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TAY L O R PA R T E E

FINDINGS

PAGE 27

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 43, ISSUE 18.

The Office of Neighborhood Involvement, which under Commissioner Amanda Fritz targeted a black-owned jazz club on Alberta, has backed down. 6 A zookeeper said Packy was doing well while begging for his life in the days before the zoo’s suits put him down. 7 For some reason, armed ICE agents are still being allowed into Multnomah County Courthouse. Isn’t this still a sanctuary city? 9

ON THE COVER:

Portland schools will pay the guy who made an infamous $11,000 spreadsheet more money. 10 Oregon’s smallest ski resort is cash-only and powered by generator. 26 A crusty local punk zine has stopped ironically publishing swastikas, because Trump. 28 Carrie Brownstein gave an inspired speech that included the stirring line, “We can’t all be the vascular system.” 39

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Double-stacked Slow Burger photographed by Thomas Teal.

A Portland record label selling Nazi music is now a registered hate organization.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Corey Pein Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Nicole Groessel, Maya McOmie, Stage Editor Shannon Gormley Screen Editor Walker MacMurdo Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer

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WYDEN KEEPS HEAT ON TRUMP

I find it interesting that Ron Wyden thinks he knows things the FBI has long since cleared Trump on, namely the president’s supposed “Russian connection,” which is patently ridiculous [“Tinker Tailor Senator Spy,” WW, Feb. 22, 2017]. Where’s the proof, Senator? Imagine that, you have none. —“Tangled Up in Blue” The U.S. intelligence agencies seem to think Russia sought to interfere with the election. There are valid questions here. Wyden is doing a good job calling this B.S. out. Trump and his minions are not what America is about. —“ByTor”

#wweek

y p p a H Hour

SHOOTINGS INVOLVING FAKE GUNS

It is not unreasonable to assume that a toy gun would be mistaken for the real thing, and that police would react to one just as they would to an actual firearm [“Toy Gun. Real Death,” WW, Feb. 22, 2017]. Anyone with a brain knows that pointing a firearm (toy or not) at a police officer is a surefire way to get shot and killed, and in lots of legal trouble if you survive. —“Al Ways Thinkin”

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TRUMP RUSS A?

I have no concern for the people who die as a result of brandishing these items, and I have no desire to impose laws on the entire nation in an attempt to protect them. This is yet another case of misidentifying the victim. —“Oregon Jelly”

This is fake news. WW’s cover featur- “Wyden is ing a picture of Putin implies there is doing a RECORD LABEL LANDS some kind of Trump-Russia connec- good job of ON HATE-GROUP LIST tion. There is none, and this article calling this I admire the Southern Poverty Law provides zero proof of any kind. Center for the work it’s done, but B.S. out.” Wyden’s work exposing the if all you hold is a hammer, everyNational Security Agency is great, thing begins to look like a nail [“An but it has absolutely nothing to do with the Unwanted Label,” WW, Feb. 22, 2017]. mainstream media’s narrative that Russia had a Charles Powne has been an inspiration to me for 30 years; I owe a lot of my musical curihand in beating Hillary Clinton in the election. osity and willingness to test my ears with dif—“Clientalia Morevelili” ficult music because of the Ooze and Soleilmoon You can pretend Russia didn’t try to influence the Recordings. Not all of it is great, but you learn election, and you can try to ignore the fact state- what you like and move on, better educated for run media there were running a “Love Trump” having had the opportunity to hear everything. campaign, and you can set aside the repeated —“deep concentration” contacts between the Trump campaign and Russian officials…oh, wait. No you can’t. TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s All you can do is misdirect in a desperate LETTERS street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. attempt to demonize anyone who dares question Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. the Dear Leader. Email: mzusman@wweek.com. —“mutie”

BY MA RT Y SM T H

Packy deserves our sympathy, but curious minds wonder: What does the Oregon Zoo do with a 12,000-pound carcass? —Animal Lover Combining as it does a legitimate, topical curiosity with a certain juvenile morbidness, this question is a natural fit for this column. That said, I know where you guys are going with this, and it’s not happening. People seem to assume that Packy’s demise would have represented the first time zookeepers ever had to move an unconscious or incapacitated elephant, and must have presented a unique and nearly insurmountable challenge. Surely, drastic measures must have been called for? Nice try, freaks. As much as I’m sure it will disappoint you to hear, this was not an exploding whale* scenario. Moving an elephant may not be as easy as whistling Rover into his crate, but it does come up from time to time, and there’s an accepted way to do it: You put a sling around the animal to support it, then lift the sling with a hydraulic hoist or crane. 4

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As to the disposition of Packy’s remains— well, we kind of lucked out there, because in a lot of cases a dead zoo animal’s body is pretty grim. There’s usually a necropsy, which is invasive, to say the least. After that, the decedent is parted out to various researchers, some of whom may have requested specific tissue samples while the animal was still alive. Whatever is left over is cremated. However, Packy’s fans will be relieved to learn that none of that happened to him. There was no necropsy, and Packy was buried entirely in what officials called “a peaceful, wooded area” in an undisclosed location, so you degenerates can’t do to his grave what you did to Jim Morrison’s. *A mainstay of Oregon legendaria, the “exploding whale” was a 1970 incident in which the Oregon Department of Transportation tried to dispose of a beached whale using dynamite. We’ve covered it here. QUEST ONS? Send them to dr know@wweek com

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MURMURS

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BILLAL

Teenage Somali Refugee Granted Residency

A Gresham teenager and refugee from Somalia who was nearly deported under President Obama got good news last week in the Trump era: The U.S. government has granted him permanent residency. Last June, WW told the story of Billal, the now-18-year-old refugee. He was thrown into adult immigration detention for two months because dental X-rays suggested he was more likely an adult than a child when he asked for entry to the U.S. at the Mexican border in 2015. Billal, who asked that his last name not be published for fear of drawing further attention to himself, lacked documents but told agents he was only 17. Oﬃcials sent him to Portland under a program for unaccompanied minors but immediately began deportation proceedings. They used the dental records to support their case, violating the government’s rules on the use of X-rays. That’s over now. “It is really amazing,” Billal says. “A lot of people have helped me.”

Lawmakers Take Aim at Hospital Profits

Numerous Democratic lawmakers and the Service Employees International Union are eager to cut into hospital windfalls from the Affordable Care Act. As WW reported last year (“Thanks, Obama!,” WW, April 13, 2016), Oregon’s aggressive expansion of Medicaid has dramatically shrunk the number of Oregonians who lack health care. That in turn means hospitals provide dramatically less charity care and make huge profits. House Bill 2115, which would put limits on those profits, gets its first hearing March 1 before the House Committee on Health Care. State Reps. Mitch 6

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Greenlick and Rob Nosse (both D-Portland), the chairman and vice chairman of the committee, respectively, want the hospitals, nearly all of which are nonprofits, to devote at least 5 percent of their gross revenues to charity care or other community benefit, or surrender their nonprofit status. Currently, there is no specific yardstick to measure whether hospitals provide enough community benefit to be exempt from taxes. “Hospitals have done very well under the Affordable Care Act,” Nosse says. “If you get to be a nonprofit because you provide a community benefit, what’s the minimum benefit you have to provide?”

Alberta Street Jazz Club Will Stay Open

Solae’s Lounge, the blackowned jazz club on Northeast Alberta Street that the city ﬁned for noise violations, has reached a truce with the Oﬃce of Neighborhood Involvement. ONI took the unusual step of bringing an administrative case against Solae’s, among the last jazz clubs in the city. Lawyers and HENRY CROMETT

SOLAE’S LOUNGE

activists decried the noise enforcement as racially biased overreach. The case was resolved Jan. 23, after owner Yosief Embaye agreed to add further soundproofing. The bar has since constructed a vestibule in the back of the building and added another back door. “This case never should have been brought in this manner in the first place,” Embaye’s attorney, Ashlee Albies, says. “So, given that, I’m glad the city was unsuccessful in trying to put Solae’s out of business.” Theresa Marchetti, ONI’s livability programs manager, is “glad” the bureau was able to address the noise. “These modifications should have happened 18 months ago,” she says.

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

The Packy Papers

EMAILS OBTAINED BY WW SHOW THE OREGON ZOO STRUGGLING OVER THE DECISION TO PUT DOWN PACKY THE ELEPHANT. On Feb. 9, the Oregon Zoo euthanized an iconic resident, Packy the elephant. The decision to do so wasn’t unanimous. WW has obtained emails showing that an Oregon Zoo elephant keeper named Pam Starkey begged government officials to reconsider the decision to put down Packy. Her plea ran counter to the advice of zoo veterinarians, who euthanized the 54-year-old elephant, which had long suffered from tuberculosis. The decision made by the zoo and approved by Metro, the regional government that runs it, outraged animal-rights activists, who have long objected to Packy’s captivity. The documents obtained by WW through a public records request also show Starkey alerted activists to Packy’s impending death. Dr. Tim Storms, the zoo’s senior veterinarian, tells WW the zoo did not want to wait until Packy was clearly suffering. “However,” Storms says, “there was another equally important reason guiding our decision: the risk, however slight, of the organism being transmitted to other elephants or humans.” Here are the emails, including a timeline, showing how the zoo prepared for Packy’s death, and rebuffed objections. SOPHIA JUNE.

Sent: 8:51 am Friday, Feb. 3 From: Oregon Zoo director Don Moore To: Animal activist Courtney Scott For any sick animal with no hope of recovering, euthanasia is something we would consider, and, yes, that is something we must think about with Packy. […] The treatment options for Packy are extremely limited, and we know they would be very hard on him physically—with no guarantee of success. None of Packy’s caregivers feel it would be right to put Packy through that. But we also know that without treatment, Packy’s TB will continue to get worse—and no one wants him to go through that either. We are facing a problem with seemingly no good answers.

This Week’s Lies DISPATCHES FROM THE TRUMPIVERSE, FEB. 22-28

Sent: 11:33 pm Tuesday, Feb. 7 From: Elephant keeper Pam Starkey To: The Metro Council It again has become evident that a decision has been made that is irreversible. I am asking for your assistance and review. Animal welfare concerns have been filed and rubber stamped. Staff has spoken out in meetings and been ignored. No one disputes that Packy has antibiotic resistant TB. The current status of his health and the risk associated with his disease is what is in dispute. I ask only that you stop his “euthanasia” in order to review the following information. Know that I am not just an irate employee who feels that injustice is being committed, I am the only one who believes that through careful review of the available documentation can a realistic determination be made that will protect Packy from an untimely and unethical death. […] Do not allow this decision to go forward until you are fully informed. You know as well as I if you don’t and this information comes out after Packy’s death, no one will benefit. Not the Zoo or Metro. And frankly for Packy this decision is final. You can’t bring him back.

Sent: 12:35 pm Wednesday, Feb. 8 From: Metro Council President Tom Hughes To: Pam Starkey Thank you for sharing your perspective. We respect our employees’ right to speak up. We also respect the expertise of the zoo’s leaders. Decisions about animal welfare must be made by animal experts, not by elected ofﬁcials.

Sent: 4:24 pm Wednesday, Feb. 8 From: Oregon Zoo director Don Moore, draft announcement To: Staff I am deeply saddened to inform you that tomorrow we plan to humanely euthanize our beloved Asian elephant Packy. He will be surrounded by the people he knows best and who have cared for him for years. […] As you know, Packy is suffering from an active, drug-resistant form of tuberculosis. There are no viable treatment options for him, and without treatment, the TB will continue to worsen. We did not want his last day to be his worst day; therefore we chose tomorrow so his life would be digniﬁed in the end.

“Sometimes it’s the reverse, to make people—or to make others—look bad,” President Donald Trump said, regarding the ongoing wave of terroristic bomb threats and vandalism at Jewish community centers and cemeteries across the country. He reportedly made the comments at the White House to a gathering of state attorneys general Feb. 28. Although his precise meaning was ambiguous, the suggestion—without a shred of evidence—that the threats were anything but anti-Semitic hate crimes and were instead staged to make certain non-Jews “look bad” led to a demand for clarification from the AntiDefamation League—as well as Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum, who was present for Trump’s remarks. “You don’t have to be Jewish to be shocked by a statement like that,” Rosenblum, who is Jewish, told WW. (Disclosure: Rosenblum is married to the co-owner of WW’s parent company.) “When I was young, in high school and college, everybody used to say, ‘We haven’t lost a war’—we never lost a war,” Trump said at a Feb. 27 meeting with state governors. “America never lost. And now we never win a war. We never win.” Trump received five draft deferments—four for college, one for “temporary” bone problems in his heels—during the Vietnam War, the most indisputable U.S. military defeat of Trump’s lifetime. “I’m against the people that make up stories and make up sources…. [The press] shouldn’t be allowed to use sources unless they use somebody’s name,” Trump said at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Feb. 24. Of course, his White House staff frequently cite and serve as anonymous sources. Also, for decades, Trump sometimes posed as his own spokesman—using the name “John Miller” or “John Barron”—to call reporters in New York. Trump denied this practice when a recording surfaced during the campaign, although he had previously admitted to it after his then-wife Marla Maples caught “John Miller” bragging to reporters about Trump’s new girlfriend, an Italian fashion model.

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joe riedl

NEWS

court referee Monica herranz

The Great Escape A JUDGE ALLEGEDLY HELPED AN UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANT THE ONE WAY SHE COULD—BY LETTING HIM FLEE ICE AGENTS THROUGH A SIDE DOOR. By co r e y p e i n

cpein@wweek.com

A young man’s daring escape from capture by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, apparently with the assistance of a local judicial referee, has shocked and divided the Portland legal community. Multnomah County court referee Monica Herranz is under internal review and the target of complaints from a federal prosecutor after allegedly helping the undocumented immigrant elude ICE last month by exiting the courtroom through an employee door. The getaway didn’t ultimately keep the man from being snared by immigration officials after pleading guilty to a DUII. But it demonstrates how everyday court proceedings have mutated, and how tensions have grown within the criminal justice system, as ICE steps up deportations under President Donald Trump. “Our job is to run a courthouse,” says Multnomah County Circuit Presiding Judge Nan Waller. “It’s a difficult position to be in.” Diddier Pacheco Salazar, a Mexican-born construction worker in his mid-20s, was charged Jan. 1 with driving recklessly and under the influence of intoxicants. At his first court appearance Jan. 3 he pleaded not guilty. At his second appearance, on Jan. 27, he changed his plea to guilty in exchange for a deferred sentence and entry into a diversion program. Two days earlier, Trump had signed executive orders starting the construction of a border wall with Mexico, stepping up deportations of undocumented immigrants, and declaring that “sanctuary jurisdictions” such as Portland could lose federal grant funding. Reports spread of increased activity by plainclothes ICE officers in and

around the Multnomah County Courthouse. Pacheco Salazar and his court-appointed attorney, John Schlosser, were aware of the risks. They knew, Schlosser says, that plainclothes ICE agents were waiting outside the courtroom on the third floor of the Justice Center at 1120 SW 3rd Ave. It appeared Pacheco Salazar might be deported before he could face justice. “I prepped my client. I said, ‘I don’t know if they’re going to pick you up outside or what, but here’s how to prepare,’” Schlosser tells WW. “After the court appearance, I went out in the hallway and sat. My client never came out. I can’t say that I’m surprised he didn’t come out, but I gave him his options, and assume he had to have been escorted out some other way.” None of the parties contacted by WW will say exactly what happened next. But multiple sources confirm the

steppinG out: an immigrant man’s flight from the Justice center in downtown portland has highlighted tensions between county and federal officials.

sounded like potential federal criminal law violations and/ or ethical violations,” Williams says. “Generally, we’re talking about obstruction of justice.” Williams, ICE and the Department of Justice’s Office of Professional Responsibility in Washington, D.C., all ultimately agreed not to pursue a criminal investigation or a bar complaint against Herranz or anyone else who may have been involved. Instead, they decided to talk it out, most recently at a lunch meeting Feb. 22 with Multnomah County judges, including Waller, and with Portland-area ICE administrator Elizabeth Godfrey. Waller says Herranz’s name did not come up at the meeting. But both sides registered their displeasure more obliquely. According to Waller and Multnomah County Trial Court Administrator Barbara Marcille, the judges made clear to Williams that state law forbids public employees from providing additional information beyond what’s available to the general public to ICE, while Williams made it clear to the judges that they could not do anything to interfere with federal law enforcement. “I respect what Judge Waller is saying,” Williams tells

“My client never caMe out. i can’t say that i’M surprised he didn’t coMe out.” —John Schlosser, attorney for Diddier Pacheco Salazar outlines: At least one defendant in the courtroom that day avoided federal immigration agents by leaving through an entrance usually reserved for court employees. On the bench in the courtroom that day was Monica Herranz, who is also on the board of directors of the Oregon Hispanic Bar Association. Herranz is what’s known as a court referee: essentially a contract judge who handles lower-level criminal, civil and family court cases. Herranz declined to speak to WW. Her boss, Waller, also declined to discuss the incident but said she was gathering facts to review whether any policies were violated and, if so, would decide on an appropriate remedy. About a week after the incident, Portland ICE officials told U.S. Attorney for Oregon Billy Williams about how Pacheco Salazar eluded capture. Williams was concerned that a local judge may have kept federal agents from making an arrest. “I was troubled because, on the face of it, what I heard

WW. “I understand it. But I also understand that ICE has a job to do.” One month after Trump’s immigration orders, the tension between federal and local government remains thick—and fear pervades immigrant communities. “I don’t think we can reassure people [to come to court despite the ICE presence] when it’s not something we can have control over,” Waller said. “We don’t want to do something that will give a false reassurance and then have something happen.” A regional ICE spokesperson declined to comment for this story. As for Pacheco Salazar, ICE arrested him two weeks later at a follow-up hearing, Schlosser says. Agents saw them leaving the courtroom together and turned to follow. “They followed us down the street a little bit, and then stopped and picked him up,” Schlosser says. His whereabouts are unknown. WW staff writer Nigel Jaquiss contributed reporting to this story. Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

ANDREW MOIR

NEWS

Playing Bond EARLY SIGNS POINT TO TROUBLE FOR A RECORD-SETTING SCHOOL BOND. BY N IGEL JAQU ISS

njaquiss@wweek.com

Portland Public Schools is proceeding slowly on a $790 million capital bond measure to address safety problems and rebuild decrepit schools. The district is poised to place the measure—the largest in Oregon history—on the May 16 ballot. However, despite the unprecedented size of the request PPS is about to send to voters, the school district dawdled in making one of the key strategic decisions needed for a successful trip to the ballot: choosing a political consultant. The contract, awarded Jan. 23, is crucial because the troubled district has a complex story to tell voters after the resignation of Superintendent Carole Smith amid the lead scandal. But the district made its choice many months later than might be expected. And the bond campaign committee picked a consultant who’s already notorious for billing $11,000 for a ninepage spreadsheet. In fact, the winning consultant, Jeremy Wright, submitted the only bid to run the May campaign. He declined to disclose terms. Wright successfully ran a campaign to renew a Portland school levy in 2014 and a $291 million bond campaign for the Gresham Barlow School District last year. He also made news when WW reported last year that he’d received a no-bid contract from PPS to produce analysis of previous bond elections. In December, a PPS investigator found that then-district spokesman Jon Isaacs had awarded Wright the contract without any due diligence. Portland School Board Chairman Tom Koehler says the investigation into Wright’s spreadsheet contract found “some internal issues with contracting ” but no wrongdoing on Wright’s part. He acknowledges no other consultant bid for the 2017 bond contract but says, “We went out and hired the best person for the job.” “Jeremy has the current best track record of any consultant on local Portland region school bond measures,” Koehler says. “He’s passed them in tough places that have rejected them by wide margins previously.” Wright says he did what he was asked on the spreadsheet. As for the bond campaign, he says the quality of the health, safety and construction package PPS has created will be the key to success. “You always want more time,” Wright says, 10

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

“but this bond will touch every school, and that’s more important than any campaign calendar.” Several leading political consultants, including Mark Wiener, Liz Kaufman, Kevin Looper, Jake Weigler and Paige Richardson, did not bother submitting proposals for the work. Richardson ran a bond campaign for the Beaverton School District in 2014 that raised $680 million. Like her peers, however, she passed on the most lucrative assignment on the May ballot. “Having worked on the Beaverton bond, I’m aware what it takes to do something like that,” Richardson says. “It was a little bit of a late start, and that raised some red flags with me.” Kaufman, who ran the campaign for a $433 million bond measure in the North Clackamas School District last year, says it’s a mistake to appear on the May ballot, which typically draws a low turnout and more conservative voters. She says North Clackamas spent 24 months educating voters, something PPS has not done. “They are in bad shape with the public. People are most concerned about safety, and it’s only 20 percent of the bond,” Kaufman says. “I just don’t know how to tell that story.” The Portland School Board was set to refer the bond issue to the ballot Feb. 28, after WW press deadlines. The bond proposal likely to be referred would include $348 million to renovate Benson and Madison high schools; $232 million to raze and rebuild Lincoln High and Kellogg Middle schools; and $150 million to fix lead, asbestos and other problems. The district says polling shows nearly 60 percent of voters support a bond, although that polling comes ahead of a detailed proposal voters haven’t yet seen. The district scrapped its initial bond plans last July after revelations of lead in school drinking water captured headlines and cost Superintendent Smith her job. Prior to that decision, the bond campaign had already been working for months. The 2012 campaign sought proposals from political consultants in April, seven months before the November election. This time, instead of asking just for money to rebuild decrepit buildings, the district has allocated a chunk of the bond proceeds—$150 million—to safety fixes and has yet to hire a permanent replacement for Smith. All of that makes for a nuanced story. Koehler rejects the notion the district is behind schedule or has failed to provide voters a compelling narrative. He says the urgency of safety fixes dictates going to the May ballot rather than waiting until November or next year. “We didn’t want to launch the campaign until we had finalized the package,” he says. “After the board takes a vote and refers the bond package on Tuesday night, you will see a very robust, community-driven effort.”

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

R A C H A E L R E N N E L E VA S E E U R

BURGER MADNESS CALENDAR BY M ARTI N C I Z M AR, SOPHIA JU N E, MATTHEW KOR FHAGE

What’s your favorite burger in Portland? The answer probably says as much about you as it does about the burger—whether your head jumped straight to the drive-thru, the bar by your house, the brewery that makes your favorite IPA, or an upscale bistro. No American food is more universal and egalitarian in spirit than the hamburger. It’s a perfect harmony of meat, bun and toppings equally attainable to someone with a budget of $5 or $15. But screw all that crap: Which burger is the best? As NCAA March Madness turns every office in America into an illegal gambling parlor betting on kids who can’t even drink yet, we’ve set up our own 64-deep tournament of Portland hamburgers. It’s burger against burger in a big, beefy, winner-take-all battle to pick the best burger in Portland. Burger Madness pits 64 patties against each other in four regional brackets: Brewpub Burger, Burger Burger, Bar Burger and Bistro Burger. We seeded the burgers based on their reputations, just like in the NCAA Tournament. Then we ate them to

AND

N ICK ZU KIN

MARCH 3:

see how they’d perform on the day in question, just like in the NCAA Tournament. Each of our four writers ate his or her way through one regional bracket. We will reveal their picks round by round in the coming weeks until the best burger in Portland is crowned. When it hits the Final Four, our critics’ top picks face off against each other—and all four writers eat together. At the championship, we’ll eat the top burgers again to make sure the best burger is actually the best. Here’s where you come in: We want you to complete your own brackets at wweek.com/madness, or fill out the brackets in these pages and email pictures of them to burger@wweek.com. You have until midnight Friday, March 3, to turn in your bracket. After that, we will start to reveal our writers’ picks. Whoever matches our bracket the closest will get $150 to spend on drinks and burgers at Bar Bar on North Mississippi Avenue. Everyone else will get a chance to show who they think should have won. Like we said, that says as much about you as the burger.

Brackets due by midnight. Complete online at wweek. com/madness or send to burger@wweek.com.

MARCH 4-5:

Round of 64. Results of regional faceoffs revealed Saturday and Sunday.

MARCH 6-9:

Round of 32. Results of matchups revealed each day Monday through Thursday.

MARCH 11-12: The Sweet 16.

MARCH 13-16:

The Elite Eight.

MARCH 18-19:

The Final Four. MARCH 20:

Championship Monday. Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

BREW What’s better than burgers and beer?

Our annual Beer Guide dropped this week—look for it at the places below or at your favorite beer bar—and so we decided to give brewpubs their own quarter of the contest. Every spot included in the beerpub bracket makes its own beer. Taster Martin Cizmar ordered everything medium (“medium medium, exactly medium”) and ordered the burger named for the pub or the basic burger. Failing that, he requested the most popular. Arguably, this is the weakest regional in the competition since Portland breweries famously lag a little behind its other eateries, and none is especially famous for its burger. Still, don’t sleep on the handful of elites, especially when they can alley-oop to a nice, juicy IPA.

1. FAT HEAD’S

131 NW 13th Ave., 503-820-7721, fatheadsportland.com. 11:30 am-11 pm Monday-Thursday, 11:30 am-midnight Friday-Saturday, 11:30 am-10 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A big ol’ bacon cheeseburger from a spot that made its bones with food. Much like the basketball Madness of the month, our selection committee is partial to pedigree. No matter the records, St. Bonaventure gets seeded below Kentucky. And when you have the word “Ohio,” associated with your burger, you walk onto the court with respect—Ohioans invented the hamburger, after all. Unlike every other spot on this list, Fat Head’s actually started as a restaurant without plans to make its own beer. The first location was in Pittsburgh, where it sold football-sized sandwiches to the yinzers watching Stillers games. When Fat Head’s expanded to suburban Cleveland, it started making its own beer, and has gone on to win bushels of medals. Its garishly adorned brewpub in the Pearl is the only Western outpost. The beer is great. Last year, when we blind-tasted every IPA made within Portland city limits, it not only took first place, but second as well. Everything here is supersized—hugely hoppy IPAs, wings smoked before they’re fried, and a basic burger ($13.50 with house potato chips) that comes with cheese and bacon on top of 7 ounces of beef. That burger is one of the more restrained offerings, at least compared to one topped with kimchi and a sunny-side-up egg and another topped with pulled-pork chili. The burger has a very classic feel, with a half-melted slice of American cheese, a big flop of romaine lettuce and a splash of mayo. Unfortunately, on our most recent visit the “medium medium” was way overdone, without a speck of pink. Such mistakes can be overcome in the early rounds, but may doom Fat Head’s once the competition gets stiffer.

2. BREAKSIDE

820 NE Dekum St., 503-719-6475, breakside.com. 11:30 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11:30 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A half-pound of charred Idaho kobe with Oregon blue cheese. The Portland beer scene is getting more competitive. The growth of the craft-beer market segment has slowed, while more breweries continue to open—our 2017 Beer Guide covers nearly twice as many spots as we had in the original, 2013 edition. How to weather this? According to brewmaster Ben Edmunds, part of its strategy involves a focus on its pubs. (A new one opens in Slabtown on March 6.) A burger is key to the success of any brewpub, 14

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and Breakside’s is performing like an MVP. It’s $16 with waffle fries, but it’s a hulking halfpound of Kobe-style beef from Boise’s Snake River Farms that has a beautiful char on the outside. The server didn’t ask how we wanted it, and instead brought it out with a perfect pink center. The patty is lathered up with Rogue Smokey Blue cheese. If we want to nitpick, there are a few subtle problems: The bun could be fresher, the pickles are not quite bright enough, and the stewy caramelized onions get a little lost. But none of these really seems to matter much when it’s sitting next to a pint of Breakside IPA.

