A Vo i c e f o r Fa i t h | V i s i o n
Family, the Cradle of Character
50 Essays on Family Faith by
Robert and Myrlin Shaw 1
A Vo i c e f o r Fa i t h | V i s i o n
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Family, the Cradle of Character
50 Essays on Family Faith by
Robert and Myrlin Shaw
Shaw, Robert C. Family, the Cradle of Character 50 Essays on Family Faith Edited by Myrlin Shaw All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means without prior, written permission of the copyright holder. The information and images contained in this publication are for informational purposes only. Book design by Jan Pietkiewicz Cover photo: FreeImages.com/Fran Flores Š Copyright 2015 by Robert C Shaw The Markham Institute 20 Athlone Road, Toronto, ON M4J 4H2 www.themarkhaminstitute.org Printed in Canada by Willow Printing & Publishing Co., Brighton, ON
Dedicated with love and gratitude to: Emerson McDowel, Nancy Ethier, Bob Griffin, Toni Jones, Bram and Ruth Meakings, Corinne Marion, Gerard McTernan, John and Glenna Morgan, Phil and Keitha Needham, Aileen Shaw, Jack Stewart
A Vo i c e f o r Fa i t h | V i s i o n
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A Vo i c e f o r Fa i t h | V i s i o n
Introduction
T
he character of a child shapes his life, that of his family, his community and collectively, our nation. A child’s character is formed mainly by the faith of his family of parents, grandparents and larger family. This places enormous responsibility on parents. It should probably be their first priority. Growth in faith is a lifelong process. This book is a collection of faith experiences of Myrlin and myself. They are selected as vital in the long term process of growth. This book is not a commentary on the Bible or on any aspect of classical Christianity. In our marriage, we are blessed with incredible gifts we experience in our common belief based in classical Christianity. Here, we share the enormous benefits of the faith despite its demands. Here, we share great concerns about the faith of our children and grandchildren. We, together, find the Christian faith to be one of love, forgiveness, transformation, peace, unconditional relationships, joy and demanding disciplines.
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contents
Relationships – O ur Relationships
Shape our Lives ..............................11 Community – F aith-Based Community Service
Helps Families ........................................13 Troubles – The Troubles of the Believer .......................15 Repentance – F rom Repentance Comes the Joy
of the Fellowship and Service ...............17 Gratitude – Gratitude is the Mark of a Believer ........19 Faith – Too Much Religion; Not Enough Faith ..............21 Faith – Heart to God, Hand to Others ...........................23 Teens – Without Faith, Teens are at Risk ........................25 Meaning – What is the Meaning of Life? ......................27 Christian Claims – C hristians claim significant
faith uniqueness .......................29 Learning – Th e people of God
are always Learning ...................................31 Homework – The Christian’s Homework ....................33 Belief – Does Christianity make Sense? ..........................35 6
contents
The Problem – A Christian Faces a Big Problem ......37 Two Worlds – The Two Real Worlds of Charley ........39 Vision – Faith Leads to Vision ........................................41 Service – A Christian’s Job is 24/7 .................................43 Service – The Christian Commitment to Service ..........45 Team – H ow faith guided
extraordinary ministries .....................................47 A Man of Faith – A highly talented man showed
how to do faith-based business .......49 Big Bonus – The Great Big Christian Bonus ...............51 Decisions – H ow are Faith-Based
Decisions Made? .......................................53 Diversity – A good intent turned bad? ........................55 Enemies – How do Christians love their Enemies? ........57 Forgive – Forgiveness Leads to Fullness of Life .............59 Forgiveness – The Power of Forgiveness .....................61 Full Faith – The ABCs of Christianity ........................63
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contents
Godless – We are surrounded by
a Godless Generation ....................................65 Growth – Christianity – A Religion of Growth ...........69 Guilt – Jesus’ Cure for Guilt ............................................71 Helping – Helping Efforts that Help .............................73 Kids – How Kids Become Believers ..................................75 Kingdom – Billy, age 10, has questions for Dad
about the sermon on the Kingdom ............77 Lost Faith – Where has God Gone? .............................79 Marriage – Why Christian Marriage is so Special .......81 Mission – We are all uniquely equipped
for a special job ..............................................83 Peace – Christianity is the Universal Peacemaker ..........85 Prayer – Prayer is the Most Important
Experience for Believers ...................................87 Reality – Is Christianity Real? .......................................89 Royalty – Th e power of faith can come
from anywhere ...............................................91 8
contents
Suffering – Suffering, an Essential
in Christianity ..........................................93 Super Love – Love can be unconditional .....................95 Teamwork – The Family as a Team ............................97 The Church – Time for Family and
Church to Get Together .......................99 The Colonels – Th e Enormous
Impact of Faith ..............................101 The Joy of Faith – N obody can explain the joy of
faith - it is another world .........103 The Pioneer – A Dream Came True by Faith ..........105 The Quiet Man – H ow an Unnoticed
Man Serves So Well .....................107 The Stranger – A Stranger in Our Town ...............109 Whole Family – H ow Faith Makes
a Family Whole ..............................111 About the author ................................................113 Book Reviews ............................................................114
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A Vo i c e f o r Fa i t h | V i s i o n
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A Voice for Faith | R e l at i o n s h i p s
Our Relationships Shape our Lives
P
icture the Stone family: Dad comes home frazzled by work and travel. Mom is trying to get dinner ready after having a set-to with her boss. The son had a bad soccer practice. The daughter wonders why everybody is up-tight. What will get them through all this? It may be that they are bound together by the best of relationships unconditional love. This type of relationship is ideal because it is solid no matter what. It brings people together and problems get resolved. It is faith-based. Or, it may be that the Stone family has a mishmash of relationships –leaving them with all the problems still hot when they go to bed and restless sleep. It is up to the Stone family to decide what is most important – work or relationships. That choice will 11
A Voice for Faith | R e l at i o n s h i p s
decide how time is spent. If they chose the way of faith, they could even get to know how great an unconditional relationship is.
Our relationships are the biggest challenge and
opportunity of
life.
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A Voice for Faith | C o m m u n i t y
Faith-Based Community
Service Helps Families
he Stone family has been making trips to the T doctor, counselors and teachers. Their son is not
doing well at school – grades are down and complaints are up. They are using a lot of time in delays and interviews. After four visits, the family still can’t understand the son’s problem. They know they are suffering from lack of coordination of services. Needed, but not available, is a faith-based service that acts as an advocate for the family. With that, the family learns how to get cooperation from the service organizations. Unfortunately much of health, education, recreation, churches and even libraries are controlled by bureaucracies – too many rules to be effective. There is one big opportunity for faith-based efforts. 13
A Voice for Faith | C o m m u n i t y
There is no service need greater than this. To get this ball rolling, the family needs to go to an agency and say “ Where do we find an advocacy service for our family?� Five agencies later, an agency willing to try will help.
Faith-based organizations
are challenged by the most vital community need
– family service
cooperation.
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A Voice for Faith | Tro u b l e s
The Troubles of the Believer what! The believer has the same troubles G asuess all of us: sickness, debt, addictions, marital problems, teens out of control and so on. If that is true, what is the point of a life of faith?
The huge point is that the believer is given the Lord and a way to deal with whatever comes. Life is tough. Trying to do it alone is much tougher. On the other hand, if you have friends and the Lord Himself working with you, life suddenly doesn’t seem so bad. Most Christians know they can start anew every day of their lives no matter what happened before. They can start each day with a clean slate. Let’s turn to an example - Harry. He and his wife Violet are Christians. They go to church and their three
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A Voice for Faith | Tro u b l e s
kids go to Sunday school. Harry works for a lumber company. He is in sales and travels a lot. As expected, Harry has a couple of beers when away. That then leads to hard stuff. Then it gets to the point of addiction. He is hooked. That means things change at home. He is sharp with the kids. The credit cards are full. He hangs out with the guys after work which means he can be as late as 11 pm. Eventually, Violet has had enough. She goes to an addiction counselor and to her pastor. One day Violet says: “OK, join A.A. or don’t come back.” She has done the right thing for her addicted husband. Besides, A.A. is one of the best preparations for a life of faith.
