October 2020 • Fall Issue
Penny Jones Lisa Ripp Tequila Pendleton
Butterflies By Grace Defined By Faith Celebrate 10 Years Of Service
more inside…
KOLEAN SANDERS & THE GENEVA FOUNDATION
Together, we have the strength.
Education
MCADV provides training sessions, special events and resource materials to all sectors of the community, including law enforcement, professional, civic groups, and services providers.
Public Awareness
MCADV conducts ongoing statewide media campaigns aimed at specific target audiences including action-oriented communications to victims and the public as well as building public awareness about domestic violence in various entities within the community at-large.
Technical Assistance
MCADV provides training, support, resources, and capacity building to member shelter programs and coordinates efforts between programs and other community service agencies to enhance the strategies and programs for victim service provision as well as provide referrals to domestic violence shelter programs and other available services.
Resource Distribution
MCADV maintains information on domestic violence resources and services including stalking, teen dating violence, domestic violence and the faith community, victims’ rights, and elder abuse.
Legal Services
MCADV conducts the coordination of legal services to victims of interpersonal violence associated with the shelter programs, such as family law matters and other non-tort legal services in civil court matters.
2
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
1-800-898-3234 SUPPORT@MCADV.ORG MCADV.ORG
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
3
The Talk Show Sharing the stories of Mississippi Women to encourage women all around the world.
Tuesday’s at 7pm. on Comcast Channel 14 along with Facebook and YouTube
Watch on YouTube Channel @ Woman To Woman With Joanne or on Facebook page @Woman To Woman With Joanne Be sure to subscribe and turn on your notifications
We can’t wait to share life stories of our amazing Mississippi women with you
Love ya much! Joanne
contents OCTOBER 2020 In This Issue
Publisher & Editor Joanne Bell
10
Assistant Editor
12
17
Ahmed Alauddin
October is Breast Cancer Awareness
Covid-19,Flight or Fight During this difficult time with Covid-19, society seems to ...
Cover Design
18
Ahmed Alauddin
2020 Census The 2020 Census count is mandated by the U.S. ...
Staff Writers
Mya Bell
Breast Cancer Awareness Month, an annual campaign ...
Layout Design
Staff Photographer
Mya Bell is a 17-year-old Mississippi School of The Arts ...
Dr. Brenda Wilder
Dr. Brenda Wilder Dr. Amanda Lucas Kaitlyn Anderson
Mya Bell Photography
20 Michelle Herrington
Features 22
Higher Education: Tiffany Jefferson Tiffany Jefferson of Jackson, MS, a faculty member at ...
24
My Cancer Journey Michelle Herrington Breast Cancer Survivor
KoleanW Sanders For years I avoided the pain of an abusive past. I would run by ...
27
Virtual Assistant Christine Davis
Choosing The Right Relationships Some of the most important things in life are relationships, ...
28
Website
womantowomanwithjoanne.com
Lisa Ripp Few people were interested in hearing another hood-rat junkie’s ...
32
Subscribe
bit.ly/joannebellmag
Penny Jones Penny Jones, a native of Vicksburg, MS, went to school for nursing ...
34
Taquelia Pendleton At 23, Taquelia met a young man who was always nice and polite. He started ...
KoleanW Sanders All rights reserved. No portion of Woman to Woman with Joanne may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. The management of Woman to Woman with Joanne is not responsible for opinions expressed by its writers. Woman to Woman with Joanne maintains the unrestricted right to edit or refuse all submitted material. All advertisements are subject to approval by the publisher. The production of Woman to Woman is funded by advertising and sponsorship.
Tiffany Jefferson
36
Kicking Anxiety to the Curb
37
Jalisa Foster Smith: Educational Consultant
For over 5 years, I’ve had anxiety ...
Jalisa Foster Smith is an Educational Consultant with a background in E...
38
Home schooling Education: Karin Roberson Cummins Karin Roberson Cummins of Jackson, MS graduated..
39
Jalisa Foster Smith
Jalisa Foster Smith Family
Daphne Pigott Daphne Pigott was inspired to become a teacher while in Chapel as a student...
40
Recipe
Coming next month, What are you thankful for? 622 Duling Avenue Jackson MS 39216
COTACT WITH US 601-398-6733 woman2woman.joanne@yahoo.com
CLINTON MUSIC CONSERVATORY
All ages: Piano,Voice Lessons Preschool Ages: Kiddy Keys Contact Dr. Brenda Wilder, Piano & Voice 601-918-3026 brendawilder@comcast.net or Shardae McAfee, Piano 601-906-4130 shardaemcafee@gmail.com
Join the Fun!
Joanne’s Desk This month is filled with so many wonderful days acknowledging survivors of Breast Cancer, Domestic Violence, we observe Mental Health Awareness Day and so much more. As I think about the Fall season that we’re in, l think of the many beautiful colors that it brings. I love how God is so perfect in all His ways and how He paints the earth with all of these beautiful colors for us to see. I also think about the season of life that we are in with the COVID 19 pandemic plaguing our world. And even though we are living through a pandemic, remember, we are “Living” through a pandemic. So many did not survive this ruthless virus, but we are still here. Still living, still surviving. I do believe that we are also living in a season where God our Father is truly calling us back to Him. I have been reading The Book of Isaiah and it is amazing how the things that I am reading in the Old Testament are so relevant for today. God loves us and He wants us. He wants us to come back to Him and trust Him more than we trust ourselves. He wants His children to acknowledge Him. Isn’t that just like a parent; A parent who loves their children so much and is just bursting with pride for them, and loves for everyone to know that this is my child, these are my children and I will go through hell and high water for them. This is the kind of Father we have, but we are breaking His heart. He’s calling us back to Him. Please hear the call, please answer the call. Please acknowledge Him in all your ways and let Him direct your path. Love ya much! Joanne
The love of a mother is something that can never really be explained, but is truly unconditional.
Staff Writers
Dr. Brenda Wilder
8
Dr. Amanda Lucas
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
Kate James
Kaitlyn Anderson
Honoring Law
Enforcement
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
9
Mya Bell is a 17-year-old Mississippi School of The Arts student with a focus in Vocal, Theater and Photography. She is the daughter of Joanne Bell Wright. Schedule your photoshoot with Mya. Email MyaBellPhotography@gmail.com or call 601-398-6733.
10
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
11
Breast
O
Cancer AWARENESS
ctober is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, an annual campaign to increase awareness of the disease. The National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) was founded in 1991 by breast cancer survivor, Janelle Hail, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1980 at the age of 34. At the time of her diagnosis, there was little information about the disease, and she was forced to make a decision about her health with few options. After her treatment, Janelle made a commitment to help women around the world by educating them about breast cancer and the importance of early detection.
NBCF’s mission is to help women by providing help and inspiring hope to those affected by breast cancer through early detection, education and support services. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. There is currently no known cure for breast cancer, and its early diagnosis is critical to survival. NBCF offers free, innovative programs that other organizations aren’t providing to women facing breast cancer so that no one faces breast cancer alone.
A total of 64% breast cancer cases are diagnosed at a localized stage (there is no sign that the cancer has spread outside of the breast), for which the 5-year survival rate is 99%. 12
“I don’t think anyone is ever ready to receive news of breast cancer, especially when you are preparing to have your first child. I went to NBCF’s partner hospital looking for financial help to cover the medical expenses necessary to assure my health and
approximately 30% of all new women cancer diagnoses would be breast cancer. On average, every 2 minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States.
the health of my baby. I can never thank them enough for all their love, “ says Julia, a patient served by NBCF Programs at Moffitt Cancer Center.
coinciding with the decline in prescriptive hormone replacement therapy after menopause, we have seen a gradual reduction in female breast cancer incidence rates among women aged 50 and older. Death rates from breast cancer have been declining since about 1990, in part due to better screening and early detection, increased awareness, and continually improving treatment options.