3. BURNSIDE

701 E Burnside St., 503-946-8151, burnsidebrewco.com. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Tuesday, 11 am-11 pm WednesdayThursday, 11 am-midnight Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Fry sauce, housemade pickles and a patty that’s beautifully caramelized. Ask people in the beer scene, and they’ll argue this might be the best burger in the whole city— though that opinion may date to when it was still seared in duck fat. This 7-year-old pub just east of the Burnside Bridge is known for a top-tier kitchen, which serves everything from chilaquiles to croque madame. The burger ($13 with fries, soup or salad) has lots of salty-sweet char, almost as if trail mix had been pulverized into micro-fine dust and caramelized onto the outside. The patty sits like a king atop a throne of shaved lettuce. It also has a great pop of milky fry sauce that contrasts with a pop of pickle. If there’s any Achilles heel, it’s the bun, which is a little too stiff and dry.

4. WAYFINDER

304 SE 2nd Ave., 503-718-2337, wayfinder.beer. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Wednesday, 11 am-midnight Thursday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: The pitmaster of Podnah’s Pit does it diner-style. Wayfinder isn’t technically a brewpub—yet. Six months after it cracked its doors, it still hasn’t brewed any of its own beer. We put it in the bracket anyway because the menu was designed by Rodney Muirhead, who grew his cart into one of the better barbecue restaurants in town, Podnah’s Pit. Rodney does have a way with dead cows. The house diner burger is a thick half-pound patty cooked on a griddle. Wayfinder doesn’t get too cute—it’s a simple slab of juicy beef topped with just the right proportions of lettuce, pickles and onion. You have your choice of cheese, and I picked bue. But the burger’s best feature is actually the wonderful bun, which is soft and buttery. Sadly, the patty itself was a little overdone and that blue cheese made it way too salty.

BURGERS Fat Head’s

Rogue Eastside Pub

Deschutes

McMenamins

Ecliptic

825 N Cook St., 503-265-8002, eclipticbrewing.com. 11 am-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 11 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday, 11 am-9 pm Sunday.

Stormbreaker

SCOUTING REPORT: Culinary ambition manifests as a potato bun and pancetta.

Wayﬁnder

Migration

Hopworks

Great Notion

Burnside

Ex Novo

10 Barrel

Lompoc

Breakside

Sasquatch

5. ECLIPTIC

Fill out your bracket at wweek. com/madness or fill out all four sections by hand and email pictures to burger@wweek.com.

BREWPUB REGIONAL

Ecliptic owner John Harris is a veteran of the local beer scene, having developed classic recipes while at Deschutes, Full Sail and McMenamins. When he finally got his own spot off Mississippi Avenue, he had big ambitions for the food, telling both WW and The Oregonian that he hoped to be counted among the 100 best restaurants in town. It’s been a slower climb than expected, but the beer is racking up medals, and the kitchen has rounded into form. The monster house burger ($14 with fries) is served on a plump potato roll that crushes pleasantly in the fist. It’s topped with a lot of aggressive ingredients—pancetta, red onions, melted Gruyere, and Russian dressing—which are applied gently, bringing it into perfect alignment. Your server doesn’t ask how you want the burger done, and mine came out medium-well, a little overcooked for my taste. It’s also arguably a little salty thanks to the pancetta and Gruyere. But it’s a damned good burger. CONT. on page 16

THOMAS TEAL

ECLIPTIC

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BREW BURGERS 6. HOPWORKS

9. KENNEDY SCHOOL (MCMENAMINS)

SCOUTING REPORT: A backyard burger befitting an ice-cold lager.

SCOUTING REPORT: A brioche bun and a little grill time.

For a bike-themed organic brewery, Hopworks has a thick streak of the traditional. Its flagship beer is a lager, and the burger to pair it with is what you’d expect to find at a backyard barbecue. The Brewer’s Burger is a regular patty on a regular bun with mayo, lettuce, tomato and onion. You have to upgrade if you want cheese, but there’s a sauce included, so I got barbecue, which was on the sweet side. The burger had a little pink, and the toppings included a lot of onion and mayo.

Confession: I’ve been writing about food in this town for going on six years, and until now, I’d never had a burger at McMenamins. Well, the one at Kennedy School’s Courtyard Restaurant ($11.75 with fries or tots) is very nice. It uses Country Natural beef, the brand I tend to prefer, and comes with beautiful grill marks that leave little lines of tangy smoke. It goes onto a really nice brioche bun, with shredded lettuce, pickles and sauce. My only complaint was that it was a tad overcooked.

2944 SE Powell Blvd., 503-232-4677, hopworksbeer.com. 11 am-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-midnight Friday-Saturday.

7. 10 BARREL

1411 NW Flanders St., 503-224-1700, 10barrel.com. 11 am-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-midnight Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Corporate ownership hits the food harder than the beer.

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-3983, mcmenamins.com. 7 am-midnight Sunday-Thursday, 7 am-1 am Friday-Saturday.

10. LOMPOC

1620 NW 23rd Ave., 503-894-9374, lompocbrewing.com. 11 am-1 am Monday-Thursday, 11 am-2 am Friday-Saturday, 11 am-midnight Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Great with mustard, a forgotten play in Portland.

I’m a mustard guy—my favorite burgers, ever, are crispedged patties griddled on a flat-top that are adorned simThis Bend-born brewery was sold to Anheuser-Busch ply with mustard, pickles and onions. But Portland is not a back in 2014. People who criticize the corporate suds are mustard town, at least when it comes to burgers. misguided: Whitney Burnside, the brewer at the pub in Well, Lompoc Tavern is the exception, serving up a the Pearl, is one of the most creative and talented people burger with a nice splatter of yellow and even giving you a squeeze bottle on the side in case you want more. in local beer. However, you’re fine bashing the burger ($12 with fries or My burger came upside down, with the toppings on the chips) as being a little too Applebee’s-y. It’s shaped like a pat- bottom, and with the huge patty showing the type of smooth ty-cutter and came slightly overdone. It needs more salt and a edges that suggests some sort of mechanized process. It was new bun—this one was dense enough to pass for day-old. way overdone, but I loved the flavor anyway.

12. STORMBREAKER

832 N Beech St., 503-703-4516, stormbreakerbrewing.com. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Monday, 11 am-11 pm Tuesday-Thursday, 11 ammidnight Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Sometimes, you outsmart yourself. On paper, this burger from a homey Mississippi patio bar looks like it could be a bracket buster. StormBreaker’s most popular offering is the Jucy Lucy ($12 with chips), an invention of the heavily cheesed upper Midwest in which the patty is actually stuffed with fontina to keep it extra moist. For decadence’s sake, it’s then topped with bacon jam, lettuce, tomato and herbed aioli. Unfortunately, that bacon jam is a super-sweet concoction that smells like onions covered in burnt sugar, undoing everything going right around it—call it the Steph Curry perimeter defense of Portland burgers.

13. MIGRATION

2828 NE Glisan St., 503-206-5221, migrationbrewing.com. 11 ammidnight Monday-Saturday, 11 am-10 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Zucchini is the new cucumber. Migration is about as sportsy as Portland brewpubs get. The next time you’re going out to watch a Blazer game, it’s highly recommended. The classic burger ($10 with fries) is on super-squishy sesame seed bun that just barely survived intact to the end of the patty. The patty itself is very thin, but still maintained a little pink. There’s no cheese, but it was lathered up in a house sauce that juxtaposed nicely with the zucchini pickles.

8. DESCHUTES

11. GREAT NOTION

14. EX NOVO

SCOUTING REPORT: Really knows how to cook a piece of beef.

SCOUTING REPORT: Sometimes it play likes Allen Iverson. Other times it also plays like Allen Iverson.

SCOUTING REPORT: House-ground chuck gets swarmed with pickles and bacon jam.

Why do I order my burgers “medium medium”? Because there’s no window for error—it’s easy to get away with a blood-drenched medium-rare or a dried-out medium-well, but we all intrinsically understand what a perfect pink medium looks like. The burger at the Deschutes brewpub in the Pearl ($13 with fries) was the only burger I tried during this project that hit the Platonic ideal, the Double R Ranch beef squirting a light pink juice when squeezed hard. Unfortunately, it was on a bun that was a little stale and topped with Tillamook cheddar that barely read as cheddar. I also didn’t get much flavor from the housemade pickles.

Great Notion’s notions tend to be a little crazy. The year-old Alberta Street brewpub is known for wild-fruit sours and the hazy, citrus-drenched IPAs that took the city by storm. One of these, Juice Jr., is named the state’s Beer of the Year in our annual Beer Guide, which is on newsstands now. That spirit extends to the food, especially the Great American Cheeseburger ($12 with waffle fries or salad), which comes standard with pepper bacon, organic American cheese, house ketchup and crispy fried onions. The Cascade Natural beef was nice and pink, and the bacon was a nice treat on a $12 burger. The big problem was the fried onions, which were way overdone and too chunky, overwhelming everything else inside the bun.

“Pink or no pink?” the waitress asks. Having just eaten 15 other burgers in quick succession, I took notice of this oddity. “It’s the limitations of the kitchen,” she says. I ordered pink, but it wasn’t. Ex Novo’s Brewburger ($14 with fries or salad) is an ambitious effort, starting with house-ground beef that’s topped with bacon beer jam, smoked Gouda and cardboard-thick slices of pickle. Those pickles really dominated, giving the whole thing a sourness that combined with the salty Gouda to make a burger that tasted a little like a gose.

210 NW 11th Ave., 503-296-4906, deschutesbrewery.com. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Wednesday, 11 am-11 pm Thursday, 11 am-midnight Friday-Saturday.

2204 NE Alberta St., No. 101, 503-548-4491, greatnotionpdx.com. Noon-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, noon-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

326 N Flint Ave., 503-894-8251, exnovobrew.com. 3-10 pm MondayThursday, 3-11 pm Friday, 11 am-11 pm Saturday, 11 am-10 pm Sunday.

15. SASQUATCH

6440 SW Capitol Highway, 503-402-1999, sasquatchbrewery.com. 3-10 pm Monday-Thursday, noon-11 pm Friday-Saturday, noon-9 pm Sunday. FAT HEAD’S

SCOUTING REPORT: It’s small but mighty, thanks to grass-fed beef. The name conjures images of the big and hairy, but the grass-fed burger ($11.50) at this busy Hillsdale brewpub shows admirable restraint. It’s rather petite by the standards to which I’d become accustomed—a one-hander with an aggressive sauce. The server didn’t inquire about doneness, and instead served it medium-well. The beef was very good, though, and the burger really would have benefited from a little more pink.

16. ROGUE EASTSIDE PILOT PUB

928 SE 9th Ave., 503-517-0660, rogue.com. 11 am-11 pm SundayWednesday, 11 am-1 am Thursday-Saturday. THOMAS TEAL

SCOUTING REPORT: When you’ve got Kobe, you’ve got a chance. Rogue defeated Portland Brewing in the play-in round matchup of regional brands with Portland spots. Rogue’s burger is a half-pounder ($13 with chips, fries or tots) made with Kobe-style beef, and has a pleasant gameyness. With typical Rogueishness, the pub calls it the “World’s Greatest Burger.” (It is not.) It’s served on a Pearl Bakery bun, which was dried out by the time we got it just before close, and it’s said to have “wasabi mayo” but that didn’t read for me. 16

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

BURGER BURGERS

THOMAS TEAL

KILLER BURGER

Killer Burger

Stepping Stone

Skyline Restaurant

Little Big Burger

Stanich's

Burger Stevens

Stoopid Burger Lardo PDX Sliders Burgerville Tilt Gastro Mania Burger Guild Dea’s In & Out Helvetia Mike’s Drive-In

There was no name that suited this category better than Burger Burgers. These are the casual din-

4 13

6 11 3 14

7 10 2 15

Fill out your bracket at wweek.com/ madness or fill out all four sections by hand and email pictures to burger@wweek. com.

BURGER BURGER REGIONAL

ers, greasy spoons and places so committed to burgers they put “burger” in their name—classic all-American burgers that might also be a little bit Bulgarian. Taster Sophia June ordered the most popular burger at each spot, which ranged from Killer Burger’s peanut butter-pickle-bacon burger to a jumbo three-quarter-pounder. No one asked how she wanted the burgers cooked: They’re burger burgers. The bracket was seeded based on reputation and our previous experience with these places. This was a crowded regional, and some potential contenders were, sadly, left out of the big dance.

1. KILLER BURGER

510 SW 3rd Ave., 503-946-8946, killerburger.com. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-midnight Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A peanut butter-pickle-bacon burger from the restaurant that promised bacon on every single burger. When Killer Burger opened in 2010, Portland was in the midst of a bacon obsession. So when a new burger joint on Sandy Boulevard promised bacon on every single burger, $5 AMFs and metal music, it was crazy popular. “It’s not fancy, folks—just killer,” WW wrote back then. Seven years later, Killer Burger has nine locations, from Eugene to Vantucky. And its most famous burger is still so fucking good—a peanut butter-pickle-bacon burger, with peanut-butter sauce, bacon, smoky house sauce, mayo, grilled onion and pickle ($9.75 with fries). It’s the kind of burger you feel like you’re making out with—getting so lost in it you don’t realize you haven’t talked to anyone in 10 minutes and you’re left wiping peanut-butter sauce off your face with a sweetness still on your tongue. CONT. on page 19

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

pearl district • nw 23rd • se division sw waterfront • ne alberta • n mississippi se hawthorne • eugene • lloyd district progress ridge & orenco station coming soon

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

BURGER BURGERS 2. HELVETIA TAVERN

10275 NW Helvetia Road, Hillsboro, 503-647-5286. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A farm-country tavern with a heifer of a burger.

HELVETIA TAVERN

STOOPID BURGER

THOMAS TEAL

R A C H E L R E N E E L E VA S S E U R

Besides being one of the places where you’re most likely to have a celeb sighting in Oregon—it’s two minutes away from the Trump-supporting Roloff Family Farm of Little People Big World—the nearly century-old big red barn with hundreds of hats hanging from the ceiling is also the home of the famous Jumbo Burger ($9.75). With two thin beef patties, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and mayo stacked inside a giant bun, the whole thing is like a Big Mac the size of your face…if your face were maybe a little bigger.

3. TILT

1355 NW Everett St., Suite 120, 503-894-9528, tiltitup.com. 7 am-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 7 am-midnight Friday-Saturday.

4. STOOPID BURGER

SCOUTING REPORT: Vaguely blue-collar-themed Pearl District black box that makes 14 different burgers. Tilt is kind of like that level of Super Smash Bros. with Metal Mario—all metallic, with black walls and floors, and completely out of place with every single thing around it. The Pearl location of the “blue collar-inspired restaurant and bar brand” consists seemingly entirely of bro tourists and Wieden+Kennedy “creatives.” The signature burger, the Big Tilt ($11), piles on two chuck patties, bacon, egg, American cheese, pickles, tomato, onion, lettuce, Tilt sauce and a three-layer bun, which means that it’s literally impossible to fit in your mouth. You’re so simultaneously afraid of losing it all and wanting to taste it all that you don’t put it down. Even just grasping it is difficult, but once you get past the initial four bites, which are really just carving your space, you get to fully dive in, and all the work is worth it.

5. STANICH’S

4915 NE Fremont St., 503-281-2322, stanichs.com. 11 am-10 pm Wednesday-Thursday, 11 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday, 11 am-9 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A burger at Stanich’s, a local landmark since 1949, was named one of the 10 best in the nation by Thrillist last year. When Michael Jordan came to Portland, he went to Stanich’s, a 67-year-old tavern on Northeast Fremont covered in sports paraphernalia and quotes about not monopolizing the conversation at the bar. With luck, he ordered the Special ($8), which Stanich’s advertises as “The World’s Greatest Hamburger,” with fresh ground chuck, cheese, ham, bacon, egg, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, ketchup, mayo and a creamy house sauce. The bun is buttered and warm, the lettuce shredded and fresh, and the tomato and onion thinly sliced and crisp. The egg is plopped on the bacon, which is plopped on

3441 N Vancouver Ave., 971-801-4180, stoopidburgerpdx.com. 11 am-9 pm Monday-Friday, noon-9 pm Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Named one of our top five food carts two years ago, it’s made by two dudes in a cart off North Williams and features four kinds of meat. Everything about this burger is stupid, and Stoopid Burger knows it. No other cart is as self-aware as this one, where the classic burger is called the Boring Burger and the veggie burger is the Smart Burger. But there’s nothing as stupidly good as the Stoopid Burger ($11.75), which comes with salty, hot fries served in a paper bag. It’s got beef, bacon, ham, a hot link, and egg, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and pickles, for God’s sake. If you want more, you always will. Although you’ll be unable to get everything in your mouth for the first few bites—it’s served basically like a taco, it’s so full—every bite stands on its own as a thing of wonder.

a slice of ham, which is plopped on a patty. And besides having too much mustard, it’s all fucking great.

6. PDX SLIDERS

1605 SE Bybee Blvd., 971-717-5271, pdxsliders. com. 11 am-9 pm Sunday-Wednesday, 11 am-11 pm Thursday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Noted food magazine National Geographic called PDX Sliders’ the fourth-best burgers in the world. They’re sixth seed here. Life’s funny like that. This popular food cart makes little burgers and normal-sized burgers and has now taken over the former Cha Cha Cha space in Sellwood. The Sellwood burger ($9) has beef, bacon, Beecher’s aged cheddar, caramelized onions, butter lettuce and aioli on a brioche bun. It’s dripping with grease, and though the aioli is tasty and salty, it wilts the butter lettuce, which becomes more of a paste by the end.

7. BURGER GUILD

6200 SE Milwaukie Ave., 971-373-3848, theburgerguild.com. 11:30 am-7 pm WednesdayFriday, noon-7 pm Saturday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Known for a kalamata-stuffed burger and a Midwestern pork tenderloin that pours out of the bun. This cart is famous for stuffing its burgers with blue cheese, kalamata olives, Muenster, feta and so much more—not to mention its Midwestern pork tenderloin sandwich ($9), which has a massive, handpounded, seasoned and breaded pork chop that the bun merely sits atop of, like a party hat on an adult. On our most recent visit, we were told the most popular was the jalapeño and cheddar burger ($9), with onion rings, lettuce, tomato, and cart-made barbecue sauce. Unfortunately, every part of it was dry, and the wheat bun masked the flavor of jalapeño.

8. SKYLINE RESTAURANT

1313 NW Skyline Blvd., 503-292-6727, skylineburgers.com. 11 am-9 pm daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: Since 1945, this old-school diner in the West Hills has been making burgers and shakes. Besides being directly adjacent to a vacant house where we went to parties in high school, Skyline has long been a casual stop on the way home for West Hills families, and a treat at the end of a trek for everyone else. The shakes are where it’s at; the burgers were OK. The thin patty of the Skyline Hamburger ($5.75) was nicely charred, but a huge chopped chunk of too-cold iceberg lettuce and far too much cold, diced onion fell out of the classic sesame bun. CONT. on page 20

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

BURGER BURGERS 9. LITTLE BIG BURGER

122 NW 10th Ave., 503-274-9008; 930 NW 23rd Ave., 971544-7817; 3747 N Mississippi Ave., 503-265-8781; 2038 NE Alberta St., 503-206-4997; 2028 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 971254-4421; 3810 SE Division St., 503-841-6456; 3704 SW Bond Ave., 503-265-8021; littlebigburger.com. Northwest locations: 11 am-10 pm daily. All others: 11 am-9 pm daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: Small burgers with fancy cheeses. Micah Camden and Katie Poppe (Blue Star Donuts, Boxer Ramen) first opened Little Big Burger in 2010, and quickly expanded to eight locations, including one in Eugene, before selling it to the owners of Hooters in 2015. The patty on the cheeseburger ($4.25, I chose chevre over blue, Swiss and pepperjack) was pretty pink, and though you do get a couple great bites, the most enjoyable parts are when you get huge, salty spreads of chevre—and also when you dip the burger in the fry sauce, which has something amazing going on. At Little Big Burger, the magic is in the sauce.

10. DEA’S IN & OUT

JOIN US FOR A PFRIEM

MEGAN NANNA

Various locations, burgerville.com.

SCOUTING REPORT: Oregon-based fast-food chain with delicious seasonal milkshakes and local ingredients. A Portland childhood isn’t complete without Burgerville. Whether you’re grabbing burgers before a show at the Rose Garden or after a rec soccer game, it’s always been there as the Northwest’s solution to In-N-Out Burger (not to be confused with Dea’s In & Out above). Only it doesn’t really come close to In-N-Out. On our visit, we found the Pepper Bacon Cheeseburger ($5.29) to be salty and heavy on the mayo, making that huckleberry milkshake all the more necessary.

12. BURGER STEVENS

6238 SW Capitol Highway, 971-279-7252, burgerstevens. com. 11 am-7 pm daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: A food cart in deep Southwest Portland sets up shop next to Wilson High School, and uses Franz buns. When Burger Stevens opened last summer, WW called it “one of the better cheeseburgers in Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

The food cart that’s turned into a fatty sandwich empire makes some good sandwiches, like the porchetta, which is so oily it makes you break out around your mouth. The double burger ($10) had globs of mayonnaise stuck to it and tasted like someone accidentally dropped it in the ocean. Also, the bun was whole wheat for some reason.

When its old food-cart pod was snatched up by developers, Bulgarian chef Alex Nenchev moved his food to a brick-and-mortar in Slabtown. WW called it the very best spot in the neighborhood to get lunch and called the foie gras burger “a thing of ridiculous luxury.” The price back then was under $10, but $13 with salad still feels cheap. It’s got the perfect amount of moisture and savor, with a generous portion of foie gras from Canada geese. And for now, it may be the only foie gras burger in town: St. Jack’s formerly foie’d burger now comes with bacon.

15. MIKE’S DRIVE-IN

11. BURGERVILLE

SCOUTING REPORT: Popular sandwich restaurant known for lots of fat makes a burger with porkstrami.

SCOUTING REPORT: One of the city’s best new Mediterranean restaurants serves a burger with foie gras.

The original Dea’s first opened on Southeast Powell Boulevard in 1953. It moved to Gresham in 1976, added a drive-thru window and copyrighted the Longburger, the rectangular patty for which it’s best known. On our visit, the patty was a little chewy and had too many diced onions covered in excess mayo, and the bun seemed like a sweet, bready hot-dog bun.

1205 SW Washington St., 503-241-2490; 1212 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-234-7786; lardosandwiches.com. West: 11 am-10 pm daily. East: 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

1986 NW Pettygrove St., 503-689-3794, gastromaniapdx. com. 11 am-8 pm Monday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Hyped Gresham drive-thru with a classic diner vibe serves burgers with rectangular patties, called Longburgers.

BURGER STEVENS

13. LARDO

14. GASTRO MANIA

755 NE Burnside Road, Gresham, 503655-3439. 5:30 am-11 pm daily.

TAP TAKEOVER

town.” This was thanks to cart owner Don Salamone’s choice of Franz buns, which he describes as having almost “a Ritz cracker taste” and his selection of beef, a custom 70-30 beef-fat blend from Ponderosa Provisioners. Seven months later, the cheeseburger ($7) still holds up. The bun was the best we ate in our bracket.

3045 SE Harrison St., Milwaukie, 503-654-0131, mikesdrivein.com. 10 am-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 10 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday, 11 am-10 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Beloved old-school Milwaukie drive-in that first opened in 1971. Along with being ready in less than five minutes, Mike’s burgers are nearly perfect. The patty on the Mike’s Special ($6.85) is nicely charred, though a little overcooked. The bun melts away as it soaks in the oils and flavors of everything inside, particularly the fatty, chewy bacon that’s left. It’s also got shredded iceberg lettuce, sliced tomato and onion, fry sauce soaking into the bun, and a glorious strip of bacon peeking out, with a dollop of hot cheese sticking to the side, and a drop of oil falling on your lap.

16. STEPPING STONE

2390 NW Quimby St., 503-222-1131, steppingstonecafe. com. 6 am-7 pm Monday-Tuesday, 6 am-9 pm WednesdayThursday, 6 am-3 am Friday, 7:30 am-3 am Saturday, 7:30 am-9 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Slabtown diner with the motto “You eat here because we let you” serves breakfast, lunch, dinner and glasses of Champagne. When you are served the One Eyed Jack Burger ($9 with fries), it looks sort of like biscuits and gravy. Atop an overcooked fried egg is a blanket of melted, lumpy jack cheese. After biting into the burger, you kinda wish you just ordered biscuits and gravy. Something about the bacon and melted jack cheese is just wrong, but it’s still nice to just be at Stepping Stone, where the staff is never that nice, but in a really good way.

THOMAS TEAL

SLOW BURGER

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BAR REGIONAL

Taster Matthew Korfhage ate a lot more pub burgers than the ones on this list to arrive at the 16 vying for the prize here—and he’s eaten some of these burgers many, many, many times. Seeds were assigned by fame, longevity or reputation. If asked, he ordered each burger “as the house prefers,” and favored simple over stacked—with emphasis on balance of parts and the strange pull of memory that sometimes makes cheap ingredients taste better than fancy ones. But

Slow Bar

Tabor Tavern

Interurban

C Bar

Sandy Hut

Expatriate

Bar Bar

Free House

Tannery Bar

Pop Tavern

Red Fox

Backyard Social

Tryst

Grain & Gristle

Parasol Bar

Doug Fir Lounge

BAR BURGERS

stacked is stacked and fancy is fancy, and sometimes both are amazing.

1. SLOW BAR

533 SE Grand Ave., 503-230-7767, slowbar.net. 11:30 am-2:30 am daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: Portland’s most-loved dive-bar burger, towering with onion rings and beef. You don’t eat the Slow Burger slowly. The first thing you do is mash its pair of inch-tall beerbattered onion rings into its thick slab of melted Gruyere and half-pound Columbia River Reserve beef patty, thus compacting the juiciness of meat and pickle relish and house aioli into a fat-acid stew somehow contained by its toasted sesame bun. And then you never put it down. Otherwise, you risk losing it all, like the guy who made too many wishes on a leprechaun. Do you need a halftime break? Cut it in half. Since Slow Bar opened in 2004, it has been known to every bartender in town for stiff drinks, deep booths, a jukebox stacked with metal and that towering Slowburger ($12 with fries), cooked on a flat-top seasoned over time into something that might even be subtlety. Have you had the Slowburger only at Slowburger, at the

Ocean food mall on Northeast Glisan Street? Then you haven’t had the Slowburger. No other burger is more deserving of the top seed in our rankings. It is the unholy monster of Portland bar burgers, the behemoth that made even fancy-restaurant burger-makers take note. And yes, its towering construction makes it tenuous. Thrillist’s national burger critic, Kevin Alexander, declared it too unwieldy for his presumably tiny hands. But Portland is not a welcome place for short-fingered vulgarians.