Faith is where the Lord and others help deal with a trouble. 16
A Voice for Faith | R e pe n ta n c e
From Repentance Comes the Joy of the Fellowship and Service
r. Stone is discussing faith with his M pastor who describes repentance as housecleaning.
He is relieved to learn that doesn’t mean reciting all his past deeds. It does, however, mean that the former bad choices are not to be repeated. With that commitment, Mr. Stone can start with a clean slate every day, no matter what happened before. The ugly past looms large. The job is to put it behind. It is one thing to put out the garbage for collection. It is quite another thing to put out the same garbage twice in the same day. That blunder is too common. The old stuff has a fascination. For some reason we can waddle in the same dirty pond we just stepped out of. This is dumb on
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A Voice for Faith | R e pe n ta n c e
our part and it is blasphemy to the Lord who has gone to great trouble to set us free. The obvious treatment is to focus on the new life we have chosen. Do we have our hopes and intentions ready? For instance, is Mr. Stone ready for big changes in his relationships? Does he have any idea where the 100% service requirement will lead him? The point here is that our life focus shifts from the old to the new life with the Lord at hand. This is scary for everyone. Probably it’s a good idea to share this experience with a close friend and believer.
Faith turns us away from all that is harmful to ourselves and others.
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A Voice for Faith | G r at i t u d e
Gratitude is the Mark of a Believer Here is why a Christian should be grateful: • Forgiveness • Life itself • Family and children • Dear Friends • Work • Beauty of nature • Special abilities • Music and Art • Vigor to achieve • Services to others
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A Voice for Faith | G r at i t u d e
• Prayer • The fellowship of believers
Gratitude brings focus on God and little for
time
distractions
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A Voice for Faith | Fa i t h
Too Much Religion; Not Enough Faith
R e l igion is: Organized efforts to promote faith Faith is: A personal decision to let God take over one’s life Mr. Stone is confused. If he goes to church does he have faith or is he religious, or what? It all depends! The ball is in Mr. Stone’s court. If he feels content to show up at church, then that is his answer. If Mr. Stone suspects that faith is more than skin deep, he has a big job ahead. First he has to decide if he believes God is real and here helping. That will set Mr. Stone back on his heels. If, in his secret heart, he knows he is part of God’s workings, then he has faith. If there is doubt, it then depends on how serious these matters are to him. If serious, then he needs to explore to find out if there is something deeper than skin. To do
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A Voice for Faith | Fa i t h
that, he has several options. He can ask what are the right books he should be reading. He could pick some person from church who acts like a believer should. He could than ask that person to explain faith and its experience. Here Mr. Stone faces another hurdle. If faith is an inner experience with God, he won’t find his answer from books, or talk. He must experience a clue about this deeper life. How does he do that? He takes some idea he has heard and puts it to test. The clue that catches his attention is friendliness. Some church people are sincerely friendly. They are glad to see you and they look you in the eye when they say it. Mr. Stone likes that idea. So, he will test the idea for three weeks and see what happens. After three weeks, some folks say he is looking happy these days. That can be a big clue. If he thinks so, his next step is to want to know more. That, he will end up doing for the rest of his life.
The difference between
faith is the inner experience that
religion and faith
is that,
can’t be kept secret. 22
A Voice for Faith | Fa i t h
Heart to God, Hand to Others
esus of Nazareth is the world’s most J powerful and influential person. Now, for over 2,000 years, His life and teachings bring new life of faith, hope and love of God to billions. Here are His main messages: God, the all-powerful creator, is our closest and best friend Christians together, experience unconditional love and everlasting life The life of the Christian is guilt-free The focus of a Christian’s life is service to others The power of the Christian God is found in fellowship groups
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A Voice for Faith | Fa i t h
Christians work to create a fulfilling community of churches, schools and agencies Suffering is part of the Christian life The Christian life is a moment-by-moment, day-byday experience with God Jesus and his followers have a new life of love, peace, joy, freedom, forgiveness and wholeness.
Christian Motto:
Heart to God, Hand to Others.
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A Voice for Faith | T e e n s
Without Faith, Teens are at Risk
W
e are at a time when Christianity is under nation-wide attack. Our institutions, schools, businesses, governments, justice and the media all are acting as if Christianity were some sort of virus. It is strange that this clamour has come so suddenly and so wide spread. It is also strange that other religions are not suffering comparable attacks. Christianity has been the foundation of our society – its laws and morality – for thousands of years. Christianity is the world’s largest religion. Millions continue to rely on this faith for their way of life. The current onslaught is obviously political. One wonders who will benefit, certainly not the family. It is a welcome relief that the Maclean’s Magazine has recently published an article citing the extensive research 25
A Voice for Faith | T e e n s
on the impact of faith in the lives of teens. Numerous authentic studies show that teens with faith are at significantly less risk of depression, unhealthy sex and lifestyles. The research goes on to report that the healthy faith cited is personal experience and not necessarily institutional in origins. Caution is expressed for teens who take on their parent’s beliefs, without questioning.
Faith is a significant safe-guard in the
lives of teens.
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A Voice for Faith | M e a n i n g
What is the Meaning of Life? his is about the silliest question there is. The T only sillier one is,“Daddy, will you please give me
money to go to Europe to find myself ”. All this is silliness because the answer is to be found under one’s nose. The question is personal, requiring a personal answer. Only individuals can answer the question of meaning for themselves. The question is a search which everybody has whether he knows it or not. There are some foolish people who say that they don’t need an answer to that question. If they don’t know it, their lives show it. Here is a sample list of answers: • The golden rule • Go get it while you can
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A Voice for Faith | M e a n i n g
• Might is right • Love God and Others • Do what feels right • Life is tough and then you die • It is nobody’s business • Love • Family • Success Each one must search for his right answer. Once we’ve got our answer, we can help others in their own search. We can also warn others not to be silly. On this there are no experts.
Good life is
big right answer and then living
finding one’s
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it.
A Voice for Faith | C h r i s t i a n C l a i m s
Christians claim significant faith uniqueness: • The central place of Jesus • Forgiveness is the foundation of the faith • Faith enables withstanding suffering • God and others come before self • The Lord is always present to help • God enables good decisions in small groups • Life is lived one day at-a-time • All guilt is washed away forever • Unconditional love is a reality • Unmatched faith for millions over centuries • Peace is the purpose of faith and service
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A Voice for Faith | C h r i s t i a n C l a i m s
• Faith means full-time service
All these flow from the simple package of
“Love God and neighbor”.
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A Voice for Faith | L e a r n i n g
The people of God are always Learning
illie is a Christian Mom, worried that Mshe is under the control of her anxiety. She daily
has 100 things to do - so is always behind. She knows that her levels of anxiety are putting her whole family on edge. She has had advice from church friends and the pastor. That didn’t do it, so she turned to a professional counselor. The first question she was asked was,“ What is your top worry?” It took her a while to struggle with that big one. Finally she said, “Billy is doing poorly at school – causing disruption”. The counselor then told her that recent research had shed light on this kind of problem. She explained that the study asked each troubled family to set one important goal. The research showed that when families began something positive, the children settled down in school.
