A Wedding Guide for Women of Color Volume 2 Issue I
the
Broom www.jumpingthebroomsc.com
Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier Indian Wedding Traditions and Customs 8 Unique Ideas for Bridesmaid Gifts Until In-Laws Do Us Part
contents
From the Desk of the Founder
4
Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier
5
Indian Wedding Customs
9 12
8 Unique Ideas for Bridesmaid Gifts
14
Till In-Laws Do Us Part- Advice for the Bride-to-Be
20
A&B Photo Service - Photos by Anita
5 Reasons a Wedding Coordinator May Save You Money
What is Jumping the Broom? It is an African American tradition relating to wedding ceremonies. Jumping the Broom signifies a remembrance of cultural heritage and the beginning of making a home together.
About the cover... Cover image graciously provided by Daniel and Kelli Taylor. They are very talented photographers based in Birmingham, Alabama.
Jumping the Broom ~ 3
From the Desk of the Founder
A Wedding Guide for Women of Color Volume 2 Issue I
the
Broom
Thanks for picking up a copy of our first anniversary edition! WOW! What a year! I never could have guessed this would happen to me – but I am at a lost for words! When a dream becomes a reality it’s as though you are living on another level. It’s like dreaming all day long - what a wonderful feeling! I know that I will never forget 2010 nor will I be able to thank all of the people involved in making this dream a reality, but I am going to try.
Founder / Publisher Anita Brewer
Layout Designer / Web Designer Pride Productions Will McLeod
wwwwwww For Advertising Information Contact: jumpingthebroomsc@gmail.com 803.238.4749 Jumping the Broom publisher and advertisers are not responsible for liable, misprints, typographical errors, and misinformation herein contained. We reserve the right to reject, edit, or accept any articles, advertisements, or information to be printed in the publication. Jumping the Broom believes that the information contained in this publication is accurate. However, the information is not warranted and Jumping the Broom does not assume any liability or responsibility for any damages resulting from inaccurate or erroneous information. No part of the publication may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. wwwwwww All rights reserved. Printed in the U.S.A. 5000 copies printed twice each year. © Jumping the Broom 2010
4 ~ December 2010
Our motto at Jumping the Broom magazine is to provide a quality product at a reasonable price. If you know anything about my photography business, you’ll know that that has been my slogan for A&B Photo Service for more than 10 years. Jumping the Broom magazine has grown tremendously in its first year of business. We held our first bridal show in Columbia, SC which was met with much approbation. The first Jumping the Broom Bridal Show was a HUGE feat for a left-brain-photographer with no idea how-to or where-to start, but I kept hearing that motto…just provide a quality event with reasonable vendor rates and they will come! And did they come! I gotta thank the Jumping the Broom Bridal Show 2010 committee members: Sheila Ponds, Tara Robinson, and Peggie Funny who worked so diligently behind the scenes. Thanks to all of my dear friends who volunteered their time – I truly appreciate you! Thanks to my special friend for always being there listening to my ideas and bringing me back down to earth with a gentle tug. Thanks to all of the wonderful sponsors and vendors! (See you again next year!) Thanks to my high school and college interns (Brittaney M., Brittany A., & Kimberley H.) for working so hard at the event – you did a great job! Thanks to all of the brides-to-be, guests and friends who came out to the bridal show! And a special shout-out to Kena Tangi Dorsey, director, writer, producer of the film, Jump the Broom: A Musical. The film was excellent! You gotta see it! And yes, stop texting me, I am inviting Ms. Dorsey to come back next year right now…will you come? In this first anniversary issue, we did our first interview with a superstar in the bridal business, Mark Ingram! OMG! Ladies, this man knows what YOU need to wear on that special day…TRUST him. Read about Indian wedding customs; get tips on unique wedding bridesmaid’s gifts; and check out the article on in-laws! Let me know what you think on Facebook at our Jumping the Broom magazine page! As always, we want YOU to consider the advertisers who support US. We strongly believe that our advertisers provide quality, personal service and live in OUR community, so shop right here in town! We want you to visit an advertiser’s website, but they’d love to see you in their shops too! Thanks to HIM who made all of this come to fruition! Enjoy! Anita
Welcome to our First Anniversary Edition!
