43.39 - Willamette Week, July 26, 2017

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“MY SINUSES FEEL ODDLY WARM.”

A defiant couple is caging big cats in the Portland suburbs.

Should anybody stop them?

P. 43

TIGER FARMER THE

By Katie Shepherd | PAGE 1 2

WWEEK.COM

VOL 43/39 07.26.2017

NEWS THE FIRST RULE OF TRUMP CLUB IS DON’T TALK ABOUT RUSSIA. CULTURE THE RISE AND FALL OF TIM/KERR RECORDS. P. 27

P. 7

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

sAm gehrke

FINDINGS

PAgE 20

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 43, ISSUE 39

One Oregon Republican thinks her son would collude with Russia, just to practice the language. 7 Weed farmers are protecting their crops with locally grown

If you were searching through the Goodwill bins in the early 2000s, you may have found the Dandy Warhols’ old master tapes. 27

tiger shit. 12

Portland’s next hot neighborhood is... Argay? 37

A mojo is a fake-ass jojo invented

by Shakey’s Pizza. 24

Shakespeare stole the plot of Romeo & Juliet from a

Our food writers sometimes get together to yell at each other about deep-dish pizza. 25

ON THE COVER:

12th-century Persian play. 38 Video stores still exist. 40

Snorting chocolate Four Loko is actually quite smooth. 43

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

A tiger of a tale. Illustration

by Joanna gorham.

there’s a hidden scottish garden in dunthorpe.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EditoRiAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Katie Shepherd Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Nicole Groessel Stage & Listings Editor Shannon Gormley Screen Editor Walker MacMurdo Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage

Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Sophia June Editorial Interns Dana Alston, Max Denning, Elise Herron, Jessica Pollard ContRibutoRs Dave Cantor, Pete Cottell, Jay Horton, Jordan Michelman, Jack Rushall, Thacher Schmid, Chris Stamm, Matt Stangel, Mark Stock PRoduCtion Creative Director Alyssa Walker Designers Tricia Hipps, Rosie Struve, Rick Vodicka Photography Interns Carleigh Oeth, Nino Ortiz Design/Illustration Intern Elizabeth Allan, Ann Gray

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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DIALOGUE Here’s what readers said about the caravans of RVs the city is now authorized to tow, and the people who live inside (“Zombieland,” WW, July 19, 2017).

Adam Robins, via wweek.com: “I live within sight of this strip of RVs. I don’t appreciate being used as an excuse by those who would seek to forcibly displace people who are living on the margins and have no realistic options. I am glad to see an article that seeks to humanize those living in this desperate state and afford them a voice to speak to their own experiences.”

Hucklebert, via wweek.com: “I wish the media would quit portraying all homeless people as innocent victims affected by the housing crisis.

Denying reality is not going to solve this problem…and by the way, people have to decide when they want to get clean…someone else can’t do that for them.”

Chelsea Burgwin, in response: “There definitely should be more help for the homeless. But parking on a residential street is not the solution, and these people should be searching out other options. I feel for them, but still don’t want them parked outside my house.”

Catie Gould, via Facebook: “There aren’t enough beds in Portland for the homeless population. I’d rather them be in an RV then on the street, especially when the weather turns cold in a few months.”

Jonathan Howell, via wweek. com: “Build a low-income RV park next to Dignity Village. There’s a decent solution. Tag and tow the rest.”

“It’s become a crime to be homeless.”

Joeb99, via wweek.com: “Why can’t we acknowledge that some people living on the streets are mentally ill, some are drug addicted, some are criminals, and some are people who are genuinely displaced due to financial concerns.

We’re talking about four distinctly different populations here, each with a potentially different ‘best solution’ for helping them.”

Katie Zinsli, via Facebook: “So where should they live, the homeless? It sounds like every option has been and will be taken away under penalty of law…it’s definitely become a crime to be homeless.”

Darren Venhuis, via Facebook: “Time to tow, crush and turn them into new cars. Just because they can’t afford rent doesn’t mean they get to clog our streets with RVs.”

Dusty Eppers, via Facebook: “‘One of our jobs is to make sure our city is a livable place,’ says City Commissioner Dan Saltzman.

Well, maybe if apartment costs didn’t double or triple in a lot of neighborhoods, or if housing purchase prices weren’t triple what they should be, maybe this wouldn’t happen.”

Gabriel Minchow, via Facebook: “So, tiny homes are in, but RVs are out?”

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification.

Letters must be 250 or fewer words.

Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Email: mzusman@wweek.com

BY M A RT Y SMIT H DR. KNOW IS ON VACATION UNTIL NEXT WEEK. IN THE MEANTIME, PLEASE ENJOY THIS WARMED-OVER DRECK FROM A COUPLE YEARS BACK.

U.S. President Herbert Hoover was from Oregon. How come nothing here is named after him? —Tequila Wilhelmina I admire your penchant for brevity, Willi. You should be on Twitter—and while you’re there, why not follow me, @martysmithpdx? (How shameless was that? Pardon me while I go autoclave my tongue.)

Anyway, it’s a legitimate question: If L.P.W. Quimby—a hotel manager whose main claim to fame was that he once gave some 19th-century dudes a lift to Salem—can get a street in Northwest Portland named after him, where’s Hoover’s swag?

Born in Iowa in 1874, Hoover moved to Newberg at 10 and stuck around long enough to do his first two years of college there. Given our lax local standards—half the Oregonians you know are from elsewhere—that’s good enough that we can claim him if we want.

That’s a big “if,” though. I don’t know how much attention you were paying in 20th-century American history, but Hoover is the guy who tends to absorb a lot of the blame for the Great 4

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

Depression.

That may not be entirely fair, but given that the shantytowns of homeless starvelings that sprang up during this period were called “Hoovervilles,” our forefathers can be forgiven for finding the prospect of “Herbert C. Hoover Memorial Bridge” about as appealing as, say, “Adolf Hitler Expressway” or “Jeffrey Dahmer City Park.”

It’s kind of too bad, because until he had the bad luck to become president, Hoover was known as a humanitarian genius whose efforts as head of the U.S. food relief program saved millions from starvation during WWI. Even so, there is the Hoover Dam, which does to the Colorado River what its namesake couldn’t do to the Depression. But speculation that the famous vacuum cleaner took the name Hoover because “it also sucks” is just mean.

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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What, Portlanders worry?

President Donald Trump’s Election Integrity Commission hasn’t led to a wave of Multnomah County voters canceling their registrations.

This month, The Denver Post reported that Colorado voters were canceling their registrations in unprecedented numbers, fearing the federal government would receive their personal information. But Multnomah County elections director Tim Scott says as of July 20 just 17 county voters have asked for cancellation since the federal commission was announced—two more than the previous month. “And the vast majority of them said they had moved out of state,” Scott says.

Housing Bureau Picks Property to Buy With Airbnb Money

Three years ago, Portland City Hall approved a tax on Airbnbs and other short term rentals to spend on affordable housing. Now the Portland Housing Bureau has selected its first purchase using short-term rental tax dollars: a 50,000-squarefoot property at 3000 SE Powell Blvd. with a price tag of $3.72 million. The land could be developed into as many as 300 units of affordable housing using funds from another pot of money: a chunk of the $258 million housing bond. (The city is still picking those projects.)

Gorge Residents Sue Jail for ICE Contract

Residents of Oregon’s Wasco County have sued a regional jail in The Dalles for imprisoning undocumented immigrants on behalf of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. On July 21, four residents sued the Northern Oregon Regional Correctional Facility in federal court, claiming the jail is misusing their tax dollars and violating state law by imprisoning immigrants for the federal government.

WW reported this spring on the jail holding immigrants in possible violation of Oregon’s 1987 sanctuary law, which forbids state and local resources from being used to find and deport undocumented immigrants (“Trapped in the Gorge,” WW, May 10, 2017).

DANIEL STINDT

dealS good tHrougH 7/31

Mural Artist Discovers His RV Painting Is Now a Home

A Portland mural artist was surprised to see an RV decorated with a Mount Hood landscape on WW’s cover last week—because he painted it. The freelance painter, who goes by Joseph the Human, had airbrushed the abandoned Country Camper four years ago when it was dumped in front of his art studio in Northwest Portland. He says it was “moldy and unloved—completely ditched.” The RV was hauled away by the city a few weeks later. It is now home to Sheila Fitch, who has parked it in St. Johns (“Zombieland,” WW, July 19, 2017). Portland Bureau of Transportation spokesman John Brady says private tow companies can resell towed RVs street.

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

Russian

to judgement WE ASKED OREGON REPUBLICANS ABOUT DONALD TRUMP JR.’S MISSION TO MOSCOW. THEY DIDN’T LIKE THE QUESTIONS.

TRICIA HIPPS

OUR QUESTIONS •Would you take a meeting with a Russian lawyer who was offering opposition research from the Russian Government?

Did you hear the one about the •What questions do you have about the Trump campaign’s conduct?

BY JE SSI C A P O L L A R D

and

MAX D E N N I N G 5 03 - 243 - 21 2 2

president’s son meeting with Russian operatives to get election-year dirt on Hillary Clinton?

No? Don’t worry: Many of Oregon’s top Republicans don’t seem to be taking it seriously, either.

The latest twist in the investigation of links between President Donald Trump’s campaign and Moscow is a doozy: Two weeks ago, Donald Trump, Jr. released emails showing he had eagerly agreed to meet with Russians who promised damaging details on his dad’s opponent. This week, Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, testified to Senate investigators that while he attended the meeting, he didn’t collude with a foreign power.

This seemed the sort of thing that should worry a Republican. So for the past two weeks, WW has asked Oregon’s most prominent members of the GOP to talk about it.

We contacted more than a dozen Republicans with two questions about the Trump scandal. Many of them never answered. Others tried to change the subject, or laughed it off as a joke. Two officials said they’d take a meeting with Russians, too.

Here’s what we asked—and the answers we received. They’re condensed for space. Read full replies on wweek.com.

DECLINED TO ANSWER,

Rep. Julie Parrish (R-West Linn) “Briefly—there should be no foreign influence in our politics, period. If I was WW, I’d be more worried about the fact that local politicians were found to have taken contributions from foreign sources (reported by WW last year), and a bill to clearly ensure in our state laws that Oregon’s campaign finance is free of foreign money was never even given a hearing in the state Legislature this year.”

Bill Currier Oregon Republican Party chairman “ We w o u l d l i s t e n t o any opposition research, just as the Democratic National Committee did with Alexandra Chalupa and the Ukrainian government when they were building their anti-Trump case. Why more resources weren’t focused on exposing Hillary Clinton’s numerous scandals and the DNC’s corrupt handling of the selection of their presidential nominee?

“I would not take such a meeting. I go out of my way to avoid entering into relationships with agents of foreign governments and would not do so except as a participant in a state-sanctioned trade mission. I am wondering when the media will stop helping Oregon’s 30-plus-year single-party regime to direct attention away from what matters in Oregon, which is Public Employee Retirement System reform and reining in out-of-control spending on a failing progressive agenda, to issues more suitable to grocery-store tabloids.”

James Buchal Multnomah County Republican chairman “If I were running against a corrupt, high-level Democratic opponent, the representative of a party that has undermined America with the Russians…I’d have someone meet with the Russians, because in such circumstances, the Russian government might be in a position to provide information American voters need to hear about a candidate.”

Sen. Alan DeBoer (R-Ashland) “Your two questions have no relevance to the many problems that we face in my job as senator in Oregon.”

Rep. Bill Post (R-Keizer) “President Donald Trump won the election. It’s time to concern ourselves with Oregon’s needs.

Neither question is applicable to a state representative. I don’t usually meet with many foreign officials, unless you count someone from the Pearl District.”

Sen. Kim Thatcher (R-Keizer) “I would not take the meeting because why would they help me? I love freedom, America and my district. However, if there was a flying squirrel and a moose in this hypothetical scenario, it might be entertaining to take the meeting. Relating back to what Trump’s son did, I have a son, who is currently studying the Russian language. I bet he would take the meeting just to practice.”

DID NOT ANSWER:

citing his role as an elections official:

Dennis Richardson Oregon Secretary of State

Sen. Ted Ferrioli (R-John Day)

Rep. Rich Vial (R-Sherwood)

U.S. Rep. Greg Walden (R-Ore.)

Knute Buehler GOP gubernatorial candidate

Allen Alley former GOP gubernatorial candidate

Gordon Sondland hotelier and Trump donor

Rep. Mike McLane (R-Powell Butte)

Rep. Mark Johnson (R-Hood River) Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

ANJABEEN ASHRAF

NEWS “YOU CAN’T EVEN BE SAFE IN YOUR OWN CAR. PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO WONDER, ‘WHERE IS IT THAT I CAN TRULY FEEL SAFE?’”

an arrest—it’s to make an arrest and have a successful prosecution, and depending on the facts, that can take more time than everyone would like.”)

Khan remains frustrated by what he sees as a weak response by police and prosecutors. He’s been traveling from Albany to Portland to demand changes in how local law enforcement handles hate incidents.

This week, he talked to WW about the reforms CAIR has in mind.

WW: Let’s talk about the man who followed a Muslim couple and told them to get out of the country.

What effect did he have on the lives of his targets?

Zakir Khan: It’s definitely put them on edge. They feared for their lives. When you’re the victim of what is essentially a terrorist attack, it can cause a lot of trauma. But these are some really brave people. They’re also some really patient people.

HOTSE AT

Zakir Khan THE ORGANIZER OF A MUSLIM LEGAL DEFENSE GROUP SEEKS A SWIFTER RESPONSE TO HATE ON PORTLAND’S STREETS.

BY E L I S E H E R R O N

eherron@wweek.com

To most Oregonians, the May killings of two men who confronted an anti-Muslim screed on a Portland MAX train came as an appalling shock.

Zakir Khan was also horrified. He just wasn’t very surprised.

The 32-year-old communications instructor at Linn-Benton Community College in Albany has been sending out alerts all year about anti-Muslim incidents across the state. He’s a secondgeneration Indian-American who worked in social justice in Louisiana before moving to the Willamette Valley. In February, Khan and others began organizing an Oregon chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, a group based in Washington, D.C., that responds to antireligious attacks.

He’s seen no shortage of them—verbal assaults both before and after the MAX

stabbings allegedly committed May 26 by white supremacist Jeremy Christian.

On May 8, Chad Everett Russell walked into a Eugene mosque with a gun and threatened to kill the worshippers. Last week, he plea bargained for two months in jail and three years of probation.

On May 29, three days after the MAX slayings, Frederick Nolan Sorrell allegedly tried to run an African-American Muslim couple off a Portland road, driving alongside their car for more than 20 blocks while shouting racist epithets, including, “Take off the fucking burka! This is America! Go back to your fucking country!” The couple identified their harasser on social media in just a few days. Khan’s organization demanded an arrest. Five weeks later, on July 10, Portland police made one.

(Portland Police Bureau spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson defends the pace of the bias crime investigation. “Our goal in any investigation,” he says, “is not just to make

What about this case do people not understand?

It shows that you can’t even be safe in your own car. The Eugene Islamic Center incident showed you couldn’t even be safe in your own mosque. And the Jeremy Christian incident showed that you couldn’t even be safe taking public transportation.

People are starting to wonder, “Where is it that I can truly feel safe?”

Are anti-Muslim attacks on the rise in Portland, or are they just getting more attention because of who’s president?

I think that there is a bigger focus by the media. Which is actually pretty responsible of them, because there were criticisms coming out of the Muslim community— even during the Obama administration— that hate crimes were happening and the media wasn’t making it a focus. So I think that’s actually an important progression.

If that’s because it’s Trump, so be it.

CAIR just expressed outrage at the 60-day sentence for a man who threatened to kill worshippers at a Eugene mosque. What would have been a fair outcome?

Basically, the community had no time to prepare for him getting out of jail. So we want a couple of different things: giving proper time and notice to the community so that they know how to safeguard themselves, and a sentence that sends a message that these hate crimes are unacceptable in the state of Oregon. This is the first in a slate of incidents that set the tone for what our society was willing to accept.

What do you say to the defense that this guy was mentally ill?

If the mental health concerns are large, make sure that that person is put in a place where they can get support. By not making that a part of the probation process, we’re not really sure if that help is ever going to arrive. We need multifaceted approaches. In the wake of Jeremy Christian’s incident, to sit back and be like, “Oh, hate-crime reform isn’t really that necessary”—that sends a really negative message to people of color within Oregon that your needs are not as important as these other needs that we’re trying to cover.

And how about alt-right protesters who argue that hate speech is a lawful form of free speech?

Yeah, so the Constitution is beautiful in the sense that it gives people the right to free speech. But this guy Norris Henderson—he’s a criminal justice reform advocate in New Orleans—said it best: Some people in our society have really lost the ability to feel shame. I think that’s the thing that really screams out to be me when I hear people engaging in what is essentially hate speech. They don’t feel shame and a sense of responsibility for their words. That’s really troubling. We need to be a society that actually cares about the impact that our words have on other people. And especially from altrighters, I often see that they just want to spew their rhetoric out and they want so badly to be heard, but they’re not willing to go out and listen to other people.

What do you think of Portland City Hall’s effort to create hotlines and databases of hate speech?

I applaud the mayor, and the commission that created the grant system for community organizations to conduct intake and then to track and analyze these things, but there’s a lot more work that needs to be done. One thing that we’re upset about is that it took five weeks for an arrest to be made on a hate-crime incident. We always hear from law enforcement: “Report it, we want to know.” If they were quick to respond to hate crimes, that could even be a PR bonus, or a recruitment bonus: “We care about the communities that you come from. We’re willing to crack down on the hate that resides in Portland.

Come join our ranks and help stop hate crime from happening in Portland.” I just thought to myself, in the wake of the Jeremy Christian situation, there was a real opportunity that was lost for them.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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PRESENTS

FRIDAY, SEPT 1

THE WAY DOWN WANDERERS BLACKBIRD PRESENTS SATURDAY, AUG 12

WENDESDAY, SEPT. 6

CHRIS THOMAS KING

MYSHKIN WARBLER’S: WARNING SIGNS

FRIDAY, AUG 25

HALEY JOHNSEN THURSDAY, SEPT 7

PHOEBE HUNT AND THE GATHERERS

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

CHRISTOPHER ONSTOTT

NEWS

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CAMPING OUT: Gilligan, pictured here at the homeless camp Slough Town last year, has since been swept out of Parkrose.

Tossed Aside PORTLAND IS REQUIRED TO STORE PERSONAL ITEMS SWEPT OUT OF HOMELESS CAMPS. A CITY CONTRACTOR DIDN’T.

BY R AC H E L M O N A H A N

rmonahan@wweek.com

Gilligan is a handy fellow.

Last year, the homeless Portland man used a screwdriver, an ax and wrenches to build himself a tiny home on a raft in the Columbia Slough, complete with a wood stove, hand-crank washing machine and nearby heated shower. He figured those simple tools would help him build his next home.

To the security guards who tossed his camp, they were apparently trash.

The failure of a city contractor to store Gilligan’s personal belongings has thrown his life into turmoil—and seems to violate the terms of a legal settlement. Gilligan now has only cardboard boxes for shelter, a tarp slung over the top of them.

The company, Pacific Patrol Services, has a contract with the city’s facilities office—worth $117,557 this past year—to help Portland police clean out homeless camps. One of its responsibilities is to remove personal belongings during camp sweeps and store them for 30 days.