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A Voice for Faith | L e a r n i n g
At the same time, the family felt better because they were back with hope that things would get better. Millie said, “If it worked, let’s try it”. The counselor then explained that they needed to write a goal that defined the results that the family wanted. The goal they chose was, “Within three weeks, the teacher will tell us that Billy has become much more settled.” To get that, they agreed that school visits should happen so that Millie and teacher would be working on the same thing in this case homework. In this case Millie and her family bought this idea, they found that it worked just as the research said. They learned the power and benefit of setting a goal.
Christianity
is a continuous
process of learning – goals help. 32
A Voice for Faith | H o m e wo r k
The Christian’s Homework
W
e are excited to receive acceptance into the college of our choice. That means we are on our way to becoming a professional in some field. The acceptance obviously does not mean we are fully qualified. It does mean that we have taken an essential step. That step is now to be followed by years of homework. The life of faith is just like that. The first step is a big one. That step will be made only after extensive thought and inquiry. But that step is just the start of a new phase of life. Then come the years of homework to be able to carry out the full role of a believer. What follows is the daily homework schedule of one particular Christian: After breakfast comes family devotions: •U sually starts with reading from the Bible or other literature •N ext is sharing and deciding any important matter • Then there is prayer on the theme and attention to others
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A Voice for Faith | H o m e wo r k
Next is individual time: • The start is prayer and meditation. (see Family Wellness Rainbow at www.FaithFinder.ca) • Then comes a written goal to be the key for the day • Followed by prayer for loved ones and others Before bedtime the couple meets again for devotions: • There is reading from scripture • Then comes prayer on the faith theme and others • Any question is raised and discussed At bedtime: • There is individual prayer, thankfulness and commitment This schedule has taken at least 15 years to evolve. It was tough to develop the habit. It came from personal needs – not from some prepared material. It is deeply personal. Even some other family members are not aware of the practice. There are many major benefits. There is the reminder of the first decision – God. There are always problems of family or others to deal with. For each day there is a sense of direction and purpose. Relationships are deepened and rewarding.
benefit of Christian homework is awareness of God’s presence.
The overriding
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A Voice for Faith | B e l i e f
Does Christianity make Sense? Here are some views held by unbelievers: • How could God let huge natural tragedies happen? • Where is the scientific proof for God? • Religions don’t have things visible • Church people are just like us The believer’s views are different: • Just because something it is not visible doesn’t mean it’s not real • Most of science and most emotions are invisible • Faith continues because millions believe
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A Voice for Faith | B e l i e f
• Faith is the foundation of every life and every nation. • Saint Thomas Aquinas said all Christianity is logical.
Faith is a personal choice about life In the end,
like: good
is stronger than bad, love is better than hate, beauty is better than ugly.
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A Voice for Faith | T h e Pro b l e m
A Christian Faces a Big Problem
eorge, 58 has just lost his job as electrical G engineer. He supports his family of wife and three
children, one of whom is in college. After three months sending out resumes and interviews, he has no prospects.
This Christian family meets to learn of the tight finances. George’s wife says she will find a job, as does one son. They all agree to pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Next, George goes to a career counselor who asks the question “ If you were starting again what kind of work would you most want?” This got George thinking. After some time with his wife, George replies to the counselor “I would most want to have my own flower shop.” George decides, after prayer with his wife and sharing with the family, he will go to try a get a flower shop job. That will mean, even if successful, reductions in family 37
A Voice for Faith | T h e Pro b l e m
spending. Reluctantly the family agrees. Having put this request to God, George proceeds with inquiries for training, work and income. A month later, George hasn’t found much encouragement. Despite this, George and his wife believe God will somehow find him a new avenue, as He has done in the past.
The
Christian family
relies totally
on God’s presence and help with any problem.
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A Voice for Faith | T wo Wo r l d s
The Two Real Worlds of Charley
C
harley knows he lives in two worlds – natural and supernatural. He and all his friends are too familiar with Charley and his natural world. Of many words, the best one is anxiety. He is conscientious – which leads him to worry about his family, his marriage, the kids in school, his job and career and family finances. Charley is too anxious to enjoy life – instead his mind is trying to do three things at once. This makes him jumpy, irritable, high speed and sleepless. Charley worries about himself – will he become ill? Or make some bad mistake? So he goes to get help - doctors, the gym, hospital tests, and countless pills. For Charley, life is a war. Fortunately for Charley, he has friends who claim that they live in a wonderful world of peace, joy, forgiveness 39
A Voice for Faith | T wo Wo r l d s
and community service. They are telling him to get into the supernatural world. They believe in God. So Charley faces a really big problem. Does he believe or not? One day, Charley wakes up from his sleep and tells himself, “All right, I believe in God”. His friends are joyful. Then they tell him he has another choice: Who will run his life, God or himself? This is a bit easier for him because he hates the rat race he is in. So he takes the next step. Friends cheer and hold a party. Next morning he wakes up relaxed – a miracle! Then he takes time to ask his wife how she is and gives her a hug. His wife is almost amazed at Charley. He now has his first good taste of his other world!
In the natural world, are by
we controlled our emotions.
In the supernatural
world
God leads
and
we follow. 40
A Vo i c e f o r Fa i t h | V i s i o n
Faith Leads to Vision
O
n becoming a Christian, Jerry is led to develop his own personal vision. He clearly understands from Jesus’ closing message to his followers that the New Commandment is, ”Love one another “. Jerry finds himself with others who are smiling at him. He has just gone through some religious ceremony where he said, “Yes”, to questions about his beliefs. Jerry looks around at the folks most of whom he knows. In one of the questions, he agreed to love others. He says to himself, “I don’t care for some of these folks any more now, after the ceremony, than I did before.” The fact is that he still hates that one guy who is a slob. What does he do? In our society, “love“ means affection. Not necessarily so in Christian scripture. There, “love” means serving others in helpful ways. There is no suggestion that this is a part-time thing. Our friend, the new Christian, needs a new personal vision which fulfills his new promises.
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A Vo i c e f o r Fa i t h | V i s i o n
Jerry badly needs a new way of looking at people – he needs his own new vision. There are many ways to find, or not find, a personal vision. His search could go something like this: • What new way could he now think about the folks around him? • He knows he must start looking for the best in others • Enemies? He can’t even like them but he could be kind • He could decide to spend his life being helpful • Maybe that is Jerry’s new vision
Faith calls for
a full-time
personal vision
of caring
to others.
service
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A Voice for Faith | S e rv i c e
A Christian’s Job is 24/7
W
hen a person makes the big choice from self to God, he signs on fulltime. That is true because then he believes that the Lord is always present. It is true because being Christian is no ordinary job. It is true because his character will be transformed. This does not mean that one has to become a missionary or a minister. It means that whatever the job, it is done in God’s spirit of love - housewife, mechanic, soldier or sailor. One sweeps the floor because it will help and please others – it’s no longer just another dumb chore. Take this case of a man who had a calling to serve troubled children. This became his calling for decades. For health reasons that calling ended. Suddenly he was without giving any service. This became panic time. He felt he wasn’t needed. Did that mean the end of his usefulness and maybe death? After several months of worry and prayer along came 43
A Voice for Faith | S e rv i c e
his new service. He had the years of experience with troubled children and their families. He could still serve them if he wrote about them. Now a new calling is writing books and articles to help troubled children. For another example, let’s take the case of a new military recruit. When she is inducted into the navy, she takes on a new code of ethics. Her uniform is a symbol to herself and everybody else that she is now different because she has answered the call to serve. Service defines the purpose of life for those wanting to be helpful. To a non-Christian, and perhaps even to a new Christian, this full-time service might seem impossible. With time, however, it becomes part of a Christian’s character.
