Endure to the End by WISE Magazine

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

FROM WISE! october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

features

2010 October - December Issue

Feature Story///

Never Let Your Past Become Bigger Than Your Dreams by Belinda Kendall

09 12 18 20 31

From The President///

Trust God

by Rhonda Mouton

Feature Story///

Walk in The Light by Cindy Laverty

Feature Story///

You Have What It Takes To Win by Apostle Lonnie J. Hall

Understanding Money///

The Economics of Christmas by Author

Feature Story///

Never Give Up

by Lanie M. Adamson, MS Understanding Money///

During An Economic Recession 37 Investing By Praveen Puri

on the cove r 16 07 36 14 37 26 30

Tips For A New School Year by Dr. Robert R. Neuman Never Let Your Past Become Bigger Than Your Dreams by Belinda Kendall Easy Ways To Save Money During The Holiday by Stephanie Nelson Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Quit : Learning To Endure by Janelle L. Plummer Investing During A Recessioni by Praveen Puri Dare To Be Fearless With Your Teen by Evonne Weinhaus and Cindy Smith Health Is Wealth by Rhonda Mouton

in every issue + From the Founder + WISE Read + Understanding Money 4

+ The Groove + Welcome to the Table + Leading in Spiritual Excellence

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

wise

supports bre a st cancer

awareness.

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

1943

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

FEATURED STORY

NEVER LET YOUR PAST BECOME BIGGER THAN YOUR DREAMS By Belinda Kendall, Radio Talk Show Host

very morning, God gives us new mercy. Some of us have businesses, books, ministries, etcetera, that we would like to start, but we worry about our past. We think the things we have done will cause people not to listen or respect us. What if I told you God allowed it? Some of us have been in training for years for this very season. God allowed us to go through this because he knew we would come out on the other side. It was never meant for us to be ashamed or embarrassed, bitter or mad. It was meant for you to be transparent to help others. If I was addicted to drugs and you tried to help me and never been on drugs do you really think I would respect anything you had to say? NO!!! Some of us are single parents and we had to figure things out ourselves to keep shelter over the children. That information is priceless!!! If you were a liar, thief, homosexual, abusive, prisoner, drug addicted, whore, etc., the lessons and wisdom you have gained, the best university in the world couldn’t teach what you know. In this season, we have learned the American dream we were taught to do, is work. Last evening, my pizza was delivered by a person that holds a MBA. Nothing is guaranteed, except God. People are seeking the face of God like never before. People that always had a job are now trying to learn how to survive on unemployment. But, guess who holds the key to the problem? You do! People are turning to alcohol to calm their nerves. You may have been an alcoholic but you are the only one that can show them where it will lead. Children are seeing their parents become abusive because they can’t provide for their families. You may have lost your family because of addictive behavior. You are the one that can draw the big picture and show them the damaging effects. If you were a thief, you can show people how to protect themselves and the liars are the ones that can teach us to know the game. Homosexuals can teach people who’ve been showing the devil,

you will stop mocking God’s creations. Some of you have been in prison and there are parents who have children, for the first time, in prison. They can’t even sleep, because they don’t know what goes on in prison. You can cause a family to sleep better at night by sharing your story. You have women sleeping with men to keep a roof over their head. But, you are the only one that knows where and how that story will end. Men who have many sex partners can help women understand how men really think. I have tried to touch on many examples people will use to stop them from moving forward. If you are dreaming about starting a business, writing a book, or a ministry, DON’T let your past become bigger than your dreams!!! Now please know the devil will be mad and try to do everything in his power to stop you. You will have people to talk about you, how well you are doing, and bring up your past by saying - I remember when they did this or that. Don’t let that bother you because they are just like the devil when he tries to get us to believe God doesn’t hear us. The devil can’t go back to heaven just like those people can’t back you. They talked about you, mocked and attacked you. They went too far and can’t come back. What would you say if I told you there are people dropping to their knees at night for the answers you and only you hold? That’s why the devil is mad, because he knows if their prayers are answered there is no stopping them to believe for more. The next time you see someone at work struggling, a young man at court, girls and boys lining up to go to the club, someone being evicted, they are waiting on you, because you have the answer. John 15:2 “every branch that doesn’t produce will be cut off”. Never let your past become bigger than your dreams. The people that judge you don’t have a heaven or hell to send you!!!

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Belinda Kendall, Cindy Laverty, Praveen Puri, Louis Lautman, Dr. Robert Neuman, Betty Reynolds, Apostle Lonnie J. Hall, Evonne Weinhaus, Cindy Smith, Stephanie Nelson, Lanie Adamson

WISE TEAM

- - - - - - - - - - ------------------ ----------------------------------- - - - F ounder & Editorial Director | Rhonda Mo u t o n Intercessor | Monica L. Sand e r s Marketing Director | Leah C. Ta y l o r Legal Ad visor | Judge Erania Ebron-Ma r t i n

ART DESIGN & PHO TO < - - - - - - - - - - ------------------ ----------------------------------- - - - Graphic Artist | Andre John so n Photo Editor | Aja G r a n t Photo Editor | Annette We b b

ARTICL ES < - - - - - - - - - - - ---------------------------------------------------- - - - Executive Editor | Celeste H a r t Assistant Editor | Alenya Mo u t o n

------------------------------------------------------------

JOURNALISTS

• Wo r k f r o m h o m e • Li m i t e d o r n e w l y w r i t i n g a n d p u b l i c a t i o n e x p e r i e nc e

MARKETING REPRESENTATIVES • Wo r k f r o m h o m e / so m e t r a v e l • Co m m i ssi o n • M u st h a v e e x p e r i e n c e a n d r e f e r e n c e s

------------------------------------------------------------

To s ubs c ribe or purc ha s e is s ue s of W ISE M a ga z ine, c a ll 866.996.8181 or vis it us online a t: w w w.w is e ma ga z ine .org.

We would love to hear from you. Please send your comments or letters via email to info@wisemagazine.org or WISE Magazine P.O. Box 681614 Charlotte, N C 28216.

Photo of Founder Rhonda Mouton by Jham erria Im ages and Ma k e up by Artist Evie Meadows of Belk Department Store and MAC.

STY L E < - - - - - - - - - - ----------------------------------------------------- - - - Design Consultant | Lana Me y o n

COLUMNISTS < - - - - - - - - - - - ----------------- ----------------------------------- - - - L e ading in S piritual Excellence | Elder Loretta Pe t i t The Groove | Janelle L. Plum m e r Understanding Money | The Hende r s o n Financial Group & Hasan Har n e t t Love and Consequences | Odell Ru ff i n Geopology Designs | Kamonda Phil l i p s PUBLISH E R < - - - - - - - - - - ----------------------------------------------------- - - - Kingdom Life Publishers, LLC 8

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

D ISCLA IMER

WISE Magazine is published quarterly: Jan/March, A pril/June, J u ly / Sept and Oct/Dec by Wisdom Enterprise, LLC. U.S. subscriptio n is $12.97 for 4 issues. International Subscriptions: $25 for 4

issues. Send address changes to WISE Magazine P.O. Box 6816 1 4

Charlotte, NC 28216. All rights and prints are reserved for Wis d o m Enterprise, LLC . R eproduction w ithout permission is prohibited . A request must be submitted to reproduce material contained

in WISE. We use reasonable efforts to ensure all information is accurate and correct at all times. Wisdom Enterprise

does not endorse, assume any responsibility or liability for the accuracy of information or advertising. Either WISE

Magazine, Wisdom Enterprise, LLC nor any other party is

involved in creating, producing, or delivering this product.

WISE or Wisdom Enterprise, LLC is not liable for any direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages,

arising out of access or use of the publication and w ebsite.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. (The Message)

he end of the year is approaching and many people have either given up or stayed in the race. This year, just like the ones before, has brought good and bad. If you are reading this, you have survived thus far. It may not have gone exactly how you planned, but you are still here, so there is still time. This last issue for 2010 themed “those that endure to the end” has come to give encouragement to those that are in between start and finish. In some cases, people have been so distracted they cannot see themselves in a positive state. For others, they have taken a leap but have no idea where they are going. For those individuals that have decided to give up, I encourage you starting today to trust God and keep moving forward to see what the ends is going to be. If you are striving to live a Christ-like lifestyle, the end will be the beginning of eternity. No one ever said living would be easy. If everything was made easy how would you have gained all that you have thus far. Not materialistic stuff, but the endurance it has taken you to go through life’s ups and downs. Did you know quitting is more difficult than winning? When you quit you are stuck between start and finish; starting the process but never knowing the result. I would rather keep moving than be stuck in between go and stop because you become vulnerable. I am reflected on the traffic signals, if you do not make a decision when the light is yellow, to either go or stop anything can happen. Nine years ago, I was diagnosed with colorectoral cancer. If I had not listened to God’s voice that I was healed I would not know survival. If I had given up after hurricane Katrina, when my family and I lost our home and my business, how would I know restoration? There were many times in my life when I wanted to quit, got frustrated and couldn’t see my way, but every time there was darkness I looked up and God showed me His marvelous light. His light came in the person that reminded me of the scripture,” with his stripes you are healed”. His light came from the many people that gave unselfishly so we could have a place to live, food and clothing after losing everything. He has shown his light when someone approaches me to say they have really enjoyed WISE. I cannot and you cannot afford to stop, or give up, there are lives waiting on you. You may be saying I am not anyone special, I cannot touch someone, but you can. There is someone waiting on your smile, touch, or story. Let today start a new beginning. Don’t just hear but listen to God, He wants you to continue moving forward. Don’t wait until the New Year! As the scripture in the beginning stated, trust God. What do you have to lose? Let the New Year be a time of rejoicing that you have already started or continued enduring. On behalf of the WISE Team Happy New Beginning! Happy Holiday and Season Blessings, Rhonda Mouton october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

LEADING IN EXCELLENCE

VISION AND MISSION STATMENTS By Loretta Petit, MBA

ne of the fundamental principles of strategic planning and decision making, include the organization’s strategic vision and mission, (Booker, 2010). The strategic side of your vision should allow for flexibility and readiness to change in a changing market place. The leader who wants to do his best for his organization seeks to make the vision clear (Habakkuk 2:2) and give strong direction to his followers through his mission statement.