I hope you find the articles and advertisements in Jumping the Broom: A Wedding Guide for Women of Color useful for you, or a friend or relative. Jumping the Broom magazine began out of my desire to market my photography business in a new way to a wider audience. I wondered why so many small businesspersons had not advertised in local bridal magazines and newspapers. When I looked into the cost of advertising in those local publications, I clearly understood the reasons why. We (myself included)
could not afford to place an ad in those magazines. Many of us operate our businesses out of our homes (as I did for a number of years) or small office space, and sometimes work a full-time job too! After talking with other small businesspersons who were in the same predicament, I thought it would be a good idea to start my own magazine with economical advertising rates but with a high-quality product. With your support, I will keep running this race!
Thank you for allowing me to reach this feat!
A Wedding Guide for Women of Color Volume 2 Issue I
the
Broom www.jumpingthebroomsc.com
Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier Indian Wedding Traditions and Customs 8 Unique Ideas for Bridesmaid Gifts Until In-Laws Do Us Part
Would you like to place an ad with us? Go to www.jumpingthebroomsc.com or call Anita at 803-238-4749.
Jumping the Broom ~ 5
Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier
written by Jason Darby
What is an atelier? An artist’s or designer’s studio or workroom. From childhood, Mark Ingram was drawn to fashion. His earliest memories revolve around Saturday morning trips to stores along New York City’s Fifth Avenue with his grandparents. Products of the Harlem Renaissance, Ingram’s grandparents were fashionable people who often spoiled him with fine, custom-made offerings such as B. Altman and Best & Co. “It was there that I began to gain an eye for fashion,” says Ingram. He would take that eye for fashion, and turn it into a successful 30-year career, beginning in the early 1980s as a 21-year-old merchandising executive for the legendary Fifth Avenue specialty stores, Bonwit Teller and Bergdorff Goodman. In 1984, Ingram settled into wholesale industry, securing merchandising and sales management positions with designer and luxury goods manufacturers. While Ingram had always had a fascination with brides and weddings, it was his role in planning the details for his sister’s 1994 nuptials that would lead him along the path of becoming one of the bridal industry’s foremost experts. That same year, he joined Amsale, a leading couture bridal house, as its sales director, and Ingram would later become the retail director for Wearkstatt, a chic, couture bridal salon located in Manhattan’s Soho neighborhood. His role as director would allow him to seek out new talent and establish connections with internationally recognized designers. In January 2002, Ingram would use his experience, connections and love for fashion to create a unique experience for women preparing for what will be one of their most important milestones - Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier.
6 ~ December 2010
Ingram describes the Bridal Atelier as ’a little jewel box in New York City,’ having deliberately chosen both vendors and a location to set a milieu that is both personal and intimate. “These considerations were central,” says Ingram, “because this is ‘once-in-a-lifetime purchase’ and marks a very important year for the bride.” That once-in-a-lifetime purchase, for many women, involves the search for the “perfect dress.” According to Mark, the perfect dress is different for each bride. “The perfect dress makes her (the bride) smile,” he says. “It’s the one that speaks to her in herself; she’s been dreaming about this moment for 25 years or more.” The perfect dress is defined by the venue, budget, figure and any number of variables.
“the best part is being at the Atelier and seeing a bride trying on her dress... when she loves it and looks great.”