The storage requirement is a condition of a legal settlement the city signed in 2012 with six homeless plaintiffs represented by the Oregon Law Center. The settlement in Anderson v. City of Portland says the city must post advance notice of camp sweeps and keep “for storage any item that is reasonably recognizable as belonging to a person and that has apparent use.”

But earlier this month, Pacific Patrol Services assisted in sweeping a homeless camp in the Northeast Portland neighborhood of Parkrose— and has admitted to not keeping the items it cleaned out of the site.

Danny Ferren, 40, who goes by the name Gilligan, is a familiar face to WW readers. He was the founder of a floating homeless camp in the Columbia Slough called “Slough Town.” The welcoming reception given to Gilligan by residents of Parkrose was featured in a cover story last year (“Homeless Heaven,” WW, Aug. 3, 2016).

In the July 11 sweep of a camp on city prop-

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erty along Northeast 122nd Avenue and Airport Way, Gilligan lost nearly all his belongings, including construction tools, a heavy-duty bike trailer he’d made himself, barrels for making a new raft, his straight-edge razor for shaving, and spare bike parts.

On July 20, he telephoned Pacific Patrol Services and recorded the call. The tape, which he shared with WW, includes the voice of a security officer admitting the company didn’t keep Gilligan’s belongings, including the bike trailer.

“It…shouldn’t have been thrown away,” says Cy Torrey, the person at Pacific Patrol Services to whom Gilligan was directed.

Pacific Patrol Services is a Portland-based security firm that provides guards for a number of downtown clients, including city parks. In 2014, it won a contract to assist the city with homeless camp sweeps.

Torrey goes on to tell Gilligan the employee responsible no longer works for the company.

“I’m upset with this situation,” Gilligan tells Torrey, “because you’re saying you threw away everything I had. I had to borrow a bar of soap to take a bath afterward.”

Although homeless people have long complained that cleanup crews take a cavalier approach to their personal possessions during camp sweeps, the phone call marks the first occasion in which a security officer admits to failing to store belongings.

The city gives crews some discretion in what they can throw out and what they must store.

Any item containing food can be treated as garbage, the city says. But Gilligan’s bike trailer and tools appear to meet the settlement definition of items that must be stored, says Monica Goracke of the Oregon Law Center. “Without knowing anything about the actual items you list,” she adds, “I would say that items of that description should be stored.”

It’s not clear what action the city will take.

Spokeswoman Jen Clodius of the Office of Management and Finance says the city has the right to terminate its contract if Pacific Patrol Services fails to follow city policy.

“It’s possible that nothing at the site was salvageable,” says Clodius, who sent along photos of the site. “If anything was discarded that should have been kept, the City would do a complete investigation then decide a path forward. It is unlikely that we would terminate a contract based on one violation.”

Neither Pacific Patrol Services nor Torrey responded to WW’s requests for comment.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

11

TIGER FARMER THE

A defiant couple is caging big cats in the Portland suburbs. Should anybody stop them?

By Katie Shepherd kshepherd@wweek.com

12

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DANIEL STINDT PAU L S T E E L E

SORE SPOT: Zarah, a 3-month-old Bengal tiger, rubbed her face raw before the Jackson County Fair this month. “They rub,” says Cheryl Jones. “Some cats more so than others because they want to be out with you.”

C O U R T E S Y O F A WA L K O N T H E W I L D S I D E

W

ANIMAL LOVER: Cheryl Jones has been in love with wild animals since she saved a seagull with a hook its beak at age 12.

CHERYL JONES

hat is Cheryl Jones hiding?

Two months ago, Jones and her partner, Steve Higgs, moved much of their family business to an old horse farm outside Hillsboro. Parts of the 80-acre property can be seen just south of Highway 26, but most of the land is tucked behind the tree line.

“No Trespassing” signs line the half-mile gravel driveway. A metal security gate flanked by two stone lions blocks visitors from the farmhouse where Jones and Higgs have set up shop.

Jones and Higgs run one of Oregon’s odder nonprofits: A Walk on the Wild Side, a charity whose purpose, according to tax forms filed with the Internal Revenue Service, is “educational.” Its mission: to house exotic animals and transport them in a fifth-wheeler up and down the West Coast to county fairs and birthday parties.

Higgs manages the business of the nonprofit. Jones is the selftaught animal handler.

Since their move to Hillsboro in May, Jones and Higgs have stirred up the largely rural neighborhood. A Walk on the Wild Side’s new home sits among properties that are typically more than 80 acres in size, and are home to blueberry fields and horse stables.

But it’s also less than a four-minute drive to a McDonald’s and a Subway. In other words, it sits at the edge of regional planning agency Metro’s urban growth boundary.

A number of neighbors say Jones is a menace. Former neighbors say she keeps her animals in cages too small. Washington County planning officers say she’s flouting regulations. Her landlord, on the other hand, calls her a freedom fighter.

Jones herself? She says she and her husband are misunderstood.

“Come and see us at a fair,” she says. “Come and talk to us. Don’t just think that we’re the most terrible people who walk this earth.”

Just don’t ask to visit their new home.

This much is certain: At dusk in Washington County, the roar of lions can be heard from more than a mile away.

That’s because Jones and Higgs are assembling one of the largest collections of big cats in the state. Their farm, a 30-minute drive from downtown Portland, holds nearly twice as many lions and tigers as the Oregon Zoo. No government official has inspected the property since they moved the cats in. Jones and Higgs declined to allow WW to see the animals, saying the publicity could embolden regulators trying to shut them down.

For two decades, allegations of animal neglect and insufficient safeguards have dogged the couple—part of the reason they left their previous location, in Canby, 26 miles south of Portland along 1-5. But those complaints, often filed by neighbors, have almost never been substantiated. In fact, the couple have only once been cited for criminal animal neglect, in 2002, and the charges were later dropped.

Yet their new home could be short-lived, for reasons that stem not from animal welfare protections but land-use laws. In June, Washington County officials sent Jones and Higgs notice that the property they are now renting for A Walk on the Wild Side isn’t zoned for exotic animal exhibits. It can only be used as a farm.

Jones and Higgs, who have several decades’ experience dealing with adversaries, say—with completely straight faces—that’s exactly what it is. A farm.

And what are they farming? Tiger poop.

CONT. on page 14

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13

SHELBY SNOW

THE TIGER FARMER

SAY CHEESE: Customers, like these Jackson County fairgoers, can pay $30 to pose for photos holding tiger cub Zarah. Higgs says the photo ops help condition the cat to enjoy interacting with humans, and they help pay for the cub’s expensive formula.

BIRTHDAY GIFT: Zarah visits Jay Hegstad on July 1.

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Z

arah, a 3-month-old Bengal tiger cub, has spent most of her short life on the road: the Stockton County Fair in California, the Jackson County Fair in Southern Oregon, and Portland’s own Rose Festival.

Because she’s still so small—45 pounds, about twice the size of a housecat—she gets to sit in the cab of Jones and Higgs’ van and sleep with them in hotel rooms. Jones feeds her formula from a bottle.

At each stop, A Walk on the Wild Side charges fairgoers $30 to pick Zarah up from behind and hoist her into the air, like Simba being offered to the sun in The Lion King.

Jones and Higgs also take cubs to birthday parties and other private events, charging $200 to add a tiger to elaborate photo ops with partygoers dressed as Aladdin and Jasmine.

On occasion, they waive the fee. Mindy Hegstad’s son Jay is terminally ill with a rare genetic condition. Hegstad, who lives in Longview, Wash., called Higgs recently and asked if he would bring one of his big cats to Jay’s 11th birthday party on July 1. Higgs brought Zarah for free.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

“This birthday was a miracle. We didn’t think he was going to make it,” Hegstad says. “Jay got to hold the tiger and feed the tiger its bottle.

The tiger was just freaking adorable and so wellbehaved.”

Cheryl Jones rescued her first animal when she was 12 years old and living on a Portland houseboat with her family, which had moved there from Pasadena, Calif. It was a seagull with a fishhook in its beak.

Ever since then, she’s been in love with wild animals.

Jones and Higgs look as if they could be twins: straw blond-haired, tanned and clad in matching black polo shirts with a lion and tiger embroidered on the breast pocket.

The pair met 37 years ago at a Portland riding stable. She had worked as an operations manager at horse and greyhound racetracks. He had studied to become a physician’s assistant but dropped out of school to take care of his kids when his first marriage fell apart.

When they moved in together in Sandy, people started bringing them farm animals. At first, it was donkeys, horses and goats that had been abandoned by their owners.

But in 1987, they took in a cougar from the litter of a friend’s cat.

“A friend of ours asked us if we would bottleraise one of her cougars,” Higgs recalls. “It took off from there.”

“These animals are like our kids. We’re not making money off these guys. All the money that we earn, that’s keeping these guys alive.”

K

eeping a big cat is perfectly legal.

There are more tigers in American backyards than in the jungles of Asia.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture licenses about 2,600 animal exhibitors nationally, including roadside zoos, circuses and private rescue organizations. A Walk on the Wild Side is one of them—and has been since the early 1990s.

In 2011, Oregon lawmakers stopped issuing permits to people who wanted to own exotic animals as pets, after a number of high-profile escapes and maulings nationwide. But because Jones and Higgs were already licensed by the USDA, they were grandfathered in. Not only could they keep their animals, they could take in new ones.

By then, Jones and Higgs had settled in Canby, on 72 leased acres. They began taking in strays in earnest—both animals and people.

Jennifer McCall Ricke, a Clackamas County

CLACKAMAS COUNTY

medical assistant, volunteered at A Walk on the Wild Side when she was a teenager in the early 2000s. She says Jones and Higgs would often provide lodging for their volunteers, many of whom were otherwise homeless.

“They’re good people,” she says. “Some people think that they’re not because of what they do, but you just have to get to know them.”

In 2002, Jones and Higgs brought home their first tiger, Shere Khan. And in 2009, A Walk on the Wild Side registered as a nonprofit. According to the nonprofit’s tax returns, no one takes a salary or stipend from the organization’s revenues, including Jones and Higgs.

The money that A Walk on the Wild Side brings in from fairs, parties and photo ops—between $250,000 and $350,000 a year in recent years—helps pay for care of the animals, Higgs says.

“These animals are like our kids,” says Higgs, who manages the nonprofit’s business side. “We’re not making money off these guys. All the money that we earn, that’s keeping these guys alive.”

Anna Frostic, an attorney for the Humane Society of the United States, questions whether A Walk on the Wild Side is a charity or just a hobby.

Frostic helped author a 2012 petition to the USDA asking for tighter restrictions on who may own exotic animals. She says A Walk on the Wild Side was mentioned twice in that petition for allowing thousands of strangers to hold, bottle-feed and pose for photos with baby tigers.

Frostic says A Walk on the Wild Side’s justifications—that it is educating the public and training cubs to embrace human interaction—was “a common song we hear from unaccredited roadside zoos across the country.”

HAVE TIGER, WILL TRAVEL: A Walk on the Wild Side advertises its many entertainment offerings on the side of a trailer it uses to haul an inflatable slide and other equipment.

S

ince 2009, Higgs and Jones have been dogged by complaint calls, often from neighbors going to the Clackamas County sheriff about undernourished horses and dirty cages. The sheriff’s office and Canby police say they have responded to 83 calls regarding the property during the past nine years.

“It is an unusually high number of calls for a single property,” says Deputy Brian Jensen.

In August 2009, Joanna Derungs, who lived nearby, called to report eight horses that looked too thin.

“I drove by there every day and saw the horses’ health deteriorate,” Derungs recalls. “I finally decided to do something about it. This was so obvious because the horses were getting sick and laying down and probably dying.”

Jones acknowledges that inspectors from the U.S. Department of Agriculture came out to look at their horses several times after calls like that—but she was never cited for neglect.

(She says sometimes she’d take in sick, undernourished horses to treat and fatten them up.)

In fact, records show Jones and Higgs have actually been cited only a handful of times by the USDA, for insufficient fencing, dirty cages and improper paperwork. Jones says all of those problems were minor and fixed.

CONT. on page 16

FOU R

OF! O FANT R ASTIC ROOMS UNDER ONE

SPORTS BAR • VIDEOPOKER

SUNDAYS

Neo-Soul Sundays

TUESDAYS

THUR JULY 27

Mel Brown B-3 Organ Group FRI JULY 28

Farnell Newton Sidewalk Chalk & Friends FRI AUG 4 WED JULY 26 Braxton Cook Killiam Shakespeare

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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C O U R T E S Y O F A WA L K O N T H E W I L D S I D E

THE TIGER FARMER

SQUASHED: A Walk on the Wild Side’s tigers played with fruit from the pumpkin patch that Steve Higgs and Cheryl Jones opened each October in Canby.

“They were stinky and nastylooking.

I’m never going back there again.”

By 2012, Jones and Higgs had accumulated several lions and tigers, letting the public come and view the animals in their cages for $5 per person. Many of their early visitors also came for an annual pumpkin patch.

One of those visitors was John Robinson, who came to the property in October 2013. He told WW he was so shocked by the conditions he witnessed— specifically, small, filthy cages—that he called the sheriff.

So did another visitor, Christine Smith.

“The last Halloween trip we took the kids there, it wasn’t very clean,” Smith says. “There was a lion, I think, or a cougar, a bunch of different rodent-type things, birds, chickens, skunks, different types of wild animals. They were stinky and nasty-looking. I’m never going back there again.”

Clackamas County never found much to support the claims of animal neglect. But officials did start bugging Jones and Higgs about code violations.

In 2014, Andrea Hall and Kim Priest, code enforcement coordinators for Clackamas County, inspected the property.

She found piles of garbage leaning against animal cages. The fencing around the bear’s cage had been built without a permit. A barn had been converted into a reptile house, but the electrical work for lamps that kept the cold-blooded animals alive was installed without a permit, had not been inspected and left wires exposed. People were living in two unlicensed RVs that the county deemed illegally occupied.

“I don’t think I’ve run into a case with such a variety of animals,” Hall now says.

Higgs says the violations were nitpicky and designed to unfairly target A Walk on the Wild Side. “She was just like a pit bull going after us,” he says. “If one thing didn’t work, then she would just come up with another thing.”

For more than a year, Clackamas County sent letters to Jones and Higgs about the zoning violations, which were upheld. By November 2014, the couple decided to shut down their public zoo and started traveling more often to county fairs, typically bringing tiger cubs and cougars.

About a year later, the Canby property they were renting was sold to a new owner. Fortunately, a wealthy patron had already invited them to Hillsboro.

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C O U R T E S Y O F A WA L K O N T H E W I L D S I D E

 LEASE ON LIFE: Clackamas tycoon Terry Emmert has become a landlord for A Walk on the Wild Side. “I think that organizations that help rescue animals are a plus to our society,” he says, “not a minus.”

GOOGLE MAP VIEW OF EMMERT’S PROPERTY

T

he property that Jones and Higgs moved to is owned by Terry Emmert, a colorful figure in Oregon business. He’s a heavy-hauling magnate who briefly launched a pro football team in Portland, owns a herd of water buffalo he butchers for jerky, and has waged court battles with environmental and land-use regulators in three counties (“Touchdown Terry,” WW, March 5, 2014).

He met Jones and Higgs at a local fair. When he heard they needed to move, he offered them a lease. And he says their battles with regulators in Canby motivated him to help.

“No matter what you’re trying to do, whether you’re trying to help kids or help animals, there’s always someone who is going to try to stop you these days,” Emmert says, sitting behind a conference table at his Clackamas hauling company, Emmert International.

“No man’s life, property or liberty is safe while we have unrealistic regulations.”

In March 2015, a full year before Higgs and Jones began their move, Washington County officials say they informed their real estate agent that the land wasn’t zoned for wild animals—it could only be used as a farm.

Rita Howard, who has lived nearby on her family farm in rural Hillsboro since 1966, was aware of the restriction. Which is why she was surprised in May when she heard lions roaring.

“It almost sounded like a cow calling its calf,” Howard recalls, “but no, that’s not a cow.”

Standing on a neighbor’s truck bed, she realized it was the sound of big cats. “I thought, ‘Oh my God, are you kidding me?’” Howard says. “They were told they couldn’t move in there. How could that be?”

In early June, Tom Harry, a code enforcer for Washington County, got the first call about lions roaring nightly. He sent a cease-and-desist letter June 23 informing A Walk on the Wild Side that it could not keep wild animals.

Jones and Higgs’ attorney, Geordie Duckler, doesn’t dispute that the couple is keeping exotic animals in Hillsboro. But he argued to Washington County in a June 28 letter that the nonprofit may keep big cats on the property because A Walk on the Wild Side meets the legal definition of a farm.

“They’ve got livestock,” Duckler tells WW. “They’re raising poultry. They’re selling other animal products.

They’re not operating like an attraction.”

To be considered a farm under Oregon law, A Walk on the Wild Side must produce an agricultural product. Duckler and his clients say they have one: tiger and lion dung.

“By raising these tigers, they of course have poop that [we] extract,” Higgs says. “That is being used by farmers to keep the coyotes out and the cougars out.

They smell that scent, and they don’t want anything to do with a tiger.”

Higgs says she has a dozen clients buying tiger dung.

Among them are cattle and sheep ranchers—but he says the biggest market is cannabis growers who want to keep pests out of their crop.

Steve Pedery, who studies native predators as conservation director for the environmental nonprofit Oregon Wild, doesn’t think tiger poop would help ranchers much. “I am dubious that exotic cat dung would do much to deter wolves or coyotes,” he wrote in an email. “In the case of wolves, I’d fear it might actually serve as an attractant.”

Washington County officials don’t have a ready answer for Jones and Higgs’ argument.

“This is the first we’ve heard about them selling manure,” says county land-use spokeswoman Melissa DeLyser. She says the county’s lawyer “would have to do some legal research to determine whether manure from an exotic animal is a farm use.”

 FAT CAT: A Walk on the Wild Side provided photographs of its animals, like Leo the lion. Cheryl Jones says Leo loves to play in old McDonald’s PlayPlace tubing.  MYSTERY FARM: From above, you can see the four houses and other structures on the old McKay Creek horse farm.

But the tenants won’t permit visitors.

CONT. on page 19

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17

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THE TIGER FARMER

“I’m an animal lover.

I’m just opposed to the sneakiness.

To me that means they’re hiding something.”

—Rita Howard, Hillsboro neighbor

I

n 2013, Jones told Clackamas County officials that A Walk on the Wild Side owned sheep, goats, miniature cows, alpacas, pigs, horses, donkeys, rabbits, cavies (a large rodent), birds, kinkajous, lemurs, monkeys, bobcats, servals, caracals, a lynx, a fox, tigers, lions, a leopard, and hundreds of reptiles.

Jones and Higgs tells WW that most of these animals have been moved to Hillsboro—including the big cats: seven tigers and five lions. (The Oregon Zoo has six lions and one tiger.)

They are seeking more.

Jones claims to have one of the world’s few purebred Barbary lionesses and and has partnered her with a mate, hoping for cubs. She says she’s talking with zoos that aim to preserve the species, including the San Diego Zoo. (Neither the San Diego Zoo nor the Association of Zoos and Aquariums had any recollection of Jones.)

Jones also says she is successfully breeding smaller cats like servals and Canada lynx, and other

CLACKAMAS COUNTY

BURNING BRIGHT: Clackamas County officials captured shots of a tiger pacing up and down its cage during a 2014 site visit to A Walk on the Wild Side’s Canby property. Cheryl Jones says the big cats are kept in smaller cages when visitors come to the property—for safety.

animals like cavies and wallabies.

“Sometimes we feel like, ‘God, we’re the only ones out there trying to do anything and help with this,’” Higgs says. “We’re working hard to make sure that our children’s children’s children are going to be able to see these cats.”

