Woman's Era

AUGUST (FIRST) 2013 ● ` 40

WOMAN ’S ERA

SHOULD YOU

BEND BACK TO PLEASE

YOUR KID

LIVING-IN NO

BED OF ROSES THE ABSURD

CRAZE TO REACH THE USA

FIGHTING

DEPRESSION EFFECTIVELY AUGUST (FIRST) 2013

THE ILLUSION OF VIRGINITY

WRITING:

A HARD NUT ALL HE

NEEDED

WAS FOOD

HOW DID THE

DRUNKARD CHANGE?

2

AUGUST (FIRST) 2013 Vol 40, Issue No. 952

BUILDS HAPPY HOMES

CONTENTS Founder: Vishwa Nath

womansera.com

(1917-2002)

58

A CLASS APART

7

24

MISTAKE PARENTS MAKE

LIVING-IN VERSUS MARRIAGE

Jyoti Galada

Amiya Kumar Kushwaha

THE LOVABLE LEMONS Dr Aparna Pradhan

ARTICLES DEPRESSIVE DISORDERS IN CHILDREN Deepalatha

28

FACIAL IMPROVEMENT UNDER A KNIFE Nidhi Gandhi

VOILA VIRGINITY! Maharaaj K. Koul

34 HOW “GREEN” IS MY FUTURE S. Raghunath

MUTTON – POTATO: SHIVAJI-ERA DISH Dr Sumit S. Paul

THE COLOUR’S CREST Tapapriya Lahiri

38

THE EXTRAORDINARY SERUMS Romola Shanbhag

COOKERY 48 PALATE SOOTHERS ● ● ● ● ●

FICTION

●

14 A GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN 57 FANCY-DRESS PARTY Kasturi Rangachari

Subroto Mukherjee

30 A BEASTLY TALE

A LUNCH BOX

Nalinaksha Bhattacharya

40 MEET YOU SOME DAY Sneha V. L.

R. R. Harshana

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

Mangop Veg Soother PA LA TE Mogler Kiwiango Summer Cooler Orange Cream Coffee Loquat Lime Shake Creamy Rabri Sip Guava Creamy Mix Masala Pistachio Fruit Shake Brownie Shake Red Lover Pine Coconuty Fusion Cinnamon Tea Punch Excellent thirst-

SO OT HE RS

s. quencher option

By Sudha Mathur

of small pieces straw METHOD fruits. Keep and Peel and make tomatoe s gourd. Chop Heat butter in a coriander leaves. and chopped cumin cooker. Add and close water, salt on slow veges. Add 30 minutes lid. Cook for liquid. Mix pepper. the heat. Strain Pour in INGREDIENTS: fresh tomatoes chill well. and Pour 1 Cool and r 500 gm red crushed ice. of fresh coriande glasses. Add 1 small bunch serve on sunny and pistachio tbsp cream leaves 1/ lemon juice gourd (lauki) day.

2 250 gm white in 1 tsp butter METHOD ingredie nts seeds (jeera) Keep all the Chill the a pinch cumin chill them. fridge and milk and 1 tsp salt also. Pour taste mango 11/ 2 litres water serving glass according to Mix well. Pour INGREDIENTS: lemon juice. cheese. black pepper per wish top with as 2 raw mangoes juice and crushed ice 2 onions 1/ cup fresh cream 2 11/ 2 cup jaggery (saunf) 1 tsp aniseed ghee 1 tsp oil or 1/ tsp cumin seeds

MANGOP

INGREDIENTS: d milk 1/ cup condense 2 juice (thick) 3/4 cup mango cottage cheese 1/ cup mashed 4 almonds and 1 tbsp chopped

Sprinkle dry and serve.

VEG SOOTHER

MOGLER

seed powder roasted cumin crushed ice black salt cottage cheese 1/ cup grated seeds powder 4 roasted cumin salt to taste dry mint powder and METHOD sugar (powder) r, deseed Peel cucumbe soda capsicum and chop grate, cut the things salt to taste mint. Put all 1/4 finely, chop blend with METHOD mangoes and blender and Peel the boiled mangoes and in a smooth. , METHOD cup water till cheese, crushed Mash the fruits. and raw mangoes water kiwi onions mango Peel Add curd, and chop the kiwi and churn with cumin, ginger add both the salts, into glasses, grate the mangoes oil in a pan, cumin ice, pour (boiled). and blend, onions. Heat both the salt, mangoes juice ds, sugar or Add Mix 11/2 aniseed, cuminsee as per taste. serve.

Stir well, add and dry mint soda and and onions.

Sprinkle Serve with and jaggery. for 10 churn well. litre water and lit it cook Add crushed ice. salt, cover a slow flame. minutes on powdered black salt, Churn lemon juice, mix well. Cool. cumin and water till required add ice in mixi jar. If with crushed half the glasses well and liquid. Mix and pour the INGREDIENTS: r serve.

1 cucumbe 1 capsicum leaves 3-4 fresh mint 1/ tsp ginger juice 4 curd 1 cup fresh INGREDIENTS:(boiled) black salt 2 raw mangoes 2 kiwi fruits 3-4 green chillies

black salt cumin seed 1/ tsp roasted 2 (powdered) juice 1 tbsp lemon dry mint salt to taste

SUMMER COOLER

KIWIANGO

2

Kiwiango

Summer cooler Mogler

Veg soother Mangop

3

12 NEWS IN PICTURES

10 THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET 26 IN-LAWS/OUT-LAWS 31 HOW I MET MY HUSBAND 44 MUSINGS, MEMORIES

63 HOW SIMILAR ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO REMEO AND JULIET’S

BOMBAY FILMDOM

NEIGHBOURS ALL MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE CROSSWORD AS YOU SAY HEAVEN

(Poem)

FEATURES 8 A MOTHER

36 GIVE A NEW LOOK 20 ONCE UPON A TIME IN AND LIFE TO YOUR PLACE BOLLYWOOD (Poem) 46 FABULOUS FEET 21 BEAUTY QUERIES 56 TEENACHE 22 INDIAN MANOEUVRE 62 YOUR BODY 32 A GIRL AT THE FAIR (Poem) 65 PERSONAL PROBLEMS 35 EFFECT (Poem) (Poem)

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66 NEW LAUNCHES MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...

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4

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5

EDITORIAL SPECIAL MARRIAGE ACT

T

his bill is being presented 4th time over. Since most of the large politicians and bigwigs have some or the other case of sexual assault, domestic violence and dowry burning, it can be safely said that there is no political will to pass this law very quickly.

The most important fact on the Special Marriage Act is the time period needed for the court to decide when the decree for Divorce can be decided upon. In case someone was to read major of the divorce petitioners and the allegations, it is seen that the husband states that the woman was no less than a whore and a drunk one at that. She used to beat him, his kids (from the earlier marriage too).

It is now proposed to amend both the Hindu Marriage Act 1955 and the Special Marriage Act 1954 with the clause that the ʻIrretrievable breakdown of Marriageʼ is a good ground for the filing of a divorce and thereafter further amend these two acts to safeguard the effects on wife and the affected children.

Presently the decree for divorce by mutual consent can be filed by both the parties before the court, and then proceed with the court within six and 18 months of the presentation of the petition. There is a cooling off period too. In many cases the court observed that one of the parties stops attending the court in this matter, and the entire process gets delayed. The delay tantamount to torture on the other party, usually the wife, who is stuck in a bond of marriage and discourtesy from the society for having filed for divorce. In order to mitigate the hardship on the woman, it is promised to amend this provision and let either of the parties pursue as per law, the decree for termination of marriage.

A further amendment is approved as that the wife may oppose the grant of divorce if she feels that adequate financial provision has not been made for her and her children, if the court holds such a plea valid. Children would include minors, unmarried or widowed daughters who do not have the financial resources to support themselves and children who have special needs- physically or in mental health.

The cause of concern for the people at large is the amendment which seeks the compensation to the wife.

The amendment seeks to attach the ancestral assets of the husband as part of the compensation. This means both in wealth and in incomes. The amendment may largely be ineffective since most of the succession plans in rich business families are seldom in place and if there are existing disputes on the ancestral property, then this part of the compensation can never be settled.

Also this amendment may lead to hunting by some immoral women who may make a case for a separation

6

and thus become wealthy, in case they are not. In the West a tradition of Pre-nuptial agreement is now common and such a provision may lead the upper class Indian society too for considering this route before the marriage is registered. However in case it is ascertained and well defined that a person has incomes and wealth passed on from ancestors, usually high valued properties in India, then the women better not be conned.

In the latest amendments many decisions have been left to the judge making the decree of Divorce judiciary dependent. For compensation and taking cognisance of the fact that a divorce may be granted after the cooling in period, the judge will be the best judge. This bill has already been cleared by the Cabinet four times and it better becomes a law.

Read along with the other two provisions on the laws related with domestic violence and live-in relationships, the new version of law supports a woman quite decently. Its another matter that the lawyers, the police and the judges will have a view in implementing it. Most of the investigations leading to divorce coupled with Domestic violence are not treated rationally by the police, hence the first complaints themselves are biased.

Unless we see these amendments in the law in themselves, it cannot be ascertained their effectiveness, especially related to the money that a woman and her children will get post separation.

FDI OPENS TO THE INDIAN Cos.

I

t can be safely said that Sonia Gandhi is getting ready for the polls. With the BJP in shatters after a change in head(s), Congress has a good chance yet again. With the recent opening up of the FDI norms in the telecom and many other sectors, the route to get legitimate and illegitimate money of the politicians back in India lies open. Also with the exchange rate as high as ever, they will get a bigger band for their buck.

Interestingly our FM was in the US while the rupee hit a serious low, which causes concern in the consciousness of the Congress towards its own country.

So with a huge booty of money coming back in the corporate India, the Congress in the Congress-ruled states and the BJP in the BJP-ruted states will flourish.

Interestingly, Rahul Gandhi is in a not to be seen and heard mode at the moment. Maybe Congress is playing a trump close to its chest. All said and done, today the India which we see, is being plundered by the Governments which rule it. Nowhere in the economic history of India (including the Mughals) has the ruling class done such a disservice to the nation as the present regimes have done with their corrupt practices and the love for money.

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

write to: letters@womansera.com We

t is parentsʼ love that they try to fulfil each and every wish of their children. They compromise with lower quality products but purchase higher ones for their children and spend unreasonably to provide a convenient living to their children. Many times, parents sacrifice their own needs to see a smile on their childrenʼs faces. They do all that maintains their status in society and keeps their children at par with their peers.

But in this process instead of benefiting their children they usually harm their overall development.

Children are very particular about their likings. If they get used to certain things it becomes very difficult to bring changes in them. So it is wise to get them used to everything available and in all situations. It is also important to make them understand the value of money from an early stage.

I

LIFESTYLE

MISTAKE PARENTS MAKE ... by not teaching their children the simpler joys of life.

By Jyoti Galada

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

Four-year-old Rahul was so addicted to sleeping in an airconditioned room that he created a lot of fuss and disturbed his parentsʼ sleep when no air-conditioned room was there in the house of their relatives where they went for a few days. His parents never thought that he would not be able to manage without air-conditioning. This was because they had never refused to having air-conditioning in their house whenever he demanded. From an early stage, they should have taught Rahul to keep air-conditioning off when it was not required as it saves energy and money.

In the same way, eight-year-old Priya had always travelled by air or the air-conditioned class of a train.

Due to financial constraints, when the family had to travel in second class in a train, she threw a lot of tantrums.

Some children just cannot travel by bus as they have never seen their parents travel in a bus.

Providing comforts to children is natural but parents should always make them ready for any adversity they may face in life. Children whose 7

A MOTHER A Mother I knew not what love was, Until I held you in my arms.

I knew not what the pang of remorse was, Until I saw your tears.

I knew not what faith was, Until I prayed for your well-being.

I knew not what shattered dreams were, Until I held you sobbing in my arms.

My baby, thanks for making my life full of joy, And the greatest of all for making me...

A Mother

– Indumathi Arasu, Jabalpur.

parents have prepared them to stay in all situations will face difficulties in life strongly without wading in the wrong direction. For this, parents too need to live in all situations without fuss as they are their childrenʼs mentors.

Geetaʼs mother carried a parti cular brand of rice that she ate when they went to their hometown as she thought Geeta would not eat the local brand available there. This was her motherʼs mistake. She should have served Geeta with the local rice and got her used to it. By providing alternative rice, her mother ruined her chance of learning to eat everything.

8

NEED VERSUS WANT Children need to understand the difference between necessary and unnecessary shopping. If each thing the children demand is purchased for them they will never value money.

Sunny had formed a habit of buying toys and stationery items every day, even if he had the same at home.

Initially his mother did not control him as the demands were of less value

IT IS IMPORTANT THAT CHILDREN UNDERSTAND HOW PRIVILEGED THEY ARE IN GETTING A GOOD FAMILY, SCHOOLING, FOOD, HOUSE, CLOTHING, LIFESTYLE, ETC. Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

and she could afford them. But as he grew up, he started demanding gadgets, gaming CDs, and branded clothes and accessories that were expensive.

Now, it became difficult to stop Sunny since he had become adamant. Each time, violence was the only resort to stop him which made him more stubborn.

His mother should have refused to buy him needless things at an early stage and made him understand the difference between need and want. Fulfilling all demands of children makes them greedy. They should be taught to make sacrifices of their wants.

More than kids, parents are excited to celebrate their childrenʼs birthdays. For kids, a small gathering of their friends and family and cakecutting is enough. But parents spend lavishly to maintain their status in society. There are alternative ways to celebrate birthdays, functions and festivals. Instead of spending thousands of rupees on fun during the event, children can be taught to donate or do some good work with that money.

Some kids of our society had utilised their vacation in making gifts and decorative items. Then they kept an exhibition to sell their work in the society premises. They asked an NGO about their requirements and purchased the same from the collection made. In this way, they spent their free time in a fruitful way and learned an important lesson of charity in life.

It is important that children understand how privileged they are in getting a good family, schooling, food, house, clothing, lifestyle, etc.

And this can be done by making them meet poor children and showing their lifestyles to the kids. Children should be made to donate not only their old toys and clothes but also buy ones for the poor. It is easy to share old, used stuff but difficult to give away a new thing.

Learning the importance of money at an early age will help children to make wise decisions relating to money in their future lives. Children

9

should know from where the money comes and how it goes, the amount of time and hard work parents put in earning money with which the daily expenses are taken care of how money can be saved and how it is wasted.

To make children understand the worth of money, let them do simple things like keeping their toys properly after they have finished playing, keeping their clothes and books neatly in the cupboard, finishing all the food in their plates and not wasting it, putting used utensils in the kitchen sink, turning off the light and fan of an empty room to save electricity, closing taps to save water and not wasting water while taking a bath and brushing teeth. All this will automatically teach them to save money. Children should be taken to stores and shown the prices of various products like soaps,

Kindness of strangers In our final year at school in Delhi, we sometimes used to have extra classes after school hours.

We used to walk to either Mandi House or Scindia House chatting, giggling and laughing; sometimes making a chaat stop at Bengali Market.

One evening at Mandi House, one by one all my classmates got into their respective buses and left.

I was the only one going to Civil Lines. After a while I noticed that all movement of traffic had stopped and except for me, there was no one on the road. Someone from the roundabout shouted out to me that all buses were being diverted from 6 p.m. No one knows why!

Heaving up my bag, I started the 10

shampoos, chocolates, clothes, accessories, etc. Expensive and cheaper ones and how money can be saved by buying cheaper products. If some broken or old items can be repaired and used, then buying new ones is wastage of money.

Older children should be given pocket money only when they help in household work so that children appreciate money and use it to purchase required items. They should be encouraged to use their saved money for some charitable purpose like buying biscuits, crayons and colouring books, pencils and rubbers and giving it to street children.

Children should be taken for vacations not only to exotic places but also villages and forests that expose them to the lifestyles of rural We and poor people.

trudge towards Scindia House. It took me 20 minutes and a splitting headache to reach there, only to join a serpentine queue. I was in a daze when I finally got into a bus. No seat, only sweaty bodies and lecherous men trying to act funny. There wasnʼt even space for me to push them away.

And then, I dropped the only coin I had. My bus fare! Panic filled me!

And then I got another shock. After Kashmere Gate, instead of going straight to Alipur Road/Civil Lines, the bus took the left turn that led to the Police Lines on Rajpur Road.

By then, my head was pounding and I had no money for the ticket. I was frantic!

A gentle hand on my shoulder made me turn. I found myself looking into a genial, kindly face and blurted out my predicament. She patted my cheek, bought my ticket and, holding me by the hand, led me to the exit.

The bus was approaching Kingsway Camp.

She got down with me, got me into a correct bus with a rupee note in my hand, cautioning me with a smile to keep it carefully. She waited till the Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

bus had started moving. I was so overwhelmed that I could only thank her with my eyes. Words would not come!

I did not know who that lady was or where she lived but my saviourʼs face will always remain etched in my memory.

– Madhu Kamath, Secunderabad.

Has something happened in your life that has left an indelible impression on your mind? Some experience that gladdens your heart or which makes you shudder with pain or embarrassment even after years! Why not share it with the readers of Woman’s Era? All published incidents will be paid Rs 200. Send your entries to: THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.

Womansera.com Name: Mobile: E-mail:

11

Rihanna performs

The frozen carcass of a 39,000-year-old female wooly woolly mammoth named Yuka from the Siberian permafrost is displayed at an exhibition in Yokohama, suburban Tokyo running from 13 July to 16 September at Pacifico Yokohama.

Chitrangada Singh poses with the newly unveiled Micromax Canvas 4 smartphone in New Delhi on 8 July. The new 5-inch Micromax Canvas 4 powered by a Cortex A7 1.2 GHz quad-core processor, equipped with 13 megapixel rear camera, 1 GB RAM and an internal storage of 16 gigabytes will be available in India for Rs 17,999.

Micromax smartphone

Centuries-old carcass

Snails crawl on the face of a woman for the demonstration of a new beauty treatment at a beauty salon in Tokyo on 13 July. Slime from snails helps remove old cells, heal the skin after sun burn and moisturise as claimed by an employee of the salon.

12

Barbadian singer Rihanna performs on stage on 10 July in Monaco.

Snails for beauty

Supermodel cycle

Kooza show

Largest, rarest flower

Victoria's Secret models attend the 3rd Annual Supermodel Cycle at SoulCycle, West Village on 10 July in New York City.

Here is the Titan Arum (Amorphophallus titanum) flower in the national botanical garden in Meise. The Titan, Arum, one of the world's largest, rarest and smelliest flowers, is in bloom in a Brussels hot house for the third time in five years in a rare botanical feat for a plant that generally goes years without blooming.

Walking past a limousine

Acrobats perform during a general rehearsal of the Cirque du Soleil's Grand Chapiteau Kooza show in Knokke-Heist on 17 July.

A Gnawa dancer walks past a limousine on 26 June in a street of the Moroccan coastal city of Tangier.

13

Short Story

A glimpse of heaven What made a drunken workman change for the better?

By Kasturi Rangachari

I

think that, as a child, I learnt most about life from the talk and activities of the people who lived in the one-room tenements or outhouses as they were called, behind the various houses we lived in. I expect my brother Avik who is two years older than I am did too, but I am sure that the lessons he learnt were very different from those that I learnt. That was inevitable since we were so different. I was a dreamer who loved to read and to listen to people talking. He was an extrovert rebel who loved the company of other extrovert rebels and made heroes of people who got into fights and made trouble for themselves and others.

Avik and I were left pretty much to ourselves when we were young. Perhaps my parents in their infinite wisdom realised that we counter-balanced each other so well that we made a fine team and could be depended upon to keep each other out of most kinds of trouble. Anyway it was inevitable that when my father was transferred to Sitarampur in Bihar and we moved into the sprawling, badly maintained but cool and beautiful bungalow earmarked for the chief medical officer of the project, both Avik and I spent a lot of our free time at the back of the compound among the people who lived in the outhouses.

It was also inevitable that there I should be attracted to old Puran with his wrinkled old face and endless fund of stories and anecdotes and Avik to his son, Dolan.

Puran and Dolan and lived in one of the 14

outhouses. Puran was small, old and dried up and spent most of his time sitting on the broken stone platform around the big banyan tree that cast its deep shade over the outhouses, smoking bidis and staring into space contemplatively. He would talk if you began a conversation with him but, left to himself, he preferred silence. He subsisted on a microscopic pension that was all he had to show for 30 years of work on the project.

“What about your PF and other benefits?” I asked wisely one day. I was 10 and knew about these things.

“My son…Dolan… had needs…” he said vaguely without any resentment or regret and then fell silent.

I understood. Dolan had wasted his father’s retirement benefits.

D

olan was tall and barrel-chested and seemed to spend most of his time being drunk and disorderly, singing songs and dancing and quarrelling and fighting with anyone who crossed him. He hated to go to work, though he had a perfectly good job in the project.

But he was good-looking in a cheap, flamboyant way and I suppose there was a kind of dashing charm about him because there was usually a small crowd, which always included Avik, hanging around him. And even I, at 10, knew that women found him wildly attractive.

Avik loved the stories Dolan told him, which were always about his own exploits. I found them tedious and full

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

15

attracted to. There was nothing loud or flamboyant of exaggeration. I loved the tales Puran told me. about her. Instead there was a serene, patient look Avik found Puran’s tales boring and the old man’s on her face. long pauses between sentences intolerable.

Dolan was still shouting at the silent woman when I found it quite inexplicable that Puran should the crowd parted to let Puran through. He stood and have fathered a son like Dolan. They had literally listened to his ranting and ravting son and then nothing in common, neither looks nor nature. Puran turned and looked at the girl, his eyes inscrutable. was short and slim, Dolan was big. Puran was a Dolan fell silent. He shuffled his feet and glanced at mild, soft-spoken, generous and good man but I had his father uneasily. my doubts about Dolan. He was always in trouble “I didn’t marry her!” he blustered. and seemed to have more enemies than friends.

Puran ignored him. “Did he marry you?” he asked “Dolan’s mother died when he was five,” Puran the woman and she nodded. told me one day. “A snake bit her. I took her to the “Where?” medical centre at once, but their stock of medicine She pointed to the top of the hill behind the for snake bites was exhausted. They put her in a outhouses, where a little temple stood.

Jeep and took her to the big hospital in town. But it “And your parents? Do they agree to this was too late.” marriage?”

“What did you do?” I asked in a horrified whisper. he woman shook her head as her eyes filled Puran looked at me with his wise, patient eyes. with tears. She slowly turned and there was a “Nothing,” he said. collective sigh as we all saw the welts on her “But...but they should have had the medicine! back, above and below her blouse. She turned back There are so many snakes here!” and faced Puran. She still did not speak.

“They didn’t have it.”

“Do you think that she’s dumb?” Avik “But…” A faraway look whispered to me.

But Puran was lost in his thoughts. Long came into her Puran gazed at the woman for a long moments later, he turned to me. “Her eyes and she was silent for moment and then reached out and touched name was Sheel,” he said. “She was long moments. her arm. “Go in, bahu,” he said. kind, gentle…good. Perhaps if she had Then suddenly The woman’s eyes filled with tears. She lived Dolan... my son…her son…would she gave an gave Puran an infinitely grateful look and have been different.” almost walked to the door of the outhouse. Dolan I thought of Dolan’s cold wildness and incongruous did not move but she squeezed herself past doubted it. giggle and pulled the end of him, cowering and raising the bundle she few days after that, shouts and her sari over her held protectively over her face as she did so raised voices from the outhouses laughing mouth and went in. and looked at me Dolan stood there looking uncertain and had Avik and me racing from the with dancing the crowd dispersed silently. Puran walked bungalow across the sparse dry grass, eyes. to his usual place on the broken stone towards the commotion. A small crowd platform around the big banyan tree. Then had gathered around Dolan’s front door.

Dolan swore loudly and strode sullenly away Dolan himself stood in the doorway, legs apart, swinging his heavy head from side to side like a bull towards the back gate, hitching his soiled lungi higher on his hairy, muscular legs. at bay, bellowing.

A few days later I noticed a pot, broken at the “Who the hell is this woman to say that she is my neck, standing to one side of the door of Puran’s wife and that she will live here in my outhouse? If outhouse. Someone had filled it with mud and every woman I have bedded thinks that she is my planted a sprig of green in it. I stared at it. It was wife then I’ll have more wives than Krishna had amazing how that broken pot changed the look of gopis!” he snarled. the house. The woman came to the door of the I turned to look at the woman standing in front of house and watched me as I gazed at the pot. When the doorway. She had a bundle under her arm and I looked at her she smiled at me and I smiled back. looked stricken, but she said nothing.

We became friends, Kesho and I. She loved I felt a slight sense of surprise as I looked at her. plants and flowers and I brought her some pots with Just then Avik sniggered and dug his elbow into my plants growing in them from our garden. A rose side. plant was struggling to bloom in one. She thanked “That woman is Dolan bhaiya’s wife, Ajay?” he me graciously. “I’ll water the plants every day and giggled echoing my thought. soon they’ll bear beautiful flowers,” she told me.

The woman didn’t look like one Dolan would be

T

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

17

day!”

How had this serene, quiet woman come to be This was news indeed! Add this to the fact that attracted by a loud-mouthed oaf like Dolan, I there had been no drunk bellowing and shouting in wondered and one day, a few weeks later, I got up the outhouses for about the same time and, yes, the courage to ask her.

Dolan appeared to be happy about Kesho and the “Where did you meet Dolan bhaiya, bhabhiji?” I baby! asked her as she sat on the stone platform encircling The days passed and Kesho’s stomach grew the banyan tree crocheting, the usual serene look on bigger and bigger. And then one day Puran came her face. “How did you come to marry him?” half-running to the bungalow.