Cancer is a broad term for a class of diseases characterized by abnormal cells that grow and invade healthy cells in the body. Breast cancer starts in the cells of the breast as a group of cancer cells that can then invade surrounding tissues or spread (metastasize) to other areas of the body. These cells can spread by breaking away from the original tumor and entering blood vessels or lymph vessels, which branch into tissues throughout the body. A total of 64% breast cancer cases are diagnosed at a localized stage (there is no sign that the cancer has spread outside of the breast), for which the 5-year survival rate is 99%. Breast cancer is the most common cancer in American women, except for skin cancers. It was estimated that in 2020,
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
In recent years, perhaps
Early detection includes doing monthly breast self-exams, scheduling regular clinical breast exams, and mammograms. A doctor can check for breast cancer before there are any noticeable symptoms. During an office visit, the doctor will ask about personal and family medical history and perform a physical examination. In addition, the doctor may order one or more imaging tests, such as a mammogram. Source: https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/ breast-cancer-awareness-month
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
13
14
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
15
16
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
Covid-19, FLIGHT OR FIGHT By Dr. Amanda Lucas
During this difficult time with Covid-19, society seems to be on high alert and exhibits characteristics of anxiety. Working in retail and having to manage one of the top three stores in my district, I’ve witnessed others present a “flight or fight” response. It’s unfortunate some must choose between providing the needs of their families and putting their own health at risk. There are some employees who never wanted to work in the first place, which can be shown through displaying doubts and insecurities about who they are and what it is they now face in the presence of adversity. America must remain strong. Work ethic and adaptability in a work environment is vital when facing times like these. As the world continues to change, people must be flexible with jobs, schools, and families. Knowledge on adaptability is important, as well as teaching others about the subject. A leader in the workplace, household, or church must regard that task seriously These tips can help manage others in personal and work life.
1
Communicate in an inspiring way. Speak to others in a way that’s inspiring and clear. Others can’t represent you in your absence if they don’t see you as a leader,. They will not see your vision and or push your agenda. Personalizing the mission of your organization with employees is important. Find what motivates your employees in daily situations.
Expectations are important. Guidelines must be clear so employees can be held accountable and know the consequences of not meeting expectations.
4
If you have a solid vision, the bigger picture will prevail. Stay positive and focused on the ultimate vision for your staff. Morale comes from the top down. A negative leader will create negative employees. Being positive sets the standard and expectation for employees.
5
Miscommunications are usually a result of the lazy/ unmotivated employee rather than those who are invested. Employees who are constantly upset about miscommunication, are frustrated with their daily duties, and must be pushed to be adaptable and flexible may have personal problems. There could also be a weak link in the communication chain. These people usually excuse themselves from the organization. The seed of negativity or unwillingness to compromise can’t grow when it’s being watered by the hope of great potential, the standards of excellence, the drive of an everyday ambition, and positivity.
6
Sometimes people don’t support your vision, probably because it wasn’t their idea, and that’s okay. There could be an employee upset because a message was relayed about a change they felt would never happen. It’s the leaders’s job to communicate the bigger picture, no matter how bleak or stressful. While the leader may inspire some, there are others who may be upset about the mission or purpose of the organization.
7
Being unsupportive at work is the truest definition of sabotage. It’s one thing to come to work and do bare minimum, but it’s another thing to not support your staff or other managers. It comes from the top down and expands. Leaders set the standard and the example. If you don’t care, they won’t either.
8
No matter what mistakes are made, it can be fixed. We know leaders take risks and make mistakes. Learn from past mistakes, and don’t repeat them.
2
9
3
10
Hold yourself accountable. How far are you pushing forward as a leader? Minimum tasks can be seen as boring or delegating. Jump into operations with your staff to provide an exceptional example.
Calculate the end vision when you’re at the beginning. Rather than seeing objectives for each day, look at the bigger vision. Delegate daily tasks to employees on which they can be great, pushing them to be great. If employees see the vision is longer than a daily goal, they will be motivated to excel. Standards matter.
Silence cannot be interpreted. Your silence can speak louder than your voice. If you tolerate it, it will be set as your standard. You are only as powerful as your team. Even in stressful times a leader must be positive, uplifting, and a visionary. See the vision and live it through example and leadership. Follow me on IG @dr.mandi2you or email me at dr.mogul2you@gmail.com.
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
17
2020 Census By Dr. Brenda Wilder
The 2020 Census count is mandated by the U.S. Constitution and conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau, a nonpartisan government agency. The 2020 Census counts the population in the United States and five U.S. territories (Puerto Rico, American Samoa, the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, Guam, and the U.S. Virgin Islands). Each home received an invitation to respond to a short questionnaire—online, by phone, or by mail—in March 2020.
The census provides critical data that lawmakers, business owners, teachers, and many others use to provide daily services, products, and support for you and your community. Every year, billions of dollars in federal funding go to hospitals, fire departments, schools, roads, and other resources based on census data. The results of the census also determine the number of seats each state will have in the U.S. House of Representatives, and they are used to draw congressional and state legislative districts. The U.S. Constitution: Article 1, Section 2, mandates that the country conduct a count of its population once every 10 years. The 2020 Census will mark the 24th time that the country has counted its population since 1790. The 2020 census is the first in the U.S. since the rise of social media and the first U.S. count that’s primarily online. For months, the government has been preparing to combat disinformation campaigns that may try to disrupt the count, which is rolling out not only in the
18
rented or occupied without rent. • A phone number for a person in the home. • The name, sex, age, date of birth and race of each person in the home. • Whether each person is of Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin. • The relationship of each person to a central person in the home.
Venecca G. Green
middle of a presidential race but also during the coronavirus pandemic. The outbreak of COVID-19 has forced the Census Bureau to postpone its field operations, but the bureau says it is still collecting information from tens of millions of households that have been responding on their own. Census workers are expected to make home visits to remote areas — including rural Alaska, parts of northern Maine and some American Indian reservations — to gather census information in person. Households in the rest of the U.S. that did not respond by late April have begun receiving visits from door knockers trained to conduct census interviews and collect responses using smartphones. Most of the census questions are similar to what census forms have asked for in recent counts: • The number of people living or staying in a home on April 1, 2020. • Whether the home is owned with or without a mortgage or loan,
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
A person can skip questions, submit an incomplete census form, and still be included in the head count. But they can be fined for refusing to answer a census question or intentionally giving a false answer, although the penalty has rarely been enforced in the past. Returning a partially filled questionnaire may result in a follow-up phone call or visit from a census worker. Under current federal law, the bureau cannot share census responses identifying individuals with the public or other federal agencies, including immigration authorities and other law enforcement, until 72 years after the information is collected. The Census Bureau, however, can release anonymized census information about specific demographic groups at a level as detailed as a neighborhood. While paper forms will only be available in English and Spanish, one can respond online or by phone in Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, French, Haitian Creole, Japanese, Korean, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Tagalog and Vietnamese. The bureau is also providing video and printed guides in 59 non-English languages, as well as a video in American Sign Language.
