, 2 Woman’s Essence Magazine
Edito r’s note www.womans-essence.com
Publisher Adryana Nicoleta
Editor-in-chief Ojay Milah
Contributing writers Tiffany Jasper Dawniel Winningham Patterson Johneen Jones Preye Karen Ketai Ionela Stoica Lisa Miller-Baldwin Trina Sims Dylan Smith Surabhi Peter Finch Kara Rodemer Sandla Sandi
Contributing Websites www.becomegorgeous.com myfashionlife.com www.egihomeinterior.com www.delish.com
Design Grafx Passion www.grafxpassion.cc.co
grafxpasion@gmail.com
photography www.gettyimages.com fashion photos courtesy of Christian Dior
Cover photo Josette Holt Wyatt for www.nthemoment.com Find us on facebook! www.facebook.com/womans.essence
Woman’s Essence Magazine www.womans-essence.com contact@womans-essence.com
Welcome to the month of love,
when Valentine’s Day is celebrated. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick along with Will and Jada Pinkett Smith made our lead story. In a world where divorce is fast replacing people’s middle names these have stayed married for years. In this inspiring feature, they teach us a thing or two about what love, marriage is and how like them, we can keep the flame of our union burning hot. From these couples we learn that marriage is for the long haul, and worth fighting for. As well we learn from them that if you want to keep trusting your partner, then you two must keep talking and watch communication build trust between you two and help keep your relationship intact. This edition saw the introduction of a poem contest. As an opportunity for you our dear readers to celebrate that special one, we received several love poems for the “I LOVE U VALENTINE” contest, out of which six were chosen and published. Also we had a couple of contributors joining the WE team. New entrant Preye Kekai Karen, aside the
beauty tips classic for staying healthy tells us how to protect those cherished jewelries from fading. While Ionela Stoica teaches us the Essentials of Oils and how to mix and match them, Trina Sims maiden Wedding piece with The Color of Love is a wonderful way to begin. Old timer and one of our amazing contributors, Tiffany Jasper, still with great interest in Parenting, addresses the issue of being alone on Valentine’s Day for the single mother. On behalf of the single mothers, Tiffany asked a couple of over 40 years how they think single mothers can enjoy the day of love. I bet you will want to read what she discovered. For the travel destinations of choice during Valentine’s Day, WE selected four castles linked to love and romance. They are the Bamburgh Castle, Torrechiara Castle, Boldt Castle and Gimghoul Castle. Find many more stuffs to read on our website. Remember you can also like us on facebook. While you share and download for free the magazine from issuu.com, you should know that aside a facebook group, we also have a forum where we discuss everything women. Happy Valentine Celebration Everyone!
Ojay Milah Editor-in-chief Your comments, letters and Suggestions are most welcome. Write to ojay.milah@womans-essence.com
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CONTENTS
24 The Cover Story
10 Fashion Trends
Love like Valentine, Stay Married Hollywood Style In an age in which Hollywood movies end with big white weddings but most celebrity marriages end in divorce, WE bring you some of the best preserved celebrity marriages long after St. Valentine
INGRI:DAHL Bringing Style into 3D Viewing The Paulsen sisters who started Ingri:Dahl almost a year ago in college speak about their company’s 3D glass range that’s bringing style into traditional 3D viewing
Career Management
Fashion Trends
6 Diploma of Business a Wholesome Perspective
10 INGRI:DAHL: Bringing Style into 3D Viewing
Education 7 Can Parents be Too Involved With Their Child’s Education
Culture & Art 8 Some Pointers To The Culture Of Romanian Women
Celebrity Style 14 Mila Kunis 2011 Red-Carpet Queen and New Face of Christian Dior 2012
Jewelry Fashion 16 Caring For Your Gold and Platinum Jewelry
Beauty Tips 20 Classic Beauty Tips
Health & Fitness 22 Essential Oils Uses How to Mix and Match
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50 Parenting
36 Home Decorations Decorating Your Home for Valentine’s Day Your valentine day gift to your beloved need not be expensive but it should be straight from the heart.Red is romantic, because red is the color of love and passion. Red roses mean, “I love you.”
The Cover Story
24 Love like Valentine, Stay Married Hollywood Style
Poetry Contest 32 “I Love U Valentine” Poetry Contest
Home & Garden Decor 36 Decorating Your Home for Valentine’s Day
Cuisine 38 Romantic Movies & Food to Set the Mood
Relationships 40 5 Tips to Make Your Valentine’s Day Special 41 3 Tips for Men on Valentine’s Day What your Lady Would Like This Valentine’s Day
Love is in the Air: For the Single Mother Many single parents are not in a relationship for many reasons; waiting on the perfect guy, being rejected due to having kids or not enough support with childcare to make it to the dating stage.
Let’s Ask Aunty Neenee
42 ”The talk about sex with my inquisitive teenager”
Weddings 44 The Color Of Love
Marriage/Divorce 48 Why It’s Important For Married Couples to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
Parenting 50 Love is in the Air: For the Single Mother
Power for Your World 52 A (Valentine) Note to SELF - I Love You
Travel & Destinations 54 Love Castles to Visit this Valentine and Always , Woman’s Essence Magazine 5
Diploma of Business a Wholesome Perspective by Dylan Smith
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diploma of business provides candidates making entry into the world of business a strong foothold. There are many reasons for getting a diploma of business. Employment opportunities are vast with this diploma. Graduates can work in accounting firms, governmental agencies, the service industry, and large and small businesses.
How these skills apply is something we can only determine once we try to do it practically. In addition many people have the misconceptions that a diploma of business is the only way forward for having a comfortable life and getting better pay and perks.
However this also may not be necessary. A diploma of business does provide many advantages and allows a person to make it big In addition if you are not ready for specializing, you can go for a in the field of business but does not ensure that one will do so. diploma in business administration which allows you to start work as an office manager, or other similar position that requires solid There are a number of self made millionaires who went from rags general business competence, rather than a specific specialty. to riches after dropping out. It is enough to make a connection. However, people harm themselves if they figure that dropping out However that is not the complete picture. Personally I have never is the requisite to wealth. believed that any one education can provide you with the skills for life. Life continues to challenge and help a person learn. The Eventually, it is appropriate to reiterate here that although a diplomedium, though, may be different. ma of business can help a new entrant into the world of business, or provide one with basic skills that can help in the development Many millionaires did not have a diploma of business but went of his career, it does not guarantee one success. about hiring them. I’m not in any way discounting education. Education provides us with basic skills that can help a person in the development of his or her career. , 6 Woman’s Essence Magazine
Can Parents be Too Involved With Their Child’s Education by Surabhi
Being involved in your child’s education is obviously a good thing. But, some may wonder if ever there can be too much of a good thing. Can parents be too involved with their child’s education? While this, like anything else, should not be taken to the extreme, parental involvement in a child’s education is generally considered a good thing.
Research has shown that parents who are involved actively in their child’s education propel such a child to perform better when it comes to reading and math. Along with getting higher grades, parents’ involvement also leads to increased motivation in their children and better family lives.
well as keeps them informed of recent issues and developments. There will be meetings and events to not only discuss the issues, but also to have fun with the children while they learn. Many PTOs host events such as family math nights. Some kids may become annoyed if parental involvement in education is at a high level. I think this may be more common with high school students than students in middle or elementary schools. Many kids enjoy parental involvement and it gives a boost of confidence to them to see how much their parents care.
Because methods used to solve math concepts can differ from what parents were used to as kids, it can sometimes be difficult to help kids with math. However, this should not stop parents from helping their children and being involved. There are ways to get around this, such as online tutoring help where parents and stu This being said, parents don’t have to run for an office at the dents can spend 45min-1 hour together with the tutor by putting PTO or the school board. A few hours of quality time spent with him on speakers. The parents can observe the child learn this way. your child to help with his homework or doing an after school ac- Then, when the time comes to help later on, they will know how. tivity together makes a big difference. It is not to say that a parent shouldn’t be involved with such an important organization as his PTO,Can Parents,Parents Involvement,Parents And child’s school PTO. Education,Parental Involvement,After School Activity,involved with,May be,higher grades,After School,parents,education,child’s Being involved through the PTO opportunities in your child’s ,involvement,involved,help ptolemy,ptosis,child support,parents school can keep pertinent issues within closer reach. PTO orgamagazine,involved with a married man,parent involvement,after nizations help parents be a part of what takes place at school, as school programs,help me,been involved with,after school activities.
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photos: stviatorchicago.org Woman’s Essence Magazine 7
Some Pointers To The
Culture Of Romanian Women by Peter Finch
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omanian women these days have a very cultured outlook. They are highly interested in learning and keeping abreast of what is happening in the world around them. They are also quite good students in general, diligent and ambitious as well. Romanians can take pride in the accomplishments of their women.
If
you compare the statistics from around the world, you will find that Romanian women rank very high in their intellectual abilities. This has very interesting implications for them.