The couple is adamant that they are an open book. For almost two weeks, Higgs told WW that a reporter would be welcome to tour the farm, to see how carefully it’s being run. But last week, Duckler said abruptly that WW would not be allowed on the property.

When WW traveled to Jones and Higgs’ property this week to ask follow-up questions, a reporter was not allowed to view the animals.

Jones says that’s because they’re gearing up for a battle with Washington County and don’t want to give their opponents any ammunition.

“We’d love to have you,” she says. “I have nothing whatsoever to hide, but we’ve kind of got a gun to our head.”

Howard, their Hillsboro neighbor, remains worried.

“I’m an animal lover,” she says. “I’m just opposed to the sneakiness. To me, that means they’re hiding something.”

Jones and Higgs laugh at the idea that neighbors should be alarmed at the prospect of their tigers escaping.

“If they got out, they’re not going to go far,” Jones says. “They’re going to come to us. Tigers are the biggest chicken animals you’ve ever seen in your life.” “ We have Chihuahuas that will chase our tigers away,” Higgs adds.

A Walk on the Wild Side’s next exhibit starts July 26 at the Hood River County Fair. Next month, it’ll be a featured attraction at the Clark County Fair in Ridgefield, Wash.

Washington County planning officials say they still don’t know their next move.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

19

Stree t

“Same as Michelle (left). We like the same things. It’s kosher, ha ha ha.”

“Something like Life of Pi pizza in a stone oven: super cheesy goat cheese, spinach, Mama Lil’s peppers and chicken.

“Artichokes all day in my oven!”

“I’d cover it with the world’s hottest pepper and make it at the gates of hell.”

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE THE PERFECT PORTLAND PIZZA? OUR FAVORITE LOOKS THIS WEEK. PHOTOS BY SA M GEHR KE

“I’d top it with organic, free-range, artisanally barbecued, grass fed tempeh with aged soy cheddar and bean sprouts. Then I’d bake it in my yard on my dryer-drum fire pit next to my chicken coop.”

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

“I’d make an engine-charred pizza with lots of anchovies and sausage.”

“I’d bake it in a clam and have arugula and goat cheese and something good like anchovies.”

“I’d put world peace on it and make it in the halls of power.”

STARTERS

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CHRIS ROBINSON & NEAL CASAL WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2ND AT 6PM

BUY THE NEW ALBUM FOR GUARANTEED ADMISSION! Chris Robinson and Neal Casal of the Chris Robinson Brotherhood will be doing a special acoustic performance to celebrate the release of Chris Robinson’s new album “Barefoot In The Head”. Their stellar new album marks the CRB’s third studio release in just two years, and it finds them pushing boundaries and breaking new ground with more joy and wonder than ever before. Rich with stunning musicianship and infectious energy, the album showcases the continued growth of Robinson’s songwriting partnership with his bandmates (guitarist Neal Casal, drummer Tony Leone, keyboardist Adam MacDougall, and bassist Jeff Hill) and revels in the kind of playful adventurousness that can only come from five artists tuned in to the same sonic wavelength.

Want to advertise? Email advertising@wweek.com for details.

BIKEYSTATE: You can now traverse the entire state of Oregon by mountain bike. The 668-mile Oregon Timber Trail opened last week as the state’s longest bike trail, extending from Hood River to Lakeview, Ore., near the mines of Modoc County, Calif. Along the route are Ponderosa pine forests, salt lakes, Cascadian rain forests, mountains ranges and cinder cones. If 700 miles isn’t doable, trail officials suggest spreading the journey out by riding only one of the four “tiers” on the route. “If you’re doing the whole trail, you’d need to be an expert with experienced backpacking,” says Travel Oregon’s Harry Dalgaard. “But to do the Deschutes tier, you could be a relatively novice backpacker. If you wanted to cut your teeth, it’s a great place to explore and have a good time.” If you complete the entire trail, you’d be in rare company: At last count, just two bikers have completed the trip.

BIG SHOES: Further cementing Portland’s reputation as the worldwide sneaker design capital, German shoe giant Adidas announced it will be moving into 80,000 feet of office space in Northwest Portland’s Montgomery Park building, as

first reported by Portland Business Journal. Adidas is staying tight-lipped about the nature of the land grab, but it’s been doubling down on its Portland presence of late—upping its employee tally by 50 percent over two years, handing out free shoes in the streets, putting on free rap shows and signing Damian Lillard to a shoe contract that includes a roller-skate edition. This new purchase comes in addition to the company’s already vast 14-acre North Portland campus, augmented two years ago by the purchase of a 25,000-square-foot building. This comes just as the 70,000square-foot downtown-Portland campus of Baltimore’s Under Armour nears its opening date.

SNEAKY WEEK: In unrelated shoe news, Portland will soon have a streetwear counterpart to the city’s multiple fashion weeks. SneakerWeek Portland will debut September 17-23, says co-organizer Ian Williams, owner of Old Town sneaker cafe Deadstock. The event—hosted also by Williams’ neighbors at Pensole Footwear Design Academy, among others—will be a smorgasbord of sneaker culture including shoe-industry seminars, basketball tournaments, a block party and a sneaker-focused amateur film festival called “Kick Flicks.”

The week will also include the return of the popular ICYMI sneaker resale market. Will footwear titans Nike or Adidas also be involved? “I can’t say yet whether they are doing it, but there are brands that are involved,” says Williams. Check sneakerweekpdx.com for updates and announcements.

NEW CELEBRITY: Venue-heavy North Russell Street— already home to Secret Society, Wonder Ballroom and White Eagle—looks to be getting even more music. Daniel Leussler tells WW he will close a deal July 26 to buy 16-year-old, pioneering cocktail bar Mint/820 next door to the White Eagle. He’ll turn the space into a music venue called Local Celebrity. “It’ll be connected to a live video series called ‘Killingsworth House,’” says Leussler, who has been filming an eclectic mix of local musicians in a “spider-filled” Northeast Portland basement since late 2016. “We’ll transplant the show into the venue and bring some of the bands in to play at Local Celebrity.” Leussler hopes the bar will be open by September.

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

7/26 W E D N E S D AY

THE OREGON BREWERS FESTIVAL

WAXAHATCHEE

With its massive selection of craft beer from all over the nation, the biggest and oldest beer festival in the state is also the best place to bring a burgeoning craft-beer junkie. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Naito Parkway between Southwest Harrison and Northwest Glisan streets. Noon-9 pm. Continues noon-9 pm Thursday-Saturday and noon-7 pm Sunday, July 26-30. Free admission; souvenir mug $7, tasting tokens $1.

Out in the Storm, Waxahatchee’s latest album, further establishes Katie Crutchfield as the voice of the current indie-rock generation. It’s her biggest record yet, bulging with ’90s guitars and timeless heartache. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 503-284-8686, wonderballroom.com.

7 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

T H U R S D AY

7/27

LAST THURSDAY

10 BARREL X WILDFANG RELEASE PARTY

Alberta's infamous street fair has endured all manner of chaos and fuckery throughout its lengthy run, so if you're relatively new to the city, it's worth your time to check it out before it's too late. Northeast Alberta Street between 15th and 30th avenues.

6 pm. Free. All ages.

The clothing company famous for the popular “Wild Feminist” shirts is pairing up with two of 10 Barrel’s women brewers to create a beer brewed, packaged and labeled by women. They’ll be releasing Grl-Pwr, a limited-edition pineapple mint sour. Wildfang West, 404 SW 10th Ave., 503-208-3631, wildfang.com. 7-9 pm. Free.

7/28

BLUE VELVET

After almost two decades, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is back—and still really funny. The show's live tour will include performances by current host Jonah Ray and series creator Joel Hodgson, plus lots of wacky robot mayhem. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 503-248-4335, portland5.com. 8 pm. $39.50-$299.

S AT U R D AY

7/29

PORTLANDIA MERMAID PARADE

THOMAS TEAL

F R I D AY

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000

Of all the cinematic attempts to highlight the creepiness of American suburbs, Blue Velvet is probably the most disturbing. More than any other David Lynch film, it’s harrowing, eccentric and understated. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., nwfilm. org. 7 pm. $9.

Get Busy

For its second year, the Mermaid Parade will include a mermaid beach swim and beach party at Poet’s Beach and conclude in a 21-plus Sirens Masquerade Ball after-party. Japanese American Historical Plaza, 2 NW Naito Parkway, portlandiamermaidparade.com. Noon-4 pm. Free. All ages.

EV VE E NT NTS S W WE E '' R RE E E E XC XCITE ITE D D A AB BO O UT UT E J UJLY 26 –AU G U ST U LY 5 –J U LY 11 1

JAW FESTIVAL Portland Center Stage’s annual festival of plays in progress continues with staged readings of two feminist plays about women’s sports and Pandora’s box. Portland Center Stage, 128 NW 11th Ave., 503-4453700. See pcs.org for full schedule. July 28-30. Free.

7/30

7TH ANNUAL WATER GUN FIGHT

S U N D AY

PFRIEM CRAWFISH BOIL The only thing better than crawfish by the pound with corn and andouille sausage is all that served up with killer smallbatch beers from Pfriem: Juicy IPA, guava Saison, Kolsch, Oud Bruin and kumquat farmhouse. Other Southern foods will be served, but seriously: crawdads. Interurban, 4057 N Mississippi Ave., 503-284-6669, interurbanpdx.com. 3-9 pm.

Apparently, there’s a massive water gun fight in Laurelhurst park every year. Just show up and be prepared to get wet. The only rule is that you’re not allowed to spray people eating in the picnic area. Seems fair. Laurelhurst Park, Southeast Cesar Chavez and Oak St. 2-5 pm. Free. All ages.

7/31 M O N D AY

WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER A few days before the second miniseries revival goes up on Netflix, you can catch David Wain's original, hilarious sendup of '80s camp comedies on the big screen for free. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-5588, cstpdx.com. 7 pm.

SHOWTUNES SING-A-LONG For a night, you can shamelessly belt out your favorite musicals and movies in public. Plus—it’s happy hour all night. There will probably be lots of Disney, so plan accordingly. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St., 503-235-8150. 7-10 pm. Free.

8/1 T U E S D AY

PIE HARDER Some of the best pie makers in town—whether pizza pie or pie pie–will be on hand for Willamette Week's second annual Pie Hard event, naturally called Pie Harder. Ecliptic Brewing, 825 N Cook St., 503-265-8002, eclipticbrewing.com. 5-9 pm.

ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN AND VIOLENT FEMMES One wrote moody English post-punk songs, the other were Midwestern buskers who whined about never getting laid. But what these two ’80s alt-rock pioneers have in common is that their best work still sounds fresh even today. Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Rd. 6:30 pm. Sold out. All ages.

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FOOD & DRINK

NOJOS A BRIEF ILLUSTRATED GUIDE TO JOJO PRETENDERS AND DEFECTORS

BY MATTHEW KOR F HAGE

mkorfhage@wweek.com

JOJO: A broasted jojo can be a perfect thing—a

wedge of potato that has been dredged in buttermilk and spiced breading, pressure-fried to elegant crispness on the outside with roasted potato within. Is the breading thick? Does the steam billow out on the first bite? Congratulations! You’re eating a jojo.

LITTLE JOHN: The Little John is like a jojo—breaded, spiced and broasted—but square, instead of wedged, and only sold at Fryer Tuck in Multnomah Village.

There’s a secret ingredient, they say, that makes their Little Johns taste distinctive, but it’s secret.

GREEK FRY: Sure, this is a skin-on potato wedge, breaded, broasted and spiced with “sprinkles.” But they insist it’s a “Greek Fry,” not a jojo. What makes it different? “The potatoes are flown in from Greece daily!” says Mad Greek manager Nicole Hoff. Does she actually believe that? “No,” she says. “But that’s what the old Greeks liked to say.”

FRIED POTATO WEDGE:

This cut-rate cousin to the jojo isn’t breaded or cooked in a pressure fryer. Instead, it’s just a too-thick french fry cooked in a drop fryer, with the sad mealy texture of an abused potato. It’s the burntrubber hot-plate wedge of gas stations everywhere.

BAKED POTATO WEDGE: The baked potato wedge, the long-necked cousin to the home fry, is dad food. It’s like a baked potato in smaller, crisper parts—sometimes juiced up with meat drippings and sometimes covered in rosemary. Baked potato wedges are literally homely, the stuff of Midwest family dinners.

:

SKIN-ON, THICK-CUT STEAK FRY This is like a square potato wedge, and is best known for devolving into a sort of mealy potato porridge as it cools. This is, perhaps, the lowest form of potato.

I L L U S T R AT I O N S : A N D R E W M O I R

MOJO: Invented by Shakey’s Pizza, it’s pretty much a scalloped, breaded potato pretending to be a jojo.

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WEDGE-CUT FRY: Not quite a potato wedge, not

quite a french fry, Hopworks’ three locations in Portland and Vancouver serve up something called a wedge-cut fry, which they also make into poutine. “They’re not breaded. There’s a seasoning mix, they’re pretty thick,” says Francesca, a host at the restaurant. “They’re smaller than the average jojo, bigger than your average french fry.” It is, as it turns out, a quite acceptable compromise.

DEEP

THOUGHTS

A DEBATE ABOUT HOW DEEP-DISH PIZZA SUDDENLY GOT TRENDY

BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE AND M ARTI N C I Z M AR

When our events team started planning the follow-up to Pie Hard, there was no question what the focus of this year’s pizza-and-pie party should be.

Deep-dish pizza—Detroit style, Nonna style, grandma style—is all the rage right now. In Portland, we’ve seen it pop up all over town. Even the city’s two greatest piemen, Ken Forkish of Ken’s Artisan and Brian Spangler of Apizza Scholls, are working on their own versions, though neither is ready for prime time yet. In Seattle, the hottest new pizzeria, Dino’s Tomato Pie, does it deep. Even in New York, squares are hip, as Emily pizzeria in Brooklyn has drawn raves as Food & Wine magazine declares that “Grandma Pie Is the New York Slice You Need to Eat Right Now.” Why is deep-dish pizza en vogue? We debated it as we get ready for Pie Harder.

MK: Honestly? I think people are tired of the reverence for crumb structure and char, the loyalty tests between Neapolitan and New Haven, the whole semi-fancy notion of pizza that suddenly attacked every neighborhood in Portland.

MC: And I completely disagree. I think people have become so knowledgeable about pizza, and the reverence for well-made wood-fired pies has become so widespread that foodie types want something new—and this is it. They still like fancy pies, and they see these as fancier pies.

MK: I’m less optimistic about the nobility of Portlanders’ desires—deep dish is comfort pizza, whether Detroit or Chicago.

MC: First of all, how is all pizza not comfort pizza? Did someone serve you a deconstructed, modernist pizza that had, like, no dough and the pepperoni was made of foraged mushrooms? But beyond that, I disagree with you conflating Detroit and Chicago. Everybody in America understands deep-dish Chicago pizza at this point. It’s a niche food—it has a place, but it’s not the same phenomena as these Detroit pies and grandma pies.

I

MK: No, Detroit is not Chicago. All things Chicago are ruined by people from there telling you the Italian beef or Chicago dog you have elsewhere is terrible: It is a city of failed ideals. Detroit just wants to party. There’s a looseness to Detroit pizza—to my knowledge, most of the stuff here wouldn’t even be claimed by Detroit. In Portland, “Detroit pizza” just feels like pizza-flavored pizza.

MC: Well, yes, Detroit claims it. Like Chicago, there’s an extreme “red top” version in a cast iron and all that, and then things that are along the same lines which are less distinct. I think all the new Portland deep dishes are on that spectrum. It’s not like they’re doing the same thing as Flying Pie in Montavilla.

“DID SOMEONE SERVE YOU A DECONSTRUCTED PIZZA THAT HAD, LIKE, NO DOUGH?” MK: Right, there’s the Gus Guerra pie. The ur-Detroit. But a lot of what we’re willing to call Detroit pizza is sort of an improvisation of that. East Glisan feels pretty faithful.

MC: Well, they studied the Detroit pies and spent a long time re-creating them. Pizza Jerk modeled theirs on New Jersey, but they’re the same thing: Sicilian pies that are baked in pans. That’s what makes them what they are.

MK: Yes, but let’s not assume the mass food populace is sitting there thinking about the precise acidity of the sauce and funkiness of the cheese. These Sicilian pies are where talented chefs are turning their attention, after a spot in

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

Shandong 411 NW Park Ave A @pdxsantebar

www.shandongportland.com

Seattle got nuttily popular. But fundamentally it’s a cheesy, thick-crust pan pie in a city where we’ve been told we’re supposed to want thin-crust char, with a buzzy imprimatur of novelty that makes it something to chase. People wanted thick crust, and have now been given license.

MC: Your argument is that in their hearts, people always wanted thick crust, but they were tricked into pursuing thin crust because they were told it was sophisticated?

MK: My argument is that thick crust is an indulgence, and there’s a simple satisfaction in it that is almost childlike. I get what you’re saying about complexity in the interplay of ingredients, but I don’t think it’s artisanal food education that makes people like it. It’s probably not nostalgia either—most here haven’t had Sicilian style before. But it’s a very visceral deliciousness you don’t have to think about very hard. It’s probably just a pendulum swing: The last national thick-pizza fad was Chicago, decades ago, when I merely heard rumors about New Haven pizza. This time when the pendulum swung thick, it hit in a different spot.

MC: I guess that’s a fair way to put it. To me, the interesting thing is that we’re diving deeper and exploring unfamiliar types of pizza. We’re getting more regional, which is awesome. There are so many American foodways that have not gotten attention. Maybe St. Louis pizza will be next!

MK: Dear lord, I hope not! I still have nightmares about Provel “cheese.”

PHOTO: RANCH PIZZA, HENRY CROMETT

GO: Pie Harder will offer up deep-dish pie slices from Baby Doll, Ex Novo, East Glisan, Pizza Jerk, Ranch and Via Chicago, plus sweet pie from Baker & Spice, Petunia’s Pies and Pastries, and Ecliptic. It will take place Tuesday, August 1, at Ecliptic Brewing, 825 N. Cook St., 503-265-8002, eclipticbrewing.com. 5-9 pm. $27. Tickets at bit.ly/Pieharder.

Fillmore Trattoria

Italian Home Cooking Tuesday–Saturday 5:30PM–10PM closed Sunday & Monday

SANTÉ is your community LGBTQ craft cocktail bar.

Female-owned and always supporting local artists and musicians.

1937 NW 23RD Place Portland, OR 97210

(971) 386-5935

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

MUSIC COURTESY OF XJ ELLIOTT

PROFILE

home sweet label: thor lindsay outside the house where t/K Records started in 1992.

The Man With the Golden Ears THOR LINDSAY HEARD PORTLAND’S FUTURE AND PUT IT ON RECORD.

BY M AT T H E W S I N G E R

msinger@wweek.com

One thing you could never take away from Thor Lindsay were his ears.

His body may have otherwise failed him—his lungs finally succumbed to years of abuse, and possibly overuse, on July 16, at the age of 59—but his ears he could always rely on.

They’re what allowed him to grow Tim/Kerr Records, the label he started out of his living room, into the most prominent Portland record label of the ’90s. And they’re what set the sound of the city for the next two decades.

He heard the pop potential in Everclear and the Dandy Warhols before anyone else, releasing the debut albums that would quickly get them called up to the majors.

