Clown Prints

Official Student Newspaper

of Ida

Crown Jewish Academy

since

1992

The Crown Prints March 2017 • ICJA• March 2017

Adina Trubnick Staff Writer When Middleton Elementary School, across the street from ICJA, put up the “You Are Beautiful” sign to remind ICJA just how highly they thought about us, ICJA decided that they should reciprocate the kind gesture by putting up words on a fence as well. The only question was….what should the sign say?!

The whole school began thinking of ideas.

With no hesitation, Candace Resis suggested that the sign should respond to Middleton Elementary School with the words: “ We Know!”

After some long days of contemplating this tough decision, Rabbi Matanky suggested a creative phrase: “Bnei and Bnot Torah Thrive in the Modern World.”

Mr. Harris said the sign should read “The Cubs Won the World Series!”

(In case anyone forgot or was not aware).

A

If

the crown fits, wear it

Ms Sennett: “The sign should say ‘You Are Exemplary’.” : “Thanks, so are you!”

Sign hung on Middleton Elementary School fence, across the street from ICJA, reading “You Are Beautiful.” Photo credit to Adina Trubnik

Mr. Cooper: “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

Mrs. Kahan: “”How Much is This Compliment Going to Cost me?” or “There is no limit to your imagination.”

Wilson: “I think it should say ‘You Are Gorgeous’.” : “ We try.”

kit-kat bar’s act of defiance; the legal ramifications that are causing on uproar As of this March, there have been complaints of a Kit-Kat bar allegedly refusing to comply with the regulatory procedures governing the vending machine process. This Kit-Kat specifically violated clause three of the agreement, whereby any bar has to ensure a cooperative commericial transaction between the consumer and the bar.

The bar has been taken into custody and has a scheduled court hearing next week.

Already there have been students protesting the arrest holding up signs that read “Free Kit-Kat” and “Bar The Efforts To Put Bar Behind Bars.”

When asked senior Shmuel Bergman, coordinator of the recent protests, “Why the Sudden Uproar, he responded saying, “There is no denying the fact that these innocent-

Rabbi Meyers: “Trifecta” Rabbi Segal: “Chromebooks and Ipads for all” Dr. Green: “Keep smiling” Mrs. Weinkrantz: “Your pintela yid is even more intrinsically beautiful” Joey Silverstein: “My mom doesn’t think so” Zachary Fagan: “Joys divided are increased.”

Ezra Perlow: “You are a great big star.”

Bina Wilens: “You’re unbreakable.”

Spencer Wolmark: “Come to Ida Crown.”

Nathan Edelman Editor-in-Chief Kit-Kats are subjected to a tragic fate, as they are devoured by greedy consumers.

The stubborn Kit-Kat can be seen from the snack machine in the boys locker room.

Photo by Matan Bauman

They should have the right to refuse being a part of such tragedy!”

It appears to be that the bar’s refusal to comply with the procedures of the process is essentially a conscious act of rebellion against the social order that has denied them fair compensation for their

plight. “Some may call this conscious act of rebellion treason; however, I call it a revolutionary stand against an unfair system,” said junior Anna Perets, a staunch advocate for the rights of candy bars.

This past week, I went to Hershey, Pennsylvania to visit the convict in its cell and understand the true motive behind the refusal. “ We live in a prosperous era that has nourished a pronounced consumer culture. However, such large-scale consumerism can have detrimental effects on society and the moral integrity of its citizens,” Kit-kat told me in an exclusive interview.

The bar went on to further add, “ We must prevent this large-scale consumerism from consuming us and our values!” The threemonth old Kit-Kat will await sentencing until next week, whereby the bar will be represented by its lawyer, Mr. Goodbar.

We

With so many distinct and wonderful options, it has been far too difficult to choose only one phrase for the sign...so the winning phrase is TBD. Stay tuned…

need your help:

Please continue to be on the look out for the missing senior class. Created by Nathan Edelman.

Page 2

A

day at the Ice Cold Academy

Jewish

Ilana Peritt Senior Staff Wrtier

When you walk in and enter the commons, you’ll see students by the computers shivering, covered in sweatshirts and blankets. Who knew that our very own high school fosters not just academic development, but the ability to participate in the worldrenowned,”Mannequin Challenge.” During the mannequin challenge, Rae Sremmurd’s song, Black Beatles, is played and everyone in the room must freeze, whatever they may be doing. At ICJA freezing in place is not a problem. Why do you think the classroom lights always manage to shut off during exams and lectures? One minute you’re minding your own business, either freezing or burning to death, when suddenly you jolt awake to the “ughs” and “not again’s” of annoyed students and motion of flailing arms around you attempting to relight the room. Students chuckle at their peers who sigh and put their heads down as the room goes dark.