A few iconic or perfect dresses have influenced Mark from childhood onward. “Grace Kelly’s gown (designed by Helen Rose) still stands up today as a beautiful couture dress, and Princess Diana (designed by David and Elizabeth Emmanuel) for the grandness of the skirt and train.” He also identifies the Vera Wang gowns worn by Chelsea Clinton and Ivanka Trump at their respective nuptials as “modern classics.” And, for Mark, that search for “perfect dresses” is one of the best parts of the job. Purchasing dresses is something that he does twice a year at market time. “It provides me with an opportunity to interface with my peers and designers; it’s the perfect place to give and receive feedback,” he says. “Truly,” says Mark, “the best part is being at the Atelier and seeing a bride trying on her dress... when she loves it and looks great.” The Bridal Atelier and Mark have received praise from the very start by New York brides as the most chic bridal salon in Manhattan, and its opening was recognized by The New York Times, Woman’s Wear Daily and The New York Observer. Praise and accolades continue to pour in for Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier, including The Couture Bridal Awards Wedding Salon of the Year (2004). Mark has also become a regular on
Metro’s Full Frontal Fashion, critiquing for both Bridal and Fashion weeks. Mark has appeared on local and nationally televised programs (WeTV, Wedding Central, Martha Stewart, etc.) with celebrity wedding planner, Colin Cowie, and other nationally known bridal personalities. He’s even made a cameo appearance as himself in an episode of The CW’s Gossip Girl. Mark loves his vocation, and he recognizes the role that he serves, and what it represents. “There are not many blacks doing what I do,” says Mark, who was among the first African American junior executives in the industry, when he began his career 30 years ago. That, however, will not be his legacy. “People will say that I ran a really beautiful Atelier that turned out thousands of happy, beautiful brides.” Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier 110 E 55th Street New York, NY 10022 (212) 319-6718 Web: www.bridalatelier.com Blog: www.bridalatelier.blogspot.com Twitter: @markingrambride
Jumping the Broom ~ 7
Mac’s On Main JAZZ, BLUES AND BBQ
We are your location for: - Wedding Receptions! - Rehearsal Dinners! - Bridal Showers!
Try Our World Famous Peach Cobbler
1710 Main Street - Columbia, SC 29201 803.929.0037 - www.macsjazznblues.com
8 ~ December 2010
Indian Wedding Traditions and Customs Indian weddings are a perfect blend of traditions, values and celebrations. In India, marriage is not simply regarded as an event, rather it is considered as a soulful affair of the merger of two souls. Wedding marks the beginning of a new relationship not just between two individuals but also between two families and thus, there are various moments in the wedding ceremonies that help to build new relationships. Every caste and community has its own tradition and culture. India with its diverse cultural backgrounds showcases a wide variety of rituals and customs. Most of the religions in India regard marriage as more of a religious ritual than a social or legal affair like that in west, but there is also time for fun during the wedding event.
Rice and other grains - to signify the food necessary for sustenance of life Ghee (purified butter) - to feed the sacred fire Kumkum (vermilion) - red powder used for marking the forehead to signify good luck and to say that your soul (husband) is with you Our featured bride is Jasmine Patel, who married Neil Patel in a Sikh-Hindu ceremony in Birmingham, Alabama, during a three-day celebration over Thanksgiving weekend. The bride's collection of four outfits, called sarees or lehngas, were exquisite with vibrant color, texture and stunning handwork.
Indian weddings are traditionally multi-day affairs, and involve many intricate ceremonies, such as the painting of the hands and feet of the bride called a mehndi. Garlands are presented to guests of honor instead of corsages, and lots of flower or rose petals are thrown for good luck. The parents give the bride away, but they do not eat before the wedding to remain pure for the occasion. The bride’s saree (bridal attire) is tied to the groom’s scarf to symbolize the union of the souls. During a similar ceremony, a cord is tied around the couple’s necks to protect them from evil and they are typically tied by elders of the bride and groom. In Indian weddings, a Mangala Sutra is tied around the bride’s neck instead of exchanging rings. The Mangala Sutra is a cord with two gold pendants and is tied in three knots by the groom to symbolize the bonding of the two souls for 100 years. This necklace lets others know that the bride is married. There are many symbolic presences: Fresh flowers - to signify beauty Coconut - to signify fertility
Jumping the Broom ~ 9
The first night was the mehndi, where Jasmine received henna painting on her hands and feet, and her family members sang, danced and took
called the baraat. The wedding ceremonies were a beautiful collection of rituals incorporating elements such as prayers, food, fire and family. And after a break of several hours, the wellwishers reconvened for the festive reception, which lasted into the early hours of the next morning.
Article Source: www.iloveindia.com
turns putting on her collection of wedding bangle bracelets. The second night was the sangeet, a huge party where both families came together in joyous anticipation of the union. On the morning of the wedding day, the groom made his way to the ceremony site in a parade-like procession
About the Photographers: Daniel Taylor Photography is a boutique photography studio based in Birmingham, Alabama. Daniel, a native of Australia, teams with his wife, Kelli, a magazine photojournalist and writer, to create gorgeous, magazineinspired wedding images in Australia, Europe and the United States. See more of their work at www.DanielTaylorPhoto.com.