For the
Christian,
full-time service becomes a
way of life. 44
A Voice for Faith | S e rv i c e
The Christian Commitment to Service
I
t is common practice for Christians to engage in some form of love and service to others. There are two grounds for service by Christians. The most powerful is Jesus’ proclamation that he brings a new commandment –“Love one another “. The other is the life of St. Francis of Assissi. His life was service to others in the streets and countryside. Christians of our day have a variety of approaches. The housewife sees her life in the home as full-time service to the Lord. Others choose a missionary role for serving the poor here or overseas. From these two examples of full-time service, Christians take on part-time service in the church or the community. That raises one tension in Christianity – did Jesus intend for us to serve full-time or part-time? The
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A Voice for Faith | S e rv i c e
other big tension is found in the churches. Is church for worship or some combination of worship and service? The variety is great. Scripture solves part of this muddle. Jesus’ word is, “Love of God and love of others must be equal and in balance.” Such is seldom the case because church worship may dominate. Jesus made it clear that Christians are totally new persons for whom service to others has become instinctive.
Service to others is part of the whole life of the
Christian.
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A Voice for Faith | T e a m
How faith guided extraordinary ministries his man was a bishop in a closely knit T community of Christian services. He was raised in
a family of faith. He started as a pastor. He was given large leadership roles. At one point, he decided that in his expanding roles, he needed full university education in a seminary. This man’s calling was focussed on social services ministries. He started a number of camps, day school and residential programs for youth. His denomination kept a low profile, the broad society being not aware of the influence of his many services for the youth and families in his communities. Several of his sons took up the same kinds of leadership. At one point, he brought together ministers of the denomination, for prayer and sharing. These church
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A Voice for Faith | T e a m
leaders shared a special focus on social service ministries. From that group, over the years, there were developed camps, pastoral counseling, parole, day school and residential programs for youth and their families. It is amazing that such a large variety of ministries were inspired and developed starting with the prayers and sharing of that group.
A group of believers has the presence and guidance of
God Himself.
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A Voice for Faith | A M a n o f Fa i t h
A highly talented man showed how to do faith-based business
had an IQ beyond most of us. He maintained G aeorge quiet faith. His profession was accountancy. He rose
to prominence in his profession. From there he was invited by a political party to become their finance leader.
While all this was going on, he found time to display his musical talents in plays and church choirs. He also found time to become the president of a new children’s mental health center. In his music interests he became the leader of an annual musical theatre. As president of the children’s mental health center, he convinced a reluctant government to provide steady funding for troubled children.
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A Voice for Faith | A M a n o f Fa i t h
To his death, he witnessed to his faith in God.
Faith can do miracles in worlds of business and high society.
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A Voice for Faith | B i g B o n u s
The Great Big Christian Bonus
anet is frazzled. She has home, kids, J work, shopping, the gym, time with John and the
kids, church, choir and so on. She is anxious, edgy, shorttempered, tired and never dressed right.
Janet says she will try this church stuff. She checks with her friend, Mrs. Steady, and learns she must decide on one good change. Janet chooses to become calmer. To do this, she first puts herself in the hands of the Lord – which means to trust God fully. Then she needs to do daily homework - study and prayer focused on being calm. She must practice calm when she catches herself being angry. This goes on for three weeks. Then she checks back with her friend. The big question is has she become calmer. Friend says she sees a good difference. Janet keeps the homework up.
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A Voice for Faith | B i g B o n u s
Daily we, like Janet, face a great number of emotions: anger, depression, happiness, love, fun, spite, anxiety, worry, etc., etc. Somehow we juggle these as part of daily living. We are never free of most of these emotions, night or day. Carried to extremes they bring illness, serious handicaps. They are often fiery, depleting our time and energy – that’s life? Faith brings us a great, big bonus! Emotions are relatively flimsy but character renovation is steady, not easily shifted. Here are some of the other big benefits: peace, freedom, unconditional love, joy, forgiveness, faith, freedom from guilt - against which there is no law. These gifts enable us to be steady in the face of emotions. These traits start in infancy. Transformation by faith builds in us these new freedoms despite the fickle feelings. There are two worlds: life that is subject to the weather; and life that stays steady through the storms. Do we have a better option for life than this great, big bonus?
The
world’s best deal
– new life for old! 52
A Voice for Faith | D e c i s i o n s
How are Faith-Based Decisions Made?
I
t is not well recognized that Jesus provides help with daily problems. This is true in the way decisions get made. For centuries we have believed that bosses make decisions and followers follow. In the past century, we have learned a better way. We will use the family as an example. The traditional decision style for families was that Dad was the decider with the family members complying. This style has failed because the boss style confines decisions based solely on one person. Experience and research has told us that teamwork is much more effective. Teamwork encourages the sharing of views. That means that the decision has the benefit of views of all the family members. It also means that everyone has shared in the decision and hence is obliged to support it.
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It just so happens that Jesus had already presented consensus decision-making. In a disagreement, the two persons should meet, then if they can’t agree, they ask for a third person. If that doesn’t work, the decision can go to a group of people interested in the family and that decision. We have just gone through a century of management study and practice of mutual decision-making. There is just one fly in this ointment. Most of us agree that decisions shared are better than bossiness. Yet, the old boss style has been used for so long that we don’t seem able to shake it. As a result, people can go from a training workshop on consensus decisions and then into a meeting where the boss style is still alive and practiced. It looks like we all need more practice in sharing decisions. It also means that we should pay more attention to the words of Jesus for many daily matters.
It appears that
we all have lessons to learn about how to make good decisions. 54
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A good intent turned bad ?
18, comes home from his club R onny, and finds his Mom in the kitchen and tells her
about the meeting.
“We discussed diversity in the group – didn’t seem to get anywhere. We talked about Eastern religions like Islam, Hinduism because the others have been reading books. Their big question is whether we know if these other religions are good or better. I was surprised how seriously they are searching. Their big thing is that we all should respect the beliefs of others. This view is what we hear everywhere, accept and respect others for their differences”. Ronny’s mom asks, “Does it seem like diversity has become a religion on its own?” “I found it strange that no one wanted to talk about Christianity”, Ronny replies.
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Mom then asks, “Isn’t that what we find everywhere these days?” Ronny says, “I find it weird that somehow, overnight, Christianity has become a dirty word”. Mom says: “I think that the real problem here is the big difference between religion and faith. Religion is head stuff and faith is heart stuff. Before we can talk about other faiths, we have first to get personal experience with any of those other faiths”. “ I left the meeting wondering if someone could get so interested in other religions and not have one of his own. That would make religion a head exercise. Can’t I have a firm belief and still respect others?” Ronny wonders. “I think discussions of religion are a waste of words until we hear some heart stuff”.
Respect for others is vital but not a substitute for real faith. 56
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How do Christians love their Enemies? his sounds impossible – we can’t even T like our enemies. Can there be any logic here? St.
Thomas Aquinas, pillar of Christianity, says nothing in the faith is illogical. So, what does this obligation mean?
Helen hates her neighbour, Mildred. Helen has at least two big problems. First she is using up good energy by letting hate do its dirty work of tiring her. Second, she doesn’t understand the way Jesus means for us to love our enemies. The Bible use of the word, “love”, can really help Helen. Scripture use of “love” mainly implies actions. Thinking that way, “Love your enemies”, means kindly acts – not liking or hating. So the real meaning is to do acts of kindness regardless of one’s feelings. Helen can take a breath and try this.
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A close examination of the Sermon on the Mount reveals that Jesus’ instructions are all about actions - not feelings or beliefs. His instructions to Christians are what they are to do. So, loving the enemy refers to actions. We love our enemy with an act of kindness.
Loving our enemies
means we do acts of kindness for them.