2. PARASOL BAR

215 SE 9th Ave., 503-239-8830, parasolbar.com. 5 pm-2 am daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: The pork belly-topped follow-up to the cult favorite Biwa burger. The Biwa burger had a cult following, in part because of its elusiveness. Served only at happy hour, its recipe changed multiple times without dimming its popularity. Chef Gabe Rosen’s new bar Parasol, in the old Biwa (which is now around the corner), serves the porkbellied stepchild of the Biwa burger every hour it’s open. Like a sports franchise that moved to a different city but still has all the talent, Parasol keeps its No. 2 seed. The Parasol burger ($9) is a mountain of fast-caramelized patty, pork belly, multiple kinds of quick-pickled veg

and butter lettuce on a bun toasted to a slight char, a stack of lightly sugary umami with enough salt that we wrongly thought it had been marinated in soy sauce. It is a worthy successor, though a bit loose with the sodium.

3. RED FOX

5128 N Albina Ave., 503-282-2934, redfoxpdx.com. 3 pm-1:30 am daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: The blue-cheese burger dream of drunks. Red Fox is a bar whose burger ($10 with fries) is legend in North Portland, but almost unknown outside of it. This tiny spot near Mississippi Records, popular among old-school indie rockers and writers, is home to a neighborhood blue-cheese-burger fave so entrenched that the bar’s owners would pretty much prefer that drunk locals stop rolling in late to sop up their booze with it. The secrets to its success are Worcestershire sauce, a grill more seasoned than its Painted Hills beef, and judicious application of blue cheese along with three crisp sheets of lettuce. On our most recent visit, the tomato was almost shockingly fresh—ripe and red for a winter month. When the Red Fox burger is perfect, dear Lord, it is perfect. But there are many cooks in the kitchen, leading to occasional inconsistency. CONT. on page 22 Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

BAR BURGERS 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895, mississippistudios.com/ bar-bar. 11 am-2 am daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: The no-frills burger fueling a fine music venue. Bar Bar’s classic burger is a wadded-up and wonderful thing, shrouded in a squishy potato bun from Italian bakery Alessio. It contains shredded lettuce for perfect sauce delivery, Painted Hills beef and a combination of special sauce and housemade ketchup that comes off like spiced molasses. It is like fast food, but better: There’s just enough lettuce crunch to counteract mushiness, and a sneakily beautiful balance of acid, fat and salt. And at $6, it’s the cheapest burger on the bar list. Perhaps this burger is not as ambitious or pedigreed as some—but neither is your mom, and you maybe still love her.

5. SANDY HUT

1430 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-235-7972. 2 pm-2:30 am MondayFriday, 10:30 am-2:30 am Saturday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: An old-school revival burger in an old-school revival bar. The nearly century-old Sandy Hut’s Skinny Man is “burger” the same way the newly rehabbed Hut itself is “dive bar”— an archetypal quotation of the form. The actual meal to get at the Hut is the $14 Wednesday prime rib, but for a mere $7, the Skinny Man is lettuce, tomato, onion and cheddar on a quarter-pound patty and toasted bun, with Thousand Island sauce the menu says has a million islands in it. In its simplicity, it offers nostalgia more visceral than the Al Hirschfeld mural on the wall. But its success depends on sauce distribution and char that can vary.

and cilantro-jalapeño queso fresco, along with pickled jalapeños and aioli. Interurban is also one of too-few Portland bar burgers with fried rather than raw onions. The result is a spicyfatty monstrosity with the fattiness and gaminess of boar: Instant winner. Only one thing, though. There’s enough pig’s blood in that burger to bathe Milo Yiannopoulos.

9. C BAR

2880 SE Gladstone St., 503-230-8808, cbarportland.com. 4 pm-2:30 am Monday-Friday, 10 am-2:30 am Saturday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A towering burger in an old-school pinball bar. Once known as the waiting room for Yoko’s sushi next door, this labyrinthine Southeast Gladstone Street bar added not only the city’s best-stocked pinball room outside of Quarterworld—like American Splendor with plungers and noise—but a digital tap list and decent pub grub. The C Bar Burger ($11 with fries, soup or salad) is a mountainous grill-charred beef patty piled high with thick onion and tomato. Its bitter arugula fronds transform the copious mayo into yogurt somehow, making the whole production feel much like a gyro. It’s an odd, but oddly addictive combo.

GRAIN & GRISTLE

THOMAS TEAL

4. BAR BAR

6. TANNERY BAR

5425 E Burnside St., 503-236-3610, tannerybarpdx.com, 4 pm-1 am Monday-Saturday, 9 am-2 pm Saturday-Sunday.

7. TRYST

19 SW 2nd Ave., 503-477-8637, bartryst.com. 4 pm-2:30 am Wednesday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A subtly Asian-inflected burger at the old Berbati’s Pan. Ankeny Alley spot Tryst, in the old Berbati’s space, is a homey bar with a friendly owner who’s almost always there slinging drinks. There’s a healthy smattering of ’90s-style Asian fusion on the menu—and this includes the burger ($12 with fries). But the accents are subtle, with the chili-garlic of hoisin submerged into the aioli, and sichuan pepper infused into crisp house pickles. The fried shallots come off like grilled onions. And that beef is beefy as fuck. Turns out Asian flavors on a burger are downright all-American, and this is a fine burger. The $7 happy hour price tag is a privilege.

8. INTERURBAN

4057 N Mississippi Ave., 503-284-6669, interurbanpdx.com. 3 pm-2:30 am Monday-Friday, 10 am-2:30 am Saturday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A pig burger on Mississippi Avenue. Interurban has better than decent taps, $5 happy-hour cocktails and a killer burger. The boar burger ($12)is cooked medium rare the way pork usually can’t be, topped with Los Roast Hatch chiles 22

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

5424 NE 30th Ave., expatriatepdx.com. 5 pm-midnight daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: Naomi Pomeroy does Quarter Pounders. Beast chef Naomi Pomeroy’s mixology bar Expatriate serves delicate Asian-style treats like Burmese tea-leaf salad alongside onion-butter James Beard tea sandwiches. But Expatriate now has a hilariously faithful rendition of the Quarter Pounder, except way richer and served medium rare: a thick pasting of American cheese on much better beef than you get at Mickey D’s, topped with Heinz and French’s and a sliver of raw onion between that perfect Elmer’s Glue gluten-pasted bun. It’s dime-store poetry— delivered, albeit, at $13 a pair.

13. FREE HOUSE

1325 NE Fremont St., 503-946-8161, freehousepdx.com. 4 pm-midnight daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: A fine, simple burger at a Northeast Portland bar that does most things well. Fremont Street’s Free House is a place of resolute middlebrow comforts. There are fancy hot dogs, shoestring fries, house ketchup, and a pleasant half-covered patio. And there is a reasonably priced $9 burger with an expertly toasted bun, very seasoned meat and mild-spiced sauce, plus a thick slab of Tillamook hard-welded to the patty. Along with a side of house chips, the burger comes with quick-pickled cukes to counteract the burger’s dryness. But while the meat tastes perfectly seasoned all by itself, the salt builds up.

14. BACKYARD SOCIAL

1914 N Killingsworth St., 503-719-4316, backyardsocialpdx.com. Noon-midnight daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: A grill-burger cookout at a bar with a hell of a patio.

SCOUTING REPORT: A food-forward bar with a big-ass burger. Tannery Bar is a little cocktail chalet at the edge of Tabor with a record player in the back and a focus on well-sourced meat and cheese. Its burger is a giantess—a 6-inch-tall stack of big beef, fluffed lettuce, meaty tomato, copious raw onion, goat-milk cheddar, sweet onion compound and bacon. But the burger is $16 with fries, which means the thing better be Rembrandt on a bun, and thick offseason tomato and abundant raw onion are trouble spots. The bun is thrown in an oven rather than grill-toasted, making it too hot to touch on top but undertoasted on the bottom. This burger may have a hill to climb.

12. EXPATRIATE

10. GRAIN & GRISTLE

1473 NE Prescott St., 503-288-4740, grainandgristle.com. Noon-midnight Monday-Friday, 9 am-3 pm and 5 pm-midnight Saturday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A gastropub burger with Hawley Ranch beef that is butchered and grinded in-house. I feel like a fool. I have eaten at Grain & Gristle for years, but never ordered the burger ($12 with fries). The ingredients are as simple as a scratch-made pie: The thick half-pound patty of medium-rare beef comes from a line of Herefords cultivated since 1856 at Oregon’s Hawley Ranch, butchered by sister restaurant Old Salt in Cully and fresh-ground each day. The pickles are housemade, as is the garlic-lemon aioli. The bun is baked by Grain & Gristle’s former in-house baker, the green lettuce shocked in frigid water for crispness. And that’s the end of the ingredient list. It is simplicity as virtue, with all things made only for their purpose in this burger.

11. POP TAVERN

825 N Killingsworth St., 503-206-8483. 2 pm-2:30 am daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: Simple pub burger from the Kassapakis family that made the original Bonfire and Hilt burgers. Pop Tavern is full of kitsch, but no trivia. The No Dice is a pub burger made the way a dive-bar burger should be—a half-pound utility burger devoted to simplicity, with a touch of grill char. The smashed patty is medium-cooked, with onion and tomato sliced thin enough to get crunch and juice without distraction, the lettuce shredded for maximum sauce dispersal. It ain’t Mozart, but it’s $6.50 with crinkle fries—which is the purest music our ears know.

Edenic patio spot Backyard Social serves the only burger on this list actually cooked on a backyard grill. The $10 Backyard Burger is a tall stack with creamy “awesome sauce” and American cheese sweltering over an almost ovoid 5-ounce patty, sitting on a bed of mini greens and thick-cut house pickles. Both patty and bun are nicely grill-kissed—though the burger arrived medium well and less seasoned than some, which doesn’t bode well.

15. DOUG FIR LOUNGE

830 E Burnside St,, 503-231-9663, dougfirlounge.com. 7 am-2 am daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: The original vagina-named burger at Portland’s original Eastside edifice. Ah, the Fir Burger: Your name is so gross. When I tell people I’m going to eat one, they look terrified. But back when Doug Fir stayed open till 4 am, the bacon-topped Fir Burger ($9) was famous. It comes charred outside and juicy inside, with tangy mayo and lightly pickled, crisp onions and cukes stacked onto its brioche bun. Still, Tillamook cheese comes hard-welded to a patty that’s a bit dense and underseasoned—and damn if that ain’t a lot of arugula.

16. TABOR TAVERN

5325 E Burnside St., 503-208-3544, tabortavern.com. 11 am to 11 pm Monday-Wednesday, 11 am-midnight ThursdaySaturday, 10 am-11 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Arugula! Bacon jam! Blue cheese! Brioche! The ’90s! The Tabor Burger ($13 with fries, soup or salad) is precisely what would happen if a hamburger got attacked by an episode of Frasier: arugula, brioche bun, blue cheese and bacon jam. But it comes together better than expected— a balance of fat against salt and bitterness, rather than acidity. But is it weird I sometimes feel I’m eating a Cobb salad?

BISTRO BURGERS Walking into Portland’s best restaurants and ordering the burger can feel a little boorish. But if you

want to sample most of the city’s best burgers, that’s what you’re going to have to do. Taster Nick Zukin is Portland’s original burger critic. In 2010, when fancified burgers

were still a new trend and the city’s chefs were in an arms race to make the best, Zukin ate 72 bistro burgers across Portland for a landmark story we called BurgerQuest. That piece—written when Zukin was an opinionated blogger and not yet the owner of Mi Mero Mole Mexican restaurant—remains the definitive survey of Portland burgers. But seven years is a long time, and seven of the 10 burgers Zukin picked for the top 10 are now gone. So we asked him to reprise that project for Burger Madness. He started by trying over bistro burgers across greater Portland to arrive at the top 16. He ordered all of them medium when doneness was an option. Cheese was also always added, usually blue or something similarly pungent. Whatever came on the side—onions, pickles, lettuce, what have you—was also put on the burger. Except Heinz ketchup. That’s disgusting.

LE PIGEON

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BISTRO REGIONAL

Le Pigeon

Allium

SuperBite

Roost

La Moule

Bamboo Sushi

Toro Bravo

Serratto

Laurelhurst Market

Irving Street Kitchen

Paley’s Place

23 Hoyt

Clyde Common

Cafe Castagna

Trifecta

Meriwether's

1. LE PIGEON

738 E Burnside St., 503-546-8796, lepigeon.com. 5-10 pm daily.

NASHCO

SCOUTING REPORT: The city’s most iconic burger, from the best restaurant in the city. If you sit at the bar at Le Pigeon, you can get the rare experience of chatting with a two-time Beard Award-winning chef while he makes you a burger ($18, including gratuity and butter-lettuce salad) as good as any of the fancier stuff on the menu. Be warned, though: Gabe Rucker’s trademark burger is messy. The juicy grilled patty, ground in-house daily, is topped with melted aged white cheddar, twice-grilled pickled red onions, and an iceberg slaw. The ciabatta bun takes razor-sharp teeth to make sure the whole thing doesn’t end up in your lap, but a Franz bun would dissolve on contact with this delicious monstrosity. A little horseradish in the mustard on the bun makes sure your olfactory is clear to enjoy such a well-crafted sandwich. Le Pigeon’s burger is legend. It’s been listed among the best burgers in America by national food media and among the “12 Wonders of Portland Food” by WW. So it’s an easy pick for the top seed. But this contest puts its fate in the hands of one man, and that man has previously ranked it sixth best in the city, below the burgers at Toro Bravo and Foster Burger. Walking into Portland’s best restaurants and ordering the burger can feel a little boorish. But if you want to sample most of the city’s best burgers that’s what you’re going to have to do. CONT. on page 24

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

BISTRO BURGERS

2. TRIFECTA

5. LA MOULE

726 SE 6th Ave., 503-841-6675, trifectapdx.com. 5-9 pm Monday, 5-10 pm Tuesday-Thursday, 4-10:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 4-9 pm Sunday.

2500 SE Clinton St., 971-339-2822, lamoulepdx.com. 5 pm-midnight daily.

cigarette. But the real MVP of this meatwich is a secret sauce as good as any on this list: crunchy, bright and creamy.

SCOUTING REPORT: A brie burger from a spot known for Belgian-style mussels and frites.

8. SUPERBITE

SCOUTING REPORT: Pimento cheese and housemade bun made by one of the city’s most talented bakers.

St. Jack is chef Aaron Barnett’s French flagship, but his Clinton Street mussels spot, La Moule, has the heart of a champion, and a better burger ($12, plus $2 for herbed fries). A single, well-seasoned patty sits on a soft, plump Ken’s Artisan bun toasted sufficiently to keep the sandwich together. Two wedges of buttery brie, still creamy even when cooled, join two long slices of Niman Ranch bacon extending from the bun like wings. The burger comes with an unlikely balance of pickled and raw red onions, plus a slather of bracing Dijon to bring out subtleties of the beef and brie.

3. PALEY’S PLACE

1204 NW 21st Ave., 503-243-2403, paleysplace. net. 5:30-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 5-11 pm FridaySaturday, 5-10 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A heavenly slab of grilled onion, with your choice of cheese for a buck. Vitaly Paley has recently branched out into a mini empire of hotel restaurants, but his best burger is at Paley’s original Slabtown restaurant—home to one of Portland’s very first brioche-bun, house-ground bistro burgers when it was introduced at the turn of the millennium. The grilled onion on the Paley’s burger ($15 with fries) is revelatory, a full slab of onion grilled on both sides until caramelized, with an almost translucent and buttery interior. Creamy and bright notes come from mustard aioli and ketchup. But on a recent visit, the patty was undercooked enough it resembled tartare, and the bacon add-on ($1) was hammy and chewy. The accompanying frites, though, would be devoured by discerning locals in the best brasseries in Paris.

6. LAURELHURST MARKET

3155 E Burnside St., 503-206-3097, laurelhurstmarket.com. 5-10 pm daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: Good beef, better burger. Burgers at most of Portland’s best steakhouses offer as much excitement as a deflated basketball. If all you wanted was good beef, get a steak. The balance of flavors is what lets the burger ($15 with fries) at nontraditional steakhouse Laurelhurst Market compete with the best in the city. Tart balsamic onions and house pickles harmonize with the salty-sweet umami hit of bacon and Tillamook aged cheddar cheese. The squishy Fleur de Lis potato bun is grilled thoroughly, making it hold up until the finish. But while the beef is hearty as bison meat—nicely charred yet still juicy—the burger was a little undercooked, and a little short on the housemade herb aioli.

7. CLYDE COMMON

1014 SW Stark St., 503-228-3333, clydecommon.com. 3 pm-midnight daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: Plain old American cheese from Portland’s original hip hotel bar. Nate Tilden’s Clyde Common, at the Ace Hotel, is the selfconsciously hip open kitchen that launched a thousand New York Times photos. But its burger ($8 during happy hour, or $16 off-menu) is one of the most plain on this list—though it’ll swap out to a Texas Rodeo burger as this issue prints. Simplicity isn’t bad—American cheese has many devotees who love the puddingy texture that only comes from milk mixed with sodium citrate, gelatin, and cheese scraps. The meat came well done, but it was nicely seasoned with the old-school griddle crust you’d expect from a guy in a wife beater smoking a

4. TORO BRAVO

120 NE Russell St., 503-281-4464, torobravopdx.com. 5-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 5-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Tangy Catalonian secret sauce on a heap of meat and pickles. Since founding tapas spot Toro Bravo in 2007, chef John Gorham has filed a bistro burger into almost every restaurant, from Tasty n Sons to new Pine Street Market burger spot Bless Your Heart. But if TORO BRAVO Gorham is the Rick Pitino of Portland burgers, Toro Bravo is still his Kentucky Wildcats. The secret to the burger at Toro Bravo ($14) is housemade romesco, the special sauce of Catalonia in northeastern Spain. Alongside bread-and-butter zucchini pickles, that creamy housemade blend of garlic, nut, and roasted red pepper acts as counterpoint to the deep salt and richness of the 6-ounce, grill-caramelized Cascade Natural beef, pungent manchego and housemade bacon. 24

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THOMAS TEAL

One of the newer burgers on this list comes from Ken Forkish’s Trifecta, which opened in 2013 in the former Spike Auto Upholstery. At Forkish’s most upscale restaurant, the most casual entree is still its best dish. The pimento burger ($15 with fries) couldn’t be simpler: Meat, cheese and bread. It’s two Cascade Natural beef patties, a housemade brioche bun, pimento cheese, and a special sauce of aioli, ketchup and fermented dill. That’s it. Melty pimento cheese is a brilliant burger topping, almost like cheese and fry sauce in one. You almost can’t screw it up, and yet two other burgers considered for this list managed to do so.

527 SW 12th Ave., 503-222-0979, superbitepdx.com. 5-10 pm SundayThursday. 5-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A gourmet Big Mac by the maker of the Metrovino burger. Before co-founding Ox steakhouse, Greg Denton cooked up the juicy burger at the now-closed Metrovino, which I judged the best in town for BurgerQuest 2010. At the Dentons’ new small-plate spot, SuperBite, the burger ($16 with steak fries) is no mere bite. It’s two mostly beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun—a gourmet Big Mac. But while the shiitake mushroom ground into the burger adds interesting umami, it comes at the cost of juicy meat. Still, the generous and perfectly melted mix of cheddar and fontina cheese balance out beautifully against tangy special sauce and tart pickle.

9. ROOST

1403 SE Belmont St., 971-544-7136, roostpdx.com. 5:30-10 pm Tuesday-Saturday, 5:30-9 pm Sunday; brunch 10 am-2 pm Saturday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Lots of talent, but no teamwork. The signature sandwich at Belmont neighborhood restaurant Roost isn’t a burger. It’s the fried chicken sandwich served out the side door during lunchtime, cash only. But on paper, the burger ($15.50 with fries) seems like a contender for the elite eight—with an ample, properly cooked beef patty juicy enough to soak through the arugula into the untoasted bun. But the smoked Gouda cheese sauce was too thin, lacking intensity and running off the burger before I even took a bite. And the tomato relish, while deliciously tart and spicy on its own, was spread meagerly. The parts are there; they just need to play better as a team.

10. CAFE CASTAGNA

1758 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-9959, castagnarestaurant.com/cafecastagna. 5-10 pm Tuesday-Saturday, 5-9 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Portland’s original and best house zucchini pickles, on an old-school solid burger. At Cafe Castagna, the casual adjunct to the fancy Hawthorne prix-fixe spot next door, there’s nothing flashy. But for more than a decade, this burger ($13 with fries) has been famous for hitting the fundamentals and for those still-unbeatable breadand-butter zucchini pickles first made famous at the late Judy Rodgers’ famous Zuni Cafe in San Francisco. You’ll see zuke pickles all over town now. The burger arrives naked and cooked precisely to spec, on a slightly sweet, plain brioche from Ken’s Artisan. All toppings are placed on the side, including pristine butter lettuce, onion, tomato (in season) and those great pickles. For $2 each, you can add bacon, sherry-grilled onions and cheese—cheddar, swiss or blue—or add nothing at all. Have it your way. It’ll be a great burger. A fry sauce would be welcome, however.

11. IRVING STREET KITCHEN

701 NW 13th Ave., 343-9440, irvingstreetkitchen.com. 4:30-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 4:30-11 pm Friday-Saturday, 4:30-9:30 pm Sunday; brunch 10 am-2:30 pm Friday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Memphis-style slaw on a mountain of beef. These days, the Pearl District’s Southern-inflected Irving Street Kitchen is as likely to be influenced by the South of France as South Carolina. But the burger ($13 at happy hour) retains a Southern feature that makes it stand out: the sort of beautiful, tangy iceberg slaw that sets off sweet and smoky pulled pork in Memphis. You’ll be lucky if you can get your mouth around the burger’s two overfat patties of beef, topped by a pickle almost as fat— enough to overwhelm the delicate bun. The thin melted cheese on top is an afterthought. The fries, though, are the best steak fries you’re likely to find in Portland—thinner and wider than most, which means more golden brown and delicious potato.

Stree t

12. BAMBOO SUSHI

310 SE 28th Ave., 503-232-5255, bamboosushi.com. 4:30-10 pm daily.

SCOUTING REPORT: A wagyu beef burger from Portland’s sustainable sushi chain. Bamboo Sushi meat always comes with a pedigree. The fish is marked sustainable, while the beef on the popular burger ($14) cries wagyu. That fatty beef makes a juicy burger even if overcooked—which it was here. It also comes with the welcome additions of Japanese-style pickles and momiji sauce on the plate, topped by default with aged cheddar and caramelized onions. However, the bun was dense and dry, and the bland richness of a sumo-style burger adding egg, bacon and fried shallot rings is unlikely to help much.

13. SERRATTO

2112 NW Kearney St., 503-221-1195, serratto.com. 11:30 am-9 pm Sunday, 11:30 am-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 11:30 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A cheddar-bacon burger from a Nob Hill Italian old-schooler. Serratto owners Alex and Julie Bond are into revivals—buying first Saint Cupcake, then old-school steakhouse castle Clyde’s Prime Rib. And the burger at swankier Nob Hill spot Serratto ($16 with fries) comes with tangy-sweet barbecue sauce and allAmerican grill marks on the patty, balancing out the rich saltiness of sharp cheddar and bacon. Matchstick-sized crispy onions add more crunch than any shredded lettuce or slaw. Still, the beef patty was thin and dwarfed by a soft, untoasted bun. LEFT, “NEXT LEVEL BURGER.” RIGHT, “KILLER BURGER.”

14. 23 HOYT

WHERE’S YOUR FAVORITE BURGER?

529 NW 23rd Ave., 503-445-7400, 23hoyt.com. 4-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 4-11 pm Friday, 10 am-11 pm Saturday, 10 am-9:30 pm Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: The finest Bruce Careyburger. Bruce Carey changed Portland dining with Zefiro back in the ’90s. But these days Clarklewis, Bluehour and 23 Hoyt all have a certain elegant sameness about them—and all are known for their burgers. Old Town’s 23 Hoyt has the best of them. The Rogue burger ($16 with fries) is a classic bacon-blue with shredded iceberg lettuce and a decently crusted, lightly seasoned patty. The bacon is plentiful, and the smoky blue cheese from Rogue is both saucy and assertive. Chopped, caramelized onions are tart and sweet, and the buttery sesame-seed brioche is light, sturdy and well-toasted.

LOOKS WE LIKE. “LARDO.”

PHOTOS BY CHRIST IN E DON G

15. MERIWETHER’S

2601 NW Vaughn St., 503-228-1250, meriwethersnw.com. 11 am-9 pm Monday-Friday, 9 am-9 pm Saturday-Sunday.

SCOUTING REPORT: A country-club burger shy on tang. When 1 percenters say something like they’re going to lunch at “the club,” they mean somewhere that looks and feels like Meriwether’s, where Bunk’s Tommy Habetz once cooked—a sprawling edge-of-West Hills chalet with seas of tablecloths and a waterfountained garden bower. And the Meriwether’s burger ($16, plus $1 for cheddar) looks great, with a brioche bun sopping up the juices of a properly pink patty topped with plenty of bacon and several rings of nearly translucent grilled onions. But the flavors don’t sing. The meat is underseasoned, the cheese is thin, and the pepper relish is disappointingly subtle, with no acid to make the flavors pop.

16. ALLIUM

LEFT, “KILLER BURGER.” RIGHT, “SLOW BURGER.”

1914 Willamette Falls Drive, West Linn, 503-387-5604, alliumoregon.com. 4-9 pm Sunday-Thursday, 4-10 pm Friday-Saturday.

SCOUTING REPORT: Burger pride of the ’burbs. Tucked next to a plastic surgeon’s office on West Linn’s main drag, Allium is helmed by Pascal Chureau, founding and closing chef of spectacularly failed restaurant Lucier in 2008. But Frenchinflected wine bar Allium is one of the best eateries in the ’burbs, scooting past Camas’ Roots in the play-in round. The grilled onion, cheddar and lettuce with a bun-soaking Cascade Natural beef patty on Allium’s burger ($14 with fries) should give the restaurant a chance at a serious underdog run. But its tomato jam and aioli don’t have much more zip than regular ketchup and mayo, and the kitchen managed to forget the bacon advertised on the menu.

“JOLLY ROGER.”

“FOSTER BURGER.”

“MCDONALD’S” Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

martin cizmar

Skiing

MY HUMPS FERGI IS OREGON’S SMALLEST AND MOST LAIDBACK SKI AREA. By Ma rtin CizMa r

mcizmar@wweek.com

At Fergi, they say 2 inches feels like 6. Bumper stickers to that effect are sold at Ferguson Ridge Ski Area, just a few miles outside Joseph in the rugged Wallowas of Eastern Oregon. In Portland, six hours west, that might raise a few eyebrows, given this family-friendly spot also offers free access to the bunny hill rope tow so it can get local kids into skiing. Not out here, at Oregon’s smallest and most laid-back ski area. Compared to tiny, volunteer-run Ferguson Ridge, Baker City’s Anthony Lakes looks like Mount Bachelor. There are no fancy triple chairlifts, craft beer bars or Square readers here—just a rope tow, a T-bar and three shacks. Alongside the rental hut, there’s a T-bar operator’s stand with the type of clutter you expect to see at a small-town gas station and the ironically named “Grand Lodge,” which is a tatty traincar-sized shed with a wood-fired stove, Christmas tree lights and a photo of the 1937 Enterprise-Joseph Lions Club. Ferguson Ridge is off the grid—literally. It’s powered by a generator and there’s no cell service or Wi-Fi. All transactions are cash or personal check. If you forget $20 for a lift ticket, it’s a 10-minute drive back to town to the ATM. This has been a very good season at the slope the locals call “Fergi.” They have a base of 30 inches—and if it doesn’t feel like 90, it still feels pretty good thanks to a starting elevation of 5,200 feet and the clear skies of Eastern Oregon. Given climate change, there are no guarantees. Fergi sits just above the normal snowline in the high, dry desert. Joseph gets an annual average 17.56 inches of precipitation, less than half of Portland’s average. “It’s been really good, both in terms of snow and the volume of people skiing,” says Jerry Hustafa, who runs the place. “The ski area is northfacing, so we pretty much keep what we get.” 26

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free elk jerky: Inside fergi’s ski shop.

