The official publication of women of faith
SUMMER 2009
magazine
song by song:
A Conversation with Mandisa Become the Girlfriend You’ve Always Wanted to Have
my real
friend
Love Lessons from a Tough Tabby
A Letter From Mary I twitter. That probably needs explaining. Twitter is a social networking site that allows one to stay connected with friends, family, and total strangers here, there and around the world. The Twitter.com site enables anyone to join the conversation and answer the simple question, “What are you doing?” The question can be answered as often as one likes. As long as someone is registered on the Twitter site, and has decided to ‘follow’ you, they can see your answer. And they, in turn, answer the same question. If you’re following them, you’ll see their answer. The only limit? You can only use 140 characters in each “tweet.” Our little Women of Faith community has a LOT of Twitterers, and I love that. For example, I love hearing Sheila’s quirky, funny updates. Even though I’m in pretty close contact with Sheila, I “hear” tweets from her several times a day. I don’t mind that 5,000 people are in on the conversation as well; that doesn’t diminish my joy in relating to her so consistently. And I could go on and on. We are wired to connect. We were created for relationship. We long for strong personal bonds with people. God made us that way on purpose. He LONGS to have a relationship with us. Long before technology serviced that need for humanity, He’s wanted to stay in close touch with us . . . all day every day. Although He knows what I’m doing, His desire is for me to talk with Him about it. Connection is the name of the game. Our relationship with God is—or should be—an ongoing connection, as well. I can constantly check in and touch base with Him with my thoughts, feelings, decisions, and so on. I don’t have to wait until I have time for a long drawn-out conversation, I can send up a quick tweet to let Him know what I’m up to and that I’m thinking about Him. When I’m paying attention, I notice He frequently responds with little messages of His own. Try it! Go ahead, you can do it right now. Then keep your eyes open for loving “tweets” from God to you.
In His Love for You,
Mary Graham, President Women of Faith, Inc. P.S. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/womenoffaith twitter.com/marygraham Your Current Discount Code: WFADC49
Mission Statement: We are a membership organization of women from all denominations, nationalities, age groups, and backgrounds. We strive to enrich women’s lives by encouraging them with God’s love and His message of hope: equipping them with resources for their lives; creating community with other members; and giving them the opportunity to give of themselves to those who are in need.
Executive Editor Mary Graham Managing Editor Susan Ellingburg Circulation Marilyn Lee Layout & Design Amy Holt Connection Administrator Jackie Bolden In This Issue: Allison Allen Cathi Bobbitt Patsy Clairmont Susan Ellingburg Mary Graham Natalie Grant Lisa Harper Benita Long Max Lucado Marilyn Meberg Lisa Whittle Copyright 2009, Women of Faith, Inc. Connection Magazine is published by Thomas Nelson Live Events, 820 W. Spring Creek Parkway, Suite 400, Plano, TX, 75023. This publication may not be reproduced by any means without written permission of the publisher. Publication of advertising does not necessarily constitute endorsement. Ideas expressed in articles are the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of Women of Faith or Thomas Nelson, Inc. The editorial staff accepts no liability for any errors of commission or omission. Women of Faith events are a production of Thomas Nelson Live Events. Unless otherwise noted, books quoted in this issue are published by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Send your letters, comments, and questions by email to editor@thomasnelsonlive.com. Please include your first and last name, address, and daytime phone number. Letters chosen for publication may be edited for length and style.
Come to the Table
From Our Cover
14 18
My Real Friend .................................................................. 6 Natalie Grant
A Conversation with Mandisa
COLUMNS
In the Wings ............................................................................... 5 Allison Allen
Song by Song: .................................................................. 18
Ask Marilyn ............................................................................... 9
Become the Girlfriend You’ve Always Wanted to Have ................................................ 20
Deeper Connection: One of Life’s Greatest Gifts ........ 12
A Conversation with Mandisa Lisa Whittle
Marilyn Meberg
Women of Faith Bible Study
Love Lessons from a Tough Tabby............................. 26
Come to the Table: Friends ................................................. 14
FEATURES
Shine the Light: Pat Ackerman .......................................... 28
Lisa Harper
Fresh Oxygen ..................................................................... 7 Patsy Clairmont
Irish Blessing .................................................................... 10
Remember When Friends .............................................. 11 Susan Ellingburg
Fear of Not Mattering ............................................ 24 Max Lucado
Benita Long
Cathi Bobbitt
IN EVERY ISSUE On Our Nightstand ................................................................... 4 Wrap It Up ................................................................................ 29 Women of Faith Online ........................................................ 30 Member Benefit Bulletin ..................................................... 30
table of contents Love Lessons from a Tough Tabby
One of Life’s Greatest Gifts
26 12
On Our Nightstand the noticer
By Andy Andrews A new story of common wisdom from the bestselling author of The Traveler’s Gift. Like all humans on the planet, the good folks of Orange Beach have their share of problems—marriages teetering on the brink of divorce, young adults giving up on life, business people on the verge of bankruptcy . . . Fortunately, when things look the darkest, a mysterious man named Jones has a miraculous way of showing up to share what he calls “a little perspective.”
put your dream to the test
By John C. Maxwell What’s the difference between a dreamer and someone who achieves a dream? According to best-selling author Dr. John Maxwell, the answer lies in answering ten powerful, yet straightforward, questions. Whether you’ve lost sight of an old dream or you are searching for a new one within you, Put Your Dream to the Test provides a step-by-step action plan that you can start using today to see, own, and reach your dream.
Plain perfect
By Beth Wiseman After years of neglect and abuse, Lillian is turning to a lifestyle of simplicity among the Amish to find herself. As she discards the distractions of her former life, she befriends a young boy and his attractive widowed father, Samuel. Despite Lillian’s best efforts to the contrary, her feelings for Samuel—and his for her—deepen. Will Lillian find her faith in plain living, or will she be forced to return to her former life?
in the shadow of the sun king
By Golden Keyes Parson By order of King Louis XIV, all French Protestants must immediately convert or face imprisonment—or death. However, Madeleine holds a secret—one possible chance to save her family. She and the king share a past. Madeleine travels to Versailles to plead for mercy from the fickle king, hoping to regain his favor and save her family. It’s a gamble, but she is left with no other choice. Madeleine soon faces an agonizing decision—one that changes her family forever.
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how noah knew what to do
By Karen Ann Moore Children are often afraid to try something new. This story will show them how they can trust God to help them do what they need to do—just like He did Noah. Even though Noah wasn’t a veterinarian (or even a ship builder), he listened to God and trusted Him to help him build the ark and fill it with animals. A fun way for children to learn they can rely on God in every situation, even when they’re doing something they’ve never done before.