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The growing market economy in the new sociopolitical order in Romania is throwing open a lot of new opportunities to its citizens. Many of these oppor-
tunities are up for grabs for the Romanian women. Even outside the country, Western Europeans are gradually recognizing the merit of Romanians as a people, and the time is ripe for Romanian women to come to the forefront, wherever beauty as well as intelligence is required. To carry on, the cultural level of a Romanian woman depends on her personality and
outlook. Usually the intellectual Romanian woman is unwilling to wallow in the monotony of day to day life. She is always eager to learn new things, to acquire information on different fields and expand her knowledge base. This does not, however, imply that they cannot be vivacious or sensuous at the same time. They can be oriented towards the material world or the spiritual one. Different women have different personalities, and still manage to seem appealing to all sorts of men. In fact, it is quite an exciting challenge for men to unravel the mysteries of a woman's mind. You will find ordinary women in all villages, towns or cities of Romania, women, who have a substantial educational and cultural background. They are not very fashionable, but are not haughty or disdainful either. They do not display high level of elegant or delicate nature, nor are they fervent in their desires. They are not willing to take a lot of chances to live their life to the full, or live dangerously for the thrill of a fast life. They will not debase themselves or put on a smiling face all the time. They could be conservative and sensible, but not very exciting to be with.
generalization of the women of that country. However, the description is perhaps more apt for women over thirty. Those belonging to the younger generation of Romanian women are more outgoing in nature. They feel that to get into a relationship and to make it last, they need to reinvent themselves every now and then. So the current crop of young Romanian women are more careful of their appearance and attire, have a witty personality, and are more fun to be with. To sum up, a young woman in modern Romania is likely to be intelligent and cultured. She can be at ease in any situation and radiate her beauty to stand apart in a crowd. She can also be a loving partner to you. Romanian women are known to be amongst the most gorgeous, chic, immaculately dressed, well read & family orientated women on earth.
These women are not harmful and will not wreck another person's life. They can have a deeply religious ethos and regard mistakes as sin. In short, they could be regarded as nameless and average. But that is not all there is to them. They might still be extremely cultured, though not decadent. They read literature, are well versed in the fine arts, can appreciate modern abstract art or classical music. Their conservative outlook in personal life cannot hide their cultural and intellectual accomplishments. The image of the cultured Romanian women portrayed above is a
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INGRI:DAHL
Bringing Style into 3D Viewing by Ojay Milah
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he trend in 3D cinema viewing has been made fashionable by Kine and Einy Paulsen. The Paulsen sisters who started Ingri:Dahl almost a year ago in college spoke with WOMAN’S ESSENCE about their company’s 3D glass range that’s bringing style into traditional 3D viewing What is it that places Ingri:Dahl apart from competitors? How long ago since you had the idea in college? We started our company in college, but launched around April last year, a month before we graduated from college.
How do you feel about the successes recorded by Ingri:Dahl and the popularity it is getting by the day? We are overwhelmed by the support we have received as young, startup female entrepreneurs. It hasn't just been luck. We’ve been working hard on our company since we started, right from college. It is always very rewarding to see that people agree with what we believe in, and that our hard work pays off.
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Ingri:Dahl has been very focused on the style of the glasses. We offer the same quality of viewing and comfort as our competitors, but our glasses are stylish too. At the same time it has been important for us to offer affordable prices, so that you don't have to break the bank in order to be in fashion.
Talking about stylish, where do you get the inspiration for the designs? Our vision is to bring some of the elegance and glamour from classic Hollywood back to the present. We have therefore found lot’s of inspiration from old classic Hollywood movies and pictures of icons at that time. Also, because we're Norwegians, we’ve tied in some of Scandinavian heritage by following the simple line that our designers are famous for.
Is Ingri:Dahl strictly 3D or are you going to be involved in other types of eyewear designs in the near future? Since we are a young company, we want to strictly focus on 3D eyewear. But who knows what the future will bring; we might expand our portfolio to offer more products.
It can be said you’re in the fashion industry. Is this what you've always wanted? What was it you wanted to do after college, before Ingri:Dahl was created? We are living our dream. We have always wanted to run our own business, but we didn't know what kind of business. Through Ingri:Dahl we get to work in multiple industries, since our product is related to fashion, entertainment and technology. So we're constantly learning, and it is a lot of fun.
What does fashion mean to the Paulsen’s? Fashion is to us a way to express oneself and to add some extra fun in life.
Have you found someone wearing an Ingri:Dahl; and what feeling does it give you each time that happens? We will never forget the day we first had the glasses in our hands. This feeling was beating by seeing people wearing them. It is always a great feeling when our customers send us pictures of themselves wearing the glasses. It inspires us to keep on going. Last year September, Sony Pictures stated in a press release that they will not be giving away free 3D glasses at the theaters this year. For a company like Ingri:Dahl, whose glasses can be used for 3D TVs as well, it only means one thing, more patronage. And for 3D viewers who patronize them, the comfort to choose their style. , Woman’s Essence Magazine 11
Ingri:Dahl www.ingridahl.com , 12 Woman’s Essence Magazine
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mila kunis 2011 - Red-Carpet Queen and New Face of Christian Dior 2012 I
t may just have been the actress's turn in a lilac Elie Saab that sealed her fate as red-carpet queen of the year. The Black Swan star stunned in a bevy of couture confections all awards season, but ever since we saw Mila Kunis light up the Oscars in the utterly femme creation, she solidified her status as a Hollywood style pro. From the more dramatic Alexander McQueen to the sexier back-strapless Versace, Mila stunned at press appearances and film premieres all year long, and proved she's got the style chops to rival – and beat – red-carpet favorites like Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams. Gorgeous actress Mila Kunis was recently named the newest face of French house Christian Dior. The 28-year-old 'Friends With Benefits' star models for the Miss Dior handbag collection and appears in Dior's spring/summer 2012 advertisement campaign, shot by Mikael Jansson and released worldwide last month , 14 Woman’s Essence Magazine
in international editions of famous glossy magazines. Later this month, the campaign will be launched in China and on January 29 in the U.S. in The New York Times. "Mila Kunis is a very talented young actress; she embodies the true modern woman. Her performance in 'Black Swan' was remarkable. She is very gifted. We are looking forward to a long relationship with her," said Delphine Arnault, deputy general manager at Dior. Arnault also talked about the house's preference for actresses. "Christian Dior designed several costumes for the movies and maintained personal relationships with such actresses as Marlene Dietrich, Rita Hayworth, Ava Gardner, Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe, Liz Taylor and Grace Kelly. It is thus only natural for the house of Dior to continue to develop a very specific and personal relationship with actresses," she explained.
Speaking about her new gig, Mila Kunis said in a statement that she's very excited to work with the legendary house. "I am absolutely thrilled to be working with Dior. The brand is iconic in so many ways. It defines fashion, elegance and sophistication," the Ukraine-born actress confessed. She was quoted saying, "I’m honestly just learning about fashion. In my daily life, I don’t wear the most feminine pieces. But I love to feel feminine when I’m on the red carpet. I find that Dior is an incredibly grounded house. I always thought what Dior does is so sophisticated, feminine and beautiful." Mila Kunis is the latest celebrity to join the Dior family alongside French actress Marion Cotillard, who is the current ambassador of the Lady Dior handbags, but also her Oscar-winning 'Black Swan' co-star Natalie Portman, who is the face of the Miss Dior Cherie perfume, and Charlize Theron, who models for the J'Adore Dior fragrance.
American actress Milena "Mila" Kunis was born August 14, 1983 in Ukraine. Her television work includes the role of Jackie Burkhart on That '70s Show and the voice of Meg Griffin on the animated series Family Guy. She has also played roles in film, such as Rachel Jansen in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Mona Sax in Max Payne and Solara in The Book of Eli. In 2010, she won the Marcello Mastroianni Award for Best Young Actor or Actress at the 67th Venice International Film Festival for her performance as Lily in Black Swan. She was also nominated for a Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress and a Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role for the same role. Source: Photos courtesy of Christian Dior becomegorgeous.com myfashionlife.com , Woman’s Essence Magazine 15
Caring For Your Gold
and Platinum Jewelry by Preye Karen Kekai
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ll Jewelry benefits from being handled and worn with care and being kept clean. Gold and Platinum Jewelries are made with materials that are meant to stand the test of time but if you don’t take special care in their use and handling, you’ll find them looking dull, wearing out and probably getting damaged from handling. So here are some simple tips to have your jewelries at their best.
General Care Instructions
• Be careful when removing your jewelry to wash your hands. Do not leave your jewelry on the rim of a sink where it can easily slip • Store your jewelry in a clean, dry place. down the drain. • Keep your jewelry in a fabric-lined jewelry case, or in a box with • Visit your jeweler every six months to have your jewelry profecompartments and dividers. If you prefer to use ordinary boxes, ssionally cleaned. wrap each piece individually in soft tissue paper - don't jumble your jewelry pieces in a drawer or jewelry case. Pieces can scratch each other.
