True to Me

Choosing Myself

Over the years, I have written a lot in this column about the importance of making a decision. As we know, nothing really changes in our lives until we make a commitment to go down a better path.

In my life, I have made some good decisions and some bad decisions. As the years in my life proceed, I’ve noticed that I am looking at situations differently than I did in the past. Back in the day, my goal was to make sure everyone in my life was happy. I was the strong one. I was the caretaker. I was the fixer. I made my decisions based on what would be best for everyone else. There is a big problem with this approach.

“Every decision you make reflects your evaluation of who you are.” –Marianne Williamson

Ouch! That one really hurt. What did my method of decision-making say about what I thought about myself? I realized that I felt everyone else was more important than me. I realized that I had spent the majority of my life trying to make everyone else happy. I realized that, in the end, I was hoping that if I gave everyone else everything that they wanted from me, they would be happy. It doesn’t work that way!

“Sometimes you don’t realize you are actually drowning when you are trying to be everyone else’s anchor.” – Anonymous

Janet Van deWalle, National Publisher

By Janet Van deWalle

This was a big revelation, but here’s the part that I really wasn’t prepared for…those people in my life who were used to me jumping through every hoop to please them didn’t much like it when I started taking care of me . I had trained them very well to expect me to come to their rescue, to do whatever it took to make their day…regardless of the consequences to my own well-being.

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” –Anonymous

As we know, every decision has many possible outcomes. Some we see; some we don’t. Some feel great, and others make us feel as if we have been sucker-punched. Since I’ve changed my approach to making decisions, I’ve had each of these outcomes occur. The good thing is that I have learned so much about myself and about others in my life.

This path of making “selfish” decisions can be a rocky road. I will tell you this, though: It’s your time to seek your joy and follow your bliss. Go for it!

“Sometimes in life, you have to make a selfish decision and do what’s best for you.” – Saquon Barkley