.

Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 7 pm. $20. All ages.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

21

FOOD & DRINK = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com.

See page 3 for submission instructions.

THURSDAY, MARCH 13 Owen Roe Wine Dinner

Ever wonder what to pair with cherry-cola braised beef?

Apparently, it takes a pair of wines: Chapel Block syrah and Red Willow cabernet. This, at least, from a cursory examination of the pairings menu. Luckily, both of these were ridiculously fawned over by Wine Spectator, so cherry-cola beef must be the right thing to eat. Four courses by chef Scott Weaver, plus four wines from Owen Roe Winery.

Elephants Delicatessen, 115 NW 22nd Ave., 6:30 pm. $59.

Vegan Dishes Available

FRIDAY, MARCH 14 Brewvana Behind the Scenes Tour

Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing solutions for owners and managers

OMSI Food Luminary Dinner: Aaron Barnett

NYC/ CHI/ SFO/ SEA /PDX/ AUS

Karaoke 9pm nightly

Untitled-2 1 Hydro Pong Saturday night

6/10/12 9:41 AM

Fun Indu Night!

Dragon Lounge

Chinese-American Restaurant

2610 SE 82nd at Division 503-774-1135 Ho Ti

When I was growing up, food plus science usually just meant eating Reese’s Pieces while staring at the stars. But now? Demonstrations.

Fireworks. Speeches. After a culinary science demo accompanied by wine and chicken liver mousse and such, you get four courses from St. Jack’s chef Aaron Barnett alongside Bon Appétit executive chef Ryan Morgan, ranging from beef tenderloin bits to trout salad to jugged chicken with parsnip puree. Oregon Museum of Science & Industry, 1945 SE Water Ave., 800-955-6674. 6 pm. $80. 21+.

St. Patricks Irish Festival

I get HAPPY 4-6pm Tues-Fri $3 menu

Tuesdstaryy:

A beer bus with a mission other than sheer unconsciousness. The Friday tours are probably the best of Brewvana’s current regular brewery-bus circuits, with an opportunity to try out the yeastforward experimentations of Upright, Buckman Botanicals’ hopfree gruits, Laurelwood’s always interesting seasonals and a goround amid the impressive facilities of Widmer. Various Locations, experiencebrewvana.com. 1 pm. $85. 21+.

Read our story: canton-grill.com

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Oh, man. A tent city of Irish and fake Irish. It’s like the war all over again. Amateur boxing matches, beering, boozing, face painting, unpainted red cheeks, inexplicable dog show, adults dancing badly, children dancing well, onsite genealogists, cheese samples, cheesy fake Neil Diamond, drunk suburbanites, raffl es for trips to Dublin, shamrocks pinned to unlikely places, girls throwing up, feathered Notre Dame headbands, Van Morrison’s daughter, “Kiss Me I’m Drunk/Irish/Awful,” bagpipers, fi ddlers, harmonica players, screaming 21-year-old college students, charity donations, belligerent Timbers fans, Irish, Irish, Irish.

Kells Brew Pub, 210 NW 21st Ave., 719-7175; Kells Irish, 112 SW 2nd Ave., 227-4057; kellsirish.com. 11:30 am. Various times through Monday, March 17. 21+.

SATURDAY, MARCH 15 PSU Saturday Farmers Market

GET WW’S EVENT PICKS FOR THE WEEK AND WIN FREE TICKETS Go to wweek.com/promotions

22

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

Dude. Springtime. It’s back. Don’t let the wind and rain and falling trees and general awfulness of the sky fool you. A hundred stalls of farm stuff and foodstuff and libationary stuff from eggs to veggies to fi sh to pickles to wine to cheese to bread. Get out that basket you’ve been weaving all winter and get to crackin’ those fresh nuts.

And for Pete’s sake, stop shivering.

Portland State University Farmers Market, Southwest Park Avenue and Montgomery Street. 8 am.

St. Patty’s Bus Tour

A bus. With drunks. Going to bars.

To get them (and you) drunk.

Without you driving and killing people. With a holiday attached, to provide extra cover for what you will so obviously end up doing wrong. You know the drill, don’t you? Multiple Locations, shanghaiportland.com. 7 pm-1 am. $25. 21+.

MONDAY, MARCH 17 Kiss Me I’m Drunkish St. Patty’s Day Tour

And for another version of how to avoid the ridiculous Irish mobs while still riding around on an Irish party bus, here’s a brewery tour from Gigantic. In the midafternoon. It travels among Gigantic, Migration and Stormbreaker breweries. Multiple Locations, experiencebrewvana.com. 2 pm. $69. 21+.

McMenamins St. Patricks Day

Multiple McMenamins bars have fests for that greenest of holidays, especially the boondocked Edgefi eld, which hosts much music. But among those locations that will actually support a bus or

cab ride (Kidding! You can’t actually get a cab in Portland on St. Patrick’s Day!), Kennedy School has the most going on. And as of this year, McMenamins actually has an 8-year whiskey (see review, below), so you can add an appropriate local fl ourish to your horrible, saddening, ill-advised drunkenness on the occasion of a holiday the Irish don’t celebrate and no one quite understands.

Anyway, lots of Irish coff ee cocktails and Irish-type bands playing.

Please, world! Help us forget you!

Edgefi eld, 2126 SW Halsey St., 669-8610. Noon. Free entry. +21.

St. Patrick’s Day Corned Beef

St. Patty’s fell on a Monday this year, which means it hits early for those of us with, you know, jobs.

Anyway, the traditional St. Patty’s corned beef and colcannon will override the traditional Friday fi sh, for all of you Irish Catholics out there. Sorry, celebrators of Lent!

Irish punk band Whiskey’s Lament will help you digest. EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., 236-2876.

10 am.

St. Patty’s Day Rip

Hey look, another bar bus! This one, however, tours dive bars, less divey bars and Vietnamese dive bars, and avoids the frat-riddled Irish-British mafi a. So you might actually make it to the bar for a drink before the bus leaves again.

Multiple Locations, portlandshortbus.com. 7 pm. $35. 21+.

DRANK

DEVILS BIT (McMENAMINS EDGEFIELD DISTILLERY) There’s still precious little proper whiskey made in Oregon. Give it a few years and there will be, but right now most whiskey sold with local labels is either immature white dog or stuff that’s been shipped out from elsewhere and drained into bottles emblazoned with our city’s name. Devils Bit, the flask-size bottles of aged whiskey McMenamins will sell at some locations (Kennedy School, Old St. Francis School and Crystal Ballroom among them) for $17 on St. Patrick’s Day, is a real whiskey, distilled way back in 2006. It has spent time in four different barrels, including charred and new oak, which give it some woodiness, and used port barrels from which you can taste a very slight, ripe fruitiness. Devils Bit is mature for its young age, with layered flavors that recall a much older whiskey, though sharper.

There are just more than 1,000 bottles, and they usually sell out by the early afternoon. You could drink a lot worse for $17 on St. Patty’s Day. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR. DRANK

EVERYBODY POGO (CIDER RIOT) Cider Riot’s Abram GoldmanArmstrong has deep roots in the cider orchards. As a teenager, he picked cider apples in Yamhill County, then made his first batch of booze from Red Delicious apples as a freshman in college. In these parts, he’s better known as a beer guy: editor of Northwest Brewing News and organizer of the organic beer festival. But he got the detached garage at his Mount Tabor home approved for production by the Oregon Liquor Control Commission, and is rolling out a line of cider starting with Everybody Pogo, a hopped New World cider designed for “the Cascadian palate.”

Indeed, Pogo sips like a beer—not because it’s green or bitter, but because it comes to a remarkably lagerlike balance. This cider is squeaky clean and couldn’t be fairly called either “dry” or “sweet.” The hoppiness is restrained and noble, not unlike fresh Pilsner Urquell. You could pound it without noticing, which is especially dangerous given we paid $7 for a pint at Hopworks.

Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR..

FOOD & DRINK TASTE-OFF

Jerek Hollender

MACAROMANIA TASTE-TESTING PORTLAND MACARONS.

BY S AVA N N A H WA S S E R M A N A N D K AT H R Y N P E I F E R 2 4 3 -2 1 2 2

For a dessert built from a frail little shell of egg white, the macaron has proven surprisingly durable.

Back in February 2010, the confection’s burgeoning popularity was documented by NPR’s “Move Over, Cupcake: Make Way for the Macaroon” and a Wall Street Journal scare piece headlined “Mon Dieu! Will Newfound Popularity Spoil the Dainty Macaron?”

Eventually, the trend even made its way to Texas, where, last week, the Houston Press blogged that “Macarons Are the New Cupcake, but Why?” W hy indeed. We’ll be honest: We’ve never been that crazy about macarons. But after ignoring them for so long that people in Texas discovered them, WW decided finally to fig ure out who made Portland’s best. We assembled a tray of 25 colorful, bite-sized meringue cookie sandwiches stuffed with buttercream or ganache for a blind taste test. The result? We love Farina’s macarons, but we’re otherwise ready for the canelé to have its moment.

1. Farina Bakery 337 NW Broadway Flavors: Meyer lemon, chocolate hazelnut Rating: 87 points Laura Farina crafts her elegant creations in the communal KitchenCru space and sells them in bright display boxes at shops like Moonstruck and Sterling Coffee Roasters. Her macarons are as pretty as anything on the market, and tastier than the rest. We found Farina’s creations had just the right amount of chewiness that accentuated rich chocolate hazelnut or a lemony tang.

Tasting notes: “Shiny!” “Thank God. Flavorful with lovely texture.” “A world apart.”

2. Pearl Bakery 102 NW 9th Ave. Flavors: Salted caramel, chocolate mocha Rating: 62.6 The lopsided shells with whipped filling seeping out of the edges looked sloppy, but tasted spot-on. We found the sea salt on the caramel to be overpowering, though this was counterbalanced by sweet, creamy fillings.

Get to the cafe early, because by 4 pm the macarons are sold out.

Tasting notes: “Unexpected smokiness and overwhelming saltiness.” “Strong filling f lavors.” “Loved the fluffy texture, though I’m not sure it’s suppose to be so fluffy.”

3. Petite Provence 1824 NE Alberta St. Flavors: Passionfruit, vanilla, almond Rating: 54.8 A French baker opened this local chain in Lake Oswego in 1996. Inside the newest outpost on Alberta, you’ll find a colorful assortment of cakes, cookies and more exotic fare. Petite Provence’s very solid macarons come in flavors for the adventurous (passionfruit and blueberry) and traditionalists (chocolate and vanilla).

Tasting notes: “Good springiness but tasteless.”

“Lemon as in Lemon Pledge.” “Sugar.”

4. Papa Haydn 701 NW 23rd Ave. Flavors: Chocolate hazelnut, pomegranate, vanilla

taste the rainbow: Farina’s winning line of macarons.

Rating: 54.2 Papa Haydn has been making desserts in Portland for 35 years and has a huge variety, including chocolate hazelnut and vanilla macarons we found too sweet. The chocolate tasted more like a heavy brownie on crack, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. One bite of the vanilla resulted in a 30-minute sugar high.

Tasting notes: “Tasted like Safeway cake.” “It’s something you’d take to your niece at a tea party. A child would like it.” “I feel like someone took baking sugar and plunged it into me.”

5. Pix Patisserie 2225 E Burnside St. Rating: 50.8 Flavors: Maple bacon, violet, sea salt caramel Pix is a longtime Portland favorite run by one of the most talented bakers in town, and was recently anointed the best of five local macarons by an Oregonian critic.

We pushed back our taste-off to get Pix’s wares fresh just after the shop opened, but they did not impress.

One WW taster preferred the maple bacon over all other maple-bacon treats in town. Others complained the perfuminess of the violet flavor was off-putting, with one reviewer comparing it to amoxicillin.

Tasting notes: “Tasted like corner-store doughnuts.”

“The floral flavors are way too overpowering.” “Maple bacon was better than the doughnut—or the beer!”

6. Ken’s Artisan Bakery 338 NW 21st Ave. Rating: 50 Flavors: Pistachio, salted caramel, chocolate Measuring at least 2 inches in diameter, Ken’s supersized macarons were chewier than we hoped (like our winner, Farina, they were purchased the night before our taste-off ). The chocolate was heavy and rich, and the pistachio had a vibrant Kermit-colored exterior, but was bland. The espresso dusted on the salted caramel was overpowering.

Tasting notes: “All color, no substance.” “Pistachio looks like Kermit with a dull cream.”

7. Nuvrei 404 NW 10th Ave. Flavors: Valrhona Araguani & raspberry, white chocolate, pistachio Rating: 45 The macarons in Nuvrei’s small, neat glass case are lined up like a little army of soldiers in every color. We found the fillings in the white chocolate and pistachio macarons to be a bit too sticky, and the outer shell lacked the crispness we were looking for, though we enjoyed the pistachio.

Tasting notes: “Shrug.” “Unpleasantly sticky.” “Too sweet…like cotton-candy sweet.”

8. Jade Teahouse 7912 SE 13th Ave. Flavors: Chocolate, almond, salted caramel Rating: 44.6 With Sriracha bottles on every table, Jade Teahouse is more a noodle joint than a bakery. Jade offers several traditional macaron flavors like chocolate and almond, made fresh daily. The sugary consistency of the chocolate filling felt like it belonged on a cupcake, and the bright orange color of the sea salt caramel gave it more of a gingerbread look. They weren’t bad, but the vibe wasn’t at all French.

Tasting notes: “Sea salt caramel is not macaron in texture in any way, but it’s a pleasant caramel chew.” “The chocolate filling tastes like cheap frosting.” “Like caramel chewing gum stuck inside an eggshell.”

9. Two Tarts 2309 NW Kearney St. Flavors: Earl Grey, coffee cream Rating: 39.4 On our visit, Two Tarts offered us two f lavors: Earl Grey and mocha espresso. Both had a delicate shell and creamy filling, but the flavors didn’t impress. We found the Earl Grey much too flowery and not enough like the true flavor of the tea, and the espresso was burnt like a day-old cup of joe.

Tasting notes: “Like eating my grandmother’s bathroom.” “Soapy but delicate.” “I drink Earl Grey every morning and love it; this was gross.”

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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buy local

photos by emma browne

CULTURE

STREET PG. 19

AVANT GARDEN CUTTING-EDGE LOCAL TOOLS TO MAKE YOUR SPRING RUTS BEAR FRUIT.

by Sava n n a h WaSSer ma n anD KaThryn

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Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

P eIFer 243-2122

In a city of backyard plots and community gardens, it shouldn’t surprise you that there’s also a bumper crop of local companies making tools for our own particular gardening needs—whether organic or just plain rugged. For example, Portlanders in the damp will want something a bit sturdier than a garden clog, hence LaCrosse’s gardening boots. And, of course, there’s a Portland blacksmith hand-forging garden tools. But who knew McMinnville was making innovations in garden hoses? Or that Milwaukie was harvesting magic dust from glaciers? Check out these Oregon-made garden tools, and then deck out your bed with fiddleneck and Zeus Juice.

BUY LOCAL

CULTURE

Oregon Garden Art Copper rain chain, $106.99; oregongardenart.com.

Red Pig Garden Tools

Heavy-duty hand hoe, $50; two-tine hand weeding fork/ Jekyll weeder, $31; root saw, $36. All available at redpigtools.com.

Rain gutters? Usually not exciting. But you can hang a rain chain from your gutter in place of a downspout, and watch the water elegantly trickle down. Made by Oregon Garden Art in Coos Bay, these 6-foot copper rain chains are made of sturdy 8-gauge wire. Place a block or bucket at the bottom to collect the water, or dig a hole to act as an underground cistern.

These Red Pig originals are hand-forged by Bob Denman, a local blacksmith who works out of a twostory workshop and barn he built himself. The blade and shaft of the hoe are made with an 8-inch steel rod, with a handcrafted wooden handle connecting to the shaft.

The 8-inch Jekyll weeder is used for prying out uncooperative weeds, while the hand saw will take care of 2-inch-thick roots of shrubs and trees.

Water Right Inc. Slim & light polyurethane garden hose, $59.95; waterrightinc.com.

Laying hose is easy. Coiling it back up is hard. But the resin on this lightweight, flexible hose from McMinnville’s Water Right allows it to be tied in a knot without causing kinks.

And in case you or your dog like to swig from the spigot, the hose is lead-, BPAand phthalate-free, with American-made polyurethane.

The powerful hydrator, which can pump four to five gallons of water per minute, is also pretty to look at: It’s available in colors from eggplant purple to olive green.

LaCrosse boots LaCrosse Hampton II red garden boots, $100; lacrossefootwear.com.

Originally opened in Chippewa Falls, Wis., the Danner Shoe Mfg. Company was moved by Charles Danner to Portland in 1936 after he heard that logging boots were selling for around $20 a pair—a fortune back then. So it’s some seriously old-school outdoor gear; Danner has owned LaCrosse Footwear for 20 years, as well.

The Hampton II boots get their durability from the waterproof rubber exterior—also tear resistant—and a cushioned interior that helps you get the job done comfortably.

Concentrates Inc. Gaia green glacial rock dust, $16.40; concentratesnw.com.

Oregon’s Only Organics

“Magic dust” is a byproduct cultivated from ancient rock glaciers that recede and contract for millions of years. Milwaukie’s Concentrates Inc. says sprinkling it as fertilizer will make for healthier, faster-growing plants because the product’s 67 trace minerals will resist frost and yield livelier, enriched soil. Picture your garden crawling with beneficial earthworms, all high on “magic dust.”

It’s like James and the Giant Peach without the seagulls.

Zeus Juice, $65 a gallon; Aphrodite’s Extraction, $60 a gallon; oregonsonly.com.

BrewForge

Available at Roots Garden Supply, 6850 N Interstate Ave., 285-4768.

It apparently takes the might of Greek gods to produce good food. Springfield’s Oregon’s Only Organics claims the carbon in Aphrodite’s Extraction—a blend of sucrose, glucose and phosphate—yields prettier, more flavorful crops by promoting a healthy microbial population. Zeus Juice, meanwhile, is meant to amp up a plant’s metabolic rate, for enhanced nutrient uptake.

Garden stakes, $6; etsy. com/shop/BrewForge.

Circlehoe

Handmade from cedar and solid copper, BrewForge garden stakes are a gentle reminder of what’s taking root in your garden, whether carrots or Cascade hops.

And they look a lot more pleasant and natural than those flimsy plastic tags your mom used. Over time, the copper will take on a quaint verdigris patina.

Circlehoe, $32.95; circlehoe.com Weeding on all fours, the most dreaded task for any gardener, is no longer necessary.

Grants Pass’ Ralph Henningsen, an avid gardener for over 50 years, created a weeding device designed to rid your garden of pestering weeds without damaging surrounding plants. The sharp bottom edge easily cuts weeds below the ground and breaks up soil, while the remainder of the circular edges are rounded and smooth, allowing you to get close to other plants without hurting them. The Circlehoe comes in mini, handheld and long sizes so you can weed kneeling or standing.

Portland Apron Co. Gardening aprons, $30-$62; portlandaproncompany.com.

Erika Kelly, owner and designer of Portland Apron Co., cuts and stitches her aprons from organic hemp, canvas and linen fabrics.

Sewn in several different shapes, the aprons come in solid colors and floral designs, and have pockets to hold your hand hoe while you work in the dirt.

VISIT OUR NEW AND IMPROVED SHOWROOM! •Educated, knowledgeable staff who are happy to help with gardening questions or soil test interpretation •Chicks in this spring! Livestock feed, gardening supplies, plants & more...

STORE HOURS: M-F 9am-6pm SATURDAYS 9am-4pm

Environmental Seed Producers Phacelia tanacetifolia flower seeds, $18.50 a pound; wildflowerseed.com.

Also known as lacy phacelia, fiddleneck or scorpionweed, these organic seeds are produced in Marion County but are native to Mexico and the Southwestern U.S. The violet flowers that stem from them are among the top 20 honey-producing flowers for honeybees, providing highquality nectar and pollen. This makes them a hot commodity not only for beekeepers, but for vineyards and gardeners who benefit from pollination.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC

THE TENSION BETWEEN PORTLAND RAP ARTISTS AND POLICE GOES DEEPER THAN THE BLUE MONK.

it’s almost expected. That was something I didn’t want to continue. By performing, it would’ve placated enough people that it would just continue to happen.”

BY M AT T H E W S I N G E R msinger@wweek.com

ven if what happened March 1 wasn’t part of a targeted assault, it speaks to an atmosphere of fear and misunderstanding that many think has festered in Portland for years. It hasn’t gone unspoken, either: In 2006, after four people were shot outside the Roseland Theater following a show by Oakland rapper Keak da Sneak, a precinct lieutenant told the media, “It’s not a coincidence that all these shootings happen after a rap concert.” “Rap concerts lead to fights,” he added.

“There certainly is extra scrutiny on hiphop,” says promoter Mike Thrasher, who owns the Hawthorne Theatre. Two years ago, around the time he bought the venue, Thrasher says he was contacted by Amber Kinney, then a deputy district attorney for Multnomah County, and advised not to book any hip-hop shows. (Kinney, now an attorney for the U.S. District Court of Oregon, did not respond to a request for comment.)

Thrasher refused to implement a hiphop ban, but he did volunteer to vet potentially problematic acts, which he does for artists of all genres. But the only artists he’s been encouraged to run checks on, he says, are hip-hop-related.

Other promoters have similar stories.

Heather du Lac, a former booking agent at Ash Street Saloon, says police were a constant presence at rap gigs but nonexistent at the punk and metal shows the club is primarily known for, to the point of being forced to break ties with its main hip-hop promoter. Chase Freeman, a talent buyer at the now-defunct Beauty Bar, claims cops harassed his events

I

f you had walked past the Blue Monk around 11 pm on Saturday, March 1, it’d be reasonable to assume a crime had taken place. Six police cars were parked in the middle of Southeast Belmont Street, blocking traffic, as another circled the block. Officers stood at the club’s door, barring entry, while in the basement performance space, another three or four cops stood by, taking in a rare hip-hop bill featuring three of Portland’s finest MCs. No one had thrown a punch. No one had been shot or stabbed. Nothing was vandalized or stolen.

The Portland Police Bureau has framed the incident as merely a capacity issue. But overcrowding is not why officers were at the show. The bureau’s gang enforcement team had alerted the entertainment unit earlier in the evening that “gang members” might be in attendance. Arriving 20 minutes into an opening set by Mikey Vegaz, an artist with alleged gang connections, officers, along with the fire marshal, found the venue had exceeded its legal occupancy. That’s when the counters came out. Nervous about the audience reaction if they shut down the bar, officers called for backup. It was never their intent to stop the show, they claim, “merely [to] get the basement crowd down to a safe number,” according to the police report.

It wasn’t the first time police had intervened at a rap concert in Portland over alleged public safety concerns. But for headliner Gregory Poe, aka Illmaculate, it was the last straw.

With members of his entourage stuck outside, including fellow rappers he’d planned to feature during his set, Poe took the stage just long enough to announce he would not be performing. Ten minutes later, the champion battle rapper went on Twitter and declared, “I will not perform in this city as long as the blatant targeting of black culture and minorities congregating is an acceptable common practice.”

That tweet has reignited a conversation that’s been dormant the past few years, at least in popular media: Is the city of Portland trying to snuff out its hip-hop culture?

It’s a question that has been asked repeatedly, on blogs and social media, on Oregon Public Broadcasting and in The Oregonian.

It’s been asked enough that the City Auditor’s Office is conducting an independent review of how Portland police treat hip-hop concerts, to determine if rappers are subjected to unfair scrutiny more than other artists.