GREATER FAITH TEMPLE

Let’s visit them both.

HOST

The vision statement, what is it? It is a statement that looks forward toward the end result.

Inspire the Fire Conference

With Apostle Larry Hill Oasis Resource Centre Norcross, Georgia

Apostle Lonnie Hall

OCTOBER 22-24, 2010 There Is No Place Like Greater Temple Faith

Teachings include: The significance of the Apostle *The Five Fold Ministry * The Gifts of the Spirit * School of the Prophets/Seers/Dream Interpretation/Intercessors* Hearing the Voice God* Warfare * Healing & Deliverance For more information, register online www.GFEXPERIENCE.ORG or call 704 287-5814 2835 West Sugar Creek Road

Charlotte, NC 28262

CONNECT WITH WISE ON

FACEBOOK 10

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

The mission statement looks at what needs to get done today to help the organization reach the end result it desires. Organizations can use both effectively. Vision tells you why you are doing the mission while mission tells you what needs to get done in order to reach the vision. We know faith without works is dead, so is vision without mission – same principle (James 2:20). Many people have visions/dreams that go nowhere because mission (or work) was never put into the process. Your organization should be able to answer the question “what’s your mission?” In other words ‘what exactly do you do’? I have been at seminars for entrepreneurs who could not concisely answer that simple question. They would ramble on and on. Sometimes the answer was so confusing; I believe I purposely stopped listening. Make sure you know exactly what you do. If you are clear and concise, then others who could patronize your business understand if their needs will be met. Here is good food for thought. Sincerely ask yourself “what do we do?” Your response will supply the mission of your organization. “Then answer the question – ‘what will happen as a result of what we do’? - that answer will give you the end result or the vision,” (Humphries n.d.) Seems simple enough, but work on your vision and mission statements if necessary. If they have been created already, then stick with the plan, it is taking you somewhere. Success is in the air. Remember the biblical principle be steadfast and unmovable, abound in your work and what you have worked for will abound for you. Until Next Time! Referenced: Booker, J. (2010). Week 8 Outline. University of Phoenix, Holy Bible (as noted) and Humphries, C. (n.d.) Vision and Mission seven suggestions why you need both. The Canadian Association

WISE READ Read This Book All About Love: Susan Taylor’s Spirit in a book

By Celeste M. Hart Susan L. Taylor, Essence magazine’s editor-in-chief emeritus, shared inspirational facts from her recently published book, All About Love, which she calls her public diary, presented at the Charlotte Literary and NEO SOUL Music Festival, held at The Park, in September. Taylor, donned gracefully in a passionate purple suit, matched the hue of the book’s soft textured jacket; through its touch and reading, her spirit exuberates. She spoke compassionately in dire concern for the African American community’s aggressions, conflicts and successes, as she also executes in the book. “Society’s rules pull us away from ourselves, from who we are, from what’s unique about us, what needs to be heard, witnessed, validated and honored…We use food, drugs, alcohol, sex, material excess and often bitterness to hide our pain,” Taylor wrote. All About Love, published by Urban Books, encompasses her Essence column, titled In the Spirit, and includes ‘real’ personal conversations with Ruby Dee, Johnnie Cochran, Alice Coltrane and Cornel West. Taylor relates to her own heartbreaks, betrayals and struggles as a single mother, writer and Black woman. The 272- page masterpiece isn’t a ‘read chapter one first’ as it could be opened at any point and one can examine spiritual, encouraging two-page stories. Sub-titles include, “give it to God, “what men tell us,” and “I apologize.” All About Love has the makings of a great novel, as it’ll arouse laughter, tears, anger, reflection and peace. Each chapter, like “Family Matters,” “Temple of the Body,” and “Self-love and Social Action” ends with blank note pages for personal thoughts.

Enduring the journey Adversity and calamity, Perhaps pools we could drown in, But to the soldier of endurance These are humoristic hurdles, That does nothing to the spirit – not even a flinch. To this individual, The reward is beyond great. Because the journey, to be completed Yields the fruit For an everlasting faith. To endure the journey, One must prepare Be sure your luggage includes the following… For eliminating moments of despair The Passport of Faith, Standard issue will not do. Fortitude and Tenacity – two absolutes, In conjunction with Spirit of No Limitations, You will reach the destination, Not realizing you made it through. This journey is your own, Tailored specifically for you... So fret not, If you encounter a wrinkle Maybe one or even two. Since nothing can withhold you From receiving the reward, Remain vigilant but without fear, Because great is to the recipient… The individual who perseveres.

Robert J. Jackson Taylor, 64, retired her position at Essence, in 2008 after 37 years, to focus more attention on the National Cares Mentoring Movement, an organization she founded in 2006. As CEO, Taylor is dedicated to recruiting and connecting mentors to help guide struggling Black children to academic and social success. “The most important work in our life is the critical quest to save and secure our young,” Taylor’s message at caresmentoring.org. october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

FEATURED STORY

Walking in

the Light

nticipation and enthusiasm surround the upcoming holiday season. The winter chill brings us indoors to the warmth of the home, and time set aside for family and friends is always something to look forward to. We decorate for the season that is upon us, seek out comfort and we nest. But for many, this is not the case. Holidays and the end of the year are not always kind. Often, there is frustration, depression, and sadness. Unresolved personal and family issues get in the way of the promise that the end of the year and a new one represent. It is not uncommon for people to feel depleted, defeated, frustrated and at a total loss about how to move forward, let alone improve their lives. For many, this season marks a renewed feeling of desperation.

Life does not have to be the way we always see it. We have the power to change the way we exist in the world. How you live your life is up to you. One’s limiting thoughts, feelings and fears all create the life we have. There is evidence everywhere that the Universe is kind, loving and wants us to live in abundance. So, what is stopping us from living the life we dream of? Fear is perhaps the biggest limiting factor in finding and living in our true bliss. What are your thoughts? What are you afraid of? What is your sub-conscious telling you about yourself that sets you up for failure? What are you concentrating on? These are some of the questions you need to ask in order to break through your personal barriers and move into the light. Each of us has the opportunity to become who we want to be, but we have to rid ourselves of roadblocks. Everyone wants to climb higher. Everyone wants to achieve. Everyone wants to succeed. So, why don’t we? The truth is that no one is ever going to make you face your fears and step through to the other side. Until you get fed up with your personal level of success (or failure) or the results you are achieving in your life. Until you rid yourself of your own 12

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

by Cindy Laverty

excuses which keep you from facing your fears and moving to the other side. You must take action to get past your own limiting beliefs and then and only then can you tap into your true potential. The great news is that you can do this at any time in your life. It doesn’t matter your age, your past, your present or the matter of your circumstances. The Universal Laws are always working and it’s up to us to understand them and create the life we desire. What better time to do this than at the end of the year? Instead of bemoaning the way things are; why not celebrate the way things can be. If you can imagine it, you can create it! Do you ever wonder why some people are able to move past their current situation and create the life of their dreams? Perhaps you ask, “Why them and not me?” It begins with a new thought. What we think is what we get. If you spend your time thinking about poverty, poverty becomes your world. The Universe can’t tell the difference between what you might want for yourself and your thoughts. Thoughts have powerful energy and thus, what we focus on is our outcome. It doesn’t matter if you say that you want to live a life of abundance and achieve personal and financial wealth, if, underneath you are living in fear and angst over not having living your life’s dream. It begins with a thought and being open to a new way of thinking and trusting in the Universal Laws, which by the way, are always at work whether we like it or not. We always get what we ask for and what we think about, and it rarely comes to us in the package we think it’s supposed to show up in.