ANSWERED PRAYER
In the Wings
by Allison Allen
“This is our God, working in the wings” Somewhere in a southeastern city a girl prays a prayer. It’s not a prayer of desperation, or even a plea, really—it’s just a simple request of a daughter to her Heavenly Father. She won’t be heart-broken if God chooses, for some reason, not to answer it in the affirmative. She’ll just be awfully glad if He does. I could tell you the prayer, but then you’d know the end from the beginning, and our story would be wrapped up in just one paragraph. (Talk about a short story!) So, the girl—a young woman, really—attends the Women of Faith event in Atlanta in the fall of 2008. By all accounts, she loves the event and leaves full of all the things that only God can provide. After the closing song, she hops in a well-worn car, along with a friend, and begins the long trek home. As she rolls over the blacktop of Georgia’s highways, she still has that unanswered prayer tucked somewhere in her heart. On the same interstate, maybe an exit or two away, my husband and I are also in a car, desperately on the look-out for gas. Even though Jonathan and I have enough fuel to make it home to Franklin, Tennessee, our five friends, who have come to the event as well, do not. So, we dash off the road, scouting for stations that have not run out of gas. As soon as we find a possibility, we call our friends with the information. You see, in the fall of 2008, a mini-fuel shortage visited the southeastern states after a hurricane hit Galveston. All over Georgia that Saturday afternoon people were looking for gas for friends and families. I could tell you that this . . . this fanning out of worker bees, looking for sustenance, is the theme of this month’s installation of “In the Wings.” It’s certainly a picture of God’s behind-the-scenes work, and a modernday metaphor of how we are supposed to operate as the Body of Christ. But remember the girl and the prayer? That’s the story we’re following. God is working in the wings, and she doesn’t even know it . . . yet. On one of the off-ramps on yet another scouting mission, Jonathan nods toward a well-worn car and says, “I think they’re Women of Faithers.”
“How come?” I ask. “Well, they’re signing to each other.” (We have wonderful hearingimpaired friends, as well as committed interpreters, who attend our events.) “They have an out-of-state plate, and I don’t know, I just think they’re from the event.” My husband also points out that they have a flat tire, dark is coming on, and they might be running out of gas. He’s concerned . . . so we follow them, until we both pull into a gas station. As we all get out of our respective cars, the young woman, the prayer blooming in her heart, begins to grin. As Jonathan sets off to fix their tire, the young woman begins to sign passionately to her friend, who serves as her interpreter. Her friend turns to me, and says, “She says she prayed before she came to the event that she would be able to meet just one of the porch pals in person. It didn’t happen at the event, but it’s happening now.” We smile. We laugh. We hug. There, where no one can see, we are the evidence that God is never doing just one thing. He is always at work in unseen places—using flat tires and gas shortages. This is our God, working in the wings.
Allison Allen Allison is now in her third
year as a Women of Faith dramatist; this season she’s performing two original pieces. From her auspicious debut as a bovine in kindergarten to “Grease” on Broadway, Allison has been honored to have spent a life in the performing arts. She is thrilled to be the wife of Jonathan and the mother of Levi. Copyright Allison Metcalf Allen/Love is Served 2009. All rights Reserved.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~5
Tales from the Porch
My Real Friend Jesus said, “I have called you friends.” John 15:15 I can’t begin to tell you how freeing it was when I first embraced Jesus Christ as my real Friend. For so long, he was simply a gigantic idea to me. Although I believed them to be true, the unfathomable images of Savior, Redeemer, and the ultimate sacrifice for mankind made God so big in my mind that what I knew of him didn’t translate to what was going on in my everyday life. I had always been told of God’s great love, and somewhere inside I believed it. But what completely melted my heart, what completely liberated me from choking insecurity, wasn’t just the truth that Jesus loved me— but that Jesus liked me. He LIKED me! Exactly as I was. Jesus had long been my Redeemer, but when I accepted him as my real Friend and began living like he was my Friend, my true healing began. I was ready to discover the truth of who I am without the masks, without the pretense, without the charade. Knowing and understanding Jesus as my Friend helped me see myself in a new light: the security I found in my relationship with him helped me open the door of possibility and see a glimpse of the person I could be. Natalie Grant has become the most-played female artist on Christian radio, 4-time GMA Female Vocalist of the Year and a household name—but it hasn’t gone to her head. Being mom to twin daughters, Grace and Bella, helps keep Natalie grounded. So does her work with The Home Foundation, an organization she created in 2005 to raise awareness and financial support for the rescue of children forced into the sex trade. Natalie, husband Bernie Herms, and their twins live in Tennessee. Excerpted from A Grand New Day © 2008 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used with permission. All Rights Reserved.
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Tales from the Porch
Fresh Oxygen Sometimes what I need most is to plug into others. My girlfriends are a lifeline. Yes, they can contribute to some of my emotional knots, but more often than not they resuscitate me. Here are some of the ways I’ve received fresh oxygen from my friends:
• • • •
riends help us think. They often bring a different F perspective that opens up a new view. Friends help us hear our inconsistencies and pinpoint blind spots. I’m not suggesting that’s fun, but it’s valuable. riends help pull us out of small spaces. Even when they share F their struggles, it can give our fears wings as we realize that we’re not alone in our emotional complexities. riends rally when the winds of hardship bluster across F our paths.
• Friends believe in us. They applaud our gifts, and they celebrate our good fortune.
• Friends aren’t perfect and may not be forever. My caution
would be not to expect more of a friend than she can give. My expectations have been too high at times, and that only leads to disappointment, ill will, and exhaustion.
As a child, Patsy wanted to be a cowgirl or a dancer but never imagined she’d wind up speaking to thousands of women each year. Patsy lists her family as “husband Les, sons Marty and Jason, daughter-inlaw Danya, grandsons Justin and Noah. Grand-dog, a Jack Russell Terrier, Cody (who jumps higher than I am tall).” They live in Michigan except during the cold winter months when she and Les live in Texas, near most of her porch pals. Excerpted from A Grand New Day © 2008 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used with permission. All Rights Reserved. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other. —Ecclesiastes 4:9–10
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~7
Ask Marilyn By Marilyn Meberg
you gave her and that puts you at risk of being arrested for breaking and entering—definitely not worth it. But back to the issue of your question as to whether you should or should not “say something.” Since she is your closest friend, I am going to assume you have a fairly harmonious history and have had other occasions to experience hurt feelings with each other. What have you done with those feelings in the past? You state clearly what happens between people when a grievance is not resolved: it grows and grows inside until there is a full size airbag separating you. Would you rather not confront the hurt you feel and silently feel the airbag continue to expand? If you want to deflate the bag, words are your best option.
