Woman To Woman With Joanne The Magazine July 2020

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July 2020 • Issue 31

Women For Progress Celebrates 43 Years of Serving The Community

Allison Gee Tabitha Dorcus Jenni Smith Peggy Lee

more inside…

A Tribute To

MRS. DOROTHY STEWART SAMUEL


Together, we have the strength.

Education

MCADV provides training sessions, special events and resource materials to all sectors of the community, including law enforcement, professional, civic groups, and services providers.

Public Awareness

MCADV conducts ongoing statewide media campaigns aimed at specific target audiences including action-oriented communications to victims and the public as well as building public awareness about domestic violence in various entities within the community at-large.

Technical Assistance

MCADV provides training, support, resources, and capacity building to member shelter programs and coordinates efforts between programs and other community service agencies to enhance the strategies and programs for victim service provision as well as provide referrals to domestic violence shelter programs and other available services.

Resource Distribution

MCADV maintains information on domestic violence resources and services including stalking, teen dating violence, domestic violence and the faith community, victims’ rights, and elder abuse.

Legal Services

MCADV conducts the coordination of legal services to victims of interpersonal violence associated with the shelter programs, such as family law matters and other non-tort legal services in civil court matters.

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WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 32, July 2020

1-800-898-3234 SUPPORT@MCADV.ORG MCADV.ORG


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"Fear was my Friend" addresses the disappointments in life that creates fear in our spirit. Readers will identify with the author's experiences and be encouraged to disown the fear that hinders us from accomplishing our best." Brenda Wilder


contents JULY 2020 In This Issue

Publisher & Editor Joanne Bell

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Assistant Editor

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Layout Design

pediatric rheumatic disease, ...

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Cover Design Ahmed Alauddin

5 Things To Help Abused Loved Ones Society knows how domestic abuse looks. It’s the entrapment of abuse physically...

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Staff Writers

Mya Bell

Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month Juvenile arthritis ( JA), also known as

Ahmed Allaudin

Staff Photographer

In the wake of everything that is going on in the world today, I wanted this issue to ...

Dr. Brenda Wilder

Dr. Brenda Wilder Dr. Amanda Lucas Kaitlyn Anderson

Joanne’s Desk

Dorothy Stewart Samuel

Features 24

Tabitha Dorcus “To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy ...

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Mya Bell Photos Mya Bell is a 17-year-old Mississippi School of The Arts student....

Tributeto Mrs. Dorothy Thompson Stewart Samuel

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Jenni Smith “Have you had the talk with your son,” a dear friend of color asked me. I ...

Virtual Assistant

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Christine Davis

5 Things To Be Grateful For In this time of uncertainty and confusion in the world, it may sometimes be hard ...

Website womantowomanwithjoanne.com

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Subscribe

Women For Progress Celebrates 43 Years Women for Progress of Mississippi, Inc. is

bit.ly/joannebellmag

chartered as a non-profit, ...

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Allison Gee Burrell and I met in highschool around seventh grade for me and ninth for ...

Jenni Smith All rights reserved. No portion of Woman to Woman with Joanne may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. The management of Woman to Woman with Joanne is not responsible for opinions expressed by its writers. Woman to Woman with Joanne maintains the unrestricted right to edit or refuse all submitted material. All advertisements are subject to approval by the publisher. The production of Woman to Woman is funded by advertising and sponsorship.

Tabitha Dorcus

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Peggy Lee Gotcha Day is defined by Wikipedia as the anniversary of the day on which a ...

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Fall Mississippi Education Options On July 1, 2020, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) published ...

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Fall School Openings Mississippi schools will have options outside of traditional learning when ...

40 Allison Gee & Family

Recipe

Peggy Lee Family What's coming next month: Teachers Celebration

622 Duling Avenue Jackson MS 39216

COTACT WITH US 601-398-6733 woman2woman.joanne@yahoo.com


CLINTON MUSIC CONSERVATORY

All ages: Piano,Voice Lessons Preschool Ages: Kiddy Keys Contact Dr. Brenda Wilder, Piano & Voice 601-918-3026 brendawilder@comcast.net or Shardae McAfee, Piano 601-906-4130 shardaemcafee@gmail.com

Join the Fun!


Joanne’s Desk “I just wanted to be a moma.” “It didn’t matter the race, I just wanted to be a moma.” These are the words that I have heard several women speak when they found out they were unable to conceive. The love of a mother is something that can never really be explained, but is truly unconditional. In this issue, we share the adoption stories of 3 mothers with hearts full of love to share. We share the stories of these beautiful interracial families brought together through love. With our world so racially divided at this time, we share these beautiful stories to shed light on what all mothers go through when the life of their African American child is threatened just because of their skin color, no other reason. With racial injustice still being put on display, fear is at the forefront of all mothers with African American sons and daughters. Family is so important and during this time of peril in the world, family is more important than ever. Having that safe place to call home is a worry a lot of people have never had. But for some, it has been an everyday worry and struggle. This is why adoption is so important. In this issue, we also pay tribute to Mrs. Dorothy Stewart Samuel, founder of Women For Progress of Mississippi. We share her bio containing all of the wonderful things she has done in Mississippi. We also salute Women For Progress in celebrating 43 years of serving the community. We are so excited to share this issue with you and the many more to come. Love ya much! Joanne

The love of a mother is something that can never really be explained, but is truly unconditional.

Staff Writers

Dr. Brenda Wilder

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Dr. Amanda Lucas

WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 32, July 2020

Kate James

Kaitlyn Anderson


Juvenile Arthritis

Awareness

Juvenile arthritis (JA), also known as pediatric rheumatic disease, isn’t a specific disease. It’s an umbrella term to describe the inflammatory and rheumatic diseases that develop in children under the age of 16. These conditions affect nearly 300,000 kids and teens in the United States. Most kinds of JA are autoimmune or autoinflammatory diseases. That means the immune system, which is supposed to fight against foreign invaders like viruses and germs, gets confused and releases inflammatory chemicals that attack healthy cells and tissue. In most JA cases this causes joint inflammation, swelling, pain and tenderness, but some types of JA have few or no joint symptoms or only affect the skin and internal organs. The exact causes of JA are unknown, but researchers believe that certain genes may cause JA when activated by a virus, bacteria or other external factors. There is no evidence that foods, toxins, allergies or lack of vitamins cause the disease.

The most common types of JA: Juvenile idiopathic arthritis is the most common form of juvenile arthritis and includes six types: oligoarthritis, polyarthritis, systemic, enthesitis-related, juvenile psoriatic arthritis and undifferentiated. Juvenile myositis is an inflammatory disease that causes muscle weakness. There are two types: Juvenile polymyositis and juvenile dermatomyositis, which also causes rash on the eyelids and knuckles. Juvenile Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can affect the joints, skin, internal organs (i.e. heart, kidneys, lungs) and other areas of the body. The most common form is systemic lupus erythematosus, or SLE. Juvenile scleroderma, which literally means “hard skin,” describes a group of conditions that causes the skin to tighten and harden. Vasculitis causes inflammation of the blood-vessels, which can lead to heart complications. Kawasaki disease and Henoch-Schonlein purpura (HCP) are the most common kinds in kids and teens.

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain syndrome that can cause widespread muscle pain and stiffness, along with fatigue, disrupted sleep and other symptoms. It is more common in girls but rarely diagnosed before puberty.

Symptoms and health effects of JA: Joints: JA may cause joints to look red or swollen and feel stiff, painful, tender and warm. This can cause difficultly moving or completing everyday tasks. Joint symptoms may worsen after waking up or staying in one position too long. Skin symptoms may include a scaly red rash (psoriatic), light spotted pink rash (systemic), butterfly shaped rash across the bridge of the nose and cheeks (lupus) or thick, hardened patches of skin (scleroderma). Eyes may have Dryness, pain, redness, sensitivity to light and trouble seeing properly caused by uveitis (chronic eye inflammation). Internal Organs can be affected, such as the digestive tract (diarrhea and bloating), lungs (shortness of breath) and heart. Other symptoms include feeling tired or rundown (fatigue), appetite loss and high spiking fever. Diagnosis: A pediatrician may start to determine what’s causing symptoms, but parents may be referred to a rheumatologist (a doctor with specialized training in treating arthritis). Some rheumatologists only treat children, while others only treat adults. Some treat both. The doctor will ask questions about the child’s medical history, when symptoms started, how long they have lasted and about the child’s family history. He or she will also perform a physical exam to look for signs of JA, like limited range of motion, rash, eye symptoms and joint swelling, tenderness and pain. Laboratory tests that look for inflammatory markers and imaging tests (X-rays, CT WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE

