Wire Magazine Issue #18, 2012: Lily Tomlin by Wire Media Group

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ISSUE #18 | 05/03/12

Wednesday, May 9, 2012 GALLA (Gay & Lesbian Lawyer’s Assn.) Luncheon — Downtown

MDGLCC/GALLA presents its monthly networking program tailored for attorneys, judges and legal professionals held on the middle Wednesday of each month. Morton’s Steakhouse at 1200 Brickell Avenue. Registration 11:30am with luncheon/networking from noon to 1:30 pm. Cost: MDGLCC members ($35), Potential Members ($50, $10 applied to new MDGLCC membership). Includes seated style lunch limited to 20 persons.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012  Sandpipers Networking Event — Beach Location

MDGLCC presents its monthly networking program held on the middle Wednesday of each month. This month’s location is West Avenue Cafe, 929 West Avenue #3, Miami Beach. A cocktail networking event and business card exchange with drawing for prizes 5:00pm-7:00pm. Offering half price wine, beer and appetizers all night beginning with a complimentary wine tasting - limited to 50 persons. Free admission. Please bring a friend. RSVP requested: 305-673-4440 or mdglcc@bellsouth.net

LGBT Visitor Center Activities 1130 Washington Avenue • Miami Beach, FL 33139 03 MAY

09 MAY

MGLFF RECEPTION/ SCREENING & WOMEN’S ART EXHIBIT Thursday, May 3, 2012 7:30 – 10:00 p.m. Reception 7:00 p.m. “What Women Like: A Shorts Program” 9:30p.m. “What Men Want: A Shorts Program” Screenings at the Miami Beach Cinematheque Purchase Film Tickets @ www.mglff.com

INTRODUCTORY SESSION TALK: LIVING A B.O.L.D LIFE Wednesday May 9, 2012 7:30-9:00 p.m. $5.00 Donation Requested Upon Arrival More info @ http://www.jeanettemelian.com

14 MAY

TRANSYOGA - YOGA CLASS

22 MAY

PINK FLAMINGO CERTIFICATION TRAINING

Mondays, May 14 & 21 6:30p.m. to 8:00p.m. Sliding scale donation $10 - $15 Space is limited - RSVP to guacci13@gmail.com

Tuesday May 22, 2012 6:00-8:00 p.m. Reservations required – 305.673.4440

For more information on the LGBT Visitor Center activities or to reserve the space for YOUR event please call 305.397.8914 or email cindy@gogaymiami.com

THE NEW GOGAYMIAMI.COM HAVE YOU SEEN IT YET? Your advertisement can be seen here…. Lock in your introductory rates now! For web banner advertising – please contact cindy@gogaymiami.com limited opportunities available. Coming soon….. The LGBT Visitor Center Gift Shop – Stay tuned!!

Stop by and visit us

THERE’S ALWAYS FREE WIRELESS ACCESS AT THE LGBT VISITOR CENTER

EDITOR IN CHIEF’S NOTE WWW.WIREMAG.COM COMING SOON “I got it!” Those were my overjoyed words when I called Jesse Spencer, my associate publisher at Wire Magazine, to share the great news that I had won the auction to purchase a new Internet address for Wire Magazine. I was ecstatic! Now we have a new and permanent home on the World Wide Web for Wire Magazine and Wire Media Group to showcase our upcoming new portal for the gay community. I purchased Wire Magazine three years ago with a dream to build a media group. Wire Media Group LLC was born to acquire the assets of Wire Magazine – “The Wire,” as many people still refer to the longest running weekly publication in South Beach and the best lifestyle publication for the gay community in South Florida. I have been able to achieve many milestones along this three-year journey with the help of my team, such as the recent publication of Wire Magazine with a glossy cover for special issues, getting over 175,000 hits on one of my YouTube videos on our Wire Media Group channel, the rapid growth of our Facebook and Twitter, the expansion of our distribution in both Miami and Fort Lauderdale, having so many famous celebrities grant Wire interviews for cover stories, etc. etc. For three years I have been trying to find the best possible Internet address for our brand to house a new Internet portal for the gay community. Well my friends, patience is a virtue and it is sometimes well rewarded. Since Wire Magazine is a weekly publication, I created our www.wireweekly.com Internet address as the best possible available alternative at the time to bring you our magazine, photos, and content online – the URL our readers currently see in our logo and on the cover of the magazine. However, I always wanted a better URL that was more closely aligned with our Wire Magazine brand name. This week I am very proud to formally announce that www.wiremag.com will become our new Internet home under a powerful, short, easy to remember URL for Wire Magazine and Wire Media Group. Please stay tuned over the next few weeks as we remind everyone that www.wiremag.com is coming! This summer we will launch a new portal for the gay community to bring you tons of great content, photos, videos, special deals, events information, products and services, and much more. We are developing our new www.wiremag.com website with you, our readers, in mind. It will be a living, breathing community that will grow and be enhanced over the coming months, just as we have grown and improved Wire Magazine in print by adding new writers and ample new content since the beginning of the year. In closing, I want to thank every one of you for your continued support. I also want to encourage you to visit us often when we unveil the new www.wiremag.com. Cheers, Rafa Publisher & Editor in Chief rafa@wireweekly.com (soon to be rafa@wiremag.com) 4 | wire magazine | issue #18, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

Rafa Carvajal Publisher/Editor in Chief Associate Publisher Jesse Spencer Editor James Cubby Design & Production Director Jose Gonzalez Columnists Alfredo Barrios Alyn Darnay Dane Steele Green Ken Hunt Dr. Gregg A Pizzi Michael Sasser Kevin Wynn Writers Neil Andrew Frias Antwyone Ingram Staff Photographer Henry Perez Official Photography Studio Image1stmiami.com Photographers Javi Giovanni Frank Leon Luis Santiago Dale Stine Local Advertising advertising@wireweekly.com National Advertising Rep. Rivendell Media | 212-242-6863 Editorial Submissions editorial@wireweekly.com Contact Information Tel: 305.520.WIRE | Fax: 786.272.0123 Email: info@wireweekly.com 1541 Brickell Avenue, #2004, Miami, FL 33129 Wire Magazine is published, produced, and owned by Wire Media Group L.L.C. All Rights Reserved Distributed in Miami, The Beaches, and Fort Lauderdale Cover Photo Provided by Lily Tomlin