Question: I have always thought the whole “regifting” thing was kinda funny and maybe even OK. Now I don’t think it is funny or even OK because it happened to me and has really hurt my feelings. My closest friend gave me a battery powered pepper grinder for my birthday. Of the many things this friend and I have in common, one is a love of big, chunky pepper on favorite foods. When I opened the gift, there in the box was the very pepper grinder I had given her for Christmas. I couldn’t believe it. I acted pleased and said all the appropriate things but I can’t seem to shake my feelings about this. I don’t want to risk hurting our friendship by saying anything but by not saying anything I find myself increasingly reserved with her. This whole thing seems stupid but it keeps growing bigger and bigger inside of me. Should I say something or, as my husband says ‘grow up and shut up.’ Answer: I have to admit “grow up and shut up” might be a money-maker for a card company. It has an unmistakable ring to it. However, it’s pretty cranky, and I certainly don’t think you deserve such crabby advice. (Perhaps we can discuss how you communicate empathy another time.) Just one tiny question: how can you be sure the grinder she gave you is the same one you gave her? Might they simply look alike because they are made by the same company? But actually, that really isn’t the issue here and short of sleuthing through her kitchen in the dead of night in an effort to find out if she no longer has the grinder
On the other hand, I have a very close friend who absolutely cannot bear confrontation. I have to either decide the issue does not merit a confrontation, deflate the airbag by myself and move on with life or say, “Baby...we simply have to talk about the pepper grinder.” If I decide to use words, it is my responsibility to use them wisely and with non-accusatory diplomacy. I don’t want to be so diplomatic she doesn’t have a clue what I’m saying but the truth does not have to hurt if it’s said gently. Now permit me to slip on my “shrink wig” for a second. Ask yourself why you feel personal hurt by the possibility of your friend’s regifting. If the hurt had a voice, what would it say to your friend? Perhaps the following words might be used: “You don’t care enough about me to buy me a gift. I’ve often felt I cared more for you than you care for me. I think I spend more on gifts for you than you spend on gifts for me. Sometimes I think I spend more so you will think I’m worth keeping as a friend. When you don’t even bother to buy me a gift, I feel I don’t matter. And as long as ‘shrink Meberg’ is listening, I think I’ve always felt afraid I didn’t matter.” The bottom line, Sweet Baby, is there is always a tale behind the feelings we have. That feeling leads to the various tales in our life story. Perhaps your tale has many instances of insecurity and uncertainty with the people you love. If that is true, it will be good for you and your friendship to understand the root of your hurt may be deeper than a pepper grinder. Marilyn has been enlightening, encouraging, educating, and entertaining Women of Faith audiences since we began. But don’t worry—she still has plenty of wisdom and fresh insight to share! This year she shares the stage with Sandi Patty and Steve Arterburn (and sometimes Henry Cloud) at the Friday Feature. The parent of two and proud grandmother of two more, Marilyn is originally from the West Coast, but now lives in Texas. If you’d like to “Ask Marilyn” a question, send it to editor@womenoffaith.com. WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~9
Personal Strength
Always remember to forget The things that made you sad. But never forget to remember The things that made you glad. Always remember to forget The friends that proved untrue. But never forget to remember Those that have stuck by you. Always remember to forget The troubles that passed away. But never forget to remember The blessings that come each day. —Traditional Irish blessing
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Get up-to-the minute news from Women of Faith and The Revolve Tour! Whether it’s play-by-play from A Grand New Day or backstage stories from 4Real, you’ll be in on everything as it happens. 10 ~ CONNECTION MAGAZINE womenoffaith.com
Remember When Friends By Susan Ellingburg
One Saturday every month, I get together with a group of my friends for what we call “Scrappy Bunch” meetings. These events run from noon to whenever we feel like going home, which can be anywhere from 5 pm to midnight. Scrappy Bunch days are scheduled a year in advance; our calendar of events includes an annual sleepover and at least one field trip to a scrapbook convention. (This is serious stuff, people.) Theoretically, the purpose of this gathering is to work on our various scrapbooks, make greeting cards for local nursing homes, or engage in other crafty pursuits. And, occasionally, we do. But the real point of the day is to connect with each other. There have been days when the cropping tools never came out of their cases; we spent the whole day just catching up with each others’ lives. Some call it scrapbooking—I call it group therapy. I’ve known most of these women for something like twenty years now. Together, we’ve been through marriage, moves, depression, career changes, lawsuits, bankruptcy, weight loss, weight gain, family deaths, and—by the time you read this—the birth of our first Scrappy Baby. (Think of the scrapbooks that will generate!) We’ve laughed and cried together, prayed together, dieted together . . . in short, we’ve bonded. So it wasn’t that much of a surprise during a recent gathering when one of our group, currently serving on the mission field, called us all the way from Paraguay just to keep in touch. This is particularly precious to me because, growing up, my family moved often, a lifestyle that didn’t lend itself to making long-term friends. I used to long for what I thought of as “remember-whenfriends,” people I could look at and say, “Remember when . . .” because, when you’re always the new girl, no one else shares your memories. In the film Shall We Dance, Susan Sarandon’s character says, “We need a witness to our lives.” That’s what friends do for each other. Families do, too, but they’re pretty much stuck with you. Friends make the choice to be a part of your life.
It’s not always an easy choice. Sometimes being a friend is hard work; it requires that you set your own comfort, wishes, needs, etc. aside for a time in order to help your friend. Even our monthly gatherings, laidback as they are, require planning, cleaning (on the part of the hostess), and travel, even if it’s just across town—which, in the Dallas area, can be an hour-long drive. Some days it’s a lot of trouble. Do it anyway. It’s important. Remember-when friends don’t come along every day. If you have friends of long standing, cherish them. If you don’t, it’s never too late to start. Just don’t expect remember-when friendships to develop overnight. As George Washington (yes, that George Washington) wrote, “True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.” Not every friend will turn into a remember-when friend, but some will . . . and you’ll find they were worth the wait.
When not editing Connection Magazine, Faith to Faith, or any other Women of Faith publications, Susan Ellingburg spends her time hanging out with her scrappy friends, playing with the plants in her yard, and trying to keep cool in the brutal Texas summer heat. She’s a huge fan of small town events, British sci-fi, and mystery novels. Read Susan’s blog at TastingGod.wordpress.com
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 11
Deeper Connection
One of Life’s Greatest Gifts As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
Friendships were one of the original gifts from God. In the story of creation found in Genesis, when God made Adam He quickly noticed that it wasn’t good for him to be alone. Then God created Eve. In addition to being the model of the first marriage, they were also best friends. God creates all of us to be in relationships and grow in our friendships. Now it’s no secret that friendships are special. Friendships are formed when we spend time with someone else. In those moments when we open up our hearts in exchanges of laughter, stories, and perspectives, we have the opportunity to grow close and form timeless bonds. Friendships are one of life’s greatest gifts. They’re like treasures—you never know what you’re going to discover about yourself or someone else. While friendships can bring us joy and comfort, they also contribute to our overall health and well-being. In fact, a recent study among women found that just spending time with friends can help reduce stress and produce a calming effect. If that wasn’t enough, one study found that having friends can contribute not only to a happier life but also to a longer life. Not having friends or people you can really talk to has been considered as detrimental to a person’s health as smoking! Despite all the great benefits and delights of friendships, it’s easy to find ourselves too busy to nurture strong relationships. The demands of family, work, and daily chores can choke out the free time needed to maintain and grow friendships. That’s why it’s so important to be intentional about our friendships. Simple activities like sending an e-mail, picking up the phone, or dropping a note in the mail can go a long way to strengthening a friendship and putting a smile on someone’s face. Through small acts of kindness, we can nurture each other. We can both be a source of strength for someone else and also be strengthened. And we can grow into all God created us to be! 1. When was the last time you had a friend who did something that saved your bad day? How did the experience make you feel? Describe it in the space below. ______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ 2. When was the last time you had the opportunity to help save someone else’s bad day? How did the experience make you feel? Describe in the space below. _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________
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3. What everyday activities have you found to be most helpful when it comes to growing and nurturing friendships? _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ One of the many beauties of friendship is that you don’t have to face the challenges of life alone. God places all kinds of people in our lives to accompany us through the various stages of life. These relationships not only enrich our experiences but they also strengthen us. 4. Read Ecclesiastes 4:9–10. Can you think of a time when you specifically found this passage to be true in your own life? Explain in the space below. _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ One of the most important aspects of friendship is both knowing and being known. In friendship, we have the opportunity to be ourselves and allow others to really get to know us as we are. As a friendship grows deeper, we may find that the person that we’re getting to know is much different than we are, but that’s a good thing! Differences allow us to learn things about ourselves that we couldn’t learn any other way.