Ask the artists, though, and they’ll say there’s no question about it.

“This isn’t an isolated event,” Poe says.

“This isn’t just something that happened at Blue Monk. This is a recurring thing.

Every few months, there’ll be a big enough incident where it’ll get some traction, but

PHOTOS by COlIN MClAugHlIN

HIP-HOP STOPPED E

sOund Of dA pOlIcE: The scene outside the Blue Monk on March 1.

MIkEy vEgAz

luck-OnE

to rap shows, music is only one part of a much larger discussion. It’s an issue that touches on the gentrification of Portland’s historically African-American neighborhoods, on the way the city sells itself, and the country’s racial history in general. It is, as the song goes, bigger than hip-hop.

But even when viewed purely from an artistic perspective, the effects are troubling. Last year, the online magazine Vice published an article titled “Portland Has a Hip-Hop Problem,” in which several artists, including Illmaculate, commented on how authoritarian roadblocks have contributed to keeping hip-hop on the margins of the Portland music scene. Vursatyl of hip-hop group Lifesavas said there is a “crabs-inthe-bucket effect” happening, in which rappers, forced to compete for scraps—or, as writer Thor Benson put it, “a gig in a bar’s basement”—stop supporting one another.

But then, where is that distinction?

Because the Blue Monk police report reads like it’s from an Ice-T show circa 1992. There are references to “multiple derogatory lyrics towards the police,” including “fuck the coppers, all they want to do is hold us down and beat us on the ground.” That line is probably a misquote of “Sounds of My City II,” a song by the night’s second performer, Hanif “LuckOne” Collins, which goes, “where the coppers only judge us/ to show us they never loved us/ they beat us up and they cuff us on the ground.” He repeated it multiple times that night, in direct response to the police eyeing him from the back of the room. In translation, though, the commentary embedded in the lyric is reduced to a middle finger waved in the face of authority.

Is a hip-hop show in the basement of a jazz club an event that would attract gang members because of the background of one performer? Illmaculate has called for an open dialogue to work out a system “that allows [police] to do their job, which is get everyone home safe, and allow us to our job effectively as well, which is to create a positive atmosphere and put on a show,” he says. Maybe establishing that line is a good starting point.

Then again, maybe the time for talking has passed. That’s certainly how LuckOne feels. To him, expecting to forge an understanding with those in power is a losing battle. The only way to get attention, he says, is to use the language of capitalism: He says he’s considering filing a complaint with the state Bureau of Labor and Industries to get back the money he lost on the Blue Monk show.

“I’m not going to bargain with somebody,” says Collins, who moved to New York last year, in part because of the attitude of Portland authorities toward hip-hop. “I don’t work for the cops, the cops work for me. So I’m not ever going to allow them to tell me how I need to do something that isn’t illegal.”

“I DON’T WORK FOR THE COPS, THE COPS WORK FOR ME.” —LUCK-ONE until he was let go by his employers and subsequently “blacklisted from Portland nightlife.” Idris “StarChile” Oferrall is still unclear why police visited Rotture owner Mike Wolfson an hour before Offerrall’s show with North Carolina-based rapper Big Pooh was scheduled to begin, spooking Wolfson enough to cancel the concert.

Other musicians on the bill say it was because of a citywide crackdown that followed a fatal shooting outside Fontaine Bleau, a Northeast Portland nightclub with a primarily African-American clientele— despite there being no clear connection between the shooting and the concert.

“They were there to make sure the show wasn’t happening,” says Adam Arola, who was slated to DJ the Rotture event in November. “They made it clear that if the show had gone on, the city would have made it a nightmare for the club. There was a panic: Hip-hop show. Black promoter.

Cannot happen.”

When talking about the police response

Portland is still home to an emerging class of sharp-tongued MCs releasing a steady stream of albums, mixtapes and videos. But this is a live-music city. How can any artist here expect to develop when promoters and club owners are afraid to book them?

A

sked if the Portland Police Bureau believes hip-hop concerts are more prone to violence than other large cultural gatherings, Sgt. Pete Simpson, a bureau spokesman with experience in gang enforcement and the entertainment unit, let out a long sigh.

“No,” he says. “I think the bureau’s opinion is that with events which are poorly planned and poorly managed, there is a higher risk of violence occurring. I don’t think that’s unusual in any city…. Certainly, we see more shootings and things outside events that attract gang members, but I wouldn’t want to lump that in with hip-hop events, because I think there’s a distinct difference.”

MORE: Read extended Q&As with Portland’s hip-hop artists, police and concert promoters at wweek.com.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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MUSIC

MARCH 12–18 = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply.

Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12 Nick Waterhouse, Friendship Camp

[R&B REVIVAL] When Nick Waterhouse came to Portland the fi rst time, he swung through Star Theater with a cabaret performance as soulful as it was memorable. He returns with a brand-new album, Holly, in tow. His second full-length shows a maturation of the lively crooner who has refl ected on his own brand of hip-shakin’ sounds in these changing times. A distinctive collection of full-band tracks, led by Waterhouse’s classic voice, shows that it’s fi nally his time to step out of the cabaret and seize the spotlight. GEOFF NUDELMAN. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

PDneXt: Mike Q, Ghost Dub

A R T I S T I C R E N D E R I N G BY N I C K D I FA B B I O

[VOGUE HOUSE] In New York, the ballroom scene means something more than just doing a waltz.

For decades, Harlem’s black and Latino LGBT communities have been voguing to harsh house beats and walking balls, competing in dance and fashion contests. Yes, the music and dance of vogue used to be just like that of the Madonna video, though nowadays things have taken a turn for hip-hop and Jersey club.

Leading that charge is Mike Q, a young producer from New Jersey whose releases on Fade to Mind and bootlegs of M.I.A. and Rocko have brought him worldwide attention. Mike Q’s no John Q. Public,

though: “Thunderscan,” a collaboration with Sinjin Hawke released in January, is in a ravey, gritty ballroom all its own. MITCH LILLIE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Shadow House, Spitting Image, Lunch

[POST-WHATEVER] Like Copenhagen punk bands Ice Age and Lower, Reno’s Spitting Image takes a garbled, punched-in-theface, post-hardcore approach to vocals. Singer Austin Pratt prowls around the stage, whipping his mic cord, while his bandmates dredge on behind him. Angry yet playful staccato guitar persists like a gothic poodle prancing to the beat, while the title track on February-released 7-inch “Love on a Terror” is a soundtrack for latenight wanderings through whatever downtrodden city you happen to fi nd yourself in. LYLA ROWEN. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

The Shivas, Moon by You

[FAR-OUT FOLK] Remember the music video for Outkast’s “Prototype”? The one where Andre 3000 plays an alien that lands on Earth wearing an all-white tuxedo and a platinum wig and falls prey to the love of a beautiful female earthling? That scene of cinematic weirdness might be the perfect visual representation of spacepsych rockers Moon by You. The quartet channels a spacey drone similar to Galaxie 500, yet main-

TOP FIVE

BY MAT T HEW SIN GER

FIVE MUST-LISTEN MUSIC SHOWS ON XRAY.FM Take It to the Bridge!

Host: Theo Craig of Rontoms Sunday Sessions.

Program description: “Part serialized sci-fi radio drama, part call-in request show with a focus on music from the Pacific Northwest.”

Chor Bazaar Hosts: DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid. Program description: “Vintage Bollywood/Kollywood/ Tollywood, Hindi pop, ’60s French, Latin niceness & Panjabi folk.”

Optic Echo Presents Host: Mike Jedlicka.

Program description: “Ambient, experimental and modern classical with some old downtempo, IDM and underground hip-hop.”

Traffic Jam Host: DJ and living Tinder meme Montel Spinozza (pictured).

Program description: “An assortment of liberating and sexy jams of yesteryear—funk, soul, boogie, disco and beyond.”

SEE IT: The XRAY.FM launch party, featuring Ural Thomas and the Pain, Old Light and DJ Rev. Shines, is at Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., on Saturday, March 15. 9 pm. $15-$30 sliding scale. 21+. KXRY debuts on 91.1 FM on March 15. Dates and times of programming to be determined.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

Lake Street Dive, The Congress

[THE SOUND OUTSIDE OF PORTLAND] Boston’s Lake Street Dive was allegedly conceived as project that would imbue country songs with an improvisational abandon informed by free jazz, which sounds like such a glorious mess it’s almost a shame the band ended up settling on a kind of rootsy R&B your parents will defi nitely fi nd charming. Certainly, the group doesn’t lament its decision: It’s poised to become the Alabama Shakes of 2014, a breakthrough pop outfi t with generationspanning appeal. Rolling Stone has already declared LSD “The Year’s Best New Band,” and while new album Bad Self Portraits doesn’t live up to the band ’s psychotropic initials, it’s a nonetheless pleasant amalgamation of jazzy swing, ’60s harmonies and soul of the Norah Jones variety—not unlike Portland’s own Sallie Ford, but minus the punk edge and with a conservatory-trained skills set. Get to know them so you have something to talk about with Mom this Thanksgiving.

MATTHEW SINGER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 2848686. 7:30 pm. Sold out. All ages.

THURSDAY, MARCH 13 Boys Beach, Khan Heir, The Fourth Wall

’Buked & Scorned Host: Mike McGonigal, aka DJ Yeti.

Program description: “A selection of killer rare, raw gospel music.”

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tains a relatable, catchy pop sound.

This is the band ’s fi rst show since the release of its EP, Vacuum Dream Machine, the most experimental release for the band so far.

ASHLEY JOCZ. Valentines, 232 SW Ankeny St., 248-1600. 8 pm. $3. 21+.

[VIBRATIONS GOOD] Local trio Boys Beach describes itself as a “moderately bleak indierock band.” Judging by the two new songs recently uploaded to Bandcamp, that’s a fairly accurate description. Let me add another reference to the mix: early Muse.

Before you go there, know this isn’t a bad thing—Boys Beach, more than any Portland band I’ve heard in a while, remind me of the post-OK Computer wave of British bands that tried to sound like Radiohead, missed the mark, but still came off as interesting, if a little derivative. “Allison” in particular is a standout, with slowly chiming guitar, layers of reverb and shuffl ing drums, making it a perfect song to play on headphones as you walk home from the bar alone on a cold night. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont St., 595-0575. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

The Wailers, British Dependency, Still Region

[GREATEST SPLIFFS] The legacy of Bob Marley’s Legend is complicated—something not often said of a record that’s gone diamond in the United States. For hardcore reggaephiles, the monolithic greatest-hits collection is an aff ront to Marley’s, um, legend, reducing a complicated songwriting genius to a peace-and-love stereotype.

For others—that is, the dude you bought weed from in college, and probably your mom—it’s the only reggae they know. The record ’s true status is somewhere in the middle. Do those 14 songs represent the full breadth of Jamaica’s favorite son? Absolutely not. Are most of those songs, in and of themselves, absolutely terrifi c?

You bet. Tonight, Marley’s famed backing band, the Wailers, performs the epochal compilation in its

thursday–saturday entirety. Bassist Aston Barrett is the only remaining member of the original group, but with music this ubiquitous, does it really matter who’s playing it? MAttHEW SInGER. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar Chavez Blvd., 233-7100.

7 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Graves, Mothertapes

[GARAGE LoAD] Since its bucolic beginnings, Wooden Indian Burial Ground’s gone and taken on a shambolic garage-cum-psych stance. With chief groundsman Justin D. Fowler howling out over these ever-changing backings, it’s starting to sound like what would have happened if thee oh Sees hadn’t turned to shit.

Incorporating a bit of acoustic instrumentation back into the mix is a rough gambit, but coalesces more frequently than not. that bit of sheen’s more evident on the Portland band’s work than that of the Bay Area troupe, with a marriage of 1960s-frat luminosity and warbling solos resulting in something almost as enduring as its source material. DAVE cAntoR. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $5 advance, $5 day of show. 21+.

Flight 1 Year Anniversary: Art of Hot, Richie Staxx, Sappho, Joepamine

[tEcHno AnD HoUSE] Plenty of people dream about visiting a San Francisco warehouse rave in the ’90s. But chris Demetras, who performs as Art of Hot, has designed an entire club night around that exact purpose, complete with a plane ticket for a flier. While it may not always be able to replicate the massive illegal spaces to say nothing of the good drugs and even better vibes Flight is an exploration of the playful side of techno, and it’s been damned dedicated in its first year. MItcH LILLIE. The

MUSIC

Rose, 111 SW Ash St., 971-5447330. 9 pm. $3. 21+.

FRIDAY, MARCH 14

Now pouring our own beer and selling burgers at all 3 locations. Pizza, full-bar, brewery and heated patio at our Fremont location.

Jugapalooza

[Hot JUGGIn’] Last month we said goodbye to Dean’s Scene, the local speakeasy that became a little bit too popular for the oregon Liquor control commission’s liking. But another fixture of Prohibition America is still alive and well in Portland.

And plus, it’s totally legal. I’m talking about jug-band music, of course. Jugapalooza will be a meeting of, well, jugs, but also plenty of string instruments, kazoos and washboards. Local acts Smut city Jellyroll Society, How Long Jug Band, tevis Hodge Jr., Blue Flags and Black Grass, Zach Bryson and His natural Born Easemen, and the Jug Band Jammers will share the stage in a nod to feel-good Americana.

GRAcE StAInBAcK. Secret Society Ballroom, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Portland’s Best Wings!

1708 E. Burnside 503.230.WING (9464)

Restaurant & Brewery NE 57th at Fremont 503-894-8973

4225 N. Interstate Ave. 503.280.WING (9464)

SATURDAY, MARCH 15 Bayside, Four Year Strong, Daylight, Mixtapes

[PoP PUnK] Bayside fans aren’t the first to be compared to a cult, but since the band ’s formation in 2000, they have referred to themselves as such, which tells you something about the level of dedication to the Queens-based emo-rockers. Bayside’s latest LP, Cult, is a nod to that history, featuring the walloping drums, shredding guitar solos and blistering, bitter lyrics the band is known for. But its sixth studio album also marks a change for the band, as the words alternately crooned and growled by frontman Anthony Raneri tend to

cont. on page 30

INTRODUCING...

ALI MUHAREB

BY AS H LE Y Jo cZ

Who: Ali Muhareb Sounds like: An anthropomorphized kaleidoscope.

For fans of: Panda Bear, Log Across the Washer, Ducktails, laser-light shows, El Guincho.

Why you care: While you were sleeping, Ali Muhareb wrote his debut solo album. Over a span of late nights in his bedroom on his Mac, while most doze off to Netflix, Muhareb recorded Mujahedeen, a record of groovy, tripped-out electronica. After leaving psych-punk band Talkative, Muhareb decided to flirt with the expansiveness of sound. “The newest thing I really got into was just heavy sampling,” he says, “pulling beats and melodies from all sorts of music and mashing them together to see what sticks.” In previous projects, Muhareb paid homage to his delay pedals and the stoney cartoon show Adventure Time, but with Mujahedeen, he takes his passion for the psychedelic to another level. With rhythmic drum patterns, Caribbean and African music influences and a variety of funky samples, he creates a sound wholly new to the electronic milieu. Unlike his chillwave brethren, who either wax nostalgic for the sensuality of R&B or record glorified Animal Collective tribute records, Muhareb’s music is candid and heartfelt. Portland isn’t the only one noticing, either: Since releasing Mujahedeen in December, Muhareb has planned a small tour in Germany, and will play a show in Hong Kong. While abroad, he plans to collaborate with a new hip-hop-inspired project called Death Whips and hopes to put out a second album upon his return to the States.

Although he can’t set a release date—or even say when he’s coming back—he does promise that his new material will push sonic boundaries even further.

SEE IT: Ali Muhareb plays the Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont St., with Hands In, on Friday, March 14. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

29

MUSIC

SATURDAY–TUESDAY

focus slightly less on failed relationships and more on personal growth. This, combined with guitarist Jack O’Shea’s complex guitar riff s interwoven throughout, make for another confi dent release from the enduring four-piece, and one that marks their maturation alongside the fans who have kept with them for more than a decade. KAITIE TODD. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 7 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

Shpongle, Desert Dwellers, Vokab Company

[AMBIENT TRANCE] Shpongle, the wizards of brain-boiling psych trance have crafted another multisensory live experience, with a tour named after their fi fth studio album, Museum of Consciousness.

Simon Posford (also aptly known as “Hallucinogen”) and Raja Ram have been tickling third eyes for over a decade with their gonzo compositions of world music and electronica. Supporting act Desert Dwellers, on the other hand, is the smooth, vanilla-bean counterpart to Sphongle’s crunchy rocky road, employing a steadier, more ethereal sound. Shpongle audiences are notorious for dramatic costumage and general freak-show antics, so expect visual stimulation on both the dance fl oor and the stage. GRACE STAINBACK. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., (971) 230-0033. 8:30 pm. $22.

All ages.

Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, Sun Foot

[ROUNDBALL ROCK] Stephen Malkmus has never tried to hide his dorkiness. Back when the members of Pavement were the darlings of the indie-rock universe, Malkmus went out of his way to talk about his favorite Scrabble moves instead of hip infl uences. With Wig Out at Jagbags, the 47-year-old frontman’s latest album with his band the Jicks, he’s fully embracing his inner nerd: penning songs about fi ghts at Chicago dive bars (“Rumble at the Rainbo”), jokenaming the most tender ballad after an NBA player’s nickname (“J Smoov”), and singing about cinnamon, lesbians, Tennyson, venison and the Grateful Dead. It’s an almost eff ortless collection of weird pop songs, guitar freakouts and inside jokes, with Malkmus embracing his whims and mostly ditching the extended classicrock jams for hummable melodies and a sort of lovable white-boy soul. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave, 2484700. 9 pm. $24. 21+.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

Leisure LLC, Dead folk

[RAINY-DAY VACATION POP] Dead Folk drawls on about life as if the band lives inside a rain cloud. But tracks on this January’s It Won’t Get Long express an endearing kind of desperation: Life may be bleak, but they’re not gonna let that stop them from keeping their cool. The dissonant, reverb-heavy guitar, soft bass and casual drums are as catchy as they are lackadaisical. Leisure LLC featuring members of Woolen Men, Focus Troupe and Chrome Wings have a similarly cloudy vibe, but they’re new enough that their sound has yet to be pinned down. A year in the works, an album is slated for release in the coming months. Both acts pair up for a night of coping with the persistent drizzle of late winter and early spring. LYLA ROWEN Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

MONDAY, MARCH 17 The Sword, Big Business, O’Brother

[HESHER METAL] The aesthetical choices of the Sword make most metal fans wonder if these musicians are for real. Their lyrics are ripped from a D&D campaign, they’ve opened for Metallica, and their logo would look great airbrushed on the side of a 1983 Club Wagon. Give their 2012 record, Apocryphon, a spin, though, and their muscular tribute to Sabbath and company reveals itself as the real deal—that is, if you’ve got enough pot stashed in your glove box. It’s like Mastodon for the Dazed & Confused set.

PETE COTTELL. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 2337100. 7 pm. $20. All ages.

Tiburones, Hollow Wood, Pheasant

[ALL-STAR FOLK] It’s probably tough to live up to a name like Tiburones, the Spanish word for “sharks.” It’s a fi tting title, however, given the local outfi t’s fi erce folk tunes. Fronted

by Luz Elena Mendoza (Y La Bamba) and sublimely backed by Nick Delff s (Shaky Hands) and Lauren Vidal (Horse Feathers), the newish quintet is still enveloped in its members’ varied roots. The driving, syncopated percussion and Mendoza’s borderline-operatic vocals loom large, yet it’s the enamoring harmonies and twisting electric guitar that drive them on home. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $6 advance, $8 day of show. 21+.

SUNDAY, MARCH 16

TUESDAY, MARCH 18

Ben Taylor

Purling Hiss, Landlines, Havania Whaal

[AIRY FOLK ROCK] Ben Taylor will make you believe a man can fl y if not through his acoustic lullabies that swirl your mind into a dream state, then defi nitely with the childhood Superman onesie he proudly displays between sets.

Taylor’s real superpower isn’t his Comic-Con fashion sense, however, but his ability to pack touches of folk, rock and country into a seamless package that’s gift-wrapped with a snap of pop.

Sound familiar? It should. Ben hails from the gene pool of James Taylor and Carly Simon, continuing a musical dynasty he spent the fi rst half of his life avoiding.

But with his latest album, 2012’s Listening, a destiny of detained instrumentals and focused lyricism fi nally caught up with him.

With crafty guitar melodies and superhero iconography, it won’t get much more American than this. Quick, someone bake an apple pie. ANDREW STEINBEISER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 2883895. 8 pm. $20 advance, $23 day

30

of show. 21+.

[YOU’RE LIVING ALL OVER ME] In recent years, the rock bands that have come out of Philadelphia seem to embody the city’s ruggedness. Outfi ts like the War on Drugs, Kurt Vile and Purling Hiss are stealing tricks from their classic-rock forebears— Tom Petty should get a residual check from how many times he’s name-checked here—while still anchoring their sounds in a more sludgy, blue-collar aesthetic.

Water on Mars, Purling Hiss’ third record, continues the band’s exploration of vintage Dinosaur Jr. and Mudhoney—”Lolita” and “Mercury Retrograde” contain riff s that will rock you all the way back to 1992—without sacrifi cing any of its songwriting chops. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 10 pm. $10. 21+.

This Will Destroy You, Silent Land Time Machine

[CRESCENDO-CORE] 2011’s

TUESDAY/CLASSICAL, ETC. PROFILE

JOHN KEEL

Tunnel Blanket was a cause for concern for most This Will Destroy You fans. It’s a hookless slog that acts as an aff ront to the Texas quartet being lumped in with the likes of Explosions in the Sky. The commissioning of “The Mighty Rio Grande” as the de facto theme music for Brad Pitt’s Moneyball didn’t help, but 2013’s Live in Reykjavik is evidence the band will still reluctantly play to the crowd when it has to. PETE COTTELL. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

MUSIC

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD March Music Moderne: Piano Bizarro presented by Cascadia Composers

[WEIRD PIANOS] Keyboards take center stage in this concert of music by Portland composers Jennifer Wright, including her dazzling “Looper” for eight hands; Art Resnick, best-known as a jazzer, but who also composes in classical styles; and Ted Cliff ord, featuring prepared and unprepared pianos, pianos tuned a quarter-note apart, toy pianos, electric piano and even a “skeleton” piano. The program also includes a piece for amplifi ed harpsichord, voice and music boxes by American-Anglo composer Stephen Montague and a late-20th-century American classic: the promising, doomed New York composer Julius Eastman’s blistering “Evil Nigger” for four pianos.

BRETT CAMPBELL. Michelle’s Piano Co., 600 SE Stark St. 7:30 pm Wednesday, March 12. $10-$20.

H.N. Bhaskar and Ashwin Ramanathan

[KARNATIC VIOLIN] Portland’s Kalakendra presenting organization usually, but not always, sticks to concerts of predominantly North Indian music, so it’s a treat to see two virtuoso violinists who specialize in South Indian music. H.N. Bhaskar, who’s performed with renowned musicians, including Ravi and Anoushka Shankar and John McLaughlin, plays fusion as well as traditional compositions, and Ashwin Ramanathan has worked with Western orchestras and worldmusic ensembles. In this concert of Karnatic music, they’ll be accompanied by Shiva Bharadwaj on mridangam drum and Shankar Viswanathan on konnakol (the vocal percussion that preceded beatboxing by centuries) and morsing, a plucked jaw harp that resembles some kind of ancient dental instrument and produces a unique sound that might surprise even some casual Indian-music afi cionados. BRETT CAMPBELL. First Baptist Church, 909 SW 11th Ave., 228-7465. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 15. $20-$25.