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Forgiveness Leads to Fullness of Life
O
ur guest, Winnie, now understands the Christian belief about forgiveness. When she becomes a Christian, two great things happen. She receives full pardon for all past failures. She becomes a person who instinctively forgives others - no matter whom. Winnie decides to keep track of this new forgiveness experience: • She will run a three weeks test • She picks one thing that has bugged her: Winnie neglected to tell her Mom before she died how much she loves her • Every day for three weeks she will remind herself that God forgives her and Mom understands
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• During the three weeks she will tell close friends that she loves them • She will keep daily log • She will ask a friend to help her keep track From this test she expects: • To be relieved of chronic guilt • Her loved ones will be pleased to hear from her • She and her loved ones will feel close • During the three weeks she will feel more relaxed
Winnie can find herself thanking God to learn that
Christian forgiveness
Faith bringing joy to God, others and herself. is at the of the
heart
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The Power of Forgiveness he account of Peter, the leader of Jesus’ T disciples, has three dramatic phases. That account
demonstrates the transforming power of forgiveness. It has three phases in the life of Peter – founder of the Christian church.
In the first phase, we see Peter the bold, impetuous, spokesman for the disciples, making claims of his utter devotion to Jesus and His ministry. He makes promises that nothing will separate him from his commitment to Jesus’ cause. In the second phase, we see Peter the chicken. At the trial of Jesus, Peter, many times, protests he knows nothing about Jesus. He disappears to hide in the bushes along with the other disciples. Suddenly later, Peter is leading 3,000 people expounding on the life changing power of Christianity. What caused this complete transformation of Peter from chicken to leader of the new, growing Christianity? 61
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From the accounts, there are two events that changed Peter. First, there were sightings of Jesus alive again. That would certainly give Peter courage. There was, however, another incredible event. Jesus, while being tortured on the cross said, “Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do�. Who has this capacity to forgive a soldier who is shoving a spear in his side? Forgiveness from Jesus hit Peter like a bomb. He was guilt-ridden from being a chicken. Suddenly he hears that the Lord has forgiven him. In that, Peter became one the first of millions of Christian converts - receiving forgiveness from all their misdeeds.
is
Forgiveness
unique and at the
Foundation of Christianity
essential experience for all Christians
– It is the
in whatever situation. 62
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The ABC s of Christianity The Most Powerful Forces in Life – Love and Forgiveness A. The all powerful and all loving Christian God is beside us, each one, no matter what. This faith doesn’t come from logic or science. It comes from 2,000 years of billions of people who staked their lives on the Christian God. Evidence of this faith includes relationships, nature, the genome, music, prayer, mathematics, self-sacrifice and the Bible. B. Jesus of Nazareth’s message and his life tell us what we need to know about God. We become followers when we turn our lives over to God. Followers of Jesus experience a personal revolutionary transformation of change from their state of self-interest to 63
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being loving and merciful servants, even for their enemies. Everything we need to know about all this is found in the red print in the New Testament – Jesus’ own words! C. The Christian church is made up of groups who have God’s guidance by His presence. This is the power source of Christianity. God Himself is on our side to help us do what needs doing - like helping the poor, the sick, the homeless and the unfortunate. The Christian church equips its members to be secure, loving servants.
Jesus’Way:
Choosing God over Self.
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We are surrounded by a Godless Generation
W
innie says: “How can we be expected to raise kids with Christian character without any training for this world’s most important job – and with no help? She asks: “Where did the teamwork of school, church and family go? My parents needed that support. Is there anybody out there on our side? Our new family is being called “nuclear”. Winnie is right – her family is nuclear, isolated and stumbling in our frantic society with its rampant and hectic changes. She and her family have lost support from governments, businesses, schools, universities and the media, all of whom have dismissed the Christian God. Family is low priority in these organizations. Going from our society is the foundation of our morality and 65
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faith. Gone is Winnie’s support to raise children with moral and spiritual character. Gone is the experience of the Spirit of Jesus for billions over the past 2,000 years. Winnie sees the damage that the new changes have brought: • Few families are raising kids with a spiritual base • Disrespect, violence and terror are now on the upswing • Teen suicide comes when our youth can’t find meaning in life • Why are divorce, teen pregnancy and abortion so prevalent? • Does anyone pray? Sadly, the Christian churches are also overwhelmed by our godless society. They are scrambling to maintain their traditional services in the face of shrinking memberships and funding. They are limited in their time to consider new ways to use our knowledge of nature and science to support their message. Their present appeal to families is limited. Winnie’s family is nuclear, fragmented by many distractions and isolated in our new society. How can they return to a family life that provides the security, love and spiritual foundation needed by both children and adults?
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Families need to rebuild with their world of children, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. They all need to recapture control of family life - its work, money, learning, activities and prayer. If Winnie wants to try for a spiritual family base, here are some no cost suggestions: The entire family has dinner each Sunday together – started with prayer Kids can go to the library for, “The Message”, copy of the Bible To bring back Sunday, all plan a family fun event, not work Each day, each member phones some other family member Husband checks to see if there is another family, like his, who would be interested in all this.
Winnie sees that her family is trapped – will they do something about it? 67
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Christianity – A Religion of Growth
S
ome see Christianity as a fixed condition given when a person signs on. No – real faith is a process of continual growth, not a victory medal. Christianity is a process of growth – continuous and not easy. Let’s take the man who has, for many years, used the Family Wellness Rainbow (see it at: www.FaithFinder.ca) for daily, morning devotions. He discovered when picturing himself orange, (for relationships), that he had held spite towards two persons for 25 years. In his devotions with his wife, it became clear that spite is wrong and hurtful. He decided at “orange” time each day, he would concentrate on ridding spite. After three weeks that spite was gone forever – thanks to God and His Word.
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Growth means changing for the better. That is expressed these days by goals. They have the benefit of being more specific on results and time spent. Such is the capacity of Christianity for whatever area needs growth – individual, family, community or nation. Christianity is now not known for its growth nature. We all need to avoid seeing the start-up experience as the faith. Rather, Christianity must be seen as a process of God-guided growth.
Faith means
a continuous learning process of God, others and self.
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Jesus’ Cure for Guilt
I
t is a sad sight – all those people, Christian and non-Christian, spending precious time feeling guilty. Each of us has done a dumb and hurtful thing or things in the past. The more we dwell on these, the uglier they get. Taken to extremes, some people can spend so much time feeling guilty that they become mentally unbalanced or ill. Jesus’ way to guiltless living is very simple. First he labelled what guilt really is – a selfish, destructive way to spend time and energy. We spend time living again our dumb acts, which helps no one and hurts God and us. Here is the first half of Jesus’ cure for guilt – stop insulting “Me” by wasting yourselves repeating dumbness. The other half is “Love Others”. He did not mean going around liking everybody. What He did mean was – “Spend your time doing kindly acts for the benefit of others.” Jesus’ simple solution to guilt is to so focus on the 71
A Voice for Faith | G u i lt
well-being of others, that there is no point in wasting time rehashing past dumb behavior. He demonstrated how this works in His life here on earth. Jesus said, “God wants to help us love one another”.
Jesus showed us God’s cure for guilt
–“Love One
Another”.
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Helping Efforts that Help
C
hristians and others are highly motivated to do something for someone else. Such efforts more often fail from lack of know-how. There are three principles that govern helpfulness: Principle A. Improvement is in the hands of the person, not the helper Principle B. Helping must stay focussed on the person, not the helper Principle C. Advice seldom works because it shifts the focus from the person to the helper Here are five steps in the helping process gleamed from professional clinical practice: Step One: What is the person’s main concern? Step Two: Clarify for both, the nature of the problem Step Three: What has already been tried? 73
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Step Four: Of the options, which one does the person prefer? Step Five: What has the person decided to do?
The heart of
helping
total focus on the Other’s needs.
is the
Looks like the professionals know something about faith.