world a better place and treat others well. Now, it’s interesting to note that none of the blessings of God, also known as the Beatitudes, can happen apart from relationships. 6. Reflecting on the relationships in your own life, what have some of your friends taught you about God through their actions, attitudes, and involvement in your life? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Through friendship, God gives us the opportunity to reflect His characteristics and His qualities to those around us. In friendships, we get to put into practice what we really believe about God. 7. Think of a few of your friendships. How have they given you the opportunity to put into practice what you really believe about God? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________
When Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount, He spoke to a wide audience of ages, interests, and experiences. Yet He challenged each person to not judge others on a surface level but to look deeper at the issues of the heart. Jesus found hidden treasures in all kinds of people.
________________________________________
5. Read Matthew 5:3–12. Fill in each of the descriptions of those Jesus blesses with the promises that they will receive.
________________________________________
Blessed are the . . . What is their reward? Poor in spirit (example)
The kingdom of God
Those who mourn The meek Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness The merciful The pure in heart The peacemakers Those who are persecuted because of righteousness The insulted According to this passage, God blesses those who make the
8. Make a list of three friends in the space below. What specifically can you do this week to bless and encourage them?
________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________ One of God’s greatest gifts is friendship. God designed us to be in relationship with one another— growing, nurturing, and encouraging each other. When we’re intentional about our relationships, it’s amazing what God can do in and through us. Excerpted From Friendship: Cultivating the Relationships that Enrich Our Lives © 2009 by Margaret Feinberg. Used with permission. All Rights Reserved. Friendship is part of the 2009 Women of Faith Bible Study Series.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 13
ComeTable to the
If you can eat today, Enjoy the sunlight today, Mix good cheer with friends today, Enjoy it, And bless God for it. (Henry Ward Beecher)
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Friends
M
y Dear Freonds,
Yes, you read the word correctly. Now please say it out loud: FREONDS. Does it sound remarkably like “friends”? Perhaps that is because “freond” is actually the ancient English form of the modern derivative. Even more remarkable is its original meaning: “love.”
. . . every person God puts in our lives is the “perfect preparation for a future we cannot see.” Now girlfriends, let’s dust off that rusty high school algebra and follow me for a moment. If we know for certain, and I believe we do, that God is love, and we also know that love is a “friend,” then mustn’t we conclude that God is a friend? There’s just no way out of the equation! When we love our earthly friends in a proactive manner, we demonstrate the greater love we have for our Father and His Son, Jesus Christ who told us clearly, “I now call you friends.” Corrie ten Boom, the heroic Dutch woman who sheltered, in her home, hundreds of the persecuted during World War II, once said that every person God puts in our lives is the “perfect preparation for a future we cannot see.” How well we relate to our friends here on earth says a lot about how prepared we are to meet our Friend for eternity. In 1898, a book entitled Friendship was a runaway best seller, written by a minister by the name of Hugh Black (who relied heavily on the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson). “Friendship” was defined as the “training ground” for this higher love. He went on to say that effective friendship comes only when we accept and love the person God created us to be. “We must be our own before we can be another’s.” As final advice, he pointed out that for friendship to be permanent, it must be spiritual.
By Benita Long Photograph by Sammy Anderson
green apple cole slaw (Makes 8 to 10 servings)
dressing
1 cup good quality mayonnaise 1/4 cup distilled white vinegar 1/3 cup sugar salt and pepper, to taste
cole slaw
1 medium green cabbage (about 1½ pounds), shredded 1 medium sweet onion, finely chopped 1 carrot, grated 2 tart green apples, chopped For the dressing, combine the mayonnaise, vinegar, sugar, salt, and pepper in a small bowl. Mix well. For the cole slaw, combine the cabbage, onion, carrot, and green apples in a medium serving bowl. Pour the dressing over the salad and refrigerate for several hours for the flavors to blend. Recipe and poem from Come to the Table copyright ©2008 by Benita Long. Published in Nashville by Thomas Nelson. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
With these thoughts in mind, why not make a special effort to use your gift of hospitality as a means of reaching out to those who have special meaning in your life. Invite them to your home to share a meal or refreshments, just as a way of saying, “The person I love lives inside of you.” (Hafiz) When Benita Long went shopping for a cookbook that mixed ingredients, food, God’s word, His people, and the fellowship that comes when they’re all stirred together, she couldn’t find one . . . so she wrote it herself. The result, Come to the Table, is available at womenoffaith.com.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 15
Friends Don’t Let Friends Miss A Grand New Day! Your friends really need two full days of laughter, inspiration, and renewal. (You probably do, too) Women of Faith’s 2009 event, A Grand New Day, is the perfect girlfriend getaway! The Women of Faith experience is better when you share it with others. Besides, if your friends are at the event with you, you won’t have to explain all the inside jokes. Plus, we hear the ride home from the arena with your friends is often the best part of the weekend.
• Remember, you can register for up to 4 seats in the Connection section. (Seats are limited, so don’t delay.) • More than 3 friends? Bring 9 of your best buds and you’ll each save $10 per person. • Bring 25 friends and YOU can come for FREE! (26th seat free with every purchase of 25.)
What are you waiting for? Call or email your friends and make a date to enjoy A Grand New Day together. Call 888-49-FAITH or register online at womenoffaith.com.
And the Winners Are…
This time our random drawing pulled these three Members from our virtual pile of names: Karen Edwards from Inver Grove, MN Susan Ihrig from Stuarts Draft, VA Jennifer Xenakes from Wilmington, DE Each received a copy of Embracing Forgiveness from the Women of Faith Study Guide Series. Chance of winning Free Product Giveaway is dependent upon the number of active Members at time of drawing. Winners are chosen at random from the Member database. Winners agree to the use of their names in Women of Faith promotions. Women of Faith employees and their families are not eligible. Prizes are nontransferable; no cash substitution. Subject to all federal, state, and local laws and regulations. Taxes are the sole responsibility of the winners. Void where prohibited by law.