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Karat Gold Jewelry Karat gold jewelry pieces make up the majority of most of our jewelry collections. Gold comes in many different styles and colors, but the care and cleaning procedure are much the same. • Remove all gold jewelry before showering or cleaning. Soap can cause a film to form on karat gold jewelry, making it appear dull and dingy. • To clean your jewelry at home, you’ll find many commercial cleaners available. In addition, you will find a soft chamois cloth an effective an inexpensive way to keep your pieces lustrous and shining. • Be careful of chlorine. Chlorine, as it can permanently damage or discolor your gold jewelry. Do not wear gold jewelry while using chlorine bleach or while in a pool or hot tub. • You can remove tarnish with jewelry cleaner, or by using soap and water mixed with a few drops of ammonia. Carefully brush with a soft bristle brush. An old toothbrush can also be used. After the brushing, simply rinse with lukewarm water and allow dry. If there is a heavy tarnish on your jewelry, consult your jeweler for the best cleaning procedure. • Grease can be removed from karat gold jewelry by dipping the jewelry into plain rubbing alcohol.
Platinum Jewelry Platinum is one of the strongest of precious metals, never tarnishes, and with its intense luster, wears beautifully. Scratches and other metallic blemish spots polish completely off. It is resistant to tarnishing and discoloration due to chlorine and other chemicals. However, despite its durability, platinum jewelry needs to be properly cared for. • Platinum jewelry can be cleaned the same way you can other fine jewelry, regular cleaning should be done on a weekly basis – place your ring into a bottle of jewelry cleaner for 15-20 minutes and rinse off with hot water. (Never over a sink) however, professional cleaning every six months will keep your platinum jewelry in great shape.
• Store your platinum jewelry separately and with care, not allowing pieces to touch each other because even platinum can be scratched.
• Signs of wear such as scratches can eventually appear on platinum. If visible scratches do appear, your jeweler should be able to re-polish the piece. • If your platinum is set with diamonds or other precious stones, be especially careful as these materials can be more susceptible to damage. ,
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Over the years, I have read a truck-
load of articles on beauty tips that would supposedly transform you to the “you” you always wanted or knew you could be. And in recent years it has gotten beyond the mundane to the normal, weird and down to the downright scary. In as much as there is nothing wrong with the many lotions and potions as prescribed by Hollywood’s greatest, these products and procedures are usually expensive (at least for the average working class girl), hard to come by, and sometimes they work for only people with a particular skin type or within a particular demographic location. So here is my own collection of timeless beauty tips that spans across all races, ages and sex (if I may)
Classic Beauty Tips , 20 Woman’s Essence Magazine
by Preye Karen Kekai
The Best Make Up There is a popular statement that the best make-up you can wear is your smile and trust me, it’s not just a cliché. A smile brightens up your whole countenance and warms you up. It not only adds beauty to your face, it also adds beauty to your personality and makes you approachable. So greet people with a genuine welcoming smile at all times. Now ladies, don’t forget to groom your teeth before barring them all and take care of the mouth to avoid bad breath.
Carriage The way you carry yourself tells a lot about your state of mind. Practice walking with an air of confidence. Confidence is attractive as it instinctively draws people to you. So practice proper posture, wear the right clothes and groom your mind to boost your self confidence.
Less is More Now don’t get me wrong here, I am not talking about walking around with your midriff bared or wearing beach-worthy clothes to your office board meeting. Here is what I am talking about. From your make-up to your jewelries, clothes, perfume, and all the way down to your attitude, make-up and accessories are meant to enhance your beauty not mask it. So unless you are a walking model for Swarovski/ Cartier/Lo’real, keep your embellishments at the minimum and let your own beauty shine through.
Water Drink plenty of water. Use water based moisturizers for both your skin and your hair. Remember, the body is made up of 70% water and your lungs expend 2-4 cups of water daily just for breathing. Add to that sweating, bathroom visits etc and you realize that your body does need a whole lot of water to function. So to avoid dehydration, drink at least 8cups of water daily and hydrate from without as well as within.
Exercise Ever wondered why those sports ladies like Serena Williams and Laila Ali always look attractive on the court? Well wonder no more. Strength is attractive. To build your strength exercise at least 3times a week at 30minutes stretches and you’d feel the difference. An added advantage to this is that after a workout, your skin will glow with health and vitality.
Sleep After a hard day, your body needs to repair, rejuvenate and replenish what was lost during the day. Pamper your body with a healthy dose of sleep daily to promote overall wellness. You’ll be more alert, look brighter and feel good about yourself.
A Dash of Color Add some color to your outfit on a day you feel down and experience an instant boost. You don’t have to go all out with a yellow rain slicker if it’s inappropriate for your work environment; but a bright orange scarf tied around your neck could be all it takes to give you an instant boost.
Feel Good About Yourself Well after all is said and done, the best beauty tip you’d ever get is to “feel good” about yourself. If you don’t like who/what/where you are, do something to change it. If you don’t like your job, change jobs, if you’re in a toxic relationship, break it and move on; cos the way you feel translates into the way you look.
So there you have it, timeless beauty tips passed on from generations. Use them and pass them on. And remember, attitude is 100%
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Essential Oils Uses how to mix and match
by Ionela I Stoica
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arious uses for essential oils are available, including aromatherapy. You can add them to your bath water, for steam inhalation, hot and cold compresses, blend into face creams, for body lotions, use them for hair care, as room fragrances or personal perfumes and much more.
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ssential oils are the main ‘tools of the trade’ for aromatherapists, and in their hands they become a powerful, yet subtle instrument of healing. In this context, their most valuable use lies in professional aromatherapy massage treatments.
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fascinating aspect of aromatherapy is experiencing the powerful effects they have on people, both psychologically and emotionally. Given that they have a complementary affinity with certain parts of the body, mind and emotions, their benefits are enhanced by choosing appropriate blends.
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he way you handle and use them is important. Because these oils are powerful and highly concentrated, they can be toxic if used incorrectly. But handled carefully and fallowing a few simple safety tips, they are safe and beneficial.
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eing very concentrated and powerful (rarely used undiluted, and in very specific instances) they are greatly diluted before use. Many are light, clear and non-greasy, although a few are viscous and some are coloured.
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I
O
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hey are also highly volatile and evaporate quickly when exposed hen there is a physical ailment to be treated, you focus to the air, so they are best kept in airtight, dark glass bottles. mainly on their physical properties. For example, if you have However, since they will not dissolve in water, you can dissolve a sore throat then you would choose one that can fight the bactethem in fatty oils, such as almond, sunflower oil or alcohol. rial infection, such as lavender, benzoin, thyme or rosewood. n a massage oil for example, the dilution of essential oil in base oil n other occasions, they are selected more for their cosmetic is around 2 or possibly 3 percent. They evaporate as soon as they skin-care, sedative, stimulating or anti-depressant and uplifting come into contact with the air. So whichever method of applying properties. A brief holistic review is always given to the way the is used, a certain amount is always inhaled. essential oils affect you as a whole person, but this is not always the prime consideration. ecause body massage is the main method of applying them, this suggests that the lungs and the skin are both of prime imporhere are many essential oil uses, such as blending them into tance in the way they get into the body and do their work. your bath water, using them in massage, skin and hair treatment or simply for relaxing. You can take advantage of the essential here are several ways to use essential oils at home, with or oils benefits by choosing the appropriate blends. without the specific advice and support of an aromatherapist. As long as you stick to the guidelines and instructions, using them at home can be both fun and rewarding.
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Love Stay Married
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n an age in which Hollywood movies end with big white weddings but most celebrity marriages end in divorce, WOMAN’S ESSENCE bring you some of the best preserved celebrity marriages long after St. Valentine
by Ojay Milah
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any people all over the world celebrate every 14th of February – the day of Love – in different ways, with their loved ones (boyfriend or girlfriend, husband and wife)
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lthough the Valentine’s Day may mean more for a woman, since it is known that women are more emotional in nature, it will be wrong to say that men cannot express love. Many men express their love to their lady more on Valentine’s Day than on any other day of the month in the year.
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or men, the question is how will you surprise your lady, or celebrate this day with her? What is your plan? I know what some of you ladies might be thinking: this is a magazine for and about women, so why are we talking about men? Of course we should talk about them, after all they are part of our world and without them we won’t be celebrating any love.
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hat said; a little advice for our men on how best to express their love to us on this special day. If you’ve not yet popped the million dollar question to your lady, know that many men before you took advantage of Valentine’s Day as the perfect time to propose marriage to their wife. Some even went as far as choosing it for a wedding date; a great way of celebrating love isn’t it?
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ut if none of you are ready for such commitment, what about occupying the kitchen, even for that day only, to make dinner for the lady you love? A sweet little or more expensive gift may still do the magic. Or maybe a trip to some place romantic.
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hatever you choose to do, remember that women like all things sweet; they adore gifts and a kind gesture. Let your lady feel your love for her in whatever way you decide to show it. It is a special day, so dedicate the day just for you and her and treat her feel like the queen that she is.
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hat about you ladies; what do you intend for your man? How do you plan to show him love and affection?
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dvice for ladies: It would be good for you to do something sweet for your man. Create some space out of your busy schedule to celebrate the love you both share. What if you pick your best recipes and cook for your man a great dinner; decorate it with candle lights and some roses; pick up the best red wine you have and create an atmosphere of love?