As he says this, Hustafa is emptying trashcans in the Grand Lodge. Hustafa, who works for the Forest Service as a botanist, is the president of the local Lions Club, which took over this mountain a few years ago. Emptying trash comes with the title. It’s 9:30 am, and his two big white dogs are running around the parking lot as the other volunteers start trickling in. Fergi is open only Saturday and Sunday. The ski shop is manned by Charlie Kissinger, who has laid out vacuum-sealed packets of probable elk jerky on the counter. “I think it’s elk,” he says. “Take some if you want, I’m trying to clean out my freezer.” (I take some; it’s very good.) The T-bar—a tow rope with plastic bars on retractable metal cables that literally drags you up the 640 vertical feet to the top—is also manned by volunteers, who learn their trade a few minutes before opening at 10 am, “give or take 10 minutes.” Mostly, that involves hopping up to pull down the plastic bar on a retractable steel cable and hand it over to a skier, a process not unlike a basketball player leaping up for a rebound and making an outlet pass. That T-bar is secondhand, purchased and reassembled by Fergi’s founders, 10 local families that bought the land off a timber company. “They got it in pieces and were able to put it together and get it working,” Hustafa says. “Between the ranch hands and the commercial fishermen, we’re lucky to have some really, really skilled guys here.” There’s obviously no lodging at Fergi, but you can stay in a heated yurt at Wallowa Lake State Park just a half hour away. There’s even a heated shower room and flush toilets. On my visit, I had the entire park to myself. And here’s the thing: It’s really worth the trip. Because while the terrain is limited, the snow sparse and the frills nonexistent, Fergi is a great place to ski. Bluebird days come in bunches. The snow is dry and powdery, not wet and lumpy like in the Cascades. Those volunteers groom that snow into a smooth carpet. And, obviously, a whole family of four can ski and eat for the price of one person at a Mount Hood resort. I saved that bit for last as a favor. “We like just the right amount of publicity,” Hustafa says, after I introduce myself. “Not too little, we need people, but not too much, since we like it to be laid-back.”

The Bump

WHEN I SIT, I SIT WITH THE ARMY THE TIMBERS’ SEASON STARTS THIS WEEK. HERE’S A PRIMER ON HOW TO PASS AS A MEMBER OF THE ARMY. BY B R A D B O U R Q U E

@CmmrBourque

TAY L O R PA R T E E

If you’re going to catch a Major League Soccer match at Providence Park, you want to sit with the Timbers Army. The loudest part of the park, where supporters stand and scarves swing, provides an unbeatable experience. You’ll sing, chant, share pocket beers and probably end up hugging a stranger. But if you want to roll with the Army, there are some things you should know.

DON’T GET SCALPED…

Portland Timbers tickets are tough to come by. There are more than 10,000 season-ticket holders, and single-game tickets for big games sell out before they’re on sale. Still want to go? Your best bet isn’t the scalpers, but the Timbers Ticket Exchange. This Facebook group will let you swap tickets with other fans at face value. Just make sure to have your PayPal ready, and refresh often for popular matches.

SCARF UP…

If you need a scarf, you can’t go wrong with a classic No Pity, and the only place to get one is at the yellow No Pity van across the street from Providence Park before and after each match.

GO EARLY…

General-admission seating is behind that big block of Tillamook cheddar. Yes, your tickets have seat numbers, but that doesn’t mean anything here. If you want a good seat in the Army, you’ll have to get to the stadium early. Dedicated fans line up early in the morning for wristbands, waiting overnight for the very best seats. If you value your sleep, the gates open two hours before kickoff, and people start lining up an hour or so before. As long as you’re in line at least an hour before the match, you shouldn’t have an issue finding a decent seat.

THIS ARMY IS ORGANIZED…

If this is your first time in the Army, you’ll want to swing by the 107ist table, located in the concourse across from Section 107, to pick up a chant sheet. Standing, yelling and chanting is heavily encouraged in the north end of the stadium, while colorful language is tolerated and appreciated more often than not.

CARDS ARE PREFERRED…

The best way to have the stamina for chanting is to drink some booze. The best place to get that booze is at the Double Post, the bar behind Section 109, where there are 12 beers on tap. Good beers, too: Pfriem, Widmer and HUB. One advantage of joining the 107ist Foundation is getting $1 off each beer before halftime.

GRUB UP…

If you arrive in the first hour gates are open, head to the food-cart alliance in the south corner and the beer booth next to it. A cup of Rolling Rock is only $2, and the food from local carts like Pok Pok, 808 Grinds and Nong’s Khao Man Gai is some of the best in the park and priced similarly to what you’ll find at their other locations.

Three to Watch

Home games we’re excited about in the first half of the season…

VS. MINNESOTA

VS. VANCOUVER

VS. SAN JOSE

In the season opener, the Timbers take on the expansion Minnesota United FC, playing its first MLS match. Minnesota boasts a large support group, the Dark Clouds, so expect a stormy front as it faces off against the raucous Timbers Army.

While we don’t have a chance to gut the fish at home in the first half of the season, the Whitecaps will come to Portland for a hotly contested inter-Cascadia match. Vancouver’s support group, the Southsiders, will be conspicuously absent after deciding to boycott matches in the United States because of President Trump’s immigration policies.

Portland might be scared of earthquakes, but not this one. The Earthquakes spend a lot more time thinking about us than we do about them. San Jose’s often-shirtless Ultras tend to bring trouble wherever they go, as does striker Chris Wondolowski, a skilled goal scorer. It’s always exciting when these teams meet; just make sure the Earthquakes know who our real rival is.

United FC, 6:30 pm Friday, March 3

Whitecaps, 1 pm Saturday, April 22

Earthquakes, 8 pm Friday, June 2

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

STARTERS

PORK MAGAZINE

B I T E - S I Z E D P O RT L A N D C U LT U R E N E W S

NAZI-FREE PORK: Since its founding in 2010, local punk zine Pork has made a habit of printing swastikas and other offensive imagery to antagonize “squares.” That’s led to boycotts and angry comment threads. Not anymore. Publisher Sean Äaberg tells us it’s not the time, since the “national tone” has changed under Trump. “I was raised in a hard-left milieu, so I enjoy getting a rise out of the hard left…but I go for mild provocation,” he says. “Other discussions than that are more pressing right now.” Äaberg converted to Judaism after marrying his wife, who is Jewish, and says the swastikas were about confronting fear upon moving from California to the “Nazi-ridden hellhole” they expected to find in the Northwest. Pork will be swastika-free for the near future. “I respond to what society needs at any given time. When we started, I felt like we needed to give balls back to rock ’n’ roll.” Now? “A different kind of leadership is necessary,” Äaberg says. The next issue of Pork has an “Afro-futurist” vibe. TRANSPLANTS OUT, NATIVES IN: Last week, we broke the news about the closure of Gestalt Haus on Southeast Division Street, an offshoot of a popular San Francisco spot. It’ll be followed by a beer bar called Sessionable, which is exactly what it sounds like. The new place will focus mainly on beers between 2.5 and 5 percent ABV. The concept comes from Keith Madaras, an IT guy, and his buddy John Mankes, who has a wide range of food-service experience but who has never owned a bar. These two beer geeks judge local homebrew competitions, and Madaras has been homebrewing for more than a decade. “I grew up in this neighborhood, and I never thought in a million years I’d have a space in close-in Southeast, let alone on Division,” Mankes says. “We loved the space. That’s really Old Portland—that’s Old Division. It’s nice not just being in the area but being in a building with a little bit of history, and we’re definitely going to respect that.” QUAKE QUACKS: You may have heard we’re entering a period when the Cascadia Earthquake, aka the Really Big One, is more likely. Every 14 months or so, a slow earthquake takes place under Puget Sound lasting two weeks. The phenomenon is called an “episodic tremor and slip,” or ETS, and it puts more pressure on the Cascadia subduction zone. But local scientists say we don’t need to fear. “Until the modeling can tease that out or until we have a big earthquake during an ETS event, that is undetermined,” says research engineer Doug Gibbons of the Pacific Northwest Seismic Network. “There are seven or eight months’ worth of energy released in that tremor event—but it’s not applied as pressure or increased earthquake risk.” That’s another way of saying the “slow slip” has not been shown to increase risk in any credible way. NOISES OFF OFF: Hillsboro theater company Bag & Baggage announced it has canceled the final production of its season, Noises Off, due to a pending sale of the Venetian Theatre, the company’s home for the past decade. “There are no other venues in Hillsboro large enough to take us,” artistic director Scott Palmer told WW back in January. The company’s future at the Venetian has long been uncertain, which is why it purchased a former Wells Fargo building in Hillsboro in 2015 to convert into its own theater. The space is currently under renovation. 28

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1

Mykki Blanco As a rapper, Mykki Blanco wields gender the way Ice Cube brandishes a TEC-9. But on his debut studio album, Mykki, the former Michael Quattlebaum Jr. shows his vulnerable side, opening up about his struggle to make it in New York, his HIV diagnosis and his search for true love— all while continuing to flip rap machismo on its head. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 503-239-7639, holocene. org. 8:30 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Bri Pruett Blows This Joint Bri Pruett, a finalist on WW’s ’s first Funniest Five poll, says goodbye to Portland with a lineup that features a close-knit group of standup comedians: two of Pruett’s Earthquake Hurricane co-hosts, Katie Nguyen and Anthony Lopez, plus You’re Welcome co-hosts Marcus Coleman and Caitlin Weierhauser. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669, portland.heliumcomedy. com. 8 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show.

THURSDAY, MARCH 2 Direct Action People taking to the streets in protest have provided the dominant imagery of early 2017 Portland. Budding Bolsheviks might be interested in longtime organizer L.A. Kauffman’s new book, Direct Action, which provides a history of American activist movements spanning the past 60 years, showing when and how they’ve been successful. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323, powells.com, 7:30 pm. Free.

Get Busy

FRIDAY, MARCH 3

In Circadia Premiere Last summer, choreographer Eliza Larson previewed her contemporary dance project In Circadia, but it’s not until now that the piece is debuting in full. Based on Larson's own experiences with insomnia, In Circadia represents dreams and an irregular REM cycle through a fuse of ballet, floor dance and improvisation. BodyVox, 1201 NW 17th Ave., 503229-0627, elizalarson.com. 8:30 pm. $12-$18.

Trail Blazers vs. Thunder Blazers fans should probably root for the team to tank the rest of the season, but a win against the Zombie Sonics is always nice. Either way, any chance to watch future MVP Russell Westbrook attempt to tear a hole in the space-time continuum with a dunk in person is a gift from the basketball gods. Moda Center, 1 North Center Court St., 503-235-8771, rosequarter.com. 7:30 pm. $21-$113.

The Last Artful, Dodgr Aminé's got Portland hip-hop on the radio, but Dodgr is putting it on the map. With her new album, the moody, melodic Bone Music, the L.A. transplant is turning heads toward the Northwest, while at the same time stepping assuredly “into a lane that’s her’s alone,” as Pitchfork put it recently. She debuts the album live tonight. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 503-286-9449, facebook.com/TheLastArtful. 8 pm. $7 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

WHAT WE'RE EXCITED ABOUT MARCH 1-7

SATURDAY, MARCH 4

Barleywine Fest No one stashes barleywine like Lucky Lab—and as in previous years, the Quimby location will unleash an unholy assembly of 70 malty, caramelinflected high-alcohol beers stretching back to 2010. Note the four-year vertical of Lucky Lab’s own barleywines—they’re making some of the best in town, especially that smooth 2014. Hooo! $15 nets four tasting tokens, with additional tastes $2 each. Lucky Lab Brewing, 1945 NW Quimby St., 503-517-4352, luckylab.com. Noon-10 pm. Starts March 3.

MOGOFest Presents Mic Capes and Donte Thomas Taking place at venues all across town (including Oregon City), this two-day local music showcase features lineups curated by various Portland music luminaries. This one—put together by the minds behind the monthly hip-hop event, the Thesis, and highlighted by powerhouse MCs Mic Capes and Donte Thomas—is perhaps the best of the bunch. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 503-248-4700, startheaterportland.com. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

SUNDAY, MARCH 5 Dekalog Parts 1 & 2 Widely considered one of the best miniseries of all time, each episode of Krzysztof Kieślowski’s 10-part illustration of the Ten Commandments is set in the same Warsaw apartment complex. The NW Film Center screens the first two hourlong installments, based on “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” and “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain,” tonight. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 503221-1156, nwfilm.org. 7 pm. $9. Also March 4.

MONDAY, MARCH 6

Kathleen Dean Moore New novel Piano Tide tells the story of clashing interests in a coastal Alaskan town. Local capitalist Axel looks to enrich himself with natural resources, but a passionate young outsider named Nora stands in his way. The book is Oregon Book Award-winning naturalist Kathleen Dean Moore’s first novel. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800878-7323, powells.com. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, MARCH 7

Lithics As the saying goes, when one great punk club closes, another opens—sometimes the same one, in another part of town. This week, the Know cuts the ribbon on its new location in the former home of indie-rock venue Blackbird with a string of shows, highlighted tonight by nervy Portland postpunk outfit Lithics. The Know, 3728 NE Sandy Blvd., theknowpdx.com, 8 pm. Contact venue for ticket prices. 21+.

The Poe Show Holding a roast for a dead poet is a bit cheeky, but when the poet in question is considered the OG of mainstream goth culture, certain liberties are expected to be taken. Join a coterie of musicians, poets and various other macabre malcontents in celebrating the birthday of Edgar Allan Poe before his dour lifestyle is co-opted even further by a local klatch of mall dwellers. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-5588, cstpdx.com. 7 pm. $5. All ages.

LVL UP With one foot in the East Coast DIY scene and the other in the dorms of weirdo hotbed SUNY Purchase, LVL UP’s calling card is fuzzy, ADD-addled anthems that turn Neutral Milk Hotel’s best ideas up to 11. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895, mississippistudios. com. 8 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. Boogie Nights 20th Anniversary Screening The high-flying days of ’70s porn culture are forever crystallized in this 1997 Paul Thomas Anderson classic, which established the ascendant director as a master of cultural meta commentary and a wrangler of diverse ensemble casts. An attempt at a modern remake would likely be a sad world of cam girls and loners, but we’ll always have Boogie Nights to serve as a not-so-subtle reminder of the, ahem, hard work involved in laying the groundwork for monthly internet subscriptions. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 503-223-4527, mcmenamins.com. 5 pm. $4, $3 kids. Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK CHRISTINE DONG

FEATURE

KEG PICKUP: Day One’s Robby Roda.

One-Month Keg Stand

PORTLAND’S DAY ONE MAY BE THE NATION’S ONLY POP-UP BEER DISTRIBUTOR. BY MATTHEW KORFHAGE

mkorfhage@wweek.com

Robby Roda is like a U.N. airdrop for rare beer. The slight-framed Clackamas High School grad, clad always in a longshoreman’s cap, is the first to make full use of a little-known quirk in Oregon law to bring kegs to Portland from buzzy out-of-state breweries like Los Angeles’ Phantom Carriage and Smog City, Brooklyn’s Other Half, and Phoenix’s Arizona Wilderness—beers rarely seen outside their home cities. Rather than sign full distribution agreements, Roda’s 6-month-old company, Day One Distribution, signs up breweries for just 30 days at a time, using the same license an event promoter might use to bring in beers for a farmhouse ale festival. Roda—Day One is just him, a couple vans and a couple drivers—then sets up tap takeovers at beer bars like Beermongers, N.W.I.P.A. and Bailey’s Taproom. “You can’t do this anywhere else,” says

Thomas Kelley of Southern California’s El Segundo Brewing, whose beers Roda also brings to Oregon. “No one else makes it easy. You call up the OLCC and they say, ‘Oh, yeah, sure. We’ll send you a box of chocolates.’” Consider Day One a pop-up beer distributor—among the only ones in the nation. The same way a Filipino brunch pop-up might do a meal only once a month because it can’t fund or sustain an entire restaurant, Day One can bring in beers for a short time rather than making them commit to Oregon distribution. Each brewery can use the 30-day license twice a year. But Day One is also part of a larger trend in brewing, with smaller distributors springing up to serve the needs of a new wave of hot-item nanobreweries. It’s one of the big trends we’ve noticed while working on our annual Beer Guide, which hits streets this week. “Many of these breweries are small and have no intention of growing, especially the way things are now,” says Jon Brodie of Massachusetts distributor Shelton Brothers, which also specializes in tiny craft breweries. “So by not holding them to any

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sort of minimum or being involved in any decision-making at the brewery, we allow them to fully express their creative vision unimpeded. Many times, larger breweries can be driven by salesmen who need certain volumes or price points to be met.” Roda, for his part, hadn’t intended to become a distributor—he’d been running a clothing store called Orn Hansen with his wife, after working as a bartender in Los Angeles beer bars. He also managed sales for Portland’s Cascade Brewing for a year and a half before the idea for Day One came up. “I was talking to Tom Kelley, one of the owners of El Segundo, and he was chatting about how to get his beer into Portland,” Roda says. But Kelley was not eager to sign with a large distributor. “[Kelley] said, ‘Why don’t you just do it? Why don’t you just get your distributor’s license?’” Roda recalls. After ponying up less than $400 to get a license in Oregon, Roda named Day One after a line of beers El Segundo releases to stores the same day they’re packaged. El Segundo’s launch at Belmont Station last August was one of the biggest sales days for the Southeast Stark Street beer bar and bottle shop in 2016. “We sold 15 cases of bottles,” Kelley says. “I was like, ‘Whoa, this is an animal. We don’t have any stores that do that.’” In part, Roda says, it’s the novelty that causes interest among beer drinkers quick to hop on whatever new, trendy brew comes down the turnpike. “No offense,” Roda tells Kelley later, “but

“PEOPLE IN EUGENE DON’T WANT TO DRINK BEER FROM PORTLAND AND VICE VERSA.” —Dave Mickelson the guy at Belmont, he didn’t think anybody knew who the fuck you were.” Oregon is a particularly tough market for out-of-state breweries, says Dave Mickelson of Seattle-based distributor Great Artisan Beverage, which recently brought Michigan’s Founders and Wyoming’s Melvin Brewing to Oregon. “Oregon is known to embrace the local thing more than anyone else I’ve seen,” Mickelson says. “People in Eugene don’t want to drink beer from Portland and vice versa. Washington beers struggle in Portland; the reverse doesn’t hold true.”

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want to be a partner to a brewery and support them according to their needs, and grow with them. Most don’t have the ability to be here on a regular basis.” That’s true of El Segundo—it can barely handle the needs of Los Angeles. “As you get bigger in the market, you’re dealing with the liquor store on the corner that doesn’t quite get it,” Kelley says. “Your beer might be 90 days on the shelf. I hate that. We just bring enough beer. We’re not trying to compete with Breakside. We try to come in, have a little slice, have a party, and then we’re out.”

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“Breweries that come in here full force, bring a sales rep, and sign with a huge distributor, they make a splash,” Roda says. “But then drinkers see the same beers over and over—it’s been sitting on the shelf for a long-ass time and there’s nothing special. They want to see something new, and then go back and support their local, great brands.” The way Day One does things, a tiny brewery like El Segundo can jump onto taps, sell a bunch of IPA and then disappear for a while. When it comes back with a new crop of beer, customers are excited again. But there’s another reason the pop-up model works for small breweries. Oregon’s beer laws heavily favor distributors. “There are very, very strong franchise laws in Oregon,” Mickelson says. “You’re negotiating a prenup when you negotiate a distribution agreement.” If a tiny brewery doesn’t feel like its distributor is pushing its beers, it’s very difficult to get out of the contract. This leaves a lot of small brewers leery of coming to Oregon, especially on a permanent basis, given the competitive local market. A 30-day relationship becomes very attractive at that point. And so while Roda has signed franchise deals with El Segundo and his old bosses at Cascade Brewing—and is in talks to sign former Fat Head’s brewer Mike Hunsaker’s Grains of Wrath—he says most of the tiny breweries may never sign long-term. “If they decide they really like being in this market, they can get a long-term license for a low amount of dollars,” Roda says. “I

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DRANK EXTRA

the klann clan: Seth (left) and Brad at their farm.

Betting the Farm ONE FAMILY’S QUEST TO ESTABLISH OREGON’S CRAFT-MALT FUTURE.

By Par k e r H a l l

@pwhall

At the end of a long gravel road in the desert plains just east of the Cascades, 3½ million pounds of specially bred barley sleeps in massive multistory silos, waiting to be transformed. Twelve tons at a time, the kernels will spend a week in a massive craft-malting machine—the largest and most technologically advanced in North America—designed and operated by the same family that has cultivated grain on this land for more than 100 years. The final product, Mecca Grade Estate Malt, is among the first of its kind in Oregon: specially bred, uniquetasting barley that’s grown and malted on the same land for brewing and distilling. It’s an idea on which the Klann family has mortgaged its entire 1,000-acre farm. “People like Willamette Valley pinot noir,” says farmer and maltster Seth Klann from inside a reclaimed-wood tasting room at his family’s new facility. “Why couldn’t Central Oregon be known for this kind of malt?” Because of the scale and special facilities required to process barley for brewing, the vast majority of malt still comes from a handful of large conglomerates. “Most of the barley you taste in Oregon beer is coming from Canada and Montana, and it’s typically two varieties,” Klann says, “They grow well, but they’ve also bred all the flavor out of them.” The grain selected by the Klann family is different. A semi-dwarf variety called Full Pint that was bred at Oregon State University, it’s a blend of Czech and Ecuadorian barley that grows perfectly in the drier climates of Central Oregon. Known for its fat, plump kernels, it offers a blend of complex flavors that is unique to our region. “The characteristics of [Klann’s] malt are uniquely his, from the varietal and specific place it was grown,” says Bend brewer Paul Arney, whose boutique brewery, Ale Apothecary, uses Mecca Grade Estate Malt almost exclusively. “That excites me, because the idea of sourcing from specific locations is that they can place their thumbprint on your product.”

The family’s interest in cultivating and malting craft barley began five years ago, when Seth Klann took control of the farm from his father, Brad. A longtime homebrewer, Seth Klann had been malting some of the family’s wheat in his garage for personal use, having previously only been able to buy malted wheat of similar quality from Weyermann Malting in Germany. “That’s what gave me the idea,” he says. “I thought, ‘Why the hell aren’t we making this?’” The Klanns trace their Oregon heritage back to an abolitionist farmer named Henderson Luelling, who brought 1,000 fruit trees from Iowa and planted them on land now occupied by Waverly Country Club in Southeast Portland. Those trees would become the parent stock of the vast majority of Willamette Valley orchards. Even with the large investment required, it wasn’t hard for Seth Klann to convince his father of his plan. Brad Klann himself was a pioneer, spending much of his working life focused on water conservation as one of the first farmers in Central Oregon to use pivoting overhead irrigation. To learn their new trade, the farmers packed up their cowboy boots and flannel and headed to a malting school in Winnipeg, Canada. The Klanns were two of three people there, and soon realized they had bigger dreams than most. “The other guy was from Vermont, and he was malting in a box on a 1-ton scale,” Seth Klann says. Recognizing the enormity of their planned operation—the family cultivated 300 acres of barley last year—the Klanns came up with a design for a higher-capacity malting machine. At big operations like Great Western Malting in Vancouver, Wash., the three steps of malting contract-grown grain occur in different vessels. Grain is steeped in huge vats, germinated in tanks, and then kilned in massive 8-foot-deep trenches that are baked evenly by being turned by giant screws. The Klanns’ malting machine is totally different. Designed and constructed with the help of a local contractor who had previously focused largely on potato fryers,

it’s a stainless-steel box about the size of two shipping containers end to end. Each stage of malting occurs inside the same vessel and, when kilning, it has a grain depth of about 12 inches, with the barley being flipped rather than turned with screws. The final product is similar to the famed hand-turned grains available in Europe. “No one in the world is moving malt like this,” Seth Klann says of his machine. “We wanted to make sure that everything we did was new, and that the flavor would benefit from it.” Everything about his brand is personal. It’s named after hill near the farm—the Mecca Grade—and Klann even designed the brand’s logo based on a photo of a long-passed relative bringing wheat down the hill. Mecca Grade Estate Malt comes in four differently kilned varieties, designed to add an Oregon twist to the finest European-style malts. Pelton, Lamonta, Vanora and Metolius represent takes on Pilsner, Pale, Vienna and Munich malts. Each are named after ghost towns surrounding the Klann farm. Wheat and rye malts, as well as darker-kilned crystal malts, are soon to follow. Even the packaging is detail-oriented: Following a request from the Ale Apothecary’s Arney, every bag was made fully compostable. That’s what it takes to stand out in today’s market. And Mecca Grade doesn’t come cheap. It costs more than twice the wholesale price of malts typically used in Oregon beer. “At the end of the day,” Klann says, “it has to be something special for the brewer to want to take a chance on it.” For people like Conrad Andrus of Portland’s Culmination Brewing, Mecca Grade malt is something he tends to order for particularly important batches, like a recent collaboration beer with the Commons. “We definitely try to use them whenever we’re going after something special,” Andrus says. “They are one of the best maltsters in the United States.” It’s a sentiment echoed by Robin Johnson, head brewer at Deschutes brewpub in Bend. He hopes a craft-malt revolution will develop new and unique flavors in Oregon beer. “We want to help build that niche-malting thing in our industry,” Johnson says, “Seth is such a cool guy, and what he is doing is so interesting. It just blows me away.” After years of research and development, and the farm’s massive transition to barley, there’s a gleam in Brad Klann’s eye when he talks about the future of the family business forged by his son. “If they want that flavor, you’re it,” he says after taking a sip of a Deschutes beer made with Mecca Grade malt. “And that’s something to be proud of.” Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

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MUSIC PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

C O U R T E SY O F FAC E B O O K

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1 Ty Segall, Axis: Sova, Weird Omen

[GARAGE GOD] The feverish clip at which Ty Segall releases albums is both his greatest selling point and his biggest setback. Despite his proliﬁcacy, he rarely ventures outside his comfort zone of turbocharged garage psych. But his choice to employ some familiar faces from his 2016 album, Emotional Mugger, on this year’s Ty Segall may be perceived as a sign that the reckless 29-year-old may ﬁnally be recognizing the value of reining in his wild impulses and sticking with a good thing while it lasts. PETE COTTELL. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-234-9694. 9 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Phantogram, My Body

[ELECTRO-POP] Electro-pop duo Phantogram has made a name for itself collaborating with acts like Skrillex, the Flaming Lips and especially Big Boi. Following multiple features on the former OutKast MC’s Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors, the pair would reach out to him for a more oﬃcial collab in 2015. Under the moniker Big Grams, the trio recorded a well-received EP that presaged Phantogram’s latest release. Three showcases a sound evolving from dreamy synth pop to a more polished production, incorporating dancable beats bordering on hiphop, guitarist Josh Carter’s distorted arrangements, and Sarah Barthel’s emotionally charged vocals. The album’s lead single, “You Don’t Get Me High Anymore,” may be the act’s best work to date. The upstate New York natives seem to have embraced their darker side, while refusing to let mainstream success reinvent them. JASON SUSIM. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 503-225-0047. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages.