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My Red Swan Story By Becky M. While attending the Women of Faith conference in Columbus, Ohio, my sister, mother, and I learned of Red Swan. A lady from Red Swan spoke to the crowd of almost 17,000 women, explaining the bag at our seats with the box and brochure for Red Swan inside. It was interesting to watch a video explaining the Red Swan company and learning how other women had sent in their old jewelry and received a check that averages around $200! When my sister, mother, and I arrived back home, we went through our old jewelry and immediately sent our boxes to Red Swan. Within a matter of days, we were emailed that Red Swan had received our jewelry and that it would be valued by a specialist. Within a week, another email informed us that our check was on the way—so exciting! That next day, I received my check of $141.05! My sister received her check for $224.00! We are planning our pedicure appointments soon and will have some left over for savings! What a great way to get rid of old jewelry and even receive cash for it! Thank you, Red Swan!
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 17
Song bySong
me captive. It’s going to be a lifelong journey for me, but as long as I am getting closer and closer to being set free, that’s all that I can ask for. Q: It’s been two years since your last album “True Beauty.” How have you changed since then personally?
A: Since my last album, I can say that God has taught me a lot about myself and about who I am. On American Idol, it was difficult being surrounded by such physically beautiful people and feeling like I didn’t measure up to that. The biggest lesson that I have learned is that my value comes from the inside. And it comes from who God says that I am. Q: With American Idol, the press coverage that you get, and being on the Women of Faith platform, you’ve been given a big megaphone to communicate to people. A lot of people are listening to you. What do you want to say to them? A: I discovered this about myself on American Idol: God is the most important person in my life, and I cannot help but tell people about Him. That caused a lot of problems while I was on American Idol, but when I look back it’s something that I don’t regret for one minute. I can see the fruit that God brought out of it. When I look, now, at my life, and when I look at my career and my ministry, I recognize that God has given me a megaphone that I can speak into the lives of a lot of people that may not listen to me if I had not been on American Idol. I take that responsibility very seriously. And more than anything, I want people to know that there is a God Who loves them, Who has a plan for them, and once you give your life to Him, He will take you places that you’ve never ever imagined. Q: Can you talk about your struggle with weight and food addiction? How are you doing in your journey towards a healthy lifestyle? A: My struggle with weight has been the biggest struggle of my life; it began as a very young girl. There were certain things that happened to me as a child, just different situations of abuse. As a result of that abuse, I started to turn to food to feel comfort and to fill that void. What I have learned is that the only thing that will satisfy me and the only thing that will truly give me comfort is the Comforter. He is the only one that can fill that void. And so, I have been set free—or I am being set free—from a food addiction. I believe that you can be addicted to alcohol and drugs and, for me, I believe that I have been addicted to food for several years. It’s been a journey—it’s been a very difficult journey—but it’s a journey that I’m overcoming one day at a time. As of now, I have lost eighty pounds. It is more than eating, it is more than exercising (of course those things have to be a part of this), but it is truly because my Deliverer has set me free from all that has held 18 ~ CONNECTION MAGAZINE womenoffaith.com
Being a recording artist and, you know, having been on the biggest television show in America, it can be very difficult to not measure yourself by those standards that society would set out for you. I would say that that’s a big lesson for me. I feel like it’s one I have learned; I also feel like it’s one that I will continue to learn, probably for the rest of my life. I plan on being a woman for the rest of my life and so this is probably going to be a lifelong journey for me. Q: And how have you changed spiritually since your last record? A: God is teaching me that real beauty, and real freedom, and real joy, really come from serving others. And when I think about it, what I’m doing through my music and through my ministry is serving people. If my music isn’t reaching people, and if it’s not making a difference in people’s lives, then it’s really not doing much of anything. I mean, all the awards and all of the accolades, they don’t really measure up to a whole lot of anything when it gets to the end of my life. At the end of my life, God is going to want to know, “How did I spend my life on behalf of other people?” Q: Freedom means a lot of different things to different people. What does it mean to you with these songs and with this album? A: There are a lot of definitions for freedom, but I believe that when you are free, that means you are not bound by anything. You are able to enjoy the rights and privileges that being free affords you. You know, we say in America that we live in a free country. That means because we are called by the name of “an American,” there are certain privileges and rights that we have as a result. I believe the same is true for me as a Christian. There are certain privileges and rights that I have as a Christian. I have the right to not be bound by Satan in any way whatsoever. I have the privilege of saying that I enjoy freedom from anything this world will try to hold on me. As a result of that, I say that I have been set free because that’s what the Bible says in Galatians 5:1. It is for freedom that Christ has set me free. As a result I’m gonna live my life to glorify Him and to show the world how it really is to be a free person.
A C O N V E R S AT I O N W I T H M A N D I S A
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 19
Authenticity
Become the Girlfriend You’ve By Lisa Whittle I have a theory about girlfriends. It is what I affectionately refer to as the “haircut theory.” Drum roll, please. Haircut Theory: The surefire way to find out who your real friends are is to get a bad haircut and see who tells you it looks great. If she does and it’s really as jacked up as you think, she is not a true girlfriend. A real friend will not lie to you just so you will keep getting that jacked-up haircut and thereby, won’t look cuter than her. Gasp, girlfriends, but you know it’s true. We women are clever, but we are also intimately familiar with our own game. Though we have mastered the art of one-ups and shallow compliments, deep down inside, we all really just want to find a real girlfriend to do life with. The problem is, we just sometimes go about finding her in some really ineffective ways. Hence, the haircut theory. Mind you, I’ve never myself tried this haircut theory out. (Not on purpose, anyway.) I’m way too attached to my hair to forgo my privilege to dictate how it’s cut, though it defies logic since it isn’t long enough to cover up my saddlebags in the first place. But were I to be bold enough to visit Great Clips without a plan, I am convinced that the person who tells me the truth in the aftermath is the one who is my true friend. She’s a great friend to have, if you are brave enough to hear her “truth.” For the mere flash in her eyes at the sight of our attempt at the latest Victoria Beckham short-do is enough to send most of us running in the direction of the girlfriend who assures us it looks cute. For a minute, we don’t care what her motive is. All we know is that she makes us feel good when we feel bad. But she doesn’t always make for the best friend in the long run. Not that I would base my entire girlfriend selection on this theory, but this haircut theory has, for the most part for me, proven true. In the past, I have picked girlfriends who were of the “feel good” kind. A “feel good girlfriend” is a girlfriend you love on a surface
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Always Wanted to Have . . . level. You need her for a minute or two or ten, but that’s about the extent of it. She’ll never go deeper because she really doesn’t want to. She won’t be the one to dry your tears (or snot) on the sleeve of her Ann Taylor shirt because she won’t stick around long enough to hear your issue. She will make you feel good for a minute and then move onto the next person. It’s nothing personal; it’s just her gig. With this theory fresh on my mind, I recently attended my girlfriend’s daughter’s cheerleading competition. A former cheerleader myself, I was excited to get to see the amazing things these girly athletes could do with their bodies. And I wasn’t disappointed. My senses took in all the flips, twists, jumps, and stunts . . . much more than I even expected. Watching, I found myself feeling old, stiff, and generally lame. Then, suddenly interrupting my lamenting over days old, a perfect analogy for this article on girlfriends came to me. Good thing, since I was desperately seeking a reminder of why it was a good idea to grow up.
