2008 4 1

News 3

Politics 4

Education 5

Bullboard 6

People 8

International 9

Entertainment 12

Arts Day 15

O, how this spring of love resembleth The uncertain glory of an April day!

-William Shakespeare

April 1 , 2008 Wilson College Chambersburg, Pennsylvania Vol. XXXX, No.3

Cumberland Valley Film Society Desires Student Membership and Ideas

by Jessica Klein-Carnes

The Cumberland Valley Film Society, spearheaded by Chambersburg Mayor Pete LaGiovane, attempts to restore cultural strength to the downtown of Chambersburg. Asked what prompted him to start The Cumberland Valley Film Society, Mayor LaGiovane answered that many individuals share his love of film. The group convened for the first time, chose board members, and has acquired approximately Mayor Pete LaGiovane works hard fifteen members thus far. to enhance the appeal of downTwo members of the Wilson faculty, Luis town Chambersburg.

Escobar, Director of Information Technol- Photo by Jessica Klein-Carnes ogy and Kathleen Murphy, Director of the Library also donate their time as members of the film society, sharing in the mayor’s love of foreign and independent film. According to Escobar, the Capitol Theatre recently purchased a new $50,000 projector, which promises a superb picture on the big screen.

When questioned if Wilson students are welcome as members of the Cumberland Valley Film Society, Mayor LaGiovane replied with an enthusiastic “Yes!” He wants students to share their ideas with the club and requested that students also communicate suggestions on what downtown Chambersburg can do to attract their patronage. “What kind of clothing shops, what kind of restaurants, and what kind of cafes appeal to you?” he asked.

Aspiring Student Journalists Observe the Truth Behind the Public Opinion

by Sarah Martin

On Wed. Mar. 26, Dr. Aimee-Marie Dorsten treated Journalism students to a tour of Chambersburg’s local newspaper, the Public Opinion. Becky Bennett, Editor of the Public Opinion, guided students through the building and allowed them to attend a meeting with City Editor Andrea Rich, and Copy Editors/Paginators Emily Salmon, Ted Haas, and Adam Kulikowski.

Dr. Dorsten’s students learned a great deal about the business of publishing a daily newspaper during the trip. Reporters at the Public Opinion assume responsiblity for both online articles and the articles that go to print. Each reporter is assigned two byline stories a day and one in depth story a week.

Reporters carry around a mini-video camera to each of their stories. When they return to the office, they can upload the story to the website using the online feeding system.

Online articles change continuously throughout the day. “News is always evolving,” Bennett said, which means that for online stories not all questions will be answered right away.

Reporters and editors are on very strict deadlines because of how long it takes to print and distribute the paper. During the week, the deadline is 12:30am and on weekends is 11:15pm.

Mayor LaGiovane, who also heads up The Council for the Arts, agreed that a musical guest could possibly show at the Capitol Theatre. The theater seats about 800 people, so the band may have a modest following.

It’s $20 to join the Society. Members meet at the Capitol Theatre or in other members’ homes, and also play a part in the choice of movies that play at the theatre. Instead of the regular ticket price of $5 to see a feature film, members pay only $4. Films show every Wednesday at 2:00pm and 6:30pm. One Thursday a month, a film exclusively for Wilson students and other interested parties will show on the theater’s big screen at the same times. On Thursday April 17, the Capitol Theatre will show Cinema Paradiso, a foreign film set in Italy.

The Film Society eventually hopes to sponsor other social events and discussions. The public’s interest determines the success of the Film Society, as well as the interest of Wilson students.

In September, downtown Chambersburg plans to welcome back Wilson students with a week set aside for shopping and entertainment.

For more information, please contact kmurphy@wilson.edu or lescobar@wilLuis Escobar son.edu.

Photo by Jessica Klein-Carnes

Journalism student Jessica Klein-Carnes sits in on a staff meeting at the Public Opinion.

Photo by YunJung Lim

Students also got a glimpse of the new printing press used to print the Public Opinion. Installed in 2007, it replaced the paper’s 57-year-old letterpress. Due to its large size, the floor in the printing room had to be dug down in order for the press to fit. Currently, the press is run and maintained by only three people.

The journalism students who took part in the tour would like to thank the Public Opinion staff for taking time from their busy day to share insight into their day-to-day activities. If students have questions regarding the Public Opinion, they may contact Becky Bennett at babennett@publicopinionnews. com or visit their website http://www.publicopiniononline.com.

EDITORIAL

UFO Mania Bears the Question, Are We Alone?

{Announcements}

I have to say, I am a total skeptic when it comes to UFOs, alien abductions, and anything having to do with the paranormal. But when Larry King tackles the issue with a four-man panel of retired military personnel who swear that they have seen and touched something from out of this world, I can’t help but to wonder…what in the world is with the thousands of documented reports of UFOs that span all parts of the globe? Are these people serious, or simply insane?

In watching King’s re-broadcast this weekend, I have to admit I was quite intrigued at the lack of shifting glances, nervous fidgeting, and stuttering I would normally expect from people who were either lying or exaggerating the truth. These guys were quite serious in their recollection of their 1980 close encounter in a remote forest in Germany. In fact, they were so serious that they were willing to gamble their reputations to discuss it on national television.

Even the actress Shirley McClain confessed that she too believes in visitors from another world joyriding through the Earth’s airspace. Former 2008 presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, and former Presidents Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan have admitted to seeing UFOs. Astronauts John Glenn and Gordon Cooper; news anchor Walter Cronkite; musicians Mick Jagger, John Lennon, Elvis Presley… well, you get the picture. Curious…very curious…

But regardless of whether one chooses to believe that we are a pit stop on some kind of cosmic Route 66, the history of UFO encounters has a very long tradition. In fact, ancient texts and artwork are dotted with unexplained phenomena from the heavens. Granted, our scientific evolution has made us aware that what our anxious ancestors might have seen above were simply meteors or comets darting through the sky.

However, what about the slew of accounts over the past 50 years? It’s simple to brush these claims off as merely weather balloons, swamp gas, the planet Jupiter, or top-secret testing of naval aircraft. But honestly, what if? Is it safe or even rational to think that we are the only intelligent life in this universe?

I suppose it depends on where your individual beliefs lie. As for me, I tend to sleep better at night by brushing these “encounters” off as a mere game that the mind plays late at night…on countless individuals…at the same time…on a dark and desolate country road…next to a cornfield…in my own back yard…

Attention Seniors!!

Happy April Fools Day Everyone!!

- June 30th, 2009)

Your slightly paranoid Editor-in-Chief, Kimberly Maske-Mertz

federal deadline http://www.Fafsa.ed.gov/

If you don't already have regalia for commencement please stop by the College Store and place your order now. We also have frames available for your diploma, stop by and see the selection.

Book Scholarship Looking for some extra money to pay for those books? Well look no further. WCGA is sponsoring the Book Scholarship again this semester. All you have to do is write a brief essay about the topic below.

The deadline is April 25th!!

Topic: How did the Dummy Rush evolve into the current Color Wars on campus?

Be sure to do some research on your own on the topic!

Don’t Forget Your FAFSA’s !

Federal Student Financial Aid Deadlines The 2007-2008 School Year (July 1st, 2007 - June 30th, 2008) The 2008-2009 School Year (July 1st, 2008 State deadlines may be earlier than the For specifics on Wilson-related deadlines, please check the Wilson Admissions

The Maypole Dance A Celebration of Spring

by Sarah Martin

“Come lasses and lads, take leave of your dads, and away to the May-pole hie; For every he has got him a she, and the minstrel’s standing by.”

--Rural Dance about the May-pole, Mr. Young’s ball, May 1671 In 1902, Wilson began observing a tradition called May Day. May Day is a celebration Photograph courtesy C. Elizabeth Boyd Archives/Hankey Center, Wilson College. that eventually evolved into what we know today as Spring Fling—a time for Wilson students to let loose and have fun. However, a facet of the May Day tradition that has resurfaced at recent Spring Flings is the Maypole Dance.