She lifted her head and stared at me, surprised at “Doctor sahib! Memsahib!” he called out from the the question. front verandah in a trembling voice.

“Tell me, bhabhiji!”

A faraway look came into her eyes and she was went out with Avik and my mother. The old man silent for long moments. Then suddenly she gave an was sweating and wringing his hands. Tears almost incongruous giggle and pulled the end of her stood in his eyes and I could see that he was sari over her laughing mouth and looked at me with trembling. dancing eyes. She didn’t say anything, but she “My bahu slipped and fell and went into labour looked so gay, so sparkling, that young as I was, I early!” he said in a husky voice. “And the dai says understood. The when, where and how of it were that something is wrong! She’s trying but she says unimportant. The fact of the matter was that she had that she can’t manage the delivery!” He joined his met Dolan and fallen in love with him and married trembling hands and raised them to his forehead. him.

“Please do something! Please save Kesho!” he There was something else that my innocent but begged my mother. observant eyes told me. Kesho was going My father wasn’t at home. My mother to have a baby.

I went out with phoned for an ambulance and then she “Kesho bhabhi is nice!” I told my Avik and my and Puran ran towards the outhouses. Avik brother. “I went into their outhouse mother. The and I followed them. yesterday and it was so different from how A deathly silence reigned there. Clusters it used to be. It was so neat and...” I old man was of women stood quietly around Puran’s paused and thought, my brow wrinkled, “It sweating and door.

There were no sounds to be heard looks like…like…” wringing his from inside either. As we reached there, a I didn’t know then what to say. It was hands. Tears flustered old woman came to the door, only when I was much older that I stood in his carrying a bundle in her arms. She thrust understood that with Kesho’s coming, the eyes and I the bundle into the arms of one of the outhouse looked a home. women standing there. “It’s a boy,” she Avik frowned at me. “Dolan bhaiya has could see that said. “Look after it.” She then turned to changed,” he complained. “Now, he isn’t he was Puran. “Quickly!” she cried to him. as much fun!” trembling.

“Something must be done quickly! She’s Yes, Dolan now came back drunk less going!” The sound of long, low moans often and got into fewer fights! could now be heard.

My mother half-ran into the room. The woman to or some reason the outhouse women muttered whom the dai had given the baby went away into angrily about Kesho’s baby. That surprised me. her own outhouse. A few women went with her.

Pregnant women and babies were generally My mother seemed to be gone a long time. The made much of by them. Avik gave me a side-long moans from inside stopped. Kesho bhabhi knew that glance and remained silent when I mentioned this to her baby had been born and was happy, I decided. him, but Puran, when I asked him why, just waved So she had stopped moaning. the matter away.

I became aware of the women around me moving “My grandchild!” he said with an air of great restlessly and looked around. Dolan had come home satisfaction. “My grandchild will soon play here!” from work and stood looking at the door of his “Is Dolan bhaiya as happy as you are about the outhouse as another man whispered in his ear. As baby? And about Kesho bhabhi?” I enquired.

Puran chuckled. “He’d rather die than admit it but he listened, Dolan froze. Puran did not notice his presence. His eyes were fixed on the closed door to he is!” he said in a conspiratorial manner.

“Yesterday he brought Kesho a packet of sweets and his home.

A few minutes later an ambulance sped in last week, a new sari. And,” he paused for effect, through the back gate and screeched to a halt near “for the last two months, he has gone to work every

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

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where we were all standing. At almost the same moment my mother came out of the room shaking her head. She looked deeply sad.

“You are too late,” she said soberly to the ambulance orderlies who were taking a stretcher out.

M

y eyes were on Puran. The old man gave a shuddering sob and began to weep silently.

Moving slowly on trembling legs he went to where his son was standing as if turned to stone. He caught hold of Dolan’s arm and pulled him close.

And all at once the two men were clasped in each other’s arms, weeping. Men all around them began to murmur and the women began to shed tears.

My parents didn’t let us go to the outhouses all the next week. Then one day I managed to sneak away and make my way to the banyan tree.

It was evening. Puran sat there staring into space.

Next to him on a mat lay Dolan’s sleeping son, wrapped in an old sheet. I stared at the child without speaking. Just then I saw Dolan come in through the back gate. He looked tired and his clothes were

grimy and oil-stained.

This was a Dolan I had never seen before. The wildness I had always seen on his face was gone and its place was a melancholic gravity. He walked heavily and wearily and came and sat next to his father. Neither said a word.

Both the men sat silently looking at the sleeping baby. As they stared, something about them made them look for the first time like father and son to my surprised eyes.

Just then the baby stirred and gave a weak cry.

Puran picked up the feeding bottle that stood beside him and turned to feed the baby. But Dolan had already picked his son up. He held out his hand for the bottle and Puran gave it to him. Dolan then began to feed his son.

I turned and began to walk back home. I passed Dolan’s outhouse and saw that the flowers in the pots were blooming. Someone was looking after them.

Years later I read somewhere that to love is to get a glimpse of heaven. And I thought of Dolan.

We

Once Upon a Time in Bollywood...

Production houses and not business tycoons called the shots Story writers and directors were fuelled by originality and passion and not brainless remakes Lyricists put their soul and not English rap and cuss words into the songs Music directors spent hours to compose original tunes and not remixes Singers did riyaz with live orchestras and did not follow the cut/paste method Artistes bonded with the singers, directors and story writers and not with PR agencies Actors/actresses concentrated on acting and not on advertisements and marketing gimmicks Heroes flaunted their talents and not six-pack abs Heroines valued their dignity and not item numbers Stories reflected the Indian ethos and not our ‘foreign-fixation’ Movies were made from the heart and not just for the box office Once upon a time there was MAGIC in our movies but not any more...

– Sharada Iyer.

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

same time. Laser is the only permanent method of removing these marks, and will need many sessions.

I am a 32-year-old woman who is two monthsʼ pregnant. I am desperate to avoid getting stretch marks on my stomach, waist and thighs – like my sister did when she had her baby.

Please tell me what to do.

Stretch marks can be effectively prevented although healing them is very difficult. So, itʼs good that you are planning to avoid these. Stretch marks are caused in the deeper dermal layer of the skin where weight gain causes elasticity to be lost and there is a breakdown of connective tissue. Later, when there is weight loss, the stretched skin tissue shows brown or red lines which soon become translucent stretch marks.

Genetics has a part to play too.

This problem could run in families, and since your sister suffered from this, you could also do so.

Starting right away, keep your tummy, waist, thigh and other weightgaining areas well moisturised with a cream that boosts collagen. This means the cream or lotion should contain retinol, a vitamin A derivative.

This will help the dermis to retain its elasticity.

There are special anti-stretch mark creams available in the market.

Use these to prevent and heal at the

Since my hair is going grey, I have started using permanent dye to colour it. My problem is that within 10 days of the dyeing, white roots begin to show in my hair. This looks very unsightly but what should I do?

Dye again very soon simply to hide the roots? The rest of my shoulder length hair continues to hold the dye colour.

It is natural for the growing roots to be grey after a short while – how soon depends on how fast your hair grows. Since you use permanent dye, the rest of your hair will not turn grey again.

You will have to use dye to colour the roots at periodic intervals – thereʼs no escape from this! In case you want to delay the colouring process, or have no time to dye your hair before going out for an important occasion, you can use a touch-up pencil or gel which you can get in the market. You can even use a creamy mascara or a kajal stick to colour the roots. But remember, this colour will smear – on hands, or clothing if touched – and is good only for the time being. ● For fresh and glowing skin, mix honey with rose water. Apply it on your face, leave it for 15 mins & rinse with cold water. ● To get a fairer complexion, mix cucumber water, turmeric and Dabur Gulabari, apply on your face for 15-20 mins then rinse off with water. ● Worried about your skin exposed to dirt and pollution every day? Cleanse your skin with Dabur Gulabari before going to the bed at night and see your glowing skin next morning. ● Try this Milk Mask: Mix one tbsp of milk powder and gram flour with two tbsp of Dabur Gulabari Gulab Jal and apply on your face.

Wash after 20 minutes, you would be amazed to see the difference.

21

Indian manoeuvre Lovely Indian fashion sensibilities.

Mayur: Symbol of prosperity and joy. This mayur pendant and earing is surely charm you.

Indian print: Lovely colour synchronisation and printed motif.

Sparkling feets: Golden and bronze shade Kolhapuri Chappals.

Hot chikankari: Beautiful colour and pattern describes this chudidar kurta the best.

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Capturing and enticing womenwear.

High style: A very chic combo of plazzo pants and leopard print top.

Hot wrists: Chronograph watches for woman in two shade wrist band.

Couture dressing: Structured dress with tube top and sequined detailing.

Sunburn: Tan is the 驶it始 colour for this season Pick these wooden wedges in tan leather.

Courtesy: SincerelyYours Rajinder Nagar, New Delhi. (M): +91 9811015559

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or a traditional country like India where marriage occupies a sacramental position, a live-in relationship is neither legally nor socially acceptable. However, the influence of western culture has affected the customs and rituals of the country. The rise of the live-in culture in metro cities indicates it.

But the recent verdict of the Madras High Court has ignited a debate on premarital sex. Justice C S Karnan did not allow a man to escape from his parental responsibilities and directed him to pay the woman maintenance of Rs. 500 per month observing that evidence proved that they lived together for about five years and had two children during the period.

A revolutionary verdict can be referred right as the court here provides a shield to those women who have been lured by men, who on the pretext of false promise of marriage fulfil their sexual desire and later desert the girls. The court

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LIVING-IN VERSUS

MARRIAGE

Madras High Court ruling sparks debate on scripting legal definition of live-in relationship.

By Amiya Kumar Kushwaha

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verdict was totally based on the documentary proof of the second child of the couple, where the man had given his consent to a Caesarean section and had officially admitted himself to be the husband of the petitioner. The court said that the main legal aspect for a valid marriage is the consummation between both spouses and had happened even before the formalities of customary rites pertaining to a wedding ceremony.

“If the consummation has taken place between the spouses (bachelors and spinsters) then from that time onwards both are declared husband and wife,” the court ruled saying that it would strengthen the Indian culture and would protect the young womenʼs welfare, character and status in society. “The verdict is completely justified because our society is still not through with the male dominance and to fight back, females need support like these. At least now, a male won't boast about his promiscuity,” Vandana, a student said. However, the judgeʼs opinion on the premarital sex went viral on social networking sites and was criticised by various legal experts too.

Criticism of order: When the Madras High Court controversial order was flashed in the media, a large number of people tweeted their views on Twitter slamming the judgeʼs views on premarital sex.

“After the Madras HC observations, live-in relationships would now be considered as legal marriages...,” and various other tweets were found on social sites, whereas a large number of people considered it as a faulty judgment.

Actor and producer Kamaal Khan tweeted on the order, “Ruling means everybody should be virgin to get married.” Senior advocate Geeta Luthra described it as an absurd order and said that the verdict has led to a heavy price for sexual gratification of a boy and girl and it will foster adverse consequences in marital status. “The judge has said that if a woman aged 18 or above has a sexual relationship with a man, aged 21 or above, and during the

course of such relationship, if the woman becomes pregnant, she would henceforth be treated as the 'wife' and the man would be treated as the 'husband'. Such an interpretation will result in hostile consequence,” she said.

Advocate Luthra added that the judge has failed to address the apex court order in D Velusamy vs D Patchaiammal passed by a bench of Justices Markandey Katju and T S Thakur. Here the court had opined that not all live-in relationships will amount to a relationship in the nature of marriage to get the benefit under the Domestic Violence Act of 2005.

“Rationale of this judgment has not laid down the same parameter of apex court order and focus is on two unmarried couple and sexual intercourse has given a shape of marriage without performance of rituals,” the senior advocate said.

Will establishing sexual relationship with anyone be

WHEN THE MADRAS HIGH COURT CONTROVERSIAL ORDER WAS FLASHED IN THE MEDIA, A LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE TWEETED THEIR VIEWS ON TWITTER SLAMMING THE JUDGE’S VIEWS ON PREMARITAL SEX.

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

determined as legal marriage? With such questions, the order seems to be illogical and drew a line between martial and premarital relationships.

Various legal experts claimed that the judgment will change the definition of marriage as sex alone cannot define it. Many experts opined that marriage will lose its value if deserted women citing the order will claim maintenance from their live-in partners. "Establishment of sexual relationship by a couple could not be claimed as valid marriage. Purely as a legal proposition, this definition of marriage would be unsustainable in law,” senior advocate Rebecca John said. However the experts have also opined that considering the facts of the case, the court has awarded the right to a woman who has knocked at the door of the law demanding maintenance from her former live-in partner for their two children.

Legal value of marriage: A live-in relationship is not acceptable in Indian society. However, the influence of the western culture had let the youth of metropolitan cities to make it as a part of their lives to get rid of stress. The court verdict has demanded to script a legal definition of live-in relationships. According to the Madras High Court, "If any couple chooses to consummate their sexual cravings, then that act becomes a total commitment with adherence to all consequences that may follow, except on certain exceptional circumstances. So if a boy of 21 years and an 18-year-old girl decide to ʻconsummate their sexual cravingsʼ, then either of them could go to the nearest family court with proof of their sexual act and claim to be married to the other.”

Advocate Geeta Luthra said that according to Hindu Marriage Act, wedding gets legal value after the performance of process like saptapadi (seven steps around sacred fire). As the couple was Muslim here, so for a Muslim couple, without nikah, the marriage will not get legal value. The court view that tying of thali, exchange of garlands, exchanging of finger rings are just 25

marriage formalities and it will lead to extremely absurd consequences.

Even various priests also slammed the court view in this regard. Maulana Makimmudin said that live-in culture does not exist in the Muslim religion and pre-marital sex is not acceptable in any case.

“The marriage will be termed as null and void if it does not follow the process of nikah,” he said adding that it is necessary that offer and acceptance made in the presence and hearing of two male or female witnesses and recording the factum of marriage in the nikah register maintained in every mosque and signed by the parties and attested by witnesses. Meanwhile, the govern ment has passed a resolution for the registration of marriage to grant legal rights.

A marriage which has already been solemnised can be registered either under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, or under the Special Marriage Act, 1954. The Hindu Marriage Act is applicable in cases where both husband and wife are Hindus, Buddhists, Jains or Sikhs, or where they have converted into any of these religions. Where either of the husband or wife or both are not Hindus, Buddhists, Jains or Sikhs, the marriage is registered under the Special Marriage Act, 1954.

Loving mother-in-law The incident is not very old. The wedding of our daughter was to take place in Navi Mumbai. Certain special rituals were to start in connection with the wedding. The guests had started arriving. My mother-in-law asked me to bring mustard oil in a bowl so that all the ladies could start applying the mustard oil on the face, arms and legs of the bride, as part of the prewedding rituals. Everyone was eagerly waiting in the main hall for this joyful ritual to begin.

I was about to pour the oil from the bottle into the bowl. But, in a hurry, my hands shook and the oil 26

However, if one goes by the Madras High Court verdict, then it is possible that men who deserted her live-in partners and solemensied marriages with other women can also face charges of polygamy. The legal experts said that the judge has failed to define the number of sexual encounters and days of living together and it can create difficult situation later.

fell on my expensive sari. Everybody was shocked and exclaimed “Oh!” I was affraid that my mother-in-law would not like my clumsy ways. But, to my surprise, she said “Do not bother and relax. It is a good omen!”

On hearing this I was really relieved and everyone in the hall came into an easy mood again. My niece said to me, “Mausiji, you are very lucky. If it was my mother-in-law, I would have been branded as a careless and awkward person.”

When I remember this episode, I feel proud of my mother-in-law for being so considerate and understanding.

– Usha Gupta, Gurgaon.

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

Live-in relationship: According to the UK Office for National Statistics report, divorce rate has declined due to live-in relationships.

International studies have suggested that couples are more likely to separate if they live together first, compared with those who move in only after their wedding. According to senior advocate Luthra, if a couple share the same shelter as partners for a statutory period of two years, then it can be referred to as a marriage in a few foreign countries.

Looking over the change in lifestyle of youth of the country, Chief Justice of Orissa High Court C Nagappan once urged for recognising live-in relationships. Even the apex court also did not regard a live-in relationship as an offence and said that, rather, it is a fundamental right of personal liberty. Since a live-in relationship in the nation is not socially acceptable, the court has expressed anxiety over the commitment and responsibility of the couple in such a relationship and said that the possibility of a break-up in the live-in is much higher in martial relationships.

However, in India, there is no legal version to define live-in relationships but the apex court in an order has opined that, "if a man and a woman are living under the same roof and cohabiting for a number of years, there will be presumption under Section 114 of the Evidence Act that they live as husband and wife and the children born to them will not be illegitimate." Recently, Madhya Pradesh Womenʼs Policy 2013-2017, in its draft, has included the legal rights of live-in partners. The Supreme Court in a current ruling has observed that a woman who has lived in a live-in relationship for a long period of time should enjoy the same rights that a married woman is entitled to. It is done to prevent the exploitation of women.

In the Madras High Court verdict, if an unmarried couple of the right legal age “indulges in sexual gratification, this will be considered a valid marriage and they could be We termed as husband and wife.”

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FACIAL

IMPROVEMENT UNDER A KNIFE

What you should know about face cosmetic surgery. By Nidhi Gandhi ou might have heard about how medicinal science has advanced and many people go for a facial cosmetic surgery, but may usually wonder why you would need it. Well, in that case, it is ideal to learn that facial surgery is a broad term and it gets split into many small segments. In a more modernised form, you need to specifically mention about what a cosmetic surgery for face is referring to – the nose, wrinkles, eyelids, eyebrows, jaws or something else? Here is some know-how in this regard.

Y

Many types of facial cosmetic surgery: There are many different outcomes that can be expected by way of a facial cosmetic surgery. One of the most common reasons people go for this surgery is to remove the signs of ageing. It is a completely cosmetic reason and the surgeonʼs focus on that drooping under the eyes or facial wrinkles because of which an individualʼs face has lost youthfulness. It is the miracle of cosmetic treatment that this lost youthfulness can be regained.

Another approach in this regard can 28

be seen as the eyebrow lift in which the brows are targeted, to bring about a similar outcome.

However, there are also methods in which people like the noses to be reshaped and brought in harmony with their face. Facial rejuvenation is already a known fragment in this respect.

imperative that you are in expert hands. Surgery is basically referred to passing under the knife.

Though a facial cosmetic surgery is not that severe an issue, you must still look for an experienced cosmetic surgeon who has a name and has specialisation in this specific segment.

Reasons behind picking facial cosmetic surgery: Besides cosmetic reasons – or to be more specific, gaining an enhanced facial look – which is the prime objective behind face cosmetic surgery, there also are other factors that demand individuals to pick this form of surgery. Accidents of any kind and having had their impact over face can bring slight to major distortions in the facial areas.

The internal well-being of an individual can be well ensured through the medicinal treatment but, if the impact of the accident is showing in the form of some deformity over face, it needs to be corrected through facial cosmetic surgery.

Simplicity aspect of facial surgery: Facial cosmetic surgeries are usually simple to incorporate. As a result, they do not call for a long hospitalisation or a hefty prescription.

Pre-and post-surgery precautions though are included, yet they are simple to adopt.

Need of an expert hand: For whichever reasons you have decided to take up cosmetic surgery, it is Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

Gaining insight in your specific case: With so many options available for varying cosmetic needs, it is never a bad idea to gather know-how on what in particular you want to achieve through this surgery. For example, if you are going for blepharoplasty, you must be sure whether your target area is upper eyelids or the lower portion. Having a detailed discussion with your surgeon helps you know everything you must, before going ahead with We the surgery.

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Short Story

A Beastly Tale Entertainment in a bus shelter on a rainy day.

By Nalinaksha Bhattacharya

I

t was raining hard and Sumita was stranded at the Shyambazar bus stop. At four in the afternoon she was to appear at an interview for a data entry operator’s job in a private firm at Salt Lake. There was still time, 45 minutes to be precise, but she feared she wouldn’t be able to make it because the bus service in north Kolkata was seriously disrupted by the heavy rains that had been falling since morning. In the past 10 minutes she hadn’t seen a single bus or a taxi on the road.

Sumita was not alone in the bus shelter. A bearded, saffron-clad mendicant of indeterminate age occupied the dry corner with a small bundle.

Facing him stood a gigantic white stray bull with a wounded humpback with clustering flies.

Occasionally, the muscles around the wound twitched a little but the flies were not disturbed.

Under the bull slept a brown street dog with its

30

muzzle resting on the wet concrete floor. While the man and the two beasts were motionless, frozen in a sort of tableau, the girl looked tense and fidgety.

After every few minutes she looked at the sky, the deserted road that looked hazy in the pelting rain, and then at her small wrist-watch. She held her umbrella like an unsheathed sword, ready to unfurl it with the press of a button and dash out from the shelter if a bus turned up. It should turn up, for she needed a job very badly to attract a husband.

Sumita’s father had been scouring the matrimonial websites for quite some time and had also put an ad in the Sunday Ananda Bazar but the response was not very encouraging. Sumita knew it was not easy for a plain-looking girl from a lower middle-class family to attract a suitable boy unless she is supported by a hefty dowry or a secure job in a good company. In the past two years she had

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

appeared in more than a dozen matrimonials without any success. The boys came with their parents, friends and relatives, gobbled rosogollas and sandesh, asked her a few silly questions and then departed, assuring Sumita’s father to call back which, of course, they never did.

Sumita was already 26 and her mother was worried about her future.

Hardly 25 minutes were left before the interview when, answering Sumita’s silent prayers, a red Kolkata Corporation bus appeared on the road. She pressed the button of her umbrella and dashed out on the road, waving her left hand to attract the driver’s attention. The bus came to a screeching halt and Sumita stepped on to the footboard. But, as she saw the bus empty without a single passenger, she jumped down and rushed back to the bus shelter, panic-stricken, as if she had seen a ghost. A burly conductor with a handlebar moustache craned his neck out of the window and broke into a leery grin, revealing a pair of paan-stained black teeth. “Come on girl,” called the conductor.” I am not a rakshash.” But Sumita didn’t believe him.

S

he had recently read some reports in the newspapers about girls being molested on deserted streets and in empty buses. Obviously, Kolkata was no longer as safe for women as it was even a few years ago. In fact, she felt relieved when the bus drove away towards the Belgachhia flyover even though she knew that her only chance of appearing for the interview was now gone. Still, Sumita waited hoping against hope that one of those yellow Kolkata taxis might turn up any moment and rush her to Salt Lake, which was only 5m away, just in time.

Five precious, anxious minutes passed. Then the bull stirred, breaking the tableau. It moved forward a little and lowered its head to sniff the holy man’s matted hair and then his bundle.

“Nothing eatable in it, sonny,” the mendicant assured the bull.

But the bull wouldn’t take that, it snorted and shook its head, its thick, pointed horns almost brushing his chest. The mendicant looked scared, but he could still manage to crawl out of the bull’s reach. However, it seemed he was not yet prepared to lose his dry corner. He rather tried to appease the beast by scratching its dewlap, but it refused to be diverted.

“Baba! Shiva-Shambhu!” cried the mendicant as the bull snapped at his bundle. “Look, there’s nothing eatable in it.” He fumbled with the knot and brought out a soiled dhoti and a vest, both dyed saffron, a dog-eared copy of the Geeta and a rudraksha rosary. The bull tugged at the vest and

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A Girl at the Fair

Her hair blew over her eyes When I saw her standing beside.

She bought a balloon and smiled so gladly Hugged her father and played madly.

She kept her clutch firm to it She adored its every bit.

On the see-saw, on the swing She held it firm on everything.

Not for a second did her smile fade With that balloon her day was made.

I saw her running here and there This made me wonder of its flair She bought candies she ate an ice-cream That gave her eyes a deeper gleam.

She showed it to her mother and laughed aloud She flaunted it before everyone in that crowd I saw her moving between her parents Shopping something from the tents Suddenly they stopped and her eyes were calm I saw her clinging to her father’s arm.

He took a note from his pocket Put it into a broken basket That was held by a young lad In rugged clothes who was clad This girl I saw looked at him Asked her father about something He took the note and went ahead The girl followed him to the shed With a smile she gave her balloon And a fistful of candies from her pantaloons He took it with a broad smile Same that she had before a while.

This little angel at the fair Taught me a great lesson in care …

– Ojaswini Srivastava.

32

started chewing it up, its head bobbing up and down as the vest slowly disappeared into its cavernous mouth. The mendicant now joined his palms and started reciting Shiva stotra, a paean to Lord Shiva, in a loud, sob-tinged voice.

The recitation had no effect on the carrier of Lord Shiva, but it helped the mendicant to regain his composure and perhaps refurbish his faith in maya, the illusory nature of the material world. He wiped his tears and offered his dhoti as soon as the bull finished the vest. Sumita was amazed at the bull’s unusual appetite for clothes. She had seen stray bulls desultorily chewing sanitary napkins in the garbage dumping ground, but this one seemed to be a real connoisseur of clothes.

She was soon proved wrong as the bull, having finished the dhoti and the wrap cloth, claimed the Bhagavad Geeta for its dessert. It rejected the hard cover and gobbled the yellow pages. Only a fragment, a quarter page from the last chapter stuck out from its jaw. In one of the unchewed slokas Lord Krishna concluded his great sermon before the Mahabharata war with these words, “Have you listened carefully, Arjuna? Do you still have doubts?”