Eventually the teacher or a student sluggishly walks towards the light switch.

As you go through your day, one second you may feel like you’re in the snowy Alaskan mountains and the next you feel as if you’ve quite literally

entered the volcanoes of Hawaii, wishing you hadn’t worn that sweatshirt or those leggings that day.

Don’t even bother checking the weather online; that won’t help you figure out what to wear inside the building because the temperatures of the classrooms change on a daily basis, fluctuating to purposely annoy you.

Senior Avital Bergman says, “I thought I would only have to wear a coat in the winter, but turns out I’ll have to wear one in the spring and summer, too!” Senior Naomi Montrose says that she’s “always cold.”

To bring a sweatshirt, or to not bring a sweatshirt; that is the question all students must ask themselves.

Better to be safe than sorry and bring one to put in your locker. Plus, jackets not only keep you warm but provide a nice substitute for a blanket when you’re feeling like plopping down on a couch or bean bag in the senior lounge for a midafternoon nap during one of your frees. Maybe the senior girls should stock up the food locker with jackets, seeing that winter doesn’t appear to be ending anytime soon, we might as well make the best of it.

You saw it here first: students frozen in the hallway. Photo by Sarah Russman of seniors Ilana Peritt, Chani Shapiro, Kiki Lerer, Chaya Friedman, and Jenna Brody.

March 2017

Where

did all the books go?

A very curious and unusual feature of our library-I-mean-learning commons is the detectors that beep when many people pass by them.

I have been told that they are meant to beep when books are brought through them (to deter book thieves)-but I do not believe that there are enough book thieves in our school to make them go off so frequently.

Despite this, more books seem to have gone missing since these detectors have arrived. This might have in part to do with a desire for attention and the knowledge of how to bypass the system-Rabbi Matanky has been

Jacob Felix Staff Writer spotted walking out of the commons with books raised above the detectors.

Books that have been reported as missing are the following: How to Build a Better School (Likely suspect: Rabbi Matanky); How to Make Students Thrive in the 21st Century, which was last seen hidden in Dr. Green’s office; Remember When The Cubs Won the World Series?, which was obviously taken by Mr. Harris; How to Get Students to Pray, which was recorded seen being taken by Rabbi Gutstein while he was frantically running from minyan to minyan to try to keep up with the attendance;

and both copies of Why Romeo and Juliet Should Not be Taught in High School were admitted to be taken by Mrs. Arons (one is in her bag and the other one was given to a grandchild of hers).

Despite these books being very large yet seemingly ineffective (Mr. Harris’s book took 108 years to be relevant because all of the original readers had passed away), some of the space is reserved for future books, like any other stolen books or books that have not yet been written-Mrs. Feder knows how many good books there are, but she just needs money that is not being spent on broken Wi-Fi and printers.

Students can take a look for themselves at the empy bookself in the library. Photo by Jacob Felix

The

“Beser zto esen tzeulieb davenenin vi davenin tzuleib esen”. This is yiddish for its better to eat to daven, then to daven to eat. What does this mean in actuality for us as the Shulchan Oroach clearly states that one should not eat before davening?

The Rebbe goes on to explain this concept in a deeper meaning. He says that everything should be for holiness. He brings a story from a rich person who works

power of

Purim

Noah Wasserman Dvar Torah Writer at a big company puts on tefillin, and is in the top people will see this 1%. He says that and they themselves this person has will want to put on not reached his tefillin. This rich ultimate goal by man can influence being this rich and the world in holiness in this top job, but that not even a rabbi he has reached the can do. Each one of ultimate position us have the ability to of being able to influence others; we influence others. need to make sure When a person sees that we do mitzvahs a famous person do and show others something stupid, that this is exactly people still copy what a truly rich him. All the more person does. This is so do people copy something to keep him when he does in mind around something good.

Purim time when The Rebbe says that we dress up and if this rich person

conceal our true identity. If we conceal ourselves for too long and don’t put our good character traits on display then we are forfeiting the potential to influence others in a positive way.

Sarah Russman Editor-in-Chief

Ice

March 2017

skating with geese

Rabbi Matanky always keeps his promises and this promise was no exception. With winter upon us and the temperatures reaching a record high of 30 degrees, the students of ICJA whipped out their freshly cleaned figure and hockey skates to try them out on the new ice skating rink, as promised in the middle of the carpool turn around in the front of school. In the warmer months this “lagoon”, as the inhabitants of ICJA refer to it, is a wonderful home for families of geese who chose to take a break from their migration process to visit the lagoon and the students of ICJA. Some geese have even shown interest in adoption, but to no avail since the students of ICJA barely even look at these geese who look so at home and in place in the middle of the forest filled lagoon. As Rabbi Matanky informed the students of ICJA, the lagoon is there as a waste deposit and ends up filling with water. ICJA students, faculty, and staff are thrilled that the geese are enjoying their stay at the mini Amazon rainforest lagoon filled with who knows what. The recently asked question has been, will Rabbi Matanky start charging these adorable geese rent when they return in the warmer months of the year?