The Maypole Dance is a tradition from the Middle Ages. The Maypole was originally a tree that was cut down, brought into the village square, and decorated by children who would dance around the tree with many ribbons. Each village would compete with the neighboring villages to see whose community had the biggest and most decorated Maypole.

The Maypole dances of long ago served as one of the aspects of the May Day celebration, helping to bring communities together. Like those celebrations of the past, the Maypole dance has come to symbolize unity within the Wilson community.

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homepage under Financial Aid and Scholarships Personal Income Taxes are due April 15, y’all!!! Check out http://www. irs.gov/ for downloadable forms and submission options.

Corrections: In Issue 1 of the spring semester, we printed that the ink cartridges used to print the Billboard are sent to PetsMart Charities. While the Billboard currently saves ink cartridges used in the office for this purpose, the PO sends its cartridges for recycling to the Xerox Corporation.

In Issue 2, we inadvertently printed the wrong name under the photograph of Wilson horses on Page 3. The horse pictured is named “Midnight,” owned by student Lisa Baker.

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008

NEWS

Students Break Ground for Spring Break

by Danyelle Reid

For many students, Spring Break represents time off from a busy semester, a much-needed period of relaxation, or just a time to get away. Students take advantage of their spring breaks in a variety of ways. Some may decide to travel across country to visit a friend or to party, while others simply hang out at home with family and friends.

This year, a group of Wilson students decided to take an “alternative” vacation to Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina, where they stayed for the duration of the college’s scheduled Spring Break.

“The purpose of Alternative Spring Break is to provide students with the opportunity to spend a traditional vacation week performing services for people in need located in new and diverse regions,” said Katelin Reever, President of Habitat for Humanity-Wilson Campus Chapter. Various colleges offer alternative spring breaks as an outlet for students to utilize their breaks effectively by aiding communities in need throughout the region.

As they have in previous years, the group participated in the Habitat for Humanity’s Collegiate Challenge program. During their excursion, the group spent several hours per day throughout the week, placing siding and roofing on a set of houses that were under construction in addition to building porches and installing doors. The group also worked along side two other college groups to complete additional projects.

Chaplain Kate Smanik Moyes, who led the group, says, “This experience of service enlightens classroom work by showing how our academic pursuits connect with work in the outside world. For many students the service work they do while at college continues when they graduate and they often use professional skills to serve the needs of others in their community and beyond.”

Alternative Spring Break is a remarkable opportunity for students to give back to the community while building a strong work ethic and effective communication skills while gaining knowledge on how to become a better

Students sacrifice traditional Spring Break to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity in South Carolina.

Photo courtesy of Chaplain Kate Smanik Moyes

team player.

Students such as Aliyah Johnson participated in Alternative Spring Break for three consecutive years. “I do it because it’s fun, and it’s a good way to give back,” said Johnson. “It’s a really rewarding experience when you get to meet the future homeowners.”

Wilson College’s Habitat for Humanity Campus Chapter will offer more alternative spring breaks in the future to give students the opportunity to assist others. Students who enjoy traveling, working with others, and serving others may want to consider participating in an alternative spring break next year.

For more information, students are encouraged to contact the Office of the Chaplain at chaplain@wilson.edu.

Counseling Services Available to Staff, Students After Mock Assault in Jensen

by Satoko Unno

On Tues. Mar. 11, Director of Communications Debra Collins, and member of the Wilson College Emergency Response and Planning Committee (ERPC), announced that Wilson College would offer counseling assistance to support students, faculty, and staff members having emotional reactions to the mock arrest event held in the dining hall on Mar. 4 during the Campus Safety Week.

This event was one of the Campus Safety Week events held from Mar. 7 to Mar. 11. The Wilson Red Cross Club and EPRC jointly hosted these events to demonstrate different crises to help minimize tragic situations, and to deal with emergencies. Students, faculty, and staff gained an understanding of crisis situations and how best to deal with them. This heightened awareness can help protect them and keep the Wilson College community safe.

The safety Week schedule was: *Mon. Mar. 3 -Survey to evaluate the awareness of Wilson’s Crisis at the Red Cross table *Tues. Mar. 4 - Residence hall intruder demonstration *Wed. Mar. 5 - Safety Tips email from Campus Safety *Thurs. Mar. 6 - Edgar Bell rings five times to alert students to an emergency *Fri. Mar. 7 – Testing the emergency text messaging service

Wilson students learn a valuable lesson about campus safety during a mock intruder demonstration.

Photo by Jessica Bernard

*Mon. through Fri. - Safety information distribution at the Red Cross table The EPRC anticipated that Tuesday’s demonstration may have cause anxieties or fears. Two counselors were available to counsel participants and to discuss appropriate responses to the event. No students have contacted Shoemaker yet; however she hopes anxious participants will contact her office for assistance.

Counseling services are available to students by contacting Cindy Shoemaker, Director of Counseling at x3235. Staff and faculty may contact Don Kime, Director of Human Resources at x3252. .

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POLITICS

Will You Vote for Hillary or Barack?

by Ji Youn Lee

On the road to the White House, a great deal of media coverage debates who may win the Democratic nomination, but aside from keeping a close eye on the news, what should voters know before heading to the polls? To keep the Wilson community informed, the Billboard provides a brief snapshot of the candidates below.

Hillary Clinton, a frontrunner for the Democratic Party, is a U.S. Senator from New York, elected in 2002 and reelected 2006. After attending Wellesley College and Yale Law School, Clinton began her profession as a lawyer and was the first woman partner of Rose Law Firm in 1979.

In 1974, she moved to Arkansas, and the following year married former President Bill Clinton.

Senator Clinton was the first First Lady to have a post-graduate degree and her own career when entering the

Let the Political Games Begin: An Interview with Stephanie Moritz

by Ji Youn Lee

The Pennsylvania primary is quickly approaching. But how much does it matter so far into an election year? Stephanie Moritz, President of Wilson College Political Science Association shares her thoughts on the upcoming election.

What do you think of young voters?

Well, the youth population generally has the lowest level of voter turnout in both the primary and general elections. I would encourage youth to seek information on the candidates and participate in the 2008 primary and general elections. The Political Science Association held a voter registration drive on Mar. 6-7. We had about 18 Wilson students register to vote, which was a good turnout.

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White House. In addition, she was the first First Lady to take up an office in the West Wing. Despite criticism that she did not seem involved in national security and foreign policy as First lady, most consider Senator Clinton as the most powerful First Lady in history.

Senator Clinton’s campaign focuses on issues such as affordable health care, ending the war in Iraq, promoting energy independence, providing educational opportunities, fulfilling promises to veterans, supporting the child care system, women issues and reforming the immigration system. On the issue of health care, she proposes to mandate individual health insurance coverage for all Americans and offer federal subsidies for those who cannot afford it. She also intends to expand Medicaid and federal children’s health care programs.

Of course, gender matters in her campaign. A third of Americans say that most people they know will be less likely to vote for Senator Clinton because she is a woman. Women

view her more comfortably than men do, but she still faces skepticism among some women according to polls.

Barack Obama, the other frontrunner for the Democratic presidential nomination, is a U.S. Senator from Illinois, elected in 2004. After graduating from Columbia University and Harvard Law School, he served as a civil rights lawyer and as an Illinois State Senator. Senator Obama was the first African American President of the Harvard Law Review and is the fifth African American Senator in U.S. history. He has played an active role in the Senate’s efforts on border security and immigration reform.

Senator Obama’s campaign focuses on issues such as protecting civil rights and those with disabilities, as well as the economy, education, energy and the environment, the war in Iraq, immigration, health care, homeland security and foreign policy. As President, he hopes to end the war in Iraq, reform the U.S. healthcare and education systems, and decrease U.S. dependence on

Who will you vote for? Do you have any particular reason?

I will vote for John McCain in the PA state primary and general election. He has already secured the Republican nomination and was my preferred candidate in the first place. I prefer John McCain’s emphasis on cutting government taxes (his proposal includes about $400 billion dollars in tax cuts which includes cutting corporate tax rates from 35 to 25 percent). These tax cuts will bolster economic growth, which America really needs right now, as opposed to both of the Democratic candidates whose proposals include massive tax hikes and increases in government spending that really have no potential to generate economic growth.