March Music Moderne: MC Hammered Klavier

[CONTEMPORARY PORTLAND CLASSICAL] If Oregon had a Classical Music Hall of Fame like its jazz artists do, Tomas Svoboda would top the list of the state’s living composers. But the quartet of short Svoboda works MC Hammered Klavier—that’s pianist Maria Choban, who’s been playing the former longtime PSU professor’s music for more than 20 years—and other top Portland chamber musicians perform on this concert pack a punch more common in rock music. In fact, Choban transcribed the aptly titled “Storm Session” from Svoboda’s original for electric guitar and bass, and the other rhythmically charged acoustic pieces on this hour-long, no-intermission 75th-birthday tribute to the dean of Portland composers crackle with rock’n’roll electricity. BRETT CAMPBELL. Community Music Center, 3350 SE Francis St., 823-3177. 7:30 pm.

Saturday, March 15. Free.

Brian Crace (second from left), Ray Nelsen (right) and the Cry.

THE CRY SUNDAY, MARCH 16 The members of Portland pop-punk band the Cry live and breathe rock ’n’ roll, and you can tell just by looking at them. The Ramones stare out from a pin on singer and lead songwriter Ray Nelsen’s jacket. An earring shaped like a pistol dangles from guitarist Brian Crace’s ear. For these boys, rock ’n’ roll is a lifestyle, in the way it was for kids growing up decades earlier. And now, with their second album, they’re determined to make rock ’n’ roll their living.

“I see the Cry as a rock-’n’-roll band in its truest form,” says Nelsen, who resembles a baby-faced Johnny Thunders.

Nelsen and Crace, who met at the 172nd Avenue MAX Blue Line station in East Portland while in high school six years ago, are the group’s backbone. They formed the Cry in February 2010, after letting go of their U.K.-style street-punk band A Crooked Look. Nights of getting wasted, doing “stupid shit” and sharing new songs led them to develop an act with a deeply nostalgic view of rock’s past. A number of drummers and bassists have come and gone, but the two mainstays remain close, referring to each other as “brother” and eating dinner regularly with Nelsen’s family.

Nelsen’s father, John, is the Cry’s manager.

The group’s songs are rich in three-part harmonies and classic guitar riffs, unabashedly inspired by the bands they love, such as the Rolling Stones and the Clash. Imagine the Ramones with the fashion sense of T-Rex, and that’s close to the Cry’s aesthetic.

Not surprisingly, Nelsen and Crace feel today’s music is devoid of heart, throwing in with other current bands, such as Wyldlife and the Biters, that are looking to bring old-school soul and sweat back to music. There’s a bit of a disagreement between Nelsen and Crace about whether their sound is anything new, but both think it’s better than most of today’s mainstream rock.

“By trying so hard to do something different than everybody else, [bands today] end up not translating well, and it sounds like a clusterfuck,” Crace says.

The Cry’s first album, which sold 8,000 copies during the band’s U.S. tour, earned many comparisons to Portland punk favorites the Exploding Hearts, another band that found inspiration in rock’s past. At first, the comparison was bothersome, until Nelsen realized he was listening to the band a lot when writing the songs for the Cry’s debut. He and Crace now both concede the Hearts are a major inspiration.

The Cry’s new 10-track album, Dangerous Game, is more polished than its first record, and Nelsen hopes the band’s next album will incorporate more instruments and studio techniques.

The Cry has three new members, including a keyboardist, for its upcoming tour supporting Paul Collins, formerly of ’70s powerpop band the Nerves. Nelsen is excited for the fresh charisma new members bring to a tour. He refers to them as being “very circus”—his way of saying they, like him, enjoy rolling with the punches.

“The show must go on,” Nelsen says. “We’re not gonna stop till we hit the top—or one of us dies.” LYLA ROWEN. Young punks with old souls want to make rock ’n’ roll sweat again.

GET ‘EM ON SALE ALOE BLACC A Lift Your Spirit

$10.95-cd/$14.95-lp

Blacc’s smooth voice and thoughtful lyrics return on his second album, an uplifting mix of pop and soul.

REAL ESTATE

Atlas

$10.95-cd/$16.95-lp

Earning an 8.8 on Pitchfork, New Jerseybased Real Estate return for a more mature and deliberate album of pop songs.

PINK MA MARTINI/VON R RTINI/VON TRAPPS Dream A LIttle Dream $13.95-cd

The legendary von Trapp grandchildren join Pink Martini for an album of international music from Japan to Sweden to Rwanda & France!

Sale prices good thru 3.16.14

We carry turntables, turntable accessories, record sleeves, headphones, posters & more!

NEW & US CDs, DVDs ED & VINYL

FOR ANY & ALL USED CDs, DVDs & VINYL

SEE IT: The Cry plays Valentines, 232 SW Ankeny St., with Chanterelles and the Verner Pantons, on Sunday, March 16. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

31

BAR

GUIDE

Publishes: April 9th, 2014 Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: Thursday, March 27th at 10am

Call: 503.243.2122 Email: advertising@wweek.com

MUSIC ALBUM REVIEWS

SPIRIT LAKE THE BIGGENING (SELF-RELEASED) [PSYCH BLUES] Despite the reservations, sometimes bigger is better. From the onset, Spirit Lake’s third album, appropriately titled The Biggening, is more grandiose than the group’s past efforts. It’s fed by sweeping percussion; howling, distorted solos; and a voice resembling that of Wolfmother’s Andrew Stockdale.

Lyrically, frontman Travis Ferguson remains engrossed in the same downtrodden scuffles and crushed sentiments he showcased on the band’s debut—merciless death, feeble hearts, unbridled deceit, etc.—but his shrill wail is better suited to this raucous blend of late ’60s pop and ’70s blues rock than before.

“Questions (You Never Ask),” with its swaggering electric guitar and touch of cowbell, shakes like a lost Electric Warrior B-side, before trudging through a distorted, three-part guitar solo strewn with operatic backing vocals. “Hellbent,” though nothing more than a two-minute cannonade of bombastic skins and blues riffage, is the perfect homage to a 500-horsepower muscle car, while closer “Crown (Head Like A)” is delivered as straight-up blues.

The Biggening does have its softer moments. “Santa Ana Winds” recalls the burning air that rolls off the Mojave with twanged acoustics and glimmering slide. “I Want Love” expresses longing via slow-burning, staggered guitar and an honest refrain: “I want a love, I want a love, I want a love,” sings Ferguson, as the song quietly dissipates, “that won’t break my heart.” Who doesn’t? BRANDON WIDDER. SEE IT: Spirit Lake plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Melville and Old Age, on Friday, March 14. 9 pm. $5.

21+.

CORONATION RUMOR (WARBLE) [PROTO DANCE] In 1971, Bernhard Mikulski started ZYX Records, feeding an insatiable Western appetite for dance music.

The German label clasped dance to rock using newfound electronic instrumentation. The masses gave up disco for New Wave, but ZYX homed in on a fusion of the two and called it Italo-disco. Forty-three years on, Portland duo Coronation has taken fi rm hold of this wonky, often-forgotten genre.

Not surprisingly, the group’s debut, Rumor, feels European.

Joshua Blanchard and Andy Brown embrace electronica but draw the line at sequencers. They embellish melodies and toy with pitches, but in real time, with real hardware. The record feels like the pilot episode of a ’70s sitcom: a bit campy, homespun, filmed before a live studio audience.

Vocally, Coronation resides somewhere between Peter Cetera and Morrissey, offering quiet conviction that’s at times garnished and dark. There’s a Devo-like playfulness about the record’s sound, especially in the mushy keyboard riffs of “Go for Gold” and “Shine a Light.” But there’s a chill too, reinforced through repetitive electronic refrains that stray from major chords.

Dealing in a back-road genre, Coronation could have gone corny. Whether it’s the lack of excessive studio gadgets or the laid-back counterpunch thrown to New Wave, the duo carries certain attractive impurities. Thus, Coronation escapes the ’80s-affected pack and its attendant clichés, instead shuffl ing toward Italo-disco’s obscure lure. MARK STOCK. SEE IT: Coronation plays the Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., with Dramady, Daniel Rafn and Strategy (DJ set), on Friday, March 14. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

32

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

33

MUSIC CALENDAR

[MARCH 12-18]

= ww Pick. highly recommended.

Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd.

Ninjas With Syringes, Pike Da Squid, Proof 151

Jimmy Mak’s

For more listings, check out wweek.com. jOHNNY ACURSO

221 NW 10th Ave. Eddie Martinez

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

Kenton club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Don and the Quixotes, Anchor, Full Creature

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Joe McMurrian & Woodbrain (6 pm); The Wild Wood, The Hollerbodies (9:30 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Spirit Lake, Melville, Old Age

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way Jo Dee Messina

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Zeltzer

ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. GALL

Beaterville cafe

2201 N Killingsworth St. Open Mic

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

The Fenix Project

Boon’s Treasury

888 Liberty St. NE The Folly

cadigan’s corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Pat Stilwell

doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Nick Waterhouse, Friendship Camp

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Arthur Moore’s Harmonica Party, Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Cameron Quick

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Battle for Warped Tour, King At The Gates, Saving Today, Subtle City, Divides

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Quartet, The Christopher Brown Quartet

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Danny O’Hanlon

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Lone Madrone, Mount Joy, Eugene Human Ottoman

34

co.

Michelle’s Piano

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. New Young Pony Club, Minden,Hustle and Drone

Shaker & Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd.

Robbie Laws Blues Guitar Ensemble

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Shadow House, Spitting Image, Lunch

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. High Boltage

Trail’s end Saloon 1320 Main Street Big Monti

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. The Shivas, Moon by You

white eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Buckle Rash

wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Lake Street Dive, The Congress

ThurS. March 13 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Zeltzer

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Hapa

analog cafe & Theater 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Jason Demains, Portland Timba, Cuban Dance Party

Beaterville cafe

2201 N Killingsworth St. Kivett Bednar Songwriter Showcase

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Jack Dwyer, Ellie Hakanson and Sam Weiss

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Ben Jones and Friends

cadigan’s corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Kenny Lee Blues Jam

Lincoln hall 1620 SW Park Ave. Connie Titterington and Friends

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Julie Collura, Steve Blackman Duo

Mississippi Studios

calapooia Brewing

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Graves, Mothertapes

chapel Pub

Mock crest Tavern

140 Hill St. NE Wild Hog in The Woods 430 N Killingworth St. Steve Kerin

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Tough Lovepyle, Alan Hager/Dave Fleschner Duo

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Sonny Hess

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. The Wailers, British Dependency

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd.

The Breakfast Cowboy, The Modern Folk

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Christopher John Mead and Friends

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Danny O’Hanlon

Kenton club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Dolby Lilack

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters (6 pm); Andrea & the Enablers (9:30 pm)

3435 N Lombart St. Claes of The Blueprints

ringlers Pub

1332 W Burnside The Windshield Vipers

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Boats!, Needles and Pizza

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Boys Beach, Khan Heir & The Fourth Wall

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Chris Dunedis Trio, Andrew Andres Trio

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. 1,000 Fuegos, Marv Ellis

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Gaytheist, Moldy Castle, Order of the Gash

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Eric Sugar Larsen

Original halibut’s II 2525 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. Andrew Kim

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Chris Baron and Friends, Tall Heights

white Owl Social club 1305 SE 8th Ave. Portland Metal Winter Olympics

FrI. March 14 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Zeltzer

ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. The Protons, King Ghidora

Beaterville cafe

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. Ripe Red Apple

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Reverb Brothers, Lesser Bangs, Commonly Courteous

wilf’s restaurant & Bar

800 NW 6th Ave. Richard Arnold & The Groove Swingers

wonder Ballroom

SaT. March 15

3552 N Mississippi Avenue Brad Creel & the Real Deal, Pura Vida Band

600 SE Stark St March Music Moderne: Piano Bizarro presented

by Cascadia Composers

LaurelThirst Public house

2621 SE Clinton St. The Druthers

Millennium Music

Mississippi Pizza Pub

wed. March 12

The Press club

128 NE Russell St. Con Bro Chill

3158 E Burnside St Bye Bye Blackbirds Northwest Tour 2014

al’s den

Kenton club

421 SE Grand Ave. The Synthicists, Alan Park and the 19th Floor

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Andrew Goodwin

JuGhead IN SPace: Jugapalooza is at the Secret Society on Friday, March 14.

The Lovecraft

Portland community college

17705 NW Springville Rd Global Music Extravaganza

rock Bottom Brewery 206 SW Morrison St. SofaKings

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Jugapalooza, Pete Krebs and His Portland Playboys

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. World of Lies, Burning Monk, Toe Tag, Anticulture, Contempt

al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Zeltzer

alberta Street Public house 1036 NE Alberta St. The Stubborn Lovers, Wilkinson Blades

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Geraldine Murray and Nancy Conescu, Max’s Midnight Kitchen

Boon’s Treasury

888 Liberty St. NE Miller and Sasser

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Matt Beltz and Blue Ember, Demure and Matt Lande

calapooia Brewing 140 Hill St. NE Sam Densmore

camellia Lounge

Star Theater

clyde’s Prime rib restaurant & Bar

calapooia Brewing

3341 SE Belmont St. Hands In, Ali Muhareb

camellia Lounge

6835 SW Macadam Ave. The Steve Hale Trio

888 Liberty St. NE Rich Layton 140 Hill St. NE The Van Meyers

510 NW 11th Ave. Michaela Dale and Meghan Wilson, Tom Grant

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Galactic

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Hillstomp, Otis Heat, The Git Rights

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Hamdogs

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Bye Bye Blackbirds, Blue Skies For Black Hearts and Stereo Embers

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. The Old Yellers

The Blue Monk

The Buffalo Gap

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Dram and Go, Fruit of the Legion of the Loom, Pinehurst Kids, Violent Psalms

The Foggy Notion 3416 N Lombard St. The Pynnacles, The Vacillators

The horse radish 211 W. Main St. Big Chief & The Hedgehogs

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Coronation, Dramady, Daniel Rafn

5474 NE Sandy Blvd.

Andy Stokes

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Hillstomp, Rin Tin Tiger, Root Jack

First Baptist church

909 SW 11th Ave H.N. Bhaskar and Ashwin Ramanathan

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Rd. Jim Creek

hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. Bayside, Four Year Strong, Daylight, Mixtapes

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd.

Rocket 3, The Hoons

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Lisa Mann & Her Really Good Band

The Lehrer

Kells

Living room Theater

Kells Brewpub

8775 SW Canyon Ln. The Dixie Wrecked Band 341 SW 10th Ave .

Heather Keizur

Mississippi Pizza Pub 3552 N Mississippi Avenue Three for Silver

Mississippi Studios 3939 N Mississippi Ave. Ural Thomas and The Pain, Old Light, Rev. Shines

Mock crest Tavern

3435 N Lombart St. Johnny Ward Sharkskin Revue

Portland community college rock creek campus

17705 NW Springville Rd Global Music Extravaganza

roseland Theater

Secret Society Ballroom

225 SW Ash St. The Great State, Race of Strangers, The Charlie Darwins, J-Ride

Biddy McGraw’s

Boon’s Treasury

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Stomptown Flamenco

ash Street Saloon

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Dirk Hamilton

St. honore

13 NW 6th Ave. 3 Leg Torso, The Krebsic Orkestar & Three For Silver

Mississippi Pizza

8 NW 6th Ave. Shpongle, Desert Dwellers, Vokab Company

510 NW 11th Ave. George Colligan and Colligan Men

6000 NE Glisan St. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, The Fire Weeds

2958 NE Glisan St. The Yellers (6 pm); Jacob Miller & the Bridge City Crooners, Smut City Jellyroll Society (9:30 pm)

artichoke Music

2201 N Killingsworth St. Down Home Music, Matthew Lindley

3333 SE Division Street Hot Club of Hawthorne

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Dramady, Lord Master, Comfort Zone

112 SW 2nd Ave. Shana Morrison 210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

116 NE Russell St. Everything’s Jake

Shaker & Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd.

Women Songwriters in the Round

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Whiskey’s Lament, The Tanked, Dartgun & The Vignettes

St. honore

3333 SE Division Street Hot Club of Hawthorne

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Sun Foot

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Spookies, Bear and Moose, Glacier Palace

The Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Nagas, Mammoth Salmon, Pinzilla, Lamprey

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. Scott Law Band, Caroline Hecht

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. The Bloodtypes, The Last 45’s, Red Shadows

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Acoustic Jam with Chuck Gilman, the Knuckleheads

Tigardville Station

12370 SW Main Street Tracy Fordice and the 8 Balls

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. Stillwater Vibes

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Soul Vaccination

whiskey city rock Bar 11140 SE Powell Blvd.

Audien

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. The Student Loan, the Plutons, Tevis Hodge

CONT. on page 36

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

35

THURSDAY, AY, MARCH 13 A

“One of the world’s top 100 places to hear jazz” - Downbeat Magazine

FRIDAY, AY, MARCH 14 A

8pm (doors open at 7:30pm). All Ages

WORLD OF LIES BURNING MONK TOE TAG ANTICULTURE CONTEMPT $8.00 at the door.

SUN. MARCH 16

THE CHRISTOPHER BROWN QUARTET

8pm. All Ages come here Portland’s best of Slam and open-style poetry. Sign ups begin at 7:30, so bring your notebook and a few friends down and join in! All Ages, $5 suggested donation. Show starts at 8!

Portland Poetry Slam!

Free!

1033 NW 16TH AVE. (971) 229-1455 OPEN: 3–2:30AM EVERY DAY A AY

HAPPY HOUR: MON–FRI NOON–7PM PoP-A-Shot -A-Shot • Pinb PinbAll • Skee-b Skee-bAll Air hockey • Free Wi-Fi

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Wolflaut, Black33

Blue Diamond

Community Music Center

3350 SE Francis St. March Music Moderne: Electric Marzena Land, Free Marz String Trio

Rewind & Unwind 80’s Pop in a Jazz Format Wednesday nights

w/ John Nastos, Greg Goebel & Dylan Sundstrom 9:30 -11:30 • $5

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Casey Neill & The Norway Rats, Run On Sentence

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Rd. Isaac Turner

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Shana Morrison, Grafton Street, Coming Up Threes

Agnes Flanagan Chapel

Falafel House: 3 to Late–Night All Ages Shows: Every Sunday 8–11pm Free Pinball Feeding Frenzy: Saturday @ 3pm

WITHIN SPITTING DI DISTANCE OF THE T PEARL P

303 SW 12th Ave. Ben Fuller

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes Jam Session

8pm. 21 & Over Whiskey’s lament record release

SUNDAY, AY, MARCH 16 A

BAR SPOTLIGHT

Al’s Den

SATURDAY, AY, MARCH 15 A WHISKEY’S LAMENT THE TANKED DARTGUN & THE VIGNETTES $5.00 at the door.

Wilf’s Restaurant & Bar

MARCH 12–18

800 NW 6th Ave. Jean Ronne Jazz Trio

9pm. 21 & Over

BOAT A S! AT NEEDLES AND PIZZA EN VIVO SHARKS FROM MARS $7.00 at the door.

MUSIC CALENDAR

N ATA L I E B E H R I N G

JIMMY MAK’S

0615 SW Palatine Hill Rd Aldo Abreu

Why have a beer, when you can have a Session?

Mon-Sat. evenings: Dinner from 5 pm, Music from 8 pm

221 NW 10th • 503-295-6542

jimmymaks.com

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St. Freak Mountain Ramblers

Lincoln Hall 1620 SW Park Ave. Portland Wind Symphony

Mississippi Studios 3939 N Mississippi Ave. Ben Taylor

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Rd. Cushion Concerts

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Ramsey McNabb, Billy D

Rontoms

600 E. Burnside St. Leisure LLC, Dead Folk

HOME OF THE $16 MIDSHELF GIN AND TONIC: For a bar that barely announces its presence—just a plain storefront, the name in cursive on the window—Pepe Le Moko (407 SW 10th Ave., 546-8537, pepelemokopdx.com) arrives with a near-cacophonous buzz. The spot, in the basement of the Ace Hotel and co-owned by Nate Tilden (Clyde Common, Olympic Provisions, Richmond Bar), was announced in August 2012. The ensuing year and a half brought snarls with the city and a string of delayed opening dates. On Valentine’s Day, this narrow tube of a bar finally threw open its beaded curtains. Inside, paint-chipped walls are hung with tiny sepia triptychs of alluring women in various states of undress—the most obvious nod to the 1937 French gangster film that is Pepe’s namesake. On a first visit, sans reservation, we ended up at a narrow bar in the back. It was like being in the rear of an airplane, lit by the red glow of the exit sign and in the single-minded path of everyone headed to the lavatory. We looked longingly at the cushy booth where a gray fox and much younger woman shared a tray of raw oysters on ice ($36 for a dozen). That’s a more comfortable perch for sipping one of the cocktails from big-shot bartender Jeffrey Morgenthaler. Shying away from the cinnamon bitters and quinine syrups he uses upstairs at Clyde Common, Morgenthaler’s goal here is to revive long-maligned drinks. There’s a $13 Long Island iced tea, an impeccably well-mixed amaretto sour ($14) and an espresso martini ($11) dressed up with a zingy dash of lemon oil. The Grasshopper ($11) is like an alcoholic Junior Mint, a boozy milkshake of creme de menthe and creme de cacao, ice cream, Fernet and sea salt, served on a silver tray with an old-school striped paper straw that slowly disintegrated. Be careful about ordering off-menu—my co-worker paid $16 for a Plymouth gin and tonic. As we shrugged off our coats to the jazzy riffs of Benny Carter and Art Farmer, the waitress turned sweetly to us. “Are you two from here or visiting?” she asked. We swapped glances, wondering if we looked like Ace Hotel guests or Clackamaniacs out on the town. REBECCA JACOBSON.

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Sick Puppies and Lacuna Coil, Eyes Set to Kill

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Grand Style Orchestra

The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave. Open Mic

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Palo Verde, Rose Gold, Faith Twain

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Chasma Black and Art!, Sofie Buck

The Waypost Coffeehouse & Tavern

3120 N Williams Ave. Whim Grace, The Famous Haydell Sisters, Sarah Hoo

Tom McCall Waterfront Park 2 SW Naito Pkwy.

Portland Market, Castletown

Trail’s End Saloon

1320 Main Street Sundays at the Trails

Vie De Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Chuck Israels Jazz Cafe

36

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Doug Stepina

LaurelThirst Public House

MON. MARCH 17

2958 NE Glisan St. Bad Assets (6 pm); Kung Pao Chickens (9 pm)

Al’s Den

Mississippi Studios

303 SW 12th Ave. Ben Fuller

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Rum Rebellion, Dirty Kid Discount

Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

Sumo

Habesha Lounge

801 NE Broadway St. Hornet Leg, Carsick Cars, Flavor Crystals

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. The Sword, Big Business, O’Brother

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Boulevard Anthology of American Folk Music’ Release Party

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Tiburones, Hollow Wood, Pheasant

Slims Bar

8629 North Lombard St. The Chancers

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Bunker Sessions Open Mic

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. Sonic Forum Open Mic Night

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Towers, North, Die Like Gentlemen

Jade Lounge

The Muddy Rudder Public House

Jimmy Mak’s

White Eagle Saloon

2342 SE Ankeny St. Emerson House Band 221 NW 10th Ave. Dan Balmer

8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

836 N Russell St. Panterface

TUES. MARCH 18

Hawthorne Theatre

Al’s Den

1507 SE 39th Ave. Dead Meadow

Alberta Rose Theatre

221 NW 10th Ave. Partners in Jazz, The Mel Brown Septet

303 SW 12th Ave. Ben Fuller

3000 NE Alberta St. Pierre Bensusan

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Virtual Zero

Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd.