For now, Rabbi Matanky has no answer to that question. He advises students to enjoy the ice rink through the winter and we will welcome back the geese when they choose to return once the ice rink has melted…. unless of course the rink was never frozen to begin with. Students have been waiting endlessly to enjoy skating around this entirely safe rink whenever they have some free time. Students are frequently seen along side the geese who missed their flight to warmer parts of the world and are now stuck with the students of ICJA for the time being.

Uniforms

or

They sit and stare into the lagoon as if they believe that the water will freeze over within an instant. Students have been armed and ready to arrive before school has begun in hopes that they will be able to skate and get in their gym requirement for the semester that ICJA has and reinforces. Students are also anxiously waiting to bring a teacher along on the ice day so students can both skate and get help from their multitasking, talented teachers.

Seniors Raina Kutliroff, Ayelet Chavel, and Kayla Bulgatz enjoy wearing NCSY apparel as part of their uniform. Photo by Avital Bergman

“Squak” painted by Senior Shmuel Bergman

Rabbi Matanky has even encouraged teachers to bring their classes onto the frozen rink, not the watery lagoon, during class time in order to teach students the importance of camaraderie and learning to ice skate in the 21st century. Along with the promise of having an accessible ice rink in the front of the school, ICJA students can’t wait to use the freshly groomed soccer field and running trail that are surely to be ready before the season begins.

Polyforms?

Anna Jacoby Staff Writer

“But Rabbi, I promise you they’re affiliated with a Hillel – it’s a Jewish organization!”

“I was wearing a collar, but then I was reminded of how well the heat works in the new building, so I took it off ” “If my skirt gets any longer I am going to trip!”

These are just a few examples of the many excuses and comments I’m sure you have heard in the ICJA halls after the institution of the uniform. Now that it has been instituted, it seems that there is a problem enforcing it.

Of course, Rabbi Matanky is quick to tell us it is really a polyform, but students have been quick to note the distinction between poly and uni.

Page 3

In fact, a recent poll has shown that students actually take more time to pick out their clothes in the morning this year than it did last year; this can be attributed to the fact that no one actually wears the uniform.

If you are going to try to be sneaky and not wear the uniform, then you better be pretty careful because everyone from Mrs. Resis to Coach Wax to Lilly from Tailgators have been instructed to be fashion police and crack down on those that seem to be out of uniform.

With all the enforcement that the students are getting it is as if boys and girls are getting caught shirtless or girls dared wear leggings to school.

It’s been a whole semester with the uniform, and I don’t think I have ever seen two people wearing the same thing.

Actually, I take that back: every single senior girl has worn the green velvet shirt from Zara at least once in the last week.

Although they cannot be purchased from Lands End, Stan Smiths have made their way into the polyform as well.

The progression from white and new to old and dirty is probably the best indicator of the days of school that have elapsed.

Allowing the students to wear Ida Crown apparel has been praiseworthy, but we know the origin of allowing Ida apparel to be considered in uniform.

It was obviously Ms. Sennett.

This way she could sell all the Student Council clothing to raise money.

The polyform has led to polyproblems. For example, now you don’t have to go to the library to read; you can just read the clothing of students to ensure that only Jewish organizations are advertised (I’m sure Bnei Akiva and Moshava have definitely thanked Rabbi Matanky for the free advertisement). But maybe someone can explain to me why it’s better for your shirt to say Avodah rather than Abercrombie, Hebrew-U rather than Hollister, or Torat Shraga rather than Tommy Hilfiger. Also, now that boys can’t wear blue jeans, they are having trouble matching their clothes. Every boy knows that he can wear anything with blue jeans, but now that those are not an option, you never know what kind of combinations and art projects you’ll see from some of the boys. Lastly, the polyform has become so diverse that the girls’ shirts are seldom from Lands End and Kosher Casual.

The only people you see consistently repping the ICJA uniform, are Wilson and Wadley, with their light blue polos.

Since students made the rather compelling argument that teachers can discipline students for not wearing the uniform, but the teachers, themselves, don’t have to wear it, next year it won’t just be Ms.