The Census Bureau is expected to announce the new population counts by Dec. 31, 2020. That’s the bureau’s deadline for sending to the president numbers for the reapportionment of congressional seats, which goes into effect beginning with the 2022 elections. 2020 census data used for state and local redistricting are set to be released by March 31, 2021. The bureau is planning to release other new census data beginning in spring 2021. Venecca G. Green, a census worker, received an email from the Census Bureau explaining the need for people to work collecting information for the 2020 Census. Believing that this was a public service that she needed to do, she applied. In August, Venecca received a telephone call asking if she still desired to work for the 2020 census. A requirement was that she be able to work a minimum of 20 hours a week. She agreed, was interviewed via telephone, and chosen for the job of Enumerator. She passed the background check and successfully completed the training and examination. As an Enumerator, Venecca collects census data from households who did not respond to the mailed 2020 census forms. A typical day for her is: go door-todoor to interview a member of the family or an eligible respondent at least 15 years old. Before starting the interview, she must assure she has the correct address. If the person/family lived at the address on April 1, 2020, she records the number of people who also lived at the address on that date, collect names, the relationship of members of the household, their gender, dates of birth, age as of April 1, 2020, and race/national origin. If the person/family did not live at
the address as of April 1, 2020, they can be a proxy, if they know any information about who lived there on April 1, 2020. If a person/ family did not live at the address on April 1, 2020, Venecca asks if they responded to the census for the address where they lived on April 1, 2020. If they did, she concludes the interview. If they did not, she collects data for their residence on April 1, 2020. To collect the data, she has an I-Phone loaded with a program called Field Data Collection (FDC), which contains a case list, her work availability, work schedule, and other tools to assist her work. Venecca finds fulfillment in knowing that she’s doing an important and vital job for her country. She encounters citizens who are apologetic for not previously responding. She met a family who had a week old baby. The mother was not able to stand at the door to give the interview, and the father, who was working from home, could not do the interview at the time she was there. The mother agreed to do the interview by telephone while Venecca sat in her car in front of the house. As she completed the interview, the husband rushed to her car frantic because he was afraid that his family would not be counted in the 2020 Census. When she told him that his wife provided their information over the telephone, his face was relieved and happy. Most of Venecca’s experiences collecting census information were positive. One negative experience was an event where a very rude lady called the police about her. The police arrived and told her to continue with her work, which made the woman more angry. Because of the public health crisis, the U.S. Census Bureau extended
the deadline for completing the census until Oct. 3, 2020 The census is easy to complete online, by phone, or by mail. It only takes a few minutes, so it’s best complete it as soon as possible. It’s not too late to respond. The Census is only taken every 10 years, and this important data impacts our country, state and local communities. The results of the 2020 Census will help determine how hundreds of billions of dollars in federal funding flow into communities every year for the next decade. That funding impacts plans for highways, support for firefighters, families in need during natural disasters, and school lunches. Venecca Green is a native Mississippian born in Jackson and educated in the Jackson Public School System. She has a Bachelor of Science and a Masters of Business Administration from Jackson State University, plus a degree from the MS College School of Law. She works full time in her own law practice, Venecca G. Green & Assoc., LLC. Her active civil practice includes all areas of the law, managing cases that involve personal injury, family matters, divorce, child support, guardianships, name changes, expungements, probate, wills, estates matters, and property rights. Venecca is a certified tennis professional, avid tennis player, and coach. She is the oldest of nine girls and has a son, Marty. In addition she has a granddaughter, Brittany, and a great grandson, Donavan. Johnnie Mae Pepper, Venecca’s Mom, instilled in her Christian principles, to have a heart of giving, a desire for sharing what she has, and the importance of having compassion for others.
Sources: 2020census.gov/en/what-is-2020-census.html; .npr.org/2019/03/31/707899218/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-2020-census; Venecca Green interview 9/13/20
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
19
Higher Education
Tiffany Jefferson T
iffany Jefferson of Jackson, MS, a faculty member at Hinds Community College earned her B.S. in Marketing from Oklahoma State university, a Master of Education in Dance Curriculum and Instruction from Wichita State University, and is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Educational Administration from Jackson State University. Tiffany says her family is hilarious and are definitely not shy of personality. Her husband is Joe Jefferson, and her oldest son, Jordan, is a Rhodes Scholar Finalist and will be attending Harvard in the fall for his Masters Degree. Her daughters are Jones, age 10, and Kennedy, age 9. Tiffany lovingly calls them BB and CC. The inspiration for a career in education first began with Tiffany’s family. “I come from a long line of educators. Even though I tried to avoid it, it’s in my blood. I am proud to say that my fraternal great grandfather was a principal at an all black high school. My great aunt is a professor at a university, and many of my aunts were educators, My mother is a retired high school guidance counselor, who worked for over 40 years and was excellent at her job.” The first set of challenges in Tiffany’s educational career came from her attempting to avoid teaching. Her second set of challenges came from adjusting to the huge dynamic between the inner city and suburbia communities. Her current challenge is working with students who seem to be complacent. For the classroom, Tiffany has several teaching philosophies; however, she believes that students need to be met where they are: connect before correct. She and her
20
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
Some favorite scriptures for Tiffany are: Proverbs 22:6 ESV “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Exodus 20:12 ESV “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Matthew 3:17 ESV “And behold, a voice from heaven said, This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Ecclesiastes Quotes: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a
time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
students are a team. One cannot exist without the other; therefore, they need each other. Tiffany uses her skills in numerous community activities: Dance Works Studios of Clinton, New Stage Theater of Jackson, Mississippi Elite Cheer and Tumbling, The Movement of Mississippi, Hinds County School District, Jackson Public Schools, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Jackson State University, Southwest Jackson Soccer League, YMCA, NAACP, Word of Life Church, Young Gifted and Empowered, and the Jackson Music Awards Association.
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
21
MY CANCER JOURNEY Michelle Herrington BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR By Dr. Brenda Box Wilder
I
g rew up in Columbus, MS, where my parents, Darriel and Judy Pulliam, still reside. I have two amazing sisters who live with their families in Florida. I graduated from Caldwell High School in 1992 and Mississippi University for Women in 1996 with a degree in elementary education. It was in Columbus that I began my teaching career at Cook Elementary in 1997. I also met and married my husband, Les Herrington, at my home church, Fairview Baptist, in the same year. Les and I moved to Brandon in 2002 where we are still residents. We have two children, Trey, who is a junior at MSU, and Anna Katherine, who is a Freshman at Ole Miss. I have been employed in the Rankin County School District since 2006. I have been the instructional coach at McLaurin Elementary for the past four years. Prior to receiving the diagnosis of breast cancer, I did not have ANY symptoms, in fact, I have no history of breast cancer in my family. I was diagnosed in November of 2017. I’ll never forget hearing the words of the doctor saying to me, “Michelle, it isn’t what we were hoping to find out. You have breast cancer.” I was at the beauty salon with my daughter, Anna Katherine, getting her ready for her sophomore beauty and beau review. I was stunned. You never really think you will hear those words. You always think- that won’t happen to me. The
22
feeling of that particular moment in time will never leave me. Thinking back on it gives me a nauseous feeing to this day. But God is good….. I went through the rest of the evening not uttering a word of it to my sweet daughter so that she could savor every moment of her special day. She was chosen as a beauty and I prayed to God to see fit to let me be there for the
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
next year. My team of doctors (when you have cancer, it takes a team of doctors, and they become like your family) decided I would start chemo IMMEDIATELYlike the next week. I will also never forget the words of my surgeon. He said to Les and I, “The next year of your life will not be your own.” It took
some time for that to register, but he was spot on- it was an ENTIRE year of doctor’s appointments, treatments, scans, surgeries, physical therapy, radiation- you name it- I had it. IT. WAS. EXHAUSTING. I received my port one day and started a year’s worth of chemo the next day. I was terrified, but I wanted to live, so I carried on. I had what I called 6 BAD chemo treatments (one every three weeks) and then I took Herceptin for the rest of the year. While taking the Herceptin, I had a double bilateral mastectomy. Once I recovered from that surgery, I started radiation. I didn’t know that you go every day for a treatment when you receive radiation. But God is good…… I was able to receive it during the summer. You see, I’m a teacher, so what a coincidence- right? Nope! I don’t believe that for a second. The real plan for combatting cancer….. prayer, a positive attitude, and perfectly placed people in my life. Have I mentioned God is good? He is. I remember at the end of my year of treatments, my oncologist said, “We won’t do scans unless something looks off in your bloodwork from this point forward. You’re in a good place and I believe you are cured of this.” At every check-up, I am filled with gratitude for another few months of life. I don’t think I will ever take time I get on this earth for granted. It is a gift. God gave me strength to walk this journey. I always said about myself that I wasn’t strong enough to be able to withstand a storm like cancer. I would look at other women and think, “Man, I don’t think I could do that”. But I believe God wanted me to see how strong I could be in Him. He wanted me to see His hand carry me and protect me in this journey. I would never have chosen to go through this, but I would not trade those moments where I actually felt the hand of God carrying me through it. Until you experience it, you can’t really understand it. The time when a nurse just fell straight from heaven
into the room where I was needing to receive an MRI and I was crying uncontrollably and couldn’t make myself get into the machine. She prayed over me and I could do it. A friend stopping by to bring me flowers and lunch when I was depressed while recovering from surgery. Two friends who were walking their own cancer journey at the same time as me that I could confide in from my church. Oh, the conversations we had…… these women were sent straight from God to help me. My family taking turns to come and stay with me the weeks of my treatments to distract me from feeling sick. A job that was the perfect fit with the most understanding bosses. I had stepped into this job in August right before I was diagnosed. Coincidence- nah! It was God. And my sweet husband who went to every doctor’s appointment with a bright pink expandable file folder pouch to keep all of the information that I just couldn’t bear to read. He is the love of my life and God gave him to me to help me through that time. I could literally go on and on, but just know that God gave me strength and sent me encouragement.