At a time when every executive was searching for the mythical “next Nirvana,” Lindsay worked with the actual Nirvana to burnish the legacy of the Wipers, Portland’s greatest punk band. And when Kurt Cobain, at the height of his rock stardom, wanted to record a spoken-word noise record with William Burroughs, Lindsay was smart enough to put it out.

In between, there were more modest successes and outright failures, but no one ever questioned his taste.

Whatever else there is to say about him—and there’s plenty—Lindsay knew how to listen and make others excited about what he was hearing.

Of course, that’s only one part of keeping a successful label alive. When Tim/Kerr eventually crashed and burned in 1999, in many ways, Lindsay did, too. Even for those who knew him well, he became something of a ghost—floating in and out of the lives of his friends and family, haunting yard sales and Safeways and beer-league softball games. When he died last week, the local press hardly took notice.

But for the artists who owe him their careers, and the employees he inspired as much as he drove crazy, he’s remained impossible to forget, for his flaws and charms alike.

“He was a spaz,” says Dandy Warhols frontman Courtney Taylor-Taylor. “He was excitable, manic, had no impulse control whatsoever. But we all loved Thor. You couldn’t not.” ///

Almost from the moment he arrived in town, in the late 1970s, Lindsay displayed a determination to do something.

On the run from a rough home life back in Minnesota, where he grew up, he immediately asserted himself in the fledgling Portland punk scene, playing in bands, working at early clubs and selling records from his massive personal collection at shows. An unrelenting jabberjaw, with a mat of mussed dark hair and thick, black-framed glasses that gave him the look of a ’50s beat poet, Lindsay stood out as the resident goofball within a small circle of junkie nihilists.

“He wasn’t like some search-and-destroy guy, smashing bottles or falling around drunk,” says Jerry Lang, leader of bottle-smashing hardcore legends Poison Idea, who’d end up putting out several albums on Tim/Kerr. “Everybody has their whatever in the scene. There’s the Greg Sages, who were like the artists. Then you have, like I said, the Sid Vicious guys.

Then you have the Thor guys who were more collegiate, and know everything about every record. He was that guy.”

In 1978, before he was even old enough to drink, Lindsay confirmed his geek credentials by opening a record store, Singles Going Steady, in the tiny downtown storefront now occupied by Sizzle Pie. Stocked with the most cutting-edge inventory in the city, the store became a hub for the developing punk community—all 80 or so members of it. It was there where he met Tim Kerr, a fellow vinyl enthusiast flush with family money. Lindsay convinced Kerr to become a silent partner in the business, a role he apparently took literally: Always a recluse, Kerr never gave interviews, and in recent years has retreated to the point where no one seems to know how to get in touch with him.

After the store ran its course, closing in 1983, Lindsay needed another outlet for his fanaticism. An opportunity soon presented itself: Gus Van Sant, then perched between a career in film and music, was looking for someone to put out recordings he’d made with the poet William Burroughs. Sensing a niche waiting to be filled, Lindsay, again backed by Kerr’s financing, pivoted toward a label, then simply called T/K. “This was a time in Portland where there were a lot of bands and not a lot of labels,” says longtime friend Xj Elliott.

“So he saw that as a need in Portland, and being somewhat of a business-minded person, depending on how you look at it,

he thought this would be a good business opportunity.”

Operating out of his house on Southeast 15th Avenue and Powell Boulevard, T/K was, for the first few years, a side gig for Lindsay, who split his time between producing shows for Monqui and working for a pro-audio company. That changed swiftly in 1992, first with the release of the tribute set Eight Songs for Greg Sage and the Wipers. Spurred by Nirvana’s cover of “Return of the Rat,” the compilation piqued the attention of the industry, which was clamoring for anything involving Kurt Cobain. Having learned of the label’s history with Burroughs, Cobain then asked Lindsay if he could put him in touch with the poet. The resulting collaboration, a single titled “The ‘Priest’ They Called Him,” featuring Cobain’s gnarled guitar over Burroughs’ deadpan reading, became the best-selling item in the T/K catalog, and led to a deal with Geffen to reissue albums from some of their other acts, such as the Posies and the Raincoats.

With the increased exposure, the label opted to change its name to Tim/Kerr, to avoid a lawsuit from a defunct disco imprint, though that created other problems: Tim Kerr is also the name of a prominent Texas punk musician with Northwest ties, who campaigned, incessantly and unsuccessfully, to have the label change its name again. /// Suddenly, running Tim/Kerr became a full-time job.

While other Portland labels, like Cavity Search and Cravedog, popped up in the wake of the alt-rock boom, none had Tim/ Kerr’s, nor its eclecticism. In addition to cult favorites like Pere Ubu and the Bush Tetras, the label also worked with acoustic folk master John Fahey, experimental jazz keyboardist Wayne Horvitz and Seattle power-pop group Super Deluxe. After breaking Everclear and the Dandy Warhols, two of the most commercially successful acts to come out of Portland, Lindsay’s reputation as an expert talent scout spread throughout the industry. Billboard wrote that, with him at the helm, Tim/Kerr “appears poised to become a major player among the indie labels of the ’90s.”

Many assumed the label had to be thriving. But as the business expanded, moving into a legitimate office space on COnT. on page 33 Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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MUSIC = WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 26 Long Hallways, Three For Silver, Yeah Great Fine

[POST ROCK] Using a similar, yet more concise, sonic template as Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Long Hallways utilize an eclectic bricolage of dichotomous tones to deliver a cinematic tour de force begging to be utilized in scenes depicting medieval battles or tragic death scenes at the hands of zombies. Elise Wong’s somber, minor-key melodies tie the chaotic doom together into a symphonic cacophony pleasantly on the verge of imminent collapse.

CRIS LANKENAU. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

THURSDAY, JULY 27 Lubec, Husky Boys, Hot Sauces

[BASEMENT BOMBAST] Abduct four honor students who like pop punk. Lock them in your basement. Force them to listen to classic rock 24/7.

Make the quartet start a band. Name the band Husky Boys. Buy them some cheap recording gear. Make them record a tape called Extremely Loud and Incredibly Loud.

Giggle in glee as you listen to what your prisoners have done!

They have somehow turned your strange torture chamber into a zone of magic where punk scrappiness and strutting excess bond in beautiful ways. Now let them out of your basement. Buy them a very expensive recording studio.

They’re ready to make a weird and wild masterpiece. CHRIS STAMM. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 503-328-2865. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

FRIDAY, JULY 28 Alan Singley & Pants Machine, Colin Jenkins

[FRIENDSHIP AND SUNSHINE] If you want a sense of what Portland’s music scene was like a decade ago, you’ll find it in Alan Singley & Pants Machine. The 2006 Best New Band finalists are back after a six-year hiatus, but even after all this time, their upbeat, giddy tunes about burrito stands, good friends and sunny days are exactly what this city

TOP

5

FIVE REVELATIONS ABOUT SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND BY DON HENSON AND PAUL BRAINARD OF THE BILLY SHEARS ORCHESTRA Though the album is hailed as a landmark in rock music, it actually contains so many different genres— Even religious music, which is what “Within You Without You” really is.

2 I’ve been listening a lot to the remastered versions of these songs and it’s hard not to be amazed at all the little rough things that pop out in these versions— Cracked horn notes, out-of-tune background harmonies, guitar slip-up. But that’s not what we think of with these songs, just that they are masterpieces.

3 The claims that some songs are about drugs seems pretty much a media invention. There is a much more childlike quality to the so-called “drug songs” that I think keeps them timeless, i.e., “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds,” “Fixing a Hole,” “A Day in the Life.”

4 Another great thing to notice is how much sonic texture they were able to create with very few audio effects—mostly just the right compression and reverb.

Some songs are very lush, and then some are bone-dry.

It’s an entire compositional aspect of the album.

5 Ringo is so misunderstood.

SEE IT: The Billy Shears Orchestra plays Sgt. Pepper’s at Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., on Saturday, July 29. 5 and 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. Early show all ages, late show 21+.

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

Kap G, J.R. Donato, Priceless Da Roc, Paper Paulk, Cloud9 Krew

[SOUTHERN RAP] Kap G occupies a unique space in hip-hop. As a 22-year-old Latino, he’s built a dedicated following by remaining true to his identity. Hailing from College Park, Ga., Kap’s music is heavy with references to the Southside, digging deep into his experiences living in a predominantly African-American neighborhood. It’s inspired him to voice his frustrations on “La Policia,” a powerful political song about young minorities being mistreated by law enforcement, which led to a remix featuring outspoken activists T.I. and David Banner. Now, Kap G, whose been under Pharrell’s wing since signing to his i am OTHER label, has embraced his role as a pop rapper with edge, churning out club anthems like “CEO” and “Freakin ‘N’ Geekin” at a rapid pace. April’s SupaJefe might be his best work yet. ERIC DIEP. Peter’s Room at Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 8 pm. $15 general admission, $65 VIP meetand-greet. All ages.

Worriers, Typesetter, paper Thin Youth, Brave Hands

[POP PUNK] Worriers’ Imaginary Life was one of 2015’s best albums, a poppy punk document of political and personal upheaval that was equal parts rousing and wrenching. The Brooklyn band recently previewed their forthcoming SideOneDummy followup with “Future Me,” a midtempo anthem that would have been right at home on Imaginary Life.

There’s always been a hint of John K. Samson’s delicate method in Lauren Denitzio’s songwriting, and “Future Me,” a literary sketch of nostalgic longing and lonely drift, could go toe-to-toe with any of the Weakerthans’ lovely odes to getting lost. CHRIS STAMM. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-206-7439. 6 pm. $10. All ages.

Twilight Fest 2017

[PUNKIN’ METAL] Basically a heavier version of PDX Pop Now!, the Twilight Fest plucked nearly every punk, metal and hard-rock act in the city for three days’ worth of music. Friday night kicks things off with sets by the Stooges-esque punk of the Hot LZ’s and some fullfledged rock n’ roll from DCR3.

Latter Day Skanks and Exacerbators highlight Saturday’s daytime sets, while the Cry brings jangly power pop in the evening. Twilight Fest blows out on Sunday with the most metal acts in the festival, including brutal high schoolers Saola, who dish out some the best sludgy doom in town. Stoner quartet Troll will bring a little psych-metal flavor, while Ireshrine’s progressive black metal will shred into the night’s end. Twilight gets an A+ for this one. CERVANTE POPE. Twilight Cafe and Bar, 1420 SE Powell Blvd., 503-232-3576. 1 pm. Free during the day, $5 at night. All ages until 7 pm, 21+ after. Through July 30.

SATURDAY, JULY 29 Wheeler Walker Jr., Michael Dean Damron

[COCK COUNTRY] Taking a queue from Ween’s 1996 joke-country opus 12 Golden Country Hits, comedian Ben Hoffman adopted the persona Wheeler Walker Jr. to serve as a trojan horse for his shitkicker Kentuckian past that’s too lewd for the mainstream yet too prodigious to be written off as an outright joke.

It was clear Hoffman hit gold when

INTRODUCING C O U R T E S Y O F B A N D C A M P. C O M

needs right now. When an indie rock band can make you feel as good as a shameless Justin Bieber pop song, but with the lyrical specificity and enunciation of Pavement or Beulah—well, they must be doing something right. SOPHIA JUNE. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 503-328-2865. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Kulululu Who: Ku (vocals, guitar), Lu (guitar, vocals), Lu ( bass), Lu (drums), Lu (saxophone), Lu (trombone).

For Fans Of: Man Man, Gogol Bordello, Captain Beefheart.

Sounds Like: The house band for a Portland version of Yo Gabba Gabba.

Seated at a booth in B-Side Tavern, Kulululu’s frontman is trying to decide on a backstory. He’s already decided that he and his bandmates will remain anonymous for any and all things Kulululu, so real names are out. Ditto day jobs, personal histories and anything outright sad. If you can recall the time before every aspect of local culture had been mocked so extensively that Portland became a social experiment in city-wide solipsism, you might start to see exactly where Kulululu is coming from.

“There’s definitely a time and place to stand and listen and be really serious,” he says. “We take a different approach and just try to make people laugh, smile, move around.”

Here’s what we know for certain: The members of Kulululu are trained musicians from different parts of the country who all relocated to Portland separately but for the drummer and frontman— known as Ku and Lu, respectively. The term “Kulululu” is used by the band in an interchangeable elasticity. It’s a verb, a noun, a philosophy. If you ask them what it is they’ll tell you it could be anything. You might have Kulululu and not even know it. You might be Kulululu right now.

The conceptual details are really just an avenue for the musicians in the band to keep everything surrounding their music erratic, jovial and perpetually exciting. The humdrum details of life or promotion are only considered as forms to wrap a gleeful scream around.

“Our shows will start with a rampage of silly antics—running in from outside the venue, trying to get everyone’s attention with bells and whistles,” the band leader says. “We want to drag you in from the beginning so you can see every aspect of our performance.”

Without the benefit of spectacle, Kulululu’s debut album sounds more like a Southern California ska-punk outfit than anything their heavy conceptualized ethos might imply. Songs are short, fast and intentionally puerile. “My dad’s a crab and I call him crab dad” pretty much sums up the entirety of the lyrical content of two songs, “Crab Dad” and also “Crab Dad Again.” Another tune, ”Skateboard Song,” rattles off a long list of skateboard tricks that the author is unable to perform in a stoned repose of drowsy, melodic mumbles.

Whether or not Kulululu’s irreverence is enough to lure anyone not present at one of their gigs in what could likely be ascertained by how that person responds to the simplistic, boneheaded subject matter. But the band isn’t concerned so much with mass appeal as with attracting the exact kind of creative types they themselves are. It’s an ethos best described in their song, “We Are Kulululu”: “I am Kulululu/We are Kulululu.” CRIS LANKENAU. SEE IT: Kulululu plays Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8 NE Killingsworth St., with An Atomic Whirl and Plastic Cactus, on Saturday, July 29. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

CONT. on page 30 Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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COURTESY OF FOREFRONT MEDIA

MUSIC

man in black: Wheeler Walker, Jr. plays Dante’s on Saturday, July 29. his debut album, 2016’s Redneck Shit, debuted in the Top 10 of Billboard’s comedy and country charts, so it’s little surprise that this year’s follow-up, Ol’ Wheeler— featuring such tasteful tracks as “Pussy King” and “Finger Up My Butt”—finds Hoffman doubling down on the dirtbag bar-rocker ditties that may just be ridiculous enough to save country from itself once and for all. PETE COTTELL. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 866-777-8932. 9 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Blackalicious, Zion I, Randall Wyatt

[ALTERNATIVE RAP] Gift of Gab doesn’t get enough credit for his impeccable lyricism and blue-collar tales. In an age where Auto-Tuned flows mumbling over hard beats is the style du jour, the Bay Area icon has earned his rep as an underground technician who pushes positivity and an Afrocentric message with deft raps. When he links with producer Chief Xcel, they form Blackalicious,who recently reunited for Imani Vol. 1, their first album together in 10 years. The pair brings out the best in each other, combining slick rhythms and slicker rhymes into a smooth, head-nodding experience. ERIC DIEP. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 503-248-4700. 8 pm. $20.

All ages.

SUNDAY, JULY 30 George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic

[FUNK FATHER] An iconic performer whose definitive P-Funk sound helped lay the foundation for generations of instrumentalists and West Coast rappers, George Clinton, 76, was inducted into the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame two decades ago, and his grooves have never stopped. To this day, Parliament-Funkadelic, a massive conglomeration of extremely talented instrumentalists, put on a hell of a show. A body-moving symphony, the group offers audiences a hypnotizing, otherworldly experience only legendary aliens like Clinton are capable of orchestrating. PARKER HALL. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 503-225-0047. 8 pm. $32.50 advance, $35 day of show. 21+.

Ed Sheeran, James Blunt

[GINGERHEAD MAN] Ed Sheeran self-describes as a “singer, beatboxer and guitarist.” Ed Sheeran wrote the lyric “put your body on me.” Ed Sheeran is super-duper white and super-duper lame, even attempting that breathless white

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rapping thing invented by the Barenaked Ladies and perpetuated by George Watsky. We get it, he’s cute, and given his primary audience is 13-year-old girls, it’s lovely how positive and gentlemanly most of his songs are. But Sheeran does manage to embody every angle of popular music that can and should be maligned right now, from borderline appropriation to plain old flimsy, overwrought songwriting. ISABEL ZACHARIAS. Moda Center, 1 N Center St., 503-231-8771. 7:30 pm. $88-$235. All ages.

Taiwan Housing Project, Lithics, Miss Rayon

[NOISE ROCK] Taiwan Housing Project’s Kill Rock Stars debut, Veblen Death Mask, is nightmare music for people who fear the worst. The Philadelphia outfit, which features members of Little Claw, Harry Pussy and Tyvek, traffics in ominous noise rock salvaged from the Birthday Party’s Junkyard and Skin Graft Records’ early 2000s heyday. The bleating sax and thundering drums and squealing guitars simulate chaos, but Kilynn Lunsford’s chants and maledictions keep the proceedings tethered to sense and something like pop pleasure. Lumbering, beastly melodies emerge from the morass, and they are all the more haunting for having been through something that seems like hell.

CHRIS STAMM. The Know, 3728 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-473-8729. 8 pm. $9. 21+.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 1 Surf Curse, French Vanilla

[DIY SURF] It takes some imagination to turn the rocky bluffs of northern Nevada into beachy inspiration, but Surf Curse has done just that. The Reno twosome produces clean, lo-fi rock that’s precisely halfway between punk and shoegaze. In other words, Surf Curse’s sound is nonchalant and incredibly rhythmic, with the drums and guitar getting along so swimmingly they’re virtually interchangeable. The band’s latest album, Nothing Yet, is midsummer music as it should be—simple and satisfying. MARK STOCK. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 503-239-7639. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. All ages.

Echo & Bunnymen, Violent Femmes

[PREOCCUPIED WITH 1985] See Get Busy, page 23. Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Rd.. 6:30 pm.

Sold out. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Chamber Music Northwest: Woodwind Whirlwind

[CHAMBER JAZZ] For all the acclaim New York’s Imani Winds has received over the years for being one of the world’s finest wind ensembles, sometimes the band’s other accomplishments— their pioneering role in helping open classical music to African Americans and their wonderfully engaging audience outreach, for example—can overshadow the audience-friendly music written by two of the founders, flutist Valerie Coleman and hornist Jeff Scott. Now that they’re taking over from the Emerson Quartet as the Chamber Music Northwest 2017-18 Artists-in-Residence, we’re likely to hear more of their originals, like Scott’s “Of Good and Evil” for oboe and piano, featuring both the supple voice and instrument of Imani’s own Toyin Spellman-Diaz. This concert also includes Scott’s bluesy spiritual lament, “Homage to Duke,” a fantasy on the theme of Duke Ellington’s beautiful sacred song “Come Sunday” that uses plainchant, fugues and other “classical” techniques. The Ellington theme continues in Ducal Suite, an arrangement of several Duke masterpieces by Reed College prof David Schiff, who’s not only one of Oregon’s finest composers but also the author of one of the best Ellington books. BRETT CAMPBELL. Alberta Rose Theater, 3000 NE Alberta St., 503-7196055. 7:30 pm Wednesday, July 26. $10 ages 7-25, $30 general admission. All ages.