Pride Productions Layout Design
Graphic Arts
wwwwwwwwwwwwww
Web Development
803.920.6230 www.PrideProductionSC.com
10 ~ December 2010
Jumping the Broom
A&B Photo Service - Photos by Anita
Accent Your Weddings
Candelabras and Alter Rentals For your convenience we deliver, set- up, and pick up.
A Word from Royalty Travel and Event Planning:
Destination Weddings are fast becoming the hot new trend. Just think, you have your wedding planned as well as your honeymoon in a beautiful tropical and romantic setting. My advice is to choose your location as soon as possible, giving your wedding party enough time to get their passports, make payments and secure time off from work. These events are usually a weeklong affair. Most islands require that the bride and groom are in residence at least one to two days prior to the wedding date. Documents you will need: -Valid Passport -Original Birth Certificate -Proof of Residency of the Respective Country -Marriage License Further details of your destination wedding should be discussed with your travel agent and wedding planner. This is a brief overview of information and may not be inclusive of all documents needed. For more information contact: Teresa Tidwell-Smith, Owner Royalty Travel and Event Planning 803-603-5216 Teresa Tidwell-Smith has been in the travel industry for over 21 years as a flight attendant. She has traveled extensively throughout the Caribbean, Europe and the United States. She is now venturing into the other side of the travel industry customizing personal and group travel by land, air or sea. Background image is of the swimming pool at Riad Noga, Marrakech Provided by http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
Call Sankofa Connections at 803-436-0052 to have your ceremony presented with Style!
Kia’s House of Unity 6108 Two Notch Road
Columbia, SC
Weddings
Call us. 803.776.7999
Jumping the Broom is just one of many ceremonies performed at African American Weddings. Should you decide to incorporate this wonderful tradition in your wedding remember to do it with the honor and dignity it represents.
Intimate Weddings at Affordable Prices Chapel with on-site Notary Public, Receptions, etc. Schedule an appointment today... 803.446.0436
Jumping the Broom ~ 11
5 Reasons a Wedding Coordinator May Save You Money If you think that a wedding planner is a luxury reserved for the wealthy, you may be surprised. Hiring a pro to assist with your plans can actually be a wise economic decision. Need convincing? Here are the top reasons a wedding planner can help you save some serious headaches – and cash.
Time is Money Oh so cliché – but oh so true. As a bride to be, you don’t need to be told twice your time is valuable, so why waste it when it counts the most? Planning a wedding is essentially a full time job, and if you’re already a busy professional, guess what? Your work week doubled the moment you said “yes.” Your career, your wedding or your sanity may suffer if you don’t get some help.
save countless hours of research and can potentially avert costly mistakes (you can rest assured knowing Johnny Photographer isn’t going to skip town with your photography deposit). Prime Negotiator Your wedding planner will review all vendor contracts before you sign on the dotted line, catching any hidden fees and ensuring your needs are covered. As repeat clients, planners may even score you some vendor discounts. Go Part Time Still think your wedding budget’s too maxed out for hired help? While many wedding planners orchestrate entire affairs (which can be pricey), most can be hired on an hourly basis for services tailored to your needs. So if you find yourself stumped on invitations – a pro can come to the rescue. Another option is a week-of or day-of planner, a great alternative for the bride who plans everything herself but would like to have a professional on hand to attend to last minute details.
Article Source: www.BlackWeddings.com
Set Your Budget…And Stick To It! Once you set your wedding budget, your planner will help you stick to it. Be open about any budgetary constraints during planning sessions. Once you’re on the same page, your planner can help you determine what’s most important to you and make spending choices accordingly. A Friend Indeed A good wedding planner will get the most for your money by choosing the best vendors. As industry insiders, wedding consultants have built a network of reliable professionals and can make recommendations based on your style and budget. These vendor recs.
12 ~ December 2010
About the Author Cori Locklin is editor-in-chief of Elegala. com and Elegala Magazine. Elegala is a new wedding planning resource offering the most comprehensive portfolio of superior wedding reception sites and wedding services along with planning tips, photo galleries and checklists to keep brides in-the-know on today’s wedding trends and styles.
