Single_Mother.

Single Mother Single mother is a term that I have never liked, I guess moralistic culture of the fifties, or worse, nineteenth century style opera heroines. A term that carries with it the transgression of a law, in fact the term "girl" is not opposed to "woman" as one would expect, but with the euphemism typically hypocritical of our society, "wife", married mother, that respect for the law has the right not to have other names that specify his situation, just mother, since the word "normally" inclusive of the other condition, that of a married woman.

So it happened to me, having had a son in twenty years (and having a companion) to be called "single mother", although I was not alone. A single mother is, therefore, a single mother, regardless of age, and a young unmarried mother, regardless of whether you have a partner or not.

Frankly, I consider it an outdated term, to confine the annals of the gossip columns of the fifties and sixties, when Mina was scandal, being pregnant by a married man.

If the term goes, the problem remains. If mothers are young teenage mothers to be distinguished from some features, are approached by a number of common themes that affect both groups.

Teenage mothers are currently in about 1% of all women who give birth, would double if we consider the incidence of voluntary interruption of pregnancy among adolescents. Many experts shout to the "pandemic", alarmed by the growing phenomenon in Western countries, particularly the United States.

Also in the United States it seems that the phenomenon is due to the high divorce rate, the increase of abuses and rapes of children and adolescents, the recent trend to consider a child as a "status symbol", the need in times of identity and landmarks increasingly unstable, to have an affection "stable" from which "start afresh".

Studies and research are quite common in the United States, while very fragmentary data are available in our country, and as always in these cases, moralistic interpretations and guilt-ridden reign.

Just think of the idea, entirely without foundation, that the main problem of teenage mothers is the fact of having had a pregnancy "junk", "unexpected", random, when we know that as much as 50% of children are born " unexpected ".

It is therefore not the "unexpected" to embarrass the teenage mother but of the social and psychological motivations, which affect the representation of herself as a mother, on his development as free and independent woman, working on their future, and its relationship with their children.

Also according to experts, teenage mothers are more likely than mothers over twenty years of leaving school early, job difficulties, abuse and ill-treatment of children, separation and divorce from the boy with whom they have had the baby, and even having children with genetic abnormalities in a statistically greater of women over twenty years.

From a psychological point of view the risk of incurring a postpartum depression quadrupled,

from 10% of the total group of mothers to 44% of adolescent mothers.

From an emotional standpoint, anger, traumatic shock for the unexpected news, shame and guilt, afraid to break the news to the parents of the future mom and dad and their reactions, say friends and classmates, fear compared to future and their own capacity to love the child, and cases of schizoid split of identity, difficulty in establishing identity boundaries between themselves and the child, the self and the world, narcissistic overinvestment on baby.

Baby projection on the part of the "better" or "worse "self, aggression, and anger towards the child, murderous fantasies toward the child and fear of" pass the time ", suicidal tendencies, social isolation, and finally denial of reality (those girls who realize they are pregnant at the time of birth or who throw the kids in the bins), all these elements with different shades seem to be present in both groups, both teenage mothers and young mothers and therefore affect a large part of the population maternal.

One of the most reliable psychological theories about the possible cause of pregnancies at a young age is that of separation or release. Adolescence represents a critical moment of separation and removal from their parents, a time when the young "tests" his ability to be different from his parents, and his ability to "become himself, continually trying the limits parental education and integrating or rejecting parts of them in his identity based on their reactions and how their reactions are read by the young.

Psychology has in fact built a real hymn to the "need to separate" the young teenager, without taking into account the specific female. While it is partially true that a young male teenager has more need of the relationship with a father figure to build his adult identity, separating from the wing maternal temporarily, the need for a female teenager is speculate and instead the opposite, namely that of "closer to the mother," and build an alliance with her through conflict and mirroring the ferry young adulthood.

Instead, what happens is that many mothers continue to encourage the "separation" of her daughter, without distinguishing legitimate search for autonomy and "psychological separation", which would be confused with the result that the young often feels "betrayed" and "abandoned" from the mother.

For here we are talking about first experience psychological separation in fact we should not be understood literally, removal or abandonment of the family, but of the psychological separation of which she often suffers in the transition from adolescent, separation from the more alive and authentic self, the little girl who tells the powerful truth about herself and others.

Adolescence is the period when in fact the female identity begins to manifest itself in its helplessness and dependency, in which they realize that being born female a disadvantage against their male counterparts, the time when teachers listen to males with more attention, treat them as equals and they value most, even if they have lower grades to females, begins the time when "being nice" becomes more important than "being smart" and win the favor male determines the hierarchy within the group .

Mothers are increasingly powerless in the management of power and therefore more and more

disqualified in the eyes of the daughters who feel so "betrayed" and at the mercy of male values of a society that does not recognize the contribution women's uniqueness and individuality.

In this context, an early pregnancy may seem like an extreme attempt to recover and paradoxical that closeness with the mother that has been denied, a risky endeavor and compromising to live within themselves to be a good mother. An unnecessary loss and unaware that only in recent years women are trying to understand and repair looking for new readings and new practices of the mother-daughter relationship, a revolution, certainly, in the social and psychological context.

Within this framework it becomes clear that the direction of travel can build reparative experience for the young mother who can be a valuable support for effective action.

The teenage mother and young mother in fact have particular need to be recognized in their "maternal power" and in the sense of being treated as adults capable of taking responsibility for the care of the mother, both at a symbolic level to be encouraged to recognize their own value in the difficulty of the situation.

Emotional elaboration will be given special attention to the anger and its possible somatic manifestations, the relationship with the mother of the young man who is always encouraged and "stitched up" even where the will of her parents were in disagreement with that allowing the expression of conflicts and emotions into play.

Care must be taken also to the way in which the young mother is related to gynecological exams and routine, allowing the expression of anxieties and fears about, building strategies together "anti-fear." It 'important that the young person is informed about the possible choices and can decide and evaluate for themselves what is best for her.

Enter a teenager or young mother in a group of older mothers may be a good opportunity for discussion, and to develop and express the difference of his situation and to seize together with other moms traits of "normality" that all women who become mothers share.

It important to pay attention to the representation that the mother of the baby, encourage a relationship of closeness and intimacy with her unborn child, build fantasies about the future, as well as prepare for the reality of the event of the birth and after birth in order to reassure and to enable it to handle the event in a realistic way. http://www.infantstrollersreview.com/single-mother/