Duality

duality FORMING A CONTRAST BETWEEN TWO CONCEPTS a personal narrative by susan mara fireside

would you know sound

whithout silence?

Are we defined by our experiences, or by how we react to them? Can we be material and spiritual? Can we be black and white?

The Chinese symbol yin and yang has been used to show how opposite or contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent.

While some things like race or gender can’t be changed (for the most part), it seems like our whole lives we try to fit into a defined idea of who we are. Maybe it’s so others can feel more comfortable, maybe it’s so we know our place in the universe.

Many dualities (light and dark, fire and water, life and death) are thought of as physical manifestations of the yin-yang concept.

My whole life I’ve always felt more than just an either or. As I experience life, people, and grow, I’ve changed. I want different things. I appreciate different things. My priorities have shifted. What I would have considered awful in my twenties I might see as a small bit of heaven as I approach my fifties.

I’d like to think that we can’t have one without the other.

wabi sabi

modern

urban

suburban

material

spiritual

sound

silence

more

less

Wabi sabi is

flea markets / not warehouse stores aged wood / not Pergo rice paper / not glass

Wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay, and death. It brings appreciation for dignified, graceful aging: worn cobblestones, weathered wood, oxidized silver. It’s a philosophy that reveres age, imperfection and natural order.

wabi sabi I grew up going antique shopping with my parents. I loved the idea of going treasure hunting and finding beautiful antiques that had character and seemed very different than what you could buy at a department store.

As an adult, and someone who considers themselves a conscious consumer, I appreciate the craft that can go into making an object.

Maybe it’s because we are all aging that I appreciate the character that one gets from having lived.

As I was studying zen principles of design, I came across the philosophy of wabi sabi. These philosophical insights are familiar: the recognition of duality as illusion, the clinging to ego and the material world as leading to suffering, the fear of death precluding a fulfilling life, the appreciation of life’s evanescence as a prompt to living in harmony with nature.

I found a connection to a concept that has influenced my interior design aesthetic. In my house, we have also turned the phrase into a verb, for when our giant dog damages something. “He’s wabi-sabiing the house.” Reinforcing the idea that a house that feel like someone has lived there is a house that is a home.

C h aract e r i s t i cs o f t h e wabi /sabi aesthetic in clud e as y m m e t ry /as p e r i t y / roughness o r irregularity / s i m p l i ci t y / e co nom y / austerity / mo d esty / intimacy an d ap p r e ci at i o n of t h e i ngen uo u s in tegrity o f natural ob je ct s and p r oce s s e s .

In Europe, after the end of World War I, design collectives such as De Stijl, the Bauhaus and the International Style advanced the notion of “form follows function,� a strippeddown philosophy, which suggests that the best designed product is one which most successfully and economically serves its purpose.*

modern I am obsessed with modern design. Most notably, the work created by Charles and Ray Eames. As husband and wife, they were inspirational in the way they played with lines, textures, materials, and different mediums.

Not limited to a specific area of study, they were graphic designers, textile makers, filmmakers, furniture designers, and more. They represent an unending curiosity to create and think about ideas in new ways. Their work is beautiful and accessible at the same time.

Despite my appreciation of natural materials it is their fiberglass and metal work that I am most drawn to. I love how they’re able to create unexpected shapes and play with color and materials to create pieces that stand the test of time.

Crime reports in Rogers Park Jan. 25 - Feb. 24, 2014*

DOES CRIME PAY? VIOLENT

PROPERTY

Robbery 7 Battery

4

Assault 2 Homicide

1

Sexual Assault

4

QUALITY-OF-LIFE

Theft

36

Criminal damage

17

Burglary

15

Narcotics

20

Motor Vehicle Theft

5

Prostitution 0

Arson 0

Urban Pioneers is a term used for people who move into neighborhoods on the verge of gentrification. For less money, you move in with the hopes that the neighborhood will change by bringing in new residents and new businesses. There’s no guarantee.

* http://crime.chicagotribune.com/chicago/community/rogers-park

Urban In the course of almost 20 years, I lived in many different neighborhoods in Chicago. From Lincoln Park in my twenties, to Lincoln Square in my 40’s.