Jumping the Broom ~ 13
Eight Unique Ideas for Bridesmaid Gifts
Gifts for your bridesmaids – always a stickler. They have done so much for you, not only as a part of your wedding party but also as a friend and confidant over the years. How to even begin to say thanks? Start by presenting your wedding attendants with heartfelt gifts to express your gratitude. This bridesmaids gift guide will steer you through the gift-giving process with gift ideas, budget considerations and etiquette.
a good amount. Consider also giving a little extra something to your maid/matron of honor, especially if she hosted a shower or engagement party for you.
M What to Spend N
together. Consider presenting them along with a toast, thanking each bridesmaid for their support and friendship over the years.
M When to Give N
A&B Photo Service - Photos by Anita
You can present the gifts during any private moment with your ‘maids. Many brides give them during the bridesmaids’ luncheon or tea. You can also hand them out at the rehearsal dinner, when your closest friends and family are gathered
Consider both your budget and the amount that each attendant must spend to be in your wedding. In the end, it’s always the thought that counts, but giving movie passes may seem a tad ungrateful if your maids had to shell out $500 each for those couture dresses you insisted upon. Get something that lets your attendants know how much you appreciate them. Generally, spending $50-$150 is
14 ~ December 2010
M Bridesmaid Gift Ideas N Stumped on what to give? Here are some hot attendant gift ideas. You can also search hundreds of bridesmaid gift ideas in this interactive favors and gifts photo gallery.
Monogrammed Robe/Pajamas – a great idea especially if you and your girls are planning a slumber party right before the wedding. t
Spa Certificates – or pop for a trip to the spa, and treat everyone to a massage or other treatment. Your maids will appreciate the special pampering. t
Personalized Picture Frames – including an individual photo of you with each bridesmaid. t
Jewelry – it can be something to wear at the wedding – but also try to choose something they will wear again. You want a gift they will enjoy that will often remind them of you! t
A Container Filled with Goodies – can’t decide on one thing? Give it all! Find a creative container and fill it with goodies and mementos. A monogrammed canvas bag or a pretty decorated box will work nicely. If your budget allows, splurge on a nice designer handbag! Be as creative as you want. t
Fur (or fake fur) Wraps – a great idea, especially for a winter wedding. t
Makeup – have their makeup done for the wedding, and then purchase a few items for them to keep. They will feel fabulous for the big day and will also have something to take with them that they picked out. t
Mixed CDs – full of tunes that hold special meaning, a great extra that can add a personalized touch to another gift. t
Article Source: www.BlackWeddings.com
About The Author Cori Russell is editor-in-chief of Elegala.com and Elegala Magazine. Elegala is a complete weddings and planning resource with a national directory of wedding venues and services, howto guides, expert advice, checklists and photo galleries to lead brides through every step of the planning process
Did you know...
that Jumping the Broom is on the web?
YES it is, visit us at http://www.JumpingTheBroomSC.com So you can experience all of the joys in print & on the web. brought to you by Pride Productions www.PrideProductionSC.com
Ladies, dress like the queen you are and wear your crown! Hats are our passion, why not make them yours? We have a full selection of summer and winter designer hats that fit every budget!
Our Hats Are Perfect For Any Special Occasion: Marilyn S. Spells Owner
• • • • • •
Church Holidays Birthdays Sororities Weddings First Ladies
• • • • •
Horse Races Women’s Day Red Hat Society Deaconess Boards Missionary Boards
Marbella’s
9400 Two Notch Road, Suite F | Columbia, SC 29223 | (803) 361-6008 | marbellashats@yahoo.com Open by Appointment on Mondays; 10am-5pm Tuesdays-Fridays; 10am-4pm Saturdays; Closed Sundays
Jumping the Broom ~ 15
Life is‌.spending time with family and friends. Watching a ball game. Lying in a hammock on a Saturday afternoon. Life can be all of these things and more. Life is happy and sad and all things in between. It’s about living. But life is also about protecting your family from the unexpected. Life is making sure your family can continue without financial hardship if you are no longer around to help them. One way to do that is to have adequate life insurance coverage on you and your spouse. Life is‌.being protected with life insurance. Whether you are the main breadwinner or not, the American Life Insurance Council states you should have five to seven years worth of your salary in coverage. Others increase it to 10 years. According to LIMRA, 68 million adult Americans have no life insurance. With so many Americans leaving their loved ones financially vulnerable, the Life and Health Insurance Foundation for Education (LIFE) designated September as Life Insurance
16 ~ December 2010
Awareness Month (LIAM), a time for the public to take stock of their life insurance needs. The best way to determine your needs is to begin with calculating what long-term expenses you have that your loved ones would be responsible for if you were not around. Those expenses could include a mortgage, college tuition and everyday items such as food and clothing. The type of policy you choose is an important decision. Term coverage can be very affordable initially, but premiums may increase over the life of the policy. Permanent policies usually have higher premiums but tend to stay level. How long you need the policy is also important to consider. A qualified life insurance professional can assist you in your calculations and show you policies that may fit your needs. Life is ever changing. Protecting your family from financial struggles after you are gone is what life insurance is all about.