The Gretchen Mitchell Band

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Purling Hiss, Landlines, Havania Whaal

Cadigan’s Corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Hip Deep

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. This Will Destroy You, Silent Land Time Machine

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet

Edgefield

Jimmy Mak’s

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Ready to Roll

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw (6 pm); Amanda Richards & the Good Long While (9 pm)

Starday Tavern

6517 SE Foster Road Joe Baker and Joe New, Bakersfield Rejects

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. The Pagan Jug Band, With Special Guests

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Mac N’ Dub and The Smokin’ Section

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. The Siege Fire, Sciatica, More Hell

2126 SW Halsey St. Hot Club Time Machine

CONT. on page 39

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

37

MARCH MUSIC MODERNE IV Listening to the Here of the Now

32 Events • 19 Countries • 67 Composers

7–16 March 2014 Global Village PDX www.marchmusicmoderne.org

38

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

MARCH 12–18

MUSIC CALENDAR Come Celebrate Music Millennium’s The Blue Monk

45th ANNIVERSARY!

3341 SE Belmont St. DJ Eps, Hype, Gatsby, Packard Browne

The Conga Club

19 SW 2nd Ave. DJ Seleckta YT, Riddim Up Wednesday

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. DJ Robb, Trick

Dixie Tavern

NS 3rd & Couch St. Hump Night

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Jack

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. PDNEXT: Mike Q, Ghost Dub

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. King Tim 33 1/3

Pub at the End of the Universe 4107 SE 28th Ave. Wicked Wednesdays

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. Shafty: A Phish Tribute

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Exhume

THURS. MARCH 13 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Bubble Up

B.C.’s Bar & Grill 2433 SE Powell Tetsuo

Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. Study Hall With DJ Suga Shane

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven, With DJ George

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Rd. Flex Logic and Guest DJs

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Tourmaline, DJ Valen

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Strictly Vinyl, DJ Strategy

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Jake Cheeto

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Misprid Rocks!

FRI. MARCH 14 Alhambra Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

DJ Anjali and The Incredible Kid, Mr. Moo

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. DJ Jakob Jay, Sweat Fridays

EastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. DJ Wobli

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. Lionsden

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Live and Direct, Rev Shines, DJ Nature, Slimkid 3

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Hans Fricking Lindauer Rhythm and Soul Review

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. CrazySexyCool, A 90s Hip-Hop Dance Party

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Bar Hopper

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew, DJ Aquaman

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Dance Party with DJ Horrid

The Rose

111 SW Ash St. Flight 1 Year Anniversary: Art of Hot, Richie Staxx, Sappho, Joepamine

SAT. MARCH 15 CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Revolution, DJ Robb

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. The Central Experience with Gulls & Mr. Peepers

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Go French Yourself! with DJ Cecilia

FRI MARCH 14TH, 6 PM BYE BYE BLACKBIRDS

The Rose

111 SW Ash St. Movement: Tanuki House, Elliott Thomas, Morgan H. Honeydripper

SUN. MARCH 16 Analog Cafe & Theater

Bye Bye Blackbirds—man’s rock ’n’ roll without any of the apparent contradictions ... catchy as hell and buzzing with electricity.

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Sensory, Bittersweet Productions and PANZEN

SAT MARCH 15TH

Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. Sunday Syndrome

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

10 AM – 3 PM FREE VOODOO DOUGHNUTS

219 NW Davis St. The Superstar Divas, DJ Robb

3 PM OFFICIAL ANNIVERSARY & CAKE CUTTING

The Conga Club

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

Reggae VYBZ Sunday

WITH LIVE PERFORMANCE BY DIRK HAMILTON Dirk has been called “A true American master” by well-known producer Dusty Wakeman, and is compared over the years to Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, and Leonard Cohen.

MON. MARCH 17

5 PM THE CRY!

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday, With DJ Robb

The CRY! effortlessly merges 50s style vocal harmonies, the jangle of 60s pop hooks, and the glam-rock attitude of the 70s, with the raw punkish emotion of the Portland street culture from which they emerged.

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. #Testify: St. Patty’s Day Edition!, DJ Honest John, New Dadz DJs, DJ Portia

ENTER TO WIN A LOAR GUITAR SIGNED BY NEW WEST ARTIST ROBERT ELLIS, A TEST PRESSING & TICKETS TO HIS MARCH 26TH SHOW AT MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS!

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures, DJ Waisted and Friends

SUN MARCH 16, 5 PM BART HAFEMAN

TUES. MARCH 18 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

S.Y.N.T. Weekly Dubstep Night

Hafeman is known for his ability to engage the audience and keep them on the dance floor all night with Hit Machine. The band has been a longtime favorite of The Portland Trailblazers.

Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. Soundstation Tuesdays, DJ Instigatah and Snackmaster DJ

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

219 NW Davis St. TNA Tuesdays, DJ Jakob Jay

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Smooth Hopperator

MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER SONGS FROM THE MOVIE ON SALE $13.99

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd.

DJ Easy Finger

Collaborating with composer/arranger and producer Vince Mendoza and working once again with co-producer Matt Rollings, the album harkens to Carpenter’s love of classic film and symphonic music.

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. TRNGL, DJ Rhienna

COURTESY OF MIKE Q

WED. MARCH 12 Berbati

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

Tropical Saturday Salsa

FACE/OFF: Mike Q spins at Holocene on Wednesday, March 12.

TONY TRISCHKA GREAT BIG WORLD ON SALE $12.99 Tony Trischka is one of the leading lights of contemporary banjo. His innovations have inspired players like Bela Fleck and myriad others, helping to define the dynamic banjo stylings of today. With a formidable range from traditional pieces through contemporary experimentation, Great Big World encompasses the generous world of Tony Trischka’s music his sterling banjo, and his extraordinary original tunes.

STEVE MARTIN STEVE MARTIN AND THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS FEATURING EDIE BRICKELL LIVE ON SALE $15.99 CD/DVD & $19.99 CD/BLU-RAY This special live CD/Blu-ray features Martins unique blend of comedy and bluegrass and is a first class evening of excellent entertainment.

MILES DAVIS KIND OF BLUE ON SALE $6.99

DAVE BRUBECK TIME OUT ON SALE $6.99

Few recordings maintain their power to utterly intoxicate for decades as Kind of Blue does. This 1959 all-time classic is one of the monuments of jazz: So What, Freddie Freeloader, Blue in Green, All Blues and Flamenco Sketches. This vinyl release is the way to experience one of the greatest albums ever made.

And now for possibly the most popular album in jazz history! Dave contributes to the notes in this hi-fi version; new photos, too.

Offer ends 4/8/14 Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

39

ACOUSTIC GUITAR SUMMIT CELEBRATING THE WALTERS 10TH ANNIVERSARY

Walters Cultural Arts Center 3/21 7:30pm

top of their form” – The Dalles Chronicle “Amazing diversity and chops...” – The Oregonian

“Guitarists at the

$15 ADVANCE / $20 DAY OF SHOW Call 503-615-3485 for tickets or buy online at www.brownpapertickets.com

2013 -14

Coming Soon: BodyVox-2—3/14; Ron Steen Quartet–4/11; Jay Ungar & Molly Mason – 4/25; Oregon Mandolin Orchestra—5/2; Tears of Joy Puppet Theater Matinee—5/10 (Free)

10TH ANNIVERSARY

SEASON

Visit us online at www.hillsboro-oregon.com/Walters and follow us on facebook!

director’s apr 3 - 5 / 7:30pm choice newmark theatre

“…one of the hottest dance companies in America.”

portland stage reviews

A new App from Willamette Week.

Coming soon!

world premiere sarah slipper stateihsan of matter rustem harmonie défigurée patrick delcroix a fine balance sarah slipper

tickets

nwdanceproject.org / 503.828.8285

also available at Portland’5 box of fice media sponsor

photo / blaine truitt covert

sponsored in part by

dancers / andrea parson + franco nieto

WW’s 2014 Cheap Eats

The Paul G. Allen Family Foundation

PORTLAND GUIDES

40

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

Portland Guides

BEER GUIDE INSIDE

PORTLAND GUIDES

New mobile site!

Find the cheap eats near you!

cheapeats.wwk.gd

PORTLAND GUIDES

PORTLAND GUIDES

PORTLAND GUIDES

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PORTLAND GUIDES

CHEAP EATS willamette week’s 2014

february 19, 2014

willamette week

1

The city’s most comprehensive calendar, now in the palm of your hand.

PERFORMANCE

March 12–18 HOTSEAT

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

M AT T H I A S C L A M E R

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com).

TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Falling

Clackamas Rep presents the first Sunday-afternoon staged reading of its season, Deanna Jent’s drama about an autistic teenager and the struggles of his family. Niemeyer Center, Clackamas Community College, 19600 Molalla Ave., Oregon City, 594-6047. 3 pm Sunday, March 16. $10.

Hungry

Profile Theatre always devotes its entire season to a single playwright— this year, it’s Sam Shepard. But last season, it expanded that mission with the In Dialogue series, which presents staged readings of contemporary plays designed to deepen the conversation about the season’s featured playwright.

First up in the series this season is a play by Amy Claussen, who will attend both readings, about a dysfunctional family at a cafe in New Mexico. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 242-0080. 7:30 pm Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, March 15-16. $15.

Next Fall

Triangle Productions stages Geoffrey Nauffts’ play—which The New York Times called an “intellectual stealth bomb”— about a gay couple with very different religious beliefs. Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919.

7:30 pm. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays (no show Sunday, March 16) through April 6. $15-$35.

Not Always as it Seems

Tales from Portland Storytellers Guild about mysteries and unexpected occurrences. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St., No. 104. 7:30 pm Friday, March 14. $10.

Stories Worth Telling

A night of 10-minute tales from students in Brody Theater’s storytelling program.

Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 2242227. 7:30 pm Thursday, March 13. $5.

The Unexpected Guest

Well Arts, a nonprofit that works with individuals who’ve experienced trauma or physical or mental illness, presents a collection of scenes and monologues written by people living with multiple sclerosis. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 459-4500.

7:30 pm Fridays and 2 pm Saturdays through March 22. $5-$10.

NEW REVIEWS Crimes of the Heart

What happens when three sisters with infamous pasts reunite in their small Mississippi hometown—all because the youngest sister has just shot her husband in the stomach? Well, surprisingly and unfortunately, nothing very debauched. Indeed, the raciest scene in Beth Henley’s 1980 Pulitzerwinning play, directed by Diane Englert at Lakewood, finds a nosy neighbor changing her pantyhose on stage.

Even so, the three Magrath sisters could be called the sisterhood of the traveling madness—their bouts of depression take violent turns to hysteria and attempted suicide. One minute, Lenny, the eldest and most responsible sister, is tidying up the butter-yellow kitchen. The next, she’s blubbering about a shrunken ovary. Meanwhile, the youngest and flightiest sister, Babe, is practicing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on her new trumpet and, two minutes later, is in the kitchen, pulling a Sylvia Plath. As the three sisters, Shandi Muff, Tricia Castañeda-Gonzales and Eleanor Johnson believably portray their characters’ emotional instability while remaining likeable. All three

are making their Lakewood debuts, which could explain why they failed to project opening night. (One elderly woman in the audience even expressed her dissatisfaction during the show.

“They need to speak up,” she said. “I can’t hear a word they’re uttering.”)

Nonetheless, the play is entertaining as it delivers wholesome lessons about family devotion in a conservative, Little House on the Prairie sort of way.

KATHRYN PEIFER. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays; 7 pm Sundays, March 9, 16 and 13; 2 pm Sundays, March 16 and 30 and April 6 and 13. $30-$32.

ALSO PLAYING Bo-Nita

Seattle playwright Elizabeth Heffron’s Bo-Nita, presented at Portland Center Stage, follows the titular 13-year-old and her mother as they react to discovering Bo-Nita’s sort-of stepfather lying dead on the floor. Outrageously dysfunctional chaos ensues as the mother-daughter duo tries to hold everything together the best way they know how—a plan involving fishnet stockings and a belly-dancing costume.

Even when Bo-Nita’s personal beat is buoyant, this remains a complex dance with a dark bite. KAITIE TODD. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700.

7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays; 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays; noon Thursdays through March 16. $40-$55.

The Caretaker

In Harold Pinter’s 1960 masterpiece, all three characters experience some sort of cognitive plight—mental illness, selfdelusion, general remove from reality.

The play scarcely has a plot: A tramp stays at a fetid London flat—evocatively rendered here with water-stained walls, piles of paper and a discarded shopping cart—and interacts with two brothers in ways alternately mundane and bizarre. Younger brother Mick (Jeffrey Jason Gilpin) is a neon-hued maniac clad in orange and lavender, his hair a slicked-back, bleach-blond helmet. He darts about the stage like a razor, his moods and motives shifting like quicksilver. As the dark-haired, lumbering Aston, meanwhile, Jacob Coleman moves as if in slow-motion.

But the real star of this Imago production is a near-unrecognizable Allen Nause, a twitchy, stuttering lump buried under dirty rags. Nause imbues the character with underlying sadness and wicked humor, whether he’s modeling a ridiculous-looking burgundy smoking jacket or insisting on matching laces for the shoes he’s been gifted. Swiveling from scabrously comic to deeply haunting, this production solves no mysteries and heals no wounds. Which is probably the way Pinter would have wanted it—if he ever would have said as much. REBECCA JACOBSON. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-9581. 7 pm Thursdays and Sundays and 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, Feb. 27-March 23. $17-$25.

Gidion’s Knot

The setting is the epitome of pedagogical order. Posters of Hindu deities line the walls, a giant bottle of hand sanitizer sits sentry on the teacher’s desk, buckets of markers top the tables. But in Johnna Adams’ Gidion’s Knot, this cheery classroom becomes a battlefield. A fifth-grader named Gidion has been suspended for mysterious reasons, and his mother, Corryn, stops by for a parent-teacher conference. Corryn is a blowsy, distraught match for the evasive teacher, and understandably so, as the details surrounding Gidion’s suspension trickle agonizingly out. What could be a didactic, hot-button debate is instead

CONT. on page 42

alley talk: W. kamau Bell.

THE RACE IS ON W. KAMAU BELL ON RACISM AND NINJAS. BY r eBecca jacoB son rjacobson@wweek.com

W. Kamau Bell wants to make you uncomfortable.

Bell, one of the sharpest voices on race and politics in today’s comedy scene, has no qualms about calling out people’s assumptions, hypocrisies and unacknowledged prejudices. But he does so with incisive humor and genuine warmth, as on his politically charged (and disappointingly shortlived) talk show, Totally Biased With W. Kamau Bell. In the wake of its cancellation, Bell has put together a national standup tour, titled Oh, Everything!, which hits Portland Monday, March 17. He talked to WW about pronouns, baked goods and why he gets a kick out of calling himself a negro.

WW: You lived in San Francisco for more than 15 years and have described it as a formative place. Can you give an example?

W. Kamau Bell: When I was living in San Francisco, I was doing shows at a theater for three months. The first time I walked to the theater, I passed this bar and there was this beautiful woman out in front. The next time I walked by, I was like, “Man, that bar always has beautiful women.” And the third week, someone was like, “Oh, that’s where trans performers hang out.”

How’d you react?

My initial reaction was, “They almost got me!” As if they’re trying to get me. It’s that straight-man thing: “Everybody wants me. Gay men want me, straight women want me, trans people want me. You almost got me! You almost tricked me!” Only from living in the Bay Area did I realize they’re not playing a trick.

There’s a big story about how we label people. Some people are like, “There are so many more words now that I have to learn, and I don’t know if I can.” I’m like, “Dude, you learned ‘cellphone,’ you learned ‘iPad,’ you learned ‘iPhone.’ We can learn new words.”

People often assume it will be uncomfortable to ask someone what they want to be called.

I think we’re going to get to the point where we’ll see a 6-foot-6, broad-shouldered person with a full beard and a scar on the side of his face and ask, “What pronoun would you like me to use?”

Which label do you prefer for yourself—“black” or “African-American”?

I call myself black. There’s something powerful about the word. It’s got a hard K sound. The color is powerful. The Man in Black. Ninjas. It just feels cool to be black. But I also have a lot of fun referring to myself as a “negro” publicly. I like the word because it invokes the time when black people really started to organize. It’s also fun because it makes people take an intake of breath. I like to point out that the discomfort you’re feeling is yours, and you need to deal with that. A lot of times in America, the dominant group wants to make the marginalized group deal with their discomfort. I’m like, “No, I’m going to give your discomfort back to you.”

What’s it like performing in a city as white as Portland?

I’ve performed in rooms in Portland where it feels like people don’t want to talk about how white the room is. But that means I’ve got to talk about it.

We live in a racialized society. The cornerstone of America is racism. And it’s always going to be that way, until the tectonic plates shift and we all fall into the ground and a whole new species emerges.

And if we’re ever going to get to this thing called “post-racial”—which I’m not saying is a good thing—we need to have a lot of race discussion.

Part of that means white people have to admit their whiteness, and a lot of white people are uncomfortable doing that. A lot of white people are like, “I’m not white, I’m a mutt. I’m part British and Italian and Irish.” And I’m like, “Yeah, that’s all white people.”

For your solo show The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour, you sometimes offer a ticket deal: Bring a friend of a different race and get in two for one. Thought about offering the deal in Portland?

We might need to do that in Portland just to level out the room. But you can’t keep the white people of Portland away. I wouldn’t want to. They bring nice baked goods.

Nice baked goods?

Yeah. There’s a craftiness in Portland. It’s like, “Look, I made you something out of cheese.” see it: W. Kamau Bell is at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663, on Monday, March 17. 9 pm. $23. 21+. Bell also appears on Live Wire Saturday, March 15, livewireradio.org.

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March 12–18

a sophisticated and open-ended discourse that plays out in real time. Dana Green and Amy Newman, the only actors in this taut Third Rail production, are simultaneously sympathetic and detestable, and they maintain the play’s tension through its many pauses and halts. REBECCA JACOBSON. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 235-1101.

7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 15. $27.

King Lear

This compelling Northwest Classical Theatre production, directed by JoAnn Johnson, draws its audience into a chaotic land ruled by sickness and madness. Power is to be divided among Lear’s three daughters: Goneril, Regan and Cordelia. They’re equals in beauty, but only Cordelia embodies purity and filial obedience. Ted Roisum first plays Lear as an infuriated, rigid man who shakes his cane at his “thankless children.” But as the play progresses, Lear becomes something of an innocent babe who recognizes his cruelty and inevitable mortality. KATHRYN PEIFER. The Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-2443740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $18-$20.

Let A Hundred Flowers Bloom

From the beginning, Let a Hundred Flowers Bloom is a romance, a politically driven tale and a riveting comedy.

The action is set in the mid-’90s, as AIDS drugs are improving, and playwright David Zellnik introduces us to a group of gay men and examines how they deal with uncertainty and instability. Yet the production’s tone is far from brooding, with plenty of cheesy porno music and a campy sex scene—or two, if you count a handy in the back of a Payless shoe store— thrown in for good measure. LAUREN TERRY. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through March 22. “Pay what you can” Thursdays and Sundays, $15-$25 sliding scale Fridays and Saturdays.

The Light in the Piazza

Set in Italy in the early 1950s, Craig Lucas and Adam Guettel’s contemporary musical The Light in the Piazza has all the typical elements of a girlgone-abroad chick flick. There’s a happenstance meeting between a bright-eyed American tourist and an attractive Florentine boy who doesn’t speak English, their relatives’ amusing meddling, and the will-they-or-won’tthey drama that ensues. But the girl here is Clara, a 26-year-old who was kicked in the head by a pony while young and still tends to act like a child, joyously shouting “olly olly oxen free!” in a busy cathedral. What further distinguishes this show, presented at Portland Playhouse, is the separate love story that unfolds—the one focused on mother and daughter, as the protective parent learns to let go.

As the mother, Susannah Mars captures a sternness that quickly melts into sadness when remembering a past love or when tucking an upset Clara into bed. Merideth Clark just as skillfully embodies Clara’s bright curiosity and passion as she runs around stage, smiling and dancing at the wind and the flowers, or crying and raging at her mother for saying “no.” These relatable moments of unconditional love often shine over a more traditional— though still very sweet—romance.

KAITIE TODD. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $32-$36.

The Motherfucker With the Hat

As Stephen Adly Guirgis’ comedy opens, main character Jackie (John San Nicolas), a recovering drug addict on parole, enters his bare-bones apartment with near-boundless energy. He’s landed a job and feels buoyed by the promise of a fresh start for himself and his childhood sweetheart Veronica (Diana DeLaCruz). But that fades when he notices an unfamiliar man’s hat on the coffee table. It’s like “motherfucking Zorro leaving his Z” all over the place, and Jackie slumps into an emasculated wreck. Jackie bumbles through entertaining tantrums on his search

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for the titular motherfucker, relying on his AA sponsor Ralph (Victor Mack) and cousin Julio (Gilberto Martin del Campo, infectiously hilarious). As the plot develops, though, the script’s perky sarcasm becomes tedious. Yet this Artists Rep production, directed

by Kevin Jones, still manages to tell a surprisingly lighthearted and often very funny story of drug abuse.

LAUREN TERRY. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 2411278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays and 2 pm Sundays, Feb. 25-March 30. $25-$55.

Nashville Hurricane

In this one-man show, Chase Padgett spins a tale of a guitar-playing savant, all the while doing plenty of fingerpicking himself. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Friday-Saturday through March 14.

NT Live: War Horse

A hi-def broadcast from London’s West End of the hit play about France during World War I, featuring some of the most epic puppets ever to gallop across a stage. World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St., 235-1101. 2 and 7 pm Sunday, March 16 and 2 and 7 pm Saturday, April 5. $15-$20.

One Flea Spare

The subject of Naomi Wallace’s 1995 play might be bubonic plague, but in many ways One Flea Spare is driven as much by the mind as by the flesh.

It’s 1665 in London and a patrician couple, the Snelgraves, have discovered that two rogue individuals— a coarse sailor named Bunce and a 12-year-old girl claiming to be the only surviving member of another wealthy family—have infiltrated their estate. That means all four are subject to another monthlong quarantine, enforced by a lecherous, drunken watchman. As he patrols the periphery, the estate becomes a hothouse of sexual transgression, psychological manipulation and defiance of class hierarchies. Wallace’s poetic language can grow frustratingly self-conscious and opaque, so the best moments in this Shaking the Tree production are those that seize the story’s baser, more visceral potential. In one scene, Bunce (a mesmerizing Matthew Kerrigan) thrusts an orange onto Mr. Snelgrave’s outstretched index finger and then pulls it off, squeezing the fruit’s juice into his own mouth.

Samantha Van Der Merwe’s thoughtful direction makes this an odd and unsettling study of how the omen of death can pervert all we expect from life. And when the music pulses—the song choices span from M.I.A. to Rage Against the Machine—you’ve never had so much fun in quarantine. REBECCA JACOBSON. Shaking the Tree Studio, 1407 SE Stark St., 235-0635. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 5 pm Sundays through March 22. $18-$22; Thursdays “pay what you will.”