My all-time favorite verse is Matthew 5:16- “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father, which is in heaven.” I determined from the start of my journey that I wanted my children to see me be strong and positive during a difficult time, so I could teach them how to handle adversity when it came their way. I want people to be able to see me and know the light that is in me comes from my heavenly Father. I want my example to point others to Christ if that is something missing in their lives. Being a light for Christ is important to me! Michelle’s advice for women newly diagnosed with breast cancer is to find a good team of doctors you trust. Find a good team of positive people in which to seek advise. Pray and be encouraged by the prayer of others and allow people bless you with acts of kindness.
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
23
KoleanW Sanders
F
or years I avoided the pain of an abusive past. I would run by creating distractions that required my intense thought and full concentration, until I was too exhausted to give my memories the time to nestle in. I discovered I could lose my mind in the pursuit of work and in the conquest of business achievement. Hard work became a convenient way to deflect the horrid memories of being victimized in my early years. I felt it was a better choice of self-medication than the abuse of drugs and alcohol. Neither did I want to seek retaliation by being “on the take” as a promiscuous gold-digger. When I realized I could escape my past by overachieving, I remember feeling justified, thinking, “I could be angry or dirty for what happened to me.” Instead, I prayed, “God, please don’t let me be a bad person.” He helped me by opening doors, empowering me to accomplish many things that I could not have done had He not answered my prayer. So, I give Him alone all the glory. Still, there was pain when I was alone during the quiet times. Although I kept my mind occupied, I still was not free. A few years ago, I had an encounter with God that reminded me of the Moses’ burning bush experience where He implanted a compulsion, a seed,
24
a vision within. In that mountain top experience, I renewed my commitment to my heavenly Father. He gave me an assignment and He was very specific on what I was to do. It involved plunging into uncharted waters, laying myself bare, exposed and vulnerable. He prompted me to tell my story to the world. It was scary because I would be unearthing much of what happened to me over 40 years ago. God was clear that my healing would be perfected as I removed the force field from around my heart. I didn’t realize that my way of protecting my heart also locked me into an emotional state from which I could not free myself. How I wanted this cup to
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
pass from me. But I had learned to be obedient and to follow His leading many times before. I had to believe this time would be no different. I had no idea when I began to rehash the gory details and come out of my shadows that a diabolical can of worms would be opened and released. I had hidden and held it in so long. Yet, as with most victims, the emotional side effects sometimes found a way to resurface. Trusts issues, challenges with self-esteem, deep seated desires for vindication, and the need to compete were just a few. After 40 years of quiet terror, trying to forget who did what, when, where
and how many times, I began to recall and face the events, as well as the emotions that I felt at the times they occurred. I also had to re-live and face head-on all their demons. It became even more clear the trauma that I would contend with as I followed the Spirit. One thing God had inspired me to do was to buy a house, not knowing exactly why. Then, shortly thereafter, He told me to establish a nonprofit organization called Geneva Foundation, Incorporated, named after my mother, the late Geneva Williams. Its mission was to plant seeds today for a better tomorrow by sowing into the lives of those whose needs have been neglected as a direct result of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. The foundation was to also help victims, particularly adolescents and troubled females, to deal with these hardships as they seek the freedom to improve the quality of their lives. The purpose was to guide abused women to a new life course through education, counseling, and recovery. As I began to open up, I was met with many reactions of others, including denial, criticism, pity and surprise. Once, when I was battling with the thought of not being embraced nor accepted by a family member, God gave me a nudge while I was on a ladder painting the 10-foot walls at the Geneva House. That nudge literally knocked me off the ladder as I thought I heard the rear door of the house open. I hit the floor so hard I considered going to the ER. While I lay there on the floor, I expected to see someone walk through the house. I waited, and I waited… nothing. Then God spoke into my spirit, “Why do you need someone to validate you when I have brought you through your experiences?” Although obedience was difficult, it truly was worth it. I have to say it was only God and one or two close friends who walked with me through the murky waters, supporting me as I journeyed to the other side.
are soon to be published.
God was clear that my healing would be perfected as I removed the force field from around my heart. I didn’t realize that my way of protecting my heart also locked me into an emotional state from which I could not free myself. How I wanted this cup to pass from me. But I had learned to be obedient and to follow His leading many times before. I had to believe this time would be no different. I followed God’s leading and began to host group sessions and classes with females. The vision enlarged and the classes were taken on the road around the state of Mississippi where we witnessed Him move in mighty ways. I wrote a book on a few of my mother’s survival tips. She gave me some of these during a final conversation on her death bed. They helped me to cope with the trauma I would experience at the hands of others in her absence. The book has traveled the globe and has found its way into several prisons. Two additional books that I have written to encourage and inspire the wounded
Suddenly I realized I was not alone in the trouble I experienced. Women and girls, even men, came out of the woodwork citing their accounts of the hurt they endured and have carried inside. No demographic segment of our society is exempt. People from all stations and walks of life, across cultural and socioeconomic lines began to find the courage to share. I ponder even now, the crisis the nation is in, the shelter at home ordinances that may possibly lend more opportunity for abusers who are not reporting to work. How many more people are now being mistreated; whether a child, an adult, the elderly? Does it stand to reason that domestic violence increases during isolation due to the pandemic? My partner, Sheldon Gooch, and I decided to provide a platform, an outlet, that would allow the willing to share their stories. I became co-anchor of New Beginnings Radio, a weekly broadcast that highlights personal real-life testimonies of those who were victims, but who are now victors. Often guests tell us the interview was the very first time their stories were told, and how opening up and letting it out provided a release for them. The feedback of many listeners from around the globe, who share in the pain and who are inspired by the victory, encourages me to continue the outreach. As I continue to obey my Spirit, I am affirmed with more of His healing grace, peace, and blessings in my ministry with the Geneva Foundation. The following stories on pages 24-26 are of three heroic women whom I have had the honor to meet and truly care about since our time on the air. Their full, powerful accounts, along with many others, can be heard from the 2019/2020 Archives of the New Beginnings Radio series. https://bbsradio.com/ newbeginnings#archives. Supporters may reach the Geneva Foundation via the web: www. genevafoundationinc.org.