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scans, MRIs) to look for signs of joint damage can also help rule out other causes like trauma or infection. Treatment: There is no cure for JA, but with early diagnosis and aggressive treatment, remission (little or no disease activity or symptoms) is possible. The goals of JA treatment are to: • Slow down or stop inflammation and prevent disease progression. • Relieve symptoms, control pain and improve quality of life. • Prevent or avoid joint and organ damage. • Preserve joint function and mobility for adulthood. • Reduce long-term health effects. A well-rounded plan includes medication, physical activity, complementary therapies (acupuncture, massage, mind-body therapies) and healthy eating habits. Medications: There are several kinds of medications used to treat JA. Some control disease activity and others relieve symptoms. Drugs that control disease activity include corticosteroids and disease-modifying antirheumatic drugs (DMARDs). Corticosteroids are quick-acting, anti-inflammatory drugs are given by injection in a doctor’s office. They are typically used to manage disease until other medications start working because of side effects. DMARDs is a class of drugs which includes methotrexate, sulfasalazine, and biologics, which relieve symptoms by suppressing the immune system so it doesn’t attack the joints. Methotrexate is the most commonly used DMARD to treat JA. Traditional DMARDs may be available in pill form, but normally biologics are injected or given by infusion in a doctor’s office. Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) and analgesics (pain relievers) relieve pain but cannot reduce joint damage or change the course of the disease. These medications are available over-the-counter or by prescription. Every child with JA is different, and treatment depends on disease severity and type. The doctor may start with a modest approach, beginning with NSAIDs, analgesics and/or one type of DMARD (usually methotrexate), or choose a more aggressive approach that involves starting with a biologic or DMARD/biologic combo to combat inflammation as quickly as possible. These days, most doctors prefer early, aggressive treatment to slow disease progression rather watchful waiting. As doctors monitor the disease, drugs may be added or removed. Most children with JA will never need surgery, but joint replacement can help kids with severe pain or joint damage. Many procedures may be performed on an outpatient basis.

Nondrug Therapies: Exercise: Regular exercise is key to managing joint stiffness and pain. Low-impact and joint-friendly activities like walking, swimming, biking and yoga are best, but kids with well-

controlled disease can participate in just about any activity they wish, if their doctor or physical therapist approves. On tough days, it’s important to balance light activity with rest. Taking breaks throughout the day protects joints and preserves energy. Physical therapy and occupational therapy can improve a child’s quality of life by teaching them ways to stay active and how to perform daily tasks with ease. Here are some other ways physical and occupational therapists can help a child with JA: • Teach and guide them through strengthening and flexibility exercises. • Help improve balance and coordination. • Perform body manipulation. • Prescribe and show kids how to use assistive devices (e.g. braces, splints, hand grips0 Self-Care: It’s important that children and teens make healthy lifestyle choices and use complementary therapies to manage the pain and stress of arthritis. These include: Healthy Eating: Eating some foods, like those found in the Mediterranean diet (i.e. fatty fish, fruits, vegetables, whole grains and extra virgin olive oil), and avoiding others (high-fat, sugary and processed foods) may help curb inflammation. Topical Creams: These creams, gels or stick-on patches can ease the pain in a joint or muscle. Some contain the same medicine that’s in a pill, and others use ingredients that irritate nerves to distract from pain. Mind-Body Therapies: Meditation, deep breathing, distraction techniques (listening to music or reading) and practicing visualization can help relax and divert attention away from pain, especially during shot time. Massage and Acupunture: Massage may help reduce pain and ease stress or anxiety. Acupuncture involves inserting fine needles into the body along special points to relieve pain. If there’s a fear of needles, acupressure, which uses firm pressure, may be used instead. Supplements: The use of supplements is rarely studied in children, but some supplements that help adults may help children, too. Ask a doctor about which supplements and vitamins may be helpful and which ones may cause side effects and medication interactions. Stress and Emotions: Kids and teens with chronic diseases are more likely to get depressed. Therapists and psychologists can help kids deal with tough emotions and teach positive coping strategies. A strong support system of friends and family can also provide emotional support during tough times. Socialize: Children can meet friends at various Arthritis Foundation JA events held throughout the year, and teens can participate in the Foundation’s iPeer2Peer program, which matches them with a young adult mentor who also has arthritis. Source : https://www.arthritis.org/diseases/juvenile-arthritis.

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5 Things

You Can Do To Help Abused LOVED ONES By Dr. Amanda Lucas

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ociety knows how domestic abuse looks. It’s the entrapment of abuse physically on a spouse, including both men and women; however, mental and emotional abuse can be hard to identify. It’s hard to see those issues in the world of dating because they’re disguised through pretty dresses and nice suits. Many people in everyday life might have suffered from mental or emotional abuse. It comes in different forms, like isolation, rejection, and neglect. Individuals can live in constant chaos and not even know that they’re being abused, or how to retreat from the abuse. Listed below are some clear ways to help them recover from their unfortunate past of abuse, or see it clearly in everyday interactions. SIGNS OF ABUSE: • Being overly shy when meeting new people. Victims can perceive others as being manipulative and may feel people take advantage of them or others around them. Assure them you are a friend with no negative agendas. • Negativity. Negative venting and persuasion on how to see others can cause abused people to feel uncomfortable. This person can be sensitive, especially to scenarios that don’t automatically involve them. They may see your attitude towards others as a sign of negativity toward them. • Abused people are easily triggered. Words can be upsetting. Patience will be key to getting a point across. Saying things in the nicest way possible will help build the relationship, helping those who may not have had a voice previously to find

an avenue to express what they may be silently feeling. • Acting out. Respond positively when victims act out, such as isolating themselves, saying hurtful things, or wanting to be left alone. Give them space to discover their true inner feelings. Arguing with them will only make things worse, but patience and space will allow them a world of reflection. Taking a break from loved ones and friends can be positive for the mental health of you and them. The best thing to do is be a friend and listen. Like most of us, there are a limited number of people we can talk with about what we may silently be suffering. Anyone coming out of an abusive situation needs someone to listen and guide them toward counseling and wholeness. We can be there for those we love. Helping others encourages us to grow as individuals. While it may be hard to be in a relationship with someone who has past trauma, remembering the fact we all have issues may help. Work toward peace of mind and remember you hold the cards to help yourself and perhaps others. When loving those who have been abused, act slowly and carefully! One’s own mental health is also WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE

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Woman to Woman The Magazine

BEAUTY FROM ASHES “To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isaiah 61:3 – NLT)

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abitha Dorcas is a Mississippi native, born in Starkville, and was raised for ten years of her life in Brandon, MS. She is a writer, artist, and advocate for those who feel lost and in need of spiritual guidance and healing. Tabitha holds a Bachelor of Science in business studies with a concentration in information technology from Southern New Hampshire University. Aside from working hard in her studies, career, and spiritual life, Tabitha enjoys spending time with her family and friends, volunteering, and participating in mission trips through her church. Tabitha is married to an incredibly supportive, Christian man and together they have five children ranging from ages 24 to 5. I poured out my story upon these pages just like I have so many times without thinking that it might be time to tell you new stories.Our lives are always moving, growing, and bursting forth into radical directions whether we choose for them to or not. Don’t you agree? Sometimes those changes are good and sometimes they’re bad. So, in an attempt not to bore you to death, I will intertwine my past, present, and future into one article as to encourage, inspire, and promote women to be all God created them to be. I never knew how strong women were until all control was stripped away from me by my ex-husband and I was fighting for my child’s life, as well as my own. You’ve heard the same story, probably hundreds of times, but mine is different. God pursued me all the way to the desert to rescue me and rescue my daughter, who was only six at the time, from her tweaked out father. He was the classic charming, psychological liar most domestic violence survivors talk about who sweet talk their way

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into your life. It wasn’t until after eight years of marriage that I would realize he was a very dangerous man. Then, it was almost too late as he poured gas on me and threatened to light me on fire. He took off with our daughter in a horrible triangulation relationship he had with another guy. He even had succeeded in such extensive brainwashing that it still has me unable to trust myself at times, but God got us out safely. I wasn’t a saint by any means, and I take full responsibility for being on drugs and putting my daughter in unsafe living conditions because we were homeless and living in a tent at the time. All I can say is I am extremely thankful for God’s mercy and grace. Without it, I wouldn’t be here alive and well today. All mankind, since the fall of Adam and Eve, is weak and fragile. Back then, I felt invisible, prideful, and did not claim to worship the one, true God. I worshipped one thing and one thing only: Samuel. Samuel was not my first toxic relationship. At seventeen, I got kicked out of my home over a guy. That first relationship ended with me almost being choked to death. God saved me once again out of the probably nine attempts on my life (NO JOKE!). I have a joke that God made me with a self-destruct button that I would constantly push to see if I could destroy myself. Another joke I like to make is that I have more lives than a cat! I come from a broken home. Violence from verbal to physical attacks seemed normal. I married exactly what my upbringing taught me I deserved to be treated like. My mom, whom I currently don’t have a relationship with because it is verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive and