What questions are you asking yourself? What answers are you telling yourself? Ask bad questions and you’ll surely receive bad answers. It works the same way with positive questions. Ask positive questions and you get positive answers. Doesn’t this seem simple? Suppose you are hard on your luck and life just isn’t turning out the way you thought it would, and you begin to question why the Creator has abandoned you? Or better yet, why the Creator hates you and is punishing you? Understand this: Just because you can think up a question, doesn’t mean that there’s truth or validity to it. When you are in the middle of negative self-talk, those negative stories are trapping you in your negative emotional state. When we live our lives as such, we also tend to spend time in the company of those who commiserate and validate our feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. How do we move into the light? Each of us has the chance and ability to live our lives in the light, regardless of what’s happening around you right now. We came from love, we always move towards love (it’s instinctual), and our journey in-between those two concepts is about learning to stay on course and moving towards the light. Stop for a minute and examine your life. Is it what you planned, imagined, hoped or dreamed it would be? When we pause to consider our current state of affairs, we are forced to look at our finances, our relationships, our career, our health and wellness, our lifestyle, our spirituality and our purpose on Earth. Here’s the truth and you may not like it; your current conditions and circumstances encompass all areas of your life, and they are all inter-connected. What happens in one area affects what happens in another. Nothing is untouched. Albert Einstein said, “All conditions and all circumstances in our lives are the result of a certain level of thinking. When you want to change the conditions and the circumstances, we have to

change the level of thinking that is responsible for it.” What this says is that if you want to really improve your life and grow in ways you might not be able to imagine, then in addition to thinking new thoughts, you are going to have to let go of some of your most cherished old thoughts and ideas. You are going to have to send your old story packing. To experience something new, different and wonderful, you are going to have to do something differently. This is how we endure. This is how we move ourselves forward. This is how we leave the victim behind. It’s possible that with this type of thinking you are also going to have to leave behind some people who have been fueling the negativity in your life. The last thing we need is a group of “friends” who encourage our negative thoughts, commiserate with us about how bad life is and fail to celebrate our successes. Think about your past experiences. How do you feel when you are in the company of negative people – even if the negative dialogue is focused on your struggles? Do you return home feeling invigorated, alive, passionate, or do you feel exhausted, depleted and stuck? Negative thoughts create negative results. Now think about when you are in the company of someone who is positive, energetic, alive, on fire, interesting and dynamic. Do you leave that person feeling more positive? We are naturally drawn to people who live their lives in the light. Their energy attracts us and we left wanting more. When you want to change your life, start with changing your thoughts and the people who surround you. Spend time with positive people and you will immediately begin to see and feel the positive results in your life. Negative people don’t like hanging out with positive people. Another point for you to remember is that negative energy is far heavier than positive energy. It weighs us down and once we get away from it, we are immediately in search of the positive. Leave someone who’s

negative and you automatically feel lighter, less bogged down with “problems.” Change your thoughts and change your life. As you move away from your old stories, fears and feeling of lack, you need to consciously spend every day in personal awareness. Moving through the past may sound easy, but it requires hard work, application and practice. “As you think in your heart, so you are.” Proverbs 23:7 As the New Year approaches, find the joy and the magic in the possibility of all the goodness the Creator wants you to experience. It is a beautiful thing and a joy to behold. The world is a blessed place and Universal Love is everywhere. It is absolutely essential that you believe and trust this. As soon as you take responsibility for your thoughts, your actions and your outcomes, you’ll be able to change your life and make it anything you want it to be. We are all meant to live our dreams. Dream Big! Dream like you did when you were a child and then BELIEVE that it can be yours.

Each of us has the chance and ability to live our lives in the light, regardless of what’s happening around you right now. Cindy Laverty is an author, speaker, nationally recognized caregiver expert and the host of The Cindy Laverty Show, the nation’s only live, commercial radio program dedicated to her philosophy that in order to have a functional society, we need to learn how to better care for ourselves so we can care for others. www. cindylavertyshow.com october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

THE GROOVE

Don’t

quit

Learning to Endure : A Word from the Wise By Janelle L. Plummer

Growing up, many of us have learned never to quit. Whether it was a sport, hobby, learning a new skill or most of all school, we were advised from our coaches, teachers, colleagues, and parents to stay in the race and endure.

f we are going to get into the groove, we have to endure and hold out until the end. Although, you might feel like giving in, remember sometimes the test in your life comes to make you stronger. Learning to endure will cost you something young people. Are you willing to pay the price? In an interview with Derrick Hayes, a teacher, mentor, motivational speaker, consultant, author, and now corrections officer who has helped teens become successful in different career areas over the last 15 years, said in the word “endureth” you have the word end. Hayes said in order to be one that endureth you have to end some things in your life. He said, “Endings lead to beginnings.” Nevertheless, Hayes said that teens need to learn that, “People will follow you no matter what you do. When you quit others will quit.” “The time is now when you can make the difference in the lives of others by continuing what you started,” Hayes said. “I did not say finish because education in your life is never over,” Hayes said. As Hayes reminisced about his own life, he said there was a time when he did not endure to the end. “When I was in high school I was a great athlete, so

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

I thought,” Hayes said. “My attitude did not match up with my abilities. The greatest thing happened with my failure in athletics is that it opened up my life to academics and entrepreneurship.” Hayes said he went to college to go to school and not to play football. “As I struggled at the end of my senior year in high school I still needed to pass the ACT to get in,” Hayes said. “I passed the second time and I realized I had not applied to any schools.” After getting accepted to Tennessee State University, he went on to receive a B.A. in Business Administration. “During my freshman year I started a hotdog business with a friend,” Hayes said, “and in that moment I realized that entrepreneurship and education would always be a part of my life.” In James 5:11 in the King James version says, “Behold we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord, that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.” Let us get in the groove! Don’t quit. God has great things in store for us. Remember when one thing ends in your life, God is about to start something new! Press on. Endure. Hold on. Keep the faith. Although your weeping is for a night, joy is coming in the morning! Keep going…Until next time…stay in the groove!

By Louis Lautman

any people who become entrepreneurs struggle in their business because they don’t have the strategies to bring the financial success they are looking to achieve. Others struggle in their business when they financially reach success, because they lack fulfillment or meaningful work. After traveling the country for the filming of The YES Movie (www.theYESmovie.com) meeting top young millionaires and entrepreneur experts, I’ve learned anyone can Be, Do and Have everything desired as long as you take consistent action toward your goals. Dr. Farrah Gray, who made his first million dollars at age 14, shared something very simple, yet very powerful for entrepreneurial success. He suggested these three things anyone can do to be totally fulfilled in their business life: FIRST, ask yourself, “What do I love to do?” Everyone loves to do something. How do you spend your time? Whatever that is, chances are that is what you love to do. Don’t worry if you cannot start a business yet, the important thing is you realize the specific things you love doing. SECOND, ask yourself, “What am I better at than most people?” Chances are you have some given ability or characteristic that allows you to excel in some area. It could be anything, and don’t close off options because you don’t think that ability is important. Are you a good storyteller, writer, computer programmer, leader of people, care taker? If you don’t know or can’t come up with anything, ask those around you. FINALLY, ask yourself, How can I serve the most amounts of people doing what I love and doing what I am good at? Some people will ask this question and immediately get their answer. That answer is what they should be or is already doing. Others will ask that question, not find an answer and give up. Keep asking this question until you find an answer...even if it takes an entire lifetime, because when you find the answer you will experience entrepreneurial bliss that the super successful feel on a daily basis. Some people look at entrepreneurs and wonder, how they can work such long hours and have so much passion? The answer is, they don’t feel like they are working, they are doing something they love, are fulfilled and making an impact on the world...not to mention they are good at what they do…making big bucks. Don’t give up on your passion because when you follow these three simple steps your level of fulfillment will be much greater than doing anything else...and people will wonder why you always seem happy.

Your Friend, Louis Lautman

UNDERSTANDING MONEY

3 Steps to Entrepreneurial Success

A lot has changed in recent months. But the importance of life insurance hasn’t.

Some ideas are smart, no matter the times. And today, life insurance remains one of the smartest and surest ways to help gain lasting financial stability for your loved ones. That’s because with life insurance, the death benefit guaranteed in the policy never decreases. Every policy issued by The Prudential Insurance Company of America begins with these words: “We will promptly pay …” Now and always, that’s a truly comforting thing. So during these uncertain times, don’t delay. Call me today for more information and a free, no-obligation life insurance quote. Hasan Harnett Financial Services Associate The Prudential Insurance Company of America 2701 Coltsgate Rd Ste 220 Charlotte, NC 28211 Phone 704-526-9432 www.prudential.com/us/hasan.harnett Hasan.Harnett@Prudential.com

Insurance is issued by The Prudential Insurance Company of America, Newark, NJ, and its affiliates. Each company is solely responsible for its own financial condition and contractual obligations. Our policies contain exclusions, limitations, reductions of benefits and terms for keeping them in force. Our licensed financial professionals can provide the costs and complete details. Withdrawals and loans reduce policy cash values and the death benefit and may affect any policy guarantees against lapse. All guarantees are based on the claims-paying ability of the issuing company. IFS-A158800 Ed. 12/08

Lifestyle Designer and Transformational Artist serving the world with his innovative strategies for happiness and fulfillment. He is the Executive Producer of The YES Movie (www.theYESmovie.com) the film that exposes the secrets of today’s youngest millionaires and the Founder of The Young Entrepreneur Society (www.YoungEntrepreneurSociety.com).