Social Music featuring Harvey Wainapel

[CLARINET COLLAB] San Franciscobased clarinetist-saxophonist Harvey Wainapel visits the City of Roses with axe in tow, joining local drummer and educator Alan Jones as part of his weekly Fremont Theater residency, Social Music. Known for his deep knowledge of both American jazz and traditional Brazilian music, Wainapel should bring a playful energy to Jones’ quartet, which is rounded out by bassist Jon Lakey and pianist David Goldblatt. Given the group’s collective understanding of complex rhythms, we expect each song to be positively dripping with groove—a fun one-off small group that is well worth the meager asking price at the door. PARKER HALL. Fremont Theater, 2393 NE Fremont Street, 503-946-1962. 8 pm Wednesday, July 26. $5. All ages.

Ryan Meagher & All Across the City: The Sound of Paul Desmond and Jim Hall

[WARM TONES] The soft and inviting saxophone tone of Paul Desmond is best known for its iconic place inside the melodies of pianist Dave Brubeck, but it also served as part of a surprisingly unsung early ’60s quartet featuring legendary guitarist Jim Hall. Tonight, superb local guitarist Ryan Meagher highlights this oft-forgotten partnership, pairing his supple tone with saxophonist Tim Wilcox in a jazz quartet that will highlight the classic collab, occasionally featuring a string section from the Metropolitan Youth Symphony. PARKER HALL. Lan Su Chinese Garden, 239 NW Everett St., 503-228-8131. 7 pm Tuesday, Aug. 1.

Sold out. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit

JESSE RIGGINS

PREVIEW

Waxahatchee, Cayetana, Snail Mail

[CONFESSIONAL GUITAR POP] Katie Crutchfield is tired of beating around the bush. The first words on Out in the Storm, her new record as Waxahatchee, lay the remains of a wasted relationship out to dry: “I spent all my time learning how to defeat you at your own game/It’s embarrassing,” she sings on “Never Been Wrong” with no hint of irony in her voice. The rest of Out in the Storm flies along the same path. It’s both a post-breakup record and the sound of a songwriter really coming into her own. The songs are bigger, brasher and more confrontational than anything she’s done before, filled with blistering guitars and searing revelations about Crutchfield’s old flames. Working with co-producer John Agnello, best known for his work with guitar heroes like Dinosaur Jr. and Sonic Youth, the album was mostly recorded live with a backing band including Katie’s twin sister, Allison, on keyboards and Sleater-Kinney touring guitarist Katie Harkin. The cleanedup sound does wonders for the band—you can still hear bits of Throwing Muses and the Spinanes in the mix, but the record comes off more like a spiritual cousin to labelmates Superchunk and their mix of confessional songwriting and buoyant guitar pop, especially on lead single “Silver.” Looking back on a breakup has rarely been so catchy and cathartic. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., wonderballroom.com, 503-284-8686.

8:30 pm Wednesday, July 26. $17. All ages.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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Artisan Pie Event

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CHARLES GULLUNG

MUSIC

DIET CIG: Lindsay in 1997.

CONT. from page 27

Southeast Hawthorne, with a dozen staff members on the payroll, Lindsay’s handle on the label’s finances slipped—if he ever had control of that part of the business at all. An anonymous source quoted by the Oregonian estimated Tim/Kerr had lost a quarter-million dollars by 1997. If Kerr’s money was a safety net, it was still made out of shoestrings.

“I mean, the whole thing was smoke and mirrors right from the get-go,” says music publicist Carl Hanni, a former T/K employee. “Thor was a hustler, in both senses of the term. He worked really hard at whatever he did. But he also had that Three-Card Monte aspect to him, too.”

Eventually, the illusion became unsustainable. A deal with Mercury Records, which would have given Tim/Kerr access to big-league distribution, fell apart in only seven months, the circumstances of which remain muddy. At that point, the bottom began to crumble. Employees left, and antipathy grew among the roster—especially after Lindsay bought a house while still owing many of them royalties.

Two years later, in 1999, the label shut down. Lindsay moved the remaining inventory into a storage facility. When he stopped paying rent on it, leftover T/K stock turned up in droves at the Goodwill bins out in Milwaukie. The Dandys ended up having to buy their masters back from the owner of a local record store. /// Some still wonder if Tim/Kerr’s undoing was malfeasance, stubbornness or some combination of both. Others believe that, for Lindsay, the label had simply become too big to succeed.

“I think he was overwhelmed by it,” says Kt Kincaid, who lived with Lindsay when he launched the label and worked there off and on until the end. “The same thing happened with Singles Going Steady. Once it got to a certain level, I don’t think he felt comfortable. It’s that thing where you want something, and you want to be good at it, but maybe you’re not really meant for it. Maybe you’re not meant for things to be that big.”

But if music-industry deals left him exhausted, his enthusiasm for music never dampened. Six months ago, Jerry Lang ran into Lindsay at a yard sale. Frail, bearded and in failing health, Lean didn’t recognize him at first. Then they got to talking about a compilation of Portland bands Lean was putting together.

“All of a sudden, he had this huge smile on his face, and I can tell it reignited that record thing in him again,” he says.

“It was like it reanimated him. It was almost scary, like he got shocked. It was really cool, to know he loved music that much, even at the end.”

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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MUSIC CALENDAR WED. JULy 26 Alberta Rose Theater 3000 NE Alberta St Chamber Music Northwest: Woodwind Whirlwind

Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Kendall Core, Daisy O’Connor, Margaret Gibson Wehr

Anarres Infoshop

7101 N Lombard St. Gunsafe, Rascal Miles, Sparkle Carpet

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St Cover Your Tracks, Righteous Vendetta

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St, Rooney, Run River North

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale An Evening with Diana Krall

Fremont Theater

2393 NE Fremont St. Social Music featuring Harvey Wainapel

Holocene

529 SW 4th Ave. Mel Brown B-3 Organ Group

The Fixin’ To

8218 N. Lombard St Holy Smokes & The Godforsaken Rollers, King Columbia, Anywhere West

529 SW 4th Ave., Killiam Shakespeare, Farnell Newton

3728 NE Sandy Blvd., Andy Cigarettes, Abronia, Alto!, The Social Stomach

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Long Hallways, Three For Silver, Yeah Great Fine

The Fixin’ To

8218 N. Lombard St Charlotte Bash, Mood Beach, Butter

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St The Green Room & R.B.T

The Know

3728 NE Sandy Blvd., ThirstyCity 3 Year Anniversary

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Wood & Wire, Ben Larsen

White Owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave East Arctic Flowers, Over, Fleshh, DJs Dark Entries & Beta Male

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St., Waxahatchee, Cayetana, Snail Mail

THU. JULy 27 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Plastic Shadow, Bone & Bell, Youngest of Elders, Keeper Keeper

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave., Lubec, Husky Boys, Hot Sauces

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Guttermouth

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd.

Jarren Benton

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Undergang, Necrot, Blood Freak and Petrification

TC O’Learys Pub

2926 NE Alberta St. Live Music Mondays

3341 SE Belmont St, Hot Lunch, Pushy, Donzis

The Firkin Tavern

The Secret Society

1937 SE 11th Ave Vanilla Coast, Slick Velveteens, Patrick Nehoda

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing featuring Doug & Dee’s Hot Lovin’ Jazz Babies, Stumptown Swing

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Monday Swing! Featuring The Juleps

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

Undergang, Necrot, Blood Freak, Petrification

Twilight Cafe and Bar

Town Center Park

FRI. JULy 28 225 SW Ash St Psyrup, Disenchanter, Stone Sky

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave., Alan Singley and the Pants Machine, Colin Jenkins

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Dad Works Hard, Right Lane Ends, The Broad Strokes

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Jacob Miller & The Bridge City Crooners

Fremont Theater

2393 NE Fremont Street Robin Bacior, Chris Staples, Leah Grams Johnson

Jack London Revue 529 SW 4th Ave. Sidewalk Chalk

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. All the Colors of the Dark# XXII: Quiet!, Moogwynd and Introvert

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. XDS, Genders, Donald Beaman, Máscaras

Moda Center

1 N Center Ct St, Neil Diamond

Roseland Theater

SUGAR WITHOUT SPICE: “This is my home,” Beth Ditto swooned before the sold-out crowd at Hawthorne Theatre on July 24. “I love you so much.” Unseen ’round local stages since 2011, tonight was a homecoming for our wandering Gossip frontwoman—joyous, though rather less raucous than expected. The absence of anything resembling her former group’s dynamic hung heavy throughout the evening. Weirdly, much of her new album Fake Sugar fell flat when heard live. Despite a chorus pleading, “Let’s get the rhythm of the head/Let’s get the rhythm of the feet,” recent single “Oo La La” failed to budge the dance floor. Comparisons to the old hits are as unfair as they are inevitable, but set against the solo debut’s oft-antiseptic glam, “Standing in the Way of Control” seemed a different beast entirely—raw, primal and notably lacking the give-and-take once enjoyed between the singer and her old Gossip-mates. There were hints of a diva turn well before current band members lined up on each side of La Ditto for a group bow like so many backup dancers. But, to her credit, she wears the tiara flawlessly. Her energy only seemed to rise as the night went on, punctuating the vocal pyrotechnics of closer “Heavy Cross” with a bout of frankly gymnastic pogos. Just maybe, the true superstar needn’t use a guitarist for stagecraft frisson when the audience itself aches to play willing foil. “I promise not to stay away for six more years,” she told the adoring crowd, traces of a grin brightening the drawl. “But, really, who knows.” JAY HORTON.

1937 SE 11th Ave Down Gown, Swim Swam Swum, Shrill Tones

The Fixin’ To

8218 N. Lombard St Mic Crenshaw presents Sirens Echo, Jana Losey, Omar Gomez, DJ Klavical

The Know

3728 NE Sandy Blvd, Strange Babes with Dommengang!

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Pete Krebs and his Portland Playboys

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Twilight Fest 2017

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St JT Wise Band; Janiva Magness

SAT. JULy 29 Aladdin Theater

Skyline Tavern

8031 NW Skyline Blvd Terry Robb

7101 N Lombard St. Absinthe Rose, Cuatl, Dogtooth & Nail

Star Theater

Ash Street Saloon

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Miss Fortune, Avoid; School of Rock; Worriers, Typesetter, Paper Thin Youth, Brave Hands

1420 SE Powell Sad Vegan, Tough Guy, The Sadists

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St July Global Folk Club

TUE. AUG. 1 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Dwight Church, Dwight Dickinson, The Desolate, Regulo Junior, Erik Anarchy and more...

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave., Teton, Heavy Petting, Clovver

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St, Delta Rae

Edgefield The Firkin Tavern

8 NW 6th Ave Kap G, J.R. Donato, Priceless Da Roc, Paper Paulk, Cloud9 Krew

13 NW 6th Ave., Through The Roots

2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Groovy Wallpaper with Rob Wynia (tasting room)

8105 Se 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

The Liquor Store

Ash Street Saloon

Edgefield

Muddy Rudder Public House

The Know

836 N Russell St Mic Check PDX

830 E Burnside St, Do503 Music Showcase: Rasheed Jamal, Blossom, I$$A, Epp

6800 NE MLK Ave Dead Tropics, Tunic (Canada), Bothers

2845 SE Stark St Swatkins

Holocene

Doug Fir Lounge

High Water Mark Lounge

The Goodfoot

White Eagle Saloon

Jack London Revue

LAST WEEK LIVE

Jack London Revue

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd.

Myles Parrish 1001 SE Morrison St., Do503 Presents: Dana Buoy, Ellis Pink, Holidae House

[JULY 26-AUG. 1]

1001 SE Morrison St., Lola Buzzkill, Bryson Cone, The Fur Coats

29230 SW Parkway Ct, Wilsonville, OR, 97070 Boyd Small’s All-Star Blues Showcase

Hawthorne Theatre

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

THOMAS TEAL

= WW Pick.

Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings.

Email: music@wweek.com.

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Led Zepagain

Anarres Infoshop

225 SW Ash St Load B, Monster’s Ink, Research and Development, Ugly Tarantino, AhhhLu Rare

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Wheeler Walker Jr., Michael Dean Damron

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St, 10,000 Maniacs

The Goodfoot

Ash Street Saloon

The Know

Crystal Ballroom

The Lovecraft Bar

Dante’s

Fremont Theater

2845 SE Stark St Jerry Garcia Birthday Celebration

High Water Mark Lounge

3728 NE Sandy Blvd., Nerve Beats, Sad Horse, Way Worse, Mr. Wrong

Kenton Club

421 SE Grand Ave, Body Shame, Dr. Burtrum, Data Tombs

2393 NE Fremont Street Molly Kate, Nathan Earle

6800 NE MLK Ave Levitation Room, Post Animal, Hollow Sidewalks 2025 N Kilpatrick St Benefit for Jonnycat: Sinister Six, Monica Nelson, Reverberations, Heels

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Billy Shears Orchestra Performs “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Rd. Brandi Carlile

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Chris Pureka

Slim’s PDX

8635 N Lombard St. High Five Danger, Nails Hide Metal, The Great Smoking Mirror

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave., Blackalicious, Zion I, Randall Wyatt

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St JPJQ Plus 2; Dirty Bourbon River Show, St. Cinder, The DiTrani Brothers

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

Triumvir Foul, Mortiferum, Cerebral Rot, Extraneous

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St Kulululu, An Atomic Whirl, Plastic Cactus

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell

Twilight Fest 2017

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Wesley Randolph Eader, Josh Harmony, Jordan Lovelis

yale Union

800 SE 10th Ave., SADAF

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Hunter, Libido Cornucopia

The Fixin’ To

8218 N. Lombard St The Lonesome Billies, Leo Romero

SUN. JULy 30 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St The Weird Kids, Dogger, Lotus Lynn

225 SW Ash St The Whiskey Dickers, Unite, Exkizofrenia 1332 W Burnside St George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic 350 W Burnside St. Elke Robitaille Band

Fremont Theater

2393 NE Fremont Street Bigfoot Mojo

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Spatia, Himiko Cloud, Volcanic Pinnacles, Design.

Drift.Distance

Moda Center

1 N Center Ct St, Ed Sheeran, James Blunt

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 Se 7th Ave. Dan & Fran

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Rd. Brandi Carlile

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 The Billy Shears Orchestra (roof deck)

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., J.O.A., Mighty Brother, No Mountain, Be Aviv

The Know

3728 NE Sandy Blvd., Taiwan Housing Project, Lithics, Miss Rayon

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Journey of the Heart: A Benefit Concert for Merry Heart Children’s Camp; Wes Swing + Joe Kye w/ Eleanor Murray

The O’Neil Public House

2126 SW Halsey St Troutdale Spud & the Snakeskinners (The Little Red Shed)

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd.

Why Don’t We

Holocene

6000 NE Glisan St. Sky in the Road

1001 SE Morrison St., Surf Curse, French Vanilla

The Secret Society

Jack London Revue

116 NE Russell St Ninkasi Pacific Rain Party ft. Small Souls

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Twilight Fest 2017

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Pjenks, Sam Fowels and Evan Gross; Joel Medina (Swenson)

MON. JULy 31 Adventureland Ballroom

2262 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd, Treasure Mammal (PHX) + Body Academics

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Elephant Gun Riot, Earth To Ashes

Catfish Lou’s

2460 NW 24th Avenue, Terry Robb

Corkscrew

1665 SE Bybee Blvd Portland Kora Project

529 SW 4th Ave., Farnell and Friends

Lan Su Chinese Garden 239 NW Everett St. 97209 Ryan Meagher & All Across the City: The Sound of Paul Desmond and Jim Hall

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. PJ Morton

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Rd. Echo & Bunnymen, Violent Femmes

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Bent Knee

The Ranger Station

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Bluegrass Tuesday

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Fools Rush DFMK Scumbucket Muscle Dungeon

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St TK Revolution Jam

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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MUSIC

of Portland’s hottest pizza & pie makers

COURTESY OF JUSTIN DREXLER

NEEDLE EXCHANGE

Baby Doll Pizza Via Chicago Ex Novo Ranch East Glisan Pizza Jerk

Ecliptic Petunia’s Pies & Pastries Baker & Spice

Justin Drexler

Years DJing: About 5 years, give or take. Started in college with some friends but did it more seriously afterward.

Genre: Deep house, tech house, house, techno—I try to find a way to play it in all in my sets.

Where you can catch me regularly: You can usually find me at Holocene or the Liquor Store in town. I also just started a new party called Ordinary Thing that’ll be bouncing between both of those venues.

Craziest gig: This past Electric Daisy Carnival, my friend Ryan Lassi had me come play a few tracks during his 3:30 am set on Sunday, and we packed a side stage out with 1,500 people while Paris Hilton danced in the crowd and her boyfriend ragepointed at both of us, even though we were playing absolutely zero mainstream music. I dropped a new Go Freek demo and someone caught a video with Paris dancing that they ended up using as promo for the track! Suffice to say, it was both totally awesome and completely bananas.

My go-to records: “Faya,” Not Usual; “The First Time,” Bontan; “Pump Up,” Detlef; “Not Enufff,” Format:B; “Menace II Society,” Mall Grab.

Don’t ever ask me to play…: Drake. However, absolutely ask me to play Will Smith, because I’ve done it before and it ruled.

Artisan Pie Pie Artisan Event Event

NEXT GIG: Justin Drexler spins at Jade Club, 315 SE 3rd Ave., with Darius and Evan Alexander, on Thursday, July 27. 10 pm. $10-$12.50. 21+.

Mad Hanna

6129 NE Fremont St Kitty McKlaine (80s synthpop, new wave)

Moloko

WED. JULY 26 Beech Street Parlor

August

5-9

1ST

Deep Dish Edition!

412 NE Beech Street Freeform Portland DJs

Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave, Wicked Wednesday (hip-hop)

Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave., Atom 13

PM

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. TRONix: Logical Aggression (electro)

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Musique Plastique DJs

The Embers Avenue

Tickets on sale now!

$27 A PORTION OF EACH TICKET BENEFITS VILLAGE GARDENS

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Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

100 NW Broadway, Knochen Tanz (ebm, industrial)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave, Event Horizon (darkwave, industrial)

The Paris Theatre

6 SW 3rd Ave, Chancellor Tre’ Presents; Mob Tactics

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

Death Throes (death rock, post punk, dark wave)

Valentines 232 SW Ankeny St Spurious Signals (synthpop, new wave)

THU. JULY 27 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave, Feed Me

Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech Street DJ Hell Books

Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave, Ladies Night (rap, r&b, club)

Jade Club 315 SE 3rd Ave, Darius

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Zero Wave Presents

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Benjamin (international disco, modern dad)

Quarterworld

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd Living on Video

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

DJ Daddy Issues

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave, Shadowplay (goth, industrial, 80s)

The Paris Theatre

6 SW 3rd Ave, Synergetic NW & Blue Sphere Collective Present: It Me

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Gran Ritmos

White Owl Social Club 1305 SE 8th Ave East Taken by Force (rock ‘n roll)

FRI. JULY 28 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave, 12th Planet

Where to drink this week.

1. Bailey’s Taproom

CARLEIGH OETH

BAR REVIEW

213 SW Broadway, 503-295-1004, baileystaproom.com.

Bailey’s slow-burn 10th anniversary celebration just got hot as shit, with daily beer events leading up to a big-ass 10th anniversary block party on Saturday, July 29.

Hell, yeah.

2. Revolution Hall Rooftop Deck

1300 SE Stark St., 503-288-3895, revolutionhall.com.

There’s nothing more posh than a rooftop bar—and this one’s finally open to the public, all the time.

3. Cat’s Paw Saloon

3565 SE Division St., 503-719-5189.

Why did it take so long for restaurant-heavy Division to get a solid serviceindustry hang, flush with big-time skater cred?

Dunno, but here it is.