I have to take my own inventory first. What kind of friend am I? Noticing the burly guys in the back, standing beneath the performing cheerleaders, I thought about the role of these guys my young cheerleader friends call “spotters.” I thought about the fact that spotters are needed, but only in the short term. They pop in and pop back out. They are available, but only at a distance. And they leave just as soon as the next group in need comes along, moving on without so much as a hint of partiality. Regretfully, it reminded me of some of my friends from my past—“girlfriend spotters,” sharing many of the same qualities as the burly guys standing on the back of the performance mat in front of me. Even more regretfully, I acknowledge that I have, at times, been one of them. Please don’t misunderstand me; “girlfriend spotters” (a.k.a. “feel good girlfriends”) serve their purpose. They certainly meet a need for a short time. But in the end, the interaction they produce is more dutiful than it is deep. And most girlfriends I have come across reach a point where that is simply not enough to go the distance. On the other hand, there are the “girlfriend bases.” (a.k.a., the ones who will tell you your attempt at the Victoria Beckham short-do didn’t work.) Like the strong, firm hands of a cheerleading “base,” these girlfriends are solid and steady. They are the ones who are there for us for the one a.m. phone call. They will share the pint (or gallon) of ice cream with us, but make us stop at the mention of a
second. They are the ones who, like cheerleading bases, ground us and quite literally, lift us up. They are the girlfriends all of us, if we’re being really honest, want to have and may or may not have ever really found. Let me be very honest with you, girlfriends. I’m not looking for the “girlfriend spotters” to do life with these days. My life is much too stressful and complicated to invest in friendships that will only supply me with a couple minutes of “feel good” interaction. No, I am looking for much more. I am looking for meaningful relationships with women that I can really give my heart to. Not in the place of my family and certainly not in the place of my God. But an honest . . . real . . . true . . . lasting . . . friend. Honestly, it’s what I need. But in order to find her, I have to take my own inventory first. What kind of friend am I? Am I true to my friends? Do I bring out the best in them? Do I support them, encourage them, and lift them up? Or do I pop in and out of their life and invest little to nothing in them? After all the theories and cheerleading jargon are said and done, the bottom line to gaining the authentic friendships you want to have is to become, yourself, the girlfriend you’ve always wanted to have. It is the best way to attract those bearing the same characteristics. And if in the process you do happen to attract a “spotter” into your life? Learn to be OK with the fact that she just told you your haircut was cute when you know it really looks like it was cut by Edward Scissorhands. And learn to appreciate the way it made you feel, at least for a moment. Because inside your heart, you know that every time you happen upon a mirror to see the truth, you’ve got your “base” ready to receive your tears (and snot) onto her shirt. Though Lisa Whittle’s cheerleading days are long over, she is still grateful for the bases that held her up and the spotters who showed up for reinforcement along the way. The time she once spent perfecting her splits is now spent cheering for the women she meets who desire real, authentic friendships and aren’t afraid to find them. She prefers writing over exercising, yes’s over no’s, and anyone’s hair but her own. And when she is not lamenting over a bad haircut, she runs a household, coordinates a ministry, writes books, and cheers on audiences of women to pursue being whole. Lisa’s book, Behind Those Eyes, is available at womenoffaith.com.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 21
weekly email
Does This Look Familiar?
You should be receiving emails like these every week. The Women of Faith Team takes turns writing letters to our Members. They’re touching, funny, insightful, and more—just like the Team members themselves. It’s one of the benefits of membership in the Women of Faith Connection. If you’re not receiving this benefit, let us know! Send your email address to connection@womenoffaith.com or call 888-49-FAITH to place your email on file and start receiving this important benefit.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 23
Good Reads
FEAR OF NOT
Mattering
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:29–31 NIV) What’s more inglorious than hair? Who inventories follicles? We monitor other resources: the amount of money in the bank, gas in the tank, pounds on the scale. But hair on the skin? No one, not even the man with the expanding bald spot, posts tiny number signs adjacent to each strand. We style hair, color hair, cut hair . . . but we don’t count hair. God does. “The very hairs of your head are all numbered.” So are the sparrows in the field. In the days of Jesus a penny was one of the smallest coins in circulation. One such penny would buy two sparrows. In other words everyone could own a couple of sparrows. But why would they? What purpose did they serve? What goal would they accomplish? In Luke’s gospel Jesus goes a tender step further. “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God” (12:6 RSV). One penny would buy you two sparrows. Two pennies, however, would buy you five. The seller threw in the fifth for free. Society still has its share of fifth sparrows: indistinct souls who feel dispensable, disposable, worth less than a penny. They drive carpools and work in cubicles. Some sleep beneath cardboard on the sidewalks and others beneath comforters in the suburbs. What they share is a feeling of smallness. You’ll find a flock of fifth sparrows in a Chinese orphanage for the deaf and mute. China’s one-child policy has a way of weeding out the weak. Males are selected over females. Healthy babies outrank the impaired. Chinese children who cannot speak or hear stand little chance of a healthy, productive life. Every message tells them, “You don’t matter.”
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So when someone says otherwise, they melt. Chinese missionary John Bentley describes such a moment. Deaf orphans in Henan province were given a Mandarin translation of a children’s book I wrote entitled You Are Special. The story describes Punchinello, a wooden person in a village of wooden people. The villagers had a practice of sticking stars on the achievers and dots on the strugglers. Punchinello had so many dots that people gave him more dots for no reason at all. But then he met Eli, his maker. Eli affirmed him, telling him to disregard the opinion of others. “I made you,” he explained. “I don’t make mistakes.” Punchinello had never heard such words. When he did, his dots began to fall off. And when the children in the Chinese orphanage heard such words, their worlds began to change. I’ll let John describe the moment. hen they first distributed these books to the children W and staff of the deaf school, the most bizarre thing happened. At a certain point everyone started crying. I could not understand this reaction. . . . Americans are somewhat used to the idea of positive reinforcement. . . . Not so in China and particularly not for these children who are virtually abandoned and considered valueless by their natural parents because they were born “broken.” When the idea came through in the reading that they are special simply because they were made by a loving creator . . . everyone started crying—including their teachers! It was wild.