Pederson, Dr. Kahan, and Mr. Harris wearing the uniform.

It’s been rumored that teachers too will be included in the restrictive polyform.

Maybe the best way to encourage kids to wear the uniform is to have Ms. Pederson, Dr. Kahan, and Mr. Harris buy a few more uniform shirts. Also, it can’t hurt to have Ms. Goldstein continue her school spirit with her uniform shirt and her pom-poms.

The Ida Crown uniform has taken off far past the KINS runway. Recently, Ida Crown’s uniform has been adopted as part of pop culture: The models at fashion week in Milan are even choosing to strut the uniform down the runway.

Also, students can be seen outside of school still in “uniform” because they love it so much.

With a new building, comes a new look. There are definitely some serious growing pains with the polyform, but for the school, time and persistence will smoothen the transition.

On the other hand, for the students, as time goes on, there will be less uniform enforcement.

I just have one last question – since when is maroon one of Ida Crown’s school colors?

Page 4

March 2017 Zenna Brandt-Rauf Staff Writer

As a result of a one-time joint Ida Crown/NBA lottery, lucky contestant Mimi Montrose won a day with the newest member of the Golden State Warriors: Wilson.

Wilson was born for this type of career. He is 5”10 and wears a generous size 9 shoe.

Before getting drafted, Wilson claims that Daniel Otani intimidated him when they would play basketball in the Ida Crown gym. Now that he got drafted for Golden State, no one intimidates Wilson except… Rabbi Matanky.

Hence, why Rabbi Matanky decided to hold a raffle in which students could pay to enter a ticket and the one who was chosen would spend a day with Wilson where it all started, in our very own ICJA. Junior Mimi Montrose was the lucky winner who won the privilege of spending a whole day with him. This gave her a chance to see close-up what it was like living as a celebrity. For breakfast, Mimi and Wilson each ordered a well-done steak, his go- to meal after a big game, before starting off their exciting day at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.

Since Wilson is no longer an “average person,” he had to come in disguise to insure that there would be no mayhem. He brought her to the place where the recruiter’s first spotted his extraordinary talents: the gym.

The recruiters initially came to ICJA to check out the Lady Aces.

Editors-in-Chief Sarah Russman Nathan Edelman Layout Editor Raina Kutliroff

Lottery brings NBA player to Ida Crown However, due to a glitch in the airline schedule, the recruiters arrived earlier than expected, during the Ida Crown lunch period.

Their annoyance at their early arrival quickly subsided when they witnessed Wilson’s “double twist dunk,” which is now his signature move.

Wilson tells Mimi the secret of fame.

Photo by Zenna Brandt-Rauf

After telling Mimi about how he became noticed and famous, Wilson shared with her the secret of how he performs so well during nerve-wracking games.

According to Wilson, it is all about the music you listen to before getting into “the zone.” Wilson’s favorite songs to jam out to before his games are “Zchar Mitzvah,” by Mordechi Shapiro, “Fever,” by Vybz Kartel, and “Side To Side,”

by Ariana Grande.

At that point, Ida Crown students who were eager to get his autograph mobbed him. They interrogated him for many minutes about his new profession.

News Editor Anna Jacoby Sports Editor Adina Trubnick

Wilson did not mind this mayhem but it reminded him of other crazy fan experiences.

“After one of my games, I went back home and in the middle of the night, a crazy fan broke into my house, and tried to cut off my hair to save it for a keepsake.

Being famous is exciting and cool but you have to remember that there are crazy people out there.

Lock your doors.”

He told her that he can speak four languages -English, Spanish, French, and Creole. His jersey number is 92 because that was the year he was born, and if he could meet anyone, it would be Shakira.

In return for this information as well as some useful basketball-

p o i n t e r s , M i m i taught Wilson some Hebrew phrases.At the conclusion of the day, Wilson was off to resume his life as a Warrior.

Who knows, maybe next time he will come back with a championship and MVP title in hand and be gracious enough to have them displayed in ICJA’s very own trophy case.

Mimi is ecstatc about her big win.

The gym: where Wilson’s NBA career began Photo by David Seide

Op/Ed Editor Ilana Peritt Features Editor Matan Bauman

Advisor Ms. Sheri Goldstein

The Crown Prints is the official newspaper of Ida Crown Jewish Academy written by and for its students.

The Crown Prints is an open forum that welcomes letters to the editor. Letters should be given to Ms. Goldstein or to any member of the editorial staff. Letters must be signed and will not be printed anonymously.

The Crown Prints is printed by Sharper Dot Printing, Inc. in Morton Grove, IL. Ida Crown Jewish Academy • 8233 Central Park Ave, Skokie, IL 60076