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

THE GROOVE

arents P or

a new

school

year

—

ay n w t uma h starting e rig . Ne R t r obe for h t Dr. R : y s B tips es c c u ts n e d stu t r o pp

su o t ow

What is the right way for parents to involve themselves in their children’s education? How do you help without interfering or doing too much? “It’s like teaching your kids to swim,” says Robert R. Neuman, PhD, former Associate Dean for Academic Development in the College of Arts and Sciences at Marquette University, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Neuman’s insights grow out of 25 years of working one-on-one with literally thousands of college students, many of them in trouble. His experiences reveal the importance of parental guidance during the middle school and high school years. These are formative years that can have long-term consequences. Neuman says that the right guidance during these years can help teens acquire the self-management skills needed to succeed in college — where students must independently organize themselves and their time, making daily decisions that will affect their futures. (See College graduation rates tell the story.)

Their education is your education, too A college education is a major expense in a family’s life, as well as an investment in a child’s future. Since mom and dad may foot this sizable bill and add debt, parents should actively help their children prepare to succeed. According to Neuman, the key word is “prepare.” Parents can and should help teens get ready to manage themselves, their time, and the learning process long before they get to college — by nurturing practical life skills, such as taking initiative, managing time, working independently, evaluating progress, and solving problems. “These are a few of the self-management skills that lead to success in college,” says Neuman, “and they are sadly lacking, as college graduation rates confirm. Many students discover 16

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

SIDEBAR College graduation rates tell the story The lack of self-management skills in handling the learning process contributes to the nation’s low college graduation rate: only about 35% of students graduate in four years. Nearly 40% take seven or more years or never graduate. Parents have a vested interest in preparing their children for college. Those students who need six years increase the cost of their degree by 50%, an unanticipated financial burden for families and students. Ironically, families are often unprepared for the added expense because a great many of these students earned excellent grades in high school. Yet college is very different — self-management is the name of the game.

they cannot manage their courses in their first year: 25% don’t return to their original campus sophomore year, often because they cannot cope.”

Practice early Neuman has identified a common set of problems that undermines student success in college. His new book, Are you really ready for college, A college dean’s 12 secrets for success — what high school students don’t know, gives parents concrete ways to nurture needed skills in their teens while they are in middle school and high school. Teens practice and strengthen these skills early, so that they are prepared when they get to campus. Neuman compares guiding teens in their early years to teaching kids to swim. You don’t simply throw children in the deep end of the pool and hope that they figure it all out. Instead, you start in shallow water, teaching them how to breathe, use their arms and legs, and coordinate these movements. The same is true for learning to manage and coordinate the independent learning process. You start in middle and high school — the shallow end of the pool — and you coach them, letting them practice until they’re ready for the deep end: college.

on paper. It could change from day to day to fit other commitments. However, study time should be a blackout time for socializing. Avoiding electronic communication takes determination, but teens can do it. And they’re building discipline that will pay off in college where, if they allow it, their time can be filled with non-stop interruptions. • Help your teen create a study area, a place where he or she can be efficient and productive, away from distractions: noise, siblings, music, and TV. • Talk about the difference between homework and study. Studying means processing the course material, not just “doing homework assignments.” Students must retain this knowledge and bring it to college. Mastering/retaining the material takes time: for example, reading and rereading chapters, organizing notes, and thinking about the material. • Reward your student, as you see fit, for self-management efforts or educational accomplishments. If motivating your child is difficult, monetary rewards may work, and perhaps that’s okay. After all, as adults, we are rewarded financially for our efforts in the workplace. • Make school your teen’s responsibility. Students need to learn to take care of their days: manage a busy schedule, work independently, complete assignments, take initiative, and talk to their teachers when problems arise. Don’t fight their battles for them. Rather, ask to hear how they intend to resolve their dilemmas. You might help them finetune their plans, but they should create them. Unfortunately, a great high school grade point is not an indicator of college success. In college, students are given independence and responsibility for themselves, their time, and the learning process. Students need to develop management skills to succeed. Parents can help with these very important lessons. It’s sink or swim.

How parents can help • Help your child control the number of activities that fill his/her days. Guide your child in choosing a few activities that really interest your teen rather than signing up for many that squeeze out study time. Note: colleges look for in-depth participation in a few activities. • Together, set boundaries for afterschool entertainment: when and how much time will be allotted to TV, video games, cell phone conversations, Internet socializing. The Kaiser Family Foundation found that high school seniors spend more than 40 hours each week on such activities. Teens often multi-task, doing several things at once. • Set up a schedule for study — a time that is uninterrupted. Create a schedule

Note: Dr. Neuman’s book, Are you really ready for college, A college dean’s 12 secrets for success — what high school students don’t know is available only at www. areyoureallyreadyforcollege. com. Written especially for teens, the book is an “active” book, using questionnaires, student stories, quick tips, and tactics. Parents can use the book as a guide to help students prepare for college.

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

FEATURED STORY

YOU Have What It Takes to Win By Apostle Lonnie J. Hall, Senior Pastor of Greater Temple Faith

any times you may think that your circumstance is bigger than your solution. You have the potential to grow to a level that is 1,000 times more numerous and reach the ability beyond where you are right now. The gift inside of you gives you the ability to win and to conquer the giants in your life, attacking your finances, health, friends and family matters. Because you have what it takes to win, you should rejoice within yourself. Besides, you were destined to succeed and to be an over comer in life. Everyone has had a Goliath in his or her life, one time or another. GOLIATH comes to defy the fight in you, he will use words to intimidate you or cause fear to come and paralyze you from moving into “A Stand of Victory”. Because Goliath has intimidated others he believes that he can intimidate you. It is important to be gracious and to have compassion during this journey in life and to not be easily distracted. In this season of your life, you cannot let Goliath talk the fight out of you. We must fight the good fight of faith. It’s time to release confusion and doubt from your mind and go directly to your destiny. Experience stillness as you gently discern your next step to winning. Allow your gift to take you to greater places in the upcoming New Year, because you cannot stay in the same place looking for different results. If you are ready to win more in your life, knock down the walls where you are and make room for the gifts placed inside of you. Not everyone is born with a winning attitude but everyone can have one. Our attitude works for or against us. To have a life of abundant living, do not carry into the New Year, old habits of thinking, hurt or bitterness. These are not the qualities of a winner’s attitude. After all, you have what it takes to win.

Apostle Lonnie J. Hall is the Senior Pastor of Greater Faith Temple located in Charlotte, NC. For more information please visit the website www.GFEXPERIENCE.ORG.

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

Photo provided by Jhamerria Images

These shoes were found 46 yards from the crash caused by a drunk driver. Carissa Deason was thrown 30 yards and not even her father, a doctor, could save her.

Photo by Michael Mazzeo

21"

Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk.

october-december NOTE TO PUB: DO NOT PRINT INFO BELOW, FOR ID ONLY. NO ALTERING OF AD COUNCIL PSAs. Drunk Driving Prevention - Newspaper- B&W - 13 x 21 DD202-M-07244-A “Shoe” 85 line screen film at Schawk: (212) 689-8585 Ref#:127970

2010 / wisemagazine.org

UNDERSTANDING MONEY

The Economics of Christmas

By Lynda Harris, The Henderson Financial Group

hristmas means different things to different people. For some, Christmas means the celebration of Christ, spending time with loved ones and giving thanks. For many, it’s a time to get as much as possible from as many people as possible. How many of you have nieces and nephews you have not heard from the entire year? Suddenly, they start calling, around Thanksgiving, just to “see how you’re doing.” For many men, Christmas brings about anxiety and worry about how to pay for gifts this holiday season for wives, children, and girlfriend(s). For retailers it‘s payday time. According to the National Retail Federation, holiday sales for 2009 were $437.6 billion dollars. For many retailers, the holiday season can represent anywhere between 25-40% of annual sales. Have you noticed advertisements are starting earlier and earlier every year? In some areas, Labor Day is the start of the holiday shopping season! Retailers come up with creative ideas to make you feel guilty and left out if you’re not participating in the joy and spirit of them extracting your money from you, all in the name of Christmas. For many people, Christmas brings about uncomfortable thoughts and feelings because it forces you to look at the so called “haves” and “have-nots“. People with fewer finances tend to spend foolishly and excessively. They simply take out their credit cards and pretend. Does that make any sense? Over spending during Christmas has been one of the major reasons so many families are not able to get out of debt. We really put up a front for our friends and families. It sounds awful, but it’s true. It’s just one day Many “finance” Christmas by going into debt that can sometimes take 10 to 12 months to pay off, just for that one day. Others, ruin their credit and get in a financial mess that can last for years. Parents, please stop trying to fool your kids, trust me, they know your economic situation. When you were a kid your parents didn’t have to tell you how much money they had, you could look around and get a pretty good idea for yourself. You knew if you had central air or fans, if mama caught the bus everywhere or drove the family car or if you had a color television in every room or just one in the living room. You knew then and your children know now. You set a bad example by going into debt to buy a lot of stuff you can’t afford just for that one day. Your child (ren) will grow

