2012 March Parentlink by Rusty Lee

PARENTLINK

THE

a parenting resource from the Youth Ministry @ Winfree

March 2012

SPARK DISCUSSIONS—AND LISTEN Engaging in conversations with teenagers can seem tricky or downright impossible at times. But it’s easier when you learn to ask the right questions. Moving past simple “yes or no” questions and listening without judging helps create an open atmosphere in which discussions can flow naturally. In his “Jesus-Centered Ministry” presentations, author Rick Lawrence shares a more proactive, penetrating, and “unlocking” way to pursue teenagers and get them to open up. His “shameless persistence” approach is based on how Jesus pursued people over and over—and how he still pursues us today. This approach uses questions that are:  Surprising—The person doesn’t see the question coming.  Specific—It’s a question about one specific thing, not multiple issues.  Personal—It asks for a personal response, not a general or rhetorical one.

Examples include “What’s something about yourself that you secretly admire, and why?” “Why are you drawn to the friends you have?” and “When you’re really worried, what helps you feel at peace again, and why?” Pursuing your teenagers this way may seem awkward at first, but the more you do it, the more you’ll be able to unlock authentic places in kids’ lives…and the more fun you’ll have learning what makes them tick.

Rusty’s Ramblings To quote David Dark from “The Sacredness of Questioning Everything”; “The freedom to question is both indispensable and a sacred practice that is absolutely vital to the health of our communities.” I’m learning this daily in my own house of little question-askers! TBH—The consistent barrage of who, what, when and how from the inquisitive ones can be frustrating! Yet, its how we all learn and grow; by discipleship. For decades, youth ministry has told kids what they should believe and not to question things. I hope we can shift paradigms to a place of healthy discussion about a life lived for Christ. Maybe we can learn something from each other? God Bless ~ Rusty

TIPS >>> Youth minister Kent Julian offers these thoughts about great questions:

PONDER THIS 

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They help you listen well, which is the most important principle of good communication.  They show genuine concern for the other person.  They make others recognize their importance.  They turn listeners into learners and help learners see the bigger picture. Here are some steps that have helped me boost my question-asking skills: I ask my family a lot of questions, especially at dinnertime. Examples include “What was the best thing about your day?” and “How is [name] doing

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I always ask special questions on birthdays and holidays. “What was the best thing about this past year?” “What was the most difficult thing about it?” “What are three things you hope to accomplish or experience next year?” “How can I be a better parent [or spouse] next year?” I turn to question-filled resources, available from youth ministry publishers. Another great resource is a youth devotional Bible that’s filled with in-depth questions about God, faith, and how we apply our beliefs to our lives. —Group magazine

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In your efforts to converse with your teenagers, what strategies have been effective or ineffective?

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What changes in your questionasking and listening styles might you be able to experiment with?

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How can you use everyday interactions with your teenagers to convey your love for and interest in them?

“SENSE” A GOOD CHAT Expert Insights for Parents of Teenagers By Gregg Farah Creatively applying the five senses helps turn an awkward moment into a positive, lasting memory. Use these ideas as a springboard for significant dialogue. TASTE: Share a meal. Food relaxes people. It’s much easier to discuss important things when you’re talking over lunch, sipping a Coke, or walking while eating ice cream. Use the sense of taste as an excuse to meet, and take advantage of the focused attention you get and can give over a meal. TOUCH: Share an activity. The sense of touch is simply a reminder that doing an activity with a young person is a terrific discussion starter. Talk

about the activity (your knowledge of it, how long you’ve been doing it, etc.) and then go deeper. The time spent engaging in a mutually enjoyable activity makes discussion easier.

the real issues. In doing that, you’re better able to ask direct questions that deal with the heart of the issue. Teens, when approached with right motives, appreciate honesty.

HEAR: Share encouragement. Use your sense of hearing to encourage your teenager by highlighting something he or she said or did. Statements such as “I heard that you…” or “I thought you made a great point when you said…” communicate value and worth. Once you share your encouragement, build on the conversation.