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ame time you might also want to try put on a new good looking make-up style; dress up in something you know he would love to see you wearing. You can as well decide whether you go see a movie at the theatre; take a walk or just cuddle in your home and watch a romantic movie that best soothes the mood. Whichever way you decide to celebrate, to show love on this special day, whether you are man or woman, we sure hope you’ll make the most of it.
Who is Saint Valentine?
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he Valentine legend has several sides of the same story. Many of us know the story of the Roman priest who went ahead marrying couples in disregard to the orders of Emperor Claudius II. The Emperor had prohibited marriage for young men because he felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families, and thus, will not make good soldiers. He believed that marriage made the men weak. So he issued an edict forbidding marriage to assure quality soldiers.
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he kindly bishop Valentine realized the injustice of the decree. He saw the trauma of young lovers who gave up all hopes of being united in marriage. He planned to counter the monarch’s orders in secrecy. Whenever lovers thought of marrying, they went to Valentine who met them afterwards in a secret place, and joined them in the sacrament of matrimony.
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nd thus he secretly performed many marriages for young lovers. It was only a matter of time before Claudius came to know of this “friend of lovers,” and had him arrested. In prison, Claudius II met Valentine, and was impressed by the dignity and conviction of the latter. However, Valentine refused to agree with the emperor regarding the ban on marriage.
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t is also said that the emperor tried to convert Valentine to the Roman gods but was unsuccessful in his efforts. Valentine refused to recognize Roman gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, knowing the consequences fully. This angered Claudius II who gave the order for him to be executed.
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eanwhile, a deep friendship had been formed between Valentine and Asterius’ daughter. It caused great grief to the young girl to hear of his friend’s imminent death. It is said that just before his execution, Valentine asked for a pen and paper from his jailor, and signed a farewell message to her “From Your Valentine,” a phrase that lived ever after.
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alentine is believed to have been executed on February 14, 270 AD. Thus 14th February became a day for all lovers and Valentine became its Patron Saint. It began to be annually observed by young Romans who offered handwritten gree-tings of affection, known as Valentines, on this day to the women they admired. With the coming of Christianity, the day came to be known as St. Valentine’s Day.
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oday, Valentine’s Day has become a booming commercial success. According to the Greeting Card Association in US, 25% of all cards sent each year are Valentine’s. The Valentine’s Day card spread with Christianity, and is now celebrated all over the world. One of the earliest valentines was sent in 1415 AD by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife during his imprisonment in the Tower of London. The card is now preserved in the British Museum.
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n recent times, tales behind few celebrity marriages have traits to the St. Valentine’s experience. In a make believe world, it becomes increasingly difficult to come across marriages that aren’t just for real, but also lasting. But marriages like that of Will and Jada-Pinkett Smith, and Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have redefined the misconception behind celebrity marriages.
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Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick Sarah’s brother introduced Matthew (who was directing two of her brothers in an OffBroadway play) and Sarah to one another in November 1991 when they were all at the movies. Three months later, in a phone call Matthew asked her out. Same day, they had dinner at the Cornelia Street Cafe in Manhattan. The night not yet over and both very impressed with themselves, they quickly became inseparable. Matthew Broderick married Sarah Jessica Parker in a secret wedding ceremony on May 19, 1997. Guests were invited to New York for what they thought was a party only to discover the truth after they had arrived. The wedding took place at the Angel Oresanz Synagogue in front of 100 guests, and the vows were conducted by Broderick’s sister, Episcopal minister Janet Broderick Kraft. A reception that lasted till about 2am the next day followed the ceremony and included show tunes by the Peter Duchin’s Orchestra. At the end of the evening, each guest received a wedding favor – a piece of wedding cake with a note from the bride that read “Put this under your pillow, and dream of your true love.” Years later in 2008, there was rumor that their marriage was headed for the rocks. It was rumored that Matthew was having an affair with another lady. The couple dismissed the rumors, and remains happily married.
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The Smith’s (Will and Jada) Their first encounter was at the casting of 1990 film, “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” Jada had learned dance at the Baltimore School for Arts, Maryland, her place of birth, but later discontinued her studies at the North Carolina School for Arts when her friend Keenan Ivory Wayans discovered an agent who would put her into acting. Although she was rejected from playing Will’s girlfriend for the film, Jada later befriended Will in 1995 and soon began to play his girlfriend in real life. Jada would later say of their friendship, “He’s become my best friend. There’s nothing I can’t say to him, nothing I can’t share”; recognizing communication as a key quality needed in every relationships success. Two years later after they began dating and seven years since auditioning for a role in “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, Will proposed to Jada in November 1997. A month later on December 1997, the eve of 1998 they were married. Their secret New Year’s Eve wedding was held in Baltimore at the Cloisters Mansion, in front of a 100 guests. At a time their marriage was being celebrated as few of the celebrity couples that have been able to stay married that long (after 13 years of marriage) rumors surfaced in August 2011 that Jada and Will were headed for a divorce. The couple denied it while their rep claimed their “marriage is intact.” The duo was later spotted together out on the streets of Los Angeles days after. Even though like their fans we pray that the divorce rumor remains what it is, just a rumor and we wish that the couple grow old together, we still feel its right we pay tribute to their hard work and commitment in trying to make their marriage work. Where lots of other celebrity marriages have failed, 13 years (if they go ahead and separate) is no small task.
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What We Can Learn From These Marriages Marriage is for the Long Haul Both partners entering into a relationship must define it. When dealing with the issue of marriage, it should be understood that a relationship like that is for the long term. Will had said about his marriage, “With Jada I stood up in front of God and my family and said, 'till death us do part'. Divorce cannot be an option.” And Jada told USA Weekend that “I will throw my career away before I let it break up our marriage. I made it clear to Will. I'd throw it away completely.” Also Jada was quoted by YourTango.com in 2007 as saying “The most important aspect of our relationship is that we continue to grow together—you have to be willing to take journeys with your partner. And even our relationship has gone through bad times. But if you can survive them, you'll have an even deeper connection.”
Marriage is worth Fighting For Marriage is always not about candle light dinner or breakfast on bed; this is not the movies, but reality. Any form of human relationships comes with some difficulties. It is those difficult times that strengthen the union. Sarah Jessica Parker in an interview had this to say about marriage, “If you’re in it for the long haul and you want meaningful relationships you are going to go through lots of difficult periods.”
At the time it was reported that Michael was cheating on Jessica with a 25 years old counselor, rumor had it that Jessica, fed up with her husband’s cheating and lying, had moved out of the house and was looking for an apartment of her own. But then this was definitely false because today, Sarah and Matthew are still going strong.
Don’t Get Tired of Talking As a couple interested in building trust, you are bound to talk about not just the big stuffs but the little details as well. You should never tire of talking, even about stuffs you’ve discussed before. While Will told Ebony in 1997, that Jada’s someone he can talk to about anything, Jada revealed that one secret to their long lasting marriage is much communication. It is believed that for Will and Jada, when work keeps them apart they talk as many as five times a day.
Rather than measuring our relationship with Hollywood movies, we might be doing ourselves a lot of good if we instead measure it (like we’ve done) to the real life marriages of the celebrities we admire. This will help us know that relationship is not like its portrayed in movies, but like every other human endeavor, something we must dedicate conscious effort to make work.