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
25
26
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
Choosing The Right RELATIONSHIPS One can notice a diference when in the company of good people. For example, when I was in high school, I loved the fact that there were friends I could hang out. joke, and travel with. Once those friendships ended, the new friendships are the ones I actually needed. These friends constantly feed positive energy into me and make me feel that I am naturally a part of them and that I don’t have to struggle to fit in. It feels great to have friends to walk side by side in the journey of life.
By Kaitlyn Anderson
S
ome of the most important things in life are relationships, some of which could be a family member, boyfriend, partner, husband, or friend. Relationships can affect people emotionally, spiritually, and mentally and can be a positive influence in life. These positive people are “good company” and can encourage us toward emotional and mental well-being. Individuals can build healthy relationships to connect with a variety of people on different levels and achieve a healthy and happy life. It is a natural human desire to connect with others. After high school graduation, I took a semester off before going to college while most of my friends were in college. I became depressed because I was already dealing with other issues. Once I joined a small group, I found positive friends with whom I could relate, which helped me be much less lonely and depressed.
SIGNS OF POSITIVE, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS INCLUDE:
My friends encourage me to be better and do better, giving me strength and bravery to step out of my comfort zone more than I ever have before. These steps have led to many open doors, and I am still walking through new doors that lead to more blessings. My friends walk with me through those doors. They believed in me, even when I had stopped believing in myself. Christian friends encourage a strong relationship with God, wisdom on how to get closer to Him, and how to not lose faith when life gets tough.
• The opportunity to communicate without feeling judged or judging the other person • The ability to listen respectfully to one another • The choice of taking time for each other • Engagement in positive, fun, active activities with each other • Ability to be honest with each other • Trust for each other • Respect for each other Support for each another
This quote encouraged me to write this article. “Bad Company Ruins Good Morals. Lord, please send the one that is good for my soul, the one that will encourage me to you and not to sin.” This quote can be a prayer. As a Christian it is important that I surround myself with other Christians, those who have the same values, morals, and beliefs as I, who encourage me to do the right thing and understand me. This sets us on the right path toward a happier life.
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
27
Lisa Ripp Few people were interested in hearing another hood-rat junkie’s tale about a john that got too rough. “That wasn’t my story,” Lisa said. “I didn’t come up on the streets.” But she ended up there. A skinny, trick-turning addict. Lisa grew up with an alcoholic mother, introduced to chaos at an early age. But she fought it. She went to a Christian boarding school at age 13 and stayed until she was 17. She even went to Canada as a missionary. But when she came back home in her senior year, her mother was even worse. Lisa did her best to help, but she was eventually dragged down by the instability that defined those formative years. “It got so bad I just joined her. “I drank with her and then began to leave her.” Lisa started using X and acid. The summer after her senior year, she made her way to El Paso with some friends and drank. “I was fine and 18,” Lisa said. “It was alcohol. Lots of it.” Things started to look a little cleaner and brighter in 1989, when she was just 19 years old. She met a man with a great family, and they got married. They even had one daughter. He didn’t
28
Lisa grew up with an alcoholic mother, introduced to chaos at an early age. But she fought it. She went to a Christian boarding school at age 13 and stayed until she was 17. drink, so she didn’t drink. She so badly wanted to be part of his family, so she totally straightened up. Lisa moved in with him on October 20, 1989. By Thanksgiving she had her first broken nose. Disillusioned and faced with the choice of an abusive husband or an out-of-control mother, Lisa was heartbroken. “I guess his fist didn’t hurt as bad as her words, so I stayed,” Lisa said. “He was just beating me all the time.” Eventually she had enough and asked for a divorce. He refused unless she gave him custody of their daughter, and he even threatened to kill
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
her. Scared, she signed custody over to his parents. Lisa said that act was the catalyst that created the hole she kept trying to fill afterwards with the drinking and drugs. She said, “She was the only bright spot in my life.” Here, the story becomes one of prostitution and relationships with offshore men on a timeline obscured by substance abuse. “I can remember it being Tuesday and then not realizing it’s like the following Thursday and not even having any idea of what had happened or where I’d been,” Lisa said. That’s because the relationships she had
at that time with men of various offshore professions--helicopter pilots, shrimpers--were founded mostly on the abuse of cocaine. “I wouldn’t pass out,” Lisa said. “I could drink all I want, and then I could do a line and it would wake me up, and I could continue on for days and days at a time.” And continue she did until she ran out of money and drugs. She heard from friends that men who call for prostitutes usually have drugs. “You’re out screwing around anyway and partying with guys,” Lisa said. “Why not be able to party with the guys, get all the drugs and get cash on top of that?” That logic guided her decision to enter the world of prostitution, which ultimately led to the most excruciating ordeal she’d ever have to face. Sinking deeper into addiction, Lisa started pocketing the money she was making instead of giving it to her pimps. Eventually, that made it impossible for her to work for anyone, and she got skinny and worn down. She began working for herself on the street to support her habit. Twenty dollars was her goal. “With 20 or 30 dollars, I could buy a $20 rock, a pack of cigarettes and a pint of vodka, and that would settle me for four or five hours, Lisa said.
wasn’t going anywhere. “The whole expression on his face totally changed,” she said. “It was absolutely eerie.” What follows is an 18-hour nightmare as LeBeau forced her to perform oral sex on him for what seemed like hours. She did everything from offer him money to free sexual acts on another day to just get out of there, but he wouldn’t let her go. She wracked her brain for something to say--she claimed to have once been a man; she told him she had AIDS… to no avail. LeBeau had erectile dysfunction throughout the ordeal, so he resorted to using a plunger handle most of the time. When she screamed, he broke her jaw. He allowed her to use the bathroom, and while in there, she picked the screen off the window. When she left the bathroom, she noticed an Entergy bill with LeBeau’s name on it. She committed it to memory. “Nobody cares about you,” he said. “Nobody’s going to even look for you.
But I’m going to make sure. I’m going to cut you up and spread you all over town. “I’m going to put you out with the morning trash.” LeBeau was a janitor at a New Orleans public school. When he started sodomizing her, she realized she couldn’t take it anymore. It was either get out or die, but no more pain. She went to the bathroom and stood on the sink to climb out the window. The sink collapsed, and she fell to the ground, sure that LeBeau would barge in. But he just made a fuss from outside the door. She still needed a way out. She noticed the plunger on the floor. She used it, (the thing that had caused her so much pain and degradation), to prop up the sink and climb through the window. The triumph of escape was overshadowed by the humiliation Lisa faced running down the street bare and alone. People simply passed her by, chalking it up to the eccentricities of another crazed street-dweller. Eventually, a woman on the way to a
“I can remember coming off of Tulane, and a lot of the people out there would know I’d usually have a few dollars on me,” she said. “I would literally take a beating in the street and not let that $25 go because I did not just go do what I just did for someone to take the money from me.” It became common for drug dealers to make her eat before they sold to her because she looked so malnourished, so she didn’t think anything of it when Richard LeBeau invited her to his home. Despite warnings from another girl, she went with LeBeau. She wasn’t afraid. “He seemed just as normal as anybody else,” Lisa said. But when they got to his home, he locked the door behind her and told her she
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
29
local Laundromat stopped to give her a dress to cover up with. The people at the Laundromat let her in and called the police. Then LeBeau came around the corner. Lisa identified him, worried she was in danger, but the man at the Laundromat pointed to a shotgun and assured her that LeBeau would not come inside.
Soon she was out to score again, despite the surge of faith she had felt. “I just wanted to die that day,” Lisa said. “I was going to put myself in a situation to either overdose or get killed.” She wrote a note that said, “When you find my body, call Charlie Cummings, my dad. Here’s his phone number. “Dad, I’m sorry.”