A Small Fire

In Adam Bock’s play, Emily Bridges, a hard-headed and hard-hearted construction boss, slowly takes leave of her senses—literally. First smell goes, then sight, then hearing. It’s like being drunk, but awful. Were Emily—who is openly contemptuous of both her nurturing husband and her daughter’s cheese-importing fiance—a more sympathetic character, this would be Lifetime movie territory, a pornography of suffering. But A Small Fire is less interested in her pain than her redemption, and her ability to connect with her husband and daughter even as her senses depart. While the staging and movement between scenes is terrifically elegant—a Portland Center Stage hallmark—Rose Riordan’s direction seemed a little rushed on opening night, and much of the tense dialogue between Emily (Peggy J. Scott) and her mostly estranged daughter (Hollye Gilbert) was clipped and forced. As a consequence, the emotional center moves from Emily to Tom Bloom’s Mr. Bridges, as he reacts to her plight. His charisma, sadness and simple joys are enough to carry most of the play’s water. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700.

7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays; 2 pm

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

Saturdays-Sundays; noon Thursdays through March 23. $29-$67.

Tartuffe

Molière’s 17th-century comedy Tartuffe gets a Texas twang and country tunes in this rollicking Post5 Theatre production. The cast turns the rhymed verse into something conversational, and all the while maintaining their Texan accents. The production is livelier than the rowdiest of parties, amped up by live guitar, violin and yodeling, and it toys with questions of piety and morality while inciting genuine laughter. KATHRYN PEIFER. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 971-258-8584. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through March 16. $15 Fridays-Saturdays; “pay what you can” Sundays.

Zombie in Love

Oregon Children’s Theatre stages a world-premiere musical about a lonely, brain-eating boy who just wants to find the girl of his undead dreams. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-9571. 2 and 5 pm Saturdays and 11 am and 2 pm Sundays through March 23. $15-$28.

Lez Stand Up

Experiments, Brody’s regular improv jam, to benefit Domeka Parker. Parker wears many hats at Brody (teacher, promotions director, ensemble member), and she’s undergoing treatment for cancer. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7 pm Sunday, March 16. $12$15..

Kirsten Kuppenbender hosts a showcase that spotlights standup with a lesbian, feminist slant. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Thursday, March 13. $7-$10.

Late Night Action With Alex Falcone

Sam Tripoli

Well, this is interesting—Alex Falcone has snagged Beast’s big-shot chef Naomi Pomeroy, who can be a prickly cookie, for his late-night talk show.

Also on the guest list are Ken’s Artisan founder Ken Forkish, comic Curtis Cook, sketch-comedy group the Aces and music from Mont Chris Hubbard, who brings along his Bonus Show Trio.

Secret Society Ballroom, 116 NE Russell St. 9 pm Saturday, March 15. $10-$15.

The comedian, known for his libertarian leanings, filthy mouth and political incorrectness, hits the Funhouse stage for a one-night stand. Kristine Levine, Lonnie Bruhn, Jonas Barnes and Lauryn Petrie provide opening sets.

Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 8 pm Tuesday, March 18. $15.

Show Us Your Wits

Andie Main and Charlene Conley’s monthly standup showcase returns, with sets from Lucia Fasano, Jon

REVIEW CASEY CAMPELL PHOTOGRAPHY

PERFORMANCE

COMEDY & VARIETY The Big Combo

Some stellar talents—namely Caitlin Kunkel and Jason Rouse—have put together a new sketch-comedy show with topics spanning from rotisserie chickens to time travel to the wisdom of 4-year-olds. The cast is strong, too, featuring Jed Arkley, Jennifer Rowe, Brooke Totman and others. Action/ Adventure Theater, 1050 SE Clinton St. 10:15 pm Fridays-Saturdays through March 29. $15-$20.

Bryan Callen

Standup from a comedian who was a member of the original MADtv cast and who also had a bit part on Sex and the City as a gentleman who preferred, in Carrie’s words, “jackrabbit sex.” Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, March 14-15. $22$29. 21+.

Buffy! A Parody Play

If the smell of county-fair corn dogs isn’t a dead giveaway, then consider this fair warning: Buffy! A Parody Play is not a highbrow evening at the theatah. This Funhouse Lounge production is more like an R-rated carnival ride funded by Mel Brooks on food stamps.

Whereas the original 1992 film could never quite tell whether it was playing the joke on itself, this version takes the inherent corniness to town, crowns it and proclaims it king. Punches are met with mistimed “pow” sound effects, like an audible comic book.

Gymnastics are replaced with stagehands flipping cardboard cutouts of the actors. In this case, self-awareness is certainly a boon. Landy Steckman’s turn as Buffy comes with the perfect amount of valley-girl cheese, stuffed with enough shrill lines like “That’s so fetch!” and “As if!” to fill Venice Beach.

If only the parody portion of the play were similarly robust. With just a few ad-libs and a Twilight reference to distance itself from the original screenplay, Buffy! A Director’s Cut might have been a more appropriate title.

But to complain that this parody lacks originality is like bemoaning a corn dog for being too greasy. ANDREW STEINBEISER. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through March 29. $12-$18.

Comedy Is OK

Standup from Jason Traeger, Christian Ricketts, Tim Hammer, Dina Foley and Jacob Christopher. Valentine’s, 232 SW Ankeny St., 248-1600. 9 pm Monday, March 17. Free.

Free Verse

Poets and improv artists riff off each other’s work to create fresh words and scenes. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 15. $9-$12.

Improv Benefit for Domeka Parker A special installment of Diabolical

family ties: Kevin Connell (left) as the mad king.

LEAR (BAG & BAGGAGE) Shakespeare goes steampunk.

“We do things differently in the suburbs.”

So said Scott Palmer, artistic director of Hillsboro’s Bag & Baggage Productions, in a pre-show introduction to Lear, a stripped-down, corseted-up retelling of Shakespeare’s tragedy. Palmer also had this word of warning: “This ain’t your grandmother’s King Lear.”

He wasn’t kidding. In Palmer’s adaptation, there’s no mention of Edgar, Edmund, Kent or Gloucester. Five actors handle the whole story, which focuses on Lear’s complicated love for his three daughters, Regan, Goneril and Cordelia. This production drops the political for the personal, and the results are often stunning. The costumes are steampunk Elizabethan, and the gorgeous (and sometimes needlessly distracting) lighting design is a scrim-lover’s wet dream.

Reimagining Shakespeare is, of course, nothing new. Ever heard of the ninja-action-figure version of Macbeth? There’s also an Othello as told by your sassy gay friend and a Hamlet in which everyone speaks Klingon. Starry-eyed directors sometimes adapt Shakespeare just for adaptation’s sake, which is, more often than not, a disservice to the text.

But, given that King Lear is a sprawling and complicated mess-terpiece, trimming it down to its essentials makes good sense.

In this case, it also makes great theater. As Lear, the king who divides his land and lucre between the conniving Regan and Goneril while disowning the kindhearted Cordelia, Kevin Connell is a powerful presence. He convincingly inhabits Lear’s descent into madness, as well as his very real regrets. Still, his intensity could be tempered slightly. When you set the volume to 11 from the outset, there’s little room for further emoting, and the more subtle moments get drowned out in the sound and fury.

Lear is the star here, but Jessi Walters, Rebecca Ridenour and Stephanie Leppert are lovely as the fruit of Lear’s loins, and Benjamin Farmer plays Perillus, Lear’s man (and a bit of a stand-in for the male roles cropped from the script), to perfection. There’s even an inspired bit of double casting: Leppert plays not only Cordelia but the Fool, to spooky, poignant and heartbreaking effect.

In Act 5, as the bodies start to pile up in the true fashion of a Shakespearean tragedy, Lear is alive but barely. “All’s cheerless, dark and deadly,” he says. True. But not in the suburbs. DEBORAH KENNEDY. see it: Lear is at the Venetian Theatre, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, 345-9590. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 23. $20-$30.

MARCH 12–18

Spectravagasm IV: Opiate of the Masses

More late-night sketch comedy from Post5, this time battering at religion.

Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 971-2588584. 10 pm Friday-Saturday through March 14. “Pay what you can.” 21+.

The Weekly Recurring Humor Night’s 3-Year Anniversary Extravaganza

One of Portland’s longest-running and most reliable standup nights celebrates its third birthday with a milelong list of comics that includes Shane Torres, Sean Jordan, Kristine Levine and Christian Ricketts. Hosted, as ever,

by Whitney Streed. The Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 9 pm Wednesday, March 12. “Pay what you want,” $3-$5 suggested.

developers turned Red Cap Garage into a shopping arcade. Now, after reading too many books, Artemis is back and has revived the show at a new location and booked avantgarde New York drag queen Milk to perform. Hold on to your ankles, folks. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439. 8 pm Wednesday, March 12. $7. 21+.

St. Patrick’s Day Festival

The Tir Eoghain ceili dancers and Molly Malone Irish Dancers hoof it as part of this annual festival from AllIreland Cultural Society of Oregon.

It’s family-friendly, if Kells isn’t your thing, and also includes music from the Tualatin Pipes and Drum Band, as well as Mikey Beglan and the East Ave Ceili Band. Ambridge Event Center, 376 NE Clackamas St., 286-

4812. 4 pm Monday, March 17. $5-$10, kids 11 and under free.

Stomptown Flamenco

The percussive dance collective presents Zapateado, an evening of dance and live flamenco music.

Dancers Elena Villa, Lillie Last, Kelley Dodd and Montserrat Andreys join Madjaleo, a band led

by Brenna McDonald, who’ll play flamenco pop songs about los amores y desamores. The Rose City Fandangueros also contribute their Son Jarocho style of Mexican Son folk music. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3231. 9 pm Saturday, March 15. $5 suggested.

For more Performance listings, visit

REVIEW PAT M O R A N

Washington, Zak Toscani, Nariko Ott and Stephanie Purtle. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 15. $5 suggested.

PERFORMANCE

DANCE Burlescape

A little boylesque, a little gurlesque—what could be better than a striptease show that doesn’t discriminate based on gender? A jovial crowd gathers for this monthly show, now three years old, produced

by Zora Phoenix. The lineup includes contemporary dancer Tod Alan, burlesque performer Judy Patootie and Isaiah Esquire, a glam adonis known for gender-bending. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St., 235-8150. 9:30 pm Saturday, March 15. $10. 21+.

Don’t Mess With Texas Burlesque

Tana the Tattooed Lady, a native of Amarillo, Texas, brings in Dallas dancer Honey Cocoa Bordeaux for a racy tribute to the Lone Star state. Bordeaux, who shifts between classic and neo-burlesque, joins Holly Dai and Rummy Rose, whose numbers tonight have a smidge of yeehaw, and the tattooed lady, who’s embarking on a “new sleazy rockabilly outfit” as a singer with Duff ’s Garage staple the High Flyer Trio. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm Saturday, March 15. $8. 21+.

Improvlesque

Any burlesque performer worth her Swarovskis can prance around to ‘40s jazz, but what about when the audience picks the music? The second installment of this competition show pits Lily Le Fauve, Claire Voltaire and Baby LeStrange against each other for the title of Glitter Queen. The theme: Divas. Burlesque audiences are notoriously kind, so try to mix things up with some Celine Dion. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439. 8 pm Thursday, March 13. $10. 21+.

Luciana Proaño

Dressed like a circuit-party alien in silver lycra and feathers, Peruvian dancer Luciana Proaño loosely embodies the life cycle of an insect.

The solo piece, first performed in 2001, is set to Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring, a popular piece with dance artists, but one with which Proaño has a long relationship—as a child, her father always wanted her to dance to it. It’s inspiring, too, of course: the apparent chaos, the dissonance and multiplication of rhythms. Likewise, she says she’s always felt very close to insects (insects and birds, actually). “I guess being an insect is my way of transcending and transgressing the human condition,” she says. Studio 14, 333 NE Hancock St., 971-2750595. 8 pm Fridays March 14-28 and April 11-25. $10-$15.

Peep Show

Drag queen Artemis Chase literally went to live in a cabin on a hill two years ago—really, she’s not even sure if the area was incorporated.

With her departure, she left behind Peep Show, that mix of drag, choice tastelessness and out-of-town talent, that eventually met its demise when

DON’T NEED A WALL TO LEAN ON: ’Cause I depend on me.

INDEPENDENT WOMEN (SOCIAL SCIENCES) Girl, I didn’t know you could get down like that.

My all-time favorite Onion story is one from 2012 headlined “Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating the Living Shit Out of Each Other.” I thought back to that article during Independent Women, the first production by fledgling company Social Sciences (it’s headed by Ashley Hollingshead, who directs this show with a spirited, thoughtful touch). The title harks back to the 2000 Destiny’s Child single, that soul-stirring proclamation of female wherewithal. But while that anthem plays a role—the show opens with an exuberant if overlong and somewhat patchy dance routine set to the song—the more satisfying and novel moments are those that comment on the relationships between women, rather than on all the individual “honeys who makin’ money.”

This is a devised show, which in non-theater terms means the performers, six 20-something women in boxy coveralls with rainbow-colored chemises underneath, are also the creators. They’ve stitched together their own words with a few song-and-dance routines, stories about their grandmothers and World War II-era oral histories (if Queen Bey is one of the show’s fairy godmothers, Rosie the Riveter is the other). The approach leads to a cluttered, kitchen-sink quality—the barrage of statistics overwhelms more than it illuminates—as well as some missed opportunities for humor.

But the most trenchant moments are those that eschew larger debates—whether women can have it all or why society continues to perceive working mothers with disdain—to expose something raw or funny about the performers and their relationships with one another. Sometimes it’s literally revealing: Zoe Rudman, with impressive warmth and panache, comes onstage wearing a halfdozen bras and divulges a personal fact with each clasp she undoes.

Then there’s the show’s arguable highlight, a riff on Chicago’s “Cell Block Tango.” Retitled “Cellulite Tango,” each woman identifies a physical insecurity, resulting in a refrain nearly as catchy as the original’s: “Sweat! Ribs! Pooch! Backne! Jewish nose! Small tits!”

Afterwards, as they pair off and exchange praise, it feels neither forced nor perfunctory. They’re just some ladies validating the living shit out of each other. And deservedly so. REBECCA JACOBSON.

SEE IT: Independent Women is at Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St., socialsciencesproductions.com. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through March 22 and Monday, March 17. $12-$15; Thursdays “pay what you can.”

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VISUAL ARTS

March 12–18

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By RichaRd SpeeR. TO Be cONSideRed FOR LiSTiNGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., portland, OR 97210. email: rspeer@wweek.com.

deploys a mixture of gently curving shapes with hard-edged forms, such that each work becomes a kind of visual sonata. March 13-April 26.

Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Morgan Walker: The Mysteries

Untitled (hanging) by Ryan Reggiani

Christopher Rauschenberg: Studio Photography

FINALLY, A MEMORIAL TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. John Callahan--cartoonist, musician, provocateur, quadriplegic—passed away in 2010 and the Friends and Family of John(FFOJ) was formed shortly thereafter to create a memorial.

We now have a location—21st and NW Marshall—and a $100,000 matching grant.

Now you can help.

Please visit ffojohncallahan.tumblr.com to get more information

We tend to have romanticized notions of what an artist’s studio is supposed to look like: brick walls, concrete floors, art tools and personal effects strewn about in bohemian disarray. This isn’t the kind of artist space christopher Rauschenberg records in his series Studio Photography. documenting the studios of artists such as adrian chesser, Robert Frank, chuck close and his own father, Robert Rauschenberg, christopher Rauschenberg winds up documenting spaces that are surprisingly wellordered and antiseptic. The best print in the entire exhibition flies (literally) in the face of this trend toward Ocd decorum, however. it’s a close-up of two dead flies lying on an artwork in Susan Weil’s studio.

The mundanity of this image is unexpectedly poignant, reminding us how artists routinely commingle profound truths with the realities of everyday life. Through March 8.

Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

David Selleck: Recent Work

david Selleck calls his sculptures “mixed-media assemblage,” but “hodgepodge” or “claptrap” would be a more accurate description.

The artist uses painted wood and spectacularly awful combinations of second-hand objects in slapdash compositions that evoke animal and humanoid forms. There is no material too mundane for appropriation and inclusion: a shoehorn, wooden spoon, cleaning brushes, coat hangers, a rope. These objects stand in for body parts, including, in Voo Doo Charmer, an erect penis. These pieces are almost so bad, they’re good. But not quite. if you’ve ever been to an estate sale of somebody who was known affectionately as a “dabbler,” you have seen work that was (perhaps) even worse than this.

Through March 29. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 224-2634.

Group Show

among these works by artists Joshua Burd, Mackenzie Kuntz, Mr. Say, and Roxanne patruznick, Burd’s imagery of animals stands out as the most playful, if not always technically flawless. But come on, you have to give some props to an artist who explains his artistic rationale like Burd does. “animals, especially cats,” he deadpans, “hold all the same qualities as humans, but without all the schmuck.” Through March 25. The Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292.

Jason Langer: Possession

Look at Jason Langer’s black-andwhite photographs, and you’re apt to assume he was a historic pho-

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tographer back in the 1940s. The images glow with a dramatically film-noir sheen and manage to look simultaneously gritty and polished.

But Langer is contemporary; he just likes to work in a self-consciously retro style. he has a formidable technique, but unfortunately, his subject matter is all over the place: tasteful female nudes, a cobblestone alleyway, a subway tunnel, a carousel, a stripper, a tree-lined road. as a result, you don’t get any sense of Langer’s individual sensibility. The photos may as well be stock images for commercial clients: well-done, pretty, but interchangable. Through March 29. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.

Jeffrey Sarmiento: Constructions

Jeffrey Sarmiento’s intricate kilnformed glass pieces are not just literally “constructions,” they’re also deconstructions of cultural identity. a Filipino-american born in chicago and now living in the U.K., Sarmiento knows a thing or two about the ways in which context shapes our attitudes. in works like Muse and Muscles, he mimics the Ben-day dots of black-and-white newsprint with side-by-side portraits of a traditionally dressed woman and a preening bodybuilder, both archetypes of a certain kind of beauty. Through May 3. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

Jennifer Mercede: Complete Freedom

if you walk around portland and pay attention, you’ll encounter Jennifer Mercede’s paintings. Like fellow artists chris haberman and Tom cramer, she is a ubiquitous presence on murals and storefronts and inside gallery windows. But now, in her first show at what she calls “the infamous Mark Woolley Gallery,” she brings such a highly individual approach to each painting, it feels like you’re seeing her work for the first time. This is why she titled the show Complete Freedom. “i decided i didn’t want to have any limits or worries about making this a ‘cohesive body of work,’” she says. “i trusted what came out of me.” The strategy worked. The paintings are the opposite of formulaic; in fact, some of them are nearly unrecognizable as Mercede’s work For an artist who’s still growing, that’s a really good thing. Through April 12.

Mark Woolley Gallery, 700 SW 5th Ave., Suite 4110, 998-4152.

Lee Kelly: Pavilion

Octogenarian sculptor, painter and Northwest institution Lee Kelly debuts a new body of work in Pavilion. The show is inspired by his travels to Nepal and his fascination with the pan-cultural ideal and iconography of “the goddess.” in his paintings and steel sculptures, he

Morgan Walker’s The Mysteries is aptly titled, as it’s damned mysterious, if not confounding, to anyone who tries to figure out what the hell these paintings are about. Walker is not saying anything about his subject matter, nor is the gallery, except for a note in the press materials that asserts the work has “an elusiveness that sustains the mysterious goings-on.” Well, yes. in thick-textured oil paintings such as The Searchers, cro-Magnons carry bananas across a tropical landscape, directed onward by a darkskinned man in a sarong, as a willowy, lily-white woman in chinos and riding boots stands implacably stage-right as she peers at a nude, flower-wreathed woman who reclines in the foreground. in Bikini Beach, cro-Magnons hoist bikiniclad women into the air in homage to Nicolas poussin’s The Rape of the Sabine Women. We’re left wondering whether this is some sort of whimsyinflected critique of colonialism or racism, except that whimsy doesn’t have much place in any critique of those subjects. if the paintings were technically more proficient, we would be more inclined to care.

Through March 29. Augen Gallery, 716 NW Davis St., 546-5056.

Ryan Reggiani: Sculpture

New York city artist Ryan Reggiani presents one of the most materially and conceptually sophisticated exhibitions seen in the Northwest in at least four months. his sculpture, Untitled (Hanging), is made of steel bent into the contours of a curtain, for an inexplicable optical melding of the hard and the soft. Meanwhile, his metal-framed light-bulb sculptures have structural rigor, lowbrow curb appeal and wry humor. and that’s just the beginning. To see the breadth of Reggiani’s practice, you have to see the show in person.

Through March 29. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 444-7101.

Tamara English: The Worlds Are Glorious

Over the past decade, painter Tamara english has charted a course from sumptuous landscapes, rife with tangled vines and flowers, to mystical semi-abstract iconography to an inspired commingling of the two. in her first showing with Nisus Gallery, she displays her gift for naturalistic color and intuitive composition. Works such as Fortitude feature a mysterious symmetrical motif rising like a fountain above a forest floor. in Shimmering, english exploits the rhythm of vertical drips that pour down like streaking rain.

Through April 27. Nisus Gallery, 8371 N Interstate Ave., No. 1, 806-1427.

Unveiled: Nudes

in a city with scads of strip clubs and an annual nude bike ride, you’d think a gallery show of nude drawings, paintings and photographs would simply gild the lily (or the fig leaf). But Unveiled: Nudes manages to extract some new insights out of the age-old trope of the nude female. chronologically organized, the show begins with a 1920 painting by John Sloan, continues through Matisse and Gaston Lachaise, and finally winds up in the present day, with contemporary artists such as Malia Jensen and Joseph park. Jensen’s most challenging works are photographs of a nude woman draped over tree branches, limp as a corpse, while park’s Hallucination C looks like the figure in piet Mondrian’s classic painting Evolution has been timewarped into the psychedelic ’60s.

Through March 8. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

For more Visual arts listings, visit

BOOKS

March 12–18

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

political comedian W. Kamau Bell (Totally Biased) and gypsy-folk band Run on Sentence. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7:30 pm. $20-$25.

SUNDAY, MARCH 16 Floyd Skloot

THURSDAY, MARCH 13 Comics Underground

With an overhead projector, a microphone and some music and sound effects, comic-book artists and writers will bring their stories to life live onstage. Stepping up to the projector will be Zack Soto (The Secret Voice), Douglas Wolk (Judge Dredd: Mega-City Two) and Jeannette Langmead (I Made This to Impress a Boy). The Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 2287605. 8 pm. $3-$5. 21+.

Haroon Ullah

A product of eight years of field research, Haroon Ullah’s new book, The Bargain From the Bazaar: A Family’s Day of Reckoning in Lahore, documents the middle-class struggle in a turbulent Pakistan. Following the Reza Family in Lahore’s Anarkali Bazaar, the largest open market in South Asia, Ullah offers an intimate perspective of an ordinary family trying to build their lives in a country that is falling apart. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

LP3 Release Party

Because sometimes poetry can benefit from a few visuals, and because random visuals do well with captioning, the folks of lit journal Lexicon Polaroid publish poems with visual interpretations.

For the first time, in LP3, poems will be accompanied by video stills created by local filmmakers.

Reading for the release party will be contributors Kelly Schirmann, Parker Tettleton, Noland Chaliha, Natalie Briggs and Caleb Walter Reed. Reading Frenzy, 3628 N Mississippi Ave., 274-1449. 6:30 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, MARCH 15 Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson

When we think about the wild creatures we fear most, are we only projecting our own inclination toward violence? So argues author Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson, who has written numerous books on the topic of animal emotions. His newest, Beasts: What Animals Can Teach Us About Human Nature, explores our notions of perceived violence in the animal kingdom.

Except housecats: they’re out for blood. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 4:00 pm. Free..