Happy Valentine's Day , 30 Woman’s Essence Magazine
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I love U Valentine
Poetry Contest
POETRY LOVES ME
Collaboration Rosemarie & Anthony Arnold Rosemarie He took me by the hand we take long walks in the warm sand He made my trust expand HE answered my call at all commands Poetry Loves ME He took my heart the pen was the arrow from the start The touch of his skin was a crucial part His words spit out exclaimed we would never depart Poetry Loves ME He wiped my tears away He kneels with Me to pray I think about him yesterday, tomorrow and today the quietness between our thoughts as we lay two soul’s touched, compatible, there is nothing to say Poetry Loves ME He reads all my thoughts and rhymes He says we have nothing but time our kinetic energy is felt by chimes He is King Poetry at Prime Poetry Loves ME He came by surprise He was real not a disguise He told me what is real not any lies We communicate and learn to compromise Poetry Loves ME Speak Poetry...Speak to ME Anthony poetry spoke to me she took my heart even though we were apart my arms open wide my love burst with pride poetry spoke to me she is my life, my love I’ve been blessed from up above Hold me talk to me Love me Poetry spoke to me There is no time or space Leather or lace, diamonds or pearls She is my only, she is my world There is no you or me There is only we Speak to me poetry Speak to me
Rosemarie Poetry Loves ME He became my partner, my friend and my lover what poetry has done there is no other trust is invited love is delighted the breathe of spoken word is enticed always life taste like sugar and spice Poetry Loves ME He protects He doesn’t neglect our souls connect the past is the past no time to reflect the future is near I can see so clear Poetry Loves ME Speak Poetry...Speak to ME Anthony Poetry loves me she is my first my last my everything fills my heart with joy make me want to sing poetry loves me I’ll love her in any way Love her till my dying day Poetry loves me She will never be alone My love will be with her It will never be gone She will know Now and forever more Poetry loves me and I love her Rosemarie Poetry Loves Me Thank You God for bringing Poetry to inspire To fulfill my desire, internal and external passion acquired Poetry come into my clouds Standing O always so proud Shouts to the world of Love not afraid to be loud Speak Poetry..Speak to ME Anthony From now until the end of time I am yours and you are mine Poetry brought us together And never shall we be apart Poetry loves you Poetry loves me
Rosemarie Howard & Anthony Arnold , 32 Woman’s Essence Magazine
He Loved Me He loved me as a gardener loves his flowers he cut my stem’s thistle with strong hands and put soft soil round my feet He loved me he put me beside flowers and said: Talk to the flowers. Talking to flowers brings the fineness of flowers in you He loved me as the sky loves its birds he encouraged me to fly rescued me from fear of height he told me: “ The sky is a warm breast on which you place your head, don’t forget the sky” He loved me like the sea loves it’s fountains with powerful hands he removed all stones from my path and encouraged me to go to sea he always told me: “ you are part of the sea you should join it” He loved me he understood my flower, bird and fountain being he loved me for them Frough Samiei
Wear my love Wear my love Like the smile that so Beautifully adorns your face Daily Wear my love Like the stars that so Gracefully lights the skies Daily Wear my love Like the sun that is there Even when you don’t see Or feel it Wear my love Like you were here so Wrapped in my arms Though you are not Wear my love Sometimes it’s tight Like a new shoe half a size too small It soothes, in time Wear my love Sometimes it hurts Mostly it’s there like I am Here For you, always. Nengak Daniel Gondyi
Sweet Things You Do To Me Sweet things you do to me You make me feel so fine In the press of a mobbing crowd The way you look into my face And hold on to my hand Sweet things you do to me You treat me like I’m a queen The most important thing to you You do all in your power To see that I’m always happy Sweet things you do to me You point out those things That you know I love to see You cause me to smile at you And make me laugh out loud Sweet things you do to me You show a real sense of depth In times of pain and sorrow Which I cherish as much as Your arms of comfort around me Sweet things you do to me You can spin the silliest jokes Just to tease and thrill me Your warm and tender smile Is a lighthouse in the storm Oh! Sweet things you do to me For in this ever–changing world Long as you’re always near Most sweet is your love for me It always sees me through Myne Whitman
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My love My love I’ll share for a thousand years Through joy and pain, laughter and tears You mean the world to me, you are my heart Love and happiness, let us never be apart Placed together by the one up above Showered with joy, blessed in love You have blessed my life, kept me from falling astray My sun and moon, forever please stay I’ll be there for you; there is nothing for me to gain I’ll be your strength, oh yes I can stand the rain Anything you need I’m at your beck and call 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. Don’t worry I’ll never let you fall. I am your king and you are my queen There is no middle, no in between Let me love you from spring till fall Give you anything I can, anything at all Our love together, together we will grow old Sitting hand in hand, our story still untold My love I give to in every single way My love I’ll share with you until my dying day Let every thing we know, every thing we learn Let the fire in our hearts for each other continue to burn And when it’s time for us to leave this world I won’t live without you, my queen, my lady, my girl Anthony Arnold
Because I Love I want to enter into the depths of his soul. Be the only one he needs while we’re young and when we’re old. Consider my wishes and respect my mind. I’ll follow my love, until the end of time. What’s to understand when love is understood. When love conquers all, turning bad into good. They say I don’t live in this world because I live in love. That I don’t live in this time, just in the hour of love. Cherish me like a genie, inside me are all his wishes. Rub me, and I shower him with diamond touches and golden kisses. Though I may sit in silence, my heart always speaks out. Know that I love him, let there not be any doubt. Through the phases of the moon and the passings of the sun. Through the changing of seasons, my waterfall of love still runs. My eyes see visions of him, embracing the makings of me. The makings that mold me into everything he needs me to be. The preparation of his queen, and he is my king to be. I bow down to honor him, my love, to respect him, your majesty. Yes, bow...strong woman, but I know how to submit. He calms my sea of rages with the honey dew from his lips. And I keep him appeased with the motion of my hips. But no misconception, our connection is deeper than this. There is love for the mind and spirit, love in spite of conflicts. Submerged in his arms, drunk in his love, what we have is no counterfeit. Sherry Clay
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Decorating Your Home for Valentine’s Day
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Do you love him or her? Yes? So you know that Valentine’s Day will be important to you? But you do not know what to give her or him because you’re already tried everything and you do not have any ideas how to make a memorable day? Do you know that you need very little to do for an important day?
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Valentines Day Ideas
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n particular, do not decorate the house much. You need space to place the candle light. Otherwise may be bad accident. Candles are the most important. They should be just enough to see each other, but not too much. Buy aroma candles of all shapes and sizes, the best scent is vanilla, which is a kind of aphrodisiac especially for men. It is very important to decorate the house red. Red is romantic, because red is the color of love and passion. Red roses mean, “I love you.” Of course it does not have to be roses, may be wild flowers in pink or purple tinge. But the flowers should be of your partner’s liking. You can decorate with flowers the floor or bed , or around the candles. Do you have a fireplace? Yes? amazing! You can prepare a lovely and romantic place near the fireplace.
Valentines Day Gift Ideas for Him and Her Valentines Day Decoration
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irst and foremost is your love, and how you love to be able to show him or her. Your valentine day gift to your beloved need not be expensive but it should be straight from the heart.
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ou just have to flaming fire, and on the floor pillows and soft materials. Red wine and strawberries with chocolate. If you don’t have do not worry. You can create a romantic place otherwise. Set a table for just the two of you and keep a lighted candle in the middle, along with a bottle of wine. Background music is romantic, and note the word “background,” because not just any music is romantic. For music to be romantic, it must be too soft to hear. And the best thing if you know what kind of music he or she likes the best. Good luck. www.egihomeinterior.com , Woman’s Essence Magazine 37
Romantic Movies & Food to Set the Mood by Kara Rodemer www.delish.com
Spend some Qality Time with your cutie — or yourself — this Valentine's Day. Pick a feel-good romantic comedy, cook up a dish to match, then enjoy dinner and a DVD. Chocolat (with Judi Dench & Alfred Molina) Food for the mood: Homemade truffles make perfect gifts, satisfy your chocolate fix, and give a boost in serotonin to start your heart a-pumpin'.
Chocolate Truffles
These bittersweet confections are easy to make. For extra flavor, you can add 2 tablespoons of your favorite liqueur, such as Amaretto, to the melted chocolate mixture Ingredients Directions Remove chocolate mixture from In food processor with knife blade pan by lifting edges of plastic wrap • 8 ounce(s) bittersweet attached, blend chocolate until finely and inverting chocolate block onto chocolate ground. cu-tting board; discard plastic wrap. • 1/2 cup(s) heavy or In 1-quart saucepan, heat heavy Cut chocolate mixture into 32 piewhipping cream cream over medium-high heat to boi- ces. (To cut chocolate mixture easily, • 3 tablespoon(s) unsalted ling. Add cream to chocolate in food dip knife in hot water and wipe dry.) processor and blend until smooth. Add Quickly roll each piece into a ball. butter, softened and cut up butter and blend well. Roll half of balls in chopped hazelnuts • 1/3 cup(s) hazelnuts Line 9” by 5” metal loaf pan with and roll other half of balls in cocoa. (filberts), toasted and finely plastic wrap. Pour chocolate mixture Refrigerate truffles in airtight contaichopped into pan; spread evenly. Refrigerate ners for up to a week or freeze for up to • 3 tablespoon(s) until cool and firm enough to handle, a month. Remove from freezer 5 miunsweetened cocoa about 3 hours. nutes before serving.