JumpingthetheBroom Broom~ 17 Jumping
A & B Photo Service 803.238.4749 Photos by Anita
18 ~ December 2010
Jumping the Broom Announcement Hollis-Deas
Cheryl Hope Deas and Quinton Charles Hollis were married Saturday, June 19, 2010, at five o’clock in the afternoon
•••••••••
white initials floated down the train of the Galina Signature taffeta trumpet high collar dress. She wore her grandmother’s pearl in seashell earrings. Maid of honor was Maudra Rogers, bride’s childhood friend and college roommate of Columbia. Bridesmaids were special friends Shamika Nelson and Vidonne Colston of Charleston. The groom’s brother, Brandon Hollis attended as best man, groomsmen were Devin Johnson, brother of the bride, Jarett Brown, teammate and Robert Swain, high school and college team mate.
•••••••••
followed by a reception at Ariel’s Special Events, Columbia, South Carolina. The ceremony was performed by Pastor Wanda Hooper, aunt of the bride. The bride is the daughter of the late Clifford Eichelberger Jr., Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Johnson of Columbia and Goddaughter of Sergeant First Class Bonita Miller of Fort Polk, LA. She is the granddaughter of Shirley DuPre of Columbia, Mr. and Mrs. Hampton Johnson of Columbia, Mr. and Mrs. Clifford Eichelberger Sr. of Columbia, and The Reverend and Mrs. Lewis Myers of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Hostesses/assistants were Jamiya Brooks and Sonia Horn of Georgia, Wanda Wiley of Columbia, Edgar and Andrea Prewitt of Connecticut, and Sharon Johnson of Columbia. Venue was decorated by Christie Evans of Columbia. Photographers were mother of the bride and Lionel Miller of Maryland, cousin of the bride. The bride and groom are graduates of the College of Charleston. After the honeymoon to Charleston, South Carolina where the couple’s first date, they will relocate from Georgia and reside in Charleston, South Carolina.
•••••••••
The groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Aza Hollis of Stone Mountain, GA. He is the grandson of Alice Nelson and the late Charles Nelson and the late Mr. and Mrs. Rayford Hollis Sr. The bride escorted by her father walked on petals thrown by the groomsmen. A silk tiffany blue bow with the bride and groom embroidery
•••••••••
If you would like a wedding announcement in Jumping the Broom, please contact us for more details at jumpingthebroomsc@gmail.com . We reserve the right to edit the submitted content.
Jumping the Broom ~ 19
Until In-Laws Do Us Part Advice for the Bride-To-Be
Wedding planning tends to bring out the worst in people. That’s a widely known fact… ask any married person. It’s partly because there are approximately 9,463 decisions to be made while planning a typical medium-sized wedding. Take the cake, for example. Which baker will you use? Which flavor should the cake be? How many layers should it have? How should it be shaped? What should the little statues look like on top? If it were left up to you and your groom to make those decisions, things would probably go pretty smoothly. But typically there are several other
people involved in the wedding planning. Out of the 9,463 decisions to be made, chances are that you, your groom, your mom, your dad, your groom’s mother, and his father will agree on no more than two of those decisions. You will be amazed at how easily you will offend everyone in your life, particularly your husband’s parents. They may disagree with when and where you should have the wedding. They may have strong opinions about who should and should not be invited. Your father-in-law may be upset if you don’t word the invitations exactly the way he thinks they should be worded. Your mother-in-law may feel that you haven’t included her enough in the wedding planning. Your in-laws may disagree with you about whether there should be drinking or dancing at the reception. If you and your fiancé are paying for the wedding/reception, then you have the right to make all of the decisions. If your parents and/or in-laws are the ones footing the bill, then it will be trickier for you. You’ll need to find a balance between being a bridezilla versus a gutless parent pleaser.