You are indeed His idea, His best idea. If a basketball player stands at the foul line repeating, “I’ll never make the shot, I’ll never make the shot,” guess what? He’ll never make the shot. If you pass your days mumbling, “I’ll never make a difference; I’m not worth anything,” guess what? You will be sentencing yourself to a life of gloom without parole. Even more, you are disagreeing with God. Questioning his judgment. Second-guessing his taste. According to him you were “skillfully wrought” (Ps. 139:15). You were “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14). He can’t stop thinking about you! If you could count his thoughts of you, “they would be more in number than the sand” (Ps. 139:18). Why does He love you so much? The same reason the artist loves his paintings or the boat builder loves his vessels. You are his idea. Indeed, his best idea. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago” (Eph. 2:10 NLT). Every year tens of thousands of women attend the Women of Faith conferences. One reason they do is to hear words of comfort. After hearing one speaker after another describe God’s compassion for each of his children, an attendee sent this e-mail. Do you need this reminder? Any chance that these words are falling on the ears of a fifth sparrow? If so, it’s time to deal with the fear of not mattering. Take this one seriously. The fear that you are one big zero will become a self-fulfilling prophecy that will ruin your life. It works like this. You’re slugging away at a menial job that pays poorly and saps your energy. The salary covers the bills but nothing more. Your God-given abilities languish like unwatered roses. But then you read of a job opening that capitalizes on your skills, maximizes your abilities. So in a moment of uncharacteristic courage, you submit your application. The employer invites you in for an interview. That’s when the mentality of the Tribe of the Too Smalls returns. “I’ll never impress them,” you moan. “I’ll look stupid in the interview. They’ll ask questions I can’t answer. I’ll never get this job.” A mouse in a lions’ den has better odds of success. You flop miserably and descend yet another level into the basement of self-defeat. Or consider the girl who is asked out on a date by a good-looking guy. So good-looking that she wonders what he sees in her. He’s out of her league. Once he gets to know her, he’ll drop her. Why, she may not be able to maintain his interest for one evening. Insecurity drives her to use the only tool she trusts, her body. She sleeps with him on the first date for fear that there won’t be a second. She ends up feeling like the disposable woman she didn’t want to become. Fear of insignificance creates the result it dreads, arrives at the destination it tries to avoid, facilitates the scenario it disdains.
I n the movie Hook, Peter Pan had grown up, become old and overweight, and looked nothing like the Peter the lost boys knew. In the midst of the boys shouting that this was NOT Peter, one of the smallest boys took him by the hand and pulled him down to his level. He then placed his hands on Peter’s face and proceeded to move the skin around, reshaping his face. The boy looked into Peter’s eyes and said, “There you are, Peter!” I brought a lot with me to Women of Faith, things that only God could see. But throughout the weekend I could feel God’s hands on my face, pushing away all of the “stuff” I had brought. And then I could hear Him say, “There you are. There you are!” Shhh. Listen. Do you hear? God is saying the same words to you. Finding the beauty the years bury, the sparkle that time tries to take. Seeing you and loving the you He sees. “There you are. There you are.” Max Lucado, Minister of Writing and Preaching for the Oak Hills Church in San Antonio, Texas, is the husband of Denalyn and father of Jenna, Andrea, and Sara. On a good week he reads a good book, has a few dinners with his wife, and breaks 90 on the golf course. He usually settles for the first two. Excerpted from Fearless, © 2009 by Max Lucado. Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Used with permission. All rights reserved. Use your discount to save 20% on Fearless at womenoffaith.com.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 25
Love Lessons By Lisa Harper
I come from a long line of people who aren’t into cats. My grandmother wasn’t a cat person; my mom isn’t a cat person; I myself have always preferred the absolute—albeit codependent—devotion of dogs. But late one night last summer a tiny orange tabby appeared on the rock wall outside my bedroom and wouldn’t quit meowing until I gave him some milk. I tried to shoo him away the next day and get him to traipse back to wherever it was he came from, but he stubbornly refused to leave. A few days after the uninvited feline guest arrived, I woke up at the crack of dawn to the sound of dogs barking. I stumbled to the window and rapped sharply on the glass—which usually causes my Jack Russell terriers to be quiet—only this time their barking got louder and more frenzied. I muttered and grumbled to myself as I climbed out of bed and wriggled into a sweatshirt.
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I firmly believe the friendships we get to experience with other people (and to a lesser degree, pets) are a divine gift. I opened the back door groggily and yelled, “Harley and Dottie, hush!” hoping my disheveled appearance would be enough to silence them and I wouldn’t actually have to hike up the dewy hill for a face-to-snout reprimand. But then I noticed Dottie had something in her mouth and was playfully shaking it back and forth and I began sprinting toward her yelling “Dottie, no!” because I realized her new chew toy was actually the homeless kitty.
from aTough Tabby
God never intended for us to exist in isolation; we’re hard-wired by Him to love and be loved.
By the time I got there, Dottie had gently placed the slobbery ball of orange fur on the ground and was looking at me with the same shamefaced expression she wears when she’s destroyed yet another dog bed. I picked up the kitten, who was completely limp but still barely breathing, and carried him into the house thinking “Every living thing deserves to have somebody with it when it dies,” and assuming I’d be burying the poor little thing within the hour. Well, long story short, that plucky kitten miraculously recovered and I christened him “Lazarus.” Within a week he was climbing trees and stalking butterflies and harassing me for fresh tuna. I couldn’t help but spoil him since I felt responsible for his near-death experience. More than once I found myself walking through the cat paraphernalia aisle at Target sheepishly pilling things into my cart! Lazarus even wormed his way into Harley and Dottie’s hearts and took to cuddling with them on chilly nights, purring away contently. Sometimes, when I watched him frolicking with them in the field behind my house, I was tempted to call out, “Lazarus, you idiot, those are the same mutts who almost killed you!” But instead I’d just grin and think, “That silly cat has charmed us all.” Four weeks ago, on a Monday morning, Lazarus wasn’t at the back door waiting for his breakfast like he’d been every single morning for eight months. I was immediately concerned. It wasn’t like him to miss a meal. For the next several days, I went on long walks calling his name and put up a “Lost Cat” sign in our local mom and pop grocery store. I kept hoping maybe he’d simply gone on an extended hunt, as tomcats are prone to do. However, the following Monday morning a woman called because she’d noticed the sign and recognized Lazarus as the cat she’d seen killed by another car when she was driving her kids to school. She tearfully explained what she’d witnessed and how he hadn’t suffered. I told her how much I appreciated her call and that I was glad to know definitively what had happened to him. Then I hung up the phone, sat down heavily on the couch and cried. Frankly, I’ve been surprised by how much the loss of Lazarus has affected me. When he died it was almost as if I lost my pinky toe . . . not something you tend to appreciate, yet its absence leaves you noticeably off-balance. I often glance at the crook in the tree he used to lounge in or feel my heart skip a beat when I see another tabby that resembles him.