Food for the mood: This light comedy is particularly well suited for a brunch-and-movie date. Whip up (with Sarah Jessica Parker, Diane Keaton & Luke Wilson) your own Breakfast Strata the night before, pop it in the oven in the morning (and try not to drop it on the Breakfast Strata buttered side of each bread floor...), and serve with a luscious Ingredients Directions Ambrosia Fruit Salad With 1 tablespoon of the slice. • 1/4 cup(s) (1/2 In large bowl with wire stick) unsalted butter, butter, generously grease a large, shallow 2 1/2- to whisk, beat eggs, milk, 1/2 softened cup of the Parmesan, and 3-quart baking dish or • 8 ounce(s) (about casserole. pepper until well blended. 8 slices) thick-sliced Cook bacon in a skillet Slowly pour egg mixture over medium heat until over bread slices; press smoked bacon, cut crisp. Remove bacon to bread down to absorb crosswise into 1/2-inch-wide strips drain on paper towel, lea- egg mixture, spooning egg • 12 ounce(s) large button mushrooms, sliced ving 2 tablespoons bacon mixture over any uncoated • 1 cup(s) diced onion drippings in skillet. Add bread. Scatter Gruyère and • 2 teaspoon(s) chopped fresh sage leaves mushrooms, onion, and remaining 1/4 cup Parme• 1 package(s) (10-ounce) frozen chopped sage; sauté over medium san over top. Cover strata heat 8 to 10 minutes, until and refrigerate overnight. spinach, thawed and squeezed dry Bring strata to room browned and mushrooms • 8 slice(s) (3/4-inch-thick) brioche, challah, temperature. Preheat oven have released much of their or potato bread liquid. Spread mixture to 350 degrees F. Bake, un• 4 plum tomatoes, sliced over bottom of prepared covered, 30 minutes; loosely • 6 large eggs baking dish; scatter spi- cover with foil to prevent overbrowning. nach over top. • 3 cup(s) milk Spread remaining 3 table- Bake 25 minutes or un• 3/4 cup(s) grated Parmesan cheese spoons butter over one side til golden on top and a knife • 1/2 teaspoon(s) freshly ground pepper of bread slices, and arrange, inserted in center comes out • 6 ounce(s) Gruyère cheese, shredded buttered side up and over- clean. Let stand 20 minutes or cut into small dice lapping, on top of spinach. before serving. Sprinkle with • Chopped parsley Arrange 3 tomato slices on parsley. , 38 Woman’s Essence Magazine
The Family Stone
Ambrosia Fruit Salad
Ingredients • 1 small (2 1/2-pound) golden sweet pineapple, crown and rind removed, “eyes” cut out • 6 seedless clementine oranges, peeled, separated into segments • 1 pint(s) strawberries, hulled, halved • 2 kiwifruit, peeled, halved lengthwise, cut into slices • 3/4 cup(s) dried unsweetened coconut chips or shavings • Vanilla yogurt or sweetened sour cream • Fresh mint leaves, for garnish (optional)
Directions
Quarter pineapple lengthwise; remove core. Cut crosswise into small chunks. Place in large serving bowl. Add clementine segments, strawberries, kiwifruit, and coconut; gently toss. Spoon into dessert glasses. Top with a dollop of vanilla yogurt or sweetened sour cream. Garnish with mint sprigs if desired.
Spanglish (with Adam Sandler & Téa Leoni)
Food for the mood: Take a cue from the movie and remember that eggs aren’t just for breakfast. Try an updated twist on the rise-and-shine special with our Peppers and Egg Sandwich, filled with plump, roasted peppers, spectacular sopressata, and creamy mascarpone cheese.
Peppers and Egg Sandwich
Creamy scrambled eggs, enhanced with mascarpone cheese, are topped with sautéed peppers, onions, and sopressata in this tantalizing Italian-inspired sandwich.
Ingredients • Ingredients • 1 tablespoon(s) olive oil • 1 large onion, halved and cut into strips • 1 medium yellow bell pepper, seeded, cut into thin strips • 1 medium red bell pepper, seeded, cut into thin strips • 2 ounce(s) sliced sopressata, Genoa salami, or prosciutto, cut into thin strips • 1/4 cup(s) basil, chopped • 10 large eggs • 1/4 cup(s) mascarpone cheese or whipped cream cheese, softened • 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt and freshly ground black pepper • 2 tablespoon(s) unsalted butter • 1 loaf(s) (10 ounces) ciabatta bread, cut into 4 pieces and split • 4 slice(s) fontina or provolone cheese
Directions Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat and cook onions and peppers 10 minutes, or until tender. Add sopressata and cook 1 minute longer. Remove from heat; stir in basil. Keep warm. In large bowl, whisk eggs, mascarpone cheese, salt, and pepper until yolks and whites are completely blended. Melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. When butter begins to foam, add egg mixture. Reduce heat to medium. Push eggs gently with heat-resistant rubber spatula in a figure-8 motion as they begin to set and form soft curds; cook until
just set but still creamy and moist, about 7 minutes. Transfer eggs to bottoms of bread; top with a slice of cheese. Spoon the pepper mixture over cheese; top with remaining bread. Serve immediately.
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5 Tips to Make Your Valentine’s Day Special by Lisa Miller-Baldwin
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alentine’s Day is just around the corner and a day set aside to shower that special someone with the love and affection that they deservingly anticipate. Are you looking for the ideas to plan that perfect date? Need help looking for that special gift to tell that special someone in the whole world just how much they mean? Below are a few tips.
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Plan a secret rendezvous. Romance is perfect when Proclaim your love for your special someone in it's unexpected. Make a plan as to what you'll do public. Hang a banner that says you love him in a to surprise, such as having flowers sent to the work- place where lots of people get to read it. place, packing an empty lunch and then showing up with their favorite meal, or taking him somewhere for Turn the house into a love den. If you're staying the evening that you know is really enjoyed, such as a home for Valentine's Day, make the house adorned restaurant, the movies, or a walk on the pier. with sentiments of love. Place comfortable cushions, pillows, and blankets around. Spray, burn, or plug in Be spontaneous. For one day put all your responsi- a romantic scent and play soft, romantic music in the bilities out of your head and put your special some- background. Even better, plan a meaningful playlist that one at the top of the list. consists of songs that the two of you share together (maybe the song played when you met) and have that Do something that makes your special someone playing through the day. Become the massage masblush. There are some things that only he should seuse and caress your special one with massage oils, ever get to see and this can be used to your advantage that sooth and relax. when thinking up ways to surprise him.
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3 Tips for Men on Valentine’s Day What your Lady Would Like This Valentine’s Day
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Start taking mental notes, when she says “I love that...or I would like that.” Be cognizant of the “little hints.”
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Ask outright, no point in spending your money on a waste of a present. Just ask “Is there anything you would like?”
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Is there a certain perfume she wears (old one but always works!) Every woman loves a great perfume, but you do need her to try and identify her scent. You may think it smells fantastic, however she might think it stinks! So unless you are certain about her scent then steer clear of guessing.
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eed help looking for that special gift to tell to tell the most special woman in the whole world just how much she means? I have a splendid idea!!! A way to get to a woman’s heart is not just diamonds, but GRATITUDE. Show her how much you appreciate her. Gratitude=Love=Romance.
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Let’s Ask Aunty Neenee
“ Need some advice? You can have your dilemma solved by our advice columnist Aunty Neenee, email contact@womans-essence.com
The talk about sex with my inquisitive teenager
Happy February everyone, Aunty Neenee is here! This week I’m answering questions we received from three of our faithful readers as opposed to questions I’ve been asked in person. I’d like to personally thank you all for reading and submitting questions which help keep this column alive!
Every month your question and answer will be in Woman’s Essence magazine
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Peace and Blessings to you all!
As a parent, I’m uncomfortable about having “the talk about sex” with my ever inquisitive teenager. What should I do?
Danielle, Aunty Neenee is here! In my opinion, the most important thing is to first establish with your daughter that there is an open line of communication between you two, and she need not ever fear asking you anything. Knowing she can come to you with any question will help her not feel the need to seek the usually incorrect information she may get from her peers.
Secondly, take it slow. Don’t go into a lot of technical details that are over her head that may cause her to get confused, and frustrated with your conversation. This could lead her back again to those of her peers that think they know it all, and may misinform her. You can ask her pediatrician to refer you to a good gynecologist to start her female exams, and new vaccines. These doctors are great at helping open these discussions with age appropriate language. If you want more help, they should be able to refer you to a local support group for single moms in your position, or your local chapter of Planned Parenthood. Lastly, the public school systems Health and Sex Ed. classes will give the basic information about the physical differences between males and females. It’s up to you to make sure your values and morals are instilled in your child. If you believe sex should be reserved for after she has married as it says in the Bible, communicate that. If you believe she should at, least feel she is in a loving relationship with 42 Woman’s Essence Magazine
Signed, Danielle S., North Carolina, Single mother to 13 year old girl
mutual respect, make sure she is armed with protection from the spread of STD’s, and emotionally prepared if the relationship doesn’t last once they have experienced the act. Perhaps a “Girls night” of painting nails, doing homemade facials, and even watching a movie, (my mom had us watch, “Looking for Mr. Good Bar”) that may help communicate life lessons surrounding sexual activity, the difference between making love, verses promiscuity, etc. This will give you a platform for open discussion so you both feel comfortable. I hope this helps, Sincerely Aunty Neenee
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I have health issues and the examination result, STI is not making me happy. I am in a 3 years relationship and haven’t got involved with anyone beside my boyfriend. How do I tell him? Also how do I ask him since its clear he may have cheated on me? Signed, Roxanne L., Torontol
Dear Roxanne! Aunty Neenee has lived through this very experience, so I know just what you’re going through! I always say, honesty is the best policy. It’s obvious he cheated; this infection had to come from some place! Always remember, we teach people how to treat us. If you brush this under the carpet and act as if nothing is wrong, he will continue in what he thinks is a winning game. Put on your “Big Girl Panties”, and stand up for yourself. Don’t ask him, giving opportunity for him to concoct a lie, or flip it to be you in the
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wrong! Tell him you’re aware of his infidelity, the evidence being this STI he passed on to you. This will be empowering to you. Let him know how devoted you’ve been, and that’s what you expect in return! Don’t back down on what is acceptable in your idea of a relationship. His response will be your clue as to what direction to go from there. He has shown you who he is. You must decide if you want to stay with someone who has proven not to be trust worthy, or cut your losses and move on. Just keep’n it real, Aunty Neenee
Does age matter in a relationship? Is it strange for a 35 year old woman to seriously date a 26 year old man? How long do you see this relationship lasting?