The satisfied bull now decided to sit down. The sleeping dog got alarmed by the clattering of hoofs and moved out from under the bull’s huge belly. It stretched itself, shook off some of the rain water from its coat to Sumita’s sari, yawned, sniffed the damp air and then nestled against the bull’s hind part as the latter settled down on its haunches, unsettling a few flies from its hump. For a while, the dog gloomily watched the rain fall, snapped several times at a fly trying to settle on its nose, scratched its ear with its hind leg and finally rested its muzzle on the floor, keeping its eyes half-open. The mendicant too closed his eyes and started clicking the beads of his rosary, the only item he could save from the omnivorous bull’s jaws.

S

umita looked at her watch. It was 10 minutes past four, so there was no point in waiting for a bus or a taxi any longer. She unfurled her umbrella and hitched up her sari for her 10-minute walk home through rain and slush. She was about to leave the bus shelter when she noticed a small green frog hopping towards her as if it wanted to cut across the bus shelter to the other side, probably to join its mates in a puddler for a good croaking session.

It jumped blindly against the hulking beast again and again without success. Was the bull aware of the frog’s desperate attempts? Sumita had doubts.

They reminded her of her many unsuccessful test for jobs and matrimonial interviews. She could easily pick up the frog on her palm and release it on the other side, but she wanted the bull to move, to give

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

way. The brute, insensitive creature, had occupied too much space for too long. In a vengeful mood, Sumita moved to the bull’s rear to jab her umbrella into its rump and drive it out into the rain. She raised the umbrella for the blow but hesitated as the lurking fear in her weakened her determination. Suppose the bull charged her and grabbed her sari?

Just then the bull turned its head with Lord Krishna’s concluding lines in the Geeta still sticking out of its jaw. Those lines reminded Sumita of another oft-repeated sloka from the second chapter of the holy book in which Krishna urged Arjuna to do his duty without thinking about its consequences.

Sumita brought down the umbrella on the bull’s rump with all her might.

We

Off-hand treatment attracts I had just reached Delhi from Chennai after a very tough and nightmarish meeting with a client.

My parents expected me to meet a guy who was working in Mumbai and visiting Delhi as I was almost 30 years old and they wanted me to get married and settle down. I hadn’t slept for almost two nights and was very tired. I had gone straight to the office from the airport and the guy was to come to my office. We were to meet at 1pm. Sharp at 1 pm, the guard announced that there was someone to see me. I walked to the reception to see a very tall and handsome guy waiting for me. We went out to lunch and since I was tired, we hardly spoke and then he dropped me back to office. Since I wasn’t keen to get married anyway, on getting home I told my parents that I didn’t like the guy. Surprisingly the next day, I got a call from him and he asked me to meet him again. We went out and I figured that he was a very well-behaved and simple caring person. However, I flew out to Singapore the next week and forgot all about him until I received a call from him when I got there and then he would call me every other day while I was there for 15 days. I never realised when my off-hand behaviour changed into affection and we got married when I returned from Singapore.

Today, we are a happily-married couple.

– Madhu Kohli.

33

HOW “GREEN” IS MY FUTURE Was he fit for the old manʼs US-settled daughter?

I

sing every stanza of the Star Spangled Banner with a patriotic fervour that would set your hair on end – and she would naturally expect her future husband to be an authentic American gentleman down to the last detail. So I take it that youʼre a Green Card holder?”

I reassured him on that crucial point. “Whatʼs your politics?” my future wifeʼs father asked. I mulled for a while. I knew that I was treading on a minefield and that every word counted.

“Well, sir,” I said thoughtfully, my forefinger pressed against my temple, “In the zilla parishad and mandal panchayat elections I voted for the Bahujan Samaj Party candidate, but in the urban local bodies and sanitary board elections. I slickly changed sides and went for the Dalit Mazdoor Kisan PartyRashtriya Janata Dal candidate. So broadly speaking you can say that my politics is strictly middle-of-theroad with no pronounced ideological commitments on either side of the political spectrum.”

I thought that a ponderous response – one that would hold the

34

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

had successfully straddled the toughest hurdle in the 10,000metre matrimonial race – girl sees boy – and I had been provisionally accepted subject of course, to future, closer scrutiny of my credentials. You see, what had swung the balance in my favour was that I was in the distinguished company of Mr Win Chadha and his son, Hersh. I mean. I was a “Green Card” holder.

I was now closetted in a cosy tetea-tete with my future father-in-law – a tough and hard-boiled codger as any who had sent his only daughter packing to the United States (or just “States” in popular Indian middle class jingo) the moment she could lisp “CIA” and “Uncle Sam”, and would brook no nonsense from non“Green Card” holders.

“You must understand, my boy,” he said austerely, that my daughter is solidly so sold on everything American and she knows the American history, Constitution and current affairs like the back of her palm. She knows by rote the exact wording on the Statue of Liberty and the Lincolm Memorial and she can

By S. Raghunath

old buster for a while, but a claymore mine exploded in my face.

“I mean American politics, man,” snapped the old man – “Man” was hardly the appropriate way to address a prospective son-in-law and that, too, a “Green Card” holder, but what could I do? “You must understand that this third-degree grilling is going to be strictly limited to American topics.”

I quickly recovered lost ground and cunningly deployed a phrase I had brazenly plagiarised from a recent issue of the Wall Street Journal.

“Well, sir,” I said, ”broadly speaking you might say that Iʼm a Southern Democrat with liberal leanings.” My future father-in-law frowned and shook his head censoriously.

“No, no, that wonʼt do at all,” he growled dangerously.” My daughter might not like your politics and she might well show you the door. She is a rabid Reaganite and stands to the extreme right of the American political spectrum, the lunatic fringe, she strongly favours America maintaining a first-strike nuclear

capability and advocates a hard line towards Russia, Cuba and China and favours cutting back US aid to Third World countries and the UN. She would naturally expect her future husband to become a charter member of the Young Republican Party and the John Birch Society.”

“Thank goodness, it isnʼt the Ku Klux Klan,” I said relieved. The medieval inquisition about my “American-ness” continued relentlessly.

“What do you know about old Glory? my future wifeʼs father asked.

“Old Glory?” I stammered,” whatʼs that?”

THE EXPECTATIONS “The stars and stripes, man,” snapped the old man – that odious epithet “man” again, “You must understand that my daughter would expect her husband to patriotically wave the Old Glory and walk down New Yorkʼs Fifth Avenue in a ticker tape parade to mark the 4th of July American Independence Day and observe Motherʼs Day by baking an apple pie and Thanksgiving with a roast turkey dinner.”

“Yes, sir,” I vowed enthusiastically, “Iʼll do just that and more.” I didnʼt want to muff up my chances by telling the old buster that being a vegetarian, roast turkey dinner was out – Thanksgiving or no Thanks giving.

“Do you support continued covert US aid to the Contras in Nicaragua?” was the next question.

“Of course I do,” I said. Never mind I didnʼt know the Contras from a hole-in-the-head.

“My daughter simply detests the liberals, the democrats and the pinkos and the commies for their namby-pamby attitude towards the Blacks, the hispanics, the cic-nos and the poor and the disadvantaged,” said the old ma.

“Fancy that!” I cried not quite knowing what he was talking about.

“Where do you stand on American foreign policy?” my future wifeʼs father asked.

“I think Iʼm left-of-centre,” I said.

The old man shook his head. “No, no, that wonʼt do at all. My daughter might well give you the heave-ho and the Bronx cheer. She would expect her future husband to unquestion ingly support the Obama Adminis trationʼs reckless gunboat diplomacy in international affairs and taking the world to the brink of nuclear holocaust.”

After almost an hour of intense interrogation, the moment of truth had arrived, so to say. “Now, I want to see your Green Card,” said my future wifeʼs father putting on his horn-rimmed bisfocals and adjusting it at a rakish angle on his beaky nose and getting ready to take a close dekko at the historic document.

“Yes, sir,” I said and fished out of my hip pocket a shabby green card bound in cheap plastic and rexine.

The oldman took one cursory look at it and went red in the face. He appeared to be having an apoplectic

“NOW, I WANT TO SEE YOUR GREEN CARD,” SAID MY FUTURE WIFE’S FATHER PUTTING ON HIS HORN-RIMMED BISFOCALS AND ADJUSTING IT AT A RAKISH ANGLE ON HIS BEAKY NOSE AND GETTING READY TO TAKE A CLOSE DEKKO AT THE HISTORIC DOCUMENT.

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

Effect

If I am unhappy, upset and upended It does not matter to them They just soak me And percolate Into the earth…

If I am enthused, excited and effused They still remain unfazed They wet me And permeate Into the earth…

Although the raindrops themselves May effuse or sadden minds They are numb and dead The effect in us happens In the way we perceive them…

– Neelam Chandra. fit but, for the life of me, I could not figure out what was wrong with him.

“But this is a below-poverty-line ration card issued by the range Food inspector and countersigned by the tahsildar making you eligible to draw 10 kgs of parboiled broken rice, five kgs of suji and maida and one litre of palmolein oil per month,” he spluttered with incohorent rage.

“Of course it is, “I maintained pugnaciously, “itʼs a card and isnʼt it green? Therefore Iʼm a Green Card We holder.”

35

Gi ve a new look and Life to your place...

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Jumbo educational blocks for me.

Swinging together is fun.

Ball pool to channelise your child始s energy.

My new portable play house.

Now, I can also experience roller coster alone.

36

Wanna compete with me in foosball game.

Catarpillar tunnel for physical training.

Mini Trampolines for indoor/outdoor fun.

Castle, bouncer and ball pit for me and my friends.

Jumbo play yard to enhance the look of your park.

Toys and outdoor play items: Toy Park Delhi Pvt. Ltd. (Importer, Wholesaler, Retailer) New Delhi. Mob: +91 9811117654 Visit: www.toypark.co

37

THE EXTRAORDINARY

SERUMS

All that you wanted to know about this latest entrant in the beauty world.

By Romola Shanbhag

couldnʼt hide my admiration when I met my friend Rinku after a gap of two years. Her skin was glowing and she looked young and radiant. “Hey, you must have done something to yourself,” I said to her. “Confess now, was it Botox or some discreet cosmetic surgery?” She laughed, clearly delighted by my praise.

“Neither!” she said. And then seeing my disbelief, she confided, “Let me let you into my secret, I have started using cosmetic serums on my face, and you can see what a difference it has made to my skin!”

Serums? I had heard about these, but had not known just how potent these could be – till I met Rinku, of course. I vowed right then to try out this wonder product myself.

Not many of us know about these new cosmetic ingredients which are touted so aggressively by so many famous beauty houses nowadays. It does well to have some information about beauty serums so that we not only try these out, but choose the ones which are best suited for our special requirements.

First of all, what exactly are serums? Many of us will have known them as some bodily fluid – like blood serums, for instance – but in the cosmetic world, the definition is much broader. A serum is an ingredient which is typically the most potent in a layering skin-care routine. In short, very special beauty creams and lotions usually contain serums.

Beauty serums are generally

I 38

marketed in formulas which are water-based, with a little addition of silicone which helps it glide on the skin effectively. Serums, because of their active components, get direct access deep into skin, under the epidermal area. This is unlike other beauty skin products like the moisturiser which, basically, sits on top of the skin.

Further, serums being 10 times more concentrated than creams, with 10 times more active ingredients, is far far more effective for skincare issues than anything else. And the best part is that you require a very small quantity because of its concentration. So, even if you pay more, it is well worth it.

Why and who needs beauty serums and how does one use these? Valid questions, because most of us are obliged to buy serums off the counter guided by advertisement lore – but this defeats the very purpose of the purchase. It is best to ask an experienced knowledgeable beauty expert for advice for the simple reason that serums must suit the beauty issue of the user.

In short, there are different serums for brown spots, dull skin, wrinkles, sagging skin, cellulite and many other skin problems. The following information should help: Carefully read the label on the beauty product to find out which serum it contains.

Retinol stimulates skin cell turnover. Tetrapeptides, penta -

peptides, and Retinol also help sagging skin, and wrinkles. Argieline is also advised for smoothening wrinkles. If your problem is skin damage due to UV rays, sun burn etc, the ingredient you should look for is vitamin C.

SERUMS THAT HELP Serums with alpha hydroxy, glycoloc acid and lactic acid help the product disappear through the top layers of the skin while benzoyl peroxide and salicylic acid prevent fresh breakouts even while healing present ones by penetrating deep into skin pores.

Do you have brown, dark spots? Then the serum for you should contain hydroquinone which is effective in breaking down melanin and inhibiting its production.

Serums with arbutin, kojic, azelaic acids, vitamin C or licorice are ideal for super-sensitive skins which react to chemicals.

If your skin feels dry and papery, you should plump it out with serums with hyaluronic acid .

A “face serum”, either water- based or oil-based, is perfect for dehydrated skin, redness, blotchiness and fine wrinkles.

Hair serums, made from oils and silicones, add shine and softness to hair, by leaving a microscopic film on the hair cuticles. Some hair serums leave the hair silky and light; heavier ones give an oily touch to the scalp, There are serums and serums. Do some research or consult a skin clinic for initial analysis of your skin and to get information on what exactly will help you most .

How do you use serums?

Always apply on freshly-washed, clean skin. Do not apply another cosmetic product like a sun block or moisturiser for at least 15 minutes to give time for the serum to be absorbed.

Use a very teenie weenie quantity – the size of a 50 p coin should cover your whole face. Be sparing.

It is advisable to use an anti-ageing serum or one which targets wrinkles, sags, acne, etc, at bedtime. This also gives the product a lot of time to act.

Serums usually come in slim plastic tubes with thin nozzles which dispense tiny blobs when squeezed. This ensures economical use. The serum also does not ooze out on its own, thanks to the nozzle.

What exactly should you look for in a serum?

First of all, consider the uses of the ingredients. If these target your needs, buy it.

The serum should be light in texture, not heavy and clogging. It should be able to penetrate your skin quickly, pulling in the actives it contains. This means it should go deeper than the normal moisturiser or cleansing lotion. It should ensure rapid absorption.

It should be non-greasy to touch even if it is oilbased and its intensive formula should have a high We concentration of potent, active substances.

39

Short Story Part-1

Meet You Some Day A would-be writer’s 10-year quest.

By Sneha V. L.

W

Then suddenly, a giant man emerged from hat do you mean, you can’t publish it?” I outside, pushing the door open. I almost thought that yelled at the editor. I knew very well that I he broke it off. was being stupid and mostly losing my “Get this guy OUT of my office NOW!” the editor temper, but how can I not? His yelled as he sat down again and continued typing explanations were not something you’d on his laptop, which was placed on the desk. like to hear as, well… ‘explanations’.

“Wait! I’m not finished yet,” I screamed as I “I said,” said the listener. “This is not quickly grabbed my manuscript right before the something that you can call a story. There is no giant grabbed me by my waist and effortlessly lifted content in it, just some collection of situations, put me like a piece of cotton candy. He walked towards together. I can’t publish your work. Fix it up and the door while I helplessly screamed all the words come back later, then maybe I’ll change my mind,” he said, waving me off, as he finished off his coffee. that came out of my mouth.

“Put me down,” I said, “PUT ME DOWN!” He stood up and pushed the manuscript over the Now, what am I supposed to do? I felt unwanted table, back to me. wherever I went. This is the third editor who’s And from my face, anyone could guess how pushed me – or rather kicked me – out of his office. angry I was, sort of like a volcano about to erupt. I Well, looks like I’m a failure already. stared at the manuscript and then at the nameplate Everyone’s asking me why I want to become a on the desk, which read ‘Vikram Goyle, Editor, published writer. Writing was never an option for a Goyle Publications’, and back to the manuscript career. I’ve asked that to myself a zillion times. I again. Yeah right, some sort of editor he is!

“You know,” I continued my rebellion, “I still don’t have a good job as the manager of one of the most famous groups of hotels – inherited from my father. I get why you don’t like my work, what is wrong with have my own apartment, with all the necessities it exactly? What is so damn bad about it that makes needed by a 27-year-old guy for survival. it look silly to even get published?” and I waited, The story I wrote was my story, a real-life incident. hands folded, my foot tapping insistently on the This was my first attempt to even write a novel. There wooden floor of the luxurious office room. was no other option left to me. I knew that this was Mr Goyle gave out a long exaggerated sigh. the only way I could get back the person I lost “Mr Jacob, I understand how desperate you are in 10 years ago. All I wanted was that person to read having your story published, but your story doesn’t this. At least then I’ll get rid of my guilt, have any sort of proper beginning and which has been eating me away, for these most of all, an ending. I understand the Now, what am 10 years. effort you’ve put into this book, but I wandered across the sidewalk, looking without proper presentation and most of I supposed to for a perfect coffee shop, my unlucky all a proper title, I am helpless. I don’t do? I felt manuscript in hand. Right now only want my publications to break down unwanted caffeine could save me. because of this. Now if you’ll kindly wherever I It’s not that difficult to find a coffee shop leave.” in Kolkata city. It’s almost everywhere. And “Of course I can’t leave,” not after went. This is every single one will be filled after four in coming this far. Of course he doesn’t the third editor the evening. It’s as if everyone is looking understand how desperate I am. He who’s pushed for some relief after their tension-filled day doesn’t know how much I want this story me – or rather of work. published. It’s important!

At last, I found a coffee shop, though “Okay, that’s it,” now he was yelling, kicked me – out with limited seats.

“SECURITY!” of his office.

As I hurried in, I crashed into another Okay. That was scary.

40

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

41

person who was also getting inside in a hurry from the other side. The manuscript fell from my hand and the papers which scattered in the doorway were picked up by the wind.

I stared blankly at the papers.

“I am so sorry,” the girl apologised, as she bent down to grab the papers.

“What do you mean, sorry?” I said and all faces around the shop turned towards the innocent girl, as if she had tried to kill me.

S

he suddenly looked awkward and looked up at me questioningly, that’s when I realised that I had said that a little loud.

“Oh,” I said with sudden realisation, “I am really sorry.” I bent down to grab my papers. “It has been a long bad day for me.”

The girl smiled as she brushed back her long black hair, which was let loose and which constantly fell over her dark eyes. She looked like a perfect teenager – wearing faded blue jeans and a black top.

When she came across my story’s front cover, she was stunned.

“My Story, Kevin Jacob,” she read softly. “You are a writer!” she exclaimed excitedly, a bit loud.

Now it was my turn to feel awkward, as all eyes

42

rested on me. We were really creating a scene. But it’s not as if the people have any time to care about us, over their busy selfish lives.

“Oh,” she said suddenly, realising her mistake, “I’m sorry, again. I shouldn’t have read it anyway,” she gave me back the neatly-stacked paper.

“It’s just that, I’m a writer too,“ she said proudly.

That made me jump.

“Oh, really?” I said, hiding my fear.

“What a coincidence. Well, I better get going,” I said quickly as I rushed inside.

But, to my nightmare, the girl followed.

“Yeah, I know, it’s a coincidence. I was dying to meet an author, someone with experience.

Do you mind if I have coffee with you?”

Of course, it’s a YES, but I couldn’t say that, could I? “Of course not! Come on.”

“Cool!” she was excited, as if she was going to interview Dan Brown “You have no idea how much this means to me. I’m an amateur author, trying for a break into the publishing world. Thanks a LOT for having me.”

“It’s no problem.” Big Problem!

We settled down at a corner table nearest to the window, far away from the flurry of the shop and ordered two coffees. As we waited, my nightmare became worst – she struck up a conversation.

As I hurried in, I crashed into another person who was also getting inside in a hurry from the other side.

The manuscript fell from my hand and the papers.

“So how many of your works have been published?”

BANG! Strike one.

“F…Fi…“ “Five?”

“Fifteen!” Liar! Of course I was. Fifteen? Are you kidding? I’ve not even read that many books.

“Wow!” she exclaimed. “I’ve only got two. So what do you write about?”

BANG! Strike two.

“Oh!” speechless. “I write about all sorts of things. Not much of a particular topic.”

“Well,” she said, “I mostly write about everyday stuff. You know, poverty and all.”

I pretended to be impressed.

“I’ve never seen your name before, I’ve never read any of your books either. You use any other names?”

BANG! Strike three and you’re out!

“Yeah, I sort of use different names in different books.”

“Wow! Well, don’t you want know my name, Kevin? You don’t mind me calling you that, do you?”

“No, of course not.”

“Well, my name is Rose Mary. I’m a first-year student at the Calcutta University, literature.”

Rose! It sent a ran down my spine.

Right then waiter brought us the coffee.

I

slowly sipped my coffee, still staring across the table. When was the last time I drank coffee with a girl? Let me think. Yes. Never!

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked at last, definitely looking uneasy.

“You are not an orphan, are you?”

Stupid question!

She almost choked on her coffee.

“Of course not!” she exclaimed, no doubt at the silliness of my question. “I’ve lived with my parents from the time I can remember. Why did you ask?”

I shrugged. “One of my characters’ name in the story is Rose Mary.”

“Wow! Lucky me!” she said, cheerfully.

“Well… you see… it’s not just a story. It’s my story. My life.”

“You mean… like an autobiography?” she asked, seemingly baffled.

“Not precisely. But a certain part of my life.”

“Do you mind talking about the story?” she asked politely.

“Well… I don’t know…”

Maybe I’ll feel better if I blurted it out to someone.

Maybe. Just maybe.

And so, it began…

I was born into a wealthy family. My parents

43

were proud owners of a famous group of hotels, which have just reached an international stardom.

They were also kind and generous – giving away money to charity homes and giving free tickets to kids from orphanages to their favourite movies, once a month. However, they never ran into a loss. My father was always successful. A great man.

One morning, he came to know that his best friend and partner died in a car accident, along with his wife. Their two-year-old daughter was left at home with their maid. She was now orphaned. As theirs was a love marriage, which had not at all been encouraged, they had no further contact with their relatives. My father searched high and low to find at least a trace of their family. Finally, without another choice, my father adopted her into our family and then slowly started giving up his search.

Rose was two years old when she came into our house, and I was 12. My family adored her. It was a totally new situation for me, having a little sister at home.

I happily accepted my responsibilities as a big brother but, as I grew older and got into the tough times of my teenage life, I started hating it. I started hating to babysit her at home, while my friends got to hang out with each other. I hated hearing her constant clamour for attention.

Within two years, I felt totally invisible in my own house – because she finally got what she wantedattention. It didn’t take long for my parents to always remember her birthday, while I had to remind them about mine. They gave her everything she wanted.

She didn’t have to ask them twice.

S

uddenly I started to become rebellious. By the time I was 15, situations worsened. She constantly followed me wherever I went to grab my attention. I started getting annoyed whenever she was around and from then I was home only rarely. I became angry at every single thing my parents said.

And one day when I my mother told me to stay home to look after her while they had to go out, I exploded.

“Why am I supposed to take care of her all the time?” I shouted. “I am 16. Why should I stay at home?”

“Because she’s your sister!” my mother yelled back, annoyed.

“SHE IS NOT MY SISTER! And SHE IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER either.”

That’s when my mom did it. She slapped me for the first time in my life.

It didn’t take me long to stomp out of my house. I knew I was being replaced.

I decided to not ever go back there again. Ever.

– (Continued)

44

Lost file found After my husband’s retirement, we live alone as our children are employed abroad. Some years back, while I was travelling in a public transport I had a nice experience. One day, I had to go alone for an urgent need and got into a crowded bus. One of our neighbours got up and gave her seat to me. At the next stop a young girl boarded the bus and stood next to me. She had her handbag and a file with her. She entrusted her file to me to take out money for the bus fare. I reached my destination soon and looked back to hand over the file. She had already alighted and I was perplexed.

But he refused and advised me to hand them over to the nearest police station, which was a few kms away. I was in a predicament as, if I did not reach home on time, my husband would be worried. In those days mobile phones were a rare commodity and I did have one. I wanted consult my husband about the next step to be taken about the file. On reaching home, I told to my husband who advised me to sleep on the matter for the time being and we would do something next day.

We had our dinner and as usual our neighbour’s son Vivek, who runs a consultancy service, came to chat with us. During our conversation the mentioned about a girl who came to his firm for a placement but had lost her bio-data while travelling in a bus. I put two and two together and told him to contact the girl very next day and to give our phone. Eventually, all took off well and Vivek got her a placement in one of the software companies in the Techno park. She still keeps in touch with us and visits us with her son and husband. Last year when I was sick she helped us a lot.

– Radhapillai, Thiruvanathapuram.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS ISSUE? Entertaining, WE is anxious to give you good, interesting and useful material in every issue.

It will help us a lot if you let us know which features, stories and articles you like from this issue and which you didn't.

Suggestions for new features and topics are most welcome.

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

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INDIAN ARMY A career of choice...A career of pride

Indian Army invites applications for :

(iv)

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Last date of receipt of application at Command Hqrs 28 Oct 2013.

See employment News dated 27 Jul 13.

For more information visit: www.joinindianarmy.nic.in Tel: 011-26175473, 26173215,26100487, 26196220

45

Fabulous feet

Here始s a look at fashionable footwear.

All blue: Buckle heels to team with one piece for long legs.

Bandage heels: A bandage sandals in 4inch heels.

Peeping toes: A gorgeous peep toe in woven jute and classy finish.

46

Delicate delight: A sauve mid heel to team with western wear.

Two tone - two strap: Two strap wedges to enhance every step you take.

Voila beauty: Gorgeous cris crossed peep toes belly with pencil heel.

Flattering flats: Regularly seen on fashion floor are these bright colours bellies.

Jute heels: A very essential pair of heels in a women始s wardrobe.

PU chic: Get hot as hell in these 4 inch amazingly gorgeous pair of bellies.

Officially formal: Team these flats with formal trousers for an ultra-glam look.

Sandals: Charles & Keith Ph: 011-43686308

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PALATE SOOTHERS Excellent thirst-quencher options.