John McCain is also a Federalist, which means he favors devolving governance from the national to the state and local governments. This allows voters to exercise greater control over their elected officials and programs since they do not have to go through the federal bureau-

cracy. The Democrats are for greater centralization of governmental power at the federal level, a less democratic process. John McCain does not call for a withdraw from Iraq by 2009, which both Democrats propose.

There is no possible way the U.S. will be able to create a stable government in Iraq by 2009, and a withdraw from Iraq would result in major political upheaval in the region. At the local level, I will support Jim Taylor for the PA state senate. He is a conservative candidate who wants to fight governmental corruption at the local level, and he is particularly opposed to the PA pay raise.

What issue would you consider to be decisive in the Pennsylvania Primary?

Well, for the Republican primary the candidate has already basically been selected. But I think in general the economy is probably the factor that looms the largest on the mind of voters in all the primaries nationally and I would assume this to be true in PA as well. The economy is

foreign oil by implementing new sustainable energy initiatives.

Race plays a role in his campaign just as gender does for Clinton.

Obama hails from a biracial heritage and tries to avoid being labeled as simply a black politician. According to an article from the New York Times, Obama appeals to white voters while satisfying the expectations of African-Americans. He also appeals to young people, who in the past have comprised only a small percentage of American voters.

For more information on each candidate, visit http://www.hillaryclinton. com or http://www.barackobama. com.

usually the top issue and probably will remain so since the Iraq war has received reduced media attention recently.

Since John McCain has already won the Republican nomination, do you think the Pennsylvania Primary still matters?

The Republican primary still matters because the presidential candidate is not all that is selected. As I mentioned earlier, the seat for the state senate in Wilson’s district is up for election this fall so voters should still go to the primary and vote for other nominees from their preferred political party.

The Democratic nomination will generate by far the most attention in the PA primary. Hillary Clinton needs to win the Pennsylvania by a large margin in order to remain a viable candidate in the race. She current holds a lead of between 10 to 15 percent depending on the polls and will need to maintain or increase this margin.

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008

EDUCATION

{Career Corner}

23rd Annual

Teacher RECRUITMENT DAY

Be Careful Who You Associate With!

The type of people you associate with reflects the type of person you will become. If you associate with negative people, then you will eventually become a negative person. If you hang around positive people who have dreams and goals, then you will develop successful, winning characteristics.

You need to study success. Find someone who has the kind of happiness and success that you would like to have in your life, and then copy them. Learn what they have done, then try to follow their path because Success Leaves Clues!

When you finish reading this article, take five-minutes to think about those qualities you admire in other people. Which of those qualities would you like to have? Write down these ideas, memorize them, and begin practicing them everyday. Soon, those qualities will become a habit and they will become the qualities that you have yourself.

James Malinchak is one of “America’s Most Requested Motivational Speakers!” He is the author of 10 top-selling success and motivational books and a contributing author to the #1 Best-selling book series, Chicken Soup for the Soul®. To contact James for a speaking engagement: visit: www.Malinchak.com,

PRIORITY REGISTRATION FOR SUMMER AND FALL 2008

Thursday, April 10, 2008 Pucillo Gymnasium

MILLERSVILLE UNIVERSITY Millersville, PA

Free to all students and alumni of

ALBRIGHT zALVERNIAzELIZABETHTOWNzLEBANON VALLEY MESSIAH zMILLERSVILLEzPENN STATE HARRISBURG SHIPPENSBURGzWILSONzYORK COLLEGE OF PENNSYLVANIA

$10 fee for those from non-participating colleges and universities March 31st – April 27th Priority registration is the earliest opportunity for students enrolled in the 2008 spring semester to sign up for Fall 2008 classes. During priority registration, degree-seeking students are required to register online. A student who is unable to complete a registration online should contact the Registrar’s Office. Priority registration is based on the number of accumulated course credits, including current enrollment (see below). Please note that all returning students should register during their priority period to help ensure their desired course enrollments.

9:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.

Open Interview Format View participating school districts at www.collegecentral.com/trd Students should pre-register at hdrumm@wilson.edu or X 3314

Congratulations to Caryn Watson ’07!

Caryn recently won a Wilson gift basket (filled to the

The Priority Registration Periods are as follows:

brim with goodies) from the

March 31 - Student with 26 (14) or more course credits may

Wilson College Career Ser-

begin registration

vices Center…just for filling out her graduation survey!!

April 7 - Students with 16 (10) or more course credits may begin registration April 14 - Students with 8 (6) or more course cred its and TIP may begin registration April 21 - Students with less than 8 (6) course

Seniors—want to get in on the action? It’s easy!! Just contact Heather Drumm at hdrumm@wilson.edu for details.

credits may begin registration April 25 - Last day for Priority/Online Registration Note: Parenthesis ( ) denote number of course credits required for Associate Degree students.

Wilson alumnus Caryn Watson receives her award of Wilson goodies from Heather Drumm.

Photo by Jessica Bernard

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How to get an “F”: Guidance by the AntiLearning Resource Center

by Nickie Loco

The Registrar’s office recently published class offerings for Fall 2008. As many of the professors are aware, students’ need for obtaining F’s on their final report cards is getting stronger and stronger each year, but not all are successful.

Therefore, based on the faculty’s high demand, the Anti-Learning Resource Center decided to issue study guidelines for students wishing to obtain good, old-fashioned “F’s” on their report cards.

Here they are: A student trying to get an “F” should possess great self-discipline and motivation. Before starting to plan, students should know that it won’t be an easy task and that they will experience times when genes will force A’s, not F’s.

In order to obtain an “F,” the student needs to work hard and concentrate fully on her mission from the beginning. On the first day of class, say your name loudly and make sure you spell it too.

Everybody needs to remember you. You will be the one used as a bad example for the rest of the school year. As a next point of your introduction, talk about how you failed five times before, and then tell the professor you hate his/her class and that you don’t look forward to spending a single minute in class listening to his/her boring lecture.

If you are lucky, you will be kicked out of the classroom.

Wilson Student to Climb Mount Everest This Fall

by Miss Yak

Since I was fifteen, I have pestered my parents about letting me climb Mount Everest. They brushed aside my insistence as ridiculous and just a “phase” I was going through to “conquer to the world.” My parents also feared about my safety, physical and mental tolerance, frostbite, and what not.

I admit that I did not think I had the physical capability to run ten miles, let alone climb 29,028 feet. I thought it ironic and even a little shameful that the world’s highest peak was right in my back yard, and I had never even visited it. However, each time I saw its white peaks I was determined to at least reach the base camp of Everest. I was fascinated by it. I wanted to meet the Sherpa 6

During the next several weeks of class, annoy the professor and do everything the opposite way than it should be done. Every morning, come to class late and try to make as much noise possible. Slam the door, pour out the coffee that you just bought at Sheetz, or fall on the floor just for fun. When you sit down, ask the professor if you can use the restroom. If she/he lets you go, return by slamming the door and say, “Oh, I forget to wash my hands!” Go back again and don’t forget to slam the door. During the rest of the class, listen to music from your MP3 player with the volume turned up so everyone in the room can hear the lovely sounds of heavy metal. If this does not work, read a magazine or take a nap. Of course, loud snoring is a necessity. Hopefully, your professor will begin to hate you.

As a candidate for an “F”, forget the words “study” and “homework.” Your life motto should be: “Just nerds need notes!” During finals, concentrate all your energy on watching TV, playing computer games, or having wild parties. It’s more fun than studying for tests or doing homework. It’s so cool to be an “F student,” isn’t it?

When the finals come, try hard to do badly on the tests. On the essay questions, answer “a, b, c, or d.” On true/false questions, make sure to circle the third column, saying, “I don’t know.”

Totally ignore multiple-choice questions. It’s too easy to choose the right answer. Finally, pray for an “F” on your report card.