Mykki Blanco, Cakes da Killa, SPF666

[HIP-HOP] See Get Busy, page 29. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 503-239-7639. 8:30 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Vince Staples, Kilo Kish

[REGULATOR RAP] One of Long Beach’s most notable contributions to hip-hop since Warren G, Vince Staples spits his truth with a calm and collected swagger. His latest single, “BagBak,” is the title track for Staples’ as yet unreleased album of the same name, set to follow on the heels of 2015’s acclaimed Summertime ’06 and last year’s equally well-received Prima Donna EP. The track is politically charged; Staples addresses racial proﬁling, police brutality and a broken prison system, while also including a special message for the POTUS: “Tell the president to suck a dick because we on now.” JASON SUSIM. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 8 pm. $25. All ages.

THURSDAY, MARCH 2 Ghostface Killah, Pure Powers

[36 CHAMBERS MUSIC] If not the most recognizable member of Wu-Tang Clan, Ghostface Killah might be the most talented, and surely the most proliﬁc—he’s released more than a dozen solo albums since his Ironman debut 21 years ago— though sheer weight of discography inevitably begs diminishing returns. As testament to an increasing facility for performing alongside live instrumental backing, Sour Soul, his 2015 collaboration with Toronto jazzbos Badbadnotgood, seemed both an atmospheric nod to maturation and

dullish waste of inimitable narrative flow. The former Dennis Coles’ best work demands a certain whiff of the epic, and that same year’s Twelve Reasons To Die II—the sequel to his 2013 comic-book-based hip-hopera—welcomed a return to form with cinematic staging, via Luke Cagecomposer Adrian Younge, and a small army of guest stars fresh (Vince Staples, Lyrics Born) and familiar (Raekwon, RZA), fueling another batshit mafia-occult revenge yarn around the legend’s still-thrilling technique. JAY HORTON. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 503-226-6630. 9 pm. $25-$50. 21+.

Rogue Wave, N Lannon

[INDIE ON ’80s] Oakland indie-rockers Rogue Wave taught us long ago that the bursting of the dot-com bubble would be OK, so long as we had their sweet melodies for a soundtrack. Fifteen years later, Zach Rogue and company are reflecting on seminal songs of their youth, specifically the 1980s. The band’s newest offering, Cover Me, takes on everybody from ZZ Top to Cyndi Lauper to Big Country. The unifying thread is Rogue Wave’s signature sleepy sound, a fluffed pillow full of hushed rock and pretty melancholy. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895. 9 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.

FRIDAY, MARCH 3 MOGO Music Festival

[VARIOUS] Remember when a particular local music festival required patrons to trek around to different venues? It was a huge part of what made that festival fun to begin with. Now that the structure of it has changed, attendees have been left with the boring prospect of staying at one location all day. In the spirit of adventure, the nomadic concertgoer can now enjoy MOGO Fest, the newest entry to Portland’s log of festivals. In its second year, MOGO takes more than 60 acts from the metro area and places them at 12 different venues around town over a two-night span. Sponsored by J-Fell Presents, Vortex magazine, XRAY.fm and the Portland Radio Project, each MOGO Fest show is put together by a different curator, to ensure there’s a little something for everyone. Country and Americana fans can thank Westicana Presents for booking Scott Pemberton and the Jackaloupe Saints, the Thesis for suggesting Mic Capes and Blossom, and Veronica Booking for giving us Cambrian Explosion and the Pynnacles, plus so much more. For detailed info on locations, billed performers and the curators that chose them, visit mogofest.com. CERVANTE POPE. Multiple venues. 7 pm. $5-$15. See mogofest.com for complete lineup.

Jens Lekman, Lisa/Liza

[SWEDE EMOTION] Lovelorn crooner Jens Lekman still doesn’t seem to be completely over the breakup his last record focused on. The good news is that on his new LP, Life Will See You Now, he aims his narrative point of view outward and describes the earnest mundanities of his friends and neighbors when he’s not lost in nostalgic reverie for his beloved. Musically, it could be his tropicália Graceland, incorporating an eclectic range of inﬂuences from exotic island locales. But it’s Lekman’s candor and wit that earn him a permanent place among the downtrodden troubadour elite, alongside the likes of Jonathan

CONT. on page 34

Back to Black YOU’VE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF KING BLACK ACID. THAT MIGHT BE A GOOD THING. BY PETE COTTELL

pcottell@wweek.com

Unless you’re a film-score nerd, the chances of King Black Acid showing up on your radar in the past 15 years are slim. With the exception of a handful of songs on the soundtrack for the 2002 film The Mothman Prophecies, the self-described “coma-core” project of Daniel John Riddle has been relatively quiet. The choice to fly under the radar rather than capitalize on his closeness to the Pacific Northwest’s indie-rock royalty of the ’90s may seem bizarre. But when you consider how things turned out for the most high-profile victims of the major-label-driven alt-rock boom, Riddle believes it’s the only way he made it out alive. “I would’ve been fucking destroyed,” he says. “I’m too sensitive and needy. Combine that kind of attention with the money and all that—I totally would’ve been ruined. I’m pretty much right where I need to be.” As often is the case, Riddle fell into the world of scoring and composing for commercials and film by accident. After moving to Portland from the Bay Area in 1988, Riddle landed a job at the legendary punk venue Satyricon and assumed the role of frontman for the industrial punk act Hitting Birth. Agitated by the disparity between the collective’s electrifying live performances and its admittedly subpar recorded material, Riddle began filing away languid, druggedout psych dirges under the name King Black Acid. A tape of a live performance in the KBOO studio made its way to Cavity Search Records’ Denny Swofford. By the time 1996’s Sunlit was released on the seminal Portland indie label, Riddle had solidified his reputation as an insightful composer with a knack for emotionally complex soundscapes. The music might not have been great for ’90s alt-rock radio, but it was excellent back-

ground for a film’s emotional denouement. While hanging out at Ozone Records one afternoon, a customer approached the clerk in search of someone who could quickly record some incidental music for a local commercial to be aired during a Blazers game. Riddle happened to be standing right there. And so went the left turn that steered him in the opposite direction of self-destruction. Work has been trickling in slowly ever since, with a slew of original pieces and placements for shows like CSI and Buffy the Vampire Slayer keeping the lights on in the Woodstock home Riddle purchased with his wife in 2010. King Black Acid, the band, has been dormant since 2000’s Loves a Long Song. But the way his forthcoming three-song EP, Twin Flames, unfolds like a doom country dirge is a clear indicator that Riddle’s mind is filled with as much sinister, slow-burning beauty as ever. “I tried to not play music, and I was just fucking miserable,” he says. “I get depressed, and I get up to no good. A lot of shit happened—some it legal, some of it not. I’m obsessive-compulsive, so if I’m not obsessing about something creative then I obsess about shit that’s not, and you can tell where that goes for a lot of people: jails, hospitals and death.” With the popularity of shows like True Detective and Stranger Things raising the stakes for ambitious composers with crossover potential, it stands to reason that Riddle could try his hand in L.A. and find success there on his own terms. But he is predictably leery of the Hollywood studio system. “That would be the worst fucking place in the world I could live,” he says. “I do not want to be in the fucking mill. I don’t care if I have to go put on my tool belt and go out into the real world the next week. I would rather do that and toil than follow the herd and sound like someone else. If you’re trying to keep your shit real and authentic, you’ll get thrown out of the mix. It’s like a puppy mill run by vampires and pedophiles. I ain’t got no time for that shit.” SEE IT: King Black Acid plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Skull Diver and Reptaliens, on Friday, March 3. 9 pm. $12. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

MUSIC Richman, Stephin Merritt and Paul Simon. CRIS LANKENAU. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110, 503-288-3895. 9 pm. $25. All ages.

Hurry Up, Deathlist, Panzer Beat

[BACK IN THE KNOW] As the saying goes, when one great punk club closes, another opens—sometimes the same one, in another part of town. Tonight, the Know cuts the ribbon on its new location in the former home of indierock venue Blackbird, beginning with a show headlined by Hurry Up, the scuzzy, raging side project of Kathy Foster and Westin Glass of the Thermals. See theknowpdx. com and Get Busy on page 29 for more opening week shows. The Know, 3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Contact venue for ticket prices. 21+.

SATURDAY, MARCH 4 J.Phlip, Worthy

[HOUSEMISTRESS] J.Phlip earned her bones playing parties around Chicago and spent years work-

studying behind the decks of Berlin clubs before joining Bay Area tech-house tastemakers Dirtybird, and—much as superstar turntablists maintain a residence—moving up to our fair burg. Though she’s released her share of material—most notably, 2014’s dropkicking ghetto-tech banger “Say My Name”—the alter ego of Jessica Phillipe specializes in whipping danceﬂoors to a sweaty froth as the deceptively pixieish mixmaster unearths predatory grooves to shake the booty and sear the soul. JAY HORTON. 45 East, 315 SE 3rd Ave. 10 pm. $15. 21+.

Six Organs of Admittance, Abronia

[INSPIRED PSYCH] Burning the Threshold, Ben Chasny’s latest album as Six Organs of Admittance, comes almost 20 years after the guitarist began recording under the moniker. While the project’s drifted between acoustic concerns and psych-inspired jamming, Chasny’s noodling remains easy to recognize. A few years after devising a new compositional scheme and releasing a pair of its “hexadic”

ADAM TETZLOFF

PREVIEW

Sinkane, Tezeta Band [COSMIC AFRO FUNK] Ahmed Gallab is on a mission to make the African sounds your parents’ favorite musicians co-opted cool again. Having Sudanese roots certainly doesn’t hurt the 33-year-old Brooklynite’s case on paper, but the winding path Gallab took to land on the funky plane he now inhabits is a lot more germane to his evolution as indie-rock’s foremost proprietor of airtight Afro pop. Cutting his teeth as the drummer of various hardcore bands, Gallab’s solo work under the Sinkane moniker eventually caught the ear of Caribou’s Dan Snaith, setting in motion a series of gigs with bands like Of Montreal, Born Ruffians and Yeasayer that established him as a rhythmically adept add-on in high demand. Gallab would soon spearhead the Atomic Bomb Band, an ensemble featuring members of LCD Soundsystem and Hot Chip assembled to pay homage to the late Nigerian musician William Onyeabor. Touches from the notoriously reclusive synth legend can be found all over the latest Sinkane release, Life & Livin’ It, which seamlessly zigzags between the breezy space funk of “Favorite Song” and heavily syncopated disco of “Telephone,” which would be the perfect soundtrack to a blaxploitation film set on the moon. It’s unclear how many more indie-star cosigns it’ll take for Gallab to achieve true stardom, but after Life & Livin’ It, the throne of crowd-pleasing, booty-shaking Afro funk is in his sole possession for now. PETE COTTELL. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895. 9 pm Wednesday, March 1. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+. 34

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

INTRODUCING PA D R A I C O ’ M E A R A

experiments, this latest eﬀort loops back around to the psych folk Six Organs are associated with most. The album isn’t a throwback—a full band is in tow in some spots. But for this tour, Chasny has said he intends to render it all acoustically. DAVE CANTOR. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 503-328-2865. 9:30 pm. $12. 21+.

Big Thief, Iji

[FOLK ROCK] Brooklyn band Big Thief is on a fast track toward indie fame, and it’s not simply because it has the backing of the tastemakers over at Saddle Creek Records. It’s mainly because frontwoman Adrianne Lenker sings with a hypermagnetic, country-tinged voice that’s as cool as it is confident. The quartet has aimed high with its loftily titled debut, Masterpiece, and while the record may not be flawless, it is a strong collection of heartfelt, low-fidelity folk rock. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-2883895. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

P.O.S, Sims, Dwynell Roland

[PUNK RAP] Spiking riff-heavy rawk music with rapped vocals is decidedly lame, but the mastery with which Stefon Alexander, aka P.O.S, handles the inverse of that equation has become his greatest selling point. Bolstered by fuzzy riffs and backing vocals that sound blasted out of a blown-out Marshall stack, the latest P.O.S record, this year’s Chill, Dummy, has a frantic punk feel that skates circles around the insolent attitude the Odd Future crew flaunts to overcompensate for its lack of actual punk cred. PETE COTTELL. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 503-284-8686. 8 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

SUNDAY, MARCH 5 The Japanese House, Blaise Moore

[DREAMY SYNTHS] As the Japanese House, 21-year-old East Londoner Amber Bain weaves together layers of harmony and electronic pulses to create an inimitable brand of synth pop. The motivation behind her nom de plume is to be recognized primarily for her music, which she writes and co-produces, something often unacknowledged when labeled a “female act.” It’s the same reason for the heavy digitizing on some of the vocal tracks, which create an androgynous, echoey eﬀect. Both dreamlike and operatic, Bain’s intricate soundscapes might be best described as a mix of ’80s synth with Enya-like atmospheric reverberations, creating a landscape where the band’s supporters at this sold-out show will be immersed in waves of beautiful resonance. MAYA MCOMIE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 503-239-7639. 7 pm. Sold out. All ages.

Darkest Hour, Ringworm, Tombs, River of Nihil, Dominus Nox

[METALCORE] When Darkest Hour ﬁrst popped onto the scene in 1995, modern metalheads were still running around on playgrounds and pooping in diapers, if they were even born yet. Over the last 22 years, the band has hardly slowed in delivering its Washington, D.C., take on thrash and death metal, reliably releasing an album almost every two years. Fans helped the band raise over $70,000 to make its ninth album, Godless Prophets & the Migrant Flora, which it’s currently touring in support of. With the same raw, melodic passion riddling the rest of its discography, Godless Prophets goes even further in ensuring Darkest Hour will continue on for another 20 years. CERVANTE POPE. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-206-7439. 6 pm. $18. All ages.

CONT. on page 36

Jessica Dennison + Jones WHO: Jessica Dennison (rhythm guitar, vocals), Jessica Jones (lead guitar, vocals). SOUNDS LIKE: Emily Dickinson’s drowsy indie-pop fourtrack tapes. FOR FANS OF: Mirah, Tiger Trap, the Postmarks. The two Jessicas in Jessica Dennison and Jones aren’t exactly forthcoming when it comes to specifics. They’re not cagey, necessarily, but kind of nervously vague and giggly. Holy shit, are they giggly. For two best friends trying to explain something hugely personal to a third-wheel outsider, it’s not surprising. They met over a decade ago on a Lewis & Clark College message board for incoming freshmen and bonded immediately— months before meeting in person—over a mutual love of a certain Portland-based songwriter neither wants to mention by name. “Dennison’s all protective of our love for this man,” Jessica Jones says. “He’s so special to us.” After exchanging mixtapes through the mail and corresponding via email, the Jessicas began a casual, spare-time musical collaboration upon arriving at school, eventually forming the indie-pop band the Hoofbeats. They played parties and house shows and made some live recordings. But expectations remained modest, since both were full-time students and Jones played in another duo at the time. “I was doing other stuff,” Dennison says. “I didn’t think you could just have music be the thing you do.” After college, Jones moved to Memphis and played guitar in a few bands, while Dennison returned home to Illinois to focus on just about everything but her own music. Eventually, she longed for the unique collaborative spark she shared with her college bestie. When her parents suggested she take a musical R&R sojourn to Memphis to visit Jones, the duo turned the trip into an impromptu band practice. “Her mom bought us matching sweatsuits at Kohl’s,” Jones says. “Yeah, we hung around in our velour playing music for two weeks,” Dennison adds. The vacation eventually led to a full-fledged revival of their musical partnership, smarter and more intentional than its predecessor. After they amassed enough material for a proper release, they returned to Portland to finally devote themselves to the project entirely, getting Randy Bemrose of Radiation City to produce. Jessica Dennison + Jones adheres to a breezy, whisper-quiet aesthetic with a BPM akin to the heartbeat of a peaceful slumber. Dennison’s cozy, unpretentious chord progressions establish a simple frame on which she sings soft, idle observations of quotidian environs—prayer circles, weeds among a flowerbed, the honey-colored walls of an attic in the afternoon. Jones’ twinkling guitar leads are the melodic counterpart, a flourish of color inflected casually every few bars. Dennison and Jones’ strength is knowing that reducing something to its most basic elements will emphasize anything impure, and they use the simplicity of their intention perfectly. “Dennison always wrote my favorite songs, ever,” Jones says. “One of the reasons I came back here was to make this thing with her be the thing I did in life. But it’s just a byproduct of our friendship.” CRIS LANKENAU. SEE IT: Jessica Dennison + Jones play Turn Turn Turn, 8 NE Killingsworth St., with Dragging an Ox Through Water and Landlines, on Friday, March 3. 8 pm. Contact venue for ticket prices. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

MUSIC Desert Mountain Tribe, Spare Spells

DATES HERE ALBUM REVIEW

[ROCK] London three-piece Desert Mountain Tribe is often associated with the current psychedelic rock milieu, but that doesn’t really do the band justice. There’s also plenty of Britpop inﬂuence in its dark, somber sonic progressions and guttural vocals, making them sound as if Oasis formed in the 2010s after the brothers Gallagher heard Foals. The band stays true to psych rock is in its instrument-heavy experimentation and expanded song lengths. Many songs on Either That or the Moon veer on the long side, but it doesn’t get tiring: The group knows how to build a song up until it comes crashing back down to satisfying eﬀect. MAYA MCOMIE. Twilight Cafe and Bar, 1420 SE Powell Blvd., 503-232-3576. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

ARMCHAIR FAMILY BOOKSTORE FOR OVER 45 YEARS

UNDER NEW OWNER NEW STOCK OF USED THINGS BOOKS • CDS • CLOTHES • DVDS • VIDEOS AND ADULT DVDS $5.00 ARMCHAIR FAMILY BOOKSTORE 3205 SE MILWAUIKE PORT. OR MON-FRI 11-6 SAT 11-5 503-477-5446

MONDAY, MARCH 6 LVL UP, Palm, Great Grandpa, Strange Ranger

[DIY?] Let’s face it: At this point, the term “DIY” basically means “indie rock that people under 25 like.” Just as “indie” used to signify the means of how a release was promoted and distributed before becoming an amorphous genre name, “DIY” gets thrown around for bands who have booking agents, management teams and rarely play actual, do-it-yourself venues. Case in point: LVL UP, whose 2016 album, Return to Love, was marketed as a “DIY punk” release, but in execution is actually as indie-rock as it gets. The guitar work on songs like “Blur” reminds of mid-period Archers of Loaf, and “Pain” sounds like a revved-up Magnetic Fields track. However you want to classify the record, though, it was still a solid Album of the Year candidate. Also on tonight’s bill is Portland act Strange Ranger, whose new material sounds a lot more like some of the classic Portland indie bands of lore than the Rot Forever album they released under their former Sioux Falls moniker. The fact that the record didn’t get them a spot on WW’s Best New Band list or the PDX Pop Now lineup represents one of the biggest snubs in Portland music history. BLAKE HICKMAN. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895. 8 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

TUESDAY, MARCH 7 Pop-Up Magazine

[NEW JOURNALISM] Pop-Up Magazine is like a creative journalist’s version of A Prairie Home Companion. The traveling road show presents the colorful stories of The California Sunday Magazine set to a live score by the Magik*Magik Orchestra. The latter is the classically informed Bay Area chamber-pop outﬁt commanded by Minna Choi, whose impressive résumé includes work with Johnny Greenwood and the Postal Service. Her electro-symphonic sound will oﬀer an ethereal and cinematic backdrop for an evening of wellwritten narratives. Abandon your trusty websites for an evening and get informed to the tune of live music. MARK STOCK. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110, 503288-3895. 7:30 pm. $25. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Tigran Hamasyan

[ARMENIAN ODYSSEYS] The vast wells of folk culture that lay the foundation of 29-year-old Armenian piano virtuoso Tigran Hamasyan’s music are ever present. Whether he’s ripping your heart out with gorgeously dark ballads like 2016’s “Fides Tua”—ﬁve minutes of solo piano that feel like staring a heartbroken stranger right in the eyes—or taking his once-upon-

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

The Last Artful, Dodgr and Neill Von Tally, BONE MUSIC (Eyrst)

[LABOR PAINS] With the Last Artful, Dodgr, nothing should be taken at face value. Her name alone contains multitudes—a reference to Oliver Twist, a nod to her hometown of Los Angeles, a pun on its baseball team and an allusion to a life spent evading drama and danger, all in just four words tied together by an errant comma. No surprise, then, that the title of the buzzing Portland rapper’s second album also packs a lot of meaning into a scant few syllables. Most directly, Bone Music refers to the Soviet-era practice of bootlegging banned music on X-ray film. It can also be taken as an expression of emotional vulnerability, a metaphor for peeling back the skin to reveal the fractures underneath. And if you want to be nasty about it, well, it’s certainly not a record you would turn off in the bedroom. Deceptive simplicity is Dodgr’s calling card in the studio as well. To that end, she’s found the ideal accomplice in producer Neill Von Tally. His beats don’t bang so much as radiate, painting the atmosphere with just a few trace elements: tremors of sub-bass, manipulated found sounds, synths that flicker and strobe like a dying flashlight in a dark tunnel. Dodgr’s attention-grabbing voice— a nasal sing-song permanently pitched between spitting hot fire and catching the Holy Spirit—is elastic enough to stretch over almost any type of production. But on Bone Music, Von Tally doesn’t force her to conform to any obvious structure. He simply gives her space. And with an instrument like hers, that’s all she really needs. Indeed, she makes good use of it. Conceptually, Bone Music weaves a narrative about a relationship collapsing under the weight of working life, and her voice tells the tale as much as the words. On “LLC,” Dodgr slips into the almost bluesy rasp of a prisoner on a chain gang, outlining the demands of her last will and testament should she not survive until quitting time: “If I die, play my beats.” She gets more playful around the album’s midsection, as she seeks relief from the daily grind in, well, another kind of grind. But lust gradually fades into longing until, on “Foreclosed,” the flame is reduced to a barely glowing ember. On “Bleu Replica,” the themes of love, labor and loss come full circle, with Dodgr affecting a slightly woozy tone to describe blowing her meager overtime pay on cheap beer to numb the sting of spotting her ex in the club canoodling with her best friend. At that point, the album title takes on another layer of meaning—a caution against working yourself to the bone and bruising your heart in the process. Don’t worry about Dodgr, though. As anyone who’s traced her rise over the past year knows, she’s certainly worked her ass off, and from the sound of it, there’s been plenty of sacrifice. But listening to Bone Music, you can tell it’s starting to pay off. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: The Last Artful, Dodgr plays Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., on Friday, March 3. 8 pm. $7 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

DATES HERE a-time dreams of thrash-metal guitar stardom and applying them to the ivories, the jazz-inﬂuenced musician always brushes with the scales and subtle inﬂections of his homeland. It’s an utterly unique musical outlook, and one which feels exceptionally personal, regardless of the material. PARKER HALL. Michelle’s Piano, 600 SE Stark St. 7:30 pm Friday, March 3. Sold out.

In Mulieribus presents Madrigalia! [MADRI-GALS] The all-female vocal ensemble, comprising some of the city’s ﬁnest choral singers, usually sings medieval and early Renaissance sacred music without accompaniment. But in this concert, In Mulieribus’ seven singers are joined by Musica Maestrale’s Hideki Yamaya, master of the theorbo (think of it as a really big guitar), performing love songs composed from the Renaissance to this year. The program contains impassioned madrigals by Barbara Strozzi, Monteverdi, Luca Marenzio, Alessandro Scarlatti and other Italian Renaissance and Baroque composers, as well as a brand-new one composed for the group’s 10th-anniversary season by longtime friend and Portland composer Craig Kingsbury. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 503-222-2031. 7:30 pm Friday, March 3. $15-$30. All ages.

Third Angle New Music

Portland Youth Philharmonic

[LET’S GET HORNY] The horn takes center stage at Portland Youth Philharmonic’s winter concert, courtesy of PYP alum Roger Kaza, the principal horn player for one of America’s great orchestras, the St. Louis Symphony. He joins his old band to perform Peter Schickele’s delightful ﬁve-movement 1976 suite, Pentangle for Horn and Orchestra. The program also includes the dramatic “Essay for Orchestra,” written by another 20th-century American composer, Samuel Barber, as well as a stirring Berlioz overture and two movements from Debussy’s beautiful Nocturnes, “Clouds” and “Festivals.” BRETT CAMPBELL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 503-2484335. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 4. $5-$55.

For more Music listings, visit

N AT E R YA N

[BLACKOUT MUSIC] If you didn’t see Third Angle play 63-year-old Austrian-Swiss composer Georg Friedrich Haas’ The Third Night at the 2013 Time-Based Art festival, it wasn’t just because all the lights were oﬀ—all three performances sold out. Even if you did see—or rather hear—Haas’ 2003 string quartet then, these repeat

performances will probably be different, because the score speciﬁes only the piece’s setting (lights out), beginning and ending. The rest is 18 “invitations” that any of the four players can accept— by playing one of the musical phrases—or not, and in any order they choose at the moment. Once one of them makes one of those gestures, the other three must follow through by playing chains of speciﬁed chord progressions, so no two performances are alike. Even if OMSI’s acoustics aren’t ideal, its unilluminated space encourages deep, focused listening. BRETT CAMPBELL. OMSI Planetarium, 1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4000. 7:30 pm FridaySaturday, March 3-4. $35, $30 seniors, $10 students. All ages.