DINING

BY RAFA CARVAJAL

CINCO A LA MEXICANA Photos Courtesy of www.stockfreeimages.com. Stock Free Images. Dreamstime Stock Photos

n Monday I stopped by Rosa Mexicano at 1111 Lincoln Road for a bite to eat and a nice tequila shot to warm me up from the rain. I was enjoying a delicious Roasted Duck with Mole Poblano Sauce and a shot of Riazul Premium Tequila Añejo when Zach Roof, my friend and Rosa bartender extraordinaire, reminded me that this Saturday is Cinco de Mayo - a great excuse to party, drink plenty of tequila and Mexican beer, and dine on Mexican food.

ell) will become a “cantina” for one day on Saturday for their Cinco de Mayo celebration. A live DJ will keep the party going so you can have fun while enjoying any two delicious fish, shrimp, steak or chicken tacos for $6, plus $5 Herradura Silver Tequila shots and $5 Herradura Tequila Margaritas.

This Mexican holiday commemorates the Battle of Puebla that took place on May 5, 1862. On Saturday, millions of people will commemorate the 150th anniversary of the battle when underdog Mexico, against insurmountable odds, pushed French forces out of the state of Puebla – a Mexican victory celebrated to this day. I want to give you an overview of what several well known establishments in Miami and the Beaches have planned for Cinco de Mayo.

You can also enjoy the Cinco de Mayo Fiesta all night long at Mercadito Midtown (3252 NE 1st Avenue in Miami). Mercadito’s celebration will feature live mariachi music, a $40 sharing menu after 5 p.m. that includes guacamoles, tacos and special sides, and some special cocktails – including a Ponche Zaragoza for $12 that includes tequila reposado, orange, grapefruit, gaujillo, Grand Marnier, and yucateca.

Rosa Mexicano has put together a Festival de Cinco de Mayo at 1111 Lincoln Road in South Beach with an Outdoor Fiesta from 3 p.m. to midnight where you can enjoy plenty of comida and bebidas with your dearest amigos, including guac and tacos on-the-go and special give-aways. Besides Rosa’s House Margaritas, their New for Cinco cocktail menu will include a Coco de Mayo, a fusion of a margarita and a piña colada made with Herradura Silver Tequila, coconut, fresh pineapple and lemons; and The Flor de Cinco, a light and refreshing shot with slight spice and floral notes, Herradura Silver Tequila, St. Germaine elderflower liqueur, Canton ginger liqueur, fresh lemon and angostura bitters. The Cinco de Mayo Mexico Invades La Española Way block party (500 Española Way in Miami Beach), starting at 3 p.m., will include mucho tequila, live bands, mariachis, a DJ, piñatas, and more. Be sure to get your “Amigos” bracelet for some discounts and specials. Enjoy $7 well drinks and $5 beers. Whole Foods in South Beach (1020 Alton Road) is culminating its four-day long bash celebrating its grand reopening with a Cinco de Mayo Fiesta on Saturday starting at 11 a.m. The Fiesta will include face painting, a live mariachi band, and a cake-cutting celebration featuring two delicious cakes. The first 100 customers of the day will receive a complimentary jute bag. You can also learn how to cook healthy recipes at the Mexican-themed Health Starts Here cooking class, beginning at 2 p.m. Dolores But You Can Call Me Lolita (1000 South Miami Avenue in Brick6 | wire magazine | issue #18, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

Viva Mexico!

Visit www.wireweekly.com/dining for more information about great Wired Dining destinations.

COVER STORY: LILY TOMLIN - THE QUEEN OF COMEDY, OR NOT!

BY JAMES CUBBY PHOTOS COURTESY OF WAGNER THEATRICALZ

ily Tomlin has been called the eighth wonder of the world. Tomlin, who has been a major force in American comedy since the 1960s, is an accomplished actress, comedienne, writer and producer who has won four Emmys, two Tonys, two Drama Desk Awards, an Outer Critics Circle Award, a Grammy (for her comedy album, This is a Recording) and two Peabody Awards. Lily Tomlin is a legend in the field of comedy and when her publicist told me that Lily would be calling me for an interview all I could think of was Ernestine, Tomlin’s character of a condescending telephone operator that first delighted television audiences on the show Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, running from 1969-1973.

Lily Tomlin photo by Brett Patterson

I had seen Tomlin in Robert Altman’s Nashville, a film in which she was nominated for an Academy Award. In fact, I had seen almost every film she had ever made including The Late Show, 9 to 5 (with Dolly Parton and Jane Fonda), The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Big Business (with Bette Midler), All of Me, I Heart Huckabees, and A Prairie Home Companion (with Meryl Streep). I had seen Lily Tomlin live on stage in The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, the onewoman show that earned her a Tony and featured a showcase of her many wonderful characters. Like countless other fans, I had seen all of her TV specials. I had even seen her wonderful characters on shows like Murphy Brown, Will & Grace, Frasier and Desperate Housewives. Lily Tomlin is a legend and has been a groundbreaker in the world of comedy. She was the first woman to appear solo in a Broadway show. Her show Appearing Nitely opened at the Biltmore theatre in New York City in April 1977. That same month, Lily Tomlin appeared on the cover of Time magazine with the headline “America’s New Queen of Comedy.”

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” – Lily Tomlin

The Queen of Comedy was going to call me and all I could think about was Ernestine. Why Ernestine? Tomlin has a bag full of characters that have delighted audiences over the years. There’s Edith Ann, the precocious five-and-a-half year old girl who sits on a larger than life-size rocking chair spouting her precocious philosophy on life. There’s also Mrs. Judith Beasley, the prudish and prissy middle-aged woman who dispenses unsolicited advice who appeared in the film The Incredible Shrinking Woman as the nosey next-door neighbor. And then there’s that wonderfully opinionated character known as the Consumer Advocate Lady, a character that has cracked me up many times. Yet, when I sat waiting for the incredible Lily Tomlin to call, I imagined Ernestine would be on the other line. The phone rang and I answered waiting for the infamous “Is this the party with whom I am speaking?” Instead I was greeted by one of the sweetest women I have ever interviewed in my life. Lily Tomlin charmed me from her first hello and I almost felt it

COVER STORY: LILY TOMLIN - THE QUEEN OF COMEDY, OR NOT!

“Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?” LUPE

– Lily Tomlin

AME

MARIE

MAD

an imposition to throw the prepared interview questions at her. How does it feel to be called the eighth wonder of the world? I asked. In a very modest voice, very unlike that of Ernestine, she replied, “that’s a bit inaccurate don’t you think?” As if my opinion counted. I tried to contain myself but I couldn’t and I started to rave about how much I loved her and how wonderful I thought she was and I thanked her for the many years of joy she had given me and she modestly said, “you’re welcome and thank you.” I composed myself and decided it was time to hit her with another question. What’s the biggest fallacy about Lily Tomlin? She laughed. “Oh God, I don’t know. Maybe that I’m not really wholesome.” And we were bonded. Lily Tomlin chatted on like we were best friends. She laughed and snorted. Yes, she did Ernestine and told me secrets, secrets that she had probably told hundreds of journalists before me. We talked about her parents. “I’d go to the bars and the track with my father. I’d go to church with my mother.” We talked about her start. She commented that she couldn’t believe that I was writing the interview down as we talked. She told me about a job she had in her early days as a telemarketer where she would have to transcribe conversations. While I read the transcribed phone conversation I was saddened to think that I would just be sharing just the words of Lily Tomlin and couldn’t share her characters, her warmth, or her laugh. She laughed when she told me she first thought she might go into medicine and was in pre-med when she started doing standup comedy. “It’s funny to think of me in medicine,” she said. Lily Tomlin has been a successful comedienne all these years because audiences fall in love with her characters the way I fell in love with Lily on the phone. Of course, I was already a fan of her talent but that day I became a fan of the person. Here’s an excerpt from our phone conversation. How will your show at the Arsht Center compare to that show The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe? Well, it’s me and I will do several characters. It won’t be a play like Search. I’ll probably do 10 to 12 characters and it will be more free form. I will break the fourth wall and talk…about Miami and life. Will we see any familiar characters like Edith Ann, Ernestine, or the Consumer Advocate Lady? There will be new characters and my classic characters like Ernestine & Edith Ann. What do you consider the highlight of your career? There have been so many. I must mention The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe because of Jane. (Jane Wagner is her writing partner and her life partner.) That was an incredible show because of her and she never gets the credit she deserves. There was also the time I did a fashion show as Ernestine, who was a disaster on the runway. That was fun. Ernestine loves the spotlight.

EDITH ANN

TOMMY

VELOUR

In 1977 you appeared on the cover of Time magazine with the title “America’s New Queen of Comedy.” Are you still the queen? If not, who is? No, I’m not the queen and I wasn’t then. Lucy was still alive. I’m sure there will always be someone new who is better than me that should be the queen. (Of course, I disagreed and she laughed and gave me another of Ernestine’s snorts.) You’ve been a groundbreaker in the world of comedy. What’s on your bucket list of things still to do? What I’d really like to do is to be lying in a hammock and have people bring me food and take me in when it’s chilly. Do you think it’s harder to make people laugh today? People are more sophisticated. Something that’s funny won’t be funny to all unless it’s a leaky spaceship or something crazy. I think if something is really funny then it remains funny. Your characters are amazing. Are they all creations of your imagination or were some of them studies of real people? No, they are not based on individuals. I’ve always loved a range of style. I listened to radio shows as a kid and had to imagine the characters. I grew up in Detroit and I lived in an inner city neighborhood where there were lots of characters. There were so many types of people.

COVER STORY: LILY TOMLIN - THE QUEEN OF COMEDY, OR NOT!

“Don’t be afraid to humiliate yourself. Be audacious. ” – Lily Tomlin

ERNESTINE

courtesy of Tomlin and Wagner Theatricalz

Ernestine is my favorite character. Was she modeled after anyone? Ernestine is everyone’s favorite. Ernestine is certainly not a person. She was created. I wanted to do something on the phone company who everyone hated. Ernestine got off on her power. People sensed something sexual, she would keep everything inside and it would sort of come out in a snort (and she snorts and does Ernestine. I quietly jump up and down in my seat). Ernestine is a great character that people love. I was never as famous as Ernestine. You’ve done some crazy things in your career. I love stunts. When I did my Broadway show, Appearing Nightly, I had Mrs. Beasley passing out doughnuts to the people waiting in line for tickets. That was so much fun. The kids loved it. How do you feel about being interviewed by the media? I’ve done it so long. It’s part of the process. I just talk. I don’t need prep. It’s always the same stories. I love talking. I’m fascinated by people. I could just talk but I’d also like to know your background. Where you came from. I’d love to ask about your mother. It feels like I’m talking to my cousin or something. (We talk a bit about my background and how we both came from Southern Baptist families, actually her mother was religious, her father wasn’t. She started to turn the interview around, asking me questions, but we’ll skip that part.) Why do think people like you so much? When you do comedy people have an affection for you unless you’re not funny. Do you prefer movies, television or theatre? I like theatre best. I like to be live. I live to be on the stage. This interview is for Wire Magazine, a gay weekly magazine in Miami. Do you think you have a bigger gay following than a straight following? I think it’s all mixed together. I was lucky to get such attention at the beginning and got such a big base audience. My audience is filled with all types. Everyone can relate to my characters. What are you expecting from Miami? A good raucous evening. What’s next for Lily Tomlin? One thing is that I’m waiting to hear if a pilot I did with Reba McIntire is picked up. It’s called Malibu Country and I play her mother. It will be on ABC if it goes. I use my mother’s name Lilli May. I’m also appearing as Lisa Kudrow’s mom in Web Therapy, a web series where Lisa plays a therapist. Is there anything else that you’d like to say to Wire Magazine readers? Don’t be afraid to humiliate yourself. Be audacious.