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

up and adopt the same bad habits of faking and pretending just for that one day. Now, more than ever, Christmas has become big business. It’s not supposed to be that way. And, for my single mothers, do not allow your children to make you feel guilty because you can’t afford to buy them everything on their list. Too many kids these days have an entitlement mentality. They think they are supposed to get everything they want because “it’s Christmas” and that’s what “Santa” does. When I was a child, we named the one item we wanted the most and if we got anything extra it was a bonus. Trust me when I tell you this, rich people spend money like they’re poor, and poor people spend money like they’re rich. Rich people love a deal. Purchasing an item of value at a discount is much more enjoyable than paying top dollar. I personally don’t know any wealthy people that brag about over-spending on items. However, I do know a lot of folks who brag about how much they paid for something. We must change this backward thinking. All the hype and commercials on television during the Christmas holidays are full of words and images to arouse your emotions. And when you allow your emotions to get the best of you, you generally don’t make the best choices. Remember this, it’s always better to buy low and sell high, it’s one of the basic principles investing. Instead of overspending on jewelry, clothes and shoes, consider purchasing a few shares of your favorite retailer’s stock and giving that as a gift. Now, that’s the gift that keeps on giving! Lynda V. Harris Licensed Securities Broker The Henderson Financial Group (704) 749-3830

By Betty Reynolds, CSA Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)® Certified Life Coach

hat is your reason for getting up every day? If you are busy working, you would probably say that your job is reason enough to get out of bed and face the world. If you are busy raising children, you certainly have the responsibility of caring for them as a key reason. However, if you are no longer working – by chance or by choice – or no longer responsible for raising children, often the answer is more complex. That’s when you need to look inside yourself for the answer. As a Certified Life Coach, I often have to remind people that we each were created with unique talents and drives. In other words, we were each created with a purpose – an inner meaning – that drives us to thrive. What drives you? At some point in life, all of us yearn for the answer. Once you find YOUR answer, it can not only give you a reason to get up but can also give you a sense of direction and peace of mind!

SENIOR MOMENT

The Importance of Finding Purpose in the Years Outside of Work

Finding purpose is especially important for people who have defined themselves for years by their jobs or their parenting roles. When those roles no longer fit, many people feel lost. They literally have to find themselves again - or perhaps, for the first time. They need to understand that life’s purpose transcends a job or a family role at a given time. It is bigger than that. Marcia Bench, one of my mentors, puts it this way:

“Life purpose can be simply defined as a calling, a mission, or an overall theme for your life that transcends your daily activities. It is the quality of life you have come to earth to develop, the type of service you are here to render, the segment of the planet you have come to enhance or improve or heal. It is much broader than one job or career; it pervades your entire life.” october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

For years, as a Certified Senior Advisor, I have worked individually or in groups with older adults facing this crisis. They were searching for their significance, their meaning in the larger scope of life. Sociologists tell us that coming to terms with our legacy – apart from monetary terms - are one of the remaining developmental tasks we face in our older years.

Without that type of insight, it would be easy for an older person to fall prey to the 3D’s of retirement:

Through various introspective exercises, I help them on their journey of self-discovery. They come to a greater understanding of their Core Values, Core Strengths, and Core Motivators. This is an essential step for each of us as these components make up our individual inner GPS – God’s Perfect System for us. Think of it as your identity which you must protect from theft throughout relationships, careers, sickness, and aging. Plus remember, that just as you want others to respect your identity, you must respect theirs.

Today, we have been given the gift – and challenge – of longevity. While financial planning is a critical step for surviving in our golden years, retirement life planning driven by purpose is even more critical for thriving during those years. Why risk losing a third of your life?

My next step is to ask them to reflect upon Albert Einstein’s statement: “It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.” Einstein is talking about giving back the gifts that you have been given. Think about how you would answer these questions: How are you using what you have been given? How do you want to be remembered? Do you still have some work to do on your legacy so that you can experience peace of mind instead of regrets?

Depression Divorce Premature death

Once you have discovered how to live in sync with your life purpose, over time you may be less inclined to fear and worry about all those things that are less important to that purpose. The various ways YOU choose to fulfill that purpose - in your family, work, church and community – will change over the years as your life changes. Yet, just as each bird has its song for a lifetime; know that you have been given your own life purpose song for your lifetime. Be thankful and be glad. I wish you much peace and fulfillment in your life, Coach Betty

Many times, people who have been wrapped up in the “busyness of life” instead of focusing on the “business of life,” hit a wall. Then they are faced with the task of either discovering and embracing their purpose or feeling crushed by life. For example, I remember one lonely, older lady who was slowly sinking into declining health and depression after retiring. She had been a working mom most of her life. When her husband passed away at an early age, she took over management of the family business until she retired. Proudly independent, she had often bragged about getting a credit card “in her own name” back in the day when other female executives couldn’t get credit on their own! Now the kids had moved away, and she had sold her business and home. She no longer had the familiar roles to play. Her world had changed, leaving her angry and unprepared for the next stage of her life. In her “busyness,” she had built up her bank account but not her lifetime account of good friends and meaningful ways to spend her time. After we worked together, she began to recognize that her takecharge, organizational skills were a gift. She realized that what she felt called to do throughout her life was to help others organize and make sense of their world. Now she felt confident – and needed, once again – as she helped others in her retirement community understand their confusing mail and documents. Her friendships increased and her depression lifted. She had re-rediscovered her purpose and felt good about giving back her gifts! 22

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

(CSA Disclosure Statement: “Certified Senior Advisors (CSAs) have supplemented their individual professional licenses, credentials and education with knowledge about aging and working with seniors. Know what those licenses, credentials and education signify. The CSA designation alone does not imply expertise in financial, health and social matters. Details: www. csa.us”) Photo provided by Jhamerria Images.

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

WISE LIVING

EDUCATE!

Beads Soften Uganda HIV/AIDS Crisis

By Aero Lillian Olok

n my village in Uganda, I see women struggling with HIV/ AIDS every day. I mourn with them and for them as they suffer. Where I live, financial hardship lurks everywhere. Women don’t have access to antiretroviral drugs (ARVs) or pain medication, so even simply treated symptoms like coughing and body aches must be endured. They don’t eat regular meals or get proper nutrition. And their communities shun them. The afflicted are stigmatized for their infection and they are feared. In my village, sometimes women acquire HIV/AIDS through their own carelessness. They have unprotected sex with a carrier, engage in oral sex or kiss a partner with wounds in his mouth. Other times, tragically, the woman is blameless; her mother was infected with the disease, infecting her daughter before she takes her first breath. In my village, women pray for the cure that has yet to be found. And they wait. But I got tired of waiting. I had attended a workshop called “Where is the Good Samaritan Today?,” an event organized by the Bible Society of Uganda. We discussed our disgust with the problems associated with this dilemma, not with the people affected.

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

That workshop, coupled with the Educate! led me to do something. I am a Ugandan high school student, nearly a woman, set out to help Ugandan women. My research led me to those who suffer from HIV/AIDS. I could see the hurt and hardship they faced. Each day, they would struggle to earn enough to support themselves and their children. Working under a scorching sun in a stone quarry barely brought in enough money to survive. So I came up with a plan. I taught them how to take recycled paper and roll it into beautiful beads. They then string these beads together into bracelets, earrings and necklaces, creating jewelry that can then be sold to generate income. Working to earn money gives these women purpose, allowing them to feel that they are a needed part of Uganda’s growing population. They can contribute to the economic welfare of their families, enabling their children to attend good schools. Though they suffer from HIV/ AIDS, they are bettering the lives of their children, their communities and their country. In my village, HIV/AIDS is real. I can’t cure it, but, I will combat it. I will hope. They will hope. We will hope. And together, we will overcome.

Aero Lillian Olok, Founder of Namugongo Good Samaritan Organization and Educate! Scholar About Educate! Aero Lillian Olok is a Ugandan woman and Educate! Scholar--Educate! is a non-profit that empowers the next generation of socially responsible leaders who will develop creative solutions to the challenges facing their country. Lillian founded the Namugongo Good Samaritan Organization (NGSO) when she was a high school student. The NGSO teaches HIV-AIDS-affected widows how to make jewelry out of recycled paper and includes a cooperative to give them access to markets for their product. Lillian has given these women hope for the future. Educate! founded in 2002, empowers students across Uganda to drive the social, political and economic development of their communities. We teach a two-year curriculum on how to lead social change, provide long term mentoring, and create a life-long, national network that equips students with the skills and confidence necessary to transform their communities. Educate! students create locally-grown, market based initiatives that solve the challenges of poverty, disease, and environmental degradation. Today, Educate! is empowering 830 young leaders at 24 high schools across Uganda and has impacted over 10,000 people. A recent winner of the Champions of Quality Education in Africa competition, a collaboration between Ashoka’s Changemakers and The William and Flora Hewlett Foundation, Educate! was also recognized by Entrepreneur magazine as one of 100 Brilliant Companies in 2009, by DoSomething as an organization started by one of America’s top five changemakers under 25 and by the Echoing Green fellowship, recognizing the highest potential startup social change ventures worldwide.