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toxic, was raised in a strict, violent home. The words, “I love you” weren’t spoken. Fear was a dominating factor in her upbringing and my mom used that same form of parenting when raising us. Children were meant to be seen and not heard, to do as they were told the first time, and were never EVER to be disrespectful, especially in public. My parents split up when I was ten because of my dad’s affair. He was very impatient, absent most of my life, and a womanizer. Much of this had to do with his mom having an anxiety disorder and from feeling like she stayed on his father all the time. His father was really just a hardworking man. God did restore these relationships I had for a time. I had felt Him leading me to write the book. Sometimes, when God is calling you to take giant leaps of faith, people, even your husband, might not support you. You have to listen or it will tear you to pieces. I tried desperately not to write my story. I tried not to resign from my job, which I did recently to start my own business. But when God is screaming in a whisper, you can’t have peace until you do it. It is called walking out our salvation and faith. Sometimes it is terrifying! Eventually, after some healing and in God’s timing, He will bring support back to your side. When you grow up feeling expendable because of another family, even if that’s not the case, you feel abandoned and rejected. Being verbally and physically abused created a gaping hole that felt like it couldn’t ever be filled. I tried from the age of 14 to 30 to outrun Jesus, my parents, my choices, and the bad things I had done. I tried to outrun the guilt and shame and that gaping emptiness, but I could not. At age 30, after being


on drugs most of my life, hurting those I loved for nearly 20 years, and trying to outrun real love, I hit a freight train called the Word of God. I had just escaped with my child out of the desert and back to Mississippi with only a backpack full of our clothes. It was then that I heard the audible voice of God. I am telling you all this because, as a woman, I survived a violent attack at the hands of my abuser. God did not want me dead, but millions have lost their lives at the hands of their abusers. I am also saying all this because God spoke into my life and, just like that, changed everything. I felt like the Holy Spirit said, “If you continue down this path you will be married with a worse man who will kill you. You won’t survive this time.” I stopped dead in my tracks, gave my heart to Christ, and was forever changed. I am telling you this because even if your abuser says he loves you, if he is isolating you, controlling you or material things to keep you stuck, treating you as less than, or putting you down all the time, it might be time to rethink the relationship. Your relationship can go from soulmates to deathmates real fast! I am realizing life is too short for toxic relationships. We must set boundaries for ourselves, ladies, but we can obey in a respectful way. The sad thing is, since I wrote Born Rebel, Renewed Warrior about all I endured and what God brought me out of, I’ve heard countless stories of women who are, will be, or have been a victim of some form of abuse. That saddens me as a human that we, as a creation of the Lord God Almighty, would get pleasure seeing other people’s pain at the glory of our own selfish desires and self-preservation. But if the truth be known, I pity them. I thank all those who were sent to destroy me or bring me harm. They taught me unbelievably valuable lessons about who I either wanted to be or didn’t want to be. In God’s kingdom, that is called wisdom and it’s valued more than rubies! Not to mention, most of the people who have ever emotionally blackmailed you, gaslighted you, rejected you, or just raged at you every time they saw you, learned it from somewhere. Bullies

make other bullies or they feel that way about themselves. They want you to feel worthless, idiotic, incapable, weak, uneducated, isolated, “crazy”, etc. If you are reading this and you have trauma related symptoms or disorders, you’re more than likely thinking: “How can I thank someone who, is or has, caused me a lifetime of pain?” First, it starts with accepting Jesus, ladies, and then it starts with forgiving those who have harmed you. That includes yourself! This is the only way I can explain it. I have had some recent battles that brought me to my knees with C-PTSD. I found my relationship with God was tested. I went from having a Damascus Road experience, Saul to Paul conversion, never swaying for four years, but then, when I got married, everything changed. My husband and I had a lot of struggles with his son. This flung me into a disorder I didn’t even know I had: C-PTSD. I stayed in my house. I went from taking three mission trips overseas a year to none. I even stopped working outside the home. At work, the environment became traumatic and abusive for me to stay after being there for nine years. After I wrote that sentence, I had to stop writing for the night because the experience is too new and fresh. It brought up unwanted and uncomfortable feelings for me. Do not get me wrong. In any of the scenarios in my life, do not think I was always a victim or that I had no responsibility to play. That would be far from the truth. Ladies and gents, there is plenty to be said about humility which springs from being able to admit when you’re wrong with true repentance coming straight from the heart. But there is also something to be said for holding others responsible for their part as well. It is hard to do this when you come from an environment that whispers lies to you all day saying that if you can fix it or take all the blame, then everything in the world will be okay. Gentlemen, you might get offended when I say this, but I had to stop living for a man, worshipping them, and bowing my will to their every whim

whether they asked me to or not. In the end, we will raise daughters and sons who believe that they are not the true righteousness of God, royal and bought at a high price, by the blood of Jesus Christ. That does not mean I’m saying don’t respect your husbands or someone you are dating. I’m saying you are an unique creation by God, willing and able to make your own decisions. Stop accepting second best for your lives in all situations! With the help of Jesus, I have been set free. However, I still struggle. I think the silent killer is struggling in isolation out of fear of judgment. I believe survivors of abuse feel that their faith is weak or they try a performance-based approach to Christianity so as to earn freedom from anxiety, fear, doubt, abandonment, and rejection. After years of trying to earn my salvation, I realized that Jesus chased me down in the desert when I was drugged-out, pregnant, and a homeless mother who desperately needed rescuing. My counselor says that for us to say “yes” to Jesus the very first time is the Holy Spirit giving us belief, which comes from God. So, if you’re doubting, just ask for more belief. When I feel like life is unfair, I pray. Let us face it, sisters and brothers in Christ, Jesus said we would face trials and tribulations. I help others by telling my story and using my voice to speak out against abuse. God sends me a woman who does not know she is being abused in another country and gives me the wisdom to help that woman. That is a miracle! I see him perform them every day and you being here is a miracle. He has not abandoned you. Read all about my story in my book, Born Rebel, Renewed Warrior to experience hope when a rebel like myself was spiritually dead but was reborn to victory as a WARRIOR. I actively speak to inspire, encourage, and help those who are victims of abuse. If you would like for me to speak at your church, event, school, or program please contact me at authortabithadorcas@outlook.com.

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Mya Bell is a 17-year-old Mississippi School of The Arts student with a focus in Vocal, Theater and Photography. She is the daughter of Joanne Bell Wright. To view her website go to MyaBell-2021.weebly.com. Follow her on Instagram @myabell_photography

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Jenni Smith

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ave you had the talk with your son,” a dear friend of color asked me. I looked at her, confused, and let her know that I clearly was not having the ‘birds and bees’ talk with my son at age 6. She said, “Oh my, you don’t know what ‘talk’ I’m talking about. . . “ and that was the day I learned that my very cute black boy would turn into a strong black man. And, he, in many cases, would be looked at differently than my biological white son. I grew up in the Mississippi Delta. My dad was a farmer, and my mother, a florist. Some of my friends had what I would call big dreams. . . to leave the Delta and live in an actual “city.” I, on the other hand, just wanted to marry, become a teacher, and eventually have a family. You know, 2 kids, preferably one boy, one girl, and a house with a white picket fence. Wow! I look back on that narrative and I have so many thoughts and questions for my young self. Lee and I met in the summer of 1997 while we were both summer camp counselors in Panama City Beach, Florida. We dated through the summer of ‘98 when we got engaged, and we married in the summer of ‘99. We enjoyed young married life and did not start a family until 2006, when our first son was born. 3 years later, we welcomed our second child, a daughter. Our life was turning out to my plan, even down to the white picket fence.

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Photo by: Robby Followell

God began working on my heart as well as the heart of my husband. We had a period of unrest. The more we leaned into God and listened, He was raising awareness that we were living, to be quite honest, for us and our gain. He really challenged us, through scripture and other believers, to love others well. One of the areas he brought to our attention was the orphan population. At that time, I began researching the need for adoption. In 2010, nearly 2/3 of the world’s orphans were in Africa. We felt a very clear direction from the Lord to adopt from Ethiopia.

We got a call in November of 2012 about a little boy who was 4 months old. Moses joined our family in 2013 at only 8 months old. You would barely know that 6 months earlier he was failing to thrive. His new brother and sister immediately fell in love with him! He adjusted to a new country and his forever family pretty quickly. I have always said that if I had one word to describe Moses it would be joy! He has always been a very joyful child! His laugh is contagious and his smile lights up a room. From the moment he was declared ours, he was no different to us than our biological children.

To be very transparent, it was not until after we adopted Moses that I was introduced to terms such as white privilege, white fragility, and white savior. We truly had a pure intention of loving a child who had been placed for adoption, regardless of color.

I would love to tell you that we have experienced no judgement or racism, but that would not be our reality. Don’t get me wrong, we have had much more support than judgement/racism, but the intimidating stares and spoken words (from people we know and don’t know) have pierced me. Even though it has been hurtful, it has also opened my eyes to what my friends of color face on a daily basis. I choose to be thankful for anything that brings me to my knees in prayer and gives me a perspective that I did not have before.