One night while living in Rogers Park, I woke up at 2 am. Something loud had startled me. I went outside and heard the sound of a policeman on a megaphone shouting for me to get back inside. I woke my husband up and together we sat in our duplex and watched as a standoff on our street was happening. Helicopters hovered over our building. Our street was blocked off. We wouldn’t find out until later that day that a drug deal had gone bad in the building across the street. Someone had been shot and taken hostage, only feet from where my daughter slept.

The next month our condo went on the market. We moved out of our neighborhood and into another one. Better. Cleaner. Safer. In the city, that might only be a few blocks away, but it feels like a different world.

The difference was like black and white.

Highland Park, Illinois*

42°10′57″N 87°48′25″W Median home price

$ 600,000

Median family income (per year)

$ 148,131

Median age 42.8 Completed at least some college 83.1%

I grew up on the North Shore. It’s a place of extreme wealth. If you’ve grew up in a “certain period” you might know the films made here. Risky Business, Home Alone, The Breakfast Club. All portraying an upper middle class lifestyle that for most is unattainable. When you’re surrounded by it, you forget that not everyone lives this way.

If you move away, you get a much better idea of how the rest of the country lives.

*http://money.cnn.com/magazines/moneymag/bplive/2008/snapshots/PL1734722.html

suburban I live in the suburbs. A place I made fun of until about three years ago, saying I would never live there. I judged my friends and families for moving out of the city. I thought they weren’t cool. “You can raise a kid in the city” I would say. And for 5 years, my husband and I did. It wasn’t the school system that brought us here. We lived in a great neighborhood and my daughter was going to a magnet school.

The ultimate irony is that we ended moving back to the suburb where we both grew up, minutes away from our parents. We came for the same reason that so many others move to the suburbs. We could get a house with a yard, and get dogs. It took us two years to buy a lawn mower, and I still have my Chicago driver’s license. I suppose I’m not quite ready to admit we made the move.

Can you put a price on love?

Couples pay an average of $4,000.00 for an engagement ring.*

Rabbis say that a wedding band should be made of plain gold, without blemishes, decoration, or breaks in the ring. The continuity of the ring promotes the hope for an everlasting union and the lack of ornamentation (i.e. diamonds) signifies the simple beauty that comes from marriage.

*http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/your-money/with-engagement-rings-love-meets-budget.html?_r=0

material In an advertising campaign in the 1930’s the diamond company De Beers hired an ad agency to come up with an idea to help sell diamonds.

By tying love to diamonds, it became the symbol for engagement, something that men felt obligated to do. It became a symbol of love, and also a symbol of wealth for the man depending on how large and nice a ring he gave his fiancée. In the 80’s the same writers came up with a campaign to tie the cost of an engagement ring to two month’s salary.

I got married in my mid 30’s. Not one for tradition, I actually received a beautiful ring from my husband, and while it’s lovely, many times I wish I could trade it in for a vacation. To me, it’s not a symbol of our marriage, my wedding band is.

My husband has the Hebrew script above tattooed on his arm. It means I am my beloved and my beloved is mine. It’s from Solomon, Song of Songs in the Old Testament. Jews aren’t supposed to get tattoos or alter their body in any permanent way.

It used to be that you couldn’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery if you had a tattoo.

Modern times have changed that. Which is good, because I have five.

Yoga means to yoke. Connecting ourselves mentally, physically and spiritually.

Yoga originated in India, the same place as Buddha. When most think of The Buddha, they think of Sidhartha, the prince that gave up his kingdom when his son was born in order to understand human nature, why we suffer, and eventually to find his way to enlightenment.

Spiritual In most of Western society, yoga is often thought of as a physical practice, involving strange twisting and balancing of the body. The reality is that it is 1 of 8 limbs, or branches. Asana, the physical, is what most people think of. However, like other belief systems, it involves laws of behavior and action. Lessons on right and wrong, and guides on how to live your life can all be found off the mat. After 7 years of practicing 3 times a week, studying with various teachers, and practicing a more mindful way of living, I like to say that I’ve gone from a type A personality to a Type A minus.

“ Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one’s being, from bodily health to self realization. Yoga means union - the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul.

Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day to day life and endows skill in the performance of one’s actions.”

— B.K.S. Iyengar

“If music be the food of love, play on.”

William Shakespeare

Music and mood are closely interrelated — listening to a sad or happy song on the radio can make you feel even more sad or happy. However, such mood changes not only affect how you feel, they also change your perception. For example, people will recognize happy faces if they are feeling happy themselves.*

*http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110427101606.htm

Sound

I used to live on Addison and Southport. If you’re not familiar with those streets, it’s just blocks away from Wrigley Field. Tens of thousands of people would pour into the neighborhood during the summer to watch a baseball game, get drunk, loud and rowdy. Wrigley was there long before I moved there, and I knew what I was getting into. Despite living on a busy city street, I rarely heard anything. It became background noise, if anything.

Often times I found the sounds of the city comforting, not realizing that I had gotten so used to the noise that when I traveled I found I couldn’t sleep. It was too quiet.

Misophonia – literally the hatred of sound – can be defined as a hypersensitivity to background sounds or visual stimuli that are generally ignored by other people.*

The Japanese symbol for silence. *http://misophonia.com/symptoms-triggers/

silence

I’m incredibly sensitive to sound. I often work in complete silence. The quieter it is, the more I can concentrate. While everyone works differently, I find that the less external noises I hear, the more engrossed I am in what I am doing.

“ only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.”

Kushandwizdom

How big is a house?

New home size around the globe in square feet.

Hong Kong

484

Australia

2303

Russia

614

United Kingdom

818

Denmark

1475

Italy

872

Japan

1023

Germany

1173

Spain

1044

Frane

1206

Sweden

893

Greece

1356

Canada

1948

China

646

United States

2164

Long before U.S. consumers racked up $11.3 trillion in aggregate debt, people used to save money for things they actually needed.

In the age of plenty that followed World War I, corporations countered the threat of overproduction with a manipulative psychological strategy. “We must shift America from a needs, to a desires culture,” wrote Paul Mazur of Lehman Brothers.

“People must be trained to desire, to want new things even before the old had been entirely consumed. We must shape a new mentality in America. Man’s desires must overshadow his needs.”*

*http://www.businessinsider.com/birth-of-consumer-culture-2013-2

MORE I always felt I should only take what I need. What I would use. I like the idea of conscious consumerism, although I’d be a hypocrite to say that I didn’t appreciate a beautiful estate. How much stuff do we need? How much space do we have to take up?

When I lived in the city, I was used to small spaces. Everyone was. Now, you come to the suburbs, and people have three car garages. I’m just happy I don’t have to spend twenty minutes looking for a parking space.

e t do i , use pent r o s ant time w er n the g n i o lo only n e if ff w ore, m.* u t s m e n to thing ting th o e d hol s som empla e t w en cost u d con h W ed n e ga n d i n z i ani g r o

New studies of consumption and happiness show, for instance, that people are happier when they spend money on experiences instead of material objects, when they relish what they plan to buy long before they buy it, and when they stop trying to outdo the Joneses.*

*http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/13/you-probably-have-too-much-stuff/ **http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/08/business/08consume.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

s

less

There’s a trend going on ever since our economy started to slide. Consumers are gravitating more toward experiences rather than possessions. I see it with my friends and family. We’re staying in more, playing more games, and camping.

It’s not about the expensive dinners at overpriced trendy restaurants. It’s about being with the people you love. It’s about creating memories,not accumulating possessions.

As a minimalist, I believe less is more, bigger does not always mean better.

Except when it comes to bathrooms. We only have one in our tiny house.

I am a huge fan of decluttering. I don’t like a mess, it makes me feel that things are out of control. I’m also a huge fan of purging items on a seasonal basis and giving them to someone who might have a use for them.

Why do you own what you own?

What could you get rid of and not miss?

Do I really still need that?

What is it costing me to own that?

could you know black

without white?

“At our core we’re made of light, and the only way light can exist is in the context of darkness...

Without darkness there is no light.” — Ben Ralston