STARING CONTEST: P.O.S plays Wonder Ballroom on Saturday, March 4. Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

READERS’ POLL

Nominate your favorites from March 1—31 wweek.com/BOP2017 38

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR WED. MARch 1 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Ty Segall, Axis: Sova, Weird Omen

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Barret C. Stolte, Red Forman, The Decliners, Exacerbators

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Phantogram, My Body

Dante’s

350 West Burnside The Fabulous Miss Wendy with The Scourge, Wake of Dark & Elvis

LaurelThirst Public house

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Mykki Blanco and Cakes Da Killa

Justa Pasta

1336 NW 19th Avenue, Anson Wright Duo

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St Sean O’Neill Band; The Van Rontens, Wooden Sleepers

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Tallulah’s Daddy

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Sinkane

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave Vince Staples, Kilo Kish

The Analog cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Idiot Fish 3; Aesthetic Perfection, Nyxx

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Pert Near Sandstone

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Sex Crime, Slutty Hearts, Reverberations

The Old church 1422 SW 11th Ave James Isaak

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St Anne McCue

ThURS. MARch 2 Alberta Rose Theater 3000 NE Alberta St An Evening with John McCutcheon

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Cherrybomb13, Within Sight, Mandamus

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Ghostface Killah, Pure Powers

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. KNRK Passport Approved

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Nick Schneleben Band

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Max & Iggor Cavalera

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. ACLU Benefit Show

Star Theater

128 NW 11th Ave. First Thursday with LaRhonda Steele

13 NW 6th Ave. JOHN 5 and the Creatures

The Analog cafe

Spare Room

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Darkest Hour, Ringworm, Tombs, River of Nihil, Dominus Nox

4830 NE 42nd Ave Karaoke From Hell

The Firkin Tavern

The Old church

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Rich The Kid

600 E Burnside St Gold Casio, Bryson Cone, Mood Beach

Portland center Stage

hawthorne Theatre

The Know

3728 SE Sandy Blvd. Mala Fides, Taurean, Paper Thin Youth, Cockeye

2845 SE Stark St The Sextones & DLO3

Twilight cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Desert Mountain Tribe, Spare Spells

1422 SW 11th Ave Pan Musica

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St The Lucky Thirteens, Hong Kong Banana

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing featuring Baby & The Pearl Blowers, The Pepper Grinders

Twilight cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Soft Kamikaze, Trouble Cuts, New Not Normals

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Latter Day Skanks, The Sadists

FRI. MARch 3 Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St MOGOfest presents The Fur Coats, KING WHO, Enjoys Things; Elke Robitaille and Maiah Wynne

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St The Macks, Noise Complaint, Strictly Platonic, Cold Static

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St MarchFourth

Dante’s

350 West Burnside MOGOfest presents Blossom, Sifter, DJ Pr11me, Verbz

Disjecta 8371 N Interstate The Last Artful, Dodgr presents Bone Music Live

Doug Fir Lounge

THE BODY POLITIC: When they strike their ideal balance between cause-driven unification and good old rock-’n’-roll catharsis, benefit concerts can take on a consciousness of their own. It has everything to do with intention—the crowd shares more than fandom, and in turn the bands share more than just a set list meant to make them look good. Everyone in the room suddenly feels allowed to share their values, their frustrations, their fears, and from that openness comes extraordinary musical moments. There were several at the sardine-packed Crystal Ballroom on Feb. 26 for Hell No, an all-star benefit for the American Civil Liberties Union. Comedian and host JoAnn Schinderle screamed, “Holy shit!” into the mic after almost every performer—who included Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Colin Meloy of the Decemberists, and stalwart queercore protest rockers Team Dresch— and at no point did that feel like hyperbole. But it was particularly appropriate for Sleater-Kinney’s electric, headlining set. “It’s important to remember that resistance is a body,” Carrie Brownstein said. “We can’t all be the heart, and we can’t all be the vascular system, but together, we make a whole body.” The chemistry between Brownstein and Corin Tucker has not faded one iota since the ’90s, and their set was absolutely fearless. Their finale was an ear-ringing sing-along to “Fortunate Son,” and the last voice, appropriately, was that of Janet Weiss, who put together the night’s bill: “Don’t take any fuckin’ shit!” she said. “Good night!” ISABEL ZACHARIAS. OMSI

1945 SE Water Ave. Third Angle New Music

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way, MOGOfest presents Lewi Longmire Band, Blue City Diesel, McDougall

Revolution hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Jens Lekman, Lisa/Liza

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave Hippie Sabotage

Star Theater

830 E Burnside St. MOGOfest presents Berahmand, Goldfoot, ADDverse Effects

13 NW 6th Ave. MOGOfest presents Scott Pemberton, Redwood Son, Tony Smiley

Duff’s Garage

The Analog cafe

2530 NE 82nd Ave Rick Emery; Medallion

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. ¡Mayday!

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St Baby Gramps; Deadstring Family Band

Michelle’s Piano

600 SE Stark St Tigran Hamasyan

Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan St. MOGOfest presents Haley Johnsen, Mbrascatu, Sarah Wild

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. King Black Acid, Skull Diver, Reptaliens

3552 N Mississippi Ave Troy Richmond Dixon

Rontoms

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Rogue Wave, N Lannon

The Goodfoot

2530 NE 82nd Ave New Iberians

Mississippi Pizza

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Death by Unga Bunga

3552 N Mississippi Ave Red Yarn

Duff’s Garage

Doc Slocum’s Old-TIme Jam (all ages); Freak Mountain Ramblers

Mississippi Studios

Mississippi Pizza

1937 SE 11th Ave Wicked Shallows, Born Naked

830 E Burnside St. Bash & Pop

LAST WEEK LIVE

2958 NE Glisan St Leukemia/Lymphoma benefit: Pretty Gritty, Camille Rose; Mexican Gunfight

Doug Fir Lounge

[MARCH 1-7]

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

SAM gEHRkE

= WW Pick. highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Starover Blue, Northern Allies; Shadows of Revolution

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Piefight, Avalanche Lily, Challenger ‘70

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St MOGOfest: 1,000 Fuegos (Acoustic Duo), Me & Julio

The Know

3728 SE Sandy Blvd. Hurry Up, Deathlist

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Jake McNeillie & Co, White Roos

The Old church 1422 SW 11th Ave Madrigalia!

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St

MOGOfest presents Coco Columbia, Korgy & Bass, Glasys

crystal Ballroom

The Secret Society

Dante’s

116 NE Russell St The Barn Door Slammers

The Vault at O’connor’s 7850 SW Capitol Hwy Rock the Village: Rich Layton & The Troublemakers with special guest Jon Koonce

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Lavender Flu, Dan Dan, Pathogens

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St MOGOfest: Santiam, Corner, Karyn Ann & The Colin Trio; Falcon Heart and Sparrow

SAT. MARch 4 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Robert Cray Band

1332 W Burnside St MarchFourth 350 West Burnside MOGOfest: The Pynnacles, Cambrian Explosion, LiquidLight

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. MOGOfest presents Metts, Ryan & Collins, K. Hahn, Andrew Paul Woodworth

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Super Quad

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. DevilDriver

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Sync02: An Exhibition of Boutique Music Tech

LaurelThirst Public house

Alberta Street Pub

2958 NE Glisan St The Resolectrics; City Pines, Portland Ritmo Society (ACLU Benefit); Jawbone Flats (all ages)

Arlene Schnitzer concert hall

Mission Theater

1036 NE Alberta St Grupo Masato

1037 SW Broadway PYP Winter Concert

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Hilltop Rats, No!se, Head Honcho, Phantom Racer, My Life In Black & White

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Six Organs of Admittance, Abronia

1624 NW Glisan St. MOGOfest presents Tyler Stenson, Lance Kinnaird, NorthHead

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Tallulah’s Daddy

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Big Thief, Iji

OMSI

1945 SE Water Ave.

Third Angle New Music

Plew’s Brews

8409 N Lombard St, All the Colors of the Dark XVII: Quiet! Moogwynd and Introvert

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way, MOGOfest presents The Get Ahead, The Resolectrics, Matt Hopper

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. MOGOfest presents Mic Capes, Donte Thomas, Nick B, Bocha, Gifted Gab, Verbz

The Analog cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 5 on the Hour, Northern Exposure, Neon Culpa, Trouble

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Star Club, Marcy’s Band, Tittleman’s Crest

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St MOGOfest: PDX Funk & Soul Par-tay!

The Know

3728 SE Sandy Blvd. The Prids, Shadowlands, Creature to Creature

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave FLESHH, The Dancing Plague of 1518

The Old church 1422 SW 11th Ave Madrigalia!

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St

The Libertine Belles; Pink Lady presents “The Cat’s Meow”

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St Jessica Dennison + Jones, Dragging an Ox Through Water, Landlines

Twilight cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Effuluvia, Fetid, Nekro Drunkz

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St MOGOfest presents Fabolous Femme Fronts with Onion! Whim Grace, Laryssa Birdseye, Kaiya on the Mountain, Onion the Man

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. P.O.S, Sims, Dwynell Roland

SUN. MARch 5 Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St Bibster

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Skillet

Dante’s

350 West Burnside The Statesboro Revue

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. The Japanese House, Blaise Moore

LaurelThirst Public house 2958 NE Glisan St

MON. MARch 6 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Dwight Church, Dwight Dickinson, Eddie Kancer, G.I.N.A.H., Sparkle Pony

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Shane Koyczan

LaurelThirst Public house 2958 NE Glisan St Kung Pao Chickens; Portland Country Underground

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mr. Ben

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. LVL UP

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Ural Thomas and the Pain

The Old church 1422 SW 11th Ave Keith Harkin

TUES. MARch 7 Alberta Rose Theater

3000 NE Alberta St Adrian Legg, Pat Donohue

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St Angela Davise; Species Unknown, The Rays

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Boo Seeka

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. I Prevail

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St Songs in the ‘Round: Taylor Kingman, Mike Elias, Birger Olsen, Jake Ray; Jackstraw

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Matthew Fountain

The Analog cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Rose Room Swing Dance

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Boyz II Gentlemen

The Know

3728 SE Sandy Blvd. Lithics, Preening, Conditioner

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

MUSIC C O U R T E S Y O F R YA N O R G A N

NEEDLE EXCHANGE

Ryan Organ

Years DJing: I started with some friends back home in Canada about 17 years ago. We all began around the same time and came up together. Genre: A little bit of a lot of things. I started with house and techno, found my way into drum ’n’ bass and jungle, and have since mixed in hip-hop, dub, reggae and funk. Where you can catch me regularly: I play solo randomly at a lot of lovely venues in Portland—think the Liquor Store, Moloko, the Goodfoot, Valentines, Holocene, Cruzroom, Alberta Street Pub and after-hours underground spots. I also play as part of a DJ crew called Vinylogy—four DJs, usually on four turntables, plus a live drummer—especially on patios in the summer. Craziest gig: Before Last Thursday on Alberta became superorganized, we’d set up a little shanty canopy on the corner of 27th and Alberta with a few crates of records and a pretty substantial sound system. Once we had the entire block dancing along with us. It happened so fast. I still get chills thinking about it. We had to tame it down in the following months, so we took the party over to Cruzroom’s patio for a few years after that. My go-to records: Rodney P, “Tings in Time”; Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra, “Che Che Colé (Makossa)”; Nuyorican Soul, “Mind Fluid”; Etienne De Crecy, “Prix Choc”; Infiniti, “Game One.” Don’t ever ask me to play…: Not trying to throw my Vinylogy homie DJ Antix under the bus, but he used to play a Skream remix of La Roux’s “In for the Kill” at our shows that still to this day sounds worse to me than brawling neighborhood cats. Actually, I think he played it extra often just to bug me. NEXT GIG: Ryan Organ spins at Bar Bar, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., on Saturday, March 4.

FRI, MAR. 3 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave Bad Royale & YOOKiE

Bit House Saloon

WED, MAR. 1 Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. TRONix: DJ Metronome (techno)

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd. DJ Hot Lips

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon (darkwave, industrial)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Easy Egg

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Wicked Wednesday

THURS, MAR. 2 Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave Ladies Night (rap, r&b, club)

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Variety Pac w/ Strategy Fiasco w/ DJ Brokenwindow

727 SE Grand Ave NoFOMO ft. Joseph Lee & Orographic (cosmic, house, techno)

Black Book

Moloko

20 NW 3rd Ave The Cave (rap, r&b, club)

Star Bar

1332 W Burnside St 80s Video Dance Attack

The Analog Cafe

511 NW Couch St. DJ EPOR

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Sappho (disco) 639 SE Morrison St. DJ Diet D 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Deep: Bass

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (goth, industrial)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Jack

Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave Wax Therapy w/ Jacob Poe, DJ Tronic & James Crews

Crystal Ballroom

Ground Kontrol

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Tribute Night Presents Blessed: Future vs Kanye vs Drake

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Frankeee B (Scandinavian synthetic funk)

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Uncontrollable Urge w/ DJ Paultimore

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St

50% OFF SALE

Where to drink this week. 1. Tin Bucket

3520 N Williams Ave., 503-477-7689, beercheesesouppdx.wix. com/tinbucketpdx. Tin Bucket, quietly, has turned its tap list into one of the most exciting in town—if not the best. Stop in now for Block 15’s Juice Joint—an experiment in hop extracts.

E M I LY J O A N G R E E N E

BAR REVIEW

Not on all the good stuﬀ, but lots of it: selected Coats, Knives, Denim, Henleys, T-shirts, Dust Pans, Hats & More.

2. Nightcap

11AM–6PM DAILY – 427 NW BROADWAY 503.575.9769 – HANDEYESUPPLY.COM

2035 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 503-477-4252, trinketpdx.com. Trinket is a brunch spot by day, but at night it becomes a ﬁne cocktail bar called Nightcap, serving up Mumbai margaritas and Norwegian cardamom tarts.

3. No Bones Beach Club

3928 N Mississippi Ave., nobonesbeachclub.com. The world’s second vegan tiki bar turns out to be delightful. Skip the mai tai for the piña colada, and get the Buffalo-sauced cauliﬂower “wings” that best most of this city’s sad set of Buﬀalo bones.

4. Bota Bar

606 NE Davis St., 971-229-1287, botabar.com. Ever so softly since the snow fell, Bota Bar is already a great—if hidden—addition to a ’hood dominated by much louder bars, with beautiful wine, obscure beer and tapas.

5. Parasol Bar

215 SE 9th Ave., 503-239-8830, parasolbar.com. In the former Biwa space, Parasol is slowly ﬁguring itself out. Beats and karaoke at Biwa? How strange.

First Friday Superjam (funk, soul, disco)

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Uplift

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Darkness Descends (classic goth, dark alternative)

The Paris Theatre

6 SW 3rd Ave Decadent ‘80s Depeche Mode vs The Smiths

The steep and thorny way to heaven

SE 2nd & Hawthorne Brickbat Mansion: a tribute to Björk & The Sugarcubes

Tryst

19 SW 2nd Ave, DJ L-Dougie (latin, hiphop)

SAT, MAR. 4 45 East

315 SE 3rd Ave J.Phlip & Worthy

Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave The Ruckus (rap, r&b, club)

Crush Bar

1400 SE Morrison Pants OFF Dance OFF: Stache Bash!

LA PARISIENNE: The high-ceilinged hall of downtown’s Brasserie Montmartre building has been home to Portland’s dreams of Frenchness since opening the first time in 1978 with swank bistro food and crayons on the tables. The new Bardot wine bar (626 SW Park Ave., 503-914-5799, bardotpdx.com) brings the New Portland ideal: mixed use, with a wine shop, bar and basement event space. In the back, Park Avenue Wines’ vast international showroom of bottles sells both traditional wines and wildstyle ones from local iconoclasts like Swick and Bow & Arrow. But in the front, Bardot’s small hardwood bar, old-school tavern mirror and smattering of tables serves as a modern pregame spot for West End dinners and nights at the Schnitz. Sure, you can hit up a skin-contact orange wine or crazy-jammy local pinot by the glass ($8-$13), a $6 beer from Wolves & People, or an $8 Atxa vermouth-and-cola cocktail. But stop in Tuesday for blind flights. Pay $15 for three wine pours and then try to guess where they’re from and how old they are. Get it all right, and they’re yours for free. Otherwise, might we recommend a DIY cheese-and-meat pairing and a rare $17 bottle of St. Reginald Parish’s the Marigny? Bardot charges $10 corkage, but damned if that wine ain’t the best low-cost party bottle of carbonic pinot gris you’ll ever have—as lively, weird and fun as Owen Wilson’s dream of France in that Woody Allen movie. By the time the bottle is done, both of you will feel like cheap dates. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Come As You Are: 90’s Dance Flashback

Double Barrel Tavern 2002 SE Division St. DJ Low Life

DJ OverCol

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Wake The Town (house, techno)

The Lovecraft Bar

511 NW Couch St. DJ Vaporware

421 SE Grand Ave Death Trip Expressway to Yr Skull (shoegaze, deathrock, goth)

Holocene

Tryst

Jade Club

Tube

Killingsworth Dynasty

Valentines

Ground Kontrol

1001 SE Morrison St. Beat Parlor Presents: The Glow 315 SE 3rd Ave The Lair #3 (house, techno) 832 N Killingsworth St Questionable Decisions (funk, disco, hip hop)

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Roane (hip-hop, soul, boogie)

Produce Row Cafe

204 SE Oak St, Occasion Vibration with Midland (house, disco, techno)

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave SugarTown PDX Queer Soul Night

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St.

19 SW 2nd Ave, DJ Dairy, Tres Shannon of Voodoo Donuts 18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Skout 232 SW Ankeny St DJ Lights Out

SUN, MAR. 5

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Sad Day

MON, MAR. 6 Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Reaganomix: DJ Jay ‘KingFader’ Bosch (80s)

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Black Mass (goth, new wave)

TUES, MAR. 7 Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Party Damage DJs: DJ Up Above

Black Book

Sandy Hut

Ground Kontrol

The Liquor Store

20 NW 3rd Ave Flux (rap, r&b, club) 511 NW Couch St. Black Sunday: DJ Nate C. (metal)

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Church of Hive (goth, industrial)

1430 NE Sandy Blvd. DJ Mudslide McBride 3341 SE Belmont St, Rev Shines (funk, soul)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Coma Toast (future, glitch, electro)

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

#wweek

READERS’ POLL

Nominate your favorites from March 1—31 wweek.com/BOP2017

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

STREET

CONNOR MACLOAD

PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: SHANNON GORMLEY (sgormley@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: sgormley@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Brontë

Bag & Baggage wasn’t planning on holding its next production in a library. But there’s a sale pending on its long time home, the Venetian Theatre, so it’s moved Brontë from the 240-seat theater to a 60-seat space in the Hillsboro Public Library. Though it’s far from ideal, it’s sort of ﬁtting that Brontë will be held in a library: The play explores the literary legacy of the Brontë sisters, three reclusive women who wrote age-honored love stories despite having so few of their own experiences with romantic love. But it’s not just a straight biodrama. Brontë is a play that’s interested in keeping the ambiguity of its subjects intact, so it blurs fact and ﬁction by including characters from the Brontës’ novels. SHANNON GORMLEY. Hillsboro Public Library, 2850 NE Brookwood Parkway, bagnbaggage.org. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, March 3-26. $25-$30. Pay what you will Friday, March 3.

The Skin Coat

Theater company Speculative Drama usually caters to the adventurous theatergoer, and its next production is no exception. Ensemble-devised and based oﬀ of the Norse equivalent of Cinderella, The Skin Coat will be immersive, and rely more on movement than traditional dialogue to tell the story. And since the company isn’t one to be satisﬁed with just progressive staging, they’ll also focus on the tale from the perspective of the princess—presumably in order to give her more depth than the average fantasy female stock character. SHANNON GORMLEY. The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, Southeast 2nd Avenue and Hawthorne Boulevard, thesteepandthornywaytoheaven.com. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, March 2-11. $12-$20.

ALSO PLAYING Marjorie Prime

This Pulitzer-nominated play juxtaposes the failing memory of grieving humans against the imperfection of digital data storage. Vana O-Brien plays both the titular AI Marjorie Prime and her predecessor—an eighty-ﬁve year old woman prescribed a holographic husband, Walter Prime (Chris Harder) in order to minimize her memory loss. Her damaged daughter Tess (Linda Alper) plays the most human character, believably rendering the dysfunction of her broken life. Despite several tragedies, humor runs throughout. Tiny reminders that the story is set later in the century garner well-deserved laughs; when Marjorie mentions ZZ Top, husband Jon (Michael Mendelson) wonders what that might be—maybe a band? Eventually, more sparkling “Prime” characters are introduced, providing excellent foils for the sometimes too-robotic humans. Likewise, the AIs become more human as their knowledge grows. Ultimately the simulacrums’ recollection of history is only as perfect as the stories they are told in the ﬁrst place. NATHAN CARSON. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., artistsrep.org. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Sunday and 2 pm Sunday, March 1-5. Additional show 2 pm Saturday, March 4. No 7:30 pm show Sunday, March 5. $25-$50.

Mystery Ten Minute Play Festival

Mini-play festivals seem to pop up around Portland all the time, but even so, it’s hard to resist the format. The short form encourages playwrights to not rely on traditional narrative structures, and though they provide you with a sense of discovery, if a play isn’t successful, it only lasts for ten minutes. Monkey With a Hat On is one of the city’s most frequent producers of mini-play festivals. Lately, the themes for their festivals have all been colors (the last one was simply “blue”). But this time, the theme is more concrete—mystery— yet the topics are still vast: pick-up artists, detectives, amnesiacs and a child TV star who’s also a kidnapper. SHANNON GORMLEY. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., cstpdx. com. 7 pm Friday-Saturday, March 3-4. $5.

On the Edge

Considering Defunkt is one of Portland’s most progressive theaters, it’s a little surprising that one of the next plays they’re producing is from 1916. But their double bill of one-act plays serves as a sort of history lesson in radical social politics in theater. Triﬂes, Susan Glaspell’s early 20th century play, is a murder mystery with an anti-patriarchy twist that was radical for its time. Radical too was Amiri Baraka’s 1964 play, Dutchman, about a manipulative white woman who meets a black man named Clay on a the New York subway. SHANNON GORMLEY. Defunkt Theatre, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., defunktheatre.com. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, through March 18. $15-$20.

pen/man/ship

Portland Playhouse’s set for pen/ man/ship is almost surreal: A sail is looped from the ceiling over a desk and chairs sit in a sunken, shallow pool of water surrounded by heavy wood flooring. Written by contemporary playwright Christina Anderson, pen/man/ship is set in 1896 aboard a ship bound for Liberia for a reason expedition leader Charles Boyd (Adrian Roberts) keeps secret for most of the play. His son (DeLance Minefee) has snuck on board a stowaway, Ruby (Andrea Whittle), who’s escaping from the horrors of the Jim Crow South. Ruby is the only woman on the ship, and she’s a fiercely intellectual atheist who constantly comes into conflict with the religious and elitist Boyd. Ruby’s presence, along with the fact that the all-black crew and captain are sailing from Plessy v. Ferguson America, provides a set-up for racial and ideological debates delivered through formal, turn-ofthe-century-style dialogue. But it’s far from dry: The second act is action-packed, and it’s a witty script that features a mysterious, unraveling plot driven by some intense performances, particularly Whittle’s and Roberts’. SHANNON GORMLEY. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., portlandplayhouse.org. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, March 1-5. $19-$34.

DANCE Cuisine & Confessions

Portland’s most prodigious contemporary-dance importer, White Bird, is a trusted producer of dance shows that are more interested in conceptual and visual complexity than spectacle. So

CONT. on page 44

SEE ME NOW: Ruby Rounds is the cabaret’s producer.

Burlesque for All

PREVIEW

DE COLORES CABARET ADDRESSES UNDERREPRESENTATION. BY ISA B EL ZACHA R IAS

@isabelzach

For Ruby Rounds, burlesque is much more than just fancy striptease—it’s a breeding ground for radical political movements. “A lot of what’s prompted me to move in the direction of producing a show is learning more about our hidden history,” she says about the inspiration for her variety revue, De Colores Cabaret. “People of color have always been in burlesque but have been erased.” In early-20th-century America, burlesqueshows were segregated. Then, around the ’40s and ’50s, white America took a sudden, generalized fascination in Latin burlesque culture, often to an exploitative degree. In many ways, Rounds’ concept for De Colores is in direct response to that, by challenging ideas of who wields power in burlesque identity. The cabaret will feature a lineup of all-Latin performers that Rounds single-handedly curated, from international big-name burlesquers Egypt Blaque Knyle and Lola Coquette to local circus arts and drag performers. De Colores seeks to celebrate the diversity of talents from each performer to the next, but also to demonstrate the skin-color variance among Latinidentifying artists. “People have an idea of what a Latin person looks like,” Rounds says, “but we span from very, very pale skin to very, very dark skin, and I was thinking about how we can focus on seeing that.” For Rounds, the representation of more racial, cultural, sexual and gender identities in burlesque is essential to burlesque moving forward—as repre-

sentation breeds representation, more communities feel burlesque is “for” them. Rounds’ own early attempts to tune into a queenlike burlesque confidence were hindered by a total lack of classic ’40s burlesque celebrities she could relate to. “It’s not that they didn’t exist,” says Rounds, whose Chicana identity is the driving force of her burlesque persona, “just that they were hard to find because what we view as ‘burlesque history’ is skewed towards white performers and has often ignored or erased many performers of color.” What’s more is that in Portland, Rounds “found it kind of difficult being a person of color within a community where a lot of people didn’t ‘see’ color, didn’t ‘see’ race.” De Colores, she says, “is very much addressing white liberalism. People who don’t see your color don’t see you. They don’t see your race: this core part of you that you can’t take away from your identity.” The show is undeniably contextualized by the new presidential administration, too. The same week Rounds sent out the De Colores Cabaret press release, the Spanish-speaking congregation at Portland’s St. Peter Catholic Church was recovering from recent harassment incidents. “My show is a group of people who are brown, black, queer, immigrants and children of recent immigrants,” says Rounds. She smiles widely as she adds, “This show really is celebrating all the things that others denigrate.” SEE IT: De Colores Cabaret plays the Headwaters Theatre, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9. 9 pm Friday, March 3. $20-$30. 18+. Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

PERFORMANCE REVIEW SUMI WU

an acrobatic cooking show isn’t exactly the kind of show you’d expect from it. But Montreal’s Seven Fingers is a circus, not a contemporary dance troupe, which means that spectacle is a necessary part of their art. Cuisine & Confessions is a sort of commentary on that convention: Instead of a circus involving clowns or exotic animals, Seven Fingers decided to place their act in a kitchen. The show was somewhat devised from the personal stories of the performers, some of which are shared onstage. Along with dishwashing and omelette making, there’ll still be plenty of acrobatic feats that are hardly everyday. SHANNON GORMLEY. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, whitebird.org. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Saturday, March 2-4. $26-$64.

In Circadia

Last summer, choreographer Eliza Larson previewed a contemporary dance project called In Circadia. Based on her own experiences with insomnia, In Circadia represented dreams and an irregular REM cycle through a fuse of ballet, floor dance and improvisation. But it’s not until now that the piece is debuting in full. Through In Circadia, Larson hopes to represent the stages of sleep as well as the emotional connection we have to something we all do and sometimes take for granted. SHANNON GORMLEY. Bodyvox, 1201 NW 17th Ave., elizalarson. com. 8:30 pm Friday-Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, March 3-5. $12-$18.

COMEDY Bri Pruett Blows This Joint

For the past few years, Bri Pruett has been one of the most prominent comics in the Portland standup scene: Along with her weekly spot as a host of the longrunning Earthquake Hurricane, she’s become a regular feature in standup showcases across the city. In 2013, she placed in WW’s Funniest Five poll. This year alone, she’s hosted her part-theater, part-standup show Stellar and cofounded a month-long standup and improv showcase, Alternative Acts. So it’s not surprising that she’s the latest Portland comedian to leave town for a larger comedy mecca like L.A. Unsurprisingly, the lineup for her farewell show is well-stacked and features a tightknit group of funny people: two of Pruett’s Earthquake Hurricane cohosts Katie Nguyen and Anthony Lopez, plus You’re Welcome co-hosts Marcus Coleman and Caitlin Weierhauser. SHANNON GORMLEY. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., portland.heliumcomedy.com. 8 pm Wednesday, March 1. $12 advance, $15 at the door.

Peachy Chicken 5-Year Anniversary Show

The Portland comedy scene changes constantly and rapidly, so showcases tend to be rightly proud whenever they get to celebrate an anniversary. Improv group Peachy Chicken is about to celebrate its half decade of existence. Though the cast has changed over the years (previous cast members have included the likes of Earthquake Hurricane host Alex Falcone), Peachy Chicken has performed at the Village Ballroom the first Friday of every month since 2012. This week, the show will be hosted by Mickey McGee and the all-female improv troupe Mom Jeans. SHANNON GORMLEY. The Village Ballroom, 700 NE Dekum St., peachychicken.com. 8 pm Friday, March 3. $10 general admission, $5 students.