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To be very transparent, it was not until after we adopted Moses that I was introduced to terms such as white privilege, white fragility, and


Photo by: Robby Followell

white savior. We truly had a pure intention of loving a child who had been placed for adoption, regardless of color. At the same time, my eyes had been opened to new terms that have deep wounds, and I had to choose to ignore them or grow in my knowledge and understanding of them. I had to wrestle with the difference in helping or hindering, taking over or partnering, empowering or inhibiting. I had to process and educate myself on these subjects. I had to ask myself a lot of tough questions about my own bias beliefs and how I was contributing as a white person to these ideologies. I asked the Lord to help me, to direct me. He began to send people of color into my life, particularly women of color. I have been able to walk with them and talk with them under two common bonds. . we love Jesus and we have black sons. We have been able to have

tough conversations like the one above. That day, when my friend asked me about having the ‘talk,’ . . . that is the day I recognized my white privilege in the raw. Clearly, the thought of talking to Moses about being stopped by police had never crossed my mind. Today, I can hardly stop thinking about it. Moses also has a significant vision impairment, so his eye contact and facial recognition capabilities are limited. I would be naive to not be concerned. The deaths of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd, and the call to reopen Elijah McClain’s case has definitely made me dig deeper into fighting the racial justice battle along side people of color. It’s a battle I choose to engage not just for my son, but for brothers and sisters in Christ. We are co-heirs (Romans 8:16-17 - The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.) We are family. We are also trying to be divided by an Enemy that despises unity (John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.) Thank God for the second part of that verse! I do believe He came to give us Life. I believe that He does fight our battles for us. I also believe that He wants us to sit at the table, (a very diverse table) with our brothers and sisters in Christ and listen, lean in, and help one another. Sometimes I let fear get the best of me and I get scared to ask hard questions. I don’t want to mess up or offend, because I am a peacemaker by nature. I am so thankful for my friends of color who have been so gracious and kind to me during my learning process. I have said things wrong

before and I am sure I will again. But silence is not okay. Adoption has changed the dynamic of our family forever. What I want people to know about adoption in general is that EVERY adoption story starts with tragedy. A lot of people only see the joy of adoption and they dismiss the gut-wrenching details that make an orphan an orphan. Every child should be able to grow up in their family of origin. Unfortunately, we live in a broken world that will not be made right until Jesus comes back. I am grateful that in the world’s mess, God can teach us lessons. I have seen friends and family be forced to face their own prejudices. Some have ignored them and some have leaned in. I see more people in the white community starting to ask themselves the same hard questions that I have been asking for quite some time. Let’s face it together. Being a mom is hard. It is like your heart is literally running around outside of your body. God has been giving me the word ‘partnership’ lately. We were made to be in community. No matter if you are parenting kids of the same color, or a different color, we need one another. We need to understand one another. I challenge all of us to look at each other as partners, not more than or less than the other one. We all have something to bring to the table.

Photo by: Robby Followell

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Things For Which To Be Grateful By Kaitlyn Anderson In this time of uncertainty and confusion in the world, it may sometimes be hard to rise, smile, and feel great about a new day. It may be difficult to thank God for certain events in life. It’s easy to be engulfed with negative thoughts and depression. I thought life would be easier now that I had the extra time to relax and stay at home, but it became a time that fear, paranoia, and depression attacked my well-being. The more that I watched the news and scrolled through all the post about deaths from Covid and violence taking place, the worse my anxiety grew. There was even a moment of thinking, “with all this mess going on in the world, what is there to be grateful for? The fear of death, the fear of walking outside, and the fear of catching a life-threatening virus that could cause harm not only to myself but those around me,” created even more stress. I attempted to be positive, but was there anything about which to be positive? The answer is…YES!! Although things seemed to be bad, there were things for which I had to thank God. I decided to challenge myself to write 5 things for which I am grateful. Here’s the list: • I am grateful to have lived 22 years. I have read about and also known people who have passed away at a young age. I am grateful that I can open the Bible and talk to God, asking for protection in the world, the ability to keep a calm mind, and release fear. I am grateful for each new day and the gift of life. • I am grateful that my family and I have not caught the virus. My mom, who has heart failure, healthwise cannot afford to get the virus. I feared catching Covid and giving it to her. Praise God for His protection from this virus and His continued protection. • I thank God for my church. Over the past few months, we had to worship from home. Even though worship is awesome no matter the place, it did feel weird not

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being in the church building and around other believers. That, however, did not stop the Christian fellowship, communication, and the love shown for one another, whether it was during the service, telephone texts and calls, video chat, or stopping by to show their concern or bring food. We are the church no matter where we are, and I thank God because that helps me spiritually and emotionally. • I thank God for my family and friends. A few years ago, I would have been crying and upset over losing friendships and relationships with family members. It was hard to understand why relationships didn’t last forever, as planned. With some time, I realized that relationships come and go. I remember praying that God would protect me from unhealthy relationships that would lead me down the wrong path. I prayed for peace, and God gave me friends who support and bring out the best in me. They actually want me to be my best. • I’m thankful for opportunities. Over the past 2 years God has opened doors that I never imagined I would walk through, such as being involved and leading a small group fellowship, singing my story to others on stage, worshiping in a public place and not feeling out of place, dancing to tell God’s story for kids in a fun and awesome way, and much more. Being on staff at Woman to Woman with Joanne is an important opportunity. Having the freedom to share my thoughts, tell my stories, and reach out to others is an amazing feeling. I challenge you to write your list of 5 things for which you are grateful. Share the list on social media or privately with someone you feel may be in need. Know and remember that even in the darkest times, God can shine His light.

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TRIBUTE to

Mrs. Dorothy Thompson Stewart Samuel January 25, 1938-July 6, 2018

Educator, Historian, Cultural Activist, Political Organizer, Advocate, Consultant, and Special Events Coordinator

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orothy Thompson was born in Vicksburg, Mississippi on January 25, 1938 to King David (KD) and Mable Woods Thompson. She grew up in Clinton, Mississippi and was an active member of Pleasant Green Baptist Church under the leadership of Reverend Amos Peterson. She also was an active member of the Sunday School program at Holy Ghost Baptist Church in Clinton. Mrs. Dorothy Stewart Samuel’s light of leadership was ignited by her parents, teachers, and mentors who believed that education and commitment to excellence were essential for success. Dorothy’s parents believed that education was the backbone of success and thus they worked hard to see that she obtained the best education possible at that time. They made the sacrifices to send her to the Holy Ghost Catholic High School. At Holy Ghost she was an excellent student, graduating as the salutatorian, class president, yearbook editor and graduation speaker of

her senior class. Her academic achievement brought her several offers of scholarships, but Dorothy chose the offer from Jackson State College for that would allow her to stay home and assist in the care of her disabled young brother, Carl. Her teachers and mentors at Jackson College fueled the fires of learning and serving. She was an excellent student and leader; a member of the Dunbar Dramatics Guild, the Social Science Society, the Student Government Association, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority and the Pan-Hellenic Council. She graduated as a magna cum laude honor student, Alpha Kappa Mu National Honor Society member, and was listed in Who’s Who Among College and Universities Students. While a student at a Jackson State College she met her first husband, Peter Stewart, they married on June 12, 1960 and to this union three children, Angela, Monica, and Peter were born. After graduating Jackson State College in 1960 she became an active member of Farish Street

Baptist Church where she served as Centennial Celebration chair, E.B. Topp Circle Leader, Black History Month Celebration chair, Woman’s Missionary Society President, President of the Deaconess Board and Girl Scout leader. Farish Street Baptist Church honored her as their Woman of the Year recipient and the Girl Scouts awarded her their Green Angel award. She was also a Golden Rose of the E. B. Topp Circle. She founded the Golden Roses during her tenure as

Leader of the E.B. Topp Circle to honor and support church members over the age of 75. Her pursuit for excellence in education and her profession led her to several universities. She participated in institutes and fellowships at the following institutions: The University

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Center and the Farish Street/Main Street Project. She was a Delta Dear of the Jackson Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. She was a charter/founding member of the Jackson Jewels Modeling Group. Along with Lavaree Jones and Dr. Josephine Kelly they formed a Consulting Agency by the name of LaDotJo which kept them busy collaboration around Jackson.

the Margaret Walker Center’s “For My People Award”, and the New Hope Baptist Church Mississippi Living Legend Award. The Margaret Walker Center by common and unanimous consent elected her posthumously to the status of Emerita Member of the Advisory Board for her meritorious service. She was also inducted into the Eternal Circle of Honor by Women for Progress of Mississippi, Inc.

of Mississippi in Oxford; Mississippi College in Clinton; Clark University in Worchester, Massachusetts; and San Francisco State University in San Francisco, California. An award of distinction was her selection as a Fulbright Fellow by the HaysFulbright Foundation. As a Fulbright Fellow, she attended the Universidad de Nationale of Mexico to study the history and culture of Mexico. She held with distinction two master’s degrees: one in History and another in Guidance/Counseling (Academic and Vocational Certification). She held the following Mississippi Certifications: AAA Certification in History and Social Studies and Certification in Academics and Vocational Counseling. She taught in the Jackson Public Schools for over thirty years teaching at Lanier High School, Callaway High School, Enoch Junior High School, Provine High School and Bailey Magnet School. She touched the lives of her students many became life-long friends. She founded Women for Progress of Mississippi Inc. in 1978 and the light of Mrs. Samuel’s creative leadership helped to make the organization a major agent of change in the State of Mississippi. She used her talents in many facets of the community. She was a founding board member on the Jackson Urban League Guild, the Smith Robertson Museum and Cultural Center, the New Hope Foundation, and Mission Mississippi. She served on the Board of the Margaret Walker