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How Kids Become Believers
A
s usual, the big answer is simple. The greatest faith influence on children comes from the faith of the parents. Beyond all words, symbols or activity, it is the presence of God in the parents – the best prospect for a child. So, parents who want kids with a spiritual foundation, should spend efforts on their own spiritual lives. The next greatest influence on children comes from relatives and close friends. Research says that grandmothers have great influence. Literature, family prayers, church attendance and a Bible within reach, all make for a child’s solid early spiritual experience. Mr. Stone says this is a big mouthful. He and his wife are busy people. But, spiritual growth is not busyness – it is mainly a matter of choice. God is with us or not. That
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is the main choice for the Stone family – through all the changes at home and in the community. The good news for parents is that the majority of children will return to the family faith. But, parents need to realize that times have changed. The new adult will practice his faith in new ways. The next generation faces a world losing its normal values, traditional church ways and good manners. This will be very difficult for them and their parents. All Christians must seek, together, for the ways of the faith that can prosper despite diversity, opposition and terror.
Our children must be prepared
with a faith to face a
world growing ugly.
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Billy, age 10, has questions for Dad about the sermon on the Kingdom B: I didn’t understand all that stuff about the kingdom D: Jesus and his family lived in a town controlled by the Roman army. For centuries the Jews were waiting for a new king who would save them. Jesus preached about the Kingdom of God. He got such a big following he became known as the Messiah. B: What has that got for us? D: Jesus was killed because the Roman and Jewish authorities found him to be a problem. Jesus didn’t fit the picture of a strong king. His message was all about love, humility, service and forgiveness. B: I still don’t get it.
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D: When Jesus died there were miracles, including His appearances, from which the Christian church arose. Our church came from there. B: So the sermon was about God, love, humanity, service and forgiveness. Why didn’t he just say so?
Kingdom of God
The
is
here and now,
helping us get life right.
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Where has God Gone?
I
n our day, it is foolish to claim that God, the Creator, is here beside us, helping any way that he can. Yet, Jesus came to demonstrate that fact. Upon his life the Christian church grew to be the mainstay of the lives of billions of people over 2,000 years. Now suddenly we have a new god who is present in every part of our lives. Who is the champion of our faith, is it money? Where is all this leading? Not long ago, the lives of the saints demonstrated their lives in the presence of God Himself. They showed the reality of God here and now. St. Francis served the poor, St. Thomas showed the logic of the Christian way. We don’t have to go back seven centuries to see the same evidence. A chat with any Christian who has served the Lord for 30 years will demonstrate a life lived with the full consciousness of God’s presence in practical lives.
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We are a people who have lost the awareness of God. We have little to say to our children about the purpose of life except the marathon for money. Faith must be reborn for this new society bringing life’s essentials of hope, love and service.
We have lost
our way lured by ugly ways of our diverse, money-based world.
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Why Christian Marriage is so Special
W
innie and Herb have been married for 12 years. While they have struggles, they deeply love each other. They have learned that good marriage requires hard work - particularly adjusting to the different styles of the other. They probably have not taken the time to settle on the spiritual foundation of their marriage. They feel that falling in love and getting married is the way families develop. Not so with a Christian marriage. In the Christian way, couples don’t start families. Instead, the Christian community starts families. In a Christian marriage, each understands what it means to give yourself to someone else. So, a Christian marriage already has the experience of giving self to another. That is a big deal. It forms a solid base for marriage that can’t happen otherwise.
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Another feature of a Christian marriage is that it happens in a religious ceremony. The marriage is conducted in a Christian worship service led by a Christian minister. The members of the wedding party and the other guests participate in a Christian ceremony and its celebration. In a Christian marriage, the embryonic family is part of a larger family, bound by allegiance to God and caring for each member. Today we see many different forms of marriage. In most of these cases the couple assumes that they alone are starting a family. They also assume that children belong to them. Here is great risk for children all the way from total neglect to wars over custody. The Christian marriage affords the maximum security and love from the members of the whole family– badly needed in this fast paced society.
In our rapidly changing society, must be the our first
priority
welfare of children.
That is not the case today. Christian marriage holds the best promise of a safe and loving family life for children. 82
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We are all uniquely equipped for a special job
A
mazing! Each of us is different for a purpose – we are different in fingerprints, face, genes, even soul. It is not easy to find one’s special calling. It takes some effort to sort out who only we can help. It starts with thinking of all the people with special needs who need us. They can be folks close by or far away. We can narrow down the list by thinking about what we seem right for. From the list we might find three or four. For example one could be a visitor to the elderly or turning a hobby into helpful items to be shared. With this effort, one day we find what looks like the right service for us. That leads to decision day. Am I serious enough about a mission to decide to do it?
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There are costs of having a personal mission. There is the time commitment. Even more serious is the requirement to stick at our mission - perhaps for years. But there are huge benefits. One becomes more useful and helpful. More than that, the mission shapes our priorities. It is great benefit when one job puts other things in better order. We walk with a lighter step knowing we are doing a special job helping others, that only we can do. Then there is God. If He designed us for a special job, there is the need to make sure we are doing what He has in mind. Prayer is essential.
Mission can become the
purpose for life
– helping others in unique way
a for which we have been born.
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A Voice for Faith | Pe ac e
Christianity is the Universal Peacemaker
C
hristianity is the peaceful religion. The Founder made it very clear - we are to forgive, go the second mile, love our enemies, give wherever we can, love one another. The Christian church did get off base in its history – like the crusades. This in no way lessens the requirement on the individual to follow Jesus’ words. There is variety within Christianity. For some, the call is to get out there and help those in need. For others, the call may be writing and teaching. Such variety is to be expected, provided all are one in the faith. There are two kinds of peace. The more evident one is social peace in the community between diverse views. The believer works among people in conflict to urge a better way. The success of such efforts depends upon all
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those involved. The believer stands for a peaceful way. His influence is controlled by God and the faith of the peace-makers. That kind of peace is external. The other is internal. There is no peace where there is no internal peace. Personal peace is not generated in the community. It is found in the fellowship of believers. Peace is experienced in the relationship with God and fellow believers. This is a profound peace that is continually present despite any or all conditions. This is a mark of a Christian.
In all areas of life,
Christianity stands for
peace.
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Prayer is the Most Important Experience for Believers are those who believe that God T ishere here and helping and those who do not. Prayer is the lifeline for believers. It is a puzzle for the unbeliever.
God made each of us different. The experience with God will therefore be different for each one. There can be no standard formula. So here is one example how it can happen. Chuck is a Christian and he is in love. He asks God to help him to see if Gladys is the right one. Then he has to wait for an answer. Gladys’ parents go out of their way to welcome Chuck. That sounds like it could be an answer from God.
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Chuck discovers that Gladys is not a Christian. That is a bombshell. Is it also God’s answer? Clues come and clues go for Chuck. At some point, Chuck has to decide how it adds up - Had God answered? He would be wise to share all this with a buddy to get an opinion. For the believer, God answers prayer. He already has a history of prayer experiences. That means that Chuck can pray for anything – Gladys, himself, his family, his close friend, his work, health, those suffering, the nation. Chuck, a believer, should be praying at regular times each day. There are many Christians who claim that life must be a constant prayer. For those who experience God’s presence continuously, prayer just happens naturally all the time - driving the car, taking out the garbage or in church. Prayer is the lifeline for the believer. It is seeking God’s guidance for everything that matters day-by-day.
model of a prayer life, follow For the
Jesus. 88
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Is Christianity Real?
W
e will check this big question under three classical headings: Words, Deeds and Spirit.
