Why We Cry Tears of Sorrow, Tears of Joy

Do you ever wonder why we cry? If you’ve ever stopped to think about it, you’ll be able to recognize that there are tears of happiness as well as tears of loss or melancholy. Naturally, we all prefer tears of contentment and pride. These are the tears that cheer us up and make us glad that we’re alive. Tears of sadness can work one of two ways. Some people feel worse after crying over disappointment or loss. Others insist that there is nothing as soul-cleansing as a good old-fashioned crying jag.

Whatever our reasons for crying, it is always an emotional trigger that brings these salty drops to our cheeks, reddening our eyes and swelling our nasal passages. For some of us, crying results in the hiccups, in more crying, or at least in some embarrass ment. Crying is a natural process, though, and sometimes it is the only option we have to express our strong emotions.

I have seen grown men cry, though not often. It is a disturbing sight for someone like me, as I grew up among men who seemed like solid steel. This was a group of men identified by Tom Brokaw as “the greatest generation.” They simply did not cry when anyone was looking, so we all naturally assumed that the male portion of the human population didn’t cry at all, though I’m sure they had plenty to cry about at times!

The one and only time I saw our father cry was after he received news that his best friend had passed away suddenly. Dad went immediately to the barn, and I sneakily followed him. Peeking through an open window, I encountered the most disturbing sight I had seen in my young life. There stood our dad, crying like a baby. Deflated to have seen him in such a downcast manner, I ran back to the house and never spoke about it. When I did see him about an hour later, he seemed fully recovered and very dignified again.

Many women were and still are champion criers. Perhaps we’re more emotionally wired to let our tear ducts flow when the time is right, or perhaps we just feel more comfortable letting it out. There is nothing shameful or undesirable about crying! Have you seen the movie “Steel Magnolias”? Now, that is a real tearjerker. I have been able to watch it only one time. I suppose that story is too familiar or cuts too close to home for some of us.

Our mother cried tears of joy when she saw her firstborn son fly over our family farm in the late 1950s. He had made arrangements with his pilot buddy to fly over, dip their wings, circle, dip their wings one more time, and then fly on. Although she knew in advance that this event was going to take place, she was so overwhelmed by it that she cried for nearly an hour. Those were tears of pride and happiness, and I’m so glad she had that opportunity to see our brother spread his wings.

Tears of physical pain must be acknowledged, too. Sometimes, when we are experiencing tremendous pain, there seems no way to prevent or stop crying. Pain is a lonely place, filled with such uncertainty. We don’t know what will happen to us next or what the outcome will be for us.

Not to be forgotten are the tears of a broken heart or as the result of getting our feelings hurt. These tears and their triggers are just awful. Nobody enjoys hurt feelings, and we often are left with a bitter taste afterwards. After the “big cry,” we may feel self-doubt and a lack of trust toward others and toward ourselves and our own judgment. The best move to make is to have a thorough weep. Cry it out before starting to rebuild your pride and confidence.

Of course, we all know that tears of joy and happiness are the best tears that there are. This kind of tearing up feels good and always has a good outcome. If you are a big crier, like some of my friends and relatives, be sure to always carry lots of tissues wherever you go. If you’re lucky enough to be married to a farmer (or a craftsman), this may be taken care of for you—they always have huge cotton handkerchiefs in their pockets that soak up extra amounts of those salty tears. Just be sure to kindly launder it for him before returning it to his stash of hankies! I hope you only have good tears in the future.

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