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Mrs. Samuel’s honors and activities include: inclusion in the “Phenomenonally She”: Women of Mississippi exhibit at SmithRobertson Museum, National Council of Negro Women’s Jessie Mosley Award, charter member of the Martin Luther King Birthday Commission, recipient of the Thelma Sanders Milestone Award. She also received the Fannie Lou Hamer Institute Humanitarian Award, Jackson Advocate’s Woman of Year Award,

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She worked with Dr. Jessie B. Mosley, Harold Dorsey, Janice Johnson Pace, and Alvin Benson to ensure African Americans were properly represented in the Mississippi Pavilion of the 1984 World’s Fair in New Orleans. She along with Janice Johnson Pace and Alvin Benson produced Mississippi’s African American targeted tour guide. Increasing cultural awareness in her community motivated Mrs. Dorothy Stewart Samuel, through Women for Progress, to initiate the observance of Kwanzaa in the State. The growth of this celebration and the African Marketplace of the African American Art Exhibition at Farish Street Baptist Church have been her most rewarding activities. Mrs. Dorothy Stewart Samuel commented: “I have said ‘yes’ to most


challenges and tasks assigned to me by my mentors and leaders, and I attribute my success to their support and confidence in me. I give honor to God, to my parents, and to those wonderful mentors who have encouraged me to strive to be my best. Other than my parents I will thank My Aunt Claudia, Dr. Margaret Walker Alexander, Mrs. Claire Collins Harvey and Dr. Jessie B. Mosley, for saying ‘Baby, you can do it’.” On October 5, 2017 she married her childhood sweetheart Eugene Samuel who comforted her and made her final months very happy. They celebrated their union at reception on December 28, 2017 where she shared her love for family and friends. She departed this life on July 6, 2018 after a lengthy illness. She is proud to leave a legacy of service, commitment and love to her adoring husband, Eugene Samuel and her three children, Angela Daphne Stewart, Monica (Russel) Wilson, Peter Anthony Carl (Patti) Stewart and her grandchildren: Brandon Hines, Megan Dorothy Stewart, Amber Nichelle Stewart, David Russel Wilson, Grace Elisabeth Wilson, Rachel Camille Wilson, Paige Marie Angie Stewart, Paris Marie D’Ella Stewart, Stadford Mace(deceased) and Anthony Smith and loving and

Tribute

Our Deepest Fear By Marianne Williamson Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness That most frightens us. We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small Does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, As children do. We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; It’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

“Joy can be real only if people look on their life as a service and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness.” - Leo Tolstoy WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE

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WOMEN FOR PROGRESS OF MISSISSIPPI, INC. Expression of Gratitude to Leaders in the Effort to Bring Down the Former State Flag

We know it has been a hard task, the things we ask of you. You should know you are incredibly special for all the things you do. to fight for change in Mississippi. Our members understand the necessity of political awareness and sharing our agenda with our elected officials.

Women for Progress of Mississippi, Inc. is chartered as a non-profit, nonpartisan community improvement organization. It was organized on May 11, 1978 to fill a void in the presentation and discussion of a broad variety of social, economic, religious, humanitarian, and political problems that confront our society. Women for Progress realizes that if “the dream” is to become a reality, it will be the result of direct action. Our founder, Mrs. Dorothy Stewart Samuel organized Women for Progress to be a catalyst for action. Women for Progress worked with early members of the Mississippi Legislative Caucus

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We must speak up on matters of social injustice and inequalities represented by the former state flag. We are grateful to our state legislators for bringing down the old state flag, a flag symbolizing a legacy of slavery and segregation. 126 years after its design, the state flag came down and was retired to the safekeeping of the Two Museums and its director, Ms. Pamela Junior. We are grateful to the leaders who worked to bring down the flag, their hard work makes Mississippi a better place. These leaders completed a task begun during the earliest years of this century and for that work we are grateful and empowered to continue in the search for social justice and worldwide peace. We thank them for being a voice for the

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voiceless and battling the injustice, the injuries to our civil rights, our dignity, and our humanity represented in the flag, a flag designed to honor slaveholders and the Confederacy. We are grateful for your courage to openly stand up for what you believe in. Not everyone has the courage to openly embrace the responsibility that comes along with becoming a leader. We are grateful for individuals who embrace this responsibility with pride and purpose. We need more courageous individuals who will lead the fights against poverty, racism, sexism, illiteracy, and classism. Whether struggling or soaring we must take control of our destiny. Thank you For everything you have ever done To make our lives better.


CATALYTIC CORE Dorothy Stewart Samuel

Committees: Founder, Women for Progress of MS, Inc. (1978) President (2010 – Present) Creator Women for Progress Radio Network (2010)

Education Director: Co-Director:

Angela Stewart

Vice President, Charter Member

Juanita Stewart Brown

VP – Public Relations Executive Producer, Women for Progress Radio Network Charter Member & Second President

Irene German

Treasurer & Historian

Women’s Business & Entrepreneur Committee Director: Tonya Ware Co-Director: Lynette Suttlar Brenda Myers, Mary Williams, Angela Carson, Ayanna Lipsey, Kimberly Hilliard, Addie Stover Voter Services Director: Beatrice Slaughter Co-Director: Debra Sturgis Stamps

Monica Stewart Wilson Vikki Mumford

Director of Membership Development Director of Membership Development

Theresa G. Kennedy Felicia Brown Williams Dr. Corinne Anderson

Administrative Liaison Legislative Liaison Legislative Liaison

Willie Jones

Dr. Marian Talley Chaplain Pastor Tonya Ware Chaplain

CHARTER MEMBERS Dorothy Stewart Samuel, Founder Juanita Brown Carol Robinson Melvine Corey Pat Sanders Ford Mary Burciaga – Nelson Flonzie Brown Wright Diane Gambrell Angela Stewart Lillian Garrett C.M. Lewis Dorothy Hatcher Melvene Coney Ruby Hendrick Aurelia Jones Marie Johnson Sheila Bryant Lynn Shelton Johnson Diane Danley Josephine Kelly Nan Evers Iley Mohammed Clarie Collins Harvey Martha Reed Mable Pittman Cleopatra Thompson Mary DuVaul Levy

Communications Director: Co-Director:

Karen Blue Kutenia Tate Good Deidre Alexander, Thea Faulkner, Shanina Carmichael

Eliza Garcia Joanne Bell

Women for Progress PAC Director: Teresa Jones Co-Director: Deidre Alexander Community Outreach: Theresa G. Kennedy Fundraising Committee: (Open) Special Projects: Women for Progress Lunch & Learn (Established 2010) 1st Director (2010-2018) Willie Jones Director Theresa G Kennedy Co-Director Meshelle Rawls Members: Tiffany Paige, Vikki Mumford, Irene German, Debra Sturgis Stamps Kwanzaa Sankofa Book Club Dorothy Stewart Samuel Scholarship Fund Monica Stewart Wilson, Director Angela Stewart, Co-Director

WOMEN FOR PROGRESS OF MS, INC. Established 1978

www.womenforprogress.net www.womenforprogressradio.com mail@womenforprogress.net Like us on facebook: www.facebook.com/womenforprogressms Twitter: @_women4progress IG: womenforprogress Youtube: WomenforProgress 601-259-6770 WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE

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Our Christian Adoption by Allison Pleasant Gee

Burrell and I met in highschool around seventh grade for me and ninth for him. We started dating at the end of my senior year soon after I graduated in 1999. Burrell and I got married in 2002. We were married for about three years before discussing babies. After trying for six months or so, we were blessed with our first child. I never took any fertility medications or used any medical methods, just a natural conception. Ava was born in September 2006. She was the most beautiful baby that I had ever seen. Ava was tiny, weighing only 4 lbs 10 oz. After Ava came home, I remember thinking “we are done; no more babies” But a few years later my mind changed. Burrell and I began trying to conceive again, but to our dismay were unsuccessful and consulted several Doctors only to be told that I had advanced endometriosis. We encountered a battle that was emotionally draining. I was tested and diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome and I

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eventually had an emergency surgery to remove my right ovary. I began having fertility treatments in 2011. I had major cysts on my right ovary that ruptured just about every month. In 2013 I had surgery to remove my appendix due to the endometriosis and adhesions. After the surgery, Burrell and I were told we had a good prospect on getting pregnant. We started fertility

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treatments again, but had no luck after many frustrating months. In early 2014 Burrell and I went to see a fertility specialist. He suggested that we go straight to IVF, but that we would probably have to attempt 2 or 3 times. I remember thinking “WOW! That’s a lot of money!” Burrell and I opted for IUI, but failed again.