A. Words: Christianity seems to have words right. But it is not getting the words right that counts. Words can help or hurt. It is dangerous to speak before you think. We all talk too much. The wisdom from the ages is silence. Christianity cannot be fully understood using words. The best words, however, say all that needs to be said – “Heart to God and Hand to Others”. B. Deeds: Nearly everybody is in favour of kindness. In practice, most of us rate at best a D. Christianity says that service must be full-time if we want to be true to the calling. It also says that words and deeds must be in balance. Too much one way is as bad as too much the other. The essence of kindness is that we put others before ourselves.
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C. Spirit: This is tricky. Many believe in good words and deeds but stop there. The definition of Spirit here is that all life is made up of personal relationships. Christianity has that belief - God is personal, here, helping for ever.
If we don’t care for all this wordage, Christianity has a simple answer to the big question, “Is Christianity Real?”
The answer isJesus. He embodies all we need to know if we follow Him – His Words, Deeds and Spirit.
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The power of faith can come from anywhere
E the Queen as Her national representative. In that
ric was raised in a family designated by
regal atmosphere, Eric had multiple choices of profession and career. He chose ministry. Later we find Eric in France, living in a house with several totally handicapped adults. What was he doing there? He was there because he believed that the only way to fully understand another person is to live with that person. His objective was a process of loving handicapped adults and thereby demonstrating the presence of God in daily life. If not cure, his purpose is to share the good news of the new life with the handicapped. Moving forward, we find Eric as the founder of hundreds of residences for the handicapped around the
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world. Each residence has the original purpose – live with the handicapped to love and share the faith. Next we find Eric as a writer and speaker on the nature of the totally renovated life. He becomes a national figure – humble and gracious. Eric has become the nation’s prime spokesman for the full Christian life.
God, could steer Eric on such a glorious path? Who, but
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Suffering, an Essential in Christianity
W
hen someone claims that the Christian life is easy please refer them to this list of Christian sufferings: 1. A good deed is often ignored! It costs to reach out to others. In some cases the effort is ignored. In other cases, there can be sarcastic laughter. Appreciation will be scarce. 2. A friend is in trouble – don’t know how to help. 3. We can count on opposition. These days many seem to enjoy slamming Christianity. We send our kids to Godless schools. Everywhere someone is suing to have Christian symbols removed. Christians are being killed for their faith. 4. Betrayal – Is there anything more heartbreaking than a fellow believer turning against you? Some who have 93
A Voice for Faith | S u ff e r i n g
given life-long commitments suddenly, for no rational reason, become enemies. It happens! It dismays! 5. Physical Pain – Too often it’s the good folks who suffer most. Fortunately we now have helpful medicines. Good healing comes also from visits with friends or loved ones. Advice - take the medicine - there is no merit in physical suffering. 6. Torture – Ghastly examples seem to be increasing. It is unthinkable that anyone would mistreat another in such gross ways. Some such folks belong in locked mental hospitals. Our Lord, in the middle of his torture, prayed, “Father forgive them, they don’t know what they do.” That prayer founded a world – wide church based on forgiveness. We now see Christians holding up under torture as did Jesus, honouring His faith.
In the Believer’s
new world,
suffering is always there.
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Love can be unconditional
of us know that relationships of love M ostmake the world go around. We all usually
try many different brands in search for the ultimate way. They include: • A learning relationship • The casual relationship • A few dear friends • Family members • Sex • Work relationships • Marriage
Then there is unconditional love, which Christians claim they know from experience. Here are their views: • Unconditional love means no negative act or happening can change it • It means total openness between two or more • Decisions are mutual - due to the respect each has for the other 95
A Voice for Faith | S u pe r Lov e
• It is “ No matter what” love • It provides a security not found elsewhere For example: Two men own a print shop. Business is going well; their relationship is going downhill. The families are threatened if the business fails. Both men attend different churches and claim to be Christians. Family members meet. A pastor is asked to advise. Despite help from all sides the problem is worse. One of the wives asks the question, “What would Jesus do?” That leads to discussions of faith, forgiveness and turning the other cheek. Finally a teen in one of the families says, “I attended a workshop on unconditional love. Why not try that? It is like a marriage - a commitment, with God’s help, to put the other person first, no matter what. How can you have an impossible problem doing that?” After months of discussion and prayer, each met half way.
Unconditional love – the strongest bond in the world Life CAN be that good!
–
God’s way. 96
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The Family as a Team eams are essential because that way in the T family, everybody plays, everybody wins, everybody knows what is going on and what to do. How a Christian team Works Principle #1 Teams make decisions; individuals are team members Principle #2 When teams get stuck, leaders make temporary decisions Principle #3 Team decisions outweigh solo efforts Here are some of the details: • Teams start on time and finish on time • Each item gets its time- if not finished it carries over • Notes are taken summarizing only decisions
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• The leader’s job is to ensure everyone has a part Teams can become a vital place in the lives of the members. Every member, young and old, has a role in the team. Teams that pray together, usually stick together.
Teams are where theLord is present the
and helping family and each member.
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Time for Family and Church to Get Together
B
oth the family and the church are struggling. The family is becoming fragmented. The church is losing members. The family and the church need each other. The children must have the family and the church working together for them. There are ways families can help the church and themselves. In this day the very best way is with small groups. A few families decide to meet several times to see if they can help each other in daily matters and in faith. Fortunately, there is now a small group network with experience and know-how. See SmallGroups.com. Hopefully, the local church will welcome that suggestion. If not, small groups can tap into the knowhow and start locally with two or three couples.
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Another family approach for a church can be local service ministries. Most communities need food banks, or senior clubs, or youth centers. The importance here is that the church is serving the local community and that it is an effort by volunteers coming from local families. There is plenty of experience with these types of services in the local community. Here again, these ideas will depend upon church readiness. If there is a problem in one church, there are others in town. Once such a ministry gets started, other churches will show interest. In these two examples, the need is for practical services that bring the families and the church together. In these high-speed, ever-changing communities, they must start working together again.
The
faith and
character
of our children requires family/church
teamwork . 100
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The Enormous Impact of Faith
H
usband and Wife, both ordained clergy, served a large national church for 40 years. Their leadership had huge impact on this national church. Both came to their life of service from families who were also pastors. The wife pioneered new service roles for women in a church formerly led mainly by men. She developed personnel systems for the services of the many posts where they served. In one Canadian province she guided large camping programs where, in one year 300 teens were ready for personal faith commitments. The husband, in his leadership in various locations, guided the regional reorganization of the national church. During his years of service he operated a program for young parolees. He directed the national programs
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for social services and correction. He established leader training programs for regional clergy leaders. He introduced national team leadership and goal setting training for pastors. Throughout their careers together, they set the tone of prayerful leadership of a great variety of services. Two of their children followed their parents in clergy leadership roles.
There is no limit to the power for good led by
couples full of faith.
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Nobody can explain the joy of faith - it is another world
A
sk a believer what joy comes from faith. No words can really do it. The answer could come in a song or a quoted scripture. Somehow, we don’t understand. The reason is simple: faith is an experience, it is beyond words, even for the great poets. The experience of one is hard to explain to another. So the words we could use are: • With God, I am safe and free • I now find I want to help others – that’s new • My big guilt load has disappeared • My relationships have become powerful
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• I am glad to meet others. To find it rather than “To feel it”, go to a meeting of believers. Another way is daily quiet times of at least 15 minutes. The best way is to get to know about Jesus.
Faith is caught rather than taught
takes time, even for a first clue.
– usually it
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A Dream Came True by Faith his man, born in the great depression, learned the T benefits of persistence to help a dream come true.