When the police arrived, Lisa gave them LeBeau’s name, fighting through the pain to speak with a broken jaw. “I remember telling them that, you know, you play in the street, you get hit by a car,” Lisa said. She was taken to the hospital, where the doctors examined her and did a rape kit. Her brain was bleeding, and her jaw was broken. The doctors wired her jaw shut and sent her on her way.
But before she could do any harm to herself, she was approached by two officers and arrested for outstanding warrants. To this day, she credits the officers with saving her life. Lisa’s road to recovery began while she was serving a 3-year sentence for the crime against nature and cocaine residue. During that time, she read a Recovery Bible, front to back, many times over. She made a commitment to live for Christ and used her time in prison to get clean. She was almost released early a few times. But she was sent back on technicalities. She believes she needed more time to truly better herself.
“There was no place for me to go but back on the street,” Lisa said. As she was walking two days later, a car pulled up, and Lisa decided to see if she could get any sympathy money. The man offered her $20 “just to touch it.” She agreed. After all, she needed to get high. But the man was with the NOPD. It was a crime against nature sting. Oral sex is classified as a crime against nature, which at the time of her arrest was a felony, while soliciting prostitution was only a misdemeanor. Lisa was arrested just two days after her rape for crimes against nature, even though her jaw was wired shut, making her completely incapable of performing such an act. In jail, she was subject to more ridicule. Inmates called her “raccoon bitch,” because of her black eyes. “Even deputies were laughing at me,” Lisa said. Lisa bonded out and immediately went out to score. She cut the wires out of her mouth by herself and got high. She was diving head-first back into the mess that nearly got her killed. But then her mother passed away, and Lisa did something she hadn’t in 15 years. She prayed. It wasn’t enough to pull her from the depths yet, but she says it was a step in the right direction.
30
When she got out, she had to register as a sex offender and send out cards to all her neighbors, so she began contacting the D.A.’s office regularly. That’s how she found out that LeBeau had been let go. The reason? The D.A.’s office “couldn’t find the witness.” She wouldn’t have been hard to find at the time. She was in prison. “To say that they’re not going to go forward because they can’t find the witness is just bologna,” She said. “They had enough to prosecute LeBeau when they had him, and they just chose not to do it.” After more battles with alcohol and jail, Lisa re-married and had two children. She began focusing on rebuilding her life and enjoying her family. All was well until one day she pulled up the inmate locator for the state and saw LaBeau’s face, after many years of expecting to hear about him. She just knew he was going to rape, and possibly, kill again. There he was being charged and convicted for the same thing. She too pursued justice and he was convicted as well
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
for the 19-hour ordeal he put her through. “The judge that saved my life, that had the wisdom to put me in jail,” Lisa said, “was the same one that would give me justice 11 years later.” Eleven years. Eleven years spent waiting on someone to listen. In that time, Lisa’s attacker was able to hurt another woman. “Would they have done something differently if I were an Old Metairie housewife?” Lisa ponders. “I have to believe that because of this, a lot of good things are happening now. Lisa has spent many years improving the judicial protocols as they pertain to assisting victims pursuing justice. One way is through Lisa’s Rooms, comfortable areas which are set aside for witnesses and victims. She noticed that the rooms where they waited were cold, bare and unfriendly. When a child or other hurt person entered to await a court appearance, the surroundings made them feel intimidated and inhibited. The courts have allowed her to furnish rooms designated just for them, with toys and stuffed animals for children, and other amenities for adult victims. These efforts have proven to yield a higher conviction rate in the districts she has furnished and set up. Lisa Ripp makes as different in the lives of so many people, using her trials as a means of pulling others up for the pit of addiction and abuse. Stories like hers are not uncommon, and that’s why Lisa now puts her time toward helping girls who find themselves in similar situations. She understands how easy it is to let your environment tear you down to nothing. Lisa Ripp’s story can be heard on a previous episode of New Beginnings Radio co-hosted by Ministers Kolean W. Sanders and Sheldon Gooch https://bbsradio.com/podcast/newbeginnings-january-25-2020 Written by Sheldon Gooch September 2020
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
31
PENNY JONES
Penny Jones, a native of Vicksburg, MS, went to school for nursing because she always had a burning desire to help others. But her education had to take the back burner with the birth of her first daughter. Though she longed to go back to school, she realized she had to work and pay the bills. With chidings and encouragement from friends and family, she decided to go to worked at the Vicksburg Police Department. From the time she joined the police force in 1999, she has been an advocate for domestic violence. She remembers it being an eye-opener when she discovered there were three to four hundred calls per year, an average of more than one every day. Fellow male officers recognized her concern and special interest in helping the victims. Eventually she would head up the domestic violence division for the department where she witnessed every kind of abusive situation that could occur. Penny Jones has enjoyed quite a successful law enforcement career with the Vicksburg Police Department, having worked as an agent in the
32
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
goal setting. The purpose is to regain one’s dignity and to graduate them empowered to live again. Supporters may reach Penny Jones at www.thepenicenter.com, or thepenicenter@gmail.com. Penny Jones’ story can be heard on a previous episode of New Beginnings Radio co-hosted by Ministers Kolean W. Sanders and Sheldon Gooch https://bbsradio.com/podcast/newbeginnings-january-11-2020 Written by: Sheldon Gooch September 2020
In the 20 plus years on the force, she has kept her hand on the pulse of issues of abuse and domestic violence. She remembers once being a victim of her boyfriend as a young teenager. narcotics and homicide divisions. She has been a detective, the patrol commander, and she has run the shift as the watch commander. Ms. Jones currently holds the highly esteemed position of Deputy Chief. Jones fulfilled her dream of returning to school, earning a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice/ Law Enforcement as well as a master’s degree from Alcorn State University where she teaches police logistics. She is likewise a professor in criminology. She is considering the pursuit of another masters, or perhaps, a PhD. She has received the #1 Top Cop in Mississippi for her work in domestic violence. In the 20 plus years on the force, she has kept her hand on the pulse of issues of abuse and domestic violence. She remembers once being a victim of her boyfriend as a young teenager. However, the aggressive rebound of her brothers diffused the will of her perp to repeat his behavior. Deputy Chief Penny Jones cites two things that helped her walk away from abuse and its effects. For one, when
she watched her brothers retaliate against her boyfriend for hitting her as a teenager, she knew she didn’t want to be the reason any of her brothers went to jail for hurting anyone she was with. The other thing that helped her to get free from the pain of domestic violence is helping other victims. The more she makes the difference in the lives of others, and shows them the way out, the more free and fulfilled she becomes. As she grew to become an authority on the subject, she began to respond to requests for talks on violence in the home. She discovered that many people were embarrassed to admit their domestic troubles. Therefore, she has created a platform where it was safe to come out of their turmoil. Taking her work a step further, Penny spends a lot of time as a liaison with victims to aid in the prosecution of their abusers. To help in their recovery, she founded a nonprofit organization called the Penny Center, Inc., located in Vicksburg, MS. Its purpose is manifold and includes the honing of life skills, financial literacy, adult basic education, housing and
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
33
TAQUELIA PENDLETON
At 23, Taquelia met a young man who was always nice and polite. He started out as the most caring man a lady could imagine or ask for, always helpful and doing nice things. He gave her everything she wanted. He performed like a knight in shining armor, helping with her four children. He courted her emotions, doing everything he could to win her heart and gain her trust. She fell deeply in love with him and thought he loved her.