If you followed the rules, you will probably reach your goal. Congratulations! You are now on your way getting an “F!”

people, see a real yak, and visit the monasteries.

I took mountaineering lessons at the Pasang Climbing School for four years, without permission from my parents, as I knew that they would never agree to let me continue my climbing lessons. I practiced on the smaller peaks of the Himalayan ranges. Seven months before I arrived in the U.S, I finally passed my climbing test…after six failed attempts.

On Mar. 21, I was stunned when I received my official climbing license and approval from the Nepali government to climb Mount Everest in my mailbox. I called home immediately to inform my parents about my acceptance. They were very upset with me at first, but they relented eventually.

Come summer break, May 11, I will be flying back home to CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST!!! I will be sure to take numerous pictures at the base camp and share it with the Wilson community.

Wish me to “Break a leg!”

Absurdity Breeds Absurdity; Etcetera, Etcetera, And So On And So Forth

by EssicaJay EinKlay-ArnesCay

“Humor is the sense of the Absurd, refusing to take itself seriously”. Arland Ussher True or false, or truly absurd? You decide.

Thank God Spring Break came to a screeching halt. For Easter, I shot a waabit…my mamma cooked a mouth watering stew. I did cruise the back roads of Shippensburg for waabits that already bit the dust to avoid shooting a rabbit. I found a few road kill victims, but my handy dandy meat thermometer let me know that the rabbits been long croaked, so I shot one. I happened on a possibility on Egg Road, but a car came out of nowhere, so I dove into an embankment and recovered to find my thermometer crushed. Not only did the car crush my thermometer, but it crushed the skull of the rabbit too. Ever see rabbit brains?

This, oddly enough, reminds me of the time I “met” John Cusack, the actor, in Pittsburgh, at the Hilton Hotel. He worked all day on a movie set and every night, around 10pm he drifted into the hotel bar to wind down and drink a few beers.

My friend had earned the position of extra in the movie. We arrived at the Hilton around happy hour and drank our fair share of alcohol. Finally, after one too many drinks for both of us, in walks John Cusack. She attacked him as he sat down on a barstool, and he told her where to go in no uncertain terms. She returned to our table defeated, and I (being the great friend that I am) decided to go over and give him hell. With liquid courage, and a mixed drink in hand, I marched over to Cusack. I proceeded to tell him where to go. A fight ensued, and drinks were thrown.

Needless to say, I now look forward to pop quizzes (one of my favorite professors explains they are a reward for reading the assignment), presentations, critical response papers, research papers, final projects and finally, FINALS. I love to read, especially required readings, because if a professor requires me to read something, it must…I SAY IT MUST be important to the rest of my academic career and help me in “real” life. After all, you never know when Advanced Placement Calculus will save your life (or help you cook a mean road kill feast.)

For next year I decided to purchase a scooter so parking will not be such a problem. Instead of the fifteen-minute ride to school it may take an hour, but a scooter seems more practical than a car when you go to Wilson College.

Lastly, make haste and gather up all of your mirrors. Do you remember your reflection when you walk away?

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008

BULLBOARD

Seventy Wilson Horses Go Missing; Equestrians Chew the Hay Over What Went Wrong

by The Vertically Challenged Writer

Early on Tuesday April 1, a call came into security that all the horses were missing from the Wilson barns. The barn staff had shown up at the usual time of 7am to find the barn doors wide open and creaking on their hinges like the doors of a ghost town, and the stalls completely empty.

Security arrived only to find a scene of chaos, while barn staff members were in the backfields trying to wrangle horses. The witty thoroughbreds would allow handlers to get just within arms reach, then reel around and gallop off. What caused this behavior in the usually well-behaved school horses? More importantly, who on campus would do such thing?

Horse whisperer Ima Nutts was called in at noon to ask the horses why they wouldn’t come to anyone. Returning with a grim look on her face, she solemnly told school officials, “The horses are

on strike. They are requesting more treats, better hay, and more beginner riders who they can push around.”

When asked how the horses had escaped, Nutts explained that while turned out the day before the precocious ponies began discussing the conditions of the barn and realized that none of them had received a treat during their lessons. This prompted them to devise a plan in which Petie, whose stall doesn’t latch quite right, would go through the barn and open each stall allowing for the break out. One by one they got out of their stalls and headed over to the field across the tracks, stopping by the feed room to pilfer a quick mouthful. In their haste, the horses broke the top on the sweet feed bin.

In an effort to restore peace to the once serene barns, barn staff went through their lesson plans and decided they could rotate the horses through the beginner lessons, but only if each horse promised not to throw the beginner. The staff would also make sure that each horse had a treat put in its stall after every lesson. Satisfied with the outcome, the fugitive horses agreed to the new terms and trotted effortlessly back to their stalls, ending their standoff.

Goalie Madness

by Ida Rather-Romaine-Anonymous

The Phoenix field hockey team decided to stop the lack of acknowledgment by the Wilson community during home games and thus came up with a new plan of how to bring people to the stands— Wilson’s girls, with sticks and coaches, want to attempt to break a world record and be included in the Guinness Book of World Records during the next season.

“Since we already have six goalkeepers on our team, I thought it would be a great idea to recruit a few more so we actually have more goalies than field players. If we find five more girls wanting to be in the cage, we can have a starting line-up full of goalkeepers only,” head coach Sherika Novakova revealed exclusively for the Billboard.

Novakova also said that when her field hockey players looked into the book just out of curiosity, and did not find a single field hockey team in the world having 11 or more goalkeepers on the team, the idea came up about breaking the world record and receiving recognition in the Guinness Book of World Records.

“When they [the field hockey players] told me, I knew what my goal during the off season was going to be: to recruit as many goalies as possible so we can break the world record. And I think I have been very successful so far, “coach Novakova said.

However, how many goalkeepers are coming in the fall remains a secret. 5? 10? 15?

“I can’t tell you now because then you won’t be surprised in August,” she said.

The athletic director, Lookin Fried, says that she completely supports the field hockey team and coach Novakova’s efforts and that she is willing to pay for an additional 10-15 goalie pads and any other equipment they may need.

Wilson students are encouraged to contact the Athletic Department if they wish to become goalkeepers and be a part of the team which is going to break the world record. For more information, please email coach Novakova at s.novak.loves. goalkeepers@wilson.edu “I can’t tell you now because then you won’t be surprised in August,” she said.

The athletic director, Lookin Fried, says that she completely supports the field hockey team and coach Novakova’s efforts and that she is willing to pay for an additional 10-15 goalie pads and any other equipment they may need.

Wilson students are encouraged to contact the Athletic Department if they wish to become goalkeepers and be a part of the team which is going to break the world record. For more information, please email coach Novakova at s.novak.loves. goalkeepers@wilson.edu

Billboard Editor-n-chief in Hiding; Sports Editor Takes Over Ranks

by I. Wanda Gradyooate

Breaking News—The Billboard office was thrown into chaos today as a number of staff members staged an all-out coup against Editor-in-chief Kimberly Maske-Mertz.

The full-fledged mutiny was lead by Sports Editor Nikola Grafnetterova. Tensions between the two editors have been on the increase since last fall, stemming from an argument over how many pages should be allotted to the sports section of the paper.

After a few failed attempts to negotiate the issue, Grafnetterova says that she has had enough.

“I believe that sports are the most important thing that Billboard covers and should take precedence over everything else,” she said.

A source from Billboard on condition of anonymity (News Editor Sara Martin; Room 315) stated that the heightened tension has caused a rift between all staff members. “Certain alliances have formed and caused dissention in the ranks.

Grafnetterova has created a seriously large problem between herself and Art Director Go Woon Lim, who feels that the Billboard should be limited to one page. It’s mass hysteria, I tell you! MASS HYSTERIA!!”

Petie the horse, who has worked closely with the Billboard staff on certain occasions, even had an opinion. When asked whether he agreed with Grafnetterova’s course of action, the precocious pony simply replied, “Neigh.”

Maske-Mertz is currently in seclusion for fear of her life and waning sanity, and was unavailable for comment.