Your cat and small dog readers are probably planning their meow-velous road trips! Seventeen years and still flying high, the innovative design of the SturdiBag makes it the preferred carrier for many well-traveled professional trainers, breeders and animal lovers around the world. Sturdi Products, Inc. has gained an international reputation for designing unique, attractive, durable and safe products that reflect the needs of customers who travel with cats and small dogs. Sturdi Products manufactures professional quality soft sided pet carriers, portable pop up shelters, foldable water-tight boxes, orthopedic grade pads, corporate promotional products and other unique items geared to cats and small dogs. Sturdi Products Inc. offers quality products for traveling pets...and their people. To learn more about Sturdi Products,

visit www.sturdiproducts.com october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

THE GROOVE

Dare to be Fearless with Your Teen By Evonne Weinhaus and Cindy Smith

s a parent, when your child hits the “terrible twos”, you generally know what you’re in for – tantrums, shouts of “no” and in general bad behavior. But the age is short lived, and quickly your toddler transforms into an adorable preschool child whose cherubic face beams from photos scattered around your house. What seems like all too soon, that faces turns into a mask of terror and the “tumultuous teenage” years are upon you. These years can seem endless, fraught with uncertainty, a tug of war for independence, and a battle for control. “Terrible twos” instill mild tension in your heart. “Teenager” leaves you scared witless. One parent of a teen summed it up well: “My daughter went to bed as Cinderella and woke up as Godzilla.” In my 25 years as a relationship therapist, I have realized that the cast of characters may change and the scenarios may be different but one thing remains constant: People never outgrow playing childhood games. When life becomes stressful, when fear paralyzes them, they revert to old behavior and still play familiar games like Hide and Seek. The only difference? The playing field is bigger- it’s the whole world around us. Now I want to ask you a question. When was the last time you played Hide and Seek? Yes, Hide and Seek. Remember that game you played as kids around the old oak tree? It probably seems like a lifetime ago! But the bad news is you may be playing Hide and Seek or other childhood games right now. You just don’t know it. How do you play? Simple. You hide from fear and seek answers outside yourself by trying to make your teenagers change.

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

And herein lays the good news. I’m going to give you some tips about changing yourself, not your teen, and developing a parenting style that is driven by love, not by fear. And wouldn’t you rather be at peace than arguing all the time? A smile versus a snarl from your teen would be a pleasant change! You need to find that healthy balance between letting go (turning responsibility over to your teen) and taking a stand on issues when you need to. I realize you want to protect your children, but it is often your fear that is driving you into over-controlling your teen or on the reverse side, giving all the control to your teen. Sure there are many new parenting challenges today. Our teenagers have grown up wired since birth, and know a computer like you knew a calculator. They can text faster than you can talk! And the Internet, which has given them unlimited access to information, is also filled with pornography and depraved individuals looking to prey on their innocence. You now have to worry about sexting and their privacy issues. You no longer hear their music because it is all downloaded to their iPod. What are they listening to? However, many things about teenagers have not changed, although if you asked them, their generation is the “first” and we obviously don’t know what we are talking about. Teenagers still drink and do drugs. They skip school. They get speeding tickets and smash their cars. Let’s look at an example about a mother who is similar to many other parents who wants their goals and dreams to drive their behavior, but they sabotage themselves and their relationship with their teens. Unbeknownst to them, FEAR is driving their behavior. They rob themselves of all their energy by trying to outrun their fear and over-control their

Photo provided by NettiesEyes

teen’s life or they swing the other way and give up too much of their control. Katherine thought she was just helping her daughter when she found out her daughter was skipping school. First, she tried calling the teachers to get her daughter’s homework assignments so she wouldn’t fall behind in her grades. She even reorganized her days around her daughter’s school schedule by escorting her to and from school daily. But guess what? As soon as her daughter saw her mother’s car pull away, she left the school grounds. What was Katherine hiding from and what was she seeking? Simply put, she was hiding from conflict and seeking peace. More specifically, she was hiding from the fear of confrontation, or worse yet, her daughter flunking out of school, and seeking a “we are in this together” attitude. The bottom line: Katherine was feeling emotionally and physically drained. She had to make a change, removing the burden from her shoulders and placing it where it rightfully belonged – on her daughter. She laid down the ground rules and followed-up by saying to her daughter: She made a clear, concise statement about her own actions. She couldn’t change her daughter’s actions, but she could change her reactions.

guidance. The challenge for you is to be fearless enough to let your teens try, even if they fail. Katherine’s daughter experienced this first-hand. She ended up in summer school that year and decided that was no fun. The following year she vowed never to go to summer school again … hitting the books while her friends were sun bathing was no fun! Taking a stand can be hard as well. Ask yourself the question “What action can I take?” This is YOUR part of the problem. Make sure YOU are the subject of the sentences and you use an action verb. For example, Katherine told her daughter: “I will no longer talk to your teachers or drive you to school anymore.” Don’t threaten consequences you can’t carry out – follow-through is key. Keep in mind that your success of letting go does not depend on what your teen does. You are being a fearless parent by giving them the opportunity to take care of themselves and experience the consequences. By turning responsibility over to your child and taking a stand, you are stopping the game playing. You are no longer playing Hide and Seek- hiding from fear and seeking answers outside yourself. As a fearless parent, you learn how to develop that healthy balance between turning over responsibility to your teen and taking a stand on the part of the problem that directly affects your life. My challenge to you Dare to be fearless.

Turning over responsibility to your teen is not always easy, but first of all, it teaches teens responsibility. Secondly, it shows them that YOU have faith in their ability. Third, it gives them a sense of pride when they succeed and better prepares them for the future challenges they will have to face when you’re not there. Understand teens may have to fail to respect your sense of

Evonne Weinhaus, LCSW, LPC is the co-author of three books – A New Fearless You, Stop Struggling With Your Teen, and Stop Struggling With Your Child. She is also a sought-after speaker and relationship therapist. For more information, go to www. anewfearlessyou.com. Cindy Smith, MA is a recovering skeptic, now a faithful believer in self help. Cindy is an Internet marketing guru and President of All About Clicks. october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

UNDERSTANDING MONEY

Holiday $avings Ideas By Stephanie Nelson, CouponMom.com

ince 2004 Stephanie has appeared frequently on television and radio teaching savings tips, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Early Show, NBC Nightly News, Fox Business, The Doctors, and CNN. Over 2.5 million members belong to her free grocery deals website www.couponmom. com. In 1995 she retired from the corporate world to stay home with her sons. In 2001 she founded her free website www.couponmom. com committed to helping consumers save money and feed the hungry by increasing food donations to hunger organizations with the Cut Out Hunger program. The Coupon Mom’s Guide to Cutting Your Grocery Bill in Half, released in January 2010, became a New York Times Best Seller in its first month of publication. Websites, newspapers, and magazines across the country have featured Stephanie’s savings advice including USA Today, MSN. com, AARP, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, Family Circle, Reader’s Digest, Guideposts, Parenting, Woman’s World, Quick & Simple, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the Chicago Tribune, the Orange County-Register, the Seattle Times and the Denver Post. Stephanie lives with her husband and two teenage sons in Atlanta, Georgia. Photo by MissMessie | Creative Commons

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

1. 5 Best Ways to Save Money This Holiday Season

Here are some of Stephanie’s favorite holiday tips.

a. Plan your shopping list ahead of time and set your budget. Planning allows you to modify your gift list if it exceeds your budget before you get started. Stick to your plan. b. Talk to adult family members about the idea of scaling back gifts between adults—do a $5 Yankee swap or agree to give gifts to each other’s children. c. Do comparison price shopping online and/or with store ads to find the best prices for the items you need. If you find a free shipping offer at an online store, it may be less expensive and will save time to buy online. d. Use sites like www. priceprotectr.com to track the product’s price after you’ve bought it. Most retailers have a price guarantee policy that gives refunds for price differences if the price drops within a specific time period. e. Create electronic Christmas cards with family pictures and email them to everyone on your list to save time, money, and trees!

2. Ways to Give Back This Holiday Season a. Volunteer to adopt a child or family to provide Christmas gifts. Get your kids involved in picking out gifts, assembling food, and delivering the gifts if that is part of the program. b. Buy an extra grocery item and donate it to the store’s food drive bin. c. Use grocery coupons to get food and personal care items free all month long. Deliver a big box of items to a local charity before Christmas. d. Be sure to participate in any school or church food drives with a few items. e. Remember to give a token of appreciation or a small cash gift to the people who help you all year long: the newspaper delivery person, the postal carrier, your kids’ bus drivers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, etc. f. Donate outgrown coats to a local charity to help families.

3. Saving with Coupons During the Holidays a. For gifts, look for online coupon codes for the retailers or the items you need. Visit coupon sites and do a Google search with the retailer’s name and the term “coupon.”

b. Ask your stores if they accept competitors’ coupons. It may be easier to find a competitor’s coupon than a coupon for your store. Craft stores, household stores and hardware stores frequently accept competitors’ coupons. c. Look through the advertising circulars in the newspaper carefully—they’ll most likely have coupons. d. If you have an Entertainment book, look in the national and local retailer section for lots of store coupons. e. Use grocery coupons—you can find them in the Sunday newspaper and print them from coupon sites. f. Watch the mail for coupons for retailers and grocery stores.