Mon-Thur 11-9 Fri 11-midnight Sat 11-1am Sun 11-8 304 SW 2nd (& Oak) 971-242-8725

4. Les Caves

1719 NE Alberta St., 503-206-6852. ovumwines.com/les-caves.

So far an industry secret, Les Caves is a killer wine bar—with seriously rare and exotic local bottles— hidden in a 100-year-old wine cave beneath Aviary restaurant, owned by the craft winemakers of Ovum and Golden Cluster.

5. Widmer Beer Garden

929 N Russell St., 503-281-2437, widmerbrothers.com.

Widmer’s got a brandnew beer garden across from the Gasthaus—with guest food carts, $3 beers on Thursdays and cheap-ass Hefe cans every time a passing train toots its horn.

Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave, The Cave (rap, r&b, club)

NEW LEVEL: Have you ever heard of Argay? I hadn’t, though the deep East Portland neighborhood has more residents than Goose Hollow or Eastmoreland. That’s probably because Level Beer (5211 NE 148th Ave., 503-714-1222, levelbeer.com) is the first buzzy business the hood has had since, uh, ever. The property was formerly a produce market called The Barn, until being taken over by Geoff Phillips, owner of vaunted beer bar Bailey’s Taproom, alongside former Ex Novo brewer Jason Barbee and former Laurelwood brewer Shane Watterson. They’ve turned the barn-sized barn into a 20-barrel brewery with a cozy, stylish taproom. The greenhouse is now a huge covered patio large enough to house a game of ladderball. There’s no kitchen, but two food carts were onsite during our visit, including a barbecue cart serving up tacos with smoked brisket that paired well with a sunny day. Level is just now brewing its own beers, but the breweries tapped for collaboration beers are topnotch.

An ESB made with Laurelwood was the standout, finding a nice balance between biscuit and bitter, and coming in at just 4.5% ABV. Given the location in a far-out forgotten neighborhood, and the pleasantness of that patio, here’s hoping Level stays sessionable. MARTIN CIZMAR. The Lovecraft Bar

Crystal Ballroom

421 SE Grand Ave, Club Kai Kai (queer & drag night)

Dig A Pony

31 NW 1st Ave, No Vacancy Black & Gold Party feat. Prok & Fitch

Ground Kontrol

45 East

1332 W Burnside St 80s Video Dance Attack: Madonna!

736 SE Grand Ave., Cooky Parker (music for dancing) 511 NW Couch St. DJ Nate C. (anthem rock, hair metal)

Whiskey Bar

SAT. JULY 29 315 SE 3rd Ave, The Crystal Method

Beech Street Parlor

Holocene

412 NE Beech Street DDDJJJ666 & Magnolia Bouvier

Killingsworth Dynasty

Black Book

1001 SE Morrison St., Snap! 90s Dance Party 832 N Killingsworth St Twerk

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Monkeytek & Friends (records from the Jamaican regions of outer space)

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave The Get Down

The Goodfoot 2845 SE Stark St Soul Stew (funk, soul, disco)

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Spend The Night: Ivan Smagghe & Natural Magic

20 NW 3rd Ave, The Ruckus (rap, r&b, club)

Lay Low Tavern

6015 SE Powell Blvd., DJ Montel Spinozza

Quarterworld

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd ElecTRON

The Analog Cafe

MON. JULY 31 Dig A Pony

736 SE Grand Ave., Tre Slim & J. Green (80s synthpop)

Ground Kontrol

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., ANDAZ (bollywood)

511 NW Couch St. Reaganomix: DJ Rockit (80’s)

The Liquor Store

Sandy Hut

3341 SE Belmont St, B*Nice: Roska / Drexler

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave, DJ Tito Black

Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave, Ben Nicky

SUN. JULY 30

1430 NE Sandy Blvd.

DJ Andy Maximum

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave, Black Mass (goth, post-punk, new wave)

TUE. AUG. 1 Killingsworth Dynasty

Black Book

832 N Killingsworth St Dark Night

Dig A Pony

Star Theater

100 NW Broadway, Recycle (dark dance)

Eastburn

The Liquor Store

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St New Wave Video Dance Attack: Synthpop!

736 SE Grand Ave., Freaky Outty (floor fillers) 1800 E Burnside St, Soulsa! (merengue, salsa, cumbia)

20 NW 3rd Ave, Flux (rap, r&b, club) 13 NW 6th Ave., HIVE (goth, industrial) 3341 SE Belmont St, Love American Style

The Lovecraft Bar

Holocene

421 SE Grand Ave, DJ Syphillus (cookie cutter deep cuts)

Jade Club

White Owl Social Club

1001 SE Morrison St., Main Squeeze Dance Party 315 SE 3rd Ave, Oliver

1305 SE 8th Ave East Sunday’s Best

Classic Rock $6.49 during ‘Classic Rock Hour’ M-F 2-6pm LIVE Music EVERY FRIDAY 9pm-MIDNIGHT! Karaoke EVERY SATURDAY 9pm-1am

The Embers Avenue

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave, Sleepwalk (deathrock, gothrock, post-punk)

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd.

Toxic Tuesdays (goth, postpunk, spooky)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave., Tubesdays w/ DJ Jack

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

37

PERFORMANCE CASEY CAMPBELL PHOTOGRAPHY

REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Editor: SHANNON GORMLEY (sgormley@wweek.com).

TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: sgormley@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS The Difficulty of Crossing a Field and The Little Match Girl Passion

Part of the reason opera has a reputation for being stuffy is because it has a pretty rigid canon. It’s not exactly a prolific genre—there’s a relatively limited list of regularly performed operas, and new ones aren’t written that frequently. But modern opera is some of the weirdest shit out there, which is what makes Portland Opera’s double bill of David Lang short operas exciting. Along with Lang’s 2008 Pulitzer Prize-winning Hans Christian Andersen adaptation, The Little Match Girl Passion, Portland Opera will stage The Difficulty of Crossing a Field, which tells the story of a slave owner in 19th century America who vanishes while crossing a field. SHANNON GORMLEY. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, portlandopera.org. 7:30 pm Friday, July 28. 2 pm Sunday, July 30. 7:30 pm Thursday, August 3. 7:30 pm Saturday, August 5. $35-$200.

Twisted; The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier

Simultaneously a Disney spoof and Wicked reference, Twisted retells Aladdin through the perspective of the movie’s villain, Ja’far. The musical will be helmed by Funhouse Lounge, so maximum goofiness and camp is likely. SHANNON GORMLEY. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., funhouselounge.com. 7 pm Friday-Saturday, July 28-August 19. $15-$85.55.

JAW Festival

An acronym for Just Add Water, JAW Festival is Portland Center Stage’s annual festival of plays in progress. Each year, the theater selects a few playwrights that they creatively support as they write new scripts.

Now, the four playwrights’ scripts will be performed as staged readings.

Also on the lineup is a site-specific dance show in the theater’s lobby, artists’ workshops and a performance from arty clown duo A Little Bit Off. SHANNON GORMLEY. Portland Center Stage, 128 NW 11th Ave., pcs. org. July 28-30. See pcs.org for full schedule. Free.

ALSO PLAYING Così fan tutte

Così fan tutte opens with a man dressed as a monkey lounging on a red velvet couch. The immediate absurdism is wholly emblematic of director Christopher Mattaliano’s adaptation of Lorenzo Da Ponte’s 18th-century libretto, composed by Mozart. The plot is equally ridiculous. An older gentleman named Don Alfonso (Daniel Mobbs) overhears Ferrando (Aaron Short) and Guglielmo (Ryan Thorn) gushing over their girlfriends Fiordiligi and Dorabella (Antonia Tamer and Kate Farrar). Alfonso attempts to prove to the men that their partners aren’t faithful by having the men dress up in obscene outfits, pick up aliases and attempt to seduce the women.

What’s most striking about Così is its staunch juxtaposition of two time periods: the classic opera, with all Così’s characters draped in historical

38

garb, mixed with modern, playfully surreal twists. Characters eat Voodoo Doughnuts, and the set’s background–a gigantic projector screen– showcases pixelated close-ups of half-open mouths. Yet it’s the show’s actresses who are awarded the juiciest solos and comedic twists. For an 18th-century opera with a misogynistic AF title, Portland Opera’s Così fan tutte elevates its female performers with its colorful, surrealist tweaks.

JACK RUSHALL. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, portlandopera.org.

7:30 pm Saturday through July 29.

7:30 pm Thursday, July 20 and July 29. $35-$110.

Troilus and Cressida

Portland Actors Ensemble’s new production unfolds around a towering memorial at Lone Fir Cemetery. It’s a fittingly sepulchral setting for William Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida, a play defined by death, betrayal and characters who hunger for love they’ll never receive. Director Patrick Walsh has helmed plenty of successful productions of the Bard’s plays and was the co-artistic director of the Shakespeare-oriented Post5 Theatre’s last season. But this one is full of baffling conversations, a traumatically bleak conclusion and a sprawling ensemble that makes the two eponymous characters seem like afterthoughts. Still, the production has its spine-tingling moments—like during the battle that brings this Troilus and Cressida to a harrowing climax with a tornado of prop gunfire. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Lone Fir Cemetery, SE 26th Avenue and Stark Street, portlandactors.org. 7:00 pm Thursday-Saturday, through July 29.

Free.

DANCE Painted Sky Northstar Dance Company

Founded over two decades ago, Painted Sky Northstar Dance Company brings together the dance traditions and members of several different Native American tribes.

The organization emphasizes youth engagement and honoring Native American culture, and they’re performing an outdoor show free as part of Portland Parks’ summer concert series. SHANNON GORMLEY. Willamette Park, SW Macadam and Nebraska St., portlandoregon.gov/ parks. 6:30 pm Wednesday, July 26.

Free.

COMEDY The Cool Kids Patio Show

After a few weeks off, Doug Fir’s summer comedy series continues. Hosted by Andie Main out on the venue’s patio, the series features a solid lineup of Northwest standup comedians plus live music.

This week, it’ll be Portlander Ben Harkins and Seattle’s Natalie Holt.

They’ll be joined by Seattleite El Sanchez, whose very long comedy resume includes open spots for the likes of W. Kamau Bell and Michael Che. For their Portland visit alone, Sanchez will perform three shows in two days—along with Cool Kids, they’ll also perform at two other weekly showcases, You’re Welcome and Earthquake Hurricane. SHANNON GORMLEY. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, dougfirlounge.com. 6 pm Thursday, July 27. Free.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

CENTURIES CROSSED: Cassie Greer, Nicholas Granato.

East/West

A NEW PRODUCTION COMBINES ROMEO & JULIET WITH A PERSIAN EPIC POEM.

BY DA N A A LSTON

dalston@wweek.com

Shakespeare was kind of a rip-off—the Bard rarely came up with his own plots and instead lifted them from other sources. So for its production of Romeo & Juliet, theater company Bag&Baggage has combined Shakespeare’s script with Layla & Majnun, an epic poem from 12th century-Persia that’s theorized to be the source of Shakespeare’s plot.

Artistic director Scott Palmer spliced together dialogue from both scripts, alternating between Elizabethan English and translated Persian. Capulets become Romans, Montagues become Persians. The opening scene sees the titular Majnun (Nicholas Granato) lay out a rug and pray to Allah. Later, he discovers spirits at a spring in the middle of the desert, and the occasional musical clip is steeped in Eastern chords and melodies. Soldiers fight with small knives and scimitars instead of European blades.

The Bard’s plays are famously open-ended, but it’s still interesting to see a production with such a change in cultural backdrop. Making a war between Christianity and Islam the central conflict in the Western world’s most famous love story has plenty of political implications. The opportunity for effective social commentary is there, especially in a political climate marked with Islamophobia.

Palmer has staged his vision outdoors on the plaza of Hillsboro’s Civic Center. A giant canopy, draped over one of the center’s balconies, makes up a majority of the set, while the costuming recalls the Crusades—characters wear flowing robes and red crosses cover the surrounding lampposts.

It’s a visual treat, but the mashed-together script is a bit of a mixed bag. Several of the events

from Romeo & Juliet have been either changed or shortened in ways that mute the play ’s thematic resonance. The circumstances surrounding the titular couple’s demise have been significantly altered, presumably to be more in keeping with the Persian version of the story.

Romeo is not tricked into believing Juliet has died, for instance. Instead, his knowledge is equal to that of the audience, and the tragic irony that made the Bard’s play so powerful is all but gone.

Little of that fault falls upon the players.

Granato gives a highly physical performance—each desperate line comes with an equally despondent expression that turns Majnun’s love into a maniacal obsession. As Juliet/Layla, Arianne Jacques brings humor to the role’s usual angst.

Keeping the audience consistently entertained is a job that usually falls to Mercutio and Benvolio (here they’re Nawfal and Benvolio), and actors Colin Wood and Cassie Greer rise to the task. Their work keeps this slightly haphazard script from losing its audience completely.

But despite the seemingly radical premise, there’s little here that feels resonant. Usually the largest challenge surrounding Romeo & Juliet is making the couple’s immaturity universally relatable. Palmer instead focused his energy on combining two stories from different eras. He does so convincingly, but there seems to be less attention on the play’s emotional impact. Layla & Majnun is more an exercise in adaptation.

SEE IT: Romeo & Juliet/Layla & Majnun is at Hillsboro Civic Center, 150 E Main St., bagnbaggage.org. 7:30 p.m., Thursday-Saturday through August 5. $20.

BOOKS REVIEW

FINDER MILI TARY O W & SAL E MAGAZINE SH JULY 29-30, 2017 Feature at the Portland Gun & Knife Show:

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Military clothing, military vehicles & parts, field gear, radio gear, web gear, manuals, medals, insignia and other related items will be on display and for sale or trade.

Finder is Willamette Week’s annual guide to our city, featuring all things great in Portland. We’ll focus on the four quadrants in the Portland metro area broken down by neighborhoods. We’ll feature extensive business listings, places to dine, nightlife, arts, and the shopping that defines the City of Roses.

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collectorswest.com • Sat 9a-5p, Sun 10a-4p • Adm: $10

Deborah Kennedy,

BETH BEHLER

TORNADO WEATHER

At first blush, Tornado Weather (Flatiron Books, 306 pages, $24.99) seems like a classic mystery potboiler. Set in Colliersville, Indiana—the kind of crumbling, blue-collar town Stephen King liked to invent, filled with junkyards and long-deserted amusement parks—the book hits its flashpoint when 5-year-old Daisy Gonzalez disappears on her way home from school.

But it soon becomes clear that this debut novel by Forest Grove author (and former WW contributor) Deborah Kennedy, is much more than a thriller. It is the portrait of a decaying town wounded by tragedy, a Winesburg, Ohio of small-town grotesque delivered with the starkness of Dennis Lehane.

Each of the book’s 18 chapters is a vignette told by a different resident of Colliersville, each with a distinct style and voice. Each reveals a subtle clue about what happened to Daisy, while Daisy’s disappearance becomes a mirror that reveals the humanity—and the secrets—of the people lurking at the story’s fringes.

Gordy (alias: Ramon), a reporter from New York City working undercover at a dairy farm, must Kennedy hide his identity from his co-worker and lover Maria, who “doesn’t know who I really am and soon I’ll be dead to her and everyone else.” Shannon, the laundromat worker, has a relationship that’s like “trying to rebuild the same wave-ravaged sand castle over and over and over.” Willa, a transgender high school student, attempts to find peace within a town that refuses to accept her. The town’s latent racism flares up when the dairy-farm foreman fires his white employees in favor of cheap migrant labor.

In other hands, this could be soap opera, but Kennedy’s characters are real enough they seem to bead up from the page, even as they multiply beyond the reader’s ability to hold them all in memory. Two-thirds into the book, the large cast of characters and the switchback connections between them can become overwhelming. This is not a book to be read casually—it demands the reader’s undivided attention, and the pace can be slow. I found myself rereading sections and taking notes to keep it all straight.

Still, Tornado Weather is an ambitious, idiosyncratic triumph, its various strands wound together by the tragic mystery of Daisy at its core. It is darkness leavened by humor—as with the dairy workers who pretend they don’t speak English so they can eavesdrop on their boss. But the book’s greatest strength is the understanding that life’s most significant moments occur amid banality. You might feel a life fall apart while sorting the wash, or see another one disappear while rolling away from the school bus. EMILY COIT. GO: Deborah Kennedy reads at Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., powells.com on Monday, July 31. 7:30 pm. Free.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

39

THOMAS TEAL

MOVIES GET YOUR R E PS IN

Driller Killer

(1979)

For its midnight movie series, PSU’s student-run theater is screening the black comedy/ slasher flick about an artist who decides to channel his stress into a power-drill killing spree. 5th Avenue Cinema, July 29.

Blue Velvet

(1986)

Of all the cinematic attempts to highlight the creepiness of American suburbs, Blue Velvet is probably the most disturbing. It’s arguably David Lynch’s best film, and at the very least his most balanced but still idiosyncratic: Blue Velvet is harrowing, eccentric and understated. NW Film Center, July 28-29.

MIKE CLARK AT MOVIE MADNESS.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

It’s not that The Night of the Living Dead is a particularly rare find, but repertory screenings are the most fun when they’re full of fellow rabid fans.

And since the mother of all zombie movies is playing as part of nerdy Tigard theater Joy Cinema’s free Weird Wednesdays, the screening will likely be full of pro-zombie movie good vibes. Joy Cinema, July 26.

Get Physical HOW AND WHY PORTLAND’S INDEPENDENT VIDEO STORES ARE STILL ALIVE.

Veneno para las Hadas (1984)

The title for Carlos Enrique Taboada’s film roughly translates to “poison for the fairies,” and like most things involving both black magic and children, it’s beautifully surreal and highly creepy. Veneno para las Hadas tells the story of two girls whose casual witchcraft hobby spirals way out of control. Clinton Street Theater, July 26.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

A few days before the second miniseries revival goes up on Netflix, you can catch David Wain’s original, hilarious sendup of ’80s camp comedies on the big screen for free.

Clinton Street Theater, July 31.

ALSO PLAYING: 5th Avenue Cinema: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988), July 28-30. Academy: Shrek (2001), July 26-27. Jurassic Park (1993), July 28-August 3. Hollywood: Book of Life (2014), July 29. NW Film Center: Le Jour Se Lève (1939), July 29. Rear Window (1954), July 31. Mission: Raising Arizona (1987), July 29-30. Wayne’s World (1992), July 29-31. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), August 1-4.

Kiggins: Harry Potter, the entire series (2001-2011), July 29-July 31. Laurelhurst: Night of the Living Dead (1968), July 26-27. Moonstruck (1987), July 26-27. Red Rock West (1993), July 28-August 3.

40

BY DANA ALSTO N

dalston@wweek.com

Few monuments of American culture have faded as quickly as the video store. Yet a smattering of independent video stores still call the Portland area home. We spoke to four owners with locations in and around the city to find out how and why they’re keeping their stores afloat in a world run by streaming.