Grafnetterova says that it serves her right.

“Sports should have 16 pages! I refuse to settle for less! If she won’t give them to me, then I’ll just take over! Ppphhhttt!!”

Editor’s note: The Billboard is currently in need of sports writers, sports editors, sports columnists, sports photographers, sports advertisers, and sports drinks. Interested parties should contact Sports Editor-in-chief Nikola Grafnetterova at billboardsports@wilson.edu.

The Wilson Bullboard is an April Fools Day tradition and is not to be taken seriously.

The Billboard staff reserves the right to give any student a grade of “F” for the semester if they take it as such.

7

PEOPLE

{Spotlight on} Jack Ebersole, New Accommodations Coordinator

by Jacquelyn Valencia

Welcomed into the Wilson community this spring semester was Jack Ebersole, the LRC’s new Accommodations Coordinator. As the Accommodations Coordinator, Jack works with students who have documented disabilities to find reasonable accommodations and foster an environment conducive to their learning needs.

In general, students with disabilities make up between 9-10 percent of the student population in a college or university. “My role,” Ebersole says, “is to create a level playing field for all students, and many times individuals need a little assistance in the process.”

One type of disability involves learning, where students have a reading or processing disorder. Working at a slower pace, these students require more time on tests even though they retain the same knowledge as students without learning disabilities.

Ebersole also works with physical disabilities, where a deaf student cannot hear the professor’s lecture. His role is Jack Ebersole, new Accommodations Coordinator for the LRC. Photo by Jessica Bernard to provide a sign language interpreter so the student can have an equal learning opportunity in a traditional setting.

Wilson College is the third institution that Ebersole has worked with in Disability Support Services, the previous being Harford Com- atmosphere as well as the institution’s outlook on education. “And so,” says Ebersole,” I am happy to be back.” munity College in Maryland and Penn State Mont Alto.

Ebersole’s goals for Wilson include creating equal opportunities for all Ebersole’s background encompasses psychology and counseling, as well students and sharing with faculty ways to work with students with physical or as a familiarity with test assessment and analysis. “It is helpful to have a background in these fields because many students with learning disorders suf- learning disabilities in an equitable way.

“I want to raise the level of awareness because students with disabilities fer from forms of depression and anxiety” he says. can make as much of a contribution as any other student,” he said.

The chance to transition from full-time to part-time employment was only In the fall, students should keep their eyes open for opportunities to particione of the reasons why Ebersole found his way back to Wilson. “I saw it as pate in workshops—created by Ebersole and Vicki Locke—to better the learnan opportunity to make a contribution to the students, but also as an opporing atmosphere for every Wilson student. tunity to make a contribution to my life as I have more time for hobbies and For more information on future workshops or accommodations for stuinterests.” dents with disabilities, contact Jack Ebersole at jebersole@wilson.edu.

Having previously worked here as an adjunct, Jack is familiar with the

{A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A NON-TRADITIONAL STUDENT}

If I Were President of Wilson College

by Jessica Klein-Carnes

If Wilson elected me as President, assuming the college bestowed upon me unlimited power, the first issue to tackle in my presently inflated mind would be to expand the Information Technology department. I observed after a brief discussion with Luis EscobarDirector of Information Technology, that the task before the IT department, which is to restructure the computer system, necesitates a larger department. After all, students rely heavily on the school network, from email to searching databases.

The health and longevity of the library concerns me, too. I firmly believe that the more resources found in a college library, from books to online journals, represent the wealth and dedication of the school to its students. Some college libraries hang original art pieces and display extremely rare books to attract patrons and students. The importance of a library compares to the impact of an opulent church a community funded to build. In other words, the 8

quality of the college’s Library reflects Wilson’s commitment to expand and improve the image of the school.

As the President, I might stroll around the campus to assess any environmental issues that may exist. I may notice that despite the new ashtrays I see around campus, most students throw trash in them, so the ashtrays do not serve the service they are intended for. A light bulb may go off inside my head, that ashtrays placed in front of the stairs of each building could eliminate the cigarette butts at the entrances of all the buildings.

On a rainy day, when I walk to my car, I may notice the excessive water on the portion of grass right before you can step on a sidewalk. It may upset me that the puddles are unavoidable and the drive home includes soaking wet feet. The solution may pop up on my ride home. How about extending the sidewalks over the grassy area that collects so much water?

Finally, my last issue relates to student empowerment and awareness. Wilson College profits immensely from tuition, donations, and fees for services here and there. I consider it imperative for students to know exactly where their tuition goes. I would give an abbreviated form of expenditures and profit to any inquisitive student.

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008

INTERNATIONAL

{Postcards From The East} Insight and Accord in the Heart of NewYork City

AMost MemorableApril Prank

by Suyeon Jo (South Korea)

by Xiaomeng Li (China)

Believe it or not—before I went to New York City, I was nervous. To some extent, the U.S is the center of the world. Meanwhile, NYC is the center of the United States (although I have heard some Americans say NYC is another country). To enter the heart of the world sounded exciting and incredible.

New York City. People all over the world can see it everyday on TV and in the newspaper. People read stories; they listen to songs that talk about it. It is a symbol of fashion, liberty, and it is the top of the world. Perhaps in everyone’s impression, NYC is a fabulous city with rushing crowds and flashing lights. NYC is Times Square and Central Park. NYC is Broadway and Brooklyn. NYC is a city of extreme diversity.

When I set my feet in this land, the countless skyscrapers, bustling people, and jammed streets soon enchanted my eyes. I realized that NYC is truly the fabulous place I have imagined before.

Actually, it is more than I have imagined. Everything is fast, from the neon lights at Times Square to people’s paces. As a person who has spent almost one year in Chambersburg, I was really embarrassed at first.

After coming to adapt all this, I began to think about the characteristics of the city. As the center of a country that values individualism and liberty, the city seems to be the best example to illustrate this. There are millions of people from all over the world gathered in NYC—different races, ethnicities, and nationalities— that melt together to form this amazing “world.” This is a city with millions of people living parallel lives, and such a lively

city as if it will never stop shining.

But what is inside everyone’s heart? The speedy trend of everything gives people no time to stop. I sometimes felt lost because I really did not know where I should go, what I should see, or where I was. I discussed this with my friend who travelled alone to NYC. She said, “Yes. This is such a fabulous city filled with exciting things. But I feel lonely.”

Perhaps this is common to all world famous cities. Maybe I am just too sentimental or emotional.

I considered this again on Easter morning when sitting in the Times Square Church, surrounded by people of different classes, races, and nationalities, singing happily and raising their hands towards God. I was greatly touched. It was just incredible to me. I have never thought that people with their strong beliefs had such a magnificent power to form a harmonious environment. I cried through the happy melodies, which felt more like a musical during this unusual service. I could not tell why, but I began to realize that perhaps everyone is good enough to build such a lovely city.

Guests Savor the World at Annual Muhibbah Dinner

by Ae Jin Kim

On Mar. 8, the Muhibbah Club hosted its annual Muhibbah Dinner in the Jensen Dining Hall under the theme of “Our Planet on a Plate.” The Muhibbah Club is the international student organization, comprised of members from 14 countries.

From the beginning of the semester, under the advisement of International Student faculty member Muhibbah members take part in “Our Planet on a Plate”.

Paul Miller and Muhibbah President Yoo Na Kim, Photo by Jee Youn Lee members readied traditional performances, prepared special dishes, and planned the event at periodical meetings.

In Korea, we also have April Fool’s Day. All people enjoy that day, especially students. Basically, Korea is one of the conservative Asian countries that has been influenced by Confucian ideas, so rules of school are very strict and it is the duty of all students to respect teachers and study hard.

However, there’s one day that is officially allowed to trick and irritate teachers, and we do our best. For example, we trade our whole class with another or we switch the direction of our desks and chairs so when the teacher comes in to class, he or she sees the back of students’ heads. In one class, students ran away from literature class to the playground.