For more Performance listings, visit 44

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

SEARCHING FOR WORDS: Gwendolyn Duﬀy (left), Hayden Orr and Shannon Mastel.

Moments in Love Savage/Love forgoes narrative for abstract love poems.

Right from the beginning, it’s clear Savage/Love requires you to entirely suspend your disbelief. Seven actors dramatically pose at the front of the stage and then begin to wordlessly hustle around the set. Eventually, ensemble actor Haden Cadiz breaks free from that animatronic state and recites a love poem to actor Anashkusha Beauchamp, who remains partially in the dream world—she stares blankly into the audience, and doesn’t make eye contact with Cadiz. A one-act oddity from playwright Sam Shepard’s mammoth body of work, Savage/Love is 19 staged love poems written by Shepard and Joseph Chaikin. The script doesn’t allude to setting, and there’s no dialogue, which means directors can flesh it out however they want. In Imago’s case, through interpretive dance. The result is an engrossing, experiential piece of contemporary theater that’s more dance show than traditional play. In a red set that’s simultaneously kitchen, living room and bedroom, the cast moves in intricate, seemingly random patterns to everything from horror-movie scores, schmaltzy ’60s pop and jazz noir. The actors take turns reciting each poem, allowing them briefly to come to life as an unnamed character while the rest of the cast remains in a dazed, disoriented state and collectively evokes the poem’s narrative through the choreography. What keeps Savage/Love from drowning in its own artsiness is a transcendent sense of irony: The play is pure mood, so it’s up to the viewer to find any particular moment funny, relatable, melodramatic, ridiculous or moving. Plus, even though it’s highly abstract, the play is full of recognizable human experiences. In “The Hunt,” Emily Welsh awkwardly stands alone under the light of a disco ball. “I’ve lost 15 pounds for you,” she says. “I’ve dyed my hair brown for you. I’ve designed a special smile for you. But I haven’t met you yet.” Between stanzas, the stage is overtaken by the other cast members, who dance around Welsh, turning the scene into some kind of melancholy sock hop. It’s almost goofy, but it’s hard not to be drawn in by Welsh’s vulnerability. By this point in the play, silliness and sincerity don’t seem contradictory. SHANNON GORMLEY. SEE IT: Savage/Love plays at Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., imagotheatre.com. 7:30 pm Friday, March 3 and 10. $5-$15 pay what you will.

VISUAL ARTS

MUSIC MILLENNIUM

C O U R T E S Y O F TA R A S E L L I O S

PREVIEW NO. 4, FROM TESTIMONY BY TARA SELLIOS

Show Goes On THE TOP 5 SHOWS WE’RE MOST EXCITED TO SEE.

BY JE N N I F E R R A B I N

jrabin@wweek.com

Things are a little different this month, because I’m not just recommending art shows for you to see. The Trump administration has announced it is moving forward with its plan to defund the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities (which will save a whopping 0.0625 percent of the budget!). So, given what’s happening, I think it’s more important than ever to think about all the ways we can engage locally in the arts. I’m giving you three recommendations for shows and two for new arts programs that might be up your alley.

Testimony

Artist Tara Sellios’s subject is the beauty and fragility of death. She starts by creating intricate watercolor compositions of animal skeletons surrounded by clouds of gossamer insects. Then she translates the tableaux into sculptures, using real-life skulls and reconstituted bugs. Finally, she photographs the 3-D still lifes using a large-format camera. The resulting largescale photographs, on view at the gallery beside the original watercolors, are equally stunning and macabre. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 503-225-0210. Through April 2.

Golden Age

Artist Adrian Landon Brooks’ paintings on panel speak of folklore and pagan times. Gilded suns and crescent moons rise and set throughout his compositions, guiding his animal-human figures. Brooks’ use of rounded feminine forms, combined with impossibly perfect geometric patterns, provide the series with rare aesthetic balance. His linework is so precise that it appears to have been painted with a brush the width of a human hair. And in another gesture of balance, this precision is set off by the fact that the panels he uses are often gnarled pieces of wood with knots, nail holes and myriad imperfections. Stephanie Chefas

Projects, 305 SE 3rd Ave., Suite 202, 310-9900702. Through March 31.

The Future the Past

Todd Norsten’s predominantly text-based paintings are surprisingly and endearingly funny. Some of the humor comes from the way Norsten plays with language and design, like the piece that says, “S…H…T”—knowing well how the human brain fills things in, or the painting that reads, “(The truth is in the parentheses)”. The show looks like it was created by Andy Warhol, if Warhol had been a sign painter in rural Kansas. Adams and Ollman, 209 SW 9th Ave., 503-724-0684. Through March 11.

PDX-CSA

If you’re familiar with the idea of communitysupported agriculture, PDX-CSA is a similar model, but for art. It connects art enthusiasts with artists whom they can support directly. Five artists will present artworks in their concept stages to potential collectors like you. Once you select an artist (there are some good ones this year) whose work you like, you get to follow their creative process through the completion of your piece. Commissions range from $150 to $175. It’s a great, low-cost way to start an art collection. For more information and to learn about the artists, visit pdx-csa.com. Through April 16.

Art Passport PDX

Have you ever been intimidated by the idea of going to the galleries? Afraid of asking the “wrong ” questions? Bummed you don’t have enough money to buy anything ? If so, this free arts program is designed for you. Pick up a passport book (details on the website), visit eight galleries, collect eight stamps, ask as many questions as you can think of, and get a chance to win a $1,600 credit to spend at the galleries. All that’s required is your curiosity and enthusiasm to learn about art. To sign up, and for more information, visit artpassportpdx.com.

5-DAY VINYL SALE! March 1st–5th

on all new and used vinyl in the store! (excludes items already on sale, may not be combined with other sales or discounts)

MARCH SONGWRITER’S CIRCLE

Featuring

JOHN BUNZOW, LEX BROWNING & JACK MCMAHON MONDAY, MARCH 6TH AT 7PM

JOHN BUNZOW’s mix of eclectic musical influences – melding blues, country, rock and even jazz – have helped establish him as an original artist of heartfelt depth, substance and style. LEX BROWNING is a singer-songwriter and talented multi-instrumentalist. JACK MCMAHON has been a performing singer-songwriter for all of his adult life, with time spent leading bands like The Nightwatch, as a songwriter and demo singer for the Brill Building, and as a solo performer under his own name.

MUSIC MILLENNIUM 48TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS! Saturday, March 11th at 3 Meet THE MOTELS Sunday, March 12th at 5 live performance from JON KOONCE

48th Anniversary Party live performance from DENNY BIXBY Wednesday, March 15th at 6 Free cake & refreshments to be served

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. BY ZACH MIDDLETON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1 Penelope Rosemont

As a co-founder of the Chicago Surrealist Group, Penelope Rosemont has shown paintings in major galleries across the country. The author of several books of prose and nonﬁction, Rosemont will give a lecture entitled “Surrealism in Defense of the Wild.” The presentation will be introduced by European avant-garde historian Abigail Susik. Mother Foucault’s, 523 SE Morrison St., 503-236-2665. 7 pm.

Joe R. Lansdale

In Joe R. Lansdale’s newest novel, Rusty Puppy, Hap and Leonard make an unusual pair of private eyes: Leonard is a black, gay, conservative politics-loving Vietnam vet who could rip your arms oﬀ, and Hap is good ol’ Texas “white trash” with a progressive-activist past. You might remember them from their eponymous television adaptation, which aired on the Sundance Channel last spring. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323. 7 pm.

Natural History of the Pacific Northwest Mountains

What is that odd, iridescent bird perched on your fire escape? Did the weather woman really just say there’s a tornado warning? In Oregon? It’s situations like these that demonstrate why everyone should have at least one natural history text in their personal library, and Daniel Mathews’ Natural History of the Pacific Northwest Mountains is a fine place to start. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm.

THURSDAY, MARCH 2 Vision Quest 7 Release Party

One of the greatest ﬁnds of Portland free papers is the comic newspaper Vision Quest, which provides an eclectic mix of graphic storytelling and visual art. The work of local illustrators and artists like Alex Chiu, Erin Nations and Sophie Franz will be featured for the seventh edition of the publication, and the group will hold a release party and art exhibit to celebrate. Floating World, 400 NW Couch St., 503-241-0227. 6 pm.

Hechos Alternativos

Portland Latino writers’ collective Los Porteños will oﬀer its own hechos alternativos, or “alternative facts,” in opposition to the rust-stained, deﬂated-volleyball-in-chief, with readings of original poetry and prose. Literary Arts, 925 SW Washington St., 503- 227-2583. 7 pm.

Direct Action

People taking to the streets in protest (and riot cops ready to meet them there) has provided the dominant imagery of early-2017 Portland. Budding Bolsheviks might be interested in longtime organizer L.A. Kauﬀman’s new book, Direct Action, which provides a history of activist movements spanning the past 60 years, showing when and how they’ve been successful, from the highly eﬀective ACT UP campaign, which put the development of treatments for HIV into overdrive, to the March on Washington. at one of our nation’s Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm.

SUNDAY, MARCH 5 Radical Mycology

In Peter McCoy’s new book, Radical Mycology, mycology is like something out of an Alex Jones Infowars podcast.

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

Fungus is everywhere, tied to a literally unbelievable amount of natural processes, and is almost conspiratorial in its scope and inﬂuence. Call it: The Real Truth the Lizard-People Elites Don’t Want You to Know About the Global Fungus Conspiracy. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm.

MONDAY, MARCH 6 Kathleen Dean Moore

The new novel, Piano Tide, tells the story of clashing interests in a coastal Alaska town: Local capitalist Axel looks to enrich himself with natural resources, but a passionate young outsider named Nora stands in his way. This is the ﬁrst novel from Oregon Book Awardwinning naturalist Kathleen Dean Moore. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm.

TUESDAY, MARCH 7 Incite: Queer Writers Read

The newest reading series for queer writers in Portland is Incite, which will be hosted by Kate Carroll de Gutes and Kate Gray. Writers Domi Shoemaker, Kelly Jeske, David Skilton, Julianna Gonzalez and Stephanie Glazier will read original work based on the theme “resistance.” Don’t expect a passive event, as the series will feature audience participation and group discussion on the topic. Literary Arts, 925 SW Washington St., 503-227-2583. 7 pm.

For more Books listings, visit

REVIEW

Thomas Dolby,

THE SPEED OF SOUND Thomas Dolby is like a geek Forrest Gump. Somehow, the guy behind ’80s synth-pop hit “She Blinded Me With Science” has A life like a box placed himself consistently at the edge of of chocolates. history, whether music or tech—XTC before they were famous, Spandau Ballet’s frontman being an asshole in Japan, Bill Gates being an asshole in San Francisco—with a blasé agreeability and a talent for getting out unscathed, a gifted man adrift on corporate currents. In his new memoir, The Speed of Sound (Flatiron, 288 pages, $27.99), Dolby performs with David Bowie, amazes Michael Jackson with a car phone, and gets shafted in favor of Duran Duran. He played on the version of “Video Killed the Radio Star” that didn’t end up on MTV. He wrote the synth lines for Foreigner’s biggest hits. He maybe caused Auto-Tune. He’s personally responsible for the Nokia waltz—the world’s first recognizable ringtone. He created the sound of TED Talks. This is another way of saying that Dolby’s life story is a long, shaggy dog at the margins of greatness—a succession of anecdotes strung together without particular motivation beyond chronology. There’s very little failure or honest self-examination or any other point of view beyond his own blank (and possibly feigned) surprise at being so often swept up in the world that matters. But Dolby is an engaging storyteller, with a fetish for odd detail. It is difficult to dislike a book that contains the sentence, “I cautiously opened the door, and found myself chest height to an enormous Canadian.” That Canadian, Ivan the mad hacker monk, was Dolby’s neighbor while he wrote his first album. Ivan appears for two paragraphs and then disappears from the book: His only reason to exist was to be described. Bill Gates appears briefly as a geek Joe Pesci, issuing a menacing tantrum when told the future of computers is the cloud. “MARC, THAT’S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!” Gates screams, with his tie “too tight” and the waiters freezing “with silver ladles in their hands.” Earlier, he’d been angrily “poking at his beef Wellington.” Describing Michael Jackson backstage during the Thriller era, Dolby writes that “his skin was translucent, like a lithe black vampire’s. He was evolving.” It’s that last sentence—the detached and benevolent interest, the lack of judgment in it—that defines what’s right in Dolby’s memoir. He is a visiting alien with very specific talents, fascinated with the bounty of the world. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. GO: Thomas Dolby will sign copies of The Speed of Sound at Powell’s City of Books, 1001 W Burnside St., powells.com, on Monday, March 6. Noon.

C O U R T E S Y O F X L R ATO R M E D I A

MOVIES GET YO UR R E PS IN

Boogie Nights (1997)

What better way to kick oﬀ Erotica Appreciation Month than with the 20th anniversary of Paul Thomas Anderson’s story of dishwasherturned-professional sex-haver Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg)? A knockout with a star-packed cast (Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoﬀman, Don Cheadle, to name a few), Boogie Nights’ tragicomic look at the excesses of the golden age of porn is one of the auteur’s best. Mission Theater. March 5, 7 and 9.

Dekalog, Parts 1 and 2 (1988)

Each episode of Krzystof Kieślowski’s 10-part illustration of the Ten Commandments is set in the same Warsaw apartment complex. NW Film Center kicks off Dekalog, widely considered one of the best miniseries of all time, with the first two hourlong films of the series, based on “Thou shalt not have other gods before me” and “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Saturday-Sunday, March 4-5.

Fanny and Alexander (1982)

Ingmar Bergman isn’t all doom, gloom and chess games with death. Originally conceived as a ﬁve-hour, four-part miniseries for Swedish television, this “short” three-hour cut is a warm, intimate look into the life of a large Swedish family in the 1900s through the eyes of two young children. Bergman’s controversial late-career opus, Fanny and Alexander will be among the most beautiful or most mind-numbing ﬁlms you’ll see. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday, March 3.

Stop Making Sense (1984)

For what is widely regarded as one of the greatest concert ﬁlms ever, Jonathan Demme, before he made Silence of the Lambs and Philadelphia, ﬁlmed the Talking Heads playing in Hollywood over three nights in 1983. Is it just me, or is David Byrne’s suit getting bigger? 5th Avenue Cinema. March 3-5.

When the Cat Comes (1962)

The enigmatic Church of Film kicks oﬀ a new series on the subversive Czech New Wave movement with Vojtech Jasný’s Cannes-approved story of Soviet-era hypocrisy. When a traveling circus visits a small village, its sunglasses-donning circus cat Mokol causes trouble: It can reveal the true intentions of the village’s shitbag adults, much to the delight of its children. Clinton Street Theater. 8 pm Wednesday, March 1. ALSO PLAYING: Academy Theater: Sid and Nancy (1986), March 1-2; Heavenly Creatures (1994), March 3-9. Clinton Street Theater: Dirty Dancing (1987), 7 pm Monday, March 6. Hollywood Theatre: B Movie Bingo: Tiger Claws 2 (1996), 7:30 pm Tuesday, March 7. Kiggins Theatre: The Lady From Shanghai (1947), 7:30 pm Monday, March 6. Laurelhurst: Glengarry Glen Ross (1992), March 1-2; Starship Troopers (1997), March 3-9. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (1945), 4:30 pm Saturday, March 4; The Spirit of the Beehive (1973), 4:30 pm Sunday, March 5.

ALL THAT GLITTERS: Burlesque.

Heart of Brightness PORTLAND-SET BURLESQUE: HEART OF THE GLITTER TRIBE SHINES A LIGHT ON THE CITY’S NEO-BURLESQUE SCENE. BY WALKER MACMURDO

wmacmurdo@wweek.com

based performers, their motivations, routines and their many hundreds of rhinestones. WW spoke to Manning about Burlesque and why Portland has become a leader in the tasseled arts.

To the surprise of no one, Portland is blessed with an incredibly active burlesque scene. Since the explosion of the neo-burlesque movement in the mid-2000s, Portland has WW: What was your introducemerged as a national leader in the modern mishmash of dance, tion to Portland burlesque? striptease, comedy, gymnastics— Jon Manning: I had no idea what it was, except imagining and just about anything else it was some kind of strip show. you could imagine a performer We went, and I was blown away incorporating into a stage act by how much it’s not like a strip while mostly naked. And now, we’ve got a movie club. Then, when you learn about it. Directed by Portlandabout it, you realize more and more that it’s not like a strip club. and L.A.-based Jon Manning, MANNING To me, because it’s misunderstood, and who discovered Portland’s thriving burlesque scene when his wife took him to sexy, and funny, because it’s about empowera show in 2009, Burlesque: Heart of the Glit- ment and making a political statement, and ter Tribe, opening this week at Living Room because they’re not doing it for money—all of Theaters, is a look into the lives of Portland- that becomes the basis for a story.

DIAMONDS DANCING REGULAR BURLESQUE NIGHTS ACROSS PORTLAND. Portland is home to more burlesque than you can shake a rhinestone-studded stick at. Here are a handful of the regular burlesque nights across town. JASON SUSIM.

Sinferno Cabaret and Miss Kennedy’s at Dante’s

Sunday evening’s Sinferno Cabaret is the longestrunning show of its kind on the West Coast, voted one of the top 10 burlesque shows in the U.S. by Burlesque Magazine. Every third Sunday of the month, Sinferno is followed by Miss Kennedy’s Theater of Burlesque, where local burlesque boss Alex Kennedy runs

oﬀ-kilter shows—think Full Metal Jacket or The Nightmare Before Christmas, with nudity. 350 W Burnside St., 866-777-8932, danteslive. com. 10 pm.

Funhouse Frolics at Funhouse Lounge

Portland’s most unnerving clown bar oﬀers a free weekly burlesque revue, Funhouse Frolics, every Wednesday. Funhouse also oﬀers frequent irregular burlesque and burlesque-

It literally took a couple of years for us to develop trust with [the performers], for them to trust me that I was a safe person, that I wasn’t going to take advantage of them and that I was smart enough to understand burlesque. I fell in love with these people and realizing why they would give up so much of their life, their time and their money to do something that was so fleeting but created so much joy in the audience. What is it about Portland that makes it a hotbed for burlesque? When I first got into it, I figured that burlesque would be in Portland and, maybe, San Francisco, New Orleans and New York City? Well, try Cincinnati, San Antonio and St. Louis. It’s everywhere. There are people everywhere looking to do it as a performer, and to support it as an audience member. I think part of why it’s a thing here is a combination of West Coast politics, a mashup of drinking and nudity laws which allows those things to be done together, a lot of people here that want to express themselves, and a lot of artists. In town, there are many troupes that do this: I’m going to say that there are at least 100 performers in town, and the film just touches the tip of the iceberg with this. A lot of the performers that we utilized perform all over the country and internationally, and they do that regularly. This isn’t just community theater; these people take burlesque very seriously. Why do you think burlesque is an enduringly popular form of entertainment? I think that it is a very unique combination of a stage experience with new music, politics, a little bit of nudity and a lot of laughter; it’s a unique animal, not what you get at a strip club, and not what you get at the theater. There’s a saying in burlesque: “Love the body you come to the stage with.” A lot of the empowerment comes from the fact that you’re being appreciated without having to necessarily fit the absolute physical norm. Where else do you go for that as a performer or audience member? SEE IT: Burlesque: Heart of the Glitter Tribe is unrated. It opens Friday at Living Room Theaters.

adjacent comedy and variety shows monthly. 2432 SE 11th Ave., 503841-6734, funhouselounge. com. 9:30 pm.

Burlescape!, Burlesque S’il Vous Plait and Rare Vintage Burlesque at Crush Bar Beloved gay bar Crush draws in the burlesquecurious and returning admirers three nights of the month: Burlescape!, 9 pm third Saturday;

Burlesque S’il Vous Plait, 9 pm ﬁrst Friday; Rare Vintage Burlesque, 8:30 pm third Friday quarterly. 1400 SE Morrison St., 503235-8150, crushbar.com.

Burlynomicon at Lovecraft Bar

Horror-themed nightclub Lovecraft runs a monthly burlesque night on the second Tuesday of every month. 421 SE Grand Ave., 971-2707760, thelovecraftbar. com. 8 pm.

Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

MOVIES = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: WALKER MACMURDO. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: wmacmurdo@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK A United Kingdom

There’s no doubt A United Kingdom undertakes an interesting story, the politically forbidden 1947 marriage of Botswanan prince Sir Seretse Khama to English typist Ruth Williams. What’s more, David Oyelowo and Rosamund Pike are two compelling performers for staging this battle of love over racism, and director Amma Asante (Belle, A Way of Life) has crafted convincing period scenery and efficiently storyboarded history. Yet, with all the pieces on the table, it’s as if no one stopped to adapt these facts and faces into a piece of art. We careen into Ruth and Seretse’s 20-minute meet cute montage, and most scenes are breathless exposition, never slowing to give the star-crossed lovers (or actors) a moment for chemistry’s sake. We press on toward an ending conventional but still a little confusing: Love triumphs over a colonial conspiracy happening offscreen? South African apartheid and its ties to the British empire are mentioned constantly as the film’s bogeyman. But the antagonists Oyelowo defeats with his wellpracticed grandstanding skills are just haphazard bureaucrats. It’s a premise much like 2016’s Loving, a little-known anecdote of racial progress worthy of illuminating. The love is there; what’s missing is the care. PG-13. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Bridgeport.

Alex MacKenzie Presents Work From the Iris Film Collective

Experimental filmmaker Alex MacKenzie hosts a collection of new works from Vancouver, B.C.’s Iris Film Collective, a group of indie filmmakers who make experimental films. Boathouse Microcinema, 822 N River St., boathousemicrocinema.com. 7:30 pm Friday, March 3.

Before I Fall

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Nominate your favorites from March 1—31 wweek.com/BOP2017

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A mean girl learns to play nice in this slick, soulless riff on Groundhog Day that isn’t half as heartfelt as it pretends to be. Based on a novel by Lauren Oliver, the film stars Zoey Deutch (Everybody Wants Some!!) as Sam, a popular high school student who’s killed in a car crash two days before Valentine’s Day—and then condemned, by fate and director Ry Russo-Young, to relive that day repeatedly. As she experiences myriad pre-V Day permutations, Sam becomes less of a narcissistic bully, a transformation that the film uses to preach the power of everyday good deeds. Yet when Sam gives a pair of shoes to a lesbian classmate or delivers a pep talk to a girl who’s about to cast herself in front of a moving car, you realize the film is less interested in inspiring compassion than it is in using marginalized women to showcase the nobility of its white, heterosexual heroine. By building its narrative atop that appalling hypocrisy, Before I Fall unwittingly unmasks the offensive implications of both its supposed good intentions and its pseudo-heroic climax, which nonetheless deserves credit for bringing this cheaply sentimental and borderline-unwatchable movie to a merciful close. PG-13. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Bridgeport, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Tigard.

Get Out

Which is scarier: being asked for your ID by a police officer, or an isolated estate full of elderly, grinning millionaires bidding for your body? In his directorial debut, Jordan Peele of sketchcomedy Key and Peele fame posits that if you’re a black man, it isn’t unequivocally the latter. Brooklyn photographer Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) and his new girlfriend, Rose (Allison Williams), head to the palatial estate of Rose’s therapist and neurosurgeon parents (Catherine Keener and Bradley Whitford) in upstate New York for the weekend. Despite the Armitages’ outward friendliness, something is amiss. Their two black house servants are eerily polite, and Rose’s brother, Jeremy (Caleb Landry Jones), is hostile. Most horror movies progress on a logic of bad decisions, which Peele wisely abandons. As Chris, Kaluuya never overplays his hand, stoically taking every quietly patronizing slight without a flinch. The omnipresent problem of the cellphone’s universal access to help is flipped into an expositive tool for Chris to converse with his scenestealingly funny TSA agent-turnedamateur detective best friend, Rod (Lil Rel Howery). What emerges, with nods to the absurdist anxiety of Rosemary’s Baby and the existential terror of Michael Haneke is a tightly wound, viciously funny comment on the quotidian horror of life in black America: You can make all of the right decisions, and still find yourself in mortal danger by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. R. WALKER MACMURDO. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore

This surprise Grand Jury winner at last month’s Sundance festival might explore the unlikely aspirations of a heretofore lumpen subject suddenly inflamed with purpose, but the Portlandshot dark comedy doesn’t quite herald greatness for semi-lovable losers. The new Netflix release stars Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures, Togetherness) as an overly nice, under-socialized nurse’s aide pushed toward vigilantism following a robbery and subsequent police inaction. An impromptu investigation enlists the help of shuriken-wielding, Bible-thumping neighbor Elijah Wood, leading to a confrontation with a band of villains that include ex-Jesus Lizard frontman David Yow. IDFAHITWA echoes the propulsive thrillers of first-time director Macon Blair’s longtime friend Jeremy Saulnier— Blair starred in Saulnier’s Cannesblessed Blue Ruin and Patrick Stewart-headed Green Room—but the sharp focus on blurred characters and the drolly confident amble between distinct tones and genres harks back to an earlier generation of indie films, which fits all too well the less-than-lovely role handed to our fair city. A sloppily untrimmed, factory-damaged hipsterville peopled by feckless fantasists and maladjusted obsessives, this Portland is where the dreams of the ’90s came to die. NR. JAY HORTON. Netflix.

Logan

No Country for Old Mutants? Children of Mutants? The Wolvenator? Moments in, as the ﬁrst blade pierces the ﬁrst of many skulls, you’ll notice that Hugh Jackman’s last turn as Logan (aka Wolverine) is not the fun, kitschy romp the X-Men franchise tag may lead you to believe.

JUSTIN LUBIN

GET OUT In late 2020s San Antonio, Logan is an aging, hard-drinking limo driver who ferries prescription pills across the border to a nonagenarian Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and his mutant-sensing caretaker, Caliban (Stephen Merchant). A tough situation gets even more complicated when a Mexican child, Laura (Dafne Keen), and her nurse appear offering him a bundle of money to take Laura to a safe house in North Dakota, with bionically modified mercenaries in pursuit. Logan is superhero movie as apocalyptic Southern gothic. Between artery-severing action sequences, which director James Mangold airs out with surgical glee, are long shots of terse conversations and English-Spanish screaming matches, all riveting thanks to Jackman, Stewart and Keen’s effortless chemistry. But what quietly shines is Mangold’s suffocating picture of a not-quite apocalyptic American heartland of militarized private security forces, building-sized industrial harvesters and surprisingly nightmarish driverless trucks. Despite tonal missteps, a major one serving as the film’s transition to the third act, Logan is a thinking man’s superhero flick: the best “gritty” offering we’ve had since The Dark Knight Returns. R. WALKER MACMURDO. Bagdad, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cinemagic, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Twin, Tigard, Vancouver.

Portland Oregon Documentary All-Stars

The second screening at Portland DIY darling Matt McCormick’s Boathouse Microcinema. A selection of works from Portland documentarians Michael Palmieri, Donal Mosher and the Emmy-nominated Andrew Hinton, with the ﬁlmmakers in attendance. Boathouse Microcinema, 822 N River St., boathousemicrocinema.com. 7:30 pm Wednesday, March 1.