4. Easy Inexpensive Ideas

and Gift

a. Give simple gifts— easy gifts like discounted magazine subscriptions and discounted restaurant gift certificates are always appreciated. b. Make homemade gifts—bake, give jar gifts, have kids paint pictures for grandparent gifts, make inexpensive photo gifts for relatives c. Watch for bargains at the drugstores—use store coupons and sales to save on boxed chocolates, gourmet nuts and snacks, bath products, picture frames, perfume, kids’ toys. d. Shop the dollar store for inexpensive gift wrap, gift bags, stocking stuffers, containers for giving homemade baked goods. e. Use the 40% off craft store coupon to buy materials to make gifts f. Shop at a thrift store to find bargains on picture frames that can be painted or personalized, fine china pieces, glassware, gift baskets, cookbooks, children’s’ books and more. g. Create themed gift baskets with all of the inexpensive items listed above, such as a cooking basket, baking basket, craft basket, art supplies basket, etc. Stephanie Nelson, the Coupon Mom, has taught millions how to save money. She says a family of four can save over $6000 a year if they use her strategic shopping methods.

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

Health is Wealth By Rhonda Mouton

Left: First Lady Sharon Stevens Right: 1st Place Winner Melissa Famer

ealth is wealth, is a realization necessary for people to recognize their lives will become richer through healthier lifestyles. The bible states in “I wish above all things that you will prosper as your soul prospers”. University City Church of God in Christ under the leadership of Pastor Michael & First Lady Sharon Stevens put this scripture into motion. For the women of University City Church, started in April 2010, the biggest loser has the chance to win an allexpense paid trip to the 2010 Women Retreat in Charleston, SC. The Biggest loser! Some of you may be thinking, ‘this is a church where we are all winners.’ Yes, we are all winners, but we have to lose something to win better things. Have you ever noticed a woman holding a large bag/purse? If you were to ask her for an item, she probably has it in her purse. However, she may not have room in the purse to put anything else. You may not be the size you were when you were in high school or college, but do you have to be the size you are today? You may have guessed it, the woman who loses the most weight and inches win the trip. Many women started at the race for the challenge, but as scripture states in, “the race is not given to the swift but those that endure to the end”. The challenge started with approximately 70 women

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

from University City Church and surrounding areas. The opening event was held with healthy snacks, measurements, praise and worship. Several different trainers volunteered and provided free exercise routines for three months to all attendees, as well as two physiologists. For three months, women exercised, fellowshipped, weighed in, renewed their minds and others fell off the wagon. After three months, it was no guess who endured to the end. Not only did the women look great but they had more smiles and energy. The closing ceremony, July 31, 2010, was more than I had expected. You see, I myself had fallen off the wagon. So, as I was sitting there taking notes for this piece, God was speaking as well. Each woman walked the red carpet, showing off their new bodies and attitudes. But, when they approached the microphone and gave their testimony, you knew something else had taken place. They encountered God in a new way. Who would have thought that while losing weight you would encounter God? As the ladies were losing weight and inches, God was filling them with more sex appeal, wisdom, energy, confidence, and motivation. I wish more of the women that fell off the wagon would have been there to support and be a part of the closing ceremony because it was encouraging. These women did not have it easy or better than those that fell off the wagon, but what they had was a determination to lose something so they could GAIN better. Kudos to the coordinator, Pastor Theresa Ochieng and staff, for a job well done. Congratulations to the winners, 1st Place Melissa Famer, 2nd Place Ayesha Lewis and 3rd Place Jovon Foster. “This was not a contest, nor a challenge but a lifestyle change”, said Pastor Theresa Ochieng. Are you ready to endure a lifestyle change? University City Church is located in Charlotte, North Carolina under the leadership of Pastor Michael & First Lady Sharon Stevens. For more information visit the website www.universitycitychurch.tv.

FEATURED STORY

NEVER GIVE UP By Lanie M. Adamson, MS

I asked my husband if this was what his mother had – a stroke. He must have had his fingers crossed behind his back, because he said no.

ere it is, approaching the end of another year, and people living along America’s coastline at the Gulf of Mexico are devastated by an environmental disaster, millions of people are unemployed, the neighbor lost his home and it seems that fewer people put their trust in the Lord. With such overwhelming problems, how can we keep our faith? How can we – as we are guided in Scripture (Matthew 24:13-14 KJV) – endure to the end? The following is a personal story of how the faith and encouragement of others helped me overcome defeat. On December 6, 2000, I found myself lying on the kitchen floor, puzzled at what happened. A siren sounded in the neighborhood, growing ever closer. My husband opened the door and the very wet boots of four paramedics squished across the new hardwood floor over to me. They quizzed me. What were you doing when you collapsed? What time was it? Do you remember anything since you collapsed? Can you feel this? They called the hospital and said they were bringing in a middle aged, white, female with left side paralysis.

The ambulance flashed red and screamed its way to the hospital. I took my left hand in my right and tried to get it to move. I tried to sing the refrain of a favorite hymn, “Be not afraid; I go before you always.” It was a stroke from a blood clot in my brain. Would I recover? By day, people encouraged me, but nights brought much discouragement. At 3:00 am on the third night, the hospital fire alarm blasted me awake. The heavy fire doors slammed shut just outside my room. I was alone. The nurses will forget me! I tried to sit up. I tried to find the nurse call button. I need to crawl to the nurses’ station! I tried to roll myself over the side of the bed. The functioning half of my body could not overcome the paralyzed half. A tear ran down my right cheek. I was dying. I was very afraid and very alone. My Lord was not with me.

That was my story early in December. I was defeated by a blood clot. My life was over. Have you ever given up? Have you ever lost the will to endure to the end? Do you know someone who has given up? This is not a time to lose faith. It is a time to hold onto it for dear life. As we are told in 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” (KJV) We are only one person and one person cannot solve everyone’s problems. What we can do – no,

what we are instructed to do in Scripture – is to help build each other up. Our job is to help people find their faith and encourage them in the fight. Church members came to the hospital and read from the Bible. The choir and I sang and made a personal recording for me of “Be Not Afraid.” Rosa (not her real name) was in the other bed, recovering from a second stroke. When she heard the discouragement in my voice, she told her daughter to push back the curtain between us and translate. She showed me hand exercises and motioned for me to repeat after her, “Yo puedo.” Her daughter translated, “I can.” I can overcome stroke. I can endure. It’s been 10 years since I collapsed on the floor and started the long road to recovery. I talk to groups about my experience. At a recent meeting of professional speakers, a woman came up to me and reached out her hand and said, “Thank you! You encouraged me during my recovery.” I looked at her, “I did?” She told me the story of a horrific accident and continued, “I was in the hospital for months. Your speech about your stroke kept me going. You touched people that day.” In reality, they were touched by the people who encouraged and prayed for me. Their kindness spread like ripples on the pond after a tossed pebble. For all who suffer defeat, let us reach out with encouragement and prayers of faith. May each person who sows encouragement reap a healthy crop (Galatians 6:7-9 KJV) as we end this year and start the next. Never give up.

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

WISE STYLE

Happy Anniversary! TO THE WISE TEAM

As WISE Magazine celebrates its anniversary I would like to thank the team that made 2010 a huge success. I appreciate each of you and wish Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blessings upon you. We would have never made it without your commitment, dedication, sacrifices, and contributions. Happy Anniversary. Happy Holidays.

The Groove Janelle Plummer

Rhonda Mouton WISE Founder

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

Love & Consequences Odell Ruffin

Marketing Director Leah Taylor

WISE Style Lana Meyon

Editors Celeste Hart

Understanding Money

Lynda Harris

Shella Sylla

Hasan Harnett

Geopology Design Kamonda Philips

Leading In Spiritual Excellence Loretta Petit

Graphic Designer Andre Johnson Photographer Aja Grant

Photos not shown Editor Alenya Mouton, Legal Eraina Ebron, Intercessor Monica Sanders

Photographer Annette Webb

Intern Kim Joseph

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE Just in Time for Fall, IceWatch® Introduce’s New Classic Fluo Solid Collection

This fall, make Ice-Watch® your top techni-color accessory with the new Classic Fluo Solid Collection. Fashionistas now have a casual and affordable accessory that adds a punch of color to fall’s blasé basics. Available in acid green, orange, pink and blue with matching dials and matching solid polycarbonate bands. A new concept in international, intercultural and intergenerational watches, Ice-Watch® is distributed in more than 50 countries throughout the world. Ice-Watch® made its United States debut in December 2009. For more information, visit www.ice-watch.com. Retail: $110 unisex (43mm); $125 big (48mm) *Ice-Watch® watches have a two year warranty 34

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

Show Times: Monday 2:00pm, 10:00pm & Sundays 12:00 noon PST on News Press Radio AM1290 The Cindy Laverty Show is the nation’s only live, commercial radio program devoted to the subject of Care, how we care for ourselves so we can better care for each other. Each week, Cindy interviews nationally and internationally recognized accomplished guests leaving her listeners with new and profound concepts to ponder. “I believe that Americans need to wake up to the fact that we are all caregivers for each other, and that is a good thing.” - cindy laverty

For a private consultation, contact Cindy at 818.623.0311 To learn more, please visit www.cindylavertyshow.com and www.thecarecompany.biz To listen to the show LIVE on the internet go to www.newspress.com and click on AM1290

A Lott of Sista Love Join us!