And here is an unforgettably crazy incident of April Fool’s. When I was a middle school student, I went to an all-girls school. There was a boy’s middle school right beside my own. On April Fools’ Day, we met with representatives of the boy’s school and promised to switch our class with theirs. It was so exciting that we couldn’t sleep the night before.

Eventually, our whole class went to the boys’ school, wearing school uniforms and waiting for those who were supposed to switch with us. Thirty minutes passed and we never met with them, so we worried that something may have happened (like their teacher had caught them) and we were getting nervous. Suddenly, one of the boys shouted to us standing in the windows, “Hey! What are you doing up there? Today is April Fool’s Day~! Yay!!!”

Yes! Only then we realized that we were absolutely cheated by them. Although we were really upset at the time, it’s now remembered as an unforgettably funny day to me.

Over 225 visitors attended the event, including host families for international students, Wilson faculty, and students. The evening’s entertainment included Korean & Chinese piano performances, belly dancing, Korean fan dancing, a fashion show, and songs performed by club members. Music gave guests the opportunity to hear traditional, beautiful rhythms of each country while the fashion show presented to guests the gorgeous, traditional dress of each country. The menu featured cuisine from countries such as China, France, Ethiopia and Korea.

The public appreciated the successful event.

Students, host families, and faculty enjoyed tasty international food and visitors encouraged the efforts of international students. All proceeds from this event will go toward scholarships for international students at Wilson.

9

SPORTS

Last Flic-Flacs and Flip-Flops at Wilson

The Wilson Gymnastics team bids a fond farewell to Senior Katrina “Kat” Clippert.

Photo by Shelly Novak

by Nikola Grafnetterova

Senior Katrina “Kat” Clippert, who graduates this May, concluded her last gymnastics season at Wilson College. Clippert was pleased about how her senior year turned out, as was new Gymnastics Coach Amy Martelli.

“This year was the first year I was able to compete in every event at every meet. Freshman to junior year, I always managed to injure myself midseason right before the home meet. But not this year. I made it through the season with a few slight injuries,” Clippert said.

In addition, Clippert has enjoyed the company of her very talented teammates this year.

“I am super proud I got to be a member of this team this season, and I cannot wait to see what my gymnastics friends are capable of next year,” she commented.

10

Clippert, a gymnast for 14 years, hopes that she will continue to compete following graduation. Right now she doesn’t know what her future will bring, however she says coaching may be something she will consider.

“I have a few coaching job offers lined up so at least even if I cannot do it [compete] next year, I’ll still be able to coach and be in the gym.”

Clippert’s highest career scores stand at 8.9 on vault, 8.25 on bars, 8.75 on balance beam (her favorite event), and 9.375 on floor.

In addition to gymnastics, Clippert would like to continue her studies.

At Wilson, she majors in philosophy and religion with a minor in archaeology.

“I am planning on going to graduate school next year to pursue a Masters in archaeology,” Clippert said. “I haven’t heard back from some of the grad schools yet, so I don’t know exactly where I’ll go.”

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008

SPORTS

{Athletes of the Week} Feb. 25- Mar. 2

Support the Wilson College Student-Athletes as they:

Workout for St. Jude

St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital was established for the sole purpose of conducting basic and clinical research and applying it to catastrophic childhood diseases, mainly cancer.

The daily operating costs for the Hospital are $1,216,247, which is primarily covered by public contribution.

The Athletes of Wilson College are working out in the Eden Hall Fitness Center to help raise money for this cause.

You can contribute in one of two ways: x Sponsor an athlete by making a tax deductible contribution** x Join the workout and collect your own sponsors Our goal for this event is to raise $3,000.

If you choose to contribute to the cause by raising money and working out with us you can sign up by contacting Rachael Cline at rcline@wilson.edu or Lori Frey at lfrey@wilson.edu Event will be held on April 12th with registration beginning at 12:45pm at the fitness center.

The schedule is as follows: Fitness Center Workout 1-3pm Swimming Pool 1-2pm Campus Walk 2-3pm

** The Athletes can accept cash, checks, or money orders. All checks or money orders must be made payable to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Hit, Run, Score!

by Nikola Grafnetterova

The Wilson softball team began practicing at the end of January, but only now will players and coaches find out how well they have prepared for the tough season ahead.

Since joining the Northeastern Athletic

April 11 Villa Julie College

3pm

April 13 Keystone College*

1pm

April 15 Penn State University Harrisburg*

Gallaudet University. Taylor pitched 7 innings for the Phoenix, scattering 10 hits and 3 runs in their season opener. Offensively, Taylor helped her cause by batting .500 with a double and 1 RBI.

Freshman Samantha Vance was named Athlete of the Week for her outstanding gymnastics performance for the Phoenix at home on Sun. Mar. 9. Vance led Wilson to two first place finishes on Beam (9.0) and Floor (9.4). She also finished third with a score of 8.7 on the vault, placing her first all around with a 34.6.

Senior Katrina Clippert hit on all four gymnas-

Tennis

Softball 1pm

team to its first victory of the season, 8-3 over

Conference (NEAC) last year, Wilson’s basketball and soccer programs did not have much luck when competing against schools with very strong athletic programs. However, the softball team is ready to earn their first victories in the conference and show other schools that the Wilson Phoenix are small but mighty.

Wilson softball will play five double-headers at home in the month of April. Please come and show your Phoenix pride!

Upcoming HOME Sports Events April 5 Keuka College*

Junior Cheryl Taylor led the Wilson softball

April 20 Trinity College

12pm

tics events, tallying her highest over-all score of the season with a 34.0 at ECAC’s on Sun-

* NEAC Conference game 3pm

day. She also capped off an outstanding day by earning a career high 8.9 on the vault.

11

ENTERTAINMENT

the Book and Movie Review

by Jessica Klein-Carnes

It’s a Media Blitzkrieg

Test your Movie Savvy

In this book review, I wanted to focus on books that inform the reader about the diverse opinions that the media forces the consumer to form. People often hate the sexism and racism of the media, but they remain in front of their televisions and glued to the screen. The first four books are all located in the Wilson Library. The last book is from my personal collection, and the author grabbed the attention of the media in the 1960’s with his wild antics and bold declarations. I seriously recommend it to every aspiring author and lover of words.

Taking Aim at Brand Bullies, written by Naomi Klein, addresses controversial topics such as sweatshops, culture jamming, and corporate censorship. Klein explores what big companies like Nike, The Gap, McDonalds, and Microsoft do to negatively and positively affect their consumers. Even the musical group Radiohead read the book and encouraged their fans to read it, stating that the book influenced their album, “Kid A,” released in 2000.

Terry Flew wrote the next book I chose. Understanding Global Media discusses the tentacles of global media. It asks how political influences, the study of media and culture, and demographic characteristics all join together to form global media. It alarms me on a daily basis that the more I try to avoid the influence of media, the more it affects me.

Where the Girls Are: Growing up Female with the Mass Media, written by Susan J. Douglas, examines the subjugation of women in the baby-boomer generation by the media. It’s important to educate oneself about the past to note any stagnant ideas or to identify the progress of the collective conscious.

Douglas reflects in the book stating, “I look back at my former self…and I wonder: who are you? How could you have been so insipid? Are you related to me? How did you become me?” I know exactly how she feels The following book by Marcel Danesi focuses on the ambiguity of consumers’ attitudes towards pop culture. Why do we love to hate it? It’s titled Popular Culture: Introductory Perspectives. It appeals to any person who lives in the present boom of the myriad of cultures that blend together into what we call pop culture today.

The final book from my collection, The American Night written by Jim Morrison, an American icon, contains poetry that he wrote during his short but illustrious career. A favorite poem of mine begins “Once I had, a little game/ I liked to crawl, back into my brain/ I think you know, the game I mean/ I mean the game, called ‘go insane’…”

At the end of his career, Morrison went to France to escape the chokehold of the American media.

He hated that he loved the media attention. He faced the same dilemma in France. The media loved him, and he resented it until his death.

In recognition of the April Fool’s Day holiday, our resident Movie Maven Jessica Klein-Carnes has concocted an entertaining diversion to keep your mind off the impending debauchery of your crafty Wilson classmates. Answers appear on Page 16.