FLIX

BY KEVIN WYNN

UNCONVENTIONAL FAMILY

IN THE FAMILY Directed by: Patrick Wang Cast: Sebastian Banes Patrick Wang Trevor St. John Lisa Altomare Susan Kellermann Conan McCarty

n paper, In the Family looks like the archetypal indie film disaster. The film’s story is gay-cliché: Two men, Cody Hines (soap star Trevor St. John) and Joey Williams (Patrick Wang) live happily in a small Tennessee town with Cody’s biological son, Chip (Sebastian Brodziak). When Cody dies in an accident, the family is torn apart and Joey struggles to reunite with Cody. Another discouraging sign: The film’s credits. Patrick Wang is not only the star of the film, he’s the writer and director as well. One person taking on so many big roles often signifies a resource-poor, underpowered film. And did I mention, In the Family is two hours and forty-nine minutes long? It’s getting great reviews, but two hours and forty-nine minutes? In the Family has all the earmarks of a self-indulgent, navel-gazing, too-long, too-cheap first feature. The film’s first fifteen minutes don’t dispel this impression. Wang lets scenes play out in long, uninterrupted takes. He doesn’t cut to closeups. He doesn’t show reactions. He resolutely places characters at the very edge of the frame. People walk out of shots in mid-sentence. A scene that in any other movie would be played for all its drama – when Joey, in a hospital waiting room, is told that Cody has died – is shot through the waiting room window. The camera isn’t even in the room. We don’t hear the horrible news; we hear traffic passing by. We don’t see Joey’s reaction; we see the back of his head. One might think that Patrick Wang is a film school smart guy who’s seen too many Ingmar Bergman movies, who’s overdosing on Ozu. But then, unassumingly, In the Family starts to work on you. Wang’s gentle, insistent mise en scene, seemingly a grab bag of stylistic affectations, works as a window on his people and their story, and Wang’s characters, by conventional standards a bit underwritten, come to life because we spend time with them, watching, observing. Until we can’t turn away. How well does Wang’s vision work? The film’s ending feels abrupt and conventional; after two hours and forty-eight minutes, there’s still more to learn about these people. You want to stay with them a little longer. And you want to see what comes next from this new, assertively unconventional filmmaker, Patrick Wang. Cinema Paradiso will host writer-director-actor Patrick Wang at its premiere screening of In the Family on Sunday, May 6. The film will also play May 13, 14 and 19 at the Fort Lauderdale venue. For details visit fliff.com or call 954.760.9898. 14 | wire magazine | issue #18, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

WIRED ON THE ARTS

BY JAMES CUBBY

“Lily Tomlin just may be the eighth wonder of the world!”

MAY 3 - 9 CONCERTS

New World Symphony features The Mahler Legacy: 9 as a Wallcast on May 5 at 8 p.m. Free to the public. Salsa singer Kevin Ceballo and his band perform at Secada’s at Magic City Amphitheatre on May 5. Six-time Grammy award-winning singer, songwriter and guitarist Jorge Villamizar performs with friends at the Arsht Center on May 5 at 8 p.m. The R&B group New Edition comes to the BankUnited Center on May 5. Gospel duo Mary Mary performs at Hard Rock Live on May 6 at 7 p.m.

Actors’ Playhouse presents Becky’s New Car, a comedy about the perils of middle age, at the Miracle Theatre May 9 – June 3.

USA Today

DANCE

Miami Dance Festival offers a variety of performances at venues throughout Miami and Miami Beach during May. www.momentumdance.com. Peter London Global Dance Theater Spring Dance Showcase features Jamar Roberts, former star artist with the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater on May 5 at Little Haiti Cultural Center. Dance NOW! and the Bass Museum of Art present The EKPHRASIS PROJECT: Art from Art, works based on the current exhibitions, at the Bass Museum of Art on May 6.

The Greater Miami Symphonic Band performs their 15th Annual May Pops Concert at the Gusman Concert Hall on May 8 at 8 p.m. COMEDY Beach House, the dream pop duo, perTony, Emmy and Grammy awardforms at Fillmore Miami Beach winning actress and comedienne Lily on May 8 at 8:30 p.m. Tomlin performs as part of the Comedy Ziggy Marley performs at Fillmore Mi- Planet Series at the Arsht Center on May 6 at 7:30 p.m. ami Beach on May 9 at 8:30 p.m.

OPERA

Florida Grand Opera presents Charles Gounod’s Roméo et Juliette at the Arsht Center thru May 5 and at the Broward Center May 10–12. www.fgo.org The Haitian American Youth Organization (HAYO) celebrates Haitian Heritage Month with soprano Karine Margron, acoustic bassist and soloist Jael THEATRE August, tenor Jean Junior Vaillant and Arsht Center’s Theater Up Close se- the HAYO dancers at the FIU Herbert ries continues with Death and Harry and Nicole Wertheim Performing Arts Houdini, a play with amazing magic Center on May 5 at 7 p.m. tricks and great comedy about the life of Harry Houdini, at the Arsht Center Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival conthru May 20. tinues thru May 6 with a program that GableStage at the Biltmore presents features over 65 films, video, and other Time Stands Still, hailed as one of the media presentations. Various venues best new plays on Broadway, running throughout Miami and Miami Beach. For schedule, visit www.mglff.com May 5 – April 3.

Visit www.wiredonthearts.com to view the contact information for all our Wired on the Arts venues.

Submissions for Wired on the Arts should be sent to: cubby@wireweekly.com

Photo by Greg Gorman

EVENTS

MAY 6 @ 7:30 pm KNIGHT CONCERT HALL

TICKETS!

305.949.6722 • arshtcenter.org

Premiere of Retro Riot @ Queen Lounge

photos by Henry Perez, Wire Magazine Thursday night Edison Farrow hosted the premiere of his new weekly party, RETRO RIOT at Queen Lounge! Guests got glammed up and decked out in fabulous attire for this retro bash also celebrating Craig Steven’s birthday with outrageous guests. DJ Troy Landon was spinning the best tracks mixing up the decades with music from the ‘70s, ‘80s, & ‘90s.

Friday Night Fun @ TWIST

photos by Henry Perez, Wire Magazine

No night out in South Beach would be complete without TWIST, and Friday nights are some of the best. Guests of all kinds couldn’t wait to get some late night fun with great beats, hot dancers, and a variety of bars for their choosing. “Never A Cover… Always A Groove.”

DAILY GRIND: ON THE SCENE DEAR TECHNOLOGY, STOP FEEDING THE GAYS?

Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival Opening Ceremony photos by Henry Perez, Wire Magazine

BY ANTWYONE INGRAM ow clever of the new-age developer to create a real life “gaydar” in exchange for the gay man’s dollar – as if we really needed additional ways to fuel our sexual appetite. Technology has now given us the ability to play gay Tetris with a grid of torsos and pile them up until it’s game over. I have yet to win. Rihanna may have found love in a hopeless place but she clearly hasn’t met Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt Mobile, Radar, GuySpy, BoyAHoy, Growler (woof), Jack’d – should I continue? While many of us may seem to be a bit frustrated with the “mobile dating scene,” we just can’t seem to pull ourselves away from it. It has genuinely turned into more of a game (slight addiction) than it has a search. At times I feel like Alex Trebek (that silver daddy that hosts Jeopardy) might as well be laying with me in bed so I can shout out “Alex, Muscled Jackass for $200 please!” when I find my next prospect.

The opening night of the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival at the Colony Theatre was an event that will be remembered for a lifetime. The first inaugural Lavender Heart Award was presented to country singer Chely Wright and the Angel Award to former board member, Mark “MarkyG” Gilbert. This year’s opening night film was KAWA, a film from New Zealand directed by Katie Wolfe.

The addiction associated with the use of these apps (let’s admit it together) is a tad bit much. You walk around the house with your gay app, make dinner, have dinner, drive, use the restroom, stroll around the neighborhood, and fall asleep with your gay app still running in your hand (my favorite). If you really think about it, these apps have become more of a burden than anything. I have to block everyone I know, and everyone I think is closely associated with them so they don’t think I’m a whore for being on at all hours of the day. I have to mute every sound effect because I don’t want to get “clocked” in a public environment. I have to choose which gay environment to use my gay app in wisely because in the event you reject or block someone who is less than 15 feet away from you – surprise, they are still there in real life, giving you the evil eye. I argue about minimal things like preference and block more people than I do hook-up, it’s fab. The men “just looking for friends” send you photos of themselves spread eagle followed by an address, and don’t even say hello first. Everyone loves masculine, muscular, dl and discreet gentleman but are the biggest queens, go eat a protein bar – girl. Last but not least, my three least favorite (and one word questions) in the dictionary are now “looking,” “into,” and “party” – all of which make me cringe and instantly block you. I’ve resorted to telling people I’m looking for a prayer group so they leave me the hell alone, and amid all of this frustration and aggravation I have to dodge just to get off – I continue to use these wretched ass applications on my phone. The extensive use of these apps is making gay men less social and more awkward to interact with in person. I think it’s making hooking up and meeting people too easy. The men who still go to the bars argue with app users and say that’s for “the desperate,” but you getting someone shit-faced so you can take them home is so much more different, hush. I love my gay apps but I hate my gay apps, I’m addicted, and there are no visible benefits. I’m not quite sure why or how “gay technology” has consumed me but I’m afraid of what it has in store for the future. Technology, please stop feeding the gays. Next thing you know, we’ll be having sex with holograms, and that doesn’t sit well with my soul. Until then, I’ll continue chit chatting with geniuses who say to me “wow, you’re so close” when we are clearly using a GPS based application, you gentlemen are so bright. 18 | wire magazine | issue #18, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

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DAILY GRIND: MENTAL HEALTH BRING YOUR DAMAGED RELATIONSHIP

BACK TO LIFE BY DR. GREGG A. PIZZI PSYCHOLOGIST ommitted love relationships are important to gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals, as well as to heterosexuals. While not every gay man and woman wants a committed partner, the idea of falling in love and being attached to a special person is common in the GLBT community. Nearly everyone experiences difficulties in their committed relationship from time to time, but some people seem more prepared to anticipate these hard times and respond to them more skillfully than others. Marital researchers John Gottman and Judith Wallerstein have identified certain areas where relationships fall apart and eventually come to an end. Some examples of these problem areas include: • The partners don’t listen carefully to one another. • They have lost touch with each other emotionally. • Though they may live together, they feel as if they are living parallel lives, like roommates. • They rarely have fun together anymore. • They have few shared interests or avoid ‘together time.’ • They rarely share their thoughts & feelings with each other. • Blaming one another becomes common. • Neither feels safe expressing disagreement to the other. • They avoid talking about conflict. • They argue about or rarely make time for sex. • They can hardly remember the time when they fell in love. If you’ve noticed some problems in your relationship, there are self-help books that teach communication and intimacy-building skills. You may also wish to consult a professional to assess your strengths and weaknesses and develop a relationshipbuilding plan. If you want to begin on your own, here are a few specific things you can do to try to bring your relationship back to life: 1. Together, review your expectations from the relationship. 2. Acknowledge the disappointments and hurts. 3. Identify the relationship’s trouble spots, using language that is as specific and concrete as possible. 4. When identifying problem areas, stick to the facts rather than just expressing your opinions. This leaves less room for disagreement and defensiveness. 5. Discuss the problem list with your partner, perhaps having a third party act as a facilitator if you feel it would be helpful. This could be a Relationship Therapist or another neutral third person. 6. Together, design a solution to each problem. 7. Build relationship skills that will help each of you reach the goals you have identified. One or both of you may need to learn to improve your ability to manage conflict or anger, listen better, or be more assertive.

Dr. Gregg A. Pizzi (www.DrPizzi.com) is a Licensed Psychologist, Imago Relationship Therapist, and Board-Certified Sex Therapist. He specializes in the emotional health & wellness of the GLBT community and has been designated by the American Psychological Association as an HIV/AIDS Psychologist Trainer. He can be reached at 1-888-377-4994.

THIS WEEK THURSDAY, MAY 3 ANGLERS: Tonight don’t miss LOCO 4 Locals Thursdays at the Anglers. Enjoy 2-4-1 Well Drinks and $15 Beer Bucket specials. Sit back with a live DJ and enjoy 20% off the menu tonight from 5 – 8 p.m. 660 Washington Ave.

Miami Beach 2nd Annual Sister Cities International Artist Showcase photos by Henry Perez, Wire Magazine

On Sunday Miami Beach celebrated its 2nd Annual Sister Cities International Artist Showcase. The exhibit showcased artwork from 27 artists representing the sister cities of Miami Beach at the Art Deco Welcome Center on Ocean Drive.