T
hen there was a sudden behavior change. One day, he came home distraught and frustrated. She asked what the problem was. Out of nowhere he answered her with a strike which dropped her to her knees in utter shock. She had never been hit in a relationship. Taquelia sought solace in her bible. When he saw her in the Word, he came to her saying he loved her, and apologized, stating that he had a lot going on, and he promised to never hurt her again. Shortly thereafter, he broke that promise and she saw more behavior that did not line up with his commitment of love. He would stay out all night, often gone for days at a time. One time, after he had been gone for 7 days, she came home and saw a young lady outside in the driveway sitting in the car waiting for him. When she asked what was going on, he lied saying this was his cousin with whom he would be staying that week. She questioned him further and again he assaulted her. Taquelia tolerated his lies and abuse because she had become comfortable in the home. After all, the bills were being paid and food put on the table. Days later, he returned home with the same apologies, adding a traumatic account of his troubled childhood where he witnessed his father abusing his mother. After he told her that story, sounding so sincere, she felt sorry for him and opted to stay thinking she could help him change. Taquelia had a friend who knew all that was going on and
34
wanted to help. She begged her friend not to tell her family. One evening, her friend took her and the children home after a whole day of ignoring his repeated attempts to contact her. She arrived home expecting to be alone. After getting settled in, and putting the kids to bed, he emerged from the closet, beat her, busted her mouth, blacked both eyes and terrorized the kids. That was the worst she had experienced to that point. She hid from everyone who loved her, making excuses why she couldn’t see them. She felt that she should heal up first to keep this all a secret. She didn’t realize at that time she was enabling him. While trying to avoid this man, he would manipulate her friends and get them to call her to a location. While she was there, he would come out of nowhere and ambush her, going as far as climbing into the window of her vehicle as she attempted to escape. Taquelia moved onto her aunt’s property in the country. One day while asleep on the couch, she felt an eerie presence. When she awakened, she saw him standing over her head and staring directly into her face. She decided to give it another chance and they got back together again for a very short time. The last straw was when he stopped her from going to church accusing her of an affair with the pastor. She moved out and into the house with her sister during which time he stalked her and peeked through her windows, saying he
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
could see her inside her house. She never told her sister, not wanting her to be afraid. The police were called. And eventually she met Penny Jones, who at that time headed up the domestic violence unit for the Vicksburg Police Department. Despite Jones’ urgings to file charges Taquelia didn’t do it. A few days later, she felt very uneasy. She visited her mom who kept asking her what was wrong. Her mom sensed Taquelia’s anxiety, pointing out how much she appeared to be shaking. Paranoid, afraid, nervous, and out of sorts, Taquelia just knew something was about to happen. As she stepped out to go to the car, something told her to get closer to her gun. As she approached the vehicle, he crept up on her, again out of nowhere. He put his hand over her face and a gun to her side, threatening to shoot her if she screamed. He forced her over into the passenger seat of the vehicle, took the keys, and backed out of the driveway. In her fear, she jumped from the moving vehicle, ran to a nearby car, beat on the windows and pleaded with them to let her in. The driver refused and quickly drove off, leaving her vulnerable and defenseless. Everything blurred:
I remember awakening in the church parking lot across the street from Mama’s house. There was a man standing over me whom I asked to help me up. He wouldn’t because he knew more than I did about the critical condition I was in.” She didn’t know her wrist was broken, that her pelvis was split in two, that she had broken ribs, a shattered collar bone, and a torn vaginal area. She didn’t see nor feel the steel rod protruding from the front of her knee that had entered the back of her leg, nor the torn ligaments in the other knee. She had no idea she had been run over by the vehicle at least three times as this man tore down the whole church fence with her body. She couldn’t tell she would later need multiple plastic surgeries in her face. Witnesses say, when the vehicle would no longer run, he got out, came and stood over her with the gun, and was about to pull the trigger. Another man interrupted him, and he ran from the scene. She awakened in the hospital three days later where she reconnected with Penny Jones. Teaming with Penny Jones, they worked together on Taquelia’s long road to recovery while preparing for charges and prosecution of the perpetrator. It was later discovered that Taquelia was not his only victim. Because of Taquelia’s testimony, this abuser is now in prison serving 53 years with no parole.
Fast forward: Mrs. Pendleton has a loving husband, Thomas. She has completed her education, and now owns a barber shop and salon. She says with God, Thomas, and her career she has a new beginning, and everything she ever wanted. When asked what she would say to someone who is walking around smiling while living in hidden terror from an abuser, her answer was they should talk to God. Then tell someone what is happening to them.
I had to learn to pray sincerely, to let it go… I had to take my heart back, and my joy, and my love, and my happiness… I had to take my life back. Taquelia said she also had to tell her abuser that she forgave him, adding that the forgiveness was not just so much for him; but for herself as well. Releasing him also released her.
I had to get myself free! Taquelia’s Pendleton’s powerful story can be heard on a previous episode of New Beginnings Radio co-hosted by Ministers Kolean W. Sanders and Sheldon Gooch https:// bbsradio.com/podcast/new-beginnings-february-8-2020 Written by: Sheldon Gooch September 2020
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
35
KICKING ANXIETY
to the Curb
By Kaitlyn Anderson
F
or over 5 years, I’ve had anxiety that has progressively gotten worse. For the past few weeks, I have had severe anxiety attacks which appear suddenly. The first one occurred as I was lying in bed, feeling comfortable and ready for a good night’s sleep. I suddenly jumped up, feeling anxious and nauseous, a fear of mine. I was having a hard time breathing and thought if I could make it to my mom’s room, she could rush me to the ER or help me somehow. I wobbled to the door, because I was feeling dizzy, and I walked in her room in a panic mode trying to explain what was happening. She automatically recognized the symptoms as a possible panic attack, since she has dealt with them, also. She told me to lay across the bed while she rubbed my head, trying to help me be calm and relaxed. I awoke at 5 am and saw my mom asleep, so I returned to my room. The next night the same feelings returned, but worse. I again sought help from Mom. As she rubbed my head and back, she began to play a prayer from YouTube, "7 Prayers of Peace" by Jonathan McKnight. I immediately noticed that although I was shaking, my mind was now focused on his words. One word stood out to me throughout this prayer: PEACE. Who knew that such a small word could mean such a big thing that everyone needs. My mom continued to play the prayer until I fell asleep. The symptoms returned another night, but this time I was not in denial about what it was, I recognized it as anxiety. Although I was in a panic state, I asked Mom to send me the
36
I was having a hard time breathing and thought if I could make it to my mom’s room, she could rush me to the ER or help me somehow. prayer song so I could go to sleep with positive words in my mind. God has granted me peace, because at the end of an attack, I go to sleep, realizing that I am safe, still alive, and can wake up refreshed. Many people have worse anxiety attacks than I, and medication with therapy may be necessary. It helps me to talk through my worries, and speaking them out loud helps me focus on the
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
reality instead of the fear. One thing for certain, I am on a mission to kick anxiety to the curb, and I will not let it define who I am. There is no reason to be ashamed of having anxiety attacks. Talk to someone and share your experience, because you could help a friend along their similar journey.
JALISA FOSTER SMITH Educational Consultant By Dr. Brenda Wilder for them,” said Jalisa. Her husband is in the Military, and their family lives in Byram, Mississippi. A challenge for Jalisa has been realizing she may never see or hear from her students again in life after they complete the academic year. She becomes attached to each student in her class and believes that every educator should teach as if their own child is sitting in the desk. Every student must be treated with respect and dignity. Relationships
are essential, so each student should be viewed as a human first, then a student. Jalisa’s motto is “When you capture a child’s heart, you have his head!” Community activities for Jalisa include tutoring, and she is in the process of starting a non-profit organization with her daughters. Her favorite scriptures include: “Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13.
Jalisa has two beautiful daughters, Peyton and Zoey, who she says are her whole world. “Everything I do is for them,” said Jalisa.