Chimps Wax Poetic, Chicks Feud, and a Soul Rises in Song

by Jessica Klein-Carnes

On Mar. 7 and 8, Wilson’s Kittochtinny Players put on an evening extravaganza of three one act plays. “Word, Words, Words” by David Ives, “GRRLZ In Space” by Dr. Michael G. Cornelius, and “Breakout (Ain’t Got Long to be Here)” by Wilson student Kimberly Allen wowed the audience and closed with a standing ovation.

The first production, “Words, Words, Words”, was directed by Alicia Duff. “I loved this one the most because the actors were very good,” Duff confessed.

Students Meg Oldman, Sarah Shetter, and Samantha Winkler played characters Milton, Swift, and Kafka respectively, but with a twist.

At the mercy of a science experiment, Oldman, 12

Meg Oldman, Sarah Shetter, and Samantha Winkler “see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil” during their performance of “Words, Words, Words.”

Photo by Jessica Bernard

Shetter, and Winkler portrayed monkeys ordered to write the Shakespearean play Hamlet. The crowd shrieked with delight when each of them—perched on a wooden block—imitated the three monkeys of the very famous “hear no evil, speak no evil, and see no evil.”

The second production was vaguely reminiscent of Jean Paul Sartre’s play, No Exit. However, instead of hell, the two women—Aliyah Johnson

Test your Movie Savvy A.Caffeine B.Descent C.Gone Baby, Gone D.Good Luck Chuck E.Death at a Funeral __1. This movie stars an unlucky in love guy, who acquires the reputation as a lucky charm to the ladies who have sex with him. __2.This film includes a gay midget, a guy who mistakes Valium for a hallucinogenic, and an aspiring pharmacist. __3. In this movie, a young college woman experiences a traumatic experience that, in the end, causes her to avenge the perpetrator. __4. This movie raises so many social issue questions that, by the end, you ask yourself “What would I do in this situation?” A prominent movie star from Boston directs this film. __5. A hilarious British comedy set in a local coffee shop. (Come on, this one should be a cinch).

Answers: page 16 as Chelsea, and Katelyn Gingrich as Amanda—are stuck in outer space. The two characters vacillated from hating each other to accepting one another, and both agreed on one comical question: “What’s worse than being an alien sex slave? Alien dinner.” The whimsical observations of the two actors had the audience laughing throughout.

The final play, “Breakout” written by Kimberly Allen, commanded a standing ovation. Her beautifully resonant singing voice roused the audience as she walked to her place on stage. Allen recited the profoundly written and thought provoking lines with great emotion, sometimes crying, sometimes screaming, and sometimes singing. As many women who experience subjugation, she brought her struggle to rhyme with her irrefutable writing and acting abilities. She asserted herself at one point by stating, “But I got knowledge; knowledge is power…I have the power to be marvelous.”

All three productions entertained parents and students alike, and merit congratulations to the Drama Club and Dr. Cornelius for a job well done!

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008

part5 Audrey felt miserable. Her face felt so heavy, she swore she was balancing a computer on her sinuses. Her nose was dripping; her eyes felt as though they had shrunken into her head, while her eyelids had swelled. She had thrown her hair up into a nappy, messy ponytail on top of her head that was so out of control Quentin had taken to calling her Bam-bam for the past few hours. Overall she just felt horrible.

All in the name of the English Gardens.

To get away from the city, Quentin had decided to take the two of them away into the countryside and explore. They spent the entirety of the day driving around to small villages and checking out the colorful foliage each town had to offer. It was a sunny day, which was a change for once. The majority of their trip had been overcast and occasionally rainy, which was exactly how Audrey had imagined England to be.

However, the day was beautiful for them, warm and breezy. The only problem was Audrey had forgotten to take her allergy medication before they had left. Pollen from the blooming flowers was airborne and her nose did not enjoy inhaling the spores all day. She had first realized this when they met up with some of Quentin’s friends for lunch and sneezed so forcibly she made the teacups rattle. Since that moment, she had felt shredded.

Quentin walked in to the hotel room with a bag.

He gave Audrey a sympathetic look and started to unload the contents.

“Still not feeling well, Bam-bam?”

“No. I’m feeling worse,” she said nasally.

“Well, I got the Vick’s Vapo-Rub you asked for, as well as some more tissues.” He glanced over at the already cashed box sitting beside Audrey’s bed. “Glad I grabbed two boxes. Also have some allergy medication and some orange juice.” He threw the allergy meds onto her lap. Audrey tore the box open and snatched the OJ, quickly downing two pills. Quentin chuckled and turned around, hiding something from Audrey’s view.

“Whassthat?”

“Oh, nothing.” He walked over to the DVD player and put something in.

“Quendin, I’m naw in the mood for games.

Whadid you pud in duh DVD player?”

“It’s one of my favorite shows. I think you’ll like it. I already have it back at home, but I thought you’d want to watch it, so I got you a copy that we can enjoy here.”

“How mush do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it, babe.”

Audrey was slightly taken aback. First, Quentin was being incredibly doting and caring, which wasn’t out of his character, but was very much appreciated. He also had just got her a present, even

though they had agreed that they’d split their costs.

And now, babe? Audrey, too tired to point it out, kept silent on the issue.

“Well, whaddis it?”

Quentin turned around and presented her with the DVD cover.

“Spayzed?”

“Yeah, Spaced. It’s one of my favorite shows ever! This guy, Tim, he’s played by Simon Pegg, the guy from Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead?

Anyways, he and his girlfriend split, so he had to find a new flat and a flat mate. Well, he meets this girl Daisy and she needs to leave the flat she’s in because her mates are stoners so they randomly meet and they find this apartment but it’s for a professional couple only, so they pretend to be together to get this apartment, only they’ve just met each other, so they are pretending to be together and they’re complete strangers. And Daisy has this weird friend, Twist, her parents were hippies, and…”

“Quendin?”

“Yeah?”

“Whoa now.”

Quentin blushed and chuckled nervously.

“Sorry, I really like this show.”

“I can see that,” Audrey smiled sweetly. Well, as sweetly as she could with a stuffy nose. “Well, put it on. We’ll make a marathon of it.”

Quentin’s eyes brightened. He got the remote and walked over to Audrey’s bed. Plopping down next to her, he pressed play. Audrey automatically snuggled up beside Quentin and placed her head on his shoulder. Almost as automatically, Quentin readjusted his arm and put it around her. Without a word, they started to watch the show. The only times they moved was for Quentin to put the other disc in for the second season (“Series, Audrey, they call it the second series over here.”), bathroom breaks, and when the room service cart came up for dinner.

Audrey loved the show. The quirky little comments, the twists and turns, and overall the interaction between the characters made her love it immediately. Quentin had described it perfectly; two strangers become fast friends so they could share a flat. He had just left out the awkward interactions with their drunken landlady, Marsha, the bizarre artist Brian who lived below them, Daisy’s blunt and fashionable friend Twist, and Tim’s best friend Mike who was a weapons expert and kicked out of the army. From what Audrey could gather, she was the perfect combination of Daisy and Twist: a little cold and blunt at time, but otherwise fun loving and quirky. It sort of made her feel weird when she realized that Quentin was the perfect combination of Brian’s social awkwardness, but Tim’s random knowledge of everything and cool persona. It weirded her out more that Brian and Twist hooked up, and that there was so much sexual tension between Tim and Daisy that it could be sliced with

a butcher knife.

It was the ending of the show that made her love it even more. Tim’s new girlfriend, Sophie, left for a job in America, Twist and Brian seemed to reconcile, Marsha discovered they weren’t actually a couple and after some explaining let them live there still, and Daisy’s life was beginning to get direction. The last scene though, was what touched Audrey. Tim and Daisy were sitting in their living room cuddling, just like Audrey and Quentin were doing. It didn’t mean anything sexual, just that they had an impermeable friendship.

The show ended and Quentin got the DVD out while Audrey blew her nose into several tissues.

“So, what did you think?”

“I loved id! Id waz gweat!”