EROS LOUNGE: Presenting Latin Fuego Thursday nights! Get ready for an outrageous night hosted by Teresita La Caliente with shows starting at 11 p.m. Free parking and $6 Cuba Libres all night long. 8201 Biscayne Blvd. MOVA: Stop by for happy hour from 3 to 9 p.m., followed by Vanity Girl. Vanity Girl Thursdays gives you gorgeous girls, great music by DJ Zehno, $4 Miller Lites, $6 Finlandia cocktails, and a free Miller Lite when you buy the shot of the week. 1625 Michigan Ave. PALACE: Palace hosts Stiletto Nights with fierce drag shows by host Missy Meiyakie and special diva cast members. Show starts at 6 p.m. Enjoy weekly drink specials all night. 1200 Ocean Drive. QUEEN LOUNGE: Edison Farrow hosts RETRO RIOT tonight at Queen Lounge! Don’t hesitate to get glammed up and throw on your most fabulous attire for this retro bash with DJ Troy Landon spinning the best tracks mixing up the decades with music from the ‘70s , ‘80s, & ‘90s. The party starts at 10 p.m. 841 Washington Ave. SCORE: Enjoy cocktails out on the patio and watch the famous Lincoln Road traffic pass by. Later in the evening Score hosts Pop Fever Thursday night party with fab beats by DJ Daisy D & AJ Reddy paired with an incredible crowd of delicious partygoers celebrating Cinco De Mayo! Get $8 Herradura Margaritas and $6 Long Islands all night. 727 Lincoln Road. TWIST: Don’t miss out on a fabulous night at TWIST with seven different bars, DJ Pride, stiff drinks, and beautiful dancers. And if you’re looking for some hot papis, DJ Adora will be hosting Sabroso in Bar 5! Don’t miss the 2-4-1 Special on everything till 2 a.m. “Never a cover... Always a groove.” 1057 Washington Ave. FRIDAY, MAY 4 JOHNNY’S MIAMI: Get in tonight for Towel Night Fridays! Snag your taste of locker room fun tonight with 30 dancers in nothing but towels. Steamy live shows all night, and private VIP rooms available. Hosted by Josie Love. 46 NE 14 Street.

THE MANOR: Celebrate Cinco De Mayo nearly naked at the Manor with Bubble Gum Fridays Calzoncillos Partido - A Cinco De Mayo themed underwear party! Dress down for this scandalous fiesta as DJs JPS and Daisy D spin the hottest beats with performances by Estephania St Lords, Sasha Lords & TP Lords. No cover for 21+. 2345 Wilton Dr., Wilton Manors. MOVA: Edison Farrow presents HYPE Fridays at MOVA with DJ Bryan Zero. Tonight join

the outrageous diva, Pussila, for her birthday celebration. Enjoy $7 Finlandia and $8 Stoli vodka cocktails all night long. Snag a bottle of Finlandia for $100 to party in style. PALACE: Tonight is Drag Madness with fierce shows by the hot-n-heavy Latrice Royale and her gaggle of guest entertainers! Get ready for the biggest show on South Beach at 6 p.m. SCORE: Tonight the Penny Back Boyz host one of the hottest parties in South Beach, Filthy Gorgeous Fridays, as they celebrate the release of Jennifer Lopez’s new single, “Dance Again” featuring Pitbull. DJ Willy G will be spinning the fiercest beats while Score’s hottest Go-Go boys work the speaker boxes. Doors open at 10 p.m. TWIST: Enjoy a fabulous night at TWIST. Get in for the free Happy Hour BBQ at 6 p.m. Tonight get in the house for some delicious beats and a crowd that’s sure to please. Enjoy seven different bars, stiff drinks, beautiful dancers, and, of course, the only place where there’s “Never a cover...Always a groove.” SATURDAY, MAY 5 HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO! DISCOTEKKA: DISCOTEKKA: Downtown’s Downtown’s only only gay gay dance dance party party delivers delivers one one hell hell of of aa shindig shindig every every Saturday Saturday night. night. This This Saturday Saturday will will be be the the ultimate Cinco Cinco De De Mayo Mayo Fiesta Fiesta with with DJ DJ D-Stu. D-Stu. ultimate There will will be be $4 $4 Coronas Coronas and and $3 $3 Tequilas Tequilas all all There night long. long. Don’t Don’t miss miss the the underwear underwear contest contest night at 11 a.m. a.m. Hosted Hosted by by Vegas Vegas && Athena Athena Dion. Dion. at $150 VIP VIP special. special. Sky Sky and and Absolut Absolut Vodka. Vodka. $150 950 NE NE 2nd 2nd Ave. Ave. 950 EROS LOUNGE: Head over to Eros Lounge for a great happy hour from 3 – 9 p.m. today and then get in on tonight’s Dancing With the Goddess party celebrating Cinco De Mayo featuring music by DJ Valencia at 10 p.m. MOVA: Stop by for happy hour from 3 to 9 p.m., followed by FLASH Saturdays with the hottest music videos and visual entertainment by VJ Chris Racine till 3 a.m. with $9 Grey Goose cocktails all night. PALACE: Enjoy a special day of drag shows, great food, and stiff cocktails, as The Palace Bar hosts Drag Gone Wild with Tiffany Fantasia and her gaggle of performers! Heels hit the pavement at 6 p.m. sharp! SCORE: Don’t miss Score’s BIGGER Saturdays party tonight as DJ Abel hits the decks for Cinco De Mayo and Hilton Wolman’s birthday! Expect the hottest men and most outrageous sounds at Saturday’s largest gay dance party on the Beach. Enjoy $8 Herradura margaritas all night. Hosted by Alex Prieto. TWIST: Happy Hour 2-4-1 with Tommy and the locals from 1 to 9 p.m. on everything. Come tonight for MUSCLE BOY Saturdays and enjoy a full house of hot men and some incredible beats by DJ Mika. “Never a cover...Always a groove.” SUNDAY, MAY 6 ANGLERS: If you are looking to nurse that hangover with some unlimited mimosas and Bloody Marys, look no further than 660 at