Signed, Tyra M., Houston, TX
Hello Tyra! In my opinion, the age of two consenting adults choosing to be in a relationship is between them. I would however caution you to remember those around you, and that we set an example for those who look up to us. We teach by example. If you and your partner are modeling a healthy, loving relationship with mutual respect for those who may be observing, and influenced by your behavior, it is a wonderful thing regardless of your ages. My auntie used to say, “Age ain’t nothin but a number”. Then again she was the same one that told me, “It’s better to be an old man’s sweet heart, than a young man’s fool.” Which one reflects your thinking? Lastly, be mindful of each of your motives for being in this relationship. As in any interpersonal relationship, be aware of what each of you are expecting in and from this union. Is it just for fun, or for keeps? Many relationships with large age differences are simply “flings” that don’t mean a lot to either partner. Then others are matches made in heaven and are for keeps. Whatever the case, live, love and be happy! Just remember, “To thine own self be true”.
Aunty Neenee , Woman’s Essence Magazine 43
The Color Of Love by Trina Sims
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es it’s in the air and cannot be denied. I would consider February 14th one of the most important days of each year, as it is loved by all women of every age. February is the month of LOVE and Valentine’s Day brings about a certain ambiance of LOVE.
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etting engaged is a very exciting moment in one’s life in any month, but what a better time of the year to plan a Wedding. Valentine’s Day lends itself in so many ways for planning your once in a lifetime dream day, to share your love and vows with your closest family and friends.
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hile February is considered an offseason time of year for weddings, most venues are sure to give you a great deal, but you want to be sure to book one as soon as possible. A Valentine’s Day Wedding should be an AWESOME themed
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event to plan. Finding a space that really speaks your theme style of your wedding is important. Decide what you are going for and get started.
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lan your details to make sure your theme is carried through out and displays the look and feel you are going for. If you are more of a romantic, a location that exudes romance would be the spot for you. Consider an old mansion where the walls feel like they can tell many love stories from the past.
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hile the tradition remains with the white/ivory wedding gown, do your own flares of style by adding a pair of sexy red shoes for a pop of color as you flow down the aisle? If that’s not your cup of red, changing into a sexy second red gown is a sure way to get the party to the next level.
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aving a cocktail hour with a signature drink can also infuse your themed Valentine’s Day Wedding and give it a name like “The Lovetini.” Last but not least….The Cake! While the cake is the centerpiece to every wedding, adding red velvet cupcakes to your candy buffet is the best beginning to a sweet ending.
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lanning your wedding does not have to be stressful if you plan ahead, consider your budget and LOVE the moments before, during and after. Remember, at the end of the day, when all has been said and done, your themed Valentine’s Day Wedding should represent who you are. “It’s your day, so make it your own.”
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Why It's Important For Married Couples to Celebrate Valentine's Day by Sandla Sandi
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One of the major mistakes that people, or rather, married couples make is not celebrating Valentines Day. A lot of married men will tell you that Valentines Day isn’t anything more than the designated ‘Buy over priced flowers for your wife’ day. Women will at the most cook a dinner that has to be eaten with knives and forks (instead of the usual spoon or just a fork) and that just about wraps up Valentines Day. There’s such a thing as a frugal Valentines Day but this is two notches below that. This is down right ‘I don’t Care It’s Valentines Day’. Married couples should celebrate Valentines Day for its very spirit, to celebrate love. It should be celebrated for the same reason as celebrating your wedding anniversary. For married people taking time out for themselves and for each other takes a backseat to raising a family and all those other problems that come with wedlock. There comes a time when every man or woman in a marriage will think "things aren't like the way they used , 48 Woman’s Essence Magazine
to be when we were dating.” The reason behind this being, it's probably the truth. Before people get married, i.e. when they're in the whole dating phase both partners invest time and money in each other. To put it in simply, they communicate their love in many different ways. Women are likely to miss Valentines Day the most because when you're dating, Valentine day is like an anniversary complete with gifts and valentines flowers and there is no woman
on earth who doesn't like to be pampered. After five years of ma-rriage (not to mention a likely five years of forgetting the wedding anniversary) an excited and happy good morning greeting is replaced by "Who's making the coffee?" which is precisely why it's a good idea to celebrate Valentines day, so you can reconnect with your spouse. It's usually a popular idea among couples to recreate the day they first met, if nothing else but for the revival of their sentiments.
Most understandably, married couples reserve any and all funds for the family which means no buying gifts for each other on and off. Valentine gifts on the other hand are a great way to still show some affection for your spouse. You both know that you'd rather save for the family bear in mind that romantic gifts don't need to cost an arm and a leg. They can be simple and just the fact that your spouse took time and put some consideration in to buying a romantic gift for you can go a long way. The bottom line, Valentines Day is important for married couples, as much if not more, as it is for dating ones. Every woman likes to get chocolate gifts and buying simple valentine chocolate gifts is all a guy really need to rekindle things with the wife. As for women, making a real dinner, changing out of the house slacks and doing your hair can make a huge difference. Marriage is all about making an effort
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Love is in the Air: For the Single Mother by Tiffany Jasper
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ove is in the air! It is that special month where dating couples will celebrate, those who will ask to be coupled with someone else will seek out a girlfriend and those “popping” the question will happen on Valentine’s Day. But what about that single mother on the ultimate “Day of love”? Many single parents are not in a relationship for many reasons; waiting on the perfect guy, being rejected due to having kids or not enough support with childcare to make it to the dating stage. In these instances, we tend to be alone on special days such as this. So how do we handle days like Valentine’s Day when clearly the media and stores are saturated with red, white and pink colors, gifts, teddy bears, balloons, jewelry, chocolates and sentimental cards? I thought it important to speak to the single mother through the voice of a couple that have been married for over 40 years. I thought it interesting to get their take on “Love, dating and the Single Mom”. The married couple was asked to give a few tips to the single mom on dating and love. They both expressed that each young lady should be selective of your mate. It was mentioned that sometimes due to human nature, people can move too fast just obtain the “couple” status. Also each single mom should consider their children’s feelings about , 50 Woman’s Essence Magazine
the person you are seriously dating. Children need stability; so if it getting serious allow your children to feel special and be a part of the process. From a spiritual side, it was suggested to use prayer as a guide. Let your gut feeling assist you in the choices that you make while dating. Remember not to mention marriage so early in the dating process and no need to bare your heart so soon; just enjoy each date. Now, for that special day, Valentine’s Day the married couple came up with their own ideas a single mom can use to help her enjoy the day; a day expected to be celebrated by couples. First, there is no harm in sending yourself or asking a friend to send you a Valentine’s Day card. Second, single moms spend this special
day with your children. Wouldn’t it be great to take the kids out for a special treat or surprise them with a sweet token once they’ve arrived home? Third and final, don’t wait for someone to buy you a gift that you love, buy it or do it for yourself; roses, chocolates, perfume, go to see a movie, whatever you love. This day is about you and the love you can offer. Lastly, for us single mothers who tend to encounter those not-so-nice guys who pass up a great chance to be in a relationship with us due to us having children, this section is for us. Oh so many times, I hear how certain men do not want to date women with children for a variety of reasons. Although, we each have a right to our preferences, it doesn’t dull the hurt at times when it is realized that it is because
we are single parents that they choose not to date us. With that being true in some cases (definitely my case lately), the married couple gives encouragement. First and foremost single mother, you are vibrant and phenomenal in so many ways. Know that the man who finds us will be happy and blessed while dating us. Finally, for every one that rejects you as a date due to you having children, there are two waiting in the “wing”.
Enjoy your Valentine’s Day to the fullest!
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Power For Your World
A (Valentine)Note to SELF - I Love You by Dawniel PattersonWinningham I am sure that we can all agree that at times we have
been guilty of not being 100% in love with ourselves. This includes everything from neglecting our health to putting others first without regards as to how that sacrifice will impact us and our future. We must all be reminded at times why we should love ourselves and work to put ourselves first. Not that we want to be selfish and keep ourselves from the world; quite the opposite. There is a very thin line between loving yourself and being selfish. By loving yourself and putting yourself first, you are better able to take care of those around you.
✓✓ A pass to say NO. Often we say yes to every opportunity and task that is presented to us without taking the time to understand what will be required. Sometimes it is best to say no to a request until you understand everything being asked of you and how it will impact your world. ✓✓ A budget centered around YOU. This is your chance to cut some of the excess from your income and be financially fit so that you are better prepared for the future. ✓✓ A career self evaluation. Ask are you working in your passion? Are you doing what you were called to do and does your career align with your talents and strengths? Are you happy with your current career choice?
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day I present YOU with the following gifts from YOU that are centered on putting yourself first: ✓✓ A pass to a Zumba, Dance, or any other high energy FUN class where you can get your exercise and have some fun too. Make time daily to exercise so that you can be the most fit YOU possible.
These gifts are presented to you with a reminder that in order for you to be happy, wealthy, and wise, you must sometimes LOVE yourself, with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with your entire mind.