Reel Feminism: Reproductive Justice Night

This iteration of the Clinton’s monthly series on intersectional feminism features the 1995 doc Jane: An Abortion Service, chronicling a Chicago woman who performed more than 10,000 illegal abortions between 1969 and 1973, and the 2012 doc A Girl Like Her, a history of the “maternity homes” of the 1950s and ’60s where single pregnant women were secreted to give birth and hand over their children for adoption. PG-13. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Tuesday, March 7.

Rock Dog

Arriving one week after The

Great Wall’s top-budgeted assault on the American movie market, Rock Dog—China’s most expensive animated feature—concerns itself with simpler hurdles. When a sitar-wielding young pup stumbles on his first radio and falls head over heels for the first taste of the devil’s music, will Bodi (Luke Wilson) follow the family trade and protect a village of exceedingly dim sheep from wolven gangsters? Can our hero breach the gates of faded glam icon Angus Scattergood (Eddie Izzard as equal parts Bill Nighy and Bill the Cat) and inspire the burned-out superstar toward new creative heights? If Chinese financiers sent pop idol Zheng Jun’s graphic novel Tibetan Rock Dog to U.S. animators, would the resulting movie make a lick of sense? Largely absent the weak verbal jabs and sitcom interpersonal complications usually dragging down kid flicks, studio Reel FX instead amps up the intensity of the visual gags and fine-tunes the characters with Looney Tuneish nuance. Offering nary a moral lesson to be learned, the streamlined story zips from one joke to the next with welcome space for left-field absurdities and a casual momentum even the godawful musical numbers can’t entirely neuter. The creators behind Rock Dog know nothing of rock ’n’ roll— nor, seemingly, dogs. With cartoons, that may be a blessing. PG. JAY HORTON. Bridgeport, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Shack

Bear with me here: A man’s daughter is brutally murdered by a serial killer in a shack in the Oregon wilderness. After receiving a mysterious letter, the man returns in a deep depression to the shack, where he meets incarnations of God (Octavia Spencer), the Holy Spirit and Jesus. Based on the best-selling Christian novel by William Young. Not screened for critics. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

Table 19

In a new comedy from mumblecore dons Jay and Mark Duplass, Anna Kendrick stars as a Eloise, who attends her friend’s wedding after being dumped from the wedding party. Review to come next week. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport.

Takashi Makino: Expanded Abstraction

A collection of short ﬁlms from Tokyo experimental ﬁlmmaker Takashi Makino, who uses multiple-exposure techniques to

craft abstract, nonlinear exploration of form. Makino will attend, and a Q&A will follow the screening. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, March 6.

READERS’ POLL

STILL SHOWING 20th Century Women

There are moments when Mike Mills’ semi-autobiographical family drama is wittily revolutionary, especially when Abbie (Greta Gerwig) teaches her teenage son the basics of feminism and later galvanizes a dinner party by coaching the guests to say “menstruation” in unison. 20th Century Women has a frankness that is welcome and rare in American cinema. R. Fox Tower.

Nominate your favorites from March 1—31

Arrival

Arrival inspires because of sorrowful linguist Louise Banks (Amy Adams), who enters a spaceship hovering above Montana shrouded in grief but still has compassion for both aliens and humanity. PG-13. Fox Tower, Tigard.

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Nominate your favorites from March 1—31

Assassin’s Creed

The best line in this lurid, noisy adaptation of the best-selling video game series about time-traveling assassins comes from Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbender): “What the fuck is going on?” It’s a fair question. PG-13. Vancouver.

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Bitter Harvest

Nothing sets oﬀ the Ukranian genocide quite like a sappy love story. R. Fox Tower.

A Cure for Wellness

If you’re going to include child rape in a story, there must be an unavoidable narrative necessity for it. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Doctor Strange

Thanks to director Scott Derrickson’s confidently superficial storytelling, this film’s imagery has a dizzying power. PG-13. Vancouver.

A Dog’s Purpose

Filmgoers were barking mad when they thought the producers of A Dog’s Purpose had abused a canine on set. But this tale of doggy death and rebirth exploits every inch of furry adorability to blot out critical faculties and fan the sparks of true emotion. Who’s a good movie?! PG-13. Bridgeport, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Vancouver.

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CONT. on page 50 Willamette Week MARCH 1, 2017 wweek.com

MOVIES Set in the wilderness of Mongolia, this astounding documentary follows a 13-year-old Kazakh girl who hunts with the help of a golden eagle. PG-13. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Fences

Denzel Washington swings for the fences with his adaptation of August Wilson’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play about a struggling African-American blue-collar family in 1950s Pittsburgh, hitting a home run and, uh, stealing third base? PG-13. Living Room Theaters.

Fifty Shades Darker

With unguarded humor and sometimes even something verging on wit, Darker discusses consent, sexual boundaries, trauma and relationship autonomy with a frankness that honestly makes it, despite soap-opera drama and predictability, a pretty good movie. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Pioneer Place, Vancouver.

Fist Fight

Something like a three-episode It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia in which Charlie gets a black teacher ﬁred but is still the hero of the movie. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Founder

Amid the past few years’ McConaissance, did we fail to notice the Keatoning? Judging by his spot in this biopic about McDonald’s impresario Ray Kroc, he’s a “serious, important” actor now. PG-13. Laurelhurst.

Gold

Gold is like Wolf of Wall Street except with gold instead of junk bonds, unlikable Matt McConaughey instead of begrudgingly likable Leo, and 45 minutes of unnecessary exposition instead of naked Margot Robbie. R. Laurelhurst.

The Great Wall

This movie may have been engineered by Hollywood’s top scientists to make as much money as possible by bridging the gap between the Chinese and U.S. ﬁlm markets, but it’s still a pretty fun, albeit messy, ride. Beaverton Wunderland, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Hacksaw Ridge

A morally repugnant bloodbath, this would-be epic stares into the maw of World War II through the eyes of

combat medic Desmond Doss (Andrew Garﬁeld), who rescued dozens of his comrades at Okinawa—without ever ﬁring a gun. R. Vancouver.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could carry a tune, Moana is a ringing aﬃrmative. PG. Academy, Avalon, Empirical, Kennedy School, Vancouver.

Hidden Figures

Monster Trucks

Why does Kevin Costner get the biggest racism-busting line in a movie about underappreciated black women who contributed to NASA’s Apollo 11 trip to the Moon? PG. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Moreland, Oak Grove, St. Johns Pub and Theater, Tigard, Vancouver.

I Am Not Your Negro

Raoul Peck develops an unﬁnished James Baldwin manuscript to eloquently tell the story of American racism. Cinema 21, Hollywood, Kiggins.

Jackie

Aided by Mica Levi’s ghostly string score, Pablo Larraín’s peppering in of archival news footage from the time, and Portman’s most spectacular performance yet, this ﬁlm is less an isolated Jackie Kennedy biopic than a dark and conceptual statement on how the American people classiﬁes, experiences and remembers historic tragedies. R. Fox Tower.

John Wick: Chapter 2

Monster Trucks is really good for a children’s movie about a kid named Tripp (Lucas Till) who has a monster living in his truck. PG. Avalon.

Moonlight

*Dancehall_airhorn.mp3* R. Cinema 21, Clackamas.

Oscar Nominated Shorts

They go underappreciated and mostly unseen by mainstream audiences during the year, but this week the Oscarnominated animated and live-action shorts make it to select Portland-area screens. Hollywood, Kiggins, Living Room Theaters.

Passengers

When a malfunction in Chris Pratt’s hibernation pod leaves him awake and alone decades early on a 120-year space voyage, he decides to wake up Jennifer Lawrence for companionship, telling her that her pod malfunctioned as well. This is very creepy when you think about it. PG-13. Academy, Avalon, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Vancouver.

The Red Turtle

This may be the smartest, most beautifully shot movie ever made that’s basically a montage of people getting shot in the head. R. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

The ﬁrst non-Japanese animation from Studio Ghibli is a simple fable on paper, but this heart-rending depiction of a man stranded on a desert island and the giant turtle that torments him is a tour de force in visual storytelling. PG. LAUREN TERRY. Cinema 21, City Center.

La La Land

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

*Sad_trombone.mp3*. PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Lego Batman Movie

Fast, funny and pleasingly drunk on the joys of mockery, The Lego Batman Movie is as fun as the 2014 original but stars Will Arnett as a petulant, preening goofball who rocks out on an electric guitar and showers orphans with cool toys from a merch gun. PG. Bagdad, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Roseway, St. Johns Twin Cinema & Pub, Tigard, Vancouver.

Loving

The true story of Richard (Joel Edgerton) and Mildred Loving (Ruth Negga), the interracial couple who challenged U.S. miscegenation laws all the way to the Supreme Court, Loving emits slow, relaxed scenes that rely on touch rather than dialogue to illustrate the Lovings’ palpable tenderness. PG-13. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Manchester by the Sea

How do you start over when your transgressions refuse to stay buried? According to director Kenneth Lonergan, you don’t, and that denial is one of too many reasons Manchester by the Sea, while admirably toughminded, is also a drag. R. Fox Tower, Tigard.

Moana

If you were curious whether

PREVIEW C O U R T E S Y O F P O W F E S T. C O M

The Eagle Huntress

The sixth and ﬁnal (yeah, right) movie in the long-running franchise based on the video game series about zombies, starring an apparently ageless Milla Jovovich. R. Jubitz, Vancouver.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

The best Star Wars ﬁlm since The Empire Strikes Back, this gritty spinoﬀ brings a depth of humanity to the galaxy that the series hadn’t ever seen. PG-13. Bridgeport, Eastport, Fox Tower, Vancouver.

Silence

Silence is the exact kind of lifelong passion project you’d expect a 74-yearold man to make about religion: a winding, sincere mess of heavy-handed symbolism and old-timey racism, set oﬀ with bad accents and worse voice-overs. R. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Sing

If you’ve been yearning for Seth MacFarlane to play a mouse who sings like Sinatra, this is your movie. PG. Clackamas.

Split

James McAvoy stars as a guy with multiple-personality disorder who kidnaps a group of young girls, who must try to coax one of the good personalities to set them free. Is this problematic? PG-13. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Pioneer Place, Vancouver.

Why Him?

I ask this question every time James Franco is cast in a comedy, too. R. Vancouver.

XXX: Return of Xander Cage

Do we need another Fast and Furious franchise? The new Vin Diesel ﬂick answers that question by ﬂipping double birds while hitting a stoppie into a villain. R. Avalon, Jubitz.

BLACK MAGIC WOMAN: Black Cat.

Women’s March

Portland plays home to film festivals large and small, but most don’t regularly attract major Hollywood names like Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight, Thirteen) and Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker, the good Point Break). But POWFest isn’t most Portland film festivals. POWFest—an acronym for both Portland Oregon Women’s Festival and Power of Women Festival—is a four-day extravaganza of 78 films whittled down from over a thousand entries. Starting March 2 at the Hollywood Theatre, the festival is celebrating its 10th birthday. And it’s not running out of breath. This year’s guest of honor is Cheryl Dunye, the groundbreaking filmmaker whose 1996 feature, The Watermelon Woman, was the first film about black lesbians made by an out black lesbian. “This year, we’re in celebration mode,” explains Tara JohnsonMedinger, executive director of POWFest. “We have a performance by Milck, who was made famous by the D.C. Women’s March, a whole education day with panelists entrenched in Hollywood, the NW Film Center and our first guest of honor, Cheryl Dunye.” We’ve selected three films that you shouldn’t miss at this year’s POWFest. If you’re a no-show, you won’t meet Alysia Reiner, whom you may know as Figueroa from Orange Is the New Black. JACK RUSHALL.

The annual Portland Oregon Women’s Festival returns with a fresh emphasis on POC, trans and non-local ﬁlm directors.

Barbarian Press

Sarah Race’s new mini-doc follows Crispin and Jan Elsted, a fittingly fictitious couple, who have dedicated their lives and marriage to producing “beautiful” things. Specifically, fresh, flamboyant covers for classic books. “The useful and the beautiful are necessary together, and that’s the function of what we do,” exclaims Crispin. However, the Elsteds are getting old, and their millennial—that’s right, millennial—daughter Apollonia isn’t interested in the family business. “My generation doesn’t put passion first and foremost,” laments the millennial Apollonia. 12:30 pm Sunday, March 5.

Swipe Right

With the running time of an extended music video, Kendall Goldberg’s Swipe Right falls somewhere between thriller and horror. In the film, which follows a young girl on a Tinder date, everything that could go wrong does, and not in a “doesn’t get a second date” way. In an “innocent people get fragments of wine glasses lodged in their necks” way. In step-by-step Tarantino fashion, this tart daydream exposes the same feeling most of us are certain to experience come the Love Actually sequel. You’re going to have trouble understanding why it’s so damn short. 9 pm Thursday, March 2.

Black Cat BOB MAHONEY

Black Cat is a paradoxical, deformed love triangle between a teen witch, her left-brain single dad and the family cat. Directed by Leonie Savvides, this 15-minute Australian selection has some sincerely sinister moments as it explores the life of a young girl hell-bent on either killing her father with some ratchet black magic, or turning her cat into a demon so it’ll do the dirty deed for her. 9 pm Friday, March 3. For more Movies listings, visit

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SEE IT: The Portland Oregon Women’s Festival screens at the Hollywood Theatre on March 2-5. See powfest.com for the full schedule.

end roll

’Backs for Sacks FIVE WAYS TO GET THE GREEN YOU NEED TO START A CANNABUSINESS.

BY K E R RY H A RW I N

Despite the seemingly endless line of new cannabis ventures in Portland, our streets would undoubtedly be crowded with even more green crosses if the other kind of green weren’t in short supply. As ATM-fee-paying consumers of the plant know, most banks won’t do business with companies that, in industry parlance, “touch the leaf.” Not only are debit cards unwelcome, but many traditional routes of business finance are closed to growers and sellers. So how do you live the dream and make money on weed? We sat down with Brad Blommer and Perry Salzhauer of Portland’s Green Light Law Group, to discuss the options for budding entrepreneurs.

1. HIT UP YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

ence and attend investment workshops to cultivate contacts that may lead to cash.

3. GET YOUR PROSPECTUS TO A PRIVATE EQUITY FUND. We won’t bullshit you: If you’ve flipped to your favorite alternative weekly for investment advice, you probably don’t have the size and savvy to show up on the radar of the formal private equity industry. But the role of this investment, often from out-of-state players, is growing exponentially, according to Blommer. “You need to have an established brand,” he says. “If you can show them you’ve been making some money…and you have a brand they believe in, we’re seeing some of these private equity companies try to buy you out or work out some kind of partnership deal.”

If they’re smart, those close to you probably know any new business venture is risky, especially when the president and attorney general are deeply opposed to weed and the market is competitive. Still, this is the most frequently traveled route, and awkward conversations are often an unfortunate but necessary part of getting a cannabis business off the ground. “It’s by far the most common route for smaller companies,” Blommer says. “Just leveraging friends and family to get their feet off the ground.” With dispensaries, this usually means asking for loans. For cannabis production, it often means that one partner brings growing expertise while another brings the land. If you’re new to the industry and don’t have any ideas yet, stop reading here and go update your résumé. Other financiers aren’t going to talk to you until you have some experience.

4. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU CAN GET A LOAN.

2. SHOP YOUR BUSINESS PLAN AT AN INDUSTRY EVENT.

Salzhauer and Blommer both say they’ve heard from clients that Chinese investors have recently arrived in Oregon, looking to put money in the industry. When asked if they’re comfortable being quoted on that, the two lawyers took a long pause before making it clear they’ve heard nothing more than rumors at this point. So while we can’t direct potential entrepreneurs down any specific avenues, Mandarin fluency may soon be a tactical advantage in Oregon’s cannabis industry.

Cannabis industry events can be found all over the country, but Oregonians have more than most. From formal trade shows, like the recent Cannabis Collaborative Conference, to more relaxed gatherings, like the golf and bowling tournaments put on by Portland’s Fore Twenty Sports, industry events provide crucial networking spaces for newbies. You can meet partners with industry experi-

People do get traditional loans for cannabis businesses—but there are some catches. First, you need collateral. If you have it, “you can find hard money lenders,” Salzhauer says. Still, that’s typically only available to finance the real estate portion of your venture, he explains, and “you really need to be dialed in to the real estate finance world.” Start by talking to lawyers who represent real estate financiers. If you don’t happen to have any real estate financiers among your contacts, the Arcview Group, a California-based cannabis consulting and investment adviser, is the dominant industry connector for cannabis deals.

5. TRY CHINA?

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Air Adelson THE OHSU AERIAL TRAMWAY IS NOT A TERRIBLE EYESORE, AND WILL NOW BE STOLEN FROM US. BY DR. MITCHELL MILLAR

The Portland Aerial Tram turned 10 in December. Hard to believe—our bouncing baby tram is almost old enough to tie his own shoes. When was the last time you rode the tram? I try to go once a week, more if I can get away with it. I take a long, leisurely lunch break, grab an ice cream and say to the operator going up, “Hey buster, slow and steady wins the race.” In 10 years, the tram has become so deeply ingrained in the culture of Portland that it’s now a part of the city’s collective consciousness and citizenry, inextricable from what it means to be a Portlander in 2017. Yet it was always naive to believe the tram’s existence could continue for much longer in a city that can’t seem to stop driving off its best businesses and most cherished cultural institutions. Friends, the day we have dreaded is drawing near. It’s time to face the bitter reality that our beloved tram will soon be gone. We must begin planning for a tramless Portland. Unlike notable local closures that can be attributed to greedy Californian landlords or failure to turn a profit, the tram is not simply shuttering—it is owed to somebody else and will be relocated. Although public financing disclosures originally indicated that design and construction were funded by Oregon Health & Science University (with minor support from the city of Portland), it was recently revealed this is not quite the case. The money thought to have come from OHSU actually came from a holding company owned and operated jointly by OHSU and Nevada casino tycoon Sheldon Adelson. There was an obscure buyout clause in the agreement between OHSU and Adelson that he recently invoked. The Portland Aerial Tram must be packed and transported at the city’s expense to arrive in Las Vegas before the end of the year. In Las Vegas, the tram will be reassembled and begin its second life offering express round-trip service between McCarran International Airport and the Venetian hotel, where hopefully its gondola-style cars will find themselves right at home. Portland is expected to break ground on disassembly in early December. The forfeiture of the popular tram could not come at a worse time for the embattled administration of Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler. It’s not immediately clear how and when a plan to replace the tram will be implemented, but one idea apparently gaining traction at City Hall is to build a giant catapult. The specially designed catapult would launch giant Velcro-covered transportation pods at a giant Velcro wall at the top of Marquam Hill. Supposedly, the impact of the high-speed collision would be mostly absorbed because both the pods and the wall would be covered in a thick layer of Posturepedic foam. Advocates of the Catapult Plan contend that if it proves popular on Marquam Hill, additional catapults and Velcro walls could be added throughout the city. Opponents argue that the catapult and Velcro wall would probably be very expensive. Wheeler said the city is planning a going-away party for the tram, and hinted at a live musical performance by Pink Martini. The last day of operation for the tram is scheduled for Thanksgiving Day, though it’s expected to be open only to VIP riders that day.

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22 Spicy coffee shop order 23 Denims kept clean during auction time? 27 Be in another form? 30 Dave Grohl band ___ Fighters 31 Concert purchase 32 “The Addams Family” cousin 33 Actor Diggs 35 Firm ending? 37 Actor James Van ___ Beek 39 What part of each theme answer has to do to fit

45 Six-pack unit 46 Glass on NPR 47 Schooner steerer 48 “Do you even lift, ___?” 50 Cobra ___ (“The Karate Kid” dojo) 53 Bother 55 “Sure thing” 56 Author of “A Series of Unfortunate Kravitzes”? 60 “The Thin Man” canine 61 English actor McKellen 62 Engine buildup 66 Reminder of an

Down 1 “___ Nagila” 2 Cinema sign 3 “Dallas Buyers Club” Oscar winner Jared 4 Backup operation 5 “Fuel” performer DiFranco 6 Cuban sandwich ingredient 7 Carne ___ (burrito filler) 8 Most wise 9 Ralph’s wife on “The Honeymooners” 10 Reason to wear a hat, maybe 11 Tilted 12 Believer in a deity 15 Dulce de ___ 18 1970s heartthrob Garrett 24 “___ Time” (Sublime song) 25 Refuses to 26 “Star Wars: The Last ___” 27 Cash cache, for short 28 Singer Corinne Bailey ___ 29 It’s good to keep

during an interview 34 Vowel for Plato 36 It’s represented by X 38 Mag. employees 40 Blue Pac-Man ghost 41 With 19-Across, “Spamalot” creator 42 “Superstore” actor McKinney 43 It’s not a freaking “alternative fact” 44 Ernie of the PGA Tour 48 Criticizes loudly 49 Save from disaster 51 “___ said many times ...” 52 Surrounded by standstill traffic 54 Beer barrels 57 Stoolies, in Sussex 58 Montoya who sought the sixfingered man 59 Bingham of “Baywatch” 63 “Frankenstein” helper 64 Bear whose porridge was too cold 65 “30 for 30” cable channel 68 Tightrope walker’s protection 69 Miracle-___ (garden brand) last week’s answers

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Week of March 2

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

I predict that you will have earned the title of Master Composter no later than March 26. Not necessarily because you will have packed your food scraps, wilted flowers, coffee grounds, and shredded newspapers in, say, a deluxe dual-chamber tumbling compost bin. But rather because you will have dealt efficiently with the rotting emotions, tattered habits, decrepit melodramas, and trivial nonsense that has accumulated; you will have worked hard to transform all that crap into metaphorical fertilizer for your future growth. Time to get started!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

It’s a good time for you to wield your emotional intelligence with leadership and flair. The people you care about need more of your sensitive influence. Any posse or tribe you’re part of will benefit from your thoughtful intervention. So get out there and build up the group morale, Taurus. Assert your healing ideals with panache. Tamp down the insidious power of peer pressure and fashionable nonsense. You have a mandate to wake up sleepy allies and activate the dormant potential of collective efforts.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

If you were ever in your life going to be awarded an honorary PhD from a top university, it would happen in the next few weeks. If there were even a remote possibility that you would someday be given one of those MacArthur Fellowship “genius” grants, now would be the time. Likewise if you had any hopes of being selected as one of “The World’s Sexiest Chameleons” or “The Fastest, Sweetest Talkers on Earth” or “The Planet’s Most Virtuoso Vacillators,” the moment has arrived. And even if none of those things happen, I’m still pretty sure that your reputation and status will be on the rise.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

You’re wandering into places you’ve always thought you should be wary of or skeptical about. Good for you! As long as you protect your innocence, I encourage you to keep exploring. To my delight, you have also been fantasizing about accomplishments that used to be off-limits. Again, I say: Good for you! As long as you don’t overreach, I invite you to dream boldly, even brazenly. And since you seem to be in the mood for big thinking, here are other revolutionary activities to consider: dissolving nonessential wishes; transcending shrunken expectations; escaping the boring past; busting irrelevant taboos.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

I did a good job of raising my daughter. She turned out to be a thoughtful, intelligent adult with high integrity and interesting skills. But I’m not sure my parenting would have been as effective if I’d had more kids. I discussed this issue with Nathan, a guy I know. His six offspring are all grown up, too. “How did you do it?” I asked him. “Having just one child was a challenging job for me.” “I’ll tell you my secret,” Nathan told me. “I’m a bad father. I didn’t work very hard on raising my kids. And now they never let me forget it.” In the coming weeks and months, Leo, I recommend that you pursue my approach in your chosen field, not Nathan’s. Aim for high-quality intensity rather than scattershot quantity.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

In her poem “Not Anyone Who Says,” Virgo writer Mary Oliver looks down on people who declare, “I’m going to be careful and smart in matters of love.” She disparages the passion of anyone who asserts, “I’m going to choose slowly.” Instead she champions those who are “chosen by something invisible and powerful and uncontrollable and beautiful and possibly even unsuitable.” Here’s my response: Her preferred formula sounds glamorous and dramatic and romantic -- especially the powerful and beautiful part. But in practice it rarely works out well -maybe just ten percent of the time -- mostly because of the uncontrollable and unsuitable part. And now is not one of those times for you, Virgo. Be careful and smart in matters of love, and choose slowly.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The poet Rainer Maria Rilke bemoaned the fact that so many of us “squander our sorrows.” Out of self-pity or lazy self-indulgence, we wallow in memories of experiences that didn’t turn out the way we wished they would have. We paralyze ourselves with repetitions of depleting thoughts. Here’s an alternative to that approach: We could use our sadness and frustrations to transform ourselves. We could treat them as fuel to motivate our escape from what doesn’t work, to inspire our determination to rise above what demoralizes and demeans us. I mention this, Libra, because now is an excellent time to do exactly that.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

It’s time for the Bliss Blitz -- a new holiday just for you Scorpios. To celebrate it properly, get as buoyant as you dare; be greedy for euphoria; launch a sacred quest for pleasure. Ah, but here’s the big question: Can you handle this much relief and release? Are you strong enough to open yourself to massive outbreaks of educational delight and natural highs? Some of you may not be prepared. You may prefer to remain ensconced in your protective sheath of cool cynicism. But if you think you can bear the shock of unprecedented exaltation and jubilation, then go ahead and risk it. Experiment with the unruly happiness of the Bliss Blitz.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

In his book The Horologicon, Mark Forsyth gathered “obscure but necessary” words that he dug out of old dictionaries. One of his discoveries is a perfect fit for you right now. It’s “snudge,” a verb that means to walk around with a pensive look on your face, appearing to be busy or in the midst of productive activity, when in fact you’re just goofing off. I recommend it for two reasons: 1. It’s important for your mental and physical health that you do a lot of nothing; that you bless yourself with a healing supply of refreshing emptiness. 2. It’s important for your mental and physical health that you do this on the sly as much as possible; that you avoid being judged or criticized for it by others.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I wish your breakfast cereal came in boxes decorated with Matisse and Picasso paintings. I wish songbirds would greet you each morning with sweet tunes. I wish you’d see that you have more power than you realize. I wish you knew how uniquely beautiful you are. I wish you’d get intoxicated with the small miracles that are happening all around you. I wish that when you made a bold move to improve your life, everyone greeted it with curiosity and excitement. And I wish you would let your imagination go half-wild with fascinating fantasies during this, the Capricorn wishing season.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

“You’re a different human being to everybody you meet,” says novelist Chuck Palahniuk. Now is an excellent time to contemplate the intricacies and implications of that amazing truth -- and start taking better advantage of how much freedom it gives you. Say the following statements out loud and see how they feel: 1. “My identity isn’t as narrowly circumscribed as I think it is.” 2. “I know at least 200 people, so there must be at least 200 facets to my character.” 3. “I am too complicated to be completely comprehended by any one person.” 4. “Consistency is overrated.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Your immediate future is too good to be true. Or at least that’s what you, with your famous self-doubt, might be inclined to believe if I told you the truth about the favorable developments that are in the works. Therefore, I have come up with some fake anxieties to keep your worry reflex engaged so it won’t sabotage the real goodies. Beware of dirty limericks and invisible ladders and upside-down rainbows and psychic bunny rabbits. Be on guard against accountants wearing boxing gloves and clowns singing Broadway show tunes in runaway shopping carts and celebrities telling you classified secrets in your dreams.

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