Quentin laughed. “I’m glad. Well, it’s all yours now. The only problem is it only plays on English DVD players, so you’ll have to figure out how to adapt it.” He chuckled. “It’s easy to figure out, don’t worry.”

“Thangs. Cang we owduh tea?”

“Sure.” Quentin called down to room service and got them to send up a cart of tea. The two sat in Audrey’s bed sipping, laughing about their favorite parts of the show. After they had finished their tea, a lull had come over them and they sat in a comfortable silence. Suddenly, Audrey spoke up.

“You know whad I loved mos aboud da show?

Da ending. Jusd two fwends sidding dere togedher.

Noddo make too boldof a sdademen, but id kinda weminded me of us.”

Quentin looked at her for a moment. He smiled a soft smile and his eyes had a glint as though they weren’t telling Audrey something. For a moment, Audrey’s heart fluttered. Or it could have been the allergies. But she was sure her heart fluttered. He looked down at her with gentle eyes and put his head on her head. “Yeah, me too.”

*A note from the author – If readers want to see the show Spaced, all of the episodes are available on www.youtube.com. Just type in the name of the show. It’s an amazing show and I highly recommend it!

13

KID’S KORNER

{April Birthdays}

{Artwork!}

Kasiti 1 Isaiah 19 Olivia & Alicia 29 Angelika 30

April Fools Jokes 1.Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

2.Knock Knock . Who’s there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you going to tell me a joke?

3.Knock Knock. Who there? Cargo. Cargo who? Car Go Beep beep.

4.Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no “body” to go with.

5.Whats the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives and a frog croaks every night.

6.What is black and white and read all over?

Jordan Gaskins, age 7

The Newspaper.

{Sound Off Wilson!}

by Deneisha Cauthen and Jessica Klein-Carnes

What is th most memorable April Fool’s joke you have ever played?

Amber Beltz ‘08 Major: Psychology “My senior year of high school my band class played an April Fools prank on our teacher. He had an expensive device that beeped to keep the time while we were in class. We got some old broken recorder parts that looked like pieces of this device and put them in his music stand. He came to class and was upset that his time keeper was broken, then we shouted April Fools!!!”

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Son Joo Hee Exchange Student Major: English “At home in South Korea every year on April Fools day a number of students from various classes decide to swap classrooms to throw the teachers off.

Some may leave and leave a note for the teacher on the board and others may just hide at the school. It is kind of a tradition and all of the teachers expect it on this day”.

Keshie Mansouri ‘10

Dipa Gurung ‘11

Major: Psychology and English “I don’t recall playing a prank on anyone for April Fools day, but if I were to do one now I would play a prank on my fifteen year old daughter Vanessa. I would tell her that I was going to summer school and graduating early.

She would be so excited at the thought of moving back home a lot sooner than planned. Then I would yell sike, April Fools!!!”

Major: Undecided “While at home in my home country of Nepal, I emailed my best friend, who at the time was in America attending school, and informed her that I was being pressured into an arranged marriage in a few weeks. She was became very upset and told me not to do it, she even cried when I talked to her. On April Fools day I told her I was just joking. She was angry with me but relieved at the same time”.

Shaquanda McAfee ‘11 Major: Sociology “I would play a joke on Tamika who is one of my floor mates. In the middle of the night I would cover her doorway with plastic wrap, so when she attempts to come out she will hopefully bounce back into her room and I will be standing right there video recording it all. I call this prank the Force Field”.

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008

ArtsDay2008

Wednesday, April 2

ALL DAY EVENTS Student Exhibition The Student Art Exhibition will be on view through April 25 in Bogigian Gallery, Lortz Hall.

“Salon des Refusés” In the tradition of the Impressionist painters snubbed by the 19th century Salons of Paris, Wilson holds its own exhibition of rejections. Works not selected for the official student show in the Bogigian Gallery, have a venue for exhibition. A Salon of Refusals is mounted in Lortz Hall, rooms 200 and 300, and is on view through April 25.

Haiku Students in ENG 185: Writing about Literature and the Environment have dotted the Wilson campus with haiku.

SCHEDULED PRESENTATIONS AND EVENTS 9

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Steamroller Printmaking with Frida Kahlo Lenfest Commons Esplanade

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12pm

1pm

Brown Bag Art Project Lenfest Commons Lobby

1pm

Free Association Artwork and Journaling Lenfest Patio (upstairs)

Opening Reception of the Student Exhibition Bogigian Gallery, Lortz Hall

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2:30pm 11

11:50am

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Guerrilla Sociologic Art Appreciation with Frida Kahlo Allen Auditorium

1pm 12

Visions of Wilson Today Norland Hall

Cross Critters Sale Lenfest Commons Lobby

12:30pm Taize

Service with Rev. Katherine Smanik-Moyes Thompson Chapel 4:30pm Dance Technique with Professor Paula Kellinger

Dance Studio, Davison Hall 12:40 and 12:40pm Japanese 1

Raku Ceramic Firing Green in front of Edgar Hall

1:30 Sharpe 2

House Tours with President Lorna Duphiney Edmundson Sharpe House 2:45pm Local Architectural

Alumnae Chapel, Thomson Hall 3pm Monkey

Gems with Mike Albert 210 Lortz Hall

Business with the Guerrilla Girls

Hawthorne Arena 5pm Mounted Bogigian Gallery 5:15 Patterson Lounge, Laird Hall Visiting

Drill Team Performance 7:30pm Refreshments

Poet John Gery 8pm

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Classifieds

Billboard Staff

USED SUV FOR SALE

Adviser Dr. Aimee-Marie Dorsten

Staff Writers

1994 Chevy Blazer S-10 (Tahoe model), 4wd,V-6,133k miles, elec-

Editor-in-Chief Kimberly Maske-Mertz ‘08

Heather Dunkin

tric windows, power locks, electric seats, Air cond., Cassette player,

Art Director Go Woon Lim ‘08

Su Yeon Jo

almost new all-season radial tires. Recent appraisal by local used car

Entertainment Editor Jessica Klein-Carnes ‘11

Danyelle Reid

dealer: $3425.00

Sports Editor Nikola Grafnetterova ‘10

Satoko Unno

Asking price: $2500.00. Cindy Shoemaker 264-4141 ext. 3235 or

News Editor Sarah Martin ‘11

Ae Jin Kin

email cshoemaker@wilson.edu

Photography Editor Yun Jung Lim ‘10

Yoo Na Kim

Assistant Photography Editor Jessica Bernard ‘08

Rebecca Cheek

ORCHESIS NEEDS YOU!

Calendar & Events Editor Nicole Twigg ‘11

Xiaomeng Li

WE NEED STUDENTS TO HELP SELL TICKETS AND BE USHERS

Business Manager Iuliana Matalica ‘09

Dipa Gurung

AT THIS SEMESTERS PREFORMANCES

Staff Photographer

Ji Youn Lee

ON APRIL 11 AND 12

Deneisha Cauthen

Jacquelyn Valencia

WE ALSO NEED TECH PEOPLE FOR BEHIND THE SCENES ACTION SUCH AS SOUND AND STAGE MANAGER IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE EMAIL LEAH AT LSCHULTZ@WILSON.EDU DOES YOUR CLUB NEED TO DO A FUNDRAISER? WOULD YOU LIKE TO SELL SNACKS AT THE ORCHESIS CONCERT? PLEASE EMAIL PAULA AT PKELLINGER@WILSON.EDU WITH A BRIEF EXPLAINTATION ON WHY ORCHESIS SHOULD PICK YOUR CLUB Answers to Movie Quiz: 1-D; 2-E; 3-B; 4-C; 5-A

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Billboard Mission Statement The Wilson Billboard is a tri-weekly student-run newsmagazine serving the Wilson College community. Our mission is to relay important information to the campus and provide a forum for intelligent and democratic discussion. To fulfill this mission, the Billboard recognizes the many goals of the Wilson community and strives to encourage communication between students, faculty, staff, and administration in an ethical and non-biased fashion.

TheWilsonBillboard April 1, 2008