the Anglers. Enjoy great food and delicious libations in one of the most beautiful boutique resorts Miami Beach has to offer. 660 Washington Ave. CHALK LOUNGE: Get out of the house with Edison Farrow at SMASH Sundays. Hop on a Ping-Pong table, shoot some billiards, or chill out as DJ Smeejay works the turntables. The party kicks off at 8 p.m. with no cover and vodka drink specials all night. MOVA: MOVA hosts the most scandalous party in South Beach, Out-n-Ugly Sundays with DJ Latrice. Beginning at 9 p.m. with drag shows 11 p.m. – 12:30 a.m. Enjoy $4 Miller Lites, $5 Herradura Shots, and $6 Finlandia. No cover. PALACE: South Beach’s most legendary drag brunch will take place from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. with two seatings: one at 11:30 a.m. and another at 2 p.m. Enjoy over-the-top performances by Noel Leon paired with a delectable menu. Afterwards, check out the sexiest Sunday T-Dance in SoBe with local DJs working the turntables. When the T-Dance ends, the BAR CRAWL begins, take the party to MOVA to finish off the Sunday fun. SCORE: Stop by and test your vocals with Karaoke tonight! Doors open at 9 p.m. Still happening upstairs, HIP SUNDAYS with Club Boi in association with Score celebrates Rye Rye’s new single “Boom Boom” offering a fabulous night of the best beats by DJs Gavin T & Diaz from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. TWIST: Get in for 2-4-1 happy hour from 1 to 9 p.m. & the free BBQ at 6 p.m. Afterwards, see one of the most scandalous shows you’ll ever witness with Pussila’s amateur strip contest. Upstairs DJ Paulie will be working it out on the main dance floor. At TWIST: “Never a cover...Always a groove.” MONDAY, MAY 7 KILL YOUR IDOL: Dustin Reffca presents GLITTER BOX MONDAYS- South Beach’s hottest Monday night party with manic beats by DJ Smeejay & DJ FR8-0 performing live. Don’t miss out on $1 PBR Beer, $2 Jello Shots, & $3 Jack Shots all night long! 222 Espanola Way. MOVA: Get ready to be a star at MOVA’s weekly SHOUT karaoke party with VJ AJ Reddy. Test your vocals and enjoy half priced drinks all night long and $5 glasses of wine. PALACE: RuPaul’s Drag Race may be over, but get ready for the new Palace Drag Race coming to take its place every Monday hosted by the audacious Miss Meyakie LePaige! Stop in for Palace’s 2-4-1 Absolut flavored cocktails all day while enjoying the show, and don’t forget to enjoy a snack from Palace’s delicious menu. SCORE: Swing by for one of the best happy hours in Miami Beach where all drinks are 1/2 price, followed by Video Freak where you can request your favorite music videos and enjoy $5 vodka cocktails, $7 martinis and $3 beers. No cover.

TWIST: Happy Hour 2-4-1 drinks ‘till 9 p.m. Then it’s Arrasando hosted by Marco Perez & Nicholas Torres with beats by house diva Justice Divine. Join Nathan in the Frolic Lounge for signature mix of Pop and Top 20 & DJ Bryan Zero’s fab beats on the main dance floor.

TOP TRAX

BY DJ FR8-O

EMELI SANDÉ: OUR VERSION OF EVENTS

TUESDAY, MAY 8 JOHNNY’S MIAMI: Downtown’s only gay strip club features the hottest, most diverse men in Miami. Tonight it’s all about the hot hip-hop beats at B2M Service Station as DJs TPromix and Surreal turnout some of your fav beats. Hosted by Sushiman & CocoDorm. MOVA: It’s a SINsational Tuesday night at MOVA’s weekly Service Industry Night. Enjoy $50 bottles of Finlandia Vodka, $100 bottles of Grey Goose, and $7 premium well drinks while DJ AJ Reddy works the turntables. PALACE: Stop in for Palace’s 2-4-1 Absolut flavored cocktails till 4 p.m. Better than ever before on Ocean Drive and 12th Street, try it for lunch or a late afternoon snack, or just hang out at the bar with the locals. No matter what you’re in the mood for, Palace is sure to have it! SCORE: It’s Planeta Macho tonight, the hottest Latin Party in Miami Beach, featuring Latin beats by award winner DJ George Ferrero. Watch amazing shows by Miami’s best female impersonators. Check out the dancers on the 2nd level hosted by Teresita La Caliente. Don’t miss this party - it’s South Florida’s Best Latin Party! TWIST: 2-4-1 Happy Hour from 1 to 9 p.m. on everything. Tonight TWIST presents Keeping It Real Fun With Daisy D. Get ready for ridiculous beats and $5 Jumbo Blue Long Island Iced Teas all night long. “Never a cover… Always a groove.” WEDNESDAY, MAY 9 MOVA: Stop by for MOVA’s weekly College Night Wednesdays, hosted by the Penny Back Boyz. DJ Daisy D will be working the turntables, while you enjoy $5 Finlandia cocktails or grab five Miller Lites for only $15 all night long. PALACE: Tonight Palace presents Elite Nights. Sit back and enjoy live music and hilarious comedy presented by the one and only Noel Leon. Sip on complimentary drinks from 8 to 9 p.m. and get through hump day with a night to remember, show starts at 8 p.m. SCORE: Come and spend a pleasant evening on one of Score’s outdoor couches as they host Martini Madness Night. A half-price Happy Hour runs till 9 p.m. TWIST: Sean Brady hosts the Sean Brady Show. Karaoke and tons of entertainment all night long. After getting your jam on, head over to the main dance floor to get fresh with TP Lords and DJ Felix. 2-4-1 Happy Hour from 1 to 9 p.m. on everything. “Never a cover... Always a groove.”