MANGOP INGREDIENTS: 1/ cup condensed milk 2 3/4 cup mango juice (thick) 1/ cup mashed cottage cheese 4 1 tbsp chopped almonds and pistachio 1/ lemon juice 2 METHOD Keep all the ingredients in fridge and chill them. Chill the serving glass also. Pour milk and lemon juice. Mix well. Pour mango juice and top with cheese.

Sprinkle dry fruits. Keep straw and serve.

VEG SOOTHER INGREDIENTS: 500 gm red and fresh tomatoes 1 small bunch of fresh coriander leaves 250 gm white gourd (lauki) 1 tsp butter a pinch cumin seeds (jeera) 1 tsp salt 11/2 litres water black pepper according to taste crushed ice as per wish 1/ cup fresh cream 2

Mangop

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By Sudha Mathur

METHOD Peel and make small pieces of gourd. Chop tomatoes and coriander leaves. Heat butter in a cooker. Add cumin and chopped veges. Add water, salt and close lid. Cook for 30 minutes on slow heat. Strain the liquid. Mix pepper.

Cool and chill well. Pour in glasses. Add crushed ice. Pour 1 tbsp cream and serve on sunny day.

MOGLER INGREDIENTS: 2 raw mangoes 2 onions 11/2 cup jaggery 1 tsp aniseed (saunf) 1 tsp oil or ghee 1/ tsp cumin seeds 2

Veg soother

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black salt 1/ tsp roasted cumin seed 2 (powdered) 1 tbsp lemon juice dry mint salt to taste

black salt roasted cumin seeds powder dry mint powder sugar (powder) soda salt to taste

METHOD Peel onions and raw mangoes, grate the mangoes and chop the onions. Heat oil in a pan, add aniseed, cuminseeds, mangoes and onions. Stir well, add 11/2 litre water and jaggery. Sprinkle salt, cover and lit it cook for 10 minutes on a slow flame. Add lemon juice, black salt, powdered cumin and mix well. Cool. Churn in mixi jar. If required add water till half the glasses with crushed ice and pour the liquid. Mix well and serve.

METHOD Peel the boiled mangoes and kiwi fruits. Mash the mangoes and kiwi and churn with mango water (boiled).

Add sugar both the salt, cumin and dry mint as per taste. Mix or churn well. Serve with soda and crushed ice.

KIWIANGO INGREDIENTS: 2 raw mangoes (boiled) 2 kiwi fruits 3-4 green chillies

roasted cumin seed powder crushed ice 1/ cup grated cottage cheese 4 salt to taste METHOD Peel cucumber, deseed and grate, cut and chop capsicum finely, chop mint. Put all the things in a blender and blend with 1/4 cup water till smooth.

Add curd, cheese, crushed ice, both the salts, cumin, ginger juice and blend, pour into glasses, serve.

SUMMER COOLER INGREDIENTS: 1 cucumber 1 capsicum 3-4 fresh mint leaves 1/ tsp ginger juice 4 1 cup fresh curd black salt

Kiwiango

Mogler

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Summer cooler

LOQUAT LIME ORANGE CREAM COFFEE SHAKE INGREDIENTS: 1/ cup condensed milk 4 1/ cup orange crush.

2 1 cup black coffee 1/ cup cream 4 coffee and chocolate powder crushed ice METHOD Put crushed ice, black coffee and orange crush in a mixer, run the mixer. Set condensed milk in glass. Pour the mixture and top with cream. Sprinkle coffee and chocolate powder on top. Mix and have a large sip enjoy the drink.

CREAMY RABRI SIP

INGREDIENTS: 2 cup milk 1 tbsp oats 1 tbsp sugar 1 lemon juice 8-10 loquats crushed ice 2 tbsp milk powder 1/ cup curd 2

INGREDIENTS: 1/ cup milk rabri 2 (cook thick milk) 1 cup mango pulp vanilla ice cream 1/ lemon juice 2 sundae syrup soda

METHOD Heat milk and add oats.

Simmer on slow flame. Add sugar.

Cool. Peel and dseed loquats.

Put loquats and curds, oats and milk powder in a blender.

Blend well. Add crushed ice and lemon juice, blend again.

Pour in glasses and serve.

METHOD Chill all the things. Mix lemon juice with rabri.

Pour 1 / 4 - 1 / 4 cup rabri in two glasses. 1/2-1/2 cup mango pulp.

1-1 scoop ice-cream.

Pour sundae syrup on glass rings. Pour soda and mix them sip.

Orange cream coffee

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Loquat lime shake

Creamy rabri sip

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GUAVA CREAMY

MIX MASALA INGREDIENTS: 1/ cup beet root chopped 2 1/ cup papaya pieces 2 1/ cup tomato chopped 2 1/ cup peaches pieces 2 black salt salt black pepper 1/ lemon juice 2 dry mint

INGREDIENTS: 4 guavas 1/ cup cream 2 water as required black salt salt dry mint soda water sugar dry powder of cumin lemon juice METHOD Slice the guavas and dseed them.

Put in a pan, cover with water, boil and semmer till water is coloured. Cook till 1/2. Cool and churn with lemon sugar. Add both the salts, mint and cumin powder and mix with soda water. Put ice cubes in glasses and pour cream, then pour the liquid. Mix well and serve.

METHOD Mix beetroot and tomatoes and add 2 cups water, boil till 1 cup.

Cool. Put all the ingredients in a blender or churner ad churn well.

Add ice and serve.

METHOD Chill all the things. Put musk melon pulp, milk, pistachio paste and lemon juice in a blender.

Blend till smooth. Add ice cream and churn again only for few second.

Fill the glasses and decorate with chopped pistachioes and seeds.

PISTACHIO FRUIT SHAKE INGREDIENTS: 1 cup muskmelon pulp 1 cup milk 1 tbsp pistachio paste

Guava creamy

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1 cup vanilla ice-cream 1/ lemon juice 4 5-6 pistachioes seed of melon

Mix masala

Pistachio fruit shake

RED LOVER

BROWNIE SHAKE INGREDIENTS: 1 brownie 1 cup milk 1/ cup cream 2 2 pieces chocolate walnuts ice cream METHOD Cut the brownie into pieces.

Put the pieces, milk, chocolate in blender. Blend them. Chill the glass. Pour 1/4 cream in glass.

Put 2-3 pieces on cream. Fill the glass with mix true. Top with icecream. Sprinkle walnuts. Serve.

PINE COCONUTY FUSION

INGREDIENTS: 2 cups watermelon pieces 1 cup plum pulp 1/ cup tomato pulp 2 fresh coriander a pinch of asafoetida powder 3/ tsp black salt 4 mint lemon soda METHOD Chill the jug or glasses, dust the ring with black salt. Put all the things in a blender and blend well.

Add dry ingredients. Mix well. Fill the glasses, add soda.

INGREDIENTS: 11/2 cup coconut water 2 cup pineapple juice 2 rings of pineapple 1/ cup cream 2 soda water black salt black pepper according to taste METHOD Mix coconut water, juice, cream and rings or sticks of pineapple till the glasses add soda and sprinkle masala.

Brownie shake

Red lover

Pine coconuty fusion

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CINNAMON TEA PUNCH INGREDIENTS: 2 cups tea (black) ready 1 cup pineapple juice 1/ lemon juice 2 2 sticks cinnamon 1/ cup mango 4 1/ cup pineapple 4 1/ cup fresh coriander 4 1 tsp tamarind pulp 1/ cup peaches pulp 2 3-4 cloves soda 1/ cup capsicum chopped 4 mint grapes METHOD Put all the liquid in a jar or jug.

Drop cloves and cinnamon. Keep in fridge. Add chopped fruits. Add ice cubes. Cool and serve with We soda.

A

TEEN TEEN ACHE CHE I am a 17-year-old girl with an odd problem. Only my left breast has developed; on the right side, I am quite flat chested. My friends assure me that difference in sizes of breasts, and also ears and eyes, for that matter, are normal, but I think something is not right. What should I do?

Your friends are correct as not everyone has very equal breasts, but if, as you say, your right breast is completely flat, there could be a problem. Do consult a lady doctor, who may refer you to an endocrinologist, for hormone tests. It is advisable that you start treatment as soon as possible.

Modern medicines are wonderful and very effective in curing most conditions, so donʼt worry on this score. In the meanwhile, you can stuff your bra with a handkerchief on the right side to secure a balanced bust line.

Please tell me the right age to use make-up. I am a 13-year-old girl who loves to use mascara, foundation and lipstick to look beautiful, but my mother has put her foot down and refused to let me do this. Why? There are so many girls in my class who look very classy with made-up faces, and the boys too appreciate their looks a lot. I am not very goodlooking. I want to look good so that I too will have boyfriends.

In this case, your motherʼs stand is spot on. You are, indeed, too young to cake your face with chemicals-filled commercial cos metics. This is the time to make the best of your natural blooming beauty. The girls in your class who use make-up are misled, poor things, into thinking that they can attract boys. A wise boy will be frightened away by them.

Most schools ban the use of makeup. It is surprising that yours does not.

Using make-up at this very young age is counter-productive.

Use a kajal stick to lightly outline your eyes, and perhaps a light, natural Cinnamon tea punch

56

lip gloss. If your skin is dry, a good moisturiser will make it supple and glowing. Do not overload eyes with mascara, and definitely, foundation and lipstick are not advised for you.

Use weekly beauty mask of honey mixed with milk cream, sandalwood mixed with rose water, or turmeric and yoghurt.

I have very strict parents who have rules regarding everything from watching TV, going out with friends to working on the Internet and even talking on the phone. I am a 15-year-old girl who is getting fed up by this lack of freedom which my other friends enjoy. I do realise my parents love me dearly and are only concerned with my welfare, but I want to be treated like a grown-up, not a retarded kid!

Well, how can you be treated like a grown-up when you are still young? It is so easy to fall into bad company and bad habits at this very vulnerable and gullible age. Parental monitoring helps to nudge children into the right path, to avoid dangerous situations. A small indiscretion could mean a lifetime of regret, especially in the present-day world of several risky temptations.It is laudable that you appreciate your parentsʼ love and concern. If you feel their “rules” are too strict and restricting, have a talk with them.

Show them in concrete ways that you can be trusted to do what is correct. They will then give you more freedom. Children whose parents couldnʼt care less about them will envy your situation where you have such supportive, concerned elders.

Youʼll miss this when you are adult and on your own.

Short Story

Fancy-dress Party Putting on high-class duds for a high-society party. By Subroto Mukherjee

I

don't know how you look at things but to me a 'high society' party looks nothing but a fashion parade, a fancy-dress show disguised as a classy social gathering. So, when we were invited to an upscale bash recently, my wife and I were not taking any chances on the evening of the designer-ensemble event. We decided we were going to dress to kill!

A couple of hot Bollywood starlets were expected to grace this party. And you know the kind of wardrobe they go in for. It's a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen! Shrewdly designed to steal the spotlight!

Ha, that's what we were up against! No wonder I was taking my time selecting something dapper to impress one and all.

For one, I couldn't decide between a zebrastriped shirt and a leopard-spotted one. You know, I am convinced any animal print brings out the animal magnetism in me. Well, that evening it also attracted my wife like a magnet who rejected the shirts outright as unsuitable for the dignified occasion.

So I picked something else. "Are you going to wear that?" my wife howled aghast, seeing me holding a smartly-tailored safari suit.

"Who wears safari suits these days? It's so out of vogue!" my wife informed me. "You want to wear a safari suit and look a pathetic dame-hunter hunting for chicks at this classy party?"

Hey, come on, I am no dame hunter. Or game hunter, for that matter. I don't even hunt for games of cricket and football to watch on TV. "Why don't you wear that exquisitelyembroidered maharaja sherwani of yours with those trousers that shimmer?" she suggested.

Oh, my goodness! Those were gifts from my in-laws! Such precious treasures, I never touched them! My in-laws have such royal taste, I tell you! If I dressed up in such flashy, flamboyant stuff, someone at the party was sure to inquire where I did my royal shopping – up at the Royal Boutique or the Royal Circus?

My wife had returned

busily to her primping and preening at the dressingtable mirror. She was adorning herself with chunky jewellery.

I saw that she now had what looked like a 'cycle tyre' around her neck as a conspicuous neck piece!

And dangling from her ear-lobes were what looked like 'mosquito coil' earrings! Very wise, I thought.

That was sure to keep those nasty dengue mosquitoes at bay.

I asked my wife if I might borrow from her jewellery box a stud for my own ear. What next? she demanded. Would I be borrowing all her gold chains so I could embellish myself like Bappi Lahiri?

I don't know how you see things but I see a 'high society' party as a brag-fest where everyone is out to show off one's status symbols and embroider one's own success story with fiction. So I thought it would be best to wear Bermuda shorts to this grand party, claiming we had just returned from a magnificent cruise to exotic Bermuda.

But, of course, one withering glare from my wife was all it took for this sartorial idea to vanish into the Bermuda Triangle.

I

checked on our kids and found them all dressed up and ready to go. My teenaged daughter wore a pencil skirt. I was relieved. I was afraid she might doll up like Lady Gaga.

Our young son wore skinny jeans and refused to change into anything more presentable. If pressured, he threatened to accompany us to the party in a loincloth. Which, of course, wouldn't do. After all, this party was all about Mumbai meeting Paris.Not the loincloth meets the lungi.

Finally we left for the party. My plump wife in a blue, floral maxi and resembling a priceless Ming dynasty vase. And me in a tuxedo, hopefully looking like Bond. Actually, I just ended up looking like one of the waiters at the party who all wore a Bond tux.

No wonder other guests kept frowning upon me as the one 'waiter' more interested in gobbling than serving the food. Oh, the food not only looked great but tasted awesome too! In fact, I thought the salad dressing enjoyed the best dressing at this 'costume show'!

We

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A Class Apart

Dressy essay of black and white mix and match.

Splendid saga: Satin black and white printed blazer to match with sheer net dress. The net stockings add oomph to the outfit.

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Lovely spellbound: A white polyster shirt with floral print of the front pavel. Match it with embellished black skirt and matching stockings.

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Mini love: Black and white printed little black dress with front slit.

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Style factor: An all-black combo of pants and blazer. The self-work in thread add uniqueness to the outfit.

Designed by: Kavita Bhartia Ph: 0120-24238182/83

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getting rid of unwanted hair and these range from shaving, waxing, depilatory, electrolysis to laser. Of all these methods, laser is the only effective and safe method of depilation and is excellent for armpits. There may be redness and swelling after laser therapy but it disappears soon. Some fine hair may return soon.

I am 25 years old and very fond of exercising. I devote a great time at the gym but it makes me very tired.

Please help.

Exercise is good but excess is also not desirable. Working out 24/7 could be the worst thing. You have to listen to your body. Your body clock tells you when to take rest. If your muscles start aching, rest till you recover. You can take light exercises if too much, strenuous ones tire you.

Combine your exercise regimen with adequate periods of rest.

I work in a call centre where I have to sit for hours before a computer.

Result is that I have developed dark circles under my eyes. What to do?

Apparently a number of factors ranging from lack of sleep and long hours of work are taking their toll.

What you require is adequate periods of sleep and time to relax in between your work schedules. Besides this drink lot of fluid and take care of your bodyʼs nutrition (good protein diet, fresh fruits and green vegetables).

I am a young model and want to have hair-free underarms. What is the ideal solution?

There are a number of ways of 62

I am 40 years old. My problem is that the skin of my thighs has become thick and giving a different feel. What is it? Please help.

What you have got is called ʻcelluliteʼ which occurs more in women as compared to men. Various factors which predispose to its formation include obesity, stress, genetic factors and leading an unhealthy life style. A number of procedures are available ranging from mesotherapy, ultrasound to use of certain creams (retinoids) etc.

I am 25 years old. My problem is that my nails are very brittle which is causing me a lot of worry. Please help.

Brittleness of nails can be due to different causes. Of these, deficiency of histidine and proteins is responsible. You should improve your diet and take adequate quantities of first class proteins (milk, cheese, yoghurt, chicken, fish, soya products). Once you take these proteins your nails will become strong. In addition you can soak your nails in olive oil for 5-10 minutes at night.

I am 45 years old. My problem is that I suffer from severe joint pains, especially in my knees. I have tried many drugs but to no avail. Please help.

Apparently you are suffering from osteoarthritis which is a common malady in middle-aged and elderly women. Besides medication you should take regular exercise. Take foods rich in antioxidants and a nutritional supplement such as glucosamine and chondritin. You Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

must keep yourself active. Physio therapy and heat therapy will further benefit you. If all the measures fail then I am afraid you may have to think of knee replacement surgery.

I am 30 years old. My problem is that I have become lethargic and there is almost complete loss of hair of my eyebrows. I do not know what to do.

Please help.

Apparently you are suffering from a condition called ʻmyxoedemaʼ, a disease of the thyroid gland which controls the bodyʼs metabolism to a large extent. The symptoms you describe are classically seen in such a disease. You should consult your doctor who will investigate you for thyroid functions (T3, T4 and TSH) and give you the required treatment.

I was overweight but after putting myself on diet and exercise I have lost more than 10 kgs. But my problem is that now I have developed stretch marks on my abdomen. What to do?

You are right in saying about stretch marks which result when elastic fibres of the skin snap permanently. This is a common sideeffect of rapid loss of weight. But unfortunately these marks are almost permanent and do not go away. You can lighten them up by using a cream which your doctor can prescribe.

I am young girl of 20 years. My problem is that my skin looks very dull and lustreless. Please help.

It must be understood that the glow of a womanʼs skin depends not only on external factors but inner health also. An anaemic woman will have an earthy colour skin. Firstly you must be sure that you are not suffering from any ailment.

After this, improve your diet which should be not only be nutritious but be rich in vitamins like Vitamins B and C. In addition drink a lot of fluids especially clean water. It will being sparkle to your skin.

— Dr S. N. Khosla, MD.

How similar are your relationships to

Romeo and Juliet’s Find out if you are seriously in love.

Selected entries will be published in the forthcoming issue of Woman’s era. Look out for the 16 September 2013 issue Attach a photograph of your friend for a better chance of featuring in Woman’s era Last date for sending entries: 31 August 2013

Q

How long does it usually take you to fall in love?

Q

Whatʼs an important aspect of any relationship?

1

✂

2

a. Love is non-existent. b. I have to get to know the person and take my time. c. The moment I lay eyes on my significant other I know weʼre destined to be together.

a. Mental health. b. Personality. c. Physical beauty.

Q 3 Q

4 Q 5

Whatʼs the difference between love and infatuation? a. People infatuated and in love are both naive. b. Thereʼs no real major difference, either way youʼre supposed to be together.

Do you believe looks in a relationship matter? a. No, personality is more important. b. Relationship all end in unhappiness and all are bad so it doesnʼt matter. c. Yes, if the other person is ugly or fat then I couldnʼt be happy.

Romeo and Juliet die in the end because they canʼt live life without each other, have you ever wanted to die when a relationship didnʼt work out? a. No. b. I think relationships are stupid. c. Yes.

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Winners of Jewellery Quiz Contest

Answer the questions & win a grand prize

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Scoring Terms and Conditions: Donʼt you hate those artificial quizzes that only have one obvious right answer?

Jewellery and its lineage is fluid. So answer according to what you feel is best.

Name

Age

Address Phone: Occupation

PIN E-mail

Donʼt forget to attach a photograph 1. Mark the answers and send us the cutting of this quiz along with this coupon.

The last date is 31 August 2013. So hurry up and post it now. 2. The decision of the editor will be final. 3. Depict your true self only. 4. Send a photograph of your own. It may be printed in Womanʼs Era, along with the results. Send to: Womanʼs Era, Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala, New Delhi-110 055.

TM

MANIK CHAND Gold Diamond Platinum ●

J

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back into your bed room, you may not want him to!

But seriously, your husband wanting to have a separate bedroom does not mean that he does not love you or that your marriage is in trouble. And it can be nice having your privacy.

After the marriage of our second daughter my husband and I were left alone in our house. My husband then announced that he had always wanted a bedroom of his own and that now that we had more space, we did not need to share a bedroom. He said we could each have our own bedroom and privacy. We could each watch whatever programmes we wanted to on different TVs, switch off the light when we wanted, etc.

His words hurt me very much, since I had had no idea that he had been unhappy sharing a room with me. He has now moved out into one of the extra bedrooms. What should I do?

Make your hurt clear to him, but then go on and enjoy your freedom!

Who knows? Once you get used to having a room all to yourself, even if your husband ever wants to move

I am 45 years old and the youngest of three siblings. I have an elder brother and an elder sister. My elder sister has mental problems and needs to be looked after. She can never be employed, get married or live by herself, though she has no tendency to be violent and does not give any trouble. Both my elder brother and I are married.

My father died a few years ago and my mother too passed away a few weeks ago. Since then, my sister has been with my brother. This was what had always been planned by my parents. My father had also made it clear in his will that he was leaving him all his money and my parentsʼ house in exchange for his taking on this responsibility.

But now my brother says that his wife is not ready to look after my sister as it curtails her freedom and he wants me to take responsibility for our sister. I have no children and do not work and so I could do it, but my brother is not talking about the money and house that my parents

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

left him in return for his taking responsibility for our sister. I think that I should get that money and property. Am I right?

If your fatherʼs will made it clear that your brother was inheriting your fatherʼs money and property on the condition that he should look after his sister, he should certainly give you both in exchange for your taking over her care. Speak to him about this and hopefully he will realise the justice in this. If he doesnʼt you might have to take the matter to court.

If however you fatherʼs will doesnʼt make this reciprocal agreement clear, you may not be legally entitled to the money. So consult a lawyer before you speak to your brother because the exact wording of the will is important in this connection.

I have a wild husband who has got into trouble with the law on two occasions and now I see that my son (my only child) is following in his footsteps. At the age of 16, he is a member of a gang, frequently gets into fights and has given up his studies for all practical purposes.

A few days ago a 15-year-old girl in our locality was gang-raped and left to die by the side of the road in the night. But she has survived and will be able to give the police details

65

of her attackers soon. Ever since the rape, my son has been nervous and quiet and I am afraid because I fear that he was involved in the rape and assault. I have tried talking to him but he has remained stubbornly silent.

What should I do to help him?

Since your son will not talk to you, the best thing for you to do is to leave matters alone. Let the rape victim identify her attackers and if, as you fear, your son is one of them, let the law take its course. But you should engage a good lawyer for him and be supportive because he is after all a child.

Hopefully this incident will shake your son and make him realise that he is treading on a dangerous path.

You should then talk to him, get him help and guidance and try to bring him back to the right path. Seeing his son in trouble may also jolt your husband into introspection and encourage him to reform. Life will not be easy for some years, but at least you will pull your son back from the edge of the precipice.

My husband is a well-off businessman. We have been married for 15 years and we have a son born through IVF treatment four years ago.

Since we got our son late and with difficulty, we both dote on him.

But at the age of four my son is thoroughly spoilt. He throws tantrums to get what he wants, but what worries us most is that he has very

I am a 23-year-old woman and had an arranged marriage to a man four years older than I am six months ago. My husband is very nice and we get along fine. But there is one thing about him that worries me. This is that though he is very thin, he has an enormous appetite. He eats as much a three or four people at each meal and about a dozen samosas or their equivalent at tea-time.

My husband is not putting on weight, but he too is embarrassed by how much he eats.

So when we are invited out for a meal, he eats a full meal before leaving so that he wonʼt make an exhibition of himself.

He says that he always had a big appetite, but that it is now increasing. But he doesnʼt put on any weight at all! I am worried. Is something wrong with him?

You should consult a doctor but it is possible that his metabolism is such that he is able to eat huge amounts without putting on weight.

But even if the doctor says that there is nothing to worry about, you should monitor his health closely. poor eating habits. He likes only sweets and will not touch vegetables and fruits.

“Fight Cholesterol” Dr B N Sinha, Dean, faculty of Ayurveda. University of Delhi, highlights health issues through his book “Fight cholesterol”. As the name of the book suggests, it covers the reasons for rise in cholesterol level and the remedy for the same.

The book highlights the reasons for cholesterol, health issues associated with it and the remedies to cure it. He explains that in Ayurveda there is no direct reference to the term ‘cholesterol’, but it deals with health issues caused due to cholesterol. This well-illustrated book with interesting pictures comprises thirteen chapters that provide useful information to any medical professional and a common individual at the same time.

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

My husband says that he will learn to eat good things as he grows up, but I donʼt see why he thinks that the child will change. He is already plump and I see him getting plumper and plumper and developing health problems.

I think that we should be strict and change his eating habits. My husband thinks that we should leave him alone to do as he likes. We are quarrelling about this. Which of us is right?

You are. You son could realise that he is eating wrong – from what he learns at school, because he is teased by friends, etc – and change to healthy eating habits. But that might not happen and even if it did, he may have wasted a lot of time and already developed health problems by the time realisation dawns.

It would be far better if you disciplined him now and instilled good eating habits in him. This wonʼt be easy and it will be more difficult for you than it will be for your son.

The way to do it is to just put healthy food in front of your child and tell him that that is all he will get till his next mealtime. You will have to be deaf to his pleas, his weeping, his tantrums, etc. If he doesnʼt eat, you will have to be immune to his pleas of hunger.

According to child specialists, children the age of your son can be trained to eat healthy in a week. But the week will take a lot out of you – more than it will take out of the child, in fact. You husband should cooperate with you in this effort.

Once the child has got used to a healthy diet, he can be given treats – say, chocolates on the weekends.

Have you a personal problem of any nature, which you hesitate to discuss with your family or friends? Share it with us. WE will try to help you.

Address your letter to: WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.

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THE LOVABLE LEMONS Best for summer revitalisation.

By Dr Aparna Pradhan ave you ever thought of squeezing lemon on your face when the outside temperatures are soaring?