Live Wire

Celebrating 10 years of delicious variety and on-air antics, locally produced radio show Live Wire will host its second of a threeshow run. Joining the lineup for the mid-month show will be Portlandia star and adopted mascot Fred Armisen, award-winning author Sherman Alexie (The Absolutely True Diary of a PartTime Indian, Blasphemy), socio-

Portland-based author Floyd Skloot has written 18 books and been published in nearly every distinguished publication in the country, as well as serving as a regular contributor to The New York Times Book Review and several others. How he’s had time to release not one but two new books this spring is beyond us.

Nevertheless, Skloot shares from Revertigo: An Off-Kilter Memoir, about his often-debilitating vertigo, and his seventh collection of poetry, Close Reading. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein Continuing to milk the Portland cow for all the sweet, lucrative milk she can deliver, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein of Portlandia will be signing copies of their new book, The Portlandia Activity Book. Poking gentle fun at all the quirky traits that make Portland a national trend, the book includes activities such as terrarium foraging and crowdfunding your baby. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. Noon. Free.

MONDAY, MARCH 17 Oregon Book Awards

Forget about what you’re wearing; here, it’s all about what you’re reading. The 27th annual Oregon Book Awards will celebrate the finest in local literature, from poetry to young adult. Who will snag the coveted Ken Kesey Award for Fiction? Will there be beautifully written acceptance speeches? Will someone get busted with a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in their purse? Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 4453700. 7:30 pm. $10.

Smallpressapalooza

Smallpressapalooza will feature readings from a large lineup of small-press authors who are themselves normal-sized. Sharing their work will be Ross Robbins, Walidah Imarisha, Dena Rash Guzman, Samuel Snoek-Brown, Lisa Ciccarello, Kyle Minor, Matty Byloos, Jeff Alessandrelli, Emily Kendal Frey, Noah Cicero, Melody Owen and Virginia Paine. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 6 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, MARCH 18 Willy Vlautin

With an Oregon Book Award for Lean on Pete and a fourth novel already receiving high praise, Portland author and musician Willy Vlautin proves that regardless of what your parents told you, both careers can be equally fruitful. Vlautin, reading from The Free, will be joined by fellow Portland author Peter Brown Hoffmeister, whose new book, Graphic in the Valley, reimagines the tale of Samson and Delilah in Yosemite. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway St., 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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march 12–18 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

COuRTESY OF FOX SEARCHLIGHT

MOVIES

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

12 Years a Slave

A Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave

is agonizing but not lurid, compassionate but not melodramatic, patient but still thrilling. McQueen exposes the full extent of slavery’s physical cruelty, from the endless hours of cotton-picking to the capricious acts of violence, as well as the system’s psychological toll. Despite its handful of vicious instances of violence, 12 Years has none of the garish extravagance of last year’s Django Unchained, in which Quentin Tarantino perverted a historical atrocity into a hip-hop-scored spaghetti Western. Alongside the film’s occasional brutality, he stages takes of astounding beauty and surprising tranquility. While its instructive value is undeniable, this is also a rousing portrait, a morally complicated tale and a masterful work of art. r. REBECCA JACOBSON. Oak Grove, Sandy.

20 Feet From Stardom

A- Life is unfair, and the music indus-

try is worse. If there were a rubric to figure out what makes one performer a household name and the other just another name in the liner notes, the history of pop would read much differently. Turning the spotlight on several career backup singers, Morgan Neville’s 20 Feet From Stardom shows, with great warmth and color, what it might sound like. These are voices and personalities every bit as big as Tina’s and Aretha’s but that, through the vagaries of fate more than anything else, never made what Bruce Springsteen calls “the long walk” from the back of the stage to the front.

Most are resigned to their roles in the musical ecosystem, content to have sacrificed their own aspirations for the sake of elevating the art itself.

Whether that’s noble or a con, Neville never judges. He just lets them sing.

And, in a more perfect universe, that would be enough. MATTHEW SINGER. Laurelhurst Theater.

300: Rise of an Empire

D+ Say what you will about Zack Snyder’s ultraviolent, exceedingly homoerotic 2006 film 300, but the comic-book adaptation delivered exactly what it promised: It was big and dumb, with visual verve of unprecedented elegance (plus a lot of shouting). Eight years later, nobody was exactly clamoring for a sequel to a film that saw its main characters beheaded, yet here we have Noam Murro’s 300: Rise of an Empire, a film that expands the battlefield to the ocean but comes off as a dull, lifeless Xerox of the original. Eschewing most of the story in favor of nonstop carnage (which is probably the right call), Rise of an Empire pits Greek general Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) against the Persian navy, led by the bloodthirsty and libidinous Artemisia (Eva Green). What unfolds is a cacophony of severed limbs, exploding bodies and CGI boats that look like they were pulled from an outdated 300 video game. The special effects are the biggest stars of the series, and yet nothing here manages to transport the viewer into the brutal wonderland Snyder concocted. Computeranimated blood spurts look like Play-Doh, the crashing waves of the ocean like something rendered for the GameCube. Eva Green, snarling and heaving, lends life to her scenes, but it’s like she’s in a different movie. For a film about half-naked dudes butchering each other for 100 minutes, Rise of an Empire is torturously lifeless. r. AP KRYZA. Bagdad, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Sandy, St. Johns.

American Hustle

A David O. Russell’s American

Hustle—loosely based on the Abscam federal bribery scandal of the 1970s—is a balls-to-the-wall, unbridled love affair with homegrown bullshit and piss-taking. The film’s establishing shot is brilliant in this regard: a humorously long

46

sequence of Christian Bale’s potbellied con man, Irving Rosenfeld, gluing a toupee to his head. When meticulously permed federal agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) makes a move on Rosenfeld’s girl almost immediately thereafter, it’s an insult. When he musses his rug, it’s an unforgivable violation. It’s a wild pretzel of a plot: Rosenfeld and mistress Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams) have been caught by DiMaso in an undercover sting and are forced to run confidence rackets for the feds in order to nab other grifters. Halfway through the film, it’s unclear who’s conning whom, but it’s clear everybody’s conning themselves. This is the high wire that makes American Hustle so exhilarating, with the quick turns of a David Mamet or Howard Hawks fast-talkie. Despite its ’70s high-criminal subject matter, it is far closer to His Girl Friday than to Goodfellas. Really, it’s the sort of flick we’ve rarely seen since the ’40s: a farce with a heart. r. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. CineMagic, Mill Plain, Hollywood Theatre, Lloyd Center.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

B- It’s been nearly a decade since Ron

Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team graced the silver screen, but you’d be forgiven for thinking they never left. After a year of anticipation, we’d be forgiven for being sick of the hype. But oh, does Anchorman 2 contain some serious belly laughs, and the instant Ron (Will Ferrell) hits the screen reading nonsense news and exclaiming, “By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John,” goodwill returns.

Where the first Anchorman marveled at the foreign-seeming world of ’70s network news, director Adam McKay’s sequel takes its cue from his buddy-cop flick The Other Guys, and he peppers the screwball, surrealist comedy with an actual message, taking aim at the decline of real journalism. This time, Burgundy and his team try to conquer the 24-hour cable-news cycle of the ’80s with alarmist weather warnings and baseless live reporting on car chases.

They’re basically ushering in a protoFox News—there’s even a scheming Aussie owner—and it works like gangbusters because, unlike the original, most of the laughs are derived from what we see every day. Anchorman 2 does contain some misses, but it’s good to have Ron Burgundy back, even if he kind of overstays his welcome. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Art of the Steal

D Guy Ritchie completely wrecked

the heist movie—it’s like the final revenge of the British on the French.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is pretty much the Topkapi of its generation, kinetic and fun and ruinous to what came after. After Topkapi, everybody needed a mute Indonesian acrobat; after Lock, everybody needs MTV quick cuts, a downhill-rolling snowball of a plot and a pack of fasttalking morons. The Art of the Steal obliges, without the encumbrance of Ritchie’s skill and wit. Just know that there’s one last job they all have to pull, some motorcycle chases, something about art theft and forgery, and then the slow slide of the dual wax candles that Matt Dillon and Kurt Russell’s faces have become.

(Russell plays a noble failure, a stunt rider who specializes in crashing; Dillon’s a sociopath with no sense of humor.) The movie’s moments of suspense are closer to discomfort—a bit like 10 minutes in a restroom line— while the inevitable Gordian knot of double dealing and revenge dissolves to loose snatches of shoestring in a final sequence that fails even to insult the viewer. Terence Stamp, as a conturned-Interpol agent, provides the only moments of patience on offer, and the air he brings into a scene with him is sweet relief. It’s a display of actual confidence in a movie that is otherwise nothing but unconvincing

Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

HOLDING OuT FOR a zERO: Ralph Fiennes (left) and Tony Revolori.

THE HUNGARY GAMES THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL SITS ATOP WES ANDERSON’S LOST WORLD. BY aa r on mesh amesh@wweek.com

The old, snide rejoinder to an over-decorated show is that “you leave humming the sets,” but Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel may be the first movie where you come out tasting them. With apologies to Willy Wonka and his wallpaper-licking visitors, the titular Alpine resort is the most ediblelooking lodge in cinema: a multitiered, pink-frosted castle designed to endure as an ambrosial memory.

But the thing about Proustian cakes is that you never get to have them and eat them, too—so the Grand Budapest exists only in the past. It belongs to a lost world of funiculars and crisscrossing cable cars and a ski jump that lands on a bobsled track.

(Rendered with stop-motion animation, the impossible geography reminded me of those early Coney Island roller coasters that supposedly grew more popular the more riders’ necks they snapped.) The place, an imaginary country called the Republic of Zubrowka, is framed by three flashbacks, each on a different-sized screen. It’s already gone before we see it. This image—snowy Mitteleuropa as an ornate playland offering one last pell-mell ride as it melts away—suggests The Third Man’s Ferris wheel sequence with a dash of Rube Goldberg, or Nabokov scripting a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Mania and bereavement, flimflam and dignity: These are all gift-wrapped in the hero, M. Gustave, the dapper concierge running the Grand Budapest front desk and back halls. He’s played by Ralph Fiennes with such flowery cosmopolitanism that you can almost see the cloud of cologne drifting behind him as he scurries to his next boudoir appointment with a rich dowager. One of the movie’s narrators—I mentioned the several flashbacks, right?—describes M. Gustave as protecting a world that vanished before he arrived. (It’s no accident that while the movie occurs in a pretend location, its dateline is specifically the 1930s, at the edge of war.) He certainly sees himself as a kind of Knight Templar, reciting poetry and defending his refugee ward, Zero (Tony Revolori), from the secret police. “You see,” he crows after one near escape, “there are still faint

glimmers of civilization in this barbaric slaughterhouse we know as humanity.” He winds himself up for a longer speech, then reconsiders: “Oh, fuck it.”

I’d love to recite my own ode to The Grand Budapest Hotel, because it’s the most politically aware story Anderson has told. Its story—a silly caper involving a stolen painting, several corpses, a prison break and pastries—brushes against the deepest horrors of the 20th century, and ends by acknowledging irrevocable damage.

Yet I can’t shake the feeling that something’s missing. It’s become critical shorthand to describe Wes Anderson’s movies as increasingly Andersonian, but The Grand Budapest Hotel actually confirms the split of the director’s work into three distinct periods. His earliest pictures (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums) feature perpetual teenagers play-acting at the ideal lives they can’t quite maintain. His second act (The Life Aquatic, The Darjeeling Limited) follows spoiled men globe-trekking for purpose. And then, starting with Fantastic Mr. Fox, come the fairy tales. Fox, Moonrise Kingdom and now Budapest all include the same elements: stop-motion, maps, tunnels, and heroes marching at right angles and dangling from great heights.

MANIA AND BEREAVEMENT, FLIMFLAM AND DIGNITY. What they don’t have is characters who talk to each other. Nobody in this latest Anderson chapter admits their feelings in an unguarded way. And with the exception of the fantastically realized M. Gustave, they don’t reveal their essence by actions.

Instead, the packed cast—a Bill Murray-led reunion of the best repertory since Preston Sturges’ team— make cameos and disappear.

So the feeling of loss that runs through an otherwise buoyant picture is twofold: It’s pining for the world Anderson mourns, and longing for people never met.

Who are these beautiful visitors in The Grand Budapest Hotel? They’re meant to be ghosts, but they shouldn’t be strangers. We stick out our tongues to catch the shimmering snowflakes, and taste only air.

B+ The Grand Budapest Hotel is rated R. It opens Friday at Cinema 21.

MARCH 12–18 swagger—a Geo Metro at 90 miles an hour. Sure it’s fast, but it rattles so much it’s about as fun as hanging out in a clothes dryer. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.

R. MATTHEW SINGER. Academy Theater, Edgefield, Laurelhurst Theater.

August: Osage County

B Frozen arrives as an uncomplicated triumph of traditionalism, for better or worse. In this musical-theater retelling of classic Hans Christian Andersen tale The Snow Queen, widescreen 3-D visuals sculpt an endlessly inventive setting of ice palaces and snowcapped peaks, the original songs soar and tickle as needed, and snowman sidekick Olaf giddily beats back the encroaching melodrama. PG. JAY HORTON. Indoor Twin, Oak Grove, Sandy.

Streep is a pill-popping Tyrannosaurus rex in a black bouffant wig.

Julia Roberts is a weather-parched velociraptor in mom jeans. And when these mother-daughter dinosaurs go at it, expect things to break: mostly dinner plates, but also hearts, eardrums and any shred of goodwill that survives in this seriously twisted family. Alongside all that destruction, don’t be surprised if your patience breaks as well. This screen adaptation of Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer Prize-winning play operates at such a consistently high pitch that it numbs rather than blisters.

The film finds a family reunited in northern Oklahoma following the death of Beverly Weston, a hard-drinking poet. His wife, Violet (Streep), suffers from mouth cancer, but that doesn’t stop her from spewing endless streams of bilious invective at her three daughters.

Letts’ play won raves for its ability to imbue soap opera-style revelations with fiery humor, but John Wells’ directorial hand is so weak that the film just plays as a succession of histrionic showdowns. Streep exceeds even her own stratospheric standards for scenery-chewing, purloining any sense of surprise from her character. As the oldest daughter, Roberts fares somewhat better, with a few moments so arrestingly aggressive you might forgive what’s come before. But then another dinner plate shatters and, with it, any sense of charity.

R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater.

Bicycle Film Festival

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Portland already has its own homegrown bike film festival—that would be Filmed by Bike, which takes place next month— but it’s also getting a visit from this decade-old, internationally touring fest. There are two programs of short films, one called “cinematic shorts” at 6:30 pm and then “urban bike shorts” (which sounds like classy Spandex you’d actually want to wear around town) at 8:30 pm.

Clinton Street Theater. 6:30 and 8:30 pm Saturday, March 15.

Gloria

A Two phrases that should prob-

ably be retired from the English language—“slice of life” and “woman of a certain age”—have both been applied to Gloria, the new film from Chilean director Sebastian Lelio.

Neither does justice to this nuanced portrait of a woman who, in her late 50s, goes about the hard work of finding happiness where she can. Nothing about Gloria (Paulina García) is remarkable. She isn’t beautiful or brilliant or quirky. Her office job is dreary and unsatisfying, as are her interactions with her two children, who treat her visits as sweet but exasperating obligations that can’t end soon enough.

When the weekend arrives, she dresses up and heads to a Santiago bar, where she dances, sometimes by herself and sometimes in the arms of an anonymous silver fox, to sappy Chilean love songs.

Everything changes (or does it?) when she meets Rodolfo, a former naval officer and gastric bypass surgery survivor, who sweeps her off her feet. Literally: He owns an amusement park and on their third

date treats her to a joyous session of bungee jumping. Lelio’s generous pacing allows Gloria’s story to unfold with grace, and García invests the character with a winning vulnerability. This is realism at its most honest and moving, which also means it might not be for everyone.

Yet the film is a triumph of quiet beauty and subtle storytelling that, if you like that sort of thing, will haunt you for days. R. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Living Room Theaters.

Need For Speed XD-3D (PG-13) 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:50AM 1:10PM 2:35PM 3:55PM 5:15PM 6:45PM 7:55PM 9:30PM 10:40PM Need For Speed (PG-13) 11:00AM 4:55PM 10:45PM Wind Rises-Dubbed, The (PG-13) 1:05PM 4:10PM 7:20PM 10:25PM Need For Speed 3D (PG-13) 2:00PM 7:50PM Son Of God (PG-13) 12:30PM 3:45PM 7:00PM 10:15PM Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:05PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Robocop (2014) (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:05PM 4:55PM 7:45PM 10:35PM Pompeii 3D (PG-13) 7:10PM 9:50PM Ride Along (PG-13) 11:40AM 2:15PM 4:50PM 7:25PM 10:10PM

Gravity

A- Alfonso Cuarón’s Gravity begins

with a staggeringly brilliant and mesmerizingly staged 17-minute single take, which manages to encapsulate every single feeling the rest of the film will instill in its viewers: tranquility, warmth, peace, trepidation, nervousness, endearment, wonder and, most of all, fear. With Gravity, Cuarón and his screenwriter son, Jonas, take on the most primal fear possible, that of being lost in an abyss of nothingness. The film features only two actors, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Their simple space-station repair mission turns into a nightmare as debris from a destroyed satellite tears their shuttle to shreds and they’re left hopelessly adrift with a dwindling supply of oxygen.

We, like the characters, are stuck, watching the events as they unfold, mostly in real time, and gasping for our collective breath as the oxygen meter slowly runs out. It is perhaps the most stressful experience to be had in a movie theater this year, and as such it’s nearly perfect. Bullock exudes terror and strength in her difficult role. Clooney, here playing a supporting piece of space debris, becomes the film’s sense of calm and functions as much-needed

Need For Speed 3D (PG-13) 11:00AM 12:50PM 4:00PM 5:20PM 7:05PM 10:10PM Need For Speed (PG-13) 2:10PM 8:30PM Wind Rises-Dubbed, The (PG-13) 12:30PM 7:00PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:00AM 2:00PM 4:30PM 7:00PM 9:30PM Son Of God (PG-13) 12:15PM 3:30PM 7:00PM 10:10PM Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club (PG-13) 11:25AM 2:10PM 4:55PM 7:40PM 10:25PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:15AM 1:55PM 4:40PM 7:20PM 10:00PM Robocop (2014) (PG-13) 7:40PM 10:30PM Monuments Men (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:15PM

Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 11:55AM 2:40PM 5:10PM 7:55PM 10:35PM 300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:10AM 1:50PM 4:35PM 7:20PM 10:05PM American Hustle (R) 7:35PM 10:45PM 300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 11:45AM 12:40PM 1:20PM 2:30PM 3:20PM 4:05PM 5:15PM 6:00PM 6:40PM 8:00PM 8:40PM 9:20PM 10:40PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:15AM 1:55PM 4:30PM 7:05PM 9:45PM 3 Days To Kill (PG-13) 11:05AM 1:55PM 4:45PM 7:35PM 10:30PM LEGO (PG) 11:10AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:15PM 9:55PM Monuments Men (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:25PM LEGO 3D (PG) 11:35AM 2:20PM 5:05PM Frozen (2013) 3D (PG) 1:45PM Frozen (2013) (PG) 11:05AM 4:25PM

300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:20AM 2:00PM 4:40PM 7:20PM 9:55PM American Hustle (R) 3:45PM 10:00PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 12:30PM 3:00PM 5:30PM 8:00PM 10:30PM 300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 12:00PM 12:40PM 1:20PM 2:40PM 3:20PM 4:00PM 5:20PM 6:00PM 6:40PM 8:00PM 8:40PM 9:15PM 10:35PM LEGO 3D (PG) 12:00PM 2:30PM 5:10PM LEGO (PG) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:05PM 9:45PM Frozen (2013) 3D (PG) 2:05PM 10:10PM Frozen (2013) (PG) 11:10AM 4:35PM 7:25PM

Pre-shows Thursday night for Need for Speed and Tyler Perry’s Single Mothers Club

Need For Speed (PG-13) 4:50PM 10:30PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:05PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:15PM Wolf Of Wall Street, The (R) 12:45PM 4:45PM Need For Speed 3D (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:55PM 7:40PM Philomena (PG-13) 11:25AM 1:55PM 4:25PM 7:05PM 9:35PM Son Of God (PG-13) 12:00PM 3:30PM 6:50PM 10:10PM Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club (PG-13) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:25PM Ride Along (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:40PM 7:25PM 10:10PM Robocop (2014) (PG-13) 11:05AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM

CONT. on page 48

300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:30AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:45PM 10:30PM August: Osage County (R) 11:10AM 2:10PM 5:10PM 8:10PM Muppets Most Wanted (PG) 7:00PM 10:00PM 300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 12:30PM 1:30PM 3:15PM 4:15PM 7:00PM 9:45PM Divergent (PG-13) 8:00PM 9:00PM 10:00PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:40AM 2:20PM 4:55PM 7:40PM 10:20PM LEGO 3D (PG) 12:25PM 3:15PM 5:55PM 8:30PM LEGO (PG) 11:00AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 7:15PM

Movie times subject to change, call theaters for times Showtimes valid Friday to Thursday

REVIEW O CC U PA N T F I L M S

C In August: Osage County, Meryl

Frozen

MOVIES

Dallas Buyers Club

A The first time Matthew

McConaughey appears onscreen in Dallas Buyers Club, the reflex is to gasp. That carved-from-amber beach bod has been whittled down to a toothpick. He’s gaunt, almost insectoid, with a head too big for his neck and skin stretched like plastic wrap around his eyes and Adam’s apple. It’s a transformation mirroring that of McConaughey’s career over the past year: The rom-com lothario has withered away. In his place arrives a performer at his peak, playing an AIDS activist the movies have never seen before: a shit-kicking, homophobic redneck.

That redneck actually existed, too.

In 1985, Ron Woodroof, a Dallas electrician, bull rider and pussychasing, coke-snorting degenerate, became one of the rare straight men in the early years of the AIDS epidemic to contract HIV. Frustrated by the grinding inertia of Big Pharma, Woodroof went to Mexico, where, with a cocktail of natural supplements and non-FDA-approved meds, he was nursed back to health. Figuring there was a great racket in AIDS drugs that actually worked, he returned to Texas and opened a “buyers club.” To the credit of writers Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack and director JeanMarc Vallée, Dallas Buyers Club has no weepy epiphanies, no soliloquies about newfound understanding. Woodroof may have been an asshole, but he was an asshole whose instinct for self-preservation eventually helped extend the lives of millions of better people. And, in the face of a plague, that’s worth more than one jerk’s enlightenment.

BITTER PILL: When Better Living Through Chemistry first started popping up on film news sites back in 2010, it was billed as a noirish thriller starring Jeremy Renner, Jennifer Garner and Judi Dench. It was described as the story of a small-town pharmacist who embarks on an affair with a prescription drug-addicted trophy wife and finds himself invigorated—until the two begin plotting to kill her husband. Somehow, four years later, it has become a quirky indie comedy starring Sam Rockwell, Olivia Wilde and Jane Fonda.

The plot is still technically the same—though the murder is more of a side note than the crux of the film—but there is very little thrilling about it. Instead, it’s a Manic Pixie Dream Girl story for people in their 40s. So rather than a free-spirited ingénue riding a bicycle, the woman who helps Rockwell’s henpecked pharmacist learn to live again is a pill-popping gold digger in a sports car. Think The Last Kiss meets Breaking Bad. There are some laughs to be found in Rockwell’s descent from obsequious bore to reckless horn dog, mixing cocktails of his own pharmaceuticals to fuel marathon sex sessions. But no amount of psychotropic drugs can alter what is ultimately a predictable plot played out with tired, sexist stereotypes. I still want to see the version where a grizzled Jeremy Renner plots a murder while snorting Percocet. RUTH BROWN. C+ SEE IT: Better Living Through Chemistry opens Friday at Living Room Theaters.