SEE: Share a dream. A young person’s vision for the future reflects his or her self-worth. Ask your teenager about goals. Start with one-year goals and move to five- , 10- , and 20year goals. Challenge kids to consider what they want said about them at their funerals. Share your excitement with your teenager’s goals and use them to delve into related topics.

SMELL: Share a direct question. This is a bit of a stretch, but “sniff out”

—SimplyYouthMinistry.com

RESOURCE JCQ’s:150 Jesus-Centered Questions (Group Publishing) offers loads of surprising, in-depth questions about Jesus that will help young people grow in their desire to know him better.

BIBLE FOCUS Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6

Upcoming Stuff An idea to prepare ourselves during the season of Lent:

Study, Skip & Share

Skip a meal...or several meals and then... Share the money as an offering to Winfree missions.

Study using a personal Daily Lenten Devotion http://www.youversion.com/reading-plans/40-days-of-lent

Winfree group for sharing reflections: http:/bible.us/e/Iez

April 6, 2012

(or Way of the Cross; in Latin, Via Crucis; also called the Via Dolorosa or Way of Sorrows, or simply, The Way)

1 - 6 pm

These experiences find their roots in the earliest pilgrims to Jerusalem, who would walk the “Via Dolorosa” as it had been reconstructed there. During the Middle Ages, however, it became impossible for pilgrims to make this journey, and a “spiritual” Way of the Cross became increasingly popular. We pray that you will find your heart transformed by this guided experience.

Join us on Good Friday, April 6 anytime between 1 – 6 pm in the Sanctuary for a truly unique worship experience.

Can you serve an hour on Good Friday?

March 30 - April 1, 2012 Winfree is hosting 250 people for this CBF of Virginia annual event. We need your help: • Can you be a “host home”? Our own students need a place to “stay together” for the weekend. Out-of-town students will be in a hotel, but we want our kids to congregate as well. If you can provide floor space, showers and transportation, please contact Wanda Lang at 794-2664 or wandalang@hotmail.com. • Can you be a “Site Champion”? We need adults who can facilitate a work crew on Saturday for the mission sites where we will be working. Site Projects will take place from 9 am 4:30 pm. • Can you be “hospitable”? We need to show our visitors the Winfree family love; we need people who can help out by being on campus to direct, guide and assist visitors. We need: Greeters: To welcome people as they start arriving Friday afternoon, March 30 around 4 pm. Meal Helpers: To assist with our BBQ dinner Friday night; help with making lunches Saturday; and help with supper Saturday night. On that Sunday, Winfree will host an 8:30 am worship service for the participants before they return home. Can you help? Contact Rusty Lee at 564-4441 or winfreeyouth@gmail.com.

July 15-20 June 24-30

MARCH 2012 Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thurs 1

Have you made your $50 deposit for Passport & Impact this summer?

Fri 2 6PM - bring $5 Middle School Game Night

Sat 3

Led by Kurt Stanfield

Spots are filling up quickly! 4 “LIVE” Small Groups @ 11

7 Supper @ 5:45

The Gathering @ 5:30 till 7:30

11 “LIVE” Small Groups @ 11

14 Supper @ 5:45

(5:30 - 8 pm)

Fundraiser at Chick-fil-A (located off Huguenot Rd. near Best Buy & Lowe’s)

DST Begins The Gathering @ 5:30 till 7:30 18 “LIVE” Small Groups @ 11

21 Supper @ 5:45

The Gathering And Parent Meeting @ 5:30 till 7:30

25 “LIVE” Small Groups @ 11

28 Supper @ 5:45 Sign up in the office

The Gathering @ 5:30 till 7:30

Any and all questions, comments, and especially praises can be directed to Rusty Lee by; phone, 564.4441, email, winfreeyouth@gmail.com or in person.