Just try once, you will be tempted to do it regularly and your skin will thank you for the glow and refreshing look. Lemon juice with a dash of honey will give your skin a radiant and youthful look. The goodness of lemon does not stop here; a chilled glass of fresh lemonade is great for quenching thirst and hydrating the body on a hot sunny day. Apply it or drink it, lemons are a great choice for the skin as well as the body.

H

Nutritional profile and Health Benefits A glass of lukewarm lemon juice and honey in the morning can do wonders to your body.

Besides flushing out toxins and cleansing the system, it also gives you a

whopping supply of antioxidants and other nutrients. Rich in antioxidants, lemons help in protecting our bodies against free radicals.

Lemons are rich reservoirs of healthy nutrients. The health benefits of lemons can be attributed to the rich nutritional profile of this golden yellow fruit. The high vitamin C content and antioxidants arsenal make it a prized fruit as far as health benefits are concerned. Vitamin C content boosts the immunity levels, fights free radicals and helps in keeping cold at bay. Limonin and limonene – the two phytochemicals (plant chemicals) found in lemon – have anti-cancerous properties.

Besides this, lemons offer potassium and trace amounts of selenium, zinc, copper and manganese.

Latest studies reveal that lemon juice can bring down high blood pressure.

Regular use of lemon can be great for oral health, skin, hair, immunity, weight-loss and above all, cardiovascular health.

LEMONS FOR BEAUTY Summer heat can have a very damaging effect on your body, especially the skin. Lemons are a perfect choice for enhancing your inner as well outer beauty from head to toe in this scorching heat. Here are some beauty tips using lemons that will take care of your skin and give you a fresh, charming and beautiful look.

Exfoliate the dead skin: Dip a cut lemon into sugar and rub over the

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Heartless neighbours My cousin brothers were kids when they lost their mother the elder one was five years old and the younger was three years old.

My parents took the responsibility to look after them, we were four siblings, and started thinking to be six siblings from then onward.

One day, my youngest cousin, who was five years old during this incident, was playing with a neighbourhood boy. Like any normal children they started fighting. My mother went and stopped their fight and brought him home, the other boy ran home. After some time, a group of 20-25 people from other boyʼs joint family including parents, uncles, aunties and cousins came to our house and started demanding we hand my cousin over to them so that they can punish him for fighting with their son.

My parents refused saying it was just a minor fight between two kids and that we elders should not interfere in childrenʼs fights as they will become friends soon.

But they were not in a mood to listen and all in one voice started arguing with my parents. They were somehow trying to grab my cousin. It was only after my elder sister warned them not to dare to touch him that they left the place murmuring.

Next day, we saw both the boys playing together again, but the foolish and heartless behaviour of the other boyʼs family brought a distance between the elders, and remains so even after two decades.

– Sherina Shaikh, Goa.

face for few minutes. This will remove dead cells and accumulated dirt from the skin. Wash with water and feel refreshed.

Admire the glowing skin: Mix equal quantities of sugar, lemon juice and gramflour (besan) and apply over the face and neck. Leave till it dries.

Wash off and rub the face with ice cubes. Admire the fresh glowing skin.

Soft and smooth skin: Mash an over-ripe banana. Add half a teaspoon honey and the juice of half a lemon to it. Apply on your face and hands for a clear and smooth skin.

Refresh your skin: Squeeze lemon in a bowl of cold water. Splash it on the face and rub it gently. Leave for a few minutes before washing

ADD LEMON JUICE TO 1/4TH BUCKET OF WATER AND USE IT AS LAST RINSE FOR HAIR AFTER SHAMPOO. THIS WILL ADD SHINE TO YOUR HAIR.

with normal water. Admire fresh glowing skin.

Say no to freckles: Blanch and grind a few almonds. Add egg white and half a teaspoon of lemon juice.

Mix well and smear on the face.

Wash off after 15 minutes.

Goodbye dark elbows: Lemon juice can lighten dark elbows when applied regularly over a period of time.

Smooth chapped lips and cracked heels: Smooth cracked heels and chapped lips by applying lemon juice mixed with glycerine. You may use fresh cream instead of glycerine to have same results.

Keep dryness at bay: Lemon juice, honey and olive oil mixed in equal proportion is great for keeping dryness at bay.

Pamper your hands: Summer heat can be very harsh for your hands. Mix two teaspoons lemon juice, four teaspoons of honey and four teaspoons of almond oil.

Massage well on your hands and leave for 15-20 minutes. Wash it off with a mixture of equal quantities of vinegar and water.

Slow down the hands of ageing: Lemons can help reduce ageing spots and dark circles. Sprinkle sugar granules onto the ageing spots and rub the wedge of lemon over it for at least eight-10 minutes. Just do it once a week. You will notice age spots reducing over a period of time.

Get rid of acne and blackhead: Dab lemon juice over blemishes, acne or blackheads. Leave for half an hour. If it is a little strong, dilute it with water. Wash off with cold water.

Citric acid in lemon helps clear off acne and blemishes and keeps the skin fresh and bright.

Hair shine: Add lemon juice to 1/4th bucket of water and use it as last rinse for hair after shampoo.

This will add shine to your hair.

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Keep dandruff at bay: Massage lemon juice into the scalp and leave for a few minutes before washing off with lukewarm water. This remedy can help you get rid of an itchy flaky scalp and keep the dandruff at bay.

Healthy shiny nails: Soak the nails (fingernails or toenails) for about 10 minutes in lemon juice. Brush the nails with a mixture of white vinegar and warm water (equal proportions) before rinsing with warm water. This simple remedy not only makes your

FRESH SCENT OF LEMON IS SO REFRESHING AND CALMING THAT THE MEDICAL FRATERNITY FEELS THAT IT CAN HELP REDUCE MENTAL FATIGUE, EXHAUSTION AND STRESS.

nail look bright and shining but also makes them strong.

Lemon in aromatherapy: Lemons can really uplift your spirits and energise you in this scorching heat. Simply add fresh lemon peel or fresh juice to the bath water. Lighting lemon candles can also refresh the atmosphere.

Fresh scent of lemon is so refreshing and calming that the medical fraternity feels that it can help reduce mental fatigue, exhaustion and stress.

HANDY TIPS

HONEY Honey is used as a food supplement or as medicine. It is good because it contains minerals like sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium and iron as well as some vitamins of B group and some vitamin C. For centuries honey has been considered a wonder food in many countries. In ancient Greece athletes took large quantities of honey while training for the olympic games. Even today honey is taken by mountain climbers and swimmers to increase their endurance.

Children who are given honey regularly improve their blood count, weight, energy and appearance. It has been proved that three teaspoons of honey contain as much energy as a large farm egg.

Honeyʼs healing properties were first discovered by Aesculapius father of medicine. Today, honey is used in post-surgical treatment.

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hasten healings. Honey draws out the moisture from the wound and the bacteria quickly dies in the dry atmosphere. It is also effective in keeping the lungs, kidney and skin remarkably free from diseases.

Just add a spoon of honey with pomegranate juice and drink it cold and flu will be gone. Do you want to grow slim? Take a spoon of honey in lime juice. Do you want to put on flesh? Then mix a spoonful of honey with milk every night.

If you get pain in the throat immediately take a spoon of honey.

The pain will simply vanish. Are you suffering from chronic cough? Make a paste of a spoonful honey and woodapple. Eat it every night and get relief.

A teaspoon of pure honey every morning with water enlivens nerves and provides daylong freshness. But do not smear honey on your hair, for you will end up with having a white wig!

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August (First) 2013

● Dry lemon peels, powder them and store in a bottle for beautifying the skin. You may dry them in the sun but prefer drying in the shade. ● Use the dried peels for flavouring desserts. ● Add lemon juice to the water when boiling eggs. It will prevent eggs from cracking and also make egg peeling easy. ● A slice of lemon added to the water at the time of boiling potatoes or chickpeas keeps the pressure cooker stain free.

SAFETY ALERTS ●

Wash lemons thoroughly before using them to remove pesticide residues. The skin of most of the fruits is sprayed with pesticides. ● Individuals allergic to citrus fruits should avoid using lemons or should consult the doctor before using them. ● People suffering from heartburn, kidney or gall bladder problems should consult a doctor before using lemons. ● Always dilute lemon juice before drinking or applying to prevent enamel decay. ● Strong lemon juice can be harsh for the skin. Dilute it before applying.

What are you waiting for? Go for lemons, save money, save your skin We and look more beautiful!

Short Story

A Lunch Box It saved Simran. By R. R. Harshana

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a few seconds she can’t see anything as darkness er cellphone alarm rings and Simran jumps prevails all around. Her handbag too has fallen out of bed. It’s an auspicious morning for her. The first day of her life as an officer in a somewhere on the ground. She stretches her hand to search for the handbag but can’t find it. ‘I must use bank. Only yesterday she had received the my cellphone torch light,’ she thinks but she appointment letter. She felt as if she was in remembers the cellphone too is in the handbag. For seventh heaven. The whole day she had felt a couple of minutes, full of anxiety, she searches for the excitement of being a working woman, her bag all around in the dark but can’t find it. Then financially independent as well as an important she stands still. ’Where would my bag have fallen?’ member of the family. she asks herself disquietly.

Her mummy is busy in the kitchen preparing tea and breakfast. nd then to her utmost astonishment and fear “Good morning, mom!” she shouts cheerfully she finds a sparkling light a little away from while passing from kitchen to the bathroom. her. Suddenly, before she can guess what it is, At sharp 10, she sets out for her new venture, the light gets closer and soon it falls upon her face.

“Bye mom, see you in the evening.

“Who’s there?” she cries out but in the twinkling “Wait...please, ladki,” Her mummy walks fast to of an eye a strong hand clutches around her waist, her and hands her a lunch box. “Take this. You’ll and the other hand is pressed firmly on her mouth feel hungry in the afternoon.” not allowing her to speak.

“Okay.”

“Don’t move or I’ll kill you.” She hears a warning Through overcrowded traffic she rides on her and is terror-stricken. For a few seconds she scooty and within half an hour reaches her unsuccessfully tries to release herself from the strong destination. hold.

A few moments later she is standing in front of a The assailant undoubtedly seems to be a strong skyscraper. She looks up and finds the building too man, pulls her towards him and forces her to walk in tall. She has to go to the seventh floor where the bank is located. She walks to the ground floor where the darkness.

She becomes aware that the floor she is walking some people are waiting to enter the lift. She along on is under construction as it pains her to walk on with a few ladies and gentlemen enter the lift and the sharp stones. Her mouth is still tightly pressed soon she is moving up to the seventh floor.

There she finds a long corridor with a soft crimson and she feels a knife touching her stomach.

Without protest she helplessly follows where she carpet. She walks to the end of it and finds that is taken. ahead seems no way as the corridor is Through They enter a spacious room where dark and some sort of construction suddenly she finds sufficient light to look material is lying there. She throws her overcrowded around. Construction material is lying all glance as far as she can and finds a dim traffic she around. It’s a bare room, probably a light on the other side of the corridor. deserted one.

‘Work must be in progress,’ she thinks. rides on her Quickly and with a strong hold the But she quickly decides to walk through it assailant drags her to a corner and then and go to the other end of the corridor. scooty and with one hand released, opens a window.

But, to her bewilderment, as she walks on, within half The sunlight enters and it dazzles her it becomes darker and she increases her eyes.

A moment later everything is visible pace in order to pass through the corridor an hour in the room. as fast as possible. But in her attempt to reaches her She is trapped all alone in a room of a walk fast she collides with something and multi-storeyed building where nobody ever it badly hurts her left leg. destination. passes through. She becomes aware that She cries with pain and falls down. For

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she’s committed a grave mistake by walking through a dark passage and is now in deep trouble.

She looks through the open window and finds the infinite sky only. Indistinct noises are heard remotely all around. Then she feels the hold of the assailant gets loose and quite unexpectedly he thrusts her away so forcefully that she falls to the ground.

Frightened terribly, she tries to stand up and looks at her assailant.

“Don’t shout or I’ll kill you,” he speaks with a great rage.

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tunned and horrified she stares at him fearfully.

A dirty-looking ugly fellow with cheek-pressed thin face in tattered black clothes stands close to her with a knife in his hand. His trousers hang loose around his thin body and the shirt too is loose and open without buttons.

“What...wh-at do you want from ...me?” she mumbles.

Without uttering a word he almost falls to the ground and draws himself close to her, catches hold of her leg and pulls out her handbag that he has hidden inside his shirt.

“Is this yours?” he throws it in her lap.

“Take out all that is in it,” he orders.

Tremblingly she takes hold of her bag. Obeying his order she takes out her mobile phone...and hands it over to him.

“I don’t want it,” he refuses.

She pulls out her purse and thinks it wise to give him all the money.

“Take all the money,” she picks out all the currency notes, emptying her purse. Surprisingly he stares at the currency notes disapprovingly and almost cries, “What else is in the bag?”

With a slight hesitation she takes out the lunch

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box that her mother handed her over while she was departing from home.

“A lunch box,” she said quite disappointedly thinking it would enrage him more.

Hesitatingly she stretches her hand towards him.

He fixes his eyes on the lunch box for a moment, takes it in his hand, opens it. For a while he seems to be in deep contemplation about something. Then his eyes sparkle.

“Nice!” he chuckles. ”I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday. Pulao seems tasty.” He gulps a morsel of it and begins to eat hungrily.

She cannot believe her eyes. He’s eating the pulao as if he hasn’t eaten anything for a long time.

In a couple of minutes he empties the lunch box like a starved person and throws it away.

“Wa...water!” Simran hands him over the water bottle. He drinks from it.

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ow, she fears in anticipation what he would do next. Rape her? Molest her? Kill her? She shivers at the thought of an ill fate. In the dimly lit room of that tall building she is condemned to stay to entertain a strange, dangerous assailant. It may be her last moment. Her mom, dad, younger brother, her interview, her job in the bank, friends, relatives, dreams, hopes, joy – all throng into her mind as innumerable entities. The escape seems remote. The end is imminent.

She throws a final helpless glance at his ugly face, waiting to confront his ghastly action.

“A lot shukriya.”

To her astonishment he utters a thankful cry, fixing his weak eyes on her and says uncaringly, “Go away. You’re free now.”

“Can...can I go now?” Incredible. She cannot believe her ears and tries to rise on her feet. On the spur of the moment she stands erect and walks towards the door, limping and mumbling madly, “Thank goodness...thanks a lot...!”

Initially, she is unable to find her way but soon she pulls herself up to recover from a terrible mishap.

Was it a dream or reality? It’s all happened so quickly and so miraculously that she feels as if she’s got a reincarnation.

Quickly she moves from there and when she finds herself safe out of that dark and mysterious corridor, she can’t imagine how long that unfortunate nightmarish experience would haunt her memory. Would she ever forget it?

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MUTTON-POTATO: SHIVAJI-ERA DISH But why?

By Dr Sumit S. Paul

engalis don't know how to prepare mutton. They put in it potato," criticised a friend of mine, rather justifiably. I also thought that it was blasphemous adding potato to meat broth, until I came across West Asian as well as a few South East Asian mutton and beef preparations that have potato.

A Palestine mutton dish, (I'm forgetting its name) has an equal amount of potatoes in it and I'm told, it tastes pretty good. It's called salli boti in Parsi cuisine. Salli being the deep-fried slices of potato and boti being the mutton pieces. Most of the Parsi dishes are common to the Middle East, albeit with varying names.

There's one traditional Palestinian dish, though, which is prepared with fried meat balls and potatoes in a sesame paste and is called the kiftah (kofta in the subcontinent). The Burmese generously put potatoes in their beef preparations and they also add tender bamboos that taste like drumsticks! At first blush, it really appears slightly weird to see pieces

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of mutton juxtaposed with potatoes in the gravy. But potato and cauliflower – yes cauliflower – thicken the gravy.

Before coming to India in 2000, I got an assignment to write a research paper on Food and Ethnicity to be submitted at the University of Hull, England. I began to rummage through the old documents at India House, London, and found a document written in the Modi script in old Marathi. I got it read by the Amravati-born legendary English Modi expert Sir Malcolm Stramp. He read the document in one go and told me about a mutton preparation of the Shivaji's era, which had potato in it!

THE REASON And the reason was also given there, which I never found in any other language. Any kind of meat is heavy on the stomach. So, when coupled with potato and cauliflower, it loses its heaviness. Potato and cauliflower secrete a certain juice that nullifies the intense heavy property of mutton or beef.

But it's an irony that in the spectrum of Maharashtrian non-veg items, potato and cauliflower are a strict no-no, though I found a cauliflower-pea-mutton preparation in the Western Ghats. South Asian countries – viz, India, Pakistan, SriLanka and Bangladesh – eschew the use of potato in mutton.

And it's interesting to note that Bangladeshis, despite having similar

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tastes and preferences like those of the Hindu Bengalis of India, don't use potato in their mutton and beef preparations. But, there's a Sinhalese dish which is served separately as 'potatoes soaked in meat-broth' sans mutton-chunks! Mosul, a town in Iraq, which gave muslin (Frenchmousseline) to the world, is also famous for its cauliflower (but never broccoli) mutton preparation.

And now let me explain why Bengalis invariably add potatoes to meat. The late Sunil Gangopadhyay once told me that potatoes are added to meat not because they increase the quantity but unpeeled potatoes when mixed with meat may help lessen the acidity and burning sensation in the throat often caused by meat preparations. It's worthwhile to mention that, till the fag end of the 19th century, cooked meat in Bengal used to be with potatoes having skins.

Vivekananda would enjoy paathar mangsho (Bengali for lamb-curry) having pieces of small potatoes with their skins. According to ayurveda, potato-skin can mitigate the acidity and irritation that one feels after consuming mutton or anything heavy like jackfruit curry. But, strangely, Bengalis stopped using unpeeled potatoes in meat dishes after the 19th century and now you see potatoes sans skins in meat. That's why Bengalis still suffer from acidity and, according to the WHO 2000 report for South Asia, Bengal has the maximum consumption of antacid and Gelusil in the world!

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that the site provides a skewed view because its users cannot see body language or facial expressions which provide the context of the messages posted on it.

Depression in children as young as three is a reality; it is not just a passing grumpy mood, according to a new study which is billed as the first to demonstrate that major depression an be chronic even in very young children, contrary to the stereo type of the happy-go-lucky preschool kids.

“Until fairly recently, people didnʼt bestow much attention to depressive disorders in children under the age of six,” said lead author Dr Joan Luby, a psychiatrist at Washington University in St. Louis. “They least thought it could transpire because children under six were too emotionally immature to experience it.”

Research carried out previously suggested that depression affects about two per cent of preschool

children or approximately 1,60,000 youngsters. It was not very clear whether depression in these preschool kids could be as chronic as it can be in older children and adults. Lubyʼs research team followed upwards of 200 preschool kids between the ages three and six for up to a couple of years, including 75 diagnosed with major depression.

The children had up to four mental health exams during the study.

BY THE NUMBERS Among the initially depressed children, 64 per cent were still depressed or had a recurrent episode of depression six months afterwards and 40 per cent still experienced problems after two years.

Depression was common in children whose moms also had depression or had other mood disorders, and among those who had experienced a traumatic event such as the demise of one very close to the person.

Children find themselves in the depressing conditions of the juvenile custodia homes owing to utter neglect by their parents or common childhood errors of judgment. But the police, the courts, the juvenile welfare boards and the authorities make it a traumatic experience for them.

It is a universally acknowledged fact that adult neuroses has its roots in the traumas of infancy. There is

RESEARCH CARRIED OUT PREVIOUSLY SUGGESTED THAT DEPRESSION AFFECTS ABOUT TWO PER CENT OF PRESCHOOL CHILDREN OR APPROXIMATELY 1,60,000 YOUNGSTERS. 82

Thank you, WE I am a regular reader of Womanʼs Era since 1998. After 14 years I want t thank Womanʼs Era for helping me.

I got married in 1998 and, soon after, I came to Delhi. I am from a small town and did not know about the city life. In all these years my husband and Womanʼs Era have guided me a lot to improve my lifestyle. Due to continuous reading of this magazine, I am a successful wife, mother, daughter and daughterin-law. I am also blessed with two smart and intelligent daughters.

The article (A Mother Versus Woman) is a warning alarm for the parents who want to fulfil their dreams through their children. I like the article because, by reading it, their mothers will definitely get the lesson. Children need their own space. Giving them freedom at the right time will take them to the right path and will strengthen the mother-child relationship by bringing more faithfulness and enjoyment. Thank you very much for leading me to a right path.

– Amina Pernaly, Delhi.

Has something happened in your life that has left an indelible impression on your mind? Some experience that gladdens your heart or which makes you shudder with pain or embarrassment even after years! Why not share your experience with the readers of Woman’s Era? All published incidents will be paid Rs 200. Please type or write neatly on white foolscap paper and send it to: MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE AS A BRIDE E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.

Womansera.com

Name: Mobile: E-mail:

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BEYONCE IS BACK ON THE STAGE

...and in great shape mainly because of breastfeeding. By Nidhi Gandhi eyonce Knowles is back after her pregnancy. It is not even five months since she has given birth to her daughter Blue Ivy. She came for her live perfor mance showing her slim figure that belied her recent pregnancy. And she has come back after losing 60 pounds of weight. The megastar exposed her secrets of weight-loss to the crowd that had joined in her recent concert. The 30-year-old Beyonce said, “Yʼall have no idea how hard I worked. I had to lose 60 pounds. They had me on that treadmill. I ate lettuce.”

Reasons for her weight gain: Beyonce was shown to gain weight after her pregnancy and she has gained about 50 pounds during the tenure of her pregnancy, especially putting in the final 20 pounds in the last month that led to her delivery.

The actress said she would be coming back to her original form after her delivery and kept her word coming back to her real shape.

How she managed to lose her excess pounds: The singer states, “I lost most of my weight from breastfeeding and I encourage women to do it.”

As per Beyonce, breastfeeding is good for both the mother and the baby. After 10 weeks of feeding her baby Knowles tackled her remaining pounds with strict diet and exercise routines.

She counted calories and did workouts about three to four times a week. She first got into walking and then now into running as she couldnʼt directly go for running immediately after her pregnancy.

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All the hard work she did along with staying away from all the delicious dishes with no days of cheating helped her in regaining her original figure. She also said “Iʼm proud that my waist came so fast. Iʼm proud of that and happy but that was mostly from breastfeeding,” the singer added.

Beyonce Knowlesʼ healthy diet: Beyonce Knowlesʼ diet is something that can maintain a balance between her required calories to support her energy levels and at the same time being nutritious. She prefers a protein-heavy breakfast that can keep her healthy for the whole day.

For lunch she takes Sasha salad which consists of chicken breast, jalapenos, vinegar, oil, avocado, tomatoes and greens which she admits sounds delicious. Her snack options include cucumber and celery dipped in vinaigrette and fruits and carrots. For dinner she prefers grilled fish and vegetables like in the afternoon. Beyonce claims it is difficult to follow and maintain a strict diet and for satisfying food cravings she takes pizza or pasta once or twice in a week as it is required for each of us.

Beyonceʼs workout: Her workout has not changed much like her diet.

She feels that she doesnʼt want to look as if she goes to a gym. She does 10 push-ups and in addition to that she takes dance rehearsals which also consist of a major portion of her workout. She is into too much of cardio exercise fan and she is not into too much of core or strengthening exercises. With some more core exercises and her new diet habit, experts feel that she will surely We have a stunning figure.

I am 22-years-old and have just completed my engineering. I got an excellent job in a software firm in my campus interview and have joined duty two months ago. Now, I have been posted in Berlin (I know German) for a few years.

Since I joined engineering college, a boy who was three years senior to me (and three years older) and I have been in love. We always planned to get married after we graduated and got settled in good careers. My boyfriend is now 25 and is posted in South Africa.

A few days ago he called me up and said that he had fallen in love with a South African girl and that he wanted to break up with me. I am heartbroken. Can I file a case against my boyfriend for breaking his promise to me?

Did your boyfriend take advantage of you in any way after promising to marry you? Did he have sex with you, take money from you or the like, and did you agree because he had promised to make you his wife? If he did take advantage of you in such a way, you may have a case, but it would be difficult to prove. Anyway, how would you benefit by suing your boyfriend? Even if he agreed to marry you could you be happy in such a marriage? And anyway, would you want to marry a man who is in love with another woman?

You were just 18 when you fell in love – immature and not knowing anything about the world. So put your affair down as a learning experience and get on with your life.

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My husband and I are very well-off but we are strict with our only child who is 12 years old. We want her to grow up to be a simple, disciplined and hard-working person and so we do not buy her too much stuff or take her out too much.

We thought that we were succeeding but a few days ago we found out that she was stealing money from our cupboard and using it to buy herself things, to go out with her friends, etc. We are both shocked and angry. How should we punish her and make her what is best?

You donʼt seem to have understood children too well. Of course, parents must be strict with their children but they should also be loving and understanding. You do not seem to have understood your daughter at all and she seems to have desires and wants she is afraid to express to you.

Do not scold or punish your daughter now, but sit her down and talk to her. Ask her for an explanation. Explain why you are strict with her and listen while she talks and tells you why she is unhappy with your rules.

You then need to be more open and loving towards your daughter.

Also be less strict and let her have some fun. But you should also tell her never to steal and ask you for the things and the outings that she

wants. Make it clear that you will give in to reasonable demands.

I am a 19-year-old college student.

A classmate of mine has been my neighbour for four years now but I do not know the boy well. This is because he has always seemed wild and rebellious and I am scared of being friends with such boys. A few days ago, he came up to me in college and told me that he had fallen for me. He then asked me to be his girlfriend and “have fun” with him. I just said that I wasnʼt interested in a relationship and ran away.