CLINTON STREET VIDEO

2501 SE Clinton St., 503-236-9030

BEST SERVICE

Chris Slusarenko is just about the most helpful guy you can find behind a counter. The singer and guitarist for Eyelids worked at NW Film Center before he decided to “do something different” in 1996. The result is a charming store on Clinton Street. It’s a small space and doesn’t have a particularly large selection; most of their DVDs are stored in small plastic cases behind the counter. But the service—courtesy of Slusarenko and three other employees—is top-notch. Recommending movies makes up a majority of their job, and our visit proved that that’s harder than it sounds. One customer simply asked for a movie to “match his mood.” He walked away with a bizarre combo of Robocop and Hacksaw Ridge. “A lot of people still don’t know what they’re going to discover when they come in,” Slusarenko says. But helping people discover movies is a passion of his that won’t fade anytime soon. “I’m gonna do this until people tell me I can’t do it anymore,” he says.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

GREAT AMERICAN VIDEO & ESPRESSO

BEST PRICES

6130 SE King Rd., Milwaukie, 503-653-2680 Maybe this goes without saying, but running a video-rental store isn’t exactly a high-profit venture. This Milwaukie-based location has made the best of an uncertain era by selling coffee and ice cream. “I’m surprised other video stores are alive that don’t have secondary businesses,” says owner Kent McCarty, 47. He bought the place in ’88 and added coffee eight years later. Now, customers can rent movies while enjoying a $3 latte. A family business run by McCarty and his wife and daughters, Great American also has the best prices of the stores we visited. It has a wide selection of titles, geeky memorabilia lining the glass counters at the front of the store and a kids’ play area with toys and colorful carpet. It all contributes to McCarty’s “business of fun.”

“I’m the Willy Wonka of video stores,” he says with a smirk.

MOVIE MADNESS VIDEO

4320 SE Belmont St., 503-234-4363

BEST VIDEO STORE

Movie Madness founder Mike Clark is quick to quote P.T. Barnum when asked about his store’s legacy. “Barnum said one time this his was “The Greatest Show on Earth,’” he says. “Well, this is the Greatest Video Store on Earth.” In addition to being a circus, the place is also a museum. In addition to housing thousands of titles—organized by director, genre and characteristics like “dead

teens”—Madness displays old props and costumes from popular movies. A bar of soap that Brad Pitt held in fight club sits in a glass case, while an Alien facehugger model lies nearby. Clark says the memorabilia is what keeps the location special, but the catalog is so deep that it’s possible to find practically any film. A highlight: a copy of Cowboy Bebop, with a notice on the DVD case that explains that the nonsensical subtitles inexplicably change languages. It’s unclear whether cuts that deep have an audience, but that’s not stopping Clark .“It warms my heart,” he says about running a rental store. “It makes me very proud.”

IMPULSE VIDEO

BEST THROWBACK

6356 SW Capitol Hwy., 503-245-8351

Universal Video —originally opened in 1993— faced imminent doom before Karen Schnoll stepped in. Schnoll was a regular customer before buying the location in 2014. “I just thought it would be sad to see it go under,” she says. “So I said, ‘Why not?’” Now, Schnoll says her store— rechristened Impulse Video—has survived the streaming era thanks to its location along Capitol Highway. “I’m not sure we would survive if we were anywhere else,” she says. It’s a small venue, but its simple interior is just as much a blast from the past as the others—anyone who remembers their local Blockbuster will feel at home here.

Impulse also houses the largest collection of VHS tapes we found; every store we visited sold theirs during the mid-2000s. “We’ll be a museum in 10 years,” Schnoll admits.

: This movie sucks, don’t watch it. : This movie is entertaining but flawed. : This movie is good. We recommend you watch it. : This movie is excellent, one of the best of the year.

NOW PLAYING Lady Macbeth

Picture a proper BBC costume drama spiced up with sex and blood, and you should be able to imagine Lady Macbeth. Adapted from a Nikolai Leskov novella, it’s a sinister slow burner that unfolds in rural England in 1865 and tracks a stifled wife’s transformation into a serial killer. That wife is Katherine (Florence Pugh), who viciously retaliates against the fearsome abuses of her husband (Paul Hilton) and her fatherin-law (Christopher Fairbank), two men so repugnant that you get a savage kick out of their suffering. Yet despite director William Oldroyd’s vengeful flair and admirable exploration of the tale’s racial fissures—the scenes where Anna (Naomi Ackie), a black servant, is bullied into taking the fall for Katherine’s indiscretions leave a nauseating sting— Lady Macbeth is memorable mainly for attempting to drown its audience in misery. The film has a punishingly bleak conclusion and an exploitative scene involving a young boy. It’s not clear if those scenes were included simply to showcase Oldroyd’s toughness, but in any case, they reveal what many moviegoers will guess: that the director has mistaken brutality for brilliance and sadism for art. R. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Living Room.

STILL SHOWING 47 Meters Down

In this shark thriller, a recently dumped Lisa (Mandy Moore) thinks an Instagram post during a trip to Mexico will get her boyfriend back. That gives you a pretty solid idea of the movie’s depth. Still, those seeking the heart-pumping adrenaline of a summer shark flick won’t be disappointed. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Clackamas, Division, Vancouver.

A Ghost Story

A glimpse at the promotional poster for A Ghost Story—Casey Affleck, clad in a white sheet with eye holes— suggests creepy horror. But there’s little that’s frightening in David Lowry’s emotional exercise in magical realism.

Instead, we’re treated to fine performances from Affleck and critical darling Rooney Mara in a time-hopping story about a ghost and the house where he lived. Affleck really is behind that sheet, haunting his suburban home after his character dies in a car accident. His wife (Mara) moves through the house and tries to move on from the loss over days and weeks. Time moves quickly. We get glimpses of a 19th-century prairie and a futuristic cityscape. It’s introspective and head-scratching, thanks in part to a haunting soundtrack from solo violinist David Hart. Comparisons to Spike Jonze’s equally conceptual Her are somewhat apt. But Ghost Story is much more supernatural. Lowry has a welldeveloped eye for inventive storytelling thanks to his background in micro-budget shorts. His vision is on full display here, and the result is one of 2017’s most powerful films. R. DANA ALSTON. Cinema 21.

Alien: Covenant

Casting Danny McBride as the alien was a ballsy gamble that paid off. Sadly, nothing else in Ridley Scott’s frenetic follow-up to the underrated Prometheus comes together as it should. R. Academy, Empirical, Jubitz, Laurelhurst, Valley Cinema Pub, Vancouver.

Baby Driver

Cars 3

Cars 3 is a tribute to the bonds shared by teachers and students, albeit with a slapstick demolition derby scene dominated by a comically sinister school bus. Yet it’s Pixar’s gift for imbuing inanimate objects with humanity that makes you care when Cruz and Lightning lean into the curves. G. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Oak Grove.

It takes a scant five minutes for Baby Driver to feel like one of the best car-chase films of all time. Director Edgar Wright’s first film since Scott Pilgrim vs. the World kicks off with a stellar getaway through the streets of Atlanta set to Jon Spencer Blues Explosion’s “Bellbottoms.” Somehow, though, Wright manages to top that scene throughout, culminating in a frantic, mesmerizing and utterly joyful 45-minute finale. At the wheel is Baby (Ansel Elgort, whose face really sells the “Baby” business), who combats his tinnitus by constantly pumping tunes through his earbuds. Every sequence plays out perfectly to the music in Baby’s ears, whether it’s the rat-a-tat of gunfire punctuating the snare on an old funk track or clashing metal with the cymbal smashes on classic-rock oddities. This is a movie where violence and velocity are played up to surrealist levels while remaining relatively grounded in reality. It’s hysterically funny, but not a straight comedy. It’s often touching, but seldom cloying. It’s the hyper-stylish car chase opera the world deserves.

R. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cinemagic Theatre, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Hollywood, Tigard, Vancouver

Despicable Me 3

Baywatch

There are plenty of bombs and rifle-fire and bulletholes and casualties, but for a war movie, there is very little actual fighting that goes on in Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk. When the film opens, we’re immediately dropped into the abandoned beachside town of Dunkirk, France, where bullets are whizzing at dehydrated soldiers and propaganda fliers are raining down. The idea that our protagonist, the English war machine, could face down the Germans and triumph in a conventional battle is ludicrous. The only sliver of hope is evacuation. So, evacuate to where?

The grunts are sitting ducks for dive bombers on the beach, and beyond that is miles of sea where enemy planes standby to strafe and U-boats lurk sharklike below the surface. You may have noticed I’ve said nothing of the characters in this film. That’s because there aren’t any, really. We do get to follow a few soldiers and pilots and civilians at sea, but they’re more like stand-ins for the other 400,000 like them marooned on the beach or assisting in the rescue effort. That’s fine, though. This movie doesn’t really need characters, and wasting time on distracting details like what’s waiting at home for these boys would only slow down the headlong pacing of the operation, which is one of the film’s major successes. The star of the show is cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema, whose serene photography provides a necessary counterbalance to the breathless editing. I don’t think this film will win Best Picture at next year’s Oscars, but it’s a shoo-in a handful of technical nominations. PG-13.

R. MITCHELL MILLER. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Hollywood, Lloyd, St. Johns Twin Cinema & Pub, Tigard, Vancouver

I am pleased to report that this movie is exactly as unnecessary and idiotic as you think it is. R. Vancouver.

The Beguiled

Sofia Coppola’s Civil War-era tale of amorousness and limb-severing vengeance has a beautifully haunting opening: a scene where a young girl (Oona Laurence) happens upon the wounded Union soldier John McBurney (Colin Farrell). With its aura of quiet menace, that moment sets the style for the movie, which follows McBurney back to a Southern all-girls seminary, where his hosts (including Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst and Elle Fanning) both vie for his affections and subject him to ghastly torment.

Coppola—who adapted the film from a Thomas Cullinan novel—may have packed the movie with intimations of repressed rage and sexuality, but she suffocates The Beguiled with monotonously pretty scenery and the tiresome spectacle of awful people doing awful things to other awful people. Only rarely does the film flicker with emotional life, which usually happens when the effortlessly charismatic McBurney is onscreen.

He declares that he’s “easily amused,” which begs the question: Why doesn’t Coppola try amusing us for a change?

R. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. FERGUSON. City Center, Hollywood, Living Room Theaters.

Beauty and the Beast

Did we need this remake? Probably not. Is is pretty good? Yes. PG. Vancouver

The Boss Baby

Somehow, this movie isn’t a terrifying monstrosity. PG. Empirical, Vancouver.

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

Giddy satire gives way to lazy bombast in this animated adaptation of Dav Pilkey’s children’s book series, which has too much of its titular underdressed superhero and too little of its prankster protagonists, two elementary schoolers (voiced by Kevin Hart and Thomas Middleditch) at war with the tyrannical Principal Krupp (Ed Helms).

PG. Academy, Avalon, Joy, Vancouver.

Conventional Hollywood wisdom dictates that animated children’s movies must vigorously trumpet the merits of kindness (good!) and condemn the evils of selfishness (bad!). Yet that memo clearly hasn’t reached the makers of this anarchic entry in the Despicable Me franchise, in which the bulbous, reformed supervillain Gru (voiced by Steve Carell) finds his lust for mischief is stoked by his twin brother, a cheerful moron named Dru (also Carell). Among their adventures is a tussle with the mullet-sporting master criminal Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker) that allows for plenty of delightfully nonsensical scenes, including a dance-off that features Gru and Balthazar busting moves to Madonna’s “Into the Groove.” Like the film itself, that scene eschews forced wholesomeness and delivers a truckload of dumb fun—which, in an age when even witless entertainments like The Mummy arrive swollen with pomposity, is a minor miracle. PG. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Get Out

Yes, this movie is as good as everyone says it is, enough so that it makes you ask why other horror movies aren’t better. R. Laurelhurst.

band of charismatic assholes anywhere at this point. PG-13. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Eastport, Fox Tower, Joy, Jubitz, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Tigard, Valley Cinema Pub.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

The Lego Batman Movie

When the first Guardians debuted, its irreverent, hilarious, bizarro tone came out of nowhere, making audiences fall in love with Marvel’s D-list heroes at the confluence of Star Wars, The Ice Pirates and Buckaroo Banzai.

Vol. 2 isn’t the jolt that the first one was, but between all the action and its surprisingly poignant finale, it’s a welcome addition. We’d follow this

Fast, funny and pleasingly drunk on the joys of mockery, The Lego Batman Movie is as fun as the 2014 original but stars Will Arnett as a petulant, preening goofball who rocks out on an electric guitar and showers orphans with cool toys from a merch gun. PG. Clackamas, Vancouver.

CONT. on page 42

REVIEW C O U R T E S Y O F S ATO R I F I L M S

Editor: WALKER MACMURDO. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: wmacmurdo@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

Dunkirk

Everything, Everything

This young adult movie about a girl (Amandla Stenberg) who lives in a bubble is just as devoid of logic, storytelling or disability rights as it sounds like it is. PG-13. Vancouver.

The Fate of the Furious

Sadly, Paul Walker was the key ingredient missing in the eighth iteration of the Fast and the Furious franchise. At least there’s still a bunch of cool explosions and shit. PG-13. Vancouver.

RISE ABOVE: Adan Jodorowsky.

Life in the Vivid Dream

In one of the freakiest scenes in Alejandro Jodorowsky’s autobiographical Endless Poetry, two robbers receive a vicious beating. They’ve just tried to steal from a store in Chile run by the deranged, mustachioed Jaime (Brontis Jodorowsky, the director’s son). Rather than bother to alert the police, Jaime repeatedly kicks one thief, tears off the other’s clothes and insists that his son Alejandro (Jeremias Herskovits) join him in administering his barbaric brand of “justice.”

It’s the kind of scene that could make you squirm and retch. Yet even in its grimmest moments, Endless Poetry is delightful. By combining hallucinogenic images with joyously hyperbolic performances, Jodorowsky has made a film that is not only blackly funny, but above all, beautiful in its fearless embrace of the bizarre.

Centered in the film’s whirl of strangeness is Alejandro, a budding poet growing up in the 1940s. The film recounts parts of his traumatic childhood, but Endless Poetry mostly focuses on his early adulthood, when he’s played by Adan Jodorowsky (another son of the director) and enjoys a turbulent romance with a fellow poet named Stella (in an Oedipal twist, she’s played by Pamela Flores, who also plays Alejandro’s mother).

Endless Poetry is also about Alejandro’s coming of age. The bones of that story—friendship, family mayhem, rivalry—echo biopics like Walk the Line. He may be treading familiar ground, but Jodorowsky’s fusion of wit and weirdness makes it irresistible. Alejandro’s mother literally sings dialogue like an opera star, masked figures lurk in scenes like ghostly stagehands and Jaime’s explosions of rage are so exaggerated that they’re both horrifying and hilarious.

As Jaime, Brontis Jodorowsky gives the film’s fiercest, wittiest performance, and you can feel the story’s momentum sag whenever he’s off-screen. Yet whether Endless Poetry is chronicling Alejandro’s entertainingly ill-fated stint as a political protester or indulging in an unusually clever fart joke, it seizes your attention like a flamboyant ringmaster presiding over a circus that, despite being baffling, is a joy to behold.

BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Jodorowsky’s autobiographical film is fearlessly bizarre.

SEE IT: Endless Poetry opens Friday, July 28, at the Hollywood Theatre.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

41

MOVIES C O U R T E S Y O F S O N Y P I C T U R E S E N T E R TA I N M E N T

#wweek #wweek

C I S U M

BABY DRIVER

The Lost City of Z

This supremely entertaining tale of exploration and obsession unfolds in the early years of the 20th century to chronicle the storied search of Percy Fawcett (Charlie Hunnam) for an ancient city he believes lies hidden deep within the Amazon. With a buildup of suspense that would have made Hitchcock crack a sinister smile, and intoxicating images—men hacking their way through foliage with machetes, ramshackle boats floating toward elusive destinations—from director James Gray (Two Lovers), the movie hypnotizes completely. PG-13. Academy.

Maudie

In this biopic of Canadian folk visualist Maud Lewis, Sally Hawkins embodies the mid-20th century painter with incredible resilience.

The whimsy Maud pours into her colorful landscapes is a tonic to her painful relationship with her husband Everett (Ethan Hawke) and her severe arthritis. Maud meets Everett when, looking for an escape from living with her Aunt Ida (Gabrielle Rose), she signs up to work as his housekeeper.

Hawkins’ portrayal of resisting physical decay is deeply touching, and Hawke, one of Hollywood’s most prolific emoters, exercises ultimate restraint as Everett, breaking his wife’s heart as a grumbling, nearly unreachable soul. As a couple, they’re “like a pair of odd socks,” Maud waxes in one of the film’s most touching moments. It’s a moment to relish, because hardship is far more common in their remote Nova Scotia cottage—the one Maud gradually turns into a four-walled canvas, illustrating petals and birds on every surface.

It’s not that Maudie wastes these two remarkable performances, they’re just the only two hues on its palette. Otherwise, it’s a paintby-numbers biography that resets constantly and clunkily with folk arpeggiating, and never really digs for Lewis’ deeper character or philosophies in its script. Who knows what made her great, the film says, but her essence was innately good.

PG-13. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Kiggins.

My Cousin Rachel

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Spooky, sexy and gleefully menacing, this fresh rendition of Daphne du Maurier’s novel is a terrific showcase for its stars, Sam Claflin as dunderhead lord of a coastal estate in Victorian-era England who seeks vengeance against the cousin of title, and said cousin (Rachel Weisz), whose masterful performance blends anguish, toughness and terrifying rage.

PG-13. Academy, Laurelhurst.

The Mummy

The Mummy is a bunch of haphazard action sequences hastily constructed a one-sided romance between an Egyptian zombie princess (Sofia Boutella) and Tom Cruise’s goofy daredevil Nick Morton. Still, it’s almost wondrous in its stupidity. PG-13. BENNETT CAMPBELL. Avalon, Joy, Kennedy School, Valley Cinema Pub, Vancouver.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Ahoy, matey! Johnny Depp is washed! PG-13. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Kennedy School.

Rough Night

In Lucia Aniello’s first feature film about millennial women behaving badly, five college friends reunite for Jess’s (Scarlett Johansson) bachelorette weekend in Miami. The cast is packed with America’s stoner, foul-mouthed sweethearts, including Ilana Glazer from Broad City, Jillian Bell (Workaholics), SNL’s Kate McKinnon and Zoë Kravitz. Rough Night doesn’t revolutionize wild weekend movies, but it’s a smart skewering of the bro’d out black comedies that have dominated the R-rated genre. R. LAUREN TERRY. Vancouver.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

The second reboot in a cinematic series that’s merely 15 years old is as interesting for what it leaves out as for what it tackles.

There’s no damsel in constant distress. No revisiting the murder of Uncle Ben or a radioactive spider bite. Hell, there’s not even a worldthreatening conflict. Instead, director Jon Watts takes Spidey’s first solo outing in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and puts him up against something far more daunting: high school. Sure, Peter Parker (Tom Holland, returning after a star-making turn in Civil War) has to face off against Michael Keaton’s snarling winged menace Vulture. But he also has to find a date to homecoming, train for the academic decathlon and deflect bullies, all while learning to control his newfound superpowers under the tutelage of Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.). As such, Homecoming is as indebted to John Hughes as it is to Stan Lee. There are some excellent, showstopping action sequences sprinkled across the runtime, but Homecoming takes greater pleasure in watching the gawky Holland’s trial-and-error as he navigates his sophomore year.

It’s a sunny, breezy comic-book romp of little consequence. In an age of glowering caped crusaders, Homecoming reminds us that we should be having fun watching men

in tights smack into walls. PG-13.

AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Twin Cinema & Pub, Tigard, Vancouver.

War for the Planet of the Apes

The third installment in the new Apes saga is designed like a classic Hollywood combat epic. Marred by irredeemable, indistinct human characters, War feels every bit the technological achievement of Dawn without the inter-primate intrigue.

It’s operatic, very long and intentionally little fun. The stakes are cataclysmic enough to end this franchise, though they probably won’t. PG-13. CHANCE SOLEMPFEIFER. Bagdad, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Roseway, St. Johns Pub and Theater, Tigard, Vancouver.