During this consultation the doctor reflected the cost of IVF and our potential for success and juxtaposed the idea of adoption “It has a 100% success rate!”. I remember being so angry and heartbroken. My body was tired physically and emotionally. Our marriage remained strong, but the stress and routine of trying for a baby every month can take the intimacy out of any relationship. One thing that changed in our marriage was that we started praying together. This is something that we had not done regularly. Burrell and I finally surrendered to God, submitting to His plans for us. If pregnancy was His will, then it would happen. After much prayer, Burrell and I discussed the idea of adoption. In my mind I wanted a caucasian baby. I wanted the adoption to be closed, easy, and quick. Little did I know what God had in His plans for us. He really showed me how closed minded I was. We announced our adoption plans in September of 2014. Our devotion and constant prayer was really bearing fruit. One day in October I received a phone call from a friend. She said that she had a friend whose daughter was pregnant and wanted to know if we would consider taking the baby. This adoption plan was moving so quickly, I remember thinking, “oh my gosh..this won’t take us anytime.. but, we are unprepared, we don’t have an agency, an attorney and have no funding!” “How was this going to work?!” The birth mother wanted to remain anonymous. Her only stipulation was that we give the baby a biblical name. The surprising revelation was the unborn baby was biracial. My mind raced with doubt. What will my family say? Am I supposed to do this? Our family cautiously accepted our decision. The fear of the unknown and challenging thoughts about raising a baby that was biracial, was not their idea of what our adoption should be like. The excitement and anticipation was overwhelming. God answered our prayerful questions clearly, YES! We named this baby Andrew. The weekend after Burrell had attended a church

retreat, we received a call. It was devastating news. The birth mother had a sudden acute illness and went into preterm labor and subsequently lost the pregnancy. We were crushed, our spirits diminished. This is when adoption became tangible and not just an idea. This is when we realized that the process of adoption was going to be difficult, heartbreaking, spirit lifting and gut wrenching all at the same time. That situation merely opened my eyes and heart to so much more. I felt God was telling me that if this was something that was really on my heart, I needed to be open to all races and nations. This is when I started having prophetic dreams. This is also when James 1:27 was spoken to me. How encouraging. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” Also, Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the patterns of this world..but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”. I began researching adoption

agencies. I was overwhelmed by the number of them! But, everytime I would research, I would somehow come back across the same one. This was interesting because two acquaintances of mine had adopted through this same agency. The prospective wait time seemed quite long. This was discouraging to me as a very impatient person. In December, Burrell and I picked Bethany Christian Services. We knew that the process could take up to 18 months or more, but we were in it for the long haul. The agency actually told us estimates anywhere from 2-5 years. In January I decided to leave my job to focus on the adoption. There was a lot of paperwork that took multiple months just to complete, not to mention the necessary fundraising. I went back to work at our church to teach preschool part time to help ends meet. This is when our story really begins to blossom! In my preschool class there was an adopted little boy named Moses. He is one of the most gentle of God’s spirits that you will ever meet. It became clear to me that I was supposed to meet him and his family. Moses’ mom Jenni sent me a sermon one day. Chip Henderson from Pinelake

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would read my devotion the Bible verse was typically about “the living water.”,Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” John 7:38 NLT B ut what did this mean? Everything that I heard or saw referenced water. I even rededicated my life to Christ because I was searching so much for what “the living water” meant to me. God was calling me out. He was preparing me for what was to come.

spoke on the one verse that is probably the most memorized verse in the bible: John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. That’s some powerful stuff…that WHOSOEVER... It was at this time that it dawned on me..whatever the Lord told me to do, I would do it. I would listen and I would be a faithful disciple. Matthew 28 verse 19 says: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” I remember having these dreams… they were surreal. One of the most vivid, I was at a waterpark and I was getting ready to go up the slide and a lady turned around and she was pregnant. She says, I can’t keep this baby and then, I woke up. When I

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Burrell and I attended a lovely, somewhat hot wedding for my cousin in May 2015. This was one of the most spiritual weddings that I have ever attended and the Holy Spirit was all over it. While we were there, I met a beautiful soul named M and her family; Her husband had just officiated the wedding. The meeting was a little odd as I made a kind comment about her dreadlocks and her essential oils and how we must have things in common; we soon started discussing music. Her daughter walks up and out of the blue says, “hey mama, you should tell them about your friend that’s pregnant”. This was a shock as we haven’t mentioned anything about adoption. She briefly told us a little bit of the friend’s story and politely changed the subject. Nothing else said, no questions asked or answered. This was God putting the right person in the right place so that we could make a contact. Sometime later in mid May I was back at the preschool working when Moses’ mother, Jenni asked me to lunch. While we were there she shared her testimony. God had brought Jenni and Moses to me to further open my eyes and my heart to a worldview full of His diverse races and nations, full of His children who need and deserve love. You see, Moses is from Ethiopia. I had fallen in love with this little boy. God had shown me that I could deeply love any child no matter what their skin looked like or what their circumstances. I knew that I had so much love to share from my heart, that no matter what, I would love this

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adopted child like I had given birth to them. The afternoon that Jenni asked me to lunch I received an unexpected phone call. It was M! SURPRISE. God was reaching out to me through her! M called to ask if we would be interested in adopting the baby of her friend. The mother had decided to place her child for adoption and M’s first thought was of us. I was so overwhelmed, I burst into tears and immediately called Burrell. How could we say no? This was clearly God’s will, his plan for us was being laid before us. We had only to say yes and accept it. She tells me the baby is black and would be born in two months. Again fear and doubts tried to divert me! “What would my parents say?!” I thought I knew what they would say, and feared how they might react. God gave us the courage and direction to do HIS will. My extended family struggled with our decision at first but eventually came around through much prayer. Every place I went God would encourage me. I would see Psalm:23. “The LORD is my SHEPHERD. I shall not want. ... He will lead me beside the still waters…” and I will follow. Burrell and I said yes to this baby because the birth mother said yes to adoption and because Jesus was leading the way for us all. Our home study was rushed and nerve racking. Talk about a spiritual journey of prayer all day and every day. Fear and doubt grappled to take control from peace and faith. All of the what-if’s that could possibly consume you, tried to take hold on me. I realized quickly that by questioning, I wasn’t completely surrendering this situation or myself to God. Burrell and I drove 4 hours to meet the birth mother and birth father. We were so nervous and anxious on the ride there. What should we wear? What if they don’t like us? What will a semi-open adoption look like? Here I go again....That was the most relaxed, calm meeting that I’ve ever had. God’s presence was calming and reassuring to us all. The birth mother is the most


selfless person that I have ever met. She is an absolutely beautiful, spiritual woman. She is strong in her faith and wise beyond her years. Burrell and I are forever eternally grateful for her decision to say yes. We all discussed the birth plan and things were rolling smoothly. Everything was going according to God’s will. When we asked her what she wanted to name the baby, she said Elijah..and that is just the name that we wanted for him! Elijah was a beautiful baby. We immediately locked eyes and when I looked at him, it was like looking at Jesus. He knew my love for him, and he was at peace. My heart melted. During the hospital visits, we met the birth mother’s father. He is a Pastor and he gave us his blessing and prayed over us and Elijah. Burrell and I left the hospital with Elijah when he was three days old. Our story continues daily now. Ava is so good with him, such a loving big sister. She is so accepting and doesn’t have one envious bone in her body. While we were visiting with the birthparents, we decided to go to worship with them one day. The name of the church was called Jacob’s Well. Yet another confirmation from God our Father. Our adoption journey isn’t over, merely just beginning. Burrell and I have two beautiful earth angels. I want people to know that in the months leading up to his birth and before we adopted Elijah, I had seeds of fear and doubts about loving this child as my own and of judgement from the world. It was through God’s provision and abundance of grace I have come to know a love that I never expected, and to know that HE has overcome the world. It is amazing to look into Elijah’s eyes. Looking into his eyes is like looking into the eyes of Jesus. There is only love and compassion in those deep pools of brown. This is not to say that he is not like most children, we still have parental struggles with discipline and behavior just like any parent. But love conquers all and is the GREATEST commandment. Elijah brings so much JOY into our

lives. He has opened peoples eyes to prejudices they may not even realize that they had. Elijah is love in a ball of bounding energy. He brings a smile to everyone that he meets with his wild antics and playful demeanor. Having Elijah in our life has also unfortunately broadened our awareness of the social injustice and prejudice still common in American society. I have experienced judgement firsthand. Kroger and Walmart take a lot of my energy, and I have learned to be resilient to others’ lack of grace. I have been asked questions like, “are you the nanny”? or “do you want to have children of your own”? I’ve also been asked “do you know his mama”? That one hit hard. But, I responded, “ I am his mama”! We haven’t yet experienced the sting of overt or blatant racism, thank God! I pray that his generation will see the end of racism. The death of George Floyd hit me hard. It’s made me sick. I spent a lot of days crying and praying to God. If I’m being honest, it made me mad to be white. I was embarrassed because I didn’t want black people looking at me thinking, “it’s because of your race that we are struggling”. It’s also made me a little fearful for our future. I know that fear isn’t from God. But, I’m going to have to have that same “talk” with Elijah about precautions that he will need to take as he grows older. I don’t typically let him play alone in the front yard, but even more so now, and I also find myself on the defense often. Almost like, mama bear protecting her young. Throughout Covid, lockdown, riots and all the chaos going on in the world, God has seen us through it. Giving us “God winks” and confirmations that HE is with us throughout this journey. God knows our hearts and that sometimes life can be scary. But today, as I am finishing this article, once again HE tells me that I am safe. God continues to show us the way and that “if we continue to remain in HIM, HE will also remain in us, No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. John 15:4 My devotion

this morning was this: “Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” John 7:38 NLT