Now the boy is making my life miserable. He has told everyone that I am his girlfriend and that we will get married one day. My friends find this very romantic and are telling me to give in to him. Should I do that?

What your teenaged friends find romantic is actually the refusal of a stubborn, wild and dangerous boy to accept a girlʼs refusal of his proposal.

This means that he doesnʼt respect you or consider you his equal.

Why are you even thinking of “giving in” to him when you are both far too young for a serious relationship, you donʼt love him and you are scared of him? It would be best if you keep away from him without antagonising him in any way.

If he continues to harass you, you should tell your parents.

I am an unmarried 22-year-old working woman. Ever since the Nirbhaya rape and murder case took place, I am frightened of leaving the house alone. I even quit my job because I had to work till eight or nine oʼclock at night. Now, I just stay at home and go out only if my brother or my father accompanies me.

My family initially understood my fear but now they are getting worried and are telling me that I should take precautions but get over my terror. They are even thinking of taking me to a counsellor. Is my fear as irrational as my family says it is?

Your initial fear is understandable, but you must yourself realise that you cannot continue to live your life in terror. You need to take precautions and be careful, but you also need to go on with your life.

Your parents are right. You should go for counselling. You should also take some self-protection classes and carry a pepper spray with you at all times. Get yourself another job with hours you are comfortable with, but begin to go out by yourself during the daytime.

Donʼt worry. You will get over your fear as time goes by and you begin to live a normal life.

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VOILA VIRGINITY! Is chastity obsolete?

n October 2012 the famous French radio station ʻEurope Oneʼ aired a very bubbly Frenchaccented Vihgreens Onthed (Virgins Wanted) programme.

Twenty-year-old Brazilian Catarina Miglioriniʼs virginity was put on auction on an Australian website together with boy virgin, Alexander Stepanov.

The bid started with $1 within Brazil, then spread worldwide. On 24 October, both were sold: Catarina fetched a whopping $780,000 with 15 bids. Her third highest bidder was an Indian Rudra Chatterjee, the runnerup American Jack Miller while Natsu, a Japanese, won his prize “flying in a private jet between Australia and the US in order to counteract inter national prostitution laws.” Mean while, Alexander got eight bids and sold for only $2,800. Look at the premium female virginity commands even in todayʼs promiscuous society!

The narrator of In Praise of Older Women avoids sleeping with virgins because “they are terrified of the consequences and I, of the preliminaries.” He must surely be an exception because, by and large,

By Maharaaj K. Koul

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men prefer virgins. In India, in fact, virginity was said to be the best gift a girl could give to her husband on their wedding night.

But that was in the old, old days.

We are in the 21st century and we

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

now have a liberated attitude towards sex. Really! In 1981, when Lady Diana was engaged to marry Britainʼs Prince Charles, as per a set of unwritten conventions governing royal life, British Royalty and its advisers expected her to be a virgin to ensure purity of the bloodline. She passed and only then was she thought fit to be the future queen of England. Their son Prince William has broken tradition. He lived with his girlfriend on-and-off for eight years before marrying her.

That famous British virginity test reminds one of the infamous ones conducted on Indian women in the 1970s. Indian women were subjected to virginity tests before being allowed entry into the UK, a directive denied

by Prime Minister James Callaghan in 1979 to his then Indian counterpart Morarji Desai. These and other details emerged recently from declassified UK Home Ministry files.

The tests, to check if Indian women claiming to be brides or fiances of British subjects were indeed so, took place at the missions in Delhi and Mumbai. Such tests have been around all over the globe:

TICKING BIOLOGICAL CLOCK AND FERTILITY

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uchi Sharma, a 37-year-old lady, a top executive in an MNC, married for seven years is desperately trying to conceive for the last two years but with no results. All her test reports are apparently normal and she is absolutely clueless about what has happened to her fertility. In the “initial five years of my marriage, I did not even have the time to think about pregnancy, let alone the idea of bringing up a baby. Work, meetings, project deadlines were the only things in my life. When I started thinking about starting my family, it just did not happen. Now, I am gradually sinking into depression.” Cases like Ruchiʼs are not uncommon.

Professional and personal opportunities are there for women over the past 30 years encouraging them to postpone motherhood. Majority of 33% high achieving women who are childless at the age of 41-55 did not choose to be childless and would still like to have children. They simply forgot that their biological clock ticks in unison with the time.

According to Dr K.D.Nayar, chief consultant, Akanksha IVF Centre, New Delhi, who performs more than 500 IVF/ICSI cycles annually, every day When to see infertility expert • If female is <35 years & unable to conceive after 1 yr of unprotected intercourse.

• If female is >35 years & unable to conceive after 6 months of unprotected intercourse sees eight-10 females above the age of 35 who are desperate to conceive and their number is sharply rising.

Women are known to be born with a limited quantity of eggs. Statistically speaking, the chances of pregnancy for women over 30 start to decline by about 3.5% per year. This rate continues to increase after the age of 40. After 45, however, experts say it is virtually impossible for a woman to conceive using her own eggs exclusively.

As the age increases,the quality & the quantity of eggs decline, thereby affecting fertilisation, embryo quality and pregnancy rates. Ovarian functions can decline without women even realising it. Biology of female eggs has not kept pace with career life spans of today.

For women, menopause is an obvious sign of ageing. But, it is by no means the only change. A transition period lasts for many as 5-7 years

before menopause and this occurs because of a distinct and dramatic decline in oestrogen production. And as the women age, the quality and quantity of their eggs both decline, leading to not only decreased chances of pregnancy but also increased risk of genetic problems in the baby.

This triad of declining fertility, declining hormone levels and increasing risk for genetic problems is what most people mean when they say “biological clock”. According to Dr Nayar, “it is difficult to identify this transition period by symptoms alone and only by coming to a specialist and by special tests and ultrasound can one identify this and intervene early.”

FEMALE BILOGICAL CLOCK WOMEN IN THEIR 20s Fertility rate/month is 20-25% Spontaneous miscarriage rate 5-10% Incidence of genetic abnormality i.e. downsʼs syndrome is 1 in 1200.

When fertility starts to decline Womenʼs age-related decline in fertility is the result of both a decrease in the number of eggs and egg quality. Monthly birthrates remain relatively stable through age 35 despite a 90% drop in overall egg counts, fertility research suggests. After that, birthrates decline faster probably as a result of declining egg quality.

Egg reserve

130,000

70,000

Age 13 average onset of puberty

25 monthly live birthrate starts to decline 30 12% of eggs remain

30,000

35 considered “advanced maternal age”

13,000

40 3% of eggs remain

5,000

45 1% monthly chance of live birth

1,000

51 average onset of menopause

Source www.fertilityclock.com

Dr K. D. NAYAR

These younger women are physically active and should do moderate exercise in the first and third trimester, should avoid smoking, alcohol, caffeine, etc.

WOMEN IN THEIR EARLY 30s Fertility rate per month is 15% Miscarriage rate is 20% Should start prenatal vitamins WOMEN > 35 YEARS Fertility rate per month is 10% Miscarriage rate is 25% Risk of Downʼs syndrome 1 in 350 Genetic testing is recommended WOMEN > 40 YEARS Sharp decline in achieving pregnancy Fertility rate per month is 5%.

Even with IVF success rate is 10% 90% of eggs are genetically abnormal on biopsy Miscarriage rate is 33% Incidence of genetic abnormalities is 1 in 38.

WOMEN > 45 YEARS Pregnancy is a difficult proposition as virtually all the remaining eggs are genetically abnormal. <1% chance of getting pregnant using their own eggs.

Miscarriage rate > 45% Incidence of genetic abnormality – 1/12.

Egg donation is the key.

Oocyte donation success rate is 80%.

AGEING IN MEN In the last 30 years, there is a 50% increase in men who became fathers above the age of 35. The genetic quality of sperm does decline, leading to an increased risk of genetic problems in offspring above and beyond any contribution by the female.

Although itʼs an idea that has not yet filtered down to the general public, we now know that men have biological clocks too. And those clocks involve the same physiological triad experienced by women. Male fertility and male sex hormone do decline with age. The decline in sex hormones is not as steep or as sudden as with menopause. 1% per year decline in testosterone level after age of 30 years is termed as “andropause”.

The symptoms include decreased libido, erectile dysfunction, loss of muscle mass, weight gain, declining cognitive function associated with type II diabetes.

Older men are at a higher risk of harbouring a child with schizophrenia and also risk of having children with Downʼs syndrome. Now, the features of ageing have expanded the notion of “biological clock” to include both sexes.

Dr K. D. Nayar, M.D., D.G.O., Dip. Obst. (Ireland), Chief Consultant Infertility and IVF, Akanksha IVF Centre, Mata Chanan Devi Hospital C-1, Janak Puri, New Delhi-110058, Ph: +91-11-45582261, 45682024, 25524951, Mob: +91-9810398765, www.akankshaivfcentre.com, www.ivfspecialistdelhi.com

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● To the Zulus of South Africa, virginity tests are a revered custom, one that discourages early sex and, after falling into disuse, has been revived to fight the spread of HIV. ● In November 2008, a French appeals court reinstated the marriage of a Muslim man who had sought an annulment because his bride lied about being a virgin. ● In June 2011, Egyptʼs military rulers admitted that virginity tests were carried out on female protesters to avoid allegations that the army had raped them. ● In December 2011, a Saudi rights activist said a report given to a high-level advisory group claimed that allowing women to drive will threaten the tradition of virgin brides. ● A report in July 2012 indicated that Iraqi women face court-ordered virginity tests that often show they were virgins until marriage but shame them nonetheless.

Patriarchal societies where women are considered subservient to men are fixated on virginity.

Deflowering a virgin supposedly gives men a sense of dominance and possession. A womanʼs body is very open to penetration and so she is easy prey. In that act, a woman becomes loser, even though sheʼs just ruptured a body membrane. Is virginity a possession more valuable than other inevitable body functions like shedding milk teeth, losing hair or eyesight weakening with time?

Well, who can forget the 2006 statement that created a huge controversy when South Indian film star Khushboo said in an interview that “none of the educated people will insist that their bride be a virgin!” A survey conducted by the Indian Market Research Bureau in 1978 showed that a majority of college girls in our four major metros had never kissed a man on the lips. They firmly believed that premarital sex “is wrong” and that “most boys want to marry a virgin”. But not any more, perhaps!

People in Asian countries, including India, lose their virginity at a much older age than those in the West, according to a worldwide study of sexual behaviour and contra -

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Believe It or Not! ● In some primitive societies, men feared female sex organs.

Hymeneal blood was considered contaminated! ● Often, the priest, tribal chief or medical man performed defloration of young girls. Or else, the husband himself would deflower his wife using a stick or bone before the whole village! ● On the Malabar coast, Brah mins were paid to deflower girls! ● Marco Polo stated about the Tibetans that ʻnone of them would want to take a girl as wife who was a virginʼ. For, none would want a wife who had not already aroused masculine desires! ● Female circumcision in parts of Africa and the Middle East is done to prevent sexual intercourse, ensure virginity and enhance femininity! ● The cult of the Virgin Mary promoted the concept of virginity among Catholics! ● There have been incidents reported in India of men seeking out young girls in the (mistaken) belief that intercourse with a virgin cures syphilis and other sexually trans mitted diseases! ● In Samoa, the husband uses his fingers wrapped in white cloth to deflower his wife and the cloth is then torn to bloody bits and distributed! ● ʻSworn Virginsʼ of the Balkans are women who swear an oath of

virginity and live their lives as men – with short hair, menʼs clothing and traditionally male jobs! ● In 2003, a Chinese businessman received 5,000 applications from women after he advertised for a perfect virginal bride! ● Pop diva Britney Spears began drinking at the age of 13, lost virginity at 14 and then started drugs at the age of 15! ● In 2009, an American student, Natalie Dylan, 22, while auctioning her virginity to pay for a masterʼs degree in family and marriage Therapy, fetched bids of $3.7 million! ● A new research has found that women who grow up with a younger brother tend to lose their virginity nearly two years later than otherwise because of their traditional caregiving!

TO THE ZULUS OF SOUTH AFRICA, VIRGINITY TESTS ARE A REVERED CUSTOM, ONE THAT DISCOURAGES EARLY SEX AND, AFTER FALLING INTO DISUSE, HAS BEEN REVIVED TO FIGHT THE SPREAD OF HIV.

ceptive use. On average, age for having sex first was 19.25, according to the study The Global Face of Sex, compiled by Durex, manufacturers of Durex condoms. Austrians were the first to lose their virginity at 17.3 years old, followed by Germans (17.6), New Zealanders (17.8), Australians (17.9) and Americans (18.0). Malaysians were the oldest to lose their virginity at 23.0 years, followed by Indians (22.9), Singaporeans (22.8), Chinese (22.1), Thais (20.5), Hong Kongers (20.2),

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

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The Illusion of Virginity

Forget Botox, liposuction or breast enlargement. The newest trend in plastic surgery is vaginal recons truction, including hymeno plasty, which offers patients new virginity. The procedure, also known as revirgination, is being hawked in magazines and the Internet as a way for women to improve their sex life or enjoy a second honeymoon.

Hymenoplasty is the restoration of the hymen – the thin vaginal membrane – that normally breaks during the first act of intercourse.

Sex has shifted from being discussed in hushed tones to open drawing room discussions. Most preteens know about the birds and bees, schools have introduced sex education and parents are openly discussing the S-word with their kids. The guilt has made way for curiosity. But, many people would like what happens between the sheets to stay right there.

Hymenoplasty is a boon for those wanting to sing a la Madonnaʼs Like A Virgin. By all reports, those opting for it include women in the market for marriage, prostitutes wanting to turn housewives and even women who, want to experience that ʻfirsttimeʼ feeling all over again.

Though long popular among women in the Middle East and Latin America, where being chaste is important on oneʼs wedding night, hymenoplasty is experiencing newfound popularity everywhere. One US clinic boasts on its Internet site that its practitioners can repair the hymen as if nothing occurred. Says Delhi-based cosmetic surgeon Dr Anup Dhir, “A high- profile lady once got her hymen reconstructed as a surprise for her husband.” He maintains he gets nearly 25 enquiries a year, with rise of about 15 per cent per year in actual surgeries over the last 10 years.

The trend is discreet, but itʼs there. The surgery costs anywhere between ` 30,000 and ` 70,000 and usually takes less than an hour. Dr Meenakshi Agarwal, Mumbai-based cosmetic surgeon, admits to getting at least three such cases a month.

There are still signs of unease associated with a changing society.

Mumbai-based psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria gets several young people coming to her all grappling with a loss of virginity.

Nigerians (19.7) and Japanese (19.4). However, according to the latest survey conducted in Britain, while the average age to lose virginity is considered to be between 16 and 17, around a quarter of 14-to 15-year-olds confessed to having enjoyed a romp, while 12 per cent of the children under 13 confessed to having had sex. Young Britons are losing their virginity aged just 12. The study also found that the average Britons had nine sex partners over their lifetime. “There is a clear gender split, with men having had an average 94

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

of 11 partners while women have had less than 7,” the study noted.

The sexual development research in the US indicates that young people who lose their virginity at a relatively later age, from around 21 to 23, may be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems later. Another American study points out that adolescents with IQ scores ranging from 70 to 110 had the lowest probability of virginity. The average IQ score being 90 to 110.

High value was placed on virginity in Western mythology. Ancient Romeʼs goddess Vesta had nine virgin priestesses serving her. Vestal virgin Rhea Silvia, raped by the god Mars, gave birth to Romulus and Remus – twin founders of Rome. The city's fate was linked to virginity. If any of the virgins broke virginity vows, wars or natural disasters would befall Rome. Virgin Greek goddesses Hestia, Artemis and Athena were symbols of female power and independence, quite unlike the connotation for virginity today.

Among Greek gods, virginity was a renewable quality. Goddess Hera, wife of Zeus, renewed her virgin status every year by bathing in a special stream. So was Queen Draupadi, wife of the five Pandava brothers of Mahabharata, who was granted a boon from Lord Shiva to be born a virgin every year.

Indian society is much more liberal now but old values die hard. There is a strange ambivalence towards the issue of virginity. Most girls feel it is right to lose virginity before marriage but, when it comes to themselves, they first believe in ʻa serious commitmentʼ. Then many feel itʼs largely a psychological thing. One can feel like a virgin even when one has slept with someone. Or vice versa. Sometimes a relationship is so strong that even if there is no physical intimacy, it is as good as losing your virginity. Sociologist Dr Ritambhara Hebber from the Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai, observes, “As long as womenʼs bodies are seen as objects and not subjects of self-volition, virginity will We continue to be an issue.”

Tuboplasty â&#x20AC;&#x201C; S

MICROSURGERY TO OPEN THE BLOCKED FALLOPIAN TUBES IN INFERTILITY

arita was married four years back but could not become pregnant. All investigations revealed that she was having blocked fallopian tubes for which IVF was advised. But she was not interested to undergo IVF due to certain reasons.

Then one day her neighbour told that blocked fallopian tubes can be opened by microsurgery, she told how her sister got pregnant after her blocked fallopian tubes were opened by microsurgery. Sarita immediately opted for microsurgical tuboplasty and after six months of operation she was pregnant. Blocked fallopian tubes is a cause of infertility in 2 per cent of all infertile couples. There are two treatments for blocked fallopian tubes â&#x20AC;&#x201C; IVF or tuboplasty.

IVF is procedure which if successful gives pregnancy only once and if one wants to have another pregnancy one has to undergo IVF again. Not only this, if person gets aborted, IVF done again.

Tuboplasty is dying branch for simple reason that its learning curve is very tedious, while IVF can be leant in one month, to learn proper tuboplasty one needs years of learning.

Microsurgery and lap microsurgery can now open the blocked fallopian tubes in infertile patients as well as it can do reversal of sterilization in both males and females.

Fallopian tubes are two in numbers in lower part of abdomen and attached proximally to uterus and distally free in pelvic cavity.

The length of tubes is 10 cm.

The ova after release from ovary enters the fallopian tubes and migrates proximally to uterus, if sperms are present in proximal part of tubes the fertilization of ovum may take place and then fertilized ova enters the uterus to be implanted there, If tubes are blocked at any part the sperms and ova cant meet and infertility is the result.

Usually there is no symptom of blocked fallopian tubes so they are diagnosed after marriage when the wife is not being bestowed upon by pregnancy and the battery of investigations are done to find out the cause for infertility one of them being hystero salpingography which shows the blockage of tubes. Blocked fallopian tubes are having two options only, either IVF which is in vitro fertilization or tuboplasty which means opening the blocked fallopian tubes by microsurgery.

Microsurgery is boon for those women who have blocked fallopian tubes in infertility. Similarly by female genital reconstruction the size of uterus can be enlarged in infertility, when because of small size of uterus woman is not becoming pregnant or getting aborted.

Other deformities of uterus and genital organs which are resulting in infertility can also be corrected by using female genital reconstruction.

Dr V P Agarwal (Vpagarwal@gmail.com) 95

Kulkarni enjoyed the Maharashtrian delicacies and were overheard telling Genelia to get more home-cooked food as often as possible! eepika Padukoneʼs latest release, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (YJHD), is doing great business at the box office. It had made over ` 160 crore. And apart from her chemistry with ex-boyfriend Ranbir Kapoor, her bespectacled look has also become a topic of discussion. Weʼve learned that the actor — who maintains that her character, Naina Talwar, is very close to her real self — wants the glasses she wore in the film as a souvenir.

When asked, the actor says, “Naina is a special character for me. The glasses helped me live that part. Iʼd like to keep them as a memory of her.”

Another insider close to her adds, “Sheʼs emotional about the character, and the glasses were an important part of it. Also, people kept calling her ʻchashmishʼ (a term she was addressed as in the film too). “Sheʼs also relieved that the audience liked her bespectacled look,” says the insider.

D

B O M B AY

ften when actors work together for a film, they tend to bond with each other especially during long shooting schedules. But for the Grand Masti team itʼs been more of a reunion after seven years (sequel to the film hit Masti), as Ritesh Deshmukh, Aftab Shivdasani and Vivek Oberoi have been doing some big-time male bonding over delicious food!!! The charming Genelia who

O

Deepika and Ranbirʼs YJHD is doing great business.

F I L M D O M

tied the knot with Ritesh Deshmukh last year has been a regular on the sets. The duo lent a caring gesture by bringing home-cooked food for one and all on the sets! To make the environment even more homely Genelia would usually come around lunch time with yummy home-cooked food from aamti, puran poli, Kolhapuri fish to shrikhand and that too in such large portions that the entire unit would pig out!” quips a source on the sets.

Vivek, Aftab, Induji and Ashokhji and the leading ladies Karishma Tanna, Manjari, Fadnis and Sonali

n todayʼs era where actors use make-up for their different appearances and avatars, here's one star who goes to extreme lengths to achieve an authentic length for his next film! Superstar Saif Ali Khan

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Bonding together over delicious food.

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ARE YOU

HARBOURING AN ECTOPIC PREGNANCY?

Ectopic Pregnancy, an abnormal pregnancy in which fertilised ovum develops outside the normal uterine cavity.

Dr Archana Dhawan Bajaj

Ectopic pregnancy is a rare gynaecological condition in which pregnancy occurs at a site outside the uterus. Such a pregnancy could be inside a fallopian tube, ovary, cervic or very rarely in the abdominal cavity outside the uterus. Most common is the tubal pregnancy.

Most often, ectopic pregnancy occurs within the first few weeks of pregnancy. You might not even know you're pregnant yet, so sometimes it can be a big shock. Doctors usually discover it by the 8th week of pregnancy.

Ectopic pregnancy is the leading cause of pregnancy-related death in the first trimester of pregnancy.

Reason of ectopic pregnancy The major cause of an ectopic pregnancy is a damaged fallopian tube. The defective tube doesn't let a fertilised egg enter the uterus, so it starts fertilising in the fallopian tube or elsewhere.

The following conditions predispose to an ectopic: • Pregnancy while using an intrauterine device (IUD) might be more likely to have an ectopic pregnancy.

• Smoking and having multiple sexual partners.

• History of pelvic inflammatory Symptoms of an Ectopic Pregnancy Light vaginal bleeding Nausea and vomiting Lower abdominal pain Sharp abdominal cramps Pain on one side of your body Dizziness or weakness Pain in your shoulder, neck, or rectum

Nurture Clinic

disease (PID) and sexuallytransmitted diseases such as chlamydia and gonorrhea.

• Congenital abnormality of the fallopian tube • Birth control methods – unsuccessful tubal ligation (surgical sterilisation) or reversal of tubal ligation.

• Use of fertility drugs and infertility treatments like IUI and IVF. • Infertility treatments such as in vitro fertilisation (IVF) These days abortion pills are very popular and available off the counter. Such a situation can be lifethreatening. This is even more crucial in unmarried pregnant girls who take these pills very secretly. So be aware of the fact that you may be ectopic pregnant.

It usually presents itself with a lower abdominal pain. In any situation of doubt an ultrasound and blood test for serum Beta HCG helps in diagnosis.

Sometimes you may not have any symptom and your routine early pregnancy ultrasound may show an ectopic pregnancy.

Treatment for ectopic pregnancy Treatment of an ectopic pregnancy varies, depending on how medically stable the woman is and the size and location of the pregnancy.

An early ectopic pregnancy can sometimes be treated with an injection which stops the growth of the embryo.

In some cases, the fallopian tube and ovary may be damaged; therefore developing cells must be removed to save the mother's life.

If the fallopian tube has not ruptured and the pregnancy has not

progressed very far, laparoscopic surgery may be all that is needed to remove the embryo and repair the damage. During this surgery, a tiny incision is made in the fallopian tube and the embryo is removed.

If the ectopic ruptures, it can lead to an emergency condition of severe internal bleeding. Treatment of this problem includes – Intravenous the fluids, keeping patient warm, oxygen, raising the legs, blood transfusion, surgery.

If there is a rupture, surgery is done to stop blood loss and remove the pregnancy. In some cases, the doctor may have to remove the fallopian tube. If the ectopic pregnancy has not ruptured, treatment may include injectable Methotrexate that ends the pregnancy, along with close monitoring by your doctor. In some cases, medication stops the growth of pregnancy tissue. This treatment option may be appropriate if the tube is not ruptured and the pregnancy has not progressed very far.

After treatment for an ectopic pregnancy, you will usually have to have additional blood tests to make sure that the entire tubal pregnancy was removed. The blood tests detect the HCG level, the hormone that is produced during pregnancy.

Many women who have had an ectopic pregnancy will go on to have normal pregnancies in the future, but some will have difficulty in conceiving again. This difficulty is more common in women who also had fertility problems before the ectopic pregnancy. Your prognosis depends on your fertility before the ectopic pregnancy, as well as the extent of any damage incurred. The key is to diagnose early and treat it aggressively to prevent morbidity and mortality from ectopic pregnancy.

Dr Archana Dhawan Bajaj, MBBS, DNB, MNAMS, (OBS-GYNAE) M.MED Science (UK) B-125, Naraina Vihar, New Delhi-110 028, Contact at: +91 9810265065, 9818003002

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the way films portray woman (as item numbers), we need to change the way society deals with the fair sex, “for art and films only reflect what is going on around. It is unfortunate that many big film ladies donʼt speak out on major social issues for fear of courting controversy. This sends out a wrong signal to women. That they should also keep shut. ” Sonam who is known to dress well supported the recent Slut walk campaign, “I need to speak out for several young women look up to me.

The point is simple: what if we wear certain types of clothes and do things, we are not doing anything wrong. The problem is the gaze of men, they need to change. African women dress much less than we and closer home what are Khajuraho and Ajanta, Elora caves? We are not going to run around in burqas. It is not our culture. We are the land of the Kamasutra for goodness sake.