✓✓ A pass to a low calorie, healthy restaurant meal. Each day you should be taking the time to prepare low calorie foods, high fiber foods that will keep you healthy. ✓✓ A list of things that you excel doing. This list helps you to feel good about the gifts and talents that you have. Take the time to remind yourself daily that you are beautiful and that you are talented. ✓✓ A night of prayer and meditation…alone. Time alone to think, plan, reflect, and recharge is a much needed respite from each days busy activities. If possible plan at least 15 – 30 minutes each day for prayer and meditation. Some do it before they even get out of bed!
In the words of Minnie Ripperton, “Loving you…is easy ‘cuz you’re beautiful!” Remember that this Valentine’s day and make sure you present yourself with these gifts of love!
Dawniel Patterson-Winningham Performance and life coach, author, CEO of Twin Power Publishing, mother of three including twins, Dawniel Patterson-Winningham has worked with a fortune 100 firm and coached people into becoming entrepreneurs. She currently lives in Houston, Texas. , 52 Woman’s Essence Magazine
www.yourgirlpower.com yourgirlpower@hotmail.com Photo Credit Shabby Chic Photography/Melissa Bliss
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Lo ve Ca s t l es t o Vi s i t this V al en t i n e a n d A l way s For ages, castles have somehow been associated with royalty and an underlying statement of love. Cartoons such as Raponzzle, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast all have three things in common: a castle; two characters (sometimes both prince and princess, while other times only one is royal blood) in an undying love for each other and a happy ending after. In recognition of February being the month of love, WOMAN’S ESSENCE went in search of castles round the world that have a love story as part of its history. We found four castles; two in Europe and two in America. by Ojay Milah
Bamburgh Castle, England Of this castle, there is a story as told by Richard Jones in his book “Haunted Castles of Britain and Ireland.” Jones says: "At some stage in Bamburgh's eventful history, the flesh-andblood incarnation of this forlorn wraith was aa Northumbrian princess. Her father disapproved of a boy she was in love with, and sent the unfortunate suitor overseas for seven years. He forbade the couple to exchange messages and hoped that his daughter's passion would cool. “But the girl just became more and more depressed. In a last attempt to persuade his daughter to give up her love, the king told her that spies had discovered that the boy had married someone else. To cheer the girl up after this news, the king asked the castle seamstress to make a fine dress in his daughter's favorite color, pink.
“The distraught girl donned the garment, climbed the stairway to the highest battlements and flung herself to her death on the rocks below. Shortly afterward her lover returned from exile, unmarried, and was heartbroken by news of what had happened. Legend does not record what fate befell him. “Every seven years, the princess's mournful revenant, clothed in a dress of shimmering pink, wanders through the corridors of the oldest section of the castle before gliding down the rocky path that leads to the beach. Here she stands upon the pale gold sands, gazing sadly out to sea, forever awaiting the return of her lost love." In Northumberland England, along the North Sea, high on a massive rock stands Bamburgh Castle. During the 11th century, it was the property of Robert, Earl of Northumberland, who had a quarrel with King William II. The King besieged the castle and captured the Earl along with the castle. Thereafter, the castle became royal property and subsequently underwent numerous additions and upgrades. The keep was completed by Henry II while other restorations were carried out during the reign of King John and Henry III. During the Wars of the Roses, the castle was occupied by the Lancastrians. However, they relinquished the castle in 1464 to Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick. Today, the castle remains intact and resides as one of the finest in England. The Armstrong Family currently resides therein along with the ghost of a lady in pink.
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Torrechiara Castle, Italy Between the Po River and the Apennine mountains south of Parma and Piacenza lie a series of wonderfully preserved castles that demand the traveler's attention. The best preserved castle is called Torrechiara. Almost unchanged since the 15th century, the castle was built by Pier Maria Rossi II (1413-1482), Count of San Secondo, in honor of his lover, Bianca Pellegrini.
The most striking among the decorated rooms is the Camera d'oro (Golden Room), named after the pure gold that once trimmed the terracotta medallions set into the wall, whose fresco cycle dating to 1462 and attributed to Benedetto Bembo depicts a tale of courtly love and chivalry, recounting the story of Pier Maria Rossi's passion for Bianca Pellegrini.
Set on a high perch overlooking the Parma valley, Torrechiara is one of the best preserved fortifications in the whole municipality of Langhirano in the province of Parma region. It was built between 1448 and 1460. Pier Maria Rossi had it girded with a triple wall and four corner towers linked by battlemented parapets. Two loggias on the east side were added later.
It also carries two entwined hearts and the initials of Bianca and Pier Maria joined by a ribbon bearing the motto Nunc et semper. The Camera d'oro looks onto the deep loggia built in late 16th century, when the castle lost its defensive purpose and was transformed into a lordly manor.
In the San Nicomede Oratory, at the base of the southeast tower and in the ensuing rooms are several 16th century frescoes attributed to Cesare Baglione and his circle. In the northeast tower, beautiful frescoed halls include an ancient kitchen while in the northern block the Salone degli stemmi was decorated by Baglione, who also executed the fresco cycle in the Salone degli Acrobati (Acrobats Room) in the style of mannerism.
There is a legend saying that in the castle during the nights of full moon, when the mist envelops the castle, it appears the ghost of a beautiful duchess, walled up by her husband, wandering into the tower of the manor offering passionate kisses to men on her way!!
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Boldt Castle,
United States
Away from Europe is Boldt Castle in the United States of America, located on Heart Island in the 1000 Islands, offshore Alexandria Bay, New York. The castle though lacking in originality like medieval European castles, has a history embroiled in a love story that is original. Hotelier and millionaire proprietor of the world famous Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City, George C. Boldt had decided to build Boldt Castle as a show of love to his dear wife, with whom he’d been married for about 27 years. He was to present it to his wife on her birthday, but this was never to be. A month to her 42 birthday on February 14 1904, she died of a heart attack. Boldt was born in Prussia in 1851 and came alone to America when he was in his teens. He worked his way up in the hotel business and in 1877 age 26 married Louise Augusta Keher, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania who was age 15. It was from the hotel business that George Boldt would amass his fortune. All through those years, Louise Boldt was active in her husband’s hotel business.
artists began work on the castle, making use of the finest of sculptures, carving, mosaics, and tapestries sourced from Europe. But in early January 1904, after four years of building, a telegram came from Boldt ordering all work stopped. Louise the love of his life had died of heart attack, only a month to her birthday. The castle was left unfinished and the heartbroken George Boldt, it was said, never set foot on the island again. George Boldt died on December 5, 1916 at the Waldorf-Astoria. At Boldt’s death, the castle was purchased by Edward John Noble who invested in the area and built the Thousand Island Club. Over the next 50 years, the E.J. Noble Foundation ran Boldt Castle as a tourist attraction. Visitors were allowed to roam the island freely, and the castle became a victim of vandals who broke windows, covered walls with graffiti, and stripped buildings of ornamental details. Roofs leaked, timbers deteriorated, plaster peeled from walls. A fire destroyed all but the stone shell of the Powerhouse.
It was said that the lovely, fragile Louise Boldt was the love of her husband’s life. According to Boldt’s granddaughter, Boldt thought of his wife as a ‘beautiful princess’. And so the dream of a castle for a birthday present isn’t farfetched.
However in 1977 the Thousand Islands Bridge Authority acquired the estate and began restorations. Windows and roofs were repaired. The Power House was rebuilt and the ballroom was converted into a museum. Couples came to be wed.
In 1900, work began on the six story castle that was to house 120 rooms, complete with tunnels, a powerhouse, Italian gardens, a drawbridge, alster tower (children’s playhouse) and a dove cote. A total of 300 workers including stonemasons, carpenters, and
As it stands today, every summer you will see the wedding couples sail down the Saint Lawrence River, glide beneath an arched water gate modeled after Roman monuments, and say their vows on a stone bridge leading to a fanciful assembly of peaked turrets.
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Gimghoul Castle
United States
The castle, located on Gimghoul Road in Chapel Hill, North Carolina was originally known as Hippol Castle. It is said to have taken somewhere between four and six years to build, beginning in the early 1920’s at a cost of $50,000. Artisans from France were hired to painstakingly cut the 1,300 tons of stones used to construct it. One legend has it that the body of an 18 year old man named Peter Dromgoole was buried in a shallow grave in 1833. Peter was madly in love with a young woman from Chapel Hill known simply as Miss Fanny. But there was an unnamed insanely jealous competitor who challenged Peter to a duel on Piney Prospect. During the duel, Peter was killed. It is believed that his companions, in fear and shock, dragged the rock on top of him in an attempt to cover up the occurrence. The rock is supposed to be stained red, marked with the blood of young Peter. The next day,
Fanny came to the spring, but Peter never appeared. In the days that followed, she came back repeatedly but never saw him again. Finally, she started to make inquiries about him, but could only learn that he had left campus, some say to join the army. From that day on, she returned every day to Piney Prospect and waited for her lover, sitting and weeping on the very rock under which he was buried. Eventually, she grew sick and died from heartbreak. The legend of Gimghoul Castle is the story of Peter Dromgoole. Legend has it that the ghost of Mr. Dromgoole visits the spot, where his body was buried. Others say that the ghost of young Fanny also visits the stone, sitting on the very rock of her lover’s grave.
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