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MOVIES

MARCH 12–18

C O U R T E S Y O F F I R S T R U N F E AT U R E S

even deadlier stakes. As with the first film, Catching Fire goes slightly flat once the actual Hunger Games commence. But in the lead-up to the most violent episode of Survivor imaginable, the director crafts a dense dystopia full of political allegory, media satire and other elements that most YA films consider their core audiences too dumb to handle. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy Theater, Indoor Twin, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood.

Inside Llewyn Davis

B+ Lovable losers abound in the

MAIDENTRIP comic relief. It’s impossible to even consider relaxing as the characters drift from one scrape with death to the next over the course of 90 unrelenting minutes. But it’s in the brief lulls that Cuarón manages his most amazing feats, allowing us to stop and stare in awe at the beauty of the images onscreen. PG13. AP KRYZA. Hollywood Theatre, Empirical Theatre at OMSI, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd Center.

The Great Beauty

A The Great Beauty begins with a

cannonball, followed closely by a heart attack, and concludes with a 104-year-old toothless nun crawling on her knees up the steps of a church. Paolo Sorrentino’s luxuriously sprawling film is both enchanted and repulsed by the decadence it depicts, a tension that makes for one of the richest cinematic experiences of the year.

At the center is Jep Gambardella (a wondrous Toni Servillo), a 65-year-old hedonist who wrote an acclaimed novel as a young man and now spends his days (and nights) living large in Rome. Toward the beginning of the film, he learns that his first love has died, which jolts him down a path of grief, nostalgia and, because he’s at times a pompous cad, pride. That journey is a sensuous feast, scored by haunting choral music and techno mariachi, and marked by appearances by washed-up socialites, a blue-haired dwarf, vanishing giraffes and dreadful performance artists, including a woman who runs naked and blindfolded into a stone wall. The loosely connected vignettes can meander, but taken together they compose a fascinating portrait of Berlusconi’s Italy, one that is too consumed by orgiastic terrace parties and neverending conga lines to realize how stagnant it’s become. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters, Kiggins Theatre.

Her

B+ And so there’s this computer.

It’s an artificially hyperintelligent operating system that’s half personal secretary, half therapist. It speaks in a naturalistic feminine rasp. It seems to be thinking. It seems to know you. You fall in love with her. She falls in love with you.

Then she develops the capacity for jealousy. Eventually, you’re arguing about sex. She starts saying things like, “I’m becoming much more than they programmed.” Twenty years ago, this scenario would’ve played as a dystopian nightmare. But in the era of Catfish, where “dating” is an increasingly abstract concept, the premise of Spike Jonze’s Her can serve as the basis for an honest-to-goodness relationship drama. Her, the first film Jonze has written himself, isn’t another Charlie Kaufman mind puzzle, but its emotions are no easier to untangle, nor to categorize. Credit Jonze for never mocking Joaquin Phoenix’s lonely former L.A. Weekly stafferturned-emotional copywriter, even though he puts him in a ’stacheand-glasses combo out of a pedophile Halloween costume and gives him the exceptionally dweeby name

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Theodore Twombley. Thanks to Phoenix’s warm, subtly brave performance, his character doesn’t seem crazy. Scarlett Johansson voices the OS, and her husky rasp sounds lived-in and imperfect. In other words, it’s distinctly human. Her is, perhaps, a movie that is easier to think about than to watch: It’s overlong, and prone to greeting-card proverbs. But its central thought is one that will only grow more significant as the world becomes a bigger, more alienating place: Is any feeling real, or are we just programmed that way? R. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

B+ When last we saw Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) and his band of dwarves, they were headed to confront a dragon. But along the way, they also took an awful lot of time to do the dishes and sing songs seemingly stolen from Led Zeppelin. That was a central complaint about Peter Jackson’s first entry in his Hobbit trilogy, and it made fans wonder whether swelling J.R.R. Tolkien’s shortest book into three films would result in stagnation. That fear goes flying out the window like a decapitated orc head in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, which justifies its nearly three-hour runtime not by cramming in tons of story, but by allowing the action pieces to play out with the lunacy of an ultraviolent Looney Tunes short. And so we have our heroes floating downriver in barrels as a battle between elves and orcs rages overhead, and a freaky showdown with an army of spiders. It all leads up to a confrontation with the titular dragon, who instantly becomes the most terrifyingly beautiful winged beast ever put to film. It wouldn’t be a Tolkien film without the self-seriousness, but The Desolation of Smaug never loses its sense of fun. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Empirical Theater at OMSI, Kennedy School, Mt. Hood.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

B While other young-adult novel adaptations preoccupy themselves with knockoff magic and chaste vampires, The Hunger Games series instead caters to the “adult” part of the equation. Taking what initially seemed like a watered-down version of Battle Royale, it has created a sprawling and very grown-up world for young audiences. With Catching Fire, director Francis Lawrence further expands this post-apocalyptic universe where children are forced to slay one another in an annual gladiatorial event designed to tamp down discontent. This film finds heroine Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and her milquetoast cochamp Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) on a “victory tour” through a country where the rich bathe in luxury while the poor undergo flogging and execution in what resembles WWII-era Russia. Fearing Katniss will become a symbol for a simmering rebellion, the president (Donald Sutherland) forces her back into the arena with

films of Joel and Ethan Coen. Even the most ardent admirer of Raising Arizona’s H.I. McDunnough or The Big Lebowski’s the Dude would be hard-pressed to call either man conventionally successful. But that’s kind of the point: The old adage about loving someone for his flaws holds true in these cases. Keep that in mind when you meet the title character of Inside Llewyn Davis. A down-on-his-luck folk musician in 1961 New York City, Llewyn (Oscar Isaac) crashes on friends’ squeaky couches, gigs at the Gaslight Cafe and mills about while waiting for his big break. It isn’t much of a spoiler to say he’ll be waiting awhile.

Witnessing all this unfold is, in a word, lovely. That may seem an odd way to describe such a bittersweet portrait of failure and disenchantment, but the Coens are experts in drawing out the bitter and the sweet in nearly equal measure.

Inside Llewyn Davis continues in the sincere, unironic register established (surprisingly, to some) by their 2010 remake of True Grit, but that’s not to say it lacks their signature black humor. Ultimately, Inside Llewyn Davis is a one-man act, and we follow Llewyn almost painfully closely as he tries to improve his lot, or at least make sense of it.

When he eventually sees the words “What are you doing?” written on a restroom stall, he seems genuinely taken aback. As the viewer, getting to share in Llewyn’s struggle to answer that question in any meaningful way is more than worth the accompanying sorrow. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Academy Theater, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

C+ Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit exists in a strange world of hybridized espionage clichés. At its core, it stays loyal to the roots of Tom Clancy’s enduringly popular title character, pitting a younger version of Ryan against Russians who exist in a sort of Cold War vacuum and hate America as much as they hate the letter W. But this is a post9/11 Jack Ryan as well, so those very same Russians also operate a sleeper terrorist cell bent on blowing up Manhattan with homemade bombs. The new Jack Ryan is a reboot and an origin story, wherein a college-age Jack (Chris Pine, the go-to guy for college-age versions of iconic heroes) heeds the call of duty when the Twin Towers go down. He first serves as a Marine and then becomes a brilliant analyst enlisted by the CIA to infiltrate Wall Street to discover who might be funding terror. Because this is a post-Bourne film, there’s some neck-punching paired with fights in bathrooms, motorcycle chases and aggressive Googling, with our hero pensively staring at a computer while his fingers fly. Pulling double duty as the film’s director and its slinky villain, a slumming Kenneth Branagh proves he can be more fun than his PBS pedigree lets on, yet Jack Ryan remains a pretty bland affair that’s cobbled together from bits and pieces of other, better films.

PG-13. AP KRYZA. St. Johns.

The Lego Movie

B+ In the Toy Story series, some

of the best scenes take place in a child’s imagination. They’re tremendous action sequences, revealed to exist only in the mind of a child playing with toys. The Lego Movie stretches that idea to feature length, and the results are pretty

march 12–18

Maidentrip

B+ [ONE WEEK ONLY] Jillian

Schlesinger’s documentary follows a Dutch 14-year-old named Laura Dekker as she ventures around the globe solo on Guppy, her 40-foot sailboat. Laura knows the ins and outs of her boat, how to cook and care for herself and, most importantly, how to get where she’s going. Laura’s shaky footage of herself is cut with shots of the calm open sea, the white sandy beaches of French Polynesia, monkeys in the Galápagos and rough waters near Australia. Her independence and sense of adventure are astonishing, and what she manages to accomplish in 520 days is more than most of us do in a lifetime. SAVANNAH WASSERMAN. Clinton Street Theater.

Making and Unmaking TV

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY] Cinema Project and the Portland Institute for Contemporary Art team up to explore the art of the TV interview, presenting two nights of experimental videos produced by politically minded filmmakers in the ’80s and ’90s. On Monday, catch 1990’s Interviews With Interviewers...

About Interviewing, in which Skip Blumberg turns the camera on some folks—including Barbara Walters, Mike Wallace and Studs Terkel—who are normally the ones doing the interviewing. On Tuesday, there will be excerpts from Tony Conrad and Cathy Steffan’s Studio of the Streets, a weekly publicaccess TV series that ran in the ’90s.

PICA, 415 SW 10th Ave., cinemaproject. org. 7:30 pm Monday-Tuesday, March 17-18. $8 suggested.

The Monuments Men

C+ The story of The Monuments Men is inspiring. During World War II, a squadron of older art scholars was dispatched to Europe in an effort to protect art and other precious cultural artifacts from being destroyed by bombs, stolen by the Nazis or swiped by private collectors. It sounds like incredible fodder for a film, especially with George Clooney in front of and behind the camera, and a dream cast that includes Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Bill Murray and Jean Dujardin. Alas, what could have been a weird cross between Inglourious Basterds and Ocean’s Eleven turns out to be a bit of a slog.

A beautiful slog, sure, with its glorious images of European architecture, painting and sculpture, but a slog nonetheless. Much of the dullness comes from an episodic story line that requires these great performers to spend most of the film apart, contemplating in voice-over whether art is worth the ultimate sacrifice and pontificating about the righteousness of their cause.

The performances are great and the views are stunning, but The Monuments Men still comes off more as a sermon than an entertaining piece of art unto itself. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Mill Plain, Forest, Oak Grove, Sandy.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Two Rocky & Bullwinkle characters—a

hyperintelligent beagle and a 7-yearold boy—take some trips in a time machine. PG. Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Sandy.

Nebraska

C Alexander Payne has built his brilliant career on examinations of pathetic characters—and I mean that literally, not pejoratively. In the black-and-white Nebraska, a combination Valentine and fuck-you to his home state, he continues this project, but to dishearteningly flat results. You can predict the emotional arc based on the premise alone: David (Will Forte) decides to accompany his near-senile father, Woody (Bruce Dern), with whom he has a fractious relationship, on a road trip from Montana to Nebraska to claim the million-dollar magazine sweepstakes prize Woody believes he’s won. Payne’s typically trenchant observations on humanity’s soft underbelly feel broad, perhaps due to his non-involvement in the script, a first. Instead, the film rests on lazy humor (get your overweight, mouth-breathing Midwesterners here!), forced provocations (crotch-flashing at a cemetery!) and ingratiating moments of father-son bonding (David and Woody recover lost dentures near the train tracks!). After unsparing takedowns of self-delusion in Citizen Ruth and Election, more forgiving assessments in About Schmidt and Sideways and the line-walking of The Descendants, it’s disappointing to see Payne succumb to sentimentality untempered by insight or depth. r.

KRISTI MITSUDA. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater.

Need for Speed

C When a car-chase flick opens with

its main characters watching the Steve McQueen classic Bullitt, it had better deliver the goods. Luckily, Need for Speed makes good on its promise of high-octane spectacle, putting Breaking Bad star Aaron Paul in the driver’s seat of a tricked-out Mustang.

He’s undertaking a 240-mph, crosscountry quest to beat his douchebag rival (Dominic Cooper) in an illegal street race. The film offers up a steady stream of revving engines and amazing stunts—largely executed without computer assistance—that would do McQueen proud. Unfortunately, director Scott Waugh is also saddled with telling a story, which is a dubious task for a film based on a wildly popular series of video games with no plot.

Screenwriter George Gatins comes up with the simplest excuse possible to crash cars—it’s a standard honor and revenge narrative—but at 130 minutes, the film runs out of gas just when the third act kicks in. Paul, henceforth to be known as Aaron Paul Walker, glowers effectively enough behind the wheel as logic and physics are gleefully ignored. Need for Speed could have been a great little B-movie throwback if it knew where to slam on the brakes. Instead, it blows a flat about 90 minutes in and idles to the finish line. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

the awesomely stupid Orphan—has some slick tricks up his sleeve. The film seems like a parody of itself, balancing claustrophobic tension and action like a slack-jawed Hitchcock homage. Neeson knows how ridiculous this shit is, and so does his director.

This is trash cinema taken to wonderfully dumb heights. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Sandy.

The Nut Job

Animated squirrels plan a heist of a nut store. Parents, try to keep the dick jokes to a minimum. PG. Academy Theater, Kennedy School, St. Johns.

Omar

A Passion becomes a weapon of war

in Hany Abu-Assad’s nail biter Omar.

It’s a dystopian Romeo & Juliet set in the West Bank, except there is no Mercutio or Friar Lawrence or any friendly face to be trusted against the backdrop of an occupied, paranoid Palestine. Sensitive young baker Omar finds himself caught between manipulative Israeli authorities and his childhood friends who have, like him, become subversive freedom fighters. Omar continues to risk everything to protect his love, Nadia, despite a tangled web of secrets; the battlefield flips so often it’s difficult to track loyalties until the film’s final bloody moments. Although the suspense is the backbone of the film, newcomer Adam Bakri brings to the title role a rich combination of steeliness and sensitivity. GRACE STAINBACK. Living Room Theaters.

Pompeii

Will the slave-turned-gladiator save his betrothed as Mount Vesuvius erupts and Pompeii crumbles? Ain’t nothing like love against a backdrop of lava.

PG-13. Forest.

Saving Mr. Banks

C Disney movies walk a fine line between warm-and-fuzzy feel-goodery and all-out cheese, but few straddle the line as frustratingly as Saving Mr. Banks. This is, after all, a film that casts Tom Hanks as Walt Disney himself, struggling to get Mary Poppins made by awakening the inner child of prim, proper and persnickety British author P.L. Travers, played with eccentric hilarity by the great Emma Thompson. There’s considerable joy to be had in The Blind Side director John Lee Hancock’s depiction of 1960s Hollywood, and in watching Travers slowly seduced by the infectious songs that made Poppins a classic. Alas, Travers suffers more flashbacks than Timothy Leary. Each time the film hits a stride, we’re forced back to turnof-the-century Australia to witness her upbringing with her whimsically alcoholic dad (Colin Farrell, definitely playing to character). These endless flashbacks take the wind out of the film like a rip in a kite. For all its considerable joy and fantastic performances, Saving Mr. Banks gets greedy: It starts out tugging at the heartstrings but, with its strained sentimentality, eventually tears a ventricle. PG-13. AP

KRYZA. Edgefield.

Son of God

D While it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to learn that Son of God was adapted from another medium, this retelling of the story of Jesus Christ borrows less from the actual Bible than from The Bible: The film was adapted from last year’s extremely successful History Channel miniseries. Yet this is a small-scale affair.

Compared to Noah sailing the Great Flood or Moses parting the Red Sea, Jesus’ miracles look more like card tricks (so many involve fish!). After the three wise men’s brief visit with an already wearily devout Mary—played

by Touched by an Angel’s Roma Downey, who produced the film with her husband, reality-programming legend Mark Burnett—we’re introduced to a Christ fully grown and swimming in beatitude. As played by Portuguese heartthrob Diogo Morgado, our hero sets out getting the band together by forcing meet-cutes with each apostle and generally papering over wholly reasonable questions with a selfdelight bordering on arrogance. With the apostles all but indistinguishable— save for a Judas oozing disrepute and the ever-doubting Thomas, who looks like a soccer hooligan for reasons never explained—the conflicted villains of our tale effortlessly steal center stage as the action moves to a cheaply CGI-modeled Jerusalem. After a resurrection scene that feels especially tacked-on, our sermon has ended, and I don’t think the sequel’s coming any time soon. PG-13. JAY HORTON. Cornelius.

Tim’s Vermeer

B- In this documentary from Penn and Teller (yes, that Penn and Teller), an inventor of high-tech computer equipment named Tim Jenson sets out to re-create the painting The Music Lesson by 16th-century Dutch master Johannes Vermeer. The music is lovely, as are the glimpses of Vermeer’s work, but there’s something missing. Even at the conclusion of Jenson’s experiment, it’s not completely clear whether Vermeer had the help of a camera obscura when painting his masterpieces. What is crystal clear is that Jenson has too much time and money on his hands. Otherwise, why would he devote five years of his life to what is, in the end, (a) an extended version of MythBusters and (b) a hyped-up game of paint-by-numbers?. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Cinema 21.

Tiger & Bunny: The Rising

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] The next installment in the Japanese anime series, which is set in a futuristic New York City where the superheroes are broadcast on television as they fight crime, features a plot way too convoluted to describe here. If this is your thing, you probably already know about it.

Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Friday, March 14.

Veronica Mars

After a Kickstarter campaign that made headlines—backers contributed

$5.7 million—the movie adaptation of the cult-favorite TV show is being rolled out across the country. Onetime amateur sleuth Veronica is about to graduate from law school when she learns her ex-boyfriend has been accused of murder, so she flies back home, just in time for her 10-year highschool reunion. PG-13. Living Room Theaters.

The Wind Rises

B- Early in Hayao Miyazaki’s latest— and probably final—film, an earthquake strikes Tokyo. The earth buckles and writhes, rippling like a belly dancer’s abdomen. It’s a remarkably moving scene, both for its raw kinetic energy and for the clear sense of physical and human destruction. Alas, the rest of The Wind Rises, even as it showcases Miyazaki’s painterly hand-drawn animation, isn’t nearly so dynamic. And that’s in spite of a story that revolves around flight, the based-on-truth tale of an ace aeronautical engineer named Jiro. Born in 1903, Jiro’s devotion to airplanes gets him unwillingly swept up in the war machine: He travels to Germany to meet Nazi engineers and helps build machines that, no matter how beautiful, are designed to kill.

There’s an interesting tension here between technology and totalitarianism, but Jiro is so thinly developed— he’s a genius at work and a sweet husband to his consumptive wife at home—that the question quickly evaporates. The film has a lovely melancholy, but that feels largely due to Miyazaki’s impending departure from cinema. He’ll be missed, even if The Wind Rises is a bumpy ride. PG-13.

REBECCA JACOBSON. Lloyd Center.

The Wolf of Wall Street

A Martin Scorsese’s best picture

since Goodfellas and his fifth with Leonardo DiCaprio is at once hilarious, terrifying, hallucinogenic, infuriating, awe-inspiring, meandering and, at three hours, utterly exhausting. It’s also (in this critic’s opinion) the best movie of the year, possibly DiCaprio’s finest work and the bitch slap that Wall Street deserves—even if the true but ludicrous story of financial criminal, stock-market juggernaut and rampant drug addict Jordan Belfort could inspire others to aspire to his level of douchebaggery. This is a man who makes Gordon Gecko seem like Mother Teresa. With his buddies, he runs roughshod over the financial well-being of rich and poor alike and creates for himself a world of drugaddled debauchery that makes Hunter S. Thompson’s escapades seem like a college freshman’s. Some may scoff at the runtime, or at the film’s episodic look into Belfort’s debauchery, but both just serve to further pummel you into submission as our “hero” glides through a privileged life with a steady diet of Quaaludes, cocaine, hookers, alcohol, sushi and hubris.

Every moment counts. Every scene is frontloaded with hysterics and backloaded with dread. It is a modern masterpiece of excess, style and lunacy. r.

AP KRYZA. St. Johns.

Non-Stop

B It’s been about six years since Liam Neeson stopped campaigning for golden statuettes of bald men and started slugging bald foreign men with gold teeth, and Non-Stop marks the eighth film in which this classical actor-turned-rugged elder statesman of action has been consumed by neck-punching. It’s also the most colossally stupid film of his latter-day crusade against other men’s throats.

And as such, Non-Stop is entertaining as all hell. Neeson stars as air marshal Bill Marks, an alcoholic with a dead daughter who, a few drinks into his day, boards a flight that’s doomed for a fate only flights containing Liam Neeson can know. He gets a text from an unknown number saying that a passenger will be killed every 20 minutes unless the hijacker receives $150 million. All of the above sounds pretty stupid, but it’s nowhere near as stupid as the movie itself. And yet director Jaume Collet-Serra—who directed Neeson’s fists in Unknown and helmed

COURTESY OF DREAMWORKS

incredible. Directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller have imagined a world of chaotic bliss. Using a combination of computer and stop-motion animation that keeps the herky-jerky laws of Lego physics in mind, The Lego Movie follows milquetoast construction worker Emmet (Chris Pratt) on a hero’s journey. Emmet is seen as the unwitting prophet who could end the reign of President Business (Will Farrell), a tyrant who believes all creations should be made exactly according to instructions. We follow Emmet as he teams with Lego all-stars ranging from Batman to Shaq, who together attempt to keep imagination alive. The Lego Movie comes dangerously close to the pop culture-saturated Shrek model of comedy, but just when the film starts becoming too cute, the plot shifts into another nutso action sequence filled with clever sight gags. Naysayers will whine that it’s just an extended toy commercial. But for those of us who remember the limitlessness of our imaginations as we played with little plastic blocks, this is a joy to behold.

PG. AP KRYZA. Mill Plain, Cornelius, Moreland, Oak Grove, Lloyd Center, Sandy.

MOVIES

NEED FOR SPEED Willamette Week MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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AP FILM STUDIES CO U R T E SY O F PA R A M O U N T P I C T U R E S

MOVIES

PG. 27

MUSIC

VESTED INTEREST: The gangsters of Coney Island.

COME OUT TO PLAY

THE WARRIORS IMAGINES STREET GANGS AS A RAINBOW UNITED NATIONS.

BY A P KRYZA apkryza@wweek.com

If The Warriors were remade today (please don’t let Michael Bay read this), it’s very likely it would become a “gritty” look at gang life in America, punctuated by ham-fisted commentary about racism and class warfare.

That’s why it’s fascinating to look back at Walter Hill’s 1979 classic (playing Thursday, March 13, at the Hollywood Theatre) and realize it’s almost completely devoid of any racial dialogue.

Colors—as in those of the rainbow—are important to this tale of Coney Island thugs falsely accused of murdering Cyrus (Roger Hill, who died recently), a gang leader with shades of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. who wanted gangs to put away their differences and unite against the police. In the war zone that is New York, it’s color that defines these hoodlums, from the brown pleather vests of the Warriors to the black jackets of the rival Rogues, the purple of the Boppers to the orange of the Hi-Hats. Yet skin color is irrelevant: The Warriors exists in a strange vacuum where racial tension doesn’t seem to exist.

The gangs are like a U.N. assembly of street criminals.

The titular squad has members who are black, white and Puerto Rican. That doesn’t mean they’re saints. They’re rapists and murderers, as are their rivals, whether roller-skating dudes in overalls, bat-wielding clowns paying homage to A Clockwork Orange, or hare-lipped numbskulls.