J
alisa Foster Smith is an Educational Consultant with a background in English. She taught middle school English for six years and became a consultant because education is her passion and teaching is her gift. Jalisa received her undergraduate degree from the University of Southern Mississippi. Her Masters and Specialist degrees are from William Carey College, where she is currently working toward a doctorate degree. Her former teachers, both good and bad, inspired her to pursue education as a career. Jalisa has two beautiful daughters, Peyton and Zoey, who she says are her whole world. “Everything I do is
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
37
HOME SCHOOLING EDUCATION Karin Roberson Cummins By Dr. Brenda Wilder age, I didn’t have the confidence to begin. We enrolled them at a local preschool and kindergarten. A couple of years went by, and life became too busy. With all the homework and extracurricular activities, we felt like we had no time together as a family. Then I became friends with a mom who was homeschooling her daughters. Her friendship and encouragement gave me the courage I needed to start.”
K
arin Roberson Cummins of Jackson, MS graduated from Clinton High School, Mississippi College with a Bachelors in Art degree, and Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, KY with a M.A. in World Mission and Evangelism. Karin’s husband, Will, is a Jackson mail carrier and former history teacher, and Karin is a stay-at-home mom and former preschool teacher. They have two sons, Sam, a fifth grader, and Ben, a third grader, and this is their third year of homeschooling. “Even though it can be challenging, it’s been a good experience to date. We have plenty of time together as a family (too much sometimes, according to the boys) and the ability to travel when we like without having to worry about missing school. Because schoolwork doesn’t take as long at home compared to public school, we spend a lot of time reading, playing games, and being outside. Doing school at home is noisy and messy, and sometimes it’s hard to measure the progress, but we love it (most of the time),” says Karin. “I always wanted to homeschool my kids, but when they reached school
38
“The first year of homeschool was rough, and we spent a lot of time that year figuring out what didn’t work for us. Homeschooling was nothing like I imagined it would be, and almost none of my extensive preparation fit our family at all. I had to let it go, and we spent several months de-schooling to figure out who we were as a family when we weren’t just jumping through all of the hoops placed in front of us. I had to stop trying to control things and start nurturing the education that was already happening all on its own (I’m still working on this part). The biggest challenge for me, though, is remembering that I don’t have to do it all on my own, and we don’t have to do everything all the time, especially in this strange and difficult season of life in the time of a pandemic.” Karin explains her teaching philosophy. “I believe curiosity is one of the best teachers. While I feel it is important to give the boys some structured work daily, I think their greatest learning takes place when the assignments I give them are finished and they have abundant free time to pursue their own interests.
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
Their curiosity leads them into deep learning about the things they love, and the pursuit teaches them important life skills like self-discipline, time management, problem-solving, and resilience.” Some community activities in which Karin’s sons are involved include piano lessons, baseball with North Jackson Youth Baseball, The Friday Program, and a chess class at The Village. Sam and Ben frequently participate in area chess tournaments. They are active members of St. Luke’s United Methodist Church and love living in the Fondren community, sharing life with friends and neighbors. Karin shared some favorite scriptures. “I have read and heard some of the Old Testament stories so many times that they feel like a part of me. I could read 1 Corinthians 13, the whole book of Romans, and the Beatitudes every single day, but I think Psalms 1 may be my favorite. I want to be that tree, planted by streams of water, yielding its fruit in season.”
DAPHNE PIGOTT By Dr. Brenda Wilder
D
aphne Pigott was inspired to become a teacher while in Chapel as a student at Clarke College. Her husband, Ty, was a preacher and also enrolled at Clarke, because they got married first, had children, and then attended college. It was a wonderful and exciting time for their family. Ty and Daphne were high school sweethearts and will soon be married for 45 years. They have two children, Brad and Emily, and two grandchildren. Daphne believes the classroom is a wonderful opportunity to show the love that God has for each of us. Each child in her class was considered a blessing and placed there for a reason. Daphne believes educating the mind without educating the heart is not proper education. A former student once said: “Mrs. Pigott, I can’t say that I remember everything you taught me, but this I’m sure of, you loved me.” The challenges Daphne has experienced in her teaching career are centered in trying to meet the needs of every child in her class. Daphne received several teaching awards during her teaching tenure. Because of health problems, Daphne retired from teaching years before she had intended. She finds comfort in some of her favorite scriptures: 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind.” Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Matthew 19:26, “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible’.”
Because of health problems, Daphne retired from teaching years before she had intended. WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
39
SLOW-COOKER POT ROAST INGREDIENTS
DIRECTIONS
• • • • • • • • • • •
• In a 5- or 6-qt. slow cooker, whisk water and beef base; add mushrooms, onion and garlic. Sprinkle roast with pepper; transfer to slow cooker. Drizzle with Worcestershire sauce. Cook, covered, on low 6-8 hours or until meat is tender.
1 cup warm water 1 tablespoon beef base 1/2 pound sliced fresh mushrooms 1 large onion, coarsely chopped 3 garlic cloves, minced 1 boneless beef chuck roast (3 pounds) 1/2 teaspoon pepper 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 1/4 cup butter, cubed ●1/3 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 teaspoon salt
• ●Remove roast to a serving platter; tent with foil. Strain cooking juices, reserving vegetables. Skim fat from cooking juices. In a large saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Stir in flour and salt until smooth; gradually whisk in cooking juices. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly; cook and stir 1-2 minutes or until thickened. Stir in cooked vegetables. Serve with roast.
Test Kitchen Tips Worcestershire sauce was originally considered a mistake. In 1835, an English lord commissioned two chemists to duplicate a sauce he had tried in India. The pungent batch was disappointing and wound up in their cellar. When the pair stumbled upon the aged concoction 2 years later, they were pleasantly surprised by its unique taste. Potatoes and other dense foods can take a long time to cook in the slow cooker. They are often layered in the bottom of the slow coo
Nutrition Facts 5 ounces cooked meat with 1/2 cup gravy: 380 calories, 22g fat (10g saturated fat), 126mg cholesterol, 467mg sodium, 8g carbohydrate (2g sugars, 1g fiber), 35g protein. TasteOfHome.com
40
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
FIREHOUSE CHILI INGREDIENTS
DIRECTIONS
• • • • • • • • • • • •
• In a Dutch oven, heat canola oil over medium heat. Brown beef in batches, crumbling meat, until no longer pink; drain and set aside. Add onions and green pepper; cook until tender. Return meat to Dutch oven. Stir in remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, covered, until flavors are blended, about 1-1/2 hours.
2 tablespoons canola oil 4 pounds lean ground beef (90% lean) 2 medium onions, chopped 1 medium green pepper, chopped 4 cans (16 ounces each) kidney beans, rinsed and drained 3 cans (28 ounces each) stewed tomatoes, cut up 1 can (14-1/2 ounces) beef broth 3 tablespoons chili powder 2 tablespoons ground coriander 2 tablespoons ground cumin 4 garlic cloves, minced 1 teaspoon dried oregano
Test Kitchen TipsCanola oil is high in monounsaturated fat, a type that helps to decrease blood cholesterol levels, and low in saturated fat, which can increase blood cholesterol. Olive oil would also taste great in this recipe and has the same healthy-fat properties. Lean ground turkey (93% lean) contains 53% less fat and 38% less saturated fat than regular ground turkey (85% lean). It works great in casseroles, tacos and other dishes that use crumbled meat. Higher-fat meat works better for burgers or meatloaf.
Nutrition Facts 1 cup: 354 calories, 12g fat (4g saturated fat), 71mg cholesterol, 657mg sodium, 32g carbohydrate (10g sugars, 8g fiber), 31g protein. Diabetic Exchanges: 3 lean meat, 2 starch. TastOfHome.com WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
41
42
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
"Fear was my Friend" addresses the disappointments in life that creates fear in our spirit. Readers will identify with the author's experiences and be encouraged to disown the fear that hinders us from accomplishing our best." Brenda Wilder WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE: THE MAGAZINE
43
44
WOMAN TO WOMAN WITH JOANNE : THE MAGAZINE • Issue 33, October 2020