You are on an equal level to both sets of parents. Address your future in-laws by their first names instead of Your in-laws can handle disagreements in a respectful, tactful manner or they can make your life a living hell. They may try to reach fair compromises OR bully you until you cave on every decision. They may keep their opinions to themselves and realize that this is your wedding instead of theirs OR heap so much guilt on you that you wish you had eloped. They may support you as a couple OR try to divide you by crying to their son about how much you are hurting their feelings. If your in-laws behave in an unhealthy,
20 ~ December 2010
*Learn how to speak assertively. The next time your in-laws try to pressure you into putting their needs above yours, say, “Thanks for your input, but we’ve decided to do this instead.” You and your groom have a great opportunity to set the stage now for how you are (and are not) willing to be treated after you are married. Conduct yourselves with confidence and dignity while your in-laws go through the process of realizing that their son’s loyalty now belongs with you.
A&B Photo Service - Photos by Anita
Article Source: www.BlackWeddings.com
About The Author Jenna D. Barry is the author of “A Wife’s Guide to In-laws: How to Gain Your Husband’s Loyalty Without Killing His Parents.” Married 15 years, Jenna has learned how to gain her husband’s loyalty through communication, persistence, and a whole lot of love. For more information, please visit her website at Wife Guide.
*Unite as a couple. It’s time to transfer your loyalty from your parents to your spouse. Groom, that means putting your bride’s needs first even if it upsets Mom and Dad. Absolutely, positively refuse to listen to your parents gossip about your sweetheart. *Think and behave as adults. You are on an equal level to both sets of parents. Address your future in-laws by their first names instead of “Mom” and “Dad” or “Mr.” and “Mrs.” Their opinions and needs do not outrank yours.
A&B Photo Service - Photos by Anita
immature, disrespectful way then you may feel helpless, hopeless and frustrated. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You can’t please all of the people all of the time.” The good news is that you don’t have to. Here are ways that you and your groom can behave so your sanity remains intact.
Jumping the Broom ~ 21
22 ~ December 2010
First Annual the
Broom
Bridal Show
graciously thanks our sponsors!
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” - William Arthur Ward
Thanks... Merci... Grazie... Arigatô... Wado... Gratias ago... Gracias...
www.BlackWeddings.com and especially the
Brookland Banquet and Conference Center
I do. I do. Your new life together starts now. Protect each other from this day forward. Get the life insurance that’s right for you. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.® CONTACT AN AGENT TODAY.
Rudy Cunningham 10120 Two Notch Road Suite 3 Columbia, SC 29223 Bus: 803-788-0334 rudy.cunningham.bwtx@statefarm.com
Larry Di Biase 2043 West Dekalb St Camden, SC 29020 Bus: 803-432-4545 www.larrydibiase.com
Morgan E. Faulkenberry 331 Killian Road Columbia, SC 29203 Bus: 803-735-0505 www.morganfaulkenberry.com
Marion Hanna 1700 Decker Blvd Columbia, SC 29206 Bus: 803-782-1104 www.marionhanna.com
Sandy Khan 152 Blythewood Road Blythewood, SC 29016 Bus: 803-735-7979 www.sandykhaninsurance.com
Chuck Nash 1120 Little Street Camden, SC 29021 Bus: 803-432-9001 www.chucknash.net
Gary Patterson 830 Hwy #1 South Lugoff, SC 29078 Bus: 803-438-5000 www.garypatterson.net
Craig Plank 7401 Parklane Rd Columbia, SC 29223 Bus: 803-788-8341 www.craigplank.com
James Tanner 1821 Clemson Rd Columbia, SC 29229 Bus: 803-865-7800 www.jamestanner.net
Trey Webb 111 Sparkleberry Crossing Columbia, SC 29229 Bus: 803-788-9188 www.treywebbinsurance.com
Marilyn Wilson CLU 10201 Two Notch Road Columbia, SC 29229 Bus: 803-788-2884 marilyn.wilson.bwrl@statefarm.com
statefarm.com® 0901034
State Farm Life Insurance Company (Not licensed in MA, NY or WI) State Farm Life and Accident Assurance Company (Licensed in NY and WI) • Bloomington, IL