PRAISE BE TO GOD, ALL GLORY AND POWER IS HIS Burrell and I do talk to Elijah’s family members often. We want to know as much about his culture as possible. We also talk to Elijah about his extended family, where he is from and how much they love him. Regarding the “white woman savior mentality” I feel saddened that this stigma even exists. We didn’t adopt Elijah to “save” him. We adopted Elijah because God put him in our care. I would like for all women to see each other as individuals and respect each other regardless of their skin color. We are all from the same creation. Let’s love each other. The advice that I may give someone looking to adopt is no two adoptions are the same. But a universal truth is adoption is hard work, but worth every single bit of the wait and challenge. Adoptions often overcome hurts, and broken family and life situations. It took us seven months, which is unusually fast, but that’s how we know this was God’s plan for us. When families adopt transracially, the process has additional steps to educate parents about adopting across “racial boundaries”. The agency wants to be sure that you are educated, prepared and well equipped to do your best at educating the child about their culture, heritage and giving them the best life that they can have. We know that God is so good and answers prayers, we are living proof. We have been blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed and forgiven. Thanks be to GOD! Xo, Allison

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Gotcha Day: The Lee Family

Racial Reconciliation by Dr. Brenda Wilder

Gotcha Day is defined by Wikipedia as the anniversary of the day on which a person joins a family, typically by adoption, sometimes celebrated by retelling the story of that day. Peggy Lee of Clinton, Mississippi, says Gotcha Day is a day of great importance to her. “Each child that God brings into your family changes you. They all provide challenges. They all push and grow you in ways you never plan on,” stated Lee. “Unlike a biological child or even a child adopted while they are young, a child adopted at an older age has some degree of understanding as to what is happening and has happened in their life. They have memories of pre-Gotcha. Our son, Tiki, was 17 years old the day he became my son, our Gotcha Day.”

Peggy will never forget:

...the tears that Tiki shed when I shared the news with him that he now was a permanent son in a forever

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family. ...the quick distrust that he felt, thinking that no one could ever really love him enough to “keep” him, his feelings of unworthiness to be a son. ...the disbelief that he showed when I explained 8 years ago that this day was a forever day; that no matter how hard things would be (and there have been hard seasons), Gotcha Day would never be undone. ...the physical change of posture, the release of anxiety he shows each time he is forgiven of something…and unconditionally loved through it. ...that look on his face when he was told that all our children have the choice/opportunity to go to college. It had never been something most people expected of him. ...the pride he felt as he

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accomplished his dream of being a college graduate – something few ever thought he could do. I’m SO excited about him starting seminary! ...the relief I still see on my son’s face each time he comes home and knows he has a place of his own to sleep in peace – no strings attached. Whether he’s feeling happy, angry, blessed, frustrated, joyful, disappointed, or any other emotion, he always has a home. Tiki has been SO incredibly blessed to have the largest family imaginable! God has beautifully intertwined many lives with Tiki’s life. Each person that knew Tiki in his first 17 years played a part in Tiki’s Gotcha Day. Peggy is incredibly thankful to each and every one. Their time with Tiki has been instruments in God’s hand as He molded Tiki. Peggy is not sure that she have ever


spent Tiki’s Gotcha Day with Tiki! He’s always on the move! “In fact, today on Gotcha Day, Tiki gets to have a time of respite with a family instrumental in changing the course of Tiki’s life. If they hadn’t followed God’s leading, then I would have never known my son,” said Peggy. “So, Tiki…..I always take today to reflect on the importance of your Gotcha Day. I have no clue as to why God chose us, an ordinary, nothing special about us, family to knit with you. But I can’t imagine life otherwise! And when I think of “Gotcha”, these are my thoughts: I’ve Gotcha, Tiki, …..when you are angry and you need to “throw up” on someone. …..when life is hard and you need someone to listen. …..when people want to serve you watermelon. …..when despair overwhelms you and people in your life show themselves to be different than you thought them to be. (Even if that person is me.) …..when people don’t see you as who you are. …..when your dreams come crashing down all around you. …..for each big and small celebrations. …..in the middle of the night when God is keeping you up and you need to share. …..all through the night, those nights you are unaware of that God tells me to wake up and pray over you. …..when you need a bowl of rice (not leftovers). …..when you are scared for your life. …..when it’s hard to see how to reach the future you envision. …..in all the ups and downs the next month, next year, and all the centuries to come will bring! …..Because, Tiki, Gotcha Day is forever! Mother Lee, June 20, 2020

On June 2, 2020, Peggy Lee wrote these words on her Facebook page. It is shared with her permission. Last night, my son and I, spent an hour or so is deep conversation about the racial tensions in our country today. Certainly not the first time we’ve had these conversations, but last night was different. Those who know me, know that I’m a white woman and that this particular son is an African American young man. We were raised differently. We still see many things differently. We’ve both been stretched by each other. But we’ve both been willing through the years to listen to each other and to learn from each other – about anything. I cannot, though, understand why anyone would not love my son. In all honestly, I’m sure most moms feel that way about their kids! And let there be no misunderstanding about it…I Am His Mom (or I should say his “Mother Lee”) and He is MY son - in every way that matters! And the MOM in me has gone into Mother Lion Protective Mode! I don’t like to post things that may lead to comments that are hateful or hurtful. Please respect that here as well. We woke up this morning to the sight of his vehicle, defaced with racial profanity. I’ve struggled in deciding to include the pics or not - but decide maybe the visual is needed. I know that they are offensive to many people - my sincerest apologies. In truth, they are offensive to me. I have spent most all of the day today responding to people who have heard what has happened. Every message was most appreciated! Thank you for the love overwhelmingly expressed to our family. EVERYONE wants to know What Can We Do? My first response is PRAY. *Pray like never before. *Pray as if Your son’s life depends on it. *Pray with the courage to respond with however God might be speaking to you. *Pray for us as our response must be Godglorifying. *Pray for the evil in the heart of whoever did this.

*Pray for appropriate legal justice. *Anne Graham Lotz had a great hour-long prayer guide yesterday! Find it on her website.

Learn

*If you have not already made a conscience effort to learn more about people different from you, DO SO NOW. We all assume that we understand where another person comes from. We do not understand. I didn’t understand before my son taught me. *I posted on 5/28 a list of books to start your learning. I’ve not gone through them yet, but I am. Learning should never stop! *My son has been working hard to help educate others. Find someone to help you learn. Find someone different from you. Ask questions. Let them know that you want to know them better. Go with them to minister to someone else. Leave conversations that are inappropriate. They are not funny. Have the type of friends that you will allow to provide YOU accountability on YOUR actions and words. A FB friend, not knowing what happened to us this morning, posted the following… I forget who the speaker was, but at a racial reconciliation conference I went to, someone used this example: Suppose I was to ask for prayer for my aunt who has cancer. Someone else speaks up and says, ‘well all aunts need to be prayed for.’ Yes, that’s true—but my aunt specifically needs prayers because she has cancer. Yes, all lives matter—but right now there’s one portion of our human family that needs specific prayers and help right now. Black Lives Matter. “But God has so composed the (Church) Body... that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together...” 1 Corinthians 12:25-26.

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New CDC Guidance on COVID-19 Testing for K-12 Schools &

HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTIONS GRADES K-12 On July 1, 2020, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) published new guidance for K-12 schools and higher education institutions. As some communities in the United States open K-12 schools, CDC offers considerations for ways in which schools can help protect students and staff and slow the spread of SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19). Testing to diagnose COVID-19 is one component of a comprehensive strategy and should be used in conjunction with promoting behaviors that reduce spread, maintaining healthy environments, maintaining healthy operations, and preparing for when someone gets sick. Schools should determine, in collaboration with state, tribal,

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territorial, and local health officials, and, in the case of K-12 schools operated by the federal government (e.g., K-12 schools for Department of Defense [DoD Dependents]) appropriate federal health officials, whether to implement any testing strategy, and if so, how to best do so. These CDC considerations are meant to supplement—not replace—any federal, state, local, territorial, or tribal health and safety laws, rules, and regulations with which schools must comply. Implementation should be guided by what is feasible, practical, and acceptable and be tailored to the needs of each community. Symptom screening and testing are strategies to identify individuals with COVID-19. In addition to screening and testing, contact tracing is an effective disease control strategy that involves

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investigating cases and their contacts— typically by asking individuals to isolate and contacts to quarantine at home voluntarily. Screening, testing, and contact tracing are actions that can be taken to slow and stop the spread of transmission of COVID-19. These strategies must be carried out in a way that protects privacy and confidentiality consistent with applicable laws and regulations. In addition to state and local laws, regulations and guidance, school administrators should follow guidance from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission external icon when offering SARS-CoV-2 testing to employees and staff. Schools also should follow guidance from the U.S. Department of Education on the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) and its applicability to students and COVID-19 contact tracing and testing.