Wish Upon

Newton’s third law of wishes states that for every wish granted by a numinous foreign artifact or spiteful djinn, an equal and opposite blood debt must be repaid.

Basic physics aside, Wish Upon is the story of unpopular high schooler Clare Shannon (Joey King), who is haunted by memories of witnessing her mother’s hanging suicide when she was a child. Her father, Jonathan (Ryan Phillippe), tries to be a doting father and surprises her by gifting her a scarylooking antique Chinese music box.

Clare comes to learn that the music box is not actually very useful if you just want to hear a little ditty, but it does purport to grant its owner seven wishes. Ignorant of the strings that usually come attached to such things, she begins making wishes. Wish Upon doesn’t offer anything new to the “be careful what you wish for” trope, but there are a generous handful of tense moments and amusing bits of dialogue. R. R. MITCHELL MILLER. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Wonder Woman

I never thought I’d get a lump in my throat watching a superhero movie, but here we are. Patty Jenkins’ telling of Diana Prince’s (Gal Gadot) WWI origin deftly balances action, romance, comedy and emotional heft like no other in genre has. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

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end roll

NOT ACTUAL FOOTAGE

Cuckoo for Cacao SENATOR CHUCK SCHUMER WANTS TO OUTLAW SNORTABLE CHOCOLATE. SO WE SNORTED SOME CHOCOLATE.

BY M AT T H E W KO R FH AGE mko r fhag e@wweek.co m

Moctezuma’s gold wasn’t gold. It was chocolate.

The Aztec king was a hoarder of cacao beans, as it turned out, with a royal stash totaling 9,000 tons. The beans, back in the day, were the most common form of currency—so only the rich would actually be decadent enough to roast and drink them. He drank cacao with the best of them: Moctezuma downed, we’re told, 50 golden goblets of the cacahuatl each and every day.

Turns out Moctezuma might’ve just been the 16thcentury version of a New World coke addict. He was really into the brown stuff.

I can relate. I’m high on chocolate right now.

After melting an ounce of pure “Heirloom Belize” cacao from California’s Firefly Chocolate into a mug of hot water, the skin of my arms tingles with dilated blood vessels, and my hairs stand on end with whatever’s the opposite of horripilation. My sinuses feel oddly warm.

I have not partaken in the multi-part chocolate ceremony Firefly’s founder, Jonas Ketterle, recommends— it begins with “gratitude” and a lot of deep breaths.

But while I didn’t find my “sacred grief” the same way Ketterle did, I’m willing to believe that I have been filled with energy that helps me “go into the day with the courage, creativity and heart to offer my gifts.”

Do you even Leviosa, bro?

HE RM I ON E GR ANGE R ( 1 1 - 1 5 ) : Your knowledge of Potterdom is unmatched; you are steeped in wizarding lore and insufferable to your friends. Those who earn this score are true fans of Harry Potter.

ACTUAL FOOTAGE, WAAAY SKETCHIER.

Somehow, chocolate has become the new party drug of the self-consciously enlightened. Go to a Berlin dance night called Lucid and you’ll find 200 people sitting down for a chocolate ceremony—packing in their natural high before they rave till dawn.

For years, the club kids in Europe have been snorting the soft stuff: a mint-spiked chocolate powder with an oddly complicated sniffing device that looks a little like

ANSWER KEY

a designer slide rule. The powder, and the device, were invented by a Belgian chocolatier seven years ago, to give one last new thrill to aging members of the Rolling Stones.

The week before, I also tooted some cacao—although mine was nowhere near as classy as the European cocoa snuff. I got jittery as hell snorting a new substance called Coco Loko, made by a company in Orlando called Legal Lean, which also sells a drug-free herbal take on Purple Drank to spiky-haired Caucasian-Floridian rappers.

The $20, 1.5-ounce snuffbox of Coco Loko is precisely what its name suggests, a cacao-powder Four Loko that “infuses” its chocolate powder with a guarana-taurine energy cocktail. Legal Lean advertises, without any particular proof, a 30-minute endorphin and serotonin rush, not to mention “euphoric energy” and “calm focus.”

Coco Loko snorts clean, as it turns out, with none of the pain of your average pixie stick. It’s been ground into a pleasingly soft, fine dust whose mild discomfort comes only after the snort—a mix of viscous, chocolate cake-y post-nasal drip and the world’s least-offensive brown boogers. Until you find a Kleenex, each inward breath smells pleasantly of chocolate. And then, so does your Kleenex.

The high is the high of Red Bull: a shaky, spacey, vacuous hollowness that makes me useless.

This is all perfectly legal, of course—it’s chocolate.

But don’t worry. Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer is on the case. Having seen disturbing images of people snorting that brown cocaine at parties, Chuck would really like the FDA to look into regulating that crazy cocoa powder. (Watch out brownie bakers—Schumer’s comin’ atcha.)

“I call this product cocaine on training wheels. That’s really what it is,” Schumer wrote in a letter to the FDA this month. “We ought to get rid of it.” Schumer had previously been nervous about the prospect of caffeinated peanut butter.

So far, the FDA and DEA have done all they can to stifle their laughter, with the latter telling the Washington Post— apparently straight-faced—that they were “not aware of any agency concerns related to chocolate inhalants.”

Now, sure, I’m not feeling anything my own mother hasn’t felt at Papa Haydn, but maybe ol’ Schumer is on to something, here—at least, if a 1985 book by Connecticut ethnobotanist Jonathan Ott is to be believed.

“I am the cacahuatl eater,” Ott writes in his book, Ruminations of an Unabashed Chocolate Addict, “an unabashed chocolate addict, from earliest childhood habituated to this most subtle drug, which many have mistaken for mere confit or confection, a palliative for childish natures. But it is not so….Chocolate and not opium is the secret drug of happiness.”

Ott, it turns out, is mostly a proponent of the drug— and figures that the vasodilating properties of sugar-free chocolate leads not just to warm tingles on one’s arms but extra-sensual lovemaking.

Clearly, this chocolate thing is in need of greater study, but it doesn’t look quite like the FDA is going to be the one to do it. Coco Loko, like other snortable chocolates, remains in the same legally gray area of “dietary supplement” as all those screwed-up protein powders at the GNC store. That is, unless someone complains of terminal post-nasal drip.

1 c; 2 c; 3 c; 4 d; 5 b; 6 b; 7 a; 8 c; 9 d; 10 b; 11 d; 12 b; 13 b; 14 b; 15 c

NE VILLE LO NG B OT TO M (6 - 10 ): You’ve probably read the books a few times, but haven’t taken any extra effort to learn more about Harry’s world. Also, you used to be bucktoothed but now you’re dreamy.

CR ABBE & GOY LE (0 - 5 ): Wow. You must really hate reading if you got a score this low. Were you even paying attention to the questions? Because honestly, they were pretty easy for a true fan of the series.

I guess you aren’t one of those.

Willamette Week JULY 26, 2017 wweek.com

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Our ideal candidate has a culinary degree and shares our passion for food, wine, and local/organic ingredients.

Amazing leadership skills and an ability to effectively manage a busy kitchen and diverse workforce are also required.

Candidates with a strong culinary background, including previous experience in high volume kitchens, experience in menu and recipe development, and a flexible work schedule, to include evenings, weekends and holidays, will be given immediate consideration. We offer an opportunity to express your creativity as part of an amazing team. You’ll also be eligible for an excellent benefits package, including medical, dental, PTO, and 401(k).

Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or mail your cover letter and resume attn: HR @ 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland, OR 97217. No phone calls please! E.O.E.

OFFICE MANAGER, ORANGE MEDIA NETWORK, OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY.

Responsibilities include managing the daily administrative operations for the department by providing the full range of planning and management of support resources and personnel.

Required qualifications include BA in Business Administration or related field & 3 years office management experience in a complex office environment.

See posting for full responsibilities and qualifications. Salary is commensurate with education and experience.

Orange Media Network strives to lead the field of collegiate media by elevating diverse student voices through accessible, hands-on media and leadership experiences that challenge views, build grit, and engage the community.

To review posting and apply, go to http://oregonstate.edu/jobs.

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LEGAL NOTICES IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE STATE OF OREGON FOR COOS COUNTY Juvenile Department In the Matter of AMAYA ROSE CEH-NUNLEY A Child.

Case No 17JU00391 PUBLISHED SUMMONS TO: Santiago Che-Mis IN THE NAME OF THE STATE OF OREGON: A petition has been filed asking the court to terminate your parental rights to the above-named children for the purpose of placing the children for adoption. YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PERSONALLY APPEAR BEFORE the Coos County Court, 250 North Baxter, Coquille, OR 97423, on the 18th day of September 2017 at 9:30 a.m. to admit or deny the allegations of the petition and to personally appear at any subsequent court-ordered hearing. YOU MUST APPEAR PERSONALLY IN THE COURTROOM ON THE DATE AND AT THE TIME LISTED ABOVE. AN ATTORNEY MAY NOT ATTEND THE HEARING IN YOUR PLACE. THEREFORE, YOU MUST APPEAR EVEN IF YOUR ATTORNEY ALSO APPEARS. This summons is published pursuant to the order of the circuit court judge of the above-entitled court, dated July 20, 2017.

The order directs that this summons be published once each week for three consecutive weeks, making three publications in all, in a published newspaper of general circulation in Multnomah County.

Date of first publication: July 26, 2017 Date of last publication: August 9th, 2017 NOTICE READ THESE PAPERS CAREFULLY IF YOU DO NOT APPEAR PERSONALLY BEFORE THE COURT OR DO NOT APPEAR AT ANY SUBSEQUENT COURTORDERED HEARING, the court may proceed in your absence without further notice and TERMINATE YOUR PARENTAL RIGHTS to the above-named children either ON THE DATE SPECIFIED IN THIS SUMMONS OR ON A FUTURE DATE, and may make such orders and take such action as authorized by law.

RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS (1) YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE REPRESENTED BY AN ATTORNEY IN THIS MATTER. If you are currently represented by an attorney, CONTACT YOUR ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY UPON RECEIVING THIS NOTICE. Your previous attorney may not be representing you in this matter.

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HIRE AN ATTORNEY and you meet the state’s financial guidelines, you are entitled to have an attorney appointed for you at state expense. TO REQUEST APPOINTMENT OF AN ATTORNEY TO REPRESENT YOU AT STATE EXPENSE, YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY CONTACT the Douglas Juvenile Department at , phone number , (541) 4404409 between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. for further information.

IF YOU WISH TO HIRE AN ATTORNEY, please retain one as soon as possible and have the attorney present at the above hearing. If you need help finding an attorney, you may call the Oregon State Bar’s Lawyer Referral Service at (503) 684-3763 or toll free in Oregon at (800) 452-7636.

IF YOU ARE REPRESENTED BY AN ATTORNEY, IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAINTAIN CONTACT WITH YOUR ATTORNEY AND TO KEEP YOUR ATTORNEY ADVISED OF YOUR WHEREABOUTS. (2) If you contest the petition, the court will schedule a hearing on the allegations of the petition and order you to appear personally and may schedule other hearings related to the petition and order you to appear personally. IF YOU ARE ORDERED TO APPEAR, YOU MUST APPEAR PERSONALLY IN THE COURTROOM, UNLESS THE COURT HAS GRANTED YOU AN EXCEPTION IN ADVANCE UNDER ORS 419B.918 TO APPEAR BY OTHER MEANS INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, TELEPHONIC OR OTHER ELECTRONIC MEANS. AN ATTORNEY MAY NOT ATTEND THE HEARING(S) IN YOUR PLACE. PETITIONER’S ATTORNEY Emily N. Snook Assistant Attorney General Department of Justice 975 Oak Street, Suite 200 Eugene, OR 97401 Phone: (541) 686-7973

Charles

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ISSUED this 21st day of July, 2017.

Issued by: Emily N. Snook, OSB #125339 Assistant Attorney General

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Across 1 “Just Putting It Out There” comedian Nancherla 7 Org. associated with the John Tesh song “Roundball Rock” 10 Diamond headgear 13 Mandrill relative 14 Cartman’s first name 16 Record collector’s platters 17 The economies of Hong Kong, Singapore, South Korea, and Taiwan, to economists

19 Ecol. watchdog (we can hope)

your name on your food, maybe

20 Bering or Messina, for short

36 Uptempo song by The Cure

21 Greedy person’s mantra

40 Spray can contents

23 “Glengarry Glen Ross” dramatist

43 Bathroom unit

25 “Hold ___ your hat!”

26 City in Utah County, Utah 27 Escapes artfully 29 Bottomless pit 30 “Tic ___ Dough” (TV game show) 31 Reason to write

41 Opp. of SSE 46 And others, in citations 48 Silly fool 49 Beijing skyline feature 53 1991 Wimbledon winner Michael 54 The days of Caesar, colloquially

9 ___-surface missile 10 Author Beverly who created Ramona and Beezus 11 Food you’re asked how you like?

12 Source of the line “The meek shall inherit the earth” 15 CBS procedural that ran for 15 seasons

37 1945 meeting place for Churchill, Stalin, and Roosevelt 38 Article accompanier, often 39 It only requires one to ride 42 “Do ___ Diddy Diddy” (1964 #1 hit) 43 Cloud layers 44 Cheesy 45 Points toward 47 One small sip 49 “Ten Summoner’s Tales” singer 50 Dolphins’ habitat?

51 Exeunt ___ (Shakespearean stage direction) 52 Figure out 55 Many a charitable gp.

56 Some members of the fam 60 “Aw, hell ___!”

61 Altoids container last week’s answers

18 “Letters from ___ Jima” (2006 film) 22 Maguire who played Spidey 23 Held a session 24 Old Toyota compact model

©2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ823.

46

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Week of July 27

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you feeling as daringabout romance as I suspect?

If so, I’ve composed a provocative note for you to give to anyone you have good reason to believe will be glad to receive it. Feel free to copy it word-for-word or edit it to suit your needs. Here it is: “I want to be your open-hearted explorer. Want to be mine? We can be in foolishly cool drooling devotion to each other’s mighty love power. We can be in elegant solid-gold allegiance to each other’s genius. Wouldn’t it be fun to see how much liberation we can whip up together? We can play off our mutual respect as we banish the fearful shticks in our bags of tricks. We can inspire each other to reach unexpected heights of brazen intelligence.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You still have a wound that never formed a proper scar.

(We’re speaking metaphorically here.) It’s chronically irritated. Never quite right. Always stealing bits of your attention. Would you like to do something to reduce the distracting power of that annoying affliction? The next 25 days will be a favorable time to seek such a miracle.

All the forces of nature and spirit will conspire in your behalf if you formulate a clear intention to get the healing you need and deserve.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In his poem “The Initiate,” Charles Simic speaks of “someone who solved life’s riddles in a voice of an ancient Sumerian queen.” I hope you’re not focused on seeking help and revelations from noble and grandiose sources like that, Gemini. If you are, you may miss the useful cues and clues that come your way via more modest informants. So please be alert for the blessings of the ordinary. As you work on solving your quandaries, give special attention to serendipitous interventions and accidental luck.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): For many years, the Tobe Zoological Park in China housed a “praying panther” named Ato. The large black feline periodically rose up on her hind legs and put her paws together as if petitioning a higher power for blessings. I suggest we make her your spirit ally in the coming weeks. I hope she’ll inspire you to get your restless mind out of the way as you seek to quench your primal needs. With the praying panther as your muse, you should be able to summon previously untapped reserves of your animal intelligence and cultivate an instinctual knack for knowing where to find raw, pristine satisfaction.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Do you really have to be the flashy king or charismatic queen of all you survey? Must all your subjects put on kneepads and prostrate themselves as they bask in your glory? Isn’t it enough for you to simply be the master of your own emotions, and the boss of your own time, and the lord of your own destiny? I’m not trying to stifle your ambition or cramp your enthusiasm; I just want to make sure you don’t dilute your willpower by trying to wield command over too wide a swath. The most important task, after all, is to manage your own life with panache and ingenuity. But I will concede this: The coming weeks will be a time when you can also probably get away with being extra worshiped and adored.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Dear Hard Worker: Our records indicate that you have been neglecting to allot yourself sufficient time to rest and recharge. In case you had forgotten, you are expected to take regular extended breaks, during which time it is mandatory to treat yourself with meticulous care and extreme tenderness. Please grant yourself an immediate dispensation. Expose yourself to intensely relaxing encounters with play, fun, and pleasure -- or else! No excuses will be accepted.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If extraterrestrial beings land their space ship on my street and say they want to meet the creatures who best

represent our planet, I will volunteer you Libras. Right now, at least, you’re nobler than the rest of us, and more sparkly, too. You’re dealing smartly with your personal share of the world’s suffering, and your day-to-day decisions are based more on love than fear. You’re not taking things too personally or too seriously, and you seem better equipped than everyone else to laugh at the craziness that surrounds us. And even if aliens don’t appear, I bet you will serve as an inspiring influence for more human beings than you realize. Does being a role model sound boring? I hope not. if you regard it as an interesting gift, it will empower you to wield more clout than you’re used to.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): During the four years he worked on painting the Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo never took a bath. Was he too preoccupied with his masterpiece? Modern artist Pae White has a different relationship with obsession.

To create her fabric art pieces, she has spent years collecting more than 3,500 scarves designed by her favorite scarf-maker. Then there’s filmmaker James Cameron, who hired an expert in linguistics to create an entire new language from scratch for the aliens in his movie Avatar. In accordance with the astrological omens, Scorpio, I approve of you summoning this level of devotion -- as long as it’s not in service to a transitory desire, but rather to a labor of love that has the potential to change your life for the better for a long time.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions that have been hidden by the answers,” wrote author James Baldwin. Even if you’re not an artist, I encourage you to make that your purpose in the coming weeks. Definitive answers will at best be irrelevant and at worst useless.

Vigorous doubt and inquiry, on the other hand, will be exciting and invigorating. They will mobilize you to rebel against any status quos that have been tempting you to settle for mediocrity.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’re in a phase of your cycle when the most useful prophecies are more lyrical than logical. So here you go: three enigmatic predictions to help stir up the creative ingenuity you’ll need to excel on your upcoming tests.

1. A darling but stale old hope must shrivel and wane so that a spiky, electric new hope can be born. 2. An openness to the potential value of a metaphorical death will be one of your sweetest assets. 3. The best way to cross a border is not to sneak across bearing secrets but to stride across in full glory with nothing to hide.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian novelist James Joyce had a pessimistic view about intimate connection. Here’s what he said: “Love (understood as the desire of good for another) is in fact so unnatural a phenomenon that it can scarcely repeat itself, the soul being unable to become virgin again and not having energy enough to cast itself out again into the ocean of another’s soul.” My challenge to you, Aquarius -- in accordance with the astrological omens -- is to prove Joyce wrong. Figure out how to make your soul virgin again so it can cast itself out into the ocean of another’s soul. The next eight weeks will be prime time to achieve that glorious feat.

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Years after he had begun his work as a poet, Rainer Maria Rilke confessed that he was still finding out what it took to do his job. “I am learning to see,” he wrote. “I don’t know why it is, but everything enters me more deeply and doesn’t stop where it once used to.” Given the current astrological omens, you have a similar opportunity, Pisces: to learn more about how to see. It won’t happen like magic. You can’t just sit back passively and wait for the universe to accomplish it for you. But if you decide you really would like to be more perceptive -- if you resolve to receive and register more of the raw life data that’s flowing towards you -- you will expand and deepen your ability to see.

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