But no one is racist. And in this genre, that’s as rare as a Blood taking a Crip out to brunch.

The Warriors, largely considered the prototype for street-gang cinema, is a multicultural experience. That casting choice frees up the film from being an overwrought treatise and instead allows viewers to focus on the balletic fights, psychedelic cinematography and comic-book ambiance. Can you dig it? Hell yes you can. Hollywood Theatre.

7:30 pm Thursday, March 13.

ALSO SHOWING: Am I the only one who thinks that if A League of Their Own’s Rockford Peaches could get that good that fast, they were juicing? That whole “crying in baseball” thing? ’Roids make you emotional. Hollywood Theatre. 7:15 pm Wednesday, March 12.

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After nearly three decades, Airplane! remains the prototype for every spoof that came after it (for good or ill), and an inspiration for comedians like Alex Falcone, who hits the stage before a screening of the screwball classic. Mission Theatre. 8 pm Wednesday, March 12.

The NW Film Center pays tribute to a local hero with Beyond Beyond: The Bob Moricz A/V Mixtape, a series of shorts spanning the neoexpressionistic filmmaker’s work (full disclosure: I have no idea what that means). NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Thursday, March 13.

The rare documentary Mr. Alder and the Opera offers a behind-the-scenes look at the world of the San Francisco Opera in 1981. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Thursday, March 13.

Considering it took 45 years for Gravity to finally give Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey a worthy partner in future double features, it’s safe to say HAL 9000’s legacy will be intact for a long time. Laurelhurst Theater. March 14-20.

Speaking of hypothetical double features, A Clockwork Orange and The Warriors would be a nice pairing. Academy Theater. March 14-20.

That Team America: World Police managed to lampoon the modern political environment better than any other film while starring fornicating puppets is either a testament to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s underrated genius, or a really sad commentary on contemporary satire. 5th Avenue Cinema.

Friday-Sunday, March 14-16.

Harry Dean Stanton, a punkrock Emilio Estevez, aliens and government spooks combine in Alex Cox’s Repo Man, one of the strangest and most enduringly bugfuck critiques of the Reagan era. Hollywood Theatre.

March 14-20.

The NW Film Center continues its Studio Ghibli series with two brilliant outliers. 1990’s Only Yesterday (2 pm Saturday, March 15) uses animation to illustrate the coming of age of a young woman, eschewing the fantastical for the realistic, while 1997’s Princess Mononoke (4:30 pm Saturday, March 15) amps up the fantasy, ditching the kindhearted beasts that mark works like Spirited Away for a violent, bloody adventure. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

Burt Lancaster continues to haunt the Whitsell with a trio of classics, including the 1947 prison drama Brute Force (Friday-Saturday, March 14-15) and two Westerns: In John Sturges’ classic Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (4:30 pm Sunday, March 16), Lancaster plays Wyatt Earp, with Kirk Douglas as his huckleberry Doc Holiday, while Vera Cruz (7 pm Sunday, March 16) teams the star with Gary Cooper as two tough guys stuck in the Mexican Revolution. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

Disney’s 1965 Haley Mills crapfest That Darn Cat! has already been remade once. Inevitably, when it’s remade again, the cat will probably have a blog. And be voiced by Anna Faris. Hollywood Theatre. Saturday-Sunday, March 15-16.

MOVIES

MARCH 14–20

C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .

Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT Fri-Sat-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00 THE WALKING DEAD Sun 06:00, 08:00

Century 16 Cedar Hills

3200 SW Hocken Ave., 800-326-3264-984 NEED FOR SPEED Fri-SatSun 12:10, 03:10, 06:10, 09:10 NEED FOR SPEED 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 11:00, 01:50, 04:40, 07:40, 10:35 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: WERTHER Sat 09:55 ELTON JOHN: THE MILLION DOLLAR PIANO Tue 07:00 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: WERTHER ENCORE Wed 06:30

GOT MILK?: A Clockwork Orange plays March 14-20 at the Academy Theater.

Kennedy School Theater

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St. 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE -AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-Sun 01:00, 04:15, 07:20, 10:05 NEED FOR SPEED Fri-Sat-Sun 03:45, 09:55 NEED FOR SPEED 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 07:00 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun 03:40, 06:45, 09:30 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D Fri-SatSun 12:10 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-Sun 12:55, 07:40, 10:15 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 02:50, 05:20 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-SatSun 12:05, 02:35, 05:05, 07:35, 10:05 NON-STOP Fri-Sat-Sun 01:10, 04:25, 07:10, 10:10 AMERICAN HUSTLE Fri-Sat-Sun 12:25, 03:30, 06:35, 09:40 SON OF GOD Fri-Sat-Sun 12:00, 03:15, 06:30, 09:45 GRAVITY 3D Fri-SatSun 12:40, 03:00, 05:15, 07:50, 10:15 THE WIND RISES Fri-Sat-Sun 12:45, 03:55, 06:55, 09:50 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: WERTHER Sat 09:55 ELTON JOHN: THE MILLION DOLLAR PIANO Tue 07:00 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: WERTHER ENCORE Wed 06:30

Regal Division Street Stadium 13 16603 SE Division St. NEED FOR SPEED Fri 12:30, 03:30, 07:30, 10:30 NEED FOR SPEED 3D Fri 12:00, 03:00, 07:00, 10:00 TYLER PERRY’S THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB Fri 11:30, 02:10, 04:50, 07:40, 10:20

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:00, 04:35, 07:30, 10:15 DIVERGENT

Cinema 21

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Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 MAIDENTRIP Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 BICYCLE FILM FESTIVAL PORTLAND: A SELECTION OF TOURING SHORTS Sat 06:30, 08:30 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW

Sat 12:00 THE RAID 2 Mon 07:00 PORTLAND STEW Wed 06:00

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2735 E Burnside St., 503232-5511 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:30, 09:45 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:30 ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 20 FEET FROM STARDOM Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:30 AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 06:45 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 NEBRASKA Sat-Sun 01:10

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503236-5257 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:40

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:15, 09:30 THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 08:00

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 AMERICAN HUSTLE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:15 FROZEN SING-ALONG Sat-Sun 03:10

Kiggins Theatre

1011 Main St., Vancouver, Wash., 360-816-0352 THE GREAT BEAUTY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 03:45, 06:30 JOURNEY TO THE WEST: CONQUERING THE DEMONS Fri-Sat-Mon-Tue 09:15

Century 16 Eastport Plaza 4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 NEED FOR SPEED 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 03:45, 07:00, 10:15 NEED FOR SPEED Sat-Sun 02:30

Edgefield Powerstation Theater

2126 SW Halsey St., 503-249-7474-2 SAVING MR. BANKS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:00 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:00

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30 INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:30, 08:45 THE NUT JOB Sat-Sun-Mon 12:00, 02:30

Empirical Theatre at OMSI

1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4000 JERUSALEM Fri-Sat-Sun 01:00 GREAT WHITE SHARK Fri-Sat-Sun 12:00, 04:00 FLIGHT OF THE BUTTERFLIES 3D FriSat-Sun 02:00, 05:00 MYSTERIES OF THE UNSEEN WORLD Fri-SatSun 11:00, 03:00 GRAVITY 3D Fri-Sat 06:00 THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Fri-Sat-Sun 06:00

5th Avenue Cinema

510 SW Hall St., 503-7253551 TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE Fri-Sat-Sun 03:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 AMERICAN HUSTLE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 GRAVITY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:10, 09:00 REPO MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:30 TIGER & BUNNY THE MOVIE: THE RISING Fri 07:00 THAT DARN CAT! Sat-Sun 02:00 THE WARRIORS Sat 07:30 LAND OF IRE: ST. PATRICK’S DAY FILM FESTIVAL Sat-Sun-Mon 01:30, 04:00 GRIDLORDS Sun 07:30 OUTSIDER 16MM SHORTS Tue 07:30 LA BOHèME Wed 07:00

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 BRUTE FORCE Fri-Sat 07:30 ONLY YESTERDAY Sat 02:00 PRINCESS MONONOKE Sat 04:30 GUNFIGHT AT THE O.K. CORRAL Sun 04:30 VERA CRUZ Sun 07:00 BIRDMAN OF ALCATRAZ Mon 06:30

Regal Cinemas Bridgeport Village Stadium 18 & IMAX

7329 SW Bridgeport Road NEED FOR SPEED Fri-SatSun 01:00, 04:15, 07:30, 10:35 NEED FOR SPEED 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 03:45, 07:00, 10:05 TYLER PERRY’S THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB Fri-Sat-Sun 01:15, 04:30, 07:45, 10:30

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 THE NUT JOB Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:50 AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:45, 07:15 INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:40, 09:45 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:15, 09:25 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 06:45 NEBRASKA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 A CLOCKWORK ORANGE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:55, 09:15

Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 THE ART OF THE STEAL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 09:00 BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:40, 07:45, 09:40 GLORIA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:50, 05:20, 06:40 GRAVITY 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 05:10, 09:30 HER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:20, 04:10, 07:00, 09:50 OMAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 07:15 THE GREAT BEAUTY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:00 VERONICA MARS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:50, 12:20, 02:10, 02:40, 04:30, 05:00, 06:50, 07:30, 09:10, 09:45

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12000 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-996 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: WERTHER Sat 09:55 THE GRAPES OF WRATH Sun-Wed 02:00, 07:00 ELTON JOHN: THE MILLION DOLLAR PIANO Tue 07:00 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: WERTHER ENCORE Wed 06:30

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. NEED FOR SPEED 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 07:00 NEED FOR SPEED Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:00, 10:00 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:20, 04:20, 07:20 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:10

St. Johns Theater 8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 THE NUT JOB Fri-Sat-

HEADOUT PG. 21 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, MARCH 14-20, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

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Week of March 13

JOBS ACTIVISM

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one.” So says a character in Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel The Unconsoled. At this juncture in your life story, Aries, it might be healing for you to make a similar declaration. Now is an excellent moment to say a final goodbye to plot twists that you wished would have happened but never did. To do so will free up stuck energy that will then become available for future projects. You may even awaken to exciting possibilities you haven’t imagined yet.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In May 2011, two Nepali men reached the top of Mt. Everest after a six-week climb. Lakpa Tsheri Sherpa and Sano Babu Sunuwar had prepared an unprecedented way to get back down off the mountain. Strapping themselves to a single parachute, they leaped off and paraglided for 45 minutes, landing near a Sherpa village thousands of feet below the summit. I suggest you look around for a metaphorical version of a shortcut like that, Taurus.

Don’t do the next part of the journey the same way you did the previous phase. Take a more direct route.

Enjoy an alternate adventure. Give yourself a fresh challenge.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Seeking wisdom and chasing after pleasure are polar opposites, right? You must devote yourself to either one or the other, correct? You can be an enlightened servant of the greater good or else an exuberant hedonist in quest of joy, but not both. True? No. No. No. False. Wrong. Here’s the bigger truth: Now and then, grace periods come along when you can become smarter and kinder by exploring the mysteries of feeling really good. Can you guess when the next of these grace periods will arrive for you, Gemini? Here’s the answer: It’s here now!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Humans walked on the moon before anyone ever had the simple idea to put wheels on suitcases. Unbelievable, right? Until 1972, three years after astronauts first walked on the lunar surface, travelers in airports and train stations had to carry and drag wheelless containers full of their belongings. I suspect that a comparable outof-sequence thing may be going on in your own life, Cancerian. In some ways you are totally up-to-date, and in other ways you are lagging behind. Now would be a good time to identify any discrepancies and start correcting them. Metaphorically speaking, I’d love you to have rolling luggage by the next time you take a journey.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you ever heard of the sasquatch, also known as bigfoot? You know, one of those big, hairy, humanoid beasts that walks upright and lives in dense forests? Scientists assure us that there is no such thing. But then they used to say the same thing about the platypus. It was a myth, they declared; a figment of explorers’ vivid imaginations.

A duck-billed, egg-laying mammal simply could not exist. When the respected British zoologist George Shaw claimed there was indeed such a creature, he was mocked by his contemporaries. Eventually, though, the truth emerged and Shaw was vindicated.

I suspect that you Leos will soon experience an event akin to the discovery and confirmation that the platypus is real.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Kyoka is a Japanese word that means a flower reflected in a mirror. I suggest you use it as a metaphor to help you understand what’s happening in your life right now. Here are some clues to jumpstart your ruminations. Are you more focused on the image of what you love than on what you love? If so, is there anything wrong with that, or is it perfectly fine? Are you more interested in ephemeral beauty that you can admire from afar than in tangible beauty you can actually touch? If so, is there anything wrong with that, or is it perfectly fine? Should you turn away from a dreamy surrogate and turn toward the real thing? If so, why?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A British researcher poured 300 million facts into a computer program designed to determine the most boring day in history.

The winner was April 11, 1954. It was selected because almost nothing important happened except an elec-

tion in Belgium. I’m wondering if you Libras might reach that level of blah sometime soon. The astrological omens suggest it’s a possibility. And frankly, I hope that’s exactly what happens. You need a break from high adventure and agitated activity. You would benefit from indulging in some downtime that allowed you to luxuriate in silence and stasis. The time has come to recharge your psychic batteries.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You won’t be the recipient of good luck in the coming days. Nor will you experience bad luck or dumb luck or weird luck. No, Scorpio. The serendipitous slew of synchronicities that will slip and slide into your sphere requires a new word, which I have coined for this occasion. That word is “shluck.” Shluck is a cracked yet plucky sort of backwards luck that provides you with an abundance of curious slack. Shluck slings your way a series of happy accidents and curious coincidences that give you experiences you didn’t even realize you needed.

To take maximum advantage of shluck’s benefits, you have to dispense with your agendas and drop your expectations.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the old fairy tale “Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves,” the poor woodcutter Ali Baba is collecting firewood in the forest when he spies a gang of thieves bragging about their exploits. Observing them from a hiding place, he hears them chant a phrase, “open sesame.” This magically unseals the opening to a cave that happens to be full of their stolen treasure. Later, when the thieves have departed, Ali Baba goes to the cave and says “open sesame” himself. The hocus-pocus works.

He slips into the cave and steals a bag of gold from the robbers’ plunder. This story has resemblances to an adventure you could enjoy sometime soon, Sagittarius. I suspect you may discover your own version of “open sesame.” It will give you access to a less literal and more legitimate bounty.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your ability to heal rifts and bridge gaps is unusually high. You could connect seemingly irreconcilable elements and forge apparently impossible links. Former allies who have become estranged might be moved to bond again through your compassionate intervention. I’m not promising amazingly miraculous feats of unification, but I’m not ruling them out, either. You have a sixth sense about how to create interesting mixtures by applying just the right amount of pressure and offering just the right kind of tenderness.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My friend Harry said he wanted to teach me to play golf. “Are you kidding?” I asked him incredulously. “The dullest game on the planet?” He tried to convince me that it would provide lots of interesting metaphors I could use in writing horoscopes. “Name one,” I challenged him. He told me that “Volkswagen” is a slang term that describes what happens when a golfer makes an awkward shot that nevertheless turns out to be quite good. “Hmmm,” I replied. “That is exactly the theme I have decided on for the Aquarius horoscope.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you remember being in your mother’s womb? Probably not. But here’s what I know about that time: In the first few weeks after you were conceived, your body grew at a very rapid rate. Once you were born, if you had continued to expand and develop with that much vigor, you would literally have grown to be as big as a mountain by now. So let’s be thankful you slowed down. But I do want to sound an alert and let you know that you are currently in a growth spurt with some metaphorical resemblances to that original eruption. It’s basically a good thing. Just be aware that you may experience growing pains.

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Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM

Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS Learn Piano All styles, levels

With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

EVENTS

MOTOR Presents

Rhythmic Melodies Carnatic Violin Duet with Mridangam, Morsing & Konnokol

AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

SERVICE H.N.Bhaskar & Ashwin Ramanathan - Carnatic Violin Shiva Bharadwaj - Mridangam Shankar Viswanathan - Konnokol & Morsing

First Baptist Church 909 SW 11th Avenue • Portland

“Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!

Saturday, March 15, 2014 at 7:30 PM Admission FREE for 2013-14 Friends of Kalakendra & Members Adults: $20 ($25 at door), Children (3-12 years): $10 ($12.50 at door), Students (with ID): $15.00 Tickets can be purchased online at www.Kalakendra.org

FOLLOW @ WWE E K ON TWITTER

Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

53

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

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Across 1 ___ Bator (Mongolia’s capital) 5 Part of a war plane 11 Italian or Swiss summit 14 Fantasy sports option 15 Jiddah’s leaned 16 ___ Paulo (Brazil’s most populous city) 17 Bathrooms brimming with lawn clippings?

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39 Hands out 43 Bangkok bankroll 44 Utmost ordinal 45 Wood that flavors bourbon 46 Thousand dollar bills that fly and roost?

50 1052, to Tacitus 51 Last half of a tiny food contaminant (with first half of, um, you know...)

52 “Two Virgins” musician Yoko 53 Folks who Owen Meany films, say 54 Pang or misgiving 56 Military turndown

23 Wheat bread Pitt almost took away for 2011 26 Appomattox initials 29 Country musician Axetone 30 Just ___, skip and jump away 31 Scandinavian fans of Wiggum’s kid (in Simpsons-iana)?

34 Quantity of bricks?

35 Two from Tijuana 36 Stir things up 37 British artist William with a 1745 portrait of him and his pug dog

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SEE US ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM 54

Week Classifieds MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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25 Capitol Hill gp.

27 Took a hop 28 Bad guys pursuant

of peace, man 31 Latvian-born artist Marek 32 Mila’s “That 70’s Show” costar 33 Code and sealemon, for two 35 Transylvanian count, informally 38 Bubbling, in a way 40 Pro tour sport 41 Unworldly sort 42 Things worn to go downhill fast 46 Fined without fault 47 Hour for a British cup, traditionally 48 Gaucho’s grasslands 49 How you might wax nostalgic 50 Works of art on walls 53 Auction node 55 Meanly, in nouns (abbr.)

57 City on a fjord 58 Prompt jaws to drop, say 61 UFC fighting classification, for short 62 Holm of filmdom 63 Quick shot of brandy 64 Williams with a “Mortal City” album 65 Cook bacon last week’s answers

©2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ666.

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TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

BACK COVER CONTINUED...

TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-2757

• Connoisseur Shelf • Exclusive Muscle Rub & Salve • High CBD Tinctures

Free Preroll

Sunday 11am to 5pm

for New Patients

Brothers offers the finest variety in meds, baked goods, oils and more!

Come in and visit our friendly staff and get the relief suitable to your needs.

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S.E. 37th Ave.

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Open 7 Days a Week!

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Interested in adopting from the Pixie Project CALL 503.542.3433

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801 NE Broadway St. Portland, OR 97232 • We Do Catering

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Visit us at Facebook.com/sunlanlighting & 3901 N Mississippi Ave • www.SunlanLighting.com Hours: Mon-Fri 8:00 to 5:30 Sat 10:00 to 5:00

MORE ADS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM If you or your business would like to sponsor a pet in one of our upcoming Pet Showcases,

contact:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757

ww presents

I M A D E T HIS Check back next week for our featured artist

Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 12, 2014 wweek.com

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TO ADVERTISE ON WILLAMETTE WEEK’S BACK COVER CALL 445-2757

BANKRUPTCY

Do you want to be debt free?

Call Now: 503-808-9032 FREE Consultation. Payment Plans.

Scott Hutchinson, Attorney www.Hutchinson-Law.com

AA HYDROPONICS

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$BUYING JUNK CARS$ $100-$2000 licensed and insured ,free removal call Jeff 503-841-3415 jeffsjunkcarspdx@yahoo.com

Comedy Classes

A FEMALE FRIENDLY SEX TOY BOUTIQUE

Improv, Standup, Sketch writing.

Now enrolling The Brody Theater, 503-224-2227 www.brodytheater.com

PARTNERS IN PASSION: BECOMING MORE THAN SOUL MATES / WED, MAR 12 - 7:30 – $20 WAITLIST EROTIC BREATHWORK / SUN, MAR 30 - 7:30 – $20 BEYOND MONOGAMY / THURS, APRIL 17 - 7:30 - $20

Community Law Project

CHECK WEBSITE FOR APRIL CLASSES AND EVENTS

Sliding-Scale Nonprofit Attorneys Bankruptcy - Tenants Small Business - More (503)208-4079 www.CommunityLawProject.org

SHEBOPTHESHOP.COM 909 N BEECH STREET, HISTORIC MISSISSIPPI DISTRICT 503-473-8018 SU-TH 11–7, FR–SA 11–8

DRUM LESSONS

Quality Instruction from a working pro.

RandyHerbert.com 503-438-8466

Guitar Lessons

20% Off Any Smoking Apparatus With This Ad!

MEDICAL MARIJUANA

Glass Pipes, Vaporizers, Incense & Candles

Card Services Clinic

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Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137

7219 NE Hwy. 99, Suite 109

JiuJitsu

Ground defense under black belt instruction. www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

North West Hydroponic R&R

Vancouver, WA 98665

(360) 735-5913 212 N.E. 164th #19 Vancouver, WA 98684

(360) 514-8494

We Buy, Sell, & Trade New & Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624

1425 NW 23rd Portland, OR 97210 (503) 841-5751

6913 E. Fourth Plain Vancouver, WA 98661

Ask for Steve. 503-936-5923 Licensed/Bonded/Insured

*971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

Opiate Treatment Program

Open 7 Days www.ommpResourceCenter.com

Evening outpatient treatment program with suboxone.

CRCHealth/Dr. Jim Thayer, Addiction Medicine http://belmont.crchealth.com 1-800-797-6237

W W E E K D OT C O M

ectjustice.com

Vancouver, WA 98664

(360) 213-1011

1156 Commerce Ave Longview Wa 98632

(360) 695-7773 (360) 577-4204 Not valid with any other offer

Oregon Medical Marijuana Patient Resource Center

$Cash for Junk Vehicles$

8312 E. Mill Plain Blvd

1825 E Street

Washougal, WA 98671

(360) 844-5779

OVERWHELMED BY DEBT?

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Get a fresh start! Call today for free consultation.

Debt relief agency, Attorney, Amber Wolf 503.293.8482

ROSE CITY GUN & KNIFE SHOW

Mar 15th and 16th Portland Expo Center Sat. 9-6, Sun 9-4. Admission $10. 503-363-9564 wesknodelgunshows.com

Find More Online @ wweek.com

4911 NE Sand andy and ndy Blvd, Portland tland • open 7 days tla

$$$ CASH FOR DIABETIC TEST STRIPS $$$ Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro.

Call 360-693-0185

SUBOXONE

Program, Off Max near Clackamas Town Center 503-902-1105 Dr. Ray Tangredi Psychiatry/Addiction Initial 30 Minute Consultation Free

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moving meditation www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

Dekum Street Doorway A Linnton Feed & Seed Garden Store

Tuesday, April 1st, 7:30PM – Newmark Theatre

DekumStreetDoorway.com

For more information: www.MetroArtsInc.org • 503.245.4885 z

FEATURING YOUNG ARTIST ALUMNA, VIOLIN SOLOIST BECKY ANDERSON!

PHOTO:LLOYD LEMMERMAN

NIEL DEPONTE WITH 2013WINNERS

New Downtown Location!

503 235 1035

1501 SW Broadway www.mellowmood.com

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

• Gardening tools • Chicken feed • Soil & Mulch • Plant starts • and more!

503-310-4578

Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!

Historic Woodlawn Triangle at NE 8th & Deekum

www.hammyspizza.com