BE HEALTHY! & BE HAPPY!

A LOTT of Sista Love meets every 1st Sunday 3:00-5:00 pm Web: www.alottofsistalove.org Email: lottofsistalove@yahoo.com

A LOTT of Sista Love is an affiliate of Kingdom Development 501(c)3 Non-Profit

october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

Investing During An Economic Recession By Praveen Puri

n economic recession is actually a great time to invest in stocks, because you can buy good quality stocks at lower prices. Since diversification is important, you should stick to mutual funds and ETFs, and not buy individual stocks, unless you can invest $2000 or more in at least 5-10 stocks.

During a recession, merchants are under pressure to cut prices in order to make sales. Consumers are less willing to spend money because of high unemployment, shrunken investment accounts, a desire to save more, and tightening of credit. What kinds of stocks or funds should you pick under this scenario? Here are 10 things to look for:

Health Care and Pharmaceuticals People will continue to get sick and need medical care - especially as Baby Boomers age. Drugs, treatments, and products need to go through an expensive FDA approval process. This, along with patents, creates a barrier of entry that allows existing companies to retain some pricing power.

2. 36

Specialized Niche Manufacturers Companies that produce highly advanced and specialized products - such as deep-sea drilling bits and heavy-duty mining equipment - should be able to resist recession and deflation. Especially focus on companies whose products are protected by patented processes and/or require expensive manufacturing processes that make it hard for competitors to enter the field.

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

Companies with Innovative Logistics An example of this are Amazon.com and its famous “negative operating cycle”. Let’s say that both Amazon and Best Buy can receive merchandise from a manufacturer on net 45 day terms (meaning they have to pay in 45 days). If Best Buy takes 75 days to turn over the inventory, then they must borrow money for 30 days to pay the manufacturer. If Amazon can turn over the merchandise in 20 days, then they can invest the money for 25 days. This gives them an advantage during a price war.

illustration by Sebastian Kaulitzki | Dreamstime.com

Manufacturers that Offer High Level Services Many products, for example PCs, are becoming commodities where price becomes a major differentiation. Companies that also offer high level consulting services (e.g. HP and IBM) have an advantage over other competitors (e.g. Dell) because they can lose money in a pricing war for the products and make their profits through service contracts and consulting fees.

Luxury Brands Even though they will come under some pricing pressures, the highest quality brands (i.e. Gucci, iPods, and Mercedes-Benz) will always have a pricing floor because they are not regarded as commodities. They are in a class by themselves. 6. Firms with Strong Hiring Normally, companies are cautious during a recession. If a company is adding a lot of employees during a downturn, it is a sign of very strong growth. Compare the number of new hires from the latest quarter with that of the same quarter one year ago to see if they are increasing.

7. Companies with Increased Capital Expenses If a firm is increasing the amount it spends on fixed capital expenditures (i.e. real estate, utilities, etc) it is a sign that they are growing and expanding during the recession. As with new hires, you want to see the amount increasing when comparing the latest quarter with the same quarter in the previous year.

8. Companies with a High Degree of Productivity A good way to measure a company’s productivity are to divide sales by the number of employees. Compare the values from recent quarters with the values from the same quarters from the previous year. If the numbers are rising, it means that sales are increasing faster than hiring, and that employee activity is resulting in more sales. 9. Pension Expectations If a company still offers a traditional pension, a sign of strength during a recession is that the company expects to be able to meet its pension obligations, while assuming a realistic rate of return. Warning: if a company is assuming an aggressive rate of return (i.e. 8%), then that is a red flag that the company should be avoided.

10. Pension Surplus If a company offers a traditional pension, and the pension is well funded with a surplus, then that is a sign of strength. Praveen Puri is the author of “Stock Trading Riches”, which is available from Amazon.com and bookstores. He has a passion for simplicity, elegance, and minimalism, and has been a programmer, fulltime trader, and vice-president at a major bank. Praveen lives in the Chicago area with his wife and son. www.StockTradingRiches.com october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

MUSIC TIDBITS

RADIO AIRPLAY “Radio airplay has never been harder to get than it is these days. When I was releasing records in the 70’s and 80’s you could get 90 to 150 stations with one mailing. Today, that’s impossible,” Greg Simpson, Mindbenders Music.

music

ARTISTS NEWS

tidbits By Loretta Petit

Grammy Winner Beverly Crawford has a Brand New CD – Release date 9/14/10 Featuring the hot new single “It’s About Time For A Miracle!” Grammy & Stellar Award winner Beverly Crawford is back with a vengeance and churching like a crazy woman!!!!! “Don’t Stop, Git It, Git It!” - Wow! That reminds me of what my Pastor says after we make our confession on how we are going to receive the word…Oh, that’s right Beverly’s visited our church several times - (chuckling). When something gets arrested in our spirit, we have to hold on to that thang!!! Now, on the real, I cannot say that is where she got that from, perhaps we borrowed it from her… you know how it goes in church – we do a lot of borrowing! But, ain’t nothing wrong with that as long as it gets the job done!!! Gearing up for the release of her highly anticipated new CD, Live from Los Angeles – Vol. 2, “It’s About Time For A Miracle!” is the follow-up to Beverly’s #1 chart-topper “He’s Done Enough”, which dominated the Billboard Charts for over 70+ weeks & garnered 7 Stellar Award nods including Album of the Year, Artist of the Year, Female Vocalist of the Year, according to JDI Records.

[ ] YES, I’d like to receive 1 year (4 issues) of WISE for $12.97. name:

address:

city: email:

state:

zip:

credit card type:

name as it appears on card: expiration date:

[ ] PAYMENT ENCLOSED

security code:

[ ] BILL MY CREDIT CARD

Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery of first issue. Offer good in U.S. only. Add $15/ year for Canadian Postage. Add $30/year for foreign postage. Foreign orders cash only no bill me orders accepted. Make all checks payable to WISE Magazine. Mail to: P.O. Box 681614 Charlotte, North Carolina 28216. To Subscribe visit us online www. wisemagazine.org. *Discount based on cover price of $4.00 per issue. 38

wisemagazine.org \ october-decembeR 2010

Illustration by Lakner Krisztina-Dreamstime.com

When artists are trying to move their music from just the local scene, it would sincerely help their efforts to get themselves a music promoter. Greg Lyons, of Uncle G Promotions and Entertainment is a “radio promoter and that entails calling Program Directors around the country, making certain that the music is serviced to all of the radio stations. I try my best to get air play from each station and I also track. My goal is to get the music played. I think I bring a lot to the table as far as exposure for the artists. I try to get promotional gigs. I also provide exposure for the artist. I help with artist development and train them (artists) for radio interviews; The ins and outs of being on the road out on tour. Ultimately what the radio promoter is doing for the artists is “trying to build a brand.” Greg Lyons currently represent artist Brian Courtney Wilson who is listed as #4 on Media Base as of August 20, 2010. Brian has been on the charts for 71 weeks.

nations top 5 include

Media Base Reports 8/20/10

2 3 4

BISHOP T.D. JAKES ON THE MOVE AGAIN TEAMING UP WITH UNIVERSAL MUSIC

Marvin Sapp Is Riding High At Number 1 “The Best In Me”

#2 Lisa Page Brooks “I want to say Thank You”

#3 Forever Jones “He wants it all”

#4 Brian Courtney Wilson “All I Need”

#5 James Fortune & Fiya “I Believe”

Prominent pastor and author Bishop T.D. Jakes has signed a distribution and marketing agreement between his imprint Dexterity Sounds and Universal Music Christian Group. The first project to be released under the new agreement will be Sacred Love Songs II, the much-anticipated follow-up to its nearly gold-selling 1999 predecessor. That release featured the awesome vocals of Marvin Sapp on some numbers as well as Shirley Murdock on songs like Satin Sheets and You are My Ministry.

DON’T JUST SURVIVE! LEARN TO THRIVE AND ENJOY LIFE’S JOURNEY!

Let’s Talk! 704-287-5724 CoachBettyR@yahoo.com Free initial ½ hour consultation – by phone or in person 6135 Park South Drive – Suite 510, Charlotte, NC 28210

Your Business & Increase your sales.

ADVERTISE WITH WISE

www.WealthAndWell-Being.info and www.TLCCoachBettyR.com october-december 2010 / wisemagazine.org

text WeCanHelpUs to 30364 or go to reachout.com HER TEENS T O M O R F R A HE & m a d e it .

th e r e th a t h a v e b e e n

Message and data rates may apply.