Are we going back to the dark ages, it is ridiculous.”

M

Puja Gupta loved to act in Go Goa Gone.

L

iss India, Puja Gupta, who has had a slew of releases beginning with Go Goa Gone then Short Cut Romeo, has no problems adorning a bikini, (she looks very hot in Short Cut) “I come from a pageant background, so we are comfortable with our bodies. I only have issues with somethings which I canʼt see with my mom and elder brother. My mother is a very modern, educated woman and she has seen me wearing a bikini on the Miss India stage. She has no qualms of seeing a girl in swim wear.”

Pooja here adds that when she signed Go Goa Gone, many people questioned her wisdom for trying a different genre. “Nay sayers laughed, saying why are you associating yourself with a small project and mostly you will get a bit role and your character will get bumped off as the promos suggested. But I stuck to my guns for I loved the concept. Critics have loved my work. And I did not need to pay them for their kind words.”

Sonam Kapoor speaks for women.

who is essaying the role of a rural and raw gangster based in the state of UP for Tigmanshu Dhuliaʼs Bullett Raja, has been going the extra mile for this film, in a most unique manner!

A source close to the team said, “Saif really puts in a lot of effort to get into his character. Tigmanshu wanted a certain tanned look since he is playing the role of a rural gangster.

When Saif learnt this, he decided that instead of the make-up he would sit outside his van in the afternoons to get the natural tanned look. We all told him that it was not necessary to do that as it was really scorching hot, but he did not listen to us.” Well, we are sure such extreme dedication will definitely pay off!

Bullett Raja, which is backdropped against a mafia based in Uttar Pradesh, will be a complete action entertainer and also stars gorgeous Sonakshi Sinha and very talented Jimmy Shergill. onam Kapoor who is playing a Muslim girl in Raanjhanan, says rather than demanding changes in

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eaving no stone unturned to ensure that their film features stunning action, the makers of Akshay Kumarʼs next have flown down London-based Hollywood action director Greg Powell. The film, tentatively titled Pistol, is the Hindi remake of Tamil thriller Thuppakki (2012). AR Murugadoss of Ghajini (2008) fame, who directed the south version, will helm the Hindi remake as well. “This is the first Bollywood film Iʼm working on and the experience has been great. The Indian crew is extremely professional.

The special effects teams are good too,” says Greg, who has worked on Skyfall (2012) and Fast and Furious 6 and is looking forward to his next Hollywood releases.

Ask him about the experience of directing action star Akshay and he says, “Akshay is extremely enthusiastic about trying out new things. He rehearses a lot and is very, very fast. His skills are really good. In fact, he was jumping from one building to another the other day and pulled it off very well.”

– Anil Merani

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tolerate the grease, grime and the leftovers in our plates which, if left untreated, helps in the growth of harmful bacteria. To keep our kitchen sink spotless and bacteria-free, as is required so that the dishes and utensils washed in it too are bacteria free – scrub it with a paste of bleach and water once every week. Adding a cup of vinegar down the drain also helps in reducing the growth of bacteria.

We are being constantly told to “eat the rainbow”, but are all pale foods useless?

Yes, it is true that we are always being told to eat colourful foods as we would like to wear colourful clothes. The white and pale foods which we should avoid include the refined foods such as white rice, white flour (maida), white sugar, white bread, etc.

But we must remember that not all white and pale foods are bad – fruits and vegetables that bear an edible white flesh (for example, apple and pear) provide protection against strokes.

Since our cooking requires a lot of cutting and chopping, a chopping board is a must in every kitchen.

What type of a chopping board would be the best?

Yes, you are right, a chopping board is a must in every kitchen. It saves our time as well as cuts to our fingers. A wooden cutting or chopping board is safer than a plastic one. Bacteria die with in minutes on a wooden chopping board while on a plastic cutting board, they multiply unhindered.

Our kitchen sink plays a very important role in the life of our utensils, and it has to be very clean and bacteria free. How can we do this?

Our kitchen sink has to do the most dirty work of our kitchen – i.e.

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We all know that saffron is the most expensive and exotic spice in the world. What is “coupe” saffron?

Picked by hand, only the reddest part of the stigmas are called “coupe”. 75,000 crocus flowers are required to produce a single pound of saffron. Used in rice dishes, soups, breads and desserts, saffron will impart a beautiful golden colour and subtle flavour.

Which type of iron, animal-based or vegetable-based, is most easily absorbed by our bodies?

Animal foods contain ʻhemeʼ iron, which is easily absorbed by the body.

Meat and fish has a higher absorption (10-20 per cent) compared to a vegetarian diet which has a low level of absorption (2-5 per cent). Cooking in cast iron vessels increases the iron content of foods so cooked has been found to increase by 300 per cent.

Which of these dairy products is the best source of bone-building calcium: Cottage cheese (paneer), yoghurt or skimmed milk?

Cottage cheese or paneer provides maximum calcium, but we must remember that it also has saturated fats. So overall skimmed milk is the healthiest option of the three.

Does ʻorganicʼ and ʻnaturalʼ mean the same, while describing food? ʻOrganicʼ foods are foods that are produced using methods of organic farming – that do not involve modern synthetic inputs such as synthetic pesticides and chemical fertilisers.

The term ʻnaturalʼ does not have a Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

consistent meaning, though this term is applied to many foods that are minimally processed and do not contain hormones, antibiotics, sweetness, food colours or flavourings that were not originally in the food.

However, natural food could be sprayed by chemicals, growth hormones or enzymes.

We all know that the basics of nutrition are, eat five portions of fruits and veggies every day. But this is quite confusing. Is a ʻportionʼ and a ʻservingʼ the same?

This is a good question, most people mistake portion size for serving size. Portion size is the amount you choose to put on your plate while serving size is a standard measurement of your food such as a cup or a tablespoon It is a universally known fact that most of us are very fond of eating ʻchipsʼ, however unhealthy they may be. But if we have to choose between banana, potato and vegetable chips, what according to you would be the most healthy choice?

If you must have chips, I think vegetable chips would be a wise choice. Chips lose their nutrient content because of the high fat value, blame it on deep frying. Fresh fruits and vegetables are of course the best source of fibre. Vegetable chips are definitely better among the options available. They offer the most fibre content and add more vitamins and minerals to your diet – eg. spinach adds fibre and anti-oxidants while carrots contain vitamin A. – Savita Bhargava.

If you have any problem in cooking or kitchen, write to Woman’s Era. We shall try to help you sort it out.

Address your queries to:

WOMAN'S ERA, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg New Delhi-110 055 Click womansera.com to lodge your queries.

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Short Story

The Reunion

Three women living far apart, meeting after 20 years...

By Meera K. Raghunandan

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After a while, when the initial flush of marriage alifornia in May. Mathew, at the reception of subsides, she remembers that her world had been the hotel that I have made my home for the inhabited by more people and tries to invite them past week, says it is fantastic weather. back in. Some walk in, some have moved into their Personally, I think the sun shines a little too own worlds and don’t hop back in that quickly. And brightly in California compared to my place then when the woman becomes a mother, her world back home in India. It gives me a headache, again shrinks to fit only the children. this wonderful weather, but I smile sweetly If the husband is lucky, he finds himself still in the and agree with Mathew. Today is going to be a special day. After all, I am meeting up with Simi and same world. Friends take on a back seat at that point. Oh, I had made friends even at that time of Ananya, my childhood buddies, after two whole my life – other mothers who had children of the decades. I have an appointment in the afternoon at same age group, whom I met in the parks, in parentthe hairdressing salon. I want to look my best for the teacher meetings at school, with whom I shared reunion planned in the evening. I have had a smile concerns of my children’s food intake, school that seems to be permanently plastered on my face activities and such, but never could I bond as I had since the reunion was planned. with my childhood friends. All these years, I My mind races back to when I was an told myself that friendships made in oily braided-haired 10-year-old with not I am the only childhood are the true ones without many friends, other than those that were one who still pretences that will last through for years. forced to be nice to me because they were lives in the And here I am, two decades later, meeting my older sister’s friends. It was at that time same city up with the two girls who were my life and that Ananya joined my class. Shy, simple soul while growing up. How could I not and quiet, she turned out to be the best where we all friend that I ever had. Simi was Ananya’s grew up. Simi have a smile on my face?

I am the only one who still lives in the neighbour and, before we knew it the and Ananya same city where we all grew up. Simi and three of us shared a friendship that now live in Ananya now live in different parts of the became our lifeline during those difficult different parts United States of America. Over the years, growing years. of the United Simi and Ananya had come visiting the city I spent a lovely afternoon pampering several times. Sometimes, they had tried to myself at the salon and going through my States of meet up with me. But somehow, we ended suitcase choosing the dress for the America. up prioritising other things ahead of our evening. It occurred to me how years ago, friendship and letting the magic we used to the three of us did not mind looking our create together die a natural death. We were so worst in front of each other. Hairstyles dreamed up glued to each other till the end of our teen years and by our mothers inspired from the previous century, then moved on to different colleges, cities and lives untidy eyebrows, pimple-filled faces – nothing that didn’t quite intertwine unless we tried to make it seemed to be bad enough to hide from each other. that way. And we didn’t. How easily the girls who Yet years later, looking good in front of the very were each other’s hairstylists, fashion advisers, tutors same girls has become so important to me. of academic and non-academic subjects, counsellors Boy, am I glad to meet Simi and Ananya without and co-conspirators of unspeakable teenage antics, all our children and husbands around? Instead of allowed their special bond to simply vanish. focusing on ourselves, we would be ensuring our And then, years later, thanks to the Internet, we husbands were feeling comfortable with the crowd had each other’s contact details. Quite and the children were behaving appropriately and were eating to our heart’s content. Somehow, I think, unexpectedly, I had to make an official trip to California. And Ananya was passing by California when a woman gets married, her whole world on her way elsewhere and Simi lived right in that shrinks to fit the size of one person – her husband. place. So, here we are on a sunny evening in May, And then, it may expand a bit to fit in her in-laws.

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

Obesity

ROOT CAUSE OF OVER 30 DISEASES! Shed that fat for beauty & health.....Dr Purnima.

Dr. Purnima, Founder-BaroFIT MD, FACOG, DABOM, MTOS

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ccording to the US Center for Disease Control and Prevention, obesity is the number one public enemy. US-based founder of weight management and wellness program, BaroFIT, Dr Purnima answers some questions on obesity and its treatment.

What is obesity?

Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat accumulates to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on oneʼs health, leading to increased health problems and reduced life expectancy. Obesity increases the likelihood of more than 30 diseases such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, hypertension, hyperlipidemia, breathing problems, sleep apnea, certain types of cancer, gallbladder problems, osteoarthritis, and many more.

What causes obesity?

A fast-paced stressful lifestyle with the consumption of high caloric, under-nutritious food containing high levels of saturated fats and sugar coupled with the lack of exercise and genetic susceptibility, have contributed to the rising number of obese and overweight people all over the world. A few cases of obesity are also caused primarily by genes, endocrine disorders, medications or psychiatric illness.

How do we gain excess fat?

The mechanism of excess fat/weight gain is very complex. But simply speaking, all of us burn a certain amount of calories daily just for basic life processes such as digestion, breathing, organ function, etc. Moreover, calories are burnt differently by individuals depending on their physical activities and body composition. When more calories are consumed than are burnt, excess

calories get stored in the body for later use. Our diets these days are caloric-dense and have plenty of saturated fat and simple carbohydrates. This type of diet leads to insulin overproduction and subsequently pancreas dysfunction.

Insulin also causes hypoglycemia leading to the craving for more sweet foods, and it converts carbohydrates into fat for the deposit in fat cells and in organs and blood vessels, etc.

How can we lose excess fat?

Marginal weight-loss can be attained through personal efforts.

However, overweight and obesity are increasingly becoming a concern that requires the intervention of professionals and other service providers. The body stores energy in the muscles as glycogen and as fat in fat cells. When we reduce caloric intake especially by reducing fat and carbohydrate intake, the pancreas does not release insulin, but releases glucagon – a hormone that helps us use glycogen and fat stores.

Says Dr Purnima: Our body is made up of muscles, bones, vital organs, skin and fat. When we gain excess weight, there is only one of these components we worry about gaining in excess – i.e. fat.

Therefore, an effective weight-loss programme should selectively target loss of fat while maintaining other components of our body.

The BaroFIT programme provides a scientific base to help the pancreas release glucagon that burns fat reserves and preserves muscle mass. On this programme the body is capable of burning almost 1500-2000 calories daily from the fat reserves.

BaroFIT consists of FOUR steps S.L.I.M. as follows: Screening is a comprehensive evaluation of the current health status and body composition, including metabolic age. Review of a health profile and some medical tests, a consultation with a physician is

offered. The participant establishes personal fat loss and health goals and we customise the programme to reach these goals.

Loss of fat occurs through the daily consumption of meals adequate in micronutrients and protein. In this step one will follow a reduced caloric - unbalanced meal plan, using adequate protein low carbohydrates with choices such as entrees, vegetables and salads and micronutrients. Average 1-2 kg of fat/weight-loss per week occurs.

Weekly visit to the BaroFIT office to monitor progress and to receive tips and support.

Introduction of a balanced diet and adequate calories is done gradually once the health goal is achieved.

Maintenance is critical to prevent the regaining of fat. Participants will learn how to plan healthy meals on their own, stay active and motivated with ongoing monitoring and guidance provided by the BaroFIT team. We recommend periodic visits to our office to make sure that one has all that is needed to maintain a beautiful and healthy body.

Itʼs about fat loss, not just weight loss.

BaroFIT may accomplish the following: Quick fat/weight loss without sacrificing muscles Utilisation of participant's own fat for energy by day 3 or 4 on the programme Improved energy and appetitecontrol, reduced cravings — usually by day 4 or 5 Health benefits in conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, joint pain, etc.

Education on obesity, body physiology, nutrition, dietary choices, exercises etc.

T-95, CL House, Gulmohar Enclave, Yusuf Sarai, New Delhi-110 049 9015-911-911, 9555-911-911 www.BaroFIT.com info.barofit@gmail.com

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thousands of miles away from where we met and grew up together, trying to recreate the chemistry that we had quite forgotten with time.

Time slips slowly by until evening. I am, as usual, bang on time outside the restaurant that we decided to meet at. There are a million butterflies playing “fly-and-catch” using my stomach as a playground. I know I have done my best to look good and yet I check my reflection for any imperfection. I look up to see Ananya walking towards me. I just keep looking at her with a total loss of words and actions and I suddenly find myself enveloped in a huge warm hug. Unable to speak due to the massive block of stone that my throat has become, I simply return the hug. My eyes fill with tears, but I am not able to bring myself to display any emotion in front of a person whom I knew decades ago. And then, Simi arrives in complete style. Decked out in a red dress that we would’ve ogled out in fashion magazines as teenagers, arriving in a chauffeur-driven Sedan, Simi looks very classy and very unlike the girl I knew decades ago. I rush to hug her, though I am a bit worried about creasing her red dress. After the hugs and settling down at the restaurant, we three who could chatter away into the night and giggle nonstop, now find ourselves at a loss for words.

What can I say to bridge two decades? Do I tell you how I felt when I got my first salary? Do I speak

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about the fear of moving into another household after my marriage? Is it all right to tell you about the delicate relationship that I share with my in-laws?

Oh, what about the delivery of the first child? The pain, agony, the joy – shouldn’t we talk about that?

Or what about the balancing act that we working mothers do? Trying to be the best at all roles – mother, wife, employee, daughter, daughter-in-law?

Should we talk about how insecure we feel about our looks now? About which hair colour would be best suited? Or do I tell you about my back pain?

The one that has been with me ever since I delivered my baby? Hey, maybe we can talk about our paunches – how it is near impossible to have a flat tummy now? Should we talk about how difficult it is to be a friend to our kids? Hey wait, we must talk about the boss in office, right? The one who is ruinning our peace of mind? Or should we discuss the identity crisis that I am going through about the career choice I have made? Would you be interested in hearing about it?

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hen there are so many things to talk about and when there is nothing, conversation generally drifts to the weather. The differences between the weather in the east and west coast of the America and the unpredictability of weather back home is discussed in great detail. The stuff that we talk about seems to be coming out of our resumes.

Married to Mr X. Who works at Company Y. We have kids A and B. They study at the best schools possible. Our parents are fine. Our jobs are great. The very best.

Everything is rosy. Mr X is the perfect guy. Oh, how lucky we all are. How is that cousin of yours?

Oh, perfect. She married Mr Z and they all live happily.

We sip wine with dinner.

I cannot help thinking about the first time we tried to sneak alcohol into Simi’s room.

About how Simi’s expression changed to one of pure horror after her first sip.

About how Ananya was brave enough to ask for the second sip. About how much we were scared out of our wits when Simi’s little sister

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much in common in the past and we centre all our walked in on us and caught us with the drink. About conversation on those long-lost years. the lies that Simi could effortlessly tell her sister and Ananya’s cellphone breaks our nostalgia trip. Her cover up for us. About how much we giggled husband cannot mind her kids any more and asks thinking about this for days together. The highs of her to come back quickly. She cannot focus on any just fooling around together which cannot be conversation any longer. She is brought back from matched up by any wine. Unforgettable. Now, here the carefree years two decades ago to the we are two decades later, all dressed up for dinner responsibility-filled present with only two sentences and drinks. Not half the fun as it was when it was from her husband. We signal for the bill. The forbidden. evening ends with promises. Promises to write more, In those days, only Ananya had a bike. The three meet more often, call more often. Promises to not let of us would squeeze together on it comfortably and years pass before we catch up again. be zooming away. We would chatter on, with the wind in our hair and freedom in our souls. There hough we all say we are thrilled about the was no concern of excessive sun or wind damage. evening, I guess each of us knows that our We were totally happy. And now, our hair perfectly awesome-threesome magic worked in those coloured and done, never stepping out without sungrowing years because we knew every little thing block, here we are discussing weather in the United that was going on with each other. The comfort States of America. levels between us were so high and that didn’t Suddenly, I cannot take this meaningless chit-chat happen because we knew about the major events in anymore. I’ve waited for months to meet up with each other’s lives. It was all about the simple little Simi and Ananya. I’ve waited actually two decades things that we shared that happened to us to simply open out to someone and be every day – a broken nail, a broken heart, myself. Not some one’s employee, not my a fight with someone, a joke, a movie that husband’s wife, not my child’s mother. Just I get back to was liked, a book that was hated, the myself. I always thought it was possible the hotel. hairstyle that didn’t work, the class that was with the two people who knew me as just I feel lucky boring, the cute new neighbour and the me. And so why are we talking like people to have wild rides on the bike. who just happened to meet on a train? My known that I get back to the hotel. I feel lucky to thoughts drift to Vikram. A new boy who have known that kind of friendship and had moved to the neighbourhood when we kind of bonding that made growing up so much were just beginning to like boys. And friendship fun. But there is also a generous mix of Ananya’s heart used to beat extra loud and bonding sadness that we girls had let that wonderful whenever she saw him. We spent days that made magic fade away, with excuses of career, trying to get him to notice her. And finally growing up marriage, distance, time zones and when she spoke to him, she came back so so much fun. motherhood. The evening ends, the magic disappointed. “Oh, he is one of those fades and the curtains come down. The ‘great-from-far-far-from-great’ types of night always makes sadness more person,” she had said. We had spent pronounced for me. I cry myself to sleep. A funny months teasing her about this. Vikram still lives close thing that, a middle-aged woman crying for lost to my house in India and is still the type of person magic, two decades after losing it and in fact, with you want to run away from. The only nice thing no excuses not to have recreated it over the lost about living close to Vikram is that he reminds me of years.

Ananya.

Another May morning in California. Another great-weather-day according to Mathew. The decide to break the unnatural flow of proper talk sadness I felt last night has dimmed. I decide it is between us. I tell Ananya, “Hey, by the way, better to keep the memories alive of my two friends Vikram sends his regards to you! And he is still as I had known them years ago, locked up in my unmarried!” And we just burst into laughter. All right, that means, there’s some hope still left from the head safe somewhere. At times when I feel a little down, I’ll unlock them, let them cheer me up and I’ll evening. Is it the wine, or is it Vikram-talk, I am not sure, but suddenly we are recollecting incidents from lock them up again. I decide to feel thankful for the friendship I had known while growing up, rather our teens. Some funny, some embarrassing, but than fret about losing it. And I decide to hold on to mostly things that make us laugh out loud now. This the relationships that mean a lot to me now. I decide is much better than reading out details from our to never let the magic fade. I decide to open out to resumes. Even if we are not able to share anything new friendships and spin new tales of magic. meaning about our present lives, we have had so We

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

IT’S NOT BEYOND A

GIRLISH GAME Young women are wheeling extra mileage by flaunting stunts on bikes.

By Tapapriya Lahiri

irls staging bike stunts on the tracks or having a kinship for speed and penchant for zipping around on their mean machines, always denotes a jaw-dropping expression rather than a nervesoothing emotion. When our eyes are glued to some action-packed scenes in the movies, we see men performing heavy stunts – falling from a multistoreyed building or jumping off the railway gate to chase a villain.

Besides the overwhelming responses from the audiences while watching thrilling stunts, the young enthusiastic crowds prefers to see the live bike stunts like other sports played in India. To establish a strong foothold of this particular genre of sport in India, organisers, trainers and performers are wheeling out extra mileage to make this sport

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successful, especially for young girls.

Some hand-picked Indian women – especially known as stunt babes – are calling the shots frequently. They have dared to execute bold stunts.

While concentrating on their first obsession, these young girls discard their stereotypical womanish inhibitions. Women are always considered to be fashion buffs experimenting with clothes, jewellery and other feminine matters. But, here we found a different story, where adolescent girls dream of their heavy sports bikes and performing stunts on them.

In a changing scenario, girls are coming out of their sporting closets and exploring the fine nuances of the bike stunts. These stunt queens are leaving no stone unturned to obtain hands-on training and perform better on the track.

It can be astonishing to see a woman do the burnout which means making the Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

rear wheel spin, heating the tyre and produce smoke, pop wheelies – lift the front of the motorcycle off the ground – perform stoppies or lift the rear wheel and pulling off no-handers – hands-free riding.

With the wide acceptance of this particular skill, India has opened up a few new horizons for the aspiring girls. The formation of stunt organisations and teams is gearing up to set new dimensions and to impart right education in the particular genre of sport. In Pune, an all girlsʼ stunt bikers association is making an extraordinary move to achieve fine skills. Apart from these organisations, solo stunt bikers in India are also delivering their exciting performances in the competitions.

The stunt scores: Girls are pursuing their profession at the tender age of their lives which is treated as risky by their families, friends and other acquaintances.

After the tremendous growth in the girlsʼ stunts domain on the overseas tracks, India too is trying to host it 109

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with flair. The Indian girls are continuously honing their skills either by undergoing taxing training or trying stunts through self-teaching methods. To provide a platform to these young stunt people, Indian television channels are opening up ample scope to showcase their talents through stunt reality shows.

Itʼs not only performing stunts, these girls get a chance to interact with the renowned stunt bikers to sharpen their skills.

The MTV stunt mania has taken a good hold on aspiring stunt bikers as well as the viewers. From the reality show, some girls have outshone boys on the track and are gearing up to flaunt their wheels with style with continuous practice. Young women wheeling motor sports, especially in a country like India was beyond oneʼs imagination. But with the changing times, parents have also given their support and participation to chase their dream and make it successful.

To look out for the scoring stunts, these young girls are experimenting with different types of stunts. The freestyle bike stunts are one of the attention seekers amongst the young crowds. The freestyle stunts include wheelie, stoppie, Christ, burnout and compass. To make the buck stop in front of their wheels, these stunt queens prefer to perform stylish stunts making it their forte. To showcase trendy freestyle stunts, they perform the 12 oʼclock wheelie –

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in which the back side of the bike should scrape the ground.

Daunting moto divas: The girlnext-door image of the stunt queens have made them envied in this particular genre of sports. Anam Hashim and Ekta Pannalal are two of the young girls experimenting with and showcasing daunting stunts.

They perform in most of the bike shows in India. Anam Hashim, performing nerve-racking stunts at the tender age of 16, has become a thrilling star to the spectators. Today, Anam is still the youngest known female stunt rider to successfully perform a “Christ”. The moto-lady is fine-tuning her bike skills every day.

She is demo-ing sitdown wheely, half old school wheelie, seat stander wheelie, high chair wheelie, suicide burnout, basic burnout, side skitch, human compass and high chair burnout.

When asked about her excitement before the performance, Anam said, “I have performed in various colleges in Pune, Mumbai, Lucknow, Kanpur, Bangalore, and Goa. The young stunt enthusiasts are great cheerleaders for me. Itʼs an energy provider to me.”

With her favourite sports bike, a Kawasaki ZX-6R-636 in her possession, the teenaged moto-diva, Anam overwhelms with her talent.

The small-town girl from Lucknow is continuously trying to show her mettle by participating in various stunt shows around the country.

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

The stunt monsters ●

Ducati Daivel F4i 01-06 CBR600 ● Kawi-636-03-06 International Scene In the overseas Barcelona, Costa Rica and Indonesia are carrying a legacy of stunt biking over the years. From over the years they have developed their skills on the international track and given bike stunts as recognition of sport.

Mixed bag of stunts Wheelie – is a vehicle manoeuvre in which the front wheel or wheels come off the ground due to extreme torque being applied to the rear wheel or wheels. ●

Stoppie – trick in which the back wheel is lifted and the bike is ridden on the front wheel by carefully applying brake pressure.

Chirst – A stunt performed with the rider standing straight up on the seat or tank of the motorcycle with both arms extended while the bike is in motion.