His home was peaceful and a place of hard work and pleasantness. There was no reference to faith in his first 30 years. Carl applied himself in school and continued to university graduation in engineering. He began five years as a business editor. At the same time, he and a close friend started a boys’ club at the church. His interest in faith began there. One day, while visiting a large boys’ club he saw two kids who were out of control. Later, in a quiet walk, he chose a lifetime career helping troubled children. He was inspired by the movie, “Father Flanagan’s Boys’ Town.”
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His dream was to become another Father Flanagan. Married with two children, he quit his editorial job and enrolled in the seminary of his denomination. There he had great difficulty with the church language. Upon seminary graduation and license as a pastor, he knew he had to qualify with a master’s degree in social work – two more university years. By this time, he was still struggling with faith in his own life. The “Boys’ Town” was started with a small group of friends. That, some years later, became a large children’s mental health center offering at least six different treatment programs for troubled children and their families. After 25 years, Carl moved to a job as trainer of family services leaders in a large denomination in Canada and the U.S.A. Now retired, he is writing books on family wellness and faith in the human services.
dream that came true, 3,000 children and families got help. In the
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How an Unnoticed Man Serves So Well
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immy was a member of a teen Sunday school class. The group was named “The Christeens”.
This group discussed many sides of faith. The group grew a life of its own. They travelled together by canoe to distant lakes. They camped together – some 25 teens. Jimmy was always quiet, always willing to help and often hardly noticed. Forty years later Jimmy attended church with his wife and family. By this time he was retired from teaching and offering professional help to individual students. In the church, Jimmy became the music leader forming groups with his musical knowledge and his pleasant personality. By surprise, Jimmy, and his wife, met the former leader of “The Christeens”. During the visit, Jimmy’s wife made
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a remarkable statement: “If it wasn’t for you, we would never have been married.” The former leader couldn’t remember the counseling she claimed they received. Isn’t it remarkable that the faith stimulated in a teen class could have such results 40 years later. Now Jimmy, his wife and the leader are close friends again.
work of faith goes beyond all imagination. The
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A Stranger in Our Town
Y ou are a Christian – you live in God’s
special world right in your own town. You are at a party where the discussion is mostly business and sports. A pleasant lady (a stranger) sitting next to you is very excited about her new kitchen. You support her by confirming her excitement. You show interest by asking, “When will it be finished?” You chat. Upon leaving the lady remarks, “You are somehow different - maybe it’s your face.” You acknowledge the pleasure of the chat and give her your phone number, asking if you could visit when the kitchen is done. Three months later, you drive to the lady’s home. The cars show a big difference. You are appalled at the luxury of her home but complement her on her new kitchen and then invite her to come for coffee at your home.
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The lady arrives at your home and is surprised that the home is so old fashioned. The lady says, “I was right! We are different. Do you think you know how?” You reply, “I really enjoy our friendship - the only thing that comes to mind is that we are Christians.” Tips for Christians when meeting strangers. • Show interest and be supportive of the other person • Avoid religious talk unless asked • The Lord will use you as a witness - you care by being there
The
Lord is with you as you love your neighbour.
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How Faith Makes a Family Whole hese are days when families are very isolated T and confused. They are fragmented by the big money
systems that shape their lives and morality. Today’s family is the victim of the controls of big banking, big business, big governments and big media. How in the world can a family be in control of itself? The family’s problem is more inside itself. They accept that the big systems are what separate family members. However, the family has an even bigger problem - the members who don’t work together and the parents who don’t demonstrate how togetherness can work. The Johnson family has a son doing poorly at school. Both Mom and Dad work. Mom tries to talk about this with Dad. He is more interested in sports on TV. Then Mom calls the school. She meets with the teacher. One
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problem is homework. Teacher suggests parent signatures on homework papers. Mom agrees. Next day son asks dad to sign the homework sheet. Dad says that it is all wrong, don’t bother me. Mother asks about homework sheet. Son said he showed it to Dad. This game goes on until the mother gives up trying. Dad and son go out to shoot some baskets. This family has no faith group connections which could lead to working together. Here is where these parents can learn more about the spiritual dimension in family life: • Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, dear friends are mostly willing to help a family where parents are seeking help. • It is helpful to share faith experiences at meals and bedtime • Readable faith books should be in the home • Friendships with godly neighbours can be cultivated
Faith is the only reliable cement for the whole family. Every family must be aware of its need for spiritual togetherness. 112
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About the Author Robert Shaw, BASc, BD, MSW, is a human services leader with 50 years of service to troubled children and their families. Dellcrest Children’s Mental Health Centre, The Markham Institute, Atlanta Project New Hope for Families and Markham Salvation Army Family Services were all founded by Robert. Under his leadership, training resources in service practices were created in the areas of family wellness, staff supervision, teamwork, continuous client benefit, evaluation, service program design and strategic planning. For his work, Robert was awarded the Distinguished Contributor’s Award from the Ontario Association of Children’s Mental Centres. He was honored as a Fellow of the faculty of administrative studies, York University, for his help in starting the Voluntary Sector Management Training program. Robert is the author of numerous training manuals and books—all devoted to the practices of serving children and their families. 113
A Voice for Faith | B o o k r e v i e w s
Book Reviews An impressive and practical manual for assisting children and youth to develop character through faith. Rev. Ralph Garbe, (OM), BA, MDIV, MTH, retired
The key ingredient in successful living is trust. Robert Shaw has put his finger on it wonderfully in this deceptively brief but deeply interconnected collection of thought pieces. He and I have had many delicious years of debating about what should be the central focus of one’s faith but we are in complete agreement about the power of faith in shaping character. What a person has come to believe in will shape all responses in dealings with others. This cuts two ways, however. The parent that teaches lessons of negativity, hatred and suspicion can expect their children to build an approach to life based on those lessons. Faith is an enormous power. 114
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I hope the parents and leaders who read this book can get its essential message and use it to review their own approach to those who trust them. William H. Eull, Ph.D., C.Psych, Clinical Psychologist, Ontario, CA
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.” For decades, Bob and Myrlin have lived their lives according to these two great commandments, serving God and fellow man. And nowhere is it more evident than in their latest book, “Family, the Cradle of Character”. In this little book of fifty essays, the Shaws bring the great commandments into relevant family life. The book is filled with practical, family-oriented advice. “The Christian’s Homework” offers couples and families a guide path to a fuller spiritual life in the home. And, “Family, the Cradle of Character” speaks to the problems of today’s increasingly secular world. “We Are Surrounded by a Godless Generation” depicts many problems – and many solutions – to what we see and hear going on around us. 115
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“Family, the Cradle of Character” is a series of small, highly readable, easily digestible personal essays. The book could be read straight through, read in small segments, or, as I imagine the Shaws would want, used as a daily devotional. The Rev. Dr. Richard B. Hitchcock, Cleric, researcher, Georgia, USA
Robert’s vast experience enables him to see the great need of families and offers practical solutions. “Seek and you will find”. God will be the stability of your times. Evelyn Shelton, Mother of 6 and grandmother of 11, Ontario, CA
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Vo i cbook e f o ris Fa h | V i s i oparents n The aim ofA this toi tencourage in their efforts to nurture their children in a family atmosphere of faith and character building. Each essay brings practical examples from both professional and family experiences.
The author is Robert Shaw, B.A.Sc., B.D. M.S.W. who shares his professional experience from decades of leadership service to children and families. The editor is Myrlin Shaw who carried the full responsibility for the many drafts. The essays reflect also their experiences with their family of ten children. Robert and his wife Myrlin are members of The Salvation Army.
For a f r e e copy of e-book
Family, the Cradle of Character
please go to
www.FaithFinder.ca D o n a t io n s c a n g o t o The MarkhaM InsTITuTe 20 Athlone Road | Toronto, On | M4J 4H2 a C a n a d ia n c h a r it y You can contact Robert Shaw at: rcecshaw@aol.com 118