On a more positive note, grieving for that bossy cat has also been a poignant reminder to be more grateful for the human companions God has so generously woven into my world. To be intentional about calling friends I haven’t talked to in a while. To ask “mom” friends if I can take their ragamuffins to McDonalds so they can take a much needed nap. To shove my cell phone deep into the recesses of my purse and really listen to the friend I’m sitting across from in Starbucks. I firmly believe the friendships we get to experience with other people (and to a lesser degree, pets) are a divine gift. Our Heavenly Father is the one who graces us with people to laugh with and cry with and lean on and lend a hand to. Furthermore, God Himself modeled relationship from the beginning of Biblical history: Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” Genesis 1:26a (ESV, emphasis mine) In other words, God is in us! He exists in perfect relationship with Himself–God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. And since the Bible makes it clear that we’re created in His image–that we bear His thumbprint–it also means we’re created for community. God never intended for us to exist in isolation; we’re hard-wired by Him to love and be loved. So as spring gives way to summer, I encourage you to join me in celebrating the relationships our Redeemer has blessed us with. Drop by a friend’s house with a mocha and a card one morning this week. Hug the widow you see sitting by herself in church every Sunday and invite her to lunch afterwards. Call your mama . . . even if she has a tendency to talk your ear off. And by all means, put some milk on the back porch for that stray cat you’ve seen wandering around your neighborhood! By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped. Ecclesiastes 4:12 (The Message) Max Lucado calls Lisa Harper one of the “best Bible tour guides around.” Lisa earned a Masters degree in Theological Studies from Covenant Seminary in St. Louis. She also served as director of Focus on the Family’s national women’s ministry and as women’s ministry director at a large Nashville church. Lisa is a popular columnist with Today’s Christian Woman. She’s single, has two dogs and a bevy of friends she considers “like family” and lives in Tennessee.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 27
Shine the Light CONTEST WINNER
By Cathi Bobbitt Pat Ackerman is a woman after God’s own heart, who lets God’s Light shine on all around her. She has helped several single moms and other struggling people to move, and taken countless meals to those who are out of the hospital, have new babies, are going through chemo or unable to get a meal on their own. She recently spent the night—sleeping on the floor—with an elderly woman who had thrown her hip out and needed help at home after the hospital put it back in place. Pat is over 70 years young, so this was not an easy task for her, but she did it with such love! She has vacuumed homes for people with knee surgery, back surgery, and various other operations and illnesses. She has cried with the broken-hearted and laughed with others to celebrate. She has taken people into her home to give them a start. She serves meals to the homeless and struggling in our community through Open Heart Kitchen and CrossWinds Church in Dublin, California. She never misses an opportunity to serve anyone. While she does this she also doesn’t miss an opportunity to tell them how happy she is to serve the Lord! Every Friday night she hosts dinner and pinochle for anyone who wants to come. It has provided a place for singles and couples, Christian and non-, to come after a long week and feel welcomed as part of a loving community to enjoy a fun evening together in a safe and healthy environment. She especially encourages those who have adult mentally ill children, as she has a son with schizophrenia who is now 47 years old. She works with a support group and unashamedly tells people how she would not have survived if it weren’t for God’s faithful companionship. She encourages them to take His hand and let Him lead them through this difficult part of life. She loves mornings with her coffee, Bible, and the Lord! She often can’t wait to share some key learning or word of comfort or “treasure” the Lord has given her. She doesn’t have much by the world’s standards. She has to rent rooms in her house in order to make the house payment and works part time in a pre-school, but what she does have she shares to the last coin! I have known her to give her last money for the month to someone in need and then make do with what is in her cupboards. Of course, the Lord always provides for this good and faithful servant, so she never starves nor has her electricity shut off. And she doesn’t worry about it because she knows the Lord and knows He will provide for her. Pat Ackerman is a great reflection of Jesus and lets His light shine though her to everyone she meets. Many praise the Father because of her love for them!
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Wrap It Up
7Friends Thoughts About
1. Effective friendship comes only when we accept and love the person God created us to be. 2. Knowing and understanding Jesus as our Friend can help us see ourselves in a new light. 3. Friends believe in us. They applaud our gifts and celebrate our good fortune. 4. Remember your friends.
5. Be the girlfriend you’ve always wanted to have.
6. The friendships we get to experience are a divine gift. 7. Good friends are worth the trouble.
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 29
Women of Faith Online ESCAPE INTO A GOOD BOOK.
It’s the next best thing to a vacation—and you don’t have to worry about flight delays or lost luggage. Dive into someone else’s life for a while with a novel from womenoffaith.com. Romance, suspense, intrigue—we’ve got it covered. Here are three new selections from Women of Faith Fiction, but if none of these strike your fancy, don’t worry. There are plenty more to choose from at womenoffaith.com.
Where Do I Go? By Neta Jackson
The women of Manna House Women’s Shelter need a Program Director—and Gabby has the right credentials. She’s in her element, feeling God’s call on her life at last —until her husband gives her an ultimatum: quit your job at the shelter or risk divorce and losing custody of our sons. From the best-selling author of the Yada Yada Prayer Group novels.
Love Starts with Elle By Rachel Hauck
Elle’s living the dream—but is it her dream or his? When Jeremiah proposed, Elle handed him her heart on a silver platter. Then he accepts a pastorate in a different state. Can Elle leave behind the people and place so dear to her heart? Is love transferrable across the miles? And can you take it with you when you go?
So Not Happening By Jenny B. Jones
Our first novel for The Revolve Tour girls! When Bella’s mom falls in love with a man she met on the Internet, Bella has to pack up and move from Manhattan to Oklahoma. On a farm, no less! How can a girl go on when her charmed life is gone and God appears to be giving her the total smackdown?
Member Benefit Bulletin Preferred Seats Ah, the joys of membership . . . like sitting in the best seats in the arena with (up to) 3 of your friends. It’s Connection Preferred Seating and it’s one of your benefits! BUT it doesn’t last forever. Space is limited and there’s a deadline to register. (After the deadline, we release those seats to non-members.) So don’t wait! Check womenoffaith.com for your event city’s deadline. Upcoming Seating Deadlines Anaheim, CA
July 17, 2009
Denver, CO
July 31, 2009
Philadelphia, PA Phoenix, AZ
Portland, OR St. Paul, MN
Sacramento, CA
Oklahoma City, OK
July 24, 2009 August 7, 2009
August 14, 2009 August 21, 2009 August 28, 2009
September 4, 2009
30 ~ CONNECTION MAGAZINE womenoffaith.com
coming attraction . . . Behind-the-scenes video Go backstage at an event, visit Team members in their homes, tag along on a trip to the coffee shop . . . you’ll feel like you’re one of the Porch Pals yourself! You can even be part of the conversation by sending in questions to be answered on camera. Details on this fun new benefit coming soon.
By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped. Ecclesiastes 4:12
WOMEN OF FAITH
Summer 2009
~ 31
820 W. Spring Creek Pkwy., Suite 400 Plano, Texas 75023 Address Service Requested
Women of Faith
Semi-Annual Sale
30% off EVERYTHING in our online store!
Start shopping now at womenoffaith.com Discount Code: SALE
Sale dates: 7/7/09 to 8/31/09. Discount not valid on event registrations or previous purchases. Some restrictions apply.