Ekta Pannalal, a young girl hailing from Raipur, Chattisgarh, is pursuing her dreamt-of passion on bikes. Ekta, in her candid chat with Womanʼs Era said, “When I first saw a man performing stunts on bikes, I asked myself: why canʼt a girl do the same?” Ekta, who foresees owning a Ducati Diavel as one of her favourite stunt bikes, also added, “The stunts I perform are wheelie half hold, human compass one legged, human compass both legged, suicidal burnout, doughnut 360 and chainsaw. All these are life risks— if you fall from a certain level, high chances are there to get hurt. To curb the risk, one should take proper measures before the stunts.

Protective gear—helmets, elbow pads, knee pads, riding shoes and riding gloves—are essential.” Itʼs not only for the guys who can strike a stunt on bikes, but the young girls of our country too have become quite at home with the monster bikes. We

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MONEY MATTERS construction phase. Later, the whole process would become too costly and complicated, too.

Q& A

Is it compulsory to have a woman director on the board of a company? I want to put up my candidature in my firm. The company has a big presence. I am an executive director.

A woman director must be appointed on the board of large listed companies, according to Companies Bill. She can be an executive director, a non-working director or independent director. Hence, you can try for the post.

How much discount can be expected on precious stones, inlaid in gold jewellery? We hear a lot about gold ornaments rebates, but I am curious to know about stones.

When a shop gives discount on stones, you can expect a10 per cent rebate.

Does a green air-conditioner consume low quantity of power?

It consumes less power than a hair dryer.

I want to know whether burglar alarms should be installed, during construction of house or can they be fitted, afterwards?

Burglar alarms must, preferably, be affixed when house is being built.

The devices need wiring and installation, which can be done, in

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We want to buy an inverter, but donʼt like the humming sound of fans and lights, as the generator is switched on.

When you go to shop, ask for a sine wave inverter. Donʼt buy a square wave inverter, as it is noisy and also guzzles more power.

What is silkguard?

Silkguard is a new process, which stops stains (like food) from damaging the velvety apparel. As it is incorporated in the yarn, ask the shop if the fabric has silkguard.

Do beauty parlours have cash instalment schemes? Do elaborate.

Yes, some large beauty parlours have schemes, where you can pay through equated monthly instalment (EMI) method. For example, if five beauty steps like facial, manicure, hair blow dry, waxing and pedicure are done, the whole bill of, say, ` 1,000 can be paid in easy instalments, at your convenience.

And, yes, no interest is charged.

Would the ministry of culture give me scholarship, as I have taken training from a woman music guru? I have not attended any institute, for classes.

You would be glad to know that a guru who gives music lessons is recognised by authorities and a scholarship can be granted.

Can you give a few tips to save LPG, in my kitchen.

Wipe the cooking pan or vessel, Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

before placing it on gas. In this way, 1or two minutes taken by gas stove for evaporating water is saved.

Another way is to microwave the food, till it is in semi-cooked state and then, place it on gas. The time taken for cooking on gas becomes shortened.

If the wife is working, itʼs easy for husband to get a bank loan. But, as I work from home, would a loan be still given?

The bank would grant a loan though you work from home.

E-mail your queries to: money@womansera.com Meenakshi Subramaniam is a former IRS officer, answering all your money queries, right from income tax to supermarket shopping.

Mail your queries to:

WOMAN'S ERA, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg, New Delhi-110055.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS ISSUE? Entertaining, WE is anxious to give you good, interesting and useful material in every issue. It will help us a lot if you let us know which features, stories and articles you like from this issue and which you didn't.

Suggestions for new features and topics are most welcome.

Please address your letters to: WOMAN'S ERA E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.

Womansera.com

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Biplab Rej, a contemporary multi-talented artist. Born in West Bengal, in 1971, 21st oct.

Mr. Biplab Rej is so experimental artist he always like to experiment with his work. He has done experiment with sculpture and installation also. He like to playing with colors from his childhood and winning lots of prizes from that time only. He took his art education from Calcutta and then move to Delhi. In Delhi he have done so many Mural works, paintings, sculptures privately, he also participate in national and International based group/solo show.

At present he is working and enjoying his student works in a prestigious school in Gurgaon. As a H.O.D in art he present and exhibit his work and student work as well.

He have achieved so many Merits and Awards like - All India Camlin Art Teachers Award and recently state awarded from Govt. Of N C T of Delhi for Scratch Painting.

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THE COLOUR’S

CREST

Strokes of experiments and colours.

By Tapapriya Lahiri n experiment leads to innovative creations, and experimenting with versatile art-forms and mediums goes hand in hand with the artist Biplab Rej. Rejʼs experimentation is his forte to sell art. The artist draws extra strokes when it comes to colours.

In fact, colour plays a very important role in Rejʼs painting. His caresses of paintings always have a bright focus on the social issues. Love, hatred, depression and all expressions of human beings are evenly portrayed in Rejʼs works. A childhood passion of colours has initiated the artist to experiment with bold emblazons in his paintings.

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Hailing from Kolkata, he has an immense passion to showcase his creations through all mediums. On this note, Rej said, “I donʼt stick to one medium for my paintings. I have tried and painted in all mediums.” At present, Rej is working and enjoying his studentsʼ works in a prestigious school in Gurgaon. As head of the department, he presents and exhibits his as well as his studentsʼ works.

The artist has earned many accolades for his works. He has bagged the All India Camlin Art Teachers Award. Recently, for a scratch painting, Rej has been awarded by the government of NCT, Delhi. He pursued his art education in Kolkata and then moved to Delhi. In Delhi, he has completed many

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creations apart from painting. He has also created mural works and sculptures. Besides, Rej has also participated in countless national and international exhibitions based on group and solo shows.

Painting is a medium of storytelling. For Rej, a brush is mightier than the pen. While elaborating on the social cause, he said, “Storytelling through a painting is a very creative work. We need not raise our voices and come onto roads to protest. All the art mediums are considered to be platforms for silent protest.” The artist also added, “As my roots are in Kolkata, I always prefer to go back to my city to hold solo and group exhibitions. I keep shuttling between Delhi and Kolkata to hold exhibitions.”

While elaborating on his paintings, he added, “Through a ʻcircle of loveʼ painting, I tried to create a cycle of 120

love. Everybody on this Earth wants to be in a cabinet of love and affections. The feeling and desire of love is portrayed through two dogs.”

According to him, his contemporary art says a lot to the society. Through his art he wants people to recognise that the time is very important in oneʼs life. “In all my paintings time plays a very important role. The painting of the wired man, which I wanted to depict in a way, Woman’s Era

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that he was unaware of time while he was involved in addiction. He was unable to feel the loss that he has done to himself. He lost precious time of his life. This is how I framed time in my painting.”

While elaborating on his painting, Rej enunciated, “I like to research on different art mediums. My works are a product of never-ending research. I try to produce a bold composition of paintings.

The bold composition includes the struggle of relationships, shadows, brightness and the bitterness of life always leaving a hint in my paintings.”

The hushed protest for a social cause is the forte of the artist. “There are umpteen paths to protest, for our society and my paintings demand a keen eye to understand the message behind the portrayal.”

The love, pain, hatred and distress deserve a stroke of colours to We capture oneʼs mind.

JOKES Teacher: Kumar, I believe you copied off Gopal in the examination!

Kumar: How can you tell, sir?

Teacher: Wherever Gopalʼs written “I donʼt know” next to a question, you have put a neither do I”!

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An applicant is filling out a job application. when he comes to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” he answers “No”. The next question inten ded for people who have answered in the affirmative, is “Why?” the applicant writes, “Never got caught.”

– G. Anand Jobar, Pudhucherry.

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Boss: If you could have a con ver sation with someone living or dead, who would it be?

Applicant: “The living one!”

– G. Priya Jobar, Pudhucherry.

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Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

NEED FOR KIDS TO BE ROUGH AND TOUGH NO SERIOUS KIDDING

This refers to the article No Serious Kidding in July I issue.

The article rightly raises question on the rationality of the new trend in education system. To do away with the negative remarks, markings, rankings and pointing out weak nesses in kids is more about preparing them to a stress-free, competition-less world that does not exist at all. The primary purpose of teaching is to make a kid ready to face this complex world when he grows up. If we try to hide the weaknesses and keep each child at par with other he will never be able to realise his capabilities and hence to choose even a right career for himself. Reaching the stage when he will have to face that competitive world, where to survive one has to be the fittest, he may fail and just because he has never experienced the pain of failure, he may go mad and at last commit suicide. Todayʼs life is very difficult. The demand of the hour is to raise our kids rough and tough, able to face any situation with courage, not delicate, timid and submissive. The weaknesses and failures need to be handled wisely not indiscreetly, so that when the child grows up, at least, he has no misconception about his own capabilities. After all, strengths and weaknesses both are the part of life.

– Smita Sinha, Mumbai. to deal with Ideas on how the grade. making children not By Kasturi Rangachari

Woman’s

– TALKINGMEDICINE! THE BEST parents and hari chement with Rangac It builds rapprotheir children. By Kasturi sexually being in as a young confidence our papers and I remember several times coach; by ya, harassed for school hockey ost-Nirbha are full of would wait girl. By our channels horrific TV news a cycle who morning the most a man on for my early to the stories of has led me to leave rapes. This saying that Rape foreign press become the has It India has the world.

Capital of our more some of and also led politicians garrulous seem to who don’t godmen – – to behave they speak old in the good think before were rare blame as if rapes and to “Bharat” freedom for days in and increasing for this modernity the reasons ns. women as in molestatio sudden increase is that, the world t of women But the truth harassmen India over, sexual It didn’t start in new. leave off is nothing began to when womenand to enter the their veils Here, just as in . it has workplace on Earth, it every country Secondly, the always existed. that possible and is of rape incidence t hasn’t sexual harassmen more really increased to ately than proportion in increase the today. It is population it is just that possible more being covered by the media.

P

THE HARASSMENT GIRLS FACE

I read the article Talking the Best Medicine by Kasturi Rangachari in July II, issue. Nirbhaya was just one of the thousands of innocent girls across the country, who was so ruthlessly raped. Many families do not even report it to the police out of fear of the familyʼs reputation or any other reason. But at least as compared to some years ago, people have gathered the courage to make the incidents come to the knowledge of the public.

Recently I had been to Singapore and many girls were dressed in shorts, but I never came across any guy staring or passing any comments on any girl. In India, it is because of illiteracy that some people have such bad mentality.

Nearly every girl faces some or the other type of harassment when they are young till they cannot stand up for themselves. But a girl can have the courage to stand up for herself only if she has a strong parental support, especially from her mother because she can share every detail with her mother more easily.

For a mother to share every detail, she has to be a good friend of her daughter right from the beginning. If a mother works, she can opt for a parttime job so that she can spend some quality time with her kids and befriend them right from when they are very young.

Today, TV, mobiles, computers, tablets have become a necessity but we can cut down on them a little just for the sake of the family.

– Mamta Bandi, Indore.

nt in its wisdom he governmethat children are even has decided failure and scared by ns in which it has by competitio shine. So they do not children in the decided that should not primary classesor ranks and marks in be given be kept back should never are a class. that they if This means next class even the to promoted every subject. poor in is suggested they are s evaluation in the and even Continuou classes too no marks are for higher exams, has 10th standard that one child than another. given showing or worse done better are all given grades. be to they seems t Instead governmen What the are no poor this that there saying is badly in class for If kids do or students. of poor teaching reason is because reason. For this some other should not be pointed then es weakness they could because should out to kids . And they fail a get complexesbe allowed to not definitely class.

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EDITORIA

Era ● July

L

(First) 2013

banks in Swiss stashed away a year ago, it Hardly the money 9000 crore. crore. How has this rounds that down to ` of lakh especially has come into hundreds politicians, in their Have our was running FOR UPA UPA decline come?got a surging patriotism poll-bound high dramatic for the its ruling class, in the from the good news hoping to hard-sell into India not. that t is no is ent survey being rerouted Most of this hearts? Certainly nt which money is unemploym 2011-12 after hawala. governme these A special In fact, this in also throughthe NCR where growth record.itself commissioned a dramatic dip in FDI and into the FDI guise of nt . So, while being pumped nt rate in survey, showed the governme properties not translating into money is five-yearly that employme have huge , it is rising in 2011-12 the regular The survey shows politi cians per cent to be increasing more jobs, hence money job creation. has slipped to 38.6 2004-05, when the (bogus) seems economy and In much of this 42 per better the country rate was creating a rest assured, hordes of bouncers cent in 2009-10. nt per And ent. employme from 39.2 unemploym in the elections, whento influence the voters charge, the d rose to used UPA took ying our leaders of unemploye Also the will be cent. years. will be accompan power. all. The number AGE just two in the This is not their muscle MARRI 98 lakh in has fallen sharply with OF from ON other said created 1.08 crore crore. In Court has new jobs to just 2.7 CONSUMMATI e youth that number of Madras High employabl from six crore to verdict, the not necessarily mean last five yearsthe number of educated being created did n a recent to the marriage are nt had a valid marriage pertaining d. For words, while , not enough jobs that rites governme The tly solemnise is increasing all the customary of their skill. special survey, and subsequen should be placed followed for the poor g the one-off take advantage Hearing legal aspects are to be slowdown conductin g a wedding,the customary aspects. was proposed post-Lehman global Maybe it should not solemnisin scale than woman whose husband not his blaming the the 2009-10 survey. more critical higher A a on she was worse. in a by a Muslim from the claiming have got numbers a petition over 18 had the numbers market has come engaged pay her alimony a woman have – as labour refusing to C.S. Karnan said if and became of workers of over 21 to be shift in India’s with the numberbelow 50 per cent wife, Justice with a man had every right sector mean dipping not relations she agriculture sexual d activities this dip does in other in the process birth However, in farm-relate pregnant engaged in the ‘live workforce. his wife. a the overall labours have been had signed considered consent for the man like given his these farm schemes In this case, act he had child and this activities. rural employment in second With his productive of labourers t-run report’ of of its birth. shortage on n section she was his wife.

It is governmen rural labour created a Caesarea that wrong debate to which has In these schemes, started a Even when MNREGA sector. officially admitted little work. people have well-nigh impossible under which the agriculture wages doing a Now, some it is registered why with daily maintain relations same labourers gets their change s. Then a sexual rape. They work these any physical where who had ent allowance In fact, our there is no determine men hardly undergo work? get unemploym rape cases, s MNREGA care to do any otherschemes to fill their Barring some women themselve woman, as these the has been would they such relations.for examination, them, misused to after workforce have collected . According after politicians s of bogus out. semen is possible only Thousand all such evidences would be money siphonedof freebies driven coffers. wash out paper and medical proofand has a child. distribution socialistic shown on together for reality is that culprit is the guide large-scale ive gets pregnant couple had lived The other that Unproduct deserted woman the policies case, the the man tight fresh investors. by populist In the present1994 to 1999 when too, born out of g a very scaring away nt. from more spending environme while maintainin five years They have two children, has given business we high court fiscal expansionhas stifled the given its high while the woman. policy p. Thus, the tial evidence and is running oil and gold monetary about living their relationshi budget deficit crore on It is more to the circumstan brought in this The current spend USD 2000 and has The man of the woman. to the weightage for relations. in favour continue has weakened only thing Court just The The rupee and ruling having physical imports.

Congress in its wake.it has created debt together thanapproach the Supreme a veteran inflation be is that may for such more y, just like verdict must nt has done people who vote has to pay case it indefinitel did. The rights. governme The women’s Dutt Tiwari that someone to increase prolonging We given freebies. is leader Narayan umbrella for protecting mansera.com t don’t understand of the hour who legal governmen The need not those write to: letters@wo seen as a freebies. people and for these of earning is doing its the number freebies. more news depend on front, one (First) 2013 Era ● July On the economic Woman’s

BLACKLASH

I

A PERTINENT QUESTION

Refer to the editorial Consummation of Marriage July I, 2013.

After the observation by the apex court that a man and a woman living together without getting married could not be construed as an offence, the ruling of the Madras High Court going a step further contending that unmarried couple having attained legal age indulging in sex could be termed as I

6

Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

husband and wife if the woman conceives and delivers a child. It comes as a breather to such women who are deserted by men but for the majority of Indians who believe in sanctity of marriage, the order comes as a bolt from the blue because it undermines the social and ethical aspects of marriage which binds a man and a woman together as per traditions and law. Though the High Court has come to this conclusion based on the petition filed by a Muslim woman deprived of alimony by her husband and taking into account another case where the man deserted the woman after begetting two children from their live-inrelationship, it has only generated furore among people due to deviation of culture and traditions of our 5000year old civilsation and the sacred institution of marriage which is the bedrock of our society.

As many feel that verdict of the court is unwarranted because it encourages live-in-relationship and premarital sex which is not only a social taboo but shatters public morality, giving rise to chaos in the society. Further live-in-relationship and premarital sex have done more harm in the West. Indian society frowns on such unhealthy practices even though the present ruling of the Madras High Court gives protection to women, and children born out of wedlock.

– R. Srinivasan, Secunderabad.

AN EYE-OPENER FOR FILM ENTRANTS It was heart wrenching to hear about the tragic suicide of the up-andcoming heroine Jiah Khan (June II) despite the fact that she was highly educated. Education is supposed to enhance the confidence of women to face any situation. Jiahʼs passion for her film career is noteworthy but she had taken an extreme step due to her unhappy relationship with Sooraj. Her career which was not up to her satisfaction is also pointed as another 129

reason. Girls who enter the tinsel industry with great drea ms should have patience and perseverance enough for their worth to be recognised. Her tragic end is an eyeopener for other girls who want to enter the film industry.

– G. Indira, Bangalore.

L EDITORIA

totally e which is is such an degree programm people. It to chaotic four-year action of some one more year arbitrary will add burden based on change that adding more C DESPOTI infrastructural uate studies thereby students and their Y AND the s, its belt to the undergrad and finances of ARBITRAR tightened s on admission degree (DU) has graduate on the labour have grave implicationBut still it is being elhi University also.

It will impose, four-yearJuly. The interview for doing impose, yes daily parents. and career prospects any necessity coming e from the gave to an English the tutorials on DU without feeling programm ellor of DU disaster in imposed when establi imminent decisions, groud work. that the vice-chanc s and towards an attitude indicates VC proper informal and arbitrary serious discussion true His arrogant clearly indicates what the the Such replace education.

From deride and to that also. begin values, use field of higher obvious e changes shed as decisions n, ultimately it becomes some unwelcom deep an outcome participatio Such arbitrary the interview degree course is change of wider system into their c spirit. said in a push the that n of four-year ate alacrity. It is for democrati c ways and have no concernPigs’ and introductio university akers inappropri democrati Indian and The decision-m students ‘Guinea Just think of informal being imposed in any system. make the of the trouble. its own kind four or five the decision and action may lished university well-estab DU decides, the first time.this change will affect destroy a if the same higher education on system?

Certainly happen depends regarding original will the they take that ultimately it will also what later, to revert to students THE BLUES career prospects Not only this, of years NAVY IN hence their higher education. coastal and duration of and guard the wrong the nature the quality ought to on the which a large extent,postgradu ate studies but to caught affect, have ndian Navy India has been that they uate and not only in Delhi University s of officers rue undergrad . boundarie terms, wife s being done of some navy In simple the blueresearche universities and institutions foot. Wives husbands to note that of wife swapping. on wives among It is done also in other It is interesting was first tabled become victims exchange of wife. change means But who cares? academic from other’s wife he is swapping proposed of the DU’s Vice sure whose is taken seeking pleasure print of this 2012 at a meeting no one is simply for called ‘special’. he of lot and ly no consent the night 24 December meeting was the proposal like the draw Surprising spend That it sleep with. forced to prior to making students, their council. going to are thus at all. In fact, at r says that s with These wives who they may not like Chancello exists from the lengthy discussionchosen casually.played a or men Europe and s had had with strangersfrom mediavel feudal well as teachers held discussion to freely parents as have conclusion is a tradition as a remnant. informal and of our Navy at the final courses. an allegedly places ic male officers pleasure in in arriving degree ly some crucial role impose, four-year But the chauvinist just for sensual tasks too. fast. Immediate nay important r task tradition moved very introduce, revived the which has many other the things meeting, a 61-membe met the Union y n Thereafter preliminar council has recently is going on organisatio months, women at what academic two of him of such . Within after the A group e was presented constituted and apprised programm council. force was against defence minister of the proposed of the academicjust a few to take action may blueprint with them. assured them a practice special meetingwas made public chance for minister has perspective such another large little up The blueprint the puts , In wider s. Navy meeting leaving What is more Surprising join its their men. the special properly. ng implication d youth to the ‘raw’ days before to go through it But such have far-reachi inviting able-bodie approved ents a noble way. the members academic council all the ways advertisem nation in plugging , the of serve the them. vote thus may surprising itself, heads of force and with a majority In the meeting eeking officers s may scare process proposal happening this. Such pleasure-s subordinates and wide debate. initiate the when the for a nation were asked to of their Not only the entire days. But in the eyes to chaos in depart ments curricula within 15 It may lead letters demanding lose respect how terrorists lower levels. framing new they were sent ‘hard’ already seen marines at out Mumbai We have the and carried HODs refused, issue, as it shows naval defence. to enter India n. from morality alarming, route he terms explanatio ellor. Still used sea alacrity is Hence, apartinvolved. Such practice s, Such an on 26/11.

DU vice-chanc discussion is also first. attack democratic ways of the comes country fact, of the . In despotic the country mansera.com We defence of e as a product n of all concerned of firmly, for the programm write to: letters@wo must be curbed well-laid process a wider participatio 7 is no of already based on circle. There be a substitute the academic being thrown into it cannot in a change is now initiating University (First) 2013 the Delhi Era ● June doubt that Woman’s

D

I

130

AN ANOMALY This refers to your editorial Arbitrary and despotic in WE, June I issue. You have aptly

referred to the recent action of the Delhi University (DU) Vice Chancellor as tyrannic in so far as he has encroached upon the academic freedom/system and was responsible to bring about a major change in the same for the first time by extending the term of degree course from the prevailing 3-year to 4-year, which per se, seems not only obnoxious and unpalatable for the students and their parents but also for the teaching community who have as a result to collectively bear the brunt of such a hasty and abrupt anomaly that sets in the academic ensemble of the university.

The decision taken by virtue of authority vested in him as the academic and administrative head of a prestigious university in the country does not augur well at the very instance of convening a meeting of the academic council followed by a special meeting of the heads, inasmuch as the matter pertains to the well-being of a number of enrolled students and their future careers and as such this kind of move proposed for an effect right from this academic year is undemocratic as it does not go hand in hand with the whims of all those concerned with the academic participation and planning/ programming.

What is more ironic in making such a change in the academic schedule of the degree course is the fact that neither the UGC nor the State government was consulted or taken into confidence and the decision was suo moto of the VC at the helm and he seemed to have acted against the protocol. As the implications associated with the implementation of this newly proposed academic change at the degree course are far reaching, complex and complicated in the very nature of reshaping of the system of education.

A second thought should be given by the VC and the new formulations at this academic level should be allowed to percolate through proper channels in order to find formal acceptance of all those who are Woman’s Era ● August (First) 2013

known to oppose this new formula tooth and nail.

– Bh. Indu Sekhar, Hyderabad.

UNDERSTANDING TEENS

the to be terrified s announce t’s natural your teen it’s moment love but she is in love is that he or Teenage futile to panic. parents we expect as to normal and don’t know how You it, but often happens. it when it ate deal with this as inappropri might see child it is as real an but for your loving his or her as emotion friends. have family and say that they we When children as parents a celebrity bly. A crush a crush on unreasona for seldom react strong feelings to feelings is also having get wanting those desire to someone, ed and a we be reciprocat person. However, that usually oneclose to any crushes are not have know that so we do child’s feelings. sided and on about our reservation the celebrity appears go In fact when in the papers we a or child have television let our same ahead and it’s not the them. But have of glimpse love. Parents with real-time ns and have strong this. Teens their reservatio logic behind you trust reasons and d that time understan the same need to you are at them but and them. protecting in yore, parent Today, unlike ation is open and for child communic feel strongly their when children often confide in they as a someone, good. But the which is close all parents, you now ation end parent do communic in on doors? Does children let you you your here after biggest truth? Do and stop their lives’ their freedom Or do you curtail all thereon? to trusting themtrust your children you to confide in continue will they ensure that in future too?some things you should Here are do. and shouldn’t by tely: Start e manner.

React appropria in an appropriat top and scold reacting blow your forbid you or Before them indoors or girl i boy them, cage seeing the one simpl them from ask yourself child don question, has your Robb, th question: wrong? Jean something Enjoy Your Teenage of abo co-author of worrying ys that instead

I

The article What to do when your Teen Falls In Love in May I issue was a real TEENS FALL guidance to the IN LOVE parents. This topic which needs an open discussion between children and parents is mostly ignored by both because of shyness.

If the bonding between you and your child is strong enough and if you always show your trust in your child, he/she will reciprocate in the same manner. I suppose parents should remain prepared to face this situation as the child reaches teenage. So it can happen only when the parents can help their children to deal with their infatuation.

The tips given in this article are valuable. They will definitely help many parents to change their views regarding this issue.

Keep up the good work by publishing more guidance on such less-talked-about topics.

– Dr Shipra Batra, WHAT TO YOUR DO WHEN

Guidance

on how to

guide them.

The prize is awarded to: Smita Sinha, Mumbai

WOMAN'S ERA invites readers’ opinions and reactions on articles, short stories and features published in Woman’s Era. The best letter will be given a prize of Rs 500. Address your letters by E-mail to: letters@womansera.com or by post to: AS YOU SAY E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.

Womansera.com Name: Mobile: E-mail:

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