While schools play a role in identifying students, faculty, and staff who have COVID-19 symptoms or who have had recent known or potential exposure to SARS-CoV-2, school staff are not expected to directly administer SARS-CoV-2 tests. In some circumstances, school-based healthcare providers (e.g., school nurses, physicians) may conduct SARS-CoV-2 testing in their capacity as healthcare providers, such as in schoolbased health centers. Not every schoolbased healthcare provider will have the resources or training to conduct testing, and accordingly, should not feel compelled to do so; these providers can help link students and their families and staff to other opportunities for testing in the community.

HIGHER EDUCATION As some institutions of higher education (IHEs) open in the United States, CDC offers considerations for ways in which IHEs can help protect students, faculty, and staff and slow the spread of the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19). Testing to diagnose COVID-19 is one component of a comprehensive strategy and should be used in conjunction with promoting behaviors that reduce spread, maintaining healthy environments, maintaining healthy operations, and preparing for when someone gets sick. These CDC considerations are meant to supplement—not replace— any federal, state, local, territorial, or tribal health and safety laws, rules, and regulations with which IHEs must comply. Implementation should be guided by what is feasible, practical, and acceptable, as well as tailored to the needs of each community. IHEs vary considerably in geographic location, size, and structure. As such, IHE officials should determine, in collaboration with state and local health officials, whether to implement any testing strategy, and if so, how to best do so. Symptom screening and testing are

strategies to identify individuals with COVID-19. In addition to screening and testing, COVID-19 contact tracing is an effective disease control strategy that involves identifying individuals and their contacts. Screening, testing, and contact tracing are actions that can be taken to slow and stop the spread of COVID-19. These strategies must be carried out in a way that protects individuals’ privacy and confidentiality and is consistent with applicable laws and regulations. In addition to state and local laws, IHE administrators should follow guidance from the when offering testing to faculty, staff,

As some institutions of higher education (IHEs) open in the United States, CDC offers considerations for ways in which IHEs can help protect students, faculty, and staff and slow the spread of the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19). and students who are employed by the IHE. IHEs also should follow guidance from the U.S. Department of Education on the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) and the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) and their applicability to students and COVID-19 contact tracing and testing. Consistent with CDC’s recommendations, individuals with COVID-19 signs or symptoms should

be referred to a healthcare provider for evaluation on whether testing is needed. In some locations, individuals can also visit their state or local health department’s website to look for the latest local information on testing. One strategy to identify individuals with COVID-19 signs or symptoms is to conduct daily symptom screening such as temperature screening and/ or symptom checking for students, faculty, and staff. These screenings are one of many strategies IHEs can use to help lower the risk of COVID-19 transmission. However, because symptom screenings are not helpful for identification of individuals with COVID-19 who may be asymptomatic or pre-symptomatic, symptom screening alone will not prevent all individuals with COVID-19 from entering the IHE. Screenings should be conducted safely and respectfully and in accordance with any applicable privacy laws and regulations. IHEs may use examples of screening methods found in CDC’s General Business FAQs. IHE administrators and healthcare providers should immediately separate students, faculty, or staff with COVID-19 symptoms by providing distance learning options, isolation rooms in dormitories or other housing facilities, and providing alternative food service arrangements for those who live on campus. As part of symptom screenings, IHEs should be prepared to refer symptomatic individuals to an appropriate health care provider who will determine when viral testing for SARS-CoV-2 is appropriate. IHEs can encourage individuals with suspected or confirmed COVID-19 to go to their place of residence, a designated isolation housing location (if living on-campus), or a healthcare facility depending on how severe their symptoms are, and follow CDC guidance for caring for oneself. IHEs can also encourage individuals to watch for emergency symptoms and seek emergency medical care if these symptoms occur.

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MDE gives 3 options for reopening schools in Mississippi Mississippi schools will have options outside of traditional learning when they convene in the fall. The Mississippi Department of Education (MDE) released its “Consideration for Reopening” plan in June, providing districts with three options: a traditional schedule, a hybrid schedule, and a virtual schedule.

students who study from home will have the option of live streaming their teacher’s lesson via a webcam in the classroom. Lessons are automatically recorded and uploaded, giving the student the option to watch it later. All instruction will be provided by teachers with the Columbia School District for their students.

The plan “outlines a threemonth timeline of strategies for superintendents and principals to consider to plan for the start of the 2020-21 school year” and is “intended to be used as a resource and starting point for districts to consider local needs in collaboration with stakeholders,” said Jean Cook, spokesperson for MDE.

While the Columbia School District is giving students laptops and recorded lessons, Harris said it’s moot if students don’t have reliable internet access at home. Using a personal example, Harris said the internet at his house would lag as he and his wife used it to work from home while their four children also used it to do their online schoolwork.

Options will be updated in threemonth intervals to adjust to changes with the COVID-19 pandemic and will center on academic programming, family and community support, health, safety, and technology / learning management systems. Jason Harris, Columbia School District superintendent, is one of the nine superintendents in the partnership with MDE to create the plans. “This isn’t a you must follow plan, this is just guidance that people can use as a reference when determining what is best for their district,” Harris said, also adding that while his school district plans to have the traditional schedule, he knows some parents may not feel safe sending their children back to school. That’s when the hybrid or virtual schedule will be implemented. For the upcoming school year,

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A detailed description of the three plans and their requirements is listed below: The traditional schedule requires students to be physically present in school with scheduling modifications to follow CDC and Mississippi Department of Health recommendations. Facility and staffing considerations include daily screening protocols, transportation adjustments, routine disinfectant protocols, consideration of keeping students static, moving teachers to limit interactions and assist with contact tracing, creating a plan for serving students and adjusting duties for staff who cannot return to the building due to health issues, limiting student movement, and restricting gatherings in buildings to achieve social distancing guidelines

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The hybrid schedule combines online and face-to-face instruction for students. Schools must meet distance learning requirements. On A/B days, the student population is divided in half, with each half reporting to school on alternating days and participating in distance learning during days scheduled at home. Fridays could be used for tutorials/special populations/ professional development. Elementary face-to-face and secondary distance learning would allow students to attend four full days a week and spread out across buildings to reduce the studentteacher ratio to support social distancing. Secondary students would complete work through distance learning. Elementary faceto-face and secondary A/B day are a combination of the two models above with the goal of reducing the number of students in the schools each day to achieve social distancing guidelines. The Virtual schedule provides instruction provided through distance learning. Considerations for distance learning effectiveness include sufficient internet bandwidth, mitigation of the digital divide among families, implementation of a Learning Management System (LMS) and developed curriculum content, and training for teachers on instruction in a virtual environment. Area school districts will generally decide on fall school options by July 15, 2020. Source: Sarah Fowler, Mississippi Clarion Ledger, June 10, 2020


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WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 32, July 2020

Source: Source: eatwell.com


FAJITA CHICKEN CASSEROLE Ingredients

Directions

• 3 or 4 small chicken breasts (1 1/2 lbs – 750g) skinless, boneless – or 2 large chicken breasts, split lengthwise

• 1. To make fajita chicken casserole recipe: Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C). Lightly grease a baking dish.

• 2 bell peppers, red and green, seeded and cut into strips • 1 medium onion, minced • 1 teaspoon cumin powder • 1 1/2 teaspoon chili powder • 1 teaspoon garlic powder, or minced garlic • 2 teaspoon paprika • Salt and fresh cracked pepper to taste • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil • 1 cup shredded Mozzarella (or your favorite cheese, Pepperjack, Monterrey Jack, Cheddar…) • Fresh chopped cilantro, or parsley, for garnish

• 2. Place chicken breasts on a shallow plate. Sprinkle cumin, chili powder, garlic, paprika, salt and pepper on both sides. Keep some of the spices for sprinkling over the vegetable. • 3. Arrange chicken breasts into the prepared baking dish, and drizzle with oil. Top chicken breasts with the bell peppers and onion, then sprinkle some of the remaining fajita seasonings. Finish the casserole with shredded mozzarella cheese on top. • 4. Bake the fajita chicken casserole for 20 – 30 minutes (if you split the chicken breasts lengthwise, or depending on the thickness); until chicken is cooked through and reaches an internal temperature of 165°F (74°C). You can broil your fajita chicken casserole for 2 minutes at the end to crisp up the top if you like. Serve the fajita chicken casserole immediately over cauliflower rice, steamed vegetable, zucchini noodles, or as is… enjoy!

Tips for the fajita chicken casserole recipe • • • •

You can bake the casserole without the cheese, and add it at the end before broiling the chicken casserole if you prefer. If you like a meatier casserole, add chopped spicy sausage when cooking the Fajita chicken casserole. You can cut the chicken breasts into cubes to speed up baking time. Freeze individual portions of the fajita chicken casserole so you have a comforting dinner for evenings when you don’t feel like cooking from scratch.

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