hey say there are three versions to every story – my version, your version and what really happened. And, as we all know, the three hardly ever match up. Luckily for Scottish singer-songwriter Emeli Sandé, she’s found someone to back up her story on her debut album Our Version of Events. Although she refuses to give up her partner in crime, Sandé’s brutally honest confessions make for an enlightening collection of tracks ranging from Soul and R&B to Folk and Pop. Emeli Sandé has been writing and performing her own songs since she was 11 years old. After dominating one songwriting competition after another, her big break finally arrived in 2009 when she co-wrote and sang on the track “Diamond Rings” with British rapper Chipmunk. The song eventually became the first in a stream of top ten hits that opened the doors to collaborations with other artists like Leona Lewis, Cheryl Cole, Tinie Tempah, Alicia Keys and Susan Boyle (yes, THE Susan Boyle). In 2010, Emeli signed her first deal with Virgin Records and started working on tracks for her big debut. The first single, “Heaven,” was an instant hit creating a buzz all over the U.K. and winning her the #1 spot on the U.K. Albums charts this past February. Since then, Emeli Sandé has become one of the U.K.’s fastest selling recording artists, reaching Platinum status in record time. Mostly produced by Shahid Khan, Our Version of Events takes you on an emotional joyride through the mind of a woman in love, pulling musical cues from other British icons like Massive Attack, Amy Winehouse and Sia. The album’s wide spectrum of genres spotlights Emeli’s incredible range and keeps things interesting from start to finish without going to extremes. “My Kind Of Love,” “Breaking the Law,” and “Read All About It, Pt. 3” highlight the raw female emotions that can only be heard from the likes of Nina Simone, Whitney Houston and Lauren Hill. But the 24 year-old BRIT award winner channels them effortlessly and delivers them with a modern touch. The same goes for the more upbeat tracks like “Heaven,” “Lifetime” and my personal fave “Daddy.” One listen to this soulful diva’s addictive vocals and she’ll become your #1 Google search of the week. So let me save you the trouble. The album’s first two singles, “Heaven” and “Next To Me,” are available now for download. But if you want to hear the whole “story,” you’ll have to order the import CD or wait for the U.S. release in June. Get the CD now, thank me later! If you’re a recording artist, musician or producer and would like your work featured in TOP TRAX, hit me up at Alfredo@wireweekly.com.

ON THE GO TRAVEL: IML CHICAGO

SHOPPING BAG HURRICANE SURVIVAL GUIDE STARVATION PREPARATION

CHICAGO

You never know what could happen in a tropical storm here in South Florida. Don’t take the risk of not having much needed nutrition. Stock your cupboards with ready-to-eat foods that can potentially be prepared with no electricity and have some nutritional value. Canned veggies, fruits, granola bars, peanut butter, cereal, shelf stable milk and beef jerky are great items to always have extras on hand. You never know if the local grocery store will be operational in severe times.

ESSENTIAL HYDRATION Precious water is the first thing our bodies need in periods of emergency. As hurricane season approaches make sure to stock up on clean, filtered drinking water. Keep at least a few gallons stored – enough to get you through a couple days in case public water systems become contaminated. Whether it’s in bottles, gallons, or barrels, make sure you have enough ready. BY DANE STEELE GREEN

t is the world’s premier leather extravaganza and Chicago’s third largest annual event. Polish up your leather and buff up your rubber – the International Mr. Leather Competition, IML itself, rips the Windy City a new one on May 25-28.

Surrounded by the sumptuousness of the Hyatt Regency Chicago (so much for being “underground”), things kick off with the opening ceremonies, wherein contestants and judges officially see just what it is they are up against. Preliminary rounds can be vicious: Appearance and presence are taken in to account on May 25 and physiques are tallied on the 26. Those rounds cull the herd so that by the 27, the day of the actual contest, only 20 finalists remain. Judges – and they are puissant – include European import Eric Guttierez, Mr. Leather France and International Mr. Leather for 2011; respected BDSM intellectual Andrea Zanin (aka, the “Sex Geek”); homoerotic illustrator Ira C. Smith; and VP of Marketing & Public Relations for the Nasty Pig fetishistic clothing line, Dave Hughes. For those not in the leather/fetish community, the seriousness of IML, and MrBB, can seem a little “extreme,” but have no doubt, this is serious business. Those who judge the event are roundly regarded as authorities; participants can spend years preparing. In case you’re curious, “leather image” counts for 40% of a participant’s score, presentation another 40% and physical appearance the final 20%. Running concurrently with IML is MrBB, or the International Mr. Bootblack competition. Contestants take up positions in the IML Leather Market at which they perform bootblacking (that is, fetishised shoe shining) and judged accordingly. Winners are whisked off to the House of Blues for their victory dance and the official start of their reign. Things go out with a bang on May 28 with the traditional IML final blowout “sweat disco,” the Black and Blue Ball. Of course it would be called that. For spectators, beginners, and note-takers for next year’s competition, the IML Leather Market – one of the largest leather/fetish emporiums on the planet – runs throughout the competition and brings everyone up to speed on the leather life. There is also the not-to-be-missed roast of Guttierez at the Leather Archives and Museum (yes, it exists) on May 24. Gird your loins for that one. Go to www.imrl.com for more information or contact Steele Luxury Travel to secure your flights and hotel at info@steeletravel.com or call 646.688.2274. 22 | wire magazine | issue #18, 2012 | www.wireweekly.com | facebook | twitter

LET THERE BE LIGHT! A candle fragrance of freshly baked apple cinnamon pie flowing through your home is wonderful and perhaps may make you forget that you’re going through one of Mother Nature’s harsh surprises. But in a time with no electricity, candles – scented or not, become a source of light. Get them when you see them on sale and keep them in the closet just in case! Just make sure you don’t forget the lighter or matches. Also be sure you’re careful when using candles, they can be dangerous. You should always have a couple flashlights with spare batteries ready as well (unless you get the nifty ones that don’t need batteries). Light is essential in a dark storm, and electricity could be out for days. Make sure you’re prepared.

THE “JUST IN CASES” Let’s face it, we live in South Florida and the weather is pretty unpredictable. You never know exactly what to expect in “normal” weather conditions, let along a hurricane or tropical storm. There are many things to buy and actions to take beforehand to make the experience as stress free as possible. Make sure there is a stocked first aid kit with everything needed for any sort of injury. This includes medications, ointments, and bandages. If you have any prescription medications, make sure you have an ample supply. Try to have extra blankets and tarp stored; you may just need them for unexpected uses. Be sure your gas tank is filled in your vehicle in the event that you need to quickly evacuate. Keep plenty of cash on hand – banks may be closed and ATMs